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So you’re the main character of an ARG? As of right now you’re possibly dealing with some form of the tall-ass fucker in the woods, some type of time fuckery is happening, one of your friends is running around the woods at night with a mask, and you have some type of supernatural stalker that’s tormenting you? Well you’ve come to exactly the right place! Today I will give you the ultimate guide on how to avoid danger and survive as a protagonist in a Slenderverse ARG

Step One: Don’t

Now when I say don’t I mean don’t! Don’t look at those tapes, don’t look into the mysterious death of that loved one, and certainly don’t go into the woods! This is the number one step to avoiding all of the bullshit and living a long life.

Step Two: Move

Now, following step one, drop everything and avoid the woods as much as possible, and by that I mean just move! Stupid skinny bitch can’t touch you if you move to a place without a forest!

Step Three: So you skipped step 1 and 2?

So you decided to ignore step 1 and 2? Well now we get into the real shit! You being stalked by long limbs Jim and anime glasses fucker? Your friends possessed or wearing weird masks? Then keep reading!

Step Four: Fuck Alex

You have a good friend named Alex, leave, just leave! Having a friend named Alex is the number one sign something bad is gonna happen to you, Alex is a lame name anyway! If you are said friend named Alex then I don’t know what to tell you but you might be fucked my dude, changing your name is always an option but even then hoping that the curse of the name Alex will go away might only be the best bet!

Step Five: Avoid obsessive drawing!

Have you suddenly found yourself overcome with the urge to fill up note books with nonsensical art and ramblings that only you can seem to only slightly understand? Then the best thing to do is to avoid drawing like it’s the plague! Drawing is for nerds anyway plus you’ll save money on paper and Sharpies!

Step Six: Put down that camera

Now along with the urge to draw you may be feeling the urge to record everything you do, hell you might even want to upload it to YouTube under a weird name. So just don’t touch cameras, probably best to avoid YouTube for a while as well!

Step Seven?: No masks

Don’t touch that mask! Just don’t touch it! Also avoid water while your at it.


Now you’ve

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