#[[pans and pots whyyyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyyhyhhy

[sentofighta]

[[ i have to just rant a little bit about machina’s lcie incognito time. my memories of the game are foggy since it has been a while since i played it but let me go with what i remember, hopefully haha. sorry in advance if this is jumbled, im just writing things which comes to my mind. when i find proper time to replay and catch up on some readings here and there, i will do a better one sobs.

but yes. machina’s personality started to shift to the worse after attaining the byakko lcie focus. i think it has to do with the crystal (aka cid?) talking to him, urging him to fulfil his focus. i find it now amusing that he could have been the perfect spy to take the vermilion bird’s crystal, or at least snoop around to find where it is for the white tiger to come and sweep in to take it but oh well. i guess no one kind of believed that he could do that with how tight the security would be ofc. also probably not sure if someone who acquired that power would be able to like properly use it, not until he left the academy after a certain time frame (bridge chapter when he finally broke tm.)

Anyway, that question aside, his personality. With the lcie power in effect, i can imagine how confusing and painful it was for him. to fight your own thoughts and someone’s voice in your head, slowly and gradually forget who you are, why you are fighting for and for whom. Machina’s conviction was not strong to let him remember these things after the white tiger’s crystal power took over him. Instead of machina, we have incognito, a lcie with no recollection of why he fights, but simply fights to test his power? to prove he can fight? to acquire new powers? incognito does what the focus (cid) is telling him to do, fight, he fights, go back and be on stand by, he will do that. it is funny that he, now a lcie did not even think to challenge the zeroes when they went into ingram. cid probably knew, if not for sure that even after being a lcie he is not strong enough to take them down because they will not kill him. yes, i can see that the zeroes wont kill him, more like just pity him more and it would be more lethal than killing him. 

ok. so machina slowly forgetting who he is, is just painful for anyone who would talk to him knowing that it is him. Even before leaving the academy he will not be that upbeat and friendly guy, no. it can’t be helped when he no longer hear himself, but someone else’s voice. plus the whole jealousy towards the zeroes for being strong and way ahead of him--so far away he cannot hope to reach them. former classmates from Class TWO would know something is wrong but not sure anyone would really comment on that because one) not many where left in the class to begin with two) machina had been somewhat hard to reach at times so i can assume they’ll be like yep he is back at it again, trying to be stronger and ignoring us. 

his speech pattern will be less colorful. his answers and replies will be short and concise unless he had to explain something which he feels daunting to do. usually, he would have strike conversations with others but now he will steer away from conversations. only butt in when the conversation is about rem. that nervous timid at times hint in his voice (sometimes the excited puppy noises) no more. it feels like you are dragging words out of him if he was not in the mood (can you blame someone questioning what is going on inside his brain?)

It’s just sad that probably his last line to rem was that he is going to protect her, protect orience, everything was twisted in his brain and used against him. shakes my fist. leave my child alone, baldy! why it is sad to think he cannot recognize faces when he became incognito, i mean he didnt realize he is fighting rem until whoops stabbing her. thanks to the intervention of the crystal, i can picture that he suffers from something similar to prosopagnosia, but not that severe (maybe because he mentally knows what he did wrong so he cannot in a way look at anyone’s face and be comfortable. he betrayed everyone. he feels shame. all that is just killing him as well.)

incognito machina is just....white black filter. acually just dull black. nothing is there, just the sense he has to keep doing whatever he is doing and prove that he can fight too. lost. sad. young man. fighting himself and not knowing this fight is a lost one. dont touch me. im krying.

thanks for coming to my ted talk. please. hand over your tissues.  

#⌈⌈ooc. (faty speaks) #⌈⌈building up. (machina) #[[i swear i was going somewhere then...brain ded #[[bt uuughh you know right???? hes just total different and it hurts boohoo #[[my son why #[[when you fear yourself too sobs #[[whhhyyrrrhhyyy #[[listen .i will rework this once i get time #[[but have my trash ted talk #[[in short he got to be 90 years old in a 17 years old filled with just disappear and anger and sadness and fear #[[and no one noticed. i am just. smad. no one took a moment to say hey dude you need to talk #[[waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #[[pans and pots whyyyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyhyyhyhhy #[[why #[[just why #[[answer me why #[[why you no herp him #[[i mean in your defense he was getting the jerk vibes i would have slapped him too but at least i would slap him #[[not see him crumble before my eyes smh #[[anyway. uh. i think i can ...do stuff now. #[[welp or just go watch animu and cry silently about my child