# is really REALLY going to wreck me in 7r

[omniheim]

:) remember when cloud handed sephiroth the black materia and woke up terrified, sitting up in bed to clutch his head and tell tifa and barret that he was scared and afraid and that he couldn’t do it any longer because the idea of sephiroth possessing him again and the fact he didn’t know who he was was getting too much for him to handle, and the first thing barret does is tell him it’s his fault and call him a jackass for wanting to stop :) and even though it’s so clear that he’s trying to get through to cloud through tough love and clearly cares for cloud that’s just the absolute worst thing he could’ve said in that moment :)

remember how later on, when cloud’s feeling better after everything in mideel, he gives everyone permission multiple times to stop their journey and go home if they ever decide they can’t push on or they’ve realized their lives back home were more important than risking their lives :)

:) remember when aerith dies and cloud openly explains to sephiroth, someone he despises with every ounce of his body, how his body and mind are breaking down and he’s about to cry :) something he’s never so openly and so bluntly told anyone beforehand :)

remember how some of the characters not only grieve over aerith, but also interact with cloud too :) like how barret comes over and puts his hand on cloud’s head or cait tries to cheer him up or how yuffie starts fucking bawling and collapses into his chest to be held and sob against him :)

remember when in crisis core as zack’s dying it takes cloud a while to actually process what’s happening and he just kind of sits there bewildered, still trying to regain control of himself, just staring at zack before completely breaking, and how he sat there with zack’s lifeless body for long enough for the weather to change from a dark and rainy storm to a sunny and open sky :)

:) :) :)

#& out . ╱ i’m so fucking gay for cloud my guy holy fuck . #/ THESE ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST SCENES THAT GET ME / #/ biggest angst scenes anyway / #/ also like all of advent children gets me too BUT THESE / #/ if i wanted to :) over everything that shatters me from ac i'd be posting a novel / #/ I JUST / #/ I LOVE FF7 SO MUCH / #/ I LOVE ALL OF THEM / #/ I HOPE THE WHOLE FF7 PARTY KNOWS THAT I ADORE THEM AND WILL DIE FOR THEM / #/ also i think the uh. the first scene i mentioned / #/ is really REALLY going to wreck me in 7r / #/ g o d / #/ barret i love u so much but u can't just blame cloud right out the gate like that / #/ p l e a s e / #/ i mean it WORKS he gets him to go but / #/ IT COULD'VE GONE SO MUCH SMOOTHER / #/ HE COULD'VE HAD SO MUCH LESS INTERNALIZED GUILT AND SHAME / #/ I REWATCHED THAT SCENE RECENTLY AFTER HAVING CONCLUDED CLOUD HAS BPD AND DO U KNOW / #/ HOW FUCKING AWFUL THAT SCENE IS FOR SOMEONE STRUGGLING WITH BPD OH MY GOD / #/ I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP SCREAMS INTO THE VOID /