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#’sure why not post it maybe someone likes it’
neil-gaiman · 3 days
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Hi Neil.
I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.
First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.
So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…
Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)
Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.
Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.
(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)
I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.
But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.
I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.
But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.
I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.
It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.
I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.
My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”
But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.
In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.
Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”
As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.
I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…
The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.
So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.
People always say “it’s never too late.”
One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”
I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”
It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.
Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”
But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.
Whew.
So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.
And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.
Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.
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Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)
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pomefioredove · 2 days
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now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs
summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up
crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake
he acts so... casual about it?
swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"
"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"
okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you
"To what?"
Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."
(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)
Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices
"So you'll let me go once you get me?"
"Uhhh..."
Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him
Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him
(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)
Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess
even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast
you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!
of all the irresponsible things...
of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too
purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble
he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours
of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too
going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?
I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?
actually don't answer that
...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie
but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?
for one, you'd make a really good pillow
he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that
and malleus would hate it
...that's reason enough for him
plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?
either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie
news travels fast around school, after all
then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed
that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!
besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!
so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price
he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
now, Azul is annoyed
once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about
talk about good marketing...
why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!
of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary
it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one
Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof
though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion
a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around
and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says
"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"
hint: he is not
the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it
(AKA infinite sleepovers)
and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!
he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in
right next to his of course :)
and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you
after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him
You don't always get what you want
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable
he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner
with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...
when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs
oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?
of all the silly, immature things...
oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding
(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)
Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile
but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately
with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"
Idia understandably freaks out
"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"
(liar)
(...but this is still different)
the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus
"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."
Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"
"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"
"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"
Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege
Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made
he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident
though, of course, he goes to you first
seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week
and he's in a great mood!
"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"
you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"
"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"
you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"
"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"
certainly he's not this naive, you think
"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"
he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"
huh. that was a strange way of putting it
but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it
and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!
"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"
he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"
"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"
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thewertsearch · 22 hours
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GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others […] GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best! […] CA: its probably a trap i wwouldnt trust her CA: she is a cunnin and treacherous sort trust me i knoww her type GG: wait do you have a thing for her too??? GG: did she reject you or something?
Annihilate him, Jade. This would be a good time to unleash that rage you've been cultivating.
CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike
This dude's on some Methods of Rationality type shit.
I'm not sure why Eridan is on a crusade against magic. He's been insisting it was fake since his original introduction page, and it's pretty clear he has some sort of complex about it. Is there some unseen history here that we're not yet privy to?
GG: wow what are you talking about CA: so really you should be honored to inherit my old callin CA: both my armaments and my feud
To be fair to Eridan, he is accomplishing something useful here, even if it's by accident. Jade needs to get that rifle in her pen-pal's hands in order to fulfil the Endgame Bunny's time loop.
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Recalling Eridan’s introduction reminds me that this is one of the most powerful riflekind weapons in existence. This should imply that top-tier weapons cost tens of millions of grist...
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...but we just saw a weapon that costs much, much more.
Maybe the Proton Cannon has the same damage as the Crosshairs, but it also has an incredibly broken non-combat use.
GG: i have seen this before […] GG: i am very sure its the same rifle included with johns present […] CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original […] GG: i did not provide the weapons! GG: my penpal did […] GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson
Really?
I suppose being raised by a Sburb veteran would explain why he uses terms like 'boonbuck' in casual speech - but almost nothing else makes sense when viewed through this lens.
If Pen-Pal is Jade's grandson, then he should be from decades in the future - presumably long after the game has ended. This doesn't sound like a problem, until you remember some of the references he made.
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As much as it pains me to admit it, the Earth is probably gone for good - which means that any descendants of our Players will be raised somewhere else. Why would someone presumably raised in a completely different universe be so familiar with Earth's culture?
You could argue that he picked up his love of Earth movies from one of the surviving Earthlings, such as adult John - although that raises its own issues, because PP talks to John like he's never met him before. Maybe he died young, and passed his love of movies to PP posthumously - but as you can see, we're really having to stretch things to make this make sense.
Plus, there's an even bigger problem - namely, his 1920s 'accent'. None of the surviving Earthlings have it, and it's not like he just developed it spontaneously. If he was raised by Jade or her child, why does he talk like her grandfather would?
See, I'm still sure that PP is connected directly to Grandpa, and may well be the man himself - which means either PP is lying, or there's something more complicated going on here.
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We don't know anything about Grandpa's life after he fled the Crocker household. If he was somehow raised by an adult, post-Sburb Jade, then he could consider her his grandmother, while still talking and acting like the Grandpa Harley we know. Plus, it would explain why he acts like he's from the past, but knows about the future. He already has a history of time travelling - maybe he's been doing it since he was a kid.
Similar to my old theory about Spades Slick, this one is a little too convoluted to be 100% true - but still I think there's something to this idea. Being raised by Jade would neatly explain where he got the bunny's weapons...
Ugh, I don't know! This Pen-Pal really is the biggest curveball this comic has thrown at me. I need to think it over some more.
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starberry-cupcake · 2 days
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I'm back! Thank you so much for your patience and your kind messages and comments ♥ you are so nice about my silly ramblings, I appreciate it a lot.
previously, on harrowsoup the ninth:
this happened
also I posted this and this as previews and this is the whole tag
currently, chapters 23-26:
"an atmosphere of greater unease had settled over the mithraeum"
aka the emperor's bolthole
btw, no kidding, harrow, I hadn't noticed the unease
so, harrow asks around about the herald situation
I have another deck with dragon heralds but I'm not gonna go on a card tangent this time (you're welcome)
everyone gives terrible and useless descriptions
emperor johnny boy says "Whenever they come I am bundled off to a sealed sanctum at the heart of the Mitrhaeum, so that their insanity can't touch me"
asshole coward awful man
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harrobean is trying to ask why emperor asshat is so sure about her having to die and if there's no way she can make it
emperor johnny says yandere twin isn't that good at being a lyctor yet, even if she's surprising and that if he was still giving silly names, he'd name her "Saint of Awe"
harrow thinks "that had not quite suited Naberius"
get perpetually owned, chad
harrow also mentions not being able to remember things well
YOU THINK, HARROW?
"it was as though your brain had formed a scab over everything that had happened to you"
I don't think that scab is healing well
emperor johnny insists on the rapier
idk why they all insist on the rapier
gideon and camilla didn't like it and were the fucking best cavaliers ever
ARE, THEY ARE THE BEST CAVALIERS EVER
PRESENT TENSE
but anyway, at this point, it could very well be emperor johnbro has aesthetic demands
not like he'll explain anything
harrowbean sees not!dulcinea's door closed, which isn't usual
she second guesses a bit because she can't always trust what she sees and she remembers crux saying "you saw what you saw, Lady, and the only thing you control now is your reaction thereto"
I didn't like that old man, but that's pretty cool of him to say
harrow opens the door and sees this
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alleged gideon the first aka ortus tells harrow to go away very calmly and in a way that is too nice for him, apparently
harrow is upset at the display in front of her salad and goes to complain to yandere twin
which is a terrible place to complain at because she's both into gossip and into kink
if you want someone to take this seriously, that's the last place to go to
"at least you know who's been moving her—so to speak"
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this is what we get combining yandere twin and chad
I've used that gif twice for her already
I forgive her, though, because she says "god is a dickhead" and she's right
she also asks harrow to try to remember why emperor john god has given her the sword
and establishes that harrow previously did something to her jaw so that she couldn't tell her
that's going in the 3d model
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CHAPTER 24
apparently people are being less mean to harrowbean because they're already mourning her
harrow says that alleged gideon the first aka ortus has the name ortus because "it was just a banal and uncomfortable coincidence, as though he'd carried the name of a dead childhood pet"
she believes that the name must have caught on in the ninth because anastasia must have like brought it in and named people after her pal
I think he's named gideon
and that our gideon is named after him because of direct relationship of some capacity, maybe to someone involved
I considered the mom, but it's uncertain
in any case, he has to die
so, harrow puts a lot of wards and safety things in her room
kind of like this
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home alone styling it
but apparently alleged gideon the first aka ortus can bypass wards
much like the sleeper/waker
much like not!dulcinea
wards are basically pointless, I guess, at this point
so he goes into her bathroom when she's bathing because here in the emperor's bolthole, everyone's a disrespectful asshole
harrowbean says he's "a thanergy void" and "the ultimate nemesis of a bone adept"
he tries to kill her while she's looking like this
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I want to give this child some cocoa and play a comfort movie for her, like "the bone collector"
she ended up using the teeth she lost in the fight as projectiles in his eyes and got him to leave
she ended up bloody, unmoving, wet, naked and collapsed on the ground to which yandere twin live reacted to and left
she could have given her a hand
or an arm
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she decided alleged gideon had to die and ice cube barbie aka probably annabel lee agreed
when gideon was among us, there was not enough time for her to throw hands at people and here there's so many people she could be throwing hands at and she's not here to do so
camilla too, but camilla threw hands at martita in a way that was legendary enough
CHAPTER 25
harrow goes with the chisme to dr reverend professor emperor john
she says "I swear by the Locked Tomb"
to which he replies "I wouldn't swear by that in this instance"
which I sure hope doesn't mean anything nasty with my girl ice cube barbie annabel lee because I'm gonna kill this man
she might not be entirely alive (maybe she is, maybe she's just suspended or something) but she deserves better than this piece of work
then he says "well, that's unfortunate"
this man really knows how to handle a situation, huh
emperor john says that it's pretty unlikely that alleged gideon the first aka ortus was doing the dirty with not!dulcinea because he never showed interest before and is "legendarily unamorous"
that's another tshirt I need
I need that one and the witch one immediately
also, now we've got a problem
not just because my telenovela about how this man might or might not be related to our gideon got more convoluted
but also because if alleged gideon is aroace, I'm gonna have to stan
I don't make the rules over here, I have to stand by my people
I have a conflict of interest now
emperor john also says "you must think us all a depraved set of immortal criminals"
I mean yes, I do, but not because of sexy times with zombies
I'm not here to judge the sexytimes of necromancers and whatever they do in their spare time
I don't know the intricacies of consent with ghosts or whatever, I can't be imparting judgment
it's not that, emperor john
it's because you're unpleasant war criminals who are killing planets for fun
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well, the war criminal part I don't have hard evidence on rn but the situation doesn't seem to be in the favor of these people
I feel like when this man talks about the overall situation I'm getting a speech from emperor palpatine
emperor reverend john asks harrow, who has been awake for 25 years, to go to sleep
yeah, sure, she should go to sleep and wait for this guy to come by and try to kill her for the millionth time
meanwhile, harrowbean keeps collecting hours without sleep like
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she makes, at the request of emperor camp counselor john, soup for everyone
I don't remember if it was here or before and I forgot but, this is extremely important
they mentioned cassiopeia being the one who cooked before
cassiopeia the same one with the ceramics collection, if I'm remembering correctly
cassiopeia who was also from the sixth, I think
camilla's house
she's checking every single one of my boxes like a sniper
why isn't she here, we're stuck with the grumpy one and the senior chad
ANYWAY, at the mention of harrow cooking I thought, immediately, "that's an awesome way to kill this guy"
I was picturing more like a poison type situation, although I didn't know how that could be achieved
something like this
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but I should have known poison was too subtle for harrowcita
like I established back when protozoa's head was found in her closet, subtle isn't harrow's style
so it was more like this
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basically, harrow sectioned her tibia to put some in the soup and then she could necrobend it so that it attacked from the inside
if I'm getting it right
insane plan and I love it
emperor john shadyman says "ten thousand years since I've eaten human being, Harrow, and I didn't really want an encore."
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were they snacking on people during the Resurrection???
did they kill people by making lunch?????
???????????????????????????????????????????
"you think we're bad because we have sexy times with ghoulies?? uwu" that's the least of my concerns johnny john man
harrow then breaks down and asks straight to his face WHY THE FUCK MUST SHE SUFFER LIKE THIS
she calls herself a nonsense
the only nonsense here is what this emperor man speaks
she tells him she hasn't slept in six days
for a sleep deprived plan, it was excellent tbh
emperor man over here asks yandere twin to take her to sleep
and then stays with mercygirl to whom he says it's insane that harrow could do what she did and how did mercygirl miss that
this is the situation, as I have previously established
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augustine looks at harrow "as if he had seen the ghost of someone he did not particularly like"
alleged gideon the first aka ortus salutes her on her way out
he doesn't even have heartburn
CHAPTER 26
we're back on gideon-less canaan house because it's time for more people to die
in ways that make 0 sense at all for what we know so far
regina george twin is pushed to her death by mayonnaise uncle
sounds fake to me
like, come on
regina george twin can probably murder that feeble guy on sight
we saw her spar with gideon, she wanted to be the cav that chad ended up being
she might not be a necro but she can stand her ground in a physical fight
mayonnaise uncle without duracell bunny nephew is like a sweaty guy on an anime con complaining about girls ruining everything while buying a maid figurine
she can take him
anyway, he does that and he says to her "and somewhere out there, may all the blood of your blood suffer even a fraction of what I have suffered"
now, this is weird
is he talking about yandere twin?
he wants revenge because yandere twin obliterated him?
is yandere twin "out there"?
I'd say this might be limbo BUT CAMILLA ISN'T DEAD
harrow is going to him and he says "she has not remembered her end" "is this how it happens then?"
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and then he yeeted himself into space
that's what I wanted to do with not!dulcinea all along
so, yeah, well, this canaan business is getting more complicated now that it's not just people being shot
people are throwing themselves and others into space
and the memories of harrow in the emperor's bolthole aren't completely lining up with these
and mayonnaise uncle seemed to have been more aware of things than others around here?? or maybe just more forthcoming??? in that cryptic otaku way of his
also, no camilla at all still
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Things are heating up in the emperor's bolthole, hope to come back soon with another one and thanks for the patience, hope it was worth it.
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on-leatheredwings · 8 hours
Note
It's not a request, just wanna know your thoughts about yandere masochist Tim?
•́ ‿ ,•̀
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> romantic 18+ > twcw: bdsm, yandere-typical behaviors, can be read as dub-con despite reader being the dominant > kinda treated it like a hc/imagine request anyway hahhh it was fun to write!
Man, yandere masochist Tim would be a little bit of a mindfuck. But a delicious one, to be sure! I think the relationship is initially enticing to you because, well, Tim's the one getting dominated here. You're the one with the upper hand.
(He thinks it's very cute of you to assume that. Despite being the submissive, Tim’s definitely the one in control here.)
On a surface-level, Tim would enjoy letting go and putting himself in your hands. The Bats are adept at multitasking, but even geniuses like them get… stressed. Sometimes he doesn’t want to think, Lord knows he does enough of that already. Sometimes, it’s nice to be the pawn in someone else’s game for once, but also be able to enjoy it.
On a deeper level, Tim likes being your sub because it truly means that he's yours and you’re his. He loves when you pull at his hair, nip at him, or bully him. Your anger, your passion, your punishment– only he gets to see and enjoy the darker sides of you that you keep hidden from view during the day. Tim is greedy. Both the pain and pleasure you dish out is for him, and him alone, to take. And the same goes for your softness during the aftercare.
I see Tim enjoying being any flavor of masochist/sub, depending on his mood. And depending on yours as well! He can be a feisty, vexing brat with a smart mouth or a whimpering, pleading submissive. He has nothing if not the range! I think he’d really enjoy spanking or flogging.
His favorite position is head down, ass up. He likes the vulnerability and surprise, and the option to hide his face and mewl into the sheets. He's partial to being blindfolded as well! He enjoys bondage and shibari, too. He could easily escape, but he doesn't - that's him showing his respect, adoration, and trust for you.
Tim's more … possessive qualities will show themselves if you aren’t in a relationship with him, only friends with benefits.
"I may... find another sub, if that's okay with you?" No, it's not okay with him. Only he gets to see you this way. He feels obscenely, viscerally opposed to the idea, but he smiles amicably to your face.
Tim’s requests get more and more extreme to keep your attention. Show you that he lacks nothing, and he can go farther than any other masochist you could find. However, you didn't ask him to perform this way. Sure, you may be the dominant here, but your boundaries still matter don’t they? 
“Fine… but this is the last time, Tim,” you say, relenting. You’ll find him nodding, agreeing that of course, of course, just one more time for pity’s sake. That night, he’ll make sure to make the sweetest sounds. His role usually takes and receives, but Tim decides to also give. You can sit and ride his face until you orgasm. In your post-coital glow, you'll lie sandwiched to each other, breathless. He'll have your fingers trail on his skin and trace the bruises and the pretty pink welts you've left.
He'll whisper his agenda in your ear. You've always been easier to convince after loosening up. Okay, so maybe he was more hardcore than usual tonight, but you liked it, too. Why ruin a good thing? What could anyone give you that Tim can't? Maybe you really don't need to find someone else.
And most importantly, Tim will make it seem like you arrived at that conclusion entirely by yourself.
98 notes · View notes
cre8inghavoc · 3 days
Text
What are friends for?
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PT. 10
Status: ongoing!!
Updates: no set date.
WC: 5318
Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader
Genre/Warnings:[18+] Characters are aged up. This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drug use, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.Smut.
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Recap:
But before you can fully come down from your high, someone starts knocking on the bathroom door, jolting you back to reality. Your eyes widen in alarm, realizing the precarious situation you're in.
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You both freeze, locking eyes, you can't help but notice the difference in both your reactions. While he appears as if he gives no fucks about the knocking, you're hit with a wave of anxiety at the thought of being caught, especially by your friends. You don’t know exactly why you're keeping whatever's going on between you and Megumi a secret from them. Maybe it's the idea of avoiding their inevitable questions, even though you could easily make something up. But the idea of lying to your friends doesn't sit right with you. Sure, keeping things from them for now is one thing, but lying about something like that specifically to their faces and dealing with the fallout later feels wrong. A swirl of thoughts and emotions consumes you, possibly caused by the alcohol's lingering influence or maybe just the weight of the moment, who knows? But It's a real gut punch when you realize that you've been keeping secrets from your friends for a while now, and not just about this particular situation with Megumi. 
You think back to events with your ex, things you did, things he made you do.
You start to question yourself. Were you really trying to spare your friends' feelings, or were you just trying to shield yourself from potential judgement and rejection?  Because you were afraid. Afraid of being judged, the worry of embarrassing yourself, the constant nagging doubt about whether your friends would still accept you if they knew the truth—it's all there, gnawing at you. You suddenly feel the weight of your own actions crashing down on you. You've been living in fear, trapped in a cycle of hiding parts of yourself to avoid facing uncomfortable truths.
You have a feeling that Megumi can see your growing anxiety, noticing the way you fiddle with the ring on your finger and start to nervously bite your lower lip as you drift into deep thought. He gently places a hand on your waist, pulling you closer as he whispers in your ear, "Hey, just breathe. It's okay, there's nothing to panic about." 
"But what if it's our friends... what do we do then?" you ask nervously. 
"We'll just stay in here for a little longer until they leave”
“But we won't know when they will leave," you point out, your nerves still on edge.
He holds his gaze on you a little longer, sensing that the person at the door isn't the sole reason for your anxiety. There's something deeper brewing beneath the surface, something he can feel but can't quite put into words.
You nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, a habit you can't seem to shake, and he picks up on it immediately. Sensing your unease, he gently turns you around to face him. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice laced with concern.
"Just scared if someone catches us, that's all," you reply, attempting to brush off your deeper worries.
"No, that's not all. I can tell there's something else," he observes perceptively.
Shit. 
"No, I'm okay," you insist, forcing a smile.
"You know you're not very convincing, right?" he counters, his expression softening into a gentle smile. "Seriously, y/n... You can talk to me, you know? I'm here for you."
Your smile turns genuine as you express your gratitude. "Thanks, Megumi," you say sincerely. "It's nothing, really... I'm okay!" Despite your attempt to reassure him, a part of you knows that the unease lingering within won't be easily dismissed.
Just as Megumi was about to speak, the sound of heels walking away from the door interrupted the moment which you both took as an opportunity to slip away unnoticed. Thankfully, the dim lighting and the frenetic energy of the dance floor provided cover for your exit. 
As Megumi took your hand and guided you out of the club, a rush of conflicting emotions surged through you—excitement at being with him, mixed with the nervousness. However, luck wasn't on your side, as your absence from the group didn't go unnoticed. Their curious glances caught you leaving with someone, they just assumed he was just some guy you'd met there since they couldn’t see his face.
As you stepped outside, your phone buzzed incessantly with messages from your group chat.
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“Y/n!!! Who’s that guy you’re with 👀” - Maki
“Are you leaving without telling us?!” - Toge
“No fr, she actually full-on left-“ - Yuta
“Y/n got rizzzz 😏” - Itadori
“Whoooo Y/n!!! Get it, girl!” - Nobara
“You better be safe tho 😒.” - Maki 
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A giggle escapes your lips as you read through the messages, realizing that your friends have no idea it's Megumi, they think you're going to hook up with some random guy. The absurdity of the situation lightens the tension, and you can't help but find humour in their assumptions. 
You slip your phone back into your pocket and follow Megumi to his car, where he politely opens the door for you before getting in the driver's seat. "Where are we going?" you inquire, a sweet tone lacing your words.
"A spot I know," he replies cryptically, his hand finding its way to rest on your thigh. Your heart flutters at his touch—there's something about it that just feels right. You can't help but revel in the warmth and comfort it brings.
The two of you share easy conversation and listen to music for the rest of the drive through the city streets. Finally, you arrive at the spot he mentioned, greeted by the breathtaking view of the city skyline.
"Wow... how'd you even find this place? It's beautiful," you exclaim, your eyes drinking in the captivating view before you.
Megumi leans back, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. "I used to come here often," he confesses. "It's the kind of place I'd escape to, you know, when I needed to clear my head." His words carry a weight of past memories, hinting at the depth of his emotions and the significance of this spot to him.
You turn to face him, curiosity mingled with a hint of sadness in your gaze. "Escape... from what? If you don't mind me asking, of course," you inquire gently, sensing there's more to his story than meets the eye.
“Not something I can easily talk about…”
As Megumi's words hang in the air, you're left staring at him, a mix of disappointment and understanding washing over you. You glance down at your lap, lost in thought, trying to piece together what he might be hiding.
"Not sober at least..." he adds, his tone calm yet cryptic. Your head shoots up in shock and confusion, your eyes widening as you take in the wrap of weed in his hand. 
“Megu-” Before you can voice your protest or confusion, he interrupts you with a commanding tone.
"Open your mouth," he instructs.
"What are y-" you begin to ask, but he cuts you off again. 
"Open," he commands once more, his voice leaving no room for argument, and his gaze unwavering. You hesitate for a moment, unsure of what to do, but knowing Megumi well enough to understand that resistance is futile. You have no choice but to comply, you open your mouth obediently. 
“Tongue.” He moves the blunt to your tongue, instructing you to wet it.
As you stick out your tongue, you comply with his instruction, moistening the tip as he requested. Your eyes lock with Megumi's, the air between you crackles with intensity as you maintain eye contact, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the space between you. It feels as if time slows down, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the electric energy that pulses between you. Once done, you pull away, returning your tongue to your mouth. With practiced ease, Megumi rolls the blunt between his fingers, expertly crafting it into shape. The scent of the weed fills the air, adding to the charged atmosphere inside the car. He rolls down the window, allowing a gentle breeze to filter into the car. Leaning back against his seat, he brings the blunt to his lips, inhaling deeply. The smoke swirls around him as he holds his breath for a moment before exhaling slowly, releasing a cloud of smoke into the night air. Megumi's expression is relaxed, his gaze distant into the city. 
As you watch Megumi take another hit from the blunt, your mind wanders to the reasons behind his choice to smoke weed. What led him to this point? What prompted him to start in the first place? But before you can dwell on these thoughts for too long, his question snaps you back to reality.
"Wanna hit?" he offers, gesturing the blunt towards you. You hesitate, contemplating his offer. "Oh, uh... I've never smoked a spliff before," you admit, feeling a hint of embarrassment.
He chuckles at your response. "But you've had edibles?" he questions, amusement evident in his tone.
"Yeah... and a pen, but never a blunt," you confess, feeling a bit out of your element.
"That's crazy," he laughs softly. Then, his tone shifts slightly as he asks, "What made you start? If you don't mind me asking."
You pause, considering his question. It's not one you've been asked often or at all really, and you're kinda surprised by the sudden seriousness in his voice. Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you decide to open up to him, trusting him enough to share a piece of yourself.
“I’d have to take a few hits first” You giggle nervously, feeling a bit apprehensive about taking your first hit from a blunt. Megumi smirks, amused by your response, and offers you the blunt.
"Just inhale as much as you can and hold it for a bit. It might burn a little," he advises, his tone casual yet reassuring. You bring the blunt to your lips and inhale, feeling the smoke fill your lungs. It's harsher than you expected, and you cough slightly as you hold the smoke in, trying to follow Megumi's instructions. 
You exhale and between coughs, you manage to speak, your voice slightly raspy. "You said it'll burn a bit," you joke, trying to lighten the mood despite your coughing fit.
Megumi chuckles at your reaction, finding amusement in your discomfort. "Yeah, just a bit," he replies teasingly, his laughter echoing in the car.
As you take a few more hits from the blunt, the effects of the weed start to kick in, a warm sensation spreading through your body. Your eyes begin to feel heavy, and you can feel a familiar buzz settling in.
After a moment, you pass the blunt back to Megumi, your movements feeling slightly sluggish as the high takes hold. The world around you seems to slow down, colours becoming more vivid and sounds more pronounced. Despite the initial discomfort, you find yourself settling into the feeling, embracing the sense of relaxation and euphoria that washes over you. Megumi accepts the blunt with a knowing smile, understanding the shift in your demeanour as the effects of the weed take hold. 
As you meet Megumi's gaze, you can sense the unspoken question lingering between you, the curiosity etched into his expression. With a deep breath, you gather your thoughts, knowing that he deserves an honest answer.
"It's nothing too serious... I've always just had anxiety," you begin, your voice soft but steady. "And my ex... he started doing drugs with his friends. It started off simple with marijuana, but then it escalated to heavier stuff. He always tried to get me to do it too, but I never did. Which, looking back, I'm glad for."
You pause, the memories of your past relationship stirring up a mix of emotions within you. "We got into this big fight... such a stupid fight," you continue, your voice tinged with bitterness. "He called me names, said I'm useless and dumb, and made it seem like every 'bad' thing was because of my anxiety. He made me believe it was all me, that I was the problem."
Your words spill out in a rush, a torrent of pent-up frustrations and regrets. "Whenever he would lie or cheat, he'd gaslight me and blame it on my overthinking or some other stupid excuse," you admit, your voice trembling with emotion. "He made me at least try marijuana with him, and then... it just became a habit. Every time we would fight or my anxiety would get bad, I would just get high. It was like... a way to escape reality, a way to escape him."
You pause, your throat tight with emotion. "I got drawn to it... felt like I had to constantly be high so I didn't have to deal with life or give too many shits about it," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe it was a way to numb the pain, to forget about everything that was wrong in my life. I don't know... but it became an addiction, and I couldn't break free from it."
You fall silent, your words hanging in the air like a heavy weight. "Sorry... I'm just rambling now," you add, feeling a sense of vulnerability wash over you. But despite the fear of judgement, you're grateful for the opportunity to open up to Megumi, to share a piece of yourself with someone who truly cares.
"Y/n... I'm sorry you went through that," he says softly, his voice filled with sincerity and compassion. His words resonate with you, offering solace in a moment of vulnerability. 
You meet his gaze, feeling a sense of gratitude well up within you. "And don't apologize for opening up to me, angel," he continues, his voice gentle yet firm. "I'm glad you told me."
As Megumi speaks, his words wash over you like a soothing balm, offering comfort and understanding in a way you hadn't expected. They remind you that you're not alone in your struggles, offering a beacon of hope in the darkness of your past. You feel a warmth spread through you as he leans in slightly, his hand moving to gently stroke your cheek. His touch is tender, a gesture of empathy and support that helps to ease the tension coiled within you. You lean into his touch, a sense of gratitude wells up within you, grateful for the understanding and support he offers you.
You lean in closer to Megumi's face, a surge of boldness overtakes you, perhaps fueled by the combination of alcohol and weed. All you can think about is the need to feel his lips on yours, to experience the sweetness of his kiss. Closing the distance between you, your lips meet his in a soft, tentative touch at first, before the kiss deepens into a passionate embrace. Time seems to stand still as you lose yourself in the intoxicating sensation of being close to him.
Everything else fades away—the worries, the doubts, the fears. All that matters is the intoxicating sensation of being lost in each other, of sharing a moment of intimacy and connection. And as you melt into his embrace, you realize that this is where you belong, in his arms, wrapped up in the warmth of his love.
In a bold and spontaneous move, you find yourself getting out of your seat and straddling Megumi's lap in the driver's seat. It happens so smoothly, almost as if your body is acting on instinct rather than conscious thought. As you settle onto his lap, you feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through you, mingled with a sense of exhilaration at your own daring.
Placing your hands on his chest, you look into his eyes, a mischievous glint dancing in your gaze. Megumi's surprise is evident in his expression, his eyes widening slightly at your unexpected move. He hadn't anticipated you being so bold, and for a moment, he's taken aback by your sudden closeness.
Megumi's right hand settles on your waist, his touch is electrifying, sending a jolt of warmth coursing through you. Meanwhile, his other hand holds the blunt out of the slightly opened window. You meet his gaze as he slowly trails his eyes over your body. You lean towards his hand holding the blunt, allowing him to guide it towards your mouth. As the blunt hovers before your lips, you take a deep inhale, the smoke filling your lungs with a heady rush.
Once you're done, you pull back slightly, meeting Megumi's gaze and lean in to kiss him, exhaling the smoke into his mouth as your lips meet. It's a heady mix of passion and smoke, the taste of him mingling with the scent of weed.
A smirk forms on Megumi's lips as he savours the moment, his hand still resting on your waist. With a gentle pressure, he draws you closer, deepening the kiss as the intensity between you grows.
You slowly trail your hand down his chest until it rests over his clothed erection. The contact sends a jolt of desire coursing through both of you.
"F-fuck, angel..." he groans out, his voice thick with need and desire. The sensation of your touch drives him wild.
"Not here..." he manages to say, his voice heavy with desire. But you meet his gaze with a playful smile, moving your hand over his clothed cock in a teasing manner.
"Why nottt?" you counter, tilting your head slightly to the side and biting your bottom lip with a mischievous grin. 
Feeling his growing arousal beneath your touch, you tease him further by placing one hand on his waistband while the other moves over his hardened cock. 
"Fuck, you're making it so hard to resist..." he breathes out, his head tilting back slightly in pleasure.
"Then don't resist," you murmur, your voice dripping with desire, as you begin to slowly move your hand in his waistband. But before you can fully proceed, you feel his hand move from your waist to grab your wrist, his grip tightens around you with a firmness that sends a shiver down your spine. His touch is possessive, yet there's a hint of restraint in his hold, as if he's struggling to contain his desire.
"Not here," he says again, his voice filled with urgency and restraint. 
As his words ground you back to reality, you nod in agreement, understanding the need for discretion in the moment. With a sense of reluctance, you withdraw your hands and slide off of his lap, returning to the passenger seat.
He returns his hand on your thigh, a silent gesture of reassurance and connection, before passing you the blunt. You accept it gratefully, taking a few hits as he starts the car and drives back to his place. Rolling down the window, you let the summer night breeze wash over you, mingling with the euphoric effects of the weed and the music playing softly in the background. In that moment, everything feels peaceful, as if the worries and stresses of the world have melted away.
"It really does suck that being high makes you feel this way," you mutter to yourself, the words slipping out almost unconsciously. Despite the temporary escape it provides, you can't shake the underlying unease that comes with relying on substances for relief. 
Megumi hears your words, a flicker of understanding passing through his eyes, but he remains silent knowing he's no better when it comes to drugs.
In the quiet of the car ride, you both dwell on your own thoughts, each grappling with your own past pains. 
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As Megumi steps out of the car and opens the door for you, his gentle gesture speaks volumes. Taking his hand, you feel a sense of comfort and connection as he helps you out of the car. With your fingers intertwined, he leads you up the stairs to his front door.
The click of the lock echoes as Megumi unlocks the front house door, ushering you inside. A shared sense of relief washes over you both as you step into the familiar surroundings of his home, relieved that your friends aren't here yet to interrupt this moment of peace and privacy.
As soon as you both step inside, Megumi wastes no time. With a swift movement, he shuts the door behind you and then slams his lips onto yours, catching you off guard with his sudden passion. A soft moan escapes your lips as he presses you against the door, his body urgent against yours. His hands move with purpose over your body, igniting a primal desire within you. Responding to his passion, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you deepen the kiss.
Your smile against his lips only adds fuel to the fire of desire between you. With ease, Megumi lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around him, feeling a rush of excitement as his hands grip your ass, holding you close.
You giggle softly as he carries you upstairs to his room, enjoying the playful moment together. He shuts the bedroom door with a simple move before gently placing you on the bed. Meeting his gaze, his smirk makes your heart race.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he murmurs, his words making you blush. You glance away bashfully, feeling the heat of his gaze on you.
“But you'd look better with this off” 
Before you can fully process, he's already moving, sliding your dress up and off completely, leaving you exposed to his hungry eyes. His lustful gaze sends shivers down your spine as he takes in every inch of your body.
"God... fucking shit, you don’t know what you’re doing to me," he groans, his desire evident. Without hesitation, he removes your panties, and with a sense of urgency, Megumi eagerly dives in, his mouth on your pussy, his tongue exploring every inch with fervour. He's desperate to taste you, to feel you unravel beneath his touch. His sole focus is making you feel good, making you reach your high, wanting nothing more than to feel you cum all over his face.
The sensation of his tongue against you sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You arch your back, moaning in ecstasy as he works his magic, his eagerness evident in every movement. He’s desperate in wanting you to finish fast, to lose yourself in the pleasure he's giving you, Not just because he wants you to feel good, but because he can't hold back any longer... he wants you. No, he needs you.
He's yearning for your touch. His longing is so intense, you can almost feel it radiating from him. He just wants to feel you close, to be wrapped up in the warmth of your embrace, to experience that raw connection between you two. 
He's doing his best to restrain himself, but you make it so fucking hard by the way you look at him, by the way you’re pulling on his hair and grinding your hips against his mouth. Each noise, each moan that escapes your lips, each tug on his hair, sends a jolt of desire straight to his core. 
He slides two fingers into your pussy, curling them up to hit that sweet spot, feeling the urgency building inside him. He needs you to finish, he can’t take it anymore.
"Oh fuck, Gumi, I'm gonna cum," you moan, feeling the pressure building to an unbearable level.
"Fuck, angel, cum for me, yeah?" he groans, his movements becoming faster and more intense.
With his encouragement, you reach the peak of ecstasy, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure wash over you, releasing everything you've been holding back.
As he swiftly removes his pants and boxers, you gaze down in awe at his impressive length. Your eyes widen in shock at the sight of him-so big, so perfect. His dick is long, thick, with a slight upward curve, and it's enough to make your mouth water.
Unable to resist, you reach out and stroke his length, eliciting a deep moan of pleasure from him as he tilts his head back. Using his pre-cum as lubricant, you continue to stroke him, relishing in the sensation of his hardness in your hand.
"Tell me what you want, angel," he breathes out, his voice heavy with desire.
"I just want to make you feel good," you reply softly, your own desire evident in your voice.
"Yeah?" he groans again, his arousal evident as you continue to stroke him.
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel even better?" you ask, biting your lip in anticipation.
As you guide his tip to your entrance, he looks down at you with a smirk. "Oh, you're such a tease, babe," he remarks, his tone playful.
You smile back at him, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness coursing through you.
"You sure?" he asks, his concern evident in his gaze.
All you can do is bite your lower lip and nod, your heart pounding in anticipation.
With your agreement, he slowly pushes his tip into your entrance, watching your facial expression closely for any sign of discomfort.
"If you change your mind, just let me know, kay? I won't be mad, I promise," he says softly, stroking your cheek gently.
"Okay," you manage to mutter as you feel his length enter you, a wave of pleasure washing over you.
You moan as his dick stretches you out, a mixture of pain and pleasure coursing through you with each inch he pushes inside you.
"Fuck, baby, you really are so tight," he moans in pleasure, his voice filled with admiration.
You moan even louder as he continues to stretch you out further, the sensation overwhelming yet intoxicating.
"Takin’ me so well. Think you can take more, baby?" he asks, his desire evident in his voice.
Unable to form proper words, you simply nod your head, your body craving more of him.
He pushes in deeper, until his full length is buried inside you, and then he pauses, giving you a moment to adjust to his size.
"Are you feeling okay, angel?" he asks, concern evident in his voice as he gazes into
your eyes.
"Yes, can you please start moving... I need you," you reply, your desire evident in your voice after finally adjusting to his size.
"Anything you want," he says with a smirk, his eagerness to please you evident in his tone.
He begins to slowly thrust his hips back and forth, each movement sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
"Holy shit, you feel so good, angel," he groans, his voice filled with ecstasy.
You moan in response, the sensation of his dick moving inside you driving you wild with desire.
"Fuck- more, Gumi," you plead, wanting him to pick up the pace.
"Yeah? You want more?" he asks, his voice husky with desire as he speeds up his movements, eliciting even louder moans from you.
"Take it," he commands, lost in the pleasure of the moment, and you find yourself getting even wetter from his words alone.
"Fuck, you're so wet for me," he murmurs, his head falling to the crook of your neck as you tangle your hand in his hair, lost in the intensity of your connection.
"Oh fuck, Gumiii," you moan out, lost in the pleasure of his movements.
"Good fucking girl," he praises, his words driving you even wilder as he continues to increase his pace.
His dick curves perfectly to hit your spot, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through your body with each thrust. Your breathing becomes rapid as he continues to hit that sweet spot that drives you crazy, making it hard for you to hold back.
"Fuck, right there, yes!" you cry out in ecstasy, unable to contain your pleasure.
"You like when I fuck you like that, huh, angel?" he asks, his hand moving to your clit and rubbing fast circles on it, intensifying your pleasure even further.
"Oh, yes!" you moan louder, the sensation of his fingers combined with his thrusts pushing you closer and closer to the edge of bliss.
He smirks at your response, his movements becoming even more relentless as he focuses on driving you over the edge of ecstasy. With every thrust, he hits that perfect spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure radiating through your body.
Your moans grow louder, your body trembling with each touch and stroke. The combination of his deep thrusts and the sensation of his fingers on your clit pushes you closer to the brink of orgasm.
"Fuck, Gumi, I'm gonna cum," you whimper, your voice filled with urgency and desire.
"Go ahead, angel, cum for me, yeah?" he encourages, his voice husky with arousal as he continues to pleasure you.
With his words ringing in your ears, you surrender to the overwhelming sensation building inside you. Your climax crashes over you, every nerve ending ablaze with pleasure as you reach the peak of ecstasy.
He watches you with a satisfied grin, reveling in the sight of your release.
You clench around his dick tightly as you reach your climax, sending a jolt of pleasure through both of you.
"Shit, baby, you're squeezing me so tight," he groans in pleasure, the sensation driving him closer to the edge. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that."
But despite his words, you continue to tighten around him, pushing him closer and closer to the brink. With one final, desperate thrust, he loses control, his body tensing as he spills his hot seeds inside you, his groans of pleasure mingling with yours in the air.
As you both ride out the waves of ecstasy together, he collapses beside you, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he holds you close, savoring the intimacy of the moment.
"You did so good for me, baby," he murmurs, wrapping you in his arms as he spoons you, his breath hot against the back of your neck.
You smile and giggle at his words, feeling a warm glow of satisfaction spread through you.
Pulling him impossibly closer, you intertwine your fingers with his, squeezing his hands gently as you kiss them.
"Thank you," you whisper softly, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you as you drift off to sleep in his comforting embrace.
"I'll clean you up and get you some water, okay?" he murmurs softly, his voice filled with tenderness as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder. You nod sleepily, feeling grateful for his care and attention.
As Megumi makes his way downstairs to grab the waters, he runs into Itadori and the rest of the group returning from the club. They stumble in, clearly intoxicated, except for Itadori, who seems more sober than the others. Everyone greets Megumi with a friendly hello before heading off to their respective rooms to sleep off the night's activities. Maki goes with Nobara, while Yuta and Toge go up to Itadori's room and you? Well... you're obviously in Megumi's... but they don't know that of course.
As Megumi is about to head upstairs, Itadori stops him and pulls him to the side with a serious expression. "Yo, Megumi," he begins, catching Megumi's attention. Megumi turns to face him, a hint of confusion showing on his face. "What's up?"
"You gotta tell her, you know…" Itadori's tone is firm, his eyes locked on Megumi's.
Megumi furrows his brows, trying to understand. "Huh? What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about, Megumi," Itadori insists, his voice dropping slightly. "I'm not stupid. I saw the hickey on her neck. I know it's from you. And I'm happy for you, man. I'm glad you're both talking again. But seriously, you need to tell her… or else things are gonna get fucked over again."
Megumi meets Itadori's gaze, his mind racing as he processes the gravity of the situation. After a moment of contemplation, he nods solemnly. "Yeah, I will."
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it’s funny bc i wrote the first half drunk as then the last half high 😭
in honor of 4/20 😼
no im not a big person on drinking nd smoking but it was a celebration w my friend so yolooo 😗
help high rn as well speak plz dont mind omgg
low-key didnt reread this when sober so i hope it was okay 😃
also i got so lazy to do the messages so plzzz ignore that...
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TAGLIST <3
@lavender-hvze @xbarrjallenx @atinymonbebestay @1l-ynn @chilichopsticks @dr-fluff-meow @lost-resonance @maya-maya-56 @ichorstainedskin @luciiferslover @madaqueue @vanitywoo
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rifualk · 2 days
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On Mental Health and Cosmic Embarrassment
I don't usually make a post in the aftermath of one of my spirals, so I bet most people see some of the vent posts I make, and assume I am just off my meds or something. I am on them but I might not be on the right ones. This is a thing that happens to me sometimes. I have psychotic episodes, where it feels like the things I am saying are completely inconsequential and I genuinely believe no one cares what I'm saying or, worst of all, that it cannot scare anyone that cares about me. I get too tired to fight my intrusive thoughts and I just ride them out. Most of my thoughts are not ones I enjoy having. I have trouble parsing what is real sometimes. For most of my life, out of a kind of primal shame and terror of being perceived or judged, I beat myself into believing that I just roleplayed as a crazy person online because I wanted attention for it, but it finally clicked for me at some point in my 20s that I was, and am, genuinely very mentally ill, maybe in ways that make me not-entirely-functional in the culture I inhabit. Also, I want attention for it.
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Life is very embarrassing. I think embarrassment, shame, et al. is probably the most cosmic feeling of them all, because being embarrassed, for me anyway, leads invariably to my OCD extrapolating the embarrassment, no matter how slight, into its natural extreme, becoming a full-blown existential meltdown and often manifesting in some self-punishment. Or a lot of self-punishment. Instead of saying "everyone wants attention, it's not a big deal", my brain will overwhelm me with shame and make me vow to be quieter about the whole thing next time. Good emotions are meant to be expressed, I tell myself, and Bad ones are not. I think it's very unhealthy for people to not express their negative emotions openly. Or maybe I'm psychotic. I mean, I am psychotic. But maybe right now, too.
Ultimately this feeling peaks with the realization - again - that I'm a eukaryote. I live on a spinning ball of stardust in the aftermath of what had to have been a colossal disaster and waste of time. But it happened, and so now there's a bunch of stuff floating around, and some of that stuff started moving for reasons I don't personally understand and the implications of which scare me. And the moving stuff that moved faster got to stay moving longer. And so a chain reaction escalated, and eventually there were very large moving things whose survival adaptations had evolved in such a way that they could conceptualize and communicate complex information about the world around them, but they were also able to conceptualize themselves. This gave them a lot of grief. They wanted very badly for there to be an answer to why they were able to do that. Surely it served some purpose. But we never found one, and here we are.
I don't have a god to turn to. I have tried - earnestly, sincerely, and desperately - to reach out; I never hear back. I don't want to be an atheist, it's heartbreaking. Honestly. I want someone to be up there, or out there. Knowing there isn't, is just... cruel. It's horrifying and it wrenches my heart. Look at us, look how much we're suffering, where the fuck did you go, what the fuck is your problem? Help us!
In spite of everything, I am still not sure what I believe.
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Don't you ever just cry about the world? Like, broadly? Don't you ever just have to take off your glasses and wipe the brine from them because you caught a glimpse of what people, as a species, could be capable of? And I get angry at myself, too. What am I doing about it? What even can I do? I can barely hold down a job. I am barely an adult. I am often mired in this feeling. It permeates everything. I'm living in a tragedy - not just my own, but millions and millions of others'. This is a nightmare. It's a nightmare and I'm an embarrassment, and my brain doesn't work right, and I'm living in a terrible reality that is shared by everyone, and yet somehow equally isolating and alienating to all of us. Does it have to be that way? Aren't we all lonely?
When I am spiraling I really do think that the end is near, either for me, or for everyone, or for both. To be fair, my confidence about humanity's future is not promising even when I am at my most sane. But in this kind of emotional place, the stakes are too high for me to care that what I say might come off as upsetting. It is completely overwhelming. I see my life up to this point, and I see how long I've been alive and realize I'm very Not Normal and I look and sound different than everyone around me and I'm an embarrassment. It's embarrassing to exist. It's embarrassing to be transgender, too. It's really, really embarrassing to be mentally ill and fully aware of it all the time. It's shameful. I am ashamed of how my family likely sees me. How my peers see me. I'm just a walking disaster. I feel like this bars me from leading a happy life or finding some success in art - It doesn't seem like you're allowed to be quite this much of a problem and "get away with it", does it? There's a bit of social sanitizing at work there - you are only allowed to be a certain level of messed up and if you pass that you're sort of a pariah. I don't think I've ever done anything pariah-worthy, but I can only see things from the inside of my own head, and there's a lot of unwanted noise in here.
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I painted this when I lived in Oregon. I don't know how. I could not do art like this again if asked.
I'm not in a good place, generally-speaking. It could be worse - and it was for a long time- but it's still just not great. There are two reasons for this. One is that I'm very homesick. The other is that I found - and subsequently lost - my twin. But I only want to talk about the first reason right now - I grew attached to the Pacific Northwest in a way I've never really grown attached to any other place. It had a quality that exists nowhere else. It resonated with me immediately and I knew right away from the moment I first set foot there that it was my home. I grew to be a part of it, and it's the only place I felt I somewhat-belonged... I have been away from Oregon for 2 whole years as of next month. I feel like I'm a fish out of water, or a sapling in the wrong soil. I can't and won't say that the place I live currently is a bad place, but it isn't my place, and the disconnect has been maybe the nastiest shock to my system in all my life. Finding the place I loved, and living for over 12 years there, only to be wrenched away from it so suddenly, left a shock on me that I think has yet to surface in my work. I'm excited to see what form it takes when it does. Location is very important to my mental wellbeing, more than I think it is for most people. Maybe I am a plant. It's also very important for my art. I've struggled to find inspiration since I moved here. That said, I've had the very precious opportunity to just work on myself - on my transition, as well as my personal issues. I think I'm getting better, gradually, in some way. I have a job now, at least. So it's not entirely bad. I even grew sunflowers last summer.
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Around this time I got banned from twitter, but I don't feel any shame about the reason why because I believe in my message. But it forced me to be a lot less active online for a long time. It also made me lose a lot of support. That's been something I've grappled with a lot these last 2 years - that people really don't like people like me, for reasons that are mostly not our fault. I will likely always be something of an outsider for being who I am now, but I was one before anyway. It's still worth it. I like the person I'm becoming. I feel like only recently did I allow myself to feel this self-love. I was too embarrassed of myself. It took a lot of patience and a lot of de-tangling my self-worth from a lot of trauma. So it's likely I would have needed to go through all of this regardless of where I was.
I still slip up. It's an uphill climb and it's slippery. I like to be transparent about these things. It's a relief - feeling like I need to hide things is my default state and it's lovely to just let go of stuff so I don't need to keep it in my head all the time. I have a lot of hangups still. I get discouraged about my art still - I fear I'll never build myself back up to where I was before, and that there will never be a time when I can really pay the bills with it. Or worse-still, that it just isn't special enough to last. That it isn't remarkable enough to survive after I'm gone. But I think a lot of people who make stuff feel that way, and it's not our fault. There's some relief in that. I'm happy to have even a few people that care about me and my work, and something I've been trying really hard to remember in recent years is to take time to appreciate them. I'm not actually alone. I have a lot of people that love me. I'm not an outsider. I'm very lucky to know the people I do, and I hold a deep regret for all the connections I've let go of because I was just too sick. Deep down I really do wish I could love everyone. I have no ill will towards anyone, not really.
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I still don't know what I'm doing. I am just doing my best, I think. I'm really, really tired. I don't want to get any older. I'm scared of the passage of time. My memory is so bad, it feels like time is taken from me without me realizing. I am 33 years old. I do not have 33 years worth of memories. There are huge leaps. Gaps where suddenly I was just older and in more pain. Being adrift in time like this is horrific - one day I will blink, and the present moment may be completely forgotten. It can't go this fast. It just can't. Something has to be wrong. I don't want to die, I don't want to miss out on so much life or be unable to remember it. I don't want to find myself on my deathbed someday way sooner than I think and be unable to string together any kind of coherent thread from my memories. What is it all for? It has to mean something right? Why am I doing anything?
I think I finally understand that love is why. I don't know much more than that. Love is real, and it's the answer. If you find love, don't take it for granted, ever. No love is perfect. Take it with all its flaws. You don't have time to bargain with it. Love like you'll never love again, love like it's your last day alive, love like it will keep you alive forever, because it will. Every year closer to death you get, you will feel the regret of all the times you did not follow your heart. Life is short. I'm finding this out entirely too late. It goes by so fast, and what you have at the end are people and memories of being loved. To be loved is to live forever. It's the thing that connects us to everything else. It's the source and the answer to everything. It makes more sense the older I get. It used to sound cheesy, but I believe it with more sincerity every day.
youtube
I kept my last promise to you - there are no new scars on my arms, or bruises on my head or face.
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alexxncl · 3 days
Text
‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 40 SPOILERS‼️
masterlist | all lessons | lesson 39
the end of an era (season 2)
normal and hard spoilers
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oh baby :(
see every time i remember how sheltered diavolo is it makes me hate his father that much more. he grew up with everything in the world, but practically nobody to share it with.
diavolo had to have been smart enough to have caught onto the reason behind mephisto's attachment to him at an early age. he might be dense, but he's not stupid. even if he and mephisto did end up becoming really good friends, diavolo knew early on that their proximity was for business and royalty purposes only, and that friendship and a genuine relationship was second to their professional relationship
i feel like this is why he initially thought of the brothers as treasures in regard to status rather than as people, and the mindset shifted to seeing them as treasures in regards to the relationship he formed with them. he wanted genuine connection, but forming a professional connection before a genuine relationship was so deeply ingrained in him that he defaulted to it without even realizing it
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...he can't be fucking serious
GET HIM OUT I BEG
he would've done this regardless of the option we picked during the angel's trial i hate it here...can't he take a class or smth instead of experimenting on us
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i'm gonna kill him /j
i'm a whore in the game so i technically date everyone at once. but why does he NEVER say i love you back ????? not even in the first game ????????
like ok you're a time demon who shouldn't get attached to anyone and you choose to stay unattached bc you'll lose everyone anyways blah blah blah but at least indulge me a little bit 💔
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SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY I LOVE THEM
i feel like they know this is their last goodbye yk? obviously barbatos does, but this feels very, very final on their part. maybe it's a different version the feeling they have when they go into mc's room, like they can feel mc being pulled away from them physically
what if the end of the lesson or the story in the hard part of the lesson is them portalling back to their timeline and the brothers getting a glimpse of their alternate selves? and then everything clicking into place after mc leaves?
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the fact that simeon has as many doubts about his father's intentions as lucifer and his brothers did really solidifies my belief that he wanted to, in the worst case, fall with the brothers. and if he didn't fall, he'd at least have begged for answers as much as lucifer did before the war. he was demoted after the war for helping the brothers in canon, and i feel like he still beats himself up about it because of the side he chose. him and raphael both, but raphael is better at hiding it
(i have a whole post about simeon and michael before the war here)
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i've said this about a million times but...
the brothers ever 🫶🏽
they're such shitheads but also extremely concerned i love their dynamic sm
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SEE I TOLD YOU ‼️ HE MASKS HIS FEAR WITH ANGER (even though i'm pretty sure this was confirmed in canon in the og game and in nb s1)
him admitting that he was scared though? putting his pride aside and actually talking about his feelings for once? this is proof of how much he trusts mc, how much he loves and cares for them, even if he can't explain why the feelings he holds for them are so strong
it also shows that he's thankful to have someone who will care about and protect his brothers as much as he does, and some of the weight of the "oldest brother" mantle has been lifted. it allows him to be vulnerable and at least a little more carefree, which is why he's seen joking and laughing with his brothers so much more often in the later lessons in comparison to season 1 and early season 2
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i feel like i'm SUPOOSED to reach bc why would he phrase it like that ??? i don't think he knows...but he's really intuitive
or maybe this was a way of the devs using him to unofficially-officially send us off and into our original timeline. idk. i'm reaching but they made me
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THEY DID NOT
oh i'm really gonna cry...they took what we wrote in season 1 and showed it to the boys
i COMPLETELY forgot we even did this 😭 god i'm gonna cry i love this game sm
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I KNEW NO TIME PASSED THANK GODDDDDD
i don't think i'd be able to handle it if the same amount of time passed across realms
i also think this is why they emphasized "time soup" so heavily, you can be put anywhere at any time as if nothing had changed
...i can't believe it's over
...for now at least
well time to read the HDD story and catch up on devilgram
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adascore · 1 hour
Note
Hello! Not sure if you’re taking requests but would you consider doing an addition to TSS where young!arsenal reader was starting before Beth and Viv came back and has been benched majority of the time since (Kyra core☹️). Maybe during like the west ham game was one of the subs thrown on halfway through and after the loss made a snarky comment about “being thrown on to unfuck everything” type of thing to another teammate and Viv/beth overhear and think she’s talking about them (maybe they’re already a little insecure about losing such an “easy” game, self doubt post ACL) and things are super frosty and weird at home until one of them snaps and makes a comment about how they still wouldn’t have won even if R started. Hurt/comfort angst but with a happy ending!! Not sure if any of that strikes your fancy but I had the thought and you’re so talented:) no worries if not!!!
TO JUMP THE GUN(NERS)
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pairings: arsenal x teen!reader / meadema x teen!reader / kyra cooney-cross x arsenal!reader
warnings: the west-ham match. swearing. angst. awkwardness.
author’s note: OMG LOVE THIS IDEA ! like this was right up my alley I felt like 😭 thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy the story!
masterlist
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February 4, 2024 - Essex, England
It had become a routine, seeing her name and number on the bench. She took a glance at Kyra, a knowing look in her eyes.
The young Arsenal homegrown wondered where it all had gotten wrong. Well, she knew the answer, but it wasn't exactly something she could say out loud to anyone.
She was transported back to the 2022/23 season, where she would warm the bench until either Vivianne or Beth were too tired or they needed to be rested for the next match.
Their injuries had changed everything.
Y/N not only became a regular starter, but became a vital part of their game. Her absence would be noticed.
She scored the goals that got them to the semifinals of the Champions League, keeping them level with 2x champions Wolfsburg.
However, Beth and Vivianne were back now. Alessia's arrival also didn't help much, the former Manchester United player having cemented herself into the starting line-up.
It also didn't help that Jonas was not a fan of rotating. Only in specific Conti Cup matches or against what he deemed 'weaker' teams in the league would he make changes to the usual starting XI.
In other words, she was back to step 1.
That's why it was hard to watch her teammates falling 2-1 behind against West Ham, with no one seeming to find an answer or any will to turn the game around. It was a painful spectacle.
In the 63rd minute, Jonas decided to throw herself, Kyra and Cloé in the match, and take out Vivianne, Victoria and Beth. It was a desperate attempt, and the three Gunners found themselves on the pitch, tasked with the challenging mission of trying to fix everything that had gone wrong so far.
Y/N and Cloé quickly created some chances but the West Ham defense or the swift reflexes of Mackenzie Arnold saw them go in vain.
The teenager could see the expressions of her teammates on the bench, visibly frustrated with how the match had unfolded since Alessia's successful header.
Vivianne couldn't hide the discontent in her eyes as she sat with a subtle shake of her head. Her partner, sitting beside her, noticed and Beth patted her thigh, offering silent support as they continued to watch their team scramble for a late equalizer.
As the final whistle blew, the disappointment within the team was high. Y/N did her usual post-match routine, and congratulated all the West Ham players on their win, while giving and receiving solace from her own teammates.
The teen found Kyra again, someone who she had found a friendship in over the months the Australian had joined the Gunners.
''You alright?'' The midfielder asked her, a dejected tone in her voice.
Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, you?''
''Not too great, but there are worse things in life.'' Kyra responded, trying to put the loss in perspective.
''True,'' the striker agreed, ''I can't believe he keeps putting us in these positions.''
Kyra nodded. ''You think he would learn after Tottenham.'' She sighed.
''Apparently, we're not good enough to start, but when he needs us to unfuck everything that happened, then he knows who we are.'' Y/N said, her frustration evident. The unfair treatment of some players during the season lingered in the air, leaving a bitter taste after the defeat.
As the youngsters continued their conversation on their way to the locker room, Vivianne and Beth, unintentionally overhearing their discussion, exchanged puzzled glances.
''Did you hear that? 'Unfuck everything'?'' Beth repeated her housemate's words to her partner.
Vivianne's brow furrowed as she processed what was said. ''Yeah,'' the Dutchwoman breathed out, ''not very nice.'' A hint of sadness lingered in her voice. It stung that their efforts were being discussed in such terms, especially by the young girl they were living with.
They didn't say much else to one another as they strolled through the corridor.
The atmosphere in the locker room was subdued, void of any banter and entertaining chats. Most of the players were already there as the couple walked in.
Beth took a glimpse at Y/N and Kyra who still seemed in a discussion with one another, although they were whispering now.
''Girls, we're a lot better than this.'' Kim broke the ice, a neutral expression on her face.
Everyone nodded at the captain, the collective disappointment from the match was visible. ''Well, it's done, we can't change anything about it. So, everyone just do a reset, try to get some sleep or distract yourselves on the bus, and I expect everyone with fresh minds and legs at training.''
The team nodded and weakly applauded Kim's small speech.
As the team began to disperse, Y/N caught Beth's eye, offering a faint smile in greeting. However, the winger's response was noticeably strained, her usually warm demeanor replaced by a subtle tension.
"Everything okay?" The younger one ventured, her concern evident.
Beth's smile faltered slightly, her gaze flickering away before returning to meet Y/N's. "Yeah, everything's fine." She replied, though her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.
The striker's brow furrowed further, a flicker of uncertainty clouding her features. "Are you sure?" She pressed gently, not used to this awkwardness from her teammate.
"I... yeah, I'm sure." She retorted, her voice tinged with irritation.
"Okay..." Y/N trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Sensing the dismissiveness between them, she offered a hesitant smile before turning back to where she had been talking with Lia.
As her housemate walked away, Beth's expression hardened, a pang of guilt gnawing at her conscience. She knew she shouldn't act like this towards her, but her words had really struck a nerve for some reason and it was hard to pretend it didn't.
The drive home on the bus wasn't that different, though the atmosphere was more subdued due to the loss. Y/N and Kyra were seated next to each other, Katie and Caitlin sitting on the other side of them.
''You alright, Y/N?'' Caitlin asked, noticing the youngster's quietness.
Y/N looked up, glancing away from her nails to the older Australian player. She hesitated answering, not knowing if it was appropriate to say anything about her interaction with Beth.
She sat up straight and motioned for the three of them to huddle together over the small table. They got her message and did just that.
''Did anything happen on the bench or something? Cause I had this weird exchange with Meado, and it's just stuck in my head.'' She explained, her voice hushed.
They all frowned at her words. ''No, she was just frustrated about the game, but so was everyone else.'' Caitlin responded.
''What happened?'' Katie chimed in, curious to know about this exchange.
''I don't know. She was looking at me in the locker room, and I smiled at her, but she, I don't know, just looked weird at me. I asked her if she was alright, but she was kinda distant with me? She responded a little irritated so I left her alone, but it was weird.'' Y/N gave a small summary of the interaction.
"That is strange." Kyra mused, breaking the silence that had settled over their huddle.
They nodded at her words, agreeing with the young Australian.
''I didn't notice anything.'' Caitlin said with a pout, feeling sorry she couldn't help her younger teammate out. ''Me neither, kiddo.'' Katie added, a similar expression on her face.
Y/N smiled sadly, disappointed she wasn't any wiser on Beth. Katie rubbed her arm once she noticed her dejected expression. ''Hey, I wouldn't worry about it. It's a tough loss.''
The youngster nodded at the Irishwoman's words. ''Yeah, you're right.''
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Katie was not right.
As soon as she got in the car with the beloved couple it was clear that something had gone down for them to act in such a sour mood. Vivianne's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, while Beth stared out of the window, her expression unreadable.
Sensing the palpable tension, Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The youngster wanted to break the silence, but the words wouldn't come out. It felt like they were stuck in her throat.
The drive home felt like forever. Every minute made the atmosphere worse. Y/N tried to catch Vivianne or Beth's eye, hoping for some sign that things would get better, but there was nothing.
Car rides after losses were never filled with much conversation, but it had never been like this.
A wave of relief went through her as the car was parked in front of their apartment complex, longing for the comfort of her room where she could hide from whatever the situation was.
Y/N couldn't even come up with a guess on what had transpired. Did they have a fight? Did she do something? Did someone else do something?
She had absolutely no clue.
However, the tension seemed to follow them into their shared home. The silence had become even more deafening with each step they took.
Beth disappeared into her room without a word, while Vivianne headed straight for the kitchen, her movements stiff and mechanical. Y/N stood in the hallway, feeling like an outsider in her own home.
Their behaviors made her feel anxious, feeling that knot inside her stomach. What had happened during the game? What had caused them to retreat into themselves like this?
Unable to handle any of it longer, Y/N tentatively approached the Dutchwoman in the kitchen. "Um, Viv?" She began, her voice small.
Vivianne glanced up, her expression guarded. "Yeah?” She replied, accent heavy.
The younger girl hesitated, unsure of how to broach the subject. "I, uh, did, uh, something happen at the game?" She stammered, her words stumbling over each other in her haste to get everything out.
The striker's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?” She asked, her face neutral.
Her response only added to the youngest one's confusion. It seemed as though they were both dancing around a subject neither wanted to address.
"I-I just... noticed things were a bit off between everyone after the match," Y/N explained, her voice barely above a whisper, "and, well, the car ride home was... a bit weird, you know.”
Vivianne's expression softened slightly, though her guard remained up. ''Don't worry about it. Just… frustration from the game.''
But Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than just frustration. She wanted to press further, but the fear of causing further conflict held her back.
Instead, she offered a hesitant nod. ''Okay, good.'' She murmured to the floor, retreating back to her room with a heavy heart.
The Arsenal homegrown player pulled her phone out of her pocket, searching up Kyra's contact. It only took a few rings for the Australian to pick up, she was probably already on her phone as she was called.
''Hey.'' Her accent momentarily bringing a smile to Y/N's face.
''Hey, you're home?''
''Yeah, just arrived. What's up?''
There was a brief pause before Y/N continued. ''Things have gotten a bit weirder since, uh, on the bus.''
''Shit. What happened?'' She asked, her voice filled with genuine worry.
''It's just... the tension at home is almost suffocating," she explained, ''it was completely silent the entire time we were driving home, and when we got home, Beth immediately went to her room. I tried to ask Viv about, but she told me it was just frustrations, but it clearly is not just that.''
There was a moment of silence as Kyra processed Y/N's words. "That doesn't sound good," she finally replied, ''you really have no idea what might have happened? Maybe they had a fight or something?''
Y/N shook her head, even though her teammate couldn't see it. "No, that's the thing. I'm completely lost." She admitted, frustration lacing her words.
''Same. I wish I knew what to say to help.'' Kyra said softly.
''It's alright, Ky. Thanks for letting me ramble.'' Y/N chuckled, appreciating the opportunity to unload her worries onto her friend.
''It's fine, honestly. It must not be fun to be in this situation,'' the Matilda replied, feeling for her friend, ''if anything else happens you can always let me know, okay? I'm gonna have some dinner now.''
Y/N smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Ky. I really appreciate it.”
''Anytime. Take care, I'll see you at training.''
''You too. Bye, bye.'' They bid each other goodbye before hanging up the phone.
Y/N prepared to leave her room again, wanting to check if Vivianne had started dinner yet or not.
Just as she stepped into the hallway, she nearly collided with Beth, who was coming out of her room with a tight-lipped expression. The sudden encounter caught them both off guard.
''Shit, sorry.'' The younger one apologized first, giving her housemate an awkward glance.
''It's alright,'' Beth brushed off, ''uh, were you on the phone just now?" She asked, her brow furrowing slightly.
Y/N nodded. ''Uh, yeah, with Kyra.''
Beth's expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her features. "Oh, Kyra." She murmured, her voice tight.
The younger girl simply stared at the winger, not knowing what to say to her words. "Is everything okay?" Y/N ventured, her voice hesitant as she searched Beth's face for any sign of what might be bothering her.
Beth's lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she seemed lost in thought. When she finally spoke, her words were tinged with a hint of irritation. ''Everything's alright.''
Y/N offered a small, uneasy smile and nodded. "Oh, okay." She said, though her words felt hollow even to her own ears.
With a nod of acknowledgment, Beth turned to walk away. As she watched Beth disappear around the corner, she wondered if it had been something she had done. However, she couldn't recall saying or doing anything that day that would have provoked this kind of demeanor from the couple.
The young striker walked into the living room, noticing Vivianne bustling about in the kitchen. But what caught Y/N's attention was the hushed whispers exchanged between the couple, Beth and Vivianne not being subtle about their gossiping.
A sense of discomfort washed over the youngster as she hesitated in the doorway, unsure whether to interrupt or retreat unnoticed. But before she could make a decision, the Dutchwoman glanced up and caught her eye, her expression inscrutable.
''Hey, dinner is almost ready. Just some leftover pasta from yesterday.'' She informed Y/N, her tone somewhat forced as she attempted to maintain a facade of normalcy.
Y/N forced a smile. ''Nice, thanks, Viv.'' She answered, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung in the air.
She retreated to the couch, feeling as if she wasn't welcome in the small space. Something was off, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on the outside looking in.
She scrolled on her phone for a few minutes before Vivianne called her to the table as the food was ready. As they gathered around the dinner table, the atmosphere remained strained, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.
Vivianne served up the leftover pasta, her movements brisk as she avoided making eye contact with anyone. Beth sat across from Y/N, her expression unreadable as she picked at her food.
Y/N tried to focus on her food, but the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach made it difficult to swallow.
For a few moments, the only sound was the clinking of forks against plates, the silence punctuated only by the occasional awkward cough or clearing of throat.
Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, Y/N opened her mouth. "So, um, what did you guys think about the match?'' She asked the pair, her voice coming out more high than she had intended.
As if on cue, Vivianne and Beth glanced up from their plates at the same time.
''It was tough, but it shouldn't have been tough. We lacked a clear tactic.'' The experienced striker answered, filling up the silence.
Y/N nodded, relieved at least one of them responded to her attempt at conversation. She took a peek at Beth, who did not seem amused in the slightest to talk about the surprising defeat earlier that day.
''It was just another match of us fucking everything up, and you kids having to unfuck it all.'' Beth said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
The youngest's eyes widened slightly at the cutting remark, not expecting those words to come out of the Brit's mouth.
Vivianne shifted uncomfortably in her seat, casting a quick glance at Y/N before fixing her gaze on her partner. "Beth, that's enough.'' Her voice was stern, warning Beth that this was not the way to go about this.
But Beth ignored her girlfriend, her eyes fixed on Y/N with an intensity that made her squirm. ''No, she needs to learn to not talk about teammates that way, especially the ones that have just gotten back from serious injuries, and need time to reintegrate into the group.''
Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she cast a desperate look at Vivianne, silently pleading for her to intervene and diffuse the situation before it escalated any further.
''Beth, I wasn't-''
''You weren't what? You weren't talking shit to Kyra about us right after the match? You weren't talking shit about us to Kyra on the phone just now?'' The oldest continued in an accusing tone.
Vivianne let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she attempted to defuse the situation. ''Beth.'' She said firmly, her gaze shifting between the two other people at the table.
''I wasn't talking shit about you guys. I would never do that.'' Y/N managed to let out, offended at the mere idea of her not appreciating the two women who'd let her move in with them a 1,5 years ago.
''Y/N, we heard you. On the pitch after the match, with Kyra.'' Beth responded bluntly.
Y/N swallowed hard, slightly ashamed of being caught. ''We were just... we were just frustrated, okay? That comment wasn't directed at any of you guys, it was more at Jonas, to be fair.''
The couple grew silent at the admission, realizing they had greatly misunderstood the two young girls' conversation. ''About Jonas?'' Vivianne repeated, her voice carrying a note of embarrassment.
The young striker nodded. ''Yeah, me and Kyra have just been a bit upset with our game time, that's all. It felt like a repeat of the Tottenham game.''
Beth and Vivianne exchanged a glance, coming to a silent understanding. ''We're sorry for jumping the gun on that one, darling. We really thought we needed to teach you some manners.'' The Brit nervously apologized with a chuckle.
''It's alright, we probably should've been a bit more discreet.'' Y/N brushed her apology off with a hand gesture.
''No, you two are in your full right to complain.'' Vivianne retorted, agreeing on the playing time matter.
The teenager waited a few moments before elaborating. ''I don't mind sitting on the bench, it's great to get rest, you know? But it almost feels like he doesn't trust me to get the game starting or something. I like to think I did great last season, so this kind of sucks.'' She opened up, not having voiced these thoughts to anyone but Kyra.
''You did amazing last season, you stepped up when we needed someone and the team will never forget that.'' Beth smiled, squeezing the youngster' s hand.
''It seems that Jonas forgot.'' Y/N muttered bitterly, looking down at her empty plate.
The couple silenced themselves at her mumbled words, not knowing what the appropriate response would be to cheer her up about the situation. They were indirectly responsible for the young girl to not get as much game time anymore, so whatever they would tell her, she would most likely not feel much better afterwards.
''Just focus on what you're doing right now. Show up to training, recover well, maximize everything in the minutes you do get. Show him that he should trust you to start, and that you deserve to have that spot in the line-up.'' Vivianne chimed in, her voice soft but resolute.
Y/N nodded at the older woman's words, though her demeanor still seemed dejected. ''Yeah, I'll continue to do that.'' It came out somewhat passive aggressive.
''I know it doesn't fix the situation, but you're my personal star girl, regardless whether you play or not.'' Beth softly smiled at her.
The teen managed to crack a small smile back, appreciating the sentiment. ''Thanks, Beth.''
''You're mine too.'' Vivianne added.
''Hey, that's my compliment for her! Find another one if you want to be cute!'' Beth scolded her partner, dramatically feigning annoyance.
The Dutchwoman frowned. ''Everyone calls her ‘star girl'! You're not original either!'' She pouted back.
Y/N couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the banter between the couple, happily accepting the momentary distraction from her frustrations.
Beth playfully rolled her eyes. ''At least I'm complimenting her!''
''Sorry that I was just giving useful advice, Bethany.'' Vivianne retorted.
''Useful.'' The Brit repeated, her voice heavily tinged with sarcasm.
Vivianne's mouth gaped, pretending to be offended. ''It was useful! That's what I would have wanted to hear at 19 year-old.'' She defended herself.
''19 year-old's want to hear praise, Viv. They want to be called star girls, not receive a lecture.'' Beth quickly replied, with a smirk.
''Y/N, it was useful, right?'' The older striker turned towards the teenager.
''Yeah, Y/N, tell Miss Miedema how useful her advice was.'' Beth chorused her words, grinning from ear-to-ear.
The youngster simply glanced between the two of them, before picking up her empty plate and standing up from her seat. ''I'm taking this as my sign to leave.''
She ignored their pleas with a satisfied grin, making her way to the kitchen to dump her plate, and walking back to her room.
The couple watched her depart, sharing a knowing look, a hint of amusement dancing in their eyes. ''She's gonna call Kyra, isn't she?'' Vivianne chuckled.
''She so is.'' Beth agreed with a laugh.
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requests are always welcome!
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not-goldy · 2 days
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/748392902553649152/httpswwwtumblrcomnot-goldy748386443834048512?source=share
Let's make one thing clear i wasn't the og anon who asked you about the "did jungkook said all those vile things to jm" but i did saw it so i commented on it and i stand by the fact that making fun of someone's looks when the said person is insecure about his looks is "evil" cause it is. The male treat e/o differently bs you can keep to yourself cause teasing is one thing but making fun of someone's insecurity is not the same get that fact clear.
Did i anywhere said jungkook is not jimin's friend? NO i did not so idk exactly what y'all are yapping about. Did i say "And jk is the standard of love for jkkrs" refering to his past self which jkkrs romanticize and glorify? Yes i did. so now what all it means is i said jungkook is not "the partner" for jimin and i never commented on their friendship and there's difference between friendship and romantic relationship. You can't always chose your friends or even best friends as your romantic partner cause you don't feel it and it doens't work like that. Just because someone's friends with you doens't mean you see them as your partner cause you want more and different. Also the ppl who says we make jm looks pathetic nahh bro fact here is it's you who love the "jm fell first jk fell harder" edits not us. Jm is sweetheart with everyone and he especially takes care of his younger ones, he babies V too who's literally 2 months younger than him. Just because jk learned how to be nice over the years doens't mean it can erase what he said when he was 18-19-20 yrs old. He did say all those things to jm it is what it is.
About the anon who said you have been waiting for jm and jk to reveal their partners from 2017 cause ppl said so then you and those people both are dumb cause why on earth would you think they're gonna reveal their partners at their peak?? By revealing their partners i completely mean them officially introducing and CONFIRMING their partners which is also not the case with taennie (i know they dated but they never confirmed so doens't fit in what i mean). Like they debuted in 2013 and you were expecting their partner's official reveal in 2017 cause some ppl said so? Lol. But here i say wait for some more years. Let them get to the age of 35-40 and you'll see. And the list you posted to show how jungkook treats jm can be applied to how jungkook treats other members too then, so maybe he's dating them too (again except one gcft yet). Btw we all did saw jungkook with a woman at night in his apartment, back hugging her....yes he doesn't have a gc now but does that earse the exsistance of that video? The times when jkkrs were like "he's missing his love of life jm" while the guy was having women at his home? Sure. He was missing jm so much that rather visiting jm at any of his sets or anything like other members jungkook was at home doing lives singing songs live..i see how much he was missing. I'm not telling this because i expected that from him it's because y'all make big deal out of nothing.
Anyways, idt y'all gonna be here after those many yrs but if y'all stay I'd love to see that reaction.
Again with the anachronisms
I'm running out of patience here-
When did you find out Jimin was insecure about his looks??? 2013, 2014? 2015 when he was in his hypermasculine state doing 360 flips in the air, flexing his biceps, talking bout girls chasing him, when he was strong confident in his masculinty and showing it off- is this the same year he opened up about his vulnerabilities???
In fact when did Jimin discuss this self image issue???
And when was Jungkook teasing Jimin????
Making fun of his insecurities bitch you're crazy. Lost it. Pulling stuff from your ass get a life cos your whole existence is an illusion.
In your crazy delusional head what did you think was happening???
Poor poor insecure Jimin walking around shy hiding from people explaining to everyone he has body image issues while his younger maknae followed him around pointing to him telling the world his biceps was fake his abs had been drawn on????
Same Jimin who had the hyung line busting their ass off to catch up? Same Jimin whom the company used as a model for the others to emulate Same Jimin whom the company preferred him showcasing his gorgeous body and the others had to work had to attain his level of physique but even that they were still passed over for Jimin???
Same Jimin?????
Use your brains for a sec, with the way he looked and the way he carried himself around who could tell he was feeling insure??? You only know that NOW years forward into the future when he opened up and not the actual moment it was happening.
You think Jungkook would play like that with him if he knew any of that ? And ever since he'd become like that- well as you put it, he's been "nice".
Well well well
Again confirming my diagnosis of you and your kind
"Just because JK has learned to be nice over the years don't erase what he said and did when he was 18 19 20
Actually he was 15, 16, 17 you creep.
Also you are not saying anything we don't know. Like I said WE KNOW HOW YALL WORK you not difficult to figure out.
At least you admitting he's a nice person others of your kind have a hard time admitting that.
If you want to Judge a grown man you claim is nice over his playful ribbings with HIS FRIENDS WHILE HE WAS A MINOR that's your crazy to deal with.
But do tell that to your new recruits and the impressionable minds you try to twist and brainwash like the fine Tuktukker relative you are.
I simply disagree with you. That's all.
I don't see any of what he said and did as malicious. He did it with everyone and especially Taehyung. Jimin simply wasn't comfortable with that which is fine because he's after all not a very typical or traditional male in every sense of the word and how was Jungkook to know he couldn't just toss him around and throw him in the air and break his back like he was doing his other friends.
We all have our idiosyncrasies and I think BTS work so well because they have learned to respect eachother's boundaries- well some of them.
I think if that was Jimins boundaries he is entitled to his boundaries and all anyone can do is respect those boundaries.
But I'm starting to also appreciate why JK solos would equally hate Jimin and Jimin stans like you.
I mean for one he was also constantly disturbing that dude trying to kiss him and bug him when CLEARLY JUNGKOOK ALSO DIDN'T WANT THAT especially as it was done publicly. For an introverted fella I can see how stressful that whole experience must have been for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Poor poor guy 🥲
Respect goes both ways Anon.
You can't insist on your boundaries while also constantly pushing someone else's. Especially since Jungkook was the shy type and didn't like being the center of attention. If someone doesn't want to be bothered or doesn't want to be friends with you you leave them alone. You don't act sad about it on camera and inadvertently put your fans on their back.
I'm open to discussing all the toxic things Jimin did as a teen with you since you enjoy living in the past but ll rather redirect you to another toxic Jk solo who is equally stuck in the past as you so you two can take each other out.
For me, jikook grew and I grew with them.
Take care.
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fluideli123 · 12 hours
Text
Sonadow Fic Rec
Okay, before you jump down to the masterpieces listed below, I just wanted to state this:
These authors have given this phenomenal content for free, baked with time and effort. I have never once ignored this, hence why I try and comment on each and every one of these fics. However, my energy and ability to be verbose differs day to day. Some of these fics I have not given proper comments for, despite this, I will be on it the moment I can be. In the time being, (once I am able to find my comments on each of these fics) I will be sharing my adoration for them further in other posts (and most likely link back to this one).
With that being said, please, PLEASE take your time to check each of these fics out. If they're not your cup of tea? Valid! But hands down I have never dedicated myself to making a fic rec like this until now. But I MUST share and spread these works, they are much too dear to me not to, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
(All fics are listed by order saved in my bookmarks, not in the order read)
tangled threads and bite-marked shoulders by @rubyiiiusions
Words: 32,287 | Series | Complete
Shadow hissed in pain. The laser had just grazed him, but it still stung, and he instinctively gripped the wound it left on his arm. “You dare-” He stopped. The laser hadn’t hit him. In fact, it had struck Sonic, right on his lower left arm. So why did his forearm feel like it just got shot? He whipped around, fear climbing up his throat, and he suddenly became hyper-aware of something new. It was like a sixth sense, feeling the confusion that emitted from Sonic’s fur in waves as if it was his own. “What did you do?!” Shadow snarled. or, eggman accidentally soulbinds shadow and sonic, and no one has any idea how to undo it.
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Sleepwalking by Tirainy
Words: 22,117 | Complete
'There is a strong arm curled around his torso, the appendage keeping him close to its owner, whose warm breath is ghosting over the back of his neck. Sonic is sure he went to bed alone the previous night, but he isn't worried about the intruder. After all, this isn't the first time this has happened…'
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Secret Admirer by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 24,313 | Complete
Sonic understood well what it meant to be loved. He was a world-famous hero, after all; his presence never went unnoticed. For the most part, he lavished in that attention, he soaked it in and encouraged it. But not romantic attention. So, when the blue blur found himself falling in love? Well, the prospect was rather daunting, no matter how easy Amy had made it out to be. So maybe, just maybe, he should just take the easy way out...
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Rose Drops Series by @magicstormfrostfire
Words: 122,489 | Series | Complete
Love, Intuition, and a little bit of magic ensues as Amy sends Sonic and Shadow on an unforgettable adventure.
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Wolfboy by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 73,856 | Complete
World-famous monster hunter Shadow the Hedgehog has a job to do. It doesn't take long for the one-shot wonder to realize that this job won't be as simple as he'd expected: a small town, rumors of a lone werewolf, and a handsome, green-eyed, chronically-injured casanova who manages to worm his way into Shadow's heart... What starts off as a simple job turns out to be something much more life-changing.
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Blizzard Bedfellows by @magicstormfrostfire
Words: 21,294 | Complete
When a rare blizzard takes over the island, Sonic is on the run to make sure a certain angry loner is safe and sound. Y-you know, because...uh that's what heroes do.
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We never met but can we have a cup of coffee or something? by @whitejungle
Words: 3,630 | Complete
It's been almost two months since Sonic lost someone he didn't even know, but he can't stop thinking about it.
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Clean Slate by nottheweirdest
Words: 155,880 | Complete | Note: Squeal pending and I am cheering you on author!! Whatever you decide I am excited to support you!!
Shadow has lost himself before. He knows what it's like to straddle the line between reality and false memories, but this time, it’s Sonic whose memory has vanished. A premeditated set of circumstances and an accidental injury leave Sonic with no memory of who he is, his life, or more importantly, his painful history with Shadow. It’s up to Shadow to remind the hero who he is in the midst of a global outbreak. It’s a chance for redemption. It’s a chance to right the wrongs of the past. It’s a clean slate.
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say i reckon (i love you, for a millisecond) by @redamancering
Words: 30,205 | Complete
There’s a hand on his shoulder, barely making contact. A red gauntlet glows around the wrist. Sonic blinks, the pain having evaporated so fast he feels almost weightless. “Shadow?” Shadow’s breathing heavily. “Problem.” The retrieval of the ancient tech Shadow (and Sonic, in tow) has been sent to uncover takes a turn for the worst. In this case, the “worst” means… becoming physically and inextricably linked to each other. For the foreseeable future. OR: Metaphysical handcuffs, and general gay buffoonery.
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Judge my sins, not my feelings by yellothebeeloved
Words: 228,479 | Complete | Note: Possible one-shots pending from the author for the series, I am here to support you author!! What ever you decide I'm here for it!
Maybe he's not meant to touch. It's the newest excuse he thought of in hopes that he could prolong the game a little more; a careful ruse to enjoy the bittersweet torture of seeing the days pass them by, while he pretends he doesn't seek azure blue whenever he's restless. At first, all he wanted to do was watch: but now the desire to touch, to have, to affect is at a point where he's not sure whether reaching for Sonic would truly be fruitless. He wonders that especially when Sonic's eyes light up upon seeing him. When he corners Shadow, when he invades his space and he touches and takes and then excuses it by calling it a fight. Shadow truly wonders then: if only he was brave enough to reach out, what would his grip find? Loose stars or a battle-worn body? Standing up, he glances at Sonic again, whose eyes have now met his own. There's something heavy in the eye contact, something Shadow doesn't dare name. Neither of them say anything, and yet Sonic's eyes move away from him again, like they did. Shadow warps away, hiding from the stars once more.
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Child of Prophecy by @trenchcoat-gecko
Words: 139,321 | Completed
On the night the Mobius Castle was ransacked, the Queen received a prophecy. “One of three will not cry; send him down the river, for you can only save your kingdom if he does not grow up royal.”
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Coming Home by nottheweirdest
Words: 55,740 | Completed
Shadow's life has been full of mistakes, some worse than others, but admitting his unrequited feelings to Sonic tops the list. He's spent the better part of a decade ruminating on his regret and hiding from feelings he couldn't bear to face. He never thought he'd see Sonic again, and he told himself that was for the best. Until now. At the bequest of his former rival, and in an attempt to finally get closure, Shadow has returned to Central City. The reason? Sonic the Hedgehog is marrying Amy Rose. And Shadow is invited.
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eloise-t-g · 13 hours
Text
long post ahead. i wanted to respond to some of the things i've seen people saying about the watcher situation. i honestly just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest lmao.
"sorry, the bridge has been burnt and i can no longer support watcher" - valid.
"i'm happy with this compromise and will continue to watch their content" - valid.
"oh so they apologise, change nothing, and now people are happy to give them money?" - things have changed. they compromised and completely changed their plan for the new website. did you not watch the update video? they're also issuing refunds to anyone who wants one.
"i bet people who over-reacted feel real stupid now!" - some people over-reacted, but a lot of people had valid criticisms and concerns. they shouldn't feel stupid if they expressed it in a non-abusive way.
"yay, we successfully bullied them into changing their minds!" - you're ... you're proud that you bullied someone? this isn't fucking elon musk or jeff bezos. these guys aren't multibillionaires exploiting their employees. these are three youtubers who want to pay themselves and their employees a living wage, while making content they're proud of, and they made a simple fucking mistake. stop throwing around the term 'eat the rich' as though it applies here.
"the apology video is clearly PR!" - yes, watcher is a business. this is how a business responds to situations like this. they had abuse hurled at them for 48 hours straight, they shouldn't feel bad for wanting to make sure everything said in the video was 100% agreed upon and analysed beforehand.
"steven was clearly the one behind this, he should be fired or step down!" - was he? do you know that for a fact? cause from what i saw, all three of them got in front of the camera and made the announcement video together. i agree that he should step down as CEO, but only because they clearly need someone who has actual business experience leading them (if you remember, ryan and shane stepped down a while ago because they didn't want to deal with that side of the company anymore - in the same video, they thanked steven for being the sole reason watcher was still going).
"they shouldn't have been silent the whole weekend" - maybe so, but it's clear they went into lockdown/crisis mode. also, businesses aren't open on weekends. i think it's fair that they waited until monday and took their time with it. maybe they should have tweeted something like "we're sorry and we're working on an explanation", but that just would have given people another place to attack them.
"you're all being parasocial" - i've seen this used against both people who are supporting/giving the team the benefit of the doubt, and people who are against everything. a lot of people (myself included) have used this experience to realise they were developing/had developed a parasocial relationship with these men. this is a good thing - it allows us to recognise these things and make changes within ourselves.
i think generally people are more parasocial towards youtubers than celebrities in films and tv shows. YT feels like there is a barrier removed between the creators and us; it makes us feel like we know these people in a way that we don't know actors who are always playing different roles. YT makes it easier to believe we're seeing the real people, when we really don't know them at all.
"why should i pay someone who owns a tesla?" - you don't have to. also, steven has been working consistently for years. it doesn't surprise me that he has enough savings for an expensive car. people are allowed to own things that you and i can't afford.
"they're embarrassed to be youtubers" - might be true, who knows. but for me it feels more like they want to be taken seriously as filmmakers/television producers, and don't feel like they can do that on YT.
"there's clearly money mismanagement going on" - i think this is likely. i personally don't know what it's like to run a business like this, which is why i've been watching videos from other youtubers who do. since they're saying they don't know where the funds are going, i'm inclined to believe watcher's budget is way off what it should be.
"why didn't they initially say they were having money troubles and might close doors?" - i can see both sides of this. i believe they should have recognised that their audience would have been more receptive to this kind of honesty. however, if you're asking people to give you money, while also saying the venture might not work out, it doesn't engender a great deal of trust. why should i pay for a 12 month sub if it's possible watcher will fold in 6? who will be around to issue me a refund then?
"we were happy with blue and yellow text on a screen!" - valid, but it's clear that they weren't. they clearly want to push themselves further creatively. on the other hand, it definitely feels like they got impatient and wanted that future creation to start now, when they don't have the funds for it. they shouldn't have tried to force their loyal audience to pay for content the audience didn't ask for.
"i don't want to fund steven, andrew, and adam flying around the world eating expensive food." - very valid. i wonder how different things would have been if this 'Worth It' revival had come around 6 months earlier. it still would have been tone deaf in a global living crisis, but i don't think people would have been this upset. what i don't understand is them doing this show if they genuinely couldn't afford it, which is the implication i got from them announcing it just before announcing the paywall.
"why don't they move their office out of LA?" - that would be incredibly expensive, especially for a company that is struggling financially. they would have to uproot their entire lives, and would probably lose a great number of their staff who don't want to/can't move. they would have to completely start over, which is something i imagine they're desperately trying to avoid.
i think the cancel culture that has grown in popularity over the internet over the last few years has led people to believe that:
they can say whatever they want online with no consequences.
people aren't allowed to make a single mistake, and should understand that when they do, it's okay to for others to spew hate and awfulness towards them.
part of me doesn't even know why i made this post, i think i just got sick of seeing the same complaints and questions lmao.
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The date, part II
During the walk back I constantly tease you with the vibrator, bringing you to the edge but denying your orgasm. Your constant begging to cum and your whimpering after my stern "No" being met with my mischievous smirks. Occasionally I pull the top of your dress down exposing your tits, taking each nipple between my fingers and gently squeezing and tugging on them, making sure they are hard. Imake you walk a bit with them exposed before allowing you to cover them back up.
Finally we make it back, but before we enter I tie your wrists securely behind your back, and expose your tits again. As we step inside and the light flickers on you're met with the sight of the rest of your night. Standing in the center of the room is a single metal pole, I grab you by the hair and lead you over to it. Still holding on to your hair I reach down and remove the vibrator and the by now absolutely soaked panties. "Be a good slut and clean it" I say as I hold the vibrator up to your mouth, "that's my good slut, every last little bit" I command before tossing it aside.
Turning my attention back to you I grab one of your legs and lift you up. Guiding you onto the metal pole, the cool metal shaft easily sliding into your drenched cunt until your now standing on your own two feet by yourself again. With your arms tied behind you and a plug filling your ass you start trying to free yourself from the single metal pole now impaled in your cunt. Nothing you do frees you from your predicament, amused watching you I call out with a chuckle "that is why they call it a one bar prison, a single bar inserted deep enough inside you so that you can't just lift yourself off."
Exposing your tits again I massage them and make sure your nipples are hard before applying some clamps to them. "Shhhh slut, I'm just getting started" I respond to your cries. Once done I run my hand from your tits down your body until I come to your clit, giving it some gentle massaging. Watching as you close your eyes and moan while I continue, your first orgasm hits you.
"Tsk tsk tsk slut forgot to ask permission" you hear as your orgasm starts to subside. Grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at me "do I need to remind slut it must ask permission first?" I ask, "no, Sir" is the response to escape your lips. "Good, since you were well-behaved on the walk back I'll let this one slide, since you handled walking with my cum on your face in public so well. Hope those people enjoyed your little show" I chuckle.
After untying your wrists I unzip your dress and help you remove it. Now standing only in your platform heels and collar with a plug in your ass impaled on the metal bar holding you prisoner, you watch as I put the nipple clamps and your dress down on the coffee table.
Hope your enjoying this. I think I might have to make you earn a part III, but how so? A picture for the group? Detailed story of something slutty you've done? Or maybe if you ask nicely? Hope you have a good day (or night), and I look forward to seeing your response. - D
Omg I've never really thought about a one bar prison before.. but ugh, it sounds like so much fun.. being helpless and under someone's control like that 🙈 I'd be such a good slut I promise!! I posted a video of my cummy fingers a couple days ago!?? Does that count? 🤭 If not, there's no doubt I'll post more at some point this week.. I'd love to read the next part 🥺💖
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tiktaalic · 2 days
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I get the basic theories for tswift flop. But as someone who genuinely really liked Lover and Folklore and liked Evermore (if I remember correctly you did too, with perhaps additional fondness for Evermore), do you have a theory for how she dredged up that upswing before crashing so so hard to her lowest point?
I lovedddddddd lover. I didn’t even listen to it in the age of #hype I fully heard lover for the first time and was streaming it like it was my job in 2023. Folklore I like evermore I couldn’t name a single song from but it’s good I guess. My theory. I think lover and reputation are actually pretty similar quality wise. You show me reputation and say and then she made LOVER. and I go. Yeah okay. Some solid goofy chunks on both which is fine yeah Taylor let’s get goofy. Some solid bangers on both. Some solid yearners on both. I think. I think a lot about how her reaction to rep losing a Grammy was to immediately start writing a new album. Lover a direct response to reputation not getting rewarded. She was trying to outdo herself. And. I think. My theory. Is that a switch flipped at Some Point post folkevermore. Because people liked those I think I’m pretty sure people were giving those good scores. And instead of trying to Make A Better Record. She has since been trying to Make A Relevant Record. I think something happened to her and she got scared about failing at Being The Best Artist but said but by god can I churn out stuff that will make me the Most Popular Talked About Culturally Relevant Artist. I fully think she’s switched metrics because she’s thinking in terms of cultural capital. Idk WHY. because she’s doing fuck all with it except complain about it and ink nfl sponsorships to get More Obscene Amount Of Money. But I don’t think she’s approaching albums as art anymore I think she’s just kind of putting in the effort of a little hobby in terms of songwriting / performance. Because I do think she is experiencing more and more worry about being toppled, especially because she is, in terms of popularity, The Top right now. And she doesn’t feel confident in her ability to maintain The Top through quality bc her previous attempts at quality did not do as well as she wanted. There’s also the fact that quality requires time Away from the spotlight where you become less relevant. For an album that might not even do well. I think also maybe her lesson from red rerelease doing well was not “people like red because it’s good songs because I spent lots of time on it” but “oh people like 31 song albums”. So .
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lover-of-mine · 3 days
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I keep thinking about the Tommy leaving post and the Buddie being ready for each other post and I feel like there's a comparison I want to make here but I'm not sure exactly what it is but something about Tommy leaving because he was not down with that whole mess of date, understandably, but also Buck's boatload of issues still even tho Tommy came back & they're in this "maybe this could be the something I'm ready for" & potential issues that might crop up going forward like will Buck be hesitant still or dive headfirst or some combination, will Tommy feel like it's too much or just not working, will it be the thing that finally makes something click in Buck's head that he needs to go to therapy bc hey Tommy is different from his exes but the issues are still the same idk or he decides it's not working bc it's not the thing he wants but he's ready to figure that out so again therapy! but also when he realizes he's in love with Eddie & they could be it for each other he knows he doesn't want to make those same mistakes and the way to do that is to be honest with himself and Eddie and it's not perfect but they're both in it and self enough aware they know they can make it work together (therapy would be so good but also Maddie or Bobby have some wisdom here too) like a desperation almost of I love him and I want him and this is it for me but I'm so scared of losing it all and it's like well. What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna let yourself have this? I read a fic today where when they were discussing starting something but Buck was scared Eddie was like "we deserve to be happy too and being with you makes me happy" and that's all I want now okay sorry this is so long and probably makes no sense but I didn't know who to send it to I can stop rolling it all in my head over and over again send help or a sedative my god they make me feral and all these new ttpd edits are making it 10000x more
Okay, I see what you mean, and I am team Buck/Therapy first and foremost, but let's discuss Tommy outside the perfect queer Yoda people seem to have put him in. First of all, Tommy didn't come back, the energy that exists there is that there would be no second date if Buck didn't ask him for coffee (and Buck only called because Eddie told him to). I don't blame Tommy for walking away, the situation Buck put him in is shitty, but he did not come back, he indulged Buck in a coffee for whatever reason I don't understand. I don't understand why someone would agree to go to someone's sister's wedding after one kiss and half a date they walked out of. But what I'm getting from Tommy is that he's not gonna put up with Buck's bullshit just because he's cute. And Buck is diving in head first, asking someone to be your date to your sister's wedding after half a date where they left you on the curb when he's out to exactly 2 people is somehow crazier than buying furniture with Natalia, because at least there he had what? 3 successful dates under his belt? Buck is in the hamster wheel, this time with a guy. Dating a guy is bringing him clarity in some aspects of his life, but he is still showing the same patterns when it comes to dating. Will he break out of his pattern this time? Who the fuck knows. Realizing he's repeating these patterns and letting go before he gets in too deep, realizing he needs to work on himself, would be a major sign of growth from him, but Tommy pointing something out and making him take action works too, but I don't know what or how that could be approached. I was talking about this with someone last week, I'm pretty sure i sent them a voice note of like, 12 minutes on this, but do we trust Buck to separate the way he's infatuated from what he actually needs? That his bisexuality is his no matter what? Because I don't. If he's still that insecure about Eddie when Eddie has been stable in his life the whole time they've known each other, then I don't trust him with anything emotional, really. Could he wake up one day and realize maybe it was about Eddie, see what's in front of him and proceed to work through his insecurities? Sure, they could go there, especially with how intertwined Eddie is to bucktommy, make Buck realize his feelings, work through his insecurities somehow and realize he needs to talk to Eddie and that they will be okay no matter what. But the thing is, Eddie loves Buck too much. Like the post said, he loves Buck at his own detriment, so if Buck goes all weird on him for whatever reason again (which he probably would if he realizes he might be in love with Eddie, he would panic, 705 Buck would freak out if realized he's in love with Eddie) he's gonna internalize that, and that's something they need to address before there is any movement into making them romantic.
Because now that there's a real chance buddie is gonna go canon, they need to address some problems that were created between them, mainly the way they assume things about each other a lot instead of having an open conversation. All they need is an open conversation, I will accept if the show magically decides they can talk to each other now, that the issue was the denial, but Buck needs to ask for shit, he needs to talk when he's insecure, he needs to not let Eddie get away with assuming he's right, and Eddie needs to stop assuming he can read Buck's mind, he needs to call Buck out when he's getting in his head, and he needs to stop trying to fix past mistakes with someone else, they need to actually be able to address things that hurt them, because they will hurt each other, the question is how they work through the problems. Dating your best friend, even more after being best friends for this long comes with issues, the adjustment would be intense because they have an intense relationship already. And they both need to let go of the idealized version of what a relationship should look like they have. Can Tommy help Buck there? Yeah, absolutely, but he also shouldn't be expected to hold a grown man's hand through his own feelings, yk? Buck doesn't know what he wants and he's working through it, allegedly, so, like, there's potential there but I have no idea how this can unfold tbh. They need to get to the point where they're like "I deserve happiness" but also realizing that happiness doesn't look the way they think it does, that it's never gonna be perfect, but that it is worth fighting for, you don't find it, you make, works here too, but the thing is, you need to keep making it as long as you're together, love is not all it takes, the fight never stops. I've been thinking about this a lot too.
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tigermark · 16 hours
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sunny days ˖ ࣪⊹
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the chenle portion of my playlist series!!
pairing : chenle x gn!reader
synopsis : you and chenle have recently broken up, but all he does is long for you. one day, however, this longing takes over him...
genre : fluff, angst, second chance kinda??
tw : established relationship (ig???), mentions of break up, going back to exes (don't.), very dramatic story, chenle desperate asf lowk
a/n : first post of the playlist series!!! this was actually supposed to be a stand alone fic but then i realized how much a series like this would eat so here we are 😛
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chenle couldn't stand it. he couldn't stand the empty feeling inside him. he couldn't stand the ache lingering in his heart; the same one that had been there for the past week.
he hadn't left the house much in the past week, other than to walk to the convenience store by his apartment like he was doing right now. that was something he wasn't quite used to given the fact that he'd always be out doing things with you.
you.
the light of his life. someone he thought he would spend the rest of his time on earth with. he wasn't entirely sure what the reason of you breaking up with him was. it could be any number of things; finding someone new, falling out of love, finally realizing the flaws he had... it could've been anything.
chenle wished he remembered your reasoning, but he pretty much stopped listening to you after you said you wanted to break up with him. it would've hurt too much to listen.
even if it's been well over a week, chenle still has you running through his mind. you're all he can think about, in fact.
however he tries his best to ignore it, especially right now since your house is on the way to the very convenience store he's at.
should he go? no, it'd be stupid and immature to, he tells himself. but you're so close to him...
chenle knows he shouldn't go, but he isn't very good at holding back from temptation. instead, he picks up your favorite snack and goes to pay, practically sprinting out of the store once he does.
before he knows it, he's standing right outside your apartment complex. what the fuck was he thinking?
the thing is he wasn't thinking. well he was, but not about the logistics of everything. at this point, he came this far so why not go all the way?
and with that chenle walks up the stairs of your apartment complex, stopping at your floor. he stands at the top of the stairs for a moment, running his hands through his hair to hopefully calm himself. he walks over to your door and knocks. the same pattern he always used.
of course you immediately know it's him. you've been dreading this ever since he walked out that day. you can't just leave him outside though, it's cold.
you open the door, greeted with exactly what you thought you'd be. except he looks... different. like he'd been crying maybe. you can tell he was messing with his hair given how wild it looks.
"um..." is all you're able to say to him.
"y/n i know, please just..." he just stops talking all together. his eyes threaten to water but he sniffles the feeling back. he fishes the snack he bought for you out of the bag and holds it out to you with shaky hands. "listen to what i have to say."
you know you should slam the door in his pathetic face but you just can't. instead, you take the snack from his hand and step back to open the door further so he can walk in.
chenle's eyes meet your hesitant ones for a moment, immediately looking away. once he's in your apartment, you close the door to see him already staring at you.
"i'll be quick," he tells you as you nod in response.
you grab his arm and drag him to the kitchen, forcing him to sit down at one of the chairs pushed under your dining table. he sits down but you stay standing in front of him.
neither of you say anything. instead, you just stare into each other's eyes. chenle starts to feel tears welling in his eyes; he missed this so much. he finally breaks the eye contact, eyes wandering down to the floor as a tear falls past his lashes.
he doesn't even know how he ended up in your arms, but suddenly he is. "chenle i'm so sorry," you whisper into his ear, voice wavering. chenle lets out a choked sob into your shoulder, arms snaking up to hug your waist.
"i think i was just..." your voice trails off as you pull away from the hug to look him in the eye. "i wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. even then, this past week made me realize i wanted you back."
chenle nods, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. "i know," he manages to mumble. "but please... can i have another chance? i'll be better this time i promise."
you let out a small giggle between the tears which also makes chenle laugh. "you were always so good to me lele." he hasn't heard that nickname from you in a while. it felt nice. "it'd be a blessing to have you back in my life."
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