#żmija gada

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not to start a heavy subject but. sometimes I find myself in the company of people who had a very good childhood and a very functional and well-off family, and as we discuss these things they look at me with shock - and as if I am the shocking minority. being totally and fully oblivious that it's them who are a minority - and that whatever they think the average experience of a child is, in poland and otherwise, is simply untrue. the average child has it much, much worse than they could even imagine

#żmija gada #both in terms of money of treatment of punishment of rules of religious upbringing of anything. it's much worse than they think

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the company that laid us all off last year is now forced to bring back our positions and hire new people - for much more money - because the solutions we warned them against didn't work. can't wait for the cunts to reach out to me to rehire me and I will be able to very corporately and politely refuse - by agreeing, just for 250% of my previous pay

#żmija gada #we told you it wouldn't work :-) ceo left cfo left and now you're left with the investment group that fired us telling you things are fucke #and you need to bring the positions back to fix the mess you found yourself in #gods I wish I could comment 'XDDDD' under their linkedin post

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I should run for office just to establish a new law where everyone working in hospitality especially in the biggest tourist places gets to kill one guest a year. and a manager, quarterly

#żmija gada #hearing the stories. oh my gods.

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rose flavoured coffee and a lemon flavoured wafer to go along with it. I pretend I am not freezing to death

#żmija gada

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sobbing into my plate after overhearing a conversation between a mom and her tiny daughter in this shopping centre food court

#żmija gada #I will elaborate once I get home but gods. loving conscious and tender parenthood just makes me #break down

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far from prudish but just got blazed porn of someone's pussy spread out so hard and up close like it's a map of the polish-lithuanian commonwealth and I'm king and grand duke sigismund II augustus inspecting his lands to plot defense against the swedes

#żmija gada

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we've been living in this apartment for two months now, and while we've observed most of our new neighbours (my slavic Windowsill Watcher Grandmother gene already activated), I don't think they had the chance to see us often enough to recognise us yet.

I do know, however, from my observations, that the tiny funny dog upstairs is called Gucio. I've passed him once or twice during his walk and heard his owners use the name - and, while both the dog and his owners are oblivious to our existence, Gucio became an apt topic of discussion in our house. you know, we hear barking, ha, that's Gucio, he must be home alone again! or there's a stick left by the building door, that must have been brought by Gucio and he was forced to abandon it before entering! a household name, really.

yesterday as I was leaving to go to the store, walking down the narrow staircase, there he is! tiny funny looking dog, slightly startled by me suddenly appearing on the floor he just reached on his tiny funny looking legs.

"good morning Gucio!" I say joyfully, the most natural thing in the world.

well. remember that Gucio doesn't really know me. so he looks at me in the most flabbergasted way a dog can look at a person. he is positively aghast. agog! not sure how aware dogs are of their own names but he seemed genuinely puzzled at the apparent stretch of social convention.

and as I try to contain my laughter, I see his owner standing on the stairs below. the woman is sort of awkwardly frozen, speechless, and she looks at me.

"you... know each other?" she asks.

is that not the funniest way to phrase it. is this not the funniest question she could have asked. ma'am do you know my dog? you went to school together perhaps? you've met? do tell, are you old friends? maybe you worked together? you know each other, my dog and you? this dog? you know him? he knows you? he never mentioned you I'm afraid

#żmija gada #Gucio is so funny he looks like yoda #steep stairs to the old seven

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trains are superior because they go through beautiful places and sometimes you get to see the mysteries

#żmija gada #I love trains so much

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every time I am too sad to think straight or too numb or when life gets a bit too heavy I remember the existence of waloyo yamoni. sung in lango, created and conducted by christopher tin, and performed by the royal philharmonic orchestra featuring the angel city chorale, prima vocal ensemble, and lucis choirs. the joy and beauty of that piece never, never fails to move me

#żmija gada #felt myself get a bit too low today and played it... watched the expressions of the conductor and the choirs and the soloists and it just #IMMEDIATELY lifted my spirits. especially the final 4 minutes.

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also today I told my neighbour I'd carry her bags upstairs because somehow the oldest ladies buy the heaviest shit, and so she went up first, and I of course being the stubborn goddamn mule had to commit to One Trip Only mentality, and so it took me some more time to get to her floor, but I did manage and won my unwounded pride in return, and so I happily huffed and puffed my way to her door and they got opened. by a fucking turtle. just a straight up trutle opened those doors

#żmija gada #I assume she left them ajar and the turtel just decided he had to go greet me #but I didn't even know she had one #so I had a moment of panic that I left my brain without oxygen for too long

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joyous day! longer than yesterday! sending kisses to the brave golden sun across the cold december skies!

#żmija gada #LONGER THAN YESTERDAY #and guess what happens TOMORROW

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the shorthand developed between longtime couples or friends can be embarrassing, yes, but it can also be confusing for others in the best of ways.

exposition: my partner is rather squeamish, especially when it comes to various bodily things - and if you've known me for a while, you know that I love all things body and body related. we share one desk, with all our monitors aligned, and we often peek at what the other one is doing - same with phones, especially when we're having some downtime in bed. now, to relax, I really like watching various body-related videos - for example anatomy lessons with cadavers, or dental videos, especially tooth extractions - but that's something that would obviously absolutely upset my beloved. so the first time I was watching something like that and they peeked, I had to quickly cover my phone, and then explain that I was watching a dentist extracting a tooth.

now, this has to be a quick reaction - and I know that too many details about what it is exactly that I'm watching can be upsetting or disgusting on their own - so I've resorted to just saying DENTIST. when my love looks over and has the chance to potentially see something yuck. just dentist. it works!

fast forward to us picking up a friend from a music festival over summer - not a big concert but more a set of smaller scenes with a very specific vibe. definitely a vibe that encourages people to partake in various substances. while waiting for said friend, my partner told me they needed to pee, and so we went to the long line of porta-potties - and they've asked me to go in first to check the state of the facilities for them. and as I got in I saw that, well, it was bad. big bad. as bad as you can imagine a porta-potty to be.

and so to be quick, as my partner was about to enter after me and see all the bad everywhere, I just yelled DENTIST! DENTIST!

let me tell you. the line of people high out of their mind waiting to pee. hearing me yell DENTIST repeatedly from the belly of the portable toilet, to the clear horror of my partner. the look on their faces. the silence that fell. I can only wish I did not ruin anyone's trip with my sudden invocation of the dental nightmare but I'm not too hopeful on that you know

#żmija gada

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so far the most baffling response to the graveyard fruit question are people apparently horrified or surprised that anyone would even consider picking any fruit from any tree anywhere that was just out there, not owned by them or not purchased from a store.

breaks my brain. you see a tree or a bush with fruit outside - not even on someone's property, just outside - and you don't take from it? you don't eat the fruit? why? what?

#żmija gada

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the names poll makes me think, all the sydneys and dallases and chelseas and londons and lourdes and parises and brooklyns. what if we did that as poles. hi this is my son knurów and his brother sandomierz. if we had a daughter I’d love to name her świdnica <3 you could even go gender neutral with naming your little baby giżycko or gniezno 

#żmija gada #inb4 parys

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it might be painful to hear but I genuinely don't care whether it's tangerines or mandarines or clementines or anything else. it is the orange's weird sweet younger sibling and as long as it's good it can have whatever name it wants

#żmija gada

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I have such a deep love for scars I wish every person I care about could intentionally and lovingly give me one so I can have a shard of them with me forever

#żmija gada #I used to think this way about tattoos but I realised it was just a more normalised extension of the scar idea #and now I have abandoned the pretence and back to scars it is #this might sound edgy but it really isn't. I don't even mean anything extreme #scarification is so interesting