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#—out of spite; gwen
tetsvhoe · 7 months ago
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THEY GET TEASED WITH SOMEONE ELSE [2]
kuroo's part
character/s: suna rintaro x gn reader
genre/s: angst if u squint to fluff
warning/s: none
gwen's notes 🤍: i keep making these things longer than i intend but oh well
MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
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being the manager of inarizaki boys’ vbc has been all but boring. you had originally intended to manage the girls’ team for much needed extra credit and being pulled out of school hours for club duties, but the posts were full and the boys’ team were apparently short staffed. as if you couldn’t imagine why. they might as well put in “baby sitting” in the job description.
inarizaki was a force to be reckoned with–the force mainly from the twins chaos and the mischievous instigator, suna. kita did an outstanding job at managing them but he could only do so much between his student and captain and personal duties, so when you arrived they were left to your care.
as if that was a good idea.
in between atsumu being swarmed by fangirls at every single chance they get, getting caught in the crossfire of balls being thrown across the court by the twins, breaking up their stupid cat fights and getting smacked in the process, falling victim to suna’s compilation of embarrassing photos, staying behind late at the gym to clean up the extra mess they’ve made, you were always caught in the middle of it all.
you hadn’t minded the weird turn of events though as you gained three unlikely best friends, well two and a half because suna was honestly on thin ice.
suna and his cool and composed demeanor yet chaotic energy. his tendency to not give a fuck if it does not concern him directly, but you often found him caring about you and the scolding you got because of their mess. suna and his most prized playlists which he sent you at 3 in the morning when you were so, so tired but ultimately couldn’t fall asleep. suna and his pretty emerald eyes which lingered on you too long for you could handle. suna and his goddamn memes without context. suna and–
a light shove finally broke your trance. you tuned out the world as you were having lunch with the boys and didn’t even notice as thoughts of him plagued your mind when he was right there in front of you. you glanced up to see him eyeing you with an eyebrow raised, but he continued to eat wordlessly.
“can i have this,” you grinned, snatching a box of meiji strawberry chocolate, a fat stack sat in the middle of the table that wasn’t there before you got so lost in your thoughts. “where’d this come from? these are my favorite.” you turned to atsumu, popping a few pieces into your mouth.
“finish your food first, idiot,” suna called out, reaching over to snatch the box in your hands, earning him a glare from you.
“did you miss an entire season?” it was osamu’s turn to scold you. “were you that out of it that you didn’t notice a couple girls handing those over?”
“guess so,” you shrugged, turning to the blonde twin who was apparently busy gulfing down the rest of his lunch, you grimaced. “who is it this time, tsumu?”
he halted, bringing his eyes up slowly. “they’re not for me,” he mumbled, mouth stuffed. he proceeded to tilt his head in suna’s direction.
"our sunarin is a big boy now," osamu teased, smacking suna's back. you winced but suna smacked osamu right back, this time you laughed.
out of curiosity, you sneaked a peak at suna's reaction to the twins' teasing and to the gesture in general (since you were too busy daydreaming about him that you never noticed it happen).
“shut up, i don’t have time for any of that anyway,” he deadpanned. “relationships are nothing but a chore. all the clinginess and the constant demands,” he shuddered at the thought.
somehow, your heart sunk. selfishly so, it wasn’t your sympathy for the girl who tried to make a move on suna, but for yourself. you wondered if he felt the same way towards your “clinginess and constant demands”—the way you cared and looked after not only him, but the twins too and the rest of the boys. “eat slowly before you choke, dumbasses.”, “rin, change your shirt already you’re all sweaty and you’re gonna catch a cold.”, “you barely drank any water, finish the whole thing!”, “stop fucking fighting before i tell kita! rin- help me you idiot!”, “tsumu learn how to rest before i smash your kneecaps and put you to rest myself. and you need to take practice a bit more seriously.”, “you still need good grades if you wanna keep playing, i’ll help you study. that’s non negotiable.”
the sun had begin to set as you walked out of the gym with the twins, stretching your arms tiredly.
“where’s rin?” you asked, glancing around.
atsumu grinned, arms behind his head. “he went to talk to the strawberry chocolate girl.”
“he probably likes her too, or at least finds her attractive,” osamu commented as he paced backwards so he could face you and his twin.
“right! he was so defensive at lunch,” atsumu cackled. “he was just shy,” he cooed in a high-pitched voice, batting his eyelashes and clasping his hands together to make a show of a lovestruck girl. you rolled your eyes as osamu joined him, pretending to fawn and over their other friend.
“oh, there they are,” osamu announced, coming to a sudden halt causing you to bump into him. your eyes trailed where he pointed. suna’s back was turned to you, but you could make out of the girl’s pretty features and blushing expression. despite how suna made it seem like he was strongly against the idea of dating, their conversation seemed to show otherwise. the girl wasn’t in tears nor did she have a pained expression, not even apathy in her features. she was… flattered, smiling—giggling even. and suna wasn’t closed off. he didn’t shy away and didn’t seem like that was the last place he would have wanted to be.
atsumu hauled you away, talking about giving them a bit of privacy which was rich coming from him. the image had already ingrained in your mind and it wasn’t until you were alone in your room did you finally feel something. you felt as if your heart was doing multiple somersaults into the pit of your stomach. knowing suna, he was probably in denial and being defensive, mostly because the same two people who suggested that in the first place.
days have passed and you were still unable to shake suna’s words off. you often found yourself holding back from scolding and nagging him like you used to, like you still do with the twins, afraid that he found you overbearing and annoying which was the last thing you wanted. as cool and laidback suna was, he was still incredibly intimidating. knowing he would never reciprocate your feelings was one thing, but you didn’t want him to be repulsed by you even if you were only doing things out of care.
suna found himself causing you more trouble than usual, doing things he knew you hated so you could scold him, smack his arm, and chase him around the empty gym as he provoked you, but you never did. today he was particularly determined to get a reaction out of you.
it was early in the morning, the groupchat the four of you shared was blaring with notifications already but suna decided to put his phone on silent, waiting for you to spam him messages and missed calls in case he had slept in again. as much as you wanted to do just that, you kept to the gc.
rin’s not replying or reading the gc.
atsumu started flooding his phone instead. he decided to doze off in class next to you. surely, you would smack him awake, right? wrong, he woke up with scribbles and doodles on his hands and his hair tied up with hellokitty clips. he only glared at the twins, but said nothing. at lunch, he only ate about three chuppet ice pops—where exactly he got them from you weren’t sure. but you wouldn’t let him eat ice pops for lunch right? he was almost excited to see you narrowing your eyes at him, but you only muttered “gross” under your breath, to his disappointment.
the whistle rang through the gym, signaling a break. you handed each of the boys their water bottle and made your way to where your three friends were sat. atsumu lifted his shirt. you reached for his towel and wiped the sweat off his back. suna’s eyes widened in the slightest and looked away, lips pursed in annoyance. he couldn’t keep his stare away for too long though, not when you were wrestling him to the ground, laughing and generally messing around.
without thinking, suna pushed himself off the floor, wraped an arm around your waist and basically plucked you off of atsumu. the four of you stared at each other in surprise. it was unbearably quiet and awkward.
“…rin? why are you acting weird?”
he only then freed you from his grasp. “you’re being weird.”
the twins exchanged looks with one another. thankfully practice resumed before it got anymore awkward, if that was even possible.
he tossed the nth box of strawberry chocolates to you which you barely managed to catch as you walked side by side out of the gym. he never seemed to run out of them. you eyed him confused, but he kept his eyes straight ahed with no particular emotion on his pretty face. you remembered the incident early and felt heat creep up your cheeks.
“hey! i want one too,” atsumu yelled after both of you, waving as he ran to catch up.
neither you or the twins mentioned anything about what you saw the other day, and any conversation about the strawberry chocolate girl, as atsumu called her, was quickly shut down by suna.
“rin what would your little girlfriend feel if she knew you were giving her gifts away,” osamu taunted as he seemed to appear out of thin air. unconsciously, your heart clenched out of guilt.
“the hell are you talking about, i don’t have a girlfriend,” suna grumbled before turning to you. “and i buy those. for you.” he placed his hand on your head gently until you saw hints of red on his cheeks. he mustered up a blank expression as he pulled his hand away. you stared up at him dumbfounded. osamu fell silent as he grasped the situation. his brother didn’t get the memo though.
“we weren’t gonna say anything but we definitely saw you being all lovey dovey with the strawberry ch—mfph!” osamu had him in a headlock, his hand over his mouth as he hauled him away muttering a bunch of excuses.
suna raised an eyebrow at you as you kept your eyes glued to the twins, your heart already hammering in your chest. you refused to glance at him though you could feel him staring at you. “so that’s why you’ve been avoiding me,” he mused.
“that doesn’t explain why you’ve been acting weird,” you replied, finally turning to face him with a scowl.
he laughed it off. “i don’t know what exactly you saw but i turned that girl down that day.”
“she seemed a little too happy for someone who just got rejected,” you snarked, looking down at where your hands fidgeted with the box of candy he gave you.
“i might have told her she was pretty or something,” he deadpanned, a hand combing through his parted hair.
you hated the way his words made you feel. “she is,” you mumbled despite the dull pain in your chest.
“she’s not my type though. so you can stop avoiding me now.”
“that’s not why i was avoiding you.” you looked up at him through your lashes, carefully trying to find the right words to say. “i didn’t want to be clingy or annoying, even though we’re just friends.”
realization dawned on him, thinking back to what he said before. “i don’t… i don’t think you’re annoying.” his hand moved on its own to cup your cheek which startled both of you.
“but you said-”
“i know what i said and i mean it. but i never thought of you like that. i just saw it as you being caring.”
your breath caught in your throat. you could only softly gaze at him, eyes glossed over and a smile aching to show on your lips.
“so if it’s not much to ask i want you to keep nagging me, preferably more than you nag the twins. preferably not just as a friend.” his voice was barely above a whisper.
your face broke into the brightest he’d ever seen you smile before you jumped to wrap your arms around his neck. chuckling, he swiftly wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around, burying his face in the crook of your neck and gently set you down.
“what the fuck just happened,” atsumu’s head popped from behind a wall nearby followed by osamu.
“i told you so, you owe me five onigiris now.”
you untangled yourself from suna to shoot them a glare. he reached over to grab your hand and place a chaste kiss before you walked over to the twins and start heading home.
“you did not just place a bet on my love life you idiots!”
“it was samu’s idea!”
“only because i knew for a fact in that moment, i was gonna win.”
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johermione · 24 days ago
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Hey, just wanted to clarify that I don't always use the term shipping in the usual sense, like I don't always want the characters to actually be or stay together romantically, I just use it in lack of a better term... and in reality I'm indifferent to them staying together or not? And would be more than fine with them being friends (and would probably prefer that alternative to the given storyline)...
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gothelphie · 4 months ago
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(sees rtd coming back) this is how torchwood stans can still win
i still never watched that new years special but wasnt gwen mentioned ? and then this is proceeded with rtd returning ? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hi?
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kariachi · a year ago
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Okay, I feel like harping on Charmcaster’s post-Aggregor Arc storyline again because damnit was it done bad.
Like, damn.
Like, first up, in case you’re new and haven’t been following me at any point in the last six, seven, too fucking many years- Couples Retreat is the worst episode of the franchise. Yes moreso than Most Dangerous Gameshow, which at least left some characters some dignity. Couples Retreat turns Charmcaster into a kidnapping statutory rapist (fun fact, if you find somebody unconscious outside your gate, bring them inside your home, and they can’t leave without your sayso? that’s kidnapping. and if you’re in your 20s and fuck a teenager? that’s rape. good job writers), Kevin into a untrusting moron, harpoons Gwen and Mike’s characters, the only fucker to get out clean was Ben and you could remove him and nobody would notice.
And it didn’t have to be like that! I’ve talked about it before, they could’ve had a dual Mike & Charm episode with a similar plot without any of that shit!
We start with the team heading for Gwen’s rather than Kevin’s because her wards and alarms are going off and that is a concern (immediately removing the ‘Kevin decided he could protect Gwen’s shit better than she could, despite it only having been gone after once and by someone who targeted him to do it’ and ‘gwen’s got so many wards and charms and things up nobody could’ve stolen her spellbook except apparently for the guy who stole it the first time, and she didn’t even fucking notice’ bullshit). We have it turn out that Mike’s to blame, has been planning this for months, and for the next bit things go as they did in canon with the fighting and the spelling and so on, expect here we don’t get people knocked unconscious. Charm opens the gate to Legerdomain and Mike shocks everybody by by putting on his most charming act and asking for an apprenticeship.
The Tennysons are concerned, Kevin is somewhere between concerned and ‘I may never have to deal with him again yay’, and Charm is is kinda lonely back in Legerdomain, could use company a bit closer to her level, and so despite all protests she brings Mike in and shuts the door again.
Episode consists of flashing between Charmcaster teaching Mike magic stuff (with no fucking romance because she’s in her twenties and he’s a teenager) and the Tennyson team trying to get into Legerdomain to ‘save’ her. Eventually Mike’s hubris comes back to bite him again and he tricks Charm into getting locked outside her own damn kingdom, at which point Charmcaster busts out the ‘motherfucker I am queen and wearer of the Alpha Rune’ heads right back inside, kicks Mike’s butt herself because she has more experience and power, throws him out, fucks off with the gate, end episode with Kevin laughing at Mike over the whole mess, we’re fucking good.
“But Achi, what about the shit in OV that builds off that?” That shit don’t happen. I mean Mike trying to get back into Legerdomain happens (and would actually make sense as compared to the original wherein he’d already tried to fucking flee Legerdomain when he supposedly was in full control of things, why would he suddenly be trying to go back, and here we’d know exactly where he got the ability to summon and control Charm’s rock monsters, we’d have seen her teach him to) but not the ‘Charmcaster has gone mad’ bullshit, which was only there to give an excuse for why she was redeemable despite having committed genocide which she only did because the writers wanted Dark and Dramatic and Edgy because UA had the depth of a fucking tea saucer.
Seriously “Charmcaster isn’t actually to blame for that shit because the Alpha Rune- which until know has never even been hinted to be in any way dangerous besides being a source of great power- causes it’s bearers to go violently mad, the genocidal dictator who had it before her said so” what the fuck sort’ve agency-destroying, revisionist, bullshit-
And that’s not even getting into the fact that we never do learn how the fuck she supposedly got the damn thing back to have it and be so affected by the time of genocide.
And again, we don’t need to have the genocide!
Picture, episode, starts as it did, until the team get into Legerdomain. Things are actually fine, nothing seems wrong, they’re escorted to the palace and Charm is happy to see them. Clearly very stressed going from nothing to ‘ruler of a dimension’ but seems fine. Then things slowly take a turn as more references to Daigon crop up, and she’s trying to get Gwen well seperated from the boys, and things get tenser until it comes out that she has A Plan.
She misses her father deeply, feels the loss of him like a knife to the gut, and ruling alone is wearing on her so, she doesn’t know what’s she’s doing and it gnaws at her. But Daigon, Daigon’ll bring her father back. All he needs is a sacrifice, enough power to resurrect the dead with extra as payment. And she’s was trying to figure out how she’ll pay that cost when who should present herself right at her front door but the greatest source of power she knows outside the Alpha Rune itself?
From there you could go one of two ways-
She kills the team, and things go like they did in canon. Her father is disappointed in her. His life isn’t worth the lives of others, no matter how much he means to her. This isn’t a healthy viewpoint, and this isn’t a healthy thing for a ruler to be doing. Still, he gives her some advice on being a better ruler and a better person, because he loves her and wants the best for her, before giving her a final kiss on the head and refusing their side of the deal, resurrecting the team. Charmcaster breaks down, and they leave her to the care of her subjects, hoping that she can move on and become the wonderful woman her father sees in her
She doesn’t kill the team. Like with Aggregor, Kevin steps up to take the ‘voice of reason’ reins against an antagonist. He knows what it’s like to lose your father, even without the fake memories of Devin Kwarrel’s death twists in his gut too, and he uses that common thread to talk her down. Her father was a good man, Kwarrel was a good man, he can only assume they would respond to being resurrected via the sacrifice of a sapient the same way- “I raised you better than this”. She fights against it the whole time, but eventually breaks and agrees with him that her father would’ve never wanted such a thing. Again Charmcaster breaks down, but because the team haven’t just been murdered they’re in more of a place to offer support (could even have a nice little gag where she starts crying and Kevin immediately goes from this calm voice of reason to panickedly looking to Gwen because his emotional skill has hit a wall). The team eventually has to leave again, but they leave with their good terms with Charmcaster pretty solid and her in a place from which she can begin to heal alongside her people
Either of those would’ve been awesome! But no, we gotta have fucking genocide.
What do they do for her arc in OV then, if it’s not ‘Charmcatser’s gone mad and we have to deal with that’? I don’t know. Maybe there’s some problem in Legerdomain that she can’t handle on her own, and we get a whole arc spent with the team in the other dimension, seeing Charmcaster’s continuing improvement (seeing improvement over the course of the arc) while learning more about Legerdomain, how it functions, and the people that live there. Could even have a scene where she apologizes for the whole mindcontrol thing she did with Kevin, straight up stating that seeing the lasting effects Adwaitta’s shit had on her people made her realize just how fucked up that was.
It could’ve been done! But no! That would require some fucking sense and decency!
Characters on this show fucking deserved better...
Also if Hex ‘I am very clearly abusive towards my niece’ Dipshit is getting a redemption he needs an actual fucking arc, it needs to involve Charm as more than a fucking antagonist, and because I don’t give enough of a shit about OG!Hex to bother, fuck it, he was eaten by a gazebo offscreen.
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timespace · a year ago
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i did it again
[image desc: two gifs: one of gwen cooper and the other of clara oswald. gwen has clearly been crying. she says “we all end up alone. not me. no way. you bring him back.” clara is standing with her hand outstretched, surrounded by smoke. she is saying “fix it. change it. change what happened. save him. bring him back.” /end desc]
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[image desc: a black dni banner reading “gwen bashers do not interact” in the middle in the torchwood font, with a photo of gwen on either side /end desc]
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heathneys · a year ago
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somebody stop me from throwing hands at somebody who said gwen is straight and courtney is a homophobe
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WHAT ABOUT THIS SCREAMS STRAIGHT AND HOMOPHOBIC???? gwourtney is td’s endgame, we been knew
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WHAT IS STRAIGHT IN THIS PICTURE??? maybe im a heathney stan yes but someone please point me in the direction of where the heterosexuality is in this image.
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ik gwen is claustrophobic but sis she definitely isn’t straight....
and courtney and gwen were robbed of being such a powerful wlw couple on television and being a great example for kids but let’s not talk about that....
jk we absolutely should and we will
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gjalleon · 3 years ago
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Someone got mad at me for saying Gwen Stacy was trans so I made this.
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gritsandbrits · 2 years ago
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Lately I've been seeing discourse about body types among female characters in B10 and I can't help but redesign Jo a bit. Here's the newest design I came up with:
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I know the picture is blurry (from the lighting and camera because my phone fucking sucks) but I want to share her possible final design. Unlike most of the female characters she's fat, very tall and with the fluffiest hair ever. I want to add that the reason I made her Black was that there wasn't a single major or even minor Black female character in the show and I'm very salty about that. I mean as cringey as the whole harem thing was you'd think there'd be a Black love interest (or a Middle Eastern or Polynesian girl but apparently they don't exist either). I'm trying to make her stand out in the fandom as well as if she'd exists in canon.
Yes she's fat and fabulous! 💅
Tagging: @noctisimperialistic @kelli-the-cat @mercedescannotbenz @crazyllamalover94 @mysticqueen-bee @kariachi and any Ben 10 fan or curious thoughts. Please please please leave feedback so I can make improvements on her and my drawing skills.
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hb-rizzle · 3 years ago
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This is the first time I’ve attempted this meme, but it seemed apt.
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redheadliner · 3 years ago
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SOCIAL  MEDIA  EDITS  :  5/?
————    ft.  instagram  ;  mj  +  friends      (  template  credit  )
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sepublic · 6 months ago
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Lilith’s Rage
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You can feel the internal anger emanating off of Lilith here, repressed but back and bubbling to the surface again, aggravated once more by Gwendolyn. This is her raw stress and negativity and hatred, and there’s so much of it that the beast is well-fed into something huge and powerful, lilith’s pain incarnate is overwhelming!
Beast Eda looks downright cute and small next to Beast Lilith, the poor innocent victim hurt and tortured by the evil elder sibling who’s jealous! Beast Lilith, the tormented and darker, unloved and demonic sibling seen as a monster, who feels like one and now IS one literally!
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That cruel and vindictive glee we saw in Agony of a Witch, returned (the lighting and time of day is the same)- The boiling resentment and accusation of YOU got to be loved and cute and idealized, while I was left and demonized as a monster that nobody wanted! You got a family and an identity while I had nobody, lost what little I had and was broken by the coven!
The torment in Lilith’s soul to resort to THIS and derive spiteful pleasure from it, a deep-seated grudge! The horrid joy at catching her sister so she can finally make Eda feel what she felt and understand, not the other way this time!
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Lilith is tired of taking care of Eda and being the bigger sibling, now she wants selfish revenge and she remembers how good this felt, to make her bratty little sister helplessly squirm in her grasp and beneath her power! That sister whose trouble-making successfully took the attention away from the people Lilith actually loved and wanted, Eda reaps what she sows and suffers the consequences now, just as Lilith always had!
It feels cathartic for Eda to be at her mercy and vulnerable and defenseless- Just like when Lilith CURSED Eda, that naive fool, taken down by the jaded and cynical, pessimistic and ‘realistic’ elder, who actually IS smarter for this; For cheating with betrayal and using whatever she can to win, because like Lilith said, she has to work smarter while Eda worked harder! THIS is Lilith, primal and unfiltered and raw!
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That self-fulfilling prophecy from everyone damning and resigning Lilith to that, to the point that she DOES lash out and attack her sister in rage over the maddening isolation... If everyone and fate itself is so insistent that Lilith be this horrid demonizing monster, THEN FINE she guess she will be, and make them all regret it!
She’ll embrace it with her black heart and derive a bitter, cruel joy and ‘freedom’ from it, in a dark way to how Eda embraced being the Owl Lady- Except Eda still did it on her own terms, Lilith is still in despaired resignation and relapsing once again.
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...I can see that being another reason why Lilith went with Gwen- Guilt that her jealousy had caused her to hurt Eda AGAIN, even if she wasn’t really in control... 
If these outbursts can keep happening, then Lilith needs some time away from the sister she cursed and indirectly abused- There’s shame and regret in her failure and outburst, remorse over who she was and still continues to be despite the warning signs and consequences, and Lilith understands that she does need to give Eda her space for her own good.
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So, she feels the need to separate from Eda to keep her safe, to not plague her with that toxicity, and work on those issues with Gwen- So that when they do meet again, Lilith is healthy and mature enough to be the sister that Eda missed and deserved for all those years! The unconditionally-loving sister, independent witch, and happy daughter that Lilith deserved to be!
But for now she still has a lot to work on, and for Eda’s safety and health, she needs to stay away from the real beast that is Lilith’s resentment. Until Lilith is more stable, things just won’t work out she’s afraid- And Lilith loves Eda too much to risk another incident until she KNOWS she can trust herself, because Eda trusted her when Lilith had known better- Eda already made the mistake of trusting Lilith not to curse her, so Lilith unfortunately knows better than Eda, when she trusts Lilith not to relapse.
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tetsvhoe · 4 months ago
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Boy oh boy, I keep reading Kuroo x Reader and Atsumu x Reader fanfics in which the boys cheat on the reader. I literally cried yesterday because of how scary that thought it lmao. Anyways, I’ve seen a lot of people talk about Kuroo being a player and getting bored of people easily so he would be a cheat. Same with atsumu, that he would put his pleasure above yours. Ugh my brain is about to explode…
cheating fics trigger me T^T come to tetsvhoe we don't have cheating and character deaths i just hurt y'all in many different ways aha
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he's loud, annoying at times, rightfully confident in his skills and looks, though it translates as being obnoxious and cocky. he's the star of the show, life of the party, and knows it. he's no stranger to dating rumors, to girls and boys throwing themselves onto him, to someone buying him a drink, to a napkin slid across the table with a phone number messily scribbled on it, to unwelcome touches on his arm, to invasive questions "who were you with last night?", "did you and yn finally call it quits?", "you were with a different person the last i saw you, weren't you?". he's young and esteemed, he's at the prime of his life, he has the face, the wealth, the fame, and carries it so well that everybody knows he's all that. "you could have anything, anyone you want," is what they say. "but i do," he simply replies, eyes darting to you, watching you candidly laugh oblivious to the fact that you are his whole world.
he looks the part, sometimes acts the part, so people just assume he's a player, he's insatiable, he can't keep it in his pants. but you know him better than that, don't you?
you know how he quickly turns to a puddle in your arms, he nuzzles his face into your palm, he whines half-asleep when you stop playing with his hair. he pouts when he wants a kiss but is too cool to ask for it so he stares at you as hard as he can, but you never cave, not before he does and asks you nicely. you give him a quick peck on the cheek and he looks at you incredulously. "that wasn't a kiss, that was a punishment!" he whines. you know how he folds when you give him one stern look and narrow your eyes from across the room, and he breaks in cold sweat. he rests his entire body weight on top of yours, buries his face into your shirt because the world is harsh and people are cruel, but you wrap your arms around him and tell him, "i know it doesn't change things, but i'm here for you. i know it may not feel like it, but everything will be alright."
you know how he chokes on the thick tension in the air when your voices get too loud and the words you say too sharp, like his own body betrays him for raising his voice at you. how the tears fill his bloodshot eyes after having held them back for so long, they start to rush down his cheeks one after the other. how his voice dulls to a whisper, no softer than that. just a while ago you were both screaming enough it shakes the wall of your home, but a simple and quiet "i'm sorry," spoke volumes even louder than that. you know how he hastily climbs into bed with you after a fight, stilling himself on the very edge of the bed. a look of fright flashes in his puffy eyes when you sit up to look at him, but he finds not the same vindicitve glare but your familiar soft and loving, albeit tired gaze. "d-do you not want to sleep next to me tonight..? i can- i can sleep on the couch if you like-" "come here before you fall and hit your head." he wills himself again to not cry, not out of anger or frsutration, but for gratitude, appreciation, relief. you know how you forgive him for his mistake long before he even forgives himself for ever hurting you.
the headlines and gossip will never know how much of a sore loser he is, a total simp for his one and only you.
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KUROO, ATSUMU, suna, bokuto, TERUSHIMA they're all simps. absolute losers.
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m4gp13 · 2 months ago
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I love most of the HOO characters but HOO would have been so much better if we got to see it through the eyes of characters we already knew.
We should have had one of the Stoll's, preferably Travis because he's older (I think), and he would have to deal with the repercussions of one of the titan army's most notorious demigod leaders being his brother and the conflicted feelings that would come with all that happened at the end of the war. There would have probably been a lot of distrust surrounding the Hermes cabin even after things had settled down. Travis would have been struggling with leading his cabin through new times, the pain of his brother's betrayal and the distrust of camp as well as being away from his brother for a prolonged amount of time probably for the first time ever.
Clarisse also should have been on the quest. She was probably guilty about all the deaths that occurred while she and the Ares cabin stayed at camp and also she just fascinates me. I want to see her perspective on things for more than maybe a couple chapters in SoM. She probably would have taken charge of the quest and tried her best to fill in the role of a leader in spite of everything going on like her dad. If Ares and Mars were warring in Frank's head they would have been doing the same in hers and we know from SoM that she's likely had scary and bad experiences with him before.
Also, Silena and Ethan shouldn't have died and instead been on the quest. The conflicting of knowing they were right and following the only person they thought could help them when they were just being used to further a goal that they didn't sign up for would have been interesting to explore. In HOO we are shown that the gods didn't keep their promise and that would have been gut-wrenching for the two of them and all the other TA demigods that joined CHB. They would have to force themselves to pick the better of two evils and deal with the hatred they'd undoubtedly receive due to their role in the first war and I want to see that concept explored. Also, how hard would it have been to just let them survive their injuries? Disabled people are right there and it would not have been difficult to ask someone about how to accurately depict the disabilities their injuries would have resulted in.
Between PJO and HOO Rick should have focused on the Romans and given them a series of their own before putting them up beside the Greeks. Even just a trilogy would have helped them a ton. We could have had any number of Romans on the Argo 2 that we actually care about instead of some kids we literally just met and are being asked to put them beside a guy we've been reading about for quite literally several years. I adore Frank and Hazel but Rick really shot himself in the foot with them. I want to know what NR was like before Percy showed up. I would have loved to see Hazel trying to figure out the modern world and NR's weird mix of modern and ancient. I would have loved to see Frank trying to adapt from his normal childhood up to his teens to being a child soldier in a war-torn world he knows nothing of. I would have loved to see stories from Reyna, Gwen, Dakota, Octavian, Jason, any of the Romans but Rick rushed himself and didn't give us a chance to connect with the Romans like we did with the Greeks and that made HOO an inherently weaker series.
There are a million other things I could say about this but that's a post for another day. Oidhche mhath.
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drabbles-of-writing · 6 months ago
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Adopted AU
So, how is Hunter's relationship with Grandma Gwendolyn? Considering that she visits Eda every year with a new "cure" for her curse.
Also, how did Gwen reacted to her daughter having a kid?
Extra: Hunter and King are partners in crime, constantly working together to compensate their individual weaknesses
Gwen first discovered Eda had a kid a few months after she kidnapped adopted him and Hunter hid like an angry cat under the couch, which is where Eda was fine to let him stay, until he accidentally gave himself away and Gwen discovered him. Gwen's first thought was "oh Eda you have a gremlin in your house. dont worry, i'll take care of it" and Eda is scrambling to grab tiney Hunter into her arms like "NO NO HES MY KID" and Gwen is going through Many Emotions upon hearing that shes whirling around like "YOU HAD A KID?? AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?" meanwhile Eda is still holding Hunter like "well i mean hes not mine mine but kinda?" and Gwen is a mix between "omg im a grandma" & "i cant let her keep the kid can i?? i mean shes still Suffering from the Curse is it Safe?" which wouldn't work out well because 11yo Hunter has had 0 proper ways to express emotions up until now and finally has a nice adult in his life. Gwen will have to drag him kicking and screaming all while risking getting a finger bitten off. she doesnt, obviously, because Eda puts her right in her place when she voices her concerns, but Hunter was Prepared to do it.
Gwen sees him as her grandson even if Eda and Hunter dance around actively calling each other family. her general opinion on him is "hes weird and hisses at me a lot and i feel very bad for him but hes my grandson and i love him". she learned very quickly that Hunter has no magic at all, and for a little bit was convinced it was proof Eda's curse was contagious until Eda shot that down. after figuring that out she dedicated her time to helping BOTH Eda and Hunter 'cure' themselves. Eda is her main objective, but she adds in a good amount of research to try and cure Hunter, too. something neither of them want. its because of Gwen's insistence on curing Hunter in the thought that theres something Wrong with him that caused Hunter to have the same opinion towards Gwen as Eda, but without the years of history Before she was like that. so whenever Gwen shows up he's hissing at her for getting close and ducking behind Eda all while insisting hes not hiding, he is just sacrificing Eda to whatever 'cure' she has this time first so he has a chance to run. he also especially isn't a big fan of her because of how she pities him for being unable to use magic, and he feels she thinks hes weaker for it and needs to be babied, and oh how Fragile he is in a world like this, just Look at those scars. it gets better after Gwen realizes her errors and apologizes to her two daughters, and later offers an apology to Hunter. takes him a little longer to be civil with her, hes Hunter after all this kid doesn't trust just Anyone, but they get there.
and god, yeah, Hunter and King would be PEAK crime partners. King was like 3 when Hunter arrived at the Owl House, so he only really remembers a life that had Eda and Hunter in it. it took tiney Hunter a little bit to figure out what hes supposed to do with the demon kid but the two manage to get along and do Crimes together rather effectively in spite of their shortcomings. King didn't know Eda's past, so I doubt he'd know any of Hunter's. I'm tempted to make another post detailing the relationship between King and Hunter and how they lived w each other
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athingofvikings · 5 days ago
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It occurred to me that while I did an introduction post for myself for new followers, I haven't done one for my writing.
So here's that.
First off, you can find me at AO3 here.
Of my personal works, I have the following:
Long-Fics
The Savage Seas Regular Version, Explicit Version
Both a Pirate AU and a Soulmate AU for HTTYD, with some elements from Frozen.
Astrid Hofferson is a pirate hunter in service to the colonial military, and has been tasked to hunt down the pirate Night Fury. And when she catches up with him and confronts him in a duel on the deck of his ship, she loses–because how else can you react except in surprise to the pirate saying the words that have been on your wrist since birth, words you expected to hear at a formal ball, and not punctuated by cannons?
“I suppose that this dance is ours, milady, but you may lead.”
Part 1, consisting of chapters 1-11, has been posted, with two different versions. The regular version has fade-to-black for the smutty stuff. The explicit version... doesn't. ;) Otherwise, they're identical, allowing the readers to pick for their comfort level.
How To Change A Destiny
Part 1: How To Become An Urban Legend, Part 2: How To Tempt A Change Of Fate
HTTYD Urban Fantasy AU, featuring Fae-Hiccup and Vampire-Astrid in modern day New York. Not abandoned, but currently on the back burner.
A Thing Of Vikings
The big boy of my works, currently weighing in at 119 chapters and nearly 1,300,000 words. Part IV is currently being drafted, and I hope to resume posting sometime in mid-2022.
My first HTTYD work, it came about when my spouse introduced me to How To Train Your Dragon back in 2016; my first response after finishing the movie was "Cute, but not historically accurate." Three weeks later, as I was gearing up for NaNoWriMo, the plot bunny bit down, "But what if it was?"
So I tossed the sci-fi novel I had originally planned to write and started working and researching on this instead. I put the first HTTYD movie as a real event in the Scottish Hebrides in 1040 AD, and let the effects ripple out from there... meaning that, in an era when the most advanced, most sophisticated military weapon on the planet is Greek Fire, a small Norse tribe suddenly has a fire-breathing air force.
Needless to say, this breaks things. Little things, like... kingdoms. And the ripple effects continue to grow and build.
One Shots
A Game Of Pretend
Whumpy, sad-fic one-shot collaboration between me and @astridthevalkyrie that grew out of a tumblr post bouncing back and forth between us.
I'm Not Saying Anything
Hiccup and Astrid aren't officially a couple... but Stoick has his suspicions. Under 1k words, silly and fluffy.
Chicken Soup
Fluffy domestic sick-fic/caretaker fic featuring Hiccup/Astrid/Eret/Heather in a polycule.
I'll Haunt That Ass
Hiccstrid, for a tumblr prompt "If I die, I'll haunt that ass". Pure fluff.
Snowed In
Hiccstrid, written for e_wills's birthday a few years back. Even more fluff as Hiccstrid are snowed in and the power goes out.
Sticky Situation
Into The Spider-verse, Gwen/Miles. Things are going great for Gwen. She has a steady boyfriend--in another dimension, sure, but she can commute. Of course, that doesn't help The Awkward when his dad catches the two of them making out... Whoops.
Reflections From The Top Of The World
The Dragon Prince, Callum/Rayla. The battle is over, the villains (seemingly) vanquished, and the day is won. It's time for Callum and Rayla to rest and ponder where their relationship is going, and their future together.
Reflections From The Study Of Darkness
The Dragon Prince, Soren POV. Life is a state of change, and change is never easy, especially when everything you know has changed around you. Soren has to struggle with dealing with his past, his future, and his father's legacy.
South Of Freezing To Death
HTTYD Modern AU, Antarctic Research Station AU, Hiccup/Astrid/Eret smut fic. A bit of spite-writing I did after someone bashed smutty shipping one-shots on Discord.
Winter is closing in for Antarctica, and the last cargo plane of the season arrives with supplies and a few new people to overwinter. One of them is really cute, and Astrid and Eret can't help but thirst over the new arrival.
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hellyeahheroes · a month ago
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@javajulien wrote up an excellent explanation in the differences between Bendis’ Miles and current Miles so I just want to add my own input.
There were a few things holding back Bendis’ Miles. Make no mistake. Bendis is foundational to Miles Morales because he uses parallels to highlight the differences between Peter Parker and Miles Morales. The same narrative technique littered all over ITSV? It’s a staple of Miles Morales.
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Ultimate Spider-Man #1
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Ultimate Comics: All-New Spider-Man #1
Bendis writes the origin of Miles Morales fantastically. That said, it had issues.
1. Bendis did so much of telling how Miles is not like Peter, he forget to tell you who Miles is.
What were Miles’ hobbies? What does he like to do for fun? What kind of music does he listen to? What do his parents do for a living? Did he have friends in his middle school before he transferred to Brooklyn Visions? What is his social status at school?
Now if you ask anyone prior to now these questions that are Peter Parker appropriate, they could provide an answer. For like 8 years, we didn’t get a solid answer to most of these during Bendis’s entire run. I am not joking. And the things we did learn we didn’t even learn from the comic. For example, there was no hint of Rio’s and Jefferson’s occupation in the comic. You want to know how anyone would find out? Someone on tumblr asked Bendis back in like 2012 and he revealed that Rio was a registered RN and Jefferson was a cop. I am not joking in that information was scant regarding things about Miles Morales.
Why did this happen? It has to do with Bendis’ writing style. Throughout Ultimate Spider-Man, Bendis style requires intimate conversations and dialogue between two people. Think of it as a Seinfeld-esque style regarding scene. This worked for Peter because high school Peter was a loner or nerd loser and loser so you had a bunch of scenes where Peter would speak to Mary Jane or Aunt May or some other character. It worked because it fit the character. Pick any of the first Ultimate Spider-Man comics and you will see what I mean. Bendis doesn’t like cluttering the page with dialogue of more than 2 people. This is also why he prefers artists who can draw good facial expressions because they assist in the visual storytelling that fit Bendis’ style.
The problem is that when Miles came up, his style of storytelling was counterintuitive to the character he wanted to create in Miles. If you read Bendis’ Miles, you would find yourself wondering if Miles had any other friends aside from Ganke or if Miles even spoke to his mother.
Miles Morales wasn’t a bullied nerd loser like Peter. We could expect Peter to not really interact with anyone because he didn’t have any friends and people mostly ignored him. Miles’ entire school or family life is mostly ignored during Bendis’ run.
2. Bendis got writer’s bloc right after he finished completing the origin of Miles Morales into Spider-Man
It was right at the start of Venom War is when it became apparent that Bendis fundamentally had no idea where he wanted to go with his character. From that point on, the worst decisions regarding Miles’ character were born. I shall list them for you.
Killing Rio Morales
Subsequently forcing Miles back in spite of him having every demotivator to not being Spider-Man by essentially shaming him
Bringing back Peter Parker and making his death meaningless only to write him and subsequently Mary Jane out.
The resolution of Katie Bishop and that entire arc was rushed.
Moving Miles to 616 and causing confusion whether Miles even remembers his life in the home universe
Miles talking like an out of touch white guy who doesn’t even know his ethnicity
Danika Hart
The Spider-Gwen romance
Resurrecting Aaron Davis
And throughout this whole entire thing, not one Miles’ centric villain was created hence why the Prowler was resurrected.
Considering that Miles drop the mantle of Spider-Man.
I think I covered the big ones.
3. Bendis couldn’t relate to Miles
Okay, I know I am kind of infringing on @javajulien post but this is actually so important that it needs to be repeated.
Peter Parker is a Jewish white teen.
Miles is a half African American/half Afro-Boricua teen.
Bendis is a Jewish white father of a family with some adopted kids who are considered transracial in that they are black kids adopted in a white family.
Bendis has been a Jewish teen once upon a time but he has never been a black one. And that makes a huge difference regarding Miles in almost every adaptation post-Bendis.
Saladin Ahmed is a Palestinian man from Michigan whose family worked in Jessie Jackson’s Rainbow Coalition Campaign when he was a kid. He went to and also taught at Brooklyn University and then married his wife, a black woman who is also a civil rights and social Justice advocate in Brooklyn.
Peter Ramsey is a black man.
Jason Reynolds is a black man from Brooklyn.
Evan Narcisse, the narrative designer of Miles Morales PS4/5, is a black man.
You understand how important that is now? Everything that you love about Miles as a character came from contributions of fellow men of color who related to the character in a way Bendis couldn’t. This isn’t a dog at Bendis because Jack Kirby created Black Panther and his Black Panther was corny as fuck. It wasn’t until Christopher Priest came around and basically made Black Panther the shit and gave the character substance.
This is not to say that Black writers can’t mess up because there is a reason why I don’t mention Bryan Edward Hill’s annual(it’s not bad. It was a weird direction and rewrite).
In summary, this is to say that Miles Morales fans are aware of how polarizing Bendis’ writing is. We understand that it isn’t where Miles Morales thrives but where his story begins just like most Amazing Spider-Man fans do not really recommend one start in Ditko’s origin because it doesn’t actually reflect what the character becomes. Bendis is Miles’ Ditko. You saw Into the Spider-Verse so you get the gist of everything to just pick up where Ahmed begins. Bendis is not everyone’s cup of tea nd that’s fine.
@ubernegro
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clotpole-art · 5 months ago
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oh, I'm set alight: a fire-inspired morgana/gwen playlist The relationship flameout we deserved to see, damn it! Gwen struggles to keep Morgana close as her lady grows evermore spiteful and power-hungry after being influenced by Morgause. Their relationship devolves and dissolves as Morgana reaches toward madness and Gwen clings to her morals.
1. I Don't Smoke - Mitski (Gwen) 2. Way Out There - Lord Huron (Morgana) 3. Bringing the House Down - CLOVES (Gwen) 4. Vesta - Fear of Men (Morgana) 5. Deliverance - CHVRCHES (Gwen) 6. The Woodpile - Frightened Rabbit (Morgana) 7. Forever - Mumford & Sons (Gwen) 8. Before the Fever - Grimes (Morgana) 9. Smoke Signals - Phoebe Bridgers (Gwen) 10. As It Was - Hozier (Morgana)
for Albion Party '21, playlist notes under the cut
1. I Don't Smoke - Mitski (Gwen) If your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room You can lean on my arm as you break my heart Just don't leave me alone wondering where you are I am stronger than you give me credit for
2. Way Out There - Lord Huron (Morgana) I'm a long way from the one that I loved I've been tending old flames, lamenting what was Drifting in a land time forgot If you think that I've changed, you know me not
3. Bringing the House Down - CLOVES (Gwen) Show me that it matters And I'll try, I'll try to keep it together But you're bringing the house down I can see it burning out
4. Vesta - Fear of Men (Morgana) Live with all my flaws, save me from the fall Enter in my blood and take a human form Oh, I’m set alight, how I burn Oh, I’m set alight, how I burn for you
5. Deliverance - CHVRCHES (Gwen) Trust me that I struggle with all your destruction Screaming that I told you so Trust me when I talk about the disillusion Building up and letting go
6. The Woodpile - Frightened Rabbit (Morgana) So will you come back to my corner? Spent too long alone tonight Would you come brighten my corner? A lit torch to the woodpile
7. Forever - Mumford & Sons (Gwen) I know I've had you troubled and I know I've seared your mind But you know that I love you and that our love's not blind And sure, my dreams lie with you, but I've many more besides And if I can't see them through, our love will slowly die
8. Before the Fever - Grimes (Morgana) Dance me to the end of the night, be my girl Madness, intellect, audacity Truth and the lack thereof They will kill us, oh, have no doubt
9. Smoke Signals - Phoebe Bridgers (Gwen) I buried a hatchet, it's coming up lavender The future's unwritten, the past is a corridor I'm at the exit looking back through the hall You are anonymous, I am a concrete wall
10. As It Was - Hozier (Morgana) Whatever here that's left of me is yours Just as it was, just as it was, baby Before the otherness came and I knew its name The drug, the dark, the light, the flame
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belial-the-ink-demon · 4 months ago
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so if ya'll in a mafia, what goods do you make a buck out of? or is it the normal of drugs, guns etc?
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that would be a question to ask the boss, Bendy, owned by @xcherry-artx .
After being saved from the death penalty by the boss, i was hired into the mafia and he bribed the state police into forgiving my past as an assassin for local mafias. They not only complied but gave me a minor job as a one man SWAT. Pays a lot of money, so i have my own stash that i use specifically for buying food stuffs for the mafias' kitchen as well as emergencies. I haven't told the other's how much money i have, but (in spite of Gwen's @gwimm eating habits making me buy more supplies than normal) I have saved somewhere close to half a million.
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pizzaboat · 6 months ago
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Okay, while I'm gonna have to admit for the most part gwen wasn't as bad as we thought she would be. She's pretty questionable from the off hand comments lilith makes about their relationship even before the curse. I could talk about that but I don't have enough brain power since I'm running on four hours of sleep.
Gwendolyn is shown as a concerned mother when it comes to Eda but her daughter was only nearly petrified a few weeks ago but she comes to visit now?? Like I know she was wrapped up in those asshats scam, but I think any decent parent would rush alot sooner to check on their kids after nearly dying.
She says she heard about the ceremony. It would've been on the news that lilith was the one to arrest eda and bring her in. It would've been shown that lilith was thrown into the cage to be petrified too.
Again. Anyone who at the very least cared about one of their kids would've come rushing for answers. But gwendolyn didn't. What the fuck?
Who gives a fuck about a cure if your daughter is dead? Who gives a fuck about a cure if she's possibly mortally wounded? If the curse had taken over completely? Gwen didn't seem surprised to see eda walking around after the emperor declared that she'd be stuck like that forever.
I don't know how in the loop gwen was, but if she knew as much as she claimed she would've started asking questions, like why is eda back to normal? What's going on with lilith?
Also, what fucking parent tells there kid to give them a moment when they say they nearly died too? All she was focused on was eda.
Gwen saw liliths hair she commented on the dying and straightening, she would've seen the grey streak. And regardless of wether or not she was paying attention. She should've been asking why her two daughters who she raised had HETEROCHROMIA. Your not paying attention to lilith, well what about your favourite child gwen? Wtf
What the fuck???
She doesn't give a fuck about lilith. Oh, you were always so self sufficient. Fuck off.
You never gave her the time of day. Look at liliths issues. She has them all! She has an unhealthy idea of how authority figures act and she didn't lick it off a stone.
I'm sorry. I started a rant there but gwen is either poorly written or suss. Please let her be suss. Because we saw she regretted how she acted about edas curse outside of the other's view, but we never saw a lone reaction when it came to lilith. There was always someone around.
We don't know what she actually thinks about lilith. Someone who spent thirty years of their life with a wedge between their favourite child isn't gonna let it slip that you cursed their kid and lied.
Gwen didn't care that lilith almost died during the petrification ceremony. That scene wasn't comedic hyperbole. That was supposed to show lilith being sad.
What ever the case is. Fuck gwen. She reached peak assholery vibes when it came to Lilith. And lilith with her peak decision making skills went with the woman who neglected her all her life because they're gonna make things right
Sorry it turned back into a directionless rant. Gwen is entertaining, but God is she an asshole. I'm gonna need to see more than some promiss that she's changed. I need to see she isn't going to hurt lilith out of spite or something.
I don't know her motivations towards lilith but she's certainly never cared just by what we've heard and she was questionable towards eda too. My biggest question is how badly was lilith neglected as a child? Because edas the favourite gwen would kill for and she doesn't care if lilith almost dies.
I became super protective of lilith here.. but it strikes a personal nerve with me when parents ignore massive signs that their child isn't doing well in any capacity
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tangerineyoongles · a month ago
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Scumbag Chapter 5
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Pairing: ??? x Scumbag!reader || wc: 6.4k || Genre: Angst, Smut, some Fluff || Fic type: cafe!AU, Fleabag!AU || Rating: 18+
Warnings: Alcoholism, mentions of character death, car crash, death scene, people just being assholes
Summary:  Poor, tired, utterly lonely, a pathological liar, and kleptomaniac. Oh, not to mention an absolute alcoholic. Life had not dealt you a favorable hand, but instead of trying to make the best of it, you live your life with a bitter kick in your step, taking anyone and everyone you can down with you.
What a fucking scumbag.
A/N: Here’s where things take a turn for the worst... I promise things will get better in future chapters 
Italics=flashbacks
Previous Chapter || Masterlist || Next Chapter
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You don’t open the shop on Sunday’s, lucky for you it just so happens to be Sunday.
The night before when you got home from the disastrous Christmas party, you decided to take part in your favorite pass time, drink. Drink until you forget what had happened, drink until you forget who you are. And since it’s Sunday, you don’t have to get out of bed early and attempt to open the shop hungover. You can just sleep.
Wait, who the hell was knocking at your door?
You groan, not wanting to get up, but the disturber of the peace was relentless. When the knocking ceases to let up, you finally roll yourself out of bed, careful not to make any sudden movements for the sake of not throwing up, and somehow safely make it to your front door. You certainly were not expecting to come face to face with Gwen.
“You need to apologize.” Straight to the point, no beating around the bush.
“Apologize, for what?” You scoff, you know she can’t be referring to last night. She better not be.
“Last night.” Fuck. “You need to apologize to dad.” She forces herself into your home, taking a step past the door frame and crowding into your small entry way.
“No way. That gift was humiliating, Gwen! He should’ve never gifted that.” You respond, walking further into your apartment, trying to make some space between you and your sister.
“Do you even know why he gave you that gift?” Her voice sounds desperate, trying to get you to reason with her.
“To embarrass me?” You spit back.
“To help you! Dad knows what it’s like to lose a partner. He knows what it’s like to lose someone you love, he lost two wives.” Her voice grows quieter. “He understands the pain you’re going through and was just trying to reach out and help.”
Her words make you grow silent. You didn’t think of it that way. It’s true, your step-father lost both Gwen’s birth mother and your mother. Death whisked them away before their time. Two deaths can be heartbreaking, devastating. You know the feeling. But there’s no way in hell you were going to admit that your step-father was in the right.
“Is that all you came here for, Gwen?” You ask, voice much smaller than earlier. You feel the effects of your hangover taking over full force and you just want to go back to bed.
“No, actually.” She says as she twiddles her thumbs. “I’m being presented an award. It’s for my stem cell research. I’m allowed to invite some people to the event and, well, I wanted to invite you.”
All you can do is stare back at your sister skeptically. The amount of times she’s talked to you and invited you to things in the past months was rather surprising.
“I find it a bit strange how much you want to see me now that Jin is gone.” Your words are spiteful, malice stems from your voice, you feel like you can’t trust her to be genuine.
She doesn’t respond at first. All she does is look back at you with a frown, she stares like she’s analyzing you.
“You know, I’m not the one who cut off contact when you went to college.” She says. “That was you.” She’s right, you know it too. “Here. Just, take the invitation.” A white envelope is pulled from her pocket. She holds it out to you, waiting for you to take it.
“I can’t promise I’ll be there.” You say, though you take the envelope regardless.
“Well it’s RSVP so if you do decide to go, make sure you do so quickly.” She points to the envelope. You’ll do whatever you please, thank you very much. But honestly, you’ll probably go. What the hell else do you have to do?
“I’ll think about it. Now do you mind leaving? I’ve got some sleep to catch up on.” You say with a glare. Heavy eyelids pull you down, god you just want to sleep all day.
“Alright. I’ll go.” She begins to make her way back to the door, but stops just short of opening it. “Drink some water before you go back to bed.” And then she’s gone.
Who the hell does she think she is, your mom?
You drink some water anyways.
//
A full day of sleep certainly did you well. After recovering from your hangover and having a day to relax, you return to work feeling rejuvenated. You open early with fresh pastries and coffee ready to brew. And to your surprise, you have your first customer of the day come in bright and early.
“Good morning!” You greet.
“Morning!” The sweet florist from next door says with a sweet smile. That was certainly a sight to see first thing in the morning.
The morning consists of a pleasant conversation with Jimin as you serve him a cup of coffee, as well as a visit from one of your regulars, plus more.
“Hey kid. I see you’ve brought friends.” You stare at the two boys behind Jungkook with skeptical eyes.
Jungkook chuckles. “Don’t worry, I told them they have to buy something.” He says, as if reading your mind.
“Great, what can I get you then?” You wait patiently for Jungkook to decide. Suddenly, the young usually lively kid grows a little timid. “Do you still have banana milk?” He asks.
“Banana milk? How old are you, five?” You joke, not picking up on the way he said still, as if you’ve served it to him before. “Yeah, I’ve got it.” You reach into the cold case piled with drinks and find the banana flavored milk and handing it to him. His friends place their orders as well and the three of them bring some life into your usually dead shop.
It’s nice, you think. The way that one day, one single day, can turn everything around, give you hope. The shop felt some much more homey with people inside, this was only the beginning, you hope, maybe you were finally getting somewhere.
And your sister.
It felt strange at first, how often she’s been bothering you, but deep down you kind of like it. You want her to care about you, you want her to invite you to things, to be around her. Maybe she really did want you to go to that gala and support her. So you decide you will.
//
Once again, your wardrobe has failed you. You had nothing nearly nice enough to wear to a fancy gala. There would be doctors and sponsors, people with a great deal of money. What kind of outfit do you wear to something like that? You didn’t really have a good dress. Maybe you should call Gwen and-
Wait a minute, what’s that? Your hand runs along a black material in the depths of your closet and you pull it out. A smooth, mid-length black dress with long sleeves. Simple, maybe not the most impressive dress you’ve seen, but hopefully good enough.
The venue is nice, a large space with tall windows that look out into a beautiful garden. There’s all sorts of people there, but luckily, you spot your sister fairly fast. She’s dawned in a gorgeous green dress, it fits her perfectly. Honestly, you’d kill for a body like hers. And the attention, people are probably all over her tonight.
No, now’s not the time to be jealous, you have to go congratulate Gwen.
You walk over to her with a big smile on your face.
“Hey, Gwen! Congratulations.” You reach out for a hug but she pulls back. Her gaze seems to land everywhere but you. There are stress lines engraved in her forehead, making you drop your smile. “You alright?”
“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” Her voice comes off a bit harsh, clearly it’s not fine.
“Gwen?”
She lets out a huff of air in frustration, gaze finally turning towards you.
“I’m just really nervous, alright? TI’m making a speech later and there are a lot of important people here tonight. I need to impress.”
Makes sense. Many of Gwen’s superiors from work were here, as well as sponsors and philanthropists who donated often to the hospital.
“Alright, sounds like you need a drink.” You say with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. You stop as you see your sister does not join you, she only looks at you with pleading eyes.
“Please, just, don’t be yourself tonight, alright?”
Ouch. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You reel back at her strong words.
Stress always gets the best of Gwen, you can see the regret for her word choice in her eyes.
“Just, don’t cause a scene. Sit back, enjoy yourself. Quietly.” She begs.
“Right, because I always cause a scene.” You say with a sarcastic smile. She attempts to say more, but you shake her off. “I’m going to go get you that drink, alright?” She doesn’t go after you when you walk off.
Alright, not the best start to the night, but again, Gwen was just stressed. And you guess she’s right, you got into trouble sometimes, so what? You wouldn’t be stupid enough to ruin her night in front of a bunch of rich doctor big wigs, who does she think you are?
You eventually find someone toting around with a tray of champagne and grab two. Gwen definitely needed to calm down and quite frankly, so did you. You take a swig of your glass before turning around and trekking back to Gwen. More people have arrived since you first walked in, strangers move back and forth, clumping in conversational groups. It gets hard to maneuver your way through them all, causing you to come in contact with the back of someone who doesn’t even turn around. Champagne spills out of the glasses and collects on the skirt of your dress. You huff out in annoyance, silently cursing the man who bumped into you.
Instead of continuing on your journey back to Gwen, you make a side trek to the restrooms. Luckily, your dress is black and the spill doesn’t really show, but you gather some napkins and wipe away what you can anyways. While you pat your dress dry, you finish off the champagne in the two flutes, there wasn’t much left, why waste it? Now that your dress is mostly dry, you can leave the restroom in search of more drinks for you and your sister.
When you step of out of the restroom, you spot a new server with a drink tray immediately. You head over to them, ready to pick two more glasses off the tray and find Gwen.
“Oh, thank god.” The server says exasperatedly as you approach. Was she that desperate to get people to take her drinks? If so, you’ll take four. “There’s an emergency, I’ve got to go. Please take this!” She shoves the tray into your hands, you hold your hands out to ensure everything doesn’t come crashing down. Wait, why the hell was she giving you the tray?
“Oh. I’m not-”
“Thanks again!” As she steps away and you get a fuller view of her outfit, you notice how similar her dress is to yours. Did she really think you were another server?
“Oh my god, okay.” So now you had to find an actual server to pawn the tray off to. Your eyes scan the floor, though you don’t see anyone. Time to walk around.
You grab a drink off the tray and take a sip for yourself as you search. Some of the event goers grab drinks off of your tray, thinking you’re a server, but you go with it, you looked like one so why go through the trouble of explaining the truth? You finish off your drink and take another one just as you see a door near the back of the room. As you walk towards it, you see other servers wandering in and out. Bingo.
As you approach them, you try and get their attention, but no one listens. They’re all too busy making sure the people are getting the attention they need. Once you realize talking to them is worthless, you decide to wander into the back room. There was countless champagne glasses ready to be filled, tons of champagne bottles, and trays to cary drinks on. Not to mention boxes of finger foods to replenish the food table. Jackpot! You set the tray in your hands down on a clear surface and finally grab a glass for Gwen.
Just before you exit the room, you chug the glass you picked up for yourself earlier and grab another one. For the road.
Finally, you can relay the glass of champagne that you promised to your sister. You catch her near the center of the room, talking to some familiar faces. Oh yeah, you didn’t realize that your step-father and grandma would be there. Why wouldn’t they be? You had no desire to be anywhere near them, so you decide to get in and give the drink to Gwen quickly, then bolt. Solid plan.
As you approach, you begin to hear their conversation over the droning of talking and laughing around you.
“-proud of you, you know that?” Your grandmother snakes her arms around your sister tightly. “If only your sister were more like you.” Damn grandma, even when you’re not around, all she can seemingly do is talk shit about you.
Your step-father stays silent, not that you believed for a second that he would stand up for you against the wicked witch of the west. Your sister on the other hand sighs. You two had your ups and downs, but sisters stick up for each other, right?
“I know.” Or not. “She’s struggling with the shop. I think she might need money. I was planning on gifting her some at the Christmas party, until-”
“Can we not talk about that, please?” The old man finally speaks.
So your grandma hates you, your sister pities you, and your father doesn’t even want to think about you. Sounds about right. Abort mission. Instead of giving Gwen the drink she so clearly needs, you down it, along with the second one you picked up for yourself. Maybe it would be best to leave. You hardly know anyone here and the ones you do know don’t even want you around.
But you’re not going to ditch an event with free drinks and food.
A server walks by and you quickly grab a glass before wandering over to the food table. There is an array of finger foods, little sandwiches, fruits, pastries, you could grab a couple plates full and gorge yourself to your stomachs content. You begin to pile up a little plate when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
“Excuse me, could you get us some refills please?” When you turn, you come face to face with a man. He is rather short and plump, balding at the top of his head. He’s decked out in a finely tailored suit and is accompanied by a pair of people who look equally as rich as he does.
“Oh, uh, sorry, I’m not a server. Excuse the dress.” You laugh it off and the little group joins in with you.
“Could have fooled me!” The woman beside him in a smooth cream colored dress says. They laugh again and you join, turning your body to fully include yourself in the group.
“So, Marlene, you were saying?” the third person, a younger man with slicked back hair turns to the woman, Marlene.
“Right. I was just talking about my son. He’s going to Harvard, full ride!” She says excitedly. Well, good for Marlene and Marlene’s son.
“Not bad.” The older man says. You’d say it’s a lot better than not bad, but you suppose these people have different standards.
They continue to chat and you play along, pretending you know any of all whats going on. It’s fun for a while, pretending to be amongst the elite. It was like a little window into your sister’s world. But it does grow boring when they begin to talk medical jargon that you completely don’t understand. Once you finish off your plate and have had a few more drinks, you find a point to excuse yourself and slip off to another place in the room.
It’s fairly crowded. Your sister is supposed to be making a speech closer towards the end of the night and you suppose more people have shown up, ready to see her win her award. As you walk around the room people watching, your shoulder hits another guest. You almost spill your drink once again, but you learned from your incident earlier and brace to glass from tipping over. You turn, ready to berate the poor soul for running into you, but when you meet their eyes, you find yourself frozen in shock. You certainly didn’t expect to see him here.
“Hoseok?” There, in the flesh, standing tall above you, was none other than Jung Hoseok. His hair was dyed black, styled in a way that exposed his forehead. His skin was perfectly clear, and damn did that suit look good on him. What the hell was he doing here. “What the hell are you doing here? Do you miss me that much?”
He chuckles, you forgot how sexy that sound was.
“No, I-”
You didn’t quite care for an explanation honestly, who cares why he’s at your sister’s little award gala thing. He was here, and you were buzzed, it must be fate right? Maybe this was your chance to get him back.
“Say, this place is pretty stuffy, maybe we should get out of here.” You send him a seductive wink, sneaking a hand toward his arm.
Instead of taking up your offer with open arms, he gently pushes your hand away and sends you an awkward smile.
“Uh, no, sorry. I’m actually here with my girlfriend. She works at the hospital.”
Oh right, his so called girlfriend. Honestly, you didn’t believe him the first time he mentioned it. Hoseok, dating and being committed? It sounded fake. It still does.
“Hey, who’s this?” Lo and behold, he does have a girlfriend.
A pair of dainty hands wrap around Hoseok’s arm and hold onto him. Before you, a small girl with a bright smile looks at you. Dammit she was cute.
“Jisoo, hi. This is just an old friend.” He says, bringing all his attention to his girlfriend.
Old friend, yeah you’d argue you were a little more than that, but based on the way that they’re eyeing each other with loving eyes, you doubt they’d care if you said anything.
“Right, nice to meet you. I’m going to, uh, go. Bye.” You say, lamely excusing yourself from the uncomfortable situation. You down the drink in your hand and reach for another, you definitely needed one after that.
It didn’t really hit you, how much alcohol you had taken tonight, not until that last glass. You could feel yourself growing a little dizzy, but you had no plans of stopping. Your family, Hoseok, the way you were surrounded by people far more successful than you, it was all a little much, the only way to drown out the hurtful thoughts was to drink. Like always.
You knew better though, you didn’t want to “make a scene” as your sister put it earlier, so you keep to yourself by a back wall. Observing and loathing. Your sister was going to make her speech soon, the second she finishes, you were going to leave.
“I find it hard to believe your sister invited you, to be perfectly honest.” You know the sound of that frigid voice anywhere. “I think she’s grown too soft on you these days.” Your grandmother stands with her hands behind her back, not facing you, but clearly speaking to you. What did this bitch want, can’t she leave you to be bitter in peace?
Even in your hazy state, you manage to get out a coherent response.
“I’m sure this come as a surprise to you, but not everyone despises me like you do.” You grumble. Maybe you and your sister had drifted apart over the years, maybe you had your differences and didn’t always like each other, but she never hated you. Not like her. Not like the rest of your step family.
She doesn’t acknowledge your comment and instead finds a new topic to show her disappointment for you.
“I’m not entirely sure why you decided to show up in the first place. Shouldn’t you be at work?” She asks, finally turning to you with a skeptical eye.
“No? I close at five. Why would I be at work?” Genuinely confused, you raise a brow as you look back at her. You’re head is spinning and it’s hard to focus, but even with a blur in your vision, you can see the way her wrinkles paint her face.
“I imagine you would want to stay open later. Considering you hardly make any money running that place, you might want to consider extending your hours. Or perhaps just get rid of it all together.”
She always had something to say about your shop. Why was she so adamant about you shutting it down?
“I’m doing just fine, I don’t need to work later and I definitely don’t need to shut it down!” You raise your voice a bit, a slight slur in your words. You can feel your blood pressure rising, heart pounding.
“Why are you so adamant about keeping it open, it does you no good.” She sighs.
“Why do you care so much! You’ve literally never cared about anything else I do, so why does it matter if I keep it open or not?” At this point, your voice has garnered the attention of a few bystanders. Pretentiously rich philanthropists and doctors alike interested in a new form of entertainment.
“You may not have been born into this family, but unfortunately our name is still attached to you.” She says lowly and calmly. “It would be unfortunate if you ran that place along with our name into the ground. Sell it and find something you’re more capable of doing.”
So maybe you were something to your grandmother. You were a name, her name to be exact. But what worth was a name really?
“I don’t give a fuck about this name!” You laugh bitterly, opening your arms haphazardly and spilling some of the drink in your hand. You can hardly even remember your name in this drunken state. “In fact, why not change it? Then I can finally be rid of you all. You’re not even my real family!” Many more onlookers have gathered, whispering about the sight before them. You step forward and recklessly swing your arm again, causing some of the liquid in your glass to spill upon your grandmother’s shoe.
She gasps at the unsightly scene. She never wanted to gain the attention of the others or embarrass herself, but you had other plans.
“Your behavior is entirely inappropriate right now. Stop acting like a child.” She says in low tone, trying to keep quite so those around don’t hear.
“Oh, you want to see me act like a child?” You laugh. It takes mere seconds to down the rest of the champagne before dropping the delicate glass flute at her feet. “Oops.”
Before either of you can say another word, you feel a harsh grasp around your wrist. When you look to the side, you see none other than your sister pulling you out of murmuring circle and into a back room.
You fucked up.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” She shouts. You’ve never seen your sister so unabashed. If she’s this upset, you know you did wrong.
But it’s you. No matter how wrong you are, you’re going to try and defend yourself anyway.
“I- it’s- grandma, she-”
“No, I don’t want to hear any excuses! I specifically asked you not to do this! I’m supposed to be giving my speech in five minutes and now anything anyone is talking about is your little scene!”
“It wasn’t my plan to ruin this for you, I promise! It’s just that-”
She shakes her head, you can see just how hard she is trying to hold back the bitter tears in her eyes.
“I knew I shouldn’t have invited you. All you ever do is drink and argue. I should’ve known this would happen, especially after what happened with Jin.”
“What?”
Jin?
There’s no more attempts to defend yourself, you’re speechless. Words churn in your brain but you can’t let out any more than a gasp from your lips. Suddenly, you feel much more sober as tears prick your vision.
That memory is the last thing you want to remember.
//
“What the hell did you do with it?”You shout over your shoulder, swinging open cabinets that are only empty.
“I threw it away. All of it.” Jin says sternly, arms crossed a distance away from you. He’s had it. He can’t watch you destroy yourself like this.
For years, he’s watched you hide behind a bottle. There were times when it wasn’t so bad, like when you first started dating. But there were also times when it got the best of you, like when he first met you, back when your mother died. He’s not sure why it was getting so bad again, perhaps the stress of running the shop was getting to you, but he knew it had to stop.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shout brazenly. You were already somewhat drunk, that never helped you with your conflict resolution skills.
You walk towards him, not sure what you’re planning to do when you reach him, but it’s not going to be pretty.
“Do you not see how this has become a problem?” He asks exasperatedly. “Look at how you’re reacting!” He desperately tries to reach out for you, to hold you, to help you, but all you can see is red.
“How I’m reacting? Do you know how expensive that shit is? Of course I’m mad! And you’re accusing me of having a problem, I don’t have a problem!” You push him off of you in anger. You did have a problem, funny way of admitting it by completely denying it.
“I’m serious! If we could just talk about it-”
“What’s there to talk about?” You ask, eyeing him through blurry eyes. Your head is spinning from all the shouting and god, your body feels so numb.
Even though he towers over you, he looks so small standing in front of you. He looks sad, lost, desperate, if only you had the emotional capacity to comprehend that at the moment.
“Why do you rely on it?” His voice is soft, broken almost. “Why do you rely on it so much? Why can’t you just rely on me?”
Truthfully? Because sometimes he simply wasn’t enough.
All you ever wanted was to love someone, for someone to love you, and Seokjin was all of that and more. He loved you and cared for you despite all your flaws, all your problems. But sometimes, it just wasn’t enough. Sometimes, all the fear and all the stress and all the trauma was just too much. Too much for you to handle, too much for him to handle. Sometimes the bottle was all you had.
Your problems had a grip on you, and your vice was always the first thing there to save you. You didn’t know it would become a problem itself, but you’re past the point of no return now. Jin couldn’t help you, not in your mind. You were too far gone.
“Clearly I can’t rely on you to do shit, considering what you’ve done.” Your bitterness has completely overtaken you. You have so many thoughts, so many emotions, but they’re too hard to process in this state, it all boils down to nothing but a bitter, numb feeling in the pit of your stomach. “I can’t rely on you for shit.”
You can see the way Seokjin takes in a breath to keep himself under control. You’ve gone too far.
Like always.
“You know what? Clearly you’re not in the state to talk right now. I’m going to go. Come home when your sober.” He says, trying his best to remain cordial but you can hear the bitter poison in his words. You know he’s upset but right now, you just can’t seem to care.
“Fine. Fuck off!” You shout as he exits the shop. He doesn’t stop to make any remarks, he doesn’t even turn to look at you.
The second he walks out of the shop, you feel sick to your stomach. You lean against the counter with your eyes closed, it’s too bright inside. There are simultaneously too many things and nothing inside your head at once. You can’t hear yourself think.
What you can hear though, is the sound of a car horn slicing through the night air. Your eyes fling open and you look through the window out into the darkness beyond. You hear what sounds like the car coming to a screeching halt.
Your body moves without you thinking. A cold sweat breaks out on your skin. Why did your mind have to immediately think the worst thing? Your feet move themselves to the door, outside the shop. Nothing happened, everything is fine, you think to yourself. Why were you so worried?
The scene slowly falls into place. A Black car stopped on the road. A man standing beside it, eyes open wide in horror. And Jin. Unconscious on the ground.
You suddenly feel yourself grow sober as you drop to the ground over him. Your hands grasp his still warm face, trying to ignore the blood around him.
“Jin, wake up!” You shout, over and over and over again.
He never does.
//
A drunk driver may have hit your fiancé that night, but you will always believe it was your drunken words that drove him to his death. And you may never be able to forgive yourself for it, but you can at least try to forget. That is until now.
“Get out of here. Leave out the back so no one sees you.” You sister whispers, trying to hold back her tears.
“Gwen, please-”
“I said go!”
You know you have no choice, so for once in your life, you do as you’re told and leave.
You don’t particularly know where to go, but somehow, your feet bring you back to the place where it all began.
The shop looms over you ominously in the night. You have a love-hate relationship with her, honestly, and right now, the hate was winning. You lightly kick at the door, and instead of going inside, you crumble at the door step, knees curled up to your chest.
You allow yourself to do something you seldom ever do. You cry. You let all the thoughts, all the emotions, all the trauma spill out in streams of tears, drenching your face in snot and salt water. It felt good, you haven’t felt that kind of release in a long time.
The sound of a clicking lock doesn’t break your crying session, but a voice does.
“Sorry, bad time?” The smooth, buttery voice pulls you out of your cacophony of tears and you find Jimin the florist standing at the door of his shop with an empathetic smile on his face. Funny how at a time like this, a near stranger could make you laugh.
Usually you’d kick yourself for being so vulnerable in front of a hot guy you barely know, but at this point, you don’t really care.
“Why are you always leaving your shop so late?” You ask. Now that he was here, you suddenly didn’t want to be alone. Instead of driving him away with your emotions, you try and keep him around with questions.
“It’s the only time I can get in here to hide the dead bodies.” He whispers jokingly, making you laugh again. The juxtaposition of the sweet, beautiful Jimin being a murder, almost unfathomable. “I could ask you the same thing.” He says as he begins to approach you carefully.
You sniff as you look up at him. “Well, it seems I may be an alcoholic and my drunken escapades always end me up here, for whatever reason.” You say, trying to make light of the situation.
He gives you a warm smile, you see the moon reflecting in his dark eyes. “I’m actually growing moon flowers. They bloom at night and sometimes I like to stick around late after closing to watch them.” He admits truthfully. It sounds lovely. “Would you like to see them?” He asks suddenly.
You nod, no longer wanting to sit on the grimy street and cry any longer. He offers you a hand and helps you get up from your place, then leads you over to his shop next door.
It’s a quaint little shop, much like your own. It’s a bit worn for wear, but the flowers that adorn every inch of shop bring live and vibrancy into it. You quite like it and make a note to visit again in the future.
Jimin leads you to a corner of the shop near a window. There before you lays the most beautiful flower you’ve ever seen.
“Wow, it’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of these in person.” You whisper, as if it would collapse if you broke the delicate atmosphere around it. Something about it felt familiar though, it reminds you of something, or maybe someone.
“It’s taken a lot of work to care for it, but I don’t mind. Not when this is the result.” He says reverently. There’s a look in his eyes that reveals just how much he loves his job. It was almost as beautiful as the flower.
“Would you like some coffee, from my shop?” You ask suddenly. You don’t know what came over you, but the words slipped out before you could stop yourself.
“Coffee? In the middle of the night?” He asks with a laugh. You certainly didn’t consider the time. Your face flushes in embarrassment and you’re glad he can’t tell with the poor lighting.
Before either of you can say anymore, you hear his phone ring. He picks it up quickly and you wonder who could be calling him at this late of an hour.
“Hello?” He turns away as he answers the call, but you still hear a faint voice on the other end of the line.
You just remembered he had a girlfriend. Or some sort of lover, you didn’t really know his situation, you didn’t know him like that. But from the conversation, you did know he had someone waiting for him at home. You had no right to be with him right now.
“I’m sorry. I’ve got to go, it’s getting late.” He says as he returns to you, putting his phone back in his pocket.
You nod in understanding and the air grows silent between you for a moment.
“Thank you.” You finally say. He tilts his head in confusion. “For showing me the moon flower. It’s really pretty.” And for sticking around with you for the night, even if it was only for ten minutes.
“Anytime.” He says with a sweet smile as he leads the two of you back out of the shop. “Goodnight.” You wave and he turns of in the direction of home, wherever that is for him.
You decide that maybe you should head home as well.
When you return home, you suddenly feel the weight of your actions droop upon your shoulders. You slump into a chair at your dining table and sigh as you think over your actions of the night. Why did you do that? Why were you like this? Your eyes drift around the room as a feeling of hopelessness sets in. You were beyond repair.
Or maybe not.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a crumbled up envelope on the floor. You pick it up and open it, revealing the gift your father gave you for Christmas weeks ago.
Maybe his gift wasn’t so bad after all.
//
You sit awkwardly across for the old woman, her eyes are glued to the note book before, she seems deep in thought. Was it too late to exchange the free session coupon for cash and get the hell out of here?
“So, your fiancé. Tell me more about that.”
So the second you walked into her office, you were eager to get the whole death of Seokjin off of your chest. You already told her how you feel like it’s your fault, and how instead of ending your drinking habits, it made it worse. What else was there to say.
“Well. To be honest, I’m terrified of the thought of forgetting about him. I’m scared that if I ever fall in love with someone else, I’ll forget the love I have for him. So instead I just flirt and sleep around satiate the craving I have for love without completely taking away the love I have for him.”
Wow. You didn’t even realize you had that one buried inside.
“Love is not limited.” The therapist says simply. “Just because you love someone else doesn’t mean you deplete your love for another. It’s not that simple. He was a part of your life for a long time, correct?”
“Ten years.”
She nods. “And you loved him for all that time?”
You think about it for a moment. The first thought you have is no, of course not. You didn’t start dating until two years into your friendship, and even then you didn’t ever say you loved him until much later on. But he was always there for you. At the ripe age of 18, mere weeks into your acquaintanceship, Seokjin was comforting you over the death of your mother. Maybe you didn’t love him like a lover until years later, but you loved him nonetheless.
“Yes.” You answer finally.
“How do you simply forget a love that lasts that long?”
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