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#{Beg The King} Asks
nauti-ca · 9 months
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how im feeling abt 34 + some faroe au doodles
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noriee404 · 6 months
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they... they... they...
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cyanide-sippy-cup · 2 months
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One thing I think many gloss over when it comes to Godzilla is the motivation and personality of each iteration, and how their design reflects that.
Shin is a being of pure agony, a living cancer that kills and destroys as much as it can out of pure rage and hatred at its own existence and those who made it be so. Over the film, it goes from what looks like a dead shark to a monster with razors for teeth and eyes of pure suffering and hate.
Minus One is basically hate personified, a monster that somehow manages to hold a deep personal rage against each and every individual member of humanity. It's hatred runs so deep that it commits actions just to terrify and kill. And it's design forces a terrifying glare, one so viscous you'd believe it really hates you personally.
Monsterverse is more of a disgruntled hero. He kinda gives the vibe of a dude who stands in the corner at a party acting like he doesn't want to be there. He has specific motivations in taking down particular kaiju, motivations that are often confused for attacks. He does what he needs to do and retreats back to the ocean when he's done. And he looks consistently miffed. A face that does lean into a menacing rage when necessary.
Classic goji is, like most iterations, an already existing being from the sea, enraged at the destruction of its home and mutation of itself. It has come to simply destroy, destroy all that has allowed this to occur. It causes hurt and suffering, agony and destruction all in its shared pain and rage. Its design is literally shaped like a mushroom cloud since, yknow, nuke mutation.
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Man. How did I forget that an entire subplot of Dazai's main story was just. Trying to trap him into having a single conversation with MC like a normal person I'm so akhdjgfkljshgskjd
I just love watching her, Arthur, and Isaac deadass plot with glee to get one over on Dazai it's killing me, this is some Hamlet level shit (no Charles do not stand behind the curtain to kill Dazai coming in the window!!! yamero!!!!!)
Also because I felt personally attacked (/j) when Isaac said this:
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I love you Isaac but pls have mercy on creatives we only have one brain cell and we're trying s o hard oTL
Although, and I'll leave it under the cut since I'm back on my Comte-posting, but the way Comte talks about Dazai fascinates me. Also just as fair warning, I do broach a lot of the topics that come up in Dazai rt so trigger warnings for self-harm, suicide, CPTSD and PTSD, trauma, etc. I don't go too too in-depth, but they are there.
Comte: "Dazai is quite skilled at concealing what he's really feeling, even from himself, perhaps."
The way he instantly remarks on how Dazai is not only working to conceal what he feels from others, but also from himself. Tbh I think that's enormously perceptive, because at first glance most people tend to think Dazai is lazy, troublesome, flippant, or erratic (and sometimes, a combination of all of these).
I love that he sees to the core of who Dazai is and what he's feeling; fear. Dazai is afraid of hurting someone again, but I also think on some level he's made it an ontological problem; he's afraid of himself. He thinks his very existence is a negative entity, something that exists only to hurt and/or estrange other people, something wrong/different. I'd argue that's why he's so adamant about mood-making and keeping to himself. If you never express how you truly feel or live true to yourself, on some level you can't entirely reach others. Because fundamentally, being close to other people does require some level of lowered defenses and sharing. Ergo, never dwell too long or give too much of yourself away, never make a mark on anyone--good or bad.
As a side note, Theo calls him "a half-strewn dandelion puff" and I agree that's rather blunt, but on some level Theo operates on a level of utility. His entire operating precept is that life and work must serve a discrete purpose. And Dazai, in choosing to opt out of living with meaning/intent out of fear, makes this description entirely consistent with Theo's perspective of the world. Though his phrasing is harsh and perhaps one-dimensional, I do find it interesting that he comes to a similar conclusion as Comte as to what Dazai is doing.
Comte talks about it with such clarity and calm, he really does feel so parental in this moment. He's not necessarily minimizing the reality of how Dazai is experiencing the world, but he also clearly doesn't agree with Dazai's self-perception. Perhaps most striking to me is how Comte seems to understand that the only threat Dazai poses is to himself...Sometimes it feels like, in the case of conditions like mental illness/depression/etc. people are so eager to assume ill will of a person. This is only exponentially compounded if they prove to have striking intelligence and strategic capacity, the same way Dazai does. I guess I can't help but appreciate that Comte knows the difference between strong and scared, and even how the lines between the two can and often do blur (perhaps best exemplified in his relationships with Jeanne and Dazai).
(Side note: I forgot which event it was but, one time when Dazai was homesick for cherry blossom watching, Comte had the entire house filled with flowers to cheer him up [insert ugly sobbing]).
For someone so enigmatic, evasive, and distant, Comte still notices instantly that Dazai is much, much happier with MC. I suppose it makes me wonder if Comte knew all along that Dazai's real wish was to be accepted and loved as he was, but kept quiet out of respect for his privacy. I would offer too that sometimes people need to realize these things on their own for the information to have value.
But what really gets my ass is what Comte says right after:
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This is my bread and butter (so is he but that's not the point of this particular TED talk). In the last few years I've done a lot of exploratory work on how trauma is mapped both internally but also visibly on the body. What I think is engaging here is that, while it could be read on a surface level as "body language gives people's true intentions away" I don't think that's quite what he's getting at. Or perhaps better phrased, it's an oversimplification. I don't think it's that body language can't communicate real and important information about people's lives. Rather, that people associate rigid and absolutist interpretations to singular mannerisms, which does a disservice to both parties. Nobody can know a person at a glance; to say that you do reduces the lived reality of the opposite party.
Comte gives simple examples and couches his words for the context of the moment, but I think that first line is incredibly telling. "But the body is remarkably truthful." It makes me think of how, in moments where Comte is overcome with anxiety as a result of traumatic recurrence, he has acute panic attacks (i.e. shortened breath, racing heart, trembling). How Leonardo's lethargy (i.e. napping on the floor everywhere like the hobo he is) belies the reality of his very real exhaustion, the emotional turmoil that comes with a fraught immortal life.
Dazai's endless struggle with dissociation and self-harm, the way he stood in the rain unmoving at the thought of MC returning home to the modern era. Whether to numb himself from the pain of that grief/loneliness, or perhaps more likely the self-immolation of subjecting himself to the re-enactment of the most harrowing moment of his life. To relive that anguish as a reminder; to abstain from making the same mistake ever again. Jeanne's endless bodily tension, struggles with basic self-care (appears to be interoception-based; reduced signalling of the need to eat/rest/etc.), and self-isolation to cope in a world where only the strong survive. Never safe, always alone, always defensive.
I think, for many people in general but especially people who have been through intense PTSD/CPTSD/etc., it can be hard to express these feelings directly. Whether they are forcibly silenced, ridiculed into self-derision/self-concealment, or are overwhelmed by emotions that are difficult to process--each manifests itself in unconventional ways. It means a lot to me when those phenomena are portrayed so sensitively in written works/media, that they're explored with real intention and narrative subtlety to communicate how hard it is for people who are wounded or simply different (or both, as often is the case).
Addendum:
Even more than that, and this is an observation at the end of Dazai's route, is Comte's open belief that life is something to be cherished. Of course, like any other person he has behaviors he won't abide and people he doesn't feel partial to, but by and large he doesn't take life lightly. Perhaps that's why he doesn't expect Dazai to resort to such measures again, in conjunction with the circumstances of his transition. From an outsider perspective, I could see how Comte might assume Dazai no longer wishes for that if he seemed to regret his initial course of action by seeking resurrection. There is also the implication that Dazai is always at war with himself, and therefore might give contradictory impressions; one moment he wants to live, the next he doesn't. This is precisely what led him to ask Charles for help to subdue his own 'cowardice.' (His terms, not mine. [bonks him]) There is a sizeable subset of s-word survivors who, after recovery, feel that their problems were actually solvable despite their despair in the moment.
Of course, that doesn't apply to everyone, but I think there's something to be said of Comte feeling such real affection for the mansion boys that he is stricken to find out what Dazai attempted. And perhaps unsurprisingly, very adamant to keep him from ever pursuing such a course of action again. He's incredibly vulnerable about his horror that he might have inflicted something on Dazai that he never wanted in bringing him back, though Dazai comfortably refutes any lack of agency in the situation.
I guess I feel very compelled by the duality inherent in Comte's glass heart, precisely because of how realistic it feels. His greatest strength is his sensitivity, but it's also his greatest weakness in tandem. His genuine care for Dazai--the unwavering belief that his life is valuable and worthy--ends up being the reason he doesn't anticipate Dazai's rather deeply entrenched self-loathing. And to be honest, I'm a bit inclined to agree; looking back on a third reading Dazai feels way too hard on himself. It feels like the young girl's death was more a catalyst for what Dazai was already feeling, than anything. Dazai wanted so badly to have a reason to despise himself (as he already disliked how different and out of place he naturally felt) and with this, his self-reproach could have a viable, rational explanation. A locus outside of his body by which to rationalize his self-hatred. Accident or not becomes irrelevant; he was involved, and thus he is guilty.
He reminds me a lot of that post that was circulating once about how cultish behavior inculcates intelligent people with more devastating pull than one might expect, because intelligent people can more easily and more insistently find ways to desperately rationalize their situation to function in that whirlpool of abuse. Dazai feels like he's in this same such Catch-22, so busy believing he deserves to be scorned (because of how well he hides his perceived abnormalities) that he takes steps to ensure and reinforce it. He wants and needs to see his reality make sense, and if it won't answer his designs he will find a way to make it so.
It fascinates me because Dazai is an incredibly complex example of someone who desires control, but instead of inflicting it with external rapacity, he targets his own internal state. I once heard a Buddhist explain: yes, it is a sign of disturbance to engage with others aggressively and without grace. However, it is also a sign of disturbance when the mind seeks to harm one's own body. Although Dazai's disturbance is not as apparent, it is there. And that's part of what makes him so excruciatingly compelling to me, in a lot of ways he is the manifestation of the Sisyphean suffering of being ill in a quiet way. In enduring and smiling and laughing because you don't want to burden others--or know you're not allowed to--all while you slowly bleed from the inside out.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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Drawing Request:
Merlin & Arthur hugs! Or just any other character hugging Merlin, he needs it
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:-P
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reireichu · 7 days
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“your king demands an answer”
yeah well your kid demands proper healthcare and rehabilitation and parenting and your wife needs therapy, but i guess we can just ignore that too along with the fucking eyeball rolling around in a tray
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead. 
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this. 
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs.  Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair. 
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?" 
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs. 
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles. 
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him. 
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That. 
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to. 
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly. 
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor. 
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step. 
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's. 
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before. 
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray. 
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further. 
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs,  "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of! 
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons. 
#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod#not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic#its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts#if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5#anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage#but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future#but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv#mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all#hmm now how does one go about tagging fic#vettonso#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#martian#sebmark#also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed#hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au
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youraverage-weirdo · 3 months
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HEY Y'ALL. MY COMIC GONNA BE POSTED AFTER 5 ASKS!
ONLY FOUR TO GO,
ALSO, I FOUND THIS ON PINTREST AND WHOEVER MADE THIS NEEDS A FREAKING AWARD 🗣️🔥🔥
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andy-clutterbuck · 1 year
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(◕‿◕✿)
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swampy-milk · 6 months
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Signalis Spoilers///
I think its so telling that the scariest thing in Signalis (to me at least) wasn't the cosmic horror, but the fucking dread of living in an uncaring system
Meat monsters. A god that will devour all life. Entropy. A corruptive force that will devour and eat away at us physically and emotionally.
And the part that pulled me the most was knowing that Ariane and Elster got sent out on a mission they were almost certain to fail, because a dying empire demands some form of glory and subjugation.
You can kill the corrupted replikas. You can avoid them and still finish your objective. But in the end, you and one person you live are still going to die a pointless, painful death. She's going to suffer, and you're going to have to take her last breath for her, and you're going to have to die knowing that there was nothing to be done.
This whole thing was just a system demanding blood.
The horror was just there to drink it.
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silliestofbilliest · 29 days
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Save me 2023 production of Camelot,,, save me
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fluffypotatey · 2 months
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Love how tired you made dbk. Shadowpeach reconnecting with their ex brother but he refuses to meet both simultaneously
he is not inducing himself to their batshittery again. been there done that. died and come back, he's good thank you :)
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fromtheseventhhell · 8 months
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I think it's ironic that D&D kind of forgot, that it were the northern lords who proclaimed Robb/Jon as KITN. And after Jon bend the knee, it were only them who could proclaim Sansa as QITN, but do we ever have a scene like that? Just a scene when Sansa declares the North independent kingdom by herself and another one, were she is being crowned. So when did the northern lords chose her as QITN? Did they knew about Sansa's intentions at all? How come she isn't called a tyrant, when Dany is?
I wouldn't even say they forgot, I just think they didn't care about telling a cohesive story. They wanted to give Sansa a crown in the end as a reward and didn't care how it fit into the story. Not only did the Northerners not choose her as their Queen, they previously had the chance to crown her and they chose Jon instead. She never even asked how they felt about being independent and, considering the rightful heir to Winterfell was now the King of the 7K, they likely would've been okay with being united. Sansa couldn't even secure enough food to get them through Winter but I'm sure being independent is going to work out sooooo well for them. Funny that she wanted them to be independent but she had to rely on Bran's power as King to make that happen...all Hail Sansa, the Queen Who Was Never Chosen!!!
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lordkingsmith · 5 days
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I see we have entered into a new phase of aesthetics. Which comes with the addition of my pointing at the background boys thinking "COTTAGE CORE!!!!" while lying on the floor pointing at the girlies in your icon whispering "babies...precious babies..."
Which really all just amounts to:
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the background is cottagecore handsome boys that are both unbelievably pro-murder and then my icon are sweeties who are trying to be far tougher than they are but should still be handled carefully. in short, I am ushering in my 'I am kind, I am good, but I am not nice and don't mix those up :)'
thank you ^-^
half the reason I wanna make a movie; so I can promptly crossover everyone and make them queer af. and then marah and kapri are just a mood. gotta combine the moods somehow lolololol
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marisatomay · 2 years
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and who among us
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wreckham · 35 minutes
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How *exactly* did Mufasa die? Was he trampled to death? Was the fall itself lethal, the impact with the ground? Was his body stabbed by antelope horns as he fell on them?
there was a quick pressure, then a flash of light, then nothing. one of his eyes had been crushed in its socket, the "pop" drowned out by the deafening sound of the thundering herd.
the raw, cutting, burning rupturing of his liver and kidneys was unignorably all-encompassing to the point of being oxymoronically distant, for it was so unreal in its magnitude; he had been gored, and the site of the wound had been ripped open further, each stabbing hoof forcibly peeling back more and more of his hide from the mouth of the gash.
he tried over and over to move his legs, any of his legs, but each was broken so profoundly, shattered and splintered and stabbed in between so many muscles, that they didn't even twitch. he tried to move them despite knowing full well that he couldn't feel them anymore.
he could barely even feel the blood clinging to his fur, or on his whiskers and his skin.
it was surreal to him in the same way as seeing a mushroom cloud in the distance would be to you or i, knowing the pyroclastic flow was seconds away but being unable to do anything but watch in awe. he knew he was dying. how could he not?
time slowed as the shock began setting in. a unique rush of chemicals began filling his brain, though being an animal he couldn't understand what was happening. to him, time was not dilated. to him, he was not hallucinating. to him, he was living.
he was caressing the tiny body of his 2 day old son as his beloved wife cooed from over his shoulder. he was being granted position of king of the pridelands by his dearest friend, who whooped and cheered for this as any baboon would. he was sitting under the stars with his kid brother, taking turns pointing out constellations, images formed by the great kings of the past so as to tell mortal leonines of their futures.
taka's small red foot raised and pointed at two particularly bright, white stars.
"just like us, huh?" he'd said.
two days prior, back in the present and away from these looping memories, mufasa had been sitting under the stars with simba, pointing out the same constellations, elaborating on the same stories. simba had been enraptured with them, as all cubs are at such a tender age. the lad had tugged on mufasa's ear, his own little gold paw jutting out towards two more stars, one very large and one very small.
"look, look!" his boy had said. "just like us, huh?"
the pain was soon over, soon too foreign and physical and alive for him to understand. it simply could not register any longer. everything seemed so distant now, and so obvious besides. had he always been warned? lord, had he always known something like this would happen? had this been planned from the beginning, since their adolescent days of bonding and fighting and supporting and hating? and had it been his imagination, or had the larger of the two stars blinked out of existence that other night?
mufasa's throat spasmed and closed in a painful seize, forcing a thick, wet wad of something warm and foul smelling from his esophagus. out wheezed the death rattle, his collapsed lungs bidding goodbye to their utility.
it mattered not, for by now he could not see or hear. by now the left side of his face had been all but caved in, and by now he understood the greatest fear, the greatest of agonies. and it was not because his heart had stopped beating. it was much simpler then that.
his son had no one to protect him now.
and then mufasa died.
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