#⟨ judith grimes ⟩ rest in peace‚ now get up and go to war. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justjessame · 3 years

Text

The Deal Chapter 60

I was walking with Daryl when the call came through about a longer run to DC. Arat, the Savior who had killed Olivia and another named Justin were trying to use a walker as a scarecrow. I sighed, thinking that being well meaning and yet stuck in the past were both going to get these people killed by one of the men I loved. Sure enough, Daryl put it down, and warned them, again that this wasn’t how things would run from now on.

Laura, another Savior, yet a far more malleable one, had warned us and that’s what brought us outside to the crops. Eugene and Rosita were working inside on something very science oriented, and I hoped that Daryl understood more of their ramblings than I did, because science was not my strong suit. As we’re making our way around the perimeter, enjoying a moment to ourselves, quiet and without a demand on either of us, he lets me know that a run’s planned.

“We gotta head to DC.” I nodded, this run had been mentioned before. Seeds, farming equipment, things that were necessary for survival in this harsher new world. “You comin’ or-”

Ah, he wanted to know if I was going with or would I stay behind here? “Someone has to keep Eugene in line.” I smiled, knowing that Eugene could get ahead of himself if no one was here to temper his more rash impulses. “Unless you want me to go?” Maybe he’d prefer I head out with him.

He huffed a big breath and a sliver of fear ran through me. “I thought if ya wanted to, ya could go to Alexandria and stay with Judith.” Oh, wait, what?

“Alone?” I asked, confused. Daryl hadn’t let me go out on my own since I came back to him. Aside from the few times I had bow practice in Hilltop, he found time to go with me, or keep me by his side. Being with him at the Sanctuary was disturbingly similar to my time here with Negan.

“Gotta meet them at the midway point, figured ya go ride with me there, then ya could head on to Alexandria while we go on.” I nodded, yeah, it sounded simple, but this wasn’t what I had learned to expect from Daryl Dixon since I’d returned. “I trust ya, Jessi, I know it don’t seem like I do-”

I smiled up at him. “I know you do, Daryl.” I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him down to my level. Brushing my lips against his, I felt him relax. He was so tense. “You’re just really really protective.”

He chuckled against my mouth and then dipped in for a more passionate kiss. Our inspection had taken us to one of the more private outdoor spots, and no one was around, which is why I didn’t mind when his hands ran down my back and started pulling up my shirt. Tossing it onto the ground next to us, I had his unbuttoned and added on top of mine in no time with his vest tangled in the mess. My hands fell to his belt as he went to the button of my jeans. Suddenly it was an urgency of need. The need for his skin on mine, the need for my mouth on his chest.

He pressed me against the building we were standing next to, and then he was inside of me and our mouths were locked together tasting one another like we couldn’t get enough. Since I’d come back, since I’d chosen him, love making between the two of us had become more frenzied at times, and we didn’t pull away anymore when Daryl was about to finish. We’d found it, I supposed, as he rocked into me, pulling his mouth from mine to bury his head in my neck to nip and suckle at my skin. We found the safety and security we’d wanted before trying to start our family.

My nails were biting into the skin of his shoulders as my climax roared through me, and his moan as his own rushed out of him made my skin tingle where his mouth was attached to my collarbone. He held me tight, feeling my legs shaking and knowing me well enough to know I wouldn’t be steady enough on my own. I felt as he grew limp within me, slowly leaving my body. My head fell back against the bricks of the building behind me and my hands brushed his flopping hair away from his face. I leaned forward and kissed him slow and sweet. I loved Daryl Dixon. If only, if only I didn’t love Negan too.

We dressed not long after, and Daryl’s hand met mine and our fingers linked automatically. Walking back into the building, I wondered what had brought on this newfound respect for my independence. I didn’t ask. I was just happy he understood that I could and would take care of myself and that I was WITH HIM.

The plan for the run was simple enough. Seeds, farm plow to use as a prototype for Hilltop’s blacksmiths, and whatever else could seemingly come in handy for our continued survival. I could sense that Hilltop’s relationship with the other communities, or at least with the Sanctuary was growing strained. Our fuel production wasn’t as high as our need for food supplies seemed to be. Add in the fact that Maggie and Glenn wanted Negan dead and buried, and well, there was some strain.

I hopped on the back of Daryl’s bike, knowing that Dad would bring me a horse to get to Alexandria from the meeting point. Leaning into Daryl’s body, smelling the leather of his vest, feeling the hard muscles of his stomach under my fingers made me remember leaving the CDC. Before our first time together, before Sofia, before the Greene Farm. Before.

“Remember,” Daryl started, and I smiled against his back. “No ticklin’.” I giggled. He took one of my hands from his stomach and drew it to his mouth for a kiss on my knuckles. “Love ya, Jessi Grimes.”

“Love you, Daryl Dixon,” I yelled over the roar of the engine as he kicked it alive. And we were off.

I didn’t have a long parting with Dad, Daryl, and the others. I wanted to get to Alexandria and Judith. So kissing Daryl soundly, and promising to be safe while getting his own back to me, I hugged Dad and Michonne and got on the horse they’d brought for me.

“I’ll come pick ya up,” Daryl started, and I smiled down at him. “Don’t wanna steal one of Rick’s horses, would ya?”

“Wouldn’t be the first horse either of us stole, Daryl.” Which made Maggie chuckle, and I smiled down at her in return. “Y’all be careful!” And then I turned and headed back the way Dad and Michonne had come.

I made good time, the horse being far quieter than the bike meant that I didn’t get sidetracked by many walkers. And the ones that came too close for comfort were easily taken down by an arrow from my seat. I enjoyed the peace of riding alone into Alexandria. The guard at the gate barely sniffed in my direction, so I supposed I could count that as a win. I made way to Dad’s house, not the same house we’d lived in together as a family, since it wasn’t there anymore. The horse was left with the people that Dad had put in charge of them, and I walked alone through the streets of Alexandria.

In eighteen months time, they’d rebuilt the community. When I first visited after they started to build it back up, I was shocked by the damage. Houses burnt, or fire damaged. The gazebo that Carl had hidden himself away at, torched and charred in places. So much destruction, and for what? To prove who was a bigger man? To be king of a mountain that no longer existed?

I’m sure Dad, and Daryl, not to mention the rest of our people, would have thought that seeing the carnage that Negan and the Saviors had inflicted would turn my heart from him. It hadn’t. Not even slightly. There were no rights or wrongs to this ‘war’. It was two groups of people led by two men who kept hitting and hitting. It was bound to go this way. I should have seen it in the clearing. I should have known somehow that me offering my life wasn’t going to be enough. I hadn’t, and that was something that I couldn’t take back. Nor would I.

I climbed the steps up the porch of Dad’s house, smiling at the easel that Michonne had set up in the corner for her and Judith to paint on. A painting still attached that had Judith, Carl, and me in her tiny scrawl. I took a moment to smile over it before I opened the door and walked inside.

“Hey!” I called out and my grin grew as I heard her tiny feet beating down the hallway to launch herself into my arms. Judith, my little sister, a tiny blonde angelic dynamo. The woman they left her in the care of smiled at the two of us on the floor, and I nodded as she said goodbye. “Now, baby Jude, what are we gonna do today?”

We spent time playing. Painting was something she and Michonne shared, so I played games with her. Finding a deck of cards and playing a version of memory, I laughed at how smart she was, clever. After lunch, she pulled me toward the door and asked to take a walk. Walks with Judith meant that she got story time, and that she got to tell me stories. I listened at her story about the birds who flew up high and smiled when she asked if she could fly too.

“I think, my little Jude, that would be a bad thing for a little girl to try.” She pouted and I giggled. “Want me to give you a piggyback ride?” Her grin returned with a nod and I crouched down and let her climb on. “You’re heavier than you look,” I grunted, standing up and swaying with her.

We walked along the streets, and when we got close to Negan’s jail, she pulled my braid. Ah, she wanted to visit the boogie man. “Go.” She demanded, and I saw her little fist pointing at the building.

I rolled my eyes, but went along with her demands. I planned on visiting him anyway, and she’d come with me plenty of times before. The guard gave me a look, and I sighed, but they didn’t stop me. They couldn’t. I didn’t have a key. I couldn’t have freed him if I wanted to. And Dad had let them all know that I was granted the right to visit. So screw you, asshole, I thought. I knelt down inside the house, letting Judith get on her feet, and take my hand.

When I came into the room where his cell was, the cell that Morgan had built, I had to let my eyes adjust slightly. There was light, but it wasn’t complete. And there he was. Sitting on the mat on the floor with a ball in his hand. My heart lurched. Even down here, looking like the prisoner he was, his power still radiated off of him, his pull still strong.

“Oh my goodness, I’ve been granted the pleasure of seeing TWO princesses today.” He smiled and stood up. I walked to the bars and my free hand reached for his. “Missed you, sweetheart.”

“I know,” I answered, looking down at Judith. “She wanted to come visit. Demanded an audience.”

Judith was smiling up at us. “You did?” He let my hand go so he could kneel in front of her at her level. “Well, I feel very special that you wanted to come see me, Princess Judith.” She giggled and he reached his hand out to touch her silky blonde hair. “You are an angel, aren’t you?”

She sat on the floor and he knew exactly what she wanted. What she wanted every single time she came with me to visit him. They started playing ball through the bars as I sat down with my legs outstretched around her. Saving the need to run after a batted ball.

They played and he talked to me. “You look beautiful, Jessi.” His eyes flicked to mine. “As always.”

“You look tired, Negan.” I said, feeling the worry creep into my voice. “No one has-”

He shook his head. No attempts had come on his life yet. “Floor’s hard as hell, but I’m fine, don’t worry.” I bit my lip. “Give just about anything to be the one doing that to your lip, sweetheart.” I felt my chest flush. Jesus.

“I think Daryl’s going to ask for us to be allowed to leave the Sanctuary.” I knew he was. He hated it there. Hated walking the same path as Negan with me by his side. “Not sure if he’d want to come back here.”

Negan nodded, smiling when Judith caught the ball perfectly. “Good job, princess.” His eyes met mine. “Where do you think he’d want to go?”

I shook my head. “Hilltop, probably.” I cringed. I had no fond memories of Hilltop. “Either spot is further away than-”

“I know.” Further away from him. A longer trip. Longer time between visits. “I know, Jessi.” His eyes were soft and I wanted nothing more than to hold him. To sit on his lap as he was playing with Judith, to take comfort from him and give it right back. I missed it. His casual touches, how it had been getting so natural between us. Until. I sighed.

“I should go,” I said, and Judith looked up at me with a pout. “I promise we’ll come back,” it was a promise to both of them. To two pieces of my heart. I stood and took her hand. Moving closer to the bars, Negan stood and pressed his face into one of the spaces, and our lips met. Not close enough, not nearly enough. “Bye.”

“Bye, sweetheart.” And then, quiet so Judith couldn’t hear, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I whispered. “Jude, can you say ‘bye’ to Negan?”

“Bye, Uncle-” I stopped her.

“Jude, you know you can’t call him that.” I admonished, pain flashing through me at the thought of it. “Just say ‘bye’.”

“Bye,” she looked confused, and I knew she was. She was a child, but she knew what she saw. Her big sister and this man in a cell had the same thing that she saw her have with Uncle Daryl. Shit.

My eyes met Negan and his smile was sad. He wanted it. To have the title. To have the same standing as Daryl, with me and my family, but without losing himself for it. We’d talked about it a few times. Going in circles. “Bye.” I said, fighting against the urge to scream.

Judith and I spent the day playing. She told me about the races her and Dad had, and how she won. How Mom would help her hide, how much fun she had with them. She chattered and I listened, loving that she wanted to share everything I missed during the time between visits. I missed her so much when I wasn’t here, but I also loved the fact that I got to JUST be her big sister now. Not a parent, just what I’d been to Carl.

We’d just started making dinner when I heard a knock on the door. Opening it, I saw Aaron standing there smiling. I liked Aaron, he and Daryl had easily become friends early on, and he never seemed to show as much animosity toward me as some of the others.

“Daryl and your dad wanted me to tell you that they’ll be back tomorrow.” I must have looked concerned because he hurried on. “Nothing bad, well, nothing overly bad.”

“What happened?” I felt Judith’s arms wrap around my legs and my hand absently went to her head and brushed through her curls.

“The bridge is out.” Shit. That wasn’t good. “They wanted to go back to the Sanctuary while we pushed on.” I let out a breath I was holding and nodded. “I’ve got to go home and see Grace.” My smile came back. “Have a good night, ladies.”

“Night, Aaron, thanks for letting me know.” And as Judith offered her own goodbye, we went back inside. “Guess we’re having a sleepover, baby Jude.” Her giggles carried me through the night.

#The Walking Dead #negan x ofc #daryl dixon x ofc #rick grimes daughter #OriginalGrimesDaughter #Smut

4 notes · View notes

neganandblake · 5 years

Text

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 184 - But then I found you

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she’s certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

MASTERLIST

Chapter 184- But then I found you

[Blake goes in search of Negan and finally finds him up on the rooftop. But the Saviour seems to have a lot on his mind.]

Blake had had an eventful afternoon.

It was strange to be back at the Sanctuary after all this time away. And yet in an odd way she had never felt more at home. Back where she belonged.

She hadn't seen nor heard from Negan since his unannounced absence, but knew that if she was going to keep Carl and Tara out of harm's way, then that was probably for the best.

She of course totally understood Negan’s frustration with how she had dealt with things. Blake had told him point blank that she hadn’t been ready to come back this morning at the white house when he had asked her, and yet here she was.

But despite understanding Negan’s anger with it all, Blake needed him to understand that all of this was for him and for Mia, to create a better life for both of them. Negan had build this place from the ground up and made it what it was today. But Blake just hoped that he would understand that the way to achieving a future without further death and bloodshed, would be to make peace, even with assholes like Rick Grimes.

Once they had finished in the canteen, Blake had showed Tara and Carl to her old room on the second floor where they had agreed to stay, with the protection of Dwight on patrol outside upon Blake's orders.

It wasn't that Blake didn't trust the Saviours, her own people. But she had seen the hostility the two Alexandrians had earned downstairs in the dining hall, and didn't want anything happening to either of them before she could make sure they were packed off home at first light tomorrow.

And so she and Mia had said their goodbyes and spent the rest of the afternoon searching for Negan.

The dark-haired Saviour was indeed a hard man to track down. And after getting side-tracked twice, once by Arat, who had embraced Blake, happy to see her back and looking well. And the second time by Tanya, who had gladly offered to take a sleepy Mia (who had dozed off on Blake's shoulder) to her room and get her ready for bed. Which then left Blake alone in her searching for the grumpy man.

She finally found him, after what felt like hours of wandering around the drafty Sanctuary hallways, up on the rooftop.

A place Blake had not been since she had told Negan the news that she had been pregnant, what felt like so long ago now….

So much had happened between them in such a short space of time, so much hurt and pain but so many good memories too.

Negan truly was everything to her and she breathed a sigh of relief looking upon finding him up here.

Blake stepped out onto the cold rooftop.

The wind had picked up, causing her long caramel hair to flutter around her, as she emerged from the doorway.

Negan was hunched over the wall on the far side, hand linked together, shoulders rolled forwards, staring out across the darkened Sanctuary lots below, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched firmly shut.

He looked like a man deeply resigned to something and Blake had to admit she was more than a little nervous to find out what.

She took a step forwards, letting the door behind her clatter shut, clutching her arms tightly around herself as the wind bit at her.

“It’s freezing up here…” she mused in gentle voice, knowing full well Negan was aware of her presence. Yet it unnerved her a little that he hadn't turned around and acknowledged her, a nervous feeling gnawing at the pit of her stomach.

Maybe he hadn't forgiven her for bringing them here. Maybe he had changed his mind….

But what choice had Blake had?

If she hadn't have come with them, Carl and Tara would have just come here without her. And what would've happened then? Something far worse than the pair of them sleeping in a nice cosy room downstairs that was for sure.

The blonde tilted her head, approaching Negan slowly and coming to stand beside him, staring out a the same expanse of lot below, resting her forearms on the cold wall before her.

The pair were quiet for a long couple of minutes, both just gazing at the blackness ahead of them, beyond the lots, where there were no lights for miles around. Nothing but the darkness.

“I’m sorry,” Blake whispered finally, chewing on her lip and glancing Negan’s way. “I know you're still mad-”

“I ain’t mad, Darlin’” he sighed, immediately cutting her off. “My head is jus’ full of shit right now is all.”

He reached up and ran a hand down his long, stubbly face, squeezing his eyes shut for a second or two as Blake peered at him.

He licked at his lips before dropping his gaze to his hands still clasped before him.

“That kid….Grimes’ kid...his daughter….” he said, a hurt, sad sort of frown adorning his brow now, as he shook his head “....she’s only gotta be...what....Beansprout’s age?….”

He trailed off, his mouth downturned into a grimace, as he hung his head low, his rounded shoulders hunching even more. “Fuck...she’s just a damn baby. Hell, they both are. An’ I dont wanna….” he huffed, ”....shit….”

He hissed out a breath as Blake blinked at him curiously, parting her lips, as he stood up straight finally, his dark hazel eyes meeting finally with hers.

And Blake could see instantly that this was a man that had been thinking hard about what he was about to say, a sadness and a loss plastered over his gaze, that hadn't been there earlier.

“I can’t hurt those kids Peaches. I don’ fuckin’ want that. I never fuckin’ wanted that. Shit, all this…. It was never fuckin’ supposed to be like this. I was never supposed ta’...”

But Negan let his head drop forwards again, squeezing his eyes shut.

Blake stepped forward, her green eyes searching his lined and tired-looking face and the sheer exhaustion that lay upon it.

“It’s ok,” she whispered caringly, pressing her palm to the his chest, to the place just over his heart. “This shouldn't all be on you-”

Blake knew that was the truth now.

Fuck.

It had been a mistake bringing Carl and Tara here like this.

But Negan lifted his own hand and quickly grasped a hold of the hand Blake had pressed against his chest and brought her digits up to his chin.

“But it fuckin’ is, Peaches. You’re right. You were damn right all along an’ I shoulda’ fuckin’ listened to ya. Hell, this world is a goddamn shitshow. You an’ I both know that. But those kids….they shouldn’t have ta’ live in a fucking world like that...where you’ve got people at war with each other all the goddamn time,” he said staring into Blake's eyes with urgency.

The blonde’s heart pounded now.

Here Negan was, so intense, so decided.

But his decision here could change their lives. For better or for worse, Blake wasn't sure. But regardless, it was a huge risk for anyone in this world, especially Negan, with what he had built.

And yet here he was, doing this, not for her….but for Mia, and for Judith, and all the kids that had the potential to suffer the most in all this.

Blake pushed herself close to him, lifting her other hand to his bearded cheek.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked quietly.

But Negan, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing her knuckles affectionately, let out a long hard sigh as he closed his eyes for another brief moment.

“No, I ain’t…” he said in a tired voice. “....but I know I’ve gotta fuckin’ try. For Beansprout….for you,” he said licking at his lips harshly. “Shit. Y’know, when my wife died, back then…..I thought….I thought that was it, thought I wouldn’t get a fuckin’ chance to have what everyone else had. A damn family. Kids of my own to care about. An’ yet here you both are. I fuckin’ found you. An’ I ain’t about to risk all that for my own goddamn pride anymore.”

Blake gave an understanding nod, feeling a swell of love for the man before her.

And she was silent for a moment, on that cold rooftop, as the wind whipped through her long blonde hair tangling it around her face. But Negan, almost instantly swept it away with a flick of her own free hand, brushing it back against her head softly.

He truly was her soulmate, through and through, and Blake had never been more certain that he was the person she was supposed to have found in this world. Never been more certain that the cruel realities of this world had brought her to this place, to Negan, for a reason.

“I love you,” Blake whispered. “So much.”

And Negan tugged her into him by the back of her head, tucking her head underneath his chin and wrapping his other hand around her shoulders, holding her close to him.

From here Blake closed her eyes, feeling the slow drumming of his heartbeat against her ear. Feeling so safe and warm within his embrace.

And like that they remained as the seconds passed them by. Together. A king and queen reunited again.

Blake knew that now. And so did Negan.

“Shit, Peaches,” he murmured finally after a moment or two, pulling back with a stiff sigh and eyeing her, his hand sliding over her cheek cold affectionately. “Let’s get inside before I fucking freeze my damn nutsack off out here.”

Blake gave a nod, her face breaking into a small smile, as she took his hand, allowing him to lead her back inside, out of the cold once more…

...back into the warmth of the darkened Sanctuary hallway. Where they both belonged..

………………………………………

#negan #negans-network #jdm #twd #The Walking Dead #negan twd #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #negan oc #negan otp #negan and blake #jdm oc #negan x oc #negan ofc #negan fic #negan fanfic #walking dead

89 notes · View notes

carlgrimeschandlerriggsimagines · 6 years

Text

Don’t leave me Carl (Carl grimes)

Word count:811

I’m sorry for this..I know his death hit us hard and it shouldn’t of happened and honestly, I don’t know if I’m going to continue watching the show after this But I will still write imagines don’t worry. I just have one more thing to say...Fuck scout gimple.

I climbed down the ladder into the sewers following Rick he helps me down I look down the tunnel I see everyone and I see Judith I smiling, happy that she made it, I walk down the tunnel nodding to everyone, then I see someone else a new person Rick gives him a strange glance “I brought him back”I hear Carl say weakly I look to my left, he is sitting there his face pale and sweaty I kneel next to him “Hey baby girl”He says “Hey”I say “It has to happen..”He says he slowly pulls up his shirt and removes a bandage showing a bite I choke on a sob “No”I say Carl grabs my hand “Its gonna be ok”He says he kisses my hand I run my fingers through his hair not caring about how sweaty it is I kiss his forehead

1 hour later

Carl head lays on my lap I stroke his hair lightly as he sleeps we’ve cleaned his wound, knowing it won’t do much, but It was worth a try I let my tears fall quietly I hear Rick and some of the others talking about going to the hilltop “What about him?”I ask quietly Rick kneels down in front of me hesitantly “He may not make it there”He says and pinches the bridge of his nose “We can’t leave him Rick”I say my voice weak he kisses my head “It’s gonna be ok”He says Carl shifts in his sleep I pretend not to notice Rick reaching for his gun I feel his forehead “God it’s getting worse”I say he lets out a cough into his hand “Y/N”He says “Yeah”I say “End this..please end me”I say I bite my lip holding back a sob at his words “No I can’t”I say “I don’t wanna turn into one of them and I don’t think I can make it any longer”He says weakly Rick nods “Are you sure Carl?”He asks trying to hold back his tears “I’m sure”Carl says weakly He grabs my hand “Take care of Judith please”he says I nod “Forget baby girl forget about me”He says I shake my head “I can’t”I say “Its gonna be ok Y/N I promise”He says I kiss him one more time I feel his soft lips I cup his head “I love you so much Carl”I cry “I love you too Y/N”He says tears spilling from his eye “Close you eye Carl just try to sleep”I cry He closes his eyes relaxing “Goodnight Love”He says I take out my knife and put it to his head “Goodnight”I say

Then I end him

I let out a sob as I felt him go limp and his whole body goes pale Rick takes his body holding it close and hugging it crying Michonne helps me up and hugs me “Its ok its ok”She repeats over and over again as I sob I will never forget the boy who I loved the boy who saved me the boy who died too young.

6 months later

I sit in the corner of Carl and I’s room holding a bottle of wine I take another sip as more tears fell we won the war Negan is now dead, but sadly so was Carl we won, but yet I felt like I lost I heard a knock at the door “Fuck off”I say taking another sip of wine Rick opens the door “I said fuck off”I say “How much have you drank?”He asks “Why do you care”I say “Carl wouldn’t want you to this”He says “Carl is fucking dead!”I yell rick looks shocked at my words “And I can’t keep going without him”I cry I close the wine bottle and stand up “Rick I’ve lost everything! And he was the only reason I was still breathing and now he is gone because none of us fucking realized he left because no one cared enough to not, let him go on his own!”I yell “You were so busy trying to win this war that you forgot about your own fucking son!”I scream falling to the ground in tears Rick pulls me into a hug and I let out my sobs “I can’t do this anymore, Rick”I cry “Yes you can y/n I know you can he wanted you to keep going”He says “I should be with him”I cry “He wanted you here”Rick says I tighten the grip on his shirt trying to hold back another sob “I don’t want to be here”I say

1 day later

I sit next to his grave the cold air, sending shivers down my spine the moonlight illuminating the night sky a sign marks Carl’s grave reading “Here lies Carl Alexander Grimes Rest In Peace” “I’ll be with you soon”I say I pull the gun from my holster Rick took away my gun and knives but I managed to steal one from the armory I load it and put it to my head “Goodnight Love”I say quietly then

I pull the trigger.

#Carl grimes #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes smut #carl x reader #Carl grimes x reader #Carl #The Walking Dead #thewalkingdead #the walking dead meme #the walking dead smut #the walking dead imagine #rick grimes #Chandler Riggs #chandler riggs imagine #chandler riggs smut #chandler riggs fluff

455 notes · View notes

marvel-spidey · 6 years

Text

Carl Grimes Imagine - Already Gone (pt. 1)

This is my way of coping with what happened in episode 8x08. I have a LOT of feels and I just have to let it out :(

This was inspired by sleeping at last's cover of already gone by kelly clarkson, and I strongly suggest you listen to it while reading

LINK TO PART 2: HERE

Pairing: Carl x reader

Prompt: based on ep 8x08

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,557

As soon as the first rays of sunshine poured through the large white windows and reached the sleeping bag on the floor, I opened my eyes. With nothing but silence filling the bedroom, I stretched my body trying to get rid of my sleepy state. Staring out the window, I appreciated the atmosphere for a bit. The sky was clear, the birds were singing and a soft breeze entered the room. I took a deep breath and rolled over, instinctively looking for Carl, only to find an empty spot beside me.

Where was he? He always got up before me and I always woke up confused wondering where he was. Looking around the room, trying to find a clue about where he could be, I noticed a small note next to my pillow and instantly recognized the familiar handwriting.

"Went on a run.

Be back soon. I love you.

-C."

At least now I knew where he was. But everytime he went out those gates, I prayed, hoping he would come back safe and sound.

After getting ready for the day and coming downstairs, I realized almost no one was in Alexandria. Everybody was out there, doing their best to fight alongside Rick and win the war against the Saviors. So I decided to spend some time with Judith, I wanted to make sure she was safe while her family was away.

After some time reading her stories and watching her play I suddenly heard the gates opening. With my heart beating faster, I ran outside, hoping to see the familiar sheriff hat... and there he was.

His blue eyes met mine while he immediately started walking towards our house. I was so relieved to see that he was okay that it took me a moment to realize that his flannel was almost completely soaked in blood. Already thinking the worst, I ran in his direction.

"What happened? Are you hurt?"

"Hi", he said calmly, engulfing me in the tighest hug, "I'm... I'm okay."

I hugged him back and inhaled his scent, mentally thanking the heavens that he was back in my arms.

I pulled away so I could face him properly and look into his eyes. They were blue like the sky on a spring day but still somehow, they looked sad and I suddenly got the feeling he knew something I didn't.

He was different. His voice was lower than usual and sorrow was clear in his beautiful features but he tried to hide it anyway.

"What happened out there?" I asked him, trying to sound less worried than I actually was, "Are you okay? Why did you leave so early this morning?"

"Everything's fine", he replied quickly, looking down and avoiding my gaze, "I just... had something I had to do. Nothing for you to worry about."

He finally looked me in the eyes, giving me a forced a smile. He always did this, tried to hide everything he was feeling and pretended he was strong. But I knew him better than that. I knew he was upset for some reason but he had just came back and I didn't want to fight. So I decided to let it go, I figured he would tell me eventually like he always did.

"Okay, then' I answered, taking a deep breath and trying to forget about it, "go inside, take a shower, eat something. Judith and I will be waiting out here."

"I will, but come with me" he said, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers, "you can wait for me inside. I don't know where my dad and all the others are, might as well enjoy probably one of the last days of peace we have. I want to spend today with you. Please."

He had a pleading look in his eyes, almost like he was begging, it sounded like he was leaving or something and I suddenly had a bad feeling. But I was just overanalyzing the situation, I thought to myself. He looked tired and he probably just needed to rest for a while.

"Sure, Carl. I would love that."

I kissed him on the cheek and followed him back inside.

We spent the day playing with Judith, laying in bed, reading comic books and talking about our life before everything happened, just like we used to do when we were younger. I almost forgot that we were in the middle of a war with Negan and that everything could be over at any moment.

The night arrived soon and he decided he wanted to take a walk, said he needed to check on something.

I followed him outside and realized he was heading for the direction of the sewers, staring at the wholes on the ground. As I was about to ask him what he was doing we suddenly heard three loud bangs on the gates. We all knew what that meant.

Negan. He was here. His rough voice sounded through the speakers.

"You may be wondering why the hell your lookouts didn't sound the alarm. See, we are polite. But let's just go straight to the point. You lose, it's over! You have three minutes to open this gate or we start bombing the shit outta you."

Carl instantly grabbed my hand, reassuring me that we were gonna be okay, but at that moment I wasn't so sure.

"They got out." I whispered to myself, not wanting to believe this was really happening. "What are we gonna do?" I asked Carl, looking in his eyes and hoping he had some sort of solution.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna keep us safe. C'mon."

Before I could react, we were already running ahead and calling everyone's attention. Carl had a plan and he was so sure of it and if he was, I was too. I trusted him 100%.

"We need to make it look like we're escaping out the back. Go to the woods and cut the lights. Then we hit them and get away on foot. We just need to get the guns, get everyone else here, and we'll meet you there."

That was a smart move. Carl had so much of his dad, the courage, the intelligence, the leadership. His voice was loud and commanding, explaining the plan step by step. I had never seen him like this, ready to take the responsibility for everyone's safety. While he was speaking I couldn't help but smile to myself, I was so proud of him.

"Get going", he continued, "there's gonna be people in the infirmary that's gonna need your help. All we need to do is survive tonight, okay? This is my plan and you're all gonna do it. So let's go!"

Everyone nodded their heads and started running in different directions, ready to escape. We didn't have much time.

I was going to follow Rosita and Tara, when I noticed Carl was standing behind me without moving.

"What are you doing? Let's go!" I reached for his hand and started to pull him with me, trying to make him move but he didn't.

"I'm staying." he replied calmly, looking in my eyes. I heard sadness in his voice, and my heart instantly started pumping in my chest.

"What do you mean you're staying? No way! I'm not leaving you behind!"

"I have to! Someone has to distract Negan while you guys get away, we need more time."

"Okay, so I'll stay with you."

"No! I'm not taking that chance. I promised myself I was gonna keep you safe no matter what. I need you and Judith to be okay. Please, just go. I'm gonna be fine, I promise."

I couldn't believe him. This was so typical of him, I knew he was gonna try and be the hero sometime or another. I didn't want to leave him alone here, anything could happen and I wouldn't be here to protect him if that was the case. But deep down I knew he had to do this, for his dad, for all of us.

With tears already blurring my vision, I hugged him with all that I had. I wanted to stay in his arms forever but I couldn't, we had work to do.

"Please, be safe" I begged him, looking in his eyes and grabbing the sides of his face. "I know you can do this okay. I trust you."

"I know" he gave me a weak smile, holding me closer and touching my cheek, "if we don't see each other again I just wanna say that I love you."

"Stop! We'll see each other again, this isn't goodbye, Carl!"

Why was he doing this again? I didn't understand why he sounded like he was leaving, I hated the tone in his voice.

"I love you too, but this isn't goodbye." I repeated.

"Okay", he answered, looking down and nodding his head from side to side, like he didn't believe what he was saying. He was starting to scare me.

He touched my hair, bringing our foreheads together and I could feel his warm breath on my lips.

"You need to go now, we're out of time. Be safe."

And with one last kiss, he was already gone.

We both ran in different directions and I just prayed that the horrible feeling in my gut was wrong.

LINK TO PART 2: HERE

#twd #the walking dead #twd imagines #carl grimes #carl grimes imagines #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes imagine #the walking dead imagines #twd 8x08 #chandler riggs

293 notes · View notes

vizhi0n · 6 years

Text

Sawney - Part 35

Chapter Masterlist

If you wanna be tagged or untagged lemme know!

@jasoncrouse @kellyn1604 @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @lucifers-trash-stash @genevievedarcygranger @superprincesspea @i-am-negan-trash @negans-network @deviousginga @originalwinchestervamp @fatedwisp @collette04 @vinylmadwoman @imjustmakingsuffupagain @ladylorelitanyfanfiction @kijilinn @jeffreydeanneganstrash @chiwawha @romeomontvgue @mcnegan @hannibalssweaters @heartfulloffandoms @strangersangel9 @my-achilles--heel @crzcorgi @moonypetyr @jessiellong1987 @mypapawinchester @rapsity @negans-shtten-pants @toxic-ink @curlyhairedblueeyedangel @neganswinchesters @embracetheapocalypsewithme @gremlinfuck @lovingzombiechaos @castielwinchesters @itstotalyblue

Warnings: nothing for this chapter.

“Wake up.”

Someone was shaking her. A male voice hissed in her ear — Desa’s eyes fluttered, and she squinted as the blurry figure before her started to become clearer and clearer.

“Get up.”

It was Carl.

She could see the outline of his hat in the darkness, and the white of his eye and his bandage. The trailer was dead silent, save for their breathing. Desa was frozen, more out of shock than anything else.

Carl didn’t seem worried. A backpack was slung across his shoulder, and she could see that he was dressed, gun and all.

“What the hell?”

“I’ll explain after you get up. We don’t have much time,” Carl rose, gesturing for Desa to follow. She moved her hands — she moved them. They were no longer bound, the rope having been sliced. It finally clicked that Carl was helping her escape. Leave. Carl.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Do you want me to leave you here?” Carl replied, exasperated. “C’mon.”

So, Desa followed. They weaved through the line of trailer, ducking behind the main building before stopping by the high, wooden fence. Carl tossed Desa his backpack before pushing one of the beams to the side, creating a crawlspace just wide enough that someone as small as small and slender as Carl could squeeze through. Desa, being the same build and height as the boy, had no trouble following. They pushed the beam back into place, before heading into the woods.

Now, Desa could speak at a normal volume.

She stopped. Carl was a few steps ahead of her, and he turned, eyebrows raised.

“What are you doing, Carl?”

“Helping you.”

“Go back,” Desa said. “I can make it on my own. You don’t need to be out here.”

Carl trudged forward, taking his backpack from Desa. In a low voice, he said, “I’m taking you to Negan. I’m ending this stupid fight once and for all, before more of my people die. And you’re going to convince Negan to stand down, and let us live in peace. You’ll do that, because that’s what you really want.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

“I know that you don’t want me or Judith to die. I know that. If this war continues, it could happen. It will happen,” Carl stressed. He glanced around, before sighing and gesturing again for Desa to follow. “Just…c’mon. We’re wasting time.”

“I guess this is your show, kid.”

“Damn right it is.”

It wasn’t until the Sanctuary was in sight that Desa asked, “Did you bring a walkie?”

“Yeah,” Carl began rummaging through his backpack, pulling out a heavyset radio. She extended an arm, stopping Carl in his tracks. Through a gap in the trees, she could see the Sanctuary fence. Carl asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m not walking in there with you,” Desa said. “They’ll come to me, and before they get here, I want you gone. I’m not taking the risk of you getting hurt or captured. I’ll tell them that you helped me escape, and that’s it.”

“And you’ll talk with Negan about ending all of this?”

“I will,” Desa said, smiling. She raised the radio to her lips, thumb on the button. attic sounded, and she quickly spoke into the mic. “Is anyone here?”

Nothing.

Then, again, “Is anyone at the Sanctuary?”

“Here,” Regina’s voice, loud and clear, echoed back. Desa found herself sighing.

“It’s Desa.”

Silence. Then, Regina’s laugh filled Desa’s ears. The sound was joyous, and between chuckles Regina cried, “Well I’ll be damned. You survived! Good to have you back!”

“Is everyone okay? Simon, Negan, Drake…”

Static. Regina’s words were slow, pain laced beneath them. “No,” she said. “Not everyone is okay, which is why you need to waltz your ass back in here, now—”

Carl cried out. Desa turned just in time to see a man with the face of a biter fling a bag over the boys head, knocking his legs out from under him. The action was so fast, and Desa had no time to react before she, too, suffered the same fate.

The walkie dropped from her hands. Regina was calling her, yelling, words incomprehensible and muffled. The cloth bag was pulled tighter, and despite Desa’s struggling, she was overpowered and forced to her knees. Through a small split in the fabric she could see the Sanctuary, so close, yet now so far.

I almost made it.

Then she and Carl were dragged away.

“She’s alive. I spoke to her,” Regina hurried after Negan. “Something happened — the feed cut out. I heard yelling.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know—”

“Did she say where the fuck she was? West side or south side of the Sanctuary?” Negan pinched the bridge of his nose, the agitation in his voice masking his beating heart. Had he not cared for Regina, he would have strangled the woman for her brevity.

“She’s just…gone.”

In a bout of rage, Negan slammed Lucille’s end against the wall, crushing the plaster. Regina didn’t flinch — she waited, head ducked until Negan came down from his high and snarled, “Get a group together. We’re fucking searching the area—”

“It could have been Rick and his people,” Regina said. “They’d go after her.”

“If that’s the case, then Rick is fucking stupider than I thought. We torched his fucking place, and he keeps fighting back,” Negan snarled. “That fucker is going to learn.”

I’ll kill him.

Drake met him outside, a gun slung over his shoulder. He seemed giddy, long hair tied back away from his face. He glanced at Negan, smiling. “Told she was alive.”

Negan rolled his eyes and playfully punched Drake in the shoulder. Despite the situation, despite the numbness in Negan’s soul, he was…relieved. Happy. He didn’t know. The news was overwhelming him. He wondered if Drake was in the same boat.

“Did you and Desa ever have a fucking…thing? Did you fuck, I guess is what I mean.”

“N-no,” Drake stammered, face flushing a bright red. “We never had sex. She isn’t my type, to be honest. I love her like a sister. She’s family. That’s all, though. Why do you ask?”

“Curiosity.”

“Desa never had anyone at the Estate. None of us did — unless you were a couple before you got there. She never struck me as the type to want to settle down.”

“I got lucky, I guess,” Negan rolled his shoulders. He eyes scanned the horizon, and he paused. A caravan of trucks were approaching, speeding down the road, right towards the gates. Negan promptly whistled to the guards, and they sprang into action, getting into position with their guns ready.

He and Drake descended from the balcony, meeting Laura and Regina below. They drew their weapons as the caravan stopped, and Negan immediately recognized the familiar, crudely armored vehicles.

Rick.

Negan raised a hand, signaling his guards to hold. He allowed Rick to walk up to the gate, his own people emerging from their cars, ready.

“I’m not looking for a fight,” Rick called. “Not yet, at least. I’m looking for my son.”

Negan raised his eyebrows. Beside him, Drake gulped nervously before shrugging and calling out, “He’s not here.”

Rick ignored him. His eyes were on Negan, his stare unwavering. Negan approached, stopping only a few feet from where Rick stood. Iron bars separated them, but he knew that any one of Rick’s people had a clear shot at him.

However, it went both ways.

“I have nothing but respect for your son. I have no fucking reason to take him as a hostage,” Negan sneered. “Likewise, I could ask you the same goddamn question about a particular someone. Your son said that she wasn’t with your people, but I don’t believe that shit. Not anymore. Not when she waltzed right up to my fucking gate before someone snatched her.”

Rick fell silent. Negan was going to take that as a personal victory, but Rick’s expression changed. Wide-eyed shock and a bit of horror washed over the man’s face. Usually Negan would bask in Grimes’ uneasiness, but this time, it made him squirm.

“You about to shit your fucking pants, Rick? The fuck kind of look is that—”

“We had her. Desa. But she escaped. Carl must have helped her,” Rick looked back up. “Now they’re both gone.”

“And?”

“She said something about…people who were after her. People who wear the skins of walkers. Do you know about that?”

“Considering that I’ve been at war with your fucking people, I haven’t really had time to deal with ‘people wearing biter skins’ or whatever the fuck. So no, I don’t know about that shit. You think those people got her? Is that what you’re suggesting?”

“And Carl,” Rick straightened up, sighing. He glanced up at the guards, eyes traveling across the expanse of the Sanctuary.

“Yeah, Rick. Take a good fucking look at what your people did. It’s going to take us a whole fucking lot to fix all the shit you fucked up,” Negan drawled. “I torched your place, so I guess we’re fucking even.”

“No,” Rick snarled. He composed himself, before saying, “You have resources. My people have resources. We can find them both, together.”

“I don’t know where the fuck we’re going to start. I don’t want you anywhere near my people. It will be a selective alliance,” Negan said harshly. “I’m only doing this to fucking find Desa.”

“And I’m only offering because I want to find Carl.”

“If she’s with him, he’s in good hands,” Negan rolled his eyes, motioning for his guards to open the gate. “She’s fucking fond of him. And his sister.”

Rick stepped forward, and Negan stopped the cars from following. He added, “We’ll talk in the courtyard. Out here. Neutral fucking ground — you can bring two more in, the rest stay out and enjoy the fucking view. I don’t want you inside with my people. Agreed?”

“I can work with that.”

“You don’t have a choice.”

#vizhi0nw #negans thirst squad

20 notes · View notes

wclfwiife · 6 years

Text

Good die young || drabble

There was no way to describe the feeling that came over her as he lifted his shirt, exposing the bite mark embedded in the skin of his abdomen. Her heart stopped, sank, and practically eroded as she looked at the circular wound. She stared down at the small, clean perimeter and, for a moment, it almost didn’t look quite as fatal as she knew it was. The fake hope that her own brain was giving her seemed cruel as the aching wolf brought her eyes to meet the boy’s that matched his father’s; both in hue and at that moment, a shared pain of knowing these would be their last moments together.

Ash couldn’t even pretend to imagine what was going through Rick’s head as they all stared in silence after Carl revealed one of their gravest fears. They’ve lost their own before...it hurt every time, but this? How could they possibly come back from this? How would Rick come back from this? This hit them harder than anything they could’ve seen coming.

“That’s how it happened,”

She broke eye contact with Carl only to throw a glance over at the stranger sitting a few feet away. She knew in her rational mind that this wasn’t his fault, but right now, nothing was rational and the only thing she saw looking at that kid was rage. Her blood boiled and the fact that this person was here, well and fine, and her step-son was suffering on the floor of a sewer... the only thing she wanted to do right then was smash his head into the wall he sat so nonchalantly against. Forcing herself to turn back around, she took a deep breath and listened as Carl began to speak again.

“I’m sorry..I had to do it. I had to go back out there... it has to be worth something. This fight, it.. it’s got to mean something more than just killing people. We aren’t them, that’s what you said, right?” Carl looked back and forth between Ash and Rick, reminding them of their own words that have come from their mouths in the past. And he was right. They weren’t like them...they weren’t the Saviors. They had to be better than that. They were better than that... Carl knew it, which is why he had gone after the stranger. He wanted there to be more than just spilled blood and distrust after. Ash agreed with him on some level...but having known war most of her life, even before the world fell to the dead. There would always be another Negan around the corner. Another Governor...Another Terminus.... Battles didn’t end because one war did. The world was chaos before it was thrown into complete entropy. Having to accept this boy’s death now, sooner than any of them were ready to, it was leaving her with an entirely too acidic taste. All of this for a stranger. They’d all gone out of their way for someone they didn’t know at one point...but this was too much.

Rick took hold of Carl’s hand, he was crying, which made it that much harder for Ash to keep herself together. Unshed tears stung her eyes as she rested a hand on Carl’s leg, watching the interaction between father and son. She stayed silent, not only because she didn’t know what to say in that moment, but to let the two Grimes men have their moment of peace. She sat back, letting them talk, the words exchanged only faintly penetrating her ears. It was like a shield had set itself up to prevent hearing anything else from anyone that she wouldn’t want to hear. She was light headed and her stomach was lurching. How could this be happening? The kids... the kids were supposed to outlive them all. Carl was supposed to lead when she and Rick were gone. To keep going after tonight... without one of the most crucial members of their family, it seemed inconceivable. She listened as best as she could to Carl’s words, the boy getting more and more tired by the minute. The sickness was spreading in him...it was taking hold of his cells and killing him before their eyes. But he stayed awake, speaking to them like an adult, telling them what he believes this world can be...if they do the right thing. Like he tried to...like Mom wanted him to. When Carl mentioned Lori, Ash knew it would break Rick down further. She placed her free hand on the small of Rick’s back, feeling his heaving immediately. She kept the two men close, unsure whether or not she should give them space ... she touched the back of her knuckles lightly to Carl’s sweating cheek, pushing his hair behind his ear. She tried so hard to smile for him, but it just turned into a fallen tear. “It’s okay,” he breathed, taking hold of her hand with his own. She shook her head, no...it wasn’t. None of this was okay. Rick shouldn’t have to be saying goodbye to his only son right now. And she didn’t want to say goodbye to her step-son she’d grown to respect and love like her own. Judith shouldn’t have to say goodbye to her big brother when she already lost her birth mother...and Lydia shouldn’t have to grow up without ever knowing her heroic older half brother. None of it was okay...none of it was fair. It was all too much for the wolf to take in. They all had so much to experience together still..

Carl looked between them again, then over to Judith who sat somberly with Daryl as if she knew something was wrong and back. “I want her to have something better. I want her to be better. She can. We all can... you can.” His eyes moved to meet Rick’s. “Mom told me to take care of you when she died...now I’m gonna go take care of her. You once said that you’d always be with us. Well, now we’ll always be with you. I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, Carl.” Rick breathed, bringing Carl’s pale hand to his lips, eyes falling closed as more tears fell down his face. He didn’t want to believe that his son was dying...again. He didn’t want to leave this place knowing that Carl wouldn’t be with them tomorrow---that he wouldn’t see Carl’s goofy smile when he cracked a stupid joke, or even hear him reprimand his dad in the way that teenagers often did. He couldn’t accept that his boy was here in front of him, in pain, and there was nothing he could do for him..he couldn’t save him this time. And the painful realization that both his son and his first wife had both fallen victim to the dead in his absence felt like all of his ribs cracking at once. How many times could he fail the people who mattered most to him? And how long would it be before he did it again? His worst nightmare was coming true...he almost lost Carl twice already but this time..it wasn’t anything a surgery or blood transfusion could fix. He was already dead. “I’m so sorry, I.. I should’ve--” “Dad..no. Don’t do that. Don’t put this on yourself. I did it. I made the decision to go out there. You couldn’t have done anything. This is on me, and me alone. If this is how I go..then it’s how I go. I just wanted to do something good...have something good come of it. I tried..with Negan. I thought...maybe he could kill me and then you could all just be done. I’m dying anyway. I don’t have much time left ... but I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault but mine. I let my guard down...I’m sorry. But I want you to keep going, Dad, you have to. You have to finish this..so you can create something better after. For Judith..and for Lydia. And all the other kids out there. They deserve it.”

--------------

Almost an hour had passed and Carl was getting worse. He wouldn’t survive the night at this rate, especially with his wound being a few days old already. Rick and Carl kept talking to each other, people came over to say their goodbyes and tell him how much they would miss him, etc... Daryl came over to talk to him for a bit, told him what a good kid he was...how he was proud of him. Michonne came to sit by his side for awhile, too. Judith came to sit with her older brother and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a clumsy hug before Michonne took her away from the exhausted boy. Rick and Ash stood close by while everyone came and went. “I can’t,” Rick started, running a hand over his beard before putting his hands on his hips, looking up to the ceiling. “Hey,” she brought his attention to her. “..you don’t have to. You’re not alone here.” He took a shaky breath, shaking his head. “It should be me.” Ash shook her head in response. “No, it shouldn’t be. You can’t carry that around with you.” From the floor they heard Carl’s faint voice say, “I’ll do it.” Both heads shot down to look at him in disbelief. “What? Carl..no, you---” “I’m not gonna have you guys try to figure out who has to put a bullet in my brain after I die. I’ll do it..before.” “You’re not killin’ yourself, Carl.” “Dad..look at me. I’m already dead. Ash is right, it shouldn’t be you. You shouldn’t have to kill me.” He looked over to her, “and neither should you. Or anyone else. I got myself into this so I’ll do what I have to do. But..I don’t want to do it here. Not in front of everyone...” Rick and Ash exchanged a worried, disturbed look as Carl tried to push himself up using the floor and the wall. They both rushed forward to help him steady himself and give him some leverage to support his weight. “I’ll do it..just....help me to the surface.” He looked at them again with pleading eyes. “Please.” They shared another look of concern, but nodded and proceeded to take Carl to the surface, being extremely careful not to jostle him too much. Once they were back on ground level, they brought Carl over to a tree and sat him down gently against it. It was a secluded area that wouldn’t be found by the Saviors if they were still straggling around Alexandria. Even if they heard the gunshot, Rick and Ash would be long gone by the time they got there. Carl took a few staggered breaths, holding his side loosely and wincing a bit as he pulled the gun from its holster at his leg. “Carl,” Ash squeaked, stepping closer to him, kneeling and lightly grasping the barrel of the gun in his hand. “You can’t...are you absolutely sure about this?” Carl nodded. “I don’t want to turn into one of them.. I don’t want you guys to see me like that. I want you to remember me like this, y’know, alive.” She was crying now, unable to hold back her tears any longer. She nodded back, sadly and let go of the gun. She pressed a kiss to his head. “Buckaroo... I’m so glad I got to know you...you’re the best and closest thing to a son I could’ve asked for. Thank you for teaching me more than any adult ever has.” She forced a shaky smile. “I’m so proud of you.” He smiled the same pained smile back at her. “Thanks, Ash..I’m glad my dad found you. You’re good for him. You’re good for all of us. You taught me a lot too. I should’ve paid more attention to those fighting lessons huh?” He joked before his face got serious again. “Take care of my dad and Judy, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to get to know Lydia like I did Judith.. I’m sure she’ll be as cool as you one day.” “I love you, Carl.” “Love you too, Ash.” When she stood up, he looked over at Rick. “I love you Dad. Thanks for not giving up on me..on any of us. I believe in you. I know you’ll do good. I’ll tell Mom you say hi. And not to worry about you or Judy.” His eyes met Ash’s once more as he continued speaking to Rick, “--you’re both in good hands.” Rick moved closer and fell to the ground, embracing his son for some time. He wasn’t ready to let go, physically or metaphorically. How did one say goodbye to their own child? “I love you so much, Carl. You made me proud. I’ll do right by you..I promise.” Carl nodded and whispered, “I know.” He waited until his dad moved back before he put the barrel to his head. He closed his eyes and took one more breath. Ash held Rick close to her, both unable to watch their son kill himself. They both flinched hard when they heard the gunshot ring out into the night.

Goodnight, love.

#i hate myself #;drabble #onestrikegrimes

2 notes · View notes

reciprocityfic · 7 years

Text

fires, chapter three

Title: Fires Fandom: The Walking Dead Pairing: Rick x Michonne Rating: T Summary: “Because sometimes fires burn to make way for something new…something beautiful.“ The evolution of Rick and Michonne’s relationship as they prepare to go to war with The Saviors. Canon-divergent.

Author’s Note: So, there will be one more, short chapter after this one. Thanks for sticking with me, even through the long waits between updates!

chapter one on tumblr, ao3 or ff.net.

chapter two on tumblr, ao3 or ff.net.

chapter three on ao3 or ff.net.

CHAPTER 3: RADIANCE

Carl is the first to know, of course.

She hadn’t given him any specific time to bring himself and Judith home, just told him to mosey on over whenever he felt like it. She even encouraged him to have a lazy morning, hoping that her and Rick could get in some more alone time before having to face the world again.

But after they confirm the decision they’d made the night before, realize that they’re going to marry each other, they can’t wait to tell him. The dress in a hurry and then jog to Rosita and Tara’s, Rick taking Judith and Michonne grabbing Carl’s arm and practically dragging him back to their house.

Carl barely has time to cross the threshold and close the door behind him before his dad and Michonne corner him, the four of them still in the foyer. Carl frowns and tries to rub the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand.

“‘Chonne, I thought you said to be lazy today.”

“Yeah, well. Change of plans.”

She can barely hold back her smile, and Carl notices. He looks back and forth between her and his beaming father, Judith resting her head against his shoulder in his arms, looking just as groggy as her brother.

“What’s going on?” Carl asks slowly.

Michonne doesn’t even have a chance to open her mouth before Rick speaks.

“Michonne said she’d marry me,” he blurts out, a hint of awe in his voice, as if her wanting to marry him is so improbable, an honor he can’t believe has been bestowed on him. She smiles at the same time it puts a pang in her heart. He still can’t see his worth. His beauty. She wonders if she’ll ever succeed in changing that, and smiles again knowing she’ll have the rest of her days to try.

She’s lost in her thoughts, and it takes Rick saying his son’s name to pull her out of them and register the fact that Carl hasn’t yet responded to the news. She blinks, turning slightly to see the blank look on Carl’s face, and fear starts to stir in her gut.

She’d been so caught up in the prospect of marrying Rick, in marveling at how natural the whole thing felt, that she hadn’t even considered the possibility that Carl might not approve.

She and Carl had cared about each other for so long that she couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t cared for the boy, even though she knew it really wasn’t all that long ago. He had accepted her long before his father had, perhaps even loved her before he did, too. When her and Rick had finally gotten together, she got the sense that Carl had almost expected it. That he’d been waiting for it. She’d always known him to be wise beyond his years.

The transition from friends to lovers had gone over so smoothly in their household, that she hadn’t considered the transition to husband and wife might not be that simple. In an instant, so many thoughts flood her brain that she can barely keep track of them.

She supposes it hasn’t been very long at all since his mother died. Judith had just turned one by their best estimation, meaning that barely a year had gone by since Lori passed. That year felt like a lifetime, but it wasn’t, and she considers the old world, of a widower remarrying in such a relatively short time after the death of his wife during childbirth. It seemed sudden to the part of her that still remembered how life before felt. Did that matter in this new world, when days sometimes felt like weeks and a year could seem like a lifetime, even when it wasn’t?

And if Carl didn’t approve, what would they do? Would his feelings make them call the whole thing off? She would love Rick just as wholly and desperately no matter what Carl thought. Nothing could change that. But Carl’s rejection of this next step would undoubtedly cripple that all-consuming joy and peace that flowed through her now, and she hates the idea of that. She hates it.

But then Carl smiles brilliantly, and she feels so light. Like her feet will lift off the floor.

“Took you long enough to ask, Dad,” he says with a smirk, and Michonne grabs both of her boys and pulls them towards her without thinking, wrapping her arms around them and leaning over to nuzzle her face against Judith. The little girl babbles and bounces, sensing the happiness of the three people around her.

“You’re really happy, then?” she asks, tears filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. She has to be sure. To know that her happiness, that this rightness flowing through her veins is safe. Carl reaches up and touches her cheek, wiping away the moisture and then glancing up at his dad with a knowing smile.

“Yeah. It’s cool.”

Rick laughs, and then Carl laughs, and then Michonne laughs because they do. Judith keeps babbling and bouncing. She tightens her grip on all three of them, stands in the middle of the foyer and holds her family.

Her family.

* * *

“When are you guys gonna do it? You know, actually get married?”

Michonne looks up from the eggs she’d whipped together for all of them once they finally managed to move from the doorway. She finds Carl staring back at her, a half-smile still on his face.

“We didn’t set a date,” Rick answers from behind her, where he’s refilling Judith’s sippy cup with water.

“Got any suggestions?” she asks the boy, scooping up a bite of eggs on her fork and reaching to her right, where Judith sits in her highchair, remnants of her breakfast smeared across the tray. The little girl accepts the food, and Michonne smiles.

“What about today?”

His words make Michonne pause, and when she turns to look at him, Carl shrugs.

“What?”

“We just got engaged last night,” she says, as Rick hands Judith her drink and then walks around the table, pulling out the chair next to Carl and sitting down.

“So?” Carl asks. “I don’t think there’s anything big going on today. If you can postpone anything, or hand off duties to someone else, I think you should do it.”

“Should we really be postponing anything at this point?” Rick offers. “I mean, you never know – “

“One day isn’t going to change anything in the long run,” Carl interrupts. “Negan and The Saviors – they’re not the only things that matter. We can’t stop living while we’re fighting them. At least not completely. Stuff like this is important, too.”

Carl drops his gaze towards the table, and Michonne sees the briefest hint of sadness flicker across his face.

“It’s just that you can’t be too sure of anything anymore. I mean, I know we’re gonna be here tomorrow. And I know we’re gonna beat the Saviors, and we’re gonna have a lot more tomorrows after we win, but…I can’t know anything one hundred percent. No one can, especially now. So if you really want something, if something’s important – and this is important – I don’t think you should wait to do it.”

Michonne can only stare at him, mouth slightly open, wetness slightly stinging the corners of her eyes.

This kid. He was going to be the end of her. She was sure of it.

“You’re too smart for your own good, Carl Grimes,” she declares after a few moments, as Rick leans over and ruffles his son’s hair before placing a quick kiss on the top of his head.

“I can move things around and pass things off. Clear my schedule,” Rick tells them, turning to look across the table at Michonne, a smirk on his face and mirth in his eyes.

“What do you say, Mich? You want to marry me today?”

The smile she gives him nearly takes up her entire face, and she reaches across the table to take his hand in hers.

“Yeah, Grimes. I do.”

He laces their fingers together, and she sees his eyes begin to shine. She has to turn away to keep from crying herself. She can’t remember a time in her life when she’s been so happy and cried so much. Maybe the day Andre was born. It’s almost exhausting – feeling so much, loving so much – but she wouldn’t change it or trade it in for anything in the world.

She looks towards Judith, and the girl stares up at her, homemade blueberry jam from The Hilltop smeared around her mouth.

“What do you say, Judy?” Michonne asks. “You want to come me and your dad’s wedding today?”

Judith reaches towards Michonne to pat her cheek with her chubby, sticky hand, and laughs.

* * *

Carl, rather unexpectedly, turns into the wedding planner Michonne never got the chance to hire, and the one Rick and Lori couldn’t afford.

“Okay,” he says, his tone curt and purposeful, “you two go get ready. I’ll take Judith and go tell Father Gabriel and invite everyone. Or, wait…”

He trails off, eyes darting around the room almost nervously, as if someone was listening in.

“Are we inviting everyone?” he asks quietly. “Or just us?”

The three of them exchange a look, and know they all agree on what to do without needing to have a conversation. Carl speaks for all of them.

“Just us. Got it.”

He moves to lift his sister out of her highchair and then walks over to the sink to wash her hands. After he dries her off, he grabs his and Judith’s shoes from their spot by the door and sits down on the couch.

“Like I said, just go get ready,” he instructs them again as he ties Judith’s tiny sneakers. “The rest of us will take care of everything else.”

He slips on his own shoes in a flash and then scoops up his sister, turning to Rick and Michonne.

“Meet everyone at the church in about an hour?”

They barely have the chance to answer him before he’s out the door, talking to his sister as she chatters back brightly.

“I think I’m just gonna put Carl in charge of everything from now on,” Rick says after the sound of the door shutting behind their children has left the room. Michonne laughs and walks to him, standing in front of him and grabbing both of his hands, twining their fingers together.

“He’s always very determined. It’s a good thing.”

Rick laughs lowly as he nods in agreement, eyes locking with hers. It takes only a moment for his laughter to fade, and for everything else to fall away except the two of them. Their eyes gleam as if they’re kids who have just realized it’s Christmas morning, except that this is the best Christmas morning they’ve ever had, and there will never be a better one. They both know what they’re getting, and it’s the one thing they want most in the world.

She wants to kiss him, wants to lift herself on her toes and press her lips against his until she can’t breathe. But she knows if she kisses him once, she’ll kiss him again, and again and again and again until all thoughts of weddings and churches and guests are far away from her mind and the only thing she cares about is his voice in her ear and his heart beating with hers and how good he feels pressed against her and how much she loves him.

She can see the same desire in his eyes, so she bites her lip almost bashfully before speaking.

“Well, you heard him,” she tells Rick quietly.

“Yeah, I did. We better go get ready before he comes back and yells at us.”

They both chuckle, and then almost freeze as they catch each other’s gazes again. As the gravity of the moment, and of what they’re about to do, sets in and suddenly knocks them off their feet.

But then, in an instant, they’re off.

They chase each other to their room playfully, hands wandering and grabbing the other all the way, soft curses and jokes and the other’s expense mumbled back and forth as they trip up the stairs in their eagerness, light laughter filling the air. She’s reminded of the night they first kissed, and how the journey they’d taken from the couch to their bed had felt much as this one does. It buzzed with the same nervous, excited energy, and her heart had pounded the same beat with each step she took.

She knew that night, as they ambled up the stairs, that her life was going to change forever. She knows that again in this moment, and the prospect fills her with the same delight she felt all those weeks ago.

They stumble into their room, and she opens the closet while Rick walks to his dresser.

“I don’t have a tie,” he tells her from across the room, and she shrugs as she runs her fingers over the clothes hanging before her.

“I don’t have a dress. We don’t need them.”

He hums, and she hears a few drawers open and shut. Then, his footsteps travel back across the room to where she’s standing. He presses himself into her back before she can turn around.

“I’ll see you in about an hour, yeah?” he asks softly, brushing a kiss against her cheek. Her eyebrows pull together.

“Where are you going?”

He scoffs playfully as he moves from her and steps out of the room, turning to walk backwards down the hall and towards the stairs with clothes bundled under his arm.

“Don’t you remember? It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

* * *

Wearing white wasn’t very practical anymore.

Not in this world, when days typically ended with clothes covered in dirt, sweat, guts, blood, or some combination of the four. Usually some combination of the four. Not only was white harder to clean - it also made it easier to remember. Color could hide things; it could absorb the splatter of your own blood across your chest, soak in the sweat that gathered in beads on your back as you ran from walkers, collect the dust of dirt that settled on your shoulders and swirled up your nose and into your lungs as you dug graves to bury your loved ones, or holes to hide weapons for an upcoming war.

She can still think of their first trip to The Hilltop, remember Rick on his back with a blade at his neck. She can remember following him into the bathroom and helping him remove his coat and shirt, and sitting on the counter as he scrubbed the white fabric together in the sink. She can see the blood mixing with water in whirling patterns and rippling down the drain, can feel his stubble under her fingers as she wiped the sticky, red film off his cheeks and chin.

Killing that man was justified - it was necessary - and she’d want Rick to do it again in any type of similar situation. Hell, she’d do it for him one million times over, again and again, without hesitation and without regret.

But it was still someone’s blood. Someone’s life. And that t-shirt sat in the bottom of his dresser and it was still stained and every time she caught a glimpse of it she saw the knife and the still-warm body that fell on the ground with a thud. She saw Rick’s face and fingers coated in red.

White didn’t hide anything. White made you remember. And it didn’t make sense to wear it.

And yet in those first few days, when Deanna told them about her ridiculous parties and took them to a room full of spare clothes, encouraging them to pamper themselves - as if something like that could exist in this world - she had taken the white blouse that hangs in the back of her closet now. She had chosen to wear the black dress she grabbed over the shirt, of course, but she kept both of them. She took something extra, and it hadn’t sat quite right in her stomach, because extra had no place in their lives anymore. She and her family had spent so much time without anything extra. They’d barely had enough to survive.

But she took the blouse anyways. Maybe she hoped for more parties that would feel less and less preposterous as time went on. Maybe she thought there might come a day when they didn’t return home in the evenings covered in guts and death.

Or maybe she had felt Rick in her heart even then, nestled deep behind her ribcage, small and secret, but there all the same. Maybe part of her had known all along.

Whatever the reason, she took it, and it had hung unused and almost forgotten, buried behind practical things. But now she pulls it off its hanger, the delicate chiffon smooth against her fingertips, and slips it over her shoulders before moving to the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

She stands in front of the full length mirror hanging on the back of the door, studies her reflection, and smiles.

The shirt isn’t exactly a style she would’ve gravitated towards before. The thin bows that close the sleeves are a tad too sweet, the flower-patterned lace that covers her shoulders and upper chest kind of darling for her tastes. But she looks at the way the fabric lays and flows over her body, the striking contrast between the light fabric and her dark skin, and she feels pretty.

She turns to the drawers under the sink, takes out the few elastics and bobby pins she’s collected over the past few months, gathers the top half of her locs and pulls them back and then secures them. She pauses, and then feels her heart jump as she quickly goes for the bottom left drawer, suddenly remembering the handful of cosmetic supplies Tara had found in a makeup bag left in the corner of a walk-in closet in one of the empty houses. She swipes a wand covered with half-dry mascara over her eyelashes lightly, and then grabs a tube of wine-colored lipstick and runs it over her lips, rubbing them together before examining them in the mirror.

She feels beautiful.

It’s only the second time she’s felt that way, unreservedly, since the world went to hell. The first was when she and Rick had made love for the first time, after she removed her panties and bra and laid back on their bed, completely naked before him. His gaze had raked over her unabashedly, reverently, and goosebumps raised on her skin.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispered, the awe and adoration in his voice palpable. Her heart swelled. She felt loved, and wanted.

She felt beautiful.

She feels beautiful now, and she wants him to see her. She wants to watch the look on his face as his eyes take her in for the first time, wants to see his skin twinge pink and his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows slowly. She wants to see his eyes shine in that way that makes her insides twist in the absolute best way.

She smiles again, and then turns for the door, stopping in front of the full-length mirror once more before leaving the room. She takes a deep breath, and runs her hands down her blouse.

White holds no secrets, leaves nothing to the imagination. White makes you remember.

And she wants to remember this day. This moment, the way she looks, how she feels, all the details of the events that will take place in the next few hours.

She never wants to forget them, and she vows that she never will. She’ll hide them in her heart, where no one will ever touch them. Where no one will ever take them from her.

For the rest of her life, they’ll be hers.

* * *

When she arrives at the church, she finds Rosita standing outside with a bouquet of flowers. She smiles widely as Michonne approaches, and pulls her into a gentle hug once she’s within reach. Michonne freezes for a moment. She’s never known Rosita to be very physically affectionate with the group, and she barely has time to clear her head and return the embrace before Rosita pulls away.

“Sorry,” she says quickly, looking past Michonne, a slight blush beginning to color her cheeks. “I hope I didn’t mess up your outfit or anything.”

“Rosita, you don’t have to apologize for hugging me.”

“Yeah, I know. Ignore me. I’m just…I’m glad you and Rick are doing this. After everything, you deserve something good.”

She brings her gaze back to Michonne, and worries her bottom lip with her teeth before speaking.

“I never thought I would end up being this happy for you guys. I know that sounds kind of insulting, but I don’t mean it like that. But after we met up with Glenn and Tara, and when the four of you walked into that train car at Terminus…I never dreamed that I would’ve gotten close to any of you. But here I am, still with you guys. Alive because of all of you. I found a damn family at the end of the world. After my first one died, I never thought I’d have one again. Never thought I’d even want a family if one managed to show up. But I’m glad you guys showed up. I’m glad that I’m still with you. And I’m happy for the two of you.”

Rosita takes a deep breath, and averts her gaze again, suddenly finding something interesting in a patch of grass.

“And if Abraham was still here,” she continues slowly, “he would be too. I know he would. He and Rick didn’t get off to the greatest start, to say the least. But at the end, he really respected him. He cared about him, and the rest of you.”

Rosita laughs lightly, and then looks at Michonne, tears shining in her eyes.

“He was happy for you and Rick. Shit, the day you guys went to Hilltop for the first time, he came home with this giant ass grin on his face, and the first words out of his mouth were, and I quote, ‘Guess who finally pulled their heads outta their asses and started ‘uggin bumplies.’”

“Oh, God,” Michonne groans, covering her face with her hand. “‘Uggin bumplies?”

“Who knows,” Rosita says with a chuckle. “That’s Abraham for you. Or, I guess, was Abraham for you.”

She pauses for a moment, letting the air settle between them and the mood drop a beat before continuing.

“The point is, he cared about you and Rick. He cared about all of us. And I know if he’s somewhere right now - watching us, or looking down on us or whatever - he doesn’t regret dying for us. And he’s glad you’re doing this.”

Rosita sniffs, wiping at her eyes and muttering an expletive under her breath, and Michonne reaches out to grab her hand, squeezing it softly before dropping it again to wipe at one of her own tears that escaped from the corner of her eye.

“Damn it, I’m not supposed to make you sad on your wedding day. I’m not supposed to make you cry. You’re supposed to do that in there,” Rosita says, motioning with her head towards the church. “And they’re supposed to be tears of joy and shit.”

Michonne shakes her head.

“No. I’m not sad. I miss Abraham, but I’m not sad. I’m glad I got to know him, and that I was able to call him family. Rick is, too. And I’m glad he’s happy for us. Thank you for telling me all of that. Honestly.”

Rosita gives her a closed-mouth smile and nods, before glancing down at the bouquet in her hand and handing it to Michonne.

“This is for you,” she says, and Michonne grins widely at the colorful wildflowers she’s holding. “Me, Tara, and Judes picked them from that little patch that’s right outside the walls. I know they’re not much - “

“They’re perfect,” Michonne interrupts, and she means it, with every fiber of her being. “They’re absolutely perfect.”

Through everything that’s happened, through the end of the world, these flowers have survived. They’re still there, and still growing, bringing a bit of light to such an ugly world. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, they’re mostly insignificant, but they matter. They’re proof that regardless of how grim things seem, there can still be good things. There can still be beautiful things.

She brings the flowers to her nose and inhales their sweet scent before holding them in front of her and looking towards Rosita.

“So, how are we doing this?”

“You’re walking in the church and then walking down the aisle.”

“Everyone’s here already?” Michonne asks.

“Yep,” Rosita confirms. “We were just waiting for you.”

Michonne frowns.

“Shit, am I late?”

Rosita laughs, and shakes her head.

“No, you’re right on time. We just got everything ready. We wanted to do this for you. We wanted to give you this.”

Michonne feels her eyes well up again, and Rosita grabs her arm and pulls her towards the door.

“Nope,” she says. “I refuse to make you cry twice before we even get into the church. You look gorgeous, by the way,” Rosita tells her as they reach the entrance to the church. “Rick’s going to die.”

“After everything we’ve been through, he better not even think about dying on me now.”

The two women laugh, and take their final few steps towards the church. Rosita pauses once more, glancing back at Michonne.

“You ready for this?” she asks, cocking an eyebrow.

Michonne inhales, and smiles tenderly. Her fingers toy with the stems of her flowers.

“I’ve been ready for this for a long time, I think.”

Rosita nods, turns around, and pushes open the heavy sanctuary doors.

* * *

She doesn’t look at rick when she walks into the church because she knows that once she sees him, she won’t be able to see anything else. And she wants to remember every detail - every inch - of this moment.

All of her family’s eyes are on her as she enters the sanctuary. She smiles as she observes them sitting in the pews, everyone who’s been invited, everyone who Carl’s deemed as theirs.

Tara and Daryl sit next to each other, and when their gazes meet Tara throws a playful thumbs up and Daryl gives her the closest thing to a smile that Daryl has. Rosita slips into the pew right behind them, smoothing her hair and looking at Michonne fondly, the weight of their conversation still heavy in both their minds.

Aaron and Eric sit across from them, Aaron with his camera in hand and Eric resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Aaron has an eager grin on his face, and Michonne’s heart fills with gratitude as she looks at him. He brought them here, and while Alexandria has been far from perfect, it’s become home. It’s the place that she will fight for as long as she’s able.

It’s the place where she found herself falling in love. The place where she realized she could have that, even in this world. And she could have it stronger than it’s ever been before.

Her eyes move to Father Gabriel, standing at the center of the altar with his Bible in hand. His expression is so peaceful, and she wonders how often he stood like this in his past life, and if it brings him comfort to practice his calling again.

She thinks of how much he’s grown in the time they’ve known him, how he’s transformed from a cowardly priest holed up in his lonely church, into a survivor. A fighter. An asset. She’s proud of him, and she’s come to care deeply for him.

Then, she takes a moment to remember everyone who should be there, but isn’t.

She thinks of Maggie, Sasha, and Enid at The Hilltop, and Carol and Morgan at The Kingdom, loved ones that are farther away than it seems they should be. But their world is growing, and that means their family is, too - not only in numbers, but also in distance. And it’s right - it’s good - but it’s not easy.

And then she thinks of all those who can’t be there. All the people they’ve lost. She thinks of Beth and Noah sitting next to each other in a pew. She thinks of Denise, who should be sitting next to Tara and holding her hand. She thinks of Tyreese, standing in the back of the sanctuary with his electric smile on his face, Bob standing next to him and already starting to treat him as a brother.

She thinks of Deanna, finally getting to see Michonne figure out what it was she wanted for herself all this time. She thinks of Andrea, watching with her heart beating fondly in her chest, as she sees how much her group ended up meaning to her friend. She thinks of Abraham, trying to hold back the colorful remarks he already thought up when it’s time for her and Rick to kiss at the end of the service.

She thinks of Hershel, looking at them with warm eyes, glad that they’ve found their way. That they’ve found their place in the world. And that they’ve found each other.

And she thinks of Glenn, one of the dearest people to her, standing in his rightful place at Rick’s side.

She remembers all the people she still holds inside her. She takes a moment to mourn them, and to miss them. To love them.

She reaches the head of the center aisle and finds Carl, carrying Judith, a miniature version of Michonne’s wildflower bouquet clutched in her tiny fists.

Carl Grimes. The boy wearing an oversized sheriff’s hat and a face dusted in freckles, who was willing to take on a restaurant full of walkers by himself just so he could show his baby sister a picture of their mother. The first one who accepted her into the group at the prison. Someone who’s seen so many horrible things, and has yet remained thoroughly good. Her dearest friend, whom she loves completely and irrevocably.

And Judith. A baby - a baby - who reminded her of everything she lost and everything she blamed herself for. The little girl she avoided for as long as she possibly could. But Judith wore her down, and as soon as Michonne opened herself back up, Judith cemented Michonne’s love for her in a single heartbeat.

And now they stand in front of her, brother and sister, wide grins on their faces as they prepare to accept her into their immediate family, and readily claim her as the closest thing they’ll ever have to a mother again.

Carl and Judith. Her Carl and Judith.

“I told Judy we couldn’t throw flowers until you got here,” Carl whispers to her as they approach each other, “but she didn’t listen to me.”

She looks down and sees Judith picking at what is now mostly stems in her hand, petals scattered on the ground near her brother’s shoes . Michonne laughs lightly and sweeps a hand over the girl’s soft, blonde hair.

A silence falls over them, and Carl looks at her expectantly as she tries to think of something to say.

“You ready for this?” she asks after a moment.

“Hell yeah,” Carl answers quickly, a smirk placing on his lips. “The real question is, are you ready?”

“You better believe I am,” she tells him, and his smile grows.

“Let’s do this, then.”

He turns with Judith and begins to walk down the aisle. She takes a deep breath, then turns towards the front of the church, closing her eyes. She counts to three in her head, and then opens them.

Her gaze finds him instantaneously, like he’s full of some sort of magnetic force and she’s made of metal, she a moth and he the only flame in a pitch-black night.

Rick.

Rick Grimes.

Her last and greatest love.

He’s wearing a light blue linen button-up, and a pair of navy denim jeans that barely look worn, and she chuckles to herself as she sees he’s changed out of his beloved, ratty black jeans for her and their special occasion. His dark brown hair is neatly slicked back, and her favorite, silky, thick curls lay in multitudes at the nape of his neck, as they always do. Two days’ old stubble covers his jaw, and her stomach flutters as she imagines the delicious way it will scratch at her skin when he kisses her and when he makes love to her.

His blue eyes gleam, his smile shines so brightly it could light up a starless sky, and she can hardly hold herself back from running to him. She wants nothing more than to be by his side, and the short aisle suddenly feels six miles long.

But she walks it, and she gets to him, finally. As she comes to stand in front of him, he reaches out and cups her face, his calloused fingers caressing her soft cheek. His touch sends pinpricks of electricity over skin and down her spine.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his thumb tracing her cheekbone, and he hand that’s not holding her flowers takes his hand from her face, hold it to her lips so she can kiss his palm, and then brings down their hands and twines their fingers together as Gabriel begins to speak.

The ceremony is mostly a blur, because now that she’s here with him - touching him, seeing him, breathing him - she can’t focus on anything else, just as she’d predicted. But it doesn’t matter, because the words aren’t important. He, and she, and the fact that they are here together - those things are important. And they are truer than anything has ever been.

Their vows are short and simple, because so much has already been said between them. And although there is still so much left to stay, they will whisper those things to each other in quiet moments they steal from the world - in times that are purely theirs, and no one else’s.

For now, they say what they can.

“I lost everything,” she says, tears gathering in her eyes, and he squeezes her hand. “I lost everything I loved, and after I did, I didn’t think there was anything good left in the world. And I thought I was only alive so I could suffer, as punishment for failing the people I cared about. But after I found the prison, I realized that there were still good things left in the world. Carl, Judith, Glenn, Maggie, Hershel, and the rest of our group - they made me realize that I could have a family again. And you. Meeting you and knowing you. You taught me that I could trust someone again, and believe in someone. You showed me that loving someone in this world was worth it, even though it’s dangerous. I laugh with you. I look forward to every day, because I know you’ll be in it with me. And I promise to spend every one of the rest of my days with you. I promise to help you find the beauty that’s left in the world, like you did for me. and I promise to love you every moment for the rest of my life.”

He reaches up to wipe away a tear that’s fallen from the corner of her eye, and he trails the backs of his fingers down the side of her face. His eyes well as he speaks.

“You saved my life,” he says earnestly, the slightest tremble in his voice. “You’ve saved it over and over again, and you keep saving it. You support me, and you tell me when I’m wrong. And no matter what I do - no matter if I win or lose, or what mistakes I make - I know you’ll still be here for me. You prove to me that there’s something more than just fighting to survive, and that I don’t always have to be a warrior or a leader. You show me that we get to live, not just survive, and that I still get to be just me. And I want to live with you, for as long as I possibly can. So I’m going to fight for you. For us, and the life we can have. And no matter what happens, I’m always going to protect you. I’m always going to take care of you. And I’m always going to love you. I promise you that. As long as there’s breath in my body, I’m going to love you.”

It happens very quickly after that, and Father Gabriel can only get out “You may kiss…” before his arm snakes around her waist and he pulls her towards him as his other hand cradles the back of her neck. Her hands grab the collar of his shirt and tug as he presses his lips against hers, before moving her fingers to their favorite spot - tangled in his hair. She opens her mouth and his tongue dips inside, and they drown in each other. It is only when she reluctantly resurfaces for air that she registers the cheers and applause from their family.

As they part, Carl and Judith approach. Judith reaches for Rick and he takes her, as Carl throws his arms around both Rick and Michonne. She hears the snap of Aaron’s camera somewhere in the noise of the crowd.

Soon, the others come up to them and laud them with hugs and words of congratulation. Aaron hands her two polaroids: one of her and Rick lost in each other, in the middle of their kiss, and one of the four of them - her, Rick, Carl, and Judith - wrapped in an embrace just afterwards. Tears fill her eyes once again, and she hugs Aaron fiercely, telling him thank you over and over.

When she lets him go, she kisses each photo lightly, and then holds them both over her heart.

* * *

Carl takes himself and Judith back to Tara and Rosita’s for the second night in a row, stuttering out that he wants to give her and Rick alone time as a deep brush colors his cheeks, and she’s momentarily mortified that one of her best friends, her adopted son, just made reference to the fact that he knows she’s most definitely having sex with his father tonight, but Rick only laughs as Carl stumbles with his sister out the door. Rick pulls Michonne into his side as the sound of his laughter still echoes in the empty foyer, and she can’t help but be warmed by the sound. His laughter is her absolute favorite song, and she couldn’t stop the smile that creeps up on her face and twists up the corners of her mouth even if she tried to.

They turn towards each other and bring their mouths together, kissing lazily in the middle of the room, appreciating their alone time and relishing in the fact that they are together, and that they belong to each other. They always have, and getting married today only confirmed that bond. It’s an outward expression of an internal, emotional commitment that they’ve now made known to everyone around them.

They keep kissing until their breath is short, and Rick presses his lips to her forehead before taking her hand and tugging her towards the stairs. She stops in the kitchen to retrieve an almost-empty package of blue tack from a drawer. When they reach their room, she pulls the two photos Aaron took from her back pocket and kneels, hanging them on the wall with the tack, right next to her pillow, so she’ll see them every morning when she opens her eyes.

She stays there, admiring the photos as her heart flutters, and runs her fingertips over the smooth film of the images. Suddenly, one of Rick’s arms wraps around her from behind, and she smirks softly.

“Gotcha something,” he whispers, his lips pressing against her ear before moving to trail down her neck.

“Yeah?” she breathes, tilting her head to the side.

He hums against her shoulder, reaches around to take one of her hands, and drops two small, cool objects in her palm. When she opens her hand, her breath catches in her throat.

“This is what I spent most of my hour doing. Now, rooting around through old, leftover jewelry isn’t how you typically go ring shopping,” he says, his voice holding the slightest tinge of nervousness, “so i know it’s not much - “

“It’s perfect,” she tells him, quickly interrupting him as she gazes down at the two rings in her palm. The engagement ring has an array of flat diamonds set into the silver band, while the wedding one is a smooth, simple, silver ring.

“Yeah?” he asks, as she turns around to face him.

She nods fiercely, and then holds the rings out to him.

“You’re not going to make me put them on myself, are you?”

Her voice breaks as her question comes to an end, and he chuckles.

“Nah. I think I can do that part for you.”

He begins to slide the rings down her third left finger slowly, first the wedding one, and then the engagement.

“I didn’t know what size you were, so I just guessed,” he cautions.

“They’re just right,” she assures him, as the rings slip easily over her knuckles and sit on the bottom part of her finger with just the right amount of snugness.

Once they’re in place, he brings her hand up to his mouth and kisses her rings before running his lips over her knuckles. She laughs, even through the tears spilling down her cheeks.

“Well, where’s yours?” she questions earnestly, and he smiles as he digs back into the front pocket of his jeans, pulling out a plain silver ring to match Michonne’s.

She looks at his left ring finger, where the tan line from his old ring has finally faded, and she grins as she slides on his new piece of jewelry, knowing that now, a new one will begin to take form.

She keeps her hold on his hand when she’s done, and they gaze at each other, his eyes beginning to gleam with unshed liquid.

“Michonne Grimes,” he says, his voice proud, and awed. “My wife.”

Her heart and stomach leap at his words, and she brings her hands up to caress his face, and she wipes at the moisture on his cheeks as he gently begins to cry.

“My husband,” she murmurs reverently.

A short beat passes, and then they lunge at each other, pressing their mouths together and each moving their lips with the other’s. She giggles against him as he pushes her back onto their blankets and pulls her legs toward him. He breaks their kiss and rakes his eyes over her.

“You didn’t need a dress,” he tells her. “You were still the most stunning bride there’s ever been.”

She flushes at his compliment, reaches up to push a few stray strands of his hair out of his face.

“And you were my handsome groom. Especially in those new pants you found.”

He throws his head back as he laughs.

“I did that just for you, you know.”

“I do know. And I appreciate the gesture immensely. Although,” she says, her voice lowering slightly as she runs her foot over his calf, “I think I’m ready for them to come off now.”

He smiles at her mischievously.

“If you insist. But only if I get to take clothes off of you, too,” he says, his hands already slipping under her blouse.

She looks up at him from under her eyelashes, playfully tapping her chin with her index finger.

“Hmm. I think I’ll make that deal.”

They undress each other slowly, taking their time to reveal every inch of themselves to the other. And though they’ve done it an uncountable number of times before, it feels different, after the promises they made today. It feels like more.

Once they’re both naked, she reaches down to grab him, but he stops her hand before it reaches its goal.

“Wait,” he tells her, moving down to lie on their pallet and pulling her with him, so they’re facing each other, their legs tangled together. “I just…I just want to hold you for a little bit.”

He wraps his arms around her to caress her back. She nods, and bites her lip, trying to temper the overwhelming love swelling inside her once again, as his fingers begin to trace up and down her spine.

They lay quietly, her hand trailing over his forearm as it rests against her.

“Rick?”

“Yeah, baby?”

She sighs, and snuggles closer to him, resting her head on his chest.

“I know I don’t need a dress,” she says softly. “And you don’t need a suit. And we don’t need a bunch of guests or a huge party, but I think…I think I want it.”

She tilts her head up to look into his eyes, and he brings his hand up to move one of her locs from her face, before resting the hand on her cheek.

“I never did,” she tells him, one corner of her mouth turning up. “At least, I never thought I would. But I don’t want the world to take that from us. I want it. With you, I want it.”

She wants everything with him.

His eyes become bright, and the sweetest smile graces his face.

“Then let’s have a wedding,” he says, and she leans in to press a kiss into his shoulder.

“After this war is over - “

“After we win this war,” he corrects, and she nods against him.

“We’ll have a real wedding,” she continues. “We’ll invite everyone - The Hilltop and The Kingdom, too. I’ll wear a dress, and you’ll wear a suit.”

She can’t help but giggle gently at the mental image. She never dreamed she’d see herself wear anything like that again. Not in one million years.

But here she is. Happy. In love. Married.

“It’ll be beautiful,” Rick declares, as he takes her left hand to kiss her rings once again. He studies them, and takes a deep breath, the slightest frown slipping onto his face.

“You know,” he begins, “we probably shouldn’t tell anyone else we’re married. Which also means we shouldn’t wear our rings. If Negan finds out…”

“Negan will use it against us,” she finishes.

“Negan will use it to hurt us.”

She exhales, and closes her eyes. She knows he’s right - they can’t wear their rings yet. But she doesn’t want to take them off. She never wants to take them off. She’s only had them for a matter of minutes, but they’ve already become such a part of her.

“Maybe we can wear them just for tonight.”

He smirks, and then rolls her onto her back, and presses his lips to her nose as he settles on top of her.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Let’s wear them tonight.”

They kiss, and as his hands roam all over her body, his ring leaves a pleasantly hot trail against her skin.

* * *

A few days later, a group of them travels to Hilltop to help with weapons training. Their family greets them at the gate; Carl and Enid run off together, Sasha eagerly takes a look at the rifles Tara and Scott found in an abandoned cabin last week, and Maggie goes to Rick, giving him a hug and then updating him on the overall status of the community and the progress they’ve made.

It warms Michonne’s heart, to see Maggie lead these people. She’s so smart, and loving, and capable of such amazing things. She’s leading, and thriving, and she wishes more than anything that her family was here to see it: her mother. Hershel. Beth.

Glenn.

When they’re given a quiet moment, Michonne pulls Maggie away from the group, and they end up standing on the back porch of the mansion, looking out over the thriving sorghum fields growing under the afternoon sun.

“Rick and I got married three days ago,” Michonne tells her, once the two women are alone and settled.

Maggie’s arms are around her immediately, and she kisses Michonne on the cheek before speaking into her ear.

“That’s so amazing, ‘Chonne. If anyone left on this earth deserves to be happy, it’s the two of you. I wish I could’ve been there to see it.”

“I wish you could’ve been there, too,” Michonne says as they separate and look back over the horizon. “It was just us: Carl and Judith, Tara and Rosita, Daryl, Gabriel, Aaron and Eric. You, Sasha, and Enid, and Carol and Morgan - you all should’ve been there. It felt incomplete without you all. I missed you. And there’s a good chance we would’ve waited to do it until you all could come, but then Carl reminded us that you shouldn’t really delay anything these days.”

“He’s right,” Maggie says.

“He is. He’s smart.”

“Well, he grew up in this world. He’s had to be smart, to survive.”

Michonne nods, and then closes her eyes.

“Glenn should’ve been there,” she whispers. “We’ve lost so many people during the time we’ve been together. I should’ve seen so many faces in that church that I didn’t. Faces I, and nobody else, will ever see again. But Glenn…I felt his absence the most. His hurt me the most.”

She sees Maggie’s head drop out of the corner of her eye, and she swears under her breath, mentally scolding herself.

“Maggie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have - “

“No,” Maggie interrupts with a shake of her head, looking up at her friends with tears in her eyes. “Don’t be sorry. Please don’t be sorry. I think a lot of people assume I don’t want to talk about him, but I do. It hurts, but I want to talk about him. He was here. He lived, and he touched all of our lives. And he deserves our conversations, and our memories. He deserves to be remembered.”

MIchonne nods, and her vision begins to blur as her own tears form.

“God, Maggie, I wanted him there. I wanted him there more than anything.”

“Oh, he was there,” Maggie assures her, sending her a tiny smile. “You might’ve not been able to see him, but he was there. He wouldn’t have missed it for anything.”

Suddenly, Maggie laughs.

“You know, Glenn told me back at the prison that you and Rick were gonna end up together.”

“The prison?” Michonne asks, her face scrunching in confusion. “Rick tried to kick me out of the prison every three minutes.”

“Must’ve been a bunch of unresolved sexual tension driving him up a wall. Tension that is very resolved at this point.”

Michonne groans, and covers her face with her hands as she feels blush rise up into her cheeks.

“You’re not wrong,” she mumbles, and the two women laugh.

“Whatever it was, Glenn knew,” Maggie says, a wistful smile appearing on her lips. “Glenn saw it. He was good at that - seeing things. Seeing people. A little while later, I saw it too. Then eventually, everyone saw it. I think the two of you might’ve been the last ones to see it, in fact.”

“I think we were hiding from it, a little. The idea of it was scary. Letting yourself feel like that, knowing how much you could lose. Especially after you’ve lost so much already.”

“Do you ever regret it?” Maggie asks softly. “Or maybe wish you’d never found it in the first place?”

“No,” Michonne answers. “I found the love of my life. Finding Rick, and being with him, brought me back to life. He’s the greatest thing I’ve ever had in my life. How could I ever want to give it back?”

“Me either,” Maggie agrees. “Even though I lost him, Glenn is the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m grateful I’m got to have him for any time at all.”

Michonne slips her arm around Maggie’s waist, and squeezes her closer as Maggie lays her head on Michonne’s shoulder.

“We didn’t tell anyone we’re married, other than the people who were there,” Michonne says. “You can tell Sasha, obviously, and Enid, if Carl hasn’t spilled it to her already. You can probably let Jesus know, too. But we’re not telling anyone else, and we’re not wearing out rings yet, either. Because if Negan finds out, he’ll use it to hurt us however he can.”

“That’s not gonna happen,” Maggie swears.

“It’s what we’re trying to prevent,” Michonne tells her, and then pauses for a moment. Maggie tilts her head in question.

“But after we win this was against The Saviors, Rick and I decided that we want to have a real wedding. With guests, and a reception, and an actual wedding dress.”

Michonne turns so that she’s facing Maggie, and grabs her hands.

“Maggie, you’re one of the most important people in the world to me. And I can’t imagine getting married, or throwing any part of a wedding, without you by my side.”

“Are you asking me to be your maid of honor?” Maggie asks, her eyes lighting up.

Michonne looks at the ground bashfully.

“Yeah. I am asking you that.”

Maggie squeals, and throws her arms around Michonne in a tight hug.

“Of course I will be! I love you all so much, Michonne - you, Rick, Carl, and Judith. You’re the closest family I have left, and I wouldn’t dream of missing this, or passing up the opportunity to be there for you and help you with this.”

But Maggie laughs as she pulls away from Michonne and motions to her finally-noticeable, ever-growing baby bump.

“This little one might be the size of a basketball by the time the big day comes, so who knows if I’ll even fit in a bridesmaid’s dress. Of course, I guess I’m a matron, not a maid. Ooh, yikes. Matron makes me sound so old.”

“Maggie, you are the furthest thing from old,” Michonne promises her as she pulls her in for another hug, and over Maggie’s shoulder, Michonne sees Rick walking across the backyard, and she manages to catch his attention. He stops, and meets her gaze.

The smile on his face shines as brightly as the sun behind him.

#richonne #richonne fanfiction #richonne fic #rjd writing network #rick x michonne

7 notes · View notes