Oh, so that's where all the stress is coming from.
Y'know, I'm kinda scared outta my mind to suddenly be kinda made to uproot myself and go somewhere else, even though that's kinda just... my only option now. tumblr's a dumpster fire right now, and all my friends are at least starting to establish their presence elsewhere (which I don't blame y'all a bit about, this site is a whole thing, and I doubt that's gonna change), but I kinda got comfy here, y'know? I have a reasonably sized following that I enjoy interacting with, and a lot of my extra spending money hinges on selling commissions here.
And sure, cohost is fantastic, and I'm loving it already, but my name only goes as far as the people who already know me, and that's not a whole bunch compared to here. You don't really get popular on cohost. But the other option for notoriety is bluesky, and the right to content stuff in their tos is rather alarming. Plus, it's just more twitter, and I really don't wanna exist in that space, so I dunno. I just feel kinda lost right now. I'm not going anywhere on here till tumblr dies or kills my account or whatever, but I'm kind of worried for a future where that might happen, and I'm just dumped into the empty void and forced to start from suqare one again.
I'm curious as to how the trans community allowed the mockery of trans men and mascs who dare being anything but the perfect embodiment of hegemonic masculinity to become so widespread that even cis 'allies' feel comfortable participating in it.
I thought we had gotten over transmeds mocking nonbinary people who like having colorful hair. I thought we had understood that generalizing a group of marginalized people to the point of making them a conglomerate of a blurry ridiculous stereotype was unacceptable.
I just wonder as to how people feel so comfortable mocking trans masculine musicians as all being ukulele cringe boys, and trans masculine writers as all childish YA authors.
I wonder why we let misogyny towards trans men and transmascs become so normalized that when it's called out we are told 'it's a joke, duh' as if bigotry doesn't love manifesting through jokes and ridicule.
I’m working on getting better at safewording. It’s not always easy for me to prioritize my needs as a lifelong people pleaser, but I’m getting better. My heart goes out to all who can relate; I promise, we aren’t worth less for speaking up and saying no. 💙
hate hate hate the trope where someone is like “i’ll never fall in love, i’m perfectly fine staying single and i don’t want to change that” and then they DO fall in love and it’s treated as if they were broken before and they needed to be fixed through “the power of love”
like it’s perfectly fine if you’re wrong about not wanting a relationship, but it doesn’t make you a better or worse person!!!
Hm... If I ever did start posting art on here again, it'd have to be absolutely covered in a watermark, would folks be cool with that?
I dunno, I'm kinda worried I'm leaving my tumblr crowd in the dust, and I've been having a lot of complicated feelings surrounding purging my account of what it had prior... mostly unpleasant ones. Maybe I'm just trying to desperately grasp at what I deleted, I don't even really know at this point.
I'm trying to keep on a brave face, but this whole situation has taken a serious slash at my mental health
honestly this is about a lot things that are happening in my life rn. fears, otherkin-ly thoughts about myself, the lingering thought of "i'm prob a system but i don't wanna copy people", being a trans person, and more stuff.
also sorry it's really bad. i can't animate.
TRANSCRIPT;
" i'm not sure what i am. an alien? an angel? something in else? all i know is that i am me. and 'me' may refer to many many many people. i just need to realize; i wont be a 'copycat'. i'll be me. ... i hope. (i am me. am i me? i'm not me.) "