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#[ This might be the reason our friendship ends here and now. ]
lbulldesigns · 3 days
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UPDATE (1 Month Later): AITAH For accusing my former best friend of trying to break up my relationship, and promptly ending our thirteen-year-long friendship?
Posted June 20th, 2021
TDLR: I (18M) allowed himself to get gaslit into believing that my best friend of 13 years was being toxic and possessive, and threw said friendship away without a second thought. And realized, too late, how stupid and rash I was being and now can't make things right because she ran away from home.
It's been a month since I last posted here, and have been getting comments asking for an update. I initially decided to not post here anymore, but figured that the people who showed genuine concern for Pow deserved an update.
Sorry for the silence, the past month has been emotionally taxing, to say the least, I'll try and keep this post short but fear it might be long.
So my last update ended with me at an Enforcers station with Pow's family, Van had managed to get hold of his best friend, who is also Pow, and Daisy's maternal uncle, to inform him and his wife about Pow's disappearance. The uncle appeared at the station shortly after getting off his flight, the two were on vacation and came home as soon as they found out Pow was gone, and went straight to the Enforcer at the front desk and just hands him a piece of paper.
I don't know what was on that paper, but suddenly the officer was super cooperative and calling the sheriff down to meet us.
There was a lot of back and forth between everyone, I honestly wasn't paying attention. But the uncle wasn't happy with how the whole situation was being handled, he was incensed with Van for not making sure Pow was where he expected her to be sooner, and was snappy with Daisy (for reasons I wasn't privy to).
He then turned his anger onto me and started interrogating me on how foolish I was and he wasn't pulling his punches, this man has a sharp tongue and a talent to hit where it hurts the most. He only stopped when his wife put a hand on his arm and just gave him a look, she then gave me a pitying look and he decided he was done with me then and there.
Long story short the sheriff stated that there was nothing they could legally do to search for Pow because she was 18 and had by all accounts left voluntarily, that they could put out a missing person for her in the hopes of performing a wellness check but considering she had gone home and taken some of her belongings and paperwork, the chances she'll hurt herself are slim and they couldn't waste resources looking for someone who doesn't want to be found.
We were confused for a second but then it was revealed that Cat, Daisy's GF, knows the sheriff (I didn't care to ask how) and had told her that her and Daisy had gone through Pow's room and found she had left her phone behind, as well as a note, and that some of her belongings were gone.
There was a lot of arguing going on at this point, mostly between Van and Daisy with him asking why she didn't say something to HIM earlier, but by this point I was checking out and only checked back in when Benny (my godfather) gently shook my shoulder to get my attention.
Everyone was looking at me, as if waiting for me to answer a question or something. Cat didn't say anything and handed Pow's phone to me, to show me something and what I saw made my whole body cold and numb.
There were chat logs between Pow and Kara, where Kara was being her "sweet self" and buddying up to Pow thanking her for her help with tutoring her for their science class. Apparently Pow was helping Kara with her studies because she was falling behind in science, and Kara was using this as an opportunity to become friends with Pow.
This would have been a good thing, except Kara was "helping" Pow realise her feelings for me, and encouraging her to confess her to me. She wasn't letting on that her and I were interested in each other, if anything she kept talking about me as if I were just an acquantance, a friend of a friend she says. I paid attention to the dates on every message and noticed when Pow finally decided to "take a leap of faith" and confess to me, was the same day Kara confessed she really liked me and asked if we could be offcial.
I felt sick and numb at the same time, I handed the phone back to Cat and then pulled my own out and unlocked it for everyone else to look through. I didn't say anything the whole time.
Everythign after that is a blur, everyone stood around talking but I didn't pay attention. Benny took me home but I didn't say anything. And when we got home, I just went to bed and didn't get out for a week.
Benny had called my school and told them that I was sick, and organised for my schoolwork to be delivered to my home so that I could catch up when I was feeling better. But I kinda just gave up on everything, my best friend was gone because of me and none of us could go look for her.
After a week, Clag (Pow's eldest brother) came into my room, took one look at me, sighed and then proceeded to fireman carry me out of my room and into the living room. Where Van, Daisy, and Zer were, to give me an intervention. They were worried for me and didn't want me to spiral further than I already was, Van told me that I made a dumb mistake but none of this was solely my fault, and that there were many contributing factors at play, and that giving up on everything wasn't going to help anyone let alone Pow.
I didn't fully believe him but a large weight had been taken off of my chest, Daisy said that she was there to talk at any point if I needed to and that she wasn't angry at me, she said that I was just as much a victim here as Pow, that the real person at fault was Kara.
I'll be honest I had completely forgotten about her at that point, and stupidly felt guilty for ignoring my GF before remembering that she was the drivng force behind everything. Suddenly I felt angry and sick all over again.
Zer noticed my change in mood and filled me in on what had happened at school, about how my friends and Kara had been planning on how to "get back" at Pow only for her to never turn up to school, and then I didn't turn up and wasn't picking up any of their calls.
She told me how she was in the girls toilets, hiding in one of the stalls trying to get hold of either me or Pow, when she heard Kara and her friends come in and listened to Kara bitching about how she couldn't get her "revenge" on that "blue haired bitch".
Kara had organised for half the school to meet up at the front of it, with half rotten tomatoes, ready to throw at Pow when she showed up. But she never did, and it spoilt the "fun" for Kara. One of her friends was being "comforting" and reminded Kara of the little gifts left in Pow's locker, Zer couldn't get a idea of what they emant because they were being vague.
One of the girls, apparently had an actual braincell and morsel of conscience, and asked if maybe Pow didn't actually know and if this wasn't a bit much. Kara actually groaned and said that "that was the point" and that everything worked out much better than she expected because of what a "simp" I am.
There are no words to describe how I'm feeling, even now. I want to say angry but that feels like an understatement, I probably shouldn't direct all my anger at Kara, I should never have been swayed, but the difference is that Kara had meticuosly planned this like a complete sociopath.
I wanted to get back at her, but I also did't want to be worse than her. So I did the only thing I could think of. I dumped her over text. I just said "I know everything. We're done" and then blocked her number, after saving screenshots of her messages. She never said anything obviously incrimidating, but I felt it was worth doing so anyway.
I also told Zer about the messages between Pow and Kara, and Zer just said "leave it to me". She also told me that she wanted to still stay friends, but that she wouldn't hold back in any ass whooping in the future if I got stupid again.
For now, Benny has organised for me to take an extended leave from school on the condition that I do all of my schooling online. He also organised with Pow's aunt for me to volunteer at the food drive and community centre she runs, I'm thankful for how much of a caring person she is. She adores Pow and is disappointed in me for my actions, but she's also a forgiving person and believes in second chances.
I'm sorry for the long post, this will be the last post I make about all of this. I wish that it could have ended with Pow coming home, and everything being well again but it isn't.
She's still gone, but knwing that she took money, clothes, and necessary paperwork with her makes me hopeful that she'll take care of herself. She's an incredibly intelligent person afterall, maybe one day I'll see her in collage or run into her on the street.
But until then, I'll work on myself. Better myself. And hopefully grow to be a better man, than I was a boy.
Thank you to everyone who simultaneuoly kicked some sense into me, and showed support throughout all of this.
Take care.
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insanechayne · 8 months
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~ ~ ~
#the way you talk about relationships/friendships is honestly so sad and kinda pathetic#but I think I needed to hear it because something seems to have finally flipped in my brain now to put me on the right track#because honestly the fact that you still want to keep our friendship hidden for your myriad reasons kinda makes me sick#and feeling like I just got used for a while and then tossed aside when it was no longer convenient also makes me feel sick#your worldview is just so bleak and depressing and for what?#I’m trying to squeeze out every little drop of happiness that I can from this shitty existence#and if there ever comes a time my girlfriend and I don’t trust each other or don’t feel like we can talk to each other about anything#well then that’s a fucking problem and we need to fix it immediately#because personally I believe your partner should be your best friend and I want a relationship where we’re basically attached at the hip#like no secrets completely open with each other talk about every single little thing kind of relationship#because otherwise what’s the fucking point? if you can’t even have that from someone you might spend your life with then what’s it all for?#if you wanna give your all to something already fundamentally broken then that’s your choice and I won’t judge you or try to change you#but couldn’t be me I’ll fuckin tell you that#at least this seems to be a turning point for me so that I can use this to make positive changes to myself and my life#which is honestly exactly what I needed because something inside was still bothering me and making me unhappy#and now I’ve identified it and can remove it and move on with my life#like we’ll still be friends and everything#I’m still happy to talk to you here every day because we do have a deep foundation of friendship at this point#but I think even that might be coming to an end soon…#not that I necessarily want that but just that it feels kind of inevitable at this point since we’ve hit a wall here#idk lotta shit to think through and figure out but at least this cemented my feelings towards my girlfriend#she’s so important to me and I want to give her the whole world and all of my time/attention and that’s how it should be#personal
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flufftober · 10 months
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🍂 🍃 Hello and welcome to our third annual Flufftober 🍂 🍃
We’re so excited to be back and to once again have you here!
As always, let’s fill the month of October with as much fluff as possible 🥰 and for that to happen, we not only have 31 prompts for you, no; we also have something special this year...
Prompt Extras
Last year's Prompt Substitutes were very well-loved and a lot of you used them to replace some prompts from the original list. You're more than welcome to do this again if there's a prompt that doesn't work for you for whatever reason - no explanation needed.
Once again, we offer you last year's top five fan favorites (as voted in the end survey). In addition to that, we also offer five scenario prompts.
If you don't want to replace any prompt from the original list but still love the additional ones - or you simply want to challenge yourself - you can also mix them all together!
So in whichever way you use these Prompt Extras, have fun with them and go wild 💚
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Below the cut you'll find all our rules, posting info, all the prompts in writing, as well as some explanation for prompts we feel might need clarification. If you have any more questions, please feel free to send us an ask 🥰
We hope you like these prompts, and now
Happy Creating 🥳
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Standard Blog Rules & FAQ
No inc*st or p*dophilia - we can’t keep you from writing it or creating art for it but it won’t be reblogged. See further down for clarification.
No hate or ship bashing - we’re all different and we all love different things. As long as it doesn’t go against rule #1, it’s allowed.
Tag correctly! Trigger warnings (including cheating!), ships, ratings, (pure) smut, etc - it’s all fine as long as you tag it.
There’s absolutely no word count restriction, write as little or as much as you like.
In regards to art, anything goes: drawings, paintings, collages, mood boards, gifsets, videos, playlists… the sky’s the limit (though not really…)
While we can’t force you to write fluff or create fluffy art, please try to keep in mind that this is a fluff event 😉
You can start writing and/or arting as soon as you see this - but please refrain from posting before the respective day.
You can participate on as many days as you like, even if it’s just one; you can also create multiple entries for the same day.
You can replace prompts from the original list with either or all of our prompt extras; you can also mix them with the original prompts or create for them in addition to the 31 original prompts, that's completely up to you.
It’s okay to write one story/a series for all the prompts as long as it’s separated into chapters and the respective chapter/work is posted on the given day.
You do not have to stick to one ship or even one fandom - switch as often as you like to or even write for multiple ships for one day.
The ship does not have to be a romantic one! Friendship and family feels are more than welcome (but this is not a way to get around rule #1!)
This event can be combined with other events as long as the other event allows it.
Late entries are always welcome, even if it is months later.
All fandoms and ships are welcome - fanon and canon - as long as they’re of age (in case you want to add smut) and not related.
Since this has often been asked in previous years, please let us clarify the no inc*st or p*dophilia rule:
No inc*st: This rule does not apply to distant cousins and such, as you might find in the LotR fandom (or basically in all of European Monarchy). The line we draw is at direct blood relations (siblings, parents, kids) and/or legal guardianship.
No p*dophilia: This rule does not rule out fandoms that feature teenagers such as Harry Potter, Heartstoppers, Hunger Games, etc. It also doesn't mean you can't write about their time together as teenagers! It was mostly aimed at ships in which one is a minor and the other is not - but since even that got complicated over time, the rule is now this: if you keep it SFW, all is good and allowed, we don't care; if it turns NSFW, be mindful of the legalaties of the world/society/times your characters live in.
Posting
Posting to tumblr
Please use the tag #flufftober2023
Since tags are sometimes wonky, make sure to also add @flufftober in your post
We will try to catch them all, but please don't be mad if we miss a post or if it gets reblogged a bit late
If you're absolutely certain a post has slipped past us, feel free to send an ask with the link to your post
To make reblogging easier for us, make sure to add the following tags: #flufftober2023 #day [xy] #[fandom] #[ship and/or main character(s)]
If you're using a prompt extra tag it as #alt [number]
Posting to ao3
You can add your creation to the collection flufftober2023 or flufftober_2023 (yes, we've once again claimed both)
Late entries are always welcome, on tumblr as well as the ao3 collection! Neither will close - but like always, reblogs will become less regular the more months have passed...
Prompts (and explanations)
1. “I’ve got you”
2. Family, Friends, Loved Ones
3. “Wait you love me?” - “I always have”
4. Cinderella Moment (the "ugly duckling" gets their moment to shine)
5. x + 1 (can be a classic "5+1 things" [or any number you want] creation or literally a plus one for an event or really anything else you can think of)
6. Corn Maze
7. Porch Swing
8. Rainy Day
9. (...) at first sight (think "love at first sight", "enemies at first sight"...)
10. Love of my Life (even this does not have to be romantic 😉)
11. Sweet Tooth
12. Fire & Ice
13. Wrong (...) (think "wrong number", "wrong train", "wrong person"...)
14. “I hate it” - “No, you don't”
15. Emergency, Confession, Adventure
16. Singing one another to sleep
17. Encouraging someone to achieve a goal
18. “Did you plan for this to happen?”
19. Keeping someone safe
20. Pumpkin
21. Swoon
22. Picking (think "picking flowers", "picking up someone", "picking out a dress", "picking a song for the wedding"...)
23. Trinket
24. [melting emoji] (does anyone even know what this emoji stands for? No? We neither but we would love for you to get creative with it 😉 but also, think "melting in the heat", "melting from embarrassment"... also, I would've loved to add it here but tumblr doesn't have this emoji yet)
25. Nook
26. Fireplace
27. Outdoor Event (think "hiking tour", "concert", "picnic"...)
28. Soothing Touch
29. “Hey, wake up!”
30. Self-Worth / Self-Love
31. Dreams Do Come True
Prompt Extras
Last Year's Favorites
Alt 1: Hot Chocolate
Alt 2: “You’ve told your parents?”
Alt 3: Wearing Each Other’s Clothes
Alt 4: Candles, Lanterns, Fairy Lights
Alt 5: “Oh no, you’re a Morning Person!”
Scenarios
Alt 6: Reverse all the Roles
Alt 7: Create a Fairytale Retelling
Alt 8: Give your character a new occupation
Alt 9: Create a crossover of two or more fandoms
Alt 10: Have your characters share the last table at a café
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poohsources · 6 months
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🐝  *  ―  𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑮𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑻𝑯𝑬 80𝑺 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.
❛  i want to know what love is, i want you to show me.  ❜ ❛  don't stop believin', holding on to that feeling.  ❜ ❛  if you fall, i will catch you.  ❜ ❛  and we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, nothing's gonna stop us now.  ❜ ❛  i'll stop the world and melt with you.  ❜ ❛  some will win, some will lose.  ❜ ❛  hold me now, it's hard for me to say i'm sorry. i just want you to stay.  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i'm just thinking of the right words to say.  ❜ ❛  every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you.  ❜ ❛  cause i'm your lady and you are my man.  ❜ ❛  hello, is it me you're looking for?  ❜ ❛  how can i just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace?  ❜ ❛  don't go for second best.  ❜ ❛  don't forget me when i'm gone.  ❜ ❛  you're the best around, nothing's ever gonna keep you down.  ❜ ❛  oh, can't you see, you belong to me?  ❜ ❛  you're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration.  ❜ ❛  life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone.  ❜ ❛  is there something i should know?  ❜ ❛  once upon a time, i was falling in love. now i'm only falling apart.  ❜ ❛  i've got the brains, you've got the looks.  ❜ ❛  welcome to your life, there's no turning back.  ❜ ❛  i'll be there for you, these five words i swear to you.  ❜ ❛  i want to break free from your lies.  ❜ ❛  i'll be gone in a day or two.  ❜ ❛  i should've walked away.  ❜ ❛  no matter what your friends might say, we'll find a way.  ❜ ❛  it's such a shame our friendship had to end.  ❜ ❛  this is the time to remember, 'cause it will not last forever.  ❜ ❛  close your eyes, give me your hand, darling.  ❜ ❛  it's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark.  ❜ ❛  it doesn't matter who's wrong or right.  ❜ ❛  who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?  ❜ ❛  you live for the fight when that's all that you've got.  ❜ ❛  don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive.  ❜ ❛  do i stand in your way or am i the best thing you've had?  ❜ ❛  i wanna dance with somebody, i wanna feel the heat with somebody.  ❜ ❛  do you wanna feel how it feels?  ❜ ❛  i don't know where you're going and i don't know why, but listen to your heart.  ❜ ❛  love's the only thing that keeps me here, you're the reason that i'm hanging on.  ❜
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54625 · 1 month
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I'm not sure if this is the end for the QSMP, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were shut down soon after this.
The eggs have been the lifeblood of the server since they were introduced, and having some of them permanently gone from the server is devastating for so many reasons, and bodes terribly for the future of this project. My optimism has run out. I will still wait for updates but I have no hope.
However, I wanted to write a piece for the community here on Tumblr. I know we're all very emotional right now, because while we have no confirmation that the QSMP will permanently close, we now have good reason to assume there might just be no other clear path out of this.
To the community:
Do not feel like you have to stop loving the server and everything it created. Do not stop creating art. Do not stop sharing why you loved the characters and the story and the world.
To completely boycott everything QSMP, you are discrediting the incredible work that the admins put into the server purely out of passion and the kindness of their hearts. Do not waste their sacrifices. Talk about the server and everything they did for it, give them recognition, let them know we love and appreciate all the time and care they poured into this project. Thank them by caring about their work that they put so much of themselves into.
To completely boycott everything QSMP, you are ignoring the beautiful friendships it created between content creators who otherwise would never have met, and the way it ignited such a fierce determination to learn about others' cultures in them. You are forgetting how much these streamers strived to tell engaging, relatable, fun stories, by themselves or with each other, and to have their fans talk about how much they liked their newest lore. You are refusing to acknowledge the effort put in by everyone on the project to tell amazing stories through the language barrier.
And to completely boycott the QSMP, you are denying yourself the fact that you loved this server; the eggs, the streamers, the stories, the cultural events, the laughter, the sadness, the friendships, the ship ships, the builds, the mods, the languages. You are part of this server for enjoying it's wonderful vitality and beauty and hilarity. As a community, we all are.
I have had my gripes with the QSMP fanbase, as anyone has gripes with the dysfunctional mad household they live in, but at the end of the day, I love it so much. This has been my first time actually being part of a fandom; interacting with people and sharing my art and my ideas, getting into silly debates and arguments, running my mouth off more than I should. I love this bizarre toxic fandom for all of it's worth; I love the fanfic writers (even if I think their characterisation is terrible), I love the fanartists (even if they give Pac those yellow scleras that always make me think of jaundice), I love the live bloggers (even if they clog up the main tag), I love the people who write analysis, the people who make animations and animatics, the people who webweave, and all the other things people in this fandom do to interact with the media we all collectively love and bond over.
We do not need to let this be the end of our community, as we can still share our admiration for the hard work put into this project, lift each other up, express praise where it is warranted.
And we can talk to each other, we can vent about how this has negatively effected us (provided we tag it appropriately 👁️👁️) and respond in kind to those seeking someone to speak to who relates.
The QSMP taught us the value of communication. While behind the scenes, it itself did not abide by it's own rules, we can. The QSMP itself is not the figurehead of communication; the content creators and the fans it sent this message to are. We can be an example of what the QSMP should have stood for.
I do not love the deeply flawed execution of the QSMP, but with my whole heart I love the idea; the ambition, the goal. It was noble. It, to some extent, worked.
It united communities.
Let it unite ours.
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niefics · 4 months
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“JUST FRIENDS” — P.SH X FEM!Y/N
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Sypnosis : Y/n L/n struggles to keep her friendship with her closest friend Sunghoon normal, however they struggle horribly, fighting their urges for him in more ways then one. PART ONE !
Warnings : not proofread, car sex, making out, cursing
Word count : 1052, idk if I fw it fr but wtv
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— His soft lips touched mines as we softly kissed in the tight space of his car. My phone vibrates as I break the kiss to check to see what it was. “Shit, my friends are wondering were I went.” I spoke grabbing my things rushing to put my jacket on and fixing my hair. He watched as I rushed to gather myself. Especially after the make out session we just had.
The party I was at was getting very boring anyways, my friends enjoying it more then I was. The smell of weed making my head hurt slightly as I hung around my friend until I noticed sunghoon, across the party staring at me, telling me to meet him at his car.
I felt my chin get pulled closer to sunghoon, his lips touching mines again, whipping my slightly swollen lips after. “Text me whenever you get ready to leave, we can finish what we-“ “I don’t know Hoon, my friends are planning to go to another party soon, so we might have to finish this another time.” I spoke as I got out of the car shutting the door and walking back into the party to see my friends.
“Y/n, we’ve been looking for you, for 20 minutes !” One friend spoke worriedly. I tried my best not to worry them and not inform them that it was my close friend sunghoon I was with, making out in his car as I ignored their first few texts until I realized it’s been 20 minutes. “Guys im fine don’t worry I was just tour for some fresh air that’s all.” I lied sheepishly. “Don’t do it again before telling us, we thought you got kidnapped or something!” Another spoke.
Sunghoon sighed in his car after watching me leave so quick and suddenly. It’s been almost 3 months since the night I helped him out with his aching boner. After sleeping together for a second time after ditching a party, it was his idea to become friends with benefits. His feelings for me are bigger then what he thought they were. Normally if had a “quick fuck” he wouldn’t be this upset if it got cancelled so suddenly.. but he was and he couldn’t understand why.
Maybe it because of all the time hes recently spent kissing, and being intimate with me. Either way he was so upset the quick session ended so soon.
“Should we go to the next party now ? There’s so many cute boys there, and jakes there y/n! Maybe you might get lucky ?” My friend spoke, Jake was a simple crush I had, until I realized how much of a flirt he was. He knew I liked him but never said anything thankfully, the only reason I know now is because of of sunghoon, who was know where to be found inside the party. Maybe he just was ready to go home early after a night of partying, something I wish I could do simply because I just didn’t want to go to a party near Jake and his fuck boy antics.
Sunghoon sat in his car staring at message he was gonna send to me. “Text me when you get ready to leave the second one ?” He shook his head, starting to delete it until he saw 3 dots pop up from me.. and just as soon as it popped up it disappeared. Maybe that night he asked for my help was a simple mistake. His horny thoughts were getting to him that night, maybe I was truly using him for just sex like expected, whatever it is he wanted more of me then ever. “I really need you right now.” He quickly texted, hoping that I could make a good excuse to ditch my friends for the rest of the night.
Believe it or not, I wanted him just as much as he wanted me right now, but there was no way I was gonna be able to even leave for the rest of the night.
“Ahh, the weed smell is making my head hurt, you guys mind if I walk outside for while ?” I spoke. “I do have to agree it is strong in here, but answer our texts and calls!” One of my friends spoke, I nodded quickly walking off to see sunghoons car telling him I’m on my way.
Getting into his car, I see a shit eating grin growing on his face. I smile too getting in quickly. “We have to make it quick!” I spoke. Both of us being pulled to the backseat quickly to have more space.
— my dress was around my waist bunched up, as I sat on his lap riding him with a fast yet slow pace from time to time. Squelching noises, noises of the leather of his car and my quiet whines were the only thing heard besides the sudden passing of a nearby car. The fear of being seen long gone.
We kissed sloppily as he thrusting into me, my hands wrapped around his neck. A constant vibration was suddenly heard, my head shoots up looking for the noise of my phone, sitting near on the back seat. “Shit.. it’s my friend.” I spoke, trying to pull myself together. “I have to answer.” A breathless moan leaving me as he kept the same pace. “Fuck- I’m close .. ju-st, just answer it, I’ll slow down.” He spoke, slowing down as I answered.
“Hello ..?” I spoke, trying to keep my moans under control. “Y/n where are you? We’re a getting ready to.” I felt as sunghoon slammed into me from under. Making my knot that was tightening quickly. I gasped muffling my mouth with my hand looking into his eyes as I struggle to swallow down the pornographic moans. He gulped, struggling to hide his moans and groans, his hands bruising my ass indefinitely. “Are you okay ?? You seem like you’re out of breath.” “No! I’m .. I-m fine.” I rushed out, clenching around sunghoon the more I stayed on the phone call.
I patted his chest trying to get him to slow down, fearing to get caught. Sunghoons fear of getting caught long gone, “fuck, y/n-“ my eyes grew big surprised by his sudden words knowing they heard.
“Wait, are you with sunghoon?”
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morganbritton132 · 9 months
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Living for conspiracy Steve. You know if they tried anything Joan the Disservice cat would be on the case. You also know Diane clocked it during her looky loo walks and she’s got tea. An alliance is forming.
What’s funny about Steve’s paranoia with the electric company van parked outside is that it’s definitely just the electric company.
If SoMeBoDy would just listen to reason then maybe they might remember the bad weather they’ve been having. They live in a suburb just outside of Chicago. It’s windy and wind messes with powerlines, but Steve isn’t dumb. Thank you very much.
He knows that.
Just like he knows what logo Mike said was on the van that El flipped. And like he said, “It’s spycraft 101. Of course, they’re here after a storm. It’s inconspicuous.”
“Big word,” Eddie replies appreciatively. “How do you know that?”
“I took the SATs?”
“Now the word! Why do you think that they’re tapping our phones?”
“It’s in all the movies, Eddie.”
There’s an unspoken duh tacked on to the end of Steve’s sentence and Eddie kinda loves it. He kinda loves how confident Steve is when he’s convinced himself this shit is real and a little part of Eddie wants to play along, but he knows how quickly it can all go bad so, “Baby, please. Stevie, what are they tapping into? We don’t have a landline.”
Steve pauses to think and then peaks back out through the blinds. He mutters, “You don’t know how wiretaps work?”
“Do you?”
Steve just purses his lips and looks even harder out the window which is just Steve-speak for ‘no, actually. I don’t know how wiretaps works because no one does.’ It makes Eddie grin, sliding up behind him and whispering in his ear, “Don’t you think one of our half dozen nosy neighbors would’ve told us if someone was spying on us?”
“Not if-“
“Baby, Diane came over twice last week because she saw a suspicious car in our driveway,” Eddie hums. “It was our car, Steve.”
Steve relaxes back against his chest a little but he knows the battle is not yet won so, Eddie adds, “Sweetheart, think about it. They’d know.”
“That’s true,” Steve relents just a little and then says, “Unless one of our neighbors is a spy.”
“No, baby.”
“Like a nosy neighbor that’s always in our business,” Steve continues, building confidence. “And who has always been in our business ever since we moved in…and who is talking to the electric company people right now.”
Eddie looks out through the peak in the blinds Steve is making and watches as Diane makes her way down her driveway in her pink house shoes, waving at the man halfway up the telephone pole. She calls something up at him but they’re too far away to hear it.
He can feel Steve pull away and Eddie thinks, damn it.
“Well, that friendship was good while it lasted.”
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angel-kyo · 4 months
Text
Pay it no mind
Part VI
In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).
Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is an implication of reader dying (but they don't).
Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V
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When you entered the coffee shop, Haruki was already sitting at a table in the corner.
He got up to greet you when he saw you approaching. “Did you have any trouble to find this place?”
You sat in front of him. “Not really. I actually had been nearby some days ago for work and saw it,” you replied.
He smiled. “Oh, does being a teacher involve much work outside the school?”
So, the work part had not been a lie, but being a little more explicit, you had been exorcising a curse. Of course, you could not tell him that.
You smiled back. “I don’t know about other schools, but sometimes we have to run errands here and there.” Haruki nodded, and you decided to change the subject before he could dig further. “Anyway, should we order?”
Over iced coffee and tea, you and Ikeda caught up on pretty much everything you had missed during your years apart. The elderly uncle he had moved in with years ago had passed away just before he finished high school, so with no family left in the country other than his avoidant father, he had gone to study abroad. He had returned to Japan to work for a big company in Osaka, but then he had been transferred to Tokyo, which led him to getting a small apartment there, which eventually led him to you.
You watched him sip his tea and place it back on the table.
Time really goes by quickly. It wasn’t that long ago we were at a similar place talking about the future and look at us. This is the future.
“You know? Back then, I wanted to come back after finishing high school, but it would have been so…” He moved his hands as if trying to grasp the right word.
“Complicated?” you offered. His lips curved.
“Not that it would have been easier anywhere, but I guess there really is a right time for everything, don’t you think? At least I got to see you again."
Ikeda was looking at you expectantly and you only nodded. He laughed. “Sorry, I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”
“No, not at all!” It was nice listening to him. “I was just thinking how great it is that you have accomplished so much.”
“Thank you, but I didn’t mean to get carried away. I just think it’s nice to be back.” He made a pause. “What about you, though? So, you graduated, stayed here and became a busy teacher… Maybe found your soulmate yet?”
You snorted, almost spilling your drink as you shook your head. “My… No.”
Your own reaction had made you laugh, but what had really gone through your mind was a much more disheartening memory: Satoru's forced smile when you told him you liked him.
Ikeda smiled at your reaction. “What about your friends? Are you still close with those guys you used to hang with? The girl that used to come with you every time and the other two?”
“Shoko is a doctor now.” You smiled and looked through the window; it looked like it would rain. “About Geto…”
They did their best to cover it up, but you might have heard about an incident in a village...
Haruki watched your gazed had saddened, and he could infer it was not a pleasant subject, so he tried to facilitate a response “You drifted apart? That happened to me and many of my friends...”
Your eyes returned to his. “Yes… We don’t really talk anymore.”
That sounded better than saying ‘our friendship became complicated after he turned into a mass murderer and curse user.'
Haruki’s smile was apologetic. In his memory, Geto seemed to have been a nice guy, and from your expression, he could tell that, for whatever reason it happened, letting him go had hurt you.
It must be inevitable that people part ways even when they don’t want to, he thought.
Now, he was not sure if he should ask about the other guy. Would that sadden you too?
“I am still friends with Gojo, though. You remember him?”
He nodded. Of course, how could he forget about him?
You continued. “Actually, we work together. He is a teacher too.”
“Oh, well, that’s...” he was not sure how to put it, “...that’s interesting.”
He could not help but wonder what kind of teacher Gojo had become. Thinking it backwards, Gojo had always been throwing annoyed looks at him. No, that white-haired kid had not looked like teacher material at all back then.
Haruki was not dumb. He always knew Gojo disliked him, and that the reason was pretty much related to you, but it had been only once that your friend had confronted him directly. Would Gojo have told you about it? He figured probably not, and even if he had, the past is in the past.
***
“This was fun,” you told Haruki as you walked to the station.
“It really was”, he agreed. “Maybe we could go to where I used to work next time. You know, for good old times’ sake.”
“You should bring your apron!” You grinned and looked at the sky, “But sure, we should go, if it’s still there, that is.”
At the entrance of the station, Haruki told you he could walk to his apartment from there, so you said goodbye.
The day had been full of memories and, although overall it was nice to reminisce, it had left you exhausted, so you decided to go to bed early.
Maybe tonight you could dream of a softer time, before Shoko looked so tired, before Suguru slipped away, and before Satoru had to shoulder alone the burdens of the strongest.
As the raindrops tapped on your window, you slumbered into the memory of a young group of students laughing and running under the rain.
***
“[name].” Someone was tapping your forehead. “[name].”
Your eyes opened to be met with a pair of blue ones.
“Oh, good, you woke up.” Gojo shot you a smile. He was standing next to your bed, bending over you.
Slowly, your head turned to look at the time on your nightstand watch. It was 6:02 am.
Huh, he started being annoying earlier than usual.
Still laying down, you saw him straighten up. “I need your help with something.”
“It better be urgent, or I’ll have to ask you to return that key I gave you.”
You knew that would not be of much use anyway. Before giving him a spare key to your apartment ‘for emergencies’, Satoru would just teleport inside whenever he thought the situation called for it, which was basically whenever he wanted.
Of course, he did not use his key just for emergencies, but at least you had gotten him to use the front door since then. And he had looked so glad you had given him a spare key and even gave you one to his place, that you did not really have the heart to ask him to give it back despite his unnecessary intrusions.
He grinned. “We need to pick Shoko’s birthday present.”
There was going to be a small gathering that day to celebrate your friend’s birthday. She had insisted on not making a fuss about it, but she did say in a half serious tone that presents were mandatory. You had gotten her a bottle of that rare wine she liked a month ago in anticipation of this day, but apparently, Gojo had waited until the very last minute to get her something.
You turned in your bed and closed your eyes again. “That is not an emergency.”
“I just did not know what to get her. She was not thrilled with my choice last year, so I thought…” Gojo sat on your bed and went on rambling about how he had carefully picked Shoko’s present on a trip last year and how rude it had been of her to call it ‘ugly’ in front of him.
“What is this?” Shoko’s face had been unreadable, but judging by the way she was holding it, she was not pleased.
“I got it during my last trip. It is believed to bring good luck to your home, and you can put it in your living room so it…”
“Of course not. This is too ugly to be left where people can see it," Shoko had sentenced.
You sighed. “Fine. I will help you, but I need some more sleep first.”
“It’s a deal then. We will take a quick nap and then go. What do you think we should get her?” Despite being with your back to him, you could feel him laying down and accommodating closer to you.
It had been a while since you two had shared a bed. Yours was particularly small, so one of you would always take the futon or the sofa if he wanted to 'stay for a nap'.
“What are you doing?” you asked softly.
There was silence for a second and you thought he had caught up with the situation he was putting both of you in, but then he replied “Your bed is more comfortable. Besides, it’ll be just a minute, right?"
You were going to protest, but he continued. “I had a rough night.” His tone was lower now. “Indulge me this time, can you?”
You knew he had been on a mission last night, however, no matter how gruesome, it was not like him to complain about it, let alone seek comfort in others, at least, it had not been like that in a long time.
Would it be okay to comfort him as when we were kids?
You turned to face him. He was laying on his side already looking at you.
When you put your hand over his, Satoru was reminded of how you used to hold hands when things were rather unpleasant at his family’s state. It was a gesture of reassurance; you holding his hand was proof that he was not alone. He had never told you but there were times when he thought your hand had tied him to reality, it had kept him human, and he had loved you for it.
“I…”
“Sleep then. You probably need it,” you interrupted him and closed your eyes.
Would it be okay for him to tell you he loved you or would it make things awkward again? Would it still make you hurt because he had not reciprocated your feelings weeks ago?
In truth, he had not come so early because of Ieiri's present. He had done it because the curse he had encountered last night had gotten to him.
He had been told that thing was not really strong, but it could show people illusions of those dear to them dying in front of their eyes; it was the fear the victim would experience at that time what would make the curse stronger. Gojo had not expected to see you, but he did; and although he had snapped out of it almost immediately, it had been enough to make him rush to you as soon as he had finished the mission and changed clothes.
But now, with his hand in yours, Satoru closed his eyes, feeling a little more at ease.
----------------------
Note: Huh... I thought this one would be shorter. Sorry.
Thank you for reading!
Next: Part VII
@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha
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booksandabeer · 4 months
Text
Ramblings on Fandom: Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, Delusional Shippers, and Alleged Misogyny
So with the release of Season 2 of What If…? emotions are once again running high, the outrage is outraging, and people are up in arms about the whole Captain Carter situation. While I do think that some reactions are a little overblown, even needlessly aggressive in tone to the unfortunate detriment of their otherwise convincing arguments, I share the confusion and frustration about the sudden centering of a long-dead & never excessively popular character, the sidelining of the Steve-Bucky friendship, and the as-inexplicable-as-it-is-total exclusion of Sam Wilson as Captain America. However, I’m not here to talk about the show because (1) I haven’t watched this season and have no plans to (why waste time torturing myself with something I know I’ll hate?) and (2) other people have already written dozens of metas about it, so what could I possibly add at this point.
What I do want need to talk about (lest I explode) is something that has irritated me for a long time and that is now happening again: Every time someone even mildly criticizes Peggy Carter, expresses doubts about her suitability as a heroine, or even just questions her disproportionate importance to the franchise post-EG, inevitably a certain section of fans will come out of the woodwork to immediately throw around accusations of misogyny and yell about how we’re all just a bunch of delusional Stuckies who are mad that she got "in the way" of our ship. Sigh.
This is gonna be a long one, so I’ll put it under a cut. Rant incoming. You've been warned. If you don't want to read, simply scroll on by.
First of all, let me state very clearly that I’m not debating the existence of misogyny and sexism in fandom spaces—or in the media from which these fandoms originate. At all. It exists, it’s a thing, I’m not denying that. Which is exactly why it frustrates me endlessly to see these accusations thrown around as a gotcha! argument to shut down any and all critical debate around a female character. All it does in the end is escalate rhetoric and radicalize attitudes.  
In the case of Peggy Carter, specifically her treatment by Stucky shippers, I’ve always found 'misogyny as a motive' to be a largely unsubstantiated accusation.¹ Now, I neither presume nor do I want to speak for the entirety of Stuckynation, so I will not claim that there aren't corners of the fandom where people discuss her in ways that I find off-putting and deeply unserious, but I will say this: If you genuinely believe that disliking one (1) fictional female character equals “hating all women” and wanting to suppress and marginalize their presence in fiction and real life alike—then I think we need to take that word away from you until you’ve learned its true meaning.
You might also want to ask yourself how exactly reducing a female character to a mute trophy wife or a heroine who has to act out her love interest’s recycled storylines helps your feminist fight.
As to the “standing in the way of your ship” part of the argument. Very simply put: No character can stand in the way of something if there never ever was “a way” to that something to begin with. “Being mad” implies that there was a reasonable expectation that wasn’t met, a substantive hope that was crushed. Now, I’ve said this before and I’ll gladly say it again a million more times: No Stucky shipper in their right mind ever truly thought that there was even the slightest chance that Marvel Studios owned by the Walt Disney Company would allow Steve “Captain America” Rogers and Bucky “Winter Soldier” Barnes to be canonized as an explicitly romantic pairing in their billion dollar franchise. Be serious. That was never in the cards. I wish we all lived in a world where it was, but we don’t, and it wasn’t. The best we could ever hope for was for Steve and Bucky to get a good, satisfying, in-character ending. And if, in Steve’s case, that would’ve included hints (or more) about a possible rekindling of his, uh, aborted romance with Sharon—then so be it. But we never got any of that. The characters never got any of that. Instead they sent Steve into 1950s suburban hell, literally trapped him behind a white picket fence, and condemned him to a life of passivity and lies, all so he could be married to a woman he barely knew a long time ago in a completely different world; who built and ran a top-to-bottom Hydra-infested organization, but apparently never noticed that there was anything wrong with her life's work. For decades. Great. As for Bucky—well, we’ve all seen the devastatingly grim-faced, utterly lonely, and deeply sad version of him that was presented to us in TFATWS. Happy endings all around, I guess.
So. Am I mad that Steve didn’t get to ride into the rainbow-colored sunset with Bucky at the end of EG? No. Because that was never going to happen anyway. Would I have been mad had he ended up with Sharon or another female character in the 21st century? Also no. Granted, I wouldn’t have been ecstatic about it, but mad? No. But am I mad that Steve ended up with this specific female character under these specific circumstances as presented in canon? Fuck yeah, I am.
The thing is: I personally believe Steve and Peggy to be fundamentally incompatible when it comes to the way they view the world and their respective places in it; their morals and values; their capacity for compassion and empathy; their ability and willingness to compartmentalize, compromise, and collaborate with people and institutions whose ethics and/or politics do not align with their own. I have a real hard time believing that a relationship between these two (or worse, a hasty marriage) could be either happy or long-lasting.
I don’t believe Peggy to be inherently evil, I don’t hate her, I simply think she operates within a different moral framework than Steve (and even genuinely believes it to be a righteous one).² Your mileage may vary, but I personally happen to find that framework reprehensible, even indecent, and ultimately dangerous. After all, over the course of the 20th century, we have seen exactly where that kind of “the ends justify the means” brand of pragmatism leads—over and over again. Not to mention that the people who use this line of argument to defend characters like Peggy (or real-life politicians for that matter) never seem to want to look too closely at who gets to define what "the ends" are in the first place and who decides when they've finally been met.
(Never. The answer is never.)
And to be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with depicting, and even centering a narrative around a morally (dark)gray character—oftentimes it’s actually the more interesting option—but you cannot at the same time claim that they are purely good and should be only admired as such when their actions literally tell an entirely different story.
So, no. I will not accept Peggy Carter as the shining aspirational heroine that the MCU so badly wants to sell her to me as—while simultaneously continuing to reveal things that paint an increasingly darker picture of her character. And I will certainly not celebrate seeing one of my favorite characters of all time—whose defining trait was that he couldn't ignore "a situation pointed south"; who used to fight for the little guy and against the establishment; who once said about the very organization that Peggy Carter helped build that it was so corrupt, it all needed to go—rendered morally inert for some hollow happy ending that may as well be a conservative’s wet dream full of false nostalgia for an America that never really existed. I cannot find it in me to be anything less but mad about that.
But that does not make me a misogynist. It does not make me a delusional shipper. It makes me someone who looks at what the MCU has been telling me about Peggy Carter for years now—over and over again—and takes it at its own word.
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¹ If you’ve actually read a a fair number of Stucky(!) fanfics you will have noticed that the reverence afforded to and "page time" devoted to her character and her relationship with Steve is somewhat disproportionate to anything that's backed up by canon—well, up until EG, where she was suddenly reanimated as The Great Love of Steve’s Life—and in my experience, it's highly unusual for any fandom to put so much (mostly) positive attention on another character, let alone a potential love interest that is not part of the endgame ship.
² I also want to emphasize that if you love Peggy and she's your fave: good for you! I genuinely have no beef with you. People can agree to disagree. All I ask for is that we maybe stop willfully ignoring the less savory aspects of her character. You don't need to pretend she's perfect to justify your affection for her. I LOVE Steve, and yet I have no problem conceding that he is FAR from perfect.
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littlespoonevan · 6 days
Note
I watched the first three seasons of 911 back when that was all that had aired and just didn’t keep watching after the break between seasons for whatever reason. I also didn’t really get buddie, I just thought it was a beautiful friendship. I’m now on a rewatch and just got to the end of season 4 and boy am I all in, Buck’s reaction to Eddie getting shot and the aftermath really made me get it. Anyway, I was wondering if you have any fic recs for a buddie newbie? I’m probably gonna speed through the rest of the show in a few days and need something else to occupy me hahah
hey bud, welcome back to the world of 911!! 🥰 okay so i have some previous fic recs that i've posted here and i also have 489 bookmarks on ao3 which you can have a scroll through here (i only ever bookmark something for rereading or reccing purposes so can confirm i've read and loved them all)
but i'll do my best to make a somewhat cohesive list below of some of my personal faves. i have no doubt i'll probably leave some out accidentally but they'll definitely be in my bookmarks so 100% check those out too!! ❤️
The Nearness of You by allisonRW96 / @homerforsure
Eddie reassured himself that he could do this. Other teams coming in were probably going to be staying at the same hotel in the same double rooms and it was very possible that none of them were going to be having sex. Or even lying awake at night thinking about it. Or: Buck and Eddie go on a work trip.
Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania / @hmslusitania
“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says. “Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says. “I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies. “Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.” -- An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.
To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels /@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak: Marry Buck.
standing on the brink of emptiness by woodchoc_magnum / @woodchoc-magnum
In which Eddie is struggling in the aftermath of being shot, learning how to take care of himself and realising he's in love with Buck; and Buck is dating Taylor, taking care of Eddie and Christopher and trying to figure out why he's so goddamn confused about everything.
across our great divide (a glorious sunrise) by catchingpapermoons 
“We’re working on it,” Maddie explains, shooting Chimney a look. He nods seriously. “In couples therapy.” “Huh,” Eddie says, and then he thinks about it. "Do you think Buck and I would benefit from couples therapy?" — or, Eddie gets Buck to come to couples therapy with him.
darling, the future's better than yesterday by rarakiplin (gmontys)
Eddie, ten years younger, in this awful 2010, blinks up at him. He's still sitting slumped on the curb, and for a second Buck thinks he might tell him to fuck off, but then his eyes fall shut and there’s something — aching and painfully vulnerable in the bend of his mouth, the faint tension in his brow. “My…um, girlfriend, I guess. She’s pregnant.” “Holy shit,” Buck says. - or, buck deals with some wonky dimensional/time travel and then breaks up with his girlfriend. eddie, obviously, is involved.
i'm here (i’m yours for the taking) by farfromthstars / @buckactuallys
“Everyone!” Around forty heads turn, and Buck shifts on his feet uncomfortably at the attention. “This is my old friend Buck and his husband, Eddie.” “Uh,” Buck makes, turning to Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie's looking just as stunned. “Connor, I think you got–” He cuts himself off when Eddie wraps an arm around his waist. ~ at the winter wedding of an old friend, buck and eddie pretend to be married to each other. the plan has no weaknesses, obviously, not even mistletoe or anyone’s secret feelings… they call it the season of giving i'm here, i'm yours for the taking
Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
In 1880, Evan Buckley of the arriviste set is sent out west to oversee his family's railroad and recover from a broken heart - and meets Eddie Diaz, cowboy. When fate tears them apart, they make a promise: find each other again. In 2018, Buck walks into his fire station in Los Angeles - and meets Eddie Diaz, new recruit.
no kingdom to come by waywardrenegades
Family, FaceTime, guilt trips, phone calls, church, heart healthy meals, and learning how to let yourself be happy. Whatever that looks like. or; when his father experiences a health scare, Eddie flies to El Paso.
when i was shipwrecked (i thought of you) by catchingpapermoons 
Buck walks toward Jee-Yun’s room, still talking, and Christopher trails after him, asking excited questions in response, and Eddie’s smile grows. He wants this forever. Everything, every part of it; Buck, Christopher, and him—that’s all he needs. And— Oh. Oh no. He shuts his eyes for a moment, inhaling sharply. He’s looking at Buck, and feeling something strictly not platonic at all. or: Eddie needs to learn how to let himself feel, and one step at a time, he learns how to do just that. (And he falls in love with Buck along the way.)
i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove / @hattalove
She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.
everything's coming up milhouse by hammersmiths / @bucktommys
LAFD Updates (@L*A*F*D_Metro) LAFD Alert: Red-level traffic on Gardiner Road this morning. If you are trying to get into the city centre consider taking Westerley Lane. buck 🔥🔥 (@firebuck) so true bestie or, Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.
said i couldn't stay, but it's different now by hattalove
“I think,” he says, watching Karen pull Hen out onto the dance floor, their eyes never leaving each other’s, “I think I’m just—sad.” Maybe. That feels like a close enough word to describe this gaping maw right in the center of his chest. It’s only really there sometimes, taking little bites out of him, easy enough to ignore, but today is worse. “About being single at a wedding,” Eddie says, not a question. Buck shrugs. “Sounds stupid when you put it that way.” or, the one with the four weddings (feat. a drunk karen wilson, shania twain, a single cheerio, and some confessions over cubed fruit).
cause i'm tired of sleeping alone by rarakiplin (gmontys)
Buck goes on dates now. Not often, and never with the same girl twice in a row, but he goes on dates. And the thing is — the thing is, Eddie can’t be mad about that, because he goes on dates too. - or, five (ish) times eddie and buck go on dates with other people, and one time they go on a date with each other
so far from being free by allisonRW96
"That’s Daniel. He was our brother. Buck doesn’t know what to do with the past tense. He never had a brother. He’s always had a brother. He gained one and lost one in the same breath and it feels impossible. But even if Buck was capable of doubting Maddie, the truth of her confession is evident in the way it throws every facet of his childhood into sudden perfect clarity. That yawning, arctic absence. The unnamable fear. The impenetrable target of his parents’ approval that he was never, ever going to be able to hit. That they didn’t want him to hit. He has a brother. A dead brother who has haunted Buck’s steps for his entire life."
don't let the tide come and wash us away by writerforlife
Buck develops a relationship with the ocean, avoids talking about the day Eddie was shot, realizes he might be in love, and drives. Order may vary. (a fic for the "Buck is going to break all the way down in season 6" truthers)
dance, for all that we've been through by catchingpapermoons 
The Los Angeles Ballet’s 2022-2023 season ends with a bang with their fresh take on a ballet staple, Swan Lake. Artistic Director Bobby Nash is in his eighth season with the Los Angeles Ballet, and it has flourished under his direction. However, his associate, Eddie Diaz, is the one whose reimagining of the choreography has caught our attention... (or, Eddie Diaz moves to L.A. to restart his dance career, and ends up choreographing a show, finding a family, and falling in love. Not necessarily in that order.)
I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other. When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker. Or, in which Buck and Eddie love each other before they know each other, and know each other before they love each other.
never felt this way before (yes i swear) by withoutthetiger
It’s the summer of 2022, when Buck no longer wants to be called Evan, and it only occurs to his parents to mind. It’s after the pandemic – or so they say – and before whatever hell will befall the world next, when Buck can’t wait to join the LAFD in September, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever meet someone as gently strong and fiercely protective as his big sister. It’s the summer he goes with his family to the One Eighteen Ranch & Lodge. *** A Dirty Dancing AU, set in Texas in 2022, featuring a whole lot of familiar faces in a not so familiar place.
Fragile lines (and wasted time) by Mellaithwen / @mellaithwen
“Hey Buck,” Christopher says a little shyly, before reaching out to grab Buck’s foot through the hospital blankets—shaking it in the same way he’s woken his father up on many a bleary-eyed morning. The familiarity of the gesture makes Eddie’s head spin. But of course, there’s no response from the comatose man on the bed. “I thought you said he was sleeping,” Chris mumbles, angrily swiping at his cheeks, and Eddie’s already broken heart shatters all over again for whatever hope his son had just lost when his expectations were so cruelly dashed. . While Buck sleeps, and dreams in the aftermath of the lightning strike, Eddie tries desperately to hold himself together.
Don't Take the Money by HMSLusitania
“You know, being stuck here isn’t actually the end of the world,” Chimney says, coming up to the table and picking up one of the smoke detectors. “It just feels like it, Buck. Trust me, I know.” “I’m pretty sure it might actually be the end of the world,” Buck says. “Considering this is the sixth time I’ve lived this day.” Chimney stares at him for a beat and then his eyebrows lift. “Wait, are you like – dude, are you in Groundhog Day?” OR The post-lawsuit time-loop AU literally no one asked for.
keep your eyes on the road by iriswests / @fcntasmas
Buck used to speed through yellow lights; now they’re his favorite part of the drive. -- or; a glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light
Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston
The ghost would prefer to go by Buck, if Eddie wouldn’t mind. +++ [Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)
as lucky as us by hammersmiths
One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier. “I mean, I get it,” Buck’s saying, overhead, and Ravi’s knee-deep in literal human crap and even he can smell that shit from a mile away. “You and Tommy have a lot in common.” or, Ravi continually suffers as a third-wheel.
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joeys-babe · 4 months
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Joey B Imagines: You’re My Best Friend
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Summary: You and Joe have been best friends for as long as you both can remember, but maybe it’s more than friendship.
Warnings: fluff
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
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*No specific date for this fic!*
Imagine getting dumped a week before your birthday.
Lucky me I don't have to imagine.
I was stupid to think things had been going even a little good with the guy I was seeing but I just wanted to prove my best friend wrong.
My best friend since diapers that is.
Having Joe Burrow as your best friend should be a flex but it was a curse.
We couldn't go out in public anymore and I stopped going to his games since his rookie year because of a rumor that I was his girlfriend.
Joe was super apologetic about it but refused to make a statement saying that we weren't together.
It ended up being a huge argument that wouldn't be resolved til weeks later… but now Joe and I were neck-deep into another quarrel.
My friend from high school told me that my ex-boyfriend from senior year had a mega glow-up. I reached out to him and though he had matured looks-wise… he was still the same douche he was years ago.
I was bored so why not entertain it for just a little bit?
That was a big mistake because I ended up developing real feelings for him.
That's when Joe and I had our argument.
He told me that it was a bad idea, but I told him he didn't know what was good for me. Both of us ended up saying words we wish we hadn't. Now Joe and I haven't talked for three weeks.
Our families would get together regularly but if Joe found out I was going he'd say he was busy, and vice versa.
Today was my 26th birthday, oh and that's another thing about Joe. He loved bringing up that he was older than me.
I had invited him to the party today even though we were in the middle of a fight because it wouldn't be the same without him nonetheless.
Joe hadn't sent a message back or even reacted to the message, just left it on read.
There was a pretty low chance of him even coming, but I wanted him to have the option to come if he wanted.
——
I sat in the kitchen, looking through the window over the sink at the backyard decorated and full of people.
Except the one person I wanted here, wasn't here.
“Sweetie…” - your mom walked up behind you and squeezed your shoulder
“He actually didn't come, Mom. Joe hasn't ever missed one of my birthday parties. Have I gone too far?” - you
“You haven't done anything wrong, honey. Have you told him about Chad breaking up with you? That might make him a little happy.” - your mom
“Why’d that make him happy?” - you rolled your eyes
“y/n… because he didn't want you guys together for a reason.” - your mom smiled
“He just didn't like Chad.” - you sighed
“I don’t think you're reading into this enough. I've seen the way you guys look at each other, and it's not in a best-friend way. Don't you think it's kinda odd he’s always gotten mad when you go on a date with a guy or get a boyfriend? There's something there that isn't purely platonic, and it's not one-sided either, y/n. I think he feels the same way about you that you feel about him.” - your mom
The way I feel about him.
The feelings that had slowly turned from friendship to finding him attractive to having a full-blown crush on him. It didn't happen in just a month or even a year, this has been going on since OSU.
I've never even thought about confessing to him because it just felt like a one-in-a-million chance that he felt the same way. I'm his best friend or was, there's no way he likes me.
My mom ended up making me go outside to socialize with my family and close friends who were basically family… minus one.
——
There was a part of me that had hope that Joe was going to come but now that I had changed out of my party outfit and was helping my mom clean up, all hope was gone.
I had my back turned to the door taking the Happy Birthday banner so when I heard the sliding door I figured it was my dad.
“Hope I'm not too late.” - Joe
My heart stopped when I heard the last voice I expected to hear. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mom give me a wink before she walked back inside.
Turning around to face Joe, he stood in front of me with a tower of gifts in his hands.
“Parties already over Joe might as well just go home.” - you
“Listen… I had full intentions of coming but I was working out and l lost track of time. There was this pee-wee football team who all wanted pictures with me and I gave them a little speech. Anyway, the moral of the story is… I’m so sorry that I'm late and have been such a jerk the past couple of weeks. I hope you'll forgive me because it's not fun going a long time without talking to you. Happy Birthday… by the way.” - Joe
Without saying a word I took the gifts from Joe’s hands and placed them on the table I was cleaning off.
“I deserve th-” - Joe
Before he could finish his sentence I engulfed him in a huge hug.
“I missed you.” - you
Joe was tense at first but relaxed and cradled the back of my head against his strong chest.
“I missed you too… so much.” - Joe
“I’m glad you came.” - you mumbled
“Me too.” - Joe
We stayed there for a moment, way too long of a hug for ‘best friends’.
“I have something to tell you.” - you
“Me too, but can I go first?” - Joe
I nodded and Joe forged ahead, our arms still around each other.
“I’m sorry about how I acted about Chad, as long as you're happy then I’m happy, and if he makes you feel that way then so be it. Maybe you're right too, maybe he has changed. I shouldn't judge someone off of their past.” - Joe
“Joe I appreciate your apology but he broke up with me a week ago, that's what I was going to tell you.” - you
“Oh. I'm sorry… I hope it wasn't messy. Are you okay?” - Joe
“I’m fine. Just sucks that yet another guy has driven me closer to losing faith in the male species.” - you
“Maybe you're just not dating the right guys. There's someone out there who will show you true love, I'm sure of it.” - Joe
His words made me feel hopeful and sad at the same time. Joe believed that there was someone out there who was right for me, but I wanted it to be him.
“Thanks, Joe.” - you
“Mhm. He might be closer to you than you think…” - Joe
I looked up at him with a skeptical look on my face, but he looked serious.
“What do you mean?” - you gulped
Joe tugged at my waist and looked down at me with such a twinkle in his eyes.
“y/n… you're my best friend.” - Joe
“Mhm…” - you
“I need to tell you the truth then.” - Joe
“Joe… what?” - you
“I wasn't pissed off that you went out with Chad because I thought he'd hurt you… I was pissed because you wanted to go out with him.” - Joe
“Wh… what?” - you
“For as long as I can remember I've just been your best friend, the guy you go to complain about other guys, and I can't take it anymore.” - Joe
He tried to read my expression but when he got nothing, he dropped his arms from my waist and nervously played with his wristbands as he kept going.
“I know it sounds like a stupid Hallmark movie line… but I don't want you to keep getting hurt when there's someone who can treat you so much better right at your fingertips.” - Joe
“Who, Joe? You keep saying that but won't say who.” - you sighed
“Me! Me, y/n. I've been hopelessly in love with you for years while I just stood to the side and watched you look for love in the wrong faces. This might ruin our friendship but it's not fair if I don't tell you… I want to be more than just your best friend.” - Joe
My jaw dropped open as my heart rate rapidly increased. He felt the same way?
“You’re in love with me?” - you
“Yes, and I'm sorry if that makes things awkward… I just really want to show you that not all men are pieces of shit.” - Joe
I stood up on my tiptoes and crashed my lips into his. Joe was taken aback at first but kissed back with just as much passion.
Joe wrapped his strong arms around my waist and held me against him as we kissed. Neither one of us wanted to be the one to break away first.
In the end, I did. I needed to say those words back to him.
“Joe, I'm in love with you too.” - you
“Yeah?” - Joe smiled
“Have been for a long time, I just was worried you didn't feel the same way and it would ruin our friendship to confess.” - you
He flashed that perfect smile at me and laced his fingers with mine.
“Can I kiss you again?” - Joe
“Go for it.” - you smiled
Joe pushed me into him by my hips and my hands went to his chest.
“Everything okay out her- oh my!” - your mom
Though I'm sure Joe heard her just as well as I did, we didn't break away from each other and went on claiming each other’s lips.
When Joe and I finally did disengage from our kiss, we both laughed as he wiped his salvia off of my lips.
My arms wrapped around his middle and I laid my head on his shoulder.
“So I guess I can ask you what I've been dreaming about asking you for years.” - Joe
“Mhm.” - you grinned
“Wanna go out with me tomorrow?” - Joe
“As friends?” - you played dumb, just wanting to hear him say it
“I was thinking more of… boyfriend and girlfriend because we can skip the get-to-know-you stage right? Only if that's okay with you…” - Joe
I pulled my head away from his chest and kissed his soft, freshly shaven cheek.
“That sounds perfect to me.” - you looked into those gorgeous blue eyes you've come to be obsessed with
“Will you be my girlfriend?” - Joe
“Only if you'll be my boyfriend.” - you
“Sounds like a deal.” - Joe
Joe and I stepped away from each other before we shook hands in agreement, something we'd done to solve things since we were little.
We laughed together as we walked up to the back door hand in hand, happy that we'd probably resolved the arguing for the time being.
As we opened the door it revealed both of our moms standing there in a pose that looked like they had their ears on the door just a few seconds ago.
“Yes?” - you
“Can we help you?” - Joe
“What's going on with you two?” - Robin
“Yeah, what she said. What does this hand-holding mean?” - your mom
Joe and I exchanged a look and nonchalantly shrugged before he spoke up.
“We’re dating.” - Joe
“What?!” - your mom’s in sync
“How’d this happen? You guys have been fighting for weeks.” - your mom
“It just kinda happened.” - you shrugged
Robin and my mom looked at each other skeptically.
“Are you sure you guys aren't rushing things just a little bit?” - Robin
“Mom, I've never been more sure about anything else in my life.” - Joe
I looked at him with a surprised look on my face, he only winked with a wide grin and reassuringly squeezed my hand.
“Me too.” - you
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Authors note: on the 7th day of Christmassssss y'all got whatever this is. I really wanted this to end in smut but I need to control myself. 💀
Request for this fic; thank you anon! 🤍
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ROUND 4 MATCH 1
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Qiu propaganda:
“i love them sooooo much i was completely head over heels for cove but then i found out about qiu lin and ol2 and they took that spot in my brain IMMEDIATELY. that should say enough. also i just really want them to win this time </3”
“They're my beloved :] and also the only OL character not disqualified so I had to hdjdbdj I just wanna see how far they can go now :]”
“Genderfluid ADHD monarch. They enjoy mountain biking and ballet. As a kid, if they're set to Crush, they'll desperately try to find a way to link the MC's favorite color to themselves in an attempt to impress. They're the most popular kid in town and for good reason. Can be sharp as a tack, especially in social situations, but also can be so endearingly stupid.”
“Listen. Listen to me. Here's why Qiu Lin deserves the win (ha)
- They're a trans POC love interest (specifically genderfluid and chinese-american)
- They spend a lot of time in Step 1 (the first part of the game where everyone is a kid) being super nice and trying to accommodate for you
- They specifically try super hard to bring you (and Tamarack) into their already established friendship group
- (It doesn't work out super well initially but they're trying, be nice)
- Qiu's also just. Super sweet when you're set to have a crush on them in Step 1
- Like, their word count almost doubles when they have a crush on your MC
- There's one part of the game where you can bring up your favourite colour
- On a friendship route (or if you're set to neighbours), Qiu will maybe make a short comment about something related to your favourite colour
- On crush? Qiu stretches so far to tie your favourite colour back themself. Your favourite colour is green? That's the colour of their jacket!!! It's black? Like their bike, did they mention their cool bike!!! It's white, [imagine this is in italics] the inside of their house (no, really)!!! [end of imagining this is italics]
- They're also set to have an arc about much they accommodate for others and how they go from over accommodation in Step 1 to no accommodation in Step 2 to finding a balance in Step 3
- Also, like, they do in fact go through gender identity issues. In fact, they spend Step 2 not quite knowing their gender identity fully
Now, vote for Qiu!!!!”
"Genderfluid and uses they/he pronouns.
Their hobbies are mountain biking and ballet.
Most popular kid in town by, like, a mile. And for very good reason.
Immediately devotes themself to making sure their new neighbors (the MC and Tamarack) feel welcome in their new town.
Loooooves teasing their friends.
Is genuinely confused if the MC doesn't immediately consider them friends because. He considered you friends.
Not canonically ADHD (yet. things can change.) but like. The ADHD vibes are strong.
Forgetful and writes stuff down in a notepad to remember it, then proceeds to lose the notes. This happens constantly.
They have a whole arc about going from being overly accommodating and giving too much of themself to others, to closing off and not giving anything, to finding balance and figuring out how to be kind and caring without overexerting themselves.
Also, one of their closest friends is a trans woman. This is relevant simply because I love Renee and had to mention her."
Halsin propaganda:
“I haven't played the game but he's hot, and that's enough for me”
“Big sweet dude who’s a bit of a daddy and a bit horny. He’s also really chill and the potential poly route for this game, which datable games hardly ever do. Also, apparently he might not originally been meant to be a full companion and romance, but then people were so horny for him in Early Access they memed him into the full game like Sans Undertale in Smash? I think that should just say it all for why he should get in.”
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lunargrapejuice · 1 year
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could you really love me too?
kaveh x fem!reader | 2.4k + words
warnings: hurt/comfort, alcohol use, idiots to lovers <3
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you know you shouldn’t have looked. you shouldn’t have. not when you knew it would end up like this but you just couldn’t keep your eyes from following the bounce of soft blonde hair with his long strides to the bar or the way the silky strands rested against the pale skin of his back showing through his half open shirt. the wine against your tongue grew bitter watching pretty and slender fingers reaching for his shoulder while others twirled long hair as their owner batted long lashes and flashed a smile that was obnoxiously obvious in its intentions and infatuation but even though you wanted to look away, you couldn’t. 
kaveh could have anyone. the light of the kshahrewar, smart and talented, beautiful to boot, with a heart so big and an eye for romance that many thought was only written about in books. no one could possibly not fall for him and so easily, for so long, you have found yourself at the mercy of that love.
not that he knew that. no, he doesn't know how much your heart is knocking uncomfortably against your chest at the thought of him with someone else or that your entire being bursts into butterflied at the mere brush of your hands, which happened far too often, and you had no intention of telling him for more reasons that you can cont.
you can feel alhaithams eyes on you, studying and noticing every little bit of emotion that’s shown through your eyes. how could he not have seen when fuck you felt like you might actually cry right here and now, in the middle of lambads tavern, as you watched the scene of flirty students cozying up with kaveh while he waited for your drink refills. as much as you hated it right now, you loved when he smiled back at them, bright and big. you just wish it was back at you and not at them but bleh that thought didn’t make you feel much better. not when it filled you with shame.
“you know you could just tell him how you feel,” alhaitham says in his normal flat tone. you might have teased him for caring about what happens between you and his roommate if it weren’t for the emotions your overflowing with swallowing all of your wit.
you tear your eyes from kaveh, hearing the student talking with him laugh just a little too loud and glare at alhaitham with ice daggers that he found rather amusing on your pouty face.
he knew how you felt about kaveh, as your long time friend, over all this time, he found you rather easy to read and had been the one to introduce you to kaveh in the first place. and he normally wouldn’t get involved, it had been entertaining to watch you play this game of chicken with kaveh when alhaitham knew something you didn’t, but this had gone on long enough. by now anyone with two eyes and a brain not clouded in love could see how you felt about each other. at this point you were both being unreasonable and quite frankly stupid in the scribe's opinion.
“i can’t do that and you know it,” you snap at him but there's no real bite behind your words. you couldn’t tell him.. didn’t.. didn’t he deserve someone better.. smarter.. more accomplished.. more beaut-
“and why not? what do you have to lose?”
“besides my dignity?” you flash your eyes up at alhaitham just to tear them away again a second later, your gaze briefly coming across the architect on the other side of the room, catching the girl kaveh was speaking with leaning into his chest and tracing the stones that rested against his neck. “our friendship. him as a whole..” you continue, biting your bottom lip to stop it’s trembling. it’s fine.. as long as he was happy that’s what matters and- “at least this way he's in my life somehow.”
“is that really what you want?” alhaitham asks, crossing his arms, watching the processing of his question across your face and the true answer you probably weren’t going to share with him behind your eyes.
and he’d be right, you wouldn’t tell him because saying it outloud.. admitting it was tearing you apart to just be friends when you loved him, when you wanted to always be beside him in a way no one else could, never leaving him alone again.. no you couldn’t say it.. it was so selfish when he didn’t want the same with you.
“since when do you get involved in such things, huh?!” now there is actual venom in your words. not that he minds, it only confirms what alhaitham already knew. “it means nothing if he doesn’t..” your voice dies off and instead of finishing your thought you down the last of your drink, the bitter liquid joining the previous drinks that warm your cheeks and weaken the wall you normally keep these feelings well hidden behind.
alhaitham speaks, you hear his voice but the words hardly register in your mind when you find yourself the fool for the second time tonight when you chose to look again and see a sight that struck your walls so hard it crumbled them to dust, leaving your heart bleeding and bare; dainty white flat showing from under the traditional scholar robes as she stretches to reach for the same lips you’d longed to taste, eyes closing and kavehs grip on her shoulders. from the angle he had moved his expression was mostly hidden from you but that was probably for the best. 
“s-sorry alhaitham..i.. i gotta..” you stutter a broken apology as you reach into your bag before tossing a handful of mora on the table and making a b-line right for the door, not daring to look back and far from carrying how crazy you looked sprinting out the door and ignoring the shout following after you.
“y/n!”
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“what did you say to her?!” kaveh yells at the unbothered scribe sitting a few tables away from where he stood by the door, waiting to continue going after you. he had only been gone a few minutes and when he finally had the chance to tear his eyes away from the drunken scholar that was annoying him, after pushing her off of him when she got too handsy, he had only seen you talking with alhaitham.
neither of them care about the many eyes on them in the quiet bar.
“i wouldn’t be so quick to place incorrect blame,” alhaitham shrugs and takes a sip of his drink, pulling out a book from his pack.
“tch,” kaveh scoffs but he doesn’t have time to say much more, not if he was planning to catch up with you, your figure getting smaller and smaller in the distance when he makes it out the door and takes after you with a racing heart and worry pumping through his veins.
he had seen the tears you swiped from your eyes before you made it out the door and his chest ached at the thought of you crying alone.. didn’t you know that he would always be here so you would never have to be alone again? thats what you do when you.. when you love someone.
hes admitted it to himself before, even let it slip to alhaitham one drunken night at home but he had yet to admit to the one person it should have been said to.. and kaveh has no one to blame but himself. he had fallen for you so quickly, can’t help wanting to shower you in his love and sometimes doing more than he should as a friend because of it but he.. did he really deserve someone as wonderful as you? could he give you everything you want and more? is he.. enough for such an ethereal soul..
the city streets weren’t crowded, thank archons and the patrons that parted in your wake stayed to the side with kaveh chasing after you, both of your speeds increasing but his longer strides slowly but surely closing the distance.
over and over he calls your name, urgency in his voice but you only stop when you gets a hold of your wrist just as you make it to the outskirts of the city, no one but the birds and wildflowers around to hear your panting breaths, the dew drops of your tears catching on long blades of grass.
“go away kaveh!” you shout, turning around, eyes closed and trying to hide their wetness as you push against his heaving chest to get away.
“no,” his grip on you tightens but not enough to hurt, he would never hurt you but he couldn’t just let you go either, not when you were hurting.. not when you might need him.  “not until you tell me what's gotten into you. i’m worried you know?”
“honestly, why do you even care?” you try so hard to hide your broken voice but it's all to no avail. 
“w-what?” his chest tightens into knots that constrict painfully and you can hear it through his voice, feel his fingers around your wrist loosen in his shock. “what in the world are you talking about y/n?”
you pull your hand from his, shoving your other hand against his chest to put some distance between you, giving you the chance to get away because you were not holding it together at all right now and didn’t know how much more you could take. “just forget it!”
“hey!” he shouts, reaching out and grabbing your hand again, using his surprising strength to pull you into him, your face now resting against his exposed chest, his other arm wrapping around your middle to keep you pressed close. he can feel you shaking in his hold, knows it's your tears that are rolling down his chest and collecting on his shirt. “tell me..” he lets go of your hand in favor of cradling the back of your head, slender and calloused fingers getting lost in your hair. quiet and full of worry, his warm breath against your face thanks to the proximity you share, he tries again. “what's wrong? why are you running from me?”
“let me go.” you protest but don’t fight to get out of his hold. you let his scent envelope you, grip the thin fabric of his shirt when you finally stop resisting him so much. never let me go.. your heart echoes. 
he only tightens his embrace, the pads of his fingers on your back sinking further into your skin. he held you with care, like you might break in his hold but still he put his strength behind it, like it might hurt him too if you left in this state. “so unusually stubborn tonight y/n.” he doesn’t sound annoyed, he’s more admiring than anything, as he was with any part of you but after a moment, in a voice not nearly as sure, he asks “… have i done something to upset you?”
you swallow the lump in your throat, letting the warmth of him calm your tears, bringing a steady rhythm back to your breaths. while it did have to do with him, it wasn’t him.. he couldn’t help how adored he was and he wasn’t yours to covet or be jealous over. “no.. it wasn’t you..”
“then what was it hm? you can tell me anything, you know that."
“that just it kaveh..” you bury yourself further into his chest, as if it might hide you from him, not let your feelings be shown on your sleeve. “i.. i can’t tell you this..”
“why is that?” he’s so patient trying to coax it out of you, running his finger through your hair to help you calm, assure you it was okay. his own heart was erratic in your ears, telling you just how calm he was not. in his arms, where you would rather be than anywhere else in this world, with his undivided attention and worry, you felt your resolve slipping. 
“because.. what… what if you don’t feel the same.. what if i lose you forever..” you say it so quietly you wonder if he had heard it at all.
but of course he had heard, he was listening so closely to any sign of what could make your pain go away, how he could bring back your lovely smile. it wasn’t what he had expected to hear, though his entire being filled with warmth hearing it and his brain searched for any meaning behind your words aside from what his heart and soul knew was the truth. what he wanted to be true all along and now it was unfolding before him. 
you really had loved him back… 
“y/n-”
“don’t,” you interrupt on a choked sob. “i don’t..” don't want to hear how you don’t love me in the same way..
“won't you hear me out?” he asks, a softness in his tone that drew you from his chest to look into his eyes, that struck the match of hope deep within your heart. cupping your face, he wipes your tears, the moonlight glistening in his eyes making them look like silver fire capturing your own eyes, not wavering for a moment even through the thundering pulse in his veins and at the pink that begins to dust his cheeks, up the corners of his eyes and to the tips of his ears. 
you nod your head, unable to stop yourself from leaning into his touch, melting under his tender and flushed expression. his thumb brushes along your wet face, your eyes fluttering closed as he leans down and you feel his lips against your skin, a chaste kiss on the apple of your cheek that leaves a searing heat on you after he’s pulled away. he doesn’t go far, the warmth of his breath fanning against you, the deep calming breaths he takes against your chest, the tips of his hair tickling you like a ghost's touch.
“i love you more than you know,” i always have, but he’ll have plenty of time to tell you now that you know what is in his heart.. and what he hopes is in yours too.. “and every day i love you more still.”
“kaveh..” you eyes open slowly, more tears escaping them without your permission but you don’t mind. not when they’re tears of happiness. “i love you t-”
he doesn’t let you finish before his lips are on yours, soft yet claiming, with every ounce of your adoration for one another poured into it. the first kiss of many he would share with you from now on, the first kiss of many just tonight, to make up for all the times he wished he had and even more to promise their eternal love to you.
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genshin impact masterlist | main masterlist
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slasher-key · 10 months
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All I Wanted (Charlie Walker)
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I’m back bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pairing: Charlie Walker x GN!! Reader
Warnings: None a few curse words  
You and Charlie have been dating, well, fake dating for almost a month. At first it was just to make Kirby jealous. It worked for a while, but she got over it quickly. So why are you both still together?
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“Nothing beats the original Y/N, you cannot convince me that Friday the 13th 2009, is better than the original.” Charlie says, shoving a hand full of popcorn in his mouth. “I’m not trying to convince you, I’m just telling you that I prefer to watch that one because of Travis Van Winkle.” I reply, with a small laugh. Charlie and I have been doing horror movie nights since we were kids. Tonight we are watching the original Friday the 13th, and we have been arguing about the remake for half the movie already. “So you’re telling me you only like it for the guys?” Charlie asks “Well, no, but it is a plus, but I also like the Jason better, he’s scarier, faster, and he has better kills.” I reply. “Okay, fine I’ll give you that, but you can’t beat the original.” He says “whatever” I say, rolling my eyes at him. We go back to watching the movie and my mind drifts off.
I start to think about the past month, Charlie and I have been fake dating for about a month now. He asked me after a party where he found Kirby making out with some guy. It made him jealous, so he wanted to make her jealous. This lead him to buy all the snacks and pizza at our movie night, and ask me if I would help him make her jealous. We have been “together” for a month and Kirby hasn’t even blinked an eye toward him. But for some reason it feels very natural, it’s not awkward when he calls me pet names, or when he kisses me goodbye, even when he comes up behind me with his surprise hugs. It felt real sometimes, but then I have to remind myself that, it’s not. No matter how bad I want him.
“You okay love?” Charlie asks, I look over at him, and he has a concerned look on his face. “Yeah I’m fine, why do you ask?” I reply, trying my best to give off a weird vibe. “Well you didn’t do you usual rant about them killing off Kevin Bacon after his death scene, and you’ve barely touched any of the snacks I bought, I know how much you love your gummy worms,” He says. 
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t think of a lie fast enough. I can’t tell him I want to be his real girlfriend and not his fake one. Not only will it ruin what we have now, but he still likes Kirby. “Y/N just tell me what’s going on, I’m worried about you,” he says. whipping the few tears that fell from my eyes. I just want to yell at him and tell him “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU STUPID”. Charlie’s eyes go wide “wait what?” he says, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. “I didn’t mean to say that, Charlie I’m so sorry,” I say cutting him off. “No don’t be sorry, look at me and tell me what you meant, you don’t have to keep anything from me,” he says, lifting my chin with his finger to make me look at him. “Tell me Y/N” he says. here goes nothing.
“Well, I liked you for a long time when we were younger, but I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. Then we got to high school, and you had this huge crush on Kirby. So I wanted to help you so you could be happy, but now we’ve been doing this whole fake dating thing for almost a whole month, and I can’t take it anymore. It all feels so real, and I love it. But then I realize that it isn’t, and you’re not really mine. It’s all just for you to get with Kirby. So yeah my feeling are a little hurt, but it’s whatever as long as you get you happy ending with Kirby.” I ramble, I sound like a fucking idiot. But I needed to get that out. 
When I am done rambling, I look back at Charlie and he is smiling at me. “why are you smiling so hard?” I ask, confusion written on my face. “Okay, don’t kick my ass, but, the whole fake dating thing might or might not have been a way for me to get closer to you. yeah, at first I did have a small crush on Kirby. But the more we started hanging out and going on fake dates, and acting like a couple. The more I wanted it to be real, the more I wanted you to be mine. I will admit it was a dick move, but I didn’t know hot to tell you that I was madly in love with you, and I’m sorry.” Charlie rambles.
“So this whole time you were trying to get me to fall for you?” I ask “Pretty much, yes, I’m sorry I lied to you.” He replies. I could help myself, I grab Charlie’s face in my hands and pull him in for a kiss. A real one this time.
“So will you be my real girlfriend Y/N?” he says, when we pull away “Of course I will.” I say pulling him in for another kiss. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hope you enjoyed!!!!!!  
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yesimwriting · 1 year
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Final Girl - Part 8
Series Masterlist (updated chapters 1 -9 and extras) Final Girl Masterlist
A/N this took awhile,, but i always want to put my best foot forward bc of how much this series means to me, which means i work when i’m in the right headspace for it and have the time to invest,, which hasn’t been lining up too much recently 😭 anyways i see all the supportive comments and appreciate them sm!!
also keep in mind that my priority is not the timeline, like if you’re feeling like the month before halloween is the longest month of all time,, it’s bc i want to give them bonding time before the heavy murder stuff! 
Series Summary: Y/n can’t believe that she has to leave the only home she’s ever known just because her mom’s latest boyfriend has a house in some town in California. Just as she’s starting to think that Woodsboro might not be that bad, something life altering happens after she agrees to sleep over at the Becker’s house. Now her name is practically synonymous with Ghostface’s/
Chapter Summary: Y/n tries to get back to normal and work on her friendships, but there’s nothing normal about surviving a serial killer attack, and it’s no one’s fault her friends keep noticing. She’s navigating the start of dealing with her trauma while also trying to be a good friend, especially since Billy hasn’t been feeling like himself lately. In a desperate attempt to feel like a normal, healthy teenager, Y/n crosses a personal boundary. 
----
My mom has often told me that in many ways, I was born as an old lady. 
She’d always say it after I tried being responsible. Suggesting that she give herself a curfew on weeknights, or at the very least, call if she was going to be late. Reminding her that there’s a reason people gave her the side eye when she took a visibly underage me into R-rated movies. 
Now that I’m older, I guess she was right in a lot of ways. I wasn’t the kid-iest kid, if that makes sense, but there was one thing I was always good at: playing dress up. 
With a mom like Gloria, it would have been hard not to. For years, my mom’s closet basically had the same magical properties as Disneyland. I thought that that mindset might have just been nine-year-old me, but apparently not, because Tatum and Sidney have been looking through it like it’s life changing. 
“Okay.” Tatum picks up one of my mom’s shimmery wrap and tosses it over her shoulder. “It’s official, when I die, I want to be buried here.”
I look over in time to watch her observe herself in the mirror. “Then I hope you live for a very long time.” 
She wrinkles her nose.  “That better not be the only reason.” 
“Course not, you know I love you very much, Tate-a-boo.” I make a quick kiss-y face, and Tatum almost giggles before returning the gesture. 
Turning away from my mom’s dresses, Sidney smiles. “Please, for all our sakes, don’t let Stu hear you say that.” 
After the joke settles, I practically snort. “Good point.” I step a little further into the closet, refocusing my attention. The only reason we’re all in here is because I wanted to borrow a pair of shoes before going out to the nail salon. It was Tatum’s idea, and the state of my cuticles made me agree. My social hibernation has not been good to them. “Okay, these are the shoes.” 
Sidney steps out of the closet to give me the space to do the same. I slip on the shoes, happy with how they look with my outfit and their level of comfortableness. My mom rarely buys any shoes for herself that aren’t heels, so she ends up taking anything that’s remotely comfortable from my closet. 
“I want to stay here.” Tatum’s hand brushes against the sleeve of something cashmere. “Maybe forever.” 
“And leave your nail beds like that?” Sid glances away from the full length mirror that’s right outside of my mom’s closet. She turns her attention to her reflection, adjusting the fluffiness of her always, almost magically perfect bangs.
Tatum halfheartedly glares before stepping out of the closet. “You’re such a liar.” She raises a hand, studying her palm while walking out of the closet. “You told me they looked fine yesterday.”
Sidney almost smiles before throwing me a look. A quick raise of eyebrows that seems to say got her. “We’re gonna be late.” 
----
The first nail appointment after awhile always feels like willingly volunteering to get a bunch of paper cuts. It’s not overwhelming painful, just a little irritating. After feels nice, though, now that my nails look fresh and I know I don’t have to worry about having my cuticles professionally gutted for a little bit. 
And being around Sidney and Tatum is nice. Familiar in a way that’s still new. It’s weird in a good way. Like I could start throwing around cheesy terms like BFF and it wouldn’t even be dumb. It’d still be ironic, but I think they’d get the sentiment. It’s not that I’ve never had good friends, but this is different. A little more open.
Like right now we’re in Sidney’s room and we’re not talking about anything in particular, just going off of whatever comes up. I could probably say the dumbest thing in the world right now and it wouldn’t even feel unfitting or awkward. 
“...Shut up, he was not that bad.” Tatum’s trying to sound more upset than she is. Somehow Sidney found a way to tell me about Tatum’s first boyfriend. A total middle school romance--they even went to the 8th grade dance together and held hands and had their first kiss under the bleachers. Sounds cute enough, but according to Sidney he was a total weirdo. Even by 8th grade boy standards. “He wasn’t.” 
Sidney laughs again, the movement has her arm bumping into mine. “He tried to eat a live lizard because Stu dared him.” 
“No way.” I snort. “Your first kiss was with a lizard eater?” 
Tate sighs, dropping her head against the side of the mattress and crossing her legs on the floor. “Tried. It ran away and no one ever found it.” That’s still objectively hilarious. I can’t picture Tatum with anyone that out there, but then again, she is with Stu. 
Not that he reminds me of an 8th grade boy trying to eat a lizard, but he was the one that came up with the idea. “Maybe Stu ate it.” 
Tatum glares, halfheartedly shoving my leg as Sidney clasps a hand over her mouth to avoid laughing too hard. “I’ll ask him.” 
It’s strange to picture them like that. A little younger, growing up together. “So you guys knew each other back then and now...” 
She shrugs, “I don’t know...it just kind of happened. He was always hooking up with or seeing any girl with a pulse and I didn’t even see him like that until after--” She cuts herself off with no warning. “You know Sidney and Billy have a way nicer getting together story.” Tate snaps her head up to look at Sidney, whose expression immediately shifts. “Right, Sid?” 
Sidney’s eyes briefly meet mine. There’s a bit of uneasiness there that I don’t get. What could the end of Tatum’s thought have been? What could she have been about to say that might have been--oh. 
“Yeah,” she agrees, “Billy and I were hanging out for weeks--” 
“You can say her name.” My throat feels drier than it did a second ago. “I won’t freak out if you mention Casey. Promise.” 
Tatum’s eyes briefly shut. “That’s--” She doesn’t know how to finish the sentence. I’m right. Why wouldn’t she think I’d freak out? After the way I acted at that party. “No one would blame you if you did.” 
It’s easy to say that it doesn’t matter when you’re not the one that has melt downs. “Yeah.” 
There’s a brief stretch of awkward silence, the light mood now tainted by the exact thing that’s kept me away from my friends for so long. Maybe keeping to myself was about more than the safety of others--maybe I don’t want anyone to know what I’m like now. 
“It’d be weirder if you weren’t a little messed up about it.” Tatum hums the words with such casualness I can’t help but laugh, even when Sidney snaps her head to the side to give her a seriously look. “I’m serious, only a total psycho would be able to see that and jump back into things.” 
Sidney sits up a little more, “And you took the SAT a week after it all happened. You’re doing a lot better than most people would be doing.” 
I nod, glad that they’re at least good at pretending that I’m not a total mess. “Yeah, guess I’m just sensitive about it because I freaked out on Noel at that party.” Ugh. That’s been something I’ve been trying really hard to forget. “He probably thinks I’m a total freak.” My eyes squeeze shut at the memory of the party. I had been a total mess. I flip flopped on murder accusations like it was nothing and nearly ran to Casey’s house in the middle of the night. “He’s probably told everyone I’m a total freak.” 
“You don’t know that.” Sidney’s nice for trying to comfort me, but it’s not the best argument. She picks up on my expression because she then immediately tacks on, “Okay, let’s be logical--why would he do that?” 
“Why wouldn’t he after the way I acted?” Ugh. Every guy that knows him is going to think I’m a complete weirdo. This is what I get for trying to date. “And it’s not like he called after. He hasn’t even talked to me in class since.” 
Sidney’s eyebrows draw together briefly before her hands move off of her lap and land on her comforter. She pushes herself to stand. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” 
“Noel’s a total scrub. You’re better off.” Tatum stands too, scratching the back of her arm once. She approaches the bag she abandoned near Sidney’s door, “I brought that eyeshadow I was telling you about. The sparkly, blue one that makes everyone look like Baby Spice.” 
She exhales what’s almost a laugh and I find myself not being able to answer. That does sound like something I’d normally happily go along with. Even though Tatum tends to go for a more subtle look on the day to day, she has a solid makeup collection. Lots of trendy shimmers and bright colors that are fun to swatch and mess around with. But there’s something about the way she said it...breezed away from one topic to this.
And the way Sidney just got up like she was hoping that’d change something. I sit up a little straighter, trying to remember what it’s like to not feel paranoid all the time.
Sidney stops adjusting her hair and messing with her bangs in the mirror. “Or we could hold off on that and go to the video store.” Another change to a topic that normally I’d be all over. “I think Randy’s working, we could bug him a little and get something to watch later.” 
Okay, another thing I’d normally want to do. It has been a minute since I’ve gotten to annoy Randy, and the itch is definitely there. Maybe they’re just trying to be good friends and cheer me up, but they’re spitting out suggestions in a way that feels like they’re really hoping one will stick.
 “Are--do you guys know something about something?” Ugh. If this is my paranoia acting up, I’ll never recover. Why can’t I just go along with things? “I don’t know if it’s me and my head, but you’re acting kinda weird.” 
“No, we’re just--” Sidney’s eyes don’t stay on me, they shift over to Tatum for the briefest second. I blink and almost convince myself I’ve imagined it. “You’re not crazy, we just don’t want to stress you out.” 
I push myself onto my feet. “That is the worst thing you can say to someone you don’t want to stress out.”
Sidney’s eyebrows draw together like she’s worried. I almost feel bad for pushing. “Noel not talking to you isn’t an accident or your fault.” 
“Sid.” I snap my head in Tatum’s direction. She hesitates beneath my stare and gives in with a sigh, “Okay, Noel’s a player who brags about crushing girls’ virginities and breaking up with them the next day. He talks about every girl he’s dated like they’re some kind of car and there are even worse things written about him in the handicap stall of the second floor bathroom.” Tatum pauses, considering how she’s going to word what actually happened. “You’re going through a lot right now and that’s the last thing you need, and we were worried about you, so we talked to Stu and Billy and basically...got Noel to back off.” 
Oh my god. The embarrassment, anger, and shock are all fighting for dominance in my mind, but none of them overpower the other so the feeling is just really fucking bad. All I can picture is Billy and Stu talking to Noel like I’m some little kid or someone with brain damage that can’t make their own choices. 
“You guys suck!” I wipe at my face with the back of my hand, exhaustion cutting into my irritation. “Like really suck. I’m not some child that can’t make her own decisions.” Ugh--I can’t even decide how to react. “It’s not like I was going to marry him or anything.” 
Tatum watches me with a certain level of uncertainty. I don’t think I’ve ever snapped at her or Sidney before. “You’re not exactly a casual dater.” 
“Well--I-I could have been.” It feels awkward, almost reluctant, and I hate myself for it. She’s technically right. I’ve never casually dated, but I’ve never seriously dated either, so it probably wouldn’t kill me. “Either way, it might have been a mistake, but it was my mistake to make.”
“I know, Y/n,” Sidney breathes the words slowly, “We didn’t mean anything by it, it wasn’t like a whole scheme or anything it just--” She’s trying, really trying. “We wanted to help you.” 
I didn’t need help, I was fine. The genuine hint of worry in her tone keeps me from pointing that out. I just stare at her and then at Tatum. Why does it matter anyways? Everyone gets to be normal and do dumb things and have people they’re close with and relationships and all I have is the stupid ‘almost murdered’ label. 
“Why does it matter enough for you to--” I cut myself off, not sure what I’m really asking or what I mean. 
Tatum lets out a small sigh, the sound almost reluctant, maybe a tiny bit annoyed that she even has to talk about this. “Because you’re our friend,” she half shrugs like what she’s saying should have been assumed , “And we love you.” She presses her lips together briefly, “Duh.” 
Sidney throws a look in Tatum’s direction, “Yeah, we love you so much we were willing to risk you being super mad at us because we were worried.” Sidney pauses to take a breath. “We shouldn’t have done it behind your back, and in the future we won’t meddle.”
When I don’t ease, Tatum tacts on, “If it makes things any better, Stu’s normally a total guy’s guy about this kind of thing and even he thinks Noel’s a total creep.” She scratches the back of her wrist, “And those two never care about this stuff, so, boohoo, we all love you.” 
Okay, that doesn’t exactly fix things but it does take the edge off just a tiny bit. They all go way back, and that’s intimidating. And Tatum’s trying to be funny about it, layering on the sarcasm so that I’ll laugh. I hate that it’s almost working. “Well, as long as it’s just everyone being obsessed with me...” The joke feels like a bit of a betrayal, so I tact on something else, “I’m still mad, though.” That feels even weaker. I’m too in my head about all of it and still pretty embarrassed despite the fact that I didn’t do anything. It won’t last forever, but right now, it’s all feeling like too much. The safety of my bedroom feels miles away instead of the few blocks it actually is. “I think I-I’m gonna...” 
“No,” Tatum huffs, “It wasn’t supposed to be a thing.” She tilts her head to the side, silky blonde hair bouncing with the motion. “We haven’t seen you in forever and it was more Stu and Billy’s thing, they’ve been ready to start a thing with him since like the 9th grade.” 
More Stu and Billy’s thing? That almost makes sense for Billy, who Noel casually suggested could be a murderer. But Stu? Noel seemed to like him well enough. Maybe it’s a loyalty thing. I can see Billy and Stu having a bit of package deal friendship. You can’t hate on one without becoming enemy of the other. And with how generally protective Stu seems to be over his friends, it’d make sense. 
But still. I am not a bargaining chip or an excuse or someone that needs their approval on who I do or don’t date.
“Let’s do whatever you want to do and then if you’re still mad, we can invite them over and you can yell at them.” 
Tatum almost smiles, “You’re good at that.” 
That...feels a little weird. “I’m good at yelling?” 
“No, it’s like when you told off that reporter. One minute, you’re normal, but then, when you need to be--bam! You’re super bitch.” 
I laugh, this time it’s genuine. “Super bitch strikes again.” The exit is still close, and some nervous part of me wants to cling to the out. I’m not sure if it’s out of some form of fear or genuine anger or both. But I do want to stay around them a little longer and go take way too long renting a video just to annoy Randy. “If I get to pick what we do, I say we go bother Randy and get a movie. He’s had it easy for too long.” 
Sid half scoffs at my ominous tone. “How do you know?” 
"Knowing whether or not Randy needs to be annoyed is my superpower.” 
----
The video rental is surprisingly empty for early Thursday evening. Schools are out and it’s close enough to the weekend where normally there are more people stopping by to check out what they want to watch in advance. Today doesn’t reflect that. Good to know that my Randy distress radar is still in tact. 
There’s an older man adjusting the latest release aisle, changing out movies. He’s the only employee that I see as I scan over the store and a part of me nearly deflates. Sidney did say she thought Randy would be working and I have no way of knowing. Our friendship has also been a victim to my recent hermit ways, and it’s likely suffered more than my connection with anyone else. At least my other friends are in a couple of my classes or need to walk down the same hallways. Most of Randy’s classes aren’t near mine and we only share a study hall, which he often uses as an excuse to leave early in order to get to work. Meaning that most days I only see him during lunch. 
The door to the back swings open and behind a cart of VHS tapes, there’s a familiar face. Randy. I find myself smiling as I approach the counter he’s coming up from behind. 
“Excuse me,” he glances up, a bit of surprise causing him to raise his eyebrows, “I was wondering if you have a copy of Child’s Play 2, but not the original, the extended cut with the alternate ending, Sorority House Massacre, uncut, duh, and/or Fox’s original version of Clueless.” 
Randy blinks, unfazed by my bullshit. “I’ve been around you too long to fall for that last one.” 
I almost laugh. I can’t believe Randy remembers my rant about the developmental nightmare that was the original Clueless pitch. Fox wanted a TV show, but they got a movie instead, and that took way too long for no reason. I had talked about it a lot longer than I meant to the other day at school. “You caught it.” 
“Decoys are always more obvious than they seem to the person making them.” It feels like some kind of movie rule reference, vague enough for me to get how it applies but not so random I feel the need to ask. “So are you here to rent something or make my job harder?” 
“A little of both.” Turning my head, I gesture to where Sidney and Tatum are. They’re in the same aisle, backs to each other as they scan through options. “We wanted something to watch and Sidney said she thought you’d be working today.” I tap my nails against the counter. “And I had this feeling that things have probably been too easy for you.”
Randy’s lips turn upwards but it feels a little different than a smile. “Yeah, nothing but peace since you...” 
“Became a total paranoid PTSD recluse?” 
He half shrugs, “Jack Torrence.” I roll my eyes, a little relieved that Randy’s joking about it instead of pressing. It’s part of the reason he’s a good friend to have. “You’re feeling better, though, right?” 
Spoke a little too soon, but that’s an okay question. It’s not invasive, it’s just an offer. “Getting there.” 
Randy nods, taking in the answer for what feels like a little too long for two words. Maybe he’s feeling the honesty of what does seem like a cop out answer. I’m not over it by any means, but feeling better is a process that’s starting to work. “That’s good.” He pushes the cart slightly before pulling back to place. “You’re good.” Randy lets out a breath, tugging and pushing the cart again. “I mean--deserve to feel good and normal.” 
I grin at the stumble in words. It’s rare that we’re openly nice to each other instead of acting like little kids after one pulls the other’s hair. “I get what you mean.” 
His lips part, but no words come out. Randy’s eyebrows draw together as his mouth shuts. What is--a firm touch on my shoulder snaps the question out of me. My head turns and some kind of comment about being rude to people in line rises and immediately falls back down. Stu! And then I remember my earlier conversation and it feels a lot more like: Oh. Stu. 
It’s such an instant flip that for a second I don’t react. Stu pulls his arm around me in a quick attempt at a side hug, but I’m so stiff it’s more like being shoved into him. “Look who’s here.” 
Bumping into him is by no means new to me. Small town, same friends, some overlap in hobbies. But this time it’s different. I promised myself that Stu and Billy would get scolded for meddling as soon as possible, but I didn’t expect run into him in public. It’s like being a parent with a child that’s misbehaving in church. You can’t do anything but redirect until you get to the car. 
Stu drops his arm back to his side. “Thought you were doing something with Tatum and Sid?” 
“They’re over there,” I gesture vaguely with a tilt of my head, trying to seem casual. I might not be willing to get into the whole Noel thing in front of Randy and the suburban mom trying to settle a dispute between two kids who can’t decide which movie to get, but Stu probably is. “I wouldn’t look too closely, girls’ night movies might make you sick.” 
Stu misses by just a second. He does wrinkle his nose in a display of the kind of good humor I’d expect from him, but it doesn’t feel as natural. There’s nothing wrong about his reaction, it just feels lacking. Missing his usual brand of energy. “I have no issue with girls’ night movies.” 
Clearly, I’ve been spending too much time with him because I get the joke instantly. Now it’s my turn to cringe. “Why do I even talk to you?” 
“Because, buggsie, your life would be so boring without me.” The nickname does make my expression warp, but this time it’s more like trying to keep in a laugh than anything else. “If your only movie influence was Randy, you’d be a lot less likable.” 
Randy sighs. “Keep telling yourself that.”
The words are just a little too sharp. They’re good enough friends in some senses. Not two I’d guess hang alone together, but I like to think at the end of the day they like co-existing. That doesn’t mean they don’t bicker from time to time in a way that feels different than when Randy and I fight like little kids or Stu and I fight like an old married couple too lazy to get divorced. 
“No need to be bitter, dude,” Stu’s hand is back around my shoulder, “I gave you a whole five minutes.” That was a weird thing to say. Random, and not in a fun sort of way, but before I can ask, Stu’s pulling me forward. “You want to help me sneak up on Tay?” 
I throw Randy a look that hopefully communicates my level of confusion and some sort of see you later. “Uh...” Stu’s already turning like I’ve answered, “Sure?” 
When we’re finally closer to the shelves than the counter, Stu lets me go, his hand sliding down my arm a little before retracting. “So you go up to Tatum, talk to her, keep her distracted, and I’ll sneak up behind her.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay.” He’s moving along so quickly and casually, but I’m still fixed on that last comment to Randy. It wasn’t banter-y and Randy didn’t say anything back, which feels a little weird. “That last thing you said, the five minute thing?”
Stu barely pauses, head tilting in a way that feels confused. “Oh. Gave him five minutes to make a move, but you know Randy, not a closer.”
It’s said casually enough that I could think Stu’s being serious, but there’s also a hum of sarcasm in there. And what he’s saying does feel too unrealistic to not be a joke. Randy and I are completely platonic, there’s no way he sees me like that. Plus, I’d like to think that if a guy I’m around that regularly liked me in any sort of way, I’d have at least somewhat picked up on it. 
“Shut up,” I shove Stu’s arm, “You’re not funny.”
He holds his hands up in defense briefly. “Don’t shoot the messenger.” 
It’s said casual enough that I’m finally given a second to think. The nagging voice at the back of my head is finally given the opportunity to remind me that I’m supposed to be mad at him. Or, at the very least, irritated until I can tell him off for trying to make decisions for me behind my back. 
“Interesting that you mention shooting you, be--” 
“Ouch,” Stu hums, a little too pointedly, “Thought we were all good, angel.” I press my lips together, staring at the ground to avoid giving him anything to latch onto. “I’ve been on best behavior. Minding my business, just here to check something out.”
I stop, a motion I think is subtle enough but Stu picks up on it immediately. He turns and grabs my wrist. The contact is sudden enough to force me to look up. Stu’s watching me, his expression seems innocent, and not in that pretend way either. There’s a hint of confusion behind his eyes. I’m not sure I entirely believe it, but I think it’s possible that what I’m mad about isn’t coming to mind. He has no reason to think I’d know about it. 
His hold is firm and oddly warm and bordering on distracting. 
“Stu,” Tatum’s cheery voice snaps the two of us out of our stand off.
He pulls away quickly, eyes falling on Tatum. “There’s my girl.” Stu pulls her into a hug and gives her a quick kiss. “Y/n was going to help me sneak up and surprise you, but she’s in a mood.” 
Ugh. Stu has a way of dismissing any type of reaction that doesn’t work for him as me being in a mood or pouting. “I am not in a mood.” 
“Give her a break.” Stu’s hands are still on her. “Y/n found out about the Noel thing.”My gaze instinctually shifts back to Stu. His easygoing grin falters. Tatum smiles at him with a coy look that I guess could be interpreted as some kind of apology. “Don’t get moody, she pulled it out of us.” 
It takes him a second, but Stu eventually eases off of her. He doesn’t look as content as before, but his expression hints at nothing else besides casual annoyance. “She can’t be too mad if she’s still hanging around you and Sid.” 
“I got to tell them both off already.” 
Stu turns, something smug tugging his face into an almost smile. It’s infuriating. “If that’s what you’re into, babe.” 
Tatum scoffs and halfheartedly smacks his shoulders. “You’ve been around long enough that I don’t have to apologize for him anymore, right?”
“Right.” 
Stu lets out a breath, “Geez, you two sure act like you love me.” 
I am so not in the mood to say anything nice about Stu in front of him. “Maybe if you minded your business a little more--” 
“Okay,” Tatum pushes herself into the budding argument and looks at me. “Save your energy for when there’s two of them.” Good point. If I yelled at Stu and Billy separately every time they messed up, I’d be yelling constantly. Tatum’s attention shifts back to Stu, “Is he around? Sid’s around the corner.” 
Stu shakes his head once. “Nah, it’s still early and he only said he might call. He’s been a little out of it.” 
Billy’s out of it? And out of it enough to not be around Stu for once? It’s not like they’re literally attached at the hip but a weekend evening where both me and their girlfriends are busy and they’re not hanging out together? That in itself hints at something being wrong. 
I think through the last I heard from Billy, but nothing particularly stands out. He might have briefly mentioned his dad but not in a concerning way. Not in a way that indicated he’d have to spend extra time with him or anything.
Billy has also been weirdly absent. No recent warning-less appearances at my window. Has he been going through something and I’m just too caught up in my personal issues to notice? God, this serial killer nonsense has turned me into a terrible friend. 
“He okay?” 
Stu’s eyes flit up to meet mine. “You might want to hold off on the scolding, but last time I checked in, yeah. Just all angsty, you know how Billy gets.” 
I blink. Last time he checked in. Maybe I’m idealizing their friendship too much, but I’ve always felt like they were looking out for each other. Closer than Stu’s current reaction warrants. Or maybe I’m overthinking things and Billy’s just taking some time. He doesn’t seem the type to want to talk about fuzzy things like feelings. 
“We were going to ask you guys to come over, but if he’s not up for it, that’s okay,” Tatum says, “You can still come by later, but I think you should check in on him.” 
Now I’m starting to feel antsy. Like I should go check in on Billy, but I don’t even know what that’d look like. The realization that I’ve never been to Billy’s house hits hard and with no warning. Whenever we all hang out, it’s at my place or someone else’s, and when it’s the three of us we go to Stu’s and sometimes my house. The thought rubs me the wrong way, like this one thing is pulling on the threads of our friendship. 
He’s one of my best friends and I can’t even say I know what his room looks like. 
“I’ll probably stop by soon.” 
That makes me frown. Probably. Soon. 
“Oh, that reminds me.” Tatum’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “Dewey wanted me to give you a head’s up that he’ll be trying to meet with you soon. He wants to go over some....stuff.” 
Ugh, this again. I can’t escape it. “Yeah. He has my number, Dewey can call whenever, but the warning was nice.” 
Stu shifts back like he doesn’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “He wants to talk to her again?” He’s more offended than I am. “What? It’s not like anything’s changed.” 
Tatum shrugs, “I don’t know. Dewey doesn’t give me the details.” 
“Unless they have new evidence, they shouldn’t be dragging her back into it just because they don’t know shit.”
I should tell him to drop it. That this is my business and maybe it’s time we establish some firmer boundaries, but I can’t get the words to form. The whole thing feels hypocritical. I should be annoyed, but I’m not because he’s saying what I can’t. 
It’s brief, but for a second it almost feels like Stu might be the closest to someone that gets what it feels like. The irony is insane, considering that there’s no way that empathy’s his strong suit. 
“I don’t know. It’s not my thing.” 
Tatum is understandably a little defensive, which is fair. Especially when considering our earlier conversation. This isn’t fair to her. “It’s okay.” The words feel like a flat cop out compared to Stu’s instinctual defense. “It’s not Tatum’s fault and Dewey was really nice about it last time--” 
“Last time? You mean when they ambushed you at the hospital before they let you take visitors?” 
My stomach knots at that. The feeling of waking up there, confused and unaware of what I’d just been through and then being made to feel like I was completely alone while Billy and Stu were waiting outside for me. “That’s not his fault.” A dry defense. “It sucks, but it’s for the greater good and it won’t take long.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or him. “It’s okay.” 
Stu half sighs. “I’m going to grab my movie and head out, maybe stop by Billy’s.” He tuns to give Tatum a brief goodbye kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll see you soon, Y/n. Make sure you get to yell at me before it builds too much.” 
At that, I roll my eyes but still wave him off. 
---- 
My eyes are on the phone again, staring down the extension on my nightstand like it’s keeping things from me. 
Ugh. This is ridiculous. I snap my attention back to the homework in front of me. Some extra credit for my math class. It’s an attempt at damage control because the test I had to take the morning after being attacked by a serial killer is seriously bringing down my GPA. Too bad calc has never been my strong suit. The distraction that is my inability to move on from what Stu said is definitely not helping. 
Even after Sidney, Tatum, and I left the video store, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Stu’s uncertainty and what Billy could be going through. Maybe Stu was playing down how much he knows because Billy didn’t want anyone else knowing. I could see that. Hope for that since the thought of Billy locking himself in his room and dealing with whatever it is completely alone tugs at my heart.  
I could call. He might not answer, but that’s okay. It might make me feel better to just do something and it’s not like I’ve never called him. There’s also the more extreme option of showing up to his place. I’ve never been to his house,  but he’s pointed it out before. Even though I physically could get there, that feels like too much. If I’ve never been over, it’s probably for a reason.
There’s also Stu. I could call him to ask about Billy. He’s more likely to tell me about how Billy’s doing than Billy. But that also feels weird for no reason. Again, it’s not like I never call them. 
I glance over at the digital clock on my desk. 7:56. Okay--it’s not too late. Not weirdly late. 
I stand before I can think about it too much, walking over to the phone. If it’s going to be distracting, I should just get it over with. Maybe having some kind of answer will make it easier to focus on things.
The phone rings about three times before there’s an answer. “Yeah?” 
“Hey.” Okay, that one word feels super awkward for no reason. “Hi--it’s um--” Be more normal. It’s just Stu. “It’s Y/n.” 
A quick breath that feels more like a laugh than it sounds. “Yeah, I figured that out.” Great, now he’s making fun of me. “I also know why you’re calling.” 
“Really?” 
I can feel his amusement over the phone. “You can’t stop thinking about me and want me to come over.”
I snort as soon as the words wash over me. What was I expecting? “You figured it out. This is a booty call.” 
Stu sort of laughs. “Yeah? I can be over in five.”
Pressing my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing, I sit up a little more. “Loser.” I reach over for a pillow and pull it on to my lap. “Okay, so actual reason, I was trying to do something for calc, so obviously my mind was wandering and thinking about literally anything else.” 
“Obviously.” 
My fingers brush the fluff of the pillow’s exterior. I brush the strands flat and then back into little spikes of hair. “And at some point, I started thinking about what you said at the video store. About Billy.”
There’s a brief silence, and then another one of Stu’s breathy-accidental-laughs. “Aw, you’re worried.” Ugh. “That’s cute, angel, I’ll make sure to tell him.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t be a spoilsport.” 
My nose wrinkles at that, nails smothering my pillow’s layer of fluff. “Is he okay or not?” 
For a second, the only thing coming from the other side of the phone is the general static of someone’s movement. “Bossy.” I roll my eyes, but before I can tell him to spare me tonight, Stu continues, “Why didn’t you just call Billy?” 
It’s a fair question, which only bugs me more. “Because there’s no way to call someone and ask if they’re okay based on a passing comment without sounding insane.” 
I pinch the thin hairs of my pillows between my thumb and index finger. “And it’s less insane this way?”
Feels like it. “Kinda, yeah.” 
“Don’t worry your pretty head about it. Billy’s fine, he’ll be back to his usual levels of brooding soon. Promise.” I don’t know what to make of that, so I just focus on my pillow. “It might help if you called him tomorrow. Let him sleep it off for a little longer.”
That’s probably a good suggestion. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” My eyes drift back to the still open textbook on my desk. My mom is out with Wells so I can’t even use her as an excuse to not be doing this right now. I briefly bite my tongue to give myself a second to think through what I’m considering. “You um--are you doing anything right now?” Even more awkward. Great. “I could really use an excuse to not work on calc right now.” 
“Now it’s a booty call.” 
Being friends with him is so annoying sometimes. “I hate you.”
“Ouch,” a brief shuffling before he speaks again, “You know I love distracting you--” I roll my eyes. “But tonight’s--” 
“Shit, is Tatum over or something?” A hand flies over my mouth. Of course I’d call at a time where he had someone over and be a total mess. “I’m sorry.” 
Some more static before a response, “No, it’s--” He sighs once. “Billy’s here and he’s--” Oh. My embarrassment is definitely doubling, but there’s still some relief there. At least he’s not alone. “Maybe you should come over, help cheer him up.”
“You’re kind of an asshole for not mentioning that earlier.” I push the throw pillow off my lap and let my back fall onto my cocoon of larger pillows. “And it’s fine, I wouldn’t want to overwhelm him or anything.” 
“No,” Stu’s answer is quick but feels a little flat. Almost worried. “You--I think it’d be good for him to see you.” There’s still a bit of hesitance there, like Stu’s not telling me the full story. Maybe he can’t. “We rented a few movies and I think I might still have those sour gummy things you like.” 
I really do love sour gummies. “Is Billy okay with it?” 
“It’s my house, bug.” When I don’t say anything, Stu sighs, “Kidding. C’mon, he loves you.” I don’t know why I’m debating so much, it was my idea, but now it feels a little intrusive of me. “And we’re a lot more fun than calculus.” 
“Not a high bar you’re setting there.” Stu pointedly scoffs. “Okay--if you’re sure Billy’s okay with it, I’ll be over in a few.”
“Need to go ask your mommy?” 
I’m already pushing myself to my feet. “Shut up.” An ‘at least I have a parent that gives a shit’ nearly slips out and I just barely manage to bite my tongue. That’d be like reacting to a playful shove with a punch to the face. Besides, my mom’s not a factor right now. She and Wells are out to dinner with some friends. She left me with a 20 to order pizza and maybe rent a movie. “I can still not go.” 
Stu chooses to ignore the (empty) threat, “See you soon, babe.” 
I push open the door of my closet and search through it as quickly as possible. It’s not like I need to get dressed up to go to Stu’s, but my stained pajama pants from the ninth grade and practically threadbare tank top aren’t things I wear out of the house. Especially now that fall is making evenings a lot chillier. “I don’t get our friendship.”
“I keep you supplied with those awful sour gummies.”
I smile despite myself, grabbing something out of my closet. “That explains it.” Bending down, I pick up another article of clothing. “See you soon.” 
----
“There she is.”
Stu pulls me into a hug before I can think to react. He’s always so warm and everywhere. I think it has to do with his smell. It sounds weird but he’s so consistent about it. Enough expensive laundry detergent to drown out most of the usual teen boy body spray musk to a level that’s tolerable and sharpens the slight hint of weed that seems to cling to him. Even that is balanced. Subtle unless you know to think about it. But now it’s a little more overwhelming than usual...fresher. 
Like he just finished a joint. I stare at him for a second and while his eyes seem mostly normal, there’s a bit of a red tinge there. If it wasn’t for the smell of weed, I wouldn’t have noticed. “Are you high?” 
The corner of Stu’s mouth pulls up into an almost smile. He’s amused. “That’s a fun way to greet me.” I give him a pointed look. “Mmm...maybe a little.” Stu extends an arm, halfheartedly punching me in the shoulder. Instead of dropping his arm like usual, Stu relaxes his fist in order to squeeze the top of my arm. “What gave me away, angel?”
“With you, it’s always a safe guess.” He sort of frowns, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Kidding. You smell like a dispensary.” 
Stu squeezes my arm a little harder. “Judgy.” He tilts his head slightly. “And here I was going to offer you some.” 
“No one likes me when I’m high.” That’s true enough. I get all paranoid and clingy. Randy won’t even smoke around me if we’re alone just in case. 
He half scoffs. “Nah, that’s just for people that don’t know how to handle you.” 
Handle me? I’m about to give him some sarcastic answer, but when my eyes meet his, the reaction freezes over. He’s staring at me with a concentration that feels more prominent than his hand on my arm. I don’t know why, but I feel the need the redirect and break the silence. “Where’s Billy?” 
“In my room.” Stu swings a hand around my shoulder and starts guiding me forward. “C’mon, he’ll be happy to see you.” 
I should shrug Stu off of me, but it feels easier to just let him. Besides, there are other things to worry about. From the vagueness Stu’s been handling mentions of Billy with, I half expect him to be in a straight jacket or something. “He--he does know I’m here, right?” 
The only answer I get is Stu placing a hand on his bedroom door once we reach it. He releases me to push open it open. “Hey, feeling any better?” Billy doesn’t get a chance to reply before Stu continues, “Because I brought you a present.” 
Weird...and kind of objectifying, but in a weird way. It’s not so much the words, but the way he’s saying them. This is definitely an ambush. Stu pushes the door open all the way before I can really react. I still make a point of smacking his arm. “Don’t make it weird.” 
I turn my head towards Stu’s room. Billy is in there, sitting with his back against the headboard and he’s looking at me but there’s little recognition. It’s more like he’s seeing through me. I want to assume it’s part of some kind of side effect of being high, but I can’t quite get myself to dismiss it as something so casual.
Any fight directed at Stu evaporates into the air and morphs into this weird veil of tension. Not good or bad. Just heavy and full, bleeding through the room and into the hall where I’m still standing. 
“Hi,” it feels like an attempt at cutting through the harshness, “I heard you were feeling bad so I thought I’d come back and make you feel worse.” 
Billy’s eyebrows draw together slightly, like he’s considering how to react. He settles on a, “Yeah?” It feels smaller than the way he usually is. 
I swallow my instinctual reaction. “Yeah--things aren’t looking too good in Iraq and everyone’s getting too comfortable with nuclear bombs.” 
The corner of his mouth turns up into an almost smile. It’s not quite there, but the thawing of the icy layer behind his gaze is cracking. “Anything else?”
“I still think the Princess Diana divorce is kind of a bummer.” 
Stu sighs dramatically. “Of course you’re on her side.” 
“There is no other side, Charles is the worst.” 
Stu walks fully into his room and practically flops onto his bed. His head hits Billy’s calf and Billy throws him a dirty look before adjusting. “Charles is next in line for the throne. That entitles him to all the girls he wants. That’s just history.”
I wrinkle my nose and halfheartedly glare at him. “He’s also probably inbred.”
Billy sits up a little further, reaching for what I’m assuming is a joint. “Definitely inbred.”
The small vouch of support is strangely easing.
Stu tilts his head to look at me briefly. “You two deserve each other.”
“Don’t pout.” Maybe not my smartest joke, but it’s too easy to pass up on. 
He props his head up just to glare at me. “I can still kick you out.”
I roll my eyes and Billy wordlessly extends what he’s been smoking. Stu reaches for it absentmindedly and Billy moves his arm away. “You need to slow down.” 
Stu doesn’t protest, which has to be a byproduct of his easy high. I’m so distracted by that it takes a second for it to click. If Billy isn’t handing off the joint to Stu, he’s trying to give it to me...the person who’s going to be around their mom and a cop before the night’s over. 
“Can’t tonight.” I’m so going to get bullied for this, “My mom would know immediately, and then she’d kill all three of us.” 
Billy sits up a little more, not fully taking his hand back but relaxing it a little. Stu drops his head back down, accidentally landing on Billy’s leg. I suppress a laugh when Billy lazily shrugs Stu off. It doesn’t work, because Stu still glares at me as he curls into himself slightly. “You could stay over, sleep it off.”
Maybe Stu’s more high than I thought. I take a step forward, feeling awkward about the distance. “I don’t see how that helps the my mom killing us all thing.” 
“You could call her from my home phone, tell her you’re staying over at Sidney’s or Tay’s.” Stu doesn’t wait for my response before stretching out an arm in my direction. “Come here.” 
It feels a little bit like a trap, but at the same time, standing this close to the door is probably weirder than anything Stu’s going to try. I walk forward and sit down on the edge of his bed. Stu smiles lazily and adjusts so that his legs are on my lap. They’re long. He’s basically an arachnid. 
With Stu, a firm approach is usually best, but this seems harmless enough so I don’t kick him off of me. “You’re like a spider.”
He laugh-scoffs, stretching even further. “Like a daddy long legs.”
There’s a weird attempt at sultriness in his words. It’s so stupid I can’t hep the terrible laugh that comes out. “Shut up. You’re so gross.” Now I do want him off of me. He won’t move so I try dragging myself back a little. All that does is make me bump into Billy’s arm. “Sorry.” 
Dismissing my apologetic look with a short wave of the hand still holding the joint, Billy sits up even more, angling himself towards me. “You should be.” It’s sarcastic, but still oddly flat, like Billy’s putting work into being a part of the conversation.
Stu, clearly feeling forgotten, softly kicks his leg. “Your sobriety’s bringing old Billy Boy back down.” 
I lean back, ignoring the way my fingers brush against Billy’s. “I promise me being high would only depress him more.” 
“I like you high,” Billy muses flatly, “You get all jumpy.” 
I roll my eyes, trying to straighten to pull my hand back but Billy doesn’t let me get that far. His hand turns over and pulls his fingers between my own. It’s a casual enough attempt to pull me back into place, but his eyes are so quick to meet mine. There’s something almost nervous about the shift, and vaguely familiar. An uncertain, begrudging request for reassurance I’ve come to associate with people going through some sort of depressive episode. 
“That was one time,” I mumble, “And it was because you guys are assholes and didn’t tell me that it was extra strong.” 
Stu’s leg moves again, “It wasn’t extra strong, we just didn’t pace you.” 
“Either way--assholes.” 
Billy moves his thumb along my knuckles. “We’ll be nice this time.” He takes a deliberate hit and exhales the smoke in a way that lingers. I can feel the smell of it, a paranoid part of me thinking it’s already caught up in my hair and clothes and skin. Like my mom will just be able to tell already. Maybe it is already too late. 
And it’d upset her. She’s already worried enough about how I’m handling all the killer stuff, if she thinks I’m acting out and smoking she’ll probably freak. This also wouldn’t be the first time I did something like this and didn’t tell her...or the first time I stayed over at a friend’s house to sleep something off. 
It’s also objectively nice to be around them. Also, Billy’s whole slightly off thing is something I’ve definitely seen before. The familiarity finally clicks into place, a few memories of my mother from when I was younger. Bad ones, days in which things slipped through the cracks before my mom was diagnosed and started managing that part of herself.
“Even if you don’t smoke, you should call your mom...stay over.” Billy gets the words out stiffly, like some invisible force was trying to shove them back down his throat. “Keep me from being alone with that one.”
Stu lets out a sound that’s sounds a lot like a tired “fuck off”. The casual disapproval makes me smile.
Billy takes another, much shorter hit. I let myself observe the process. The way the smoke goes in, how he holds it in, and finally the way he forces it out. Billy wordlessly turns the joint around in a silent offering. I give in with an exhale and reach over. Billy doesn’t let me get that far, moving so that his fingers are almost to my mouth. I part my lips and let him hold the joint there as I inhale. He doesn’t give me long before taking it back. He runs his thumb along my knuckles. “Hold.” I struggle, but follow through. “Good. Now breathe.” 
I let it out with a slight cough.
“There ya go,” Stu mumbles, patiently dragging his leg up my thigh. “You’ll feel better.” I wish I had more experience with smoking outside of them. If I did, I’d have a reference point to tell me if Stu’s weed is actually extra strong or not. I’m sure what he gets is considered good shit, since he definitely has the money and tolerance. “You should call your mom before you get all giggly.” 
I openly frown. “I do not get ‘giggly’.” 
“Yeah, you do.” 
I’m not in an argumentative mood. Maybe it’s the atmosphere or the weed is already starting to cloud my judgement. I should call my mom, though. It hasn’t been that long since I left, which means she’s probably still out with Wells. It’ll be easier to just leave a message on the machine. She always checks when she gets home. 
Ever since the first incident, my mom keeps a cell phone on her that’s always on, but it’s still weird to both of us. I don’t have the number fully memorized yet, it’s written on a note held to the fridge by a magnet back home...a few blocks away. The cell phone isn’t exclusively emergency, but my mom doesn’t love portable technology. She thinks they’re tacky and breed rudeness.
I tap Stu’s leg, “Up.” 
Surprisingly enough, Stu listens, letting me go. I let go of Billy’s hand and reach for the extension on Stu’s nightstand. I quickly dial my number and leave a flat message. Staying over at Sid’s, have fun but not too much fun, love you and see you tomorrow. 
In a moment of straight forward association, I almost went with telling my mom I was staying at Tatum’s, but I have to talk to Dewey soon and my mom will probably be there and that felt like a potential loose end. 
Stu half snorts, “Love you and see you tomorrow, mom.” 
I shove Stu’s shoulder. “Shut up.” 
“Have fun but not too much fun,” Billy mumbles, a lot more subdued but just as teasing. 
Rolling my eyes, I move back to the edge of the bed where I was sitting before. “It’s an inside joke.” 
Stu leans forward and pinches my cheek. “That’s adorable.” 
The patronization doesn’t sit well and my eyelids feel heavier than they did a second ago. “I hate you guys.” 
“Clearly,” Stu breathes, reaching over and taking the joint from Billy. “Oh, Billy, forgot to tell you, Y/n’s supposed to be mad at us.” Billy tilts his head a little too far to one side like that’s news enough for him to be curious. “Tay told her about the Noel thing.” 
Billy feels imbalanced, head leaning one way and spine straight. His eyes harden over again. “Really?” He takes my hand again, this time a lot less softly. “Over that asshole?” I let him run his knuckles over my hand again, even though this time it feels a lot less soothing. “If none of your friends like a guy, that usually says something about the guy.” 
I’m sure there’s some kind of joke I could spin. Maybe about where he learned that one from. Get that from Cosmo? But the bordering on defensive look behind Billy’s eyes is overbearing and messing with my head. Stu is seriously in danger for bringing this up right now. 
“It’s not about the guy,” I manage, “It’s about...” All the points I had feel a lot less concrete under Billy’s scrutiny...or maybe it’s the weed. Or both. I swallow, dropping my gaze to my lap as I try to really think. Okay, it’s definitely both. “Timing and boundaries.” It feels fractured. “Like even if a guy totally sucks, you can’t go over my head about it.” 
Stu lets out a sigh, dropping his head onto one of his pillow’s. I glare openly. This is all his fault. Why bring it up now? Billy was just starting to act a little more like himself. “I don’t know what you see in him.” Ugh. It’s like he’s not even hearing me. “Especially with the way he talked about Casey.” 
That last part hits its intended goal. Stu’s staring at the ceiling, so I can’t see his expression, but he seems to take my silence as a win. I don’t know Noel as well as they do, but he did talk about Casey at that party and it wasn’t exactly kind. 
I squeeze what I can grab of the comforter like that will tether me here. It half works but it does nothing to ease the tightening in my chest. The memories mix uneasily with the start of my high. The dip of panic doesn’t suit the way my body wants to feel and it all blends together in a way that leaves me on edge and a little nauseous. 
There’s the sound of someone moving, but I barely pick up on it. Billy smacks the side of Stu’s head. “Too much, asshole.”
Stu throws Billy an offended look before craning his neck to look at me. I must look as off as I feel, because Stu does sit up. “Shit,” he pushes himself back, “Sorry. I didn’t think--” 
“You never think.” The words are pointed, but not completely angry. If I was feeling any better, I would’ve laughed. He slowly reaches forward and I don’t stop him from prying my fingers away from the sheets. “Your trip going a little bad?” I nod. “Don’t think about it.” Easier said than done. “You could end up like Stu the one time he smoked too much while watching one of those old horror movies where the special effects are basically held up by a string.” 
That cracks at the panic a little. “What did he do?” 
“Convinced himself that it was real and we were the ones that were off.” 
I almost laugh. “Actually?” 
“Shut up,” Stu sighs, a little bitter but not actually mad. 
Billy ignores him, “Actually.” He turns my hand over carefully before running his fingers over the thin scar on my palm and up my wrist. “So you’re already doing better than him.”
For a second, I let myself study Billy. The wisps of hair falling forward, the slight pinch between his eyebrows, his focused expression. Billy almost always holds himself with a certain tenseness. Whether that’s force of habit or natural to him, I’m not sure. Maybe that’s why he gets along so well with Stu. They balance each other. 
“Are you...” I don’t know where I’m going with this. “Are you feeling any better?” 
His expression briefly clouds, pulling into something much more blank. He drops his gaze and for a second I feel like I might need to take it back. “Yeah--yeah, don’t worry.” Again, easier said than done. Billy clears his throat almost immediately after, like that will erase the fact that he actually responded. 
“Good.” It doesn’t sound overly positive, but he hasn’t convinced me. “I’ve missed you, a little.” That feels a lot more real.
Billy angles his head downwards, almost smiling. “Only a little?” 
“It’s not like you haven’t been around at all.” He traces an invisible line up my wrist. “Maybe more than a little, anyway.” 
“Aw,” Stu hums, his hand finding a place on my back. He leans forward and rests his head on my shoulder. “You two are adorable.” I’m not really given a chance to answer before Stu lets out a sigh that I feel against my neck, “Don’t be mad.” 
Honestly, I’m not feeling any anger. I’m a little annoyed at him and frustrated that I’m still not normal. That’s all there is. It’s too tiring to turn into anger. “’M not mad,” it feels like a confession, “A little annoyed at you, but not more than usual.” 
He breathes a sarcastic, “Haha” into my shoulder. 
With no warning, I start to unweave myself from them. I think they’re too confused to ask until I’m actually standing. 
“Where are you going, angel?” 
I don’t really know, so I can’t really answer. Stu’s room isn’t super familiar. I’ve been in here a couple times, most of them brief. I take a second to really take in the space. A lot of posters, the ones that aren’t directly bloody movie posters feature practically naked women and some combine the two. It fits him.
“Getting a feel,” I decide on, “You can tell a lot about a person based on their room.” 
Stu moves to the edge of his bed, grinning at my focus. “Really?” 
I move to pull open the drawer of his nightstand. “Mhm.” 
“You’re not going to like anything you find in there.” He places a hand on the front of drawer but doesn’t stop me. 
It takes me a second too long to realize what he’s getting at. By then, I’ve already taken in a cover of a magazine with a model that’s wearing even less than the girls on the posters, a box of condoms, a surprisingly neatly stacked set of polaroids, an old deck of cards, and a few random odds and ends all crammed in there. 
My nose wrinkles, but I’m too distracted by the polaroids to make fun of him. I can only see the top one, but it’s innocent enough, an accidental snapshot that sort of looks like a blurry person on a couch.  
“Polaroids?” I pick them out of the drawer and flip to the next one. A small lump that looks like a cat in Stu’s living room. Weird, I’ve never seen one in his house and he’s never mentioned having a pet. Maybe these are old pictures. Before I can snoop any further, Stu pulls the stack of photos away from me. “You’re no fun.” 
He rolls his eyes as he moves the first photo back into place. “You’re nosy.” I don’t say anything because I’m not so high that I’m clueless. This is a little weird of me, but I can’t help the impulse. “What if the next picture had been me naked?” 
“You take naked pictures of yourself and keep them in your nightstand?” 
Stu intentionally ignores my laughter. “You don’t need pictures for that, baby, you can see the real thing.” 
My laughter picks up again. “Yeah? Let’s go right now.” 
At that, Stu does crack a bit of a smile. “Let’s make Billy strip first.” 
“Deal,” I mumble through another laugh. 
Billy drops his head onto a pillow, “Fuck off.” 
I turn my attention back to the card deck and dig them out with my nail. “Any naked pictures hidden in here or am I good?” 
“No promises.” With that as my warning, I begin to shuffle the cards absentmindedly. “Why? You wanna play strip poker?” 
Ignoring him, I move back to my previous position on the edge of the bed. “Think I’m good.” 
I drag the nail of my thumb along the edge of the cards and focus on the sound of them. Billy nudges my knee with his. I look up as he extends his arm, silently asking for the cards. I hand them over without thinking much about it. Billy begins to actually shuffle in a way that would fit Vegas. 
He has to notice my mesmerized stare, but he says nothing. “Do you actually know how to play anything?”
My mom briefly worked at a casino when I was in the first grade and she’d have to bring me in sometimes, but I retained nothing. “Not really.” 
That starts something. A process that should have been short and easy. Billy trying to explain different versions of poker and Stu trying to trick me, but only sometimes so I couldn’t know to for sure not trust him. It’s a mess of laughter and a refreshing lack of angst. Every once in awhile, someone insists that a loser has to take a drag from a joint, so everyone’s progressively getting worse. I’m pretty sure Stu’s cheating somehow, but I have no proof and I’m too out of it to get any. 
It’s so lighthearted and genuinely fun that I’m fighting against the heaviness of my eyelids. It can’t be that late, but I’m already starting to feel drowsy. I’ve finally been given good cards, so I really need to get it together. “I won.”  
Stu scoffs, eyebrows drawing together as he eyes the cards I just set down. “No--that’s not--” 
“I won,” a yawn cuts my sentence in half, “Don’t be a loser about it.” 
Stu picks up all the cards, ignoring my protests. He’s already mixed me up a couple of times. “I can let you have this one, because you’re--” 
“Because you have to.” 
Billy turns his ankle, tapping his foot against my leg. “Don’t be mean about it.” 
That was nowhere near mean. “Dramatic, both of you.” 
Stu’s mouth falls open in a mock gasp as he continues to gather cards. I don’t know what he’s doing until he drops them all back into his drawer and shuts it. He then walks towards his dresser, pulls out a T-shirt, and tosses it in my direction. “After all I’ve done for you.” 
I pick up the T-shirt and fold it onto my lap but make no move to go to the bathroom to change. “I don’t want to go to sleep.” 
“You’re half asleep already.” Billy ignores the dirty look I give him. “Just change in case you fall asleep.” 
Stupid voice of reason. I scratch the back of my wrist and decide to give in. If for no other reason than the fact that Stu’s shirt is almost weirdly soft. Rich people must have access to different kinds of fabric. I reluctantly get up and find Stu’s bathroom.
I change quickly and take a second to make sure Stu gave me a long enough T-shirt. Thankfully, he did, so I don’t have to feel extra awkward about anything. I fold my clothes and bring them back with me. 
“Looks nice on you, babe.” 
Drowsiness hits harder without any distractions. I blink, unsure on how to respond. Stu’s always a flirt with everyone, but it feels a little weird to react to it while standing in his room at night in one of his T-shirts. “It’s the rich guy cotton.”
The corner of his mouth turns up. “And those legs.” 
“Shut up.” 
Billy turns onto his side, fluffing his pillow. “Go to sleep before he gets worse.” 
“Yeah.” The two of them look comfortable, all settled. “I’ll crash on the couch.” 
Stu props his head up on an elbow. “You don’t wanna do that. Living room’s creepy at night and you’ve smoked too much. You’ll get scared.” 
“I’m not 12.” 
“It’s safer here, you wouldn’t be alone if something happened.” 
Ugh, Stu can never resist trying to get me paranoid. “Nothing’s going to happen.” That’s what I thought when I was at Casey’s. 
“Just get in bed,” Billy mumbles, half asleep, “I know how this argument goes with the two of you.” When I don’t move, Billy sighs, “If I fall asleep and you get freaked out, I’m not helping.” 
Stu lays back down, “He means it. He’s an asshole when he’s tired.” He pauses for so long, I briefly think he might have fallen asleep. “...’S not a big deal.” 
True. It wouldn’t even be the first time we all fell asleep in the same bed. And Billy’s slept over in my room enough times for that to barely phase me. “Yeah.” 
I walk over towards the bed. “Drink water,” Billy mumbles the words with his eyes still shut. I look over at the nightstand and there’s a glass there that wasn’t there before. I drink a few long sips until Stu sits up to steal the glass from me. 
Rude. “Give me--” 
He downs the rest of it in a few gulps, “Go to bed.” 
I roll my eyes, but unfortunately do listen. Stu pushes me towards the middle, ignoring my surprised huff. I smack his arm before covering myself with his bed sheets. I barely get to reflect on how much of an asshole move that was before I fall asleep. 
----
A/n fun fact, there’s a moment in here where Y/n came superrr close to accidentally finding out who Ghostface is :) 
Taglist: @cole22ann @womenarecannibals @fand0mskullfa1ry @princessleah129 @i-amnotokaywiththis @fvcking-gxddess @suckmyass-things @im-better-than-your-newborn @michibuni @bigenargy @marli-lavellan @mushy-mushroom04 @neenieweenie @lone-ray @the-ruler-of-death @andthevillainshallrises @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @dixbolik-bby @thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth @peachycupotea @my5tica1ien @agustdeeyaa @astrial @3ll0kittylvr420 @zoleea-exultant @slaypussypop-21 @aonungs-tsahik @finnydraws @slytherhoes @vxarak @xofeeeeelsxo @thewayiknowyou @yourslashersfinalgirl @winterridinghood @maggieleighc 
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jo-harrington · 3 months
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Lack of Faith (Eddie Munson)
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Summary: Eddie Munson. Dungeon Master, Rock Star Wannabe, King of the Freaks and the Nerds. Can you believe that he doesn't like Star Wars?
Characters: Eddie Munson, Corroded Coffin, Wayne Munson, Dustin Henderson, Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair
Themes/Warnings: Our nerdy boy being a nerd, and his nerdlings making him worse, Star Wars references, might borrow some dialogue from the movie Fanboys (2009), boys will be boys, angst-ish, hurt/comfort-ish?, friendship, reference to some FOI characters, don't worry about it.
Note: This has been a thought that's lingered in my mind for quite some time as I am a HUGE Star Wars fan. And a little talk with @br0ck-eddie today (an unrelated topic) brought this back to the forefront of my mind. Tagging @fracturedarkness and @courtingchaos for no reason other than "you'll like it."
This is not an xReader fic. This is about Eddie and Star Wars and if you nerf-herders can't accept that, you can get the kriff out of here. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT JIZZ IS, KEEP FUCKING MOVING NORMIE.
You can find my masterlist here.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Enjoy!
---
It was a normal lunch period.
Well, as normal as it could be when you sat at Hellfire Club's table in the cafeteria. There was no talk of homework, or dates, or crushes.
Instead Gareth was tapping a beat against the edge of the table with two unsharpened No.2 pencils, Dave was working on a new character sheet with Eddie after he suffered a tragic and untimely death during their last session, and the freshman were arguing about something down at their end of the table.
Their heads were bent together, occasionally Mike would throw his head back and groan, and then get right back to his furious whispers. And although Eddie, gracious and fearless leader that he was, was typically grateful that they kept their mindless drivel to themselves, today he was curious.
He could hear little tidbits of their conversation and they intrigued him enough:
"...they still kissed."
"That was to make Han jealous."
"That was the second time, what about the first time?"
"The first time they were about to die!" Dustin got to his feet now, staring at Mike with wide, incredulous eyes. "They were swinging ten-thousand feet in the air!"
"Hey!" Eddie shouted at them now, as kids at the surrounding tables started to stare and laugh. And usually, yes, he'd flip them off, tell them to mind their own business. Pull the whole freak card to get them to look away. The freshman needed to learn when to not place a target on their own backs; he hopefully wouldn't be here to protect them forever. "Shut up! Sit down!"
The three boys immediately clamped their mouths shut and Dustin sunk back into his seat as the older boys snickered.
"What's so important that you're about to start throwing punches over there?" Eddie questioned. The boys seemingly made themselves smaller and Eddie had to sigh. "Come on, I'm not gonna bite your heads off."
The entirety of Hellfire Club shot a skeptical look at him and his rolled his eyes.
"M-maybe you can help us," Mike suggested. "We're in the middle of a debate."
"A debate? What kind of debate?"
"One of the utmost importance," Dustin said desperately. "Because Mike is insane."
"I am not! You're the one who's lost it. 'There's something innate.' Did we even watch the same movie?"
The boys all started to bicker again, louder this time, and Eddie needed to whistle to get them to quit it.
"See that's not very helpful. Why don't you tell me what movie, and what the problem is, and I can offer final and absolute judgement."
"Because you're right all the time," Jeff muttered under his breath to Gareth, causing Eddie to toss an eraser at him good-naturedly.
"Star Wars," the three freshman all answered simultaneously, and then they started talking over each other about whether Luke and Leia knew they were siblings when they kissed or if he had a thing for Leia and if Han was really weirded out by it all when he found out.
They were so caught up in their explanation that they didn't notice the members of Corroded Coffin get all tense, or the way that Eddie began to clench his fists and grit his teeth.
Until aforementioned lead guitarist stood up himself and hauled his backpack over his shoulder. They all stared at him, his bandmates with fearful eyes, and the freshman with hopeful ones.
"Easy," Eddie answered with a sardonic smile. "Star Wars is a dumb shit movie and you shouldn't waste your breath arguing over it."
And he walked past his friends just as the bell rang signaling the end of the period.
---
"What do you mean you don't like Star Wars?"
"Drop it Henderson."
"Is it...are you more of a Trek fan? Is that it?"
"It's not--"
"Because it's ok if you are! I like Star Trek too. I got Vulcan ears for Christmas last year and I have the new Klingon dictionary on hold at Waldenbooks. Pretty sure I'm already better at it than Latin."
"Do you not understand the meaning of drop it?" Eddie slammed his locker shut and stared at the younger boy. "I just don't like it. It's...it's--"
"It's a cultural phenomena!" Dustin cut him off. "It's only the most detailed and expansive fictional universes I've ever experienced. Even better than Tolkien."
"That's blasphemy," Eddie scoffed.
"Ok maybe not Tolkien," Dustin conceded, hands held out innocently. "But seriously, it's insane. I thought that you'd be all over it. I was gonna even talk to you about helping me plan a small one-shot for Lucas' birthday set in the Star Wars universe. I would DM!"
Eddie, though annoyed with the topic conversation, fondly pushed the bill of Dustin's hat over his eyes.
"Come on!"
"Listen I'll help you," Eddie promised. "Whatever you wanna cook up for Sinclair's birthday, I'm your guy. I'll even get the guys to come and play if you want a bigger group. Just anything but Star Wars ok?"
He started to walk away but Dustin was hot on his heels, dodging other students left and right to stay in-step with Eddie.
"Why not? Just give me one good reason why you don't like Star Wars, and I'll drop it. Is it because Obi-Wan wasn't secretly Luke's father? Or..." He fumbled over his words, struggling to find a reason that his friend didn't like one of his favorite series. "Or...because Wedge was a better pilot than Luke but somehow Luke was the star of the Rebel Alliance."
"Stop it now."
"Do you not like C-3P0? No one likes C-3P0! Wait...is that your favorite character and you don't like the movie because everyone else hates him?"
Dustin was sure he'd hit the nail on the head and offered explanations and tried to convince Eddie that he was all wrong. And all of it fell on annoyed ears until Eddie, at his wits end, turned and grabbed Dustin by the shoulders. He stopped them dead in their tracks in the middle of the hallway, uncaring of the other students groans and insults as they pushed past.
"I don't like Star Wars," Eddie said through gritted teeth, a sense of finality in his words so the subject could be dropped once and for all. "Because I've never seen the movies. And I don't want to. They're overhyped, and dumb, and just a way to get little idiots like you to spend their money on posters and action figures and life savers."
"Lightsabers," Dustin corrected him, but then backtracked. "Wh--Eddie? What do you mean? You have to have seen them! Ed...Eddie wait!"
The metalhead let him go and the quickly retreated into the crowd leaving Dustin to call after him, confused.
---
Of course, news spread to the other freshman quickly. Dustin was devastated, Lucas was lost, and Mike felt betrayed that his role model--loose definition--hadn't seen the movies that shaped him as a person to this day. Shaped all of them.
Into nerds.
Even Max was surprised to hear that her neighbor hadn't seen it, as she was dragged to the depths of the Wheeler's basement along with the boys to discuss how this all could have happened.
They thought of everything. Body swaps and mind control. A curse! Mike was dead set on Eddie being a die-hard trekkie and, as someone who disliked the Trek himself, got irrationally angry about it.
"I swear he didn't even bat an eye when I told him about the Klingon!" Dustin exclaimed. "I just...I don't know."
"Well have you asked the rest of the geek patrol?" Max questioned, and all the boys turned to stare at her. "If Eddie hates it so much that he doesn't want to talk about it, the others have known him for a lot longer than any of us have. They're bound to know something right?"
"See this?" Dustin snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "This is why we need you in Hellfire. Eddie wouldn't be able to trick us anymore, you'd see right through it."
"Not gonna happen," she deadpanned.
The boys protested her refusal to play DnD with them, but took her advice and ran with it.
For a solid week, they pestered Jeff, Gareth, and Dave. And for a solid week, the older boys refused to budge. They tried everything. Bribes, blackmail, threats.
"You think," Gareth laughed when the boys cornered him outside the locker room before PE. "That I'm gonna tell you anything after you threaten to have Steve Harrington beat me up? That guy might've been a big douchebag few years ago, but I know he's a loser working at Family Video now."
All hope was lost as he was about to head to class. Until Mike spotted someone out of the corner of his eye, leaving the athletics hall for their next class, and he was struck with inspiration. He called out to Gareth.
"What if I can get you one of my sister's bras?"
Gareth skidded to a halt and looked over his shoulder with shock and, surprisingly, intrigue.
"...go on," he nodded.
Thus, a negotiation was made before the coach blew his whistle. And a few days later after school, at the picnic table out in the woods behind the football field, the exchange took place.
"Gimme the goods," Gareth held his hand out for his bounty.
"Story first, bra later," Lucas scoffed at him. "Otherwise what's to stop you from taking it and leaving."
Gareth clenched his hands and then let out a long-suffering sigh.
"At least lemme see what color it is."
The three freshman ducked their heads together to discuss the risks, and then Mike unzipped his backpack and flashed the tiniest peak of pastel purple lace at him.
"Nice," Gareth nodded. "Alright! You better not have anywhere else to go, we're gonna be here for a little while."
"My mom's not coming to get us until 6," Dustin agreed.
Gareth then took the time to weave the tale. One he heard from Jeff, who heard it from some guy named Dougie, who heard it from a girl named Ronnie, who only knew about it because she was there.
"It's his closely kept secret," Gareth explained. "Ronnie was still here when I was a freshman, and she wouldn't say shit about it. Which is why this can never make it back to me."
"We swear," the boys said simultaneously, and all crossed their hearts.
Apparently, Eddie had been all excited for the very first Star Wars movie when it first premiered. He saw the posters for it at the Hawk and babbled on and on about what it might be about. He'd always been a little interested in space, thanks to Star Trek--
"I knew it!" Dustin exclaimed.
"God damn it!" Mike cursed. "He's a Trekkie!"
"Are you gonna let me tell this story?" Gareth hissed.
"Sorry," Lucas apologized and slugged both of his friends in the arm.
--and he thought Star Wars was gonna be the next big thing. He was sure of it. Not only that, it was gonna be his new favorite thing. He was hesitant to ask his dad to buy tickets for the two of them to go and see the movie together. What with money being tight and his dad's unreliable presence. Still, he heard that the local radio station was giving two tickets away and he called and called and called until he won them.
"Wow," Mike was awestruck. "Two tickets for the opening day of Star Wars. Can you imagine? What a lucky son of a bitch."
"Uh," Dustin watched Gareths shifting eyes and pursed lips. "Mike I think you're forgetting something."
"What?"
"He didn't see it, dipshit," Gareth sneered. "Duh. Isn't that the whole point of you guys bothering me with this? Did you forget?"
Eddie, excited for the day, told his dad, Al, two weeks in advance. He and Ronnie had picked up the tickets for the show after school one afternoon, lying to Ronnie's grandma about having detention. And Al Munson, father of the year, promised that he would be around to take Eddie.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said and flashed his charming smile at his young and hopeful son. "We can make a day of it, how's that? You got the tickets, I've got dinner at Benny's afterwards. And you can get a sundae for dessert."
Eddie was over the moon, happy that his dad was finally excited for something that he enjoyed. He couldn't be bothered with Lord of the Rings or Narnia or any of the other stories that Eddie enjoyed, but he was excited for this. Probably because it had Wars in it. But that was ok. Beggars couldn't be choosers.
And then the morning finally came. A Wednesday in May, almost time for summer break. Al was sitting on the couch looking at something in the newspaper and Eddie reminded him about the movie before he left to catch the school bus. Al simply patted him on the head and promised to pick him up at 3 so they'd have plenty of time to get a good seat and watch the previews.
"And then the asshole never showed up," Gareth scoffed and broke all the kids hearts.
They didn't know a whole lot about Eddie's dad; he purposefully said precious little except that he was in jail and "belonged there, good riddance." If a good word was said about anyone in Eddie's family, it was said about his uncle Wayne. And even then it was scarce. Hearing this whole story though instantly put a bad taste in their mouths about the elder Munson.
Gareth continued the story, telling them how Eddie sat at one of the picnic tables for his dad until Ronnie and her grandma offered to drive him to the theater so at least he could see the movie. Ronnie even offered to see it with him. But Eddie refused.
"He was sure that his dad was coming. Waited there for hours. Until the movie had started, and then was over. And then he walked home alone."
"But..." Mike frowned. "But then why didn't he try again? Why didn't he go to see it when Empire came out...or...or Lucas...remember when your dad took us to see Return of the Jedi a couple years ago? And we tried to get him to take us all to the midnight showing of the whole trilogy?"
"Yeah! He told us we were crazy for wanting to sit there for 8 whole hours."
"But he didn't wanna see it," Gareth shook his head. "That's the whole point. His dad pissed him off, and now...he's written it all off. He refuses, because...I guess he doesn't wanna admit how upset he was. I don't even know if he cried! Ronnie never told anyone what happened afterwards. We all just know not to say anything about Star Wars around him."
Gareth got his bounty in the end and left, and the three freshman all sat there, defeated.
"I almost wish he was a trekkie," Mike said sadly.
"My dad's left us and it's still somehow not that bad," Dustin whispered.
"Listen," Lucas straightened his shoulders and looked at his friends. "This...man it really sucks, but we can't just give up. Eddie deserves to know all the ups and downs of Star Wars. He would love it. Probably more than the three of us combined. Hell, even Max thought so!"
The other boys nodded in agreement and sat upright as Lucas got to his feet.
"Are we just gonna sit here and let our friend who always looks out for us miss out on the best thing that he's ever seen just cuz his dad's a big asshole? Or are we gonna look out for him too?"
Mike and Dustin clapped and cheered and whooped.
And then the three of them got out their notebooks and began to scheme.
---
Eddie rang the doorbell of the Wheeler's house and waited silently on the porch, hands fiddling with the small gift and binder in his hands.
9am was too fucking early for a birthday party, in his opinion, but for the kids--for Lucas--and for Dungeons and Dragons...eh...he could stand to lose some sleep on a Saturday.
As long as they were done by 7 so he could go make a few bucks at Matt Donovan's party over on Elm. He'd lose out on sleep, but not cash.
The door opened and a tired-looking Ted Wheeler looked Eddie up and down with a sigh, then waved him in.
"They're all downstairs," he droned. "Snacks and sodas in the kitchen. Karen's gone to the store to get more. We're ordering pizza for lunch and there'll be cake a little later."
"Great," Eddie gave him a stiff nod. "Thanks."
Ted grumbled something about "having enough birthday parties for his own three kids let alone their friends too" and Eddie rolled his eyes.
Asshole.
He kicked off his sneakers in the pile by the stairs to the basement and then shuffled down the steps, eager to join his favorite group of idiots for a day of fantasy escapism.
And he was excited; it had been a while since he'd gotten to play one of his characters and Dustin had put together a fantastic campaign for Lucas.
Only...when Eddie got to the basement, he was in for a shock.
No tables and chairs, no dice, no maps or figures. No binders or books or character sheets. Nothing.
Just his friends all sitting together on and around the couch facing the tv set that had been set up in front of it.
With lightsabers in their hands.
They all cheered when they saw Eddie, Lucas the loudest of all.
Well, not all of them. Jeff, Gareth, and Dave all looked about ready to run. Especially when they saw the scathing look on Eddie's face.
"You're finally here!" Lucas laughed. "You're late.
"Happy Birthday," Eddie deadpanned and threw the gift to him. "What the hell is going on here?"
"What does it look like?" Dustin snarked. "It's Lucas' birthday."
"It was supposed to be Dungeons and Dra--"
"Well, I changed my mind," Lucas said smugly. "I thought...you know what, save it for the summer so we can make it longer than just a one-off campaign. Dustin worked really hard on it after all."
Eddie couldn't deny that. Still he glared at the plastic...toys that the boys all held.
"And you just happened to pick Star Wars?" he asked, arms crossed over his chest as he eyed them all skeptically.
"It's my favorite," Lucas insisted. "Not the first time I've had a Star Wars themed party. First time we're watching the trilogy all the way through though."
"Yeah cuz someone fell asleep last time we tried," Dustin jabbed Mike in the shoulder with his lightsaber pointedly.
"That's why we're starting so early this time," Mike parried with a jab to Dustin's stomach.
"So," Lucas stared Eddie down with challenge in his eyes. "Are you just gonna stand there and ruin my party? Or are you gonna sit down? Because we're never gonna get to Empire by the time the pizza gets here if we don't start soon."
Eddie stared at the hopeful expressions in all of his friends--his little sheeps--faces. Even the ones who were familiar with his feelings about the franchise.
And he weighted his options.
Eddie was a man who abided by the code. He'd gotten burned to many times in life not to. And that code included things like never trust your dad, rich people are assholes, popular girls are bad news. Somewhere in that list though, between always change your underwear when you think they're still clean and shake the can of soda before you hand it to your friends was never watch Star Wars.
It'd been that way for years.
But since the start of the school year, since Eddie had met these three kids...he'd started changing his code.
Steve Harrington wasn't an asshole. Well he used to be, but he proved that he could change.
Not all popular girls were bad news. Nancy was helping him work towards a better grade in biology and the student council president had slipped her number into Eddie's locker the other day.
And while there might be things that would never change--his father wasn't trustworthy, end of story--he figured...for his friends he might be able to bend some of his self-imposed rules.
Eddie sighed and looked at television screen with the words A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away... frozen, and he felt a little pang in his heart.
And if he could do things like that for his friends...
His inner 10-year old self was sitting at that picnic table still, waiting for the van to pull into the parking lot. Only this time, he wasn't left high and dry. This time a much older Eddie drove up and popped open the van doors for little Eddie to hop in. They could finally fulfill this dream together.
...he certainly could do things like that for himself.
"Alright," he closed the distance and pushed his way through his friends so he could plop front and center on the floor in front of the television. He tried to keep the sour attitude, but as a blue plastic lightsaber was pressed into his hands, he couldn't help but crack a smile. "Let's see what all the hype is about."
The group cheered and Gareth pressed play on the remote.
And as the swell of music began and STAR WARS flashed on the screen, Eddie said aloud...
"Hey guys, what if it sucks?"
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