#!!!! AAAAAAAAH OK HERE'S SOFT DADS BUDDIE I HOPE YOU ENJOY!

[bibuddie]

your little hand's wrapped around my finger (it's so quiet in the world tonight)

summary: their family didn't come easy, but nothing worth having ever did.

(or 1.7k of soft baby girl dads!buddie)

tags: @moonlightbuckleys @oceansdiaz @no-moremusic @treacherousdiaz (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist!)

[also available on ao3]

eddie yawns softly, scratching the back of his head with his free hand as he balances the holder containing the sought after coffee in his other hand. the hospital is a different kind of quiet at 3am, the kind where the world just seems softer, more gentle. stepping into the elevator as the door slides open, eddie can’t help but bask in the stillness of the air around him, the tranquility as he sighs, tapping his foot anxiously as he watches the numbers on the elevator creep slowly up and up. the door lets out a ding and slides back open, eddie blinking heavily as he steps out into the cool air of the hospital corridor. bringing a fist up to rub at his eyes, he ambles down the corridor, the lilting tone of his husband murmuring sweetly guiding him.

pausing in the doorway of the room, eddie has to take a breath. he’s seen many sides of buck over the course of the time they’ve been together. he’s seen his protective side, shoving eddie out of the way in burning buildings and even carrying him last year when he broke his ankle (which was extremely mortifying but also very attractive?). he’s seen his nurturing side, in the way he patiently helps chris with his homework and takes him to physical therapy and builds a million and one lego towers with him just to let chris knock each and every one down. he’s seen his vulnerable side, held him while he’s cried over his parents and his childhood, reassured him that he’s nothing like they ever were to him. eddie thought he’d seen every side of buck, but clearly there was one he’d been missing out on.

he’s enthralled by the beauty of it all. buck’s shirtless, the moonlight dampened by the clouds streaking into the room and giving everything an ethereal glow. he’s pacing around, humming softly, and in his hands, in those big, gentle, loving hands of his, lies their daughter. their daughter. eddie’s still struggling to wrap his head around it, that this beautiful creation. this- this angel is theirs. and sure, eddie has loved chris his entire life, loves him with his whole being and more. but he couldn’t deny that seeing buck hold their daughter to his broad chest, cradling her so delicately made his heart sing. eddie’s about to step into the room, make his presence known, when he hears buck murmuring oh so sweetly to their little girl as she gurgles, and eddie strains to hear what buck’s saying.

“hi, my angel,” he begins, soothing a hand over the back of her head. “i- i’m your dad.” he whispers, like it’s a secret he can’t quite believe he gets to tell. “i’ve only known you for a few hours now, but i already love you more than i thought was possible. more than the moon loves the stars, more than your papa loves a beer on a sunday night - don’t tell him i told you that!” he chuckles quietly, pacing over to the window, looking out at the sky as he continues. “you know, your papa and i- we weren’t always…us. it took us a long while to get here, longer than it should’ve, to be honest, and we wasted so much time.” he sighs wistfully at that, remembering the beginnings of their burgeoning relationship after one too many close calls on the job. he turns and looks down at the beautiful baby in his arms, rocking her a little from side to side as she begins to fuss.

“once we got ourselves together, i have to tell you, angel, it was as easy as breathing. your big brother chris, he really bonded us, you know? i don’t know what we’d do without him, to be honest.” he laughs quietly at that, sitting in the rocking chair next to the window, swaying them backwards and forwards as he cuddles his daughter even closer, pressing his lips to her soft, fine hair. “when you meet chris, you’ll understand. he loves so fiercely, and i just know he’ll protect you with everything he has, just like me and just like your pa. when we found out we were going to meet you today, i started crying, because i was so so happy.” he clears his throat a little, and eddie swears he hears a crack in buck’s voice as he continues. “you are so, so loved by so many people, my love, and you have no idea yet. but,” and eddie definitely doesn’t miss the unmistakeable sheen of tears rolling down buck’s cheek this time, “i am going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how loved you are, baby girl. your pa and i love you endlessly and we always will.”

at this, eddie moved into the room quietly, placing the now lukewarm coffees onto the small side table quietly as he approached them. leaning slowly over the back of the chair, dusting a feather light touch over his husband’s shoulder so as to avoid startling him. buck inhales shakily, turning his head to the side with a wobbly smile on his lips. “hey you.” he whispers quietly, closing his eyes as eddie presses a comforting kiss to his cheek. “how much of that did you hear?”

eddie simply shrugs, reaching over to curl a small strand of her hair around his fingertips. “she’s going to be the most spoilt little girl in the entire world, that’s for sure.”

buck laughs quietly, the sound warming eddie from head to toe as their little girl stirs, her tiny hands curled up in fists against buck’s chest as she begins to whine. making a concerned noise, eddie steps around the chair, holding his hands out to buck. “here, give her to papa.”

snorting a little, buck stands carefully, placing his most delicate gift gently into eddie’s hands and oh eddie had forgotten how light babies were. he was suddenly terrified of dropping her, and buck must’ve seen something on his face because next thing eddie knew, he was being guided to sit in the chair buck had just vacated, his daughter using her small hands to cling to his shirt. he began to rock the chair back and forth as he hummed quietly to her, rubbing a hand delicately over her back as he began to talk.

“your dad’s not wrong, you know. we took so long to get here, longer than most i think. and now that we’re here, it’s almost unbelievable. some days, i feel like i’m going to wake up and it’s all going to be some big, elaborate dream i’ve been having.” eddie smiles softly at the feeling of buck’s hand landing in his hair, a soothing touch, an encouragement. “but every time i feel myself beginning to fall back into that spiral, your dad is there to pull me back out. always has been, even when i didn’t know i needed it.” eddie feels himself begin to get teary at that and he swears he hears buck clear his throat yet again. his baby girls spreads her fingers against his chest like she’s trying to feel his heart beat, and he swears his heart swells in size just to allow her to get close. grinning to himself, he lifts her hand with a finger, tears finally beginning to fall as her gentle fingers clasp around his digit, sealing the bond between them for life. eddie’s voice wavers as he continues, feeling buck’s arms drape over his shoulders.

“but your dad is so right. we both love you more than you could ever know, and we’re going to make sure you feel it every single day. your brother chris, too. you two are going to get along so well, and he is going to love you and your dad loves you and i-“ eddie’s voice cracks, more tears streaking down his face. “i love you, little bean, with everything i can possibly give.”

-

it’s later, when baby girl buckley-diaz is all swaddled up in her crib at home, that buck finally says. “you know, years ago, just after you joined the station, there was a call that stuck with me.”

eddie twists his head from where he’s sat between buck’s legs, playing with the silver wedding band on his husband’s finger. “oh? which one?”

“do you remember that old couple, always out doing activities together? one of them got struck by a car and the other died on his husband’s chest?”

“oh yeah! i remember!” a pause, and then, “what about it?”

“well, before he passed away, thomas said something to me, and it always stuck.” eddie twists fully around at this, kneeling between buck’s knees.

“what was it?”

“he- he said that him and his husband, they only ever wanted to die together, in each other's arms. at the time, everything with abby was still really fresh, and i mentioned to him that i could only ever hope to find a love like that.”

a pause, and then, “what did he say?”

buck smiled, his eye glinting as he recalled the day everything changed for him. “he told me, ‘you don’t find it son, you make it.’” he wraps his arms around eddie’s back, staring at him like it was the first time all over again. “that’s what we’ve done, eds. we’ve made it. our little family. we made a love that neither of us thought we were going to find again, and we’ve made a family from fragments of others and i couldn’t ask for anything else.”

eddie smiles that wide, beautiful smile at buck and he swears he feels like he’s falling in love all over again. “have i ever told you how much i love you?”

buck shrugged, a blush rising on his cheeks. “i wouldn’t be opposed to hearing it again.”

“i love you, evan. from now until forever.”

“from now until forever.” buck agreed, bridging the gap to press a tender kiss to eddie’s lips.

their family didn’t come easy, but nothing worth having ever did.

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