#<- Hope it’s ok if I make you a tag since we’re mutuals!!

[4joonkookie]

Merry Nothing 🎄🚫

I hope you're taking it easy on yourself. Been seeing a lot of dread and misery on social media of people having to drive long distances and be with family they don't want to be around and the pressure of the holidays tanking people’s mental health. Let this be a reminder that we literally make all that holiday shit up and (easier said than done) you can do whatever you want and what’s best for you (or nothing at all!)

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Pairing: JK x Reader -> Chapter 7 of Cigarette Burns

Words: *sigh* another 4K

Chapter Tags: smut, fluff, holiday dread, pining (kind of), truth-telling, reference to f/f, truth or dare, mutual masturbation, o/c is kind of a pimp.

Notes: Fluffy, semi-holiday smut :) If you want pain, read any other chapter. Scroll to part 3 (III. 💜💜💜) to get right to the smut!

Summary: After a few (much-needed) months apart, you and JK reunite for a unique holiday celebration.

I. 💜💜💜

After waking up, you lay in bed scrolling on your phone when a call flashes on the screen.

“Hello?” You answer the phone to Jungkook. It’s early for him to be awake.

“Hey,” he grumbles. 

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I just can’t sleep.”

“All night? What’s on your mind?”

“Just… holidays, you know,” he says. “I'm not in the mood for it all this year. I’m going to my parents later today and I'm awake, literally dreading it.” 

“I’m sorry. I’ve been feeling the same way.”

“At least we don’t have to go to two celebrations this year. Mom’s been hounding me to tell you you’re still invited to ours.”

“Would you feel better about going if I went?” you ask, more of a probing than an offer. 

“No,” he says, confident. “I don’t mean it that way,” he adds after he hears himself. 

You choose not to take offense. “Well, honestly, you dread it every year.”

“I’m over it. The schmoozing, the fake sentiment, the gifts. It's important to my family but,” he trails, heaving a sigh. 

“I know. I told my family I'm staying at home this year. My mom’s letting me out of it out of ‘breakup sympathy’ or something, but I'll be catching shit about it until Labor Day.”

“What was your excuse?”

 “No excuse. I just told the truth. I don’t want to do the same things I've always done that don’t exactly make me happy or that make me feel… dread. I’d rather do nothing or start my own tradition.”

“You can just do that?” he asks, legitimately shocked. 

“I am,” you say. “You’re welcome to join me.” 

He takes a moment to think. “Hiding away from our families? With you?” 

“You don’t have to decide right_”

“I’m in,” he says. 

You smile. Being with Jungkook is the only thing you'd want to stay the same. And you can have it without the pressure of anything or anyone else. 

“Your place?” He asks. 

“Yeah.” Your stomach turns with excitement. Though this opens a can of worms. “Ok,” you say sternly. “Ground Rules.”

He gives an endeared sigh. “Shoot.”

“No gifts.”

“Done,” he replies. “No trees, no ugly sweaters,” he adds. “What will we do?” 

“We can keep the fun stuff. Eat, drink, and be merry.”  

“I’m liking the sound of this.”

“One last thing,” you say, feeling your cheeks warm. “Are we having sex?” 

He chokes out a laugh. “I hadn’t really thought about it since I got the invite,” he says. “Do you want to?”

“Well, we’ve been pretty healthy the past few months, and this could be a big step. Maybe we should talk about what could happen.”

He’s quiet for a while. “Are you afraid that you won’t be able to keep it in your pants?”

“Should I keep it in my pants?” you quip right away. 

“Not if you don't want to,” he says. 

“I’m just saying there’s a reason we’ve only met outside, in public, and sober because the moment we’re alone…”

“You know,” he interrupts. “If you want me to fuck you, you just have to ask. No elaborate ruse is necessary.”

 “I hate you,” you say into the receiver.  

His voice gets lower, softer. More confident. “I’m excited you’re thinking about it. And I know we’ve been super careful and thoughtful and healthy,” he mocks. “Maybe it’s time we get back to doing what’s natural.”

“So, sex, yes?” you try to confirm. “I’m just trying to not spiral. I don’t want to spend all morning anxious about it.”

“So, don’t. Let’s just go where the day takes us.” 

You take a deep breath, reminding yourself you don’t have to run away from this.

“Is it light where you are?” you ask, changing the subject and looking out the window. 

“I’m eight blocks away, so, yes.”

“My new place overlooks the park. The sunrise is pretty. You should see it sometime.”

“Maybe tomorrow morning. What time should I come over today?”

“No set time. Just when you’re ready.”

“I just need a bit to shower and break my mother's heart. What should I bring?”

“Whatever you want. Or nothing.”

Suddenly, a voice echoes from down the hall.

“Are you talking to me?” she says, peeking her head out of the bathroom. 

It’s startling. You almost forgot she was here.

“No, I'm on the phone,” you say to her, pointing to the device at your ear. She nods and closes the bathroom door again. You hold your face in your hands. There’s no way Jungkook didn’t hear her. Something about it just feels like you don’t want to tell him. 

“Who’s that?” Jungkook asks, curiously. 

You spill the truth before your brain comes up with a lie too fast. “I_ went out last night. Brought company home.” And you’re glad he can’t see how red your face is. 

“Wooooooooow,” he chuckles. “So, spill the details. Who is she? What’s her name?”

Your stomach turns at the mention of Jungkook’s probing. It reawakens old feelings and makes you feel possessive about someone you hardly know.

Wait… her name?

“That’s a great question,” you say, playing back the previous night in your mind, frantically searching for when she mentioned it.

“Scoring so many girls you can’t keep their names straight, huh?” he teases.

“I hate you,” you say again.

“Look, don’t let me interrupt you if you have company.”

“She’s leaving. She’s got plans with her family today.”

“Ok,” he says. “I’ll be over in a few hours.”

“See you then. You can let yourself in.”

II. 💜💜💜

You spend some time frantically cleaning. The place is brand new and not messy at all, but you can’t help yourself. The nerves follow you into the shower. 

It’s been a couple of months since the wedding. You and Jungkook have taken careful walks and drank mindful coffees and had a few lengthy, friendly phone calls but not too late. You have keys and have seen each other's places during doggie drop-off, but haven’t been together, alone, inside four walls. 

You both have mostly been spending time alone. Which is good. You can feel how your relationship has adjusted and semi-settled into this new, unknown place. 

But he wouldn’t be coming over if you weren’t having sex, right? You couldn’t possibly not have sex if he stayed the night, right? Is that a good thing? 

You miss him. Ache for him. Lately, you’ve been spending time thinking of your last encounter. How close you were. How you knew you wouldn't have him like this for a while again. Maybe ever. 

Even just a kiss, that feeling of his lips on yours. 

You shut off the water and hear the kitchen faucet running. Excited doggy footsteps on the tile floor. And something smells incredible. Jungkook is already here. 

You spend time in the bedroom to make a difficult wardrobe choice. Simple and understated? Or something that says ‘yes, we’re definitely fucking today’? Or do you just walk out naked?

You opt to dress in something comfortable, take a deep breath, and exit the bedroom.

“Hi,” he says, approaching to hug you. You embrace and he gives you a festive kiss on the lips. 

It makes you feel light. It’s old & comfortable and new & exciting all at once. 

“What smells so good?“ You ask, as Jungkook sets a plate in front of you. “What is this?”

He shrugs. “I made it up,” he says. 

You giggle, taking a bite. Everything he ‘makes up’ is a masterpiece.

“Good?” he asks, on edge. 

“So good,” you reply. 

A kiss and a meal from this man in two minutes and you’re in heaven. He gathers something from his bag and sits down next to you, placing 2 glasses in front. He holds a bottle of champagne and you give him the eye. 

“What? Don’t act like I need to twist your arm to have a glass of champagne. We’re celebrating.”

You zip your lips. He looks curiously at the bottle.

“I probably should’ve brought more, huh?” He says, pouring into the glasses.

You shrug. “There’s two more bottles in the fridge,” you admit. 

“That’s my girl.” He raises his glass. 

“To a Very Merry Nothing,”

You click glasses. “Merry Nothing.”

III. 💜💜💜

Hours pass and you lay on the couch, catching up on a show you used to watch together. 

“I did not see that coming,” he says, eyes locked on the black screen.

“How could you not? It’s so obvious!”

“How is it obvious?” he asks, turning to face you.

Your eyes dart down. “Well…” you begin to admit. “I guess it wasn’t quite so obvious to me the first time I watched it.”

“You finished it? Without me?!”

“We broke up. I can’t believe you didn’t,” raising your arms in defense.

“I couldn’t. I was heartbroken. It reminded me of you.” He playfully points his finger at you. “You’re heartless.”

You roll your eyes. And he strokes your legs where they’re draped in his lap. You take a deep breath and the air changes. Can just feel it. 

“So, what now?” he says, dragging his hands higher up your thigh. 

“Well, we’ve killed two bottles, eaten our way through an entire cheese plate, and finished the last season.”

“I’d like to point out, we’ve been together and drinking and semi-horizontal for several hours now and we’re still fully clothed. Just doing what’s natural.”

“You’re right,” you say. 

“We’ve made more progress than you give us credit for,” he adds, scolding.

“You’re right,” you repeat.

“Truth or Dare?” He asks.

“Oh ok,” you scoff, knowing the idea could nose-dive you right into a mess. 

“Come on! Good, clean, fun. It’s festive. And it doesn’t have to be sexual…all the time. Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” you answer.

He thinks for a while. “What did you do with my black sweater?”

You remember the monochrome that used to be your shared closet. “I’m going to need you to narrow that down,” you laugh. 

“The one with the felt stripes. It was kind of old,” he describes. 

“Oh,” you say in realization. “I threw it out.”

“What?”

“It was just sitting in the closet. You never took it. It was hideous anyway.”

“I can’t believe you,” he remarks. “Heartless.”

“You asked.” raising your eyebrows. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” he opts.

“What did you do with the ring?” He’s quiet for a while and it’s good to know where the nerve strikes. “It’s ok, whatever you did, I'm just curious. Even if you sold it, I wouldn’t call you ‘heartless’ or anything.”

“I still have it,” he nods. “I’m not quite ready to let go of it yet and… that’s all I'm willing to say about it.”

“Ok,” you nod. 

“And you’re not ‘heartless,” he says, combing hair behind your ear. I like this nothing-but-honest-confidence thing. It’s sexy.” He smiles. “Truth or Dare?” he asks.

“Truth.”

“Do you still talk to Taehyung?” 

“Right now, no.” You sigh. “But I'd like to. I… really hurt him and put him in a shitty spot. He was destined to be the roadkill on the you & me highway and I just let it happen. I want to apologize to him. I just know right now, it would be a selfish gesture.”

He nods. “Will you tell me when you’re going to talk to him again?”

“Yes,” you say. “How does that make you feel? That I might talk to him again.”

“I hate it. But I understand,” he soothes. He pats your thighs with his hands. “Ok, something fun now.”

“Truth or Dare?” You ask.

“Dare,” he picks. 

“Take off your shirt,” you say. And he does quickly. excited. 

“Truth or Dare?” he asks, eager.

“Truth,” you say, teasing.

He sticks his tongue out at you. “How long have you been thinking about us having sex?”

You scoff. “Dare,”

“Oh, come on.”

“I said dare.” You shrug.

 He sits back, smug. “Ok. Just this once you can switch.” A mischievous grin crawls across his face. “Show me what you have underneath your clothes.”

“What?!”

“Or you could tell the truth.”

And he knows he’ll find the same truth behind both doors. You could jump him now, and make it clear where your mind was. Or, you could show him your expertly paired bra & panties that will illustrate the same fact.

You stand and lift your sweatshirt over your head, toss it over his face. He removes it with a goofy smile, eyes taking you in. 

“I knew it,” he smiles. You approach him, standing in front of where he sits on the couch. He looks up at you, taking you in. 

He slides his fingers under the straps of your panties. Over your ass, feeling his breath at your hips. 

“You got all dressed up just for me?” He whispers. 

“Well, I had to be prepared,” you say, running fingers through his hair. 

“You could’ve been naked,” he remarks, his bright doe eyes looking up at you. 

 “I considered that,” you say honestly. “Truth or Dare?” you ask. 

“Dare, please.” he says, gripping your ass. 

You hand your glass to him. “Pour me another without spilling?”

 “Will you go wait on the bed?” he says, low and soft. 

 You nod. He stands and walks to the kitchen and you’re glad to have a moment. He doesn’t take his eyes off you as you meander to the bedroom. 

He returns, placing the glass on the nightstand and sitting on the bed next to you. 

You both face each other, propped on your elbows on the bed.

“Truth or Dare,” he says. 

“Truth,” you reply, frustrating him.

“Are you dating?”

“No,” you reply. 

“Women?”

“I’m having fun with women,”you say, eyes darting down. 

“Having sex with women?”

“Yes,” you say, feeling your defenses come up again.

“Any fun stories?”

“None that I'm willing to share.”

He nods. “Can I ask why?"

“I'm not comfortable sharing anything about a woman with you. I won’t lie about it… but it will be a while before I want to tell you everything.”

He nods in realization. “Fair enough. Can I ask again another time?”

“Of course,” you say. “What about you? Have you been dating?” you ask. 

“One more thing,” he interrupts, holding up his finger. “Men?”

“Is that important to you?”

“Yeah, that's why I asked,” he says. 

“No men,” you offer.

You roll your eyes at the way he’s been holding his breath, waiting for this answer. 

“Sorry, that was a sigh of relief you just heard.” You stay quiet. “Don’t give me that look. I hate the idea of you having sex with other men. Sue me.”

“What about you? Having sex with anyone? Women? Men?”

“Yeah, allow me to introduce you,” he says, holding out his hand. 

You laugh. “Nothin, huh?”

“Not that I've tried.”

“Why not?” you ask. 

“I figure it’s for the best for a while. I was spending some time… burying my emotions in sex. With you and… others.”

“How many others?”

“Is that important to you?”

“Yes, that’s why I asked,” you mimic.

“You… Her,” he mentions under his breath. “and a couple more indiscretions after the wedding.”

You nod, accepting the truth. 

He laughs. “I must say, I feel like a real loser now.”

“Why?”

“This whole setup was a lot sexier when I thought you were as desperate as me.”

“Who says I'm not?”

“You just busted last night. "

“Says who?”

“What, no-name didn't get you off?”

“No. It's not always about that. I got her off and I like that.”

“I like these details,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “Did she even try?”

You give him a little shove. “Yes, shut up, it’s hard. You've had years of research and practice.”

He chuckles, getting closer. “Well, is there anything you miss? Do you ever think of me? Miss how we did it?”

“Of course,” you say, and his eyes beg for you to go on. “Let’s just say there is an itch that only you can scratch.”

“Have you ever had a date with your hand thinking of me?” he laces your fingers together, kissing the palm of your hand. 

“Yes,” you say. “My hands and a few other choice tools.”

“How often?”

“Often enough,” you quip. 

“Truth or Dare?” he asks. 

“Dare,” you say, indulging him. “Wait, it’s my turn_”

 “Show me what you do,” he ignores, focused on his mission. “Touch yourself.” His breath has quickened.

 Your tummy turns, filled with butterflies. “Why would I do that when you’re right here?”

“Baby, I promise I'm gonna fuck you until that pretty sunrise comes through that window, but we’re trying something new, right?”

“Ok.” You pause, sitting up and taking a shaky breath, unsure what to do. 

“Look who’s suddenly shy,” he coos. “Come here.” He pulls your body toward him so your back is pressed to his chest. His back is propped on pillows and he can reach around you from behind. He kisses your neck, down over your shoulders and you feel yourself start to sink in.

You cover his hands with yours and guide him to touch. He feels over your skin, dragging between your thighs, and grazing over the fabric of your panties.

His light touches gain more pressure and you watch his fingertips press into your skin. He glides hands up and gropes your breasts, taking a deep breath and humming as he exhales. 

 He’s no longer under your guidance, but you don’t mind. You rest your hands on his legs as he touches you. 

His hands slip under the bust of your bra, filling his hands with you, fabric pulling taut. When he pulls them out, he lowers the straps and unhooks the bra.

One more squeeze of your breasts and he moves down between your legs. You take control of his hands again and press them there, rolling your hips against him. 

 “Like this?” he says, pressing down harder. 

“Hmm_” you hum. He brings his hand to your panties and pulls them to the side, eliciting a little gasp.

“Don’t rip them,” you scold, remembering your time in the closet.

 “Take them off,” he instructs. You do, sliding the lacy fabric over your thighs and around your ankles. 

He parts your knees, leaving you lewdly spread in his lap.

 “So pretty.” He gathers from where you’re wet and drags fingers around your lips, avoiding your clit, leaving it cold and aching. He surprises you with his middle finger sinking inside, holding you in the palm of his hand. 

You try to get control again, grabbing his other hand, wanting to bring it where you need it most. 

“Uh-uh,” he says, over the ruse and wanting to be in control. 

“You said I should show you,” you say, breathless.

“I changed my mind,” he protests. 

His two fingers pushed up inside pull out and drag up with pressure out of your entrance and over your clit, then back down the same path before sinking them deep inside again. Again and again he does this, feeling the deepest part inside you and rubbing over your sensitive clit, until your knees are buckling again.

 He uses his free hand to open them more forcefully, keeping you exposed.

 Now, just the pads of two fingers brushing over you, not too fast or slow, just the right speed to be squirming beneath him as he whispers filthy praises in your ear.

Can feel his cock pressing into your back as he rolls his hips into you. 

You turn over, one step from mounting him, eager to get his cock inside before he halts your hips.

“More of this,” he says, fingers still working on you. You move a little closer, straddling his thigh. 

You reach down to pull his cock from his sweatpants, grazing fingertips over his cock. At least, what you can reach from this height. He jolts at the gentle touch, using his free hand to grip your hip.

You moan at the way his skillful fingers move on you. You lower yourself onto the bare skin of his thigh so you can properly grasp him and relax your body. He groans at the first full stroke of his cock.

You reach to the bedside table for a bottle of lube and pour drops over his shaft. You spread yourself over his thigh as you stroke him, finding your hips beginning to roll. He wastes no time and snatches the bottle to pour over the estate you’ve claimed on his leg, making everything that much more slippery. 

Your eyes roll back from the friction his warm, muscular thigh provides. It covers, rubs, and presses against every centimeter of your pussy. 

“I can’t believe we haven’t done this before,” you manage through shaky breaths. 

You keep your strokes even and strong, pushing down on his balls and letting his tip drag through your fingertips, hand gliding over him. His head falls backward. 

“Stop,” he moans, removing your hand from his cock. He exhales, so close already. His tip is dripping. Leaking and red. So hot to see him this way, hungry and eager. “Why is your hand so much better than mine?” He pants, letting go of your wrists. He pulls your arms over his shoulders.

He takes a break, placing both hands on your hips and watching you. You grind on his leg, sliding back and forth on his smooth skin.

“Does that feel so good?” he taunts.

You can only nod and grind your hips faster. He flexes his leg, pushing up, and the pressure builds in your belly. 

Mischievous laugh. “Are you gonna come for me, baby? Just like this?” He taunts, slowly palming himself again. It’s sexy. You’ve hardly ever seen him touch himself like this with eyes locked on you. The images he gives fuel you.

You match your hips with his stroke, drag your lips between your teeth and let it wash over you, moaning as it pulses through you. He gives your ass a spank when you come.

You dismount him with shaky legs and he lays you flat on your back, still palming himself at the sight of you. You take over again, twisting and turning your wrist over him, loving having control of him like this. 

He reaches between your legs and fingers, still giving your oversensitive pussy attention. The stroking is lewd. Lubed and wet. His eyes are glued to your hand, enjoying himself. 

“Baby_” he moans. “Baby, I’m gonna come, fuck,” and his fingers go still inside you.

White ropes of cum spill over your tits and tummy again and again as you stroke and wring him dry. He pants and spreads the cum with his fingers, painting your chest and swirling it over your nipples. He presses his fingers to your lips and groans as you suck them clean. 

He lies next to you and kisses you, grabbing some clothing nearby to wipe you up. 

He lays his head on your chest. “Missed you,” he says, one more gentle peck. 

“Missed you,” you reply. 

He spoons behind you as you both come down, looking out the window. 

“Of all the things I thought we might do today… this was not on the list. We hardly got your pants off,” you joke.

“Well, we have plenty of time before sunrise.”                  

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts smut #jungkook ficrecs #jungkook ficrec #cigarette burns #4joonkookie #jungkook thirst #jungkook #bts ficrec #bts fic recs #bts ficrecs #bts thirst #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook christmas #holiday smut #fluff #smut

[hornime]

voyeurant | kenma kozume x f!reader

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

warnings: 18+, timeskip!kenma, kinda dubcon, kenma’s unintentionally pervy, male masturbation, poorly written video game content (i tried my best), mutual pining but u both are oblivious

w/c: 1.5k

a/n: yes, the title is a shitty pun of valorant. no, i will not be changing it. also this tiktok about timeskip kenma made me giggle so pls enjoy.

voyeurant: part one ↓ | part two | part three:

“fuck, i hate this map,” kenma grumbled into his headset.

your voiced chimed in his ears. “is it ascent?” you turned to see his face on your screen, pinched in annoyance. “ha, it is ascent. sucks for you.”

“which one are you on? haven?”

“you know it,” you chuckled. “your favorite.”

“i hate you.” he weighed his options, did he really want to play this game? the layout of the world made it irritatingly hard to strategize, and today’s losing streak was making him more agitated than usual. with a sign, he closed the application. “fuck this. i’m gonna go piss.”

“yeah, yeah, you’re such a big baby. and...” you released your mouse, throwing your hands up in triumph, “we just won. at this point, i’m gonna outrank you.” you were joking, of course. kenma wasn’t just a gamer, he was kodzuken, one of japan’s best pro-gamers, and you were just someone that played as a hobby. but it was always fun to tease.

“hmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure you will.” he turned his head to look directly at his webcam, smirking, “in your dreams.”

“ooh, catboy’s getting feisty!” he flinched at the nickname. “go pee so i can beat you at your best.”

he obliged, pulling his headphones off and looping them on the top of his chair. he casually raised his middle finger at you while smoothing out strands of his hair, prompting a series of profanities to escape your mouth, none of which he could hear. he chuckled playfully as you responded with two middle fingers of your own, before moving out of the camera to get to the bathroom.

you and kenma had met in an... interesting way, to say the least. after going moderately viral from lashing out at him for refusing to heal you in a game of overwatch—while he was streaming—the two of you reconciled over a twitter thread and exchanged gamer tags. since then, you’d struck up an easygoing friendship, characterized by almost nightly discord calls and occasional flirting. but we’re just friends, you often reminded yourself. and you were fine, well, mostly fine, with that.

tonight was like any other night: both you and him spending hours in a video chat with nothing better to do than mindlessly play games and bash each other. it was more than enough to strengthen your relationship but fell short of giving you the romantic tension you craved.

with kenma off in the bathroom, you, already bored, spun wildly in your chair. forgetting that your earbuds were still plugged in, the white wire caught on an opened can of coke sitting on your desk, spilling the sugary drink all over your keyboard and the front of your shirt. 

“shit!” you quickly scrambled for paper towels, but the still-connected wire yanked you backwards. in your haste for something to wipe the soda with, the fact that your camera remained on in the video call completely slipped your mind. making the split-second decision that the trip for a towel wasn’t worth it at this point, you quickly whipped off your shirt, dabbing the keys with the part that was still dry. since you were home, you’d gone braless, and your current predicament had you flashing your webcam.

now, kenma had seen a lot of things from your side of the call: he’d seen you get chewed out by your residential advisor for being too loud, you with two sticks of pocky poking out of your mouth like walrus tusks, and you doing random cosplay moves you’d seen on tiktok. what he wasn’t expecting to see, not even in his wildest dreams, was a screenful of your tits, slightly damp from the cola that had seeped through the fabric of your long-gone shirt.

he stopped in his tracks, still out of the frame of his camera, eyes wide and heart racing, desperately trying to calm down and prevent the gradual hardening of his cock in his pants. unable to deny his desires, he continued staring at your plump breasts on his computer, you completely unaware that he could see you.

you quickly threw your soaked top in the laundry basket before throwing on a random sweatshirt and trying to calm your frazzled nerves. you tentatively touched your keyboard, groaning internally when you fingers lightly stuck to the buttons. it’s gonna take forever to clean this, you mourned.

“hey,” kenma mumbled, reappearing on screen and shaking you out of your thoughts.

“hey.” you noticed his flushed expression. “are you okay? you look really red.”

“uh, yeah. i actually uh, i feel kinda sick. so i’m gonna, gonna go.”

“oh, okay.” why’s he acting so weird? “feel better!” you disconnected from the call with a huff, disappointment morphing your face into a pout. well, you thought, better get to cleaning.

kenma, on the other hand, was still, swallowing as the bulge in his boxers became agonizingly hard. though the only thing left on his screen was his reflection staring back at him, the luscious view of your bust was etched in his mind. his hands moved to free his cock, the tip an angry red and smearing pre-cum over the waistband of his underwear. 

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

“fuck,” he whined, slowly stroking up and down. his thighs trembled as he fell back into his chair, mind wandering. he couldn’t stop himself, his thoughts become more and more lewd, fantasizing about how your breasts would bounce as he thrusted into you, how your thighs would wrap warmly around your head as he ate you out, how you’d cry out his name so prettily when he made you squirt around his fingers.

it was all too much, and as the circle he made with his fingers tightened as he reached his tip, he lurched forward, alarmed at how good everything felt just by thinking about you. i can’t cum, i can’t, the small part of his brain that wasn’t completely overtaken with pleasure tried to reason with him. there’s no going back if i—shit—if i cum. she’ll know, somehow, if i—if i cum, i—

the ecstasy kept clouding his judgement and his body worked against his mind as his hand pumped faster and faster while his conscience screamed to stop. his wrist wetly slapped the base of his cock, the sounds of both his hands and his moans getting too loud for comfort, but all he could think about was you. your eyes, your mouth, your chest, your legs, your ass, your pussy. god, he wanted to be in you so badly.

he couldn’t hold back, his insatiable need to cum overriding his senses, and the translucent liquid twitched out of his throbbing cock in spurts, drenching his fist and his balls. “fuck, fuck, fuck. i’m—fuck.”

he collapsed against the back of his chair, chest heaving with the sheer intensity of his orgasm. he combed a hand through his hair, the consequences of his actions now weighing heavily on his shoulders. i’m never gonna be able to look at her in the eyes again, he lamented. how am i ever gonna—damn it. 

the sudden ping of a notification had his eyes raising from the mess on his pants towards his computer screen. 

meanwhile, you were messaging kenma, a little off-put by his sudden radio silence but chalking it all up to his mysterious sickness.

[11:05 PM] you: hey ken! hope u feel better

[11:05 PM] you: if u get the chance u should check out what i added to our minecraft house. its perfect for sick victorian orphans like u

[12:14 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: why arent u responding

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: ok u got me ill tell u

[12:05 PM] you: its a hot tub

[12:05 PM] you: but with soup

[12:05 PM] you: but the soup is lava

[12:05 PM] you: genius right

[12:06 PM] you: anyway get some sleep and feel better <3

[12:06 PM] you: lmk if u wanna play animal crossing

[12:06 PM] you: actually no u should sleep. rest ur eyes and shit

[12:06 PM] you: no animal crossing for u!

[12:06 PM] you: sleep well so i can destroy ur ass in val tmrw

[12:06 PM] you: >:)

he sighed as he read your one-sided ramblings. he really liked you.

and he really wanted to fuck you. lucky for you, you wanted the exact same thing. 

if only kenma knew what you did on the other side of the screen, hands in your undies and his name on your lips...

>> part two

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

#i have never played a game of valorant in my life #for someone thats only watched their friends play i think this is pretty decent #like wtf is ascent idfk #kinky.inky #haikyuu smut #haikyuu! smut #kenma smut #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #kenma x you #kenma x reader #tw.dubcon #kenma

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Chapter 6

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers)  

Rating: M

Words: 2.8K

Warnings: None really

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary:    Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for… A baby. You can plantonically start a    family, right?

A.N: Kinda a filler chapter and I kinda made JJ a bitch in this chapter, oops. Let me know what you think and reply to this chapter or message to be tagged. much love- Cia

Chapter 6: Well, she’s a blob right now, so I hope not

You groaned when you woke up. 

Your head and throat hurt so much. Spencer stirred next to you, sitting up when he saw you moved. He wordlessly hands you a cup of water, which you take graciously. 

“How do you feel?” Spencer asks. 

“Head hurts.” You groan. 

“Yea, a concussion will do that.” He chuckles. 

You look him in the eyes. “The baby?” 

“Is completely fine.” Spencer finishes. “But about that…” 

“What happened?” 

“I’d like to preface this with it’s not my fault.” Spencer explains. “But when the doctor was telling me what happened, he let it slip that the baby was fine… in front of Morgan and Garcia.” 

You wince. “How pissed are they?” 

“They’re more excited than anything but… She is a little mad that we didn’t tell her especially since she knew we were trying.” 

You nod. “I’ll get her a gift this weekend, she’ll get over it. But that means we’re going to have to tell everyone huh?” 

“I made them agree to keep it under wraps until you were ready. It’s your decision.” 

You nod. “I’ll go to Hotch as soon as I’m out of here.” You say. 

“Y/N, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to--” 

“No, you were right. I can’t keep putting the baby at risk because I’m scared. It’s better to just tell him as soon as possible and deal with the repercussions later.” You say. “You don’t have to, but will you come with me? I won’t tell anyone it’s yours if you don’t want me to.” 

Spencer looks at you incredulously. “What? Y/N, I was not going to make you do this alone. We’re a team now. If we tell them, we do it together.” He says, grabbing your hand. 

“Thanks, Spencer.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

--------------------------------------------------------------

You never liked being in Hotch’s office which is why you tried to avoid it all cost. Spencer’s leg bounced nervously as the two of you waited for Hotch to finish his phone call. You tapped his leg to get his attention. Once granted, you gave him a look that read Are you okay or do I need to do this alone? Spencer shakes his head no at you and you lean back. Eventually, Hotch hangs up the phone and levels a look at the two of you. 

“What did the two of you need to meet with me about?” He asks. “If this is another coffee dispute, I don’t want to be involved--” 

“He knew that was my mug but that’s now what we’re here for.” You say. “We’re here because I need to fill out a leave form.” 

Hotch looks at you seemingly more confused than he was before but nods anyway. “What leave form do you need?” 

“Um, maternity.” Hotch’s eyes snap back up at you, widely drifting from you and Spencer. You knew you didn’t have to say it, Hotch was a talented Profiler and has been one for years. “I’m about 3 months now, so I’ll need it around November for 3 months and Spencer will need 1 month of Paternity leave--” 

“Ok, let's back up for a second so I can make sure I’m clear on what’s happening here.” Hotch says, holding up his hands. “You’re pregnant?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

“And Spencer is--” 

“The father, yes.”  

“And you guys are…?” He trails off. 

“Co-Parents.” You say at the same time as Spencer says “Friends.” 

Hotch sighs, pinching his brow together. “Is your previous relationship going to affect how you work together now?” 

You and Spencer look at each other in confusion for a second before realizing exactly what Hotch was saying to you. “Sir, I understand your confusion but there is no previous relationship to worry about. Me and Spencer have never been in any kind of relationship. We just mutually wanted a kid.” You say. 

“It won’t affect our work, sir.” Spencer adds. 

“Well, except for the obvious way.” You say, pointing at your belly. 

Hotch sighs again, before wordlessly handing the both of you a form. “I suggest the two of you find a better way to tell the team than you did me.” 

You and Spencer wince at that before getting up, mumbling ‘yes, sir’. When you’re almost out the door, you hear Hotch call. “Y/N?” 

You turn back, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?” 

“Congratulations.” He says. 

You can’t help the smile that crosses your face. “Thank you, sir.”  

-------------------------------------------------

The two of you decide to wait two more weeks before telling everyone, wanting to find out the gender first. You find out that you’re having a girl and Spencer holds you while crying while the doctor shows you your baby on the Ultrasound screen. 

Your baby. 

The very real human that you and Spencer created was in fact, real and you could see her. 

“Thank you.” He whispers to you, when the two of you leave the office, pictures of your beautiful daughter in hand. “I just never thought I’d get this experience.” 

It’s enough to make the waterworks start again. 

Later, you go into work, lunch for you in Penelope in hand. When you sit the sandwich from her favorite shop in front of her, she says nothing. 

“Aw, come on Pen. You can’t still be mad at me.” 

“Yes, I can be.” She pouts. 

“Look, I’m sorry I kept it from you but I didn’t want to tell anyone until I was sure I was having a healthy baby.” You say, Pen looks a little guilty but still keeps her back towards you. Alright, you think, time to pull out the big guns. “Would you still be mad at me if I let you be first to see the pictures of your goddaughter?” 

That makes Penelope turn towards you with a wide eyed expression. “Goddaughter? As in--” 

“We’re  having a girl.” You say. “And we want you to be the godmother. But only if you want to.” You add. 

Penelope smiles wide before wrapping you in a tight hug. “Of course, I will be! Are you kidding? If something happens to you, someone’s gotta make sure this kid gets into Harvard.” 

You laugh. “Make it UPenn and you’ve got a deal.” 

“You bet! Now, I was promised pictures…?” You smile and hand them over. Penelope coos as she goes through the photos. “Oh, she looks just like you.” 

“Well, she’s a blob right now, so I hope not.”   

Later, you guys get a case, 4 men murdered in New Haven, and you and Penny present the case together. After Hotch calls wheels up, you clear your throat. 

“Actually, if you guys don’t mind waiting for a second, I have something to say.” You say, addressing the larger group. “Some of you already know this but since I’m probably going to start showing more by the time you get back I figure it’s better to tell you now. I’m pregnant, well me and Spencer are. It’s a girl, and she’s due around November.” 

“Woah, are you joking?” Emily says, sitting up fully now. “You and Spencer are having a kid?” You nod and she jumps up to hug you. Which starts a cacophony of hugs and claps on the back in congrats for the both of you from the rest of the team. 

“And you told me there was nothing going on between you and boy wonder.” Emily smirks, when she pulls back from your hug. 

“Believe me when I tell you, she is the only thing happening between me and Spencer. Nothing else.” 

She laughs. “If you say so, kid. But I see the way he looks at you.” She says. You can’t help but to look at Spencer in that moment who is smiling at the congratulations being given to him too. You can’t help but also smile at his warmth. He must feel your eyes on him because he looks up and smiles brightly back at you. Soon, Hotch is congratulating you guys again but directing the team to start getting ready as the Jet will be leaving soon. Spencer walks up to you in that moment. 

“Are you going to be okay while I’m gone?” Spencer asks. 

“Am I ever not?” You counter. Spencer laughs. 

“Call me if anything happens, ok?” 

It was in that moment that you realized just how much of a staple Spencer had become in your life. The idea of him being gone on a case for so long was… actually upsetting you and before you could stop yourself you ask. 

“Can I call you if nothing happens?” You say, instantly regretting how desperate the sentence made you sound. Spencer looks at you confused for a second. “You know what? Nevermind, have fun. Or as fun as murder investigations can get--” 

“Y/N.” He cuts you off, you look up at him and he has a marshmallow soft expression on those honey colored eyes that made you almost melt on the spot. “You can call me whenever you need me. Seriously, ok?” 

You nod at the man. “Ok.” 

--------------------------------------------------------

The team comes back two weeks later when you’re officially in maternity clothes. Which were a lot more comfortable. The only thing you had to worry about was occasionally swatting Penelope’s hand away from your belly. It’s not too long after their return that Penelope is suggesting you guys have a girls night, which you agree to whole-heartedly. You couldn’t drink but you needed to get out the house, you were practically going stir crazy. 

“Alright 3 tequila shots for the grown ups and a mocktail for mama.” Garcia says handing out the drinks, which you gratefully take mumbling a thank you. 

“God, I can’t believe you and Spencer are having a kid.” Emily adds after the group takes their shots. 

“Neither can I sometimes, but I am excited.” You smile. 

“Yea, it’s kind of… shocking.” JJ adds. Your eyes narrow slightly at her tone, something was off but you decided it wasn’t worth mentioning. “I just wished you guys had talked more about it before going through with it.” She shrugs. 

Ok, now you were really confused. “Well, Spencer and I actually talked about it for a long while before actually deciding to get pregnant.” 

“I’m sure you did, I’m just saying I wish you had talked about it more with us.” She adds. 

Your mother used to always tell you no matter how hard you tried growing up, you could never fully hide when you were pissed. Which is probably why Penelope and Emily got weird looks on their face when you said. “Well JJ, I’ll be honest. When I decided I wanted to have a kid with Spencer. I didn’t think discussion needed to be had with anyone other than me and Spencer and on occasion, my doctor because we’re both adults capable of making very adult decisions.” You say, sipping your drink. “What’s your deal with Spencer anyway?” 

She brushes that off. “I just don’t think he’s ready.” 

“Well, I do because he’s an adult who thinks for himself and he told me he was ready. What, do you not think Spencer will be a good dad?” 

She shakes her head. “I know Spencer will be a great dad.” 

“So, you think I’m going to be a bad mother?” You say. JJ says nothing. “Cool, JJ, really cool.” You say, standing up and grabbing your bag. 

“Oh come on, Y/N. I didn’t say that!” She calls. 

“You didn’t have to. Thanks for inviting me, Penny.” You say, clutching your bag and holding the tears that threatened to leave. “I’ll see you guys at work.” 

Leaving the bar, you realize that you were very upset and probably shouldn’t be alone so before you can stop yourself you call him. 

Spencer answers on the second ring. “Hey, what’s wrong? I thought it was girls night.” 

“Can I come over?” You blurt. 

“Here?” Spencer asks. “Yea.” 

“Great.” You say, hanging up. 

The short ride to Spencer’s is filled with the soft sounds of Stevie Nicks playing through your speakers. When you get to the apartment building you bound up the stairs before knocking on the familiar door. You loved Spencer’s work clothes fine enough but if you had to pick a favorite Spencer’s lounge clothes were definitely in the top ten. The man stood in front of you in a pair of gray sweats and graphic t-shirt from a horror movie festival that he had told you he went to every year when you guys were talking about traditions you’d want to carry over to your child. And how he wanted for you guys to go as a family once she was a proper horror movie watching age. He wordlessly steps to the side to let you in the apartment. 

“Hey, what’s up? You never want to come here.” Spencer says, as you settle on his couch. 

“Did I pressure you into this?” You blurt. Spencer looks at you confused. 

“What?” 

“I mean, do you actually want this as much as I do or did I pressure you into this.” 

“What? Of course, I want this. Have I given you any indication that I don’t?” 

“No!” 

“Then, what’s up?” 

“I don’t know. I just, I really wanted our baby and if you weren’t ready then I should’ve thought about it more, asked more but even if you didn’t want it now it’s too late and JJ got in my head and--” 

“Hold on, JJ?” 

“We got into a slight argument at girls night.” You say. 

“And what did she say to you?” 

“That she wishes we talked about it more with them before just having a baby and that she also doesn’t think you’re ready. And she kind of implied I’m going to be a bad mom.” You say, furiously wiping your face as the tears fell from your eyes against your will. “I’m going to be a bad mom.” You repeat. 

Spencer is immediately kneeling in front of you, large hands cradling your face as his thumbs gently wiped the tears from your eyes. “Hey, hey. First, you didn’t pressure me into this. In fact, you gave me time and space to come to my own conclusion and I decided on my own that I wanted to have a child with you. And I came to that conclusion because I know for a fact that you are going to be a great mom. Because I know that there is no one who is going to love this child as much as I will than you. And I know that I am 100% by your side and ready for this, ok? I didn’t ask for a second opinion because I didn’t need one. I knew that I wanted this and that I wanted it with you.” He says, you nod. “Do you need me to talk to her?” 

“No, I have a feeling that’ll only make things worse.” 

“She upset you.” Spencer points out. 

She did but you didn’t want the unnecessary drama that would come with Spencer confronting JJ for you. So you brush it off. “Yesterday, I cried over burnt toast. It’s the hormones.” You say. 

Spencer nods, taking the seat next to you on the couch. “Will watching Mulan make you feel better?” 

“Do you even have to ask that?” 

You’re about halfway through the movie when the thought comes to you. 

“Your lease is up here in two months, right?” You say, turning your attention away from the army singing about their dream girls to the man whose shoulder you had drifted on at some point of the film. 

“Yea.” Spencer nods. 

“Move in with me.” You say. Spencer looks at you for a second like you’ve grown a second head. “I mean, It’s practical, right? I have a house, a room already set up for her, an office I can turn into an extra room for you. It’d be really helpful during the first couple of months. Plus, we wouldn’t have to worry about child-proofing this absolute fire hazard.” You say, gesturing to the books all around you. “And if you decide you don’t want to live there we can find you a new place.” You shrug. 

“You’re serious?” Spencer asks. “You want me around that much?” 

“As a heart attack, I always want you around, Spencer.” You say, before you can stop yourself, look at him with a soft expression.  

“It is practical.” Spencer notes. 

“So, that’s a yes?” You ask. 

“It’s not a no.” Spencer smiles down at you before turning back to the screen. 

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#spencer x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer x y/n #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #bau x reader #bau x y/n #bau

[eatsleepbreathefutbol]

Could you please do a Jadon sancho imagine where they’re like best friends and they’ve dated before but split up so he could carry on with his career and till now they’re still best friends and he’s always surrounded by models but he still wants her something along those lines and you could include your own ideas too x

I like the idea anon :)

April 2 was the day you dreaded for about a year now. You dreaded it because you and Jadon broke up that day. The reason being because you wanted him to continue his career, be able to party and not be tied down by a relationship. Jadon was ok with it at first because you said it was a good idea, and also because he had all these girls throwing themselves at him. You both agreed to stay best friends, since the break up was mutual, and you had moved out of his house into your own apartment.

~A year later~ Jadon had invited you to go to a party that he was throwing at your once shared house. You were excited to go, you hadn't been to a party in exactly a year so obviously you wanted to go. You wore this red off the shoulder dress, it happened to be your favorite dress.

Of course you knew there would be models there, since Jadon is famous and women throw themselves at him. But you weren't feeling insecure because there was a reason you let him go, or you thought.

When you arrived at Jadon's house, the music was blaring and people were dancing already. When you walked into the house you were greeted immediately by Reiss, and he led you to the kitchen so you could make yourself a drink before you greet other people. As you were making your drink, you feel arms wrap around your waist and you knew immediately it was Jadon. He whispered into your ear "When did you get here? I didn't see you walk in!" You chuckled at how secretive he was trying to be, "Well Jadon if I'm being honest, I didn't know where in this house you were at and when i walked in I was greeted by Reiss who brought me to the kitchen to make me a drink. I was going to say hi but i needed liquid courage cause there is so many people here." Jadon started chuckling, kissed your temple.

You put one of your hands on top of his. You both started walking towards his friend group. The boys were excited to see you, Marco and Gio were hugging you and saying they were so happy to see you. While you guys were talking Jadon had his hand in the small of your back, and you were comfortable with it.

All of the models that were there kept glaring at you for the attention Jadon was giving you. He whispered into your ear, ‘Can we talk in private’ and you nodded. He took your hand and led you upstairs, you went into one of the several room his house had. You both sat down on his bed, and he’s staring at you so lovingly. You broke the silence, ‘So love what did you want to talk to me about?’ Jadon looked a little hesitant, licks his lips then looks at you ‘Well I’ve been thinking to myself for a while. I get that we broke up mutually, but I’m starting to think it was a mistake’ and you tried to cut him off, ‘No Y/N, please let me finish this because the alcohol in me is giving me the courage. But I think it was a mistake, because I still love you more than a friend…I still wake up sometimes hoping you were laying here beside me. I still dream about the family we always spoke about having, and I don’t care if you think that it was a good idea for me that you broke up with me but I have been miserable the past year without you as my girlfriend. I might have women throwing themselves at me but none of them are like you…’ You cut him off by taking his face in your hands and kissing him. Jadon didn’t hesitate and kissed you back. After you guys break away, ‘So does that mean we’re back together?’ He asks you, you sweetly smile and nod at him. Jadon gets all smiley and bubbly, then leans into you and kisses you again!

I’m sorry it’s taken a while for me to finish writing, I have had a lot of stuff go on in my life! But i am going to start posting pieces again, and I won’t be going MIA for months like I just did! I hope you guys enjoy this piece like I did :)

Forever Tags:

@inlovewithamess @emwritesfootball

#Jadon Sancho #jadon sancho imagines #jadon sancho imagine #football imagines #football imagine #soccer imagines #soccer imagine #futbol imagines #futbol imagine

[keeper0fthestars]

Tumblr Writers Q&A

Thank you lovely @fromthedeskoftheraven and @songsformonkeys for the tag, your answers are fascinating, i really enjoyed reading them! 💕

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)? None.

2) How many WIPS do you have right now? ooof *hides head in hands* 27 (not counting my notes app)

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? Both!! I have taken requests, I’ve even managed to finish a few!! Altho i am the slowest writer ever and there are requests sitting in my inbox that are a year old. I would love to be able to thrive on requests or prompts but here’s the thing: I write for myself, I write to cope with my own circumstance and I don’t know how to trick my brain into writing for someone else 😅

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? Currently I have 5 requests in my inbox. (My most sincere apologies to dia and flora 😭)

5) How many fandoms do you write for? The Mandalorian - Triple Frontier - Narcos

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for? lotr, the hobbit, marvel, plus others that we won’t discuss ok 😂

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other? Writing reader inserts from second person was new to me when i joined this fandom. I don't use y/n though.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for? None, really!

9) Do you read fics as well as write them? Heck yes. More importantly tho, I leave comments on everything i read. Writing is hard and supporting other writers is how I show my appreciation for what they do.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for? Fluff. Romance. Soft smut. Domesticity.

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)? Fave trope to write: I can’t write without a healthy dose of feelings/comfort/safety. There’s a reason all my fics feature Established Relationships. Throw in a Gruff competent badass who is only soft for their s/o??? I froth. That’s my ultimate jam …but I’m always hungry to read mutual pining, slow burn, mild hurt/comfort, only one bed, idiots to lovers, fake dating, huddling for warmth. Also I love a good italicized oh moment.

12) What do you do to get motivated to write? I’ve been known to write fics based off a single inspo photo/gif.. so to some extent I’m visually motivated, seeing as I have a sideblog dedicated to visual inspiration. Having said that, once I have an idea in place, nothing motivates me more than making a playlist/moodboard - or finding a perfect poem or line of lyrics. Flailing with others in the chat sometimes helps get the words flowing.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? So many. Sci-fi, Historical romance, time travel, oooh also poetry, stuff that I find too intimidating to attempt myself.

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? I’ve never really thought in those terms before tbh.

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction? since highschool

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing? Not at all, actually. Like @songsformonkeys also mentioned, it wasn't until after i had years and years of notebooks filled with fics, that I discovered other people did that too.

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well? I also use AO3.

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”? You can call it whatever you want, I'll still read it.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other? i've only ever been able to publish one-shots, although i have multi-chap ideas and one day I’d love to be able to tackle a proper fic.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? I have sequels and/or prequels planned for a few of my one shots, and I hope to finish writing them. But if we’re talking incomplete wips, yeah, several been abandoned because i got stuck midway through and lost motivation.

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr? Sadly, some of the best fics I’ve had the pleasure of reading on here get little to no recognition. Idk if this is a pet peeve and idk if anyone else relates but I will say it is daunting to post your writing on a platform like this. For an introvert like me, it’s a very ‘nose pressed into the glass’ type of thing - like you’re crashing a party where everyone there is already friends, and I don’t know if that feeing ever goes away, at least for me.

22) Do you write at a particular time of day? I write whenever free time and inspiration collide, which is not as often as i'd like.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence? I'm stealing Raven's answer because same: Definitely silence, I need to hear my thoughts.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing? if I do outline, it's done in my head. Sometimes a single line of conversation spills out first, and I write the whole thing in bits and pieces around that. If I’m very lucky I can stitch it all together into a complete fic.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day? Listen. I am a chronic editor, and I always let it sit for a few days and then come back to it with fresh eyes before i post it. But yes, once I'm happy with it, I almost always upload and post on the spot.

I don’t know who would like a tag or who has not done this yet so feel free to ignore🌸: @mourningbirds1 @hiscyarika @thirstworldproblemss @magpie-to-the-morning @floraandfrost @thosewickedlovelies @qveenbvtch @starlight-starwrites @miraclesabound @lareinadehades

#if you just read all of this I’m so sorry 😅 #writer tag game #can you still call yourself a writer if you have not written anything since november asking for a friend 🥲

[thefanficmonster]

You Never Notice

Sykkuno x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Summary: The center of someone’s world is never aware of their importance even when everyone else is in the know. People are hard to understand, no denying, but if we all spilled our truth like how Y/N admitted her feelings to Sykkuno, mutual understanding would be achieved a lot more easily. JK, she needed an eternity and maybe a thousand pushes. What’s important is the result though, right?

Requested by Anon. You are my first Sykkuno request and I wish I could thank you with a tag. Instead, I’m gonna thank you with a fic in which I put my all. Thank you for the request, hope the final product doesn’t let you down. 🥰

Here we go again. Sykkuno’s love life is brought up. This time it’s more frustrating cause I can’t shout how wrong he is about himself and the effect he has on the people around him. He has no room to speak, he hasn’t experienced what I have - one of your best friends living in your head rent-free because you’re just that whipped by them. That’s right kids, some of us never grow past the middle school crushes - they are a constant for some. That can be a good or a bad thing, it completely depends on how you view it.

Currently, him and Rae are addressing some dating rumors that started spreading about them earlier this week while Felix, Sean and I are kicking each other’s butts in Party Animals. We’re not all playing together, actually, we were all playing different games when we hopped into the call and just grouped together after playing solo got boring. Rae and Sykkuno are playing Among Us on a random server, her being the only person who’s streaming right now. She said she just wanted to clear up the dating rumors cause they were annoying to see popping up on her feed on every social media platform she’s active on.

“It’s ridiculous, really. People just look for online personalities to put in imaginary relationships. Are they that bored? I know quarantine is getting to everyone, but damn“ Rae says, laughing a bit to take the edge off her words but I know she’s bothered by this ordeal more than she’s letting on. I know how much it bothers her when people ship random youtubers and streamers together, even when she’s not involved. 

And I agree. Ever since I started streaming I’ve been shipped with my friends left and right. First Corpse, then Dave, Joel...you name them. It gets kinda gross cause these people are legit like siblings to me. Unlike Rae, though, I don’t waste my breath trying to clear those ‘talks of the net’ up. I don’t know if it’s for better of for worse that I remain silent on the issue when I’m involved but am willing to stand up for my friends when they find themselves in a similar situation. Some people think the reason I don’t share my thoughts is because the rumors are true, but the hint is most often taken, resulting in the ship ending. Well, that ship ending, there’s always a new one popping up. As Rae said, it’s ridiculous.

“Why does everyone think I am ever dating anyone? I’ve already commented on this: no one would date me.“ Sykkuno says through a sigh-like laugh.

“Why are you so sure?“ I blurt out without as much as a second thought

My eyes widen just a bit, just a bit. I’m not too surprised with myself. I am slowly losing control of my raging emotions and I’m afraid of what I’ll turn into when all my restraints snap. A mess, that’s the most likely answer.

“Well....“ Sykkuno trails off, clearly more than a little nervous, “I don’t have a girlfriend right now, and I haven’t had one in a while...Nor has a girl shown any interest to be more than friends with me in what feels like forever.“

“I’m sure you just don’t notice the hints girls drop. We can be pretty subtle.“ I try to sound as nonchalant as possible while I’m still in my panicked animal mode. And by animal I mean a cub. A scared cub that is now showing confidence but will run and hide right afterwards. I silently thank the universe that I’m not streaming right now. I can feel the heat on my neck and cheeks which is pure embarrassment and would have been more than evident on-camera.

“Yeah Y/N’s right, Sykkuno. Girls can be very subtle, but they will always let you know if they like you, even through the smallest of gestures. You gotta keep your eyes open.“ Rae backs me up reassuringly.

“Guys never notice anything.“ I say, rolling my eyes. I feel the pressure lessen thanks to Rae’s involvement in the conversation.

“That’s not true.“ Sean protests, “We pay close attention, especially to girls we are attracted to.“

“Yeah!“ Sykkuno pipes in again, “I’m pretty sure I would notice if a girl was dropping signals that she likes me.“

Now that stings. That legit makes me wince and cringe as though his voice delivered an actual physical hit to my chest and stomach. It’s really unpleasant, painful even.

“You never notice.“ There’s something about this triple opportunity - proving him wrong that he’d catch onto a girl’s signals; proving him wrong that girls aren’t attracted to him; coming clean about the biggest emotional struggle I’ve experienced in recent years; - that snaps my last emotional restraints. I will totally regret this later, but after the regret comes the relief which is 100% worth it. 

“What?“ He sounds very puzzled. I can just about imagine him frowning as he tries to wrap his brain around something even I can’t wrap mine around.

“You say you’d notice a girl’s hints of attraction. OK.“ I nonchalantly throw Felix off the submarine in Party Animals while I keep talking, “Would you notice if a girl purposely doesn’t kill you in Among Us when she’s impostor? Or would you notice that a girl always sends you links to videos she finds funny? Or that she always shares music and movie recommendations with you and you only?“ 

Dead silence ensues. I feel like they have all glitched, considering Sean didn’t even try to put up a fight when I lifted him and threw him in the ocean as I previously did with Felix’s avatar.

Maybe I was a tad too specific and made the whole situation hit a little too close to home for me. 

Sykkuno and I have become really close friends and we chat and play games regularly. As I mentioned, I give him movie and music recommendations and I only recently started acknowledging the fact that I’ve never killed him in Among Us. Natural instinct I guess. In fact, I feel the need for vengeance when he’s killed. I refuse to even vote for him unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Now that I think about it, it’s not his fault he has no clue. I just don’t know how to properly drop hints.  

“Um...I mean, I guess I would notice but I’d never think they are that type of hints.“ He finally replies.

On point there, dear. On damn point.

“What does it take for you to be convinced that a girl is into you?“ Who cares that a bunch of people are about to witness this outpour? It’ll make it more real, yes, but it will also help me believe that it happened so I don’t try to crawl back to the point where return is an option. No return now. You’ve already passed two thirds of the way. The last one will set you and your mind free. 

“The only way I can be sure is if she tells me, really.“ He sounds so nervous and shy, like he’s trying to draw as little attention as possible.

He doesn’t have to worry. I’m about to pull all the attention on me.

“Well in that case....you leave me no other choice.“ My screen displays me as the winner of this round of Party Animals - an easy one considering my friends are glitched in real life. “I like you, Sykkuno. I like you a lot. And I know you will see it from every context except the one its meant to be in so I’ll be even more head-on - I’ve liked you, as more than a friend for quite some time now, but buddy, you can be sooo oblivious sometimes. Anyway...“ Here’s that regret I was talking about, it’s already creeping in. “Don’t feel the need to say it back. I don’t wanna hear it if you don’t mean it. And Rae,“ I can’t help but laugh at the thought, “Sorry for making your chat go crazy. Peace!“

And I disconnect from the Discord call.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?“ I say out loud, staring at my desktop. “The cat’s out of the bag and you can move on now.“

I push myself to get some work done in order to get my mind off the mess I’ve created. I’m afraid of thinking about it, I know I’ll get too upset to do anything with the rest of my day if I do.

Suddenly, just as I’m about to open my email, my phone chimes. My brain doesn’t bother to stop my arm from automatically reaching out and checking the notification. A message.

From Sykkuno.

~ I knew you didn’t suggest me ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for no reason

Me ~ So...?

~ So, I’m not the only oblivious one here, Y/N

Me ~ Wait WHAT?

~ ‘Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist’?

Me ~ Oooohhhh...I see

It takes him a few seconds to reply, the bubble with the three bouncing dots popping up and disappearing a few times now. I just now feel my heart banging against the inside of my ribcage, my pulse echoing in my ears.

He did seem a little too eager for me to watch that movie...

~ So, movie date?

I laugh, wholeheartedly and honestly. Genuine joy running through my veins.

Me ~ So it is.

The grin that is now decorating my features promises to stay there for the rest of the day. I bite my bottom lip at the thought that pops into my head.

Me ~ Phew, I can stop sparing you in Among Us from now on

He sends me three cry-laughing emojis in return, but I don’t need those. I can just imagine him laughing as he usually does with one hand covering his mouth. And here I thought my grin couldn’t grow wider.

 Imagining him happy makes me smile. His happiness makes me happy. He makes me happy.

Even better...

I think the feeling’s mutual.

#sykkuno #sykkuno fanfic #sykkuno fanfiction #sykkuno x reader #sykkuno x y/n #x reader #reader #reader insert #x y/n #y/n #fanfic #fanfiction #among us #requests open #requests #fluff #love #crush #happy

[powdermelonkeg]

Ok we're just mutuals in passing (for now) but you have no idea how happy it makes me to see a Skyward Sword AND Minish Cap lover omg!!! It's always one or the other elsewhere and you've made my day with your tags and theories!

:D I'm so glad! Minish Cap is hugely underrated, and it had some of the best mechanics I've ever played ever! The kinstones, the tiny houses, the puzzle solving...I want a sequel, or a remaster, or something that brings that back!

There's so much more to this room when you can switch sizes!

Since we're on the topic, random far-fetched theory/hope, but since Loftwings aren't around and Skyloft is, what if you could fly place to place and island to island by becoming tiny and riding on a bird?

Paraglider who? I have Mango.

#ask bee #minish cap #skyward sword #zelda #loz #hope you enjoy your stay on my blog!

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

#hehe idk how to tag this #ive spent SO long on this post im so glad its done #follow forever #eden.txt

[potionsprefect]

Not One But Two

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: The baby scan throws them a little surprise

Rating: General Audiences

Category: Fluff

A/N: I wasn’t going to make this a series but after @queencarb asked if there was gonna be one, I couldn’t resist! Thank you girl for the inspiration ❤️

First part here

The morning sun was shining through the windows, lighting up everything in its path. The birds were chirping softly outside the window and inside the large master bedroom, a couple laid contently amongst the duvet.

“Do you reckon we could call in sick and just spend the day in bed?” Victoria asked.

A rich chuckle sounded from near her belly. Her husband had his head on her stomach, stroking her soft skin and pressing kisses to it every so often.

“We could, but then that would look really suspicious when we turn up for our scan.” Ethan replied.

“Who would ever question the Ramsey’s?”

“Anyone who wants to have their privileges revoked.” Ethan shrugged.

“One look from you and they’d be off running. I remember what it was like during my intern year.” Victoria laughed.

“All of them ran, apart from you.” Ethan said turning his face towards her.

“Not even scare mongering from the great Ethan Ramsey himself could make me run away from him.” Victoria smiled, running a hand through his hair.

“And I’m glad you didn’t.” Ethan moved further up her body to press a chaste kiss to her lips. “Because now we’re happily married and you’re growing our beautiful little baby.” Ethan caressed her slightly swollen stomach.

“I never realised how content you’ve become.” Victoria smiled.

“Being with the right woman will do that to a man.” Ethan smiled kissing Victoria, stroking her hair. “Pregnancy suits you.”

“You’re flattering me.”

“It’s not flattery if it’s true. Maybe you should become pregnant all the time.” Ethan ran his thumb across her lips.

“Are you saying I wasn’t well suited before?” Victoria teased.

“I’m saying pregnancy brings out the beauty in you. And you can’t argue with that.” Ethan replied.

“I’ll take your word for it.” Victoria said.

“You better Mrs Ramsey.”

“Of course Mr Ramsey.”

— — — — —

Since they found out she was pregnant, Ethan had limited Victoria’s tasks in the hospital. If there was a trauma, she was only allowed to treat the green and yellow tags. She was exempt from any x rays, scans and infectious patients and was allowed regular breaks.

Victoria had tried to tell Ethan she wasn’t made of glass and could still carry out her normal duties. They agreed to disagree on their opinions on traumas but came to an mutual agreement that Victoria could have regular breaks, particularly because her back and feet were constantly killing her.

“There you are Sienna.” Victoria said heading towards her friend.

“What’s up?”

“I need to run upstairs for something, could you send this to the lab for me?”

“No problem. Fancy lunch later on?”

“Sounds great. I’m sorry I’ve been a bit down lately.”

“You don’t need to apologise! We all have our low moments. Although for you I’m guessing there will be a lot of high ones soon.” Sienna smirked glancing at Victoria’s stomach.

“How did you...?”

“The signs were all there, although I properly suspected when I saw you dashing into the bathroom earlier.” Sienna chuckled.

Victoria stared eyes wide at her friend. Although her morning sickness was not as severe as she expected, she thought she had avoided anyone noticing. Apart from Ethan of course.

“How far along?” Sienna asked quietly, making sure no one was listening.

“I found out last week, I’ve got my appointment in 15 minutes.” Victoria smiled.

“Ahh! I’m so happy for you!” Sienna squealed giving Victoria a hug. “Don’t worry I won’t tell the others.”

“Thanks Si. I’ve gotta head upstairs.” Victoria replied heading off down the hall.

“Good luck!” Sienna smiled.

Victoria headed down the corridor and up to OB where she checked in and waited for her name to be called. She text Ethan telling her where she was but didn’t get a reply.

Another 15 minutes had passed and Ethan still hadn’t turned up. She tried texting him and even calling him but he didn’t pick up. Where was he?

“Victoria? Would you like to come through?” Janice Myers, head of OB called out to her with a smile.

Victoria took one last look down the corridor and then followed Janice into one of the exams rooms.

“So how have you been?” Janice asked as she took a seat at her desk whilst Victoria sat on the exam bed.

“Not too bad. The morning sickness isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’m not throwing up as often as I thought I would.” Victoria replied.

“It’s always different in every case, some women have it bad, others barely have any. I guess you’re lucky.” Janice replied.

“Very lucky.” Victoria chuckled.

“Is Ethan not with you?”

“There must be an emergency downstairs. I’ll find him later.”

“Ok let’s get started.”

Victoria lied down on the bed and lifted up her top as Janice put some of the gel on her stomach. She placed the wand gently to the gel and on the screen flickered a black and white image.

“There we go.” Janice smiled moving the screen so Victoria could see.

Victoria smiled at the screen, her eyes glistening with emotion. She could just make out the tiny figure.

“I’d say you’re about eight weeks, healthy size, everything looks good.” Janice smiled.

“That’s a relief. That’s all I could hope for.” Victoria said.

“Indeed.” Janice said looking at the screen. She suddenly furrowed her brows and looked at the screen more closely.

“What is it?” Victoria asked noticing the change in her demeanour.

“See for yourself.” Janice chuckled slightly pointing to the screen.

Victoria scanned the screen, looking for anything that would’ve caused Janice to take a second look. She then saw it, and her eyes widened in surprise.

“Is that...” Victoria trailed off.

“A second heartbeat.” Janice smiled.

Victoria stared at the tiny little heartbeat then darted her eyes back to the original one. “Wow.”

Janice laughed slightly. “I have to admit, I never believed Ethan would marry, but being the father of twins? Now that is something I can’t wait to see.”

“Double the trouble for the both of us.” Victoria laughed a little. “I thought twins meant the morning sickness would be worse.”

“It is usually but I guess you’re even luckier than you realise. Both babies are looking healthy and are at a decent size. I’ll print out some photos and a sheet of things to look out for over the next few weeks. Are you taking any vitamins?”

“No I was going to pick some up on my way home.”

“I’ll write you a prescription. That way you can avoid any unwanted looks or gossip.” Janice smiled.

“Thank you.” Victoria smiled back.

Victoria headed out the room and back downstairs still shocked from the news that she was having twins. Ethan is going to kick himself that he missed that she thought.

By the end of the year, there wouldn’t be just one baby in their lives, there would be two. The thought of that made her feel giddy with excitement.

Victoria scanned the corridors trying to spot her husband. He wasn’t in any of the filled rooms nor was he by the nurses station. Victoria then decided to head to his office and wait for him there. She fired a quick text to Sienna.

Rain check on lunch? Need to tell Ethan something x

Sienna immediately replied:

No worries, hope the appointment went ok. Just dealt with a massive trauma so would’ve been delayed anyway! X

Victoria headed into Ethan’s office and sat down in his chair. She text Ethan telling him where she was and waited.

Her eyes scanned the room, his office was bare with only a few additions over the years. On his desk was a picture of them at their wedding, smiling at each other as they did their first dance. Next to it was a single photo of Victoria, grinning as she held a drink in her hand.

Victoria smiled at the photos, knowing Ethan would soon be adding a third photo to the collection. Or possibly a fourth if he wanted one photo of each baby.

The sound of the door opening and closing made her look up and there stood Ethan, looking panicked and angry with himself.

“Vic I am so sorry. We had a major trauma come in and when I thought it was over, they just kept rolling in.” Ethan said breathlessly making his way over to her and kissing her forehead as she stood up.

“Ethan it’s fine. I know how stressful it can be working in the ER. It’s ok.” Victoria ran her fingers across the lines of his face, trying to relive some of the tension he was feeling.

“But I missed the scan! Was everything ok?”

“You might want to sit down.” Victoria directed him to the chair. If he heard the news she had to share standing up, he’d probably faint.

“What is it? Is everything ok?” Ethan asked looking up at her.

“See for yourself.” Victoria reached into her pocket and pulled out the scan. She handed it to Ethan.

Ethan directed his eyes between the scan and Victoria unsure what to say. He could feel his heart pounding - whether it was the adrenaline from treating over 30 casualties or from staring at the scan he didn’t know.

Twins.

“Ethan?” Victoria’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“This is...” Ethan trailed off.

“Unexpected?”

“I was going to say amazing.” Ethan smiled.

“That’s not the reaction I had when I first saw them.” Victoria laughed a little. “Double the trouble for us.”

“Even when they’re on their third detention in a week.” Ethan chuckled as he stood up and wrapped his arms around her.

Victoria sighed against his chest as Ethan’s hands ran up and down her back.

“Looks like we’re going to have to buy double of everything.” Victoria looked up at him.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Ethan pulled her in for a kiss, lingering for a few moments before he then pressed a loving kiss to her stomach.

— — — — —

Labour fic up next!

Hope you enjoy this!

Tag list: @ohchoices @openheartfan @queencarb @genevievemd @iemcpbchoices @choicesaddict5 @schnitzelbutterfingers @alina-yol-ramsey @i-bloody-love-drake-walker

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #play choices #pixelberry #fanfic #series #fanfic series #fluff

[saecookie]

Tag 5 or more people that you are thankful were in your 2020, that you’re thankful exists in a world that’s hard to live in. Whether that be through random reblogs on your posts, or people you have had full blown conversations with. Whether it’s just seeing them on your dash, or interacting with them.

Please Spread this love. 2020 has been hard for so SO many of us.

Tagged by @ineffable-yikes and oh god you’re a darling <3. I hope you know that and get a warm and cozy day and all the good things you deserve in your lil corner of the world ! Keep it up, you’re a gem, honestly, and as always, I’m proud of you !

Now let me get into a rant because. BECAUSE. Because I love loving people.

@maddiesup MADDIE ILU. I  cannot express how lucky I feel to be able to just. Kick in your  messages and just ramble or scream or. You know. Ilu ilu.

@gay-impressionist   hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. hhhhhhh. Les meilleures soirées de l’univers  rohlalala. Tellement contente de pouvoir te parler je. Je sais pas quoi  dire. <3 <3  

@megabadbunny my love my beauty my darling I am so very gay for you and your bunnies and your face and the light you shine and hhhh I don’t know how we evolved from tumblr once in a while cutie comments to I’M GONNA BONK YOU IN THE HEAD AND You’RE GONNA FEEL BETTER and I really, really love you and you’re so dear to me.

@sparklingwaterbabie can you believe we got to see each other in 2020 ? It seems so far away----. But what an incredible wonderful moment I had with you, I really really had the time of my life. I’ll def never see a kermit the same way :’).

@gingerteaonthetardis  HHHHHHHHHH oh boi. What can I say ? You’re so. Such a wonderful person ?  And I adore you ? And the way you seem to FEEL things and I vibe so  much with it and and and. You’re so bright. I really really really love  to see you around and listen to you talk about things and. Sending you  cute mushroom stickers. You’re forever linked to cute forest stuff in my  mind now. You’re trapped.

@i-lost-a-flip-flop i love you ??? so much ???? what I can I say ??????? I just do ???? Like, it’s so easy to talk and share and open up and. Yeah. I’m really, really so happy I met you (even if it wasn’t strictly in 2020 but you’ve been a soothing presence all throughout this year so YEAH).

@smallblueandloud honestly same I just. Really really love having you around. You’re spirited and clever and witted and I can just barge in and scream about my feelings and that’s so precious you have no idea. You’re a comforting presence and a safe person.

@galiifreyrose listen I’m not gonna say anything. You’re safe and musically galaxy brain and I feel like I share so much and you’re a new person to me and I’m not coherent but I don’t care. Yo’ure. Everything. 2020 would not have looked this way without you. I fucking love you so much and timezones and geography have never been so punitive. I. Just. Want to hug you and spend time with you and. Just be with you. (Guess I did say something...)

@effervescentdragon ooooh now I know you’re in your exam and I get to write this. Listen Aki. I’m. Beyond grateful that I’ve been able to meet you. And scream with you. And then vibe and share and talk and discover you and. It’s been a very few month, and a very few eventful month, so I guess there’s still a lot of things to be said and a lot of things we could disagree on, but honestly ? I just feel like we match ? And. You told me once “I don’t care, just talk to me about the emotions”. Well that’s this kind of moment, when I don’t have sentences, just emotions. Full of them. I’m sure you’re killing your exam. I send you all the best hugs you like. (I didn’t even start on how many freaking qualities you’re full of but it’s already getting a bit long and sappy...)

@goneadrift always such a pleasure to see you around honestly <3. It’s been a few years now that we’re mutuals and I couldn’t imagine my dash without you. And your fma viewing gave me LIFE.

@demoiselledefortune always a familiar presence on my dash, it would be v weird without you honestly, and I love seeing all those passionate reblog I don’t understand a thing about, like. Really. There’s a whole aesthetic that I love.

@skyler10fic listen Skyler I  absolutely adore you ok ? You’re such a bright spirit and. I really  vibe with everything you say ? haha. ALL THE HUGS TO YOU.

@elialys I’m ? So grateful ? For you ? I don’t know how to express it ? You’re so smart and talented and a good friend and and and. How are you you ? I wish I was able to TALK MORE but you know, stuff. I’m really grateful for you.

@booksandwoollysocks you’re so precious ? And I can’t wait to post this letter ? hhhhhh I’m really impatient. I love everything about what you blog and your opinions and everything. <3

@yellowsuedeshoes I’m shit at talking and I WILL have to try Destiny at one point because there’s no reason we’re the two europeans connected late at night and not making the most of it. I’m so glad I met you and got to talk to you so much in vc !

@melusine0811 Oh wow how my life changed since you messaged me on tumblr haha ! I’ll never thank you enough to show you gratitude. You’re so brave and so strong and I love being around you and don’t ever think I don’t appreciate you to the moon and back whaveter dumb brain says !

@crazyrose912 meeting you was such luck. You’re lovely and caring and strong and I can’t think of someone more peaceful than you. You really are the calm presence around here for me <3.

@cleverlittlejay you’re a gem and even if I’m shit at talking I really love every little message we exchange and fandom we don’t share and I wish I could just come and hug you !

@emjee I like following you so much because I discover SO MANY THINGS thanks to you and I. Just love seeing people being passionnate and. Yeah. So many hugs your way.

@elwenn-dreaming listen I always love seeing all your lil comments about stuff and posts and good providing of lotr meme and I’m sending you all the strenght I think you need to go through these 2 (maybe +) years because they can be good and I really hope they will be for you, you deserve it !!

@lastbluetardis hfsdgdkjfghdfjgflhg. All the love. And the vibing. And the video games. And the reading. And the sharing. And the feelings. I. You know. Still the “how are we the same age you’re so much more EVERYTHING”/”NO YOU” and I really love you and I wish I could just. Be more with you.

@doctorrosetennant oooooh you’re so sweet and precious and I’m so glad I got to meet you this year and we’re able to get each others back. Honestly this year would have been very different if I hadn’t met you all, really <3.

@timeladyofthesith I know we don’t talk much and everything but. I first met you through your writing and it. Really did something to me. And now I know you a little and you’re such a bright and spirited person and I really admire you ? And your cosplaying is gold ? And you’re so funny ? uuuuh we don’t deserve you.

@tardisinateapot meeting you was a gift and I’m grateful I can exist in your orbit and your wise and funny words and. Thanks for your grounding presence. You’re a gem and I love you <3.

@temporary-dysphoria I discovered your writing this years and WOW. It did something to me. And I’m very, very grateful for that, and thank you for your stories and for all your good content and opinions and I’d send you hugs if I knew if you’re comfortable with them, but without that knowledge let’s just say I wish it’s getting better your way !

@naromoreau (typing your @ I just discovered that I’ve always called you naNomoreau.... SORRY) I also discovered your writing this years and it’s so special and I’m so happy I did. Thank you for all your stories <3 <3.

@chocolatequeennk you’re a gem you’re a treasure I feel so safe and seen with you and I hope I can provide something good too and you make me so happy and just. Seeing you everyday. And your smiles. And the bad days. You’re just. hhhhhhhhhhh <3 <3.

@wildchildamandaa you know what ? Meeting you has been a gift. A real true gift because you’re so kind and soft and gentle and funny and adorable and I just want to hang out more because I’m just. Blown away by how cool and great and nice and strong you are. Iluvmuch.

@pellaaearien mgngngnngngn I really adore you and you being so NICE and I really don’t want it to be in the bad way because I know it can be a struggle but you’re really gentle and kind and generous and. Thanks for being around <3.

@sunnibits WELCOME TO TOLKIEN FANDOM you’re so smart and funny and I don’t really know you but you always me smile >w< !

@xyloophones lrehfdgdfkjg I LOVE YOU ? You’RE SO SPECIAL AND PERFECT AND YOU just. Get it when I’m screaming stuff and. I really really love talking to you and you’re such a warm person to be around. All cozy <3.

Other people I’m grateful for ! @tolkien-understands @turtle-pond-stims @finn-shitposts @hinamie @oreliel-from-valinor @charlottemadison42 @cleowho @letters-to-lgbt-kids @obiwanobi @eccleston @smolshoma1 @narootos and I’m forgetting a ton of people but. YEAH.

#reposting it bc the tags didn't work -_- #also grateful for a ton other people (YES YOU) but I'm not gonna go on another rant about non tumblr people because #YEAH #tag game #(a long one) #long post #2020

[flamediel]

About me

ok, so I figure it was finally time for me to make one of these since i’ve been here for a bit and I hate how disorganized tumblr is. Hi, I’m Nadia, I’m 19, and this is my CNCO blog. I’m a mixed black muslim bisexual who uses they/them pronouns and I’m studying law. Other random facts about me are I box, make my own clothes, paddleboard, and love dogs. My aesthetic is all over the place and so is my brain so while typing this out i decided to make a moodboard that’s ✨my aesthetic✨ so here lol:

Was that necessary? no. did I do it anyway? yes. Moving on..

so what will you find on this blog?

Primarily, CNCO. This is a side blog so I tend to stay pretty on brand with the content I post. I tend to answer asks here, be it about fandom tea or random stuff relating to the boys, but when inspiration strikes I’ll write fics, make moodboards, or even pull together random uquizzes and zodiac interpretations no one asked for. I host a lot of events on here too like to celebrate their albums or band anniversaries, so stay tuned for that as well. As you can see we do a little bit of everything here, so feel free to stop by for a chat whenever. 

Where can I find your writing?

All my fics can be found under the ‘#my writing’ tag on my blog, so check them out there! anything tagged minors dni (or cnco smut for older posts) is 18+

What writing do you have coming up?

Chris sex tape smut

Boxdiel smut

Sub!Richard Smut

Zabdiel + Power Play

The boys while you’re pregnant (Minus Chris since it’s already up)

Richard pampering you

a ton of songfics I have half finished

And if you want anything else, I am taking requests! Keep in mind they may take a while though, I tend to write when inspired and I haven’t had the time at all lately with work. Also, if you remember requesting something that isn’t here, it’s because I likely haven’t gotten to starting it. once I do, I’ll add it here. 

Where can I find your moodboards?

These will be under the ‘#cnco moodboard’ tag on my blog! Requests for moodboards are open (and will probably be fulfilled MUCH more quickly). 

UQuizzes?

Which CNCO member are you?

Which CNCO hookup are you?

Where are your CNCO Zodiac interpretations?

I’m only doing full chart readings for the boys once we get their birth times, since I don’t like how inaccurate readings can be without houses and such (ie, Chris’s Sagittarius energy doesn’t make sense until you realize it’s all in the fourth house). That means I’ll be analyzing Joel and then Chris’s birth charts in detail for now, and when we get the rest of the info I may do the others’. This is gonna take a while since these are long and take a ton of research, sorry about that

Joel: Part 1 (part 2 coming soon)

Chris: (TBD)

Management vs record label analysis

You've done some analyses of cncos team from a legal perspective, where are they?

Joel leaving the band timeline/contract renegotiation explanation

Who owns cncos trademark

Why are some of your posts tagged minors dni?

Why didn’t you answer my ask?

personally, I don’t feel comfortable with minors interacting with any explicit content on my blog. I tag it that way for people to be able to blacklist these posts (including adults who don’t want to see them). I know minors look at this content anyway, I’m not dumb, but this gives them the opportunity to be responsible without me having to make this whole blog nsfw, andit also provides a clear warning. Minors I find repeatedly interacting with my NSFW posts are getting blocked. You’re violating my consent and disrespecting the rules I put in place on my blog, and I don’t want you around if you cant understand that.

my inbox is almost always full and it takes me a while to get to stuff! I will though, i promise, and if it takes a while maybe resend it since tumblr doesn’t like to work sometimes. 

Why do certain anons have symbols/emojis?

It’s like a signature so I can tell which anon it is. if you want one just ask!

can you tell me about X cnco thing?

usually, yes. but also, keep in mind I don’t know everything, and most of what I say is my opinion, as with everyone else here. don’t take it too seriously please. I will also sometimes answer asks sarcastically or jokingly and entertain dumb stuff, if you have a problem w that just send smth in about that instead of fighting, no need to get disrespectful over tumblr shit I swear it’s unnecessary. 

Why wont you answer dms?

I am. so so bad at checking dms. so bad. it gives me anxiety and i WILL leave people on read. honestly if you’re not my mom you should not be expecting quick replies from me. if you want to talk more and we’re mutuals, message and ask for my snap. I tend to be more active on there

Why aren’t you following me/liking my posts/in my notes? 

I probably am, this is a side blog, I interact from my main @imbrium-mare​

Any other important notes?

A couple. First, something light. info about me is in my ‘#about me’ tag, and if you care what i look like check the ‘#my face’ tag, I tend to delete those every now and then so you might not find anything.

Secondly, more heavy. Like most active cnco blogs, I’ve dealt with my fair share of “anon” hate. Most of the time, I can figure out who you are pretty easily. Yall aint slick at allll, and I am more than happy to expose anyone who thinks online bullying is okay. casual reminder, using racial and homophobic slurs is not cute. I will not tolerate it, you’ll be blocked. the fact people think this is ok to do over a BOYBAND of all things? tragic.

And finally, since this will now be my permanent pinned post, any events I host or new things I write will be linked in a reblog of this post and pinned, rather than pinning the actual post with it. That way this information is all still accessible. That’s it! have fun, and I hope you enjoy your time here xx

#about me #pinned post

[gabrielbigbang]

Posting Date: March 15  

AUTHORS: @datajana​ and @easypeasybreezy​

ARTIST: @samshine-and-lollipops​

STORY TITLE: A Reason to Stay

BANG SIZE: MegaBang (45k+)

RATING: Explicit

SHIPS: Gabriel/Roger (Driven), past Roger/Original Female Character, past Gabriel/Original Female Characters, past Roger/Original Male Character

TAGS: NO MCD, Canon divergent post s13 supernatural, post canon Driven, POV’s: Gabriel and Roger and Emerson and demon, crossover/portals, angst, past trauma and torture, nightmares, PTSD, pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, Roger likes the finer things in life, Sugar Daddy!Roger, crack humor, dark themes, possession, Gabriel's wings are hurt, blizzards, snow, and sleet, hotel rooms, hot tub, there was only one bed!, misunderstandings from lack of communication, nudity, smut tags: masturbation, anal fingering, mutual handjobs, car sex, road head, blow jobs, come eating, grace as lube, lube, anal sex, barebacking 

SUMMARY: After being brutally stabbed by the alternate reality version of Michael and dying, Gabriel is forcefully pulled from the Empty through a portal into a different universe. Low on grace, he meets up with Roger, who has just finished closing the portal with Emerson. Though it takes a bit of convincing, Roger eventually agrees to help Gabriel get back to his own universe. However, Roger soon finds out that he has a major problem of his own - the curse hasn’t been lifted, he’s failed and the world is going to end because of him. Feeling sympathy towards Roger, Gabriel offers to help, and circumstances lead them on a road trip to Roger’s home in New York. On the way, Roger and Gabriel grow closer as they learn more about each other - their pasts, their traumas, who they really are - and Gabriel finds it harder to leave, and Roger finds it harder to let him go. In the end, the final decision will be made for them by the cause for all their worries: the big bad demon (for lack of a better term) that waits for them near Roger’s childhood home...

Excerpt below the cut...

EXCERPT: Gabriel checked his phone every five minutes. The weather app he’d downloaded showed no change in the forecast from earlier. The thickening clouds in the sky were proof of it as well.

He had no idea what he could say to Roger to make him turn around. For some reason, the human was angry at him. Well, he was a bit miffed himself! He’d blocked the demon from Roger’s dreams, listened to his worries. He was starting to think of him as a friend.

Maybe...Maybe even—

Gabriel sat forward abruptly and stared out the windshield as big, fat flakes of snow appeared in the vehicle’s wake. He darted his eyes about the landscape, seeking out a place where they could pull over for cover. 

“Gabriel, it’s not too far to the next town. I’ll stop there, OK?” Roger said, reducing speed. Gabriel turned to him, his lips thinning to a straight line. “It’s falling slowly, so it shouldn’t get too—”

“Roger!” Gabriel lifted his phone and pointed at it. “It’s supposed to turn to sleet! The roads are going to be impossible to drive on! Not to mention that the passes are gonna be full of snow and ice!”

Roger’s face paled. “If we can get to an exit before then—” His and Gabriel’s eyes widened at the sound of small ice pellets hitting the windshield. “Well, I guess not.”

“Dammit, Roger…” Gabriel moaned. He knew this would happen, and there was absolutely nowhere for them to find shelter. The open fields they were surrounded by had some trees, but that wouldn’t do them any good. They’d have to stay in the car and hope it would keep them warm until the storm blew over.

“We need to pull over and park,” Gabriel said. He unlocked his phone to check the weather again. “The temperature is going to drop some more, so all this sleet is going to turn completely to ice. We won’t be moving for a while after that.”

Roger cursed, slowing down the rental’s speed even more than he had before. “Alright. But where? There’s nothing!”

“We don’t have a choice, Roger. We can’t go forward, and we can’t go back. We just have to stop where we are,” Gabriel said.

“I know that!” Roger snapped. “But there’s nowhere we can park except on the shoulder, and we won’t have protection!”

“You don’t have to yell.”

“I’m not—”

“You know what, Roger?” He’d had enough. “We’re in this predicament because you wouldn’t listen to me. Well, guess what? You’re gonna listen to what I say now. We need to—”

Roger laughed bitterly. “Oh! So now you’re gonna talk?”

Gabriel paused. “What?”

“Don’t act dumb, Gabriel. You know what.” Roger moved his eyes to the side of the road. “Where do you want to stop?”

Narrowing his eyes, Gabriel said, “No, this has been going on all morning. We’re going to talk about it now.”

“No. And like you said, we need to stop, even though you taught me how to drive perfectly in any and all weather.” Roger gave him a scathing glance. “Or so you claim, anyway.”

Oh, so that’s how he wanted to play? Fine. “Maybe your human brain couldn’t absorb it all. It was already apparent that it had difficulties, not even knowing what a parking brake was.”

Roger smirked. “Well this human is the one who has been taking care of your ass ever since you got here. Who bought you the clothes you’re wearing? Who has kept you from going hungry and sleeping on the streets?” He pointed to himself. “Me, that’s who!”

“I never asked you to!”

“As far as you’re concerned, all I’m good for is getting you back to your universe,” Roger said bitterly.

Gabriel swallowed. That...That hurt a little. “I’m helping you, aren’t I?”

“Looks to me like I’m helping you more than you’re helping me!” Roger retorted.

“What exactly is it with you anyway, Roger?” Gabriel said, his hurt turning back to anger and fueling it. If Roger wanted to hit below the belt, then he would too, dammit. “And what's with that fake-ass ‘I’m so brave’ front you use? We all know that you’re scared, that it’s an act."

Roger punched a hand on the dashboard then with absolute calm pulled the SUV to the shoulder of the road. He put it into park and killed the engine before turning to Gabriel. "Oh, that's hilarious,” he said, glaring daggers at him. “You are such a fucking hypocrite, Gabriel. Don't think that I haven't noticed how you use cheesy, two-bit humor to deflect what you don't want to talk about!"

Gabriel’s ire went nearly through the roof. No one had spoken to him like that since Dean Winchester. But it hadn’t cut as bad.

Holding Roger’s burning gaze, Gabriel said the first thing that came to his mind. 

“Fuck. You.”

#Gabriel Big Bang #Supernatural #Driven #Gabriel #Roger #Crossover #Gabriel/Roger (Driven)

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Sixteen

Previous Chapter Here

Warnings: Language, scenes that are NSFW, angst, slightly annoying people

Tags: @kelbabyblue​ @jennmurawski13​

Notes: I am so sorry for being rubbish in posting this. I started writing it weeks ago and then work took over my life. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope this was worth the wait (somewhat).

Chapter Sixteen

“So, what do you want to do now?” Audrey asked, hands firmly planted on the Diner table in front of her. She had the same careful posture and look on her face as when she had to relay bad news to a family. It certainly wasn’t providing much comfort now. 

She tilted her head to one side and offered a soft smile to try and assuage Sarah’s anxiety but it was no use. This kind of information wasn’t deserving of a casual reaction. She’d pretty much dropped a bomb on her friend and she was expected to deal with the fall out. To Audrey’s credit, though, she appeared to be taking it in her stride which was a bit surprising to say the least. 

“Honestly? I have no idea.” Sarah shook her head despondently before her forehead connected with the table. 

Three Days Earlier… 

The convenient thing about being a nurse and working long and tiring hours, Sarah found, was that you almost always had the perfect excuse for getting out of plans. Or not replying to messages you were deliberately avoiding. “Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I lost track of time” quickly becomes an acceptable code for “Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I didn’t have a clue what to say.” 

No one would ever dare call you out on it. 

It had been almost a week since Sarah had arrived home and the questions from her family had yet to subside. For someone quiet and relatively lacking in a desire for attention, people sure did have a vested interest in her whereabouts. They wanted to know about the exam and when she was likely to hear the outcome. They wanted to know what would happen next and whether she could appeal it if she didn’t like the results. They wanted to know whether she would try again or if she was just happy doing what she was doing now, and please can you call your grandmother because she wants to hear about it, too. 

She was exhausted. 

But dealing with those messages was an absolute dream compared to messages Chris was sending her. She could copy and paste generic responses to all of the above but with Chris? That was going to take some more thought. 

Chris: You’re so pretty. I miss your face so much x 

Chris: …..And so many other things x 

Chris: It’s not the same waking up without you x Chris: Do you remember me waking you up last week………? 

Chris: Did you pick up my sunglasses?? I cant find them anywhere…….. 

Chris: Just found them! Duh! 

Chris: Have you seen the Last Week Tonight? I think you’d love this one……. X 

Chris: I’m thinking of getting a dog x 

Chris: Can you just tell me ur OK so I can stop worrying?

After coming home late one evening following a long shift, she found herself face-to-face with the most beautiful array of flowers she had ever seen. Sunflowers, glorious white roses, gerberas, tulips, peonies… Truly, indescribably beautiful. 

“Someone sure is popular.” Shanna called from where she was sat at the dining table. “They got delivered earlier today. I don’t mean to be a bad feminist but you should probably think about putting out for Greg ‘cos if you don’t, you can let him know that I am definitely up for it.” 

Sarah side-eyed her friend and tried to locate the card in amongst the substantial spray. “I can’t remember the last time someone bought me flowers that wasn’t my Dad.” Shanna barked out a laugh as Sarah pulled the card out, recognising the handwriting instantly. 

I really miss you x

Now she felt bad for her lazy response to him earlier that afternoon. The second-hand embarrassment was creeping up on her after she tried to casually allay his concerns with an “All good!! x” and regretted the double exclamation marks. That was bound to give the game away. 

She regarded the flowers standing proudly on ceremony and waiting for her to smile at them in utter joy so they knew they had done their job. They deserved that at least, but all she could manage was a sigh and a somewhat reluctant smile at their glowing beauty. 

“I mean there’s certainly no denying he likes you a lot.” Shanna crept up behind her and narrowly missed Sarah scrunching up the card in her hands. “You don’t buy flowers like this without making your intentions clear.” 

“Who says he has intentions?” Sarah playfully jostled with Shanna. “This isn’t Downton Abbey.” 

“Oh, come on!” Shanna regaled in disbelief, running her fingers over the large, open sunflowers. “You can’t fool me, Bernette. These are statement flowers if ever I saw them. He wants you baaaad.” 

She walked back into the kitchen and Sarah could hear her locate and clang the only two vases they owned in the apartment. Neither of them had much need for vases and even if they did, one thing that made them good flatmates was their mutual distaste for needless crockery lying around the place. Neither appreciated dusting as a chore; it was much easier this way. 

“Fuck. I’ll have to ask Mom to bring one over.” Shanna said. “We’re gonna need more to cope with that.” 

As expected, Chris was pretty proud of himself. She couldn’t deny him that as he saw the flowers blossom in and around her apartment. He had popped by under the premise of annoying his sister for the evening but flirtatious glances across the lounge gave away his true intentions. 

“You should be flattered, I don’t normally do flowers.” He joked when he sidled up next to her in the kitchen, tossing an apple back and forth between his hands. 

“You don’t “normally” do anything.” 

“Not true. I once sent a girl a peace lily that came in that nice, tall glass vase. That big blue thing.” 

“Wasn’t that just to replace the one you smashed at her mom’s place when you were trying to sneak out?” 

Chris froze on the spot, staring at her. “I actually can’t remember now, was it? Scott ordered it for me.” 

Sarah rolled her eyes before continuing to tidy around him, Chris evidently deciding not to make her job any easier by moving out of her way. It was the equivalent of him lazily lifting his feet off the floor while she tried to vacuum underneath. 

“Seriously, though, did you like them?” 

“They’re lovely, thank you." Sarah moved to the other side of the kitchen as she continued to dry and place back some wine glasses in the cupboard. “You really didn’t need to do that. It was kinda hard to explain them away.” 

“What did you say?” He rubbed at the back of his neck, turning serious for a second. 

“I didn’t really say anything. She just assumed they were from Greg.” She leaned against the counter across the room from him. He could make out the worry in her eyes. “Which makes me feel like I’ve lied to her twice.” 

It was hard to sleep that night. Chris had somehow got her to agree to meeting him the next day so they could talk some more but she refrained from agreeing to meet him at his place after work. She knew how that was likely to end and she couldn’t face being with him in that way right now so he had finally relented and agreed to a simple coffee at lunch instead. He was less than pleased when he left and Shanna spent half an hour complaining through the bathroom door about his “issues” as Sarah was trying to clean up before heading to bed. 

“He’s always been an entitled asshole.” She started before ending with a one-two punch of “He’s not happy unless he’s in control” and “I wish for once he would experience being told ‘no’” She wasn’t wrong but she also didn’t need to hear just how right she was in this moment either. 

*

A couple of things happened in relatively quick succession. 

The coffee was every bit as awkward as she knew it would be, only not exactly for the reasons she had anticipated. It was times like this she relished Chris’s ability to have it all figured out and to be able to express himself clearly and succinctly, but she should have known better. As a result, Sarah was left more anxious and unsure of what it was she was feeling. Guilt she figured, not just for the knowledge that she was lying to her best friend but also for leaving the man sat in front of her looking like he had not slept properly in days. 

He cleared his throat and shifted to sit up straighter in his seat. They were sat in the corner of the diner, as always, and barring a couple of people having a relatively animated conversation a few booths away from them – relatives of patients, she figured – it was pretty quiet for this time of the day. 

“So, time to be honest but there was a reason I sent those flowers.” He had the look of someone who had just been told off by a teacher. “I sort of thought you might have seen something but I guess it went away. I think Matt dealt with it OK.” 

Sarah put her cup down and looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“OK, don’t get mad but there may have been a photograph.” He barely looked up as he spoke. “Of us at the hotel.” 

Her eyes widened at him and she was about to panic out loud until she realised where she was. “A photograph?” 

“Well, technically a photo of me and an ‘unidentified female companion’.” He deadpanned making air quotes like it was nothing before finally making eye contact with her. He frowned but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. He looked down at the table again and then back at her when he realised she hadn’t said anything. “Don’t worry. It’s sorted. I explained things. I just figured someone might have put it on social media or something but I guess I owe him one this time, which he’ll love no doubt.” 

“Oh.” She knew it was a pathetic response. “What do you mean you explained things?” 

“It looks like a fan spotted me and took a picture at the right time. For them, obviously, not for me. Or us. A magazine picked it up. You actually look a little blurry so technically it could be anyone.” 

“Unless you know me. It’ll probably be really obvious then.” 

“Well now you don’t need to worry because it’s gone away. We’ll call it one of our nine lives.” He sipped his coffee again, slowly regaining his confidence now that he knew she wasn’t mad with him. She began rubbing her temple, a predictable move for when she was feeling stressed out and he realised he’d crossed a line. “Sorry.” 

“Maybe I should seek a career in espionage. Clearly I can hide in plain sight.” She finally spoke and he smiled softly at her in a way that would unnerve her under certain circumstances but for obvious reasons wasn’t having that same effect right in this moment. 

“Trust me, OK? I know how these things play out and people forget quickly. I’ve done this hundreds of times.” He was about to sip his coffee again until he was met with a sterner look from across the table. “That was supposed to sound reassuring but I, er, misjudged it.” 

“Does Matt know about me?” 

A few seconds of silence passed between them, Chris looking slightly to his left before making eye contact with her and pursing his lips, giving her the answer. 

He leaned in and spoke as quietly as he could manage. “But he won’t say anything. He’s a good guy and he looks out for me.” \

“Yeh, I know.” She nodded. “Just doesn’t feel great at the moment.” 

“You know I would love it if you talked to me about this.” He lowered his head so much he was now practically touching the table with his chin. “I feel like ever since we got back from New York things have been really weird and normally I would think I was overthinking things but I don’t think I am, am I?” 

She turned her cup a few times before she felt his hand connect with hers. She saw how small she looked in his and when she looked back up at him, she was met with his doe-eyed expression. The expression which all you could do was smile back, which she did, and she was glad she did because he seemed to lose some weight from his shoulders at that point. His fingers lightly rubbed across hers and she enjoyed the warmth spreading across her skin and up her forearms. 

“I’m sorry,” She spoke after a minute. “I didn’t mean to cause you any stress.” 

Surprised by her apology, he leaned back in his chair. “You don’t need to apologise to me, Bernette. I get it. It’s strange.” 

“I guess I just didn’t know where things would go after, y’know, everything. I wasn’t sure what to say.” 

“Well, I know where I want things to go but something tells me we’re not on the same page.” 

More silence. 

“Look, I get it, OK? Nothing about this is straight-forward.” He rubbed a hand over his beard and over the back of his hair. “But we’re doing OK, right? I mean, I don’t think this needs to end any time soon. We don’t need to make any rash decisions just yet.” 

“But how do you see this ending?” 

She missed his hands when he pulled them back and let them rest on the table in front of him. “Umm…” 

“Because truthfully, I figured it would have ended as soon as it started. You might have got bored or maybe you got a job and you left for months and we’d just…forget about it.” She shrugged back at him. 

“Forget?” He tried to mask the disbelief creeping into his tone. “I don’t think either of us could forget about this.” 

“But you think about our lives and how different we are and even if we take the family out of the equation, like, it was always going to be tough, right? We would have to figure these things out eventually. It would be naïve to think we could carry on as we have done without feeling guilty and…” 

“I don’t feel guilty. Do you feel guilty?” 

“Well, yeh. From time to time. It’s not so bad when we’re at yours because it feels like it’s out of sight, out of mind, and-” 

“-then we’ll just have to stay at mine more.” He raised his eyebrow at her in an attempt to bring some playfulness back to their conversation. 

“That’s not what I’m getting at.” She shook her head at him. Now it was her time to pull back as her head connected with the headrest. “This isn’t gonna last forever, is it? We need to be more rational.” 

“Well…” 

“And it’s only going to get harder and feel more…stressful.” 

Chris narrowed his eyes at her. “Why now?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, where is this coming from?” he asked. “We seemed to be OK and I thought we had a good time in New York. Then it’s days of near silence and now I think you’re trying to end this but you don’t have the guts to say it out loud.” 

He had her there. She didn’t feel particularly offended or caught off guard by his assumption and he saw that because, truthfully, he’d finally put a name to her thoughts. He wasn’t giving her a way out as such but he was at least addressing the elephant she had planted between them. 

He looked away from her and took in a sharp breath. “Look, I don’t want to have this conversation here, OK? I think we should have taken up my idea and spoken about this later at mine and in private. Will you please just come and see me later?” 

He didn’t give her the softer, more pleading tone she was normally used to when he was trying to make an appeal to her. She wasn’t expecting it given the circumstances but…it would have been nice. How was she going to get through the next few hours of work if she had this struggle to look forward to? 

“Because if you’re gonna dump me, I’d rather have a whiskey in me than whatever crap this is.” He flicked his cup away from him on the table and smoothed his hand over his beard again, still not making eye contact. “I’m gonna go. Just text me when you’re on the way, yeh?” 

So that was that, then.

*

She could have cried, it felt so good. 

She didn’t intend to let things get as far as they did. She was trying to figure out what to say to him. She spent a good portion of time standing outside his front door building up just enough nerve to knock. When she saw him, in a slightly-too-tight sweater, sweatpants hanging loose on his hips, eyes glossy from the alcohol she suspected he had started drinking as soon as he had arrived home, she couldn’t help herself. 

He looked gorgeous. He looked warm and comforting and soft and hot and…all the things that had become so familiar to her now. And when he held his hand out to pull her in, she willingly went to him. 

One thing that struck her as he was entering her over and over again was how tightly he held on to her. After she had finally managed to catch her breath from the onslaught of kisses and touches all over her body. His hands held hers firmly above her head as they fell onto his bed. God knows how they managed to make it that far. 

He hadn’t let her up for air as soon as his lips connected with hers. He pulled her inside his apartment and pushed her towards his bedroom. She knew the layout of his home like the back of her hand, knowing exactly when they passed his kitchen as he dragged her jacket from her shoulders and left it by the table. She felt the curtains in his hallway brush passed her hair and the breeze from the skylight in his bathroom reach the base of her spine, his hands having pushed up her t-shirt and exposed her skin to the brief chill. His arms wrapped around her and held her like he was scared she was going to fall away from his grasp. She can’t remember connecting with anything else after that point; she was focussed solely on the way he was loving her. \

Clumsily, he used to his leg to kick the bedroom open so she wouldn’t bang into it and he got her flat on the bed with minimal effort. He carefully removed clothes until she felt his hot skin smother hers and she realised she made the right decision in just going with it. There was a sweet hint of whiskey to his breath but she didn’t much care. As he looked into her eyes, resting deep inside her, she didn’t much care for anything. This was the power he held over her.

She could tell he was thinking of something to say. Something he had probably practiced in the few hours since they last saw each other but now was coming up short. She instinctively placed her hand gently over his mouth, an acknowledgement of sorts, and asked him to move again, slower this time as he made sure she could feel all of him moving inside her. 

She was on the edge of her orgasm for a long time. His breathing grew laboured, his hot breath fanning over her face and surrounding her before, without warning, he shifted them both in one fluid move so she was lying on top of him. 

“Ride me,” he whispered, a softness belying his request, and she complied.

She gripped at his upper arms so they would hold her weight as she moved purposefully on top of him. It was bliss. She couldn’t look away from him as he struggled to keep his eyes open, taking in everything she was giving him. They had experienced a few moments like this, moments that felt so tender if it wasn’t for the way his hands were gripping her hips to keep her going. 

After they had both come together, she collapsed down over him, her head resting over the top of his chest, him still inside her. She felt sure she had accidently bumped his chin but couldn’t quite manage the energy to vocalise an apology. He wrapped his arms securely around her to hold her in place when he thought she would try and move away from him. They’d slept like this in New York and he had decided he liked it more than the alternative. 

“If that’s the last time we do this, at least we went out on a high.” he sighed. 

“True.” She replied, equally as breathless.

He turned his head to look down at her, stroking a hand over her hair and the side of her face. “It doesn’t feel fair, though. Life’s gonna be a little bit shitter without you to look forward to.” 

“We’ll still see each other. We’ll find a way to make it work.” She shifted her legs from off his before turning slightly to take the rest of her body away from his and he reluctantly let her go. 

“Do you think we can?” He asked as he stared up at the ceiling. He already knew the answer in his mind but he wanted to hear her try and convince him. 

“We have to.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” 

She sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across her forehead, letting it rest it in her hair. “She’s my best friend. You guys are my family. We have to at least try.” 

Chris turned to look at her just in time to see a tear form in her eyes. She gently blinked and sniffed it away not realising he had already seen. 

“You’re gonna be a hard act to follow, Bernette.”

*

“So you slept with him again?” Audrey worried. 

Sarah nodded carefully, holding one hand in the other. “I know, I know…but when I saw him I just couldn’t help it. I couldn’t pull away from him, it’s like he-” 

“Oh honey, listen, I get it. Completely.” Audrey’s eyes widened and she had to stop herself laughing. “I can imagine he’s been very supportive to you with everything that’s been going on but I think when all is said and done, maybe you both needed this?” 

“I wish it was that simple, Audrey. It’s not just the two of us that needs to consider things. Y’know, Shan actually apologised to me, saying she’d been a bad friend and that she would try to be more supportive from now on and…it hit me. It just knocked me for six that I’ve betrayed her completely and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how to go back.” 

“It’s obvious this isn’t just sex. I mean, he drove to see you in New York and fucking…” She waved her hand around at nothing in particular. “…fucking tested you on fucking blood diseases and ECGs. Michael doesn’t even do that and I fucking married that guy! Come on, Sarah. If this was just sex, it wouldn’t be an issue, would it? You’d be able to close the book and move on. End of story. The only reason this is causing you strife is because you have feelings for each other. And very serious ones at that I might add.” 

“Ah well, that’s easy. You don’t go back. You don’t just forget the last few months. What’s done is done now and maybe there’s a better way out of this.”

“How?”

“Oh Sarah, I love you but you really are friggin’ naïve sometimes.” Audrey pointedly rolled her eyes for the tenth time since they sat down. It wasn’t something Sarah was appreciating right now, this feeling that she was continuously missing the damn point. 

If this was Oprah, the audience would be clapping and whooping loudly right now and Audrey would do her finger-snap that she reserved for drunken arguments in bars with ladies that pushed in line for the toilets. Instead, she took a sip from her sparkling water and raised an eyebrow at her, content in her response. Your move, she was saying. 

Sarah rubbed her eyes and painfully pulled at the skin on her eyelids. “I should have told you about this sooner. I’m sorry, Audrey. I’m sorry I’m landing this on your now.” 

“Well, while we’re being honest, I guess I should tell you that I kind of already knew.” 

Sarah looked at her incredulously. Audrey didn’t bat an eye and just sat looking back at her. 

“How long? When did you…?” 

“It’s not every day a movie star wanders into the reception of a crumbling ER department.” She said, matter-of-factly. “Plus, I saw you both outside the diner. Aaand I’m guessing the accident you had recently was because of him as well?” 

Sarah awkwardly bit at her bottom lip. She didn’t need to confirm anything; Audrey knew full well. She was astute as hell and while it didn’t feel like it right in this moment, Sarah was quietly relieved. 

“What do I do, Audrey?” 

She sipped her water again. “If you insist on being serious about this, you can’t let yourself be in a room with him alone. You know that much, hun. The rest is day by day. Maybe he’ll make it easy on you.” 

She nodded in understanding. Audrey took that at face value, giving her a sympathetic smile in return while mentally making a bet with herself about how well things would turn out. 

*

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