sunflorall - Tumblr blog

sunflorall · 2 months

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do things ever get better?

#tired #im so tired #i want to give up #adult life

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sunflorall · 3 months

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“You have flaws,” i tell you. But it does not matter when it comes to the matters of the heart. I still love you with all your flaws. I love you without a reason. Anyone can love a thing with a “because.” That’s easy. But loving someone or something “despite” is the truest and realest form of love. To know the flaws, and continuing to cherish it is probably the most sacred emotion.

-Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sunflorall · 6 months

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Red was my favourite colour growing up. Because Red is the colour of sunsets, because roses are red, because rubies and maple leaves are red, because i love strawberries and pomegranates, and because red can be described as scarlet. But now that it’s everywhere around, i hate it. Because it’s also the colour of blood and i am devastated by seeing it dripping out of the bodies of people i loved. I remember my homeland as it is a mirror i look at. i’ll forget my name before i forget it. Because i cannot liberate my home with my two little palms and i am tired of carrying the bodies of my beloved in my arms. Because i cannot shelter my people under the ethereal wings of an angel. I’m just a human, after all. I loved white but i am tired of wrapping the human bodies in a white shroud. They are not just flesh and bones. They were living breathing human beings until yesterday. I hate white. I loved grey but the smoke rising from the bombs make me throw up. I am just a child after all, to let go of everything dear to me is like stabbing my own heart a thousand times. This is a cruel destiny written for a child. I hold my hands over the ears of my heart, so i don’t hate this fate. - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sunflorall · 7 months

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The “i hate you with all my heart because you hurt and betrayed me yet why can't i stop loving you” trope will never not DESTROY me. That's the kind of pain i ALWAYS look for―

#dark academia #love #poetry #dead poets society #dead poet #tropes #favorite trope #fanfic trope #tropetember #trope talk #bookish #booklr

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sunflorall · 8 months

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I’ve loved you like a sacred religious ritual, like creation of the earth, like something that was bound to happen. I’ve loved you like breathing. I miss you. Your memory pierce through the walls of the house in my heart and lays down in my bed. There’s no space for me to rest. I go to the other room and it is there as well. You’re there as well. The walls are painted with misery and my furniture is made up of melancholy. This is my only house and there is no peace left. I want to continue loving you but once at least, i want to breathe quietly as well. I want to go home and not be sad for once. Will the misery ever end? Will you ever love me back the way i love you? When will the misery end? When will you love me back? This is not my home. It is not where i grew up. This is not my happy place. I want to feel at home while being at home at least once. I want to be given a chance. I want to be given my peace again. I want to protect it this time around. I am tired of taking things for granted when i have them. I am tired of begging for things that i took for granted when i had them. - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sunflorall · 9 months

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A memory of love

I am here in the dark writing sonnets about you, which you'll never read. The world might realise the intensity of my emotions towards you but does that matter if YOU don't realise it? My world revolves around you. You are the sun to my earth. Which is to say that, You are the brightest star of my Solar System. You're the feeling of warmth i crave on my cold days. Is that too hard to comprehend? Can't you just love me back? I am tired of writing you letters that does not reach you. They might never will. They feel like a mosaic of my own feelings that i have for you. A memory of love. A haunting memory of love.

- Sanawar fatima saeed

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sunflorall · 9 months

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The beauty of silence

I was always a talkative person; i had so many stories to tell at all occasions. And i loved talkative people. Quiet people never reversed the pulsing of my heart until it was about you; everything about me changed when it was about you. I only realised the beauty of silence when i met YOU. Sitting quietly in a room with you was superior than telling a thousand tales. I had never yearned for the silence so sincerely before. I never realised how meaningful sharing silence can be. I was used to get lost in poetry but you made me realise how dreamy it is to lose oneself in silence, in YOUR silence. In a room full of noises, the serenity of your silence burned me. You tell a thousand stories with those warm caramel macchiato eyes of yours without saying a single word, in sheer silence. And i, not in my thousand lives, would desire to ruin the rhythm of it. - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sunflorall · 10 months

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“i can do this myself” girl & “oh, ofc you can, sit down” guy

✨bound to fall in loveee✨

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sunflorall · 10 months

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If we part, may we find each other in a dream,

Just like dried flowers are found in old books.

- Faraz

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sunflorall · 10 months

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My spring melancholy is developing in these hot days into summer madness.

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sunflorall · 10 months

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Removing the veil of numbness

from my bruised heart

to let it breath

to initiate the hurt once again,

this fine June.

The wounds are old

but November is over

the hurt won’t be as intense

and in June, it’ll heal.

- Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sunflorall · 11 months

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nostalgia is a monster that devours me. and i let it. i let it.

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sunflorall · 1 year

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A lonely love

how do i love someone else when i know you exist in this world? even the thought of moving on and living with someone else who is not you takes my breath away.

what is the point of this love when i’m so consumed in your existence and you aren’t even aware of mine? my heart feels so lonely even in the crowded places when you aren’t around.

some love stories are just not destined to have happy endings and ours maybe one of them.

- Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sunflorall · 1 year

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Sometimes loving you hurts so much i even consider falling out of it. Being the only one feeling all those emotions with such fervour only brings me enormous pain.

I try forgetting you but it is the same hell as remembering you. Remembering you is a pain. it make me want to smash my head; distracts me from doing anything; physically hurts me.

But forgetting is weird. It’s empty. Even if by any chance i make myself forget you (which btw is impossible), what would i do with the void left in my heart? How would i ever be able to fill it? How would i continue living with that abysmal emptiness?

No matter what i do with your love, i’ll end up being hurt anyway so why not continue loving you? - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

#dark academia #love #poetry #sanawar #sanawar fatima saeed #sanawar fatima #quote #poetry academia #poeticstories #poetic #poetic stories

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sunflorall · 1 year

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I write your name on the dust scattered on car windows. i doodle your name in my notebooks while i study. I arrange flower petals in a way that would eventually make it look like your name.

Every time i find a chance, i write your name. So the world can be filled with more of you.

Names are sacred especially when they belong to someone you love. When you love a person, there name become an emotion. The holy syllable that can fill voids inside and around you.

So i think poets were right when they said “perhaps a good amount of love is stored in names.” - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

#female writers #writer #writers #poet #poets #poetess #dark academia #poetry #love #poetry academia #write up #sanawar fatima saeed #sanawar #sanawar fatima

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sunflorall · 1 year

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اللّٰہ کرے جہاں کو مری یاد بھول جائے

اللّٰہ کرے کہ تم کبھی ایسا نہ کر سکو

i wonder how it feels like to be the only person to remember someone. how you would want to make everyone remember them but suddenly they are vanished from everyone’s memory but yours. like the world never knew them. like they were never there at first. how would it make you go crazy. how would it make you question if you’re delusional.

so the poets were right when they said;

ایک جیسا عذاب ہوتا ہے،

یاد رکھنے میں بھول جانے میں

Definitely same amount of pain for people who remember and the ones who forget. only a different kind.

#dark academia #love #poetry #quote #poetry academia #urdu #sanawar #sanawar fatima #sanawar fatima saeed #writer #writers #spilled ink

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sunflorall · 1 year

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In darkness,

my hands reach out towards you

even when you aren’t there

your shadows always are.

I’m writing you letters

that i know would never reach you

and you’ll never read them.

And people call me a poetess,

when i am just a lover.

And when i wake up,

i forget my name

and call myself by yours.

- Sanawar Fatima Saeed

#sanawar #sanawar fatima saeed #sanawar fatima #love #dark academia #poetry #quote #poetry academia #poeticstories #poetic #poetic stories #writers #writer #writeblr #poet #poets #poetess

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