#• i miss my lover man | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keyotos · 9 months

Text

loved you every single day

summary ⎯ what is love for the xianzhou guys? that's basically it. very sappy and tender and sentimental.

includes ⎯ dan heng, blade, jing yuan

tana's words ⎯ hi...

dan heng

⎯ dan heng had a vague understanding of what love felt like. before the astral express, he never really knew what love really felt like due to memory loss. but he learned, eventually.

⎯ he found love when himiko always offered to make another coffee cup for him (this time, with the blend he enjoys). he found love whenever march/stelle would check on him during the late hours of the night, knowing he'd be buried in books. he found love whenever welt offered to shoulder the burdens of keeping watch during trailblazing missions.

⎯ but he has never felt love like this before. not with you anyway.

⎯ there was a sense of loyalty he had for you. of course, he was obviously also loyal to the crew, but it was different with you.

⎯ you made him want to follow you towards the end of the universe. you made him want to run with you into the light or whatever awaits the both of you later on. he was willing to do all of it.

⎯ why? a lame question to ask, he thinks. there are hundreds of reasons why, and he could list them easily. was your smile and the way it instantly warmed an entire room enough reason? or should he add onto the fact that you were practically made of stardust and cosmic radiance? that you have some kind of miraculous or even transcendental ability to string words so brilliantly that it manages to calm the harshest of voices down?

⎯ and love was scary for dan heng, at first. there were too many hindrances and difficulties in his life. for one, he could not let you get caught up in his past. he wouldn't: he would make sure of it. for two, he wasn't very used to love.

⎯ yeah, there was the express crew. but there was also you. dan heng thought that he would spend the rest of his life alone. he still has not settled into his room on the express because he reasoned that he'd stay until the archives until he was ready to leave. but you challenged all of that.

⎯ how is it that one person could make him want to stay by their side forever? how is it that you have such an enormous effect on him, yet you aren't even aware of it? every wall or barrier he's put up, you've always managed to erode it down. you allowed him to be vulnerable and you allowed him to be carefree. you allowed him to relax. to breathe.

⎯ loving you, was to breathe, for dan heng. you were the gasp of air that he needed while he was drowning beneath the waters. finally being able to decompress and unwind; he felt lighter around you. less stressed, less worried. less stoic. less somber.

⎯ he has never even thought of love like that before he had met you. but you changed him. and he is eternally grateful for that. eternally grateful for you. you are his home, his safe space, his sanctuary of security.

⎯ so he repays you often. he knows what kind of tea you drink and how to make it by heart. he makes a cup for you every morning. you have your own shelf in his archive. hell, you have your own damn space in there as well. there's an indent of you in every corner of every room.

⎯ or maybe, dan heng is so accustomed to you that he sees you in everything.

⎯ he lets you read from his shoulder. he has a shelf filled with all your favorite books from various worlds in his archives. he lets you sleep on his body rather than the flacid mattress on the ground, because he wants to keep you as comfortable as you've kept him. his fingers trace your body every night you stay with him, to ensure that you are safe and you are here, and he is home.

"are you sure you're comfortable like this?" you ask, situated on top of dan heng's body. you're partly afraid that you'll crush him with your entire body weight on him, and that his back would hurt after tonight, "wouldn't it just be smarter to crash in my room instead?"

his chest rises and falls underneath you, getting slower and slower as time goes by, "if you'd like. we can go."

you bite the inside of your lip in thought. it would be safer to do so, for both your and dan heng's safety. but, to be honest, you were very comfortable and tired. "is your back gonna be okay after this?"

"it'll be fine," he brushes off, "besides, you've been sleeping on me for the past few nights now. i can handle one more night."

"huh???"

blade (contains lore spoilers)

⎯ love was something blade has always lived without. as a child, with war and battles as a constant on his homeworld, there wasn't any room for affection or anything similar.

⎯ but then you came along, practically shaking his entire world. there you were, dragging him off to drink god awful mung bean soda. to force him to go outside on days where he was over-occupied with work. to let him enjoy something for once in a while. to let him rub his thumb over yours in the quiet hours of the night, forgetting about work and all other duties.

⎯ he had never thought that loving could be so easy until he met you. it seemed as though time would stop in his tracks whenever he saw you. blade thought it was a myth coming from romance novels (one he had heard from you, ironically enough), but it proved to be, in fact, real.

⎯ and everything was easy. up until everything wasn't. it was one thing, then the other. baiheng passed, jingliu was extremely distraught. it was wearying to see everything go so downhill, so fast. nobody was ever the same after that period.

⎯ yet even after all that, you still had the same look in your eye. you looked at blade the same way you looked at him all those years ago. so much has changed between the both of you, and you know that the both of you would never be able to return to the past.

⎯ though, even after all of that, some things remained the same. for example, the way you never failed to take his breath away. seeing you for the first time in years had him going through a plethora of feelings: distraught, appalled, and slightly less dejected.

⎯ but most importantly, there were still parts of the other's heart still beating for each other. even if you couldn't love him anymore, you still cared about him. you cared about him the same way you did all those years ago.

⎯ you went out of your way to find him. you went out of your way to offer him solace, even if it was for one last time. why? he didn't want to know, he didn't want to ask. he has a mission: he has to pursue it, always. nevertheless, he still found himself underneath the sun's rays, as it managed to follow him wherever, saying, "i'm here. even if you don't see me sometimes, i am still here."

⎯ and if you still cared... well, there was still hope, right?

he's leaning over a rail, looking over the xianzhou skies and the starskiffs racing by. he hasn't been back in ages. it feels... strange; it feels as if he's experiencing his first day all over again.

blade is so fascinated by the sight that he fails to hear your footsteps come closer, now reaching his side. he only hears you after you clear your throat. he's startled, for obvious reasons: but, when he sees you hold up a mung bean soda in surrender, he's surprised at how fast the panic dies down.

"aren't you going to arrest me?" he took a step back from you. you didn't move, but instead held out the drink.

"i could," you dragged out, checking your watch, "but... i'm not on duty," the corners of your lips turn up ever so slightly, like you were happy at the fact that you were having a drink with a criminal. you pull open the tab and take a sip, then offer it towards him.

he blankly stares at your hand. remembers the feeling of it in his. now, his mind is skewed. maybe even grotesque if he wanted to sound dreadful about it. but there are few happy memories he can recall, as well as the feelings during them, and it seems like you are recreating one of them currently. and oddly enough, there are no feelings of bitterness that follow him this time.

he takes and drinks the mung bean soda, and to his surprise, it’s not as bad as it was many years ago. maybe it was because your lips were on it, or maybe it’s because the once atrocious drink did get better. and when he looks up and is greeted by your curious face, he hopes that love is like that as well.

jing yuan

⎯ years ago, if you had asked jing yuan what love was, he'd say something benign: love is indescribable. a simple answer for a simple man in love. but oh, has time took its toll.

⎯ it isn't to say that love isn't indescribable. on some days, he finds it worrying that he may love you too much⎯that his willingness to give you the world was a bit concerning at times. others point it out, but jing yuan chooses to be blindsided. but he is always aware.

⎯ aware. jing yuan is nothing short of perceptive. he has been around for centuries. he has been there for wars, for battles, for decrees. and it sticks with him: forever. he does not simply forget, yet he is forced to stay in one place forever. immorality may be a blessing for others, but a curse for xianzhou natives.

⎯ he does not give himself a moment to fully relax. even if it seems that way a lot (the dozing general needs his power naps), he is always back to his duties.

⎯ however, it's different with you. with you, he has no burdens to shoulder. he has no secrets to keep from you. there is no wall of tension blocking between you. with you, everything is for grabs. his feelings, his emotions, his heart.

⎯ vulnerability. many look down at the vulnerable. and in jing yuan's line of work, the cost of vulnerability comes with a substantial price. his guard has to be up at all costs, because if not, there would be another catastrophe. his act as a lazy general is just a rouse, because there is so much that's weighing on him inside.

⎯ in a city that flies, jing yuan feels rooted by the weight of the luofu.

⎯ so imagine the amount of unconcern he feels when he's around you. the feeling of rocks suffocating him has subsided, and you are here to remove them. and one by one, he begins to feel lighter and lighter as you hull them off.

⎯ and you don't get tired. you're still here. you keep picking off the rocks, even the smallest ones. you relentlessly continue until everything is gone, and the only things left are just you and him.

⎯ by now, he understands what love is. it's when he knows how your fingers have ran through every crevice of his brain, every knot in his stomach, every knot in his soul. it's understanding. it's being able to shoulder the weight of the world with another. it's someone staying to help you get the rocks off of your body.

⎯ love is being met with soft touches instead of daggers. love is being met with mhms and reallys while retelling a story from this morning. love is being able to speak about the past, the truth of it all, and allowing the light to peek through instead of the darkness. that is what love is.

"and then, get this, i found him in the midst of a fight with blade," jing yuan throws his head on your shoulder exasperatedly, disregarding the fact that you were halfway through your novel.

"well, he was doing his job," you counter, looking back towards your lover.

"i know," he slides a hand across his face, "it's just tiring. and i don't want him to get hurt." like others, is the unspoken phrase here. it's on the tip of his tongue, you know it.

you place a bookmark in your book before shutting it. you finally turn your full attention towards jing yuan, "he's strong. you trained him."

"but," he sighs, "what if it's not enough?"

you decide the mood is a little too melancholic, so you decide to lighten the mood a little bit, "then i'll take over as general of the luofu," you grinned. jing yuan smiled as well: your smile was infectious, how could he not?

you ran a hand through his hair, "you are good enough. i hope you know that. you won't fail yanqing. he's tough and stubborn... he sadly gets that from you."

jing yuan chuckles, a real chuckle, and pulls you closer to him as you grab your book once again. he presses a chaste kiss to your temple as he reads along to the same words on a page as you.

yes, things will be okay, he thinks.

hi y'all! i have been sooo busy w sm stuff lately, like i've been preparing for college and i've been going to the gym and i've been doing sm. updates have been scarce except like the 3 alhaitham posts (i couldn't resist). but hopefully during these last few weeks of summer i can get my grind back on!!!

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #blade x reader #blade x you #hsr blade #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #im back from the dead #ive had sm stuff to do like i had the college talk td and man o man o man #tbh some of my metaphors DID NOT make sense. i wrote this at 3 am like all my other fics #missing when i used to pump out hcs before 12 am 🙁🙁🙁#honestly blade's is a little short but i'm still trying to figure out his character so i promise u blade lovers i will feed u soon hehe

2K notes · View notes

joejoeba · 5 months

Text

i just remembered how many gold ships there are in JoJo like it truly does not get more wild. Every one hits in some wild offshoot bullseye

#John and Erina ok classic old time romance BUT WAIT THERE COMES THE DEVOTED BESTIE WITH A STEEL CHAIR FOR 70 YEARS #Caejose. Never-to-be rivals-to-lovers wartime brief summer romance. If it was a movie it would be POV memoirs #Avdol Polnareff the brave attempt at gay inclusion even tho either one of them had to die and they couldn't be main focus #Man I miss avpol. Anyway #Josuyasu the most disgustingly in love couple of all time in the series it's obnoxious. No notes #Vento Aureo the ones who stole the show it's Bruabba. What if the jobro..... Had their own tragically doomed jobro!#Jolyne and the weirdly wholesome polycule doomed to always find and bother each other in every universe. With love. Ugh that gets me NGL #What if a cowboy and an Italian cowboy races to find jesus together fuck it throw in a British dino and a nun make it a weirdsome #These r my thoughts. Good bye.

290 notes · View notes

nevarroes · 23 days

Text

thinking about Cas potentially dying before Gortash does and Gortash going all the way into the deepest layers of the Nine Hells to spread his ashes so Cas can return home in the end. sniffs

#gortcas #im mr loverman and i miss my lover man💔💔

91 notes · View notes

jimmyspades · 24 days

Text

ENDLESS LOVE (1981) COCAINE: ONE MAN'S SEDUCTION (1983) THE FAMILY TREE (1983) A KILLER IN THE FAMILY (1983) THE NEW KIDS (1985) TUFF TURF (1985) LESS THAN ZERO (1987) JACK'S BACK (1988) SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE (1989) WHITE PALACE (1990) BAD INFLUENCE (1990) DREAM LOVER (1993) CRASH (1996) DRIFTWOOD (1997) SUPERNOVA (2000) THE STICKUP (2002) SECRETARY (2002) BOSTON LEGAL (2006) THE OFFICE (2012)

71 notes · View notes

evilyn-is-gay · 1 month

Text

So… Solar’s death right guys?

Yknow SolarMoon?

… guess what song fits em 🥰

They’re so queer coded

Textless version under cut

I hope you cried pookies

61 notes · View notes

mourningliliesmorningglories · 9 days

Text

"I don't really give a damn about the way you touch me when we're alone"

"You're ashamed of me." Remus' voice is barely there but it's cold and unfamiliar. Sirius stops in the corridor and all of a sudden it's darker, the scars on Remus' skin glimmer in the low light. No one wrote a book on this, because if they did, Sirius would know. All that occupies his mind is this condition. It feels like a restraint around him, like a tough pill to swallow. Sirius still sees Remus, he still sees the quiet moments they've shared, he still feels his hands on his skin. What he can't help, however, is seeing his shadow in the shape of a wolf.

"You can hold my hand if no one's home."

Sirius reaches for his hand yet Remus makes no move towards him. "I could say the same to you. But I don't. I won't." He's still, illuminated in the lamp light, breathing heavily. “Only one of us is a monster, Remus. And it’s not you.” Rationally, Sirius knows the moon is only days away, that this is so much harder for Remus than it would ever be for him. This time it hangs over both of them. Remus’ footsteps echo away from Sirius. Sirius can’t help but feel like it’s unfair.

"Do you like it when I'm away?"

Sirius feels on edge the whole of the full moon. He sits by the window the whole night, praying for a glimpse or a howl. Something, anything to indicate that Remus, his Remus, was okay. He knows it’s one night. One night, twelve times a year. The condensation from his breath pearls on the glass, illuminated by the moonlight. Sirius feels like the moon is mocking him - I’ll always have him in a way you never will. And Sirius should feel guilty. He really should. But Remus is his, wolf be damned.

"If I went and hurt my body, baby, would you love me the same?"

Sirius wakes up at sunrise. He doesn’t know when he drifted off to sleep but he knows Remus will be back. So he runs. Remus is asleep, caressed by soft sheets he knows Madam Pomfrey has transfigured. He’s lightly bruised and a stitched up laceration graces his left forearm. Sirius can’t help but think he’s beautiful. Sirius always thinks Remus is beautiful. Radiant. Like the moon. He crawls into the bed, jostling Remus awake. He blinks slowly up at the other boy. Sirius holds his breath. Remus concedes. He always does with Sirius. He pulls him in by the waist, and they sleep. Silly boy. He thinks this is what he wants, but he does not understand how it will hurt.

#harry potter #marauders #i couldn’t stop thinking of them and this song #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #im mr loverman #AND I MISS MY LOVER MAN #that is not this song but still applicable #sirius finds out about the wolf thing #remus is tired #remus is scared of rejection #remus is angry and i think more people should characterize him that way but this is a discussion for later #this is not my best work #but i digress #it is out of my system #i also think sirius doesn’t have to be immediately approving of the wolf thing???#they are both young it’s a lot to digest

56 notes · View notes

gingerdraw-blog · 4 months

Text

I got silly with the prompt generator AGAIN

TW Y/N IS HERE TOO AND THERE'S ALSO SHIPS LIKE LASERFROG AND RAYFROG (and also x reader AND JADE IS HERE TOO)(Y/N being a dumbass LIKE FR ITS STUPID) UMM SUGGESTIVE TOPICS???? YEAH YEAH SUGGESTIVE TOPICS

Ramon: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Y/N : I sleep with a knife.

Dolph: Both of you are pathetic.

Ramon: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Dolph: Bullfrog

------------------------------------------------------------------

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Dolph, with Bullfrog and Ramon behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Ramon: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Bullfrog: Y/N FUCKING FELL OFF!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N : *sees Ramon and Bullfrog together*

Y/N : They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Dolph: You mean... you ship them?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramon: Where is Y/N ?

Bullfrog : I'll do you one better, who is Y/N ??

Dolph: Here's a better question, why is Y/N ?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramon : Where's Dolph?

Y/N : Don't worry, I'll find them.

Y/N , shouting : Bullfrog sucks!

Dolph, distantly: Bullfrog is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Y/N : Found them.

------------------------------------------------------------------

(again but rayfrog version because I'm multishipper)

Dolph: Where's Ramon?

Y/N : Don't worry, I'll find them.

Y/N , shouting: Bullfrog sucks!

Ramon, distantly: Bullfrog is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Y/N : Found them.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramon: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Y/N : Milfs.

Dolph: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Ramon: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Jade : Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Jade : I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Dolph: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Ramon: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Ramon: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Jade : Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Y/N : What? No! It isn't!

Jade : THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Dolph: Jade ...

Jade : THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Dolph: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Jade : RAMON, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Ramon: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Y/N : THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Dolph: Y'all are dumbasses.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N : It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Bullfrog : Merry crisis.

Jade : Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

Ramon: Hoe hoe hoe.

Y/N : Guys, please.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Jade , writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

Jade : THERE. Now send it.

Ramon:: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-

Jade : JUST DO IT!

later

Y/N : So what does it say?

Dolph, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

Y/N :

Dolph:

Y/N : Gross-

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramon: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.

Jade : *looks over at Y/N and Dolph* Jade : Is it “sexual tension”?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Bullfrog : Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Y/N: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Ramon : Ya know... it might be.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramon , looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Y/N: Bullfrog 's in the kitchen.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Bullfrog , gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Y/N: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Y/N: Here you go.

Bullfrog :

Y/N:

Ramon : Why am I here?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: We need a diversion. I say Ramon gets naked.

Bullfrog : No.

Y/N: I could get naked.

The squad: NO!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Bullfrog : What did Ramon do this time?

Y/N: More like WHO did Ramon do this time?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!

Ramon , snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.

Bullfrog , deadpanning at Ramon : Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Bullfrog : How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?

Ramon : Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?

Y/N: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Thank you all for coming.

Bullfrog , wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here.

Y/N: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Y/N Task Force".

Ramon : Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Ramon : The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Y/N: Stop.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Bullfrog : Are you trying to seduce me?

Y/N: Why, are you seducible?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramon : I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Y/N: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Ramon , already taking off their clothes: God, Y/N, you’re so fucking stupid.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramon : Two brooooos!

Y/N: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Ramon : Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

Y/N:

Ramon :

Y/N: *tearing up*

Ramon : Babe, c'mon...

Y/N: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

Ramon : Babe...