svitkonna

[svitkonna]

this is literally the plot of sakamoto days

[svitkonna]

-Words leave me-

They say I'm good with words. But am I though? Because I've always seen them leaving me mid conversations, while consoling others, answering questions about myself, when I need them the most, all the time. Maybe my love isn't enough to make them stay. Words leave me. The moment I have to voice them to others. And I'm just left there with my crippling anxiety and deafening silence between me and others, that makes me wanna unalive myself. 

I remember how yesterday a friend of mine came up to me and said "Can you please write down this essay for me, my class starts in 23 minutes, my grades and my life depends on it! Please!" And I did and handed it over to her after 19 minutes and she said "Thank you!" And just at that moment I felt the words leaving and then I saw her leaving too. And just when she became so distant that she couldn't hear even if I yelled those words that came back to me, the second I was out of time. "Next time don't say please" "Friends don't say thank you to each other" "It was no big deal" "I'm here for you" "Anytime?"

They left when I handed over my assignment to the Professor and she said "Wow... You're quite good in this language" and I smiled and left the room. "I'm not good at it, it's just my mother tongue, I'm good at nothing." "It's just because I've read quite a few books in that language." "I've written some poems that don't rhyme in that language"

A friend in class asked me "What rhymes with, 'First'?" "Coerced" I answered a second later. She jotted it down and said "How do you remember these things, it's out of my mind" and I just shrugged because there were no words left inside of me. "I've spent 17 minutes thinking about that a day before yesterday, that's how my dumb brain remembers that"

The other day during a conversation, a person asked me "How do you remember all these conversations, I forget them the second I move on to the next one" and I just sat and stared at the floor with a head filled with anything but proper words. "You'll remember them too, if you were like me." "I only remember the ones in which I don't get the chance to speak, because when you don't get to speak you listen, intently" "I only remember the ones in which I get to say something, because there's only a few of them"

They left, when Mother asked me "What's wrong?" on our way home from the doctor's office. And came rushing back when I was alone in my room again. "Everything?" "Things happening in my life?" "Things I'm doing in my life?" "Me?"

A stranger read a piece I wrote and said "You're good with words, like really really good" and they left. "No, I'm not good enough to make them express what I really feel, to make them save me from hearing the sound of silence, to make them free me from my imprisoning anxiety, to make them stay inside of me"

~ms.anonymous

{Excerpt from the diary/ I can't read without crying}

[svitkonna]

Okay, here’s the thing: the show really REALLY did the Combe Carey plotline dirty

In the books, the Combe Carey Hall case sets up so much about Lockwood’s character. BECAUSE Fairfax seeks them out and not the other way around, it makes him suspicious to Lockwood, and from there Lockwood is able to set up so many other clever things. From doing research on Fairfax, to pre-re-con on the hall, to bribing the cab driver to call Barnes. In the book, it’s not just a haunting they run blindly through, but one that Lockwood is well prepared for and well prepared to be sabotaged during.

If Lockwood doesn’t know who Fairfax is until halfway through the haunting (as it is in the show) it makes him look like a bad leader who walked his friends into danger without knowing the whole story. And it makes his being upset in the next episode about them not getting press from Combe Carey feel totally unjustified.

In the show, Lockwood barely did anything on that case. He just happened to be the victim of an attempted murder plot and just happened to survive.

In the books, this case shows how clever he is and makes it clear what his strengths are. In the books it’s clear that Lockwood and Co as a whole has a great team with amazing skills individually who haven’t hit their stride yet.

In the show, it just seems like Lockwood is an egomaniac who can’t acknowledge that his agency is not as great as he thinks it is, and that neither Lucy or George really have all that much faith in him.

Anyway, I knew the show was going to have to cut and change things for times-sake, but Lockwood is just about my favorite character in the book series, and he is MISSING the competence to back his bluster in this show. The reality is if he’s going to be that incompetent and that cocky about it, people who haven’t read the books are going to find him so unlikeable.

[svitkonna]

{Alice Oseman, Radio Silence/ Emily Palermo, from Untitled/ Franz Kafka, from Diaries/ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar/ Marya Hornbacher, Waiting/ Nikos Kazantzakis, from a letter to Galatea Kazantzaki wr. c. May 1922/ Mahmoud Darwish/ Anna Akhmatova, from The Complete Poems of Anna Akhmatova; "The Old Portrait"/ Lyric Hunter, from "A Garden," Swallower/ Albert Camus/ Varsha/ Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Meek One}

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i think waiting together is a love language. wait for the train with me, so we can talk a little longer. wait for dinner with me, we can slow dance in the kitchen. wait for me until i can talk after crying my eyes out, hold me, we will figure it out. wait for me when it gets rough, i know i can get through this (with you). wait for me in the car, this song is too good to not finish listening to it. wait for the first snow with me, cold red noses and bright eyes. lets wait for each other, i love you.

[svitkonna]

“he’s a murderer” to YOU. well to me too but i forgive him<3

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*stumbles out of a building covered in blood* i failed a social interaction .

[svitkonna]

hm. i think every time i feel an impulse to people please, to be unproblematic and likable and charming and feel the safety that comes with universal adoration, i need to remind myself that i want to be loved like a person, not like a dog.

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first of all I don’t “waste” time on stupid things I spend time on stupid things there’s a difference

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Anti-revenge narrative this, anti-revenge narrative that, I personally think that Inigo Montoya had the right idea when he stabbed Count Rugen in the gut and said “I want my father back, you son of a bitch”

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"People are staring," hero muttered under their breath.

"Good," Villain purred in reply, "art is made to be seen,"

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When life gives you lemons be like “wow this fic is really old”

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'oh vampires cant walk into peoples houses without being invited' well neither can I. its rude

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Team 10 Is Feral™ And I Am Going To Tell You Why

As previously established (maybe, offhandedly) I believe that Team 10 is Feral™. So, a comprehensive list of the bullshit that Asuma encouraged and Konohagakure cried over because the Yamanaka Clan is the Worst Thing In The World™. It is not alphabetical, chronological, or organized in any shape or form.

Yamanaka Inomako blew up part of the Land of Earth during the 1st Shinobi World War and now the Yamanakas are forbidden to enter the Land of Earth without a number of ridiculous filing and things so Konoha generally just doesn’t formally send them there anymore.

This does not stop Ino as she went in and blew Iwagakure’s noble district to smithereens when she was 14.

Shikamaru figured out how to use his shadows to stab people. This has never been done before but he was bored and Ino is a chaotic gremlin.

Choji ripped a head off of a beast in the Forest of Death when they were 12. This is why they looked so beat up. They had to scrub all the blood out of their clothes and some of that stuff was acidic.

While Shikamaru has yet to beat Shikaku in a game of Shogi, Shikaku refuses to formally spar with him because Shikamaru taught his shadows to hold a knife and you don’t see it until it’s at your neck.

Inoichi actively encourages Ino to poison random ninjas. She has managed to stab every jounin sensei at least once (Kakashi she actively stabs randomly. He has the highest at 24 poisons). Asuma laughs every time that they show up at the flower shop and have to chug some nasty tasting antidote.

Choji is the only one who can stomach Sakura’s chakra, restoring medical balls. He actively hoards them and just eats them whenever he’s hungry.

When they were 15 (and chunin), they accidentally killed a god. They had to run because they had to do something else but they kept forgetting to grab it.

Ino learned how to rip heads off of people from watching Choji do it to a squirrel.

Shikamaru once slit his own thighs to get enough blood for Choji to do a blood seal. This horrified Team 8 the first time they watched this happen but for Team 10 it’s all routine.

Ino commits war crimes in other countries and then proceeds to forget to tell Tsunade because it wasn’t relevant to the mission she was originally assigned. Shikamaru usually has to inform her the next day because Ino regalled him and Choji with stories of her side quest and then Tsunade has to try and track Ino down but fails because Ino is in the Yamanaka Clan Post-Mission Coma.

Choji accidentally causes a hurricane in the Land of Water because Shikamaru bet him he couldn’t use Water Style but the only one any of them knew was Water Style: Unholy Storm so Choji did that and caused a hurricane. They still laugh about this.

While Ino is technically a ‘support ninja’ the Yamanaka Clan is a well known Fire Style Clan. While not like the Uchiha, Yamanakas are known in the Land of Earth as The Clan of Fire. Iwagakure nin flat out refused to work with Yamanakas.

Itachi met with the three once because he worked with Ino’s mother. He avoids all three like the plague because Ino was showing them how to cause a fire with a magnifying glass.

In another post, I said that Choji is the Team Mom. He always has food. The Akimichi clan (headcanon) is in charge of the Fuinjutsu department. Ergo, Choji constantly has a fully prepared meal at All Times™. He makes sure Shikamaru and Ino actually eat throughout the day.

That being said, once another person comes along, he’s just as feral as Shikamaru and Ino. He is willing to rip heads off shoulders, eat carrion and body slam enemies.

During the Asuma Revenge Mission, they were almost perfect Shinobi. Kakashi was fucking stressed the entire time because Ino didn’t try to poison him once, Shikamaru’s shadow had more knives that Kakashi had ever owned, and Choji briefly disappeared only to return with a fucking emu.

Taka was stressed during the war when they were babysitting Team 10.

The one time that Madara attacked Taka instead of Team 10, Team 10 went entirely feral. Shikamaru flung Choji who planted Shadow Aids (a bunch of metal rods at such an angle that they have a shadow), Ino connected the entire shinobi alliance so thoroughly that she became every single Shinobi in the Alliance and controlled them (without their consent) into Monsters™ and rip into the Akatsuki’s forces.

It was terrifying.

Tsunade still can’t look at Ino without feeling the Red Hot Rage that nearly cooked her from the Inside out.

Taka belongs to Team 10 and Team 10 is Feral™ and therefore more animalistic than Team 8.

Shikamaru bet Ino that she couldn’t take control of all of Konohagakure. Not only did Ino do it, she held all of it and made everyone never notice it. Shikamaru and Choji were the exceptions as they both needed to judge if she wins or Shikamaru does.

As a general rule of thumb, if someone bets Team 10 anything, they will do everything in their power to win that bet. This generally becomes the fact that they will always win the bet and the one who bet them will lose.

The reason Shikamaru developed new techniques for the Shadow Style is by bets between him and Ino. Choji tries to avoid betting things because he’s the Responsible One™.

Ino bet Choji that he couldn’t rip a head off of a beast and he then ripped one off a giant centipede in the Forest of Death while Ino and Shikamaru watched.

They applauded him accordingly.

Asuma is Stressed with the children. Mostly because every month they come up to him with a new technique of they’re already established Safe and Well Tested Jutsus That Do Not Cause Problems Later In Life and they’re techniques are Not Safe At All And Can Only Be Performed By Their Respective Clans.

Ino went and joined Orochimaru on a dare. She found some stuff and then proceeded to return to Konoha and it was never brought up again.

Ino infiltrated the Akatsuki out of boredom on another mission. Found more stuff, played a game of shogi with Uchiha Itachi and had a phenomenal conversation about guilt, talked with Konan for an hour and then left.

Yamato was paired with Choji for a mission. He spent most of it asking ‘What the fuck, Akimichi?’, ‘how did you get in there?’, ‘What do you mean that was Yamanaka Ino and Nara Shikamaru? They’re still in the village!’

It was very stressful for him. He loved Team 7 after that.

Ino once romanced Sasuke and then left. She told Shikamaru and Choji and they all laughed, but Tsunade was not very happy five years later when she finally heard the story from Sasuke after he was drunk and he, Ino, and Sai were in a polyamorous relationship.

The one person Team 10 refuse to go near is Team Gai because Ino poisoned Gai once and he immediately sweated it out. Team 10 fears Might Gai.

Anyways, Team 10 is Feral™ and does not care for those who are Not Theirs and has no problems ripping heads off shoulders. All the Jonin senseis are stressed, Kakashi the most, Gai the least because he doesn’t understand.

[svitkonna]

Jang Uk's character is so compelling to me. He isn't evil but he isn't innocent either. He's shrewd, calculating and street smart. He's loyal but to people, not ideals. He constantly stands up for himself. He's self-centered without being selfish (they are two different things btw). He holds no grudges. He loses motivation easily but somehow manages to be extremely stubborn as well. He's heroic but craves absolutely none of the glory that comes with being a hero. He's literally just a nerd who wants to keep bettering himself as a mage. If the show was set in the real world he would be an academic pursuing his PhD but his thesis statement would have been rejected by all known scientists in his fields until one evil scientist (Naksu) takes him under his wing.

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‘unreliable narrator’ but it’s ’narrator is deeply in love with the person they are narrating’

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Our beloved summer feels very Shikaino if you know what I mean lol