tadpal

[tadpal]

🥀🌿✨

hello isabell!! have i told u that i love your pfp i love to see it it makes me giggle

🥀 what keeps you motivated/helps boost your mood when you’re feeling off?

motivation is a huge weakness for me! if i knew how to boost it i wouldnt be on this app but i have a laundry list miles long about mood boosting and emotional maintenance! ive been in and out of care for bpd and autism for the better part of 8 years now and while i can't rate the professional help (nhs mh 😬) i CAN say that i am currently doing super well in terms of stability. i think for me it's less about Feeling Better and more about breaking the bad you know? temperature shocks are a big thing for me, especially with my heavy emotional weights for temp, so it's a lot of uncomfortable showers, cooling towels on neck, cool water on feet and face, cat baths, hot water bottles, ice creams, going outside. just anything with that like Temperature Shock is going to help. for overwhelming most often going sudden cold (safely) is what works best for me!! resets!

🌿 do you like having plants in your home/yard? do you have any currently?

LOVE THEM!!! when i was living at uni i had 7-9 various houseplants in my room and others scattered in the kitchen halls and bathroom but these days most of them have been claimed by my mom! i have three in my room now! a large succulent a sort of grass and something tall with dark greens and waxy leaves... by those descriptions you can tell im terrible at remembering plant types but im surprisingly not terrible at keeping them alive. idk it mostly just works out

✨ what scents do you have strong memories/associations with?

the nice ones are like orange blossom (aunts perfume who passed, grandmother figure to me, scent never lasted bc of her work so you could only ever smell it if you hugged real tight, calloused hands, bristly hair, miss her ), ocean spray (lived by a beach, leaving the commune for outings, big bright blue, one day we'll get out of here, people on the outside are kind - the systemite kids are kind - i will be able to have friends on the outside, calm, loneliness, laughter), honeysuckle (represents childhood hunger and gentleness and peace and danger, the importance of ritual), lemon blossom (tree by the pool in one of the worst communes we lived in, best lemons ive ever tasted, my aunt maria taught me how to make soap), apple cider vinegar (self sufficiency - making meals for myself too young, fresh vegetables from the local farms, abuelas tomato salads, full stomachs)

but there's also more unpleasant ones just in terms of the scent itself: septic tank in the height of summer (danger, childhood recklessness, the feeling of being trapped, the buzz of the wasps,) the thing that died in the pool over winter (we didn't find it until we cleaned the pool in summer, it smelt mostly of chlorine, we don't know what animal it had been, it's bones were greyer than id expected, my mom cried for a week) and it's dry and the car is leaking (it's the middle of a drought and the old car is leaking, thick black oil onto the drive. there have been three bush fires this week and every time you haul your childhood possessions onto the year and watch the smoke. the smoke clings and clutches and you think about the oil. no one else can smell it but you. it's worse when the fires start when you're already out and you think about all the things that you left inside the home.) the smell of the old car in summer (and then you're inside the car, waiting at the gas station and all around you is the smell of smoke and gasoline and seaweed and leaking. the seat is somehow sticky and sandy all at once. your uncle is talking about leaving forever again.)

i am very much an associator tho you could say anything and id go Oh That Reminds Me. guy who is reminded

#ask tad

[tadpal]

literally crying

[tadpal]

The underside of a “weeping” fungus cap. Some tree-dwelling fungi secrete a liquid when they are growing, a process known by botanists as guttation, ridding themselves of excess liquid through their pores.  Photographed by Harvey Roberts

[tadpal]

the Columbia University arrests are worse than they seem. They're arresting protesting students for trespassing. It goes without saying students cannot meaningfully "trespass" in the common areas of a university they attend. So Columbia University has suspended all student protestors from their institution, in the process revoking their access to housing, their belonging, and most crucially damaging their academic futures. We are witnessing full scale silencing and removal of anyone of conscience from the next generation of academia.

[tadpal]

double wourm day yesterday. the mountain abounds with them

[tadpal]

[tadpal]

Jenny Anderson x Lily Gatins Distressed Sterling Silver Arrow Choker

[tadpal]

i want them to have a conversation

#prev the reason why i stopped watching Hannibal was bc at time of airing the only place i could watch it #was on the family pc in a room with window that shone directly onto the screen. and no blinds #and i just gave up

[tadpal]

#no #i dont like that its been put in a vial tbh. but id suck an open wound/artery #what if its cold 🤢

[tadpal]

They need to have Jensen do more of this!

On set for 1.7 - Hook Man

[tadpal]

Guy who fakes his death every time he gets mildly embarrassed about something he did

#how could you tag this me jester. (yeah its me)

[tadpal]

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

[tadpal]

Scottish artist Dorothy Carleton Smyth (1880-1933) design featuring King Arthur for a collection of poetry by Lord Alfred Tennyson

[tadpal]

The next Arthurian knight that refutes the misconception that every character in the Arthurian mythos had to be British or otherwise exclusively Western European.

Morien was a Knight of the Round Table whose life was narrated in the 13th century Arthurian poem “Moriaen,” written in the Middle Dutch. His father was the knight Aglovale, and his mother—a princess from a “Moorish” land. Just like the common imagery of Arthur’s court doesn’t have a strictly defined era or cultural affiliation (you’ll see hundreds of paintings of 6th century British knights wearing 17th century French armour), this image represents Morien as more of a legendary figure, combining regionally accurate elements in a bit of an anachronistic fashion. One of the first cultures to be referred to as Moors by the European Christians were the Maghrebine Berber people, giving some context to which region Morien's mother could be from. Amazigh-style weapons served as a basis for his weapons, while Tuareg dyeing techniques the design of his clothing. The description of his “Moorish” clothes and his armour as black as a raven reminds me of the beautiful indigo fabrics of the Tuareg people, which can appear to shine like raven feathers. His sword is barely visible, but it is based on the flyssa, an Amazigh traditional sword. He also holds an adarga, the Amazigh leather shield, which was actually so good at—well, being a shield—that it was adopted by many cultures of Europe because of its efficacy.

[tadpal]

modern(ish) day lady of shalott

[tadpal]

very interesting to think about how vane and silver are superficially alike, at least in that they are at first totally focused on the concerns of the present. but imo vane's focus is consistent with an ideological position whereas silver's is based on pure avoidance and survival. vane's approach to eleanor and flint's idealism (i.e., reinstate colonial rule but make it a bit more autonomous) makes it look like all he cares about is money but really its an expression of his ideology: he thinks dog eat dog is not only how the world in nassau works, but how it should work; such a world is far more just in his view when compared to one structured and run by england, because it doesn't involve him enslaving, deceiving, and robbing other men blind--it involves him looking a man in the eye and beating him "fairly."

obviously this ideology makes sense given his history and it works for him (even though it doesn't work for a lot of people in nassau--chief among them max) because it puts him on top as long as he can physically defend what is his and conquer what isn’t his. but compared to silver it also makes him more susceptible to political radicalization--to the idea that another way of being in the world is possible and necessary and worth it. i only wish they'd have him confront his own thinking at the level of ideology (instead of at the level of eleanor and teach) and develop more organically instead of his sacrifice for the revolution feeling like he got something of a personality transplant. like the end of season 2 is a great moment for him because you can see the cogs working in his head when he saves flint but they do little for him internally after that moment

[tadpal]

its so difficult to draw anatomy. and objects. and backgrounds. and clothing. and colors. and lighting. i honestly dont know how i ever managed to draw anything in my entire life