#/ cant u people act.... normal......

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[nyukyujs]

i honestly get so pissed when someone says something very slightly inappropriate and they have "god(✝️, ❤️,❣️, etc)" in their bio and someone else goes "and you have god in your bio?" "they way god is in ur bio...." like hello???

#like they could have “god✝️” in their bio and make an inappropriate joke and then someone else goes “u literally have god in ur bio” #hello????? ur acting like thats not NORMAL. they can believe in god and still have sex what. #???? thats how LIFE is made. thats how YOU were born. its is a COMPLETELY. NORMAL. LIFE. CYCLE. #people have SEX. to have KIDS. ITS NORMAL WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IN GOD OR NOT. WHAT. #sorry i had to get that out ppl think u cant have sex js cus u believe in god like wtf. #!@ talk & talk <3 .

[tamagotchikgs]

been trying to figure out just how i am going to explain how wildly my brain has been altered since the last time i saw my therapist && it make me realize all of this has happened in 1 month,,,,,,,,,,, it feels like . eons. eternity . in the best way possible

#normally everything feels so short #my anxiety just speeds me through it before i can even take a second to enjoy or even experience anything. everything is a dusty blur #but ive been ok #i've actually had good times ive mayb even started 2 feel close to a person for the first time in my life #feel safe w them #anxiety cant get me when im in their shield bubble #listening 2 em talk n even just Exist like woag ur the best thing in this whole world #just bbzbzbzbzbbzz #of course there r also the Horrors that do come w it just due 2 my avpd but . it still feels so different #and i like to ignore those because they make me feel like a monster i am not jealous noo i am so normal i am very normal #i am beating my jealousy side with a stick and i Will win #i have never and Will never act on it #if i ignore it they cant b real #also i do know it's illogical whihc helps #honestly though im used 2 it because ill get jealous if like . a stranger is nice to me and then is nice to some1 else. like oh. oh it was #all a rouse u want me dead u hate me #and it's like. homie. pal. that is normal. they're not abandoning u theyre not trying to set u up for humiliation #theyre just living their life #it's kinda weird tho because i will get feelings like that simultaneously with knowing i am Nothing i am a Horrid beast no one deserves to #even have to see #and knwoing i am not allowed to care about people and there is no shot in hell they will be even nice to me #so it;s just . a lot of things swirling constant;ly #painful emotions all around there is no joy #(except for rn. with them. i can b free from my brain)

[neonsbian]

we have a little stand in the lobby w eclipse glasses and we said one per person but ppl are definitely taking whole handfuls when we have a limited supply -_-

#and ppl kept bothering me while i was setting up the stand like why cant u people act normal!!!!!!!! #vinnie talks

[saintsgrrl]

AUUUGHHHH

#srsly don't want to go to school and have people talk abt how much they want to self harm to me ಠ⁠◡⁠ಠ !!!!!!! #the fact that they don't even ask how to get through it/how to overcome the urges. they just talk to me abt how much they wamt to do it. #DO I LOOK LIKE A THERAPIST TO YOU BITCH #GOD IT TRIGGERS ME SO BAD WHY CANT PEOPLE JUST ACT NORMAL ABT SCARS ISTG ONE OF THESE DAYS IM GONNA SNAP AT THEM I CAN'T ANYMORE THROWING U

[bloggirl8842]

I feel like one of my friends is being weird with me but I’ve got no proof all I know is I asked her for another friend’s number (someone I haven’t spoken to in 4 yrs 😟) and she stopped texting me back and liking my posts. Which could be entirely incidental like it should just be entirely incidental but I am getting a weird vibe

#i had a massive crush on the other friend for awhile. that could be it? but she didnt know abt that so idk. im reaching out to him bc im try #ing to text a bunch of artists i grew up and he was like the main one for a bit so avoiding him would be way weirder than just being normal. #also ofc i got over the crush years ago. i regret it a bit i mean not the feeling i guess bc u cant regret honest things like that but i #regret the way it made me act i couldve just been normal! i didnt learn how to do that til after #i think i just had a lot of shame around existing like i didnt enjoy my personality i didnt socialize well i wasnt pretty i had no real pass #ion for anything so i felt like a burden whenever i liked anyone and got REALLY weird about it. like stop talking to them start memorizing t #heir hallway routes weird 😭 anyways im mostly worried like girl please dont be weird w me i value our friendship and also directness #though i do think it must be incidental. but the little possibility that its not…. #it bothers me bc shes like niku ur so real and its like ok b real w me back. but im guessing shes just busy or distracted or something like #ive got a lot of people lm supposed to write who i just havent

[feline-evil]

Clasping my hands together in prayer and wishing The GamersTM weren't also fans of what i'm a fan of

#jay talkin #the pain of being a fan of a specific character who has so many things that The Gamers are Fucking stupid about #constant cinema-sins esque gotchas abt stuff that they think they r so smart for pointing out #when in fact they are being so facking dumb. do u know my pain as a kazuhira miller liker #everyday The Gamers do a 'gotcha' of 'oh he couldnt do that he's blind' #do we need to talk about how uncomfortable that is to hear parroted around #do we need to have a talk about the wide range of sight loss covered under the diagnosises that get you labelled Legally blind. #do we need to talk about the fact being blind does not always = total 100% sight loss. #do we need to talk about Being Normal about a disabled man for once in our miserable lives. #also you can't tell him what to do thats hellmaster fucking miller are you kidding me. #also had to bear witness to people callong him a weeb for being called Kazuhira.... #my brother in christ how are you gonna act like you know shit abt what yr talking abt #when you don't know that kazuhira fuckin miller is a whole ass japanese man with a backstory #that involves the discrimination and xenophobia he faced as a man who looks like he does #a WEEB? A WEEB?? HES FROM. JAPAN. #oh no way the guy from japan has a japanese name? must be weeb shit guys bc our lil racist addled brains #cant understand that japan is a country outside of our commodification of it bc we r less smart than a bird #WHEEZE. SORRY. I GOT MAD AGAIN FOR A MOMENT. anyway. #GamersTM are insufferable and lack the media literacy to actually be metal gear fans so i wish they'd Go Away #putting metal gear but especially kazuhira miller up on a shelf till you guys can learn to behave

[idiotsonlyevent]

the summer hikaru died is so gay. like even if it wasn't 'actually gay' it would still be gay.

#im having a lotnof very normal feelings about this manga #one day ur hanging out w ur childhood friend who u definitely dont have a weird homoerotic codependent relationship w #and you realize that something about them is different. they look the same. they act... almost the same. but something is different. #something has changed (gay) #they like you (maybe you like them back too) #but the sudden shift makes them unrecognizable #you dont know what they are anymore. you dont know what your relationship is anore. you don't know how you're supposed to keep it together #when other people (maybe even you) see them as a monster #they open up to you. they keep showing you more and kore vulnerable sides of themselves. but you dont know what to do. how to act. #what will happen in the future? (whats happening now?) #worst of all is that other ppl start to notice. they start treating them differently warning you pushing back. and you cant deal with it #and you dont want to leave your friend behind. but what if theyre right? #ok i need to stop. im gonna stop. #L.txt #hgsn

[dip-the-stick]

my skills include second guessing myself and blushing anytime someone gives me attention. also being attractive

#swear to god if anyone talks to me and im not used to talking to them i can feel my face getting red i hate it #like i cant talk abt the things i enjoy with ppl i get embarrassed and i keep having to school my expressions and stuff #anyways im exhausted there are too many ppl around me recently #(literally just 2 ppl tbh but like. i dont know them too well and they keep asking abt the things i like but like !!! i cant just say that #i told them i mostly read and hang out in my room and they asked what i read and my mind just went fully blank #like idk girl! books! blog posts! subtitles occasionally! #'idk sometimes i rlly doubt that im nd i feel like im pretty normal i just like my alone time and stuff' #homeboy u do not know how to act around people at all what the fuck are you talking about. try to maintain eye contact #and stay still when you talk abt something you like and not throw up at the idea of going out for smtn new #THEN we can talk abt u not being a mess of illnesses #dipshitposts

[rottingsick]

I'll think about postin it again later. Im so fuckin pissed that I can't just exist without bein sexualized no matter what I do or where I go.

to the people in the yandere tags sexualizin people who DIRECTLY STATE NSFW DNI OR GET REPORTED, you're absolutely the scum of the earth, get the fuck out of the yandere tags rn and delete your blog. you don't deserve rights if you wont treat others like people who deserve their autonomy to be respected. I am not a fuckin piece of meat for you to sexualize nor is any of these other traumatized bitches.

#bpd yandere #irl yandere #actually yandere #yancore #text #info #mine #hahahahaha I fuckin hate you guys so much this is why I haven't posted a photo of my self in MONTHS #even if I want to show the fuckin normal people my cute outfits... I cant! because y'all don't know how to fuckin act! #n b4 u ask. this post has the same exact reach tags as the other one did #tags I use time and time again. I thought it was safe cause I hadn't had any weirdos in a while. thanks for remindin me I'm never safe !!! #choke and die!!!!!

[thewickerking]

OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)

#updates on my last posts tags: i dont like actually see spiders i just see movement out of the corner of my eye that isnt there and then my #brain always categorizes it as spiders and its nearly never spiders but it makes me rlly on edge and scared 4 no reason #itll just like be a little black blur out of focus (when theres genuinely nothing there other than like. my white sink or bathtub) and my #brain is like 'ah oh no spider' and my pulse quickens and i get scared and think its gonna kill me cause im sooo normal btw #i joke abt being scared of spiders n stuff but theres genuinely terrifying to me and have given me super bad panic attacls : #anyways. #erm abt the last thing abt Bad Sounds ik its probably a symptom of something but i havent heard of anything that sounds right except maybe #overstimulation but very rarely feel overstimulated im usually very understimulated and its not that theres too many sounds its just theres #one really bad one that sets me off like weird random things like snoring and certain dripping faucets and breathing and like. certain ways #people brush their hands together when they have something on them but they do it for too long and the sound is horrible but subtle #and also certain times people are tapping against fabric like. stuff that ppl overlook and u can barely hear but it drives me off the walls #like idk what common thread they have other than NORMAL EXISTING HUMAN SOUNDS but like. idk if pain is the right word to describe it but #its genuinely something physically pain adjacent like. tension. like when u pull a rubber band super far apart and it cant fucking #stay like that like cmon it hurts it needs to snap please let it out. but letting it out is like. erm. not good and if the sound doesnt end #after u let it out like it didnt do anything it just goes back. ough idk idk idk. i used to not tell anyone this stuff cause i mostly did l #it at night and i think ppl will say im exaggerating and faking cause they dont witness it and my mother doesnt do it i think so its not an #acceptable form of mental illness /s but like genuinely i dont feel like im allowed to mention it but whatever!!! #anyways this is rlly long if u read it. hi. i love u. i hope u have a good day/ #night also hmu if u know what whatever this is called i wanna talk about it in therapy and i think my words dont feel professional enough #ik u shouldnt have to act professional in therapy bur erm. i feel like i need to in some ways its complicated #.ares

[narke]

did an unsubtle little 10 second lurk after class bc i wanted to talk to [redacted] but i could not think of anything to say so i just left 🥲

#but he did make a point to tell me to have a good night 🥲 #WHEN IWAS LIKE ‘u too’ MY VOICE WENT SO HIGH AND BREATHY AND LIT TWO SECONDS LATER I WAS LIKE [regular voice] ‘oh thanks’ TO SOMEONE HOLDING #THE DOOR FOR ME FUCK MY LIFE #literally sighed in a lovelorn matter once i got home. I DONT KNOW HOW TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE!!!! #actually i dont know if he even heard me i was so quiet. DUDE IM SO INTERESTED IN U IM ACTING LIKE A FREAK. I CANT ACT NORMAL AROUND U

[jrueships]

why are you snarling sir

#hes letting his inner warriorcats out 😼 #Release da Beast 😈😈 #he keeps embarrassing me bro #in his piss pants #shoes go hard tho but i think any 'good color especially a lighter or rlly pops in ur face color +white background' looks good on shoes #i used to think shoes with wings on the end were the coolest things ever as a kid but never could afford them #so i stole a strangers cardboard scrap out their garbagecan and made cardboard little shoe wings #and a raccoon tore them off #i forgave it tho #loons shoes!!! #at first i thought jaren was snarling at loon 😭😭😭 #when the xxwolfprincessloverofalexxx doesnt win princess wolf at the fullmoon ball #grrrr.... *my eye under my wolf bang starts glowing red* R u n 👹 . #why cant tall people celebrate dunks normally #they always gotta be doin smthin like we didnt see it like of course we saw it youre a 7ft flying object in the air #you dont gotta growl at us 😭 #tall skinny white kids who could two hand were the worst i cant believe i have heard the phrase 'im going beastmode' more than once #subjected to its torture #the way klay is just staring at him... radiating a smug aura #manufacturing the 'bum' nickname in his head at that very moment. he acted like he didnt remember who made the tweet... #he knew. i know he knew. #and he probably thinks about this photo happening now and laughs so loud and random it makes the rookies forced on his boat #even more scared of him #jaren doing all this just for ja not to give a shit LMAO #ja pays attention to jaren when he burps and farts but turns away at his greatness #deserved L #ja #jaren #klay #poor loon 😭

[yamikawas]

anyways yoomtah is mine and only mine and anyone else who likes her too much deserves to puke up their own guts and die.For real<3

#''acting like u own a chr made by someone else is beyond not ok'' ok then if thats the case explain how yoomtah literally belongs to me. #i dont just Act like i own her i DO own her she literally belongs to me.Die mad bestie<3 #sorry just vagueing a cringe post from a normal s/elfship blog that i saw on my dash hashtag girl #literally the yanderes are so much more fun like we just kill people and vibe #meanwhile over on the normal side u cant even hate someones guts for liking ur beloved too much without people thinking ur bad?Girl hello #personally i think wanting to maul someone like a rabid wolf for getting too close to ur favorite chr is perfectly valid and understandable #anyways pspsps jealousy and/or violence-prone s/elfshippers who are too afraid to be like that on main.Join Us<3 #tobi.txt #if anyone wants to see the post i was vagueing i have a screenshot Btw<3

[babydarkstar]

gross. so many t*rfs on this goddamn website

#this is literally. the gay website. you are a right winger. go use mastodon or whatever #when u agree with right wing fascists on your politics but call yourself a r*dical f*minist🥴 #it’s the cognitive dissonance for me #im blocking all of you. cant have anything nice on here #like. you are not welcome here!!!!! #so many people who were like. undercover t*rds that i was mutuals with. truly sickening #how are u going to follow me and act like that’s normal when im always talking shit