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#‘i found your pet’ ‘oh there you are perry’
whaleiumsharkspeare · 2 years
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Every time I innocently inquire about where my dog and cat are, I instantly turn into literally any Phineas and Ferb character wondering where Perry is
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starandcloud · 6 months
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Being Hunted By Natasha Romanoff
Tag, you’re it - Melanie Martez
Wheels on the buss - Melanie Martez
Hey Kids - Morning Late
I can’t decide - Scissor sisters
My Boy - Billie Eilish
Just a Fan - Roar
Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez
Psycho - Mia Rodriguez
CHOKE - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me
Pumped up Kicks- Foster The People
Sorry Sorry - Kiako
Oh Ana - Mother Mother
Yandere - Jazmin Bean
Paparizza - Lady Gaga
Nowhere To Run - Stegosaurus Rex
I love you, I love you - Jun Togaw
Meant to be yours
Hayloft - Mother Mother
Run Rabbit Run - Hanagan & Allen
Wires - The Neighborhood
Who Is She - I Monster
This Hurts - MSI
Runs in the family - Amanda Palmer
Hatef–k - The Bravery
Hushh - Aviva
Puppet loosely strung - The correspondents
We’ll meet again - She & Him
After Dark - Mr. Kitty
Daddy issues - The Neighbourhood
All The Good Girls Go To Hell - - Billie Eilish
Sick thoughts- Lewis Blissett
Grind me down- Lilianna Wilde
Mad hatter - Meline Martez
Stalker’s Tango - Autoheart
Super Psycho Love - Simon Cutris
Bloody Mary - Lady Gaga
Honey, I’m home - Ghost and Pals
This Is Love - Air traffic Control
Habits - Our Last Night
Animal - Chase Holfelder
Sarcasm - Get Scared
Flesh - Simon Curist
Cry Baby - American Avenue
Another Way out- Hollywood Undead
Little Game - Benny
Killer In The Mirror - Set It Off
Crazy = Genius - Panic! At The Dicso
Freak - Suburban
Exocism - Lollia CreepP
Whisper - Burn The Ballroom
Livin’ La Vida Loco - Patent Pending
Middle of Night - Elly Dune
Miss Wanna Die - Judy Phonic
Happy Face - Jagar Twin
Boyfriend - Dove Cameron
Teacher’s pet - Melanie Martez
Fan Behavior - Issac Dunbar
Villain - K/DA
Cannibal - Ke$ha
Sex, Drugs, Etc - Beach Weather
Killing Butterflies - Lewis Blisset
Black Sea - Natasha Blume
Angels Don’t Cry - Ellise
Sharks - Imagine Dragons
Crazy in love - Daniel De Bourg
Crazy in Love - Eden Project
I Want it all - Cameron Grey
Darkside - Neoni
Yes & No - XYLO
All the things she said - Poppy
Hate me - Nico Collins
Borderline - Nico Collins
Siren - Kailee Morgue
Little girl gone - El Chinchila
If I Kill Someone For You - Alec Benjamin
Blood//Water - Grandson
Rock Bottom - Grandson
BackStabber - Ke$ha
Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift
Bad Blood - Taylor Swift
Lose Yourself - Eminem
Side to Side- Ariana Grande
Touch it - Arianna Grande
Part of Me- Katy Perry
I gotta feeling - Black Eyed Peas
Someone told me -The Killers
Maniac - Conan Grey
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bgallen · 9 months
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Pink grasshoppers, reading children's books, Six Triple Eight, and more...a Friday List
Happy Friday!
I hope that you have had an enjoyable week with hopefully decent weather. I know that in many places this week the weather has been devastating. I have compiled a list for you to enjoy and as always I hope that you find one or two things to enjoy. I have also added some podcasts that I have been enjoying as well as a new to me book that I’ve begun.
 May your weekend be one of rest, activity, joy, and calm – whatever it is that you need in this moment.
 ·       Why adults should read children's books - BBC Culture, “So it's to children's fiction that you turn if you want to feel awe and hunger and longing for justice: to make the old warhorse heart stamp again in its stall.”
 ·       Texas Author Reunites with TikToker Who Made Him Bestseller (people.com), what a neat story!
 ·       The Pink grasshopper - Erythrism (roeselienraimond.com), oh my I have never seen one of these and didn’t know it was possible for them to be pink. It would seem more likely to find one of these in Alice in Wonderland than out and about in real life. Here’s another beautiful one, Anglesey: Rare pink grasshopper spotted in garden - BBC News
 ·       Six Triple Eight: The battalion of black women erased from history - BBC News, how incredible! Such an impressive accomplishment and I am so glad they are finally being recognized as they should have been. Tyler Perry is currently filming a Netflix film about them with Kerry Washington starring as well as producing in it.
 ·       Sounds of Motown (A cappella Medley) - Kings Return - YouTube, I really enjoy Kings Return…harmonizing is impeccable and covering Motown?! Even better.
 ·       DREAMIN' WILD Trailer (2023) Casey Affleck - YouTube, this looks to be a really great film.
 ·       Tiny Octopus Gets So Excited When His Diver Friend Comes To Visit Him | The Dodo - YouTube, oh my goodness – this is the sweetest little mollusc (yes I did have to google that.) I am always fascinated when animals interact with humans that aren’t animals that we keep as pets.
 ·       Elizabeth Cotten - In the Sweet By and By - YouTube, Learned something new today…”cotten picking” was created by Elizabeth. She was left-handed so she played her right-handed guitar upside down, which apparently is not the easiest thing to do.
 ·       Woodland (2020) – Sarah Anne Johnson, I saw Sarah Anne’s art on a house tour on youtube and fell in love with this Woodland series that she has. This is what she has to say about the series, “ I then transformed the photographs with paint, metal leaf, holographic tape, photo-spotting ink, and photoshop to create a more honest image that reflects my personal experience with the landscape.” I once had a friend tell me how she edited her photos so beautifully and she said the same thing as Sarah Anne, she edits the photo to appear in the photo as her own eyes and mind experienced it in person.  
 Podcasts I’ve been binging:
·       Lionsgate Sound | Scamanda, this is an incredible story….that I can’t quite wrap my mind around. I have found that I prefer podcasts that are hosted/created by journalists. Charlie Webster did a great job researching this story along with her team and the original investigative journalist that began the work and then she does an excellent job telling the story.
·       Betrayal on Apple Podcasts, another well done podcast. Heavier material than Scamanda, well it’s a different sort of heavy. Depending on how you handle things, you may want to read up on it before you listen. Both seasons so far have been so well done. The first season is now a documentary on Hulu.
·       Huberman Lab, I just began this one today. In the episode I began listening to today, Dr. Malenka is on it discussing how the brain changes in response to learning and reward and reinforcement. Fascinating and exciting stuff!  
New book:
·       Operation Barbarossa - Jonathan Dimbleby - Oxford University Press (oup.com), the largest military operation of all time – the invasion of Russia by Germany in 1941.  
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alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year
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246 of 2023
Are you unemployed?
No, I’ve been having a job for the last 9 years and counting.
When’s the last time you received a letter in the mail?
Yesterday The bill from the labour union lol.
Do you even write letters to people?
No, just emails.
Have you ever driven a Honda?
No, my cousin had a Honda before, but he crashed it.
What color do you want your dream car to be?
Black, just as ours.
Finish the sentence: Taylor Lautner is…
...a person, who else?
Do you have more then one favorite band?
Yeah, I have a few. But I rather like songs than bands.
Do you like The Band Perry?
Never heard of it.
You can kill one person & get away with it; who?
This question is so fucked up that I’m not even gonna answer this.
If you could be a supernatural creature, what would you choose to be?
None, thanks.
Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
I have no preference, but since the relationship has happened, I do my best to take care of it. We’re happy together.
How long until you’re 50 years old?
17 years.
Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow?
No, I would be actually happy.
Do you usually hide your true feelings from others?
Most of the time. I rarely open up IRL.
Do you pronounce the ” t ” in often?
Yeah. Better ask me if I pronounce “h” in my dialect.
Are you capable of running 2 miles without stopping?
No. I was once paralysed.
Do you lick the roof of your mouth often?
What?
Did you do it just now?
No.
Most unattractive male name, in your opinion?
I don’t know, Derek? Or all the boring names like Adam.
Do you watch the show THE BIG BANG THEORY?
Yeah, I love it. It’s so stupid that it’s actually funny.
Are you exhausted?
Not today, I’m just slightly tired.
Finish the lyrics: I’m a barbie girl in a barbie world. Life in plastic…
Fuck off.
Are you a fan of reality tv shows?
Not a fan, but sometimes I watch them for lolz.
Have you visited amirite.com?
Never heard of it.
Is your pet dog male or female?
I don’t have any dog. I only have two cat ladies.
When you’re single are you mostly lonely or content?
Such things don’t really matter to me, so I’m not overthinking it.
Have you or would you try shark meat?
I’ve tried, didn’t like it.
Do you know anyone that’s pescatarian?
No. But I’m somewhat related, I guess my diet is called “pollotarian” because I’m like a vegetarian who allows chicken in his diet.
Are you shy or over confident around your crushes?
Very shy, but I cover it with some confidence. Very strange, I know.
Do you drink skim milk?
No. It’s like coloured water, so tasteless. Whole milk or don’t waste my time.
Did you know everything causes cancer these days?
Oh, really?
Do you think the govt has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public?
*taps his forehead* conspiracy theories, be like.
Last time you drank a diet soda?
Never. Diet soda, what an oxymoron.
Do you need to urinate?
Yeah, now I feel it.
Do you usually brush your teeth every night?
Yeah, I do.
Do ppl normally describe you as sexy?
No, they rather describe me as cool. Although there were some people who found me exceptionally hot.
Were you really nervous at some point today?
No, my antidepressants finally kicked in and I’m not anxious anymore.
Do you have a Mexican friend?
Not a friend, but one of my classmates in uni was Mexican.
Have you ever dated an Australian?
Never.
Do you think you’re fit to be a Victoria Secret model?
Do they even hire guys?
Is mostly everyone you know in a relationship?
Most of people I hang out are married.
Are both of your biological parents still alive?
Yes, thankfully.
Was your ex born in America?
No, he’s Dutch.
Are most of your jokes funny or lame?
So lame they’re actually funny lol. I make people laugh, some call me a natural entertainer.
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zymple · 3 years
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crossover au concept: doofenshmirtz goes to france and teams up with hawkmoth as “the local villain”. he puts a self destruct button on the elevator (bc ofc he does). when it inevitably gets pressed and reveals everything adrien looks down at them in shock and doof’s like
“wait wait wait. your son doesn’t know??”
“…there was never a good time to tell him—“
“you spend all day in here! when do you spend time with him!”
“he’ll understand when he gets his mother back”
“you’re saying you left your mourning son alone for the past year!? i get we’re evil but that’s just cruel!”
“you wouldn’t understand—“
“you’re right! i don’t! my daughter takes full priority over my villainy!”
“but i can’t rest until i get her back”
“…you really need to find a better work/life balance, sheesh”
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teddy06writes · 2 years
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A Quiet Moment
Requested: no {pls give dps requests}
Neil Perry x reader
trigger warnings: none
premise: It's been a long semester, and you can't wait till winter break, unfortunately, there's still some time to go. Even when it seems like a million years away, Neil is always there to cheer you up
{based on how I felt Tuesday before break started, and essentially what I wish I could have, but alas... loneliness}
{also also based on the fact that I had to correct my APUSH teacher about the confederate flag, cause that is one of my biggest pet peeve}
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your leg bounced incessantly as you worked through your history notes, re-copying your messy notes into a more legible format.
These new advanced placement classes were killing you, you were sure of it.
The student lounge was practically empty aside from yourself, Todd, and Cameron, who was rushing to finish an English assignment.
You copied down the last few words on the succession of the south, and shut your notebook, sighing with relief as you found it to be the last thing you had to do for the night.
Quickly, you shoved your notebooks and books back into your bag with shaky hands.
You were nearly out the door when Cameron called your name, "Hey- (y/n) wait a second."
"Yeah?" You asked, moving back toward his table.
"I was just wondering- why'd you correct Mr. Peirce today?"
You frowned, the twitch in your hands growing, "He- uh- he was wrong. Teachers shouldn't be teaching wrong information."
"How'd you know that though?"
"Read it somewhere," You shrugged, forcing a laugh, "You'd think a government funded class program would be able to do better."
He laughed, and you nodded, quickly making your escape out of the lounge and up the stairs towards the dorms. After dropping your bag onto your bed, you found yourself shuffling into Neil's and flopping down onto his bed.
Your boyfriend chuckled, closing his book, "How was your day? You alright, love?"
You sighed, staring up at the cracked ceiling.
"That bad, huh?" He asked, turning to face the bed properly.
You nodded, looking at him and sighing, "Can you come crush my soul back into my body?"
Neil smiled, standing up and pushing his desk chair back before coming over and laying on top of you, tucking his face into the crook of your neck, "You wanna talk about it?"
You sighed yet again, wrapping your arms around his waist, "I'm ready for school to be done."
"Yeah?"
"They just keep piling on everything, and I have so much to do before break," You hummed, "And I had to correct Mr. Peirce, about the confederate flag, and everyone was looking at me weird. And Mr. Peirce looked like he was about to scream, but I had to correct him."
"The AP history teacher?" He asked.
"Yeah... he comes in with his fancy slides, and pictures of the civil war, and he says 'oh this is the stars and bars it was the confederate flag', and I raised my hand and explained that it wasn't, and everyone was looking at me weird."
Neil listened as you continued to ramble, shifting to look at you with a far away look in his eyes, "God, you are so damn smart..."
Your face began to heat up, and he chuckled, tucking his face back into your neck, "I mean it. They oughta put you in charge of history classes or something."
"Shut up..." You mumbled.
The dorm fell quiet, filled with the sound of soft breathing, and muffled talking and laughing from the other dorms. You let your eyes fall shut, relaxing into the moment, and moving to run your fingers through Neil's hair.
Sometime later, when Todd returned to the dorm, he found you both asleep, your fingers still buried in Neil's hair.
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wannabemobwife · 3 years
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Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas - Chapter 17
Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water
Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader
-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield, Rosie Holland x Linus Perry
-Warnings: References to sex, language, typos, sad thoughts, attempted suicide, vomiting
-Words: 4.4K
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A/n: Thank you so mucg guys with all the live support. Finally done, yay, with part 1
Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water
Words: 4.4K
Four years had passed and Rosie was the only one to stick around. Everything had changed. You and Tom were currently on your trip around the world. Traveling everywhere from Cuba to Greece. Taking in sights of the world.
Embarking on journey covering 3 continents and 10 countries so far. You had already visited the Taj Mahal in India, the Amalfi Coast for some sun, and Iceland just for the blue lagoon hot springs. You and Tom were having the time of your lives, it being the perfect distraction from everything back home.
Rosie was running the mob along with her new right hand and consigliere, Linus. Rosie had been taking on the mantle as the new leader of the Holland mob. Picking up where Parker left off. Trying to do him justice. Tom had helped her learn the ropes but she always had that fiery personality desired for a mob persona.
After four years, Rosie learned to embrace her grief instead of shoving it away, she began to visit Parker’s grave more and more. Tried to every week, but life got in the way. She would bring a new set of flowers to freshen up the old ones.
She knew today would be especially hard, every year it was impossible. Rosie could barely get through the day. Today was her 20th birthday, marking 4 years of celebrating without Parker.
Rosie and Henry’s relationship had grown into one full of misery. Trapped in a loveless relationship, but he was still her best friend. With just one look he would know what she was thinking.
Over the past couple years, Henry has been so obsessed with keeping her safe that it was driving her mad. Rosie understood that Henry didn’t want to lose her like he lost Parker, but Rosie ran a mob and danger followed her everywhere. They started drifting apart when everything happened with the Holland family, creating unfixable cracks in their foundation.
Lately, Rosie had been feeling someone watching her every move. Following her whenever she would be downtown. Feeling a presence she hasn’t felt in a while. Constantly shivering in fear, feeling as though she was observed. From then on, every move she made was calculated and thought out.
When Rosie first took on the mantle, she cleaned house. Eliminating those whose loyalty would always lie with Tom. Trying to affirm the fact that she was so much more than just Tom’s daughter. She had let William go and few others because she brought in Linus.
Even after starting her new regime, things have been a bit off, lately. She hasn’t been sleeping through the night. She’d jolt out of sleep, drenched in a cold sweat. Henry would be startled awake as well by her movement as move to comfort her.
“Roo, you okay?” Henry asked groggily, yawning a bit. Rosie gasping to catch her breath. Her dreams were supposed to be an escape but now they were doing more harm than good. “I don’t know. I keep having these dreams about Parker. Like he was trying to tell me something,” Rosie said, gathering her bearings. It wasn’t everyday she was visited by her deceased twin brother. “From beyond the grave?…Rosie, he’s gone,” Henry pondered. “I know, I just can’t shake this feeling. That he is… he’s.”
“What? Still alive? Honey, we buried him. You cried over him. If he was still alive don’t you think we would’ve shown his face by now. Wilson and Carter are gone, they have been for awhile now,” Henry explained, hoping it would bring her some solace. Henry wasn’t blind to the change in her demeanor, she did open up to him about being followed everywhere she went. “I guess you’re right. But my dreams feel so real,” Rosie whispered, lying back down. Ready to drift off into a deep sleep. One not tainted by the memory of Parker. “Go, back to sleep baby.” Henry said, he knew they would be getting up in a few hours anyway. Tomorrow was a very big day. Henry knew he and Rosie had been drifting but he was all set to give her the best birthday ever.
Henry had bought tickets for you and Tom to fly in for her birthday and stay for awhile. This time of year was hard for all of you but it wasn’t fair to Rosie. The day that is supposed to be about her has always been shared but now no one dared acknowledge it. It was just a reminder of what had been lost.
“Good morning, beautiful. Happy birthday,” Henry whispered, peppering her face in kisses as the morning sun shone through the curtains.
“Thank you,” Rosie sighed. Every year was a challenge. It got a little better every year but she knew she would never fully accept his absence.
“What do you have planned today?” Henry inquired, he was always one for big gestures. He absolutely hated that she no longer enjoyed her birthday.
As a kid she loved the idea of turning a year older, getting to grow up and getting loads of presents of course. You always made the priority of throwing the most perfect themed parties for Rosie and Parker. One year they had a pirate themed pool party with a treasure hunt and another a circus/carnival theme with fair games and a petting zoo. You loved going all out for their birthday. Just spoiling them in general.
Rosie and Parker, also Tom, can’t forget about him, made life worth living. You and Tom did everything for your kids, never wanting them to feel an ounce of sadness.
But the times had changed, you were no longer the mother to a son. It was just Rosie and you thanked God everyday that she was still there but your heart will forever be scarred.
Scars take forever to heal, sometimes never. There will never be a day when you don’t miss Parker or he doesn’t cross your mind. Everything you did from the moment he died was for him, in one way or another. You knew the grief would never stop but you hoped Rosie would one day be able to move on with life.
“You know…” Rosie murmured. “Oh yeah, say hi for me,” Henry nodded along remembering Rosie was going to spend the day next to her better half, Parker.
Rosie proceeded to get dressed and ready for the day. She wore a tight grey dress showing off the perfect curves of her body. And a pair of black high heels to complete her power woman ensemble. “Henry, you aren’t throwing me a party right? I really don’t want one,” Rosie inquired. Rosie would prefer to have all birthdays pass and wash away but she knew Henry wouldn’t allow that. At the most she would have a nice dinner with him and watch a movie.
“You’ll just wait to find out,” Henry grinned cheekily. In reality he was throwing her surprise party to help her find the joy in her birthday again.
“Henry seriously, not this year,” Rosie announced. “It’s never any year. You haven’t celebrated in 3 years. You need to get over this.”
“Get over what? The death of my twin brother?” Rosie asked, astounded at Henry’s previous statement. The nerve he had, wow.
“Roo, I’m sorry,” Henry tried to apologize but Rosie left in a huff.
“Talk later, Linus is waiting for me,” Rosie yelled, already walking out of the room. “Linus, you ready to go?” Rosie said, as she found him drinking coffee in her kitchen. He sat at the bar, legs dangling off the chair as she came down. “Yes, Roo,” he said, a little out of breath from taking the awe of her beauty.
“Please don’t call me that around Henry… What’s on the agenda?” Rosie asked Linus as she poured herself her own cup of coffee.
“Well, Shaw owes you 3 million and the deadline you gave him expired,” Linus explained, he knew Rosie hated having things held over her head. She would prefer to get them out of the way as soon as possible.
“Well then, let’s go pay him a visit. I could use a drink. Afterwards, can you drop me off at the cemetery?” “Of course, Roo,” Linus said. Rosie huffed in response, rolling her eyes at the name. Linus loved to get a rise out of Rosie. Her remarks to his comments were just a sign of their playful banter.Rosie’s relationship with Linus was complicated. They were partners, most of the time.
Rosie had gone really dark over the past years. There were days where she refused to get out of bed. Sitting in bed wasting the entire day away. Henry would come home from work and try his best to comfort her but after Parker he was just as lost as her. They lived in the same house but not truly together. Not as lovers, maybe as roommates.
All Rosie could feel were thoughts of hopelessness, desolation, and misery. Never being able to find that light at the end of the tunnel. She didn’t deserve to find it, thinking she was the one who pushed you and Tom away. Blaming herself for Parker. All these feelings and Henry wasn’t there, too busy with his own life.
One day, Rosie had gotten real low. Couldn’t find a way out so she went to the gun room grabbed the closest pistol, a bottle of scotch, a glass and sat in Tom’s office. She rested on Tom’s chair trying to find the will to end it all. To point the pistol and pull the trigger.
It would be so easy, the flick of a finger. No more pain. She tried not to think about everything she was giving up. Never seeing you or Tom again, or Henry. Never loving him again, if they ever did manage to find their way back to each others arms. Never experiencing the things that made life worth living.
All her thoughts were halted as Linus barged in. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the broken girl hold a gun unto her temple, its safety clicked off. The room was cold as an icy chill ran down his spine.
“Rosie, what are you doing!?!” Linus thundered, trying to stop her before she pulled the trigger. “I don’t know. I think I’m trying to end it all,” Rosie whispered as tears streamed down her face. Deep down she didn’t want to pull the trigger, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
“End what all? Your life?” Linus asked, trying to talk her off the metaphorical ledge. Something had to happen that pushed her to this point. Rosie had to be drowning and calling out for help but no one came. “No, it was never about killing myself. It was just about ending the pain and suffering,” she cried.
“Rosie, listen to me. There is so much more you have to live for. This will pass. Think about everything you are giving up.” Linus tried to appeal to the people she loved, you, Tom, and Henry. Losing Rosie would no longer make you a mother. How could Rosie take that away from you?
“I already have and it hasn’t, for 2 years. How do you know it will get any better?” Rosie begged for a true answer. She had been slumping around, letting the days pass her by as she stood silent, screaming non-vocally for help. Trapped in an asylum of misery. “I don’t. But I’ll be there to help you,” Linus exclaimed, giving her the truthful response she wanted. Rosie just needed to hear that she wasn’t alone in this world anymore. “No, you won’t. You’ll just leave like everyone else. Henry doesn’t love me anymore. My parents left. I’m all alone.” “Roo, you aren’t alone. Just hand me the gun and we can work this out. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here,” Linus pleaded. That was the first time he had used that nickname. The name had been reserved for only Henry, Parker and you. In that moment Rosie saw someone she missed so dearly in Linus, Parker. Parker was the only person who was 100% there for her. He was there to talk her off the ledge. He was there at her weakest and in a split second he was standing in front of her.
Rosie gave in, removing the gun from her temple, clicking the safety one and handing it over. She slowly stood up, coming over to Linus and collapsed in his arms. Rosie whispered a small “I missed you” as he held the broken girl. He was the only one who could pull her out. Not Henry, god she wished it was Henry. Linus understood her pain and didn’t try to fix everything.
Henry was the opposite. Constantly worrying about Rosie and trying to find a solution for everything. Things from the slightest backache to feelings of hopelessness. Rosie didn’t need fixing she just needed to be heard and Linus made sure she was. At Harmon’s, the bar was quite empty. Just Shaw and a few of his men. Shaw has borrowed money from Rosie to clear of a few charges. The Holland name had some pull in the legal community. Dating back to Dom’s days but Tom mostly laid down roots.
Linus entered first, firing two shots to take out Shaw’s capos. “Jesus Christ,” yelled Shaw as his protection thudded against the floor.
Rosie followed Linus in, making her presence known, “Shaw, you know I’m not a fan of people not staying true to their word. Do you have my money?”
“Rosie, doll. I paid you in full already. If this just your sad attempt to stir something up we can work this out another time. Shoo, let me finish my drink,” Shaw snickered. “Shaw, I know your games. You have 3 minutes to transfer my money right now. One for each million. I have Linus checking for a deposit of 3 million, make this simple and do it,” Rosie stated with an unchanging expression. “I need more time, that’s not enough. It’s all in separate accounts,” Shaw asserted, his voice starting to waver as he stared down the barrel of her pistol. “Well then, I’d hurry if I were you. Here’s your phone. Just wire the money… Starting now,” Rosie exclaimed as Linus devoted his stare to watch. Glancing at the seconds tick away.
“Fine, I’m going,” Shaw screamed, about to crack under the pressure.
“2 minutes left,” Linus chimed in. “Okay, I’m just inputing the dollar amount, it’s a lot of zeros.” Shaw tried to explain. He was about to lose his life because he was slow.
“50 secs.”
“I’m going, I’m going.”
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6—“
“I’m done,” Shaw said, letting out the breath he was holding.
“That was fast but not fast enough,” Rosie whispered raising her gun square to the back of his head. Her finger slipped to the trigger and fired a shot.
BANG
“Wow, I didn’t think you actually kill him,” Linus said, impressed by her ruthlessness.
“He was getting on my nerves, besides he will never borrow money from me again if he is dead,” Rosie chuckled. “You know I found that really hot,” Linus whispered in her ear. “You always do.” Rosie grinned at his advances, trying to pull her close to his chest. “Hey, this can’t keep happening.”
“Oh, come on. You say that every time. I can’t hide my feelings for you anymore.”
“Well, you are going to have to. I was clear about what this was. So I’m going to ask you this once more time, what do you want?” “I want you.” “Well you can have me in the bathroom in 2 minutes.” “Roo, you’re too good to me,” Linus smirked, following her as she glided to the restroom.
Everything lasted about 30 mins. They were in and out in a flash. The bar now smelled of sex and a dead bodies. Linus was the first to finish, coming out of the bathroom looking disheveled as hell. Sporting the same juts had a quickie look. Linus went to pull the car around after fixing his hair in the mirror.
Linus would never be Henry and that was a good thing, Linus was different. By no circumstances was Rosie in love with Linus or will ever be in love with him, he was merely a distraction. Rosie knew her relationship with him was wrong but he made her feel alive once more.
Rosie emerged from bathroom breathing heavy, almost gasping for air, with sweat glistening on her chest. She straightened out her dress as combed down her hair. Stepping out of the doorway, the smell of a fresh rotting body hit her.
Rosie immediately turned around and lunged for the toilet. She had been in the business for 3 years and never before had her body reacted this way. She hurled into the toilet for a good ten minutes. Eventually bringing her head out of the toilet bowl to wipe off her mouth. The air was now coupled with sex, dead bodies and vomit. She was clueless to what forced her to keep her head in a toilet bowl.
After her nausea spell passed her, she had Linus drop her off near the cemetery. “Oh, you can drop me off here. I need something from the pharmacy anyways,”Rosie informed Linus. She was planning on picking up something for her stomach, it was very unlikely for her to throw up suddenly.
“Ok, Roo. Do you need a ride home?” Linus questioned.
“No, Jared is supposed to pick me up. Thank you,” Rosie exclaimed, getting out of the car. “Alright. Happy birthday by the way. Can I have a kiss goodbye?” “Thank you and no. I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah for the party,” Linus called out slowly driving away. “Wait! What did you say?” Rosie remarked but he was already long gone.
Rosie was mentally kicking herself, she didn’t have the willpower to deal with a party tonight. She specifically told Henry, not to throw one but since when did he listen to her.
Their road to ultimately heartbreak was a two way street. Both of them had done something to warrant the loveless relationship. Rosie admitted to herself, that she eventually did stop trying. She stopped constantly asking if Henry wanted to go out for dinner and what time he would be home. Rosie prefers to blame Henry but in reality, she was then one who let go first.
Rosie stopped showing him love, too distraught by his every move because it was a constant reminder her brother wasn’t there anymore. Henry would try to work him into every little conversation, remembering Parker in everything. It grew too much for Rosie. Rosie had never been one for confronting her feelings, preferring to shove them down but how could she, when Henry would never shut up about Parker.
Parker was the main reason a wedge had been driven between them, but she wouldn’t dream of blaming her dead brother. Who couldn’t even defend himself. Rosie needed a reset after Parker but Henry was stuck living in the past.
Rosie was ready to start her life with Henry after graduation but he couldn’t let go. After a while, Rosie became just like him. Stuck drifting into a void of pure sadness. Rosie couldn’t let go, along with Henry. Their lives went in different directions, Rosie was blossoming into a ruthless leader who would only act soft around Parker, vowing to visit his grave everyday. And Henry got left behind at some point, not seeing how he fit in her life anymore.
In the pharmacy she scanned the aisles for some sort of quick remedy. If Henry was throwing her a surprise party, one she specifically asked not for. Rosie didn’t have days to recuperate, maybe a few hours.
She found the largest bottle of Pepto-Bismol and stopped by the card aisle. Carefully grasping a birthday card for her favorite person. One that was funny yet endearing. Parker was addicted to all the corned jokes she would crack. She made her way to the register. In front of her stood a little old woman, she wore a purple floral dress and her white stained hair was pulled into a clip.
“Just this for you sweetie? Oh, who’s birthday is it?” Asked the little lady, referring to the birthday card Rosie grabbed for Parker.
“My brother’s and um, could I also get this,” Rosie responded as her eyes glanced below her. Skimming over the candy bars, gum packets and eventually landing on a pregnancy test. Come to think of it, Rosie was late about a week and a half.
“Of course, honey. Would you like to use the restroom?” Queried the lady. Rosie nodded in response. She finished paying and quickly made her way to the restroom. Following the directions on the box carefully, she needed to be a hundred percent sure, before she told anyone.
Right around the corner was the cemetery. She glided through iron gates, walking across the cobble stone path before she came upon the place she loved most in the world. The place where she would hold nothing back, spilling everything to him.
Life of a mob boss was dangerous but things started to seem eerie for Rosie. She would feel weird presences or someone watching her at eerie times. The same feeling plagued her at the cemetery, today. She knelt down to the headstone, engraved in it read “Here Lies Parker Jackson Holland, Taken from us too soon, a son, a brother, and a friend.”
“Hey, P. You probably get tired of me visiting you. Everyday I’m here and sometimes I think I do it for my benefit more than yours. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy and most likely you are with Charlotte. I’m happy for you, Parker. No matter how much I wish you were here with me, I know that you are happy that you escaped this life. Happy 20th birthday.” Rosie whispered, fixing the flowers that began to wilt from yesterday.
“I have some really amazing news to share with you, but it will have to wait till next time. You can’t be the first person I tell, I’m sorry. He deserves to know before you…. Oh my god, you’ll never believe what happened at work…”
This is the one thing that brought Rosie solace. She persistently blames herself for that fateful night 3 years ago. Rosie would spend hours kneeling next to his headstone. She would tell him about her life and read off the postcards you and Tom sent from your travels. Talking to him as if he was still there.
Rosie glanced at her watch, it was half past five and she hadn’t even called Jared yet to pick her up. “I’m sorry P, I gotta go. Henry, god love him but, that bastard is throwing me a birthday party. I guess I should at least make an appearance. I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you.” Rosie said, walking towards the parking lot.
She stood under the gate for ten minutes waiting for Jared to arrive and escort her home. The weather completely shifted as the sun set around her. The once blue sky changed to one painted with vibrant yellows and pinks. The sky was a sight not to be missed but she could do without the freezing winds that accompanied.
A chill ran down her spine as she waited in the darkness. Feeling a sensation that only warranted panic. Rosie felt someone watching her once again. Maybe from a far or up close, but she definitely wasn’t alone. It was silly that she let feelings like those get to her. She was a mob boss for god sakes, scaring even the most menacing of men into submission.
Rosie eyes started darting everywhere a noise left. In the corner of her eye she caught a figure drenched in shadows approaching. She tried to scramble for her gun, but soon realized she left it in Linus’s car.
The stranger kept making advances and managed to get to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a cloth to her mouth. Causing her to be consumed in darkness as her body grew limp.
Back at the manor, Henry was setting everything up perfectly. His mission was to make Rosie love her birthday once more. While Henry was working hard at hanging the birthday banner and decorating every corner with balloons, Linus was no help at all. Lounging on the couch and finishing a beer.
“So are you going to pick up Rosie and get off your ass?” Henry barked, pulling the coffee out from under Linus, causing him to spill his beer.
“Seriously, dude. What’s your problem?” Linus snapped.
“My problem is my girlfriend isn’t here. Aren’t you supposed to pick her up?” “No, Jared is.” “Linus, Jared is here. He has been for a few hours. Where is she?” Henry questioned, starting to worry. “I don’t know. Last, I left her at the cemetery.” “Henry! It’s so good to see you,” you cheered as Tom and you walked in. Hugging Henry after not seeing him for awhile. It still pained you to visit, traveling was the perfect distraction.
“Hope you have been taking care of yourself, son. Where’s Rosie?” Tom questioned. “Yeah, I’ve been good. At the moment, I don’t know where she is. She’s missing,” Henry concluded. You and Tom stood completely still as you processed the news. It wasn’t everyday that your daughter would disappear into thin air, but her job did keep her life in danger.Rosie missing was uncommon. It had happened once or twice in the past but that was 3 years ago. So much had changed, for the better. Yet, you were once again in the same place, in the house you left because everything was too familiar. Rosie missing was all too familiar.
Rosie came to. Opening her eyes to a place she chose to forget. For all she knew it was an exact replica. Warehouses riddled all of London’s ports, she could be anywhere.
“Text your driver and tell him Henry picked you up for a special birthday dinner,” Rosie’s kidnapper barked, thrusting a phone in front of her.
“Really? You kidnapped me? After 3 years of being leader of London’s most feared mob, it’s like been there done that. Do you want money or something? I have a party to get to.” Rosie quipped, annoyed with they man’s pursuits.
“Oh, I know. I believe happy birthday is granted. 20 years is a milestone.”
“Whatever, I don’t really like my birthday anyway.”
“Wanna talk about it?” The stranger pestered on. Rosie had learned lesson from the last time she was restrained to chair, rope around her wrists and ankles, ceasing blood flow. This time it was zip ties, a little basic for any mobster she has had a run with.
“No. I want you to let me go. Seriously, what do you want? I don’t think you know who I am. Or who my father is,” Rosie asserted.
“A moment alone together is all I ask and I know exactly who you are and who your dad is. Correction, who our dad is.”
“Parker.”
A/n: Finally the end. Alright, I'm going to bed. There is no set schedule for the sequel series, I'm just going to post a chapter when I finish writing it. Let me know if you like to be tagged in the sequel chapters.
Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas Masterlist
Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort @bi-lmg @allthisfortommy @quaksonhehe @housepartyprotocol
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jonspurpleskirt · 3 years
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Perks of Beholding
Summary: Jon gets distracted from paranoia by learning he can now understand animals. This somehow solves all their problems. Or: Jon turns into a Disney princess the fic.
No Warnings apply. It’s just fluff. Heavily inspired by this lovely TMA comic:  ___
It started with the Admiral. Jon was about to read the first statement his mysterious benefactor had sent when he heard a small "Jon!" from the kitchen. It had a strange, rumbling undertone to it and sounded as though a human was trying to imitate a cat.
Jon startled so hard at the unfamiliar voice that he send the papers he had in his hands flying. Instinctively grabbing the tape recorder he sprung up.
"Who's there!"
The Admiral came out of the kitchen, rubbing against the doorframe and purring. "Jon! It's time for a midday snack."
Jon blinked hard, wondering if he had lost his mind entirely, while a much louder voice was screeching in delight.
"Admiral! I can understand you!"
"Give me food Jon, I beg of you. I'm famished."
The Admiral jumped up on his lap, claws snagging on the worm hole riddled arm. It should have already been healed, but Jon continued picking on it.
"Ah..ha. Careful please. I'm damaged goods."
"My apologies. Now food and then cuddles? I crave attention."
Statement forgotten Jon spend the rest of the afternoon debating with Georgies cat about the pros and cons of feeding the Admiral without Georgies consent, sneaking snacks anyway and cuddling on the couch.
To say that Georgie was bemused when she got home was an understatement. "You can speak cat now. Are you shitting me?"
"No. It's amazing! Georgie this might be the only good thing to have happened to me in years!"
Georgie rolled his eyes, grinning. "Don't be so dramatic. So what? Are cats really planning to overthrow us lowly humans? What is he saying?"
"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't tell me if that was the case. Admiral is there anything you'd like to say to Georgie?"
The Admiral, who hadn't budged from Jons chest since after he had been fed was staring straight at him. "Tell her I love her."
Jon turned to Georgie with the most serious face she had ever seen on him. "He wants you to know that he loves you." He announced gravely. And then, after a short pause. "But he loves me more."
"I didn't say that."
"He didn't say that!"
"No, but I know."
The Admiral bit at his finger and then immediately licked the raw skin as an apology. "Unruly kitten."
"I'm not a kitten!"
"You know I'm not sure if the noises you make are cute or creepy."
~~~
His language comprehension skills didn't only focus on cat speak, Jon found out soon after. He had been brave enough to step out of Georgies flat to go for a quick walk (and buy some cat food that Georgie refused to get for the Admiral), when a voice from above cooed at him.
"So shiny!"
Jon froze at the croaky exclamation, scanning his environment and trying not to panic. There was no police nearby. Which was good. But also bad if this was going to turn out to be a robbery. There weren't any people around at all, actually. Jon had gone out at an ungodly hour as to avoid big crowds and thus being seen.
The only being he could make out was a crow perched atop a lantern, gazing down at him. Jon pointed at himself. "Are you speaking to me?"
The crow tilted its head. "It would seem so, human."
"Oh. What is it that you find so shiny?"
It considered his question for a moment, then flew down. Jon flinched when the bird landed on his shoulder, a sharp beak tapping the hair clasp Jon had used to keep his mess of a hair out of his face.
"This. I'd like to have it."
Jon itched to stroke the black feathers that caressed his cheek. A childish excitement that he hadn't felt since uni thrumming in his chest.
"You can have it. Just let me take it out first."
The crow hopped on his other shoulder, nibbling at his scarf while Jon gently untangled the clasp from his locks, careful not to jostle his new friend too much.
"There we go. Here."
"Thank you. This kindness will not be forgotten."
Jon watched the bird fly off with his possession and wished his human encounters could go so smoothly.
Word did get around fast that he was a friend of corvids and provider of shiny things. Wherever he went at least two or three crows or ravens would appear within minutes chatting him up. Most of his spare change went to them and soon he found himself buying little trinkets for them to carry off.
In the weeks that followed Jon got out more and more, keeping to parks at unreasonable hours, driven to converse with all kinds of wildlife. He hadn't touched most of the statements he had been send, too fixated on the new, harmless ability he had been granted. This had improved Georgies and his relationship immensely. She had been worried that he would obsess over who could have murdered Leitner. Him going out and talking to various animals might not have been any less strange, but at least it felt harmless enough to her that she left him to it, sometimes even tagging along.
Jon had always felt it easier to communicate with animals. And this didn't change with his new ability. Interactions were simple and their stories were interesting, with a perspective foreign enough to catch his interest. Animals viewed the world rather differently, had different priorities and had less behavioral rules that Jon could mess up.
And they weren't shy to seek out his touch once they got to know him. More often than not these days Georgie would find him with a squirrel draped around his neck, a bird pulling his hair or a cat in his arms. He had even tried to talk to some insects once, but told Georgie with a look of disappointment that they didn't have the mind for idle chatter.
Like humans not every animal was friendly or even a good conversationalist. There was a white and grey pigeon nesting close to Georgies flat, who made for dreadful smalltalk and couldn't hold a thought to save its life. And Clara the sparrow loved to spew a litany of curse words at him, because she found they sounded funny.
In the end, however, his curiousity to learn more about his abilities led him to check out more of the statements and eventually, try and contact Jude Perry. They met in a quaint little café, opting to sit outside because of Judes flamability and Jons want to have a better chance of escape should anything go wrong.
Jon didn't shake Judes hand when she first asked. But after her statement and her willingness to give him the contact of an acquaintance he felt he had to. He reached out to take her hand when a crow dived down and crashed between the two. The ball of black feathers shook itself and snapped sharply at Jons hand.
"What do you think you are doing you lanky idiot! Do you not have any instincts left in your body! What are you?! A fledgling? Shame on you! You nearly gave us a heart attack!"
"I'm sorry, but you really should fly away. Your feathers are beginning to sizzle- Ow!"
The crow had squawked at him in a rather unbecoming manner for such a lovely lady, but had heeded his warning and flown onto his shoulder, opting to snap at his ear and pull it to get him to leave the firey lady, cussing him out all the while.
"I get it, I get it! Please stop assaulting my ear."
"What."
Momentarily having forgotten his audience in order to get the furious crow out of his hair, Jon send Jude an apologetic smile.
"Sorry. Marah seems to be quite against me shaking your hand. Ow. Would you stop that I'm not doing anything!"
"You can speak with animals?" Not even Jude - I'll burn everything you love to the ground - Perry seemed to be immune to the craziness of the situation. Her grin had turned from feral to amused. The air around her had gotten colder as well.
"Ah, yes. Wasn't Gertrude also able to do so?"
Jon had finally been able to get Marah out of his hair and was cradling her against his chest, patting down her ruffled feathers and let her play with the shiny decorative coins that hung from his scarf.
"I don't think I've ever seen her doing that. But then everyone Becomes differently."
"Becomes? Ah... right sorry, no further questions. I... I guess I've always had more interest in animals then humans. Could that... I mean that could be the reason."
"Could." She echoed him, eyes fixed on the crow nestled in his arms.
A flutter of wings made both of them look up and startle at the sight of dozens of black birds perched along the roofs staring down at them.
"Did you call them?" She hissed.
"No. It's not like I can control them. I occasionally give them stuff? And they make great conversation partners. I guess they're just pretty protective of me?"
"Fledgling." Marah huffed, winding one of his long locks around her beak and tugging.
"Ow. They call me fledgling for some reason."
Jude snorted into her boiling coffee. "Yeah that checks out." Her gaze skimmed the dark wall of feathers above them. People around them had become uncomfortable as well, hurrying to get out of the area. The waiter was giving them nervous glances, too.
"If it would ease your mind I doubt they'll try to attack you if you play nice?"
"You sound awfully unsure of that."
Jon shrugged as best as he could without jostling Marah too much. "I'm still not sure how all of this works. That's why I'm looking for other avatars."
Jude shook her head and laughed. "A Watcher not Knowing something. The world never ceases to surprise me." She took out her phone, which had a cracked display, the plastic scorched where her fingers touched, but miraculously was still functioning. "Give me your number I'll forward you some of my contacts."
"Thank you!"
"Don't. You'll pay me in cute pet pictures. Once weekly."
Jon smiled, that sounded like a much better price to pay than a scorched hand. "I'll do that. Any favourites?"
"Owls." Jude said without hesitation, then blinked and scowled at him. "You'll have to get a grip on that if you don't want Mike to throw you out the window."
"I'm sorry. I really don't mean to do... whatever I'm doing."
"Watch your wording then. Don't ask questions or whatever."
Jon sighed, holding out his phone for her to copy his number. "Right."
He bought Marah her favourite pastry as a thank you for saving him and promised to get her that pretty ring she had seen. It was quite expensive, but Jon thought it was worth it.
~~~
Jon was a bundle of frayed nerves when he went to visit Mike Crew. They had written back and forth a bit over the days and no matter how much Jon tried to coax Mike into meeting him somewhere more open the Avatar of the Vast never budged.
So here he was, sans crow support, knocking on the door of a serial killer. The young man that welcomed him in was only shorter than him by maybe an inch or two. He had donned a fake smile and was asking if he wanted some tea.
Jon didn't. He had a set of questions, hungered for Mikes statement. But Judes warning stopped him from immediately going for it. Drinking bland tea he didn't want was probably the better alternative to being thrown out a window. Not that that was still a very real possibility afterwards.
"I'd love to. Thank you."
Mike seemed surprised that he had taken him up on the offer. "Huh. Well then. Come in. I only have Lavender and Peppermint, any preferences?"
Jon tried to distract himself from the very obvious scar on Mikes neck by taking in the spacious flat he had just entered. "Peppermint sounds nice."
"Peppermint it is, then."
Jon trailed after him into the kitchen, a bit lost on what the etiquette was when being a first time guest. Was he supposed to wait somewhere? Go to the couch? Was he even allowed to take a seat before being told?
At least he had gotten better at small talk. True Mike Crew wasn't an animal, but Jon had found out that being nice was actually well received by humans and avatars alike. (What a shocker.)
"You have a lovely apartment."
Mike shot him what looked like a genuine grin. "Thank you! A gift from Simon. He's taking good care of all the new Vast avatars. Tends to try and adopt them, but I quite like my autonomy and the family parties he throws are dreadful."
Jon couldn't help but pout. The terminology didn't confuse him as much anymore. Jude had deigned to explain that to him via text, with a lot of gloating and bad puns. "I wish the Eye would be so welcoming. I swear for an entity that's all about knowing it doesn't tell me shit."
"Tough. You sure you work for the Eye and not the Web? Here. Come on don't just stand there like a bean pole the couch is a perfectly good place to sit."
"Good lord I hope so. I hate spiders."
"Cheers to that."
Not asking questions was hard. Jon was an impatient man, endlessly curious. And something within him craved Mikes statement. He opted to be honest with Mike about that, telling him without turning it into a burning question and the Avatar nodded in understanding.
"Alright I'll tell you my story then. Because you were nice enough not to ask and we short people should work together."
Jon hadn't been prepared for the sad tale that had been Mikes life. It seemed that he had only been able to somewhat settle down in the last few years. Being on the run for so long, Jon could only imagine what it did to a persons mind. He was only being wanted for murder for a bit now and the stress and paranoia was already killing him.
"Huh." Mike blinked when he was done, tea gone cold in his hands. "That was actually pretty therapeutic. I'm not opposed to doing this again."
They talked idly for a while after, Mike far less aggressive in his attitude than Jude, although he did lightly threaten him once or twice and gave him a horrible case of vertigo when Jon accidently insulted his taste in books.
Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door and Mikes eyes narrowed. "I thought we agreed you'd come alone."
"I did." Jon defended himself, fear easily flooding back into his body.
They both stood and carefully inched towards the door. Just as Mike was about to open it, mouth already open to scold whoever had dared to interrupt him, a chorus of loud hisses, meows and a surprised shout made them freeze.
"Jon! A Hunter is here! We've got her handled. Run!"
Not thinking Jon snatched Mikes wrist and pulled him away from the entrance to the flat. The floor underneath him seemed to give way, but Mike at least hadn't fully thrown him into his domain. He dragged them both deeper into the flat. "Shit that's Tonner."
"Who?"
"The police. I ah... might be wanted for murder at the moment. I thought I've been descreet enough. But apparently not. Sorry."
He didn't like that Mikes eyes gleamed with a newfound respect after hearing that. "Oh yeah. I forgot that murder was illegal for a moment. Who did you kill?"
"I didn't." Jon scowled. "I was framed. It was Jurgen Leitner."
"Leitner?!"
"Hmhm. Turns out he was hiding below the institute the whole time. Honestly he was a rather pathetic old man."
Mike tsked. "Good riddance."
"Quite."
Mike eyed the window as the cursing from outside continued. They both flinched when there was a gunshot. Jon lurched forward, running towards the sound, only to be harshly janked back with surprising force. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
"She's shooting the cats! I need to save them!" There might have been a bit of static in his voice, fueled by the panic.
An inhuman growl came from outside and a layered voice shouting "Stay back!".
"That's a Hunter out there!"
Jon only let out a pathetic whine. His cats. He couldn't leave his cats! But the arm around his waist didn't let him go. Mike cursed behind him.
"You're crazy. And weird. You owe me for this."
"I can pay in cute animal pictures."
Mike snorted and let Jon go, leaving him to open the door. As soon as Daisy was in sight there was a loud Pop and a yelp, then she was gone. Jon knelt down in the mass of hissing fur, hands stroking over every body he could find, frantically looking for injuries on any of his babies. They came to him immediately, butting against his hands, chanting "Jon!" and started to purr up a storm.
"I think she just fired a warning shot." Mike mused, pointing towards the ceiling.
Jon heaved a huge sigh. "Oh thank god."
Mike tilted his head at the strange display before him. "Are those free of fleas?"
"Of course! They all are perfectly well behaved, clean angels."
Mike rolled his eyes. "Cool. They can come in then. I'm sure they just saved both of our lifes. Might as well reward them a bit."
And that was how Jon joined an impromptu sleepover at a supernatural serial killers flat, drowned in cats and delightfully tipsy, because Mike insisted on drinking to not dying.
The next morning greeted them with more knocking, which was nearly drowned out by the screams of the cats begging for food. Mike shot him a tired look.
"I deal with the cats. You open the door. You only presumably killed one guy. I'm sure they won't shoot you on sight."
Jon really didn't think that logic was sound, but decided against arguing with Mike, who turned out to not be a morning person at all. Some of the cats came with him as he greeted Basira, who frowned at his entourage.
"I didn't know Mike Crew was secretly a cat lady."
"Ah no, that would be me."
"Right. That sounds more believable. I just came by to let you know that you're in the clear. Elias Bouchard is the murderer. We have evidence now."
"Cool." Came the nonplussed reply from behind Jon.
Both avatars (could Jon count himself as an avatar at this point?) stared the police woman down. Jon unsure how to either continue or end the conversation and Mike probably trying to glare her to death. By the looks of it Basira had suddenly developed a very bad case of vertigo.
She stood her ground, though, clearing her throat and staring right back. "Would you know where Daisy is? She came her to investigate yesterday and I didn't hear from her since."
Mike giggled, Jon sighed and the cats purred in triumph, looking smug. This did not reassure Basira in the slightest.
"Your feral mutt was making a racket outside my flat, Officer."
"She was shooting at the cats." Jon was still upset about that, bending down to cradle one of them against his chest. The good boy immediately began licking his chin to soothe him.
Basira just about held herself back from snarling at them, keeping her cold, professional mask in place. "And where is she now?"
Jon glanced over to Mike in question. The Avatar of the Vast grinned. "Enjoying a long skydiving trip!"
"I'd like to have her back, please. We'll need her to confront Elias."
"We?"
Basira shot him a glare. "Yes." There was no room for arguement there.
Jons shoulders slumped and Mike patted his head in faux sympathy. There was a scream from outside.
"There. Done. See you around Archivist. Send pictures not Cops."
"If I survive this." Jon grumbled, the cats trailing behind him as he left with officer Hussain.
Daisy met them halfway down the stairs and nearly lunged at Jon. Basira took the whole car ride to calm her down. A task that was made even harder by Jon, who was unconsciously bristling with static, still very much furious about Daisy trying to harm his babies. No matter how many times either of the women explained that they would never and that Daisy hadn't aimed at any of them, Jon could not be calmed. This was the only reason why Basira allowed him to take a huge orange tabby into the car.
Really.
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skippyv20 · 3 years
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🙂🙂🙂🏰🏰🏰WINDSOR ANON AND PG🏰🏰🏰🙂🙂🙂
WINDSOR ANON AND PG
WINDSOR ANON AND PG🏰🏰🏰🌳🌳🌳… “ I’ve been rummaging through my old record album collection Sydney “ …… “ How quaint Sir “ … “ I found an old Dusty Springfield album and Led Zeppelin and a signed Perry Como “ …… “how quaint sir” … “ Yes Sydney, slap some Jimmy Shand on , I do like a bit of the kaylee, reminds me of back in the day at Balmoral “ … “how quaint sir” …… “ yes me and Herself used to cut a rug Sydney, he he he ‘ …… “ a sight to behold sir “ … “ indubitably Sydney “
Thank you😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
3/22/21
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸👑👑👑👑👑👑THANK YOU DEAR WINDSOR ANON 👑👑👑👑👑👑🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
VIGNETTE #63
MARCH 23/2021
WE SHALL ZOOM A ZOOM ZOOM 🎥 😂😂🤣🤣IN ON WINDSOR CASTLE 🏰 AND SEE 👀 HOW THINGS ARE PROGRESSING WITH HIMSELF’S RECOVERY.  SYDNEY WAS ABLE TO SECURE A NICE ASSORTMENT OF SANDALWOOD MASSAGE OILS AND HIMSELF WAS PLEASED AS PUNCH 🥊 AND IS FEELING MUCH BETTER😚🙂. AAHHHH TOP HO SYDNEY, MY BACK AND SHOULDERS ARE SPIFFY, DAMN SPIFFY…..(HERE WE SAY SKIPPY DAMN SKIPPY😂😂😂🤣🤣NOT MEANING OUR SKIPPY💜💜🐼💜💜, IT IS JUST A SAYING).SYDNEY ENTERS THE ROOM BRINGING HIMSELF A HOT GREEN TEA 🍵. HIMSELF HEARS 👂 HIM APPROACH AND THEN SEES 👀 WHAT HE IS CARRYING AND LETS OUT A LOUD OH NOOOOOOOOOOO 😖😖😖😖NOT MORE OF THAT 🍵 GREEN TEA😫😫😫😫SYDNEY. HERSELF WILL HAVE ME LOOKING LIKE  KERMIT SOON 🐸. (IN CASE YOU DO NOT KNOW KERMIT THE FROG HAS BEEN A PUPPET ON SESAME STREET AND THE MUPPET SHOW AND MOVIES. THE MUPPET VERSION OF DICKENS A CHRISTMAS CAROL IS AWESOME YOU VERY SOON FORGET YOU ARE SEEING MUPPETS AS THERE ARE EXCELLENT ACTORS TOO. MICHAEL CAINE PLAYS SCROOGE.) SIR, 🗣IT IS PART OF THE RECOVERY PLAN AND HERSELF…NEVER MIND SYDNEY, I SHALL 
DRINK IT…ANYTHING TO KEEP OUT OF HOSPITAL 🏥 AND STAY HOME 🏰 WITH MY SWEET SAUSAGE🥰🥰🥰🥰. SYDNEY, 🗣COME OVER, I HAVE BEDN RUMMAGING THROUGH MY OLD RECORD ALBUMS COLLECTION. SYDNEY, WHO HAS HIS OWN MUSIC CASSETTE, ONLY THE MODERN WAY FOR SYDNEY. 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 SYDNEY 🗣SAYS OH HOW QUAINT SIR, VERY SLOWLY THINKING 🤔 💭🤔, I MUST GET HIMSELF SOME CASETTES FOR HIS CENTURION 💯BIRTHDAY, BRING HIM INTO THE 21ST CENTURY, MUSIC WISE😁😁. SYDNEY IS QUITE CHUFFED HE HAS SUCH A BRILLIANT 💡 IDEA! 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣HIMSELF CONTINUES, 🗣I FOUND AN OLD DUSTY SPRINGFIELD ALBUM AND LED ZEPPELIN AND A SIGNED PERRY COMO. SYDNEY CONTINUES TO THINK 🤔 ON HIS BIRTHDAY 🎉 🎂 🥳 GIFT PLANS, IN HIS HEAD WHILST SAYING 🗣TO HIMSELF AGAIN HALTINGLY, HOW VERY QUAINT  SIR. SYDNEY IS THINKING 🤔 I SHOULD  GET HIM CASSETTES BY OASIS, DEPECHE MODE, PET SHOP BOYS, AND GENESIS. OUR SYDNEY IS EVEN MORE PLEASED 😁😁😁NOW AS HE WILL HAVE A STELLAR BIRTHDAY 🎂 GIFT 🎁 FOR HIMSELF.😁😁😁😁HIMSELF 👀 LOOKS UP FROM HIS PILE OF RECORDS 💿 ALBUMS AND SEES SYDNEY WITH A HUGE GRIN. 😁😁😁SYDNEY 🗣, WHY ARE YOU GRINNING LIKE A CHESHIRE CAT 🐈? OH 🗣JUST SO GLAD 🙂YOU ARE HOME 🏰SIR AND ENJOYING YOUR 💿 ALBUMS.  AAAHHH SYDNEY LOOK 👀 HERE OH SYDNEY SLAP SOME JIMMY SHAND 🪗 ON. (DID THEY NAME THE DRINK SHANDY AFTER JIMMY SHAND? IF ANYONE KNOWS PLEASE LET ME KNOW.)AAAHHH NOTHING LIKE THE SHOULDER PIANO 🎹, EH  SYDNEY. THE  BLUEBELL POLKA, LOVE 🪗ACCORDIONS ! 
WISH HERSELF WERE HERE JUST NOW, WE CUT A RUG BETTER THAN FRED AND GINGER EVER DID. HIMSELF SMILING 😃🙂😊BROADLY THINKING 🤔 💭 🤔 OF ALL THE DANCING 🕺 💃 THEY HAVE DONE TOGETHER. MIND YOU, I DO LIKE A BIT OF KYLIE, REMINDS ME OF BACK IN THE DAY AT BALMORAL🏰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿. YET AGAIN, SYDNEY MUSTERS UP AND SAYS A VERY HALTING HOW VEERRYYY QQQUUAAIINNTT SIR. AAH KYLIE MINOGUE HAD TWO CAREERS, SO SHE DID. (WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND THEN AGAIN IN THE 90’S AND LATER ON TOO, SHE FOUGHT BREAST CANCER!! SHE IS A PERFORMER FOR SURE PLUS SHE IS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. A PROUD AUSSIE TOO!)OH SYDNEY, MEMORIES AND PLANS FOR MORE. HERSELF AND I SHALL DO A SURPRISE DANCE AT MY CENTURION 💯 BIRTHDAY 🎉 🎂 🥳TOP HO, I HAVE DECIDED. SYDNEY REPLIES, 🗣 THAT WILL BE A SIGHT TO BEHOLD SIR. HIMSELF CHEEKILY 🗣 REPLIES, INDUBITABLY SYDNEY 😁😁😁😁….TO BE CONTINUED……..
DONE WITH THE GREATEST LOVE AND RESPECT FOR HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN AND HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE PHILIP THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH 
GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿
ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES 
Thank you😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
3/22/21
Thank you PG....really making these stories come to life! Great stuff....😊😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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Ok so my P&F AU is called Safe Haven.
So this AU breaks from canon way back when Heinz ran away to live with the ocelots. Robert, in the fear of being the only child left in his house, went out to find his brother himself. When he found his brother he ran to him in relief, mama ocelot tried to attack. Heinz of protected his brother. And they grew closer from there.
At 16 a certain organization took notice of Heinz's inventing capabilities. They offered to give him an education and move him and Robert to America, in exchange Heinz would work for them. He agreed without a second thought. Neither brother has spoken to their family in the old country since.
Although the brothers were always in each other's pockets, Heinz was able to find a friend in a boy named Harris Flynn at college. He even set him up with failed date named Linda. Where he found love in Charlene Poofenplotz, a who could understand him disconnect from his parents, having legally divorced her own. The two couples moved in next door to each other. Even naming the other couple godparents of thier children.
Until Harris died in an accident caused by a failed invention before Phineas was born. Even thought Linda and Candace didn't blame him for Harris' death, Heinz couldn't help but think about how a kill switch could have saved them all this pain. And his survivors guilt proved to be the last straw in his fading marriage. He still won full custody, though that might have to do with Charlene moving to New York.
He runs a beloved bakery and the neighborhood kids referring to him as uncle Heinz. Don't he also keep his promise to work for the OWCA. Let's see Norm was born at the end of their marriage. Like this man has two kids, three jobs, and a double life. Somebody save this man from himself. Robert got him a pet ocelot but it didn't help. Oh wait, Linda's remarried and the family includes and uncle Perry. Oh and his new step-nephew, Buford, thanks Robby.
When Heinz goes down to his lab to relax as Dr.D, OWCA's best inventor, he sees it has been extended to understand the Flynn-Fletcher's home as well and a confused agent. "Oh Heinz I forgot to mention a transfer agent is moving in next door. Meet agent P. Do you know sign language?".
Fast forward about three years and Heinz has strong armed Professor Mystery into being an informant. He's is also tempted to lock him and Peter in a room together or just smash their faces together. Oh, junior agents Vanessa the Vampire bat and Candace the Canary have officially been assigned a mentor.
Two later and Norm, Phineas, and Ferb have taken it upon themselves to help Heinz with his inventing. "Boys, I have Pinky and Miggs to help." Isabella has called dibs on the code name iguana when she joins. You better watch out Perry she's coming for your #1 agent spot, but don't forget her invitation to you and uncle Heinz's wedding.
Feel free to ask me about this AU.
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Survey #368
“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”
Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."
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Movie Night
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[Finally finished my last entry for Perryshmirtz Week this year. It took a while but I promised myself I would finish this year.]
[Hope everyone has a Happy New Year]
One More Day
Another day.
Another day with Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Perry could barely keep back his happiness.
It’s been a while since Heinz became Perry’s nemesis. He always loved recalling all the memories they had shared together. Learning more about Heinz, spending time with him, and even getting more and more closer to him, even though it was mostly thanks to their fights.
There were times the two got to hang out, just the two of them, without the need of their good versus evil routines. Perry admitted he loved those moments the most. He wondered if there would be more moments like that even with Heinz declaring he was renouncing evil completely.
He hoped so. Very deeply.
Perhaps tonight was a good sign that there would be more. Heinz had invited Perry to a private movie night. It was private due to only a few villains knowing about it. That sounded suspicious to Perry but Heinz assured him it was perfectly safe for them to go. He claimed he has seen other nemesis there with their partnered villains a few times and nothing bad every came from it.
“It’s open only once a month and tickets are cheap as well as the snacks!” Heinz explained excitingly. “There’s good movies playing too, though they are pirated so the quality isn’t that great.”
Perry raised an eyebrow to that fact.
Heinz shrugged his shoulders. “We’re villains. What’d you expect?”
Perry tugged at Heinz’s lab coat and gave a worried look.
“Oh!” Heinz realized. “I mean, they are villains. I’m definitely quitting all that, Perry. It’s just...” Heinz paused to find the right words. “this is kind of my last day as a villain, since tomorrow I’m officially turning in all my villain registration papers and license, so what better way to end it than with my own wonderful nemesis?”
Perry felt himself blush from that compliment.
“And...”Heinz continued a bit nervously. “There is the fact that if you bring your nemesis, you get free entry.”
Perry crossed his arms. Ruining the moment again. He huffed disappointedly.
Heinz suddenly picked up Perry and held him up. “But, you know...” he said with joy in his eyes. “Even if I had to pay or even if there was no private villain theater, I would love to spend this last night as a villain with my wonderful and unforgettable nemesis.”
Perry blushed again. Okay, at least he knows how to bring back the moment.
.....
Perry waited by the spot that Heinz told him would be the best and, especially, the safest. It wasn’t too far from the theater but not too close either. Heinz assured there had never been bad occurrences before but he still felt it would be safer if he shows up with Perry than have an OWCA agent just show up at an all villain event.
Perry checked and fixed up his fur for the fourth time this night. He had made sure his fur was looking even shinier than usual and feeling extra smooth. He couldn’t help but feel high hopes for tonight(like extra pets or something like that). He wasn’t sure if tonight he would finally confess to Heinz how much he loves him but he always liked to be prepared for any situation. Even if there would be no confessions tonight, if they could have fun like always, it will still be consider a win to Perry.
Perry was thinking of every situation that could happen tonight until Heinz had pulled up in a taxi.
“Perry the Platypus!” Heinz called out quickly.
Perry noticed that Heinz wasn’t wearing his usual lab coat, he just had his usual pants and black turtleneck shirt. He looked...good, Perry thought. He also wondered if it was a symbolic way for Heinz to show that he was really leaving his evil ways behind. Or maybe he just thought he would look good. Perry had no complaints.
Heinz sent off the taxi and told him to charge it on his tab. He turned to Perry and smiled happily. “I’m so glad you’re here Perry, safe and sound. To be honest, I was a bit worried since there is still a lot of villains near by and, well, maybe... you know, you might have changed your mind?”
Perry noticed the look of relief on Heinz’s face. He started to realize that maybe Heinz had the same worry he had, if they would still want to be around each other even with their nemesiship coming to an end?
Perry grabbed onto Heinz’s hand and smiled at him. It was his usual gentle smile that he would show Heinz to comfort him and simply say he is here for him. He wanted to assure his long-time nemesis (and hopefully soon-to-be lover) that he would always want to be around him. Even just being close by him makes him the happiest platypus ever.
Heinz gently squeezed Perry’s hand. It was always his way of showing that he loved when they held hands like this. It was never clear to Perry if it was cause Heinz found the agent’s strong hands to also be remarkably cute and soft feeling or because Heinz loved the way that Perry showed support to him especially in ways like this. Perry hoped it was most likely the latter but both reasons would be fine too (though he would prefer the words strong and skilled than cute and soft).
Heinz kept holding onto to Perry’s hand until they made it to the supposedly secret villain theater. To Perry, it just looked like an old and abandon building. It definitely gave “keep out” vibes. No wonder the tickets and food were cheap here.
“Oh, don’t look like that, Perry,” Heinz scoffed as he opened the creaky door and jester to Perry to come inside. “I know that it doesn’t look grand but it can’t grab too much attention since it is suppose to be a secret villain hideout. Though I did offer some ideas to make it look more evil than dirty,” Heinz mumbled the last part in a disappointed tone. “It’s much better inside.”
Perry went inside and examined himself. It was definitely looking more clean and a bit more fixed up but there were definitely parts that still gave off an unwelcoming tone.
“And by that I actually mean a bit better, Heinz confessed.
Suddenly a bright light flashed unto the two, blinding them from their front view. Perry could tell it was shining from a high ground and he quickly stood in front of Heinz, ready to protect him.
A deep voice emerged from the direction where Perry was sure the light was coming from. “Who goes there?”
“Hi, it’s me, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz,” Heinz announced quickly and a bit nervously as if he was aware of possible danger from this person. “Oh and I brought my nemesis, Agent Perry the Platypus.”
“Ah, yes, for the free movie night with your nemesis,” the mysterious person answered back. “Alright, you know the rules. Give space to each villain as to not start any fights, whether it be verbal or physical.”
“It’s mostly verbal,” Heinz whispered to Perry.
“And, most importantly,” they continued. “No trickery or traps or anything suspicious like that. Or there will be consequences.”
The bright light turned off. Perry’s eyes adjusted a bit to see a silhouette of a figure standing on a balcony that was ahead of them.
“Dire Consequences,” the figure said in a more deeper and sinister tone. Heinz nodded quickly seeming a bit shaken by that warning (or really a threat). Even Perry got a bit shaken but he stood his ground. He wanted Heinz and this suspicious stranger to know that he was ready to protect Heinz from anything and anyone.
The figure stepped back and started to disappear into the darkness. “Oh,” they called out before disappearing completely. “And no outside food or drinks please.”
Heinz nodded again and started to walk to another entrance ahead of them. He signaled Perry to follow along. Perry looked up at where mysterious figure had been standing. He was a bit worried if they really should continue since he didn’t know anything about this theater or the person running it. He looked at Heinz again and saw him smiling. Well, he shouldn’t let his guard down all completely but maybe this time he could lower it just a bit to relax. He wanted to enjoy this night with Heinz no matter what.
The two entered through. Perry looked around. It actually looked like a decent looking theater. The movie screen was big and bright, the chairs looked in good conditions and actually comfortable to sit on, and it was spacious enough to allow distance between each villain.
“This way to our seats, Perry the Platypus,” Heinz whispered. “I think I got us some pretty good seats.”
While Perry followed Heinz down the aisle , he looked around to observe the other villains who were here tonight. To his surprise, there were indeed other OWCA agents here too. It was still pretty dark with just the light from the movie screen illuminating the room a bit, but he was sure he could see Professor Poofenplotz and Agent Pinky sitting next to each other and even sharing a large popcorn. He than noticed Agent Silent G with his nemesis Dr. Diminutive and they actually looked like they were...cuddling?
Heinz did say that villains have brought their nemesis here before but it still surprised him to see his own coworkers around here and even being close and friendly with their assigned villains. Rumors spread a lot in the OWCA offices but Perry never heard even so much as a whisper of this place or what goes on here. He didn’t even know his other coworkers were this close with their own assigned villains.
He was still a bit surprised by what he was seeing but it slowly started to make sense to him. He didn’t exactly go ranting on about his close relationship with his nemesis to OWCA or anyone really. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by it, it’s just he was an agent so keeping things secret is just what he does. He kept most things precious to him a secret from others. His closeness with Heinz was no exception. Plus, the OWCA office can be filled with such gossip and he didn’t want to hear any negativity about his relationship with his Heinz Doofenshmirtz (or any negativity towards his Heinz).
As the two approached close to their seats, Perry caught a glimpse of Peter the Panda with his own nemesis, Professor Mystery. So they did patch things up, Perry thought as he remembered all the drama that happened between them and their nemesis.
Peter the Panda caught a glimpse of Perry, too. When he saw Heinz just ahead of him, he looked at Perry again and gave him a thumbs up.
Perry smirked at him as he moved closer to Heinz. He admitted that he still felt some remorse from the whole incident the three of them went through but Perry tried to be understanding. During that time, Peter had felt distant from his nemesis and Heinz was actually good company when you got use to him. Anyways, the three had settled their feelings and managed to fix their nemesiships.
Perry looked around one more time. Maybe what he felt for Heinz wasn’t anything bad or unethical. Maybe it was just what it really was. Love.
The two made it to their seats and sat next to each other. Perry started to unwind and relax into his seat. He was still going to be alert of his surroundings, but everything seemed safe, especially with other agents here, too. This will be enjoyable night after all.
Perry started to remember everything Heinz and him have been through together. The first rememberable day they met, the crazy fights and adventures they had, the moments they got closer and friendlier with each other (Perry secretly wished they would have gotten even more friendlier) and, especially, the moment when he realized he was actually in love with Heinz. The moment that happened, his life seemed to have gotten a bit more brighter and even happier.
It wasn’t like his life before wasn’t nice. He got to be a great agent (though he would admit OWCA sure needed some improvements) and he got a great family to go home to (though he admitted he would appreciate it if Cadence’s attitude would improve towards him). It was just Heinz was like an added piece to his happiness. He completed him. He liked that. He wanted Heinz in his life forever and he felt Heinz wanted that, too.
Heinz looked at Perry. He smiled at him as he reached over and grabbed his nemesis’ hand. “Thank you again for coming here. I can’t imagine a better way to end my life of evil than with the one who completely changed my life.”
Perry started to notice a blush emerge on Heinz’s face. Heinz always commented on how cute and adorable Perry was, but, at this moment, Perry thought Heinz was the most cutest, hands down. Perry placed his own hand on top of Heinz and gave a gentle squeeze.
Heinz looked away for a bit, looking like his face was getting even more redder. “Um, the movie is about to start. Why don’t I go get some snacks for us?”
As Heinz was getting up, Perry held onto Heinz’s hand and pulled him back to his seat. He then moved over and sat on top of Heinz’s lap. He cuddled happily against his soon-to-be ex-nemesis (and, with any luck, his soon-to-be lover) and smiled at Heinz with a loving look. He wanted to show Heinz that all he needed was him close by him. Just like this. Always.
Heinz looked loving back at Perry. “I guess we could get something to eat later. Right now, this is nice.”
The movie started to play. The two leaned back and watched happily together with the other villains and agents. And the night went on better than the two imagined. No traps or fights. Just the company of each other and the closeness the two always wanted.
Perry couldn’t wait for another day like this with his Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
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aellynera · 4 years
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Itsy Bitsy Spiders (HCs)
OKAY LOOK GUYS. This is not my fault. This is all because of @rosemarysbaby13​ and a running conversation we’ve had about spiders and how we need Llewyn to come deal with them, because he would totally be about getting rid of spiders for you. Aaaaaaand then it became 2am and I don’t know but I just had to write some HCs about how our Oscars would handle dealing with spiders (both if you asked them to deal with it for you, and just spiders in general) and...
Warnings: There is (a very little) bit of language under the cut, but that’s it. Oh, and spiders.
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Llewyn Davis would 100% deal with the spider for you. The spider clearly didn’t care that much about its existence if it had the audacity to invade your personal space without asking permission, and Llewyn is not okay with that. He just wants to cuddle with you and that spider is curbing his flow. Now if the spider dared to crawl on him, he has no problem begging you to get it off him and throw it out the window. That spider can take its chances on the damn fire escape, that piece of shit.
Nathan Bateman sees the spider as a literal bug, even though he knows they are not actually bugs. They are arthropods (class Araneae) but they are eight-legged hellions that could potentially actually be dangerous to not only him but also to his laboratory so he gets immense satisfaction from smashing the hell out of them. They are errors in the code.
Mikael Boghosian would catch and release the spider. He took an oath to do no harm, and that extends to the non-human world as well. In fact, this is an issue often enough that he has a small glass and piece of cardboard specifically set aside in order to trap the invaders and set them free (never mind that he’s likely caught and released the same spider on your behalf at least twenty times; he will do whatever you need or ask of him.)
Michael Perry would get rid of the spider out of necessity, because they’re kinda gross and he doesn’t really like things with so many legs (two human legs or four canine or feline legs are just fine) but would also feel bad if one got smooshed under his cowboy boots. It’s not his fault, they should know better than to challenge the Texas Tush Push.
Orestes would begrudgingly handle spider disposal. It’s not that he likes them (not really) but he doesn’t particularly dislike them either (they are a part of the natural world, after all.) But if they bothered you that much, he would deal with it. And he would do it while telling you all about how important they are to how the world connects and works together. Who knows the effect that killing a spider in Alexandria could have on the farthest reaches of the empire?
Cecil doesn’t actually care one way or the other about the spider, but he does have an issue if it touches his skin and especially if it crawls anywhere near his neck. And all bets are off if the fucker comes near his beer and climbs onto the bottle. He’s fairly certain he could hit the bottle with a shot from halfway across the room with pinpoint accuracy, and he will apologize profusely to you if he misses and has to buy you a new dining room table. And he’d still feel bad about killing the spider.
Poe Dameron finds this to be a complicated question/request. How big is the spider? How many legs does it have? It’s alien, after all…some spiders are definitely more terrifying than others and you screaming “KILL IT” at him just isn’t specific enough. So he quickly snaps a holo of it and then asks BB-8 to run an analysis. Once the actual make and model of this alien invader has been determined, Poe considers asking you to handle it yourself - he knows you’re totally capable of dealing with alien spiders. But in the end, of course he would take care of it for you. By asking BB-8 to burn it with his lighter.
Reeves would either get rid of the spider, or catch it and throw it outside, whichever. Whatever you wanted, really. It’s just a spider, they never bothered him, so he doesn’t mind either way really. He does find it incredibly cute that you end up shrieking and jumping up on one of the kitchen chairs, laughing as he points out that it’s just a little spider, not a mouse. Then he writes a song about it.
Santiago Garcia is too busy running around the jungles of Colombia and trying to not get eaten by spiders of his own. But if he were home, he would absolutely take care of that spider for you. This is not even a question. Spider survival is a mission.
Bud Cooper would definitely get rid of the spider, but he would take it outside first before dealing with it. It was not invited into the house, it is not a welcome guest, and smashing it wherever it was found could potentially ruin the furniture or possibly hurt you, if it was crawling on you. So out it goes, and then it dies. And the next day when he gets to the office, he starts researching instances of spider infestations in your neighborhood and nearby parcels of land on the off-chance that this could radically affect your property values.
Blue Jones would catch the spider and then keep it as a pet. You don’t even know what to say to him other than...you really don’t know what to say. He tells you that he just feels like it suits him, and the next thing you know he’s named it “Baby” (because that’s not weird or anything) and is making a home for it on the corner of his desk. Vera is in the corner of the office, pinching the bridge of her nose as you shout at him that it’s not a tarantula and not something you keep as a pet and he just shrugs and continues on his merry way. From that day forward, none of the other girls understand why you call him Brown Recluse (and you’re certainly not going to explain it) but at least he got the damn thing off you. Maybe if you’re lucky, it will bite him. Karma is a bitch.
Lucien despises spiders. Not to the point that he won’t handle them himself if he has to, but it’s much more preferable if Gabriel is available to deal with such matters. And anyway, if he has to do it himself, he had an extra pair of gloves and he has somewhat accidentally discovered the best lure for most spiders is a jelly donut. And he’s fairly sure he’s doused most of them in the gasoline anyway.
Basil Stitt doesn’t even know how the spider got into his apartment in the first place. That must be one crafty little fucker to get past his set of defenses. Oh, shit, maybe it was when he had the pizzas delivered. Oh well. Whatever, it’s here now, and he’s definitely going to make it go away. He decided to call it Jason (there was no way that thing was also going to be called Basil, why did everything want to use his name anyway?) And Jason is going down. Just as soon as he manages to pry that big ass kitchen knife out of his desk.
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sailorbellewrites · 4 years
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Fools Rush In... I
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characters — yoongi x reader (ft. members of bts and other original characters)
summary — min yoongi, music executive and perpetual bachelor, marries a las vegas stripper he’s only known for six months. chaos ensues.
inspiration —  fools rush in (1997 rom-com starring salma hayek and matthew perry)
information — a drabble series loosely based on the 1997 movie fools rush in. drabbles not posted in any linear order and written as a creative writing outlet.
warnings — mentions of sex work; age-difference; light sugar daddy themes; smut (in some drabbles) ; light angst.
I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI
I — arrival.
Yoongi fucked up.
Or at least that’s what he thinks as he stares at you standing in the middle of his living room, five tattered and mismatched suitcases standing by your side. You look out of place in his high rise, both in appearance and comfort. You fidget with the edge of the Burberry coat he got you in New York City, when you stood in Times Square shivering your ass off because you didn’t own clothes for the weather. “Las Vegas,” you insisted as he dragged you into the store the next morning, “doesn’t get this cold, but I’m fine. I don’t need it!” However, you didn’t put up much of a fight when he told you to pick anything in the store because he wasn’t going to have his vacation ruined by you catching hypothermia, nor did you bat an eyelid when the sales clerk read the price and Yoongi swiped his card.
Getting married was never in the cards for Yoongi. He spent most of life staunchly focused on work, building a music production company from the ground up almost entirely on his own. His keen eye for detail and smart business sense made him a quick success, but he never slowed down for fear that it would all fall apart. He didn’t have time to date anyone seriously—though, no one in his industry really did. He didn’t mind though. Yoongi was content with being alone.
Until he met you.
“So… where should I put all this?” You start, waving a manicured hand at your luggage. Your nails are white, as Yoongi had requested when you messaged him asking for his opinion on a color. He loved the color on you, a stark difference from the black leather lingerie set you were wearing when he met you. He had swiped that set from your bedroom and destroyed it two months ago, though you didn’t know that.
“Spare room. You must be tired.” You don’t verbally respond to his words, instead nodding your head and looking down at your shoes. They were the sneakers he sent you as a gift for your birthday, custom painted with the words SUGA BABY on the tongue so that everyone at the club knew who they belonged to (and in turn, who you belonged to). He still had the video you sent  unboxing them saved on his phone, watching it in between stressful meetings. You looked so much happier in that video than you did now, so much brighter and taking up so much more space. You looked small and dull now. Yoongi hated it. Walking over to you, he placed both hands on your shoulders and squeezed them lightly, feeling you tense up. “Hey.”
“Hi.” 
“You’re uncomfortable.”
“It just… your apartment is very… big.” He could see that you wanted to say more, words sitting on the edge of your tongue that you refused to let out. It was unlike you, to keep quiet when you had something to say. He still remembers that time in Tokyo when you brazenly asked if there was a sex shop nearby your hotel because you wanted to look at specialty condoms in front of that poor concierge. The man turned a bright shade of red, though you didn’t apologize even when Yoongi berated you in the taxi for your lack of shame. “Oh who cares about shame when Sailor Moon condoms exist?” He remembers you saying in response, before sticking your tongue out at him and laughing when he did the same to you. 
“Did you expect something different?” Yoongi found himself asking, genuinely curious.
“Maybe… smaller?”
“You know how much money I have.” Yoongi started, confusion at your words evident in his voice. His hands dropped to your waist and you automatically took a step towards him.
“I do.”
“And you’ve traveled with me before. You have seen the places I choose to stay.”
“I have.”
“So then what’s the problem?”
“It’s just… you’ve seen what my place looked like.” You mumbled. Yoongi had, remembering the small cream colored building you called a home. You shared the small house with another dancer known as Rocki Rotten that regarded him as a sex obsessed creep. Your room was painted a hideous salmon color and seemed to always be five degrees hotter than the rest of the house, but you didn’t mind it at all. You called it quaint. Yoongi called it a travesty.
“Did you expect my apartment to look like your house?”
“No!” You let out quickly, voice rising although your eyes stayed trained on the floor. “I just… feel like I’m gonna mess something up or break something. I’m not… I don’t belong in a place like this.”
Yoongi frowned, pulling you closer to him until you were chest to chest. He lightly rested a hand under your chin and tilted your head up until you were both making eye contact. “Baby,” he started, letting out a gentle breath when he saw you smile at the pet name. You were such a sucker for pet names. “You are my wife. Anywhere I am is where you belong. Don’t ever believe anything different.”
“Okay.” You responded quietly, though Yoongi knew he won this battle when you wrapped your arms around him tightly, tension slowly leaving your body.
“Let’s get you in bed yeah? We can get you settled in the morning.”
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arty-e · 4 years
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Tada! Mary Queen of Scots and Lady Jane Grey. Mary Stuart song inspiration was Katy Perry while Jane Grey was Marina and the Diamonds (Oh No! and Teen Idle)
I would love to hear your opinions on their designs and if you think i should change anything about them?
History dump under cut:
Both queens were Cousins of the Tudor Siblings through Henry’s two sisters (they were they grandchildren (Margaret Tudor - Mary Stuart, Mary Tudor - Jane Grey))
Lady Jane Grey had been an intelligent woman (especially in humanities) however she was victim to her parents and father-in-laws power hungry fantasies. Her father in law was John Dudley, a power hungry man who had disposed of Edwards uncle Edward Seymour as regent and took of controlling the young king and his government. He had such a strong grasp on the young king that as Edward was on his death bed he manipulated him into changing his will to ignore his two sisters rights to be monarchs and usurp them with Jane instead giving him power over her and her husband (his son). Jane was Queen for nine days before her privy council (all who were part of the scheme) abandoned her. Mary (Elizabeth in tow) marched into London with no fight as everyone saw her as the rightful Queen, protestants and catholics alike.  Mary had originally been merciful towards her cosuin seeing she had been manipulated and was meant to be used as a puppet. She was less merciful to Dudley and those who had tried usurping her. Jane’s father felt guilty for pushing his daughter to be Queen for his own ambitions and wanted to save her and started an uprising that failed and ultimately lead to the 15-17 year olds execution
Admittedly i don’t know that much about Mary Queen of Scots just pieces here and there. Mary had originally be engaged and briefly married to the Dauphine of France, King Francis II however he died when he was 16 and she was sent back to Scotland. on her return many english Catholics wanted her to claim the english throne as they considered Elizabeth illegitimate and a bastard. However in her own country she regarded with suspicion as Scotland was slowly becoming much more Protestant and she was a devout Catholic. She had also been living in France since she was five so knew little of Scottish politics. She ended up marrying Henry Stuart (lord Darnley) and they had a son James Stuart (I of England and VI of Scotland). Henry was power hungry and wasn’t content being her consort and below his wife and demanded more power. He even had her close friend David Rizzio murdered in front of her while she was pregnant with their son. It is unclear if she had planned Darnley’s murder or if it had been a conspiracy behind her back but when she remarried to Lord Bothwell shortly afterwards made her people suspicious of her and demand she abdicate to her son who was only 1 years old. She never saw him again. She ran away to England in hopes Elizabeth would help her reclaim her throne however Elizabeth was wary of Mary and how unpopular she was in both England and Scotland. She was imprisoned and Elizabeth refused to execute her despite her council and allies begging her to do so. Only when evidence was found that Mary had been plotting to usurp that she ultimately signed her death warrant. Apparently Elizabeth had sent a messenger on the day of Mary’s execution in order to stop it but they were too late. She had worn red at her execution and apparently her pet dog had been under her skirt when she had been beheaded. A myth of Mary was when he blood hit the ground Scottish thistles grew where her blood fell.
yeh this was long... Hope you like the designs! :)
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yellow----daisy · 3 years
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Two Households Both Alike In Dignity, In AEW Where We Lay Our Scene...
In Professional Wrestling the "good guys" and "bad guys" never mix unless one switches sides. Jurassic Express and Mjf and Wardlow were no exceptions. These two groups fought for a while, spewing the most insulting words and throwing the most painful kicks. Neither showed any signs of switching sides.
At least not on camera.
As Maxwell Jacob Friedman fought Jungle Boy Jack Perry over and over and worked with him more and more, seeing the huge heart in him when he spoke with friends and co workers, he felt very odd. He knew what this feeling was as soon as he felt it, but he refused to believe he had them for Jungle Boy. Jungle Boy was a wild animal, he lived in the jungle and hung out with a dinosaur who's supposed to be dead and an annoying little child who was somehow older than him. And while Max did think Jungle Boy was very talented in the ring and loved fighting him, he still believed he was better than him. He felt as though his job was to make fun of Jungle Boy. He was such an easy target!
But as time went on, those reasons Max could make fun of Jack for, turned into reasons he loved him. And Max hated this. Everything Jungle Boy did made Max simply melt in his boots. Not to mention he was the most handsome thing to ever come out of a jungle he's ever seen. He would dream of sitting with the Jurassic Express member in whatever was the cleanest and safest spot of the jungle, gently running his hands through his long hair, or taking Jack to the nicest place around town and making sure nobody could see them. Max had fallen in love with Jack. And no matter how bad he wanted to deny it, he couldn't.
Thankfully it didn't affect his work, as he was able to make fun of Jack with ease. Perks of being perfect. But he knew he had to come out eventually. He had to tell Jack, even if he knew what reaction he was gonna get. So he decided he was going to do it.
Right before a match. Which is probably the worst possible time. The match before theirs that night was on and Max was looking for Jack in the locker room. He found him with Joey Janela, another close friend of his. He put his hand on his shoulder and asked to speak with him in private whenever he was available. Jack apologized and said goodbye to Joey, saying they'd finish their conversation later.
Much like Max, Jungle Boy began to feel odd around the best heel in the company. And much like Max, Jack knew what the feeling was. Only Jack probably took it worse. He didn't want to deny his feelings cause that was stupid, but really? Out of all the guys Jack could've fallen for, his heart chose this asshole?? As handsome and as talented Max was, he was still the scum of the earth.
He made fun of him and his family every week as well as literally anybody else in the wrestling business. If Jack and Max started dating he'd never hear the end of it.
But...then again, he is very passionate about his craft. He constantly wants to improve and Jack can respect that greatly. He's not afraid to speak his mind, for better or for worse, and he's always willing to stand up for himself and this business in his own special way. Maybe there was something to Max Jack or anybody didn't know about. Maybe Max had some good guy in him and maybe it would take a specific person to pull that out.
He ignored these feelings on camera, happily kicking the shit out of Max during matches and insulting him on the mic. Even though he didn't like speaking. He had another match with him tonight, but not for another 30 minutes or so, so he spent his free time talking to his good friend Joey. He kinda wished his heart chose him over Max so there would be no issues.
During their conversation, Jack felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Mjf, which was a huge surprise. Mjf never interacted with anybody in the locker room, let alone him. Then he asked him to speak privately, which only made it worse. When he told Joey they'd continue later, he could see how worried his friend was at what Mjf's intentions were. And he didn't blame him.
Max took Jack to a supply closet, locking the door and turning the light on. Max made sure he was in the cleanest spot, cause of course, and he looked...nervous? Mjf? Nervous? He's just full of surprises tonight.
"Alright I'm gonna get this done quick so you better listen cause I'm not repeating." Max started with, getting a nod from Jack. "Good. Now I know we have our match next and no matter what happens now I'm still gonna kick your ass very happily but I've realized something over the months we've been working together." Jack responded with a look that read 'go on…' "Now, there's so many reasons why I hated you-" hated being the keyword. "You're too quiet, you're wild, you hang with bugs and dinosaurs and children and all kinds of disgusting shit, and you're everything I despise in a person. But, after working with you and seeing how much heart you have inside and outside of the ring...I may...or may not...have turned those reasons of why I hate you into reasons I...I l... I lo….I lo…."
Jack sighed. "You love me."
"Oh thank God I didn't wanna say it."
"That was very clear. But, before you ask." Jack signed 'I love you too' in asl before kissing Max's cheek. He pulled back with a soft smile, then giggled at the face Max was making. Shocked to say the least.
"Ok I don't know what that hand thing means but I'm gonna assume it means I love you too."
"Right on the nose buddy. I'll have to teach you asl sometime."
"That is if we even hang out more."
"You just told me you loved me why wouldn't we hang out more?"
"I'll give you that one. But hold up, why me? I've literally only made fun of you this entire time."
"I dunno, why did you fall in love with me?"
"I never said I was in love."
"Your body language says otherwise."
Damn Jack was good.
Jack laughed again. "It's fine Mjf. Nothing to be ashamed of. I'll tell you what," Jack rested his hands on Max's chest. "You take me on a date, and nothing fancy like some five star restaurant. Really think of something we'd both enjoy. And if the date goes well, I'll consider you my boyfriend, as long as it's kept secret until further notice. If Luchasaurus or Marko found out I'm dating Maxwell Jacob Friedman I'd never hear the end of it. Deal?"
"Challenge accepted Jacky Boy."
"Not even dating and you're already giving me pet names, how cute."
"Thanks I just came up with it."
Jack laughed and kissed Max's cheek once more. "See you in the ring?"
"Unless something happens in the next ten minutes, you can count on it."
"Good. Can't wait to kick your ass."
"Oh please, I'm better than you and you know it."
"We'll just have to see~!" Jack kissed Max's cheek, again, and left the closet, heading back to the locker room.
Max stayed in there for a bit, ghosting his hand over his cheek with a genuine smile on his face. A rare sight from the wrestler. How Max was able to get anyone to agree to a date, let alone Jungle Boy who also came up with the idea, was beyond even him.
But there was no way he was screwing this up.
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