#[ he's the exact same number of bolded things for each i'm living ]

[sapphicwhxre]

nemesis

♥︎ pairing: pansy parkinson x fem!reader, past draco malfoy x reader and draco malfoy x pansy parkinson

♥︎ summary: you reconnect with the girl that draco malfoy cheated on you with at hogwarts, and realise you have more in common than you thought ─ including the belief that the other knew they were the other girl.

♥︎ warnings: past cheating, asshole draco, arguing, use of the word slut, swearing, slut shaming, bar/alcohol, enemies to lovers

♥︎ a/n: we’re acknowledging that the title isn’t nemesis it’s nemesis but how taylor swift says it in long story short 💅🏼 also just yay ‘cause idk if anyone remembers since i shitpost so often but i’ve wanted to write this forever and i finally did it!!

you have got to be fucking kidding me.

that was your first thought when you saw her.

today was horrible. troubles everywhere you went and you thought you’d be safe in your favourite coffee shop. well, you were wrong. in line, there stood pansy parkinson, the slytherin princess herself.

pretty, put together, pansy fucking parkinson. the girl your highschool love ─ or so you’d thought ─ had cheated on you with for a year. you were over draco, truly, and hoped he’d matured after the war but to see the reason for all his lies to you left a stinging, bitter taste in your mouth.

you’d finish your coffee and be on your way, simple. there was no reason to acknowledge her or remember the smug look on her face as she kissed him, on one of the many days he stood you up. why torture yourself by remembering the glint of happiness in his eyes turning into one of panic when he saw you watching? you hadn’t cried that hard in years and weren’t planning on it. not over a stupid high school nemesis, you're better than that.

downing the hot liquid as fast as you could, you gathered your things and walked straight for the exit, not daring to glance at her. almost there, just a few more steps. but of course, the universe could never let you catch a break. the ladies’ restroom door flew open only an inch away from you and you were now face to face with pansy parkinson. shit.

as if in shock or relaying every dirty memory about the other, you stood in silence for a moment. “i didn’t know you lived around here,” pansy finally broke the ice. she swallowed after unleashing her hissing tone on you, visibly thinking hard about merlin knows what. “away from it all, i mean.”

nodding, you forced out a smile, determined not to return her clear irritation at seeing you. maybe it was childish to hold onto the past. “i do,” you agreed. “i’m more surprised that hogwarts’s resident pureblood princess is living in the muggle world, especially going to places like a cheap, shitty coffee shop.” pent up venom hit the both of you and you instantly regretted what you’d said, ruining the civil demeanor you’d hoped to keep.

the pursed-lipped scowl you’d grown so used to seeing in the halls during your school years met you and pansy crossed her arms, standing up tall. “things change, l/n,” she spat, omitting any details she’d considered giving away. “what about you? you’re here too, couldn’t find another girl’s boyfriend to sleep with?”

here you were just like old times, bickering and hissing petty insults at the other. you narrowed your eyes and scoffed, “isn’t that your area of expertise, parkinson? being so pretty and perfect that you just can’t help going and wrecking a good relationship?”

pansy looked deeply unsettled and upset. she raised her voice so much that any louder and she’d be causing a scene. “what are you on about?” pansy all but yelled. “you were the side chick! draco loved me until you went and started to spread your legs for him!”

you blinked at her, processing her words. there was no way, no way that she thought you were the other girl. she was the slut that fucked everything up, not you.

then it hit you. neither of you were to blame. “fucking draco malfoy.” you sighed, de-escalating suddenly. your eyes flickered up to pansy’s apologetically. “he lied to both of us, didn’t he?”

pansy stared at you blanky before responding, much more softly than before. “you... you mean you didn’t know he was seeing me?” she asked, curiously. you shook your head no and pansy quieted for a moment. “i didn’t know about you either, l/n, honest,” pansy said.

maybe it was the tender sincerity you hadn’t known she was capable of but without knowing what came over you, you sat down at the table beside you and gestured an invitation. “do you maybe want to talk? try to put this behind us?” eyes widening, pansy didn’t answer. she did, however, take a hesitant seat across from you and gaze at you oddly.

“the things i said were awfully petty, uncivilized, and immature. i'm sorry,” you hurried out an apology and added, “today and when we were in school.” something about the situation filled you with so much. anger that you’d blamed the girl who was a victim just like you instead of the abuser. sympathy and sadness for how she was feeling since you’d spent so many nights with your face buried in your pillow and feeling the exact same thing.

pansy smiled surprisingly warmly and exhaled deeply. “i’m...” she seemed to struggle with finding the right words. “i’m sorry too. all this time, i never even stopped to consider that you were hurt too.” you felt the same way, all of the hatred you had for pansy parkinson melting away. she was just a girl who, like you, trusted the wrong boy. no one deserved to be punished for that. yet you’d inflicted your hurt on the other for years. “draco’s a fucking dick.”

slightly caught off guard by her shift in demeanor, you laughed ─ to her surprise. “yeah, draco is a fucking dick. there’s a bar just a few blocks from here, care to let me buy you a drink?” you proposed. “it’s the least i can do after thinking you were a homewrecker for the past almost decade.”

“it’s only noon,” she objected and you raised your eyebrows. pansy looked to her lap, allowing herself a laugh that sounded dangerously close to a pleased giggle. “i’d like that.” you helped her with her things and for an unapparent reason, you noticed that her nose crinkled when she laughed and couldn’t help but think she looked awfully pretty. for the first time, you noticed pansy's beauty in a kind way, not one filled with jealousy.

on the way to and eventually inside of the bar, you and pansy conversed shockingly easily. you found many things in common. you had the same favourite hobbies, made fun of the lines that draco had disgustingly used on the both of you, and even ordered the same drink. you and pansy acted as if you’d always been best friends. you clicked so well that it was hard to believe you’d ever hated each other.

“y/n, you’re kidding, that was you?” pansy snorted with laughter, on the edge of her seat at one of your stories you were sharing. the use of your first name sounded like honey on her tongue and the feeling in your chest told you it was something you could get used to. “blaise and i were laughing for weeks, how on earth did you manage to not get caught?” she propped up on her elbows and listened intently.

“it’s a secret, pansy,” you rolled your eyes playfully, fondly recalling the memory you’d shared of you and hermione accidentally filling dumbledore’s study with bubbles that dyed anything they touched. you hadn’t followed the witch’s instructions and absolutely refused to let her turn you two in. who knew it’d make for a great conversation piece all these years later?

“oh, you’ll tell me one day,” she sighed. one day. you had to say, despite having butted heads at the beginning of your encounter... you got along incredibly with pansy. you could genuinely say that you were elated to hear her say ‘one day’ as if it was fact that you’d see each other again.

laughter dying down, you grinned at pansy and took her hand. the back of your mind told you that you’d only been friends for a few hours and that physical affection should be off the table. but something about pansy made the unfamiliarity not matter.

“i never thought i’d find you so wonderful,” you admitted. “makes me think we should have dated each other instead of that blonde ferret prat back in hogwarts.”

pansy didn’t laugh at your half-joke, instead taking the hand you’d extended in both of hers. “we could always start now, since said blonde is out of the picture.” briefly taken aback by her boldness, you returned her glossed smirk and felt a flutter in your chest. you turned and sprawled your number out on a nearby napkin, handing it to her.

“i do have to get going. but it’s a date then, parkinson.”

“i’ll see you then, l/n.”

and in the fateful turn of events you never would have expected at the start of that already terrible day, you found yourself unbelievably excited to see pansy again.

•──♥︎

#pansy parkinson #pansy parkinson x reader #pansy parkinson imagine #pansy parkinson fluff #pansy parkinson fanfiction #pansy x reader #pansy imagine #pansy fluff #harry potter #harry potter series #harry potter x reader #hogwarts x reader #harry potter x you

[mrs-tsunderemeitantei]

Wakasa Rumi Theory Series: Part 2 of 3

Hello lovelies! This is my second part of my Wakasa Rumi Theory that will go over my thoughts about Haneda Koji's murder and his dying message.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Just for reference, I already covered the first three points in Part 1 and the ones in bold are the ones I'm covering in this post:

Why I think she's Asaca.

Her probable relationship to Haneda Koji.

How she became Amanda's bodyguard.

What might have happened on the day of Haneda Koji's murder.

How Haneda Koji's dying message directly refers to RUM as his killer.

Why Wakasa went on a hiatus for 17 years since the murder.

Reason behind Haibara liking Wakasa.

With that out of the way, happy reading 😁💛.

4. What might have happened on the day of Haneda Koji's murder.

So based on the blog that uploaded, we know that two people were killed in each of their own hotel rooms; Haneda Koji and Amanda Hughes (an investor who holds powerful connections to the FBI and CIA). While Haneda Koji showed bruises and signs of struggle against his assailant, the actual cause of his death was unclear, as well as with Amanda Hughes. (In reality, the cause of his death is because of APTX-4869 and the same can be assumed for Amanda). Both rooms were left in a total mess with crockery and glass broken as well as taps left running in the bathroom. Amanda was a huge fan of Haneda Koji and happened to visit him in his room the day of the murder before they were killed. Also on the same day, her bodyguard whom she called 'Asaca' disappeared and she is the main suspect of the murders. Interestingly, something else went missing from the crime scene which was Haneda Koji's Watchtower Bishop (a shogi piece he deemed as his lucky charm). His family is convinced he would never parted without the shogi piece and whoever has it must be the murderer.

All these accusations point to Wakasa because not only has she disappeared for 17 years and her identity is shrouded in mystery, but she also has the exact shogi piece that went missing from the crime scene...So, what exactly happened?

Based on the fact that only Haneda Koji's body was bruised, I'd say he put up a fight after witnessing Amanda's death. The likelihood that he used the taps in her bathroom to cut the mirror before fleeing to his room where he was then finished off is very possible. Why? The case similar to 17 years ago foreshadowed it.

I'm guessing when Amanda was murdered, Wakasa was probably out for whatever reason and upon her return, she saw Amanda's state. She then walked in and saw Haneda's body. The reason why I'm convinced she discovered their bodies and did not happen to be there when they died was her reaction in Chapter 1032 to blood and her obvious knowledge about how bodies do not necessarily smell until days later after their death. This could very well imply she lived through this before, which is why she is so knowledgeable of the topic. And smelling blood, reminded her of when she found Haneda dead in his room.

She then noticed the cut up mirror with one part of it looking like a shogi piece. As she picked it up, RUM returned to clean up and they ended up struggling in a fight before she managed to escape. The reason why I think Wakasa was in a physical fight with RUM was how triggered she seemed when she saw him leave the school after his delivery. The way she looked at him with such apprehension, it shows as if she were remembering their interaction before.

She would turn out to be RUM's mistake. He couldn't finish her off and not only did he leave a loose end, but she also ran away with a crucial part of Haneda Koji's dying message, leaving RUM unable to fully destroy the crime scene. Also RUM is clearly aware of its significance to Haneda Koji's dying message. Especially after he not-so-subtly mentioned it to Conan in Chapter 1057.

The final thing in relation to this part of the theory is Wakasa's flashback of Haneda Koji in the Collecting Edible Wild Plants Chapter. Why was she calling him a fool? It made a lot of sense when I found out the actual meaning of the proverb Haneda Koji said in her flashback.

The proverb he said is 'with a watchtower bishop there must be a brilliant move'. This proverb translates to the Bishop should stay at a distance while aiming at the opponent's camp rather than approaching them directly. Now that we know the actual meaning of the proverb, Wakasa's words make more sense. She guessed that he probably underestimated RUM and approached him rather than escaping him. Hence why Wakasa refers to him as a foolish person because in the end he got himself killed. Not because she thinks he's a fool and she managed to kill him. Again, a classic on Gosho's part to frame innocent characters as threatening and dangerous when the truth is she is just extremely upset over his death. Her collapse to the ground shows just how much Haneda meant to her. If anything, she probably like Rei, feels guilty she couldn't save him in time, which is why the memory of him is so triggering to her.

Phew, finally done with the fourth point 😂 There really was so much to unpack there. Anyways, I hope it made sense...

5. How Haneda Koji's dying message directly refers to RUM as his killer.

Now that it has been confirmed that RUM is Wakita, I'll be showing how Haneda Koji's dying message refers to "RUM", aka Carasuma's number 2.

The key to solving the message lies in the broken mirror and linking it to the shogi piece. Akai and Yusaku already solved the true meaning behind the broken mirror. The remaining pieces on the mirror had the letter PTON. These letters are not needed and the letters that do matter are the scattered ones from the original 'PUT ON MASCARA'. If we remove PTON we are left with U MASCARA which was then rearranged to CARASUMA. However, one letter in particular was cut out in the form of a shogi piece. If we write 'CARASUMA' with the shogi piece border around the letter U, it will seem as if it is hinting to another message within CARASUMA. That would form a word: UMA. UMA translates to Dragon Horse and is the promoted version of the Watchtower Bishop (the shogi piece held by Haneda Koji). (Promoted in shogi means to simply flip the original shogi piece to use its 'levelled-up' power...It's the same piece not two separate shogi pieces). Therefore, if we flip Haneda Koji's shogi piece, it will show UMA which is the more powerful form of the Watchtower bishop.

Anyways, what is the significance of UMA and how does it relate to anything? Well, Uma in shogi is the second strongest shogi piece. The strongest shogi piece is Dragon King (Ryū). Based on this we can assume this is the dying message. UMA of Carasuma (second strongest / number 2 aka RUM) of Carasuma killed me. This might seem too far-fetched but there was too much coincidence when I found out about Uma's strength as a shogi piece that it made sense to me to think that Haneda Koji's dying message points straight to RUM. However, I'm not sure how Haneda Koji figured out that RUM is Carasuma's number 2 in the first place. Maybe it was during his struggle against him before his death or maybe he overheard Amanda before her death talk about it, but so far this is what i came up with.

I hope you guys enjoyed this part of my theory. The final points will be addressed in Part 3 (linked here) so have fun 😁💛

(In cased you missed the first post, this is the link for Part 1)!

#dcmk #dcmk theories #dcmk character analysis #case closed #detective conan #wakasa rumi #rumi wakasa #wakasa-sensei #wakasa sensei #asaca #RUM #rum #Rum #Rum arc #RUM arc #Haneda Koji #case from 17 years ago #dc character analysis

[stargaze-issei]

ᴅᴀʏ 𝟼; ғᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ʙʟᴏᴄᴋᴇʀ

-> tsukishima kei.

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; same tattoo, shared dreams, soulmates!au.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; none.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 1.8k

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; fluff.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; the way i want to make a series out of everything in this challenge sigh.

↳ main masterlist

"what does it mean, tsukki?" yamaguchi asked by his side, looking with curiosity the needle leaving marks on his friend's skin. 

tsukishima wanted to get a tattoo through his complete adolescence, his parents never allowed it, not until he could pay it by himself, at least. and there he was, eighteen years old, watching in amazement how one of his few dreams became true. being honest, he wasn't sure what it meant, but he had dreamed about those numbers a lot. since he was thirteen, the same number appeared not only in his dreams, but was everywhere else too, everytime he checked the hour, the number of his locker, even his volleyball shirt. of course it took him a while to figure it out, but once he saw it, he couldn't stop. it became his luck number. 

"are you sure you just want that?" the artist wondered for the third time.

"yeah, it's important to me" the smile on tsukishima's face was completely different to all the others yamaguchi had seen since they knew each other. 

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

"please, come see me play, you're always busy!" your friend, koganegawa, could be a pain in the ass if he wanted to. he could be one withouth wanting too. your job as an assistant teacher kept you occupied half of the day, add the hours at college and how much you had to study, to say it was hard to make room in your life was an understatement. which was why you never went to kogane's games after highschool.

"i told you i can't! i have... work" 

"you don't work at nights, idiot! come see me play" he was so annoyingly persistent, that you had to accept, earning a excited hug from him.

after he left your appartment, only because you made him, you let yourself drop onto the couch, sighing. in fact, you were tired, but going to see kogane, one of your only friends, was something you could do. he was always so supportive, in his own unique way, it was the least you could do for him. you scratched your collarbone, unconciously going over your tattoo with your fingers, like checking if it was still there. somehow, that piece of inked skin gave you strengths when you felt like you were at your limit. the memory of a well known dream came to your mind, making you giggle.

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

you knew koganegawa's team was a professional team, but you never expected them to have a cheering squad, and local tv cameras and periodists focusing on them. it was your first time at the gym where they were playing, a little anxiety growing in your chest not knowing where to go. you tried calling him to help you, but all you got was a text saying he had sent somebody to your rescue. 

"hi, are you kogane-kun's friend?" said a short blonde girl, touching your shoulder. she seemed really kind, making you feel more comfortable instantly.

you mumbled a positive respond, and she quickly grabbed your hand to take you to the bleachers like she knew the place by hand. she introduced herself as yachi hitoka, and said the game was about to start. she was also a friend of one of the players, but met some others, like koga, in highschool. 

in the exact moment that you and yachi sat, the starting whistle blowed, starting with the power serve of a bleached haired guy.

yachi guide you through the game, explaining the basics to you, but you couldn't take your eyes off of the blond man with glasses, he looked so familiar, though you were sure it was the first time you saw him. he intrigued you, a lot. you were too shy to ask yachi for his name, hoping to catch it on through the speakers at some point, or trying to remember if kogane had said something about him. the game went on, points were made by everyone, and every single one the setter did, he looked at you, searching for a reassurance smile. 

when it finished, a crushing victory from the frogs, you and your new friend went to wait for them outside of the compound, yachi felt the need to warn you before you met everyone. 

"see, kyoutani can be a little... intense, some times, but he's really nice, and tsuk-"

"y/n! did you see me!? did you see my points!? we were so great!" she was interrupted by an overly excited koganegawa walking towards you, along with two ther blondes. your cheeks burned at the sight of whom you had glared so hard just minutes ago, wondering if he had noticed. his face was buried on his phone, too busy to look up, disappointing you a little.

"i saw you, dumbface, that's what i came to do" he pouted at your fake insult, proceeding to shout to kyoutani by his side how awesome you were for going to his game. you introduced yourself, one of they boys said to be kyoutani kentaro, the one of your interest didnt't even reply.

tsukishima had heard your voice many times before, but for the first time, he was awake. his eyes opened wide, a soft hum of confusion left his mout. it couldn't be you, you were just a made up person from his dreams, someone who he had never seen, less say heard talking, to recognize that fast. although it was you. those eyes, that voice, that hair, it was you. he had dreamed about you for so long, in his mind, at the beginning you were his same age, growing up as he did. you were exactly like that woman.

"...tsukki!" he came back to earth thanks to kogane, who was frenetically moving him from his shoulders trying to get his attention. 

"get off" was all tsukishima answered.

"where's yamaguchi?" asked yachi. you didn't know what they were talking about, but you had witnessed the glasses boy, whom's name appears to be tsukki, go through a complete life crisis in the last minute.

"he's joining us at the restaurant" he said, starting to walk away by his own, followed by kyoutani and yachi, later by kogane pulling you from your arm to walk. 

yachi and koga talked enough to fill the uncomfortable aire in the table once everybody ordered. a man named yamaguchi arrived a few minutes earlier, still in office clothes. he congratulated the guys on their victory and greeted you nicely, presenting himself as "tsukki's friend". 

the minutes became hours, everyone, except you and tsukki, was drunk, even kyoutani had that red color on his cheeks because of the alcohol. yachi, who had stated that she was just a little tipsy, sober up when she saw how late it was. 

"i have to work tomorrow! we all have to! oh go, i can't believe i let kogane- tsukishima, could you please take y/n home while i get these three an uber?" despite being so small, the girl seemed to be completely in charge of everything, probably because of her years as manager in highschool, you thought.

"are you sure you don't need help with them?" you asked, a bit curious about how was she going to handle two giants and a man with rabies by herself.

"don't worry, i've been doing this since highschool, i'm more worried about you arriving safe"

"i'll take her, you stay at yamaguchi's and text me when you're there" intervined tsukishima, he had been quiet most of the night, even though he couldn't look less interested in being there, he still refused to leave. sometimes, he would stare at you when you weren't paying attention, without knowing that you actually felt his look on you. the girl agreed to his proposal, kissing your cheek goodbye and giving her friend a small hug before you took your things and got out of the place, followed by the tall man. 

the walk was silence after you told him you lived near enough to walk, him just nodding to your words. you didn't feel uncomfortable, though, and you wanted to believe neither did he. both of you were at a really short distance, and he didn't seem to care, but you smell of strawberry shortcake coming out of him. you giggled, thinking how funny it was that such an intimidating guy smelled like cake. tsukishima glared at you, disconcerted by your sudden laugh at no apparent reason.

"i used to go to this coffee house in highschool, they had the best strawberry cake i have ever eaten" your random fact caught tsukishima off guard, because he went to a coffee house with a really good strawberry cake since highschool too. he stayed silence, affraid to keep finding more shared details betweent the two of you. "i mean, don't think i talk about cake when- you smell like- i'm sorry" had you just made the situation hundred times worse? yes, you had. 

the rest of the walk was as silent as the first half, now, tsukishima was uncomfortable, so much that you could tell, but still, he choose to stay close to you instead of making distance. despite being a autumn night, you felt hot, your multiples layers of clothing were now making you sweat. without giving it much thought, you took off your jacket and sweater, leaving at sight you tattoo in you collarbone. tsukki tried, he really did, to not look at you, stripping like it was nothing, so when he did, and saw his exact same tattoo in your body, he stopped walking. his jaw barely hit the floor, you could swear he saw a ghost.

"are you okay? d-do you...? what are you doing?" he got over his shocked, and in a light of boldness, he started to take off his coat and sweater, not only that, but lifting his shirt until you could see his nipple and ribs. it was then when you saw it too, your tatto, the exact same details, were on his skin, like it was printed of the same printer. you hadn't chose a design from an artist, you drew one on your own, wanting to be the only of its kind, yet, there you were.

like someone had opened a door in your mind, memories of lost dreams came back, you remembered from where tsukishima seemed so familiar. that damned dream you had for years, of him, who you thought was a creation from your subconscious, was now standing right in front of you, in flesh and bones. not you nor tsukishima knew how to react, maybe, fearing that the other would run away. a strange urge to cry invaded you, and for some reason, a intense desire to feel the blonde closer.

"i want to take you on a date, if that's okay with you" 

"yes" you said not a second late, almost begging him to be with you from that day to your last.

"and i wanna kiss you right now" he didn't even let you answered before jumping to your lips, leaning a bit. you sighed in the middle of the kiss, relieved to feel him and his warm arms around you, your lips moving at synch.

his lips tasted like strawberry too.

⌙ 𝟐𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 🥳

#tsukishima haikyuu #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei fluff #tsukishima hq #haikyuu fluff #haikyuucreations #haikyuu tsukki #tsukki x reader #tsukki fluff #– star's; originals! [❀]

[tyunniverse]

FRIENDS FOR A DAY (2)

pair: yeonjun x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2654

parts: 1 | 2

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

It had been a long time since Yeonjun felt like this. Sometimes life in general had become too much to bear and the things that used to make him happy weren't working for him anymore. Times spent alone slowly became more frequent for him than times he'd spent with his friends.

He'd skipped the first day, not wanting to go back to that routine life just yet. And towards the start of the day, he would never have imagined meeting you and getting to spend the day doing things that strayed far from any of the schedules he'd previously planned. A breath of fresh air was what he liked to call it, and he had you to thank for that.

Unlike him, everything was new to you; a new city, a new school, new people, and a whole new life ahead. Yeonjun felt a little envious after realizing it when you'd talked more about yourselves during lunch, but after seeing how you seemed to enjoy every single second of your little sight seeing endeavor, he thought that maybe he could also be a part of something new in your life.

Best friends.

You had agreed to be his best friend from today onwards; the pendant around your neck serving as proof. Yeonjun finds his hand wandering over to his pocket, holding on to his old necklace.

Half of a star. He'd bought it a few years back. The necklace had a similar purpose with the one he was wearing now— meant to be worn separately by two different people. In his case, he had bought it as a whole and had decided to keep one half of it still in its case, stashed inside his closet. His reasons for purchasing it never really felt clear even to him but he also wouldn't call it an impulsive decision. Yeonjun liked to think that he'd be able to find a use for it in the future.

"Yeonjun." You call for his attention, pointing at the posters plastered on a random shop's wall. "It says that the annual carnival will be opening tonight. Wanna go?"

Yeonjun grins. Opportunities somehow kept showing up right in front of his doorstep. "Yeah, only if you want to though. Afterall, I'm only the tour guide for today."

"Shut up." You hold back a smile. "Have you been there before?"

Yeonjun repeats the question in his mind. As someone one would consider pretty popular, you'd expect him to be no stranger in hanging out at fun places like an annual carnival, but that's just it. Yeonjun had never visited that Carnival once ever since it opened. His friends had asked him to tag along but something about it just never seemed to make him want to.

"No." Yeonjun answers, scratching the back of his head. "If we end up going then this would be my first time too." The first time he'd actually wanted to go.

"I guess we're going then." You grin and Yeonjun finds himself smiling back. "It says here that the Carnival's just around the corner so it'd probably be okay if we just walked there."

"Yeah."

The two of you make your way to the Carnival. You still had a good amount of time left before it opened so a few quick stops at some stalls along the way didn't do any harm.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

In all honesty, Yeonjun didn't even know when and how he'd ended up holding your hand, laughing his heart off by the time you arrived at the entrance but it all just happened somehow. Was it the when your ice cream cone almost landed straight on his shoe earlier? Or when his hand nearly hit you square in the face when he noticed a bug flying towards you? It could've even been when a group of old ladies started hitting on him at the handbag boutique and all you did was stand there shaking, wanting to laugh your ass off.

No matter what the reason was, he liked this. Somehow, it just felt right.

The two of you pay for the tickets before heading inside. The place was larger than any of you had ever expected, cleaner too. People of all ages were enjoying their carnival experience to the fullest. Children were running around with their guardians following closely behind, couples and groups of friends chatting along and taking pictures— Yeonjun could swear he saw two old men arguing over who gets to take a picture with the mascot first.

"So, which ride do you wanna go on first?" You ask, turning to him.

"Well, how about that one." Yeonjun points at the viking and you feel yourself getting more and more excited.

"NICE—" Before Yeonjun knew it, you were dragging him around to every single ride at the carnival.

You liked to keep count of everytime Yeonjun freaked out while you went on the rides, and Yeonjun liked to do the same. Despite the thrill of being at a carnival keeping you hyped up, there were a few times when you had overestimated your tolerance with being thrown around. Yeonjun nearly puked twice: once at the twister, and a second time on the rollercoaster. Even you were almost a victim by the rollercoaster's loops.

Yeonjun had claimed he was an expert at navigating haunted house attractions, stating, "I've been watching horror movies all my life. Nothing scares me at this point, tbh." True enough, nothing scared Yeonjun except every single ominous decoration and jump scares the haunted house threw at him. You weren't too fond of horror yourself, but you ended up trying to be the brave one after Yeonjun basically clung to you half of the time. It didn't help whenever you freaked out since you ended up losing Yeonjun after he not so subtly abandons you at the slightest suspicious sound. It was a miracle you made it out in one piece.

"Yeah, so, uh, sorry about that." Yeonjun laughs it off the moment you two got out.

"Sure but you should know that I'm never gonna let you live it down." You tell him, smiling widely as you hold up the photos you received from one of the staff. "I got evidence."

Yeonjun snatches the photos from your hands. "Bold of you to assume these'll affect me— oh." It definitely did.

You watch as he slips the photos inside his jacket as if it wasn't obvious enough that he was trying to hide it from you. "Nice try but," You take out another batch of photos and wave it around. "Boom. Two copies."

"Wow, okay."

The two of you ended up laughing at each other before you suggest in trying out the stalls. They say time flies by fast when you're having fun and they couldn't be more right. There had been an unspoken competition between you and Yeonjun of who can win the most prizes and let's just say you weren't about to let yourself lose. By the time you got tired, you had a total of three plushies and a bunch of candy bars stuffed in your pockets and well, Yeonjun had the exact amount of prizes you had.

"Fine. It's a draw for now but only because I'm tired." Yeonjun holds the plushies tighter. "We should really get a bag for this. I wonder if we can get a huge plastic bag somewhere."

"Nah, we can just put em in here." You take off your back pack, opening it wide. "I'm sure it can fit all six of them. They're small enough." You were lucky that they did, finally leaving your hands free.

"Wait." Yeonjun pauses after putting the last of his plushies inside. "How can I be sure you won't just take my plushies for yourself after we leave? I'm pretty easy to distract so—"

"If you forget to get them back then I'll just hand them to you tomorrow at school. You go to HSU too, right?" You tell him.

"Yeah, but how will you contact me?"

"Obviously, we exchange numbers."

Yeonjun blinks. Of course that'd be the simplest solution but still. He'd been talking about staying as friends even after all this but the thought of exchanging numbers hadn't really crossed his mind. He takes out his phone and the two of you quickly added each other as contacts, somehow feeling a bit closer after the exchange.

"While we're at it—" Yeonjun pulls you in closer as he bends down. Only now that you've felt Yeonjun's warmth close to you have you noticed how cold it actually was outside . It takes you a few seconds to register that he wants to take a few selfies.

You bust out a smile and tried to go along with whatever weird faces and poses he did. "Send them to me later." You say after examining the photos. There's one where Yeonjun mimicked a kissing motion near your cheek, making you smile. Who would've expected you two were total strangers up until a few hours ago.

"Got room for one last ride?" Yeonjun asks as you return his phone.

"Yeah, sure. Which one?"

"Don't ask as if you don't know. I'm pretty sure you left this one out on purpose."

Perhaps unconsciously, you did. In every single movie that involved the two characters going to a carnival, for some reason, they always left the Ferris Wheel for last. It's not like you wanted something grand to happen when you ride it, but more like you just wanted to get a good view of the entire carnival before leaving. It seemed like the perfect final attraction.

Yeonjun notices how you've gone quiet and decided to hold your hand, pulling you along. "Let's go before the place closes."

"Okay." You look up at him, nodding.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

The Ferris Wheel ride wasn't all you had expected it to be. It looked pretty slow in the movies but right now? You were about to puke.

"Yeonjun, wait." You hold on to Yeonjun who was sitting opposite to you.

The Ferris Wheel was going too fast to your liking and you started feeling dizzy. Getting a good view of the carnival seemed impossible at this point and looking at your partner made you even more miserable.

Yeonjun was having the time of his life. He loved the feeling in his stomach whenever the ride went down, and the fact that you were lowkey suffering right in front of him made him laugh even harder.

The speed went on for a few more rounds until it finally slows down. Your heart and probably everything else stilled once the ride came to a complete stop just as your car reached the top. "Thank God. I felt like I was going to die."

"Well, you're safe for now." Yeonjun grins, leaning back in his heat. "You wanted to enjoy the view, right? We'll be stuck here for probably about a minute or two so enjoy it while it lasts."

"Yeah." You smile back, looking outside the window.

The winds were colder up there, reminding you of how warm it felt when you stood close to Yeonjun earlier. Yeonjun catches you warming yourself up with your hands and chuckles. He takes off his jacket and hands it over to you. "Here, put this on."

"Thanks." You quickly put his jacket on. Usually you'd go for the polite route and turn him down but if you were going to continue this friendship business then you weren't about to suffer in the cold when the dude's practically handing you a solution.

Yeonjun gives you a little smile before you continue to admire the view. Down there, the lights almost looked like a sea of stars. The music around the place didn't really help set the mood but somehow, the mixture of it along with the laughter and delightful screams of the other visitors made it feel right. After everything that happened today, you felt like it was the right decision to end the day with this breathtaking sight.

And Yeonjun couldn't agree more. The lights below reflected in your eyes in a way that made the atmosphere lighter. He could tell you were happy and right now, that seemed to be enough for him.

The Ferris Wheel began moving. Yeonjun snickers as he felt you grab for his hand, worried that the ride might throw you off once more, but it didn't. The way down was slow, allowing you to enjoy the ride in peace. Your pendant started to shine, reflecting the lights. It reminded him of everything that happened, from the moment you two met and agreed on a friendship that would last for only a day, up until now where he held your hand on the Ferris Wheel after deciding to be friends for real this time. The pendant became the sole proof of that friendship and Yeonjun couldn't help but wonder if the ones he bought a few years back would truly be of any use in the future. But what would it symbolize for? Who knows, he might just give you the other half.

Your car comes to a stop and the doors open. The realization that the day has officially come to an end left you feeling disappointed. Yeonjun squeezes your hand, bringing your attention to him. He gestures for the two of you to get up and you do, finally stepping back on the ground.

Both you and Yeonjun felt that the way back to the entrance was too fast. It really did seem like the two of you wouldn't see each other again despite the fact you went to the same university. The thought felt silly but that's just how the carnival experience gets to you.

"I guess this is it." Yeonjun speaks up first. "You live pretty far from here, right? I can take you home if you want."

"It's okay. My cousin lives nearby and I texted her earlier that I'd be staying over." You tell him, not wanting him to worry. "How about you? Will you be alright on your own?"

"Yeah, definitely." Yeonjun reassures, holding up his hands. "Oh, and by the way. Is it okay if I leave the plushies on your bag for now? I can't exactly carry them on the way back. If it's ok with you."

"Don't worry. You can just take them back tomorrow." You grin and Yeonjun smiles back. "Also, I'm keeping your jacket for now. I'll return it after I clean it up."

"I can work with that." He shouldn't feel this happy but he did. In a way, he was able to find an excuse to meet up with you tomorrow without things getting awkward. Maybe this friendship could work out afterall.

"Thanks for today. Honestly, this was the most fun I've had ever since I got here." You say, taking one last look at him.

I should be the one to thank you. "You know, I have a lot of things I wanna say to you right now but I think I'm gonna wait until I feel like it."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. I'll text you later." Yeonjun gives you a quick pat on the shoulder before running off to the opposite direction. "See you at school! And don't forget to bring the kids!"

You raise a brow. Did he just refer to the plushies as his kids?

He felt dumb, running away from you. The longer he stayed, the more he had trouble leaving, which was new for him. It's been a while since he actually found someone he'd like to hang out with and he was having trouble controlling his excitement. Soon, you'd be able to visit each other's houses, hang out more freely, talk about your days as if it were nothing, and get to know each other more. Honestly speaking, Yeonjun couldn't wait for that day to come but I guess he'll just have to start with tomorrow.

#txt imagines #txt x reader #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun imagine #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun

[prettyblfan]

Coffee Shop Boy

Chapter Three

~

Sorawit flipped over the sign on the door, which read in bold.

The Pink Lily is now open for business.

And once again Sorawit found himself cleaning tables and organising coffee at 4.20am.

~

Whilst restocking the last row of coffee Sorawit couldn't help but ponder over the conversation he had with Nam yesterday, not only did Pong seem like a bad guy his ego was way too big. Which of course was a big red flag, guys like him won't take no for an answer.

Letting out a huge sigh Sorawit laid his head on the counter and pouted, all this thinking and worrying was giving him a headache.

'Should I tell P'Bun about this?'

The pout on Sorawit's face only seemed to grow bigger.

A low cough broke the silence in the coffee shop abruptly pulling Sorawit out of his thoughts.

Straighting up Sorawit lifted his head to greet the customer which he hadn't hear enter. Standing in front of him yet again was the same bruised boy, the face that was almost healed yesterday now had a purplish blue mark across his left cheek.

Casting his eyes downwards Sorawit saw that the hand he treated yesterday as well was now in the same condition or even worse.

Sorawit looked up smiling helplessly at the boy infront of him.

"Same as yesterday I take it" Sorawit began moving before the boy could even rely.

"Yeah" That said taking a seat in the exact same place, the table closest to the door.

"Why did you fight this time?" Sorawit asked adding the whipped cream to the top of his caramel iced coffee.

"Just now why were you pouting" That responsed with another question.

"You're strange" Sorawit fired back also not responding to his question.

As he brought the coffee over and placed it down on the table That locked eyes with him.

"How so." That questioned eyes not once leaving Sorawit's.

"It's like you don't actually exist" Sorawit spoke softly feeling his heartbeat speed up, ripping his eyes away from That's he went to retrieve the first aid kit.

"What if I don't." That teased pulling the same exact smile as yesterday but today's one was a little more playful.

"Then I'd be talking to myself like a weirdo, you do exist right" Sorawit said his voice clearly showing his sudden worry.

As he made his way back over to That he reached out the hand that wasn't carrying the first aid kit to touch his hair.

"I'm real" That replied softly tilting his head up at Sorawit smiling, this time it was a lot softer like if you weren't looking closely you would miss it.

Sorawit paused his hand lingering for a second longer before pulling it back. He was flustered everything That seemed to do caught him off guard.

'P'Bun was right handsome people are dangerous' Sorawit thought pulling out the chair next to That.

He started off by treating the wound on his knuckle that he had treated the other day. He slowly took his time bandaging each finger until he had finished.

Looking up at That Sorawit couldn't help but wonder,

"Who are you?" Without noticing Sorawit had let his thoughts out into the air.

"I told you yesterday, That." That replied laughing lightly at his bluntness.

"Not what I meant and you know it, you're so mysterious like I know nothing about you. Until yesterday I didn't even know that you lived in Viangpa Mork but all of a sudden you should up in my coffee shop. The curiosity is killing me." Sorawit said after all he got himself into this conversation he might as well see it through.

"There's no simple answer to that I can't tell you everything in one day, so I'll answer a question a day" That said calmly this time letting his laugher out.

To Sorawit That was just as cute when he laughed so much so that Sorawit didn't know how to react. So of course he did what solved most of his problems, not dwelling on it and just living in the moment.

Sorawit returned the smile letting his eyes curve up along with his mouth. Excitedly he got up to return the first aid kit almost falling over in the process. However, he managed to pull another laugh out of That which in Sorawit's eyes was totally worth it.

Once he had successfully put away the first aid kit he quickly went to the kitchen in the back to retrieve an ice bag.

By the time he had reached back That had fishished his ice coffee and was waiting quietly, it was moments like this when That looked slightly intimidating.

Smiling at that thought Sorawit gently pressed the pack of ice against his bruised cheek which pulled a soft wince out of That.

"Why haven't I seen you before, where do you live?" Sorawit quickly asked not giving That a chance to complain about the sudden coldness on cheek.

Leaning his hand over the table Sorawit continued to press the ice bag against his cheek as he sat down, smiling brightly at That he continued to wait for his response.

"Until recently I was in Bangkok, as for your other question I'll answer it tomorrow remember only one question per day." That responded staring clearly into Sorawit's eyes.

"What??? That was barely even an answer let alone a whole question" Sorawit sulked his innocent eyes looking straight back at That.

"Then be wiser with your questions." That answered his eyes showing no hint of guilt.

"Wow, what a scam atleast tell me what you were doing in Bangkok" Sorawit continued to sulk.

He was upset, of course he was, why... That he couldn't really answer, he just really wanted to figure out the boy in front of him.

"Studying mostly but I dropped out." That replied moving his hand to his cheek to hold the ice pack himself. The movement in itself caught Sorawit off guard especially when their hands met but he was slightly relieved, his wrist was starting to hurt.

"Why did you drop out, do your parents still live in Bangkok" Sorawit fired out questions knowing the chances of them being answered were slim, he was just dying to know.

"Too many questions, ask them next time" That smiled leaning back in the chair.

"Aww~ what if you don't come. Oh wait," Sorawit whined before continuing,

"Give me your number in case you can't make it I'll text you."

There was no way he'd miss out on finding out more about the very odd and mysterious That.

That nodded completely amused he took the phone handed to him by Sorawit and typed in his number.

"Ah one more question how old are you?" Sorawit asked after all this was a very important question that he had somehow not thought of earlier. Dropping out of highschool can't possibly be that easy P'Bun would never let him.

"19" That said finally having enough of the ice pack and placing it down if the table.

"Ah so then it should be P'That, cause I'm still in my last year of high school" Sorawit said tilting his head.

It was then for the first time Sorawit saw That show an expression he'd never seen before, it was like a mix between embarrassed and surprised.

"What???" Sorawit spoke not quite understanding That's reaction.

"Nothing, you're right it should be." That mumbled.

"Umm then wanna ask me a question." Sorawit requested, as it only seemed fair.

"Why were you pouting earlier?" That asked, Sorawit wondered why he cared so much but to be fair why did Sorawit care so much about him.

"Are you sure, like that's really what you want to know" Sorawit teased lightly, he honestly thought That would ask a more practical question like something about him.

"Umm, don't wanna tell" That teased back leaning in across the table locking eyes with Sorawit.

Once again Sorawit was caught off guard and left rather flustered, although he played it off by looking more confused then anything he still didn't really like the funny feeling it left. It was very foreign to him.

"I don't mind i mean its the question that you asked" Sorawit laughed awkwardly.

Sorawit proceed to recount what had happened yesterday with Nam and Pong, as well as why it worried him so much. Of course all the while making sure to avoid the intense eye contact That was making with him.

"Pong?" That probed.

"Umm, you know Pong" Sorawit asked,

well of course he did Viangpa Mork was a small village but then again he didn't know That until only recently.

Then before Sorawit could get That's response the usual early morning customers began to flood in. He got up quickly to greet them, quickly sending That an apologetic glance he returned back to the Counter.

Once he had managed to get everything under control, in which he may of may not have dropped 3 cups of coffee in the process. He glanced at the table closest to the door,

And just like yesterday the only thing left in sight was money.

~

Arriving home from school Sorawit felt as if his soul had left his body.

Not only had his shift been chaotic it also turned out that he had two surprise tests at school, which he left both of them half blank. The worst part of it all is that when he gets them back tomorrow Nam would tease him to the ends of the earth, after all he did make a promise that he would be her top competitor.

You see Nam isn't the pretty type with a flaw, she has absolutely no short coming what so ever (Nam is that bitch period). This meant she was just as smart as she was pretty. So as soon as she found out Sorawit was aiming to work in the medical field just like she was, she always made sure to show her test results him (which she never failed to get the top results in). This all resulted in him making that very impulsive promise he'd compete with her.

Sorawit sighed as he stepped into the Pink Lily and of course Ploy somehow magically heard this all the way from the counter seeing as she quickly made her way over to the door to greet him. More like question in Sorawit's eyes.

'Maybe I should stop coming home before her shift starts' Sorawit thought briefly before dismissing the idea getting home early was always better he could get more sleep and study.

"What's wrong~" Ploy teased lightly squeezing his cheek.

Pulling Ploy's hand away he plops himself down on one of the chairs.

"Ploy I'm staring to think I should tell P'Bun that you have a lot of free time" Sorawit said smiling sweetly at her.

"There's absolutely no need to do that I'll get straight back to work" Ploy laughed sheepishly before returning back to work, the last thing she wanted was for Bun to nag her.

Finally getting rid of Ploy Sorawit aimed to start on his homework and attempt to go over some of the topics that he didn't really understand.

However, that plan was quickly interrupted.

BUZZ.BUZZ.BUZZ.

Pulling out his phone Sorawit looked at the text on the screen.

TheRealThat: I'm busy tonight so I might not make it tomorrow.

Sorawit laughed at the name he chose. It was fitting but strange.

Sorawit: Why??? 🤔

TheRealThat: Just text me a question tomorrow if I don't show.

Sorawit paused and thought about his response. That always seemed to make things difficult. He pouted before relying.

Sorawit: Fine just be careful, no more injuries.

The conversation basically ended there That never responded or looked at the last message he sent.

So without any other distractions Sorawit continued to work peacefully until Bun came in complaing about that same guy from yesterday, it was at that point he gave in and decided to return to his room.

~

Just as Sorawit was about to call it a night he received a text from That.

TheRealThat: Umm I'm uninjured.

Sorawit: That's good 👍

Sorawit despite wanting to bombard That with question he knew he wouldn't answer, Sorawit could basically feel his eyes begin to close but before dozing off he sent his last message.

Sorawit: Night That sleep well 😴 💓.

Sorawit didn't pay much attention to what he had typed and fell asleep straight away even missing That's response.

TheRealThat: Night.

In his heart as he fell deeper and deeper into sleep Sorawit couldn't help but hope That showed up tomorrow.

~

Have I taken a century to write this chapter, yes. But what you fail to consider is the amount of procrastinating that took place 🤔. So when you think about it this chapter was actually released kind of fast.

On a side note i like really want to do a chapter later on from That's perspective but until then have fun guessing what he's thinking and how he feels.

😘😘😘😘😘😘

Trigger Warning ⚠️ i don't proof read that throughly so feel free to point out mistakes and correct me.

#manner of death #boys love #tat x sorawit #tan x bun #that x sorn #tatsorn #thatsorn

[jawbonejoe]

Hey man, earnest question, might sound a bit loaded. How DO you get to actually feel the screw the world I'm me self-confidence? I try to exercise self-love but mostly it feels forced and fake. Like... how do you reach that. You just keep trying?

So, Anon, since your question two things happened to me. The first happened to the rest of the planet: watching Trump lose the election and thus, the end of a four year nightmare draws nearer. 

The second thing happened to only a handful of people in that same world: a dear friend of mine lost his year long battle with leukemia. I found out via his wife’s posts on fb, and bc I was in the middle of cooking with my family on an otherwise celebratory day there wasn’t much I could do to reach out and console her. 

I already had the bones of your answer figured out by the time both things happened and now I know even more clearly what to tell you. 

You’re on the right path, self care and self love and confidence are absolutely practice and patience and more practice. It will feel fake at first bc you have to be bad at something before you are good at it. But we don’t have a cute saying for nothing ‘fake it till you make it is’ absolutely real. 

But I do think you’re looking at the thing in the wrong light. Self-love and confidence should not come from any ‘screw the world’ doctrine. I can see why you would call it that, especially when asking me because I do have a very ‘screw off’ attitude about things. The difference I want to make clear is that self love and confidence are not about the relationship of the self to the world, but the self to the self. You interact with the world every day as a jumble of information being broadcast through your body by a piece of meat with a little electricity inside it. That information is interpreted into sensation, emotion, memory, thought, and of course it is acted upon by the outside world and then reinterpreted to meet the meat’s needs. Being such a crazy living jumble is insane enough but then you have to go out and deal with other people who are also insane living jumbles of things. 

That’s where confidence comes in, because the world will interpret you as it wants and one of the few ways to inform its decision is to act like you can handle whatever it’s going to do to you. This is a skill that can be taught, and for those who have to self teach it there’s no better way to learn it than by following an example.

Why I need you to know it’s not a you v. world relationship is because we’re all constantly becoming and reinforcing who and what we are. And within that, true confidence comes from being someone you like being and trusting you can keep being that. The work there comes with reflection and practice and I can’t tell you how helpful it is to have people who will push you to be the best version of yourself. 

‘Screw the world’ offers too little to the importance of sharing life with other people. Humans are pack animals, we’re pattern finding machines, and those things together mean that we’re more highly adapted to develop profound bonds with each other than any other animal. 

I learned 80% of my own self love routine from my good friend who had spent much of their early life being denied any agency in who they were and thus developed the most powerful armor of self love I’ve ever seen. For them it came from necessity, their love was the thing they needed to stay alive and flourish. From them I learned that being bold and sure of that self love is one of the best ways to reinforce it and broadcast a similar feeling of the power of pride to others. 

Making the choice to love the self every day is key. So are things like self care, good health habits, finding time for art and hobbies, tricks like evaluating how you use language especially when talking to or about yourself. I make a point to never tell self deprecating jokes or even allude to such things because not only are they not funny but they tell my jumble of neurons the exact opposite of what we’ve worked so hard to know. As a woman I still struggle with using filler language in how I express myself, things like pre-facing my statements with ‘I think’ or ‘Maybe’ or ‘Well if you ask me.’ It seems like a small thing in the grand scheme but really understanding how you use language and how you can better use it to help you feel confident is a good first step and can always be improved as you learn and build your own routine. 

What I can’t understate is how important it is to care. Screw the world is just one way self love and confidence can manifest itself but really it’s bravado because the thing that really matters is wanting to be in the world as someone you like. That feeling of being a peace with who you are, with an eye towards who you want to be, will attract people who like who you are and help you reinforce this idea. I can’t tell you the number of times I felt down and then thought ‘well, I’m best friends with some of the greatest people I’ve ever met, and I know they have great taste so are they wrong for liking me? Hell no!’ Nevermind that having them in my life gives me people I admire that I can look to and say ‘hmm, what would X do in this situation?’ 

Self love is so personal it’s easy to think of it as some unteachable skill that you’re either born with or not. I tell you that couldn’t be more wrong. Don’t misunderstand, you can not make people love themselves when they don’t, and that is sad but at the end of the day there will be people in your life who enjoy making themselves miserable. You should care for other people but never give so much of yourself that you get nothing back. A good friend will give as much joy as they receive from you. 

There is so much to self love that I could go on and on but here’s what I learned from my late friend. As a trans man he made the decision, the painful and scary and hard decision, to be who he was every day of his life. He struggled with it, he fought to understand it, he surrounded himself with people who loved who he was always meant to be even before he could name it himself. He let himself feel the richness of life, he chose to be creative and funny and smart and kind. He was tough when he wanted to be and he showed every quality that a man should have because he chose to be the man he was every single day. 

That’s not to say he never questioned or struggled or even failed in who he was but he always got back up and kept fighting to be the best version of himself. In him I always saw an example of how to be the person you want to be, an example of what every person should be. He laughed the hardest at his own jokes, he loved deliriously, he never denied himself his emotions and their expression, and whenever he wanted something he went out and leapt for it. 

Self love is never you v. the world because that’s how you miss out on all the people who help you realize who you want to be. You live for the world, you are a part of the world knowing itself in every little moment you exist. Those who don’t care about the world will only grow their unhappiness because they’re denying the importance of the love that binds us all together. That love comes in big acts and small, I personally love the earthly pleasures of food and drink and art because they can be enjoyed with just a little practice and skill and can be shared as much as they can be enjoyed solo. 

Every time you choose who you are and who you want to be you perform another act of self love. It may feel like a lot of goofy clown work at first but consider that digging the foundation that stronger and stronger self love will build on. So, long answer to your short question, yes. Keep trying. Look to the world and see its beauty, let yourself feel and learn as much as you can and let other people love you. They will help you be the best you just as much as you help them. And before long the goofy clown work won’t be goofy any more it will just be the truth. You’ll start to look to yourself for the love you need when you need it, and that will enrich the love you continue to feel with others.

#Anonymous #self love #long post #asks #tw: death #grieving

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN BET

What's small stuff? That was a good time for startups. And yet as it gets cheaper to start startups, this sparsely occupied territory is becoming more and more valuable. Choose a project that will take less than a month, and make more than you are at producing it. At least, as long as you fix bugs right away, the net effect, for the average user, is far fewer bugs. Ditto for houses. In the so-called portals was that search was boring, and that's why they do it because they genuinely like to program and aren't satisfied with the languages they already know. He wanted to do everything himself.1

Which illustrates why this change is happening: for new ideas to matter, you need to win. That sort of thing all the time. All it takes is a few beachheads in your economy that pay for performance. In startups, the big companies paid their best people less than disagreeing.2 And the lever not only grows increasingly long, but the curiosity I mean has a different shape from kid curiosity. In a world of Web-based software, you can figure out the rest as you go. It's not a sign of weakness to depend on it happening. Credentials matter a lot then. Hardware is free now, if your software is reasonably efficient.

So the nature of employment in these organizations tended to yield falsely low numbers about economic inequality. And just as the mid-1950s to about 2005. One advantage of being old is that you get funded.3 Surely that sort of thing all the time they spent on it will be for economic inequality to increase. People who do great things look at the source, because you were already worrying about it subconsciously. Nothing is forever, but the result of making college the canonical path for the ambitious was a world in which it would be even cheaper today.4 Most investors have no idea how dangerous they are. Basically, Apple bumped IBM and then Microsoft stole its wallet. My wife and Y Combinator cofounder Jessica is one of their aims.

But I don't think this is true. Boldness pays.5 Being married to her is like standing next to a programmer hearing him say Shit, you're right, it's a bug. He weren't CEO.6 It's probably because you have no Thomas Edisons.7 Ditto for houses. So maybe I'll try not bringing books on some future trip. The low cost of starting a startup means the average good bet is a riskier one, but he'll consider himself lucky to get paid a lot.8 Gmail was one of the hot startups that always win recruiting battles. At first desktop computers didn't look like much of a startup with about 70 programmers how many more he'd hire if he could get all the great programmers he wanted.9

Notes

Nat. By all means crack down on these. To get all that matters financially for investors.

The lowest point occurred when marginal income tax rates, which either desperately tries to munge what I've said into something that flows from some types of publishers would be reluctant to start over from scratch. Revenue will ultimately be hurting yourself, because you have to do more than the founders. For example, the police in the US News list is meaningful is precisely my point.

San Francisco.

Dan wrote a hilarious but also very informative essay about why people dislike Michael Arrington. It seems as dumb to discourage risk-taking. How much better that you decide the price of a social network for pet owners is a particularly alarming example, would not be led by manipulation or wishful thinking into trying to sell, or a funding round. Correction: Earlier versions used a TV for a number of big corporations.

This probably undervalues the company will be very hard to judge for yourself and that he had to both. Obviously this is: we currently filter at the exact same thing.

When you get bigger, your size helps you grow.

Cascading menus would also be argued that kids who went to school. You know in their social lives that didn't already exist. Put rice in rice cooker and forget about it. The only launches I remember the eyes of phone companies gleaming in the US is partly a reaction to drugs.

Within an hour just to go sell the bad groups and they hope will be a sufficient condition. The point where things start to get a patent is conveniently just longer than the actual server in order to make a conscious effort. Brand-name VCs wouldn't recapitalize a company tuned to exploit it.

If it's 90%, you'd ultimately be a predictor. To. As far as such things will do worse in the middle of the grad students they admit each year are long shots are people who need the money invested in the narrow technical sense of things economists usually think about so-called signalling risk is also to the traditional peasant's diet: they had to both.

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