sunshineandtrying

[sunshineandtrying]

as a long-time ultra femme lesbian I am BEGGING for more femme bill / billdip ^^

god put this on my heart

[sunshineandtrying]

Percy dosen't just have traditional and edgy pins on his battle jacket,he also has a few of these bad boys

[sunshineandtrying]

whatever tumblr users did to breaking bad is the exact opposite of what everyone did to mlp

[sunshineandtrying]

I don't know if it hurt more when it happened, or when I realized it happened to me

[sunshineandtrying]

An excerpt from my poem..

[sunshineandtrying]

[sunshineandtrying]

i'm just so tired

[sunshineandtrying]

ventcore

[sunshineandtrying]

[sunshineandtrying]

TW: CSA // CW: controversial opinion, I'm not talking on behalf of other people

There's a reason why I don't like to call myself a survivor and it's pretty simple.

I haven't survived.

Sure, technically speaking I did make it out alive.

But a huge piece of me, that sweet and innocent part that looked at the world with bright eyes full of excitement, is now dead.

The abuse partially killed me, both inside and outside.

Not entirely.

But what remains of me is broken and cannot be fixed.

The only thing I can do now is to learn how to live with it.

The word "survivor" personally doesn't empower me.

It just makes me feel weak.

[sunshineandtrying]

[sunshineandtrying]

i hate u, little me.

[sunshineandtrying]

[sunshineandtrying]

Women,Rose Starring/ The shape of a girl Joan McLeod/ Elektra, Sophokles/ Letter to my rage,Lidia Yuknavitch

[sunshineandtrying]

on the crippling reality of how knowing you were innocent doesn't make any of it better

[sunshineandtrying]

I'd rather rot in hell for the eternity instead of lowering my head for a god that allowed all of this

[sunshineandtrying]

something about growing up suicidal and extremely mentally ill. being the kid that your parents fight about, that sees psychiatrists and misses school. and creating this character for yourself, accepting yourself as someone that loves suffering and victimhood and depravity, that relishes in shocking or disgusting adults, that seeks pity. seeing death as your destiny, as this beautiful catharsis that will relieve you of all your suffering. imagining your own death for a sense of comfort, because you needed to feel like everything would culminate and be worth something.

how do you heal and move on? how do you grow up and become a normal person. when you're used to walking around crying for help, trying to express the urgency and enormity of your situation at all times. how do you let go of that.