sysig

[sysig]

The most fun you can have, barring the pain and torture (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Teisel #Max Vyer #Zack Fair #Vlad Masters #Weird fun fact??? The last time I posted Vlad was also in the same set as ZEX so uh????? Lol #I could not have possibly planned that so please just enjoy the serendipity - I certainly am lol #Anyway <3 Mostly leftover doodles for now! There's still more especially planned/in my notes but we're at a lull #And it's time for some silliness! :D Love silliness! #Starting with a very cute tiny ZEX ??ing at slippers - he really didn't wear footwear much - or at least it wasn't mentioned so lol #Max has barefoot energy too it's fine lol #And ZEX only wears shoes in his VUX form sometimes! Surely it's just as unnecessary for humans! Hehe #After I doodled him holding a pencil like half-properly I realized oh yeah - he wouldn't do that unless directed would he haha #Much more natural to curl - or at least as close as possible with fingers - around his writing implement :D #I do wonder what he'd think of human calligraphy brushes hmm - more natural? Less? He'd certainly enjoy watching but when doesn't he <3 #Oh I loved him sitting and enjoying the rain ♥ Reminded me of Gaster :D Though this came well-first hehe <3 #Just a very pleasant detail - amphibious lad loving precipitation hehe #Another simple one of hanging out with Teisel ugh he kicked his legs in the absence of his tail he's so cute weh ;;♥ #Hey Max is actually here for a change!! I want to give him more attention he deserves it - especially with everyone being so mean to him :') #He just wants friends! He's barely here be nice to him while he is! At least Peter was nice to him haha #You only think he's creepy because you think he's fake and ZEX is real - they're both real don't be mean #Max's clinginess is so sad here haha :') Protect him pls <3 #I love ZEX's asides with Vlad lol ♪ Man I really haven't drawn him in ages too long! #Okay but the image of ZEX in a nurse costume? Amazing he'd rock it - Max even moreso since he'd understand the context <3 #Get this man in a skirt and heels stat he'll look So pretty ♫

[sysig]

Looking his very best, as much as he can anyhow (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #The Captain #The theme of this set is ZEX's hair! So I guess Max's hair really lol #But double really it's ZEX's hair because Max would never let this happen to his hair lol poor abused hair haha #Cute floofy ZEX is cute and floofy <3 #He can't control the hair - no hair bones here unfortunately lol - but at least there's something around his head eh? #Max with a buzz cut! Ah!!! The problem is I love him no matter what so I think he looks cute literally anyhow haha #S'cold! As if ZEX wasn't already sensitive haha - he gets a buzz cut and is just ''?????'' the whole time #And then someone pets his hair and it upgrades to ''?!?!?!?!?!'' haha #Weird to not have anything in his peripherals too :0 Always /some/thing to the sides of his head! #I think he looks quite silly in the third one lol - I would say I drew his hair too short but it's actually more accurate isn't it #Max's hair is like chin/shoulder-length! I just can't help myself haha long flowing hair is so fun and pretty <3 #No he's beautiful however I stand by it #ZEX with slightly damp but not actually clean hair haha of course it feels strange! Not just water in there! #Actually drawing his green ends for a change haha ♪ And the grey in his hair! ;; ZEEEX weh #You can just barely see I tried to use one of my skin-tone pencils from the Crayola set but it doesn't scan the best :P #Or apply the best honestly lol they're quite hard pencils - I'm used to a softer formula like the yellow and green there! Very soft and nice #Yaaay Captain hehe <3 This is what you get for trusting someone untrustworthy ZEX lol #Okay but the way I reacted to reading there was Yarn tied in his hair I had a Normal reaction and I'm Fine about it lol #I made it red for Funsies and no other reason lol - really it's just the pen I (still) always have on hand haha #There's some in my blue as well! Just not as obviously lol - no wait that's one of his colours too just ignore that <3 #ZEX is adorable ♪ The alien not understanding human traditions and culture trope is so lovely on him #And honestly the Captain is a very good sport hehe <3 He takes a lot in stride! Good for him

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thursday:

2:30 PM: Sona reacts to Eclipse

Friday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Saturday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix/SCII

Sunday:

2:30 PM: Just Desserts - Charm Myr (vent?)

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

#Weekly TV Guide #This - if you can believe it lol - is Helix doodles coming to a decrescendo #Will there be another crescendo? If I can help it there will be :3c #Sunday's is your first little peak into the break <3 But we'll get there when we get there! #I am so excited for Saturday's you don't understand - it looks like just another redundant crossover yeah? It's so much more <3 #Oh yeah and there'll be a slight dip in quality for a couple of these lol I was away from my usual drawing tools for Just long enough #Just had to get inspired in that moment! Pfft #Don't worry about the vent - I talk about it in the post itself as well but I only finished an idea from a while ago it's fine haha #I'm glad it's done! It was really holding back finishing that page sheesh #Currently only have one active page in my main notebook - it's pretty nice! #Gonna add another soon enough tho lol #Fun fun

[sysig]

Oh he is So baby (Patreon)

#Doodles #Helix #SCII #Max Vyer #Teen Max ;; *gently holds* #Like I didn't love him already his teen phase was This Cute??? Stoppp #I am once again relating way too hard to Max lol - it looks? like he's wearing dark eyeliner to me #There's no way he actually has eye bags that dark as a 16 year old right am I just protecting my feelings towards wanting him to be okay :'D #He started drinking before he was 21 but when did he start some of the harder stuff - was him getting on the roof a teen or drug thing #Worried about you Max #Well anyway I choose to believe it's eyeliner lol <3 Which is extremely cute <3 #There's something so double-funny to me about having drawn him all cutesy as a baby y'know - cherubic! Adorable blond baby! #And then his emo/grunge/punk phase as a teen but he keeps his blond hair because of his vanity hehehehe I love him!!! So much!! #He's so adorable <3 #Anyway yeah I had a dark eyeliner phase as a teen also lol except mine was Classique Fandom Cringe™ ♥ #I'd draw the YGO Eye of Ra with my eye acting as the main part of the eye lol teens are goofy like that #Very measured of him to just darken his lower lid really ♪ #The collar and the cuffs too I just jdksfladf I can't think of it as anything but extremely cute lol I'm so endeared <3 <3 #He's such a brat I love him so much #I talked about how his parents would've still been awful even if he had A Diagnosis but honestly he probably would've been too <3 #Not a get-out-of-jail-free card Max! #I - a Max apologist - say lol

[sysig]

Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)

#Doodles #I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really! #Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me #Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah #Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫ #Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft #I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!! #The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪ #Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year #There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written! #These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe #I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft #Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol #As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol #Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫ #Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors #Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general #That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :( #So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3 #And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah #Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh #Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3

[sysig]

Do I know you? (Patreon)

He kept his head down on his desk.

His Admiral was gone. He'd seen him, body then voice swallowed up into that endless fog and no matter how much he cut through it with these rigid, useless arms, he could not find him again. He hadn't answered his message on the board, and no one had seen him at breakfast.

Of course they hadn't. He was gone.

"Mr. Favin?" The nurse gently laid a hand on his shoulder, and nothing moved him. "You have a visitor." He didn't move, didn't open his eyes, unimportant, nothing, nothing, nothing. "He's already waiting for you in the lobby."

"Who?" Weakly. If he could just refute her - no doubt this would be someone from "Dexter's" life, unrelated to him, easily ignored in the face of spiralling around his Admiral's loss-

"It's Mr. Vyer. Max Vyer?" He started at the name. The simple name written in ZEX's file, easily recognizable to both of them, familiar VUX structure-

He lifted his head, desperation obvious on his face, though he wouldn't know it.

He let himself be led to the lobby, and true to her word, Max was there, though he looked almost unrecognizable from his Admiral - to begin with, he had two eyes, no scars, and held himself nervously, eyes - multiple - looking around at the others gathered in the lobby. He had seen ZEX's empty eye socket, had felt the stitches in his skin - there was no explanation for why he should be whole again.

Finally, his gaze settled on DAX and he looked relieved and came over to him gratefully, though DAX backed up slightly at his approach.

This was "Max." Not ZEX. That much was obvious.

"Dex-" relief awash in his voice, which DAX twitched at. He sounded like ZEX in some ways, but dissimilar in others. If he hadn't heard this voice for so long, so much of his life, he would have disregarded it outright. As it was, it stayed him, froze him in place. "How are you? Are you...still DAX?"

DAX fell into an at-ease stance, arms folded behind his back. "Yes, sir." Max sighed, sounding disappointed, though DAX couldn't be sure.

"Oh." That was fairly clear at least. "I'm...sorry." He pulled a hand through his hair, the same side that his scar should be on and yet... "This is all my fault, isn't it? I..." He shook his head, DAX again twitching at the action, slightly disturbed. "I hoped that since I got better, that you..."

DAX saw no need to contribute to this. He just watched, looking for any sign that ZEX was in there at all, that this was another trick and his Admiral would soon be returned to him. Max looked at him, eyes wide and sad - unlike ZEX, and therefore unimportant. Easily ignored.

"I...I miss you, I want you to come home...Even mom misses you," with a kind of sad laugh, his voice strained. "It's not the same without you there, everything's still all..." He trailed off with a vague noise, his eyes slipping from DAX's.

Anything, any sign, any action that would indicate that ZEX was still somewhere in there, anything-

"Do you miss me, Dex?" Almost startled by the prompt, his focus on everything but the conversation so intense. He refocused a moment, his mouth opening without thought.

"I do, sir," said before he could stop himself - though he hadn't meant it for Max exactly. Maybe ZEX would be able to hear it through him, somehow... Max laughed sadly again, moving just a bit closer.

"Do you really? I hoped that we'd get out of here together, I thought we could face anything together - it's so hard without you there to help me, and I don't know how to help you here." He reached for his arm, DAX still an unmoving wall. "I...I really can't do this without you, Dex, please-"

"You're perfectly fine without me, sir." ZEX had always been strong. While DAX had made himself useful, at the end of the day, everyone was expendable. Surely Max felt the same.

"Dex..." Tears lined the corners of his eyes, and he quickly scrubbed them away. He made an inarticulate, angry noise, eyes burning into the chairs to DAX's back. "This isn't fair!" His outburst was sudden, though not wholly unfamiliar - in his more vulnerable moments, even his Admiral had taken to bouts of frustration at his circumstances. "I was the one who messed up and thought I was ZEX-" a twitch, "and now you're the one stuck here, when-" He turned to him, his eyes wide and watery, pleading. "When I need you, I need you, Dex, and you're not there-"

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #DAX #Max Vyer #No I wouldn't do that to DAX <lying through my teeth #I was deeply inspired by the thought of DAX and Max interacting but in a situation where DAX has no power over him #Sure he's not ZEX - and DAX isn't easily swayed by anything - but catching him in a vulnerable moment? Where he wants ZEX back? #And Max isn't ZEX but he has his voice and he's begging - pleading with him to do the one thing DAX is ready to throw his life away for #Well. I just think it's interesting to see where his limits are ♪ #As if the mini fic under the cut wasn't enough of an indication of Just How Much I wanted to think about it lol #There are little differences that I like better from one to the other - like of the nurse hanging back and not touching him #I do like how invasive and icky it is how the staff just completely ignore everyone's boundaries I think it's really strong characterization #But more than that I like DAX shivering and then forcing calm into himself as soon as he's aware of someone nearby #Cannot show vulnerability! #There's also something good and spooky as well as comforting (maybe just to me haha) of Max being himself and whole again <3 #I'd say it's pretty well established that the Institute is capable of some...really weird stuff lol #I totally think they'd be able to reverse the surgery as well as restore Max to himself - if anywhere could I mean Max even wakes up there! #Twice! Once experimentally but hey! That's something that can just Happen! #Just don't think about how once Dexter takes ZEX out he effectively cuts off his only avenue of getting Max back I certainly don't ;; #I just really like the idea that the stakes Do Matter that you can't just Undo something - unless undoing it will hurt worse :) #Like Zelnick coming back! There's precedent! #It's also just a small detail drawn here but I love how Max stims with his fingers <3 <3 #I know it's just in counterpoint to ZEX's inability to move his fingers but I love it!! #Same with eye contact! Max has difficulty keeping eye contact where ZEX makes too much! #I love them <3 <3

[sysig]

I hope you blink before I do (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #DAX #Blood #Fuck you *reinjects romance into your song about love-lost* #It's the ''I want to be the one to lay you to rest'' of it all #Or if not that then at least to be the last one suffering #See him off - make sure he goes knowing that he's not alone #I'm Fine just Don't Look at me and I'll Be Fine #Schrödinger's Fine lol - I am simultaneously Fine and Not Fine until I am observed #I simply subsist largely off of angst and then whatever small scrap of comfort that can be coaxed from there hehe #I am very mean to them considering how much I want them to be happy lol #Honestly I think what would be meaner is seeing ZEX off and then somehow DAX survives alone #Night ends just as he's about to blink out and oops you're still stuck here sorry about that <3 #But I wouldn't do that to them would I? #:3c #I also think it's interesting that I started doodling this before I actually read ZEX's death - I finished it after but still! #Does he just give off gutted vibes? Canonically he's eviscerated so #And not just in the eye way - in this case it's enucleation #Did you come here for eye removal surgery puns? I don't see why you'd expect anything different *b'dm tss* #I've done way more research on eye removal than I ever expected to but now those two terms will be forever seared into my mind haha #Hhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I'll talk about it more with its accompanying doodle but really 💔 #I wanted an honourable death for him - and if not that then a death where he wasn't alone - and if not that then to rest #He got one of the three ;;

[sysig]

Last man standing (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #It's lonely at the top :( #Poor dearest is worse for wear ah </3 #This scene made me cry ;; #Like it was sad when he wrote down his missing canonmates but going back in and writing everyone else's names ;;;; #Even his shaky alliances! Even the people he hasn't seen for a while!! Wehhh <3 <3 <3 #You soft heart ;; I see you Admiral ♥ #Also had a lot of fun writing in VUK ZIX again hehe ♪ #The translations from VUK ZIX to English aren't exact - for starters they're upside down haha #So if you started from the top down it would actually read KINLEZ NATPAK but I figured that wouldn't be as readable #You read from the bottom up! I also still headcanon it being written/read from left to right #So he started with Zelnick then Fwiffo then Tanaka and so on #Although I did change it up for the second one - Teisel then Xelloss then Xigbar then Asch and Van #The more I think of it the more I'm surprised there's no H :0 #Even just as a demarcation of a pause before during or after a syllable #The ''sh'' sound makes complete sense tho hehe <3 #Any incorrect shaping of letters/poor handwriting on my part can totally be chalked up to ZEX not being used to human hands! #Totallyyy lol #I really like the way specific syllables are shaped - like how Teisel and Zelnick almost share the same shaped between ''SEL'' and ''ZEL'' #How Z is a more connected extension of S just agh it's so pretty <3 <3 Eco_Mono really did such a lovely job with it ♪ #And then certain ''incorrectly'' spelled syllables still turned out so pretty! Like the ''ANA'' in Talana - look how swoopy and continuous! #The ''BAR'' in Xigbar looks really cool - honestly reminds me of the fanweapons I made ages ago for I? think? Xigbar's apprentice?? #It's been too long I don't remember now lol but it's cool to me in particular because of that!! :D #Fwiffo looks so funny haha - Tanaka has a cool star-like kind of letter in his name?? Man it's just so neat <3 #As for ZEX - I mean he made it this far :( Not one to give up easily that's for certain ♥ Tenacious #I want him to be happy :'0

[sysig]

Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #Just a bit but y'know - Enough #It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D: #Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!! #And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;; #Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement #At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it! #He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh #He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would! #One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite #But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side! #They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me! #I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way #I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D #That tracks hehe ♫ #Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was #He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!! #So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3 #It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware #It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪ #Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe #Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph #It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines #I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol #So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥ #The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪

[sysig]

Incomplete exchange (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #Max Vyer #DAX #*throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws #So Max and ZEX changing places - what if that but This lol #It would also be funny to watch Max stumble around in ZEX's body lol but considering ''how'' ZEX got isekai'd... #Not much left probably :| Dark #Really I'm just fascinated by throwing the almost-dynamics into relief hehehe - DAX and Dex so similar! And Max and ZEX similar in some ways #How would DAX react to Max :3c How would Max react to DAX! One of them knows the other - at least at arm's length - but not the other! #Seeing a VUX ''in person'' would probably be a whole other feeling as well haha - there's a familiarity when he's inhabiting ZEX's POV #Still thinks he's dreaming because I mean - would the reality be any easier to swallow? No lol #I guess this would be a scenario before ZEX dies since y'know - DAX is here haha - unless this is some afterlife something??? #Both Max and DAX /would/ be dead in that scenario - or would they?? Haha the grey area is the funnest to play in <3 #I think it'd be very interesting on DAX's end as well - obviously Max is very different from ZEX but if the language thing works both ways #VUX already have the translators of course but like - Max speaks very differently from ZEX he formulates his sentences very specifically #But if the way he attacks the words the way his accent moves the sounds around - if he speaks like ZEX but not /like/ him - s'interesting! #Would probably confuse the heck out of DAX haha he knows that voice very well! #By the transitive property would that make their accent space New Jersey? No that's too silly haha #I really love Max just dropping years and events out of the blue haha - very important! Written down! Kept track of! #A lot of things he doesn't pay much attention to but he's very careful with his dream data I'm love him <3 #I also had So much fun drawing his hands here hehe ♪ His hand expressions have quickly risen to being my favourite :D #ZEX doesn't express with his hands! Which means it's a Max-specific type of thing in his body! #Tells <3

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix/SCII

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix (blood warning)

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thursday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix (blood warning)

Friday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Saturday:

2:30 PM: Sona reacts to reading

Sunday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

#Weekly TV Guide #I mean - did you really expect me to come back with anything different lol #I wasn't away doing anything else not really I just had so much I couldn't keep up with it all lol #Good to be back! :D The week away was nice - very nice in fact! - but I'm happy to have my Weekly TV Guide again hehe #The brainrot will in fact be continuing lol even upon typing these I'm still having New Ideas not just trying to finish old ones :) #If Monday's seems redundant - you'll see :) #Oh yeah and the blood :0 Tuesday's isn't too bad but as always make sure you've got your blacklist up to date :) #Thursday's is a little more haha - nothing graphic but More #I have actually been trying to draw other things - I've got another inspiration source that I beat off with a stick recently in fact #I'd like to get to it but When It's Time >:0 Interloper #Lol #Not so subtle aside but have you guys watched JelloApocalypse's In Stars and Time highlight vid? 👀 #Unrelated and for no particular reason lol #S'a bangin' OST too would recommend #M'kay anyway <3 <3 <3

[sysig]

You learn to live with it, learn to love it if you can (Patreon)

#Taking the opportunity to self-reblog for the first time in ???? #To advertise a Helix fic I put up on my DW that might be related to this somehow 👀 #So check that out if you're interested lol #If not I'll be (hopefully) posting it to AO3 in ???? #Wanna finish the first one first lol this one's a sequel but it was shorter to write so! #Soon tho - hopefully soon #:3c #Helix #Also I still kinda wanna draw ZEX's outfit in colour and walk back his earrings because he's Definitely afraid of needles by now lol #Clip-ons? Clip-ons #Gotta have the sparklies

[sysig]

I fell behind on tags lol, Weekly TV Guide will be back next week ♥

#Not-Weekly TV Guide lol #The doodles are there! The rest... #I've been leaving doodles half-finished as well agh - want to finish them all up! #Distractions distractions distractions haha #It'll be nice to have a breather to finish things up in the background anyhow ♪ #S'been since November that I took a week off! Earned I'd say haha

[sysig]

Please, do not be frightened (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #DAX #ZEX #I need someone to touch ZEX gently Right Now or I'll cry ;; #Just kidding I'll cry if it happens too lol #I guess Bones technically did check him over and treated him quite gently - I cried at that scene so that tracks haha #Really that was more the quiet rage that Bones felt on ZEX's behalf hh <3 #Continually continually impressed by everyone's writing ahh! So moving <3 #Anyhow - skipping to the next night after ZEX's ''surgery'' which actually that implies bad things for DAX uhhhh #Just to avoid meeting with Max - yet - since he woke up right after this #Spoilers! As if more than like two people know what I'm even talking about lol #Although there's also the thought of both Max and Dex ''waking up'' at the same time hgh #One last little glance at each other from beyond the veil before they slip away again #I feel Normal about them I Swear #I've been thinking about ZEX's greeting and him just barely able to keep from capping it off with his usual comfort #VUX are scary! And Max very much is not haha he is cute and unintimidating and ZEX can get away with an awful lot in his body #Firstly he just blends in which is new to him! He can get close and snuggly and not really be taken very seriously #He's pretty! He's slight and cute and just not very threatening-looking! Even the more tired he gets - the older he appears - still small #That changes a bit after his eye is removed and he's visibly scarred - people look at him differently #Still pitiful - kicked puppy a bit haha Max will always cut something of a pathetic figure <3 #But I do think it's an interesting intersection of fear - intimidation? Discomfort? Concern? #He's not being viewed as a VUX still but there's Something Other about him at a glance not just when you approach him #DAX of course is just worried :( He'd do anything to protect his Admiral! #Impotence on both sides - one of protecting himself and the other of protecting someone he cares about so much! Weh #Also do you like DAX's hair getting messy hehe ♪ Hair is so confusing! Hard to take care of! #Poor both of them :( I'm considering DAX sleeping in as non-canon because if ZEX started to suspect after watching Zelnick do the same ahhh #I mean more non-canon than him being there at all anyway haha #It's too sad! He needs hugs that's what he needs

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0 #Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread #Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers #Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha #The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax! #Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!! #It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!! #Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u; #Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to - #Until it comes to his eye #Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/ #It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh #For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear #It's so sad ;; And so well done <3 #And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl #Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :') #Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it #Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone? #''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really #Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔 #That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :) #I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol) #I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers! #Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally #Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose

[sysig]

See you everywhere, now that you’re gone (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Dexter Favin #Ft. Wally West and Xigbar again - they're good to him <3 #Hhhh ;; The sads :'0 #ZEX never got to fully show off his uniform ;; #I was so hoping for that! He deserves to show off and feel nice and be praised </3 #At least he'd surrounded himself with good people - the dynamics around which are also interesting #Wally lovely <3 He's so sweet honestly just wants to offer a shoulder if he's able any small bit of comfort #He's injured and he's still trying to hug ZEX weh ;; Any bit of solace ♥ #Xigbar's way of cheering him up is his own kind of misplaced sweetness haha I love the care put into everyone's quirks <3 #Ugh the whole thing of Nobodies trying to (and failing to! To varying degrees) convince themselves that they don't have emotions #Clearly Xig is unbothered by this so it's better to just flirt and not worry about it! It's a shame but it happens to everyone #I see you Xigbar #Really tho him being a bit flippant and silly and tactile with ZEX did seem to help haha #''Let me comfort you'' pfft - sad silliness hehe #And then Dexter showed up!! I was so unprepared for that!! #Honestly I only expected him to come visit The One Time so I was so not ready for him to be here after All This #He made ZEX cry last time and this time he came to it already crying ;; #Ughhughgh ZEX's unshakable trust for DAX - even just his voice - being the breaking point of his self control I jfdlksahfds #Someone he can be weak in front of since he doesn't want to be seen by anyone that way - only to DAX ;;;; #Offering any bit of familiarity as comfort weh I'm fine this is fine ;; #Poor ZEX :( Being so powerless and helpless in this situation is so sad!! At least when he was in the War he was in control to an extent #He only touched his cheek with his uniform later that night which I do honestly love the imagery of soft and tender <3 #I like drawing people holding things fully to their face more than I remembered haha #And then the fact that his roommate changed the same night and it was /Kirk/ of all people fjdslahfdsfd wehhhhh 😭 #Kirk is genuinely the sweetest to him he is absolutely best boy but to have a Captain after all that ;;;; #It cuts so deeply ironic oww <3 <3

[sysig]

Homesick (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #DAX #Hhgghghhhh ;;;; ♥ #Have I mentioned I love them lately #ZEX recognizing DAX's voice in Dexter is /so/ good ugh #For so many reasons! The implicit trust! How Dexter is able to manipulate him even unwittingly just how much of an effect he can have! #But also of being able to be honest with him in a way that he won't let himself be with other humans because well they're human #ZEX is terrible in many ways that I love him for deeply <3 His biases let him self-sabotage so easily haha #He has so much to unlearn from VUX propaganda even being as open-minded as he is! Well also in part Because of his open-mindedness lol #Fetishism rather ♪ Seeing humans as a monolith and getting so hopelessly swept up in his attraction across the board #He's a complex individual with a long history rooted in what and who he is! I like him very very much! #His biases cut both ways of course - since Dex has a familiar voice he of course must be a VUX! And here he could be ;; #Someone who just by the nature of his familiarity is safe but to actually listen to and validate him ugh ;;♥ #The thing that kills me the absolute most is that Dexter /could/ give this to him - but won't #He has his voice his cadence his accent his way of speaking - and yet #At least if DAX was actually here he could offload some of his emotions properly rather than bottling everything up #ZEX keeps a lot of things to himself :( Like he can't bear to burden anyone else with them - or else his pride gets in the way haha #He's so condescending towards humans to his own detriment <3 #At least if he had DAX he'd have more-or-less an equal - someone he could share his pain with ;; #As well as the comfort of validation and something - anything - to keep him grounded and tethered to his life #Comfort is just as precious a commodity as information - allies - weapons - supplies! It's all about balance <3