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thepringlesofblood · 3 months

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the summoning choreography chart

lads the autism got me again. we're in npmd lockdown.

I finally managed to figure out which little 'dance' belongs to each Lord In Black in "The Summoning" bc its hard to tell and it was bugging me. here's a vid for reference.

wiggly - space invaders lookin shit probably meant to be emblematic of his mouth tentacles (0:58, 1:52)

nibbly - licks his lollipop - when others do this they mime licking their hand or any other prop they're holding (1:06, 1:15)

blinky - makes a little triangle w his fingers and looks through it (when pokey does this he looks through his mask) in a sweeping left to right motion (his left). (1:12, 4:53)

tinky - both arms out front and then both arms back cross-country skiing vibes (4:58)

pokey - alternates one arm up one arm down giving drama, michael jackson, disco vibes (1:01, 1:09, 1:19, 3:01)

they each start 'out of the depths of hell and back' doing their own dance and then switch around doing each others dances until 'you summon us once, you summon us twice'

when I compared it to the digital ticket version and I was able to determine the exact order of each Lord's choreography

so i made a chart for yall who wanna learn the summoning choreography under the cut.

i need to sleep

glossary of dance moves and the shorthand i used for them.

im not a choreographer. i am bad at describing how people move in space. so. I used timestamps from the reference video from before. please god do not follow my mediocre descriptions - watch the people in the video do it and copy them.

W - Wiggly (0:58, 1:52)

N - Nibbly (1:06, 1:15)

B - Blinky (1:12, 4:53)

T - Tinky (4:58)

P - Pokey (1:01, 1:09, 1:19, 3:01)

SS - shoulder shimmy (1:21, 4:05, 5:12) (the lords in black-ah, the lords in black-ah)

JN - jerky nod (1:25, 2:26, 5:06) (the devil has won it can't be undone)

KK - karate kid (wax on/wax off) (2:29)

KKT - karate kid tree edition - there’s one wax on for each side and then they do a thing in the middle that looks kinda like a tree. Idk how else to describe it thats why i add timestamps. (5:00)

WW - whatever we want (2:57)

TR - tra la la la (the skip they do on Stephanie has got a gun) (4:31) (it's hard to see in this version, i highly recommend checking out the digital ticket version if possible. they show this move first in the proshot bc they focus entirely on steph for the next line, but it does go second in order behind KK - you can see jon start to do KK at the transition into chunk 5 in the ref video, and at the end of the chunk he's bent forward bc he just got done doing the bowing part at the end of TR (you can see pokey doing that like 3 seconds earlier after nibbly does the skipping part)

i divided the song into chunks based on when the singing/dancing starts & stops.

Chunk 1 (0:58-1:31)

Chunk 2 (1:52-2:00)

Chunk 3 (2:26-2:32)

Chunk 4 (2:57-3:04)

(they don't dance on 'we don't give a shit about your phone' but it's b/w these two chunks in case you're interested)

Chunk 5 (4:31-4:37)

Chunk 6 (4:53-end)

The dance changes every two lines-ish, and each time they all change together. they all do the same thing for chunks 3-5 so I only included it on the first one (Pokey)

each lord in black does each move a lil differently so don't sweat if you can't do it the exact same way as the one (1) example I was able to find of x move in the proshot lol

Pokey Chunk 1

KKT

Chunk 2

Chunk 3

Chunk 4

Chunk 5 (Stephanie has got a gun)

Chunk 6

KKT

Nibbly Chunk 1

KKT

Chunk 2

3-5 are the same Chunk 6

KKT

Wiggly Chunk 1

KKT

Chunk 2

3-5 same

Chunk 6

KKT

Blinky Chunk 1

KKT

Chunk 2

3-5 same

Chunk 6

KKT

Tinky (curt ATE in this role lets be real)

Chunk 1

KKT

Chunk 2

3-5 same

Chunk 6

P (ooh a break w tradition rip nibbly tho)

KKT

#npmd #original post #starkid

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katanadepapel · 6 months

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TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM

💙 BLUE HEART 💙

Chapter 3- I'm lost in my mind

‼️ Attention! This text contains strong language‼️

Leo’s POV 💙

Entering the classroom, April and I sat together at desks, since the history room has one of those long desks with two chairs, unlike the art room, where the chairs are individual.

I placed my materials on my desk, preparing myself in case the history teacher arrived now. When my notebook and pencil case were on the table, I supported my face with my right hand, giving a small smile as I laughed with April, who was also watching TikTok videos waiting.

Like I said, it's not her, it's just... when I look at her I remember a little bit of graduation, but as we are friends, I try my best not to take my frustration out on her or anyone else.

Coming from the back of the room, a boy had crumpled up a paper ball and thrown it, and I felt the ball hit the back of my head. I didn't like it, but I ignored it, especially because I thought it wasn't worth arguing with someone childish over a little piece of paper.

“There Yoda! Think fast!" The same kid says the same thing, repeats the act and hits the back of my head again.

Yoda, are you serious?!

And the worst thing is that his friends laugh at his nonsense. I again ignore his childishness, I did nothing but close my eyes, take a deep breath and tap the tips of my 6 fingers on my desk

which is something that calms me down a lot.

“Oh Yoda, you don’t know how to defend yourself? Do you need a girl for this?” Says one of Noah's little friends.

“DAMN NOAH, will you stop picking on my friend and being ridiculous?” April says angrily, obviously fed up with that attitude.

Friend

“Sorry April O’Hero! Very sorry!" Noah says, raising his hands in surrender, even in mockery, and it wasn't really worth it because the assholes kept laughing and making fun.

Tell me what they are doing wasting time at school? You don't want to study, stay at home! Or loitering on the street! Because there are still young people in the 21st century like me and April who want to be someone better in life!

I was upset with the nicknames and the paper money, and this isn't the first time these things have happened to me, but I was even more upset with myself, why didn't I defend myself? Why didn't I say anything? In addition to being boring, I'm scared!

My mind returns to reality again when the teacher arrives, serious as always, it didn't take long until he picked up the whiteboard pen and started writing on the board, and with my notebook already on the table, I started writing.

#I'MPREPARED!

*A while later*

April and I separated, she went to her class, and I was free at the moment, so I walked down the halls, thinking, and on the way I saw four boys who were between a board with lists of student clubs and the door of the club. of theater, it's obvious that they are theater students, because they were laughing and acting out their... characters?

Okay, that was crazy, I watched strangely from afar until they left acting in the most abnormal way anyone has ever seen, are actors like that?

I stopped in front of the board, there were several lists of different types of clubs, chess club, French club, mime club, anime club...? OK? This one goes to Donnie.

Will I join a club? I asked doubtfully, tapping my fingers on my thighs.

Staring at the board for a few seconds, I jumped in fright when a hand slammed a sheet of paper onto the board.

*POW*

“OH SHIT!” I screamed.

I turned around very scared and saw that it was...

“Naomi?!” I asked in amazement with my hand on my heart and with wide eyes, in which I could feel it giving about 120 beats per second.

“Hey Leon! Scared, right?” She says finishing placing the tacks attaching the list to the club board.

“Nami, Don’t ever scare me like that again, that wasn’t funny!” I said irritably, pointing at her and breathing tirelessly.

"Why? Scaring you is so fun!” Naomi turns to me with a sideways smile, with one eyebrow raised, she supports herself against the wall with her hand, and the other rests on her waist.

That smile again, which made me even angrier, I crossed my arms and glared at that poker face.

“And annoy you too!” She finishes by lightly touching my nose with her index finger before returning to admire the painting from afar, with both hands on her hips, the paper now pinned down.

I smiled and shook my head, looking at that crazy woman, but my smile didn't last long when I saw a beautiful young couple in the background, they were hugging each other and laughing nonstop.

I watched them kiss and walk away, they looked so...happy.

*Plays Adele- Hello*

🎵Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet🎶

I hear the music and look to my right side and see Naomi with her cell phone held close to my ear.

"sour grapes" I hear Naomi whisper next to me seeing the same thing as me.

Annoyed, I roll my eyes, take the cell phone from his hands, turn off the music and leave dissatisfied.

“Leon, give me my cell phone back!!!” She says running to catch up to me.

*Three hours later*

Classes were over, the guys and I had said goodbye to the girls and gone home, the guys were talking about how amazing their people are, and I was unhappy again.

You know that phase when you're always thoughtful, yeah, it's torture, even more so if the reflection is on words and unwanted events in life, in my case it was bullying, friend zone and loneliness.

It was 16:30 p.m., what I wanted most was to forget it, but I couldn't, I couldn't go out, so I lay down on my bed wanting to be alone.

I closed my eyes for ten seconds and felt a vibration, I knew it was my cell phone that was under the pillow so I picked it up and saw that Naomi had sent me messages.

MIMI: HEY, WHAT'S UP LEON ARDO, how are you?☺️😁

MIMI: SRY for making fun of you earlier today, I thought you were over it😔😔😔

MIMI: SOOOORRRYYY!!!😭😭😭😭😭

😭

I’m J/K!!!!!

🥺

👉👈

Even though I was upset, I couldn't help but laugh at the amount of emojis this girl sent, it wasn't actually her fault.

Leo: It's okay mimi, it wasn't your fault.😊

Leo: I knew you were just trying to cheer me up, but in reality, I wasn't in the mood☁️ ☀️

NAMI: I noticed, these last few weeks you've been more silent,🤐😔🫥 sad and isolated, Leon, do you want to talk about it?

NAMI: I'm worried.😟

WORRIED?

She was always so attentive to me.

I thought about not saying anything, and saying that everything is fine, but that would only make the problems worse, and she was listening to me, especially since she is not a pushover, I can trust her, but with the cell phone?

Leo: Well, yes😔

I wrote, sent, and rested my cell phone on my cravat, waiting for her message, when I felt a vibration again, I lifted my cell phone and read what she wrote.

NAMI: Meet me on the terrace of my apartment, face-to-face it's better.😊

My face heated up a little after the message she sent. Face-to-face? Does she want to talk to me? OK, let's go.

Leo: Okay! I'll be there. 😄😊

I smiled at the message I sent her, and i got out of bed, put on some teal sweatpants, a white blouse with a Snoopy print on it, and a navy blue sweatshirt.

“Where are you going Leo?” asks Mikey, curious, lying on his bed playing Free fire on his cell phone, while Donnie with headphones was looking at me also working on his notebook and Raph sitting on his bed mopping, cleaning his Sai.

“I'm going – I stopped to think of the ideal excuse – to go out, to patrol” What a great excuse I gave, I'm a jerk!

“Wearing sweatshirt?” Donnie says.

“Yeah, so I don’t… feel cold!” He said giving a fake smile hoping they would believe it.

Everyone looked at each other and looked at me even more suspiciously.

“So, I’m going, bye little brothers!” I said, turning me to leave, when I felt my cell phone vibrating again. Raph quickly takes my cell phone from my back pocket, I try to get my phone back but unfortunately Raph is stronger than me and stops me, while reading Naomi's message.

NAMI: Meet me on the terrace of my apartment, face-to-face it's better.😊

Leo: Okay. I'll be there. 😄😊

NAMI: See you there then ✌️ 😊💙

He laughs, showing the screen to Mikey and Donnie who burst out laughing along with Raph, I was angry at that.

“What a nothing patrol! He’s going on a date with Naomi!” Raph says while laughing.

“Mind your own business Raphael, beat it!” I screamed trying to get my phone back.

“Naomi, my precious little angel!” Donnie says imitating my voice.

"Oh Naomi, my beautiful princess, my love, kiss me!" Mikey says, imitating my voice too, but this time he's pouting, gesturing kisses, and then turning his back, running his hands up and down the sides of his hips as if he's making out with someone.

"Uuuuhh, there's someone in love with Naomi!" Raph says with his arms crossed, waggles his eyebrows.

Everyone was laughing at the jokes, I stood still and my face became super red with embarrassment, while I saw their gestures.

"Wow man, first it was April, now you have a crush on Naomi?!" Donnie asks between laughs.

"He can't meet a woman and he already falls in love!" Mikey says.

“And then he says she’s his ‘best friend’.” Raph speaks.

"Shut up, I'm not in love with Naomi, and yes, we're just friends and nothing more, I'm just going to talk to her in person, and it's not a date, what the fuck!" I responded with arms crossed, took my cell phone from Raphael's hand and left, furious with that.

My day started off horrible, and my brothers don't help at all, they never respect me!

I prefer to vent to Naomi a thousand times, because she is not only a great listener, but she is intelligent and even though she makes fun of me, she respects me, very different from my brothers, and we also have a lot of things in common.

I left through the manhole and went to Naomi's apartment where she was waiting for me.

#mutant mayhem leo #mutant mayhem april #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem raph #mutant mayhem mikey #mutant mayhem donnie #tmnt mm #naomimendes #namimendes #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #writing #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt oc

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obscureoperations · 2 years

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them w/an s/o apologizing for being a pathetic waste of time <3

Noooo! 🥺😭Mkay here goes..

Martin:

It was rare that Martin got to witness you in such a way, usually you were the beacon of positivity. It was one of the things that first attracted him to you..your ability to light up a room. You balanced each other out perfectly, you offset his somber demeanor. He found himself starting to smile and laugh more from the very day that he met you.

But this was something different entirely, the young man had no idea what to do. You seemed to grow progressively somber and withdrawn over the past few days. He found you sitting at the edge of the windowsill around two thirty in the afternoon. He had gotten off work early and was surprised to see your car in the driveway. He was so excited to come in and see you.

He watched you for a moment from the doorframe, with your head in your hands. What was wrong. The moment he heard you sniffle, he's instantly at your side.. you were still startled to see him. Wiping at your eyes, you try your best to offer a cheery smile. Martin was having none of it. Wiping at your cheeks leaning in to kiss your forehead.

"Y/n?"

"I-Im sorry..."

He was extremely confused. He was used to being the one to dish out apologies. With a sigh, he leans in pressing his forehead against yours.

"Sorry for what love?"

A woosh of air escapes your lungs and Martin pulls you close.

"F-for being such a waste of space."

He was baffled, honestly at a loss for words. What did you mean a waste of space? You were the most important person in the world to him, surely you knew that.

"Don't..y/n.."

More tears begin to stream down your cheeks , and st as qickly Martin wipes them away.

"Don't ever say that. I--I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you."

Whiteface:

The past few months sped by in a blur, the mime was the happiest he had ever been. To think the two of you met completely by accident when he spotted your bike at the side of the road. The gang pulled over instantly when they saw you crumpled down on the pavement. The mirror of your bike was completely shattered laying a few feet to the left.

Needless to say they came to a complete still and alerted the medic, Whiteface had no idea what was going on. Carefully peering out the side of the traveling tent, he finally realized there was an accident. Not one to be able to stomach blood and gore, the slender sprite stayed in the tent. Oddly anxious, he found himself praying that this stranger would be alright.

Days pass and apparently they decided to scoop you up and take you to your actual destination. They didn't mind, Billy had officially taken the crown of another city, so for the most part the crew was just celebrating the win. He liked to stay in the tent with Merlin as he tends to your wounds and brings you sacred offerings. Things that would help you heal, Small satchels filled with various powders.

He grew to really enjoy your presence and for the most part, you seemed to like the company. You always made a point to apologize for being such an inconvenience.. The mime tried his best to assure that was not the case. Personal improvisational shows, juggling various objects he fond in the room. The sound of your laughter was msic to his ears--it was rare that he got to get this close to his audience.

As time passes, the mime finds himself liking you more than he actually should. The moment he arose, he couldn't wait to get to your bunker. He wanted to see how well Merlin's magic was working. You seemed to grow stronger by the day, and it excited him--but at the same time left him with a sense of dread. You were gonna leave eventually. That much could have been expected, but the mime really didn’t think about that. Too wrapped up in basking in your presence-- it surprised him to find you quietly sniffling in the corner of the room one morning.

The moment, he unzip the tent you appear startled, quickly wiping at your eyes. His first thought was that you were in pain, and contemplated calling for Merlin. You try your best to play it off. “Mornin’ sunshine..” That was the nickname you officially gave him. He was having none of it.. the sprite eases his way into the tent, clasping it behind him, before rushing to your side.

In an attempt to meet your gaze, you glance away even as he moves to cup your cheeks. Wiping the stray tears away, his heart hammers against his ribs like a caged bird. This was the closest he’s ever been to you. Actually touching you in a way not merely in passing. He hated seeing you in pain. What happened? Whiteface tries his best to get you to look at him.

“I’m sorry.” you finally whisper. At this point he was completely baffled. He settles on lightly pressing his forehead against yours, silently hoping that you’d continue to speak.

“I’m sorry for being such a waste of space..”

Where on earth was this coming from.. did someone say something? The wheels begin to spin in his mind. All of the gang, himself included were happy to have you along for the ride. The more the merrier. You told such funny stories from your travels, if anything you seemed to bring new life to the crew. A solo cyclist.. none of them could fathom such a thing.

A few more tears spill which you promptly wipe away, he could tell you were growing increasingly embarrassed.

“I’m healing up now.. I should probably try to work on my bik-”

In an instant, His lips are on yours, just lightly..as if testing the waters. You can feel his heartbeat hammering against his ribs..he was so nervous. But why?

You draw him close as you deepen the kiss

Abe:

Sweetness was not in the realm of Abe’s vocabulary, something seemed to switch over the day that he met you. Shivering, curled away at the furthest corner of the kennel--repulsed at the sound of his voice. He had nearly beaten his brother to a bloody pulp the moment he had the audacity to slap you. you were his. No harvest, no offerings. You were going to stay in that house with him. You were going to love him eventually.

Abe left Luke stalking off to his room with a broken nose and quite a few bruises--at this point he didn’t really care. The hose was empty, Luke had gone off to take out his aggression, Cynthia left to collect some herbs. He could hear you scurrying around in the kennel and decided it was time for you to eat.

Taking his time to heat up a can of soup on the gas stove, Abe begins rummaging through the cabinets. In search of garlic powder, black pepper, anything that would make the meal in itself all the more rewarding. With a sigh, he carries the steaming bowl over to the kennel, only to find you huddled up at the farthest corner of the cage.

“Pookie!” He whistles, kicking at the kennel causing you to wince and cover your ears. So cute. He loosens a few buttons on his shirt before easing the steaming bowl into the cage.

“You need to eat darlin’“

You practically convulse, you had no idea when he slipped open the locks. You needed to escape but the warm savoury scent began to overwhelm you. Plain chicken sop the way your dad used to make. The scent was both comforting and completely nauseating. More tears begin to spill. Incoherent words as you try and convince him to let you go. Not good for the harvest. You weren’t a virgin. Yo had so many impurities in your system.

“I-’m just-- a waste of space.. please just let me go..”

You weren’t a waste of anything. You were his chance at a semblance or normality.

Abe found himself leaning in reaching for the lapel of your shirt. He presses his face to your neck inhaling your scent.

“You’re not a waste of nothin’ sweetheart. I’ll see if I can get you strong enough to run away from me.”

#martin 1977 #martin 1978 #martin/you #knightriders whiteface #whiteface/you #midnight 1982 #abe/you #completely unedited ngl #whoops

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thedrag0nking · 2 years

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2:41 A.M.

Orga and Kogasa were sleeping easy in their apartment until the girl had woken up to the noise outside. Once Orga had stared outside from the window what she saw were them the gensokyo defense force deployed by the maquis corporation to hunt Orga and to take her in alive. The entire city is put under the lockdown as GDF march into the streets of Miyako town and the entire city.

" Attention citizens please remain calm for the Gensokyo defense force has everything under control remain in your homes and continue on with your business. The city is now under heavy lockdown for we have a rogue neo complex organism on the loose. "

The two now are in horrible trouble as she rush over to the sleeping umbrella yokai on the couch shaking her as she's now scared for her life now more than ever as the GDF is now hunting her down and they can't leave the city now as it's all full lockdown.

" K-KOGASA...KOGASA WAKE UP! "

The umbrella yokai starting waking up just to see Orga-san in a state of panic thankfully she knew something is wrong quick when she gave that look.

" W-what's going on Orga...? "

" T-the window...they came....! "

Kogasa got up immediately rushing over to the window and her heart immediately sank as she now realized the horrible situation the two are in now. The umbrella yokai blames herself because she didn't realized that she bringing Orga here to the city just to explore was the worst mistake of her life.

" Ahh fuck me! They REALLY are hunting you down! "

Orga began sobbing blaming herself for the endangerment of both of them as she cover her head, tears in her eyes.

" This is all my fault Kogasa! I-I put us in so much danger right now! I don't know what to do! "

Kogasa placed both of her hands on both of her shoulders comforting her while thinking of a plan to get out of this alive and she just choose the perfect yet suicidal plan that she goes through that plan in numerous cases of her life.

" Orga-san, it's okay we're in this together now it ain't your fault, it's mime but I got an idea... "

" W-what...? "

" We go out there, kick ass, take names and survive till we get out of this shit hole of a city... "

" WHAT?! A-ARE YOU CRAZY...THEY'LL KILL US! "

#muse: Orga #||| the dragon fish |||#The mass lockdown #hang in there orga san

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k4saneterritory · 9 months

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Disability pride ask game : n3

3- what, if any, disability aids do you use? (mobility aids, sensory aids, braces, communicative devices, IVs, etc. meds also count here). do you customize them/their containers/outsides?

umm i have a wrist brace for the hypermobility, a walking stick i use infrequently and a load of pipe dreams about more hardcore aids (considering i'm scared of the reaction people have to me using the ones i've got already .... yeaaaa).

when my voice goes (situational mutism) i tend to rely on my phone or paper, or just miming.

i have my adhd/ anxiety meds too + melotonin to sleep at night. and a metric fuckload of diff painkillers.

(went to an anime con. burned through a whole blister pack of ibuprofin. had to take it easy w painkillers for awhile after just in case.)

#hy.txt #asks

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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you think jason has ever ended an argument against damian with ‘shuddup I banged your mom’

damian: shuddup you can't tell me what to do! you're not my dad

jason: le- lemme- lemme tell you-

#yes yes yes yes yes yes #but also arguments with bruce #bruce: listen jason you cannot keep doing this- there's a way we solve cases through logic- not violence and-#bruce: what are you doing #jason miming out fucking someone: that's what i- that's what i did- what i did- with your- with your girlfriend lmaooo #jason goes around the cave to high five the mannequins with the old robin suits like a champion #i'm still a big fan of aroace jason tho #i see it like this: one side of my brain -> NO :) jason #other side of my brain: lmao i fucked your mom last night- AND ILL DO IT AGAIN! jason #they can coexist in fanon. nothing is real #jason todd #talia al ghul #(yes jason sort of canonically fucked talia you should ask junkoandthediamonds about it but dont like fuck w/their askbox lmao)#(best defense against weirdos in your askbox is to just go inactive randomly. am i even still on tumblr? youll never know)#junkoandthediamonds is like the best person to go to for comic proof tho like they know everything probably #damian wayne #robin #red hood #dc #dcu #dc comics #ask #bataranswers

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loveinterestcastiel · 3 years

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Long post ahead, sorry, but I can’t be the only one who remembers this stuff, right?? i.e. the funko scenes from Atomic Monsters (15x04, Davy Perez wrote, Jensen directed)??

The first one came to pass on screen in the finale, when Sam and Dean discuss the mime-vampire case under the big tree.

The second came to fruition only partially. Upon Dean’s arrival at the Heaven Roadhouse, Bobby tells him only that “Cas helped”. However, the funko pops in 15x04 imply that Cas was supposed to be there. Not Bobby. So what happened?

Some seriously fucked up and suspicious shit is what happened. Take a look:

The water tower on Becky’s desk, also in 15x04, was a hint about a filming location for the finale, that we know they made it to and filmed at because of the SPN tapeball Instagram account. On August 29 2020, the tapeball account posted a picture of the real water tower and the tapeball with the caption “About to drown....in tears”.

Now this... this location, and the scenes shot there, never made it to air. We also know that there are 11 shots missing from episode 20 (if someone could dig out the chart plotting out what scenes fit where, I’d love to insert that here)

So here’s the thing about the SPN tapeball! It’s consistently colour-coded. Jensen is blue, Jared is red, and Misha is green. On the outside of the tapeball (therefore, the scenes most recently shot) we see red, blue, and a metric-ton of green on the left.

So where was Misha?? What happened to Cas?

Fuckery, my friends. He was there. (There’s a screenshot someone took of the view from his window when he was quarantined in Vancouver, don’t ask me how the fandom figured that one out bc it’s complicated but just go with it, Michael Sheen confirmed it during the SuperGood video thing, etc. there’s more but I don’t have time for that rn. Feel free to add on to the post if you have the receipts/pictures)

If I had to guess, even though I hate to do that, I’d say Misha shot his scenes, which were presumably set in Heaven, but they were cut, and he only found out as the show aired. Unfortunately, this sort of thing is not uncommon in the entertainment industry. What really stings is that he sat his kids down to watch the finale with him after never letting them watch the show before, only to see the absolutely frankensteined/chopped up/weak/VValker promoting nightmare of an ending that aired. Talk about a slap in the face (or being stabbed in the back...)

And so it goes- no closure. No resolution. And then the fandom divided itself (cult accusations, toxic discourse, etc. ensued from people I shall not name directed at people I shall not name). And now, non-polol and non-polol-adjacent people are starting to loudly question Why The Hell this was able to slide under the majority of the fandom’s noses in the first place after shaming the people who’ve tried to address it from the beginning, but I don’t really care about how we got here. (Full disclosure, I’m only polol-adjacent. Not in the server but I follow many of the people who are, and when I tell you that they’ve publically been addressing this stuff for ages now I mean it. They never really hid anything if you knew where to look, but some people hate inside jokes between friends, apparently. Not my business) All this crap happened for one reason: because network PR is a machine. It’s intentional, it’s calculated, and it doesn’t give a flying fuck about feelings, representation, or ethics. It’s a gaslighting, money-making game that’s up for anything; queerbaiting is only the tip of the iceberg of rampant industry-wide sexism, racism, homophobia, and ableism. But it FREQUENTLY fucks up. And they did with regards to SPN, many, many times. Like the C/W Philly account. Oopsies!

Now that we’re all finally on the same page, let’s not let this go. I know other people have had these ideas before me, but I needed to get all this written out in one place.

It’s not a conspiracy. It never was. It happened right in front of our eyes. And this is nowhere NEAR all of it.

#atomic monsters #destiel #destielgate #misha collins #dean winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #mishagate #deancas #spngate

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ankh-morpork-times · 3 years

Text

youtube

I wasn't planning to post this morning but this anecdote is just too funny to leave in my drafts folder. Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman speak about adapting Good Omens for the big screen at NADWCon in 2011.

There are no captions so there is a transcript with image descriptions below the cut. Video duration 3:18.

[ID: Terry and Neil are sitting in armchairs on a stage with microphones in front of them.]

Neil: The um... So we, we... The... Probably the single worst experience that we went through was... was, I think, the film. Um, the first [inaudible] when it was bought by very nice people, who convinced us they were very nice 'cause we were absolute innocents, and I just remember going up for the first meeting with them and we... we were going up for the meeting and, um, Terry says, "Here, come over here." I said, "Okay." He said, "Um, look, I'm not sure about these people, and you're not sure about these people. If-" -this is our first meeting- "-If they're just completely barking, we should have a code word-"

[Audience laughter]

Neil: "-and if one of us says the code word, we both get up in unison and we leave."

[Laughter]

Neil: I said, "Okay, so we need a code word that neither of us could conceivably say in normal conversation."

[Laughter]

Neil: And Terry says, "Yes." I said, "Okay, what about 'Biggles'?"

[Laughter]

Neil: Now, 'Biggles', for those of you who don't know, was a-"

Terry: A famous Cardinal!

[Laughter]

Neil: He was!

Terry: They're young!

Neil: Of course!

Terry: That's the only one they know!

Neil: In... Captain W. E. Johns wrote books about Biggles, who was a WW1 flying ace, who with his pals, Ginger and Algy used to go around shooting up the-

Terry: [inaudible speech overlapping with audience laughter]

Neil: -the evil Germans. So, if any Germans are here, you're not evil, it was just in this book. So-

[Laughter]

Neil: The, um... So, I said, "What about 'Biggles'?" And Terry goes, "Okay, 'Biggles' it is." So we head off to the meeting, and we were sitting there around the table talking to what seemed to be terribly nice, sensible people, and then the executive walks in. And the executive in this case was a woman, who looked like she had mugged somebody twenty years younger than her and stolen her hair.

[Laughter]

Neil: And she walked in and she sort of like... [in an exaggerated American accent] "Hi Neil, hi Terry, it's lovely to meet you both. Now, I'm sure that the guys have been talking to you both about your book, Good Omens, and what we're thinking about. Now, okay, lemme just run some stuff, uh, past you. We figure the, the dynamics of this are: the kid, um, Adam, whatever his name is, uh, Newt, the Witchfinder, we see him as being maybe, like, Tom Cruise- [audience laughter in background] -young, good-looking, hunky, but he's looking for witches. And the witch- Athanema [sic], I think her name was... Okay, so there's Newt and there's Athanema-" And I look at Terry, I need to actually mime this- [Neil pauses as he stands]

Terry: Well, I think we should do it together- [Terry stands as well]

Neil: We should do it together-

[Terry and Neil stand facing the audience and mime flying like planes as the audience laughs and applauds. They sit back down at the end of the video]

#terry pratchett #neil gaiman #good omens #nadwcon #discworld conventions #biggles #gnu terry pratchett

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godofsexdrugsandrocknroll · 3 years

Text

On A Tropical Island

Jaune: Great. Just great. Now I’m lost and all my friends are missing too! I’m too angry to be depressed!

Neo: *Head pops out of the sand, spitting it everywhere*

Jaune: Oh, even better. Now I have company. This can’t possibly get any worse! *Ignores Neo glaring*

-----------------

Jaune: Stop following me! You’re a bad girl!

Neo: *Cocks eyebrow*

Jaune: *Blushes* Not what I meant! I mean you’re evil! And all you’ve done to help so far is poke me with a stick! *Is poked with a stick* Dammit, stop that!

Neo: *Pokes him in the butt instead*

Jaune: OW! That’s not what I meant you menace!

Neo: *Preens at being called a menace*

Jaune: And stop trying to be cute, too!

-----------------

Neo: *Tapping bare foot*

Jaune: Okay, so maybe my sense of direction isn’t the best. *gets The Look* Alright alright already, jeez. We’re back where we started, your shoes, your jacket and my armor are now forever lost to the wilds and it’s not my fault!

Neo: *Stares*

Jaune: *Shifts guiltily* Okay maybe it is, but if I had a map *Neo crosses her arms, reigniting The Look™ * we’d still probably be lost since the rest of team RNJR banned me from the map after reading it backwards and upside down.

Neo: *Nods firmly, taking the lead*

Jaune: For the fourth time.

Neo: *Turns, gapes in shock, shakes her head and grabs him by the hand*

Jaune: *Offended* Hey, I’m not a child! I won’t get lost!

Neo: *Looks at him through her eyelashes*

Jaune: *Sighs* Okay, fine. But only because getting lost in a weird jungle is way worse than getting lost in the grocery store at 14.

Neo: *Stops, removes belt, ties end around his wrist and grabs the other end*

Jaune: *Starts whining*

-----------------

Jaune: Dear diary *ignores Neo’s pointing and silent laughter* today is day 17 on the worst island to ever exist. Butthole and I -- OW, SHIT-FUCK-SHIT! I really hate that you sharpened your stick into a spear! Fine, Neo and I finally have a a good system in place for food. We’ve got our firepit, Neo turned my armor we found into a pan, one pot and a skillet, my impeccable home economics have saved our asses and we’ve got a spit for roasting things over the fire!

Neo: *Munches happily on roast rabbit*

Jaune: It’s really working out! Neo’s great at the spotting and tracking, I get to use the spear to hunt and there’s plenty of these really stupid semi-intelligent rabbits that seem to have a language of their own that are really good when you cook ‘em just right. *Pauses* I think they might have stolen my shirt though, I haven’t seen that thing in like four days.

Neo: *Mentally reminds herself to burn the eye candy’s shirt before he finds it*

-----------------

Day 28

Jaune: Ow, stop kicking me! I said I was sorry!

Neo: *Jumps on Jaune, bites his ear*

Jaune: AAAGGHH!!! Dammit Neo, how many times do I have to tell you not to bite me! It’s not my fault that seagull stole your hat! In case you hadn’t noticed, it stole Pyrrha’s sash too!

Neo: *Jumps off him, gestures emphatically*

Jaune: I know, you angry little troll! *Instead of attacking him again, Neo just stares at him sadly* I-I... *sighs* I know. I know. I really wanna kill that thing too. It’s...it’s all I had left of her too. All you had left of Torchwick. But we’re stuck here. We can’t find my friends and this island is huge.

Neo: *Nods unhappily*

Neo: *Jabs him with her stick spear*

Jaune: Yeah, we can kill any seagulls we see. *Neo blinks, considers trying to get her point across but nods*

-----------------

Day 49

Jaune: How do you set everything on fire! I told you we needed just enough to warm ourselves!

Neo: *Lunges at Jaune, leaves fire to burn*

Jaune: *Is strangled*

-----------------

Day 54

Neo: *Admires Jaune’s ass in jorts*

Jaune: I still don’t understand why you had to ruin my jeans. Tossing the boots into that bottomless pit, I get. My feet thank you. Uh, except when I keep stepping on sharp rocks and twigs. But really?

Neo: *Points at him, hand fans herself and panics, shaking her head rapidly*

Jaune: *Oblivious, insulted* Yeah, yeah, I’m sweaty! Fine, fuck having pant legs! I wanna get scratched and bitten by those weird little blue people again!

Neo: *Blinks, shakes her head in exasperation and relief*

-----------------

Day 59

Jaune: I can’t believe you committed genocide because those blue people stole your top! Neo, they just wanted a tent!

Neo: *Glares murderously at Jaune, covering her frilly pink and white bra with her hand and arm*

Jaune: *Gulps* I-I-I-I know! It’s upsetting, but murder isn’t always the answer!

Neo: *Uses free hand and makes bunny ears*

Jaune: Hey, those rabbits might be really stupid but they’re super mean spirited! One tried to drop a rock on my head and don’t you dare say it’d be an improvement!

Neo: *Startled, laughs*

Jaune: *Sheepish, laughs too*

Neo: *Continues laughing, eventually noticing Jaune has stopped and is red in the face, wide eyed*

Neo: *Notices she moved her arm and Jaune is staring at her chest*

Jaune: *Notices Neo’s glare and red face* W-wait, hold on a minute now, I didn’t mean to--

Neo: *Glomps, bites his nipple*

Jaune: *Girlish screams that can be heard for miles*

-----------------

Day 72

Jaune: No, put the berries down. You can’t just keep eating fruit all the time, you’re already very small and need to keep yourself healthy if you don’t wanna lie rotting as a corpse on this island forever.

Neo: *Grabs a huge handful of berries, shoves them in her mouth smugly*

Jaune: Dammit Neo, stop being so bratty! I’m only trying to help! *Grabs Rabbit jerky* Now do your body good, open your mouth and eat my meat!

Neo: *Gags, chokes, spits mushy berries out and kicks Jaune in the solar plexus for the phrasing*

Jaune: *Wheezing* I swear I didn’t mean to OH X-RAY AND VAV, SAVE ME!

Nearby Seagull: *Hearing the abyssal, shrieking screams of the Tall One, flies off in terror and decides to move the family nest*

Neo: *Biting, kicking, punching and pinching*

-----------------

Day 88

Jaune: I can hardly shave Neo, if you don’t remember my sword’s a jagged piece of sharp metal these days!

Neo: *Shows off shaved armpits, shows off shaved legs having long since created shorts from her capris and shows him a wooden knife*

Jaune: I should be concerned that you’ve created another stabby, but somehow -- GASP! *Actually gasps, clutches his beard* No! You wouldn’t!

Neo: *Grins*

Jaune: Please don’t, beloved friend of mine.

Neo: *Touched*

Jaune: What? We are. I mean sure you bite and attack me way more than most normal people do but you did save me from that rabbit mercenary group that tried to use a swinging log to splatter my brains against a tree. You might’ve been a bad guy once, but it’s nearly been three months and you’ve more than proven yourself. And I can’t really not call you a friend when I feel guilty about how I treated you.

Neo: *Smiles, undoes her bra*

Jaune: Wait, WHAT!? *Neo jumps on him and smiling happily, gives his cheek a kiss and starts shaving* WAIT NEO NO, THAT’S NOT FAIR YOU CAN’T USE BOOBIES AS A WEAPON LIKE THA- *Neo shakes her body side to side* -GGRRRGGG! That is so cruel. You’re the worst friend ever. I’m glad you have to sit on my ribs and not my lap because that would be even worse.

Neo: *Continues shaving*

-----------------

Day 146

Jaune: *Using his semblance* See, what’d I tell you? They get smarter! No way are those little demons gonna fall for the same trap twice.

Neo: *Lets Jaune heal the bloody bite marks from a rabbit, squirms*

Jaune: Stop it, you’re fine. *Kisses healed hand* Booboo be gone!

Neo: *Blushes brightly, stares wide eyed*

-----------------

Day 179

Neo: *Spinkicks boulder about to crush Jaune*

Jaune: Thanks Neo! *To a small, derpy looking anthropomorphic rabbit* Your wretched plan is foiled you vile creature from the deepest pits of hell! Now do me a favor and get stabbed!

Neo: *Spins away, clutching her beating heart as the sound of a vicious goring occurs*

Jaune: Another day, another dead rabbit! Oh look, there’s more! *Offers the Spear of Ultimate Stick to Neo* You wanna eviscerate the next couple?

Neo: *Wonders what this feeling is*

-----------------

Day 187

Jaune: *Gaping stupidly at Neo’s perfectly lit fire* W-wha? How!? Two months ago you lit my hair on fire *brushing hand through short, unstyled blondeness* but n-now...

Neo: *Smugly roasting bird meat*

Jaune: *Scoops Neo into a hug, spins the wide eyed mute* I understand how Dad felt when I finally learned to tie my shoes in the 6th grade now! I’m so proud, Neo! OW!

Neo: *Spits Jaune’s shoulder blood out, turns away blushing*

Jaune: Still proud. *Notices Neo blushing, deliberately not looking at him* Uh-oh. *Quietly, to himself* Oh no. I recognize this feeling. Ohhh shit. Okay, what the hell Jaune!? You see her boobs and you feel awkward about your boner for three days, but she looks all cute and embarrassed and that’s what does me in!? What kind of bullshit is this!?

Neo: *Oblivious, cupping her cheeks and cutely twisting back and forth*

-----------------

Day 219

Jaune: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neo: *Silently screaming at the top of her lungs*

Jaune: OH MY GOD NEO WHY THE FUCK IS HE SO BIG!? *Looks fearfully back at a 12 foot tall, musclebound, derpy looking anthroporphic rabbit sprinting at them with rage in its unthinking eyes*

Neo: *Frantically mimes stabbing*

Jaune: NEO, WHAT THE FUCK, I THINK HE’S TOO SWOLE FOR HUSHABYE!!!

Neo: *Heart flutters at Jaune’s name for their spear*

Giant Rabbit: ▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!

Jaune: *Ears ringing*

Neo: *Points at Jaune’s crotch, mimes stabbing*

Jaune: *Pales* THAT’S PROBABLY THE MOST EVIL THOUGHT YOU’VE EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE! *Neo pouts, mimes it again* I’M JUST SAYING, NOT JUDGING, LET’S DO IT! *Uses semblance*

Neo: *Commits murder most foul*

Jaune: *Whips out the wooden knife* I’M SO SORRY FOR THIS, YOU OVERGROWN FREAK OF NATURE! *Jumps on the screaming body of the mutated rabbit, starts stabbing*

~~5 Minutes Later~~

Jaune: *Covered in blood, wipes forehead* Phew. Killing something this big really takes it out of you.

Neo: *Covered in blood, staring at Jaune wide eyed*

Jaune: Kind of a shame he looks basically human. Save for his stupid head, I guess, because I kinda don’t wanna eat anything that’ll make me feel too cannibally. *Puts hand on chin, blood drips* But I kinda think this is like the Final Boss of those rabbits. Maybe chop his head off and put on a pike like you did with that poor little blue guy that seemed to be the other blue people’s chief? *Nods resolutely* Yeah, gotta establish dominance and fear in those godless little fucks. *Looks at Neo* What do you think, NeeeMMMMPPPHHH!!!

Neo: *Glomps Jaune, shoves her tongue into his mouth*

-----------------

Day 237

Neo: Gakgh gakgh gakgh!

-----------------

Day 243

Jaune: Oh god, yeah, fuck yeah, you like that don’t you? *Grabs Neo’s hair*

Neo: *Likes that very much*

-----------------

Day 249

Jaune: *Waggles knife* So, uh, aim for the kidneys?

Neo: *Nods emphatically*

Jaune: Huh. I guess I’ll test it out on Cinder. Thanks honey. *Kisses cheek*

Neo: *Swoons*

-----------------

Day 251

Jaune: *Naked, washing grumpy Neo’s hair* I really mean it! I am so sorry. Just, well, uh...okay, you give amazing head and I wasn’t expecting you to go for the balls. Or, uh, the other thing, but well, um *sighs* look, the taint thing was just really unexpected and I’m really sorry I came in your hair! *Blushes*

Neo: *Can’t help but be proud, leans into his hands*

-----------------

Day 268

Jaune: Is there no end to your flexibility!? *Chokes on air* Nope. Guess not.

Neo: *Doing the splits smugly*

-----------------

Day 274

Jaune: And that is why, despite what people say, Immortal Konflict is superior to Road Combatant!

Neo: *Nods seriously*

Jaune: Wanna play when we get back to Remnant, maybe after we kill Salem in her sleep or something?

Neo: *Nods excitedly*

Jaune: You’re the best! *Kisses temple* Ow, why are you hitting me, I thought you liked kisses!?

Neo: *Liking forehead and temple kisses but not wanting to admit it*

-----------------

Day 296

Jaune: *Cumming inside*

Neo: *Toes curl, signing ‘I Love You’ over and over again*

Jaune: *Panting* God I love you too, Neo.

Neo: *Gapes, signs*

Jaune: *Panting decreases* Uh, yeah? My Dad has permanent hearing damage from his Huntsman days. Some chick had a mortar-giant cudgel-battering ram weapon and you can guess about how well that went.

Neo: *Signs more*

Jaune: I-- *realizes* ohhhh. I get it. Uh, I didn’t even think about it. You never signed so I figured you never learned. Ow, my ass!

Neo: *Stops pinching his ass, signs again but slower*

Jaune: *Blushes brightly* Um, yeah. I did. Is that-- *Neo flips him onto his back, kissing him and rocking her hips*

-----------------

Day 338

Jaune: *Contently holding Neo* This really was the last thing I expected to happen. *Neo nods as she leans into him* I...I don’t think I can ever really not miss Pyrrha, or despise Cinder from the bottom of my soul.

Neo: *Signs rapidly that she feels the same way, that she misses Roman*

Jaune: Yeah. I know. *Clears throat* But I think it’s okay. I mean I didn’t expect this to happen, but I’m glad it did. *Snuggling occurs* We’re gonna get out of here. We’re putting Cinder in the dirt. Then we’re gonna do the same to Salem. Then buy a house.

Neo: *Signs*

Jaune: I’ve kinda been a country boy my whole life. It’s up to you *is headbutted* OW! *Neo rubs the back of her aching head, signs, Jaune rubs his chin* Then it’s decided.

*Enjoying each others presence*

-----------------

Day 362

Weiss: Actually, the amount of slashes in the trees could just mean some new terrible creature of ridiculous origin could have made this area of the forest its stomping grounds.

Blake: *Flatly* As long it’s not the flying piranhas with steel teeth that drip acid, I’m fine.

Ruby: *Shudders* Please don’t remind me! I’m suppressing, Blake! Do you want to ruin fish sticks and mustard for me!?

Blake: *Grimaces* Yes.

Yang: *Ignores the bickering* Not gonna lie Weiss, after that giant crocodile with the crown and the cape and the penguin with the hammer, something a little more normal and horrific sounds just like home. *Adjusts cheetah print bikini, shifts hips under her grass skirt*

Weiss: *Eyebrow twitches* Right. Home. Which you clearly miss. *Eyes Yang’s flawless tan*

Yang: Huh? Well, yeah! Not to devalue the disaster we have waiting for us when we get back but I’m dying for a cheeseburger and a *in singsong* Strawberry Sunrise!

Ruby: *Cutting off Weiss and ignoring a fuming Blake* It could be Jaune though!

Weiss: Yes, possibly, but you have to consider the fact-- *Steps around tree, goes silent at the sounds*

Neo: *In a mating press clutching her feet, biting her lip and then silently moaning*

Jaune: *Going so hard he’s clapping Neo’s cheeks*

Weiss: --that maybe those living, spiny fruits got us again and we’re all on a very bad trip. *Can’t look away but wants to*

Ruby: *Blushes furiously*

Blake: *Covers nose, turns away*

Yang: I really wanna be there for our boy but *ignores Jaune’s cursing, Neo’s nodding and Jaune pushing in deep and creampieing the silently screaming mute* a really big part of me wants to punch him in his stupid face. Really!? Her!?

Blake: *Muffled* You sure you’re not just salty that it’s Neo?

Jaune: *Awkwardly, wide eyed but happy* Oh. Guys. Hey! Hi! *Weiss screeches as Jaune stands, Neo breathes heavily but grins smugly*

Yang: Nope. Not at all. *Clenching fist*

-----------------

Day 363

Yang: Okay. I’m cool with whole... *gestures at Neo and Jaune holding hands* thing, because honestly I’d have to be a condescending and arrogant bitch to look down on you because of that, but really?

Ruby: Yang has a point, little blue people and psychotic but also really stupid rabbits and their super-duper-strong Daddy Rabbit? And you killed them alllll oh wow. *Staring at something that Jaune pulled from a bag* That’s a weird looking skull. *Whispering* Why does he have a skull!? Oh no, Neo really did corrupt him and not just with that!

Yang: *Gapes, recovers slowly, sarcastically* She is such a good influence on you Jaune.

Jaune: *Grinning* I know, right? I mean imagine if Neo wasn’t here with me! I probably would’ve survived but I would’ve been so depressed that I’d probably be coming back eyeless and with a ton of PTSD! And maybe a quirky catchphrase!

Yang: Because that’s important. *Rolls eyes* Besides, you couldn’t pull off a catchphrase to save your life.

Jaune: *Face goes slack, contorts stupidly in a scream* BWAAAAH!

Team RWBY: *Jerks*

Neo: *Bites Jaune’s pinky*

Jaune: OW-OW-OW! Take a joke, Neo!

Yang: No, yeah, pretty much on the shrimp’s side.

Weiss: I have no idea what that was but never do it again.

Blake: *Forgives Jaune and Neo for their crusade against the rabbits*

Ruby: *Giggling at the derp face Jaune made*

Jaune: Fine, fine, you win. *Pouting* Using their war cry would have been so insulting to their memory though.

Neo: *Smiling, kisses Jaune’s cheek, signs that he’s a big baby*

Weiss: Getting back to the point though, we didn’t think Jaune would be in nearly as good shape as he’s in now. In that regard I feel we owe Neopolitan a good deal of gratitude.

Blake: And like it or not Yang, having her not just be an enemy of Salem but actually on our side?

Yang: Yeah, well--

Ruby: Plus he’s happy! And I think he kind of needs it. *Sadly* We all do. A-and if Neo is what makes him happy, then I think I’m happy too.

Jaune: *Touched* Rubes...

Ruby: It hurts, Jaune. But I can’t imagine...well, I can’t imagine if it were me. So it’ll take time but the best thing I can do here is be happy for you and get us outta here! *Pumps fist*

Neo: *Signs rapidly*

Jaune: *Grins* And make Cinder and Salem unalive! And in the days leading to that, make them wish they were already dead!

Ruby: *Uncomfortable at the bloodlust* Umm...

Yang: Ah fuck it, you speak my language like that and I can’t stay mad at you! Let’s do it! *Slaps Blake’s ass*

Blake: *Yelps, blushes and glares at Yang* Is this really the time for that!?

Weiss: *Rubbing the bridge of her nose with her eyes squeezed shut* Ah, the onset of a pounding headache. Truly the gang is back together again.

-----------------

Day 365

Jaune: Kinda conveniant that exactly one year after falling into the mythical island of who knows where we find ourselves back in the real world, isn’t it?

Neo: *Hand on her hip, staring at him*

Yang: I’m with the midget. *Grass skirt swishes* Are you really about to complain we’re free of that hellhole?

Weiss: They have a point. After everything we fought there you’d think you would be more appreciative.

Jaune: I am. It just seemmmmpph! *Is kissed by Neo*

Neo: *Happily shuts Jaune up*

Ruby: Alright, let’s do this!

*Action pose except Yang’s tan, in a cheetah fur bikini and a grass skirt, Jaune has a handful of Neo’s ass and Neo is grabbing Jaune by the hair, clearly using tongue and Hushabye is aimed in a slightly red faced Blake’s direction*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got the chance to see the RWBY finale today and rather than be depressed and think about Penny, I decided I’d go ahead and write a Silent Knight fic instead. It’s all over the place but really, that’s to be expected since I went in with no plan. I know people are already bitching over on Reddit about Jaune possibly getting attention, but like with most people who dislike a character I decided to pay them no mind whatsoever.

Because honestly, with Dragonslayer never happening I’d be perfectly fine with Jaune x Neo.

As for this entire thing, I had way more fun with it than I should have and I hope anyone reading it has just as much fun as I did writing it.

Oh. And yes, there were plenty of Rabbids and Smurfs harmed in the creation of this lengthy drabble.

#rwby #jaune arc #neopolitan #silent knight #jaune x neo #team rwby #rwby volume 8 finale #au #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin'#shitpost

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cassanovancats · 3 years

Text

felicitate. one.

WARNING: JJK spoilers. canon-typical violence.

prologue < current > two

Nov. 2016

“Didja hear about the new transfer student starting today?” Panda asked, poking his head into your room. You push him out of the doorway and lead the way outside where you collect Inumaki and Maki to walk to class together.

You hummed slightly before answering, “Not really. Nii-chan said he wanted to surprise us with him.”

“He stuffed four - four, you guys! - of his classmates into a locker.”

“Killed them?” Maki asks, shifting her weapons case to sit higher on her shoulder. Inumaki leans over, interested.

“Nope! Only ‘severe’ injuries,” Panda explains, using his claws to make quotation marks around the word severe.

“I wonder what his lineage is. If he’s a transfer then he probably doesn’t have an inherited technique. Maybe we both can train together!” Your steps get a little lighter at the thought of adding to your harem. Maki glares at you as if she heard your thoughts and gives an audible hmph.

“If he’s cocky about being the strongest at some bumpkin junior high, I’ll rough him up.” Maki declares. “I bet you’re too tired to even train today, (y/n).”

“Salmon.”

You gasp dramatically. “Even you, Toge-kun? I can’t believe my favorite partner would do me like that. You both know it’s a Monday, I only did five kilometers this morning, thank you very much. And if you would actually join me sometime, you would understand that’s an easy distance.” You toss your hair and point your nose upward sarcastically.

Inumaki rolls his eyes, “Bonito flakes.”

“What he said,” Maki nods. “It's bad enough you convinced Gojo we have to run laps to warm-up before training.” You pout at such blatant rebuffs. Another failed attempt to get a workout buddy. Not that any of your classmates were weak, quite the opposite, they just kept training to what they saw as most essential - cursed techniques and fighting.

“You wouldn’t want them on your run anyways,” Panda says, trying to cheer you up, “You’d just leave them in the dust and end up alone on your trail anyways.” You chuckle at the annoyed noise Maki makes and move to enter the classroom first. As always, you claim the desk furthest from the door and closest to the window. Inumaki sits next to you, a habit from when you both met as children at clan meetings, Maki next to him, and Panda by the door.

You toss your jacket across the back of your chair and breathe in relief. The terrible things were so heavy and while it was great in the winter, November was still too hot to be covered in fabric. You smooth your skirt across your thighs to cover more skin and turn to ask Inumaki a question about the homework when Satoru slams the door of the classroom open. “Transfer student incoming! Let’s get this party -,” he trails off seeing the bored look on everyone’s face, “-started? (y/n), explain why you’re not totally pumped.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Are you asking as my brother or my teacher right now?”

“I heard he’s a punk. I have no interest in being nice to that kind of guy.” Maki interrupts.

“Salmon.”

Satoru pouts when you nod and Panda remains silent. “Whatever.” he turns and cups his hand around his mouth to yell at the closed door. “Come on in now!”

A deep sense of dread settles in your stomach when the door inches open. You and Inumaki share a look and he is already reaching to push up his sleeve and pull down his zipper. The boy who walks in is hunched in over himself and would be cute if not for the enormous curse hanging onto his back. The monster sneers with elongated teeth over his shoulder while he makes his introduction. Although neither makes an offensive move, every student makes one choreographed movement to circle around him in a defensive measure. Maki thrusts her blade into the blackboard behind Yuta Okkotsu. “Don’t you know you’re cursed?” She sneers at him down the staff, “We learn about curses here. It’s not a place for people who are cursed.”

Satoru doesn’t move an inch when he begins the spiel you’ve heard a million times: where curses originate, how sorcerers exorcise them, and how Jujutsu High trains each generation of sorcerers. It’s clear he didn’t explain this to Yuta, as the already pale boy becomes almost translucent. You take a step back, still hesitant about what must be a special-grade curse, but trusting that your brother would never endanger you. Well, at least not to the point of possible death. If he brought Yuta to your class, there must be a reason.

But then two giant arms emerge from the blackboard to grab Maki’s weapon from her hands. An ominous voice that makes you suddenly nauseous warns, “Don’t bully Yuta!” The arms swipe your friends onto their backs in one smooth movement. Panda thumps against the wall and Inumaki slides across the floor, hitting his head on an upturned desk. Maki stumbles backwards, shocked at the easy strength of the curse.

“Stop!” The technique you borrowed from Inumaki forces everyone in the room to freeze and you fall to your knees coughing, suddenly exhausted. Your brother breaks your hold and moves away from where he leaned against his desk when he first entered the room to offer you a hand. You stand on shaky legs as he explains how Yuta came to be cursed. Satoru allows you to clasp both hands onto the one still supporting you, allowing his technique to be borrowed and releasing the hold you had on your classmates.

You move to stand with them in solidarity as they gather to their feet. Maki takes the role of your pillar, allowing you to stand slightly behind her and grip the back of her jacket, while Inumaki hands you a cough drop from his pocket. You nod a thanks, still unable to speak. God, you need to train with his technique more. He can get at least three strong commands out before being incapacitated.

“They’re going through a rebellious phase, so let me introduce everyone. First is my precious lil sister, Gojo (y/n). She copies techniques by touch, so ignore how handsy she gets.” Satoru smiles and winks behind his blindfold, “Maki Zen’in. Cursed tool user; she uses special tools to exorcise curses. Cursed speech user Toge Inumaki, (y/n) copied his technique in that little show. His vocab is limited to rice ball ingredients. And Panda.” He points at each of you as he travels down the line. Yuta moves to join where the four of you had previously stood united against him. “Wow! Five first years! That's the biggest class in a while. Yaga must be so jealous the great Gojo-san can recruit so many talented young ones.” Satoru mimes wiping a tear from his blindfolded eyes and you roll your own at his self-praise. Yuta nervously (maybe curiously? nervous is the most common reaction) eyes Panda.

By now, you can mostly stand on your own, but gesture for another cough drop from Inumaki. He indulges you, though reluctantly. You make a mental note to buy a pack to refill both your own and his pocket stashes. But first, an afternoon practical where you’re paired with your brother. A pairing which means you two will just take the Gojo family card for a trip around whatever district you’ll be traveling to. Not that you’d ever complain about that. Inumaki and Panda are paired together, which leaves Maki and the new kid. Yuta moves to stand in front of Maki (and you, by default, since you’re still slightly hidden behind her) and says quietly, “I’m, uh, looking forward to working with you.” He manages a shaky smile.

Maki narrows her eyes. “You were bullied, right?” He visibly shakes but doesn’t respond. “Thought so. You’re totally bully-able. Probably because of the curse. You act like such a good person but it feels fake; it feels gross. You’re being protected, why act like a victim?” You elbow her side with a frown but she carries on. “I bet you’ve been passive your whole life. No goals. No aspirations. Jujutsu High ain’t that easy.”

Panda takes a step to stand firmly next to Yuta and places a giant paw on his shoulder. “That’s enough, Maki.” Inumaki agrees sternly.

“Fine. Whatever,” she scratches at her head, embarrassed at being reprimanded by each of her classmates. She is the first one to leave the room, not waiting for Gojo’s dismissal. Not like each of you don’t know the routine for missions.

The class begins to trickle out slowly and you hesitate before grabbing Yuta’s wrist to tug him gently back into the room. “I wanted to apologize. Maki isn’t always nice, but I promise she’s one of the kindest souls I know. I’m glad you joined our class, Yuta-san.” You smile in a way you hope reassures him. You walk away quickly, hoping to still have time to grab a pair of shorts from your dorm. You think you might just let a curse kill you if you have to fight in a skirt again after accidentally flashing your underwear at Panda last mission. Due to leaving so fast, you miss the sight of Yuta’s frozen body burning up in a deep blush.

The six of you arrive at an elementary school without any more fights in the car. Just a thick, awkward silence. Yuta seems sweaty and is constantly wiping his palms on his pants as the group approaches the building. Gojo-sensei gives the usual mission brief, explaining how children have recently started going missing and two curses are responsible. Team Panda will be responsible for one, Team Maki for the other. “And what will Team Gojo be doing?” Maki asks, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.

“Keeping an eye on the perimeter, of course! (y/n), if you will.” You nod and begin the chant to create a curtain.

“W-what is that? it’s turning to night!” Yuta yells.

“That is a curtain. It’ll make you guys invisible to the outside world and reveal the curses inside.” Gojo-sensei pats Yuta reassuringly on the shoulder. You follow him to stand outside of the curtain. Before it closes your classmates in, Gojo adds, “Don’t go dying on us now.”

You snort and hit your brother's arm. “You shouldn’t scare him like that. Poor boy looked like he was going to faint. So, are we leaving or actually keeping an eye on them?”

“I’m curious about how Rika will react when Yuta is in actual danger. Let’s wait,” he replies. You nod and move to sit cross-legged on the hood of the car while Satoru leans against the side. “...This also gives time for your precious Nii-chan to catch up on gossip. Has sweet Toge caught onto your crush yet?”

You flush and cross your arms across your chest. Moving to angle your body away from him, you pout and petulantly say, “There’s no crush. We’re just good partners. He's the only one of my classmates I can actually take a technique from, so of course I spend time training with him!”

Satoru smiles and hums, “No need to be so defensive. You know I approve if there was a crush though, right?” You just nod, relieved he was letting it drop so easily. “Although, your poor brothers might get jealous if we get even less time with you. We’re your best partners ever, after all.”

“Of course, Nii-chan. You know Team Gojo is undefeatable,” you say. Suddenly, both of you startle and whip your heads towards a point behind the curtain. Even without copying Satoru’s six-eyes, you can see the sudden burst of cursed energy. The wave of power makes you so nauseous, you turn your head and gag slightly.

“Freaky,” Satoru chuckles. “So that's the true identity of special grade cursed spirit Rika Orimoto. Women sure are scary.”

“If he lost control of her, something must be wrong,” you hop up from your seat and step forward to dismiss the curtain.

Yuta steps through the curtain right as your hand reaches out to dash the veil away. The sight startles you. He's covered in the usual grime from missions but it’s how he collapses on top of two children he obviously carried out and the unconscious Maki draped over his back that scares you. You move to untangle the limbs and check Maki for injuries while Satoru steps forward, in teacher-mode again, and says, “Welcome back. You did it.”

You stick your hand out impatiently gesturing for the first aid kit kept in the car. When Gojo places it in your hands, you rush to tourniquet Maki’s leg where there’s an obvious gouge in the flesh. Gojo continues to talk with Yuta, likely a debrief, while you move onto the two children. Neither has any wounds that you can treat - they’re obviously cursed but that requires Auntie Shoko’s technique. You report all of this to your brother and he instructs the driver to be sure to take everyone back to school. He tells you to be sure to help ‘Ieiri-san’ with the children, and while you wrinkle your nose at the formality (Auntie Shoko has never separated her role in your personal life from her role in your training), you easily agree. With some effort and not much help from an exhausted Yuta, you manage to get all four into a car. You slide into the passenger seat and nod to signal the driver to start the car.

After copying her reversed healing cursed technique, the pair of you don’t take long to heal the children and Maki. Maki regained consciousness while you were working on her, nearly kicking you in the face. She gave you a short debrief of what had happened and, knowing she was now okay, you took great delight in teasing her for messing up her first chance to impress your new classmate. “Oh man, Toge-kun is going to love this. I can't believe Miss ‘I’ll rough him up’ got swallowed! You completely fucked up a first impression,” you cackled and dodged her kick. Shoko gave you an exasperated look from across one of the kid’s hospital beds.

“Leave my patients alone, (y/n). Go tell your idiot brother everyone is fine.”

taglist: @rowanthefox

#felicitate #cass.writes #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #inumaki x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader #inumaki x reader x yuta #female!reader #jjk spoilers #jjk volume 0 spoilers

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