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natromanxoff · 3 years

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25 - Just Chatting...

Hello one and all.

It's been a long time since I graced these pages and, believe it or not, nothing much has been happening in my life, apart from the odd soiree or two. Winter has finally left us and spring has sprung, and it's nice to see the sun again. Let's start by wishing my old mate a happy birthday and I hope you all had a little drinkie for him, I know I did. In fact I got legless, he would have been proud of me. Whenever we were in London there was always a party at Fred's on his birthday, be it a handful of friends, or one where he invited half of Britain, but which ever one it was there was always a good time to be had and a lot of chaos. One year he actually took over Pikes Hotel in Ibiza and chartered a private plane to fly his friends in. Roger and myself were already on the island recording some of his solo stuff so we didn't have far to travel to the bash. When I say we were working, it's kind of true as we spent a lot of time on his boat "Ga Ga" whizzing around having lunch and fun. The party was held outside around the swimming pool, now is that an invite for trouble or what? There were hundreds of balloons hanging from every available fixture, and of course there is always an idiot that thinks he's a clown. This particular clown, who will remain nameless, decided it would be funny to light one of the balloons, and needless to say the whole lot went up in flames. Phoebe and Crystal to the rescue. We had to get this "fire" off the wooden rafters before the whole hotel went up in smoke, so we were pulling bits of string while burning rubber was dripping down on us. I was so traumatised by the whole event I had to have another drink ....... a lame excuse I know, but hey, it's my story. Back to the pool. Edwin Shirley, of trucking fame and also an all round good guy after a few too many, decided to have a swim, so he removed his clothing and was flapping around the pool when some daft countess told him to get dressed and behave himself. Wrong move lady. Edwin was not impressed by his telling off and threw her in, and she was even less impressed with that and started ranting and raving, much to the amusement to the rest of the party hounds. She left with her tail between her legs and didn't look at all glamorous in her soaking wet dress, running makeup and failed hairdo. We continued till mid morning and went straight to the airport and caught a flight home. Thanks F for the great parties and good times, you will never be forgotten.

I still get asked a lot if I'm gonna write the "Real" story about Queen. Well the answer is no, and the reason is that the guys gave me a great job and a great life and I have far to much respect for them, their wives/girlfriends, children and families to tell the world what we got up to in private. I feel that is our business and ours alone. Most of us are all in relationships and telling tales could make life awkward for a few people, band and crew alike. I'm sure at some point in time someone from the organisation will write a book, have 5 minutes of fame and make a quick buck, but it sure as hell won't be me, and I'll still be able to sleep at night and when I see the guys I will still be free to say, "Wanna beer MATE."

I've had a few questions asked me that I'm gonna answer quickly.

First off is "Do you have any stories about Freddies cats? (ripping furniture etc.)" Here's a good reply, No. So moving right along, "Of all the famous people you've met, who impressed you the most?" Tricky one this. After years in this "Biz" they all become "Just normal people," and some become good pals, but on one occasion I was in Paul McCartneys studio and I was handed his violin bass and I was sitting there holding it when someone said, "Paul is left handed, hold it like he would." When I turned it around, still taped in the cutout was the Beatles set list from their days in Hamburg, now that impressed me.

Deaky and myself were the only two reggae lovers in the outfit, and Bob Marley turned up to see the show at Madison Square Gardens. Strange choice of show for Bob, but he loved Another one bites the dust, and he happened to be in New York on a stopover on his way to Germany for laser treatment. Show time and our intro tape was playing, and someone told JD that Bob was in the audience, so he cranked his bass up and played "Lively up yourself" over the tape. This was very possibly the last time Marley ever heard this played as he died shortly after. I didn't get to meet him, but I did get to meet Tyrone Downie, Bobs keyboard player in the Wailers, and Tyrone and myself got up to all sorts of mischief that night. RT on the other hand hates reggae music, but I did manage to drag him to the Circus Krone in Munich to see Peter Tosh. I loved it, he hated it. I look at this as payback because years before he insisted that I went to Hammersmith Odeon to see Laurie Anderson, of O Superman fame. This show he loved, but I put it alongside Cher as one of the worst concerts I have ever seen. Needless to say I have also met a couple of stars that I didn't see eye to eye with. Like the American rock star we encountered in a club one night, and he was such a pain I had to take him into the toilets to have a quiet word with him. He finally got the message so I released my hand from around his neck and let him drop back down to the ground. To finish this segment I wanna tell you something that Bev Bevan said. Bev was the drummer with ELO, and them and us were touring the US at the same time, and as it turned out, staying in the same hotel in one city. Roger and myself were leaving the hotel and waiting for the elevator. When the doors opened Bev was in there and him and RT said their hellos. Rog then said, "Bev, this is Crystal, he looks after me." Bev turned to me, shook my hand and said, "Pleased to meet you. If it wasn't for guys like you, guys like us wouldn't be where we are today." He didn't need to say that, and was genuine when he did. I wasn't impressed with meeting him, but he is certainly in my top ten of nicest people I have ever meet.

Over the last few months I've spent a lot of time in the Chatroom, and I highly recommend it to you all as it can be a bit of a laugh. For anyone who has never visited the room please remember a couple of things, if you come in and start swearing you will be kicked out. I know, it happens to me all the time. Also don't come in and start going on about knowing axemen and murderers and other such garbage, cause that also warrants a kicking. Some buffoon from Ireland, who went by the name of "Death" turned up with an attitude and was going on about how f***ing awesome Queen were at Slane Castle. He was not known by anyone in there so I asked him to watch his language. He said he was the Grim Reaper and could do and say what he liked, so I told him otherwise and he was most put out when I kicked him. What a fool. A while ago there was some prat who called himself F***queen, good name eh! Anyway, he/she/it was picking on a lovely young lady called Raisa, and was saying some awful things to her and completely freaked her out, so I went to her defence and FQ turned the attention my way. As far as I'm concerned it's only letters on a screen and it didn't phase me at all, but at least he/she/it gave up on Raisa. In all fairness to FQ, whoever you may be, he/she left a message on the Bulletin Board saying sorry to Raisa and myself and would never do it again. So FQ, from the both of us, thanks for the apology, we accept it. What other weirdos have we had? Well, there was a brightspark who decided it would be funny to use the nickname QueenRshite, another bad move from this person who was honoured with a ban.

While in there I've seen a lot of friendships made, and a couple that have fallen apart. I got a private message one evening from a very drunk girl who, how shall we phrase this, offered me her body and wanted to do all sorts of naughty things to me, I thanked her and declined...must be getting old or something. I have also witnessed relationships being made and, usually there is a lot of humour involved, but needless to say some arguments do occur. I have also seen some of the daftest things said. One guy was so convinced that one of the regulars was either Deaky or she was chatting with him in private that he actually started tracking her every move on the net. He also told me about some highly illegal activities he was up to concerning the band. I wouldn't have thought I was the best person to tell such stuff to, and needless to say I had a go at him. Just to add to his stupidity he's been recently boasting about his affair with an underage girl, and I reckon if he had any more sense he would be half witted. Having mentioned all the twits I'd like to say a quick hello to all the regulars, White Queen and Killer Queen, the lovely girls Blue Rock and Rannnnnnni, SQJan, Mayflower and her boys, Farookh (aka Leroy Brown) MarshMallow, the three Tigers - Babe, Lily and Stripes and the mighty Falc, also to all the rest who I haven't mentioned by name, you know who you are. I'd also like to say hi to Daddy Cool who is the singer in the Dutch cover band Miracle, and Dad, if you never make it as a singer you could make a great career from being a stand up comedian. Finally an extra special hello to the gorgeous MTB, who is about to make an honest man of me ;)

Before I go I'm sure I don't need to remind anyone of a certain date in November that is engraved in all of our minds. And I know that a lot of you will be heading to Garden Lodge to leave flowers. I don't wanna preach and tell you what to do, and I know flowers are a nice gesture, but they do die and the only people to really benefit from this is the florist. This year lets all give a donation, no matter how small, to Aids research, this way the cash will be used to try and stamp out this awful disease. If you really wanna leave flowers, buy a smaller, cheaper bunch and donate the balance of what you would have spent to these charities. It's been said a million times before but it is true, Every penny counts.

As always, Loadsa Love.

Crystal

#queen #queen band #freddie mercury #john deacon #peter freestone #crystal taylor #crystal's tales

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crybabytoy59 · 3 years

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Resignation of fate....

Getting older now I had decide to resign my fate of submissive feelings of having a True Dominant partner, sadly putting this behind me, to stop torturing my self over my inner held submission...After all I had try’d?

My tumblr page made no secret I wished to be used in a true 24/7 submissive relationship.

But nothing had ever become of my ask along the way, only fake so called Mistress/mummy’s ever messaged with but one thing on there mind a “Tribute” easy cash from despairing sissy submissive’s like Myself was there goal.

So with a heavy heart I could still have small windows in time for myself...

I would simply visit a Pro Dominant that way although paying it would be the real thing not some set of Dom instructions over the net from some faceless person who didn’t even take the time to read any of my stories, to better get to know me or my kink !

That’s how I found Jessica she was ten years my younger 5’7” with long red hair, very athletic as she kept in great shape, a bubbly personality & wit to match...

After lots of questions we arranged a meeting at a hotel of her choice, the drive there had my gut in knots ...I was finally going to meet a True Dominant not some fake kid-on person.

Jessica was a Professional with over 15years in the business her knowledge was vast as were her skills !

Knocking the door to the suite she opened it with a huge smile ! She was stunning even more beautiful than her pictures in real life!

“Hello sweetheart in you come” as I passed her she spanked me lightly, then threw her arms around me like she had known me all her life !

Cuddling me she kissed me very passionately running her hands down to my crotch she giggled “My my someone is a very excited submissive aren’t we ?”

I stammered out a yyyes Jessica! She was great again chuckles came,

“Relax sweetheart this is your time with me I want it to be special so that over the course of out ten meetings you will be in no doubt about your next ten sweetheart ! “

This we both smiled over ...this was just what I had always dreamed of it felt So natural.

Jessica told me to go for a shower then come out with a towel around me once “Fully cleaned” I knew what she ment from our talks pre-meeting, so in the shower I gave my self one last enema to make sure I was clean inside but only clean water came out, after all I had spent two hours Deep cleaning myself for this first meeting !

After my shower I took a Deep Breath & walked out with the towel around me.

Jessica was standing at the foot of the bed in a lace black top with no arms a black corset & black leather jodhpurs! She looked the perfect picture of Dominance to me at that moment !

On the bed lay a pink pvc maids dress with a small pink frilly hood to match the outfit, there were white tights & pink Mary Janes with a pair of frilly french knickers with a garter belt.

My heart pounding now Jessica motioned me over with out a word she threw a pillow on the floor pushing my shoulder, I did as she wished without words I knelt obediently putting my hands behind my back.

This pleased her as she kissed my forehead “Well done sweetheart let’s get you properly dressed for today’s chores my New sissy maid !”

Her touch as she dressed me in the pink frillymaids uniform was simply indescribable!

She took her time going very slowly & sensual with her every touch...

I was in sissy heaven !

My first task was to clean her boots as she sipped a glass of wine, she gave me a small black wax pad for this task & a white cotton cloth this took me an hour to do both boots.

Jessica was very pleased with me & more passionate kisses came from her it didn’t feel very Dominant? She was in control but in a soft gentle way....

Next was brushing her hair then I was to pleat it into a long ponytail...

This to pleased her very much as more kissing followed, the third task was very different she asked me bend over facing the dressing mirror put my hands around & pull my cheeks apart!

I watched as she lubed up a butt plug it wasn’t to large & she slid it home only holding it enough that my anal muscles pulled it in by them selfs!

Next she had me sit on the dresser chair as she applied makeup to me ! After the pink base layer, I jumped slightly in the chair as Jessica had picked up Her mobile the plug started a rhythm of vibrations!

More make up went on as she smiled at me straddling my thighs on the chair as she Finished my makeup !

Stepping away she stood behind me I got my first look at what she had done !

I looked like a China Doll !!!!

The look was utterly fantastic..So much so I gasped to her giggling!

“So my new maid likes her look this is your look Sissy lemon 🍋....Yes sweetheart that’s your new name Sissy Lemon”

With that she tied my ankles to the chair & my arms behind me, she then produced a pair of silk white soiled pants letting me smell them over my face her scent was very powerful !

I was absolutely rock hard now...”Open Wide Maid lemon !” She fed the pants into my mouth then lifted a black leather panel mask, it had a head harnessing from it this was buckled into place & she knelt between my legs pulling my engorged member from its silk prison!

Very slowly Jessica ran clear wax type gel over my shaft it felt warm as she put it on...

Slowly she started edging me...Very slowly...over the next hour she would edge me until I twitched then would stop to drink some wine, she would touch my nipples making me moan for more play !

This girl was very good at getting what she wanted men’s submission !!!

An hour later I could hold No longer I threw my head back as it shot from me ! I felt my balls were coming out Such was the force !

Jessica simply kept pumping every last drop from me !

Without any warning she popped open the leather pad on the front of the gag removing her pants she wiped her hand clean!!

Then uttered the words again ...."Open Wide Maid lemon !”

She pushed the cum soaked pants back into my mouth popping the leather panel back into hold the wadding in place....

She got up walking away to get something? When she returned she pulled the chair further back without a word...

Then lifted a huge black leather flogger ....”Sissy Lemon did Mistress Jessica say you could climax ?....No she did Not ...So my wee disobeying maid a punishment I think !!”

She unzipped the dress pulling it down my torso exposing my chest !

Jessica pulled the flogger back ....she spent three hours flogging cropping & whipping my nipples with a riding crop !...

It was very painful but I was in True submission at her touch...

At the end of my 8 hrs with her I truly could not thank her enough...

She told me that’s all she wish for in her sessions that I would feel I could let go of my inner submissive....

We arranged to meet at the same time each week for my sessions....each one became a bit kinkier & more painful for me ! Jessica would put me in my maids uniform, then spank me !

Sometimes head to toe ! Edge me...have me eat my own cummie as she called them !

It was great just to let go & Be Myself !

But on the second last visit Everything changed...

She had edged me & was putting me through a Very intense chest whipping...this she had stopped to put on a new set of nipple clamps ...this was my chance to show her my submission to her each time I would “present to her Fully arched (this made the clamps tighten) & put my head Fully backwards till she appeared to kiss my forehead!

Then I would be allowed to do My cummie....

But this time was different I truly broke !!!

Holding out not to say my “Safe-word”....something happened..

I burst out crying hysterically...

Jessica ran over pulling the clamps off gently she spoke ....

“It’s ok am sorry ...Breath try to relax....lemon...Your ok...hey it’s ok Mistress Jessica has You Lemon”

I muffled into her pantie gag....So Jessica removed the leather panel then her wet pants (she had soaked them in her pee this session )

It was all too much I didn’t know what day of the week it was ! or Where I was let alone what I was Saying to Jessica !!!!

I can’t even remember what I said...but thirty minutes later I was lay on the bed next to Mistress Jessica she was stroking my face...

“Are you Ok sweetheart ? ...(I nodded ) Good have a shower we need to talk...

After my shower I changed into my day clothes & came out Jessica had done the same , she was now in jeans & a white shirt...

“Ok That was too much ...Am truly sorry but I can’t take you for your last session, I will give you your money back & you can’t see me as your Mistress any longer !

I was utterly shocked & Deeply saddened over this but not knowing what I has said to her I thought best to simply accept that I had over stepped my mark with Jessica....

I told her there was no need to give me money back, that I would rather she got something for herself.

I told her I was truly Sorry over this incident..But I hoped she didn’t hate me...

“No silly it’s fine I just feel that was to much for me as a Mistress.....Your a lovely guy & I truly hope you find what you want of life”

I left that day with such a heavy heart, my world truly shattered knowing my type of submission was to be kept locked away, deep within me forever this being the last straw I had upset another with my innermost submissive....Enough I thought....Enough!!!!..

Three weeks later I got a message from Jessica...?

“Hi you we need to meet up for a chat...This is Not up for negotiation You will come meet me here *******, at 7pm see you then do Not reply simply turn up !”

My mind now racing over why she would message me ? But also the message was very cryptic? ...but what had I to loose ?

I did think of not going to meet her, but my feelings for her were very strong.

So at 7pm I walked up to the house & knocked the door...

Jessica opened the door dressed in the same jeans & white shirt ?...it was like the three weeks had not passed...

She ushered me into her home, then asked me if I would like a hot chocolate as she was just having one, I said yes as we both stood in her kitchen she spoke..

“Now am guessing your wondering why I invited you to my home ?”

I again nervously spoke as I did when first meeting her....”yyyes Jessica”

“Well relax this is my home & your my guest, we have a lot to talk about but let’s go through to the fire & we can have a nice chat” she handed me my chocolate as she sipped at hers....she led the way to a large room with a log burner, the flames cracked as she sat in a red leather chair to the left of the burner she motioned me to sit in the other one opposite...

“Ok where to start...It has been a very long three weeks for me as what happened with you has changed something in me, I need you to realise am just a girl at the end of the day, I have feeling & needs just like any other!

Now I know that day you opened a window to who “you are”

As you fell into sub-space you let lots of things out that day !”

I interrupted Jessica saying I was truly sorry if I had hurt her in any way it was Not my intention...she simply smiled at me & spoke...

“Let me Finnish ! Stop being a brat it’s not All about You !”

This took me by surprise so I remained silent as a drank my chocolate...Jessica continued...

“I want you to drink up the last of your chocolate & I have something to show you...Are you done ?...Ok follow me”

As I followed her she took me to an upstairs room as she put her hand on the handle she told me to close my eyes...I felt her soft hand take mine as she led me into the room ...”Now not a word not a single word You do Not have my permission to speak .....Open your eyes !”

I was in a pink adult baby nursery ! A full size cot, high chair, changing table ..rows of white terry nappies ..diapers of all sorts.. pink frills were everywhere ! The cot had pink frilly bumpers around it ! ....

I stood dumbfounded !!!!...As Jessica spoke to me...

“I have never had children & always wanted a baby ....I thought that had passed me by ..until you broke down in sub-space and let your true self to the surface...I couldn’t believe it when You Called Me MUMMY !!!!....So the question is Crybaby..

Do you want me as your Mummy ?”

Jessica was opening a side room door to a second pink room with an adult size baby bath full of hot water & bubbles....!

“If you do Not want this go back to the living room I will understand...If you do just get into the bath for Mummy.....(I strayed to strip off) Clever girlie Crybaby that’s the Right choice....Hey don’t cry sweetheart....well not yet anyway ! let’s save them for after your bath sweetheart..then mummy will bring Crybaby out to play !!!!”

As I stepped into the bath I was crying but not tears of sadness tears of pure joy ! How could this be ? How could this gorgeous girl want me as hers in this way.....was I dreaming...As Jessica lifted the soap & sponge ...I found it was no dream...she truly wanted Me !!!! ....I truly wanted her.....

She spent the next hour washing me as I sat in the bath Obediently not talking..

she told me my stories were very colourful & that I had told her in my Sob-space of my little want in life to be a 24/7 little, even of my tumblr page & story writings !

After my bath she led me to the changing mat then sat me down.

“Ok lay back ...handies out to your sides...Clever girlie “

I was put into a thick terry Nappy that had a folded soaker pad inside, As she pinned the Nappy on with three large pins each side....next came what looked like hollow fabric pants they were very stiff & ridged, after they were on snuggly she pulled on thick heavy rubber bloomers ! Patting them she spoke to me...

“Up we get ..give Me your handies Baby “

I was pulled to a sitting position then had a large petticoat put on me followed by a pink dress covered in frills & bows....next was my garter & tights I had worn as A Maid, then my Mary Jane shoes, the last item was a pink matching bonnet !!

Jessica took time over my make up painting me as before like a china doll but this time with long lashes to boot !

“Clever girlie Crybaby that’s much better, let me look at you...give Mummy a twirl, ..no silly like a toddler...a Three year old baby girl ! That’s a clever baby ! My my ...now do you know how to curtsy Crybaby?”

Giggling at my face she proceeded to Do a curtsy..one foot behind she bent at the knee....”Clever girlie Crybaby..Now You Please....Wow Baby Girlie is a natural...Ok let’s get you down stairs as Mummy has lots of surprises in store for You Crybaby Toy !”

Mummy Jessica led my by the hand down stairs to the log burner she put pink contact lens into my eyes giving a pink haze to everything I looked at they also narrowed my vision....This made me slightly uncomfortable...

As Mummy turned my around she was not alone someone stood beside her....

“Now Crybaby this is Nanny Bee she is going to help mummy this evening as when mummy has to work Nanny Bee will look after you sweetheart as My baby girlie will never be on her own Not Ever !...Now Open Wide As am going to Gag my girlie...As Crybaby will not be having or using her safe-word ever again sweetheart...this is All about My Pleasures Crybaby Pain Toy !!!!”

As Jessica told me this they both laughed....but not a sweet laugh....

A wicked laughter !!!!!!

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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NIGHTWING VS HUSH

I did read it and I loved it! In fact, I loved it so much that when the trade came to my country, I bought it even though its cover has Joker and Harley in it (and I do not like any of them). Travis Moore’s art might be one of the biggest factors of my love for that issue but many things from it were just right!

First of all, it was really nice to see both Dick and Clark being presented as the closest friends to Bruce, because they were the ones coming up with his bachelor party. I am always here for Clark and Dick content! It even got better when we were told that Dick came up with the idea for the “party”, Bruce seemed really happy and content with that pocket dimension where basically the only thing that he could do was do some fishing. It just seemed adorable to me.

Hush as a villain can sometimes come off as boring but I think they did something really good and interesting when Hush and Dick found themselves stranded in a creepy dimension.

While I will always see Dick and Bruce as a son/father duo I also really like the idea of Dick and Bruce being friends as Dick grew up. And because of that I really enjoyed Hush feeling especially mad at Dick for having “taken” his place in Bruce’s life.

Dick is written beautifully, he is serious and doesn’t let Hush play games with him. I love it. I would have loved to see more of this Dick Grayson, you know? The perfect mix between adorable, kind, sweet, badass, serious and smart.

This issue, brings to light in very subtle ways how much of a good man Dick is. He is just the best and in this issue he proves it more than once, when he knows exactly what Bruce would like for his “party”, when he carries Hush’s body to safety even though it was very far away and Hush continuously threatened to kill him...

When that guy decides to help them by saying that they needed to go “somewhere that reflects where your identity is strong and distinct” and Dick chooses Wayne Manor I feel like that was a clever decision. (It wouldn't be the first place that comes to mind for Dick specifically but he needed a place for both of them to be strong).

As Dick explains to Hush why he brought them there, Hush begins to question why Nightwing knows so much about him and why would Wayne Manor could be of help to Nightwing himself. Dick really makes Hush loose his cool completely and I like to think that he had thought that would happen.

When Hush unmasks Nightwing, Dick isn’t troubled at all, he is all cool and ready because he knows exactly what to say. And he destroys Hush by telling him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear. He tells Hush the truth, that even when Hush was just Tommy, he was never truly there for Bruce, he tried so hard to be like him that he forgot to be there for his friend, and that’s why as time passed Tommy and Bruce became more and more estranged.

If I weren’t already in love with the writing in this book, the twist that Dan Abnett gives us next would have made me go insane out of love for this story.

This might be me, but Hush revealing that he transformed his face to be an exact copy of Dick’s only proves that Dick is the MVP in the Bat-Clan (Dick-Family rise up!). Hush literally says that what he wanted “to go back to being his (Bruce’s) best friend again. So, I did it. Mr. Grayson. I practiced my art... I’ve become you, Dick Grayson”

Hush wanted to be important to Bruce again so he “became” Dick Grayson, that validates every theory/idea that we have had that Dick is Bruce’s (as well as others) support system and safety net. “His true confidant. Always there. His best friend.”

Dick Grayson’s power!!! Listen, I don’t care about Bruce and Dick’s relationship all that much, I still think that Bruce is a horrible father but my love for this book has nothing to do with Bruce, it has everything to do with how important Dick is written out to be for Bruce. How much value Dick’s love and they way that he cares for people has. In very few pages this story gives me (and maybe other readers) back that feeling of Dick being represented as the absolute best thing that happened to Batman and DC comics.

I know, it sounds like I am hyping up the story way too much but that how I felt when I first read it and I, right now, can only agree with my past self.

Anyway, let me go back to the issue, after Hush reveals his new face those scary faceless things get in Wayne Manor but Bruce also manages to open the dimension rift back up.

And here Dick shows us once more how much of a good man he is, he not only tries to reach for Hush as he is being attacked by those weird people but after he crosses the rift he asks if Hush was able to make it back with him! I mean, this man is just too precious!

Now comes the kinda sad but also adorable part, when Dick wakes up after having passed out in Bruce’s arms (when he went through the rift) he hears Bruce and Clark talking and that’s when he finds out that Clark will be Bruce’s best man at his wedding.

Travis Moore, I love you. His Dick Grayson is pretty, yes, but it is also full of emotion, his eyes are full of hurt but he still manages to look soft as if to hide how hurt it makes him that Bruce didn’t choose him. I love it, have I said that before?

And when Dick notices that he made Bruce feel uncomfortable he does his best to make him comfortable again! His eyes and his body language change... Travis Moore is a master at drawing emotions in characters and how those emotions change, it is honestly impressive, if someone doesn’t like the plot of this issue, the art, I am sure, makes up for it!

Dick looks so soft and relaxed, he even apologizes for things that aren’t his fault, he goes out of his way to make sure Bruce doesn’t feel bad for not choosing him as his best man and then procedes to tell Bruce that he would like to like to hang out with him as soon as he can because he felt guilty about them having distanced from one another.

I know, him blaming himself for things that aren’t his fault and him trying to comfort others when he didn’t do anything wrong to begin with, isn’t something that should be praised (and I am not doing that) but it’s in character for him. It is, because he is selfless and wants his family to be happy and comfortable.

(Just to be clear, I don’t believe for a second that Dick was the one that put “distance” between them, in canon it has always been Bruce, either Bruce couldn’t handle that Dick spent more time with the Titans or he pushed Dick away with his horrible attitude, but Dick is the one doing the talking and sadly Dick can sometimes come off as an unreliable narrator because he tends to take the blame for things that aren’t his fault or, at least, not completely his fault).

So yeah, those were my thoughts on Nightwing vs. Hush! Thank you for the question @chainusser ! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

#nightwing #dick grayson #nightwing vs hush #bruce wayne #DC comics

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ladyblogger-margie · 3 years

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Permit Pending - Part 1

Pairing: Will Miller (Triple Frontier) x F!Reader

Summary: All Will Miller wanted was a park permit for a VA fundraiser, what he got instead was an unscheduled afternoon exploring different parks with F!Reader.

Word Count: 3890

Rating: G (smut to come in chapter 2!)

Warnings: Course language. Eventual smut in future chapters.

a/n: My first time writing reader insert and for Will Miller AND for Triple Frontier, so any feedback at all is appreciated. No Y/N.

Series Master List

3-2-1, Will Miller counted down to the ring of his morning alarm clock. Just like every single day his phone blared a monotonous alarm sound at exactly 05:42 and Will shut it off. He spent the next three minutes practicing mindful breathing and preparing for the day ahead. At 05:45 he rose and changed into his gym clothes.

He shook together a protein shake as he rode the elevator down to the surprisingly decent gym in his building where he did exactly 30 minutes of cardio followed by an hour of weight training. Today was back and chest day – his favorite – so of course he decided to listen to a podcast instead of a playlist of high tempo motivational music. It was easier to be motivated for something you already wanted to do after all. The podcast today was about finding a balance between order and relaxation, something his therapist had recommended he do before his insurance ran out on therapy sessions and he opted out of continuing the process.

After the gym he returned to his apartment and started the coffee maker. After a quick shower and some facial hair maintenance, he dressed in one of his branded polo shirts and drank his coffee with his breakfast. He had two talks scheduled for the day before lunch, then an errand to run after lunch. Later that evening he would meet up with Benny for fight training. Today could not be any more normal for him - exactly the same as the day before, and the day before that.

Or so he thought.

You woke up groaning when your alarm went off at 7:15am. You snoozed it. You also snoozed your 7:22am, 7:31am, and 7:40am alarms. You finally rolled yourself out of bed at 7:50am in time for your quick 30 minute yoga routine before you got ready for work.

You breezed into the parks and recreation office at City Hall at exactly 8:57am. You grabbed a cup of coffee from the office machine knowing that if you got up at 7:15am as planned you would’ve had time to stop at Starbucks on your way into the office.

You spent your morning as you usually did - catching up on your passion projects which were the youth sport organizations. You ensured all the public teams had access to the necessary fields and confirmed with the greens team that they were all in working order. You loved your mornings at work even though you weren’t necessarily a morning person.

After lunch was another story. After a series of poorly timed budget cuts, your department was forced to cancel the internship program. That meant you were drafted into working the permit desks in the afternoons. You knew that it wasn’t actually the worst thing in the world, it was just so boring. The applications were longer than they had any right to be and filled with confusing language. This meant nearly every single application required a specific follow up that never fit one of the many form responses you’d been accumulating in the hopes of streamlining the process.

Of course you wanted your community to take advantage of the awesome parks in your town, but apparently the legal department didn’t. It put you in a difficult spot where sometimes you were forced to give the park permits to corporations instead of individuals and it drove you crazy to do so. It also locked you to a desk unless a specific permit issue arose that required an in-person follow up which never happened. Which is why after lunch you went off campus to get yourself your favourite Starbucks order because the permit desk on a Monday required the heavy artillery to survive.

Or so you thought.

After a few hours of pouring over pages and pages of documents, the most handsome man you had ever seen walked into the office. He had blonde hair and soft eyes which you noticed right away but immediately after you were drawn to his strong chest tightly wrapped in a blue polo with some logo you didn’t recognize over one of his firm pecs.

“My name is William Miller, and I’m hoping you can help me with a park permit,” the man said, holding out his hand to you.

You composed yourself as quickly as you could and introduced yourself in return, shaking his hand. “I’d be happy to help you with that,” you said as you let go. His hands were firm and from the callouses you could tell he worked out, though his general physique already gave that away.

He smiled at you and you felt something stir inside you that was not exactly professional, “Did you have a specific location in mind?”

“No, actually I was hoping to get your opinion. I’m helping to put together a community fundraiser, a BBQ actually, to help support the local VA, but I’m not exactly sure where would be the best place to set something like that up,” he replied.

You knew exactly where to send him. There was a perfect location you often recommended for huge family reunions, outdoor wedding receptions, and concerts. But as you looked down at the desk for the correct application form you saw the huge pile of pages still left unread taunting you and you got an idea, “Why don’t I give you a tour of a few different locations to help you make your decision?”

“That’s a service you offer here?”

“We aim to please” you said, desperate for an excuse to get out of the office.

Will hesitated as he fiddled with his keys for a moment.

“I could drive if you like,” he offered.

You smiled as professionally as you could, trying to contain your glee.

“Thank you, let me just check out with my boss and I’ll be right back” you darted away before you could blow your composure.

You stuck your head into your boss’ office. “Hey, I’m stepping away from the desk. Some guy is insisting I help him pick a park location for his permit request. I’m on my cell if there’s an emergency” you said, not stopping to hear their response before darting off.

You grabbed your coffee off the desk and landed in front of Will. “Ready,” you said as he smiled warmly at you. He held the door open for you as you left the office, and your boring afternoon, behind.

He led you to his truck in the parking lot and held open the passenger door for you which made your heart flutter though you tried to control it and you reminded yourself that this was a professional outing, not a date.

He climbed into the cab beside you and started the truck before he turned to you and asked, “Where to?”

You gave him directions to a park you know wouldn’t work, but it did have a couple of soccer fields, and you wanted to check the nets there for holes and figured you could push your luck a bit more today.

He pulled into the park parking lot and looked around with a slight purse of his lips and a furrow in his brow. He cleared his throat before asking, “I did explain it was a BBQ, right? I don’t really see a place for that,”.

You suddenly felt guilty, thinking he probably had somewhere else to be today and you derailed him for your own selfish reasons. “I’m sorry, I’m keeping you. I just had to get out of the office, and I took advantage of you. If you’ve got somewhere to be, leave me here with your information and I’ll get everything arranged for you at the perfect place,” you said, avoiding eye contact.

To your surprise he smiled at you, “You should’ve said, I’ve got nothing going on this afternoon, I can help you play hooky.”

You smiled back at him, relieved that he was on board with your scheme.

Will watched as you inspected the soccer nets for tears and he felt a warmth in his chest he hadn’t since his fiancee, who had left him after the incident at the Publix. You were really nice and he could tell you were passionate about your job, at least parts of it, especially hearing you explain exactly what your job was while he drove you both to this destination. Plus there was no denying that he found you incredibly attractive.

You returned to his side at the edge of the field after completing your inspection. “Thanks for waiting, there’s a middle-school tournament here starting tomorrow and I wanted to make sure everything was set,” you said to him and he knew he was in trouble.

“Ready for park number two?” you asked.

He nodded and led you back to the truck.

When you arrived at park number two, Will realized this had to be the place you intended for the permit and he was a bit disappointed. He had been hoping to stretch out his afternoon with you a little longer. Before he could ask if you needed a ride back to City Hall he heard you let go a soft, sad sigh. He looked at you but you were gazing out the front window at the park.

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

“I’m going to kill the guys in City Planning,” you muttered upset.

Will tried to figure out what it was you were looking at, but he couldn’t see anything wrong with the park. It looked like the perfect place for a fundraising BBQ.

You turned to Will hopeful, “Do you have tools in this truck, or is it just for show?”

He smiled at your joke, “I’ve got a box in the back. What’s the problem?”

You gestured to a park bench, “City Planning keeps installing anti-homeless architecture in my parks and I’m not going to let them get away with it,” you said with a sly smile.

Will knows for sure now that he definitely has a crush on you. He gets out of the truck and grabs his modest tool box from the bed and follows you over to the bench. He sees a metal arm rest in the middle of the bench, obviously installed to ensure no one lays across it. He checks the back to see how it’s attached and scoffs at the simple way it’s been bolted in and opens his tool kit.

“Am I going to get arrested for this?” He jokes as he gets to work.

You laugh, “You’re with me, I’ll protect you”.

You smile at this; you could get used to the idea of having his back. He gets the bar free and you take it from him. He gestures to another bench a few steps away and he gets to work on liberating that bench too. You happily follow him as you ask, “So, you work for the VA?”

“Yeah, I mostly just run my mouth though,” he grunted as he loosened the much tighter bolt on the second bench.

“Were you military?”

“Yeah,” He rolls up his sleeve and shows you a tattoo on his forearm, “Delta Force”.

“But you’re retired now?”

“Something like that,”.

“Aren’t you a bit young to be retired?”

He paused and handed you the second detached metal arm.

You felt self conscious, maybe you were being rude? “Sorry, it’s none of my business,” You said nervously.

He shook his head, “You’re fine. It’s just not something I’m necessarily proud of though”.

“You don’t have to explain, it’s none of my business,” You said, as you led the way to the third bench.

“I had some trouble, and I was told my services were no longer needed in the field,” he explained getting to work on the third arm, “But I found a way to be useful, stay involved”.

You nodded, “That couldn’t have been easy,”.

He shook his head, “There are good days, and bad days,” and he handed you the third arm.

He looked around and didn’t see any more pieces of hostile architecture so he turned to you, “Do you need a ride back to City Hall?”

You looked at him and felt bold. “This is obviously the best park for your event, but if you’ve got nowhere to be, did you want to make one more stop and see my favorite park?”

He smiled at you and nodded his head. You led the way back to his truck where he put his tools away and took the arms from you and dumped them in the bed.

“I can’t wait to drop those off at the City Planning office tomorrow,” you giggled triumphantly.

You and Will loaded up into the truck and you directed him out of the parking lot.

Park number 3 was your favorite place in the entire world, though to be fair you hadn’t actually travelled much so you couldn’t really compare it to anywhere else, but still. To you the lakeside beach next to the tree covered green grass was a slice of heaven. You’d go there on the weekends with a podcast lined up or an old book and spend the whole afternoon on a bench with a coffee and some fresh air.

When Will pulled into the parking lot, you suddenly got nervous. You had lost some of your earlier boldness that suggested you open yourself up like this to a man you just met. But there was something about him, a warmth and a vulnerability that made you want him to know you, and you to know him.

You both got out of the truck and the sun was starting to get low in the sky as you walked him to a bench that bordered the beach and the grass. You took a seat and he sat next to you, your thighs gently brushing. The contact sent a shiver down your spine that had nothing to do with the cool breeze that brushed through the leaves above your head.

Will looked out across the lake and around the park. He felt the warmth of your leg against his and the urge to lean over and brush your cheek with his thumb nearly overwhelmed him. You were so close, it would be so easily for him to just kiss you. But he wasn’t sure you’d want that. You wanted to play hooky from work, and share your love of the parks. He couldn’t let himself think that your enthusiasm for the day had anything to do with him. Instead of holding you under his arm and against his chest, he folded in on himself and looked at you.

He was about to ask what you were thinking about when his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and noticed Benny’s name on the caller ID and cursed under his breath. “I’m so sorry,” he said to you as he answered, “I’ve got to take this.”

He stands and walks a few paces away and you watch him leave, disappointed. You thought maybe he was about to ask you on a date, and tried not to let yourself be too upset that he didn’t. You watch as he rubbed his forehead and shook his head as he talked on the phone to someone you couldn’t hear and didn’t know.

He hung up the phone and turned to look at you, and you turned away, a little embarrassed to have been caught staring at him. He walks back to you on the bench but doesn’t sit down again.

“Thank you for showing me this place, it’s beautiful,” he said softly and his sweet voice drew your gaze to his lips as he spoke. You felt the electricity surge between you all the way through to the tips of your fingers and your toes. “I hadn’t realized how late it’s gotten, I’m supposed to be at the gym, training my brother,” he explained.

You nodded and stood up next to him, so close you had to look up to meet his eyes. “That’s fine, I can call an Uber or something back to City Hall” and you pulled out your phone.

He put his hand on your arm, “Don’t be silly, I’ll take you back. Plus gotta make sure those city planning guys get their gift.”

Your breath hitched when he touched you and you couldn’t contain your smile as you nodded. “Are you sure? I’ve already taken so much of your time” you said, unable to tear your eyes from his.

“I want to”.

He walks you back to the truck and opens your door for you again and you hop in both flustered and excited.

The drive back to City Hall is more quiet than you’ve been all day. Your previous trips were full of chit chat about sports and books and random small talk. Now all that existed in the truck was the electricity and tension between you. You wondered if he felt it too, or if the surprising infatuation was a one-sided affair.

Will gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles went white. He had spent most the afternoon with you and he failed to buck up the courage to ask you out. You took him to your favorite place and basically hand wrapped a romantic moment, and he blew it. He didn’t know if you noticed the potential romance of the location, or if you intended to entice him so completely, but you had. And he blew his shot.

Back at City Hall he handed you the metal arms from your adventure and you stayed by the truck. You were hoping he’d ask you out before he left.

“Thanks for the ride, and the impromptu bench liberation, and the excuse to get out of the office,” you said with a smile, lingering longer than you needed to.

He smiled back, maybe he could ask you now and he could still pull off the romantic gesture. “I had a great day, which I hadn’t actually expected when I went in earlier looking to fill out boring paperwork,” he said leaning unconsciously closer to you.

He took a deep breath, ready to ask - when his cell phone rang again. He silenced it and tried again, “Hey-“ and the phone rang again and he answered it. “I’m on my way, asshole. Start with cardio,” he said, frustrated, “you don’t need me for that”.

He hung up and looked at you embarrassed by his outburst, absolutely believing that he had blown it for sure now. But you just looked at him amused, not annoyed.

“Friend of yours?” you asked, stifling a laugh.

“My baby brother. He’s a fighter and I’m his trainer, which I do for free by the way, but he loves to act like he’s my boss”, he explained.

“Sounds like a character.”

“He is something that’s for sure. He’s also really special, really talented. He deserves a better lot than what he’s got”, Will's voice trailed off as he thought bitterly about how Benny left service when he did and the guilt he carried, unspoken, about that ever since.

Will leaned back, “Do you need a walk to your car?”

“I’m alright, thank you. I better head back up to the office first anyway. Thanks again for today. Maybe I’ll see you around”, you forced a smile, abandoning all hope of a date and retreating into the building.

Will kicked himself mentally all the way to the gym. When he got there he was in a bad mood.

“Finally!” Benny shouted at him when he walked in.

“I have a life outside of you, you know that right?” Will spit towards Benny.

“Fuck’s wrong with you?” Benny asked.

“I told you I was on my way, what was so important that you had to call me again and nag me?” Will asked.

“You’re never late, I was worried,” Benny admitted.

Will paused. He hasn’t thought of it like that. He was never late, it was so unlike him. It was actually kinda nice Benny worried, even if he was an ass about it.

“Well I’m here now, let’s get to it”, Will shrugged and he climbed into the ring opposite Benny.

After training they grabbed some food together. After scarfing down most of his meal without breathing, Benny asked Will, “Why were you late? You didn’t say.”

Will cleared his throat, “I was trying to get a park permit for the VA BBQ”.

“I thought you did that right after lunch?”

“It took longer than expected,” Will said vaguely.

Benny squinted his eyes at his older brother until the metaphorical lightbulb went off. “Oh shit!” he said, “You were with a girl! Fuck, I never would’ve called you away if I knew, you’ve been alone for so long!”

Will threw his used napkin at his taunting brother, “Fuck off.”

“Seriously,” Benny said, not laughing anymore, “I hope I didn’t blow it for you, I want you to be happy.”

Will sighed, “I didn’t get her number, and I didn’t ask her out.”

Benny gave him a sympathetic smile, “At least you got the permit for the event.”

Will pinched the bridge of his nose, “Fuck, I completely forgot to actually get the permit.”

Benny smirked at him. “You know what that means, right?”

“No,” Will groaned.

“You gotta go back and see her tomorrow.”

Will leaned back in his chair, his mood dramatically improved.

The next morning you dragged yourself out of bed after your third alarm and skipped yoga, just not in the mood. You hoped stopping at Starbucks would get you out of your funk, but even your favorite coffee didn’t have its usual effect. You felt so stupid for feeling like this today. You literally knew Will Miller for all of one afternoon, it shouldn’t ruin your whole week that he didn’t ask you out.

You walked into the office ready to be grumpy for the rest of the day when you noticed Will stand up from the chair in which he was sitting.

Will had been waiting for you since the office opened. He was there long enough to wonder if what he was doing was creepy or sweet. The longer he waited, the worse he felt about his plan. Though once he saw you, his resolve formed and he stood to greet you. Any insecurity he had melted away when he saw how you smiled at him when you noticed him there.

“Hey,” he started, finding his voice.

“Hey,” you replied, breathless.

“I never did fill out a permit yesterday, I got distracted by someone way more interesting than paperwork,” he said, unable to contain a grin.

You felt something deep in your center as you too failed to contain a beaming smile.

“I can help you with that,” you walked behind the permit desk and he met you on the other side.

You handed him the paperwork and helped him fill everything out. The entire time neither of you could contain your ear splitting smiles. When he finished you stamped his form and returned his copy.

“You’re all set, Mr. Miller,” you said, “Will there be anything else?”

He looked you the eye, “Are you free Friday night? I’d love to take you out.”

You nodded eagerly, “I’d like that.”

PART 2

#will miller #will miller x reader #will miller x f!reader #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #william ironhead miller #william ironhead miller x F!Reader #william miller fanfiction #fanficion #fanfic series #permit pending series

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straykidsworldwild · 3 years

Text

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 2 (1/2) : MC goes to work and a certain boy comes to meet her for lunch.

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Heyy guys! Here's a piece of part2. It was too long to put the whole thing on Tumblr at once (apparently) so I had to cut it in half 🙈 (2/2) is coming!!

(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and the owners of the pics.)

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I slowly wake up, feeling and hearing something buzzing. With my eyes still closed, I slide my hand under the pillow next to mine to grab my phone. I hate waking up by alarms… It feels like I am being cut in my sleep. And I’m not going to lie… I love my sleep just as much as I love food. Who doesn’t? I open my eyes and turn the alarm off before quickly closing them again. I didn't sleep well last night… When I went to bed after texting Phil to tell him I got home fine, I couldn’t stop thinking about the discussion we had at his bar. Was I right to say “yes” for lunch tomorrow noon? Was he being serious? Is he playing a game? Am I falling in his net? I don’t know and I think that’s what terrifies me with him. I just don’t want to be his next hookup… If I start something, it’s for a serious relationship, not to play around. That’s not my thing. But that’s exactly what Phil does so… I guess I should just trust a little more myself. Anyway, that was just the first part of the night, because the next part, all I could do was think about my uncle. Every time I closed my eyes, I just recalled amazing moments with him. Moments that mom, he and I won’t ever have again… I laid on my back, on my sides, on the side… And I did this over and over until managing to fall asleep.

I turn on the lamp on my nightstand when I hear my phone suddenly buzzing again. But I turned it off… Oh! I grab my phone and answer the call after looking at the I.D. caller.

- Hey, mom, how are you? I just woke up… I tell my mother with a still sleepy voice as I sit on the side of my bed. The light is still too much so I close my eyes for a few seconds more. Suddenly, a noise coming from behind the phone call catches my attention. It’s not a noise I am used to hear her make... Mom? I call her with some concern.

- “He's gone…” I hear her simply whispering through the phone as another sound catches my attention again. Sobs… Mom is crying. I’ve heard my mother crying before. It’s so… Strange and heartbreaking. I mean, mom has always been that strong figure, fighting everyone coming in her way or in mine… But she never broke down before me.

- I know, mom. I'm so sorry. But… I begin to respond calmly, keeping the pain to myself. I’ve never heard nor seen my mom crying in my life. She’s all I have as a family and hearing her in such pain… It’s heartbreaking.

- "Can you come over today? I'll need you to finish the preparation of the funeral. I can't do this alone. And..." She interrupts me, sounding overwhelmed and submerged. I lower my head and keep a desperate sigh inside of me. I wish I could already be next to her and tell her to not worry. That she doesn’t have to do anything. That I will take care of this for her. But I can’t because of my dumbass boss… Unbelievable...

- I'd love to, mom, really. But I have to go to work, I begin to say, sounding sad and sorry for not being there for her. I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying my own mother. That I’m not giving her the support she needs right now. And maybe the one that I also need... But she knew uncle Alex for longer than I did so it’s fairer that I should be there for her... But once I'm out, I'll stop by your house to come help you, okay? So I can see you a little bit too, mom. I should finish at 3p.m. today, if my boss doesn't think otherwise, I tell her gently. Though, an unsure point is heard in my voice. We never know with my boss… If he had a bad day, he is capable of giving you two extra hours to do just because he wanted to.

- "You know, your uncle was always there for me. I remember when we were kids…" I frown with sadness to the sound of her voice. It’s broken… She sounds empty. Out of life. "There was this horrible kid terrorizing the youngsters. I was one of those kids being terrorized, but of course, as my big brother, he protected me. He always did. He was really protective, you know?" She recounts me in brief words with a trembling voice. I know the story by heart. Uncle Alex used to tell it to me as a bedtime story. He was the hero of course. I never doubt that… I hear mom sniffling and letting another sob out. "So was he with you, baby. He loved you as his own, you know?", oh… When she said "baby", her voice just completely broke. I could barely hear it. I continue to look down as I feel a lump forming in my throat. I miss Uncle Alex like crazy... "And he did the same when your father left..." She admits to me, going to the topic about how my uncle was protective. Which I already knew as well... It honestly hurts to hear all of this so soon after his tragic death. I still haven’t digested it. It’s still not real to me. I still think I will see him today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... But it seems to make mom feel better by saying those words to me, by recounting her memories. So, I'll listen carefully. Or I'll try, at least… If I don't break before too. Her pain is so profound… And shared.

- Mom, you don't have to tell me all of this now. Let some time pass. It's hurting you, I say with a slight pleading tone, hoping she will listen to me. I know it's hard to not think about it or to not want to talk about it. But I just think it's too soon for her. And for me... She can't turn the page in a finger snap. It’s impossible. Even if she feels like she did or she has to do it, it might not be the best way.

- "I love you, MC. You're my baby girl." She says over the phone, sniffling sadly again. I nod even though she doesn't see me. I am staring at the floor, my sight being blurry. Not again...

- I love you so much, mom, I reply to my mother, controlling my voice as much as possible despite the tight ball in my throat. She doesn’t need to know that I’m about to cry too. I hear her sniffling behind the phone call again followed by a new sob. I can't… Look, I have to go, mom, but I'll come see you later today, okay? I'll come with a little surprise, I tell her gently, wanting and feeling the need to cheer her up. I just want my mother to be happy again.

- "A surprise? You know I don't like surprises much, MC.", She replies with a mix between her crying and a faint chuckle before reminding me how she has always hated surprises. I know…

- That's why I'm bringing you one, I answer to my mom, cracking a smile to the sound of her faint chuckle.

- "You're a little Devil, just like your uncle... What's the surprise?" She begins to say before pausing. It's true, I got a little bit of him too. I guess it's because he sort of raised me and because I'm a (l/n) as well.

- Mom, if I tell you there would be no point for me to call it a surprise, wouldn't it? I answer with a gentle and playful tone before giggling. I hear her crying turning into giggles.

- "I tried. Okay, go to work, baby, and... I'll do a few things here... I'll try. Oh, and I ordered the flowers you asked me to pick for your uncle." She responds with another small chuckle before sniffling one more time. I smile a little more, glad to hear that I managed to make her smile a little bit despite the situation. She ordered the flowers… My smile grows a little more, glad about this news.

- Okay, call me if you need me for anything. Doesn't matter if I work or not, okay? I love you, mom, I reply sincerely to my mother, giving her a little cheerful tone.

- "I will. I love you too, baby. See you later.", She says back to me, sounding a little better then when I answered the phone. I smile and wait a few seconds before hanging up. Right… I feel like I have another long day coming… I let a long sigh out, as if I am trying to get rid of a weight on my shoulders, before wiping the tears in my eyes. Well, I've got to get ready...

Almost an hour later, I am on my way to work. Like every day, I see the same streets, the same cars, the same shops, the same streetlights… Of course, I am not going there with an ounce of motivation. I’d rather stay home or go anywhere else, but not there. I’m not saying being a waitress is the worst job, but my boss and some clients are actually really hard to deal with. Anyway…

I rapidly reach the back door of the restaurant I work at and enter the building which leads to the kitchen. The cooks and the waitresses are all here, ready to work. Oh, almost… I hold the door for Angie and she runs in, thanking me at the same time. We exchange a smile and get ready to start working. The clients should start coming soon… It's been three months since my boss decided to expand the restaurant to include a little coffee shop. I think it was a good idea, a good change in Duskwood. It was a test at first to see if people would like it. The clients seemed satisfied so that’s why I am here so early every morning now.

- MC! I look up immediately after hearing a gravelly voice yelling my name. My boss walks briskly towards me, a frown of madness plastered over his face. As usual... What time does my watch indicate? He asks me while showing me his watch on his right wrist. What…?

- 8:01am.? I answer, not sure where this is going.

- You were supposed to be here at 8:00a.m.. Not at 7:59a.m., not at 8:01a.m., but at 8:00a.m.! Is it so hard to understand in your dummy brain? He tells and asks me with madness, actually scolding me for arriving one minute late. As always, he raises his voice while talking, making sure everyone can hear who is commanding here. I guess you see what I meant when I said that I wasn’t very motivated to come to work...

- I'm sorry, boss, I simply say as I don’t want to argue nor lose my job. Well, it’s mainly that I’m not up to an argument right now… I have other things to think about. To worry about.

- Don't. Since you came late, you'll go home late. You're finishing at 6p.m. today, he tells me with a correcting tone, looking down on me. He’s joking, right? 6pm?

- What? You're making me do three extra hours for one minute late? I demand him with disbelief as I’m getting upset.

- And you're not paid for those, he points out seriously, still speaking as loud as before. Not paid?! Better and better...

- Sir, I can’t work extra hours today. I have to go see my mom this afternoon after work. My uncle passed away yesterday and I have to help for the funerals and… I explain to my boss with seriousness, going up against him. I mean, I can be shy and quiet and all, just don’t take me for an idiot or play with me.

- That's not a valuable excuse. Get to work before I change my mind and actually fire you for rebellion, he orders me seriously and sternly. Right… I look down, not responding to not receiving any consequences later. Everyone, back to work! he screams to all of his employees before walking away to do his life. Dick!

- Don't listen to this cold hearted dick, MC, I hear Angie telling me as she comes to stand in front of me. She’s a little taller than me. If you need to leave, then do. I'll cover for you. I knew something wasn't right yesterday but we barely crossed paths so I couldn't ask you what was wrong. I'm really sorry about your uncle, MC, she apologizes sincerely to me as she puts her hand on my shoulder. Angie is one of the only workers I get well along with here. Yeah, nothing goes well in this restaurant… It’s sad because it could have its potential. I smile at my friend while weakly nodding.

- Thanks, Angie, I thank her sincerely as I place my hand on top of hers. She smiles and nods back before the two of us take separated ways to go do our work.

The morning passed pretty quickly to be fair. I prefer when it’s like this. Working and watching the time pass is one of the worst feelings. There were so many clients this morning that I didn’t have time to get bored. It’s actually pretty rare that there are so many people coming in the morning. I mean, it’s still a little buzzy usually but not this much. I hope that will put my boss in a good mood and he’ll kind of forget the late minute thing this morning… Right, even I don’t believe this… I take the plates and cutleries that customers have left to clear the table. I clean it well and let other customers settle in. The noon hour and 1pm are the worst. There is often a line of customers waiting for a table but it goes on pretty well usually. Anyway… It’s time for my break. I put the dirty dish and cutleries in the bassin which is on a cart to later go to the kitchen.

- Hi, I turn around to look at the person who is not so unfamiliar to me, I'm looking for a pretty (h/c) with crazy (e/c) in which you would easily get lost in. Have you seen her around? says and asks me, a man, using a flirtatious and slight playful tone at the same time. I smile and softly laugh while nodding.

- Yeah, I think she went back to the kitchen a little while ago. But I don’t know where she went after, I reply playfully to my friend as I point towards the kitchen. The man softly laughs back before passing his hand in his long hair which isn't in a ponytail or a bun for once. How dare he look so good?

- How are you, Gorgeous? Asks me gently, Phil, as we are facing one another.

- I’m good. I have the same problem as last night, but I’m good. You? I answer with a very faint sigh as I keep a small smile before asking him.

- I'm good, thanks, he responds, having that damn smirk in the corner of his lips. The two of us stare at each other for a little moment, a smile on our face. I can’t really explain why or how, but seeing him here, now, like we said last night, makes me happy. So, is it still on for having lunch together or...? He asks me, a point of nervousness heard in his voice. He isn’t sure of himself which is so rare to see.

- Yes… I begin to tell him before hearing a gravelly voice calling for me.

- MC! I turn around and see my boss approaching us. Oh… No time for talking! Get back to work! He tells me harshly in front of Phil. Oh God… So awkward! I know I have said stories to my friends about my boss, but none of them actually saw the man talking to me that way. And I wish it wouldn’t have been Phil seeing and hearing him talking to me this way. What is he going to think?

- You're seriously letting that dumbass talking to you this way? I hear Phil whispering lowly in my ear. His deep voice echoing in my ear… He sounded like he couldn’t just believe what he just heard. Oh but it’s real, Phil… I live it every day like all the employees here.

- It's almost 1p.m., sir. I'm on my break… I begin to respond to my boss, not forgetting that I actually want to get out of work at 3p.m and not 6p.m. I still have hope… A faint one but, it’s still there.

- Break? He repeats my word with disbelief as he is standing right before my face now. No break for you today. Come on, move! He exclaims, speaking with a mad tone as usual. If I didn’t know him, I would think he actually hate me. Which might be the case… It’s not possible to scream so much on someone without reasons, right? Ugh, is that guy ever happy? Or just calm?

- Hey! I hear Phil’s loud voice coming from behind me before I could say anything to my boss. I slightly widened my eyes in surprise as I didn’t think Phil would say something. She's your employee, not your stooge! You should watch it! He tells him with a warning tone which I’ve never really heard before. The only time I heard him using this tone was when one of his regulars overstepped the line. I look on my left as I see Jessy’s brother standing next to me, slightly getting before me. Oh… He looks so mad.

- And who might you be to talk back to me? Questions, my boss to Phil. Oh no… I glance around us and notice that customers are staring at us, watching the scene. So awkward… Before Phil could do something or say a word, and mostly before it goes too far, I grab discreetly Phil’s wrist. He doesn’t move nor look at me. My boss is still staring at Jessy’s brother. He is not pleased at all...

- Look, sir. She's been working since 8:00a.m., and it's 1p.m. in less than five minutes. You can't take off her lunch break just because you're her boss, it's against the law. But if you think you are above them, maybe we could stop by the police station to see who's right? Responds calmly and politely, Phil, all while still having this warning and serious tone. I’ve always been amazed by how polite he can stay despite the circumstances or the situation. I mean, it’s easy to lose control due to anger, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he fights.

- 30minutes. No more, tells me, my boss, reluctantly giving me a break. Thanks to Phil… I nod positively before he turns around and leaves us at a quick pace. Phil turns around before looking down at me.

- Thanks, but you didn't have to do that, Phil, I thank him with a small shy tone, yet, thankful he actually stepped in for me.

- I did and I wanted to. But honestly, that guy deserved more than just a "talk", he replies with sincerity and seriousness. While talking about my boss, I could hear the madness in his voice. I nod understandingly as I give him a small smile, appreciating it for standing up for me. It’s not every day it happens. Come on, he suddenly tells me with his infectious smile. I don't answer. Instead, my smile grows wider while the two of us walk through the restaurant to reach the outside. Oh, he has a bag! How did I not see it?

#duskwood app #duskwood phil #duskwood game #duskwood mc #duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood jessy #multifandom #phil x mc #phil hawkins #iamjake #phil duskwood

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everafterkeiji · 3 years

Text

Song: Getting Over You by Lauv

Summary: Unexpected things happen all the time but meeting him was one of the best parts of it.

Pairings: Atsumu Miya x gn!reader

Word count: 7.1k

Tags, Genre: implied enemies to semi lovers! trope, slight angst, curse words, timeskip! Atsumu

A/N: pls i didn't intend to change it last minute but pls let me know if u liked it cuz im still having second thoughts <3

“No- I’m sorry.” Atsumu says as you felt your heart snap and break into two distant pieces. You already limited your expectations but there was a miniature amount of hope that you held onto and that was when you should’ve lost your grip.

“It’s fine, ‘Tsumu.”

It obviously wasn’t. No matter how loud the cries of your heart were, what mattered to you in this moment was to forget it ever happened- to run away and never face another failed trial of love. Atsumu can see past your smile and he hated the way it had to end in a way he avoided. There would be a time where his feelings would be up to confrontation but when it finally happened, he’d became a coward.

He was late to realize what the outcomes could lead to. How certain was he that your paths would meet again? How was he sure that he can revert this scenario in a better way that he wanted when you were losing your hold onto him?

“I have to go but it was nice knowing you, Miya.” Your lips were tugged in a weak smile while he questions why his body lacked the power to move but what resumes to play in his mind was the way his name escaped your lips like it was a curse to say it.

Turning your heel, there was an ache in Atsumu’s head. Was it regret? His decisions tied in knots? His emotions unable to declutter themselves? Hesitantly, he reaches for you. His hand wrapped around yours as you glanced down on his soft skin you used to despise to get near to.

His eyes told you stories that were hard to decipher all at once. His stories didn’t start with a setting, it started and ended with you, not a single page where you weren’t there but it seems like the chapters you had in your own story were being torn off to erase the traces of false hope.

“Y/N, I'm so sorry.” He whispers while you felt his hand tighten to make sure that you could stay- even if it lasted for a minute because he wasn’t sure fate could spare you two another moment.

But then, you softly removed his hold on you while the cold sweat runs down his forehead.

“It’s okay, ‘Tsumu. We were just never meant for each other.”

We could’ve been.

“Thank you for your time.” You bid the player as both bow each other as a way of manner. You gathered your bag as the athlete turns to you with a kind smile.

“I enjoyed the interview. I’m impressed at how prepared and professional you are. How long have you been doing this?” He asks, adjusting his outfit while you toss your bag on your shoulder with your camera slung around your neck.

“There was a journalism club back in my high school and I joined in ever since I was a first year.”

“You’re in college now?”

“Yes, sir.” He chuckles at your formality while he gives a pat to your shoulder.

“That’s good to hear. Goodluck with everything- I believe that you’ve got bright things ahead of you.” Your heart fluttered at the compliment while you bid your goodbyes. You step out of the hotel feeling the satisfaction hit you like a prize. The report can finally be simplified into a few more subtle fixes and maybe by 1am, you’d be able to present it to your professor without doubting your work.

Sighing happily, you decided to reward yourself to a lovely lunch with a view you often visited due to a reminiscent feeling that bubbles in your system. After ordering, you sat outside admiring the way the sun sets and leaves a lasting beauty before the moon shows.

The stress was fading from you. You had expected that the project would’ve taken weeks for you to finish knowing that some retired athletes usually avoid questions to why they left the sport they used to love. You had called a few, a struck of confidence was enough to make you do so but they often cancel your request because they either paid attention to your young age or because they weren’t ready to be asked such personal questions about them. You were lucky to score and interview with a well-known athlete whose had his fair share of the spotlight during his early 20’s. Sadly, his retirement was due to an accident and his weak body levels couldn’t bare the adrenaline of the sport. He was kind, patient, and understanding. Ever since he agreed, your attention was on the questions you’d lay upon him seeing that this was an opportunity you can’t waste. After gathering some of his past glories, you narrowed down your interrogation on what remains important to benefit the topic of your project. You were more than proud because of the compliment he had given you and the fact that you might be able to catch a break after a hectic week.

Opening your camera and flicking through the photos to decide on which you were going to use. Suddenly, a photo meets your sight. The peak of blonde and gray hair with a uniform that you missed.

The Inarizaki Volleyball Team.

Most especially, him.

A few years has passed since you’ve seen him and his brother. Osamu’s last interaction with you was filled with nothing but sweet memories and a hug that you could never forget the warmth of, while Atsumu’s last memory with you remained bittersweet- like a sour flavor in his tongue that never left. You tried too hard to forget fragments of your time with him but because of how much work you put yourself through, you lost time to reflect on the moments that didn’t hurt.

Half of your high school life was compressed into confusing parts of your story.

But the chapter that seems to be the most influential part of it, was where you got to meet the blonde who has stomped on your heart.

It was funny to be remembered as a person who had the guts to sneeze during the great Miya setters serve.

“Achoo!”

You immediately cover your face with your handkerchief as your sneeze echoed through the gym making Atsumu’s hand lose its power because he was stunned by the sound, the ball hitting the net instead as he almost hits Aran who was wide eyed that ball went his way. The team could hear Osamu’s ‘uh-oh’ and it was enough for them to know what the setter feels after the unfortunate event.

Atsumu grits his teeth as the other team cheers knowing they got the score while his head jolts to the crowd, aggressively searching for the one who messed up his serve. Even eyeing his fans who got scared by the way he turned his head in their direction.

Meanwhile, you’ve got glares surrounding you as your friend nudges you, letting out an exhale of disbelief that you’ve got death stares.

“We’ll get the next point ‘Tsumu, don’t worry.” Osamu says landing a hand to his brothers' shoulder while Atsumu readies himself for the serve of the opposite team.

“Whatever.”

After that certain match, Atsumu was more than determined to hunt down whoever caused the flunk of his serve. Silly as it is, he’s never heard someone dare to speak during his serve. He’d always let out a hand signal for them to be quiet- let it be known that if someone spoke, he’d be fine with it but a whole sneeze? He’d never let it go, especially when it resonated in his ears.

So, imagine the look on his face when he hears the exact same sound when he was just stopping by his locker.

“Fucking dust.” You said sniffling as you closed the door to your locker, and you were face to face with a wide-eyed Miya Atsumu holding out his finger and pointing it to you, as if he was accusing you of murder.

“It’s you!” He shouts making you raise your eyebrow at him, but the raise of his voice had intimidated you.

“What?” You asked him, not finding a single clue on whatever he was pertaining to.

“You messed up my serve by sneezing.” He says in the tone of ‘as-a-matter-of-fact’ making you lick your lips, a hand to your hip as you looked at him.

“I’m not apologizing for something I can’t control.” You were completely baffled by this man. Sure, you were his classmate, but this was your first year and you barely cared to take notice of all of them, only focusing on your school group that had you busy.

“You could’ve held it for like 2 more seconds at least.” You blinked before letting out a tired exhale as you eye him up and down. The setter of the school's volleyball team, you were aware of that because of how many matches you’ve been dragged to, but he’s never come up to you before.

This was a whole other introduction.

“Miya, right?” You asked him as he steps forward, looking down on you with a sly smirk.

“I guess I’m sorry.”

Atsumu stays silent for a few seconds but returns to his angry pout as he continues to stare at you.

“What’s your name?” Atsumu asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Y/N.”

From thereon, it looked like your life’s plot had spiked up. Atsumu was- you could call it as a miscalculation. Someone so loud and had his ego constantly fed was not someone you would stick around due to your strict schedule of balancing schoolwork and papers from your club. It was like a bump in the road wherein the objects in your car would’ve been juggled around because of the impact- that's what it felt like. Thinking that two years would’ve passed by like a breeze, time slowed down with him. The constant bickering and arguments were embedded in you like a tattoo. The way his cackle would echo through your ears when he’d struck a nerve to you, the way he’d purposely call you nicknames you swore you hated, to the same jokes can be dragged on for hours, and how every fiber of your body promised you’d leave when you’ve had enough.

But promises were always broken.

You stuck around and he did too. Atsumu provided you with his trust and company whenever you needed it. It’s a pleasant experience but it surely wasn’t at its best. What comes with it were headaches and harsh words but having a person who knew you until graduation and stayed was a different reason. He was a familiar, a person who isn’t a call away when you needed it but being in their presence would give you a pinch of comfort.

Maybe the only thing you can thank Atsumu for is getting to know his twin brother.

You accidentally sent a text to Osamu about you panicking about a missing file to be passed the following day and Osamu was up and ready to help you locate it. After finding it, you decided to treat him for being a life saver and he of course, was having the time of his life for the free food- it was also his favorite restaurant at that moment. During this time, you’ve got to talk more about each other. Months pass now Osamu and you were way better friends than you and his brother.

You and Osamus’ bond were the type that was just so serene, hardly any type of judgement when you’d bring up a problem, and all secrets were kept tight.

Osamu was the shoulder you can lean on, while Atsumu’s would shove your head away when you do so.

Your friendship drifted away when Atsumu stabbed your heart with the words “No.” and “I’m sorry.” You hesitated that day, to dial Osamu’s phone the way you used to, but it never happened. Your sobs muffled your voice and if you called him, he’d never understand a word that you’d say.

The opposite is that Osamu would understand everything.

Because you and Atsumu mirrored the same amount of pain.

He’d never seen his brother so- ruined. Atsumu’s thin walls didn’t shield his shouts of sorrow while Osamu withstood every bit of the torture show his brother had. Checking him on the next day, the setter was fast asleep with bags under his eyes and a red nose, clutching onto his pillow so tightly.

Osamu knew that day that the damage has been done and not a single band aid would mend the two shattered hearts.

Atsumu strolls to the around looking for a restaurant along with his teammates. The sun has fully set making the streets of Japan light up with how busy and crowded they were. Bokuto and Hinata were busy pointing at stands that had their favorite slabs of meat while Sakusa trails behind them with a mask, wanting to be removed from the push of people. As the eyes of the blonde land on a certain stand with multiple notes stuck onto a board, he smiles fondly. He then sees two kids running with smiles on their lips as they held each other's hand, obviously excited to explore the night.

“Come on, don’t be a wuss.” Atsumu says as you rolled your eyes and thought hard about his hand that was held out in front of you. Atsumu grunts before taking your hand in his before you could even decide properly. You followed his lead as he walked you through the sea of people. You were nervous that he had left practice to accompany you. Observing you from afar, you looked devastated, but you continued the rest of the day with a smile like nothing happened. Seeing that you looked dull talking to Karou, he pulled you away from whatever void of sadness you surrounded yourself in.

“Atsumu shouldn’t you be at practice?” You asked sighing, still with his hand in yours as you stopped by a stand.

“I should be but whatever that Karou did is obviously hurting you, you idiot.” Your eyes widened at his statement and this reaction confirmed his suspicions as anger forms inside of him. What could that boy have done to get you this upset? Did he physically hurt you? Atsumu hated how he cared- it wasn’t his business to meddle with but the frown on your lips was something he wanted to remove from you.

“Thank you.” You muttered as he buys you the same thing he ordered. He sees how you weren’t as colorless as before. The lights of the night brought saturation to your features as his eyes adored every feature of yours.

“It’s nothing.”

“Atsumu-san?” Hinata asks, tapping the boy on the shoulder while the blonde awakens from his escape.

Atsumu looks around once more, seeing that there wasn’t a trace of you, he moves on.

Like he was supposed to do in the first place.

“For our new assignment, why don’t we take the vice versa of your last project. Retirement is inescapable but why not find the reason they’d got into the sport. What makes it so exhilarating and unforgettable? That will be our topic this week. I’m giving you a week for interviews, photos, and articles. Video format is more suited for this task. Is that clear?” You all nodded as you wrote down the list of possible athletes to meet, jotting down an outline of some key points to remember.

“A tip for you all: look for the younger generations. It doesn’t matter to me what status the athlete stands in right now, it could be a friend or even a child. What I’m looking for the depths of the details in your research.” The professor stands making all of you bid him goodbye as he walks out of the room. You gathered your notebooks, sighing that you won’t have the time to properly rest- an exam was near right at the submission of your new task. You realized that you needed to sort out the things you were required to do before everything would pile up and get tangled in the short amount of time.

Who should I interview? God, everyone is so busy at this season. You thought. It’s true- you realized that matches were always lined up by this month. You also had classes to attend to and your mind could collapse at any given moment. You were more than worried about organizing your time properly but the feeling that you’d have several sleepless nights haunts you. You wished he could have extended the submission- though it didn’t get any better since after exams you tended to be drained from studying all night.

Going back to your apartment, you decided to put sticky notes all over your wall to help you sort out your priorities. Tomorrow would be Saturday meaning that you’ve done all the works to be passed on Monday and that you had zero meetings or classes. Saturday and Sunday would be divided to work parts, by Monday you should be up and running to work again.

You couldn’t let go of this group. It had given you countless of opportunities- even an offering to be an editor at a well-known magazine agency. You were in queue for the letter, so you decided to continue with the tasks of the group. You were thankful that you got used to the craziness of it all. The ability to multitask, to put the phone down once in a while, managing your time, those were just one of the benefits of getting used to it. The things you hated was that you barely had time for yourself. To lounge and just do nothing never met with what you were doing. You envied how some people from your group would plan some hang outs during a busy week and you always questioned how they managed to do it all without panicking.

You yawned as you felt your stomach growl at the scent of the delicious street food. Seeing that you fell short on money because the amount that was in your wallet was enough for your way home, it meant you’d have to wait to eat dinner until you came home. Letting out a groan you decided to walk your way even if you get shoved. God, you were starving and exhausted. The emotions were starting to fill you the more you moved. It didn’t help that everyone was so loud. You could hear the sound of the cackles from the drunken men in the corner, the cries of the baby that brought irritation to your eardrums and even the off-key singing of a (possibly) drunk girl at karaoke. You just wanted to cover your ears and crawl back to your bed not caring if you’d only be able to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep.

As you walked, you felt a boiling pile of liquid drip to your stomach making you let out a yelp as your clothes were drenched in the coffee stain that you despised. The liquid got to your skin making you wince at just how it impacted on your skin. You felt your eyes water as the woman tried to pat away the drink but instead made it worse because you wanted the fabric to be away from you as possible- which was the opposite of what she was doing.

“Oh my god- I'm so sorry.” She kept saying while patting your abdomen while you tried to wave her off, but she kept going making the tears flow from your eyes as you chose to walk away, covering your face at how humiliated you were. You sobbed in your hands as you bumped into someone before removing them from your face to find a bench to sit on but seeing that people were already turning their heads to look at you, you’ve had enough already.

Finally finding your bus stop, you sat down burying your face in the palm of your hands sobbing as your mind replays how you’ve made a fool out of yourself for the last time. Everything was going terribly and you didn’t know how to control it without losing your cool. Sure, you’ve managed to escape the people but the feeling is still badly glued to you.

“Is everything okay?”

Someone asks but the voice became a blur to you because you were so focused on your sobs and the unstable breathing.

“Go away.” You whispered but there was a weight added to your left side as you kept your face hidden behind your hands.

“I shouldn’t have asked.” The man says looking down before standing up to leave the bench, making you intake in a sharp exhale, relieved he left.

“Why does everything have to be so fucking difficult? How am I gonna interview a volleyball player at this state?” You rambled on thinking that guy has exited your business and was free from companion.

“I mean- we’re not close- but I’m a volleyball player?”

You wiped your eyes as your heart started to run a mile now that you’ve familiarized yourself with his voice.

Lifting your head, there in front of you was the one thing that your heart had wished to see.

“Atsumu?”

His eyes widen as his chest expands, his heart growing ten times bigger than it was while it beats like a drum on heavy metal song.

“Y/N- I didn’t know- wow.” Breathless, speechless, weak- those were the words that defined your emotions. You wanted to pass out- to act like you just mistaken him for a person but he was real and you had a hard time believing it.

“Atsumu?" God, he missed it. The way his name would fall of those taunting lips of yours. The tone in your voice leading him back to the memories that he couldn’t push away.

You had to believe it. There was no other way that your starvation can make you this delusional. You called his name like you were unsure that he was ever real- like a character your brain had developed to cope with your sorrows. You dared to touch him, maybe if you did it would be a wisp of air but you were scared that if you reached out to him, you could feel his skin and remember how you wanted it to be within your grasp all the time.

Perhaps it’s a dream but this time you’d never want to wake up if this was the only way you can be together.

“Y/N..I- how are you?” How could he manage to act so civil? Your presence shocked him like electricity in his veins, pumping his heart at an unusual speed. His voice was unsteady and low, experiencing the same thoughts like you.

It’s like he was dragged back to your last encounter. Seeing your eyes filled with so much agony and how you looked so torn from his rejection, it’s the same look that you had now. It’s like his eyes were playing a risky game with him but he couldn’t complain since he’s been wanting to see you ever since you let go.

“Well, I’m burned-out that’s for sure.” You said with a light chuckle as he sits back down, wondering if it’d be alright to be close to you.

“What’s this interview about?” He asks, fiddling with the strings of his jacket while you tore your eyes away from him because you knew the admiration for him would erupt anytime soon.

“What got athletes into the sport in the first place.” Atsumu places his finger under his chin, thinking deeply about what offer he just made.

It’d mean that he could be in the same room with you for more than the hours he spent crying to himself but why waste the chance? You needed it- heck you wouldn’t be this distraught if you weren’t so affected by it. There was a never-ending list of things to do but meeting with Atsumu wasn’t even in your list of expectations because you were over with hoping into something that takes a miracle.

But he is the miracle.

“Atsumu..I don’t want you to see me like this.” You said, looking down on your hands that were on your lap, letting your hair fall in front of you to avoid his concerned gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t seen you in years, this is not what I planned to look like when I first see you.” Atsumu feels his heart frown at how low you spoke of yourself, but he understood. If you saw him in the state that you were in right now, he too would feel like he could’ve done or look better, even at least handle the situation without crumbling apart.

He knew you were in a troubled place of your mind but he just wonders where you could talk about why everything fell apart.

He missed the way it was casual to talk to you. Maybe an insult as a greeting, or a flick to the arm but he never expected to talk to you with his heart dropping in your hands. He just couldn’t forget the way you’d let him go that day during graduation, it’s almost like the sensation was still lingering around his palm even if he held a ball.

He just wished he said yes, only then, you’d be meant for each other.

“Do you mean it?” You asked sighing, not baring the weight of his silence. The pace of his heart quickens as he starts to worry if this was the confrontation that he held back all these years.

“The interview.” He was more than glad to do it. He was thankful that you weren’t talking about the bad memories or the circle of tension you two were in.

He looks at you while another strike was given to his heart seeing you this way. He’d do everything to bring back the color in your features.

“Of course.”

You smiled at his words as you both stand up but you felt conscious about the stain that was still stuck to your shirt making you desperately try to hide it by pulling your bag to the messed up section. Atsumu didn’t know that the person he had followed was the same person that got coffee dipped down on them. He didn’t recognize you at first because you had your hands covering your cries. He was worried for you when you ran off but when he knew it was you, he couldn’t believe if it was luck or a granted wish.

“Just wear this.” He says, handing you placing his jacket on your shoulders as your heart flutters at how he looked at you, completely filled with sincerity and the way his hand stayed on your shoulder.

“What the fuck do you want?” He asks you with a knife-like stare, purposely bumping harshly into you.

“Wow Miya, I was just walking.” You said returning the same fuel that he had.

“Then get out of my way then.”

“Thank you.” You said smiling lightly. He catches a glimpse of your smile and he feels his world light up at the sight of it.

I missed you.

“So where to?” He asks as you walk beside him just like old times. His height still intimidating you but it was still difficult to believe that this was the same Atsumu you had fallen for in high school.

“My apartment. We missed the bus so I hope it’s okay for you to wait.”

“I can always drive us there.” You’ve never whipped your head faster than this moment. You always trusted Osamu when he said that Atsumu couldn’t be a better driver than his own brother because Atsumu liked to rev up the engine like one of those scenes in a movie.

With the thought in your mind, you laughed.

Atsumu stops walking as he lets himself dwell at the sound of it.

Then there was a smile that he couldn’t contain.

“Sorry for laughing, ‘Tsumu. Never pictured you to have a car earlier than ‘Samu that’s all.” You explained as he chuckles, continuing to be beside you, a place that he finds himself to be the happiest.

“Yeah yeah I get it- I’m a little careless but not all the time y’know?” He says while he leads the way. The breeze felt comfortable now, it had a tweak of coldness but maybe it was just the atmosphere of you two.

When you walked to his car and told him your address, there was another silence but you tried to tell yourself that this was just Atsumu. Nothing to be worried about because you’ve known him for too long to act like all distant.

This is Atsumu- that's every reason that there is to feel nervous around him.

“How long have you been living there?” He asks while you started to feel just how badly you wanted to give in to sleepiness. You shifted once in a while to control yourself from falling asleep in his damn car. Every urge to just lay quiet for a while but you knew this would lead to a deep slumber.

“Ever since graduation.” You answered, annoyed that his jacket was inviting you to lay there and sleep away your stress though you were scared that once you wake up- Atsumu would be gone again.

“And you didn’t call to tell me about it?” He jokes but the chuckle that he expected never came because he knew just how awkward it’d be if you actually called just for that sole reason. Atsumu bites his lip at his failed attempt to drag the conversation on.

Then you giggled.

“I wanted to but I wouldn’t wanna bother the famous MSBY player.” You said smiling at him, proud that he continued on. You knew from Osamu of course, a single update when he had mentioned how well his restaurant had become, you also saw them in a poster once, even recognizing a few of his past opponents.

“Well, it would be a shame.”

There you are.

You finally arrived at your apartment and again you felt the slice of satisfaction as you removed your shoes and placed them on the table. You were partly thankful that your apartment was clean since you never have the time to spend a whole day in it only coming home late at night. Atsumu looks around as you prepare him a drink and a few snacks-it'd be rude not to.

Atsumu sees the photos where you won several awards for your loyalty and hardwork at your club. He sees how time passes and you grew into a version of you that he finds even more flawless then before. Your equipment and how everything was organized on your desk, he knew how much things changed because he used to see you doubt yourself every time you’d finish a paper but now you won awards because of them.

“Atsumu, is it alright if I shower real fast?” You asked while he raises a brow at you confused that you had to ask for his permission.

“Of course, Y/N- you didn’t have to ask.” He said chuckling while he sits on the couch, letting his eyes wonder around.

“I promise I’ll be back.”

“Please don’t rush yourself. Take yer time. “ He says while you smile at him before dashing to your room to gather new clothes, feeling like you’ve won a lottery with how happy you were to remove the coffee drenched top, tossing it to your laundry bin while you step into the shower enjoying the way the water decorated your skin, cleansing it from all the worries. While Atsumu scrolls on his phone to ease himself from the anxiousness. His finger would casually glide over Osamu’s phone number, to ask him what to do.

After a few minutes, you stepped out of the shower like a whole new person. You saw the way Atsumu’s eyes lit up when you walked in but you pushed the thought away. He pats the seat next to him while you grabbed your notebook and pen, ready to scribble down the questions.

“Are there any uncomfortable questions you’d want to avoid?” You asked him while he shakes his head while you took note of the possible questions.

“Is it okay for the interview to be filmed?” He nodded while you leaned onto the pillow, sighing happily at how you’ve managed to calm down from the pile of embarrassment earlier.

“Thank you for doing this, ‘Tsumu- really you don’t know how much I appreciate you for this.” You said leaning your cheek on the side of the couch as Atsumu copies your actions staring at you lovingly.

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” He says smiling while you returned to write a list of questions for him. With every time you look down on your notebook, Atsumu’s eyes never left you while his mind recalls every moment where he msised the opportunity to tell you just how beautiful you were.

Soon, you’ve fallen asleep while he lets the feeling sink in.

I’ve never wanted to hold you more than I do now.

He sighs before placing the blanket on your body while he kneels down and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, his finger tracing your cheek.

“You’ll never know how much I missed you.” He whispers while you shifted in your sleep meeting his face. Before he stands up, he feels you reach for him while he’s left surprise at your touch.

“Stay please.” You whispered while he smiles weakly, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“I always will.”

The morning comes and you felt the blush creep on your cheeks remembering how easily you felt asleep. You wondered if Atsumu stayed, if he left- you couldn’t really blame him. So yawning and stretching when you woke up, you certainly didn’t expect to see Atsumu cooking you some breakfast. You couldn’t even move your legs, every part of you has gone stiff just admiring the way he moves.

“Hey, good morning.” He greets with a wave, a spatula in his hand, a bright smile tugged on his lips.

“Atsumu- oh god I’m so sorry.” You said as you went to him. You caught a whiff of what he was cooking and you swore you could’ve drooled knowing you didn’t even got the chance to eat dinner. Atsumu knew that of course so he called Osamu up in the morning to serve you the best breakfast he could ever make. He was initially supposed to make you dinner but you fell asleep before he could do it so this was his rebound.

“Idiot, it’s fine. Just sit down on the table and I’ll prepare the food.”

“Atsumu-“

“Just go, Y/N. I promise it’s okay- you deserve to rest before you work again.” You couldn’t even think properly with his words. It was so minimum but it was something you’d forget to do- rest. Hearing him remind you that sets a new feeling in your system. You did obey him though, you sat on the table as he even handed you coffee for him and you, placing the breakfast on the table. God, he was everything. You thought that after a few years, you two would completely drift apart but it seems like you were wrong for the hundredth time.

“Please don’t even think about ways to thank me, it’s nothing to me. “ He says taking the seat next to you while you place the food on his plate. You couldn’t even utter a word at how grateful you were for him and he’d be happy to get used to seeing you first thing in the morning.

“Atsumu, after breakfast can we have a run down of the questions first?” You asked him, growing more comfortable.

“Yeah sure.”

You sat on the couch, placing your camera on the table aligning it to the best possible angle as Atsumu sits down in front of you. You had your notebook on your lap as he praises how you looked so professional even if it was just a practice.

“Ready?” You asked while he nods with a smile as you pressed the camera to shoot so you could keep your composure, even if you struggled to.

“What does the sport mean to you?” You asked him, your eyes glimmering with the suns rays hitting it perfectly, while the words were removed from Atsumus mind. Seeing his hesitation, you decided to reassure him.

“It’s fine if you can’t answer straight away. I can always change the question if you like.” You commented, smiling at him to make sure he doesn’t feel rushed to answer. He nods, still not finding the exact same words to describe what he wanted to say.

“I’ll change the question for now.” You said while he let’s out a sigh before listening to you once again.

“What was the biggest struggle in your career?” He sends you a worried stare but his mind nearly bursts at his answer.

“Getting over you.”

You dropped your pen on the couch as Atsumu continued to speak since this was the answer his heart was sure of responding to.

“I tried to forget- I did. For every year that passes, the more fucking harder it gets to act like I didn’t love you back when you walked away.”

“Atsumu-“

“I know I said no- I was too late to realize how stupid I was to be scared of falling for you. I couldn’t let myself be the man who could love you when all this time I tried to hate you because I knew I would hurt you- and I already did.”

We get hurt a lot but it doesn’t mean I won’t come back to you.

Love grew and died during your second year at Inarizaki.

Before Atsumu, you found Karou. A boy who was a new recruit to your group whose helped you multiple times and has shared a conversation with you about your similar likes. There was this strange infatuation with him that even Osamu had to question how deep was the bite of love on you. You’ve fallen, of course. Occasionally leaving notes on his desk to just let him know how he made your day but it never worked. He would only paste the note on another persons desk like it was nothing. Not even getting the reaction you wanted, it felt too normal when it shouldn’t be. Realizing how this was just rejection in the shadows, you gave up. Obviously heart broken at the mere thought of how your chances were blown away. When Atsumu saw how gloomy you were that day, he had to show you how much you didn’t need Karou and there grew a different bond between the both of you.

And with a bond like that, you became attached to him.

It was all becoming clearer and clearer as you realized that you fell for the wrong person first.

“You’re too stupid to fall for a douche like him. “ He says kicking the rock that was in front of him.

“You’re lucky with that admirer of yours, Miya. I’ve never seen someone stick around you for so long.” You teased. It’s true the half of the twin hearthrob has gotten himself a sincere admire. It wasn’t one of his crazy fans- this was a person who genuinely cared for him and the words on every note he received would make the poor boy blush uncontrollably and you envied how he’s yet to realize that he too was falling for this unknown person.

While you two were oblivious to the slip up of the universe, it took a toll on you.

Because the notes you’d leave on Karous desk, always ended up on Atsumu’s instead.

“I wanna meet them so bad. Just to see if they actually care and it’s not a prank. They haven’t given me a note and it’s been what a month? I doubt it was ever real.”

“With the amount of effort they gave, I’m sure it was real.”

It’s real for me even if it shouldn’t be.

There wasn’t any other way then to accept the feelings that stayed on your skin. The moments where you thought that being around Atsumu would bring you stressful banters and more, it turned into butterflies that surrounded your room. You chose to deny it at first but remembering that graduation and good-byes were near, you had to tell him at some point.

And when you did, you poured your heart out and not even a single drop was caught.

“Last words before I forget your dumbass?” He taunts while you felt your sweat drip down the side of your forehead as you couldn’t control it anymore. You wondered if there was a simple word to describe just how much you adored him without turning it into a whole speech. This was it- you had to do it or else you’d end up being stuck on the feeling of loving him.

“I..like you Atsumu and I can’t say good-bye without telling you.”

Then there was the awful silence that he gave making you clutch onto your shirt, preparing you for the worst.

But by the way he looked so terrified and frozen, you knew.

“Atsumu?”

“No- I’m sorry.”

“And I don’t know what I’d do if I let you leave again.” He whispers as he leans closer to you, taking your hands in his while your ability to speak has been taken away by how gentle he was as his thumb caresses your hand and a look that looked so fragile.

He takes his hand and cups your cheek, pulling you close to him as his vulnerability increases.

“Do you feel the same too?” He was being so careful because a wrong choice of a word could make it all fall apart again and you could feel how tense he was but he holds you like a gem- something so beautiful that it’d cost him his life if he ever dropped you.

Your hand lands on the same hand that was on your cheek while Atsumu’s eyes widen remembering how you neglected to hold his hand before.

But it stayed.

Closing your eyes and melting in his touch, you spoke.

“I never stopped loving you, Atsumu.”

He lets his forehead rest on yours, a smile on his lips, who was soon to be on yours.

“Then be mine all over again.”

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#miya atsumu #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #hq atsumu #msby atsumu #atsumu imagines #miya osamu #inarizaki

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futurewriter2000 · 3 years

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Heartless - pt. 3

It has been okay. You had been okay.

You woke up, went to wash yourself, went to breakfast, had your morning coffee, went back to your room, turned on the music, cleaned your room and went to read or draw. You had taken drawing again, sketching a bit and despite the fact you weren’t much pleased at the results, you got better through the days. Sometimes you would grab a book and drown in it, even if it wasn’t your genre but sometimes drowning yourself in a book, whose main character had a miserable life, still made you forget about yourself.

You heard laughter and ruckus down the hall, running, chasing and then barging into your room.

You didn’t even look up from your book. “Can’t the two of you knock?” you said coldly, flipping a page.

“Hey, I was thinking if you wanna go to the town with us- get some ice cream-”

“No.” you said as your finger trailed down your lines.

“Why not?” James’ smile faded as he didn’t see any reaction from you. “You’ve been stuck in this room all the time, I barely-”

“I’m feeling a bit under the weather, James. Maybe next time.” you cut him off, still not looking at him.

They were both looking at you for a few moments before backing out of your room and closing the door behind you. As you heard them leave, you took a deep sigh and closed your eyes.

You pushed the book away and laid on your stomach, just closing your eyes for a bit to rest. The pain in your lower back sometimes really exhausted you, so as you felt another strong stab, you got up, went to the bathroom and shuffled through your dad’s medical box.

You wanted to take just one pill but seeing as you always had to walk to the bathroom and then back to your room just for these pills, you just grabbed a whole bottle and left the bathroom but as you did so, you bumped into someone.

“Woopsie, daisy.” he said as he pressed his hand on your hip to prevent you from tripping over your own two feet but quickly let go as you were already standing steadily. “Sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

“It’s alright.” you brushed him off and went to your room, running your hand through your hair and yawning.

Sirius could sense something in his gut and he didn’t know what exactly it was. Trusting his gut as usual, he had decided to follow you to your room. He knocked and opened the door, finding you taking a pill and a glass of water. As you swallowed it, you grimaced, putting the glass back and looking at him with a quirk of eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” he stepped in, glancing at the box of pills.

“Drugs.” you teased, smirking at him before seeing his eyes narrow at you. “Calm down, Sherlock. It’s just some pain killers for my back.” you answered, putting your hands on your back and massaging the spots.

He walked to your night stand and took the box into his hands. “Ibuprofen?”

“Can you not touch them?” you said more sharply.

He looked at you from the corner of his eyes, observing as he gently placed the box back down. “Do you parents know your taking these?”

You let out a laugh, rolling your eyes to the back of your head as you leaned back. “Look at you big brother number two.” you continued to smile. “Bossy.”

“You’re not answer-”

“God, Sirius- I don’t owe you explanations. Yes, I told my dad I’m taking these for back pain and no they are harmless. 1- 3 pills a day and that’s it. Sometimes I even take them for my period cramps.” you stood up and started to push him out of your room. “Now, please leave me alone and go back to my family.” and with that you slammed the door into his face and leaned on it.

He felt his heart sunk, standing his ground. He heard you breathe on the other side of the door; heavily. He wanted to knock again but his hand only rested on the door. “I’m not trying to take them away from you, (y/n).” he said gently, almost apologetically. “I’m not trying to replace you.” he continued but you didn’t answer to him. He couldn’t hear you breathe as heavy but he knew you were still there, listening to him... still there on the other side of the door, holding your breath instead.

“PADS! YOU COMING?!” both of you heard James shout downstairs.

Sirius looked straight at the door, almost as if he was seeing you being there. He really wanted you to like him since the beginning he met James but you were just never interested and he didn’t know why. Why were you so hard to win over?

“PADS?!”

“Coming!” Sirius shouted, pushing himself away and taking slow steps towards the stairs. He glanced back at the door to your room and ran his hand through his hair.

Finally, as he left, you felt yourself that you could breathe again. There were so many things you wanted to say to him but you were so afraid of letting people know- just afraid that even if you said how you felt about this whole situation, of how alone and ignored you feel by the whole family that they will not listen. Because they never do listen, they never even try to understand that was why your pain, either internal or external was always kept inside of you alone.

They didn’t even want to tell you why he is here. It was like you were a child. Why were they always excluding you from everything. They said they had invited Sirius over the summer but you just didn’t believe them. You chose to just pass it by. You don’t care about Sirius, you care about yourself and that’s how it should be.

So as you glanced through the window, seeing the gorgeous sun shine among the trees, you went back to the bathroom to put some makeup on, do your hair, change clothes as you went back to your dorm and grab your sketchbook and pencils, as well as your paperback before you left.

You came down smiling, running your way to your dad and giving him your pleading grin.

He looked up from his newspaper, quirking the corner of his lips before pulling down his glasses and ask. “What is it, child?”

---

James and Sirius barged in the living room to make themselves known they are home. Laughing and pushing each other, they made their way to the kitchen to only find Euphemia on the sofa, taking a nap.

One whispering over the other, they made their way to the kitchen to find Fleamont but nobody was there. They went back to the porch and found two distant figures by the tree.

“Is that your them?” Sirius narrowed his eyes and so did James, despite he had glasses on, he still couldn’t see right.

“What are they doing?” he started walking towards the two of you, finding you laying on the net and laughing to whatever your father was telling you. “Hey, you two! We’ve been searching hills and seas for the two of you.”

Both of you turned to see at the source of voice, seeing your brother walking through the tall grass, Sirius right behind him.

“Blimey!” James beamed as he saw two nets swinging down from the tree branches. “Are those what I think they are?!” he ran to the two of you, getting between the nets, the two of you swung on and rocking the both of you.

“James, my boy. How was out in the town.” your father asked from his side. “

“Dull and boring. What about you?”

“Ah! Your sister asked me to put the nets back on since it was nice and sunny here. We’ve just been enjoying each other’s company.” he smiled, resembling James’ toothy grin.

“Alright- which one of you is gettin off?” he rocked both of you hard, almost making you lose your balance.

You laughed, grabbing James’ hand and pushing it away. “I’m not going anywhere! This is my net, get your own.”

“Don’t worry, son. I have to check up on your mother anyway.” he said as he placed his feet on the ground and stood up with a grunt.

“Getting old, old man.” James teased, throwing himself on his net as your father turned around.

“Who you calling an old man?” he said, swinging James net so hard, he almost fell off it. “When you’ll be old as me, I’ll see how you’re holding up.” he trotted away, tapping Sirius’ back as he did and whispering something into his ear.

Sirius blushed hard when your father moved away, letting out a few laughs but before you could contemplate about those secret words, you felt your brother rocking your net.

“Hey, (y/n)?” he said, placing his hands under his head but looking straight at you. “Remember when we first got these and we always used to sleep in them during summer?”

You let out a laugh, reminiscing. “Yeah. Mum always brought us blankets but when we got bitten by the mosquitos, she forbid us to sleep again.”

“She was just being paranoid.” James brushed it off, closing his eyes and rocking on the sunlight. “I almost forgot how great this feels like.”

You kept looking at him, smiling to yourself as a nostalgia washed over you. “Me too.”

Sirius silently made his way towards you, standing behind you and looking down on your sketchbook. It was a laughing sketch of your dad, laying on the net. “This is pretty good.” he said, leaning down to see a closer look.

Frightened by his sudden appearance, you felt your heart jump before realising what he had said. You looked down on the sketch and tilted your head. “Thanks but I messed up the nose.”

Sirius laughed and made his way to your feet, sitting down and then laying opposite of you. “May I?” he reached out his hand towards your sketchbook as you narrowed your eyes skeptically.

“Sure but don’t you dare ruin it or I will ruin you.” you said, giving him your sketchbook.

“No doubt about that.” he flashed you a grin, making your eyes roll. “Am I in here?” he looked up again, flipping through the pages and then closing the whole book as there was no apparence of him.

You let out a laugh, getting back your sketchbook and putting it on the ground next to you. “You wish.”

“Oh, hell. I thought girls always draw the guy they fancy.” he wiggled his eyebrows but you only laughed harder.

“Oh, you think I fancy you?”

“Dont’ you?”

“In your dreams, Black.” you continued to laugh, looking away and then back at him as he observed you with this daring look in his eyes you had never seen on him before. “Why are you staring at me?”

“Can’t I look at you now?”

“Why? So you can make fun of me?”

“You make me sound like a bad guy?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Oh, please, (y/n). I may be an arse but that doesn’t mean I’m always out there to get you.”

“A little hate dynamic between us never seems to go away.”

“Ah, so you admit you hate me.”

“I do not hate you.” you rolled your eyes again, this time to look at James, who was tightly asleep, letting it quiet snores. “I forgot he always fell asleep in these.”

Brushing off your comment about James, he leaned forward and persisted on the topic. “Yes, you do. Admit it. You hate me for no appearant reason.”

“Oh, there are plenty reasons of why I avoid you, Sirius Black.”

“Avoid me?”

“Avoid you like a plague.”

“That’s harsh.” he leaned back, furrowing his eyebrows.

“It’s a joke. Don’t take it personal.” you rolled your eyes again, which by now started to irritate him a bit. “You’re just someone I don’t like being around of. You’re not my type of company.”

“Not your type of company?” he laughed despite how much that bruised his ego.”Then what is your type?”

“I like someone who is fun but in a gentler way, without any harsh jokes about other people’s apparence or character. I like being around someone who makes me laugh, not by making fun of me but by being funny in general. Someone who will not force me to smoke or drink or force me into an uncomfortable situation. I like someone who pushes me to be better, who listens and just someone I can be myself around.” you started to trail off, stopping yourself before you could open yourself up completely.

You saw that his eyes were watching you differently again. Not like before or before that before but they were a bit... ashamed.

You felt guilt bubble in your stomach. Maybe you were too harsh to him- too blunt instead of gentle but sometimes it was really hard to engage your emotions to your words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that.” you looked away as he looked up at you. “I’m not trying to offend you by saying that because you aren’t all of that-”

“But I’m that to James, aren’t I?” he said, glancing at the sleeping boy next to you. “A bad influence?”

“I didn’t say that. James is old enough to make his choices of who he wants to be friends with. Maybe you are good for James and maybe he feels that- I know the two of you are close and care about each other. The two of you are perfect, if I’m honest. It’s just... you’re not my kind of cup of tea, Sirius.”

“Cup of tea- nice metaphor.” he smiled through the discomfort. Not your cup of tea... What’s that even supposed to mean? - he thought.

It was a sudden change in his emotions, feeling what he had felt; anger, fury even. How could you just say that to him- he looked at you, glaring you down as you only gave him eyes, filled with cold ice. You didn’t even show your emotions- not like you did before when your father was around. The way you laughed with him, with James- how loose and relaxed you were up until he came and suddenly you froze up like an ice cube. Why would you think of him like that? You don’t even know him- not like James knows him. You’re judgemental and think highly of yourself, don’t you?

“I’m going back in.” you said, placing your feet on the ground and seeing Sirius turn his head away from you. “Don’t hold your grudge for too long, Sirius. We’ve still got two months and a whole year at Hogwarts to spend together.”

“I’m a patient man.” he grit his teeth as you let out a laugh, ruffling his hair playfully as you passed him by.

“See you inside.” you said and started walking away, looking up at the stars that slowly started to appear on the sky.

You felt a smile turn on your face, for the first time since Sirius came, you felt a sincere smile on your cheeks. Today was a good day, despite the uncomfortable discussion between you and Sirius. Of course, you didn’t like being around him but at the same time you didn’t want to be around James either. It’s not that you hated them, it’s that you were different than them. You just didn’t like the same things as they did and sometimes you got along, sometimes you didn’t get along but you have known Sirius since you were eleven and as much as you didn’t want to admit to yourself, you cared about him. He spent more time with you and your family than he ever did with his and one thing your remembered from the night he turned at your doorstep, with those eyes that just screamed ‘keep me safe’. Yes, you were not happy at first when he came but it didn’t take a genius to see that when somebody needs to feel safe, you give them that safety. He maybe took your safety away from you by being here but what was your family supposed to do? Throw him out on the cold?

“(y/n)-” you felt somebody take a hold of your hand and you found yourself looking up in your eyes. The two of you were far away from James, far away from your house as well, right in between. “You’re limping. Are you okay?”

It was just like that. From the girl, he was not long ago pissed at, to the girl who brought him here; to caring.

“It’s my back. Laying there made it a bit uncomfortable.” you smiled- for the first time you smiled at him and you didn’t know how that happened and where it came from because you never smiled as sincerely to him as you did now. Maybe it was something in the night; below the stars and among the gentle summer breeze that made the tall grass brush your skin.

And you knew he was surprised by your smile as well, mostly because it was never directed to him.

Maybe tonight you didn’t have it in you to be cold and distant. Maybe tonight, you wanted to feel a bit warm and not alone. Just for tonight, you felt to let your guard down because it was exhausting always having it up.

“Don’t you think it’s time to go to the Healer for that back?” he smiled back.

“It’s just some muscle strain. I won’t die.”

“But I can see you hurting.” he said in a low, concerned voice that made you quirk an eyebrow at him.

Why did that feel so real?

Why did that make your heart jolt?

“Sirius Black? Caring?” you started to tease a bit, pushing him away. “Go back to James. Mosquitos are going to eat him alive out here. And I’ll see you inside.” you said and started to walk back to the house but he pulled you by the hand again.

“(y/n)-” he came close again, this time more vulnerable. If he has come this far, if he felt this was the time to tell you, then he will. What’s the worst that can happen? He dies? No- he won’t die by telling you the truth but maybe telling you the truth will make you understand and maybe... love him more.

“Yes?” you looked at him with your eyes in a playful postion, the one he is used to work with when he’s talking to you- always joking around , teasing, insulting one another. But there was something tonight that made those eyes especially beautiful and feel his heart flutter in his chest.

“The reason I’m here...” he said, placing your hand inbetween his palms. “And I’m not telling you to feel pity towards me- or any sorts of self-”

“Sirius?” you furrowed your eyebrows. You weren’t use to this- to him being real and tonight, he was all but that. “What is it?” you spoke softly.

The softness of your voice felt like a gentle caress to his ears. Oh, how wonderful it felt with your voice so soft- like a petal on a flower and he was that flower, who needed that petal.

“I’m here because I ranaway from home- I... uh... I got disowned and before they went any further- I-uh- I ran.” he looked up at your eyes, finding them softly looking at him and somehow, that felt even better than hearing the softness of your voice. Now he felt like your eyes were caressing his soul, holding it, being so close to it, it made him float. You got that power over him. Everything he held, resided in your eyes- that’s how he felt because you were the only one he knew, who could make him feel like that... the only one on his mind from tonight on.

You put your hand on his cheek that slowly started to grow hair, a rough stubble scratching your palm. He leaned into it, feeling just how warm you felt, just how perfect your touch was on his. “And you came here..” you smiled as he looked at you with a bit terrified eyes. “Because this is where you’re safe.” you smiled even wider and he smiled as well, this time with relief.

“Yeah.” he put his hand on top of yours, taking it closer to his lips and kissing it.

It made your heart to another jolt, your stomach twirl inside of you.

“Thank you for understanding.” he said, looking at you with those grey eyes that felt so blue in the night.

You pulled him into a close embrace, stepping on your tiptoes as you did and pulling him down. “Thank you for telling me.”

He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you up until your toes didn’t feel the ground underneath. His head was buried in your neck and his nose could smell the wonderful coconut cream you use every day. He could devour it if he could hug you every day like this.

How he prayed to the stars above that this is a start to a new beginning...

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagines #james potter #james potter imagine #marauders #marauders imagine #marauders imagines #marauders era #marauders fanfiction

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hockeylvr59 · 4 years

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I Get To Love You || Tyson Jost

Authors Note: When you get an idea that keeps you up until 3:30 in the morning...So I basically planned out this entire wedding but I don’t want to clog up this already overly long fic with a dozen photos. So I’ll post all of those separately along with the first dance song. All three will be tagged ‘033’ for those of you that find this through tags and don’t want to search through pages of my blog.

Song Inspiration: I Get to Love You - Ruelle

Warnings: none Word Count: 4,987 Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

~~~~~~~~~

The idea had come unexpectedly. You’d been brushing your teeth before bed when Tyson had slipped in behind you, his hands falling to your waist. Leaning back against him, you relaxed, the fatigue of the day finally settling deep in your bones.

You’d been running around since early in the morning, taking groceries to Tyson’s grandparents and visiting with them for a while while keeping your distance. Then you’d been roped into volleyball lessons with Kacey which only caused Tyson to laugh at you as you missed the ball entirely or failed to get it over the net on the off chance you did hit it. He’d hovered over your shoulder as you insisted on cooking his family dinner, your way of saying thank you for being so welcoming since you’d arrived. By the time you retreated back to Tyson’s childhood bedroom, you were ready to crawl into bed and cuddle your boyfriend.

“We should get married.”

For a moment you thought you’d imagined the words, but then Tyson squeezed your hip and you realized he had actually spoken and was waiting for a response. Nearly choking on toothpaste you quickly spit it out, twisting in his grasp.

“Umm...excuse me?” You questioned, your eyes wide with shock. You’d only been dating for eight months, though you’d been friends for nearly a year before you’d gotten together romantically. Getting married was something that had been only vaguely mentioned...the future, in general, had only come up casually once or twice.

“We should get married,” Tyson repeated, a shrug of his shoulders making light of his words while the look in his eyes revealed his sincerity and vulnerability.

Leaving your toothbrush laying on the bathroom counter, you tugged Tyson back into his bedroom. There, you plopped yourself onto the edge of the bed, guiding your boyfriend to stand between your legs.

“What brought this on?” You finally whispered, trying to figure out what was going on in Tyson’s head. It wasn’t that you were opposed to the idea, honestly, it was something you frequently dreamed about, but you needed to understand why this had come up out of nowhere, long before you had expected it.

Tyson shrugged again, and you reached forward to take his hands, playing lightly with his fingertips.

“Dunno…” He mumbled. Just as you were about to open your mouth to speak, he continued. “Honestly...I’ve been thinking about it for months…”

“How long?” You breathed, the thrum of your pulse steadily increasing.

“The charity brunch.” Your mouth formed a soft ‘o’ shape and you peered up at him through your eyelashes. Another thousand questions came to mind but you felt Tyson shift nervously in front of you, so you hesitated in voicing them.

“I just…” Tyson’s voice was soft. “You’re so perfect. Sometimes I can’t believe you love me. Seeing you around my teammates, seeing you around complete strangers...you’re incredible. And I want...I want what Gabe has. I want an amazing, beautiful wife to come home to. Eventually, I want kids to cuddle and chase around. And you...you’re the only one I can picture all of that with. You’re the one I want all of that with.”

You didn’t need Tyson’s explanation to be convinced...truthfully your hesitations were silenced as soon as he mentioned that this wasn’t some spur of the moment thing.

“You’re the one I want all of that with too.” You admitted, tears pooling in your eyes as Tyson sunk to his knees in front of you. In his eyes, you saw steady warmth, the twinkle that only appeared when he was looking at you. At the same time, you saw that ounce of fear, his worries about never being good enough, his concerns that stemmed from not having his dad in his life. He’d never voiced them, but you knew that he’d always worried that he’d never have a complete family of his own.

Leaning forward, you pressed your forehead against his and let out a somewhat shaky breath.

“Do you really want to get married?” You questioned.

“I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t.” Tyson’s response that he was sure, the knowledge that getting married was for all of the right reasons, being certain that you both wanted the same things, that was really all you needed. Pulling back you reached up and brushed your thumbs along Tyson’s cheeks, a smile growing on your face.

“Let’s get married.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, trying to quiet Tyson’s whoops at the same time as he tackled you backward onto his bed, wrapping you up in his arms.

“Yeah?” He asked giddiness on full display.

“Yeah.” You agreed. The decision was sealed with a passionate kiss, one that was only broken as Tyson brushed against a spot that made you giggle because it tickled.

Eventually, you pushed him away, getting up to finish getting ready for bed. Though you knew you needed to sleep and your body was exhausted, your mind was filled with a new level of energy stemming from knowing that you were actually going to get to marry the love of your life and your best friend.

Laying tucked into the crook of Tyson’s arm, you gently trailed your fingers up and down his chest.

“So when can we get married?” Tyson murmured. “Tomorrow?”

“Wait what?” You replied, your voice coming out in a squeak. Tilting your head up, you peered at him through the darkness.

“You just agreed to marry me didn’t you?” Tyson insisted.

“I didn’t know you meant like right away!” You whisper yelled.

“Why wait?” The question was so matter of fact that it took you off guard. “I know you’ve never wanted a big wedding anyway.” He added.

“Yeah but…” It seemed insane to just get married out of the blue but while you tried to find a reason why you couldn’t, none came to mind. “Don’t you want your family there?” Was the only thing you could think of. “Your teammates even?” Tyson’s fingers carded through your hair for a moment as silence filled the space between you. Fallouts with your family meant that there wasn’t anyone you needed to have at your wedding but Tyson had close relationships with his family and friends and you couldn’t believe that he wanted to get married without their presence.

“I mean yeah I guess I want my immediate family there.” He murmured. “But I certainly don’t want to wait on a pandemic to end just to get married.” He added. The more you thought about it, the more that getting married now grew in appeal. Pulling your bottom lip between your teeth you pondered for a moment.

“Well, we can’t get married tomorrow...I’m sure getting a marriage license will probably at least take a few days. You know...as will finding someone to marry us.” You reasoned. “And maybe you’re right that I don’t want a big wedding but I only plan on doing this once so can we at least plan something small and intimate? Not just do like a city hall thing?” Tyson’s lips pressed against the top of your head before leaning down to meet your own in a sweet kiss.

“Whatever you want…” He agreed. “But let’s keep it a secret until we’re actually doing it.”

“Tys…” You gasped.

“What?” He laughed, mocking offense. “Don’t you think it will be fun to surprise everyone?”

There was a certain appeal to keeping your impending marriage a secret for a few days. You just weren’t sure how feasible it actually was.

“C’mon babe...imagine the look on my mom’s face.” He prodded. Sighing, you rolled your eyes.

“Fine. If that’s what you want.” You conceded, a slight smile spreading across your face as you saw the triumphant grin spread over his. Gently he bumped his nose against your own before kissing you once more.

“I love you.” He mused. “And I can’t wait to make you Mrs. Jost.” Butterflies erupted in your stomach at the thought and you leaned up to kiss him one more time.

“I love you too, you crazy man.” You teased. “Now go to sleep. We have planning to do in the morning.”

~~~

It had been a whirlwind three days and to be honest you were shocked that Tyson’s family hadn’t started asking questions. Immediately upon waking up the morning after you and Tyson had decided to get married, you went online to order a dress paying for rush shipping and praying that it arrived quickly. Breakfast with his mom and sister was followed by running down to the local registrar for a marriage certificate, calling a local florist and baker from the car to see about possibly having something done last minute, however simple. If there was one advantage to getting married during a pandemic it was that every business was eager for new orders and was happy to put something together even with the tight time frame.

Day two of your wedding preparations was split. Tyson had insisted that he didn’t really care about the flowers or cake (as long as it was chocolate) and that he had something else that needed done. So you’d borrowed his mom’s car to go meet with the florist and baker, immediately falling in love with what they had planned and making arrangements to pick the items up in two days. It was harder than you imagined to keep all of the plans to yourself, and you were practically jittery by the time you and Tyson retreated to bed, eager to share with him. As you readied for bed you watched him slip two small boxes into his nightstand.

“Did you get rings?” You questioned, voice practically shaking at the thought. Tyson chuckled and nodded as he pushed the drawer closed.

“Did you think we’d get married without rings?” He teased. “But you can’t see them.” He added. Your pout and puppy eyes were met with resistance until you sighed.

“Fine. Then you can’t see the dress.” It was silly for you to think that would sway him because Tyson only smiled down at you wistfully.

“Perfect.” He declared. “I don’t want to see it until you’re walking outside to marry me anyway.” As he settled into bed beside you a few minutes later he pulled you closer, tucking you into his side. “I also arranged for someone to marry us.” He whispered.

“Hmm...that’s good. That’s kinda important.” You declared. He proceeded to share what he had told the officiant regarding your thoughts for the ceremony and you nodded along. There were still moments where it amazed you that he was on the same wavelength as you but at the same time that was one of the many reasons you couldn’t wait to marry him. Together you decided that your vows were going to be maybe not entirely written given the time crunch but certainly chosen individually rather than the standard traditional vow.

In only two days you had been able to knock off a good portion of a list for a simple wedding so the third day was spent just tying it all together. Tyson had convinced his grandparents to come over for dinner, outdoors of course, and you’d ordered catering for the six of you. Your dress had arrived and you’d sneakily tried it on, crying as the fabric settled over your hips. It was in that moment that it clicked how real this was. That tomorrow you’d become a married woman.

Less than 12 hours later, the day of your wedding finally arrived and it was the hardest yet to keep your mouth shut. While Tyson went rollerblading, you convinced his mom and sister to do home manicures with you. It was clear that they were starting to suspect that something was up but thankfully Tyson arrived back home before the other women in his life were able to crack you. After lunch, he convinced his mom and sister to go shopping, before picking up his grandparents on their way back for dinner.

With them gone you were able to set up the yard for a small ceremony while Tyson picked up the cake, flowers, and food. About an hour before the time you’d set, you slipped upstairs to do your hair and makeup, your excitement growing. When Tyson returned, he slipped into your room to kiss you quickly.

“Next time I see you…” He trailed off, winking. A giddy smile lit your face as you watched Tyson grab a change of clothes before slipping into a different bathroom. As you slipped into your dress you could hear him talking to first your officiant and then his family, urging his mom and sister to change quickly before heading outside because he had a surprise for them. There was a rush of activity for a few minutes before it all went quiet and you peeked your head out of Tyson’s room before slowly making your way downstairs.

From just inside the backdoor you could hear Kacey bugging her brother about what was going on.

“What do you think?” He inquired. Shooting him a quick text to see if they were ready for you, you set your phone on the table and picked up the bouquet of flowers hidden in one of the pantry cabinets. Your phone quickly buzzed and then the sound of the classic wedding march drifted inside from a speaker you’d placed out there.

“I guess it’s go time.” You whispered to yourself, taking a deep breath before letting your hand fall to the handle of the backdoor. As you slowly walked outside a part of you wanted to see the reactions of Tyson’s family. Instead, your eyes drifted to your groom watching as he broke into tears at the sight of you. You’d asked him the other night if he was going to cry and he swore he wouldn’t but...you were beyond glad he’d been wrong.

Stepping forward you let Tys take your hand, his eyes drifting up and down your body.

“You pulled this dress off in three days?” He mumbled. “You’re stunning.”

“You clean up pretty well too.” You replied. “Well besides the hair.” You teased knowing he hadn’t been able to get it taken care of for far too long.

“Are you two serious right now?” The sound of Kacey’s voice drew your attention and you glanced over to see his entire family getting emotional. Kacey was wiping tears from her eyes and you sent her a watery smile of your own.

“You can blame your brother for making me keep it a secret.” You insisted, praying that his family would be okay with this.

Before anyone else could comment, your officiant suggested that you proceed and you nodded, turning your attention to him as he oh so officially announced that they had all gathered together in order to witness the union of you and Tyson. He explained that per the wishes of the bride and groom that we were going to keep it brief and he asked Tyson if he wanted to start with the vows.

“Y/N, from this day forward I promise to be worth it. Worth the time. Worth the trip. Worth the energy. Worth the embarrassment. Worth your love. I promise that you will always count. You will always come first. Yes, even above hockey, believe it or not. From the moment you entered my world, you have filled it with life, colour, and energy. You are my best friend, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and who I want by my side through all of life’s challenges and adventures. I promise to be faithful, I promise to make you laugh, and I promise to love you. Now and Forever.”

Silently you thanked God for waterproof mascara and eyeliner as you wiped frantically at your cheeks.

“Y/N,” Your officiant prompted. Clearing your throat you squeezed Tyson’s hand, trying to remember what it was that you wanted to say.

“There are three words that are stronger than I love you. Today I stand in front of you to say ‘I choose you’. I choose you over all others. I choose you to share happiness with. I choose you to care for. I choose you to have a family with. I choose you to grow with. I choose you to love forever. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. There isn’t another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you. I am forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me and I can’t wait to see what our future holds.”

By the end of your vows, your voice had cracked more than once and Tyson brushed his thumb over the back of your hand as a signal of strength. Your officiant asked Tyson if he had the rings and letting go of your hand for just a moment he dug them out of his pocket.

In turn, each of you repeated after the officiant as you slid rings onto each other’s left hand.

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

Your hand was shaking as you slid the ring over Tyson’s knuckles but once his hand was back in yours you felt a wave of calm rush over you.

“And now I guess it’s time for the part that I know Tyson has been eagerly awaiting.” Your officiant joked. “It’s certainly my pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss your bride.”

Tyson didn’t hesitate to follow that directive, tugging your body close to his as he pressed his lips to yours, dipping you slightly. As he righted you onto your feet he reached up to brush your remaining tears away before taking your hand once more.

“Mr. & Mrs. Tyson Jost.” Your officiant announced and you watched as Tyson’s family all stood to clap, smiles on their faces. As Tyson tucked you into his side, Kacey rushed up out of her chair and over to hug the two of you before pulling back and smacking her brother.

“How dare you keep this a secret.” She scolded, scowling at him for just a moment before the smile broke through again. “I have a sister!” She exclaimed, her arms wrapping around you once more.

“Kace...let her breathe please.” Tys chastised, ruffling his sister’s hair.

“I’m sorry! I’m excited!” Kacey declared.

“We all are.” Tyson’s mom, Laura, insisted. Her arms were the next to wrap around you and she whispered her thanks for making her son happy in your ear. Her hug with Tyson was much longer and you watched with fondness as he basked in his mother’s touch and words.

As much as you wanted to hug Tyson’s grandparents you knew that you should keep some distance so instead, you settled for a squeeze of each of their hands. His grandmother commented on how she had never seen Tyson so happy and his grandfather declared that he hoped his grandson knew how lucky he was because you were a special woman and looked absolutely beautiful. Thanking them both, you expressed how much you appreciate them being there to witness your special day and how you knew Tyson wouldn’t have wanted to do it without them.

After a moment Tyson’s arms came sneaking around your waist and he leaned down to kiss your cheek. You felt him dig in his pocket again before he reached for your hand, slipping another band onto the same finger as your new wedding ring. Glancing up at him with a puzzled expression, you felt him squeeze your hip before speaking.

“Did you really think I’d deprive you of an engagement ring?” He teased. “Figured I at least owed you that since I technically didn’t propose. Plus they just look better as a set.” He added. Glancing down at your newly ring laden left hand you had to admit he was right. While your wedding ring was gorgeous all on its own, the addition of the second band made it all feel complete.

You didn’t have long to bask in the arms of your husband...that was something you weren’t sure you’d be over saying any time soon...before the sound of his stomach growling filled your ears.

“Think we should maybe serve that dinner we promised everyone?” You inquired, turning to kiss Tyson before pulling away.

Before you could even make it into the kitchen, Tyson’s mom and sister waylaid you.

“You are not serving dinner in that dress.” Laura scolded. “We can do whatever needs done.” Throwing your hands up in surrender you backed off.

“Everything is in the oven keeping warm, it just needs served.” You explained. “And a bottle of wine or two needs opened.” You added. Kacey and Laura jumped into action, pulling the food out of the oven and cracking open a few bottles of wine. Tyson insisted that you settle into a chair at the table on the patio and he’d bring food out so you complied, leaning back and just examining your rings. You were married. It just hadn’t fully set in yet.

Dinner was full of questions: when you had decided to get married, how you had pulled it all together, how you had managed to keep it a secret. Laura mentioned that it was the best surprise her son had ever managed to pull off and that even if she wanted to be mad she couldn’t, seeing how happy the two of you were. It was Kacey that asked when she could expect to become an aunt and a panicked expression flittered over your face for a moment as you looked at Tyson.

“Give us some time okay sis?” Tyson declared, his hand rubbing over your thigh. “We just got married…” He took a sip of his wine before shaking his head. “We want kids but let us enjoy being newlyweds for a while before we think about adding that responsibility.”

“You know...my first thought when I realized you were getting married was ‘did you knock her up…’” Tyson’s grandmother declared. A flush littered your cheeks as you shook your head frantically. “I’m glad that’s not the reason.” She added. “Though I certainly wouldn’t mind having a few great-grandbabies at some point when the two of you decide you’re ready.”

With the obligatory topic of kids covered you relaxed back into your chair, letting your dinner digest as you basked in time spent with Tyson’s family. Your family.

“So what’s first…?” Laura inquired. “First dance or cake?” Glancing at Tyson you shrugged leaving the choice up to him. When his hand reached out to you, you let him pull you from your chair. As he stood in the middle of the yard he paused.

“We didn’t pick a song.” He mumbled. Giggling at him you quickly pecked his lips before moving to grab your phone from the table, scrolling to the song you had in mind before pressing play and letting it spill from the speaker.

“Now we do.” You replied, wrapping your arms around him as he pulled your body into his own. You’d danced with Tyson plenty of times, but this time definitely felt different as you swayed slowly to the music. This song was everything you wanted to say to him, everything you’d been feeling not just the past few days but since you’d gotten together in the first place. As your favorite part of the song approached you reached up to cup Tyson’s cheek, singing along to the words as you looked up at him.

And they say love is a journey

I promise that I'll never leave

When it's too heavy to carry

Remember this moment with me

You felt the shudder pass through Tyson’s body as the tears filled his eyes once more. Stretching to press your forehead to his, you kissed him softly.

“I’m yours.” You whispered. “You don’t have to worry about any of that anymore.” Tyson’s grip tightened and he buried his head in your neck as you settled back onto the flats of your feet. “Shh.” You whispered, your hand carding through his hair as you pulled him tightly against you. Glancing over at where Tyson’s family had been watching the two of you, you noticed that they had all disappeared, giving the two of you a moment of much-needed privacy.

It took a few minutes for Tyson to regain control of his emotions and you kissed him again, smiling up at him.

“I’m so goddamn lucky.” He stated. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. My husband.” Your grin turned to a burst of laughter as Tyson spun you around the yard. “Now should we go get cake?” You asked. “You know before your family eats it all.”

He insisted that they wouldn’t and you knew he was right but it had made him smile and that was the goal. The cake was on the counter ready to be cut by the time you got inside and with Tyson’s hand over yours, you cut the first piece. His mom took over from there, handing you a plate and you quickly cut off a small piece before lifting it with your fingers to smash into Tyson’s face.

His shocked expression was worth any repercussions and the fact that Kacey had gotten video of it on her phone made it that much better. After wiping his face clean, Tyson took the plate and while you expected him to do the same to you, he simply got a bite on the fork and fed it to you gently. Though you’d kissed him what felt like a hundred times today, you kissed him once more before taking the fresh piece his mom had served, this time all for you.

After dessert, Kacey and Tyson’s grandparents left so that she could get them home and Laura insisted that she would clean up and that you two should just go relax. That was how you ended up curled in Tyson’s lap outside as he pressed kisses to your head and ran his fingers over the bands on your left hand. Lost in his presence and touch you hadn’t even noticed him reach for his phone until he was flashing the screen in your face showing you a picture he’d just taken. It was clear that you were curled in his lap and wearing a white dress, though you couldn’t see either of your faces. Instead, the focus of the shot was on your left hand draped over his right forearm, your rings on display.

“Cute.” You whispered, snuggling further against him as the excitement and wine caught up to you. He lifted his right arm a bit to type frantically before putting the screen back in your face again. This time it revealed a possible Instagram post with the same picture and the caption “Here’s to Forever. #surprisinglyjost”.

“Can I?” His voice was tentative.

“Babe it’s your social. You can post whatever you want….within reason.” You could feel him roll his eyes and you sighed. “If you want to you can. I don’t care.” You knew why he was asking, people could be cruel online after all. “Maybe just restrict the comments.” You suggested knowing that way only people he followed would be allowed to reply. Nodding you watched as he adjusted his settings before hitting ‘post’.

You had kind of expected his phone to blow up when people noticed but when his phone started ringing off the hook you were more surprised than you expected. For the most part, he ignored them, even his close friends like Barzal, Fabbro, and JT. But when Gabe called first once, then twice, before requesting a FaceTime the third, you murmured for him to just answer the damn thing. Sighing Tyson complied, accepting the request before adjusting his phone in his hand.

Gabe was utterly dismayed that Tyson had gotten married and hadn’t bothered to tell anyone. Laughing to yourself, you watched as Tyson bantered back and forth with his captain before eventually agreeing that Gabe and Mel could throw you a dinner when it was safe to do so. Before he got off the phone Gabe asked one more question.

“How gorgeous did she look?” Smirking down at you Tyson kissed your head before responding.

“Absolutely stunning. I’m sure Kacey took pictures.”

“You’ve got it so bad. Good for you man. Mel and I are so happy for you.”

When Tyson hung up the phone he immediately turned his ringer to silent before gently guiding you up and off of him.

“No more distractions. I think it’s time to take my wife to bed.” He smirked. As he drug you inside, past the living room you heard Laura’s voice shout after you.

“Kacey and I have headphones but please try and be quiet.”

You could have sworn you flushed from your head to your toes as Tyson nearly choked on his own spit. Lifting and carrying you over the threshold to his room, he then gently laid you down on the bed, his body moving to press over you as his right hand trailed down your side.

“Well now that’s it's out there...what do you say, Mrs. Jost?” He smirked.

“I’d say I think you’re wearing too many clothes for that Mr. Jost.”

“Oh, that can be remedied.” He insisted, his tongue fighting for dominance as he kissed you.

And remedied it was.

A week ago you were sleeping in this bed next to your boyfriend with no idea of what the future held. Tonight you were sleeping next to your husband, and though the future may still be unclear, at least you had the most incredible man by your side for all of it.

#tyson jost #tyson jost imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #colorado avalanche imagine #colorado avalanche #cavalanche #033

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captainpains · 3 years

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Sunshine (Commander Fox x reader)

Have fun with this cute trash for our favorite Fox!! Happy New Year!

Warnings: gn reader, food mentioned (does that count as a warning?), pining, Fox is horny, Fox to the rescue, mentions of a bombing, poor writing, much longer than normal (I think it’s like 1.8 k)

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Annoying.

Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard was no stranger to annoying senators and their aids. From accusing others of stealing frivolous things to stupid complaints, the Republic senators truly loved to annoy Fox and take up the guard’s time. There was also no end to the gossiping of the aids. If Fox had a credit for every time he heard a rumor that a senator was having an affair, he would have enough to buy the GAR.

He had one saving grace in the chaos. You.

You were a representative from a planet he had forgotten the name of. You looked like a ray of sunshine, shining brighter than any star. You were also pretty. The poor commander couldn’t focus whenever you were in close proximity. Despite his infatuation, Fox never actually talked to you. He merely enjoyed your presence, looking -- pining -- from afar.

Thorn noticed his fellow commander’s incessant staring at the representative. He had attempted to convince his brother that it wasn’t healthy to live his life in love with someone and never tell them. He never listened. Fox was a man that followed the rules and regulations religiously. The only time he ever broke a rule was when he was a cadet. He ran the smuggling ring for sweets and holovids on Kamino. Somehow the Kaminoans were none the wiser.

However, this was not as simple a smuggling sweets to cadets.

So when you were threatened directly by an assassin, Thorn jumped at the opportunity to facilitate some sort of interaction between you two. Against Fox’s will, he would stand guard at your Coruscant apartment, all night every night until you were deemed out of danger. Fox wanted to strangle him when he told him.

So that’s how he ended up standing in the corner of your kitchen while you made dinner. You had questioned why the guard had sent a commander to protect you, a representative from a practically unknown planet. But you decided not to voice your concerns. You were sure they had their reasons. And it’s not like you minded the constant presence of the imposing commander. You found him quite attractive, despite never seeing his face. The way he carried himself and the way he walked was so sexy to you...

You let out a yelp when some grease splashed onto your hand, bringing you out of your thoughts. You yanked your hand away from the pan. You massaged the hand in hopes of soothing the small burn. You let out a frustrated groan and glared at the meal you were preparing. You managed to finish cooking without incident. You sat down at the kitchen table and silently ate.

Commander Fox, meanwhile, was making a mental list of things he had to do. He also kept your file open on his HUD, just out of curiosity. Through your file he learned that you had seven siblings, at least twenty other living relatives, and had a net worth that made Senator Amidala look poor. Despite this, he found your apartment rather modest for someone of your statis. It was only two bedrooms with three refreshers -- which was tiny for most representatives. Fox also noticed the large amount of pictures and cultural artifacts that adorned the walls and shelves. Most of the holopics were of people who he assumed to be family and friends.

He turned his head and appreciated the several pictures hanging on the wall next to him. His eyes locked onto a picture of you with two girls (who he assumed to be your sisters) standing in front of a large building. You were wearing some... revealing attire with a massive grin spread across your face. He couldn’t help the tiny groan that escaped him as he imagined you wearing it for him.

“Commander Fox? Are you alright?” You asked, turning in your chair to face him.

“Sorry, representative. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” It wasn’t a total lie. He stayed up late worrying -- a little too much -- about his assignment as your guard.

“You should try to get more sleep. You’ll be staying up with me for the next few days,” you offered a shy smile before standing and moving to clean your dishes.

“With you?” He questioned, moving to look at you once again.

“I don’t sleep very well off my home planet,” you nodded towards the wall of photos Fox was just admiring. “It’s a small thing I inherited from my mother.”

“That’s something strange to inherit.” He commented, making a mental note to look into that.

“Humans are strange when it comes to genetics. My best friend got an intense love for spotchka from their father.” You explained, turning to lean against the kitchen counter.

“That’s likely a coincidence.” Fox replied, taking your position as an invitation to look your body up and down. While your clothes weren’t as skimpy as the ones from the photo, they weren’t exactly modest either.

“It would seem so. But every one of their siblings has the same affinity for spotchka,” you chuckled.

“Human genetics can be quite odd. I wouldn’t be surprised it that was the case.” He replied.

“I suppose so,” You bite back a smile.

After that, something changed in the air between you two. It was never awkward before, but it was more relaxed. You enjoyed the company. Fox was still strictly professional. Although, he did mess up once. He was attempting to get your attention, alert you that the speeder had arrived, and he accidentally called you by the nickname Thire had given you. Sunshine. He died of embarrassment. However, you found his slip up to be endiring. He was only human after all.

About a week into the arrangement. You were resting in the living room of your apartment. You were practicing drawing, a hobby you picked up for relaxation. With multiple threats towards you, it had been a tense week. Everyone was on edge. So you decided to kick back and relax with some sketching. Problem was, you had no idea what to draw. You started by sketching a body -- a human male body. Then it just devolved into page after page of Commander Fox. He was in various poses, some heroic some oddly domestic. There were even a couple of drawings of what you assumed his face looked like. It was when you had reached true inner peace. Only for it to be interrupted by Fox.

“Is that me?” He asked, pointing to your most recent sketch. He hadn’t meant to snoop, but he was your guard. It was his job to observe everything in order to ensure your safety. That included you.

“Sorry. I just draw what I see...” You cleared your throat.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just not used to being...” He couldn’t think of a word for it.

“The subject of art?” You finished for him, sounding unsure of yourself. You stood up from the couch, walking to the kitchen to retrieve a cup of caf.

“I guess that’s one way to put it.” Fox followed you diligently into the kitchen.

Before you could respond there were a loud bang and a bright flash of light. You couldn’t do anything as the transparisteel of the kitchen shattered. You felt a sharp pain in your legs before everything went dark. ---------- You woke up with a start. Sitting straight up breathing heavily. You were in a bright white room. Once your eyes adjusted to the light, you realized you were in the senate medbay. You looked around and found your friend, Mira, sitting in a chair next to your bed.

“Thank the maker, you’re awake,” she let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll go tell the doctor that you’re finally awake.”

Mira left and retrieved the doctor. After a long discussion, you found out that your apartment building was bombed and that you had been passed out for a couple of days. You had sustained injuries to your lower back and legs, as well as a few cuts from the glass.

Mira stayed with you for the majority of the day. She showed you news reports on her datapad and gifted you with some of your favorite candy. She even managed to recover your sketchbook and gave it to you. Near the end of the day, as visiting hours came to an end, there was a commotion by the nurse's desk. It sounded like a man trying to visit somebody, and he was being very insistent.

“Sir! I’m sorry to say, but I can not allow you in! Visiting hours are nearly over! You will have to come back tomorrow.” The nurse sounded frantic to get the man away.

“I’ll only be a few minutes.” The man argued. The voice sounded vaguely familiar.

“Sir!” The nurse, again, sounded frantic.

It was then that Commander Fox came into view. He wasn’t wearing his armor, strutting around in only his blacks. His eyes lit up when he spotted you. Ignoring the nurse that was tailing him, he made his way over to you. Mira gave you a questioning look. You only replied with a sheepish smile. When he got closer, you could see the dark circles under his eyes and the five-o’clock shadow on his face.

“I guess I’ll leave you two alone to talk.” Mira awkwardly said, giving a nod to the nurse as an apology as she left. The nurse gave a wary look before she left. Fox moved and stood next to your bed. His eyes were looking you up and down, surveying your injures, before sitting down in “Is there a reason you decided to come to visit me, commander?” You asked after a long moment of silence.

“I was just checking in on you... Ya know Thire was worried.” He lied. He was a horrible liar. He also sounded exhausted, like he hadn’t slept for a coruscant week.

“Commander, if I didn’t know any better, I would say it sounds like you were worried about me,” you grinned.

“Again, just doing my job...” There was a long, heavy pause before he spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper, “I thought I lost you...”

“Thanks to you, commander, I’m still here,” You replied in a low voice, taking his hand in yours.

“Almost lost you. Almost lost my sunshine...” he muttered sleepily, his eyes starting to drift close. But you smiled at the nickname nonetheless.

“It’s alright now...” you spoke in a hushed tone, reaching for his hand.

He gave your hand a squeeze, a smile appearing on his face. He continued to drift off into sleep, muttering nonsense as he did so. You could only make out one thing as he finally fell asleep.

“’night, sunshine.”

#commander fox #commander fox x reader #cc-1010 #tcw fanfiction #star wars #coruscant guard

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queenbirbs · 4 years

Text

I was the son you always had | Ethan x MC

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC

Warnings: discussion of drug use, language, neglect

Word count: 4.9k

Summary: Ethan confronts Louise. Post chapter 13.

Notes: Title taken from the Bear’s Den song “Above the Clouds of Pompeii.”

------

The years have not been kind to Louise Ramsey.

If that’s still her surname, of course, Ethan isn’t sure. It’s what he gave Marlene for the admission forms; she had the wherewithal, at least, to not even bat an eye at the name. He’s always liked Marlene, even if attempting to curb hospital gossip is like trying to put out a fire with an eyedropper. Having been fourteen hours since she was admitted, it’s no secret that Doctor Ramsey’s mom is the OD in room 532.

It’s the same room he’s standing in front of, trying to gather his wits. The rest of the staff look on from behind their pillars and charts, as if the art of discretion is lost on them all. Ethan stamps down on the reflex to bark and snarl at them. It’ll only stoke the flames if he does.

“You have to turn the knob to open it.”

That tight feeling in his chest eases up a fraction. He turns to see Sloane, propped up against the wall beside him. In a sea of a thousand curious faces, her expression of concern is a welcome sight. Resisting the urge to reach for her, he opts for a look of disappointment at the joke, or attempt thereof. She answers with that gentle smile of hers, the one where the left corner of her mouth crinkles up and her dimple appears. Her gaze drifts from his and over to the window; on the other side is Louise, the pallor of her face covered in a light sheen of sweat. The hands that used to hold his as they crossed the street tremble around the pages of whatever magazine she’s pretending to read.

“I don’t know why I’m bothering. I already know why she’s here.”

“No, you think you know why,” Sloane says, and he hates it, but he knows she’s right. “The only way to know for certain is to talk to her.”

“And what would that conversation sound like? Hi, I’m Doctor Ramsey, the son you left without a backwards glance when he was eleven years-old. How was the turkey sandwich you had for lunch?”

She leans her temple against the wall, her eyes glazing over in that familiar way that tells him she’s deep in thought. After the eleven hours she’s been here, thick strands have come loose from her messy bun to settle against her neck. The urge to sweep them away, to settle his hand there and massage at the tight lines is a fierce one.

“Treat her how you would a patient. Ask her about her pain management, about her next steps once she’s discharged. That will give you a feel for her attitude towards you, and towards herself in general. It’ll give you a foundation to start with.”

Reaching out, Sloane squeezes his arm once, then twice, before letting her hand fall away. He misses the warmth of her immediately.

“Alright,” he sighs. “Yes, thank you, that… helps. Truly.”

Before he can work up the nerve, she beats him to his next question.

“I’ll be in the office when you’re done, if you--”

“Yes.”

That smile winks at him again as she pushes off the wall and heads down the hallway. Ethan watches her for as long as he can, until the throng of staff swallows her up. Turning back to the door, he catches Louise watching him before her eyes dart back to her magazine. She hasn’t turned the page for quite some time, and he doubts the full-page cologne ad is somehow keeping her attention. Before he has to resort to a pep talk, he turns the knob and steps inside.

Louise looks up as he closes the door behind him.

“Oh. Hello.”

“Hello,” he greets through a throat stuffed full of cotton. “I’m Doctor Ramsey. I’m here to perform a check up and see how things are going.”

Her mouth opens and closes, her eyes growing wide beneath her bangs.

“Well, okay, yeah, but -- I mean, I know you. I know who you are. You’re my son.”

The angry retort he prepared never comes, drowned out by the roaring pulse in his ears as he picks up her chart from the foot of the bed and reads through it.

“Yes, I’m aware.” He brushes off her words and continues in a forced monotone. “We’ve got you on lofexidine to help reduce the detox symptoms. Even with the assistance, those symptoms will likely peak in the next day or two, depending on how heavy your usage is.”

“I know.” She toys with the magazine as she speaks. “This isn’t my first rodeo.”

Ethan lifts his gaze from the chart and looks -- really looks -- at his mother for the first time in twenty-six years. The dark brown hair she used to tease with her can of Aqua Net, making the hallway outside the bathroom smell of chemicals, is now a sallow gray. The warm arms that would hug him tight are gaunt from malnutrition. The bright face that he remembers smiling down at him, or blowing raspberries against his cheek, or peeking around his door to call him down for breakfast is no more. Pockmarks mar her skin, more visible now without the thick coat of makeup. Deep grooves circle underneath her eyes and along the curve of her cheeks, carving at her skin.

“When did the drug use start?” he asks.

“We were at the tail end of the nineties recession, but layoffs were still happening across the company. I was lucky to keep my job, but with a forty percent cut of staff, those duties had to be distributed elsewhere.” She heaves out a sigh, a weary chuckle following after. “Being the finance manager, I was elsewhere. My coworker, Brenda, she’s the one who got me started, going on and on about how it made her feel relaxed and on top of things. I grew up in the seventies, so I’d taken an occasional trip or two with LSD. It didn’t seem so bad just to try it out. At first, it was a line or two to get through the fourteen-hour work day. Then, after a few weeks, two lines became five. And then…” she drifts off, her hand dipping from side to side.

“Not that working those long hours helped in any way. I never got to spend time with you -- that was your father.” It’s impossible to miss the bitterness in her tone, the downward turn of her lips. “He got to play stay-at-home dad until you turned two. He got to hear your first words, watch you take your first steps. He’d tell me all about what I’d missed when I got home: how much fun you had at the park, how well you did in the spelling bee, how high you placed at the science fair. He got to be the parent, and I was just the moneymaker.”

The dull roar in his ears changes to a shrill pitch, drowning out every sensible thought inside his head. The sob story was to be expected, but the jealous jabs at his dad are a step too far. How dare she walk back into his life and insult the man who raised him? She knew nothing about that first year. How Ethan would come home from school and spot the late notices on the kitchen table. How Ethan would creep down the hallway at night and see his dad sitting on her side of the bed, going through photographs and crying. How, three days before Christmas, the electric was shut off and his dad made the living room into their own campsite, complete with a roaring fire to cook beans on and flashlights to tell make-believe stories.

“So you decided to skip out and miss twenty-five more years of my life?” he snaps.

“Oh, Ethan,” she sighs, “it wasn’t like that.”

“Bullshit.”

“I had to--” she stops and drags in a breath. “I snapped, that day. I’d worked there for thirteen years, right out of high school. I got called into the boss’s office. I thought I was getting a promotion. Instead, I was reprimanded for not performing well enough. That if I didn’t shape up I’d find myself without a job at all.” Her fingers tremble with effort as she pushes her bangs aside, her glare set firmly on the tiled floor. “And then I came home -- early, because I was crying in the bathroom to avoid making a scene -- and your father… he stopped me in the kitchen. He told me that I was working myself too hard, and that I should try to take some time off to be with you two.”

She looks up at him then, sympathy for her misdeeds plainly written across her face. Ethan wonders if he’s still that good at reading his own mother, or if she’s that good of an actress.

“Then you went to the store,” he finishes for her. “And you never came back.”

“I went to the bank,” she corrects, as if, in the grand scheme of things, it matters. “I took out my money and got in the car and drove. I made it all the way to Richmond before a state trooper took note of my tags. After I made it clear that I’d left of my own volition, he let me go, and that was that.”

The flippant way she describes those harrowing days feels like a slap in the face. His next words are spoken through clenched teeth, as he attempts to reign in the anger that burns through him.

“You could’ve… why didn’t you leave us a note? We both thought something terrible had happened. He never said anything in front of me, but I wasn’t stupid. I watched the news. I saw what happened to other moms who disappeared.”

He remembers sitting in Mrs. Lemon’s living room, their next-door neighbor and his babysitter while his dad was out searching. He remembers the ticking of her crochet needles and the smell of the litter box that needed changing and the feel of the corduroy couch under his flannel pajama pants. He remembers Unsolved Mysteries playing on the box television in the corner, the host stepping out from behind a shadowy pillar to ask for his help solving a mystery. He remembers asking for a pen and paper to write to Mr. Stack and see if he could air his mom’s case.

“I… like I said, Ethan, I just-- I snapped. I had to get out of there. Every day it felt like I was drowning, but then, seeing you, coming home to you, gave me enough air to breathe.” A wistful little smile appears, but soon falls away as she continues. “I made it all the way to Tampa and lived there for a few years with an old friend. After that, I moved around some, changed my name, tried to make something of myself.” She gives a hapless little shrug and reaches up to pull at the dry skin on her lip. “But I was hooked. Still am, I guess. And that always kept me from reaching out -- because I did think about it, Ethan. I did.

“I tried rehab a few times, and the other moms -- their children wrote them letters and came for visiting hours. They talked about all the wonderful things they were going to do together once they stopped using.” Louise yanks at her lip again, cursing when her fingers come away flecked with blood. “But when I thought about writing to you, the thought of you seeing me like that stopped me. And the longer I stayed, the more I watched those families stop visiting and the letters stop coming. And it seemed… pointless.”

Odd, he finds, that she refused to reach out over fears that he would abandon her. He wonders if she rehearsed her lines beforehand, or if she’s this good at ad-lib. The misty eyes and pitiful expression only serve to enhance the performance; she wears a mask, and her face grows to fit it. Buried underneath all that disappointment and resentment, though, is the what if. What if she’s telling the truth? She could have easily been another dejected workaholic that fell victim to her vices and sacrificed her relationships in the process. As a physician, Ethan knows how tight of a hold addiction can have on a person.

“It’s different,” Sloane had said in the on-call room, those bright eyes of hers shadowed with experience, “when it’s not an article or a case study, but your own parent -- someone you’re meant to rely on.”

But he can’t -- won’t, even -- play devil’s advocate, not now. Not with the mother who walked right out of his life and never looked back.

Wandering over to the window, Ethan watches his city move below him; people and cars and buses and trucks going and going while he wastes time here.

“For four days, I didn’t believe Dad.” Unwilling to turn back to Louise, he searches for city hall as he speaks, finding an odd comfort in the ugly, familiar structure. “I thought he was lying when he said you left. He told me you were okay, but that you decided you needed some space from him. I think that early on… we-- he thought you would come back. Then four days became a month, then three, then school started, and when I had friends over I had to explain how it was only Dad now and that you’d left. That no, we hadn’t heard from you, but no, we didn’t think you were dead.”

Though, in his weakest hours, during that first year of her being gone, Ethan had thought about it. Would that look of pity be easier to handle if the concept of choice was taken out of the equation? If cancer or a car accident had taken her away, would that be more palatable for his friends to understand, rather than her choosing to abandon him? He could’ve been the kid making lame dead mom jokes, instead of the kid hiding his tears and fumbling his way through an explanation on why he didn’t need to make a Mother’s Day card this year, Miss Riddleberger.

“You can imagine my surprise,” he says, “when Dad told me you were back in town and wanting to reconnect.”

“Because I -- I do want to, Ethan,” she pleads, her voice cracking over his name. “I’ve spent all these years wondering about you. But look at you! You’ve done so well for yourself. Your father, he told me about how well you did in college, that you graduated the top of your class at medical school.”

“That was nice of him.” The reply is sour in his mouth, bitter and painful. “Did he also tell you that when I was thirteen, I fell off my bike and broke my arm and, despite everything, I cried for you? Or when everyone else was getting graduation photos with their parents, Dad had to stop another family to get our picture taken?”

Louise’s breath hitches artfully; he imagines that she’s clutching a hand over her heart, the picture of a distraught mother.

“No, he… didn’t tell me about any of that.”

“No,” he agrees with a humorless chuckle, “no, I don’t imagine he would have. I imagine he also didn’t mention that I saw you leaving your motel.”

She makes a noise of interest at that. “Then,” Ethan continues as he finally turns back to face her, “my friend was in a nearby market and watched you shoplift. Oh, but before that, she overheard your interesting phone conversation.”

Louise studies him for a long moment and he feels eleven years-old again, sitting on that corduroy couch, hoping and hoping and hoping his mom would come home safe. Some small part of him wants to be wrong about her. But Sloane has taught him time and again that gut feelings can’t be brushed aside.

“That call had nothing to do with you,” Louise tells him.

Crossing his arms across his chest, Ethan settles his shoulder against the window.

“I’ve been a physician for almost a decade now, which means I’ve gotten rather good at knowing when patients are lying to me.” He holds up a hand to stall her immediate protest. “I also know that standing here and arguing with you is a waste of my time. There’s someone out there who I care about a great deal, who I treated horribly earlier because of you, yet here I am. So, here is my offer: once your three days are finished here, I’ll help you secure a spot with a rehab facility. One of the country’s best is right outside the city and I know the director there. Once you’re in recovery, you can decide what you want to do with your life.”

“I don’t think I can afford--”

“All expenses during your stay will be paid for by me.”

“Oh.” Her eyes grow wide and her lower lip trembles. “That’s-- thank you, Ethan, that’s--”

“Let me be clear about this, though,” he interrupts, straightening to his full height and pinning her down with his gaze. “This is the only financial help I will give you. This isn’t an act of forgiveness. I still don’t trust you, and right now, I’m not sure I ever will. But you--” he clenches his teeth against the sudden wave of emotion that batters at him, “--you’re still my mother.”

From his coat pocket, he pulls out a thick, crinkled envelope. Crossing the room, he hands it to her; she pops the tape and slides the card out. It’s been twenty-six years, but he can still remember the glittery flowers on the front, the curly font of whatever silly poem he read aloud to his dad in the card aisle when choosing it.

“You held onto this for all these years?” she asks, tears spilling out onto her pale cheeks. As she opens the card, the dried husk of a flower falls out and onto her blankets; a daisy, her favorite. He remembers sneaking onto Mr. Taylor’s lawn to steal it.

“You left before I could give it to you.”

It’s the last thing he has of hers. Something settles deep inside his sternum at the notion that he’s free of it. “Do you agree to the terms I’ve set?” he asks after a moment.

Louise looks up from the card and smiles at him.

“Yes.”

------

“You didn’t have to come with me.”

“You’re right. I didn’t.”

This late in the evening, with most of the patients fed and medicated, the only sounds are the low murmur of televisions and steady beeps of monitors; the white noise of second shift.

“Did you manage to get any sleep?” Ethan asks, unable to stop the quick once-over he gives her.

“I took a nap on the couch. When I woke up, someone had covered me with a blanket. It was sweet.”

Sloane side-eyes him, that little smile making its appearance for the third time today. He wonders when he’ll stop keeping track of something so silly.

“That was very kind of them to do,” he says.

“It was.”

They make it to room 532 and Ethan stops to shift the tray of food in his hands. Sloane lets out a grumble about men and opens the door for him. He’s forced to a halt right inside the doorway when Sloane stops and flashes him a concerned glance over her shoulder.

“Wait, where’s your mom?” she asks.

“What?”

Nudging her forward, Ethan steps into the room. He takes in the freshly-made bed, the chemical smell of a hospital-grade disinfectant, and, most alarming: the lack of his mother or her things. Turning on his heel, he beelines to the nurse’s station and slams the tray down onto the counter. The plate cover pops off, sending potatoes and green beans into the floor. Kendra glares at him from her seat behind the computer.

“What crawled up your--”

“Room 532 -- where’s the patient?” he growls.

With a huff, she moves to the keyboard and pecks at the keys. Ethan watches the realization spread across her face and hates seeing her anger turn to pity. He’d rather have the former.

“Says here patient discharged herself around four.”

“Why wasn’t I informed?”

“I’m sorry about that,” Kendra replies in a cool tone, then doubles down when he scoffs. “Really, I am. But you’re not listed as the primary attending, and shift change happened right about then. It fell through the cracks.”

Something wet slides across his hand. Ethan looks down to see apple juice dripping over the side of the tray and into the floor. Awareness of the mess he’s made shakes him out of the haze of outrage.

“No, I’m the one who--” he clears his throat and tries again, “--I’m sorry, Kendra. There’s no excuse for my outburst. I’ll get this cleaned up.”

“I can page for a janitor,” she offers.

Ethan shakes his head and crouches down, scooping up the cold food with his hand and dumping it back onto the tray. Before he can stand and start to locate the closest cleaning cart, familiar orange sneakers appear beside him. Sloane crouches beside him and hands him a roll of paper towels, spraying down the counter and floor as he tears off a few sheets. They pile the used towels onto the tray, now covered in a mountain of food scraps and trash. If Ethan were a metaphorical man, he would consider it an allegory for the day he’s had.

Kendra waves them off when they move to pick up the tray.

“I’ll have one of the dietary aides pick it up on their way through.”

“Thank you,” Ethan murmurs.

A nudge at his side pulls him from the slippery slope of his thoughts. Sloane tips her head down the corridor, the invitation hidden away in the lift of her brow. He answers with a nod and follows her towards the elevator.

------

Ethan drops down onto the couch, unable to quiet the weary sigh that escapes him. Jenner hops up to join him, knocking her big head against his shoulder as she snuggles close. He wraps his arm around her and rubs the white patch on her chest; Jenner settles her nose against his chin and lets out a chorus of happy grunts.

Circling the couch, Sloane takes her spot beside him and hands him a tumbler.

“How are you feeling?”

It doesn’t escape his notice that she completely skipped over asking him if he wanted to talk in the first place. The response to that would have been an emphatic no. His throat feels full of all the vague answers he could give instead, of all the ways he could brush aside her question. He thinks about sitting on Mrs. Lemon’s corduroy couch that first awful, terrible night; remembers Mrs. Lemon asked if he was okay; remembers how he boxed up all those new, scary feelings and lied.

A great, shuddering breath escapes him.

“What’s wrong with me?” he rasps.

“Oh, Ethan--”

“I’m serious, Sloane,” he interrupts, clenching his fist tight around the glass. “There has to be some explanation, right? Because that’s-- that’s twice now she’s left without even bothering to say goodbye. And she didn’t-- she never even said she was sorry, for any of it.”

He’s unaware of his own tears until he tastes the salt of them on his tongue. His chest aches from the uneven breaths he takes, his lungs burning from the effort. Jenner whines and licks at his jaw, sensing his distress.

“Why didn’t she stay?” he chokes out, unsure of which time he’s referring to.

Sloane slides her hand under his and takes his glass. Placing it on the coffee table, she turns back to him and wraps her arms around him, guiding him back into the cushions. He settles his head on her shoulder, where she runs soothing fingers through his hair.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. I could list your accomplishments until I’m blue in the face, but I know all that doesn’t mean shit to you right now, so I won’t. Instead, I’ll remind you that you’re loyal and honest and hardworking and, despite the losses you’ve experienced and despite the ways you try to hide it, you care more about helping people than anyone else I know.” She kisses the crown of his head and hums. “Well, besides me, of course.”

Her intended effect works; despite it all, he feels a laugh slip through his aching throat -- it’s feeble, but it’s there.

“She’s the one missing out on knowing you,” Sloane assures. “We can’t choose who our parents are. You and I happened to get stuck with the short end of the stick when it comes to our mothers.”

Ethan knows the gist of her issues with her own mother; knows she left Sloane and her little brother at their grandparents when she was nine.

“Tell me,” he requests, to which she hesitates. “I want to know. This isn’t some tactic to… I’m not trying to avoid my own troubles, I promise.”

Her fingers resume their movement as she heaves out a sigh.

“Most of the time, it was me and Milo by ourselves, waiting for my mom to come home from work or from the club. She would come in and pass out on the couch. I knew how mad she would get the next morning if she stayed there, though, so I’d wake her up and guide her to her bedroom, make sure she took her contacts out and took some ibuprofen. On the weekend, she would have her friends over and they would fill our little apartment. But it was exciting, being around so many people, watching all of them, talking to them, fetching beer or cigarettes for them when they were too drunk to stand. Sure, sometimes they would get violent, or steal, or fight, and I would hide Milo with me under my bed until the cops left. But she threatened to drive down to Indiana and leave us in a cornfield if we got her in trouble, and I believed her.

“Then Milo started school and cut himself on some playground equipment. He has hemophilia, so the blood wouldn’t clot, and they called her to come pick him up. When she called back to tell the school nurse to ‘staple the fucking wound shut,’ the school called CPS. The morning after that first state visit, my mom packed us a trash bag each and loaded us up in the car. She told us we were going on vacation to see Gramma and Grandpa. When we got to Virginia, she kissed us on the cheek and told us she’d be back in a week. I never saw her again.”

Ethan reaches up for her hand and holds it in his, warming her fingers that have since turned cold. He can feel the small hitch in her breath as she clears her throat to continue.

“Thankfully, Milo doesn’t remember much. But he was the one who sought her out when he got old enough. He tracked her down when he was in college, found her and her new family. She lives in Corpus Christi; she’s the wife of a lieutenant. They have two kids, a boy and a girl, both in high school. After she dumped us off, she started a new life for herself.”

“Did your brother reach out to her?”

The humorless chuckle tells him all he needs to know. He lifts their joined hands to press a kiss to her knuckles.

“She told him he was mistaken. Milo sent her a photo as proof. She countered with an offer for hush money.” Ethan can’t see from his position, but by her tone, he knows she’s rolling her eyes. “Some things never change, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“Me too.” Sloane squeezes him tighter to her for a beat. “But I’m telling you my little sob story only because it makes me more appreciative of the people in my life who care about me. At first, that was my grandparents, who never once made me and Milo feel like a burden, who loved us unconditionally. Then, my friends at school, and my friends in college, and my friends now. And you have Naveen, you have me -- you even have your ‘boys,’” she teases. “But you also have your dad, who’s proud of you even when you burn pancakes. Just know that you can feel angry and hurt at her, but her walking away doesn’t diminish the love others have for you.”

Ethan closes his eyes at her reassurances, drinking them in. Unable to work up a response, he lets go of her hand to slide his arm around her waist and pull her impossibly closer. His heartbeat slows at the soft circles she rubs along his back, sinking easily, readily into his embrace.

“I don’t burn pancakes,” he says after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“What?”

“My dad, he said that?”

“Oh, my god.” Sloane barks out a laugh; he enjoys the sound of its return. “Out of all that, you would focus on that?”

“Since it was a testament against my cooking ability, yes.”

“I don’t think he meant literally. More like metaphorical.”

“Metaphorical pancakes?”

“No, you’re-- oh my god you’re the worst.”

“I thought I was amazing and caring and thoughtful?”

“You are, but you’re also the worst.”

He moves out of her embrace and up to meet her gaze. Her kiss is a gentle one, a brush of her mouth on his.

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

“I think I know just the thing.”

------

Author’s notes and what-have-yous:

I barely googled AMA discharges or protocol for those, but I know that since she is his mom, Ethan would not be allowed to be her actual doctor.

“He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it” is a line from George Orwell’s Shooting An Elephant, changed slightly for this fic.

#open heart #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #Kaila writes things #f: I was the son you always had #okay second time's a charm right?

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axe-armed-gnome-jon · 3 years

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day one: favourite character

This is my first entry for the @tmanostalgiaweek because the finale left a hole in my heart and I needed to write stuff. Enjoy!

Jon didn’t sleep a wink all night

Because of insomnia? No. Because he hated sleeping? No.

Because during the night some Instagram meme pages kept him too much company?

Absolutely yes.

It was almost an habit: coming home from work, going to bed and watching memes with monkeys and dogs until late night.

But he was in the archive, dragging his feet across the corridor with eyebags darker than an ink spot and a frown that touched the floor.

He just kept walking, praying silently asked him…

-Good morning, boss!- Tim’s voice shook him like a lightning directly into his veins. -How are you?-

Jon replied with a low, tired grunt, slamming his office’s door begging to drown in his chair as soon as possible.

Diving deep, drowning.

Basically, dying in the plastic fabric of the chair.

He sat down heavily, taking his head between his hands and passing his fingers trough his hair. He was twisting them around the phalanges as if they were nets thrown into the stagnant water, trying to think as fast as possible a solution.

He definitely couldn’t just sit there and take a nap, the pile of statements on his desk was judging him with his eyes made of papers and notes taken with a glitter pink pen, but he couldn’t move a muscle without crying and because he knew that when he was sleepy he could make...you know? Error on errors on errors, something very unprofessional that could have put him in troubles.

Because everything was a disaster and God was dead.

He had an headache. But not the kind of “pneumatic hammer at six o'clock in the morning” headache, but something more subtle, that crawls from the temples to the centre of the skull like an industrial press, the one that makes you close your eyes and stay still until it stops.

He could feel his eyes dry as dried plums pinned skewered in the head.

Next time, phone locked in a box before bed, okay?

He took a deep breath, massaging her temples slowly.

-Alright, maybe I have an idea- he muttered to himself, going through his jacket pocket to get his old cell phone and the headphoneThe music was like snake oil, at least for him. He put on his headphones and all thes all tangled.

The music was like snake oil, at least for him. He put on his headphones and all thoughts became liquid, he put on his headphones and everything became full of colours.

Maybe he could try.

-Just two songs- said to himself. -And then I’ll start-

He opened his cell phone, putting on the first energetic music playlist that he so liked to pretend to despise and vaguely hearing the music coming to his ears.

It was weird, how the volume was always too low.

But maybe his headphones were broken.

Tim had the superpower to recognize any Ariana Grande song after about ten seconds.

Sure, it wasn’t the most useful power, but he used that ability many times during his life.

And that time was one of them.

Sitting on his chair, he was going through some papers, the ones he was researching on, when the first notes of Dangerous Woman started to fly in the air like bubbles.

He threw a look at Sasha, sitting on a chair next to his.

-Are you hearing it too?- asked, with the voice of someone that knew he was right but needed a confirm. Maybe he was just losing his head.

Sasha lifted her head from the document she was researching on, fixing the glasses on her nose with a dubious expression. -Yes? It’s like Ariana Grande-.

-Yeah but- Tim looked around, meeting Martin’s gaze. -Where does it come from?-

-Jon’s office, I think- neither Martin, the good old Martin, was sure of that.

The song, however, continued to go on.

It wasn’t annoying, it was just...weird.

Weird, that was the right word.

They tried to keep their ears open, when the confirm struck them like a lightning.

It was coming from Jon’s office.

They looked at each others with embarrassment, unsure on what to do.

-What he’s doing?- Sasha didn’t talk to him all morning, she was late and she started to work immediately, and in addition no one ever knew with certainty what the hell was going on in the head of their boss.

So every hypothesis was good.

-For me it’s an error, it must be his ringtone- proposed Martin.

-He forgot to put the headphones’ jack in the phone- Tim leaned with confidence to the back of the chair, squinting his eyes. -I saw him this morning, he seemed very tired. More than usual, anyway-.

You always had to trust Tim, because he knew all about Jon.

Everyone nodded.

-But we have to say something to him, don’t we?- proposed the good old Martin after a few minutes, shining eyes full of wonder while he was listening to the music from the office at the end of the corridor.

-I think he’d die of embarrassment, he will notice it alone at some point- Sasha simply shrugged her shoulders, heading back to the document. -I’d let it drop-.

She wasn’t wrong.

She was never wrong.

-But if Elias comes he’ll be in troubles- replied Tim .

-Yeah. Someone has to tell him something- Martin made a pause. -But we have to decide who-.

Needless to say, the other two gazed at him with decision in their eyes.

-Oh no, guys- Martin put his hands in front of him, which resulted in the fall of a pair of pens from his desk. -I’m not going there-.

Martin found himself knocking at the office’s door.

Because he was a loser, that’s why.

Every time that he gazed back to his colleagues, there were always encouraging signs and fakes smiles, while the entire Ariana Grande’s discography was going ahead without any pause and even louder.

Martin hated Ariana Grande, but he knocked again.

Knocking and knocking and knocking.

Until he realized the door was open.

He opened it slowly, founding himself in a club where the only things missed were the dancers and the alcohol, replaced by papers full of stories and a water bottle full of warm water.

Jon had his headphones on, smiling quietly like he was actually having fun.

Martin’s heart started to aching, like if all of his ribs where trying to stop it from jumping outside his chest.

He was having so much fun, what a pity.

But hey, it was necessary.

Martin went in without announcing himself, staying there with his six feet of embarrassment in front of the door.

At the same moment, his boss tilted his head, stopping the music and taking off the headphones from his head.

He scaled him from head to toe with his big hazel eyes, wit confusion infused in his dark pupils and yet another pout that immediately replaced that half-smile.

The jack, Martin noted, was actually disconnected.

-What is it, Martin? - Jon stood up on the chair, as if he had been struck by a flash of seriousness, tapping his fingers on the desk.

-I...umh…- got to that point, he didn’t know how to proceed. He always had the bad habit of leaving everything down in the middle.

Jon raised his eyebrows in an impatient expression. -So?-.

-No, well. I was saying- Martin had to be brave. He was his boss, yes, but he was an human, first of all.

-You were saying…?-

-Your headphones. Are disconnected from the phone. We heard the music. It wasn’t annoying or anything, Tim likes Ariana Grande an everything but, if Elias comes or stuff like that…- he left the sentence hanging, noticing the terror and embarrassment flowing through the man on the desk’s annoyed expression.

He looked at the phone, then at the headphones, and realized.

Realization crawled out like a snake and sat down on his face, leaving him with uncertain eyes.

-Fuck. Sorry? Sorry. I didn’t notice...sorry. Sorry- he managed to murmur, immediately lowering the eyes, leaving a thick fog of awkwardness fill his lungs and coming out in small laughs.

he wasn’t used to being embarrassed.

-No, no. It’s nothing, really- Martin didn’t understand shit anymore.

He was already ready for his healthy daily dose of scolding, sarcastic comments and all the rest, but an apology? In this economy?

That wasn’t planned.

-Nice. Again, sorry. I’m just a little...slow, this morning. Had a bad night-. He always had the bad habit to mess up with apologies. Over explain everything.

-I understand- Martin cut short everything, making a small smile. -I’m sorry I didn’t knock-

-Sorry for the music-

-Sorry again-

-Sorry-

-I’m going to finish the thing you asked me to, the one about the haunted book- Martin proceeded backwards, without stopping to look at the other just to notice the tiny changes on his face.

From a bored grimace he started to smile in a nervous way, and now he seemed almost relaxed.

Amazing, how emotions can so quickly paint the human face in a thousand of different shades.

-Sure. Thanks- Jon made the tiniest smile, taking a statement from the big pile.

Martin took the door, coming back to his desk, between the applause of the other two, who had observed the door literally fearing the worst.

He sat down, and sighed.

There were no notes in the air.

But Jon, in his small and silent office, was blushing like a pepper.

#tmanostalgiaweek #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fic #tma s1 #the sixteenth fear: the disconnected headphones in public places #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #sasha james #tim stoker

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 4 years

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Wedding Dresses - What You Wear Getting Married to Each of the Triple Frontier Men

Pairings: Will Miller x Reader, Ben Miller x Reader, Frankie Morales x Reader, Santiago Garcia x Reader, Tom Davis x Reader Rating: T Warnings: Light cursing Notes: Like halfway through writing this I was like ‘hey, I know! Moodboards!’ Which I don’t do often so I’m sorry if they’re...Bad. I also wound up Pinteresting like c r a z y for this so if you want a link to anything I gotchu ;) The actual headcanons also got away from me while I was writing them, so. Whoops.

Will Miller - Romantic Lacy A-Line

You’d both waited for this - for a long time. You knew it wasn’t going to be a big event; just your families and your closest friends. Will was already covered in the wedding wear department - he was going to be wearing his dress uniform, he didn’t even have to worry about a tux. You on the other hand, well. You had a few things to consider. The reception was going to be in his parents’ backyard; you knew it would be decorated with white string lights and mason jars full of flowers. It’d be sweet, romantic. You decided that you wanted your dress to capture that feeling. Going into dress shopping, you weren’t sure about lace - you didn’t want to look like a tablecloth. But the embroidered bodice of the dress had thrown you for a loop - and the lace didn’t blanket the skirt, it was placed expertly throughout. You felt delicate and romantic in it. You opted for a shorter veil; you were sure it would come off after the ceremony, anyway, and you didn’t want to worry about it. You decided to wear the necklace that Will had given you for your last anniversary, and found shoes that complimented the lace detail on the dress. “You find a dress?” Will asked you when you came home from dress shopping. You’d told him that you had. “Do I get a hint?” He’d asked. “I got a mini dress. Barely covers my thighs -- neckline down to my navel. You’re gonna love it, babe,” You’d teased. Will had laughed, swept you into a kiss. “You could wear a burlap sack and I’d love it,” He’d sworn. After your ceremony, as the two of you drove to his parent’s house for the reception, he leaned over, kissing you sweetly at a red light. “For the record,” He murmured, “I think I actually like this better than a burlap sack.” “...But less than a mini dress?” You asked. Ben Miller - Boho Chic Dress - with a surprise two-piece look for the reception

It was going to be a party, you knew that going in. The first thing you and Benny had booked was the frickin’ DJ. You knew going into dress shopping that you’d be looking for something you’d be able to dance in, and something that you’d be comfortable in all night - the two of you were getting married in mid-July; it was going to be hot. Benny had told you, “Look, I don’t care what you wear -- we’ve gotta be able to move, babe. None of that tight-- waddle-walk type dress shit, what’s it called? Penguin?” “Mermaid!” You’d corrected him once you’d managed to stop laughing. The dress that you wound up with wasn’t the ‘traditional’ wedding dress, but you and Benny weren’t a traditional couple. The slit meant an ease of motion while you were walking; the skirt was flowy and wouldn’t be too heavy in the summer heat. You choose gold-heeled boots instead of high-heels, not wanting to worry about tottering down the aisle. You had assumed you were all set when you left the bridal salon. You didn’t find the two-piece look until you went back for your dress fitting. You’d been toying with the idea of a separate reception dress, and you’d spotted the jumpsuit on your way into the salon. Your maid of honor hadn’t even bothered to try to talk you out of it - she knew she’d never win. Benny had loved your dress when he saw it, but when he saw your reception outfit? “... I married the smartest fucking woman-- Holy shit, it has pockets?”

Frankie Morales - Princess-y Ballgown

Frankie had thought about his wedding day - a lot. So had you. You just hadn’t realized that the both of you had considered what you would be wearing so much. You had bought a couple of bridal magazines and you kept them around to flip through for inspiration; every once in a while, when you were looking through one, he’d lean over your shoulder and mutter, “That one’s nice.” Sometimes you’d open a magazine to find a page with a ballgown on it dog-earred. The first couple of times that this happened, you’d figured that you’d done it and just forgotten. The fifth time, though, you’d held it up, showing it to Frankie. “Did you mark this for me, babe?” You asked. He glanced at it, muttered, “Might’ve,” Before slouching down on the couch a little more and turning back to the tv. Hint hint, Future-Mrs. Morales. You were surprised at how strongly he felt about you wearing a ballgown-style wedding dress. You wanted to look hot; he wanted you to look like a princess. To him, you were one. You didn’t think you wanted a ballgown. But, since he’d mentioned it, you decided to try one on when you went shopping. You fell in love with it the second you saw yourself in it. The strapless sweetheart top and a lacy, partially see-through bodice was a little bit sexy; the full, layered, lacy skirt made you feel the way Frankie saw you: like a princess. You got the best of both worlds. Frankie’s mom lent you her veil, giving you your something borrowed; your mother gifted you the necklace she wore on her wedding day, giving you your something old. Your shoes and your dress were your something new, and your flowers were your something blue. Frankie cried when he saw you coming down the aisle. Santiago teased him about it, but he didn’t care. You’d never looked more beautiful. Santiago Garcia - Alluring Mermaid Dress

Santiago did not think he was ever going to get married. You knew that. That was why you hadn’t expected him to be such a Groomzilla. Alright, maybe ‘Groomzilla’ was an exaggeration, but Santiago was kind of...Particular when it came to the things that he wanted - even more particular than you were.

“Are you gonna micro-manage my dress, too?” You’d been teasing him when you’d asked that. He didn’t even look away from the email he was sending to the caterer. “If that’s a serious question then yeah, I have some thoughts,” He’d said. It had definitely not been a serious question, but you did want to see what he had in mind. Santiago had sent the email off, then tugged you into his lap and pulled up a folder on his laptop labeled ‘Wedding Ideas’ (which you'd had no idea he had - but it really shouldn’t have surprised you; Santiago was a planner, through and through). The dresses he’d looked at were sexy, bordering on skimpy. “You know my family will faint if they see me in that,” You’d told him after he’d clicked on one dress that was entirely see-through, save for some expertly placed lace, “That looks more like lingerie than a wedding dress-- what kind of underwear am I even supposed to wear with that?” “Who says you have to wear any?” Santiago countered. The pictures that he’d shown you had been fresh in your mind when you’d gone shopping for dresses. You’d had ideas of what you’d wanted to wear, and you wanted to find a happy medium between your preferences and his. In this dress, you did. It had a sexy-ish top, and a form-fitting silhouette that showed off your body. Santiago broke out into the widest grin when he saw you walking down the aisle. He broke into a wider one when you pinched his shoulder during your first dance, after he whispered to you, “So where did we net out on the underwear situation?” Tom Davis - Classic A-Line V-Neck

Tom wasn’t against getting married again, obviously, but he didn’t want to make it a massive deal. He already did the big wedding thing once. You knew that he was a little trepidatious about the process. He told you while you’re planning that he was fine, but he was a little more tense than usual in the months leading up to it. You did your best to involve him in the planning without overwhelming him with it, and when you asked him what kind of dress he'd like to see you in, he was surprised. He wasn’t involved in that process last time. He asked you to let him think about it, and you agreed. You found out after the fact, of course, that Tom, in typical Tom fashion, had been incredibly thorough: did research on different silhouettes, wedding trends over the last five years -- he even took undergarment types into consideration. But when he’d come back to you, he’d simply said that he wanted you to wear whatever you’d be happiest in; it was your day. You’d frowned, cupped his cheeks, and said, “Sweetheart, it’s ours.” He’d nearly cried. Tess was with you when you’d found the dress. The two of you got along well, and you’d been involving her in the wedding planning where you could. Your maid of honor hadn’t been able to get the day off of work, and you hadn’t wanted to go alone. You’d tried on a few dresses, with varied silhouettes and fabrics. You were hesitant to try on something that seemed a little more plain on the hanger, but this satin A-line ivory dress had caught your eye. Tess had helped you accessorize, and suggested a belt that had given the look just the right amount of bling. “Do you think your dad will like it?” You’d asked uncertainly. Tess had met your eyes on the mirror. “Do you love it?” She’d asked. You’d nodded, and she’d smiled and said, “Then so will he.”

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dragonseattofu · 3 years

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School Days (TWEWY Fanfiction)

Summary

As the gang prepares for the annual school cultural festival, Shiki's not hiding in Eri's shadow anymore, and other people are starting to take notice. At the same time, Neku learns that the line between more than friends yet less than lovers is starting to blur.

Notes:

So to try and somewhat contribute to the very smol neshiki twewy fandom, I wrote this self-indulgent piece. It might come off as OOC, but at the end of the day I hope it’s enjoyable to at least one person out there (even if that’s just me). Dedicated to @altorav and @trashcan-of-a, in their efforts to show the world how wholesome neshiki is, you’ve inspired me. I hope you like it! (Plus we needed some fluff post episode 3 angst).

Preview:

It was that time of year again, the annual school cultural festival. A time of ostentatious costumes, overly enthusiastic maid/butler cafe hosts/hostesses, and even more unnecessary social interactions that Neku would rather just avoid school all together.

What a drag, the teen thought as he drowned out his classmate’s debate on what theme they should do.

Looking at the window from his seat, Neku was grateful he listened to his mother this morning and grabbed an umbrella. The cumulus clouds hung low, their edges tinged grey.

“Okay everyone, that’s it for today. Make sure to sign up for your roles before the end of the day!”

Pulled out of his reverie by chairs scratching against the worn linoleum and erupting chatter, Neku stood up from his seat and walked over to the bespeckled girl two rows down.

“You weren’t paying attention, were you?” The petite girl asked before he even got out his greeting.

He picked at one of his spiked out strands of hair, “is it that obvious? Festivals are such a bore.”

“They are not! And this year we have Beat and Eri to celebrate it with. Even Rhyme’s coming! It’s going to be fun!” She was really enthusiastic about this, and not the false happiness she tried to pull during their time in the Reaper’s Game, but genuine excitement. He couldn’t help but mirror her smile.

“Yeah well, what are we even doing?” He turned his attention to the board and shuttered.

“Seriously? A play … Cinderella? Cliche much? Yep, this is going to be torture.”

“Oh come on, it’s not going to be that bad! Eri and I are going to be in charge of costumes, you could help us—“

“Hey Sakuraba!” Yuji shouted from the front of the classroom, “thanks for signing up for props and set, man! We’ll have a meeting after classes in the auditorium at 3!”

Neku looked at the class president as if he had sprouted reaper wings, “what the?”

“You signed up for set-up?” Shiki asked him, getting up with her books and supplies all gathered neatly in her bag.

“Hell no, who signed me up?”

“I did.” A streak of pink wandered over to the pair. Before the young boy could protest the predicament she put him in, the girl placed her arm around Shiki’s shoulders protectively.

“I found some of your sketches in Shiki’s notebook and I figured you’d be really good at making the sets. Plus, this way you can walk Shiki home after school when it gets late. Kill two birds with one stone, right? Eri ended her explanation with a wink, much to Neku’s chagrin.

Just as quickly as Eri appeared, in a blink she was gone, yelling over her shoulder, “see you later guys! Shiki, let’s get started on the costume designs after school today!”

“Come back here Pinkie!” The boy hissed at her retreating shadow.

Shiki laughed at their antics. She grasped Neku’s fist he was shaking at her best friend gently and smiled at him before repeating, “hey, it’ll be fun, okay?”

A slight pause and resigned sigh were her only responses.

“This never reaches my mother’s ears. I’ll never hear the end of it.” He threatens, knowing full well that Shiki and his mother had each other's numbers saved as favorites.

~~~~~

Reluctantly, Neku made his way to the auditorium after school. To his surprise, he learned that the play was going to be a parody of sorts, a “Cinderella in Shibuya” story. The sets would be modeled after iconic spots in their neighborhood, one of which would be inspired by CAT’s mural in Udagawa! Even though Neku was still sulking in his seat for having to stay after school, he didn’t hate the concept.

“So gang, we’ll need a couple of supplies to start with constructing the sets and painting them.” Yuji started speaking as he walked up the steps leading to the stage.

“Takeda-sensei mentioned that we have some spray paints left over that we could use to save on budget.” Taking a seat at the edge of the stage, the class president looked into the crowd of faces and asked, “Has anyone used spray paints before?”

The answer was quite clear from the deafening silence. Neku could just sit quietly in his seat, admire the ugly clock above the stage, ticking away at the wasted minutes he could be spending with his friends if he wasn’t stuck here…

Or he could take a page out of Mr. H’s book and expand his world. Push his horizons out as far as they'll go. If Shiki was trying to overcome her insecurities and expand her world beyond Eri’s, then maybe he should too. Plus, he could use the practice.

“... I have,” Neku hesitantly muttered, not used to voluntarily bringing attention to himself. The room suddenly felt ten degrees warmer as all the eyes in the auditorium turned to him.

Yuji’s surprised expression was replaced with a huge grin, “Sweet man, thanks for volunteering! You good with the Udagawa set? It’s the only one that would look wild spray painted.”

Like he needed to ask, “yeah.”

“Cool!” Yuji said, “now let’s move on to the Hachiko set. Anyone good with sculpting?”

The remainder of the meeting was spent dividing up the work. They’d start assembling the sets tomorrow, and painting would start in a couple of weeks depending on how long it took to build everything. Satisfied that he could finally go home and relax, Neku sauntered out of the auditorium, flipping open his phone to see if he had any messages. None from Shiki, huh, I wonder if she went home already?

He didn’t get a chance to dwell on why he thought of Shiki just now because he spotted the girl in question sitting outside under one of the awnings at the main entrance.

“What are you still doing here?” Neku asked, slowly approaching the brunette. Shiki turned to the sound of her name, recognition dawning in her eyes and she waved at him.

“Eri forgot she had a doctor’s appointment today, so she had to leave right after classes. I had to stay late with Mina and Ai for the costume supply list, and I wasn’t sure if you had left already.” Shiki looked up at the sky, watching the rain fall around the bench she was sitting on. “I’m waiting for the storm to let up before heading home.”

He had to stop himself from admiring her, she looked stunning surrounded by the falling rain, the setting sun reflecting off of the droplets that shimmered like jewels falling from the sky around her.

“You forgot your umbrella didn’t you?” He asked, seeing her flinch at the accusation confirmed his suspicions. With a sheepish smile, she nodded.

Neku pulled out the folded umbrella from his knapsack and opened it up, leaving room on his left. “Let’s go?”

“Yeah,” she replied, getting up to join her companion as the sounds of two pairs of footsteps splashing in a nearby puddle reverberated off the school buildings.

After a couple of blocks of comfortable silence, Shiki asked, “So how did your meeting go?”

He adjusted the umbrella before muttering, “Boring.”

“Oh.” Shiki wasn’t entirely surprised. The festival seemed like more of a nuisance to him.

“... The play’s going to be a parody in Shibuya?”

“Yeah! Isn’t it interesting? Eri and I decided to do a fusion of victorian punk for the costumes!” Neku could practically see the stars shining in her eyes, “fairytale gold with midnight navy, flowing dresses with chains and netting! It’s going to look awesome —“

So enthusiastic about the creations in her mind, Shiki didn’t see that she stepped into the bicycle lane beside her, with a cyclist approaching at an alarming speed. Neku tossed the umbrella from his left hand to his right and grabbed Shiki’s shoulder from behind, pulling her into his chest in one swift motion. Not a second later did the wind pick up next to the two teens, the bicyclist flipping the middle finger as he passed them.

“Watch where you’re going!” Neku shouted.

“You watch it kid!”

As his senses started the return to normal from the brush of danger, Neku asked Shiki if she was alright. He didn’t move away from her, only bringing the umbrella over to shield the rain that started to drip on his hand holding her shoulder. The rhythmic pattering of droplets hitting the umbrella slowed her heartbeat enough to reply.

“Yeah, a little shaken though. Thanks for the save,” Shiki said, their eyes meeting. The proximity of their faces caused their already flushed cheeks to redden a deeper hue, both quickly turning away in embarrassment. Shiki reluctantly removed her hands from his chest, and with a little hesitation, Neku released his hold on her.

Confined to the edges of his seemingly small umbrella, Neku cleared his throat and offered the girl his arm, “I-I think you should hold on to me, you know, in case I need to save you again.”

This time she pouted, “I saved you a couple of times too, you know,” Shiki commented, her nose held high defiantly. Without hesitation, she accepted the arm that extended out to her, cheeks dusted pink from frustration because he was teasing her, and that she was holding onto the person she may or may not have feelings for. With their arms now linked, the two continued their walk home as the rain started to get heavier.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll be sure to thank Piggy when I see him next time.”

“Ugh, gosh Neku, Mr. Mew is a cat!” She pulled the black stuffed animal out of her bag and shoved him in the boy’s face for good measure.

“Hey there Piggy, thanks for saving me back in the UG. Think you can save me from your master’s death glare?” Neku chuckled while guiding Shiki across the street. She was getting more annoyed with him by the second, but he couldn’t help himself. As they waited for the crossing signal to change, Neku took the time to admire the way she crinkles her nose when she’s arguing with him, and how she tightens her grip on his arm when they can proceed across the street. He’s staring too long at her, he realizes and he blushes because may or may not have feelings for her.

They were dancing around where they stood with each other for months now. Definitely more than friends, but a little less than lovers. Neku couldn’t deny that if he ever would be with someone, it would be Shiki, but they were both still learning how to be themselves. That was more important than being branded as something they weren’t yet ready for just to satisfy other people. Shiki was important to Neku, and vice versa because they were partners, and if anything was going to happen beyond that, would just happen on its own. Right now, Neku enjoyed having Shiki this close to him, talking about what the next couple of weeks would be like as they walked home together, and that was good enough for him.

~~~~~

A couple of days had passed since the shared umbrella incident, and yet again, Neku found himself staying after school, moving one of the newly constructed sets into the west wing of the auditorium. It wouldn’t be long before he could take the massive blank mural outside and start spray painting the design he had been ruminating on. With the last of the sets neatly tucked away, Neku silently nodded at Yuji to signal his leave, before picking up his things and heading out. The fluorescent “20:35” shined on his phone as he tapped it to life, lighting up the shadowed hallway as he walked further into the school.

Neku heard her voice on his way to the classroom. He knew she was probably still working, oftentimes the last person in her group to leave, but what surprised him was the presence of another, more masculine voice in response to her quiry.

“Most people don’t know about that collection, it sold out within a couple of hours after release.”

“Wow, did you manage to get anything? Oh, lift your neck a little higher.”

“Sure thing.” There was a pause and Neku took the opportunity to peer into the classroom through the silt in the door. He could see Shiki standing on a stool, intently working on the collar of their classmate’s costume. The voice belonged to Hiroshi Minaru. He was casted as the prince in their festival play, and it looked like most of his costume was complete, sans a couple details Neku knew Shiki would never overlook. She was so deep in thought that her face was barely inches from the boy’s neck. “It was a bloodbath at 5 in the morning, but I grabbed the limited edition mint polo before this other dude and I thought I was going to die!”

Neku heard Shiki giggle, and he subconsciously clenched his fists. He felt like he shouldn’t be there, eavesdropping on her. With another guy… She’s clearly still busy, and it’s not like they had planned to leave together. He debated whether he should just go, make up an excuse as to why he didn’t wait. He felt uncomfortable, and he didn’t know why.

“All done! How does it feel, too constricting?”

“No, It’s perfect Misaki-chan, you’re so amazing with a needle and thread! You really have a talent for sewing.”

“Thanks,” she said bashfully, “now, give me a good turn!”

The boy took a step back and spun around, his cape flowing around him, “how do I look?” He put his hand to his chin, and smirked at her with a lifted brow.

“Like a dashing prince charming.” Shiki replied with a friendly smile, the ones Neku had seen time and time again.

“I’m really glad we got to work together like this for the festival, it’s nice to talk to someone about fashion with an eye for clothes making.”

“Yeah, me too. Most of the time it’s just Eri and I…” Shiki looked down, steadying herself to step down from the stool. Hiroshi offered her a hand, which she gladly took.

“M-Maybe ... sometime I could show you some photos of my Mus Rattus collection?” Hiroshi said, looking up at her from below, their faces mere centimeters away.

The pair made eye contact and the next thing Neku knew, he saw her pitch forward.

“Misaki-chan!” “Shiki!”

Thankfully, she landed on her feet, still holding Hiroshi’s hand. Both heads turned to the door that was forcibly ripped open, leaving the orange haired teen standing alone, concern written on his face.

“Shiki, are you okay?” Neku asked, walking toward the pair. He saw her slide her hand out of Hiroshi’s as she redirected her attention to him.

“Yeah, a little shaken but I’m alright.” She turned to Hiroshi, “Thanks for catching my fall Hiroshi-kun.”

“No problem Misaki-chan. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she beamed at Neku, “while you’re here, what do you think?” She asked, gesturing toward Hiroshi, to which their classmate posed with a smile.

After a second or two, “I think I see a button loose.”

“WHAT, where?!” She scurried to Hiroshi, who stiffened at the sudden scrutiny.

“...made you look…”

“Neku, jeez!” Shiki puffed her cheeks. He just smiled as she attacked him with a series of punches to the arm.

Clearing his throat, Hiroshi excused himself. It was quite late already, and he felt like he was intruding on what seemed to be a private moment.

“See you later, Misaki-chan, Sakuraba-kun.”

A comfortable silence soon fell upon them. Shiki moved to gather her belongings, tidying up her projects neatly to be continued tomorrow.

“Let’s go?” She asked, holding her bag behind her back.

He nodded as she walked out of the classroom, shutting the light, and closing the door behind them.

~~~~~

The evening air whistled in his ear, a chill nipping at his nose. The weather was getting colder, the days shorter, and staying in school longer for the festival meant commuting home when the sun was either gone or disappearing beyond the horizon. He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck in a feeble attempt to fight the shivers moving up his spine. He looked at Shiki to see how she was fairing.

He saw that her cheeks were pink, from the cold or something else he didn’t know. He moved to look at her eyes, surprised when his eyes locked onto hers. Shortly after both teens looked away in different directions, a little more flushed than before.

“So Hiroshi-kun’s costume is coming together really well. The gold accents Eri wanted really worked out better than I imagined,” Shiki said.

“That’s because you brought it to life.”

Shiki looked at him with wide eyes. Neku’s always been blunt to a “T,” never sugarcoating his thoughts regardless if they were well-received or not. When he says things like this, Shiki can’t help but feel elated. He believed in her and her abilities, it was just a simple truth.

“Thanks Neku.”

She heard a muffled mhmm from his scarf.

A couple steps later, “... what were you and Hiroshi talking about?”

She gave him a thoughtful look. “Hiroshi-kun is really into Mus Rattus’ recent fall collection. Some of the pieces had some pretty neat fabrics and we started talking about textiles and fashion. I didn’t know there would be someone else that liked fashion as much as Eri and I.”

Neku grunted a reply. Realizing that he was a few steps ahead of her, Shiki quickened her pace to match his.

“Is something … bothering you?” Shiki questioned the boy, subconsciously giving him the doe-eyed look he found both irritating and endearing.

Neku felt agitated; more so frustrated because he didn’t exactly know why he was agitated. Flashbacks from that rainy day came to mind, Shiki holding onto his arm under a shared umbrella, walking home side by side, more closely than before. The memories made him feel warm and excited. Then he remembered the princely-dressed Hiroshi holding Shiki’s hand as if she was his princess he had come to rescue, and he grunted in displeasure. He came to a stop, trying to sort out his emotions. It showed on his face enough for Shiki to raise an eyebrow in concern.

“Let me in,” Shiki said quietly, “trust me?” She placed a hand on his arm delicately.

It’s not that he didn’t trust her, it was more like he didn’t trust what would come out of his mouth coherently. He looked at her hands, and with great care, took her hands into his own, slightly larger ones.

“I … ugh … want to … hold your hands.” Neku mummered, so low and into his scarf she barely caught it. But after a couple of months of getting to know her partner, she knew how to really listen when he verbally or wordlessly communicated something.

Not exactly sure where this was coming from, Shiki just replied with the first thing that came to mind, “I want to hold your hands too,” she said with a soft smile.

That was a good sign, right? Neku was nervous, but an excited kind of nervous. They were going into a very delicate topic, one that they had been carefully tiptoeing around since they came back to the RG. He didn’t know if he was ready to take the next steps, but now’s a better time than never he reasoned. He slowly realized that he didn’t want to wait any longer.

“Can we talk about…this, us?” He said, looking down at their joined hands, giving hers a light squeeze.

A pregnant pause ascended, and Neku didn’t realize he was holding this breath before he heard her speak.

“Well, I like hanging out with you, being with just you.” She closed her eyes in thought, “and I like when you walk me home.” She gestured to their hands, “this is nice too, I would like to do this more often.”

Shiki opened one eye to gauge her companion’s reaction and took a leap of faith, “I guess I’ve kind of had feelings for you for a while now, since the first time you saw me in the RG, the real me. I was super embarrassed when you told me that I was prettier than Eri. I thought you were just trying to cheer me up so that Beat and Rhyme wouldn't worry, but then I remembered that you don’t say needless things, that you really believed it, so I started to believe it too.”

Looking him straight in the eyes, Shiki continued, “I like the way you make me feel, like I’m a better person than I think I am, and I want to be the person that you see in me…”

He still hadn’t uttered a word, slowly processing what he was hoping wasn’t a dream. His silence continued and Shiki was beginning to lose her nerve, “and you should say something now because this is super embarrassing with you just looking at me like that!” Gosh, she wanted to pry her hands away so she can bury her face in them!

So the feeling was mutual all along, Neku thought, and he couldn’t stop the goofiest smile that emerged on his face.

“Well … you were my entry fee,” he replied, trying to look everywhere but her. Neku had told Shiki and the gang about his three week experience immediately after they returned to the RG. He was so apologetic for dragging her back into the game again that he didn’t see her embarrassment about what being his entry fee really meant. If he didn’t want to dwell on it, neither would she. However his comment had greater weight now, and she blushed knowing what he was implying, but she still wasn’t satisfied.

“Geez, I just gave you a whole monologue! I want something more than that. Say it!”

“Alright, alright, geez stalker don’t get your undies in a bunch,” he chuckled, and with a little bit more confidence said, “Shiki, I like you too.”

It felt like a veil had lifted, like the metaphoric waltz they were dancing finally concluded and they just stood there, hand in hand. Neku swore he heard music in his ears, the Shibuya’s metropolitan sounds harmonizing with Shiki’s melody into a rhapsody only he could hear. One day he would tell her about it, her song that was playing in his mind when she told him that she liked him. But for today he would just burn her smile into his memory, the smile she had when he told her that he liked her.

Neku didn’t know what the near future would hold, neither of them doing well under the pressure of their friends that had been right about them this whole time, but he wanted to do this right, and take it slow. For now, all he just wanted was to be with her, and hold her hand a little longer.

“Let’s take the long way home, through the park?” Neku suggested, bringing her knuckles to his lips.

“Y-yeah.” She stuttered as he boldly gave them a chaste kiss.

So into their own world, hands laced together, setting a different course home, did the young couple not realize the chuckle in the wind at the bet he just won on who would confess first.

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