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waitmyturtles · 7 days

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: A Honorable Mention For War of Y, and Another Look at How Thai BL Talks About BL (With a Bonus Watch of BL: Broken Fantasy)

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I take a look at the more recent attempts by the Thai BL industry to critique itself with War of Y and the mini-documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy.]

2022's War of Y. Let me start this piece off by saying that this show is not good. My friend and BL elder educator, @bengiyo, once said about the OGMMTVC project, that some people (LIKE ME :'( ) just have to look into the abyss to satiate their curiosity about how this genre has developed, and that's definitely a point of the OGMMTVC. Not all past Thai BL shows are good, not by a long shot, and I don't recommend War of Y if you're watching dramas for pleasurable experiences only. (If you want to watch a GREAT drama that critiques the Thai BL industry, start with 2021's Lovely Writer, and I'll get more into this later.)

War of Y, directed by the chaotic Cheewin Thanamin and the I-am-assuming-to-be-misanthropic-and-indulgently-self-righteous-and-preening Den Panuwat, gave us 20 episodes of what I believe they thought to be groundbreaking critical art about the currently Thai BL industry. Let me set up an outline so that I don't spend too long on the bad stuff, and explain why War of Y does at least get an important mention (but not an official inclusion) on the OGMMTVC list.

1) What was War of Y about, how it was structured, and some quick high points, 2) Comparing War of Y to other pieces of Thai BL fiction that did a better job of critiquing Thai BL culture, and 3) A close-out reflection of Aam Anusorn's 2020 mini-documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy.

War of Y, as presented by Cheewin and Den, is designed to be a meta-drama of four chapters, all examining a specific aspect of the Thai BL industry. The first chapter, led by Billy Patchanon and Seng Wichai, focuses on two ship partnerships competing with each other, to the mental detriment of one of the older ship's celebrities; the second chapter focuses on two HORRIBLE warring managers; the third chapter showcases, in excruciating detail, god help us, a Y idol reality show, replete with singing; and the final chapter depicts the creation of a BL series and the rise of another super celebrity, whose career potentially gets derailed by his relationship with a female acting colleague.

Before I get into the few high points, I just want to say that this bloated structure (four chapters of five episodes each) did not do this drama well. It could have been edited down GREATLY for more succinct messaging. The other major issue I had is that the Thai BL genre -- as a romance genre itself, that demands romantic and coupled endings -- is just not the right genre to meta-critique the industry from which the piece of art comes from, not unless you're the screenwriter of Lovely Writer, who deftly managed some very complicated storylines into true art. There was no deft to War of Y. Couples got together in pandering and condescending ways, because that's how a Thai BL should end, right (?!); HORRENDOUS warring enemies suddenly made up with barely any context except to make money, and so on. I kept saying to friends during my watch that in a Den Panuwat show -- the worse you are as a character, the more likely you are to be redeemed for seemingly no good reason.

[Exhibits B and C in Den Panuwat's screenwriting record of questionable human characteristics? Fucking Only Friends and Playboyy. THE WORSE THOSE CHARACTERS WERE, THE BETTER THEIR OUTCOMES. Yeah, we really wanted those assholes to end well. ANYWAY. (I am committing to never watching a Den Panuwat show again. ANYWAY.)]

But there were a few high points. Actually seeing a Y idol reality show, something that international fans may not be able to appreciate with a lack of subtitles, was at least eye-opening for the inter-related nature of these kinds of shows, with some performers subsequently getting series gigs. (I understand that Santa Pongsapak, of My Own 12%, is an example of this kind of performer, who started out first as a music idol trainee.)

And the acting. Some of the acting was EASILY the best part of War of Y, as it very often happens in questionable Thai dramas: Billy (BILLYYYYYYYY), First Piyangkul, Dome Waruwat (who we most recently saw in Cooking Crush, and who absolutely SLAYED as one of the SLIMIEST, GROSSEST characters EVER, ohmygod), and

SENG MOTHERFUCKING WICHAI

(who will win one of the crowns as one of THE BEST FUCKING ACTORS IN THAI BL at the conclusion of the OGMMTVC project)

were easily the best reasons to watch War of Y. The range of Seng Wichai. It's ironic that he left Idol Factory last year, ending the BillySeng ship, and was then disgracefully treated like utter crap by the media and BL fans for the reveal of his relationship with Freen Sarocha. That, in itself, could make for a heartbreaking drama about the BL industry, but alas. We have War of Y instead. Seng is a motherfucking hero, and is also the KING of cringe, playing a horribly behaved actor who learns to overcome his insecurities to stand up against the advantages taken unto him by greedy managers.

We also had MANY wild and crazy cameos from real BL professionals in the show. @twig-tea and I agree that director New Siwaj's cameo was BAFFLING. He played a BL director (which he actually is) who maybe hated making BLs? (Maybe he actually hates it?) But still does it? And was mostly checked out of making the BL-show-within-the-BL-show, until he was called out about it, and then behaved like a good boy. Like. That cameo, along with a literally-evil NetJames and an even more inexplicable and weird literally-evil MaxNat cameo (wtf, that wasn't filled out AT ALL), were the really weird ones. The sad ones were ones like sweet NuNew Chawarin telling young BL guys that they have to sing (NO THEY DON'T). There was actual!Tee Bundit telling off Seng Wichai's character, that was rad. Director Lit Phadung of SOTUS and Dangerous Romance (😬) was there. Even the original novelist for Thailand's first television BL, Love Sick, was there, playing herself as Kwang Latika, who complained to a producer within War of Y that the show-within-the-show (yeah, I know) was taking her novel out of context. That shit sounds familiar! I could have used more accurate commentary on that.

The last high point that I can muster is that the show began to toe the line of the issue of actors needing to explore their sexualities for art's sake. As fans, we truly do not have much insight into this process, and I think it's for good reason, so as to protect actors (wherever they land on the sexuality spectrum) from very real, emotional, and sensitive processes and workshops that prepare them for taking on queer material. We know that actors like Nanon Korapat from Bad Buddy use Method techniques in their performances, and that can be mentally draining. Do I believe that some actor pairings experiment with dating, and may actually be in relationships? Yes, I must believe it, considering the psychological work these young men have to do to build attraction to each other for art's sake. The CEO of Korea's Strongberry studio confirmed as much earlier this year.

Unfortunately, I think War of Y leveraged these very sensitive realities to blatantly and flippantly indicate that ships can be ASSUMED to either explore sex with each other, and/or to even assume that they SHOULD be in relationships, à la the television BL romance formula that I mentioned above. I think this show could have transcended the romance genre formula, frankly, and I think the show came kinda close to doing that in the last chapter with First Piyangkul -- but not before setting up First's character, Achi, as a cheating monster-machine who was willing to go to great lengths to protect his fame, including outing his trans-female ex-girlfriend and co-star (YEAH, THAT HAPPENED), as well as separating himself from his ship and sexual same-sex partner while still indicating that they were dating. The whole storyline was just -- BLEH.

As I chatted with another fabulous BL elder, @twig-tea, about after I finished War of Y, clearly, Cheewin and Den thought they were intellectual geniuses upon the creation of this show, thinking that a BL itself would be a sufficient mechanism to offer meta commentary about problematic aspects of the BL industry (IT'S NOT). Twig wisely said to me that a writer or directly simply CHOOSING a topic to explore vis à vis a BL -- like a criticism of the industry itself -- is not, in of itself, worthy of laudation. And Cheewin and Den were CLEARLY expecting flowers by the end of this drama. If you've ever lived in smelling distance of southern California, you'll know that entertainment industries love nothing more than to talk about the entertainment industry, and that they think that fictional drama art is the best way to obsess over the vagaries of these industries (IT'S NOT). Instead, Cheewin and Den basically outed themselves as economic shippers and idiot faux-savants who are clearly in the game for fame, and maybe the dudes themselves, which -- BLEH REDUX.

On the OGMMTVC list, Lovely Writer does such a better job at covering the latent homophobia and judgments against actors within and external to the industries that take on BL. War of Y actually teed up a LOT of interesting topics, such as the BL-to-het-drama-and-studio pipeline that I talked about in my past OGMMTVC KinnPorsche pieces -- but these topics in War of Y just instead drowned in misanthropic meditations about fame, sex, and money that seemed far more suited to reaaaaalllly-bad Cinemax than, say, a proto-documentary.

The OGMMTVC syllabus also has YYY, from 2020, as a first entrée to BL-commentary-within-BL (and funnily enough, YYY also stars Lay Talay, who was the main anchor of War of Y, and was actually fantastic in both shows). YYY is a lot more succinct, CONCISE, zany, weird as HELL, incomplete, INSANE, not the greatest show, but HILARIOUS, simply in part because of its different and wonderful writers in Fluke Teerapat (a former BL actor himself) and Tanachot Prapasri. If you're looking for commentary about BL within wild-ass fiction (and if you're willing to watch it with shrooms or a fifth of vodka), watch YYY. (And remember that you're really watching YYY to watch Poppy Ratchapong eat his role of Porpla totally alive. Utter brilliance.)

Otherwise, as a means of complementing this review, I also watched 2020's non-fiction mini-documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy, by Aam Anusorn, another Series Y director who made the documentary, perhaps in part, to atone for past BL shows that he made, like 2Moons2 and Call It What You Want.

BL: Broken Fantasy featured interviews from directors, actors, and actual fans, about the nature of shipping, what the industry demands of actors, what fans themselves demand, and offered even a little bit of insight from two HUGE actors, Bright Vachiwarit and Win Metawin of 2gether and Still 2gether, about the process itself of young men acting in a queer coupleship.

The documentary is perhaps too short for its own good. And it sets up Aam as an unwilling participant within the BL industry, seemingly not knowing about what he was getting into when he first started making BLs (2gether's director, Champ Weerachit, also presents this way, which I found a touch disingenuous, as they were literally filming 2gether in the documentary).

But BL: Broken Fantasy hammered on a couple of important and real points. The economic benefits of shipping are HUGE. The sponsorship deals, the fame, the money -- they literally make young actors very rich and very well attended to. The fans EXPECT shipping performances, so that they themselves can situate themselves as caretakers or "mommies" to their young flock of boba-eyed actors that they worship. And for directors who want to earn money by making filmed art: the budding industry offers them that opportunity in growing spades. ( @lurkingshan will be happy to know that of all people, Aof Noppharnach, confirms to the documentary's audience that BL is a romance genre of love stories. As if there was any doubt, playa!)

At this point in time, in 2024, if I want a meta-critical understanding of the BL industry, and its many impacts on queer populations, fan bases, and Asian and global society, I'll go to Dr. Thomas Baudinette's Boys Love Media in Thailand and choose the academic route. We are SO LUCKY now to actually have tremendous academic discourse on the genre and its impact on media, fandoms, queer society, and global and regional acceptances of queer equity.

As opposed to the roads that academics are paving, War of Y allowed itself to bloat and gloat, on behalf of its creators, about their desires for shipping, for lavishing attention on beautiful young men, without offering us objective insight into the mindsets of these gentlemen who are important artists and creators in many of the shows we love. There needs to be a space for fair and objective criticism about an industry that may, at many times, take advantage of these young men. While there were many industry cameos in the show, the most frequent cameo was Den Panuwat himself. That enough should tell us what this show was ultimately really about.

[Well, as you can tell, I am fucking DONE with War of Y, laughing my azz off, and -- I'm off to greener pastures. I'm taking a cute and quick break from the OGMMTVC to devour Japan's anime version of Cherry Magic for an upcoming comparative (and totally self-indulgent) Big Meta on Thailand's and Japan's versions of that franchise. (And I have also been watching Fully Booked, AMA.) But I've got a long-awaited rewatch of The Eclipse coming up, to explore how GMMTV handled homophobia as a centered topic head-on, and from there, I go back to Idol Factory to watch Thailand's first GL, featuring the lovely FreenBecky, in GAP.

AND THEN: HOLY SHIT! FINALLY! My School President. I can't wait.

Here's the latest of the OGMMTVC list. If you've got any questions or comments about the syllabus, just mosey on over to this link and drop a comment my way!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here)

21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here)

31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: preamble here, part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) (review here) 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist (part 1 and part 2) 37) Honorable Mention: War of Y (2022) (for the sake of an attempt to provide meta BL commentary within a BL in the modern BL era), with a complementary watch of Aam Anusorn’s documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy (2020) 38) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 39) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch to Reexamine “Genre BLs” and Internalized/Externalized Homophobia in GMMTV Shows (watching) 40) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL)

41) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 42) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 43) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 44 La Pluie (2023) (review coming) 45) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 46) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType) 47) Only Friends (2023) (tag here) (not technically a BL, but it certainly became one in the end) 48) Last Twilight (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as Thailand’s first major BL to center disability, successfully or otherwise) 49) Cherry Magic Thailand (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as the first major Japanese-to-Thai drama adaptation, featuring the comeback of TayNew) 50) Ossan’s Love Returns (2024) (adding for the EarthMix cameo and the eventual Thai remake)

51) Dead Friend Forever (2024) (thoughts here) 52) 23.5 (2024) (GMMTV’s first GL) (thoughts here)]

#war of y #war of y the series #billyseng #billy patchanon #seng wichai #cheewin thanamin #den panuwat #first piyangkul #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #turtles catches up with thai BLs #war of y meta

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jaeyunverse · 1 year

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the bet

pairing: sim jake x fem!reader

genres: fluff, neighbours to lovers, summer romance au

wc: 1230

warnings: i can think of none, but lmk if you want me to add anything!!

summary: in which jake bets he can make you fall for him in three weeks. you don’t tell him you’ve already lost.

note: happy jake day!! ♡ i raced against time to complete this before the 16th and YAYY i still have a little less than two hours :D i hope this is to your liking!! feedback would be appreciated <3

masterlist

“We should compare hand sizes.”

You averted your gaze from the sea and raised an eyebrow at the boy lounging beside you. “Really?”

Jake hummed, his eyes following a crab that was skittering several feet away from where you were seated. He was lying down with his legs stretched out in front of him, his elbows propped up to support his upper body weight.

There was barely anyone on the beach. One of the town’s biggest events was commencing at sundown and everyone was busy getting ready for it. Jake wanted some alone time with you before the festivities began, so he had dragged you to the shore to watch the sunset with him.

The cool evening air ruffled his fluffy hair, and you bit down on the urge to run your hand through the soft strands. It was a beautiful sight, really, watching him be at peace with nary a care in the world.

Tucking your knees under your chin, you rested your cheek on them. “Did you run out of ideas already?”

“Old is gold,” he quipped, finally sliding his eyes to meet yours. A mischievous smile adorned his lips as he said, “Though we can try something else if you want; how do you feel about comparing feet sizes?”

You laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully. “You’re impossible.”

Jake snorted. Pointing at himself, he feigned disbelief. “I am impossible? You are the one who keeps playing hard to get. I’ve been trying to woo you for over two weeks.”

“Giving up already?” you teased and pointed out, “I told you I wasn’t going to make things easy for you.”

You’d met Jake at the start of your break. Spending summer vacation at your grandma’s home was an old tradition for your family, but you hadn’t been able to visit the previous year due to a multitude of reasons.

On the day of your arrival, you’d exited the car and sprinted into the beach house even before your dad could stop the vehicle fully. You hadn’t seen your Nana in so long—your excitement obviously knew no bounds.

However, instead of finding her, you had come face-to-face with a strange blonde boy unloading groceries on the kitchen island.

Your first encounter with Jake had been horribly embarrassing. His soft, boyish features had thrown you off.

Literally.

You had tripped over your own feet when your gazes locked. Thankfully, he’d proven to be someone with good reflexes and caught you before you could fall.

Your Nana, upon hearing the commotion, had rushed inside (from the garden out back, you’d assumed) and gotten introductions out of the way.

Jake Sim and his family had only recently moved into the house next door. His parents, after a successful career, had seeked early retirement and taken sanctuary in the small town of Rockcrest.

Jake, apparently, surfed and ran errands for your grandma when he wasn’t busy doing his summer job as a waiter at the golf course.

The two of you befriended each other and started hanging out, only to discover that you actually had a lot in common.

For instance, both of you had the terrible habit of betting on things to prove to other people that you were right. One thing led to the next, and here you were now, risking your prized possessions yet again to win another bet.

If Jake couldn’t manage to make you fall for him in the span of three weeks, he would have to surrender his DSLR. But if he did make you fall, you’d have to hand over the signed first edition copy of your favorite book.

The stakes weren’t nearly as scary as the dangerous game you were playing. Though, you supposed, there wasn’t really anything to be afraid of.

The damage was already done. You’d fallen for Jake long before the bet came into existence.

Why, then, did you agree to his conditions?

Jake Sim was cocky. He was overconfident. If given the chance, he was sure he could convince you to be his girlfriend.

Admitting that you were already head over heels for him would have been embarrassing. It would have implied that he’d managed to have an effect on you without even trying. No way were you going to allow that to happen.

So, you let him try. You let him hold your hand. You let him hug you. You let him take you out on dates. You let him kiss the corners of your lips and do all sorts of cheesy things.

You let him in.

Each moment you spent with him made you open up to him more and more. Not only did Jake know your dreams and the things that made you happy, but he was also aware of your insecurities, fears and sorrows.

You didn’t even care about the bet anymore. Your pride and competitiveness could go down the drain for all you cared. You only had two months left before school began; time was of absolute essence.

“Jake—”

“Why would I give up when I know I’ve already won the bet?” he interrupted, answering your question. His eyes bored into yours and you felt your heart rate pick up. “Why would I accept defeat after I’ve managed to make you fall for me?”

Your mouth parted open in surprise. You could only stare at Jake dumbfoundedly as he stood up and dusted himself off, offering you a hand. “You might have done your best to keep up the pretense, Y/N, but I noticed your slip-ups.”

“Since when have you known?” you whispered, slipping your hand into his and allowing him to pull you to your feet. He didn’t let go, though. He only intertwined your fingers and caressed your face.

“A few days into the bet,” Jake answered, his gaze darting between your eyes and mouth, as if he had a hard time not looking at the latter. “I was reaching for a bottle behind you, but you thought I was going in for a kiss.”

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. You hadn’t realised he’d known.

“Sorry for disappointing you then,” he mumbled. “Can I make it up to you now?”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Breath hitching in your throat, all you could do was nod. But Jake wasn’t having it. Tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, he whispered, “Use your words, princess.”

You exhaled shakily. “Make it up to me, Jake.”

And then his lips were on yours. His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. Tilting his neck to the side, Jake deepened the kiss.

You thought you had died and gone to Paradise.

Your heart swelled with happiness and contentment, and if it weren’t for Jake’s thumb caressing your face in a comforting manner, you might have exploded into an array of light.

All your other senses dulled and for the first time in your life, you realised what it was like to live in the moment. To enjoy it so thoroughly that everything else becomes meaningless.

Out of breath due to the sheer euphoria you were experiencing, you broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his.

“Y/N?” Jake murmured. “Can I ask you something?”

You slowly opened your eyes in response and stared into his hopeful ones.

“Will you accompany me to the festival as my girlfriend?”

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sundrop-writes · 27 days

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Sundrop's Stranger Things Masterlist

Please note - I am just posting this masterlist to get it out of my drafts - I worked on it when I was working on the fic listed below, and then I completely randomly lost interest in it, and this has been sitting in my drafts for months ever since. And I love the formatting and style of this masterlist and I don't want to accidentally lose it by accidentally deleting the draft - and I am gonna need this masterlist at some point. So I'm posting it.

Coming "Soon":

Nasty - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. You hesitate to tell Eddie your true sexual desires, fearing that he'll be turned off. But when he finds out - he is more turned on than ever. (3,000 words.)

Note: The rest of these link off to AO3 (which is the bulk of them unfortunately) - but at some point, I hope to have them edited and posted to Tumblr.

Sugar, We're Goin' Down - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader x Eddie Munson. Friends to Lovers. Smut. Eddie hasn't gotten laid in months, so when he walks in on you and Steve (and neither of you seem to notice), he has just enough sexual frustration built up that he can’t bring himself to look away. He discovers quite a few things about Steve, and you. And himself. (12,700 words.)

Eat Me Up Alive - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Thick!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut. Eddie is a very annoying person. And when he goes too far, you push back. Turns out - he likes it. Loves it, actually. (11,200 words.)

I'm Still Standing - Nancy Wheeler x Fem Disabled/Chronically Ill Reader. Friends to Lovers. Angst, Smut, (very slight Fluff). Hurt and Comfort. You start having horrible waking nightmares, but you don't want to worry your best friend Nancy by telling her. She's already occupied trying to chase down a trans-dimensional killer wizard, and you are convinced that the two aren't possibly related. (37,800 words.)

Bless This Mess - ADHD!Eddie Munson x Fem!Thick!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut and Fluff. Eddie accidentally forgets the two of you have a date planned. Rather than getting mad at him, you let him make it up to you. (5,700 words.)

Always Yours - Steve Harrington x Fem!Pregnant!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Fluff and Smut. Steve tells you about his 'six lil nuggets' dream, and you let him know that he's actually a lot closer to it than he thought. (2,500 words.)

Obey Your Master - Eddie Munson x Fem!Autistic!Thick!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Smut (and some Fluff). You are taking care of Eddie while his wounds from the Upside Down are healing. And when you offer to help 'take care' of him in other ways, he's convinced that he survived to live just for this exact moment. (11,200 words.)

Fix You - Eddie Munson x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Friends to Lovers. Fix-It Fic. Hurt and Comfort. Most of your life, all you knew was darkness. Eddie was the one light in all of it. And you refused to lose him. (5,300 words.)

Drowning In You - Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader. Enemies to Lovers. Smut (slight Emotional Angst). Working with Billy at Hawkins Pool forced you to be around him. But forgetting part of your mandatory uniform at home and being harassed by random men because of it forced you to truly confront your feelings for him. (22,100 words.)

You Shook Me All Night Long - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Smut and Fluff. Steve never really saw you. Until one day, when you stood out as the hottest babe he had ever seen. And on that day, he just happened to be wearing the dorkiest outfit ever and stuttering over himself to impress you. Somehow, it worked. (45,000 words.)

Daisy Fields (Companion to You Shook Me All Night Long) - Steve Harrington x Fem!Thick!Reader. Established Relationship, Family Fluff. Some Smut, Fluff. You and Steve happily pursue your life together, more than thankful for the silly little ice cream shop that brought the two of you together. (20,600 words.)

(This last one, I don't really like. I wrote it a long time ago, and it doesn't really go with my current style. But perhaps somebody seeing this masterlist can get some reading enjoyment out of it. It's just very unlikely to be re-posted on Tumblr.)

Monstrous - Steve Harrington x Fem!Powered!Reader. Established Relationship. Angst and Fluff. Steve finds out your big secret, and you are surprised when he doesn't hate you for it. (5,200 words.)

#sundrop writes #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader

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skywriter97 · 1 month

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Farewell, My Friend💔😭

(PSA: Possible spoiler warnings for The Murder of Me by the Zielo Cave. Only a couple panels, but still...)

So, on Monday night, I was at work, and I checked my phone, mostly out of habit. (I don't recommend doing this, btw, it's a good way to get you written up or worse.) And I saw that I had a YouTube notification on my lock screen. So I open my phone and pull down my drop bar to have a look. And literally saw the absolute worst news.

TMOM is over from The Zielo Cave

Now for those of you that don't know: The Murder of Me, AKA TMOM, is a Sonic the Hedgehog fan comic that first debuted I think 15 or so years ago, give or take, and as much as I would love to claim that I've been a fan since the beginning, I only discovered TMOM about a year or so ago. (I have the worst luck when it comes to finding things; I'm always late to the party 🥺)

When I discovered TMOM I was in a terrible rut. I hadn't posted anything in YEARS, and the writing I had done I kept locked away in notebooks, never to see the light of day. I had no inspiration, no motivation to tell stories. It was a horrible place to be. (-10000/10 recommendation.) Then I was scrolling through Pinterest one day, and I saw a panel of this random comic.

You could probably imagine my reaction. It's so random. Then more cropped up:

My thoughts went HAYWIRE. "Why is Sonic fighting his mother? Why's he dressed like that? WHY IS HE DROWNING?? WHY ARE KNUX AND TAILS LETTING HIM DROWN??? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING???" So I went hunting, and came across The Murder of Me by Gigi-D on DeviantArt.

I was HOOKED. The plot was so well thought out, the characterization was incredibly done, and as you can see, the art itself was BEAUTIFUL. I couldn't get enough. I flat out ignored life and read through 14 issues in one sitting. It took me all day but it was so worth it. AND THEN: I discovered the dubs on YouTube, and found that Gigi-D had decided to put together a creative team to produce the issues of The Murder of Me as episodic dubs, and I fell head over heels. The cast and editing was absolutely phenomenal, and The Murder of Me had my heart, hook, line, and sinker. What was even better was that they turned Issue 15 into an animatic episode.

Episode 15 Part 1: Purpose released on October 30th, 2022, and since then I have been anxiously awaiting the next episode by rewatching the series and all the prequels and bonus episodes I could get my mouse on. I even forced my best friend one night to binge the entire series with me, and she's not nearly as much of a Sonic fan as I am!

TMOM was more than a great watch or story for me. It was inspiration. I had an itch in my fingers that grew from writing a TMOM fanfiction that would stay hidden away into it's own complex project who's rough draft is now in production. (And could very well be released this summer if all goes well.) It was life breathed into my creativity. It was hope. For the first time in a very long time, I wanted to write. To tell a story like Gigi-D and the Zielo Cave.

And then that notification came. It was like a punch in the stomach. I was terrified and without watching it, I reacted and sent it to my best friend, wailing that once again, a story that I loved was being abandoned. That the writers were giving up. I was indignant. Screw that, I was angry and hurt.

Then I watched the video. I listened to Gigi's story, and immediately felt shamed by my own reaction. The Zielo Cave had been saying that Part Two was taking a while because of personal situations, and when Gigi revealed what had happened, that her inspiration was gone and couldn't bring herself to even sketch these characters that she loved so dearly...my heart shattered for her. While I might not really know or understand the pain of her personal situation, I do know what it is to completely lose the passion for your story. For the characters you still love, but can't bring yourself to engage with.

And while my heart of hearts aches, I know Gigi is doing the right thing. No one wants a story that it's writer is dragging their heels to share, can't bring themselves to write. God knows I've tried that, and trust me, it only hurts everyone. The writer, the fans, and the story itself. By ending TMOM here, she's protecting TMOM and its fans, and even though my heart breaks for TMOM's fate and (mostly) for her, I couldn't be more proud of her. The courage and strength it takes to walk away from such a huge part of your life in search of something more, something better?

Not only that, but honor the work and effort her team has given for Part Two and post it anyway, even though it's unfinished? To offer a written conclusion for the series for the fans that want to know what happens? I've never heard of any creator doing that, ever. All that I have seen would NEVER post any unfinished content, or unveil the unwritten plot and ending. And while I'm devastated for what that means, that TMOM is well and truly concluded and Gigi will probably NEVER return, as a fan of this series, I'm so grateful that what happens to these characters won't remain a mystery.

And to repeat what I said in the comment section of the announcement video: I pray a future that is bright and beautiful for you, and you discover what an amazing person you on this journey of healing. You're going to be magnificent because you are already an incredible person, Gigi. I can't express how important TMOM has been for me, how inspiring the story has been when I was down and unable to pursue my own creativity in my writing, and I just want to thank you for the years of dedication, passion, and love you and your team have given us through The Murder of Me. I bless all the paths you walk from this day forward, and all my love and support for you goes with you on your journeys for all the rest of your days.

The Murder of Me is over. I will always be a TMOM fan, and I will always love Gigi-D and the Zielo Cave for giving me inspiration, passion, and hope for my writing again. It's because of TMOM that The Three Sovereigns even made it to development and is now currently being written with the hope of release this summer, and The Three Sovereigns will always be a tribute to The Murder of Me and the hope this story has given me.

Thank you so much, Gigi-D, the Zielo Cave, and The Murder of Me, and fare thee well, my friend.

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666writingcafe · 2 months

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You can write that MI!MC becomes a baby because of Mephistopheles and Mephistopheles will have to take care of him without the demon brothers knowing but they discover it

The concept of Mephistopheles taking care of a baby version of MC sounds interesting, and I've been mulling it over in my head ever since I first saw this request. The main thing that I've been wondering is what Mephistopheles would have done to turn MC into a human, because it doesn't seem like the sort of thing he would do, accidentally or otherwise.

So, for the sake of fulfilling this request, I have changed who the culprit is. I will try to keep everything else the same.

Mephistopheles Becomes a Babysitter

Told From Mephistopheles's Point of View

I hate my life sometimes.

I literally just got settled into my room after a long, exhausting day of editing when someone loudly knocks on my front door. Couldn't they have waited at least five minutes?!

However, I cannot refuse whoever has decided to drop by. It would be incredibly rude, and someone in my position should remain polite and civil in the face of company.

So, a simple groan as I leave the comfort of my room will have to do.

Opening the door reveals nothing at first.

"Stupid teenagers," I grumble. For some reason, there's a group of them that enjoys the childish game "Ding Dong Ditch". They like to leave nasty surprises on people's porches. I've interviewed a few of their victims.

I'm about to shut the door when I hear the sound of cooing. Looking down, I'm greeted with the sight of a...

Baby carrier?!

I swear, if those kids decided to steal someone's literal child...

I kneel down to take a closer look at the baby inside. His eyes light up when he sees me, implying that I don't scare him. Odd. Usually babies don't like strangers.

Wait.

Why does he look familiar?

The baby wraps his hand around the envelope resting on top of him, bringing my attention to it.

"Do you mind if I have it?" I ask. Surprisingly, he lets go. It's as if he understood what I was saying, which doesn't make any sense. He appears too young to have that level of comprehension.

I carefully open the envelope and take out the note inside.

Mephisty,

I hope you don't mind receiving this delivery. I didn't know who else to turn to, since everyone else that comes to mind would turn me in right away. This is the result of an experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong, and I need time to look for an antidote. I promise I will pay you back for your time.

-S

"Dammit, Solomon," I mutter. Even if he didn't sign the letter, I would have known it was from him. He's the only one that calls me "Mephisty", because in his words, it rhymes with "bestie".

For the record, we are nowhere near besties.

Looking back at the baby, everything clicks.

This isn't just any old baby.

No.

"I keep telling you to limit your time with him, but you never listen." MC narrows his eyes in an attempt to glare at me. It honestly looks like he's seconds away from pooping himself.

At least he still understands what I'm saying. If he didn't, this would be a lot more difficult for me to manage.

"Alright then," I sigh, picking up the carrier and taking it inside. "You know, you're lucky I helped take care of my brother when he was your age." MC blows a raspberry at me in response.

Couldn't Solomon have at least gotten rid of MC's attitude?

~~~

A week goes by without much incident, which is pretty par for the course. Those brothers get so wrapped up in their own drama that they often fail to pay attention to the world around them, so they probably haven't noticed that their beloved MC has disappeared.

Speaking of MC, he's quite the handful. I understand that he's annoyed at Solomon--I am, too--but I wish he didn't take that out on me. I'm not the one that turned him into a baby.

Then again, MC and I have never had the best relationship, so perhaps their behavior is to be expected. I can't help but be wary of him. The amount of power he has is dangerous, and while he hasn't done anything overly nefarious with it so far, I still have my concerns. MC's still human, after all, and power tends to corrupt humans. And this isn't me being prejudiced against humans or anything like that; I'm merely citing material. There's been so many incidents over humankind's existence that it spans several volumes of books. And those just contain the more notable cases.

But MC is more manageable in this form. I mean, how much damage can a baby do to the Devildom, really? And I'm not talking physical damage, because I know babies enjoy breaking things.

Especially this one.

Currently, however, he's allowing me to hold him so that I can ensure that they get rid of any excess air in their stomach.

"Easy does it," I murmur to him. After a few minutes, I feel the towel on my shoulder get wet.

"There you go. Good job." I adjust how I'm holding MC so that they can see my face. "Do you want me to read you a story?" A sharp, disapproving noise.

"Okay, not that. How about listening to music?" A brief pause, and then another shriek.

"Playtime?" MC rejects the idea, opting instead to reach out towards my face.

"Do you want me to keep holding you?" Finally, a satisfied noise. Thankfully I don't have anything major happening anytime soon, because when MC wants to be held, he doesn't want to be put down for a couple hours at least.

"Those brothers aren't paying enough attention to you, are they?" Something that sounds like "nuh-uh". "Those bastards."

For some reason, that makes him giggle. I think that's the first time I've intentionally made him laugh. I hate to say it, but it's a bit heart-warming.

A loud knock at the door interrupts the moment. Unfortunately, I can't set MC down. Even if they don't start wailing, they'll get up to some mischief.

"Hopefully that's Solomon with the antidote," I tell him as I walk to the door. "Otherwise, this is going to be rather..." Opening the door reveals a rather unpleasant surprise.

"...awkward." Satan and I stare at each other for a few seconds. I forgot I lent him one of my spellbooks. Eventually he clears his throat.

"Well, I was beginning to wonder where MC went," he states.

"I didn't do this," I quickly reply.

"I know. This is Solomon's doing, no doubt."

"He was supposed to find an antidote, but I haven't heard anything from him since he dropped MC off." Satan sighs.

"He probably got sidetracked." MC shrieks, causing Satan to tilt his head. "Is it just me, or did MC--"

"Oh, he understands what we're saying. He just can't use words to communicate at the moment."

"So, a baby with the mind of an adult. Got it." Satan pauses. "We need to pay him a visit." Momentary angry babbling from MC.

"I know, MC, but you can't do much right now," I try to comfort him. He grumbles, and Satan widens his eyes in disbelief.

"You know what he's saying?" I shrug.

"Somewhat. There aren't any coherent words, obviously, but that doesn't stop him from trying to talk."

"Well, what did he say?"

"Something to the effect of 'I wanna kick his butt!'" Excited noises from MC. Satan smirks.

"And you've always said you've never been overly fond of MC." This prompts him to blow a raspberry at Satan, as if he's poking fun at him.

I take the book from Satan and set it and the towel down on a nearby table before meeting him outside.

"Do we tell the others about this little mishap?" I ask Satan as we begin walking towards Solomon's place.

"Not unless we have to. I don't want you to be yelled at for something that wasn't your fault." He's mainly referring to Lucifer, who loves to blame me for the tiniest inconveniences, but the rest of the brothers would probably freak out as well.

And honestly?

I don't want MC to be spooked by a sudden increase in noise. He'll start crying, and I'll have no choice but to tell them off for scaring him.

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me mephistopheles #obey me satan #obey me solomon

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grogusmum · 10 months

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Seven Tears part 6

SELKIE!EZRA X F!READER

WORD COUNT: 2500ish

SERIES SUMMARY: Months after being abandoned, she does something rash and summons a selkie, who wishes to bring her comfort and maybe more.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Summer moves quickly on Roan Inish, Pearl and Cee grow close and the baby is born, but the fall brings the annulment at last, and with it there is retaliation and a choice is made.

WARNING: Olde Timey gender norms and sexism, though set in mid-20th century Ireland, and Ireland's predominantly white, Reader is physically undescribed, as are her blood relatives, her missing spouse, and his family are white, reader gives birth (not described), Cee in peril, ANGST, Colin and Jamie continue to be horrible people, Ezra is a selkie, yes, it deserves its own warning, excessive use of pet names, painful cliffhanger - its going to be okay, I promise! (as always see something say something. please let me know in my DMs if there is a warning I missed)

A/N: Welp, at 364 days since the last update- it hasn't been a literal year since the last chapter... After I finally got it down and started editing I realized why I had such a block. At least part of it anyway... This is a tough one. I understand why I kept diverting to writing side fics with sexytimes, new-fangled doodads, flashbacks of shenanigans, and so forth. While I was figuring out this chapter, and well into writing it, I spent most of the time saying to Ezra, can we just make breakfast and snuggle??? Of course, he's no help because he says yes let's. Like so many of my penultimate chapters, it's a cliffhanger and a painful one, and I am so very sorry. But I am not stopping and taking a break to do other fics. I will be writing part 7 this weekend.

Gaelic Translation (with a dash of history)

Móra dhuit ar maidin: good morning, is a twist on the traditional Dia dhuit ar maidin which means God (be) with you. Some believe this is where the infamous “Top of the Morning” Mor meaning big, Mora believed to be a “lost word”. However, it was discovered that in fact, this is one of the quite rare surviving pagan blessings. Mór was a significant goddess (note: attributes quite different to the Morrigan or Mór Ríon, even if sometimes mixed together) with many avatars. Of course, this all can be debated to the end of time, when one’s religion and language are made illegal so much is lost.

Gaeilge translation

A ghrá: love

Mo stór: Literally translating to “My treasure,” this phrase is often used to mean “my darling.”

Part 5

Series Masterlist

‘You would have to become a selkie yourself.’

Ezra stopped further conversation that night about it. “Today has been long and arduous, and not the hour for decisions of this magnitude, Moonbeam.” He had said, then unfairly distracted you as only he can.

Your time on the island was magical. You cleaned out the other cottages and your parents brought some basic furniture. The cottages were sparse but appointed with the necessaries to visit comfortably. The visits from your family and Tilda and Fergus were lovely. Because your relocation was for your safety and protection, no one knew beyond that circle. You knew you would miss your friends and cousins. But for now, you were distracted from missing them too badly because Cee came to visit, often. It was new to her, and she found it great fun. She would look at her human feet or hands and laugh with wonder, she would tell you later ‘wonder at their ridiculousness’. You noted fondly that she had a little bit of her father’s laugh.

The first time she came up out of the water you got to see the transformation firsthand. Her flippers felt for the seam under her snout, invisible to the eye. She then pulled it apart and a blonde teenager emerged.

Blonde. You looked at Ezra, flabbergasted. To which he said-

“There is a saying, my Pearl, all toads are frogs but not all frogs are indeed toads. Uncommon it may be, but one needs only look for the sea storm in her eyes to know.”

Cee came and went from the shoals, and Ezra reminded you not to worry, that as your belly rounded with every week that passed, he would be the worrier in the family.

Spending the morning fishing with your Da and Thomas, Ezra is gone when you wake. This is his way of thanking them as they usually have other supplies for you. Cee emerges from her bed which is curtained off in one corner of the great room, as you set out two bowls of porridge.

“Móra dhuit ar maidin (MOR-uhg(w)itch air MA-jin), Cee”

“Móra dhuit ar ma–” Cee yawns openly, “jin. Where is me Da?”

She, then, sniffs the oats hopefully.

“Fishing,” You tell her. “Why don' you cut some apples, dear.”

“With hooks and a line?” Cee chuffs as she sets to the task. You can not help joining her mirth.

You are with Cee on your own for the first time-

“You must have missed Ezr- your Da. I did not know I was keeping him from anyone- I would have encouraged him to visit. I am truly sorry, Cee.”

“‘tis the nature of things,” Cee says, mouth full of apples and oats, “besides if he were to slip back into his pelt and visit, he could not return to you for seven years. He has loved you a long time- everyone knows that!”

You are taken aback, you hardly register the sweet knowledge that she and others in his pod knew his love for you, thinking about the fact that if he goes in he can not return for seven years. Seeing her come and go, you assumed, with no small amount of relief, that bit was a myth, and you tell her so.

“Oh, I can come and go, because I am a natural-born selkie. Da was turned.”

“How was he turned?”

“Well,” Cee starts, “ehm, that is probably a story he ought tell you. Though he don' really like to tell that tale.”

By the time of Ezra return, Cee’s words were pushed out of your mind. For the pair of you had gathered seaweed and dug clams for luncheon, and you had felt your first real kick from the baby.

“Pearl! Come sit,” Ezra pulls you into the house. “You need to rest.”

Sitting you down by the fireplace, he settles on his knees, splaying a large warm hand on your lower belly, soft brown eyes on you, hoping to feel another kick.

“How does everyone?”

“Very well, Moonbeam,” Ezra absently runs his hand over the expanse of your middle, then drops his head on your lap. “Patrick had some supplies for us as well.”

“Any news?”

“Well…”

“What, a ghrá (uh GHRAH)?”

“Colin and his brother are still ragin’. Dierdre is making progress with the annulment, tis not sitting too well, it seems.”

“Pity sake”

“He deserves none," Ezra's eyes darken and you see his selkie nature for just a moment.

On the longest day, your water breaks at 4 a.m. The gift of midsummer's day is that daylight is already breaking, and Ezra can take the currach out right away and fetch your mam. The whole of the family comes back with Ezra and waits outside the cottage as Deirdre and Felicia help you bring young Rory into the world, with Ezra attached to your side.

When Rory's shoulder breaches its final barrier with your last mighty push, he slips like a seal into your mother’s waiting arms.

Ezra kisses your glistening brow and with a whoop, he runs to the window to shout to kin both seal and man-

“Tis a boy! With a shock of red hair from who knows where!” To which everyone whooped and laughed hardily.

“It’s midsummer! That’d be the faeries doing!” Hugh calls.

“Someone tell that boy to hush,” Deirdre says to no one in particular, shaking her head and crossing herself. She hands off the swaddled babe to Felicia, who brings him to you. Your Mam goes to the fireplace takes up an iron poker and draws talismans into the ash, muttering about faeries, calling St. Bridget to protect the home and all dwelling within.

You, Ezra, Rory, and Cee grow more in love with every passing day. There is nothing Cee enjoys more than when Rory is in his boat cradle, being lulled in the shallows tethered to a rope you hold fast to. During his fussy times, it is the only thing that calms him. She swims round and round it, bobbing up to check on him. Ezra barks his laugh at Cee’s antics and in the evenings he holds his son close, nosing his cheek and murmuring in the old way. And of course, any chance he gets, he brings you closer to him than many would find humanly possible. Nights are spent worshipful, in one another's arms. When the babe is wakeful, Ezra brings him to you, and when Rory is fed and dozing he silently takes him back to his cradle.

Summer rushes past as it has a habit of doing and autumn comes. Plans are set for this morning to go to the mainland to sign papers for your annulment.

“Tis finally here,” you sigh, kissing Ezra, the baby dressed and ready for a boat ride. “I’ll go to the church and get this settled at long last and meet you at the pub?”

“Agreed, mo stór (mu store)” Ezra says as he carries out a basket to the currach, he sets it in the boat and then helps you aboard, as you hold Rory.

The tide is with you as is the wind, so your trip is uneventful and swift. Ezra kisses your cheek and takes the baby for Tilda and Fergus to see and you head up to St Bridget’s to finally wash your hands of Colin. You smile as you walk the familiar cobbled road, excited butterflies in your belly. You remember to be watchful, knowing Colin and Jamie, this day is sure to stir up a hornet's nest. All is quiet, but you start to feel as though it is too quiet.

Ezra brings Rory into the pub, head up, bursting with fatherly pride, and Tilda comes round the board, hand on her heart. She takes up the baby as she gives Ezra a peck on the cheek.

“You may never get the wee one back,” Fergus laughs.

“Look how big you’ve gotten!” She coos.

“He is but a weed of a thing, growing faster-” No sooner does Ezra sit to catch up with his friends, does Hugh run into the bar, holding a stitch in his side. Ezra stands, his nostrils flaring as his eyes go dark, as if the barometer just fell and he could feel a dangerous storm brewing.

“I was- I was down at the docks-” he gasps trying to catch his breath. “Cee was there, knew it was the- the big day. But Colin-”

Ezra was on him, hands like vices on his shoulders.

“Ezra!” Tilda commands. He let go but the huff of his breathing bristles his mustache.

“What about Colin,” Ezra’s voice is like nothing they have ever heard. Rory fusses.

“He’s got Cee in a net, started dragging her out. Da -.”

Ezra bellows.

“Watch over Rory, Tilda. Hugh, does she know?”

“No, I came here first. Thomas has a boat- one with a motor-”

“Good lad,” Ezra breathes and storms from the pub, Hugh following behind.

At the dock, Ezra prowles up and down, until Thomas comes into view.

“Over there!”

Ezra looks at the small vessel with an outboard motor, mildly distrustful.

“Hugh stay at the dock and keep watch. We will get to the boa-”

“No. Go back to the island.”

“Wh-”

“I need my pelt.”

Cee twists and bites at the net, angry at herself for getting caught. Knowing this was to get to you and Ezra. Other seals surround her, trying to help.

She barks, nostrils flaring, pointing with her nose behind her. Two seals peel off and go in the direction she indicates, while one stays with Cee.

Soon enough two gray seals like torpedoes reach Ezra, flanking the port and starboard bows. Their heads come above the surface and one barks.

"Go on ahead to the island, in the hamper at the end of the big bed. Fast. Meet me back at this boat. Mind the propeller," Ezra shouts over the wind and motor.

The seals put out a burst of speed, porpoising in and out of the water.

"What are you going to do?"

"You have to tell her," Ezra's voice breaks, eyes rimmed red. "Tell her, I will return even if she can't bring herself to come to me. I will-"

"Ezra?"

"I promised," he wails, "I have never promised anyone anything- only she! But I can't let Cee-"

"She'll understand."

"I'm deserting her!"

"I will tell her."

"Is there anything to write with?"

Thomas rummages a bit and pulls from his pack, a small notebook with a pen tucked in its spine.

Ezra takes it and begins scribbling frantically.

Jamie’s boat speeds along, gulls scold them, and seals chase. Colin and Jamie jeer at them, determined to take their offense out on the young selkie. Heedless of the long-held taboo and the consequences that can befall entire villages, for harming a seal. Whether or not they know Cee was a selkie or a seal, they laughed in bad humor and wondered if one of them would make wife of her. They are both quite lucky Cee could not hear their base chatter.

After chewing at the net for some time, Cee finally breaks through the net, barking a laugh of triumph. When she slips free, she rolls and tumbles with her companion in celebration. When she has had her fill, she bobs in the water watching as the craft continues east. Cee barks at the other seal and sets after the boat at top speed. Only after she chews the netting that held her captive to shreds, does she make way to the mainland. But it is not long before she is faced with her mistake.

You arrive at the pub in good spirits, but your relaxed smile is wiped clean off at the sight of the faces within. Your face falls further seeing Tilda with Rory, and Ezra nowhere to be found.

"Where-"

For the second time today, Hugh bursts in like the devil is at his heels-

"C-cee-"

"Is she alright?" Tilda says standing.

"She is! She- she got away, but she's ragin' on the stand!"

The lot of you pour out of the pub. Fergus tosses out a lone customer and locks up behind. Hugh hastily explains what he knows, as your eyes become saucers. At the beach Cee is half out of her coat, as she is covered with the blanket that Tilda had the forethought to bring, she seethes-

"Da went after 'em. He didn’ know I broke free on me own until after he’d done it! He's angrier than I have ever seen!"

"Are you alright? Are you hurt at all?" Your eyes search her.

"He's not mad at that- well he is bu' he's fit to be tied because-" Cee's words pull up short, she looks like she might cry. "He thought- he- put on his pelt. I- I'm sorry."

You look as though you've been struck in the face, but you rub her shoulder absently hoping she knows you do not blame her.

"He's gone after the boat, he wi- he'll sink it," Cee finishes.

"Where's Thomas?" Asks Hugh.

"I'm here!" Thomas runs down the rocky steps, and hands you the note.

My shining Pearl,

I am loath to break my promise and beg your forgiveness.

Do I dare remind you that we spoke of you coming with me?

Though I admit that conversation was far from over.

Do I presume to ask for this gift?

Would you don a silken seal coat, mo ghrá?

Would you do this for me though I hardly deserve it?

Yours forever,

Ezra

When you finish reading, you find yourself turning a lost circle, pebbles shifting underfoot.

"I- he-" You look down at the note again, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"He didn't want to!" Thomas says, beside himself.

"Of course, he didn't," Dierdre soothes.

Trembling, you rush to Tilda grasping her hands. Blinded by the tears that refuse to fall, you don't see what everyone else can see plain, she knows your question and hates the answer.

"The Maiden and the Seal-lord! She- she was able to take her grandmother's pelt! You have one from yours, yes? Please yes!"

The waves crash, as though very ocean can not abide your tears.

"Darlin, my seal gran has too many greats in front of it to tell us, even if I could dig it up and give it to you," Tilda holds your panicked face in her worn hands. " Which I would, I most surely would. But it would not transform you- for no matter how close I hold you as kin, you must be a blood relation. Your way… if you wish it, it will be harder."

Your wail breaks her heart, gulls echo your cry.

You take Rory in your arms, the note crushed in your hand, and climb Widow’s Rock.

"Ez-ra!"

Deirdre sends everyone back to the house and carefully climbs the rock. She wraps her arms around you and Rory.

"For right or wrong, God forgive him. He will sink that boat and come back to you, even if he can't take off his coat."

You nod in response, eyes on the open water-

"I need to talk to Cee.”

Part 7

💚THANK YOU FOR READING💚REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED💚

If you care to read more of my stories you can find my masterlist here and if you would like to be tagged for any of my fics you can find my handy dandy taglist form here.

#selkie ezra x reader #ezra (prospect au)#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fic #selkie #selkie ezra #ezra (prospect) x f!reader #selkie au

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potatogirlll · 1 year

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so, jojos and autism

Since it's 7 am and i have nothing else to do, I've decided to compile a list of Jojo characters that i think may be autistic. Because there are. A LOT.

Part 3

Jotaro: dude. He is literally THE most autistic anime character I've ever seen in my entire life. How he gets upset over stupid shit but remains calm during actually distressful situations. How he's mostly quiet and his expression is always the same. HOW HE THINKS EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT HE IS THINKING. and also that one clip with koichi where he is UNABLE to make small talk. Yeah

kakyoin: Self isolated masking child prodigy that memorizes random trivia he finds and uses it as a conversation starter. Literally feels like he is alone in the world and no one can understand him because no one tries and no one can, he also has an extremely internalized displeasure and apathy towards the world... This is mostly subtext but if you pay attention its there, i love my boy

Part 4

Kira: extreme anxiety over his nails, masks all the time, kind of infodumps, lack of empathy, obsession with his routines, etc. This one i am not so sure about, as he definetely has antisocial personality disorder and his obsessions with his routine and his nails could be interpreted as OCD. just some thoughts

rohan: OK HEAR ME OUT. No social awareness, has a very specific way of writing his manga, DOESNT CARE WHEN HIS HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN AND WANTS TO KNOW HOW JOSUKE CHEATED. Licks a fucking spider and doesnt see the problem!!!!!!! ik yall hate him (affectionately????) but i just had to say this.

Part 5

Giorno: usually monotonous voice, thinks outside of the box, always the same expression, socially distant. This one is mostly a gut feeling, but it could also be interpreted as him being a very traumatized kid.

Part 6

Weather Report: RAPTOR HANDS? ONLY WHISPERING TO PEOPLE HE TRUSTS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE HE DOESNT KNOW? TIPTOEING??? yeah

Anasui: (disclaimer: i hate jolysui i hate him as a person i hate how the manga did him i hope he just stays in his little queerplatonic relationship with weather while taking care (very horribly might i add) of emporio and never is exposed to the outside world. i love him. ughhhhh) lack of social cues, especially with jolyne, obsession with dismembering things, extreme emotional outbursts,,, the signs are there, but it could also be interpreted as ocd, ocpd and intermittent explosive personality disorder, respectly. whatever.

Pucci: uses prime numbers as stimming mechanism, kind of sees social interactions unconventionally, lack of empathy (but not as much as kira, also no clear malicious intent, so i dont think hes coded as a psychopath?). Again, could be interpreted as OCD.

not gonna add foo fighters because theyre literally plankton but they do have autistic traits

i havent finished part 7 and havent started part 8. as of writing this, part 9 currently just released its first chapter, and i dont see any autistic traits in any of the characters rn. might edit this in the future and add anyone that i might have missed or just discovered through reading the later parts. Thats all i wanted to say, thanks 4 reading

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gaorin · 1 year

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I am extremely upset. I have discovered that more legs does not mean the caterpillar is the fastest.

Caterpillars travel less than 12 ft per hour. I have been fooled, lied to, and conned. (Edit: my math is horribly incorrect but worm is still faster)

#polls #bug race

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safely-in-vhagars-belly · 3 months

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Ashes burn (Dark!Aemond x ASABFO (Asigned at birth female oc/reader) ((oc is nameless)) chapter 4: i am bad at naming chapters (will edit this later)

Aemond x fem oc/reader

Tags: Show setting, book setting, gore, dubcon and Dark!Aemond

🔷Summary: Your hometown has fallen and you become Aemond targaryen's pet.

🔷Author's note: I like to think that this Aemond and Snowfalls Aemond write each other letters to compete in who is the bigger asshole of them both, i wouldnt know. As always: This is a dark! Aemond fic. You do not find him being a unicorn here. He is not kind. He is not friendly. He does not want you to meet his mother. Go away if dark themes offend you because this fic is not for you and thats fine.

🔷Wordcount :around 6k. ( thats huge)

Warnings below the cut but god knows its dark

taglist: @jamespotterismydaddy

Warnings: Suicide, rape (but does not occur between oc/aemond ((dubcon does happen) murder, blood, stabbing, sex, p in v, oral sex (m rec. f rec.) clear insane Aemond, blood and knife kinks, murder kinks, Aemond being unworthy of air for 6k words straight. Looking on as someone gets f*cked (idk the word) and trauma and blood and gore as well as drinking.

Still here?

Awesome! lets go

You like to think of yourself as a sane, average woman with a good working head. It never failed you yet, despite whatever life had thrown at all.

Growing up a bastard was difficult enough as it is. Your new stepmother and her stepdaughters did not make that easier. Your father’s expectations about your future, did not make that easier and your ever wondering about who possibly could be your mother, did not make it easier at all.

Life has been nothing but difficult, yet you count the blessings, the lights in the dark. The smaller turnips during a famine and the raindrops in a desert. It is not much, by a long shot. Not enough to dull the pain, that is for certain. But it is enough to keep forcing yourself to set your left foot in front of the right one, to keep your head up and to keep going.

It has to be enough.

That was until this morning, when your little sister Diandra rode off to meet the soldiers of King Aegon, second of his name, laying siege to your hometown. Diandra is aged 4 and ten yet she has the courage of a man of thirty. You followed her into the battlefield, as she was openly insulting the man leading the siege, Prince Aemond Targaryen, the one eyed prince, or the sapphire Prince, as many call him.

Aemond executed your brother, took his eyes out, and kept you as a ‘’pet’’. He told you he would not be cold during his stay at your family’s estate, and you would be the reason for that. You have tried to sneak away, but so far Aemond has discovered your attempts and punished you mercilessly for each attempt you took.

Diandra is locked up in the dungeon, likely cold and shivering, missing her stuffed plush toy she can’t sleep without, together with your other family members.

Aemond does not care about gold. Aemond sees them as traitors to the realm for helping Rhaenyra’s cause. He would sooner let another man take his other eye, than let traitors roam free again. He prefers killing them, you’ve seen it before when he fed the men in your father’s army to his dragon, laughing as he cut off limbs, as a little boy who was granted a present for his name day.

You never saw anything so frightful as his smile whenever he sees his prey bleed. You never heard a sound as horrible as his laugh, convinced he shares it with the Stranger himself. The same dead tone, the same hollowness and yet the illusion of softness, well spoken and gentleness. Things he does not possess.

The feast he threw in his own name, to celebrate the conquest of your hometown, ended barely half an hour ago. Yet your servants are already cleaning up the decorations, working quickly under the watchful eye of soldiers that carry the famous golden dragon on their chest, the symbol of Aegon, Aemond’s older brother.

You are standing next to Aemond, your long yet sleeveless green gown with open back and inviting neckline all that protects you from the cold winds. He picked it out for you, not caring much if you would be cold. It was clear that he finds you attractive in this cloth, and that was all that mattered to him.

As the Prince briefly plays with his goblet, watching the red wine flow over the edge every time, you notice that the Dornish commander comes out of the shadows, approaching you both. He makes a bow for Aemond and addresses him without awaiting acknowledgement. ‘’My prince. What shall we do with the corpse of Lord Dawreyn?’’ You think back of how Aemond handed you the sword and gave you the option.

Kill your own father or watch him butcher everyone in this town. Aemond was delighted when you picked up the sword. How delighted he was then, not so long ago, in theory, so annoyed he is now. He is as fickle as a candle, dancing on the whims of the elements, of whatever bothers him. ‘’Any suggestions, Cole? I don’t have the faintest idea what to do with him.’’ He says, surprising you.

You have never known him to not have an idea for as long as you know him. You assumed he would have a wicked evil plot for your father’s corpse, but that is not true, after all. Perhaps he only pretends to be a monster. You know that your family members usually are laid to rest in the Dolkburg Crypt under the estate of your home. ‘’We have a family crypt.’’ You tell the prince, speaking gently and causing both men to look at you. ‘’It is a tradition my father is to rest with his kin.’’

Aemond makes a funny little noise, close to a scoff and a chuckle at once, and you feel your courage die off. ‘’You think I will allow a traitor and a rebel to peacefully find rest in his beloved crypt? Furthermore, you think I allow you to decide such matters?’’ He shakes his head, laughing as he grabs hold of your hips, his cold fingers touching your chin as well, cleaning your forehead of blood. Your father’s blood.

You fight briefly in his arms, seeking escape and help. Aemond’s grip only tightens, his smirk growing dangerous and predatory. ‘’You know what, sweet Pet? Just because you suggested it, just because you dared to stick that little bastard nose of yours where it certainly does not belong, I’ll think of a cruel punishment for both you and your father’s corpse.’’ You regret speaking up, but know that uttering an apology will only make it worse.

Aemond stares in the distance, likely to where his dragon is awaiting him, guarded by soldiers. Women and men scream in the background, yet you only hear the women's cries and the laughter, the sickening laughter of his soldiers as they commit the one after the other unspeakable crime.

‘’Hm. His head is to be brought to me, I have plans with it. The legs can be put on the spikes of the gates, and his cock? We will send that to my traitor sister, the so-called ‘Queen.’ I know for one she likes her men at least twenty years older than she is.’’ He laughs at his own joke, likely something you don’t quite understand and smirks at Cole, who tries to hide his disgust very well. ‘’And perhaps she’ll finally have some pleasure this way in ways my uncle failed to satisfy her, and stop this silly little fit of hers, and quietly roll over as a good woman would and stop pestering us all with her ‘’claim’’.’’ Viserys named her his heir. It is no claim. And if it is, it is on an equal scale as that of King Aegon. Yet you don’t say this.

You look around you, noticinging you are the only woman left. Most servant girls have been taken elsewhere by Aemond’s men, likely into the taverns. You begged him earlier for their release, to which he only laughed and said that they were entitled to a few ladies, as they bled for this town. You were close to ripping his silver hair out, one hair by one. You promised your father that you would keep this town safe, and what do you do? You entertain this murderer, this kinslayer and this war criminal. Because you are a coward.

‘’I’m off for tonight. If anything happens, you’re in charge, Cole.’’ Aemond says, addressing the commander. His fingers grasp your chin, forcing you to look up at him. ‘’I have plans that involve trying out my new beloved Pet.’’ You let out a shaky breath.

It should scare you, being alone with the prince. In some ways, it does. It mostly terrifies you. But fear is a funny thing. It awakens bravery in souls that have never been brave their entire lives. Only when one is scared, one can be truly brave.

Prince Aemond has been drinking, quite a bit if your counting is correct and quite quickly, almost throwing down the one after the other cup of wine. Perhaps if you can make him take a bit more, he’ll pass out and sleep without bothering you. Wishful thinking, perhaps. An opportunity, for certain. Your father did the same with Diandra and you whenever you couldn’t sleep.

Aemond hooks his arms in yours, dragging you off to your childhood home. The closer you come, the more screams can be heard inside the property, as well as laughter, begs and things breaking. It sounds like glass, and when you lift your head you watch as a servant girl throws herself down the highest floor, screaming as she lands face down on the tiles, her head scattering open as a ripe and juicy piece of fruit. Blood and gore jumps out of her head, as if it are little snakes enchanted by the flute of a singer. It ends up everywhere and yet nowhere at once. It is on the tiles and your gown, but somehow, it does not hit you yet that this has happened. It is as if your mind has closed itself, guarding itself against more pain and trauma.

That awful, awakening feeling of realization, the conclusion that this is forever, irreversible and your fault, comes within a second, yet it takes forever.

You are frozen, completely shocked as you take in the red bloodied spots by her legs and assume she was likely raped before she jumped. You never saw someone kill themselves before. She was your lady. And you failed her.

Aemond simply steps over her body, as if she is not there. ‘’Pet, follow.’’ He barks. You lift your dress to avoid more blood on it, and step over her corpse too, whispering a silent prayer for her soul. And an apology that you failed her.

—

Aemond brings you inside the bedroom of your father, the biggest bedroom in the house. It is likely why he picked it out for himself. You notice that for a man with such a hideous scar, he is quite vain. Perhaps that is the reason as well.

Daros is following closely behind, chained and pushed behind you and Aemond and you quietly wonder if he will be forced to watch whatever Aemond plans to do with you.

‘’Tell me a bit about this room, Pet.’’ Aemond speaks after Daros has been tied up to a chair, and you are touching the silk fabric of your gown, enjoying the soft almost cutting feeling it gives you when you go a little too fast.

You think. What is there to tell? It does not have any stories. It is a room, used by the leading men of your family for generations. But there are no heroic stories or ghost stories that have happened between these walls. No bloody betrayls or secret weddings full of passion. It is just a room with four walls and a bed. It is nothing special.

It can never be as special as the man it belonged to. It can never be as special as your father.

Now it belongs to the worst person who ever set foot in your town.

Daros might have been tied up, but he is not gagged. He raises his chin, speaking on your behalf. ‘’This is the bedchamber of her father, Lord Samwell Dawreyn.’’ Hearing his name hurts you. It cuts open your heart and slices your soul.

At first, Aemond slightly tilts his head, his good eye clearing speaking ahead of his words by just twitching: He is enraged that Daros dares to speak to him, for you, and without any permission. He is envious that Daros is not afraid.

“Hm.” The prince simply comments. “So, it belongs to your father, little Pet? The old fuck you killed?” He asks, his eyes staring hungrily at your bloodied gown, likely recalling the moment where you killed him.

You still see his eyes whenever you close yours. You wonder if that will be forever. Or if one day the horrible day will come you can no longer recall his face.

Aemond briefly walks around the room, inspecting it. “This is likely the same room where your father fucked you into the whore that is your mother, Pet.” He joyfully concludes, shaming you.

But it hurts more that he drags your mother into this, calling her a whore as well.

“How ironic that you will lose your maidenhead in this very room as well.” He adds his voice sinister and a threat. He takes another sip of his wine as you sniffle. “I love it when fate has a good sense of humor.”

Unable to help yourself, you raise your hand at him, ready to strike any moment. He is not impressed and just chuckles as if he finds it very adorable. “O, you can do that, little pet. Get rough with me, and I sure will do the same with you. I don't mind it. I like it rough. I love it, in a sick twisted way.” He grins, staring at your tits as if he can already picture himself inside of you.

You frown at his words, worried that nothing will cross a line when it comes to him, and that nothing is sacred or holy when it comes to him. No crimes he won’t commit, no blood he will not spill, including your own.

He smiles, lowering his eye so he can look at you properly. “But you? Oh, darling. You wouldn't like it one bit.” He chuckles, and yes he is right. “Either lower your hand or deliver the slap.” He says after he has lost his patience, becoming bored and annoyed with you wavering.

You back down, helpless and afraid. You feel so small and useless. You tear up. He finds that very amusing. “My little craven pet. You are too scared to stand up to me, hm? I wonder why.” He takes his dagger out, touching your face with the even cold side of it.

“You have so many men.” You manage to stutter out afraid as the knife approaches your eyes closer and closer. You worry that one day he will bore himself with you and pass you down as a toy to his men.

He almost chokes on his own laughter, clearly finding it ridiculous that you are scared of his army.

‘’My men? My useless fucking soldiers scare you?’’ From what you’ve seen, they are anything but useless, clearly trained in warfare and combat alike.

You do not know why you are defending his soldiers. Perhaps to show and shame him into thinking he is not powerful as he thinks he is. Perhaps because you need to tell yourself lies why you don’t interfere with Aemond’s twisted plans and plots more. ‘’They helped you win this siege.’’

Daros lets out a breath you didn’t realize he was holding, and Aemond just rolls his good eye. ‘’If the battle had turned ugly, I would have happily burned them all and your town to ash.’’ He says and you don’t doubt him for a moment.

You whimper, afraid at these words, your lips trembling.

‘’Come here.’’ He murmurs against your ear, grabbing you so you won't be able to get away. He turns you to his front, placing the knife at your throat. His slender fingers find the fabric on your shoulders, that hold up your dress and the final piece of your dignity. He brings the knife under the fabric, cutting a cruel hole while you stand there, very close to him and held by your throat by his other hand. He rips the fabric of your gown, baring you naked for both him and Daros to see.

You at first cover yourself, as well as you can. That is until Aemond starts choking you, to warn you of that. Your hands that had cupped your breasts drop and he takes a good look at what is shielding beneath your legs as well as your breasts. Not a single inch of your skin is unknown to him anymore.

Aemond takes a step back to fully appreciate your beauty and your purity when Daros does his best to remain respectful, his eyes lowered at the ground. You appreciate his respect and his gesture.

The prince seems to notice your attention is no longer aimed at him. He becomes furious and turns around, watching Daros who stubbornly glares at the floor tiles instead. He curses, before storming over to Daros, yanking him up by his dark black hairs, and dragging his nails into his throat, spitting threats and orders at him. ’Watch her. Watch her, you fucking useless-’’ You back away, closer and closer to the walls of the rooms, aware you are only trapping yourself.

He exhales, calming himself down, at least, to give you the illusion that he is now calm. You know he is just playing you. ‘’You know what? For every moment your eyes are on the ground and not aimed at her, I'll spank her. Starting now.’’ He walks back to you, a grin on his lips.

You back away further until your back meets the wall. Prince Aemond slenters over to you, slow and tutorious until he finally pins you between his arms, not allowing you to move an inch. ‘’Not running from me, are you, little Pet?’’ He asks, his voice a bit raspy and his one remaining eye clearly deranged.

‘’Please do not hurt me.’’

‘’Sh, sweet thing.’’ He whispers when gently nibbling down on your neck, watching you gasp and twist. Until he finally delivers the smack, turning your body sideways so he can reach your ass, and deals a full cruel blow.

You cry out in pain.

‘’Hm,’’ He chuckles, delighted to hear the anguish and fear in your voice. ‘’Gods, you are a delight. Your cries are enough to make me hard, you know that?’’ He laughs. ‘’Come, little pet. You aren’t done yet, your friend isn’t looking, after all.’’

Finally, Daros looks up, tears running down his face as well. Aemond mutters something, clearly annoyed that his game is interrupted but does not force you to come with him anymore.

You turn to Daros who remains chained to the chair where Aemond put him. His bloodied nose has spread blood everywhere and you wish Aemond would give him something to clean his face with. ‘’Lovely tits, tight looking cunt. I am a lucky man.’’ Aemond smirks after he had a thorough inspection, taking in your body.

‘’Please make Daros leave before we make love.’’ You beg. ‘’He is as a brother to me.’’

Daros looks as if you stomped on his heart and Aemond just burst out into laughter. ‘’You hear that, you shit? Your soulmate thinks you are a brother. Even in my family we know what that means!’’ He laughs, and you understand you must have accidentally hurt Daros’s feelings.

Yet you hope that now that Aemond is amused, this might be a chance to get on his good side.

‘’So you'll...consider it?’’ You ask hopeful as Aemond's fingers gently brush aside your hair, touching your neck and untying your necklace for you. It drops to the floor, on your dress.

He stops laughing. You instantly become quiet and nervous too. ‘’You know what? I am done with your useless begs and endless whining. It's past time you learned what a pet is.’’ You do not think you’ll like learning it. He gently taps against your chin to get you to look at him. ‘’A pet obeys her master. You no longer will advocate for useless servants or people here. They are all mine to torment. As are you.’’ He says.

You worry you can not hold your one promise to your father. That you would protect your family and your town. ‘’Lay on the bed.’’ He says, folding his hands back on his back, giving you a clear order. You obey, climbing on the bed, laying on your stomach. You feel arousal between your legs and try to stop it at all costs.

Any woman in your position would not enjoy herself. Yet your body finds the prince attractive, despite his crimes and his horribleness. Perhaps it is what he said: Perhaps you are simply so eager for a husband, that you accept whatever comes your way, no matter how horrid the flavor is of this beautiful looking cake.

The prince glances at you. “Good girl.” He whispers in your ear. You are grabbed by your hips and flipped on the bed, your wet cunt now visible for him. He spreads your legs roughly, yanking them apart with just one hand. His other free hand vanishes in the triangle of your legs.

It feels odd to have someone else touch you there. And you can't help but enjoy yourself regardless.

But you are embarrassed and mortified that he will soon discover that you are wet. “Don't-” you beg but it is too late.

Judging by his heartless little chuckle and his spreading grin he can likely already feel just how wet you are for the Prince. His fingers softly pet and try out the limit of your body, gently pushing in.

“O, little filthy thing. Being so wet for me despite me treating you like shit. Your poor little maiden cunt is basically crying out for me.” He sighs, removing his fingers. You are a bit confused as to why he is leaving your body. Perhaps a bit angry too.

He smirks, knowing all too well you secretly enjoyed it. “Your little friend has a soaked drenched little cunt.” He speaks to Daros again who looked on as Aemond fucked you with his fingers.

Aemond grins at him, bringing his head close to your entrance. You watch as his tongue rolls out of his mouth, gently licking the wet smooth skin. You gasp, slightly twisting. The licks become sloppy, fast and hungry as you begin to feel even more aroused by this act of pleasure. You were never pleasured there before.

He seems to enjoy himself as well, moaning loudly at your wet sex as he takes the one after the other greedy lick. He takes his time with you. At some point he lets out a low soft moan, clearly licking away at your cunt, your juices ending up on his tongue, in his mouth as if he didn't drink for days and this is all there is for him.

You twist a bit, slightly turning but the prince slams your legs back down, to hold you firmly in place. You like the way his grip tightens and you feel calm for a brief moment.

You feel conflicting emotions. Hatred and shame and mostly disgust and just pure arousal and enjoyment. Your body likes it but your heart can't forgive him.

After having a proper taste, Aemond removes his tongue from your entrance, locking eyes with you as he allows his tongue to wetten his lips, likely spreading your taste all over it. He sighs in delight. He turns to Daros with a grin. “She tastes sweet. Almost as a perfectly riped strawberry, aching to be plucked.” You feel you clench yourself at his choice of words, softly breathing a little harder, arousal getting the better of you.

You still remain where you are, but do eye the door. “And pluck you I will.” He grins at you, smacking your wet and soaked cunny that still shimmers with his salvia. You cry out, helplessly and a little turned on by the gesture.

Prince Aemond grins, easily forcing you up to sit on your behind again. You look around for any ideas of what he could want. Instead of telling you what he plans, he simply forces your head down in a pillow, and forces your legs in a kneeling position.

Aemond forces your hands above your head, pinning them together.

“Remain like this.” He tells you, his voice is a bit strained. You give an obedient nod, your hands above your head and kneeling like a good girl.

“Come. You have to see this up close.” He tells Daros after he is freed.

“This is filthy.” daros comments. “I shouldn't see this. She doesn't want me to see this.”

You are thankful for his kindness.

“O, don't be a craven.” That is all prince Aemond says.

“You see how it's glinstering? Poor little Pet needs it so badly.”

“Don't you, little pet?” He asks. You give a soft shy nod.

To that the prince laughs. “Look at you, finally being honest to yourself. Do not worry, Sweet little pet. Soon.” He promises.

“You, you peasant. Take the chair and watch me fuck my pet.” He grins.

“She has a fucking name!” Daros leashes out. You are shocked at his outburst and worry that Aemond will break another part of his body now.

“I don't care.” Aemond says with a little shrug. “Neither will she. She is all I decide she is.” He feels your cunt one more time but you can tell its the final time when he undoes his pants and lowers them.

You can't help but watch the prince, curious to his manhood that is about to be revealed. Prince Aemond catches you watching and smirks. “Pet can deny it all she likes. She wants this.” He says slentering over lazily.

In submission, you bow your head, your desires getting the better off you. Your cunt is drenched for sure and your desires are high and rushing. Prince Aemond knows this.

Your legs are parted slightly, so that the prince may reach your forbidden fruit. You take a deep breath and close your eyes…

And take another quick sharp breath when the Prince's cock pierces through your maidenhead, destroying your innocence and throbs away at your wet cunt.

You gasp, a little louder as the pain begins to form, your body slightly twisting. The prince chuckles in your ear. “I'm almost in, pet. You do it well.”

“Almost?” You breath out, confused. The prince does not answer you and instead sinks in deeper, causing you to flinch and to cry out.

He is finally in, you have him inside of you. In a intimate place where no one has been before. And now that he is here, you never want him to leave.

You buck your hips back at his front, desire getting the better of you as you start to pant, your shame and ego leaving your body.

“See that? Such a eager little pet. I bet you imagined how she is like to fuck. To feel your cock take her walls and to feel her nippels harden and pierce.”

You forgot all about Daros but when Aemond picks back the torture session your head snaps.

Aemond forces it back with a firm yank at your hair, grinning and spitting at your face when you flinch. He leans in. “You want my attention? You got it, pet. Be a good girl for me and let me just make use of you.”

The prince's hard body part continues the journey inside you, this time there is no kindness or holding back. He simply keeps slamming inside of you, truly fucking you as you slightly close your eyes, barely containing your moans.

“Too much.” You beg, shivering and shaking with little electric shocks going all over your body.

Prince Aemond ignores you. “You will watch us both. You will watch your little friend here, fuck me, herself, and every fucking person in this shithole if I wish it. You'll watch her come and become a woman.” The prince tells Daros.

You try to interfere again but this time the Prince has spotted you. He glares before slamming back inside of you, this time spanking you roughly during the fucking he gives you.

Your cries become a soft mix of complaints and whimpers, leaving your mouth together with salvia as you eagerly buck back. You need him. You feel it builds to an extension where you can not handle it.

“Well, well, well.” He smirks, behind you still thrusting deep and steadily. “You watch her. Watch her close. This is going to be fun.” Prince Aemond declares.

Daros looks at your face, likely dirty of Aemond's spit early and your own drooling as well as sweat and dried tears and old blood. It truly looks like a mess you just know so.

Prince Aemond grins, panting as he grabs you by your hips, his cock finding your cunt once more. You are bent a bit lower, almost laying down when getting it as his thrusts only increase as does your desire. It builds rapidly as you dig your fingers into the mattress, your hips and back giving it your all to the prince.

You gasp, wanting to leave it. “S-stop it's too much.” You beg. To that he only laughs.

“So much…I can't handle..”

But he does not listen. He keeps fucking you, his rhythm becoming a hard and fast mix. Your nails are hurting as is your cunt but you need to reach your height. You need it.

The prince simply pulls you a little closer and whispers in your ear, the cock up your cunt. “You will come now, little bastard. You'll soak my cock and in return, I'll coat your cunny with cum. How does that sound?”

As an answer you buck.

He grins, returning to giving it his all with rough trust that causes you to cry out.

You feel like a chain that has snapped. You feel as a ball thrown in the air that finally lands and as a bird that reaches its nest.

You make a strangled little cry that starts soft but ends with a powerful shout that expresses your desire and need. You hear a chuckle behind you, belonging to Aemond who takes you now that you are weak and soft.

You can't take it anymore and that is when you break, on his cock and when you finally find pleasure. Your moans are fast and greedy as the prince allows you to come with a cheeky grin on his face.

After you are done for, you feel him grab your tired hips and sink inside of you, much more painful than he was before. He roughly trusts and you whimper.

After a rough few minutes you hear the prince hiss and feel him push one final time. “I'm going to come now, bastard.”

You hear him grunt.

You wonder what he means. That is until you feel a soft sharp pain and him finally leaving you be.

You sit up, looking at the bloodied spot at the sheets. Prince Aemond rubs his cock, as you lay on your side watching. When he is done there is white substance on his fingers. “Suck.” He tells you as if you are his mere pet.

You sit up straight, crying the moment that you do of muscle pain between your legs and your hips. Yet you bravely continue knowing the prince does not like to wait.

Your head is grabbed roughly and your mouth is forced open. The cock is put inside and your lips close around his head, sucking it.

The prince sighs of relief and pleasure, nodding in approval as you slowly work on his cock. “Such a good pet.” He says.

You like hearing that. “Coming on my cock, and in front of your friend who is in love with you.” Aemond grins cruelly.

You avoid looking at Daros and him both as you feel shame and clear regret building inside of you.

“Don't feel bad, little pet. You didn't stand a chance. That cunny wanted a cock so badly. I never had a bedmate that desperate.” you refuse to acknowledge him.

The prince takes his cock out now that it's cleaned. You sit back on the bed, your thoughts racing. Prince Aemond dresses himself, clearly not intending to stay with you. “Go sit against the headboard.” He tells you.

You obey at first.

Until you see he is holding chains. Your smile dies and your worry grows as you already shake your head. “No, this is not needed. I don't need-”

“I do not trust you to stay. I liked fucking you, pet. So I have no intention to let you go.” He reveals as he comes a little closer.

“What about me? What will happen now that you made me watch her fuck?” Daros asks, spitting out the question and glaring at you.

“You sound angry.” Aemond concludes with a smile.

“I am.”

To you he glares. “I can't believe I liked you. You are no better than your sisters. You are just as much of a slut. It should have been obvious when you killed your father you’d do anything for this sick fuck.’’ He says. ‘’O, and your mother? If she knew this, she would be disappointed. Yes, she is alive.’’

You receive the one after the other heartbreaking news and to hear today of all days that your mother is alive is madness.

And to hear that he knew. Perhaps a day. Perhaps a week. A month? A year? A decade?

It does not matter what he knew.

It does not matter what you know.

And judging by Aemond’s smirk he is not coming to your aid either.

You eye the dagger on the bed, rage controlling you and for the first time in your life, you feel free as you rush at it, grab it from the bed and prepare to stab someone with it.

At first Aemond looks afraid, scared and worried. You rush over, you take a leap and stab, right into the heart of…

Daros.

Aemond releases a gasp of surprise as you drive the dagger through Daros’s heard, rapidly stabbing him when tears and snot stream out of your eyes and nose. Your naked body becomes soaked with blood as you take your anger and frustration out on Daros.

You don’t stop until it has become awfully quiet around you. Aemond has taken a seat in a chair, watching you intrigued with clear lust in his good eye, playing with his eyepatch. You look down at the man you saw once as a brother, aware that you killed him.

You drop the knife.

You begin to cry.

And you shake his body so violently that a cut of his arm rolls off, that you somehow sliced off.

‘’Daros?’’ Come back. Fuck. No. No!’ You scream at his corpse, hitting him across his face with weak little slaps.

He is gone.

Aemond stands up when you scream, perhaps at the gods, perhaps at yourself. He kneels down beside you, kissing your bloodied hands and licking away the tears and blood in your face, his hands quickly disarming you before you can stab him. “I love it when you surrender to your dark desires.” He whispers. ‘’Now get to bed. I won’t ask again.’’ He ties you up and leaves you there, bloodied and naked. He walks past the corpse of Daros, chuckling before he takes the dagger out.

You watch as Aemond cuts loose his head, and kicks against it, sending it in the direction of the door. He picks the head up as if it's a ball and locks the door behind him when he leaves, leaving you in a confused and utterly broken mental state.

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dreamaze · 4 months

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.⟡. 2023 Year in Review .⟡.

cc year in review — every month in 2023 : link your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year

tagged by: @shorelinnes, @xiaojuun, & @gnanii, thank you lovelies! ♡ tagging (no pressure, & the gifs were extra!): @ye-xiu, @eggheons, @nervousnotion, @honeyimissjoo (if you’ve already done this, feel free to drop the link! ♡)

Hello!! A brief(ish) recap before the actual list. It’s been a pretty wild year in wingsland, mostly thanks to finishing up my second master’s degree in December (finally, BYE!). Looking back, I’m surprised at how much content I actually created, but this has been a refuge and source of comfort for me while running on fumes between work and school and general adulting. 2023 also marked some changes in my listening and sources of inspiration. I fell more out of interest with txt (apologies to all followers who were here for them… this is the second time this has happened, oops?) but fell even more in love with Monsta X while discovering some other new or new-to-me artists (more on that in another post). Reason was my first official comeback with them, and it really lit a fire in my brain. I have a few ongoing series that I intend to continue, whether they’re gifs or audio compilations. I giffed a LOT of besties (minhyuk + hyungwon, the soulmates of soulmate besties). It brings me so so much joy to work on those sets and the various audio edits or just being excited about musical details in my music box tag. I also managed to squeeze in a few angsty mv sets along the way, because tbh I feel like I am thriving most as a creator when something is pulling at the heartstrings. I know mbbblr has been quiet lately (and must seem exceedingly so to those who were around years ago), but I will keep being noisy about them until mx6 is reunited and beyond. Thank you for sticking around with me ♡

(P.S. I am calling these my favorites and audience favorites because what even is popularity on tumblr, and also I am horribly indecisive and can rarely stick to one. Please enjoy the occasionally unserious post descriptions!)

January ⟡ My favorite(s out of an unusually prolific month): ‘Beautiful Liar’ lyrics + reflected shots, control imagery, & Minhyuk/Changkyun choreo; besties livestreams ft. minhyuk about to get his ass kicked by an indignant noodle & besties again not fighting ⟡ Audience favorite: Reason concept ver.3 (where did all those notes come from) followed by Hyungwon in Love Killa/Gambler/Beautiful Liar

February ⟡ My favorite: Besties Lone Ranger recording, Honey PD ’괜찮아’ Recording (ft. bonus honey threatening offering to kiss minhyuk on the lips), Hyungwon ‘Beautiful Liar’ mv + photoshoot behinds, & the following ⟡ Audience favorite: Unofficial art director Lee Minhyuk

March ⟡ The (only) favorite: Hyungwon FRED x Marie Claire (my favorite photoshoot coloring of the year)

April ⟡ My favorite: Minhyuk in Reason era & besties ft. not-very-tsundere hyungwon ⟡ Audience favorite: Hyungwon John Varvatos x GQ

May ⟡ My favorite: Besties All In mv + filming (for the 7th anniversary of All In) & the following ⟡ Audience favorite: Lights album preview

June ⟡ My favorite: Overdrive & “always you and me” besties ⟡ Audience favorite: Minhyuk x Singles

July ⟡ My favorite: Hyungwon x MV water imagery ⟡ Audience favorite: 1/2 of besties enlists (sobwail)

August ⟡ My favorite: Fighter performance video (…ft. besties), besties massage (fail), & the following ⟡ Audience favorite: Changkyun x Marie Claire

September ⟡ My favorite: Jaechan ‘Time’ ⟡ Audience favorite: Minhyuk vs the prop pear

October ⟡ My favorite: Besties with or without mx ⟡ Audience favorite: A pretty Joohoney

November ⟡ The (only) favorite: Minhyuk x Floun

December ⟡ My favorite: Giuk 'My Blue' & the consequences of putting besties next to each other in dance relays ⟡ Audience favorite: Hyungwon Givenchy Beauty x Singles

#reused my calendar layout from last year because why not!#shout out to all the artists i loved & intensely listened to this year even if i did not create for them #you're in my heart if not in my cc archive #wings.original #kpop #for fun

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waitmyturtles · 10 months

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Theory of Love Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover Theory of Love, a polarizing show that was one of the first BLs to deep-dive into viewer subversion of commonly held judgements. THANKS SO, SO MUCH to the SWEETEST ToL friends EVER for watching along with me and offering your clarity and insight: @lurkingshan, @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle, @neuroticbookworm, @ginnymoonbeam, @manogirl, and if I forgot anyone, my apologies!]

It was inevitable, in this project, that I would begin crossing lines into territories of beloved vs. utterly hated shows. I had THAT experience in FULL last week with my review of TharnType and the subsequent public and private conversations that that show, and my thoughts on it, engendered. (And it was a FABULOUS experience, let me tell you -- thanks, ALL Y’ALL, for your thoughts and input on that show.)

[Before I dive into analysis, I just want to say that: if you’re impacted by Theory of Love, particularly by way of any experiences you might have had in your own past that you relate to in the show (especially with Third’s reactions to Khai’s behavior), that is VALID AND REAL. I learned in the aftermath of my TharnType review that I need to be a bit more clear about this, especially because of how divided the feelings are on TT and ToL, so: while this review is going to feature effusive praise for this show, I am, by no means, invalidating anything that anyone felt about relating to Third’s feelings or experiences. Those feelings are REAL. And please feel free to skip this review if you need to get away from Khai, etc.!]

So, Theory of Love -- it’s another one that has a heavily divided fanbase. You’re either in HEATED PASSION for this show, as I ended up being, or you PASSIONATELY HATE this show, and/or Khai himself as a character. Things that I heard about this show as I was putting together the watchlist, and as I began to watch it, were things like, “this show features heavy misogyny,” “this show has bad friend behavior,” “Third is treated horribly,” etc.

However, almost as SOON as I started watching Theory of Love, I realized that I was about to enter into a world of subversion, where I had to have my smell test strong and ready -- and I found it to be a FABULOUS experience.

I’m going to talk about a couple of themes here regarding ToL, as I usually do:

1) The tendency that we might have to fall into a compassion/sympathy bias, and how that clouds our judgement of characters, especially regarding their personal responsibility and accountability to others, 2) The large-scale impact of heteronormativity, 3) How behavioral change is massively difficult, 4) How we as populations and societies are ACTUALLY RESISTANT, OFTEN, to people around us changing,

and more, if I get to it -- because there’s a lot.

As soon as I started the first episode, I was like -- ooooh, FUCK, we’re gonna get played, aren’t we? Third/Gun’s tears. Sobbing in the shower with his clothes on. Raging in despair over Khai’s behavior with women.

First, I ran to MDL, and saw the screenwriters -- and I was like, OHHHHHHH. OKAY. I SEE WHAT WE GOT GOING ON HERE. Bee Pongsate, Pratchaya Thavornthummarut, and Au Kornprom -- some of the heaviest of hitters, in my opinion, authors and/or ADs of some of the best writing that I’ve seen on television (Bad Buddy, anyone?). (I saw a LOT of proto-BBS in ToL, which I’ll hopefully reference throughout this piece.)

When I saw these names, I knew I was in for an experience of emotional subversion, and that’s kind of when I started flipping my lid about this show -- right fucking away. And I felt that I knew what they were doing by giving us so much of Third’s despair, hot and heavy, from the very start.

Let’s backtrack for a moment. When Extraordinary Attorney Woo aired last summer, I referenced in a few of my posts the concept of implicit empathy bias. For Third, I’d adjust this nomenclature to call it our implicit compassion or sympathy bias, in that: we were presented with a very emotionally impacted person, right away, who really served as a foil in a human character to “translate” what Khai’s behavior meant to a larger circle outside of Khai himself.

What I wrote about Woo Young-Woo in EAW is that we as viewers had a responsibility to check ourselves on our having sympathy or even misplaced empathy for her. I argued: who were we to have sympathy for her? Woo Young-Woo was a fucking badass. She was a kick-ass lawyer, she had a hot guy after her tail, and she knew exactly what her preferences were in her life. Oh, and she probably made bank at that private law firm. She earned the respect of her seniors and was someone to be admired, not sympathized with, as an autistic lawyer.

Implicit compassion or sympathy bias is a concept that therapists need to be aware of when working with clients, as sympathy or misplaced compassion could lead to an unbalanced power differential. Therapists, out of sympathy for a client, may believe that a client may not BE ABLE to change their behavior on their own or with guidance, and may lead to implicit and/or explicit condescension. AND, worse of all (in my opinion): that may lead therapists to not encourage personal responsibility and/or accountability for their clients to own their feelings and their preferences, and allow a therapist to write off problematic behavior and approaches as unchangeable and/or acceptable, even if the client COULD benefit from modalities of change.

And so: Third. Crying in the shower. Despairing over Khai bringing home girl after girl. Raging in pain over his un-communicated love for his best friend.

Now, listen, before I get further: YES, at many points, Khai was a MASSIVE asshole. He even called that first kiss on Third a “colossal dick move” (I REALLY wanna know how to say that in Thai, lol). Asking your homey to leave your place and keeping him on the street all night -- bad. At least find your best friend a couch to crash on.

But there are two things here I want to tease out vis à vis the implicit sympathy bias concept. In the first few episodes, we see Third in his absolute dumps.

HOWEVER. The ways in which he’s either NOT communicating, or trying to communicate in INCREDIBLY passive ways? That’s on Third, and Third alone. Bro, don’t write on Khai’s shirt WHEN KHAI’S NOT AROUND! Dump those clichéd posterboards! If you want someone to know your feelings, you are RESPONSIBLE, on God, for doing that yourself.

Couple that with Third’s judgement of Khai’s behavior. He looked down on Khai’s behavior ... all while belonging to a friend group that was EXTREMELY rooted in what we could call stereotypical heteronormative behavior (and I want to heavily credit @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle for bringing heteronormativity to this conversation vis à vis Khai -- thank you for letting me borrow your words, let me give you your flowers!).

I didn’t see Third condemning Two and Bone (huh huh, Bone) for doing the same thing with girls.

What I saw X, Bee, Pratchaya, and Au doing here was setting us, the viewers, up for an experience of having sympathy for Third -- and almost IMMEDIATELY being lulled into an experience where we wouldn’t, subsequently, hold Third ACCOUNTABLE for taking RESPONSIBILITY in trying to change the paradigm that he was in. INSTEAD, I posit, it would be EASY to sympathize with him, AND condemn Khai for being a booty-chaser, ALL WHILE Third, or us, were NOT holding Two and Bone similarly accountable. PSH.

And think about how easy that is! Gun’s SOOOOOO CUTE, Y’ALL, UGGGHHH. Him crying? Forget about it. Those tears, those pouty lips! Stop that man from crying, get him a Kleenex Thailand sponsorship!

And, AND, in Thailand, and in America: think about how easy it is to judge hook-up culture. It’s SO EASY. A person can be a whore, a ho, a slut, or easy. Write ‘em off.

We can talk about sexual freedom and agency in one breath, and judge someone for getting tail in the next.

I’m telling you. I was TAKEN AWAY BY THE BRILLIANCE OF THIS SET-UP from the damn start of this show. And I related to it personally, particularly from the lens of heteronormativity, because ... I related to Khai (maybe I wasn’t as much of a player in my twenties, but ya girl, ya know -- I had my experiences, okay?! ANYWAY, moving on, cough cough.)

So I had my experiences. In my majority-Asian girlfriend group, I was judged for my experiences. Why?

Because sex is judged in almost all societies (I’m leaving continental Western Europe out of this, but I welcome input from the family over there!). If you’re getting some, there are others that aren’t, for a myriad of reasons. Why do we judge? For religious and/or cultural reasons, a lack of sex education, a lack of supportive input and guidance from elders and/or friends -- the list goes on.

For being able to hook up with guys (I’m cishet), I was called a slut, a ho, a whore. From my perspective? I was doing.... what everyone else was doing. I was participating in heteronormative society and behavior, and because of the ease of my being able to socially engage with others, I was judged for it. (I don’t carry too much baggage from that judgement. I’m happily married to a man I got drunk with in a bar the first time I met him. All I can do is NOT condemn my kids for doing the same when their time comes.)

Again: ToL was NOT set up to elicit judgement against Two and Bone. The judgement -- as ferociously directed FROM Third -- was written and designed to be AGAINST Khai. In summation: I call bullshit on Third. I would argue that the brilliance of the writing here meant that we as viewers could have been lulled into judging one person for their behavior, while allowing passes for others engaging in the exact same thing. And I’d posit that ToL, above all else, provided an INCREDIBLE meta-commentary on the insidiousness of this selective judgement.

[Let me also add that I believe these messages were woven into the story in other ways. As I chatted with @wen-kexing-apologist about: I compared the name “Un,” Earth Pirapat’s character, to the title of the French film that Bone and Paan were into, Un Homme et Une Femme. “One Man and One Woman.” A message from society that all humans are supposed to be... het and monogamous? And unchanging, at that. Memorialized into media. And anything else could be judged. When, in fact: Un himself broke a mold by being in love with Two (un... deux....) the entire time.]

I would also argue that ToL was not necessarily a condemnation of heteronormativity in society. I think, instead, it served as a reflection for both what we as members of society are willing to accept or not accept by way of acceptable behavior, BUT ALSO: HOW UNWILLING WE ACTUALLY ARE TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO CHANGE.

What do I mean by that?

So, Khai. I think Khai, at the start of the show, was being Khai. I don’t know if it was clear from the start of the show that Third was gay, per se. What was only made clear to me was that Third was in love with Khai.

I’d posit that Khai’s expectation of his friend group was that all of them were heteronormative bros, all into the same thing: getting with women. Why would he have reason to think otherwise? Especially from Two and Bone, this is what the guys were into, night after night.

And it makes me wonder about how he was raised, how not just his friends, but his family, his school community, everyone around him -- how they all treated him. All of those impacts WILL contribute to how a person turns out as an adult. Khai acted this way because, in part -- society allowed him, and likely EVEN ENCOURAGED HIM, to be this way. Because he was a tall, cute, homeslice-kinda guy.

Khai is out there Khai-ing. (And, as I noted during my watch sessions, it wasn’t just Khai Khai-ing. Two and Bone were on the scene -- BUT THE GIRLS THEMSELVES were also on the scene, and engaged in their OWN agency in hooking up with Khai. Girls are playas, too.)

For most of the show, Third is NOT confronting Khai with Third’s feelings. Then Khai learns about Third’s feelings, and tries to get Third to fall OUT of love with Khai, leveraging “colossal dick moves.” Then Third ACTUALLY falls out of love with Khai, and the narrative switch of the show takes place, where we settle into Khai’s perspective and Khai’s attempts at winning back Third’s heart.

Before I get into that switch, I want to note something that I think that the majority of the BLs out of Thailand that I’ve watched so far represent really well. I often write that behavioral change is MASSIVELY difficult. In my real-life job, I very often reference the five stages of behavioral change as a means of relating to my colleagues about difficulties they’re facing in changing something that they’re doing at work. Think about not just GOING on a diet, but STICKING to a diet, if you’ve never been on one; or not just GOING to the gym, but STICKING to an exercise routine, or really QUITTING smoking, as opposed to taking a break. Those changes are MASSIVELY DIFFICULT.

What I saw in the second half of ToL was another UTTERLY BRILLIANT commentary on society: how, once we have someone under our judging eye, how we DON’T LET THEM CHANGE.

Khai WANTED TO CHANGE for Third. Many, many times, he didn’t quite know HOW to go about it. OR, to be more specific -- how to change PER THIRD’S PREFERENCES. And honestly, Third was clearly ready to just BE judgy, right? Gurl.

But, once you get a label, that label STICKS. You’re a bully. You’re a slut. You’re a whore.

You need to do a lot of damn work, in the private eye, in the public eye, to shed those labels. Think about the condemnation of celebrities (I am always referencing this amazing video by Ohm and Perth on mental health). How easy it is to write ANYONE in our lives off, and not ever look back, with a single glance.

And Third wasn’t gonna give an inch to Khai. And I had to say, I admired Khai for trying to do the damn thing. He fucked up, A LOT. Praew? Not necessary. All that unsolicited kissing? NO. Don’t do that.

But here, again, I argue that Third needed to take responsibility and accountability, too. Khai was being far more forward with his attempts at communication. And Third? For some reason, he was written as being, like, UNABLE to listen, talking over Khai, interrupting him, not letting Khai finish a damn sentence.

Both of these two DEAR characters were bumbly and immature AF. I really loved that about the BOTH of them. BOTH junior college students, BOTH learning the ropes of their attraction, especially Khai, who was ROOTED in an otherwise DEEPLY heteronormative experience.... but, again, so was Third, taught by... what, exactly, to not be the open communicator that he NEEDED to be to solve his initially unrequited love. Possibly, and likely, because there was a significant corner of society that would SYMPATHIZE with his pain, without holding him ACCOUNTABLE for that pain, as Two, and eventually Bone, did for him, before turning their attentions to Khai to help Khai seal the deal.

I really love this life lesson. To me, it’s extremely reminiscent of the kinds of life lessons that we saw in Bad Buddy, which is why I might term ToL as a kind of proto-BBS, where we see Bee, Pratchaya, and Au playing with the ideas that eventually became the INCREDIBLE foundation of BBS.

In BBS, Pat and Pran accepted, with robust empathy (NOT condescending sympathy), the fact that their parents WOULD NOT, and maybe even, COULD NOT change -- leading the guys to keeping their relationship secret.

Here in ToL, I love that the writers played with Third’s RESISTANCE to change, but also, designed him to ultimately OPEN UP to it, with Khai’s constant pushing. Khai and Third didn’t have the generational divide that children and parents do, as we see eventually in BBS. They had youth on their side. We saw in the follow-up ToL special that Third is still a jealous MF, a side of him that Khai plays up and is concerned about.

But Bee, Pratchaya, and Au were ultimately SO GOOD to Khai and Third (and Two! and Bone! and Un!), because: they wrote these characters ULTIMATELY WITH GRACE, with the GRACEFULNESS that beautiful behavioral change elicits. To witness their processes of change meant, to me, that the show BELIEVED that people CAN CHANGE, AND, AND -- that humans DO NOT HAVE to suffer from weighty labels that are ultimately just a goddamn and meaningless unnecessary burden.

CHANGE IS BEAUTIFUL, if you can embrace it, and if you can allow your loved ones around to TO CHANGE. And when you change, with your community supporting you: you CAN, and likely WILL, become a better person for it.

WHEW. OH MY GAWD. NOW THAT THAT’S OFF MY CHEST! (For real, for ToL: I had MORE notes written, PAGES OF NOTES, written for this show, than anything I’ve watched on the OGMMTVC list, including He’s Coming To Me, my favorite of the old shows so far. ToL WAS SO SUBVERSIVE. UGGHHHHHH!!!)

Some final quick notes, some easter eggs that I utterly loved, that I couldn’t fit into this review in another fashion:

HAAAAAAA. (Even Khai’s social media probably reinforced the heteronormative lifestyle he had been living before falling in love with Third.)

2) The repeat of the stage/play/sound/actors theme, from ToL, to BBS, to Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars (with references to Earth’s characters, to boot!). GOD, I LOVE HOW THEY COME BACK TO THIS THEME! How not just a stage, but so much of LIFE ITSELF, is so fucking performative for the people around us (including Pat and Pran hiding their relationship, Khai bragging to the homies about girls, all of it!).

3) I had planned to include these earlier in the review, but they ultimately didn’t quite make it -- I wanted to write about a bunch of stuff just floating in my head as I watched ToL:

a) My playlist for this show (“I’M NOT A PLAYA, I JUST CRUSH A LOT,” COME AWN! Where did my mom jeans go, shit...) (And the theme of “just friends”? ToL was a total workshop on this theme for BBS. I wish they had sped up into the future to include Nanon’s song.)

b) I had a whole bunch of New York-isms that I wanted to fit into this review somehow, something that like, Dom the pizza guy on the block would say to Third if Third was crying over his slice:

“Who are you to judge?” (pronounced “whoawu”) (besides Third judging Khai, I’d also argue that this applies to the ladies, too -- who are we to judge the ladies that wanted to get with Khai), “No one owes you jackshit,” “GET IT TOGETHER, my friend,”

but they didn’t quite fit, but I feel like I should still jot them down anyway. ANYWAY!

2019, right before the pandemic hits, a year in which you have SO MUCH BL percolating, great BL like He’s Coming to Me, controversial BL like TharnType. And you have this incredibly intelligent, SHARP, subversive, sexy show in Theory of Love, that just causes RIPPLES among the fanbase. I can absolutely see why @bengiyo calls 2019 the year that BL bifurcated. ToL, like HCTM, to me, was a little ahead of its time. It was so subversive as to maybe even be a little manipulative. Because I’m in binge mode and in the THICK of the best of 2019, I know I was mentally ready for this -- but I can see why some audiences in 2019 were maybe NOT so ready.

But I’m damn glad this show was made. If this script hadn’t been written by Bee, Pratchaya, and Au, then I think Bad Buddy would not have been as subversive as it was. ToL is a phenomenal show, AND it gives me SUCH clarity into the refining of the creative process of this team that ultimately produced BBS. And in terms of layers and layers and LAYERS of meaning and depth, nothing, in my opinion, comes close to BBS. I’m thrilled that we had ToL, and the spectacular pairing of OffGun, to precede that moment.

[ToL kicked so much ass, AND I finished 3 Will Be Free last night, ANOTHER monumental show -- if I can get it together, I’ll drop a 3WBF review later this week, but if not, keep your eyes peeled next Monday.

My time tonight, I’ll be watching Dew the Movie -- another stop on the Ohm Pawat train, on which I’m a permanent passenger. Mans is such a translator of queer revelation and angst. I can’t wait. And thennnnnn, after Dew, a big one, Until We Meet Again. It’ll be my first go-around with Fluke Natouch, which I’m looking forward to; but I was informed by @bengiyo and the clown friends that this shit’s SEVENTEEN EPISODES. WHY DOES NEW SIWAJ HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME?!?! Thailand needs to pass a federal law restricting New to 12 episodes OR LESS! GAH.

But anyway, listen, we are making big progress, and inching ever closer to a major stop on this journey in ITSAY. I know @shortpplfedup is watching my shit very. closely. Annnnd, I’ll take any thoughts on this, but I kinda think that I should maybe do a Very Very Fast Rewatch of KinnPorsche...since it was KP that got me here in the first place, and I think I might have a lot more to say about it, now that I’m firmly familiar with the BL echelon. And, Tong.

Here’s the list as it currently stands. As always, feedback is welcome!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review coming) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) (watching) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 17) 2gether (2020) 18) Still 2gether (2020) 19) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 20) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 21) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 23) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 24) Lovely Writer (2021) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 29) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 30) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 31) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 32) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 33) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 34) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 35) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

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fromkenari · 7 months

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Waterloo Letters #4 (2/4): Hometown stuff

Re: Hometown stuff Henry [email protected] 9/4/20 7:58 PM to A Alex, Have you ever had something go so horribly, horribly, unbelievably badly that you’d like to be loaded into a cannon and jettisoned into the merciless black maw of outer space? I wonder sometimes what is the point of me, or anything. I should have just packed a bag like I said. I could be in your bed, languishing away until I perish, fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived avoiding plans and sucking cock. I told Philip. Not about you, precisely—about me. Specifically, we were discussing enlistment, Philip and Shaan and I, and I told Philip I’d rather not follow the traditional path and that I hardly think I’d be useful to anyone in the military. He asked why I was so intent on disrespecting the traditions of the men of this family, and I truly think I dissociated straight (ha) out of the conversation, because I opened my blasted mouth and said, “Because I’m not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip.” Once Shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier, Philip had quite a few words for me, some of which were “confused or misguided” and “ensuring the perpetuity of the bloodline” and “respecting the legacy.” Honestly, I don’t recall much of it. Essentially, I gathered that he was not surprised to discover I am not the heterosexual heir I’m supposed to be, but rather surprised that I do not intend to keep pretending to be the heterosexual heir I’m supposed to be. So, yes, I know we discussed and hoped that coming out to my family would be a good first step. I cannot say this was an encouraging sign re: our odds of going public. I don’t know. I’ve eaten a tremendous amount of Jaffa Cakes about it, to be frank. Sometimes I imagine moving to New York to take over launching Pez’s youth shelter there. Just leaving. Not coming back. Maybe burning something down on the way out. It would be nice. (cont.)

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 297-298). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

1 | 3 | 4

#waterloo letters #hometown stuff #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white and royal blue #casey mcquiston #out of credits

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born-in-hell · 7 months

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u all are now doomed to see my opinion on qbbh/ron situation

u all know i wanted ron to have eaten ron SO BAD, but mainly bc the reaction from the other islanders when they learned abt it wouldve been GREAT. in a qbbh story viewpoint yeaahh it wouldve killed rons lore way too fast and early imo. in the long run itd be easily forgotten by us and forgiven by the islanders (especially since qcellbit lives normally w pac, and he ate his leg) (and also foolish, phill, fit, mike, mouse and cellbit wouldnt even care, some would even support him). there would be no payoff to it all. qbbh got some info, tortured the worker, didnt save the kids, had a mental breakdown and then ate said worker. it wouldve been too abrupt

but giving the kidnapped worker STOCKHOLM SYNDROME is in a whooole other level. and it STILL makes sense in qbbhs personality. qbbh is not heartless. he used to treat ron worse when he thought the fed workers were mindless puppets. As soon as ron started to show he was an individual, qbad started to pity him. And missing his lover, being in weird terms w his other potential love interest and best friend, feeling used and distrusted by his fellow islanders, and more important, missing his children, made him try to find someone to relate and care to again. and that someone was ron.

and now it is the best and also the most messed up as it can get. after the talk w qbagh, qbbh was pushed to do the right thing and help ron escape the fed. but hes not dumb. he probably realised that is ron trusted him he would give more info. and thats what happened.

and as time passes, ron becomes more of a person and less of a mindless worker. there is a pattern between all the workers. the more they interact w residents, the more human they become. theres smth interesting abt this, but who am i to guess

him trusting his captor is weird to us. but in context, the fed aparently was HORRIBLE to the workers. mental control, no breaks, possibl experiments and torture. it is so much that ron fears the fed more than he fears qbad.

so yeah this whole things messed up, and ccbbh probably wants it this way kkkkkkkkkkkkkk this is one of the most morally grey arcs weve gotten and its so fun imo

yeah this is it i may add more things later but for now im tired

edit: Ive also been thinking what if the workers start misteriously disappering and all of a sudden everyone discovers that bbh has been kidnapping them and making a ""worker village"? like he sees how horrific the fed is, and starts helping the workers escape. he gets to fred and then he gives qbbh info abt the eggs as a trade. but everyone thinks hes torturing them and he starts to isolate himself again aaaaaaaaa

#im honestly so tired #i think im gonna be sick like irl so pardon my really bad writing #i hate apostrophes u can tell #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bbh #qsmp ron

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throwawaydracula-blog · 2 years

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Bram Stoker and the New Woman

Some thoughts on the 10th of August entry re: the “New Woman”, and Bram Stoker’s presentation of the idea. Also spoilers for another Stoker story, The Jewel of Seven Stars. As in, I am going to go through the entire plot.

You still OK with reading spoilers?

Yes?

Then let’s continue.

The Jewel of Seven Stars was written with Victorian Egyptomania in mind. An Egyptologist discovers the mummy of an Egyptian queen called Tera. This queen seems to have the ability to astral project into other beings, such a mummified cat-- and also the Egyptologist’s daughter. A full possession does not seem to occur until quite late in the story; Tera as influence over the daughter, but not full control. The interesting thing is, the daughter-- Margaret-- does not seem to particularly mind all this, and neither does her father. Also interesting is the later revelation that Margaret and Tera are nearly physically identical. Margaret’s fiancé is increasingly disturbed by her behavior-- she openly displays a range of emotions in a way that her fiancé deems erratic, but are arguably appropriate to, say, an ancient queen who very much wants to live again and isn’t sure everything is going to go well. She becomes much more assertive. Her attitude towards her fiancé becomes aloof, distant-- at times even disdainful. She might-- terrifying thought for the fellow!-- not need him.

The Egyptologist and Margaret (and Tera) decide to go ahead and try to physically resurrect Tera, whose body is quite literally perfectly preserved-- to the point where the guys start to get excited over it, and Margaret insists on covering it up, swooping and reclaiming control. Now, there are two different endings to the story-- the original 1903 version, and the 1912 version. And that’s where things get interesting.

In the original ending, the experiment goes horribly wrong and everyone but the narrator (Margaret’s fiancé) dies. But there are circumstances that imply Tera has escaped-- the New Woman, who ironically is literally an ancient woman, is ultimately victorious. In the second edition released years later, the experiment still fails, but Margaret survives to marry the narrator, while Tera fails to come back to life. This was a much more palatable ending to conservative Victorian readers (female as well as male) for a number of reasons-- not only is it generically happier (except for Tera), but the status quo is preserved. It turns out a non-English emancipated woman is not stronger than Victorian British society and gender norms in this second ending.

Other themes in the book overtly challenge social values at the time, including European exceptionalism; the Egyptologist is fairly certain that the Egyptians were just as scientifically advanced as Victorian age Europeans, if not more so, utilizing radium and electric lighting, which was just starting to go mainstream. Then there’s the matter of Christianity and monotheism in general. A passage deleted from the second edition runs,

The whole possibility of the Great Experiment to which we were now pledged was based on the reality of the existence of the Old Forces which seemed to be coming in contact with the New Civilisation…If there were truth at all in the belief of Ancient Egypt then their Gods had real existence, real power, real force…If then the Old Gods held their forces, wherein was the supremacy of the new?

To me, it’s easy to read that last line very broadly; it’s not just Christianity’s ‘new God’ the narrator is worrying about, it’s deep insecurity about the Victorian presupposition that the new naturally conquered the old—something that was part of the mandate of imperialism.

It’s easy for modern readers to forget the battlecry of the Victorian age was ‘Progress!’. Progress as defined within a patriarchal and Eurocentric worldview which most of us would now consider quite regressive. The passage of time is funny like that. The original edition of The Jewel of Seven Stars derives some of its horror from the idea that European civilization was just playing catch-up to ancient Egypt, and that the phenomenon of the New Woman was not a passing fad, it was an idea stretching back thousands of years; but this phenomenon could not be dismissed as merely primitive decadence in the ending where Tera succeeds, literally killing Margaret and figuratively killing the model of Victorian womanhood in the process. Or maybe ‘killing’ is the wrong word, given Margaret’s uncanny resemblance to Tera; maybe Margaret and Tera were always the same person.

It interests me what Stoker decided to change. He was writing to earn a living (the theatre business could be unreliable), and given the underwhelming critical response to the original story, it’s possible he hoped a version of the story less challenging to Victorian sensibilities would sell better-- not that it did him much good, as he died the year it was published. Stoker was not celebrating the New Woman, but the original ending implies that she’s inevitable, and it’s the new world that has to conform to her, not the other way around. Given that Stoker generally presented himself as a bog-standard self-censoring conformist but palled around with transgressive queer artists like Walt Whitman and even a post-exile Oscar Wilde... I wish we could pick his brain about this. It would have been interesting to see what he would have written if he had been free from social pressure. In a letter to Walt Whitman-- a letter full of infatuation that he all but begs Whitman to burn if Whitman doesn’t like it, and was composed on Valentine’s Day, 1876-- Bram Stoker wrote,

You have shaken off the shackles and your wings are free. I have the shackles on my shoulders still — but I have no wings.

So sometimes I wonder about Dracula, too, what Stoker would have written if he thought it wouldn’t negatively impact his career. Considering that the implication that the count has been feeding on Jonathan only appears in the 1899 American edition of the book and not the 1897 British edition... well, I think it’s worth pondering.

#dracula daily

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ghostinthegallery · 9 months

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WIP Wednesday (one day late) (necron edition)

Just a bit of idiot gay space robot arguing from my ongoing necron fic (story is available here) that amused me and I hope will amuse other people. Spoilers for The Infinite and the Divine.

“Trazyn?”

“Yes, Orikan?”

“Several questions are rushing through my engrams at the moment, but chief among them is why did you make this?”

Trazyn turned to him. “Because I needed a place to put the statue. Obviously.”

Orikan wasn’t sure what answer he had expected. He repressed a shudder as he stood on horribly familiar cobblestones in the shadow of familiar buildings. Humans sat unmoving at tables drinking foul brown liquid. A small group of musicians stood—thankfully silent—with their instruments, one with his chest puffed out as if his fleshy lungs were filled with air. The uncanny sense he was actually back in the city square made him want to board his ship and try his luck with his ambushers once again.

Though he supposed he had to give Trazyn some credit for the accuracy with which he had recreated the central square on Serenade. And above it all was Trazyn’s damn statue, fashioned by idiot humans like a skeletally thin space marine librarian. The ego was frankly astounding.

Orikan shook his head. “Of all the places we could have spoken.”

“I thought you might enjoy some reminiscing,” Trazyn replied.

“There is not a single memory of this place that I enjoy.”

Trazyn wandered over to an empty table and sat down as if he was one of the patrons. “Nothing after all we accomplished together here? Discovering the secret of a lost tomb, defeating the shard of a C’tan!”

“Infecting the planet with genestealers and burying me under millions of tons of rock?”

“You always find a way to see the negative side of things, don’t you?”

Orikan did not humor that with a response. His ocular scanned the gallery, which despite the walls and ceilings bearing illusory projection of sky and further city, were solid and closer than they appeared. Scarabs skittered between buildings, each one seemingly watching him. Something shimmered next to a false cloud.

“Is that one of your deathmarks?” Orikan demanded.

Trazyn glanced up as if Orikan had just observed an interesting weather phenomenon. “Why yes. Forgive me if I seem inhospitable, but considering the fact that I have not completely repaired the damage left by your last several visits, I thought some precautions might be in order. Not to mention my concerns for my own safety.”

"Why would I try to kill you when my phaeron has sent me to seek your aid?"

"I don't know, Orikan. Perhaps because a passing gas giant told you to. Who knows how your astromancer's mind functions?"

It was not worth getting into an argument. The sooner Orikan went about his business the sooner he could leave. Preferably without getting shot.

“The Stormlord has requested access to your archives on the Great Devourer,” Orikan said. “Allow our crypteks access, and you and I need suffer each other no further.”

“Oh diviner, don’t be in such a hurry.” Trazyn leaned back with infuriating smugness. Orikan would have enjoyed nothing more than shooting his phase shifter at his host. Or at least the statue.

“Funnily enough, you are not the first to come researching the tyranid recently,” Trazyn continued. “I suppose Szarekh’s display caused quite the stir. That even his rival for kingship is taking it seriously—“

“Don’t presume to know Imotekh’s will,” Orikan snapped. “Although this makes things simpler. If your galleries are indeed open to all, there should be no trouble allowing the Sautekh dynasty to observe your samples.”

“Now hold on,” Trazyn said. “You are putting me in a delicate position. My dynasty has declared its support for Szarekh, so opening my doors to Phaeron Imotekh could be seen as downright treasonous.”

Orikan narrowed his ocular in a glare. “Trying to kill me did not get you back in their good graces?”

“You are fortunate that I am meeting with you when I could have vaporized your ship instead,” Trazyn said. “Perhaps you shouldn’t push your luck?”

Orikan’s tail flicked with annoyance. Mostly because Trazyn was right. Orikan wasn’t sure why Trazyn had helped him. Not that that was unusual, as Orikan could barely figure out why the archaeovist did half the things he did. The only thing Orikan could guess was that Trazyn wanted something, and the sooner he figured out what that was, the sooner this farce would end.

“I suppose I could arrange something.” Trazyn rubbed his chin, the spot that was always faintly smoother than the rest thanks to the habitual friction. “If you were to make it worth my while.”

Ah, there it was. “Name your price, archaeovist.”

"I…" Trazyn leaned across the table. "Would like an apology."

Orikan paused. “What?”

“I would like an apology from you.” Trazyn’s death mask took on that terrible grinning quality that Orikan so despised. “For your vandalism of my War in Heaven gallery.”

“You can’t be serious,” Orikan replied. “That was over ten thousand years ago!”

“And the artifacts broken are still irreplaceable and my restorations are still incomplete.” The grin vanished. That was even more disconcerting. “You went back on your word to save what had been lost. I think an apology is the least I could ask for.”

It was not and they both knew it. Orikan would rather throw himself into Solemnace’s sun than utter any kind of apology. Breaking those trinkets was a service to the galaxy. Not to mention it had been his only method of escape. He may well have been trapped as one of Trazyn’s exhibits had he not used what was at hand to escape. If given the chance he’d do it all again, maybe crushing even more of that useless refuse.

“What good is it to remember what we lost and cannot get back? What we cannot even learn from?” Orikan said. “We could be finding a future, so why drag us backwards to some mythical past?”

Trazyn sighed. “I do not have time to debate philosophy with you, Orikan. Believe it or not, I am busy. Will you give me what I ask for or no?”

Silence dragged on between them. Imotekh would strike him down in an instant for his stubbornness, but it was difficult to care. Orikan had not gotten where he was by submitting to lords that used their power to twist the truth. Trazyn was no different from the rest. If anything he was worse. If he would devote a fraction of the energy he used recreating primitive street architecture towards the future of their race, think how much closer they’d be to overcoming their cursed metal forms! He wasted so much, and Orikan hated him for it.

Trazyn’s laugh started low and deep. Necron laughter was not a pleasant sound, but the Overlord of Solemnace had a laugh that lacked the staticky roughness most of their people’s possessed. It sounded far too close to something organic and it sent a shiver up Orikan’s spine.

“So stubborn,” Trazyn said. “But if you were willing to yield that easily you would not be who you are, and I would not despise you so.”

#fanfic #necrons #warhammer 40k #the infinite and the divine #trazyn #orikan #I love these dumbasses so much #the silence and the storm #after 60 million years you're not rivals you're just gay

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