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tofufei · 2 years

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Little Mushroom Audio Drama Trailer [ENG SUB]

Synposis from 猫耳FM:

Do not go gentle into that good night, do not peacefully surrender to extermination. Earth's magnetic field disappeared, mutated organisms invaded, the end of the world is near. A little mushroom from the Abyss makes its way into a human base on the search for the spore it has lost, and runs into The Arbiter Lu Feng. One human, one not, they meet at the end of the world and get to know each other, and together they walk into a future in which the only thing certain is uncertainty…

Ask anyone who has listened to Little Mushroom's audio drama and it is almost certain that they will tell you that it was one of the best produced audio dramas they have ever had the pleasure to experience.

You can find the whole thing - with English subs even - on 猫耳FM/missevan, so if this piece of media has ever been on your radar (and even if it hasn't!), let this be the sign that you should join this pit.

I haven't seen any translation of the trailer, so I took a stab at it. Excuse the violation of the maximum recommended CPS count, but there wasn’t much I could do about it... you might need to pause the video at times :P

Some notes on this translation under the cut.

Because I am both lazy and hate articulating my thoughts, this will not so much be me providing much actual insight on translation choices than just some disjointed notes on the back-translation process of Dylan Thomas' poem "Do not go gentle into that good night".

An overly literal back-translation of the Chinese poem:

不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night, 我们应在日暮之时燃烧。// We should burn in the hour the sun sets, 怒斥、怒斥光阴的消逝。// Rage, rage at the vanishing of time and light. 尽管智者深知黑暗终将到来。// Even if the wise are fully aware that darkness will inevitably come. 尽管他们的话语无法再迸发出闪电。// Even if their words are unable to make lightning burst forth again. 不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night. 在这悲哀的山巅。// Here, on the sorrowful mountaintop. 请用你的眼泪诅咒我、祝福我。// Please curse me, bless me with your tears. 不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night.

Notes on the Chinese translation of the poem:

The refrains (“Do not go gentle into that good night” and “Rage, rage against the dying of the light”) basically map one to one to the English original, which makes it easily recognizable as Dylan Thomas’ poem

This makes the other changes feel very much like deliberate choices on the author's part, even if they do leave me puzzled

No references to the gendered figures (wise men, my father)

In the second verse, 尽管 is repeated for emphasis where it wasn’t in English

Why is the line 在这悲哀的山巅 so much shorter than all others? The original English poem has 10 syllables per line, but the Chinese one is…just whatever. No discernible structure here, only vibes

山巅 (mountaintop) where in the English it’s an unspecified “height” and can be read metaphorically, while here it is very much a physical location. (I mean, of course it could be read metaphorically as well in Chinese but there are many other words you could have chosen that do not have "mountain" in them.) Might or might not have been a deliberate choice referencing [spoiler] Base

I thought it prudent to back-translate the poem since there are some changes and they aren’t that minor.

Back-Translation process:

Pretended the original didn’t exist and translated it off the Chinese alone

Compared it to the original and modified it so that it still stayed 95% faithful to the Chinese while calling back to the original

Tried to keep the ABA rhyme scheme and felt powerful af when I managed to make the 2nd line in all the tercets rhyme

Squished or stretched the lines into 10 syllables, while still keeping as close to both Chinese and English as possible

Despair. Because at this point I should maybe just have used the original poem or gone for a freer translation, what am I even trying so hard for when this comes nowhere close at all to the original

What I ended up using in the subs of the AD Trailer, ABA ryhme scheme, 10 syllables per line if you squint*

不要温和地走入那个良夜。 // Do not go gentle into that good night. 我们应在日暮之时燃烧。 // We ought to burn the hour nightfall nears. 怒斥、怒斥光阴的消逝。// Rage, rage against the dying of the light. 尽管智者深知黑暗终将到来。 // Though the wise know darkness will bring its blight. 尽管他们的话语无法再迸发出闪电。 // Though their words no longer fork lightning fierce. 不要温和地走入那个良夜。 // Do not go gentle into that good night. 在这悲哀的山巅。// Here, on top of sorrowful mountain's height. 请用你的眼泪诅咒我、祝福我。 // Please, I ask, curse me, bless me with your tears. 不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night.

*and pronounce hour with 2 syllables

Some thoughts on translation choices, apparently:

Actually, the back-translating went quite smoothly and it really is just one line that unexpectedly turned out harder than expected. Or maybe I made it harder than it should have been, who knows. I might be prone to overthinking. It's 尽管智者深知黑暗终将到来 which I ultimately rendered as "Though the wise know darkness will bring its blight." Here, I ended up straying quite far from both Chinese and the original. This is also where I have to thank both @hardwareabstractionlayer and @fwoopersongs for talking translation choices with me.

Some other options here would have been "Though the wise know at last dark will alight" / "Though the wise know dark will come as it might" / "Though the wise know in the end dark is right", but none of them felt fitting. Either the line was not quite proper english, or it failed to convey the the inevitability of 终将到来, or it felt too much like a pale imitation of the original etc etc.

Usually, I am the kind of person who translates rather literally and doesn't take too many liberties. Here though, "blight" simply works absolutely amazing in the context of Little Mushroom. Credit for that suggestion goes to hal, who nailed two major story settings with it, despite not knowing much about the book except for whatever 2am thoughts I fling at her. You see, after the Earth's magnetic field disappeared, humans had to build an artificial magnetic field to protect themselves from deadly cosmic radiation and infected organisms. Due to the magnetic field, an aurora dances all over the globe. The moment that light vanishes, it means the magnetic field did too, which signifies the end of mankind. Dark *does* literally bring its blight. It's brilliant, really.

#mushroomposting #trying to vibe in this corner but I am just wiggling sadly #little mushroom #小蘑菇 #fei translates #also pls appreciate all the matching text effects. that took me way too many hours of my life

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aworldforastage · 7 months

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Just finished: 三嫁咸鱼/Thrice Married to Salted Fish by 比卡比

Okay, not gonna lie, I'm a bit disappointed -- not to say the novel wasn't good, but my expectations might have been a bit too high due to its immense popularity, especially in the English-speaking fandom.

The story has some very interesting and refreshing ideas:

A transmigration novel told from the POV of an in-universe character rather than the transmigrator

Three separate transmigrations into the same universe

Main characters who unabashedly prioritizes their own interests

And it includes many popular tropes:

A genre-savvy transmigrator intentionally hijacks the plot from the original protagonist

A "feel-good" novel that mercilessly destroys the bad guys and other people standing in the main couple's way

Main characters are very smart and competent (if a bit OP)

The plot is action-packed and tightly-paced

The main couple has believable development and compatible personalities

But on the other hand [unmarked spoilers ahead]

I don't really like with the way the relationship arc has been handled. The gong transmigrates into three different bodies; even though it's the same spirit/personality that Lin Qingyu falls in love with, their dynamic is a bit different in each body and identity. A big part of Lin Qingyu's relationship with Lu Wancheng is them grappling with his declining health and inevitable death, and his relationship with Gu Fuzhou has a period of familiarizing with this new body. They are so distinct that I can't see it like one single relationship.

It is especially jarring to see Lin Qingyu "moving on" literally the night after Gu Fuzhou dies. Because he has been through this before, and this is meant to be Jiang Xing's "true body", there seems to be barely any adjustment. Qingyu becomes intimate with the new body before he is done processing Gu Fuzhou's death, and I feel like it was too abrupt given how deeply he has bonded with Jiang Xing-as-Gu Fuzhou.

The plot also feels more and more implausible as time goes on. The schemes Lin Qingyu and Lu Wancheng pull off in the Lu Household can be explained away by them being ballsy and smart, but as the scope of the story expands, their egregious interference of imperial politics just seems downright ridiculous. I really enjoyed the first part of the novel, where Lu Wancheng's poor health and Lin Qingyu's awkward political position give them more of an underdog-against-the-power kind of vibe. However, as they gain more political power and the "protagonist halo" , their progress becomes so smooth it can't even be called a conflict anymore.

Overall

I would summarize my impression of novel as "did not live up to the hype". It has many refreshing and enjoyable tropes, a sweet romantic arc and a feel-good kind of plot. It also has good and effective writing -- I was in tears reading about Lu Wancheng's death. Ironically, it starts in a way I really enjoyed, but shifts to a direction I enjoy less towards the end. Not a bad story, but I just hoped for something a bit more spectacular, or at least a bit different.

However, the song from the audiodrama is a bop ~

#三嫁咸鱼 #thrice married to salted fish #sjxy #danmei novels #my reading #historical danmei #political danmei #transmigration danmei

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hunxi-after-hours · 1 year

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introducing the candidates for danmei awards 2.0 (2022)

I’m hard at work on (procrastinating on the writing of) this year’s danmei awards, so I figured I’d introduce all of the candidates since I’ve gone pretty far off the map at this point and don’t expect anyone to recognize most of these titles asdlfkads (别问，问就知北极圈的冷)

a table of contents!

《小蘑菇》 Xiao Mo Gu by 一十四洲 Yi Shi Si Zhou

《不小心救了江湖公敌》 Bu Xiao Xin Jiu Le Jianghu Gong Di by 六木乔 Liu Muqiao (有声漫画 audiomanhua season 1)

《无双》 Wu Shuang by 梦溪石 Meng Xishi

《问鹿三千》 Wen Lu San Qian by 光合积木 Voicegem, 吼浪文化 Houlang Studio, and 斗木獬编剧工作室 Doumuxie Screenwriting Studio

《师弟还不杀我灭口》 Shidi Hai Bu Sha Wo Mie Kou by 子鹿 Zi Lu

《默读》 Mo Du by priest

《督主有病》 Du Zhu You Bing by 杨溯 Yang Su

《海中爵》 Hai Zhong Jue by 七药 Qi Yao

《哏儿》 Gen’er by 南北逐风 Nan Bei Zhu Feng

《杀破狼》 Sha Po Lang by priest

《金牌助理之弯弯没想到》 Jin Pai Zhu Li zhi Wan Wan Mei Xiang Dao by (nominally) 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang and (mostly) 传奇火箭队 The Legendary Rocket Team

#1: 《小蘑菇》 by 一十四洲 (full length crash course here)

genre(s): apocalyptic science fiction

mediums: original novel on JJWXC, audiodrama by 729声工厂 / 729 Voice Studio on 猫耳FM

in a world where genetic mutations threaten to destroy humankind and a man-made aurora dances across the sky each night, a sentient mushroom goes undercover in a human city to recover a part of himself that was stolen. a book that investigates humanity and personhood, sentience and benevolence, the role of order in a lawless world, how to face despair and the end times with dignity and meaning. also, mushroom-based comedy

#2: 《不小心救了江湖公敌》 Bu Xiao Xin Jiule Jianghu Gong Di by 六木乔 Liu Muqiao (有声漫画 audiomanhua season 1)

genre(s): wuxia

mediums: manhua on bilibili comics, audiomanhua by 回声漫响工作室 Huisheng Manxiang Studio on 猫耳FM. both ongoing

when Liu Jianghe, a feared demonic sect leader, turns up half-dead on Lu Qingyun’s doorstep, the reclusive jianghu doctor reluctantly saves Liu Jianghe’s life. but Liu Jianghe’s enemies are almost as numerous as his secrets, and soon, the two are dragged into the turmoil of jianghu intrigue and conspiracy. Lu Qingyun has his own hidden past, Liu Jianghe his own mysterious motivations, and neither of them are held back by something as silly as moral scruples. an audiomanhua about the vortex of jianghu politics, in which every single character is a villain

#3: 《无双》 Wu Shuang by 梦溪石 Meng Xishi

genre(s): wuxia, political intrigue

mediums: original novel on JJWXC

a few years after the end of 《千秋》 Qian Qiu, unrest returns to the newly-founded Sui Dynasty as domestic intrigue and foreign plots threaten to fracture the hard-won peace. Feng Xiao, an unbelievably handsome government official who moonlights as the sect leader of the demonic Fajing Zong, finds his unexpected match in the frail wandering Daoist Cui Buqu. But beneath Cui Buqu’s waning health are more secrets than Feng Xiao can guess at, and the fate of the Sui Dynasty rests on these two setting aside their rivalry long enough to work together. a book about roasting your rival first, saving your dynasty second, and maybe, just maybe, falling in love in the process

#4: 《问鹿三千》 Wen Lu San Qian by 光合积木 Voicegem, 吼浪文化 Houlang Studio, and 斗木獬编剧工作室 Doumuxie Screenwriting Studio (full length crash course here)

genre(s): wuxia, xuanhuan

mediums: audiodrama on 猫耳FM, ongoing

an intricate, interlocking serial narrative following four intertwining stories: a famous zither master investigating a new, mysterious rival, a cat yao impersonating a prince and the assassin sent to kill him, the obsessive quest of an emperor searching for a lost dao and the person who lived inside it, and two spirits seeking their forgotten pasts. oh, and a former king-turned-talking-rabbit. an audiodrama about fate and loyalty, devotion and trauma, memory and grief, love and loss

#5: 《师弟还不杀我灭口》 Shidi Hai Bu Sha Wo Mie Kou by 子鹿 Zi Lu

genre(s): xianxia, transmigration

mediums: original novel on 长佩 Changpei, audiodrama by 米波文化 Mibo Culture on 猫耳FM. AD trailer 1 translated here, AD trailer 2 translated here.

when college student Zhong Yan is drawn into the world of the xianxia novel he just finished instead of studying for his exams, his sympathy for the book’s antagonist lands him a near-impossible mission: stop the antagonist from killing more people, or risk the consequences of failure. now, if only he hadn’t transmigrated as the antagonist’s useless shixiong, who is also the witness of his first murder...

a book about how kindness can change the path of fate, often when you aren’t paying attention. also, an audiodrama about 锦鲤 letting loose asldkfajsdf

#6: 《默读》 Mo Du by priest

genre(s): crime fiction, detective fiction

mediums: original novel on JJWXC, audiodrama by 729声工厂 on 猫耳FM (currently banned), donghua and live action adaptations in progress that will never see the light of day because this book contains trenchant commentary about social issues and cycles of violence perpetuated by wealth and power (and therefore too transgressive for the censors rip)

ETA 12/23/22: the 《默读》 AD has returned! more of it has likely been censored, but I’ll take what we can get.

when a series of complex cases begins to shake Yan City, police inspector Luo Wenzhou must team up with Fei Du, the cryptic heir of a business empire, to uncover what may be a larger, decades-spanning conspiracy tying the crimes together. at the same time, a mysterious radio station releases reviews of classic novels in Western literature that all feature plots, events, themes, and crimes that bear uncanny resonances to the cases they are investigating. a book about the dark side of modern society, and the slow, grueling path out of the abyss and toward the light

#7: 《督主有病》 Du Zhu You Bing by 杨溯 Yang Su

genre(s): wuxia, political intrigue

mediums: original novel on 长佩 Changpei, audiodrama by 米波文化 Mibo Culture on 猫耳FM

the unlikely childhood friendship of a court official and an assassin must weather the rise and fall of regimes as well as grasping reach of their own backgrounds if they are to reach a distant, elusive happy ending. a book where the question “can things get worse?” is responded to with a hearty “always!”

#8: 《海中爵》 Hai Zhong Jue by 七药 Qi Yao (full crash course here)

genre(s): PIRATES, secondary world fantasy, political intrigue

mediums: original novel on 长佩 Changpei, (free!) audiodrama by 株木琅玛工作室 Zhumulangma Studio on 猫耳FM, audiodrama ongoing

when a smooth-talking, deep-pocketed rival ship’s captain offers him a deal he can’t refuse, Hailian reluctantly agrees to assassinate someone for the mysterious Fang Tinglan. drawn into the complex tangle of Fang Tinglan’s schemes, Hailian must navigate intrigue, betrayal, and his own lost past to find his way to some place he can call home. a book about fighting and falling in love at the same time

#9: 《哏儿》 Gen’er by 南北逐风 Nan Bei Zhu Feng

genre(s): contemporary, entertainment industry

mediums: original novel on 长佩 Changpei, audiodrama by 音熊联萌 VoiceBear Alliance on 猫耳FM

in a few days, Ye Ling will graduate from the illustrious Tsinghua University with a master’s degree in thermal engineering, so in a few days, he’ll no longer have the time to pursue his extracurricular dreams of performing 相声 xiangsheng / crosstalk, a form of traditional Chinese stand-up comedy. but when the brash, bold, and charismatic Xie Shuangchen barges into his life, Ye Ling’s heart is swayed — and what if he decides to pursue his dreams? what if this is what he’s meant to do? a book about making it as working artists in Beijing while falling in love. also book about 相声 xiangsheng and Chinese opera, and adapting classical forms to the modern era

#10: 《杀破狼》 Sha Po Lang by priest

genre(s): political intrigue, alternate history, steampunk wuxia

mediums: original novel on JJWXC, audiodrama by 729声工厂 on 猫耳FM, live action adaptation trapped in censorship hell

from the moment the powerful fuel 紫流金 ziliujin was dug out of the ground, the path of history was destined to change. in an aging and weakening Liang Dynasty, two young men come of age as the kingdom’s foremost general and the court’s most capable minister. but malevolent forces both external and internal, domestic and foreign threaten to destroy them before they can save the dynasty they inherited. a book about saving your kingdom while extremely burnt out by the traumatic events of your youth. also, steampunk mechas and navigating the industrial revolution in the middle of war

#11: 《金牌助理之弯弯没想到》 Jin Pai Zhu Li zhi Wan Wan Mei Xiang Dao by (ostensibly) 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang and (mostly) 传奇火箭队 The Legendary Rocket Team, aka Fuck the Rocket according to their subtitles

genre(s): contemporary, entertainment industry

mediums: original novel on JJWXC, (free!) audiodrama by the 传奇火箭队 The Legendary Rocket Team on 猫耳FM

so full disclosure, I never read the original novel, and the 《弯弯》 audiodrama should be considered a lot of things but a faithful adaptation? lol absolutely not (their own words)

this is actually a 网配 wangpei audiodrama from 2015, and the energy on it is utterly unhinged. it is simultaneously a love letter to and satire of 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang’s novel 《金牌助理》 Jin Pai Zhu Li, a novel that follows the misadventures of hapless aspiring musician Xiao Yi as he finds a day job to pay the bills while struggling to make it in Beijing. said day job? working as a personal assistant to the extremely frosty, extremely handsome superstar actor Lu Zhou. absolute hijinks ensue

this audiodrama is far ahead of its time, and also completely upends traditional adaptation by rewriting the script satirically and cranking up the speed. I screamed; I laughed; I definitely missed a turn while driving. words can’t really describe this production for its sheer insanity, so I’ll just link it above and call it a day

#let's go let's go let's GO #came for the mushroom stayed for the mushroom #saving your kingdom while burnt out: the imperial intrigue steampunk wuxia light mecha alternate historical novel #voice(bear) appreciation hours #《督主有病》#《无双》 backlog #guess who walked into and out of the abyss while y'all weren't looking #not pictured here: the fact that I immediately turned around and re-read liehuo this year #still taking award category recs if anyone else wants to throw their hat in the ring!

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fangjuexias · 1 year

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The Earth Is Online Audio Drama || Theme Song, "Ravens in the Dark"

出品：猫耳FM 监制：瞬心文化贰哲-Xu1 Studio 音乐制作:杭州乐馨文化艺术有限公司演唱：白翎@正版白翎酱丶大C@大C爱唱歌作词:贰哲@贰哲作曲:徐一/HJLL-Xu1 Studio 编曲:HJLL-Xu1 Studio 吉他：洪施锐-Xu1 Studio 制作人:徐一-Xu1 Studio @徐一_ 混音、母带:HJLL-Xu1 Studio 封面设计：时论@时论发电机

傅：秩序被世界流放湮灭了日光黑夜囚困在下一道高墙它笼罩你的模样唐：而伙同如你我形容多得当能默契到迎合我疯狂不做声响

傅：今晚马戏已登场（多猖狂）银铠骑士不妨合：与同谋挑战规章（太默契的猜想）唐：诗人不曾吟唱却又吊唁合：着死亡(Turn on the intercom)

合：我愿这枪口迸溅的火花换你生存筹码唐：而命运像注定的回答你闯入也算上融洽（是你吧）

合：代价就像娱乐神的笑话还义无反顾吗？傅：而有人如结伴的暗鸦追随身后（We can kill the game）唐：深渊共跳下

唐：荒诞也沦为日常理智成妄想熟悉名字在游戏中叫响却让曾经被掩藏傅：眼神同谎言较量验证着猜想也曾是陌生面孔一张也最难忘

傅：昨夜马戏已散场（维克多）银铠骑士却还合：与同谋挑战规章（太默契的猜想）唐：诗人不曾吟唱却又吊唁合：着死亡(Turn on the intercom)

合：我愿这枪口迸溅的火花换你生存筹码唐：而命运像注定的回答你闯入也算上融洽（是你啊）

合：代价就像娱乐神的笑话还义无反顾吗？傅：而有人如结伴的暗鸦追随身后（We can kill the game）唐：深渊共跳下

#地球上线 #the earth is online #teio #dqsx #danmei #music #another one thats potentially a reference to something in the novel #unfortunately i havent read it yet #queue x queue #莫晨欢 #mochenghuan #白翎 #大C #audio drama

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verycharismaticdragon · 1 year

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Oh, right! Forgot to mention, but I recently saw the trailer for Jianghu Name Da AD on twitter, and finally went to check it out today. Apparently its been out for a while now! The theme song is so cute 🥹

I only listened to PV and trailer this far, but I love the voice they picked for Zhu Yanyin - the VA clearly pulls off both the naive young master vibe and the clever little fox vibe :3c For Li Sui, I think they could do a lil more to lean into the whole 'scariest mf in the entire jianghu' setting for the early scenes, but the later scenes are 😘🤌

Anyway, you can check it out here - the first 3 episodes are free!

Oh, and the cover is very pretty! and its the flowers scene ofc lol

[ official art ]

the artist should be @烛非鱼 on weibo, if I'm reading the credits right

[ official art ]

#suiyin #zhu yanyin #li sui #jianghu name da #jianghu is so great #the jianghu is boundless #江湖那么大 #yu xiao lan shan #语笑阑珊 #danmei novels #cnovels

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settlein4580 · 9 months

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You can likten to MDZS audio drama!!

#mdzs #tgcf #svsss #2ha

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cloudsephi · 2 years

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Yan Wushi’s Confession

I was listening to the audio drama for Thousand Autumns on 猫耳FM Maoer FM and came to this very meaningful description of Shen Qiao by Yan Wushi.

The arrogant, mercurial, shameless and selfish Yan Wushi finally meets his match. Our clueless little sheep Shen Qiao didn’t realise this was a major confession by Yan Wushi. I cut this video to capture that moment.

If you’re interested, it is in Chapter 90 of the novel and in Season II, episode 8 of the audio drama.

跟那满屋子的金银财宝相比即使它只是一块石头。也是一块万中无一的石头

Compared to the room full of gold and silver treasures. Even if it's just a stone, it's a one in a million kind of stone.

天下虽大也只有怎么一个沈峤

Although the world is vast, there is only one Shen Qiao.

BGM: 我读三千遍你 I Have Read You Three Thousand Times • 小魂 Xiǎo Hún

Voice: Yan Wushi - 吴磊 Wú lěi

All audio from ‘千秋Thousand Autumns’ Audio Drama by Maoer FM produced by音熊联萌 Voice Bear Studio)

#thousand autumns #yanshen #千秋

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colorfulcockroach · 6 months

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「哥哥，敞开你的一切吧」

— all珉（7 p白包勋包灿包嘟包开包冰水）

— 1 W+字现实向车很多play

— 群趴背景珉珉入伍前夕其余插入背景由14到19年不等

— 舞台拍摄细节时间对不上很散请宝贝们多多包容

— 推荐BGM I and Love and You

— 红嬷产物含一些借鉴祝大家食用愉快

打开手机还停留在照片显示面上，是cbx在日本活动期间的视频，珉锡哥染着白色的头发在公寓里笑的很好看。

在琦玉县的荣町三号塔楼外街，樱花偶然会飘到珉锡的衣服上。

伯贤记得在最后的舞台上珉锡哥站在灯光里，说他不在的时候，大家要照顾好剩下的成员。

“哥真是……”视频还没放完一旁俊勉示意大家可以从经纪人隔间里出来了，珉锡在前面的fm上已经到拍照环节了，成员们该出现了。

灿烈拿着专用拍摄机走在最前面，怼上了哥哥晶莹剔透的脸。

哥头上还戴着蝴蝶花环。

“莫呀……”哥脸上的表情很像惊吓小猫，台下也一片片的惊呼声。

伯贤和灿烈对视一眼想着今天哥哥能在第几个成员讲话的时候哭出来。

弟弟站成一排的时候珉锡哥还说今天不会哭的，结果就在钟仁怀里说不出来话了。

哥手里拿一堆眼泪纸还强颜欢笑说看着吧，你们也会站到这个位置上，你们也会被惹哭。声音像被刀片切下的柚子，炸开酸甜苦涩的汁水。

回宿舍的时候阳光透过窗户灌满了车厢，真皮座椅被烤的灼热，大家都没有讲话。

伯贤无端想起，放在腌制缸里浑身抹满辛奇腌料的鱼——鱼鳃还在微弱的一张一合。

cbx日巡期间哥还没有现在这么焦虑，可是夜晚被伯贤抱住的时候还是会分心。

哥说，仅仅是起床，床单就会皱起来；仅仅是活着，人也会皱起来。

伯贤就在这个时候摸了下去，哥哥颤栗了一下但没躲开。然后伯贤贴合着珉锡的脸说，不开心的话就做吧。黑暗里珉锡觉得四周特别聒噪，像蝉飞进了耳朵，在重重的脑袋里孵化了大量虫卵，羽化般嘶叫起来。

金珉锡觉得自己站在泳池边缘，脚踩的池沿下是黏糊糊的东西，像流动的蛋清，白的令人炫目。

伯贤知道哥没有专心，但哥还是跟着自己的手乖乖晃动，微微长着嘴唇在轻喘，伯贤就这样亲下去，听见哥被堵在喉咙里的吞咽水声。

珉锡哥被握住快要释放的时候，身上是特别烫的，伯贤每次看MV里哥的冰属性超能力就想笑，明明就是滚烫的可爱的小猫，被亲的时候会发出呼噜噜的声音。

明明做的时候会哭，拍成员们的综艺放送却还要一言不发地当好最大的哥哥。

珉锡被点燃的瞬间是缓慢的，他上前一步看火星同白雾纠缠，墙皮渗出水珠。被伯贤拉下了泳池，哥一边说着谢谢，一边被伯贤咬住耳朵。那些水珠从哥完美的脸上滑落，滴在公寓的床上晕成深色的印记。

肉体很重，泥泞的后穴很重，溅起黏糊糊水花的脚也很重。

拉阖门没有关好，房间还透着一点霓虹光，伯贤说，该哥了。

男人的目光骤然转回到他的脸，眼神直白，整个人溺在暗色里，慢慢爬到下面去张嘴含住性器，空间收缩的快感激到伯贤的眼皮猛一颤。哥埋下头去又上了手，掌纹细粝，从大腿内侧滑下去瘙痒无比。

坐飞机时总会从舷窗外看平流层的云，绵软到让人有塌陷进去永不复还的欲望。新宿御苑再到姬路城，伯贤刚到日本的时候跟珉锡说想去，哥说好，第二天就搞了一辆很骚包的车停在后门。从路口超对角线避开经纪人，他们在半夜游客散去的凌晨猫腰上山，啃着凉掉的三明治看动漫里才会出现的花瓣雨。

珉锡哥的眼睛特别亮，亮到那一天破晓的时候，伯贤记得，他们站在富士南都留郡的铁轨下，山麓就像棱镜和珠宝一样折射着太阳的光线，自己可以从那双眼睛里面看到熠熠白雪。

每一次哥提到要离开一年零几个月，哥的眼睛就清亮到能倒映自己��又一点点碎毅下去。

伯贤知道哥下一步的动作，于是便自己仰着头双手抓住珉锡好看的银白色头发。

下午在台上伯贤看到哥独舞的时候，满头发落满了金色蝴蝶。

那些蝴蝶就像哥一样——冰冷的，滚烫的，闪烁的。

来之前和成员们商量好了，今晚等珉锡哥fm开完了一起回宿舍，买了很多啤酒，所有的人都在哄哥哥喝酒，珉锡哥到最后连俊勉软绵绵的话都乖乖照做了，敞开了自己的蓝色条纹睡衣，带上了蓝色的猫猫耳朵。

大家很爱看清醒的时候珉锡堂堂正正当大哥的样子，更爱晚上这只猫带着铃铛赤裸的躺在弟弟身体下面，被掐了脖子高潮，还要笑着说怎么孝敬哥哥还这么敷衍，晚上没吃饭吗，这么没劲。

世勋倒了酒，说醉醺醺听话的哥哥真的很少见，一般自己晚上三点和哥边喝边做的时候，能不能用珉锡哥的后穴还得看哥心情。

都暻秀在一边笑，说上次吴世勋被金珉锡要求撒着娇讲三行诗才能做。

世勋翻白眼呛了回去，“都暻子，你因为说平语晚上被珉锡哥拒绝多少次了你数过嘛。”

明天钟仁要赶去美国拍摄的飞机，现在这个人还一点不着急的抱着珉锡哥肩膀，嚷嚷指队长叫着说那俊勉哥还不是从没叫过哥。

灿烈捂嘴笑，“那你看他哪一次在上面了……”话没说完就被俊勉笑着敲了脑袋。

“啊西……”灿烈着急看着一边儿喝多脸红红的珉锡哥，“伯贤啊……你在日本的时候做的够多了，都暻子这家伙要陪着哥去服兵役，到时候在军队和哥一个房间能吃多好现在也不着急……所以这次能不能我先来……”

看来真的等不及了，这个狗崽子上次专门去珉锡哥家喝烧酒，在哥迷迷糊糊要亲亲的时候衣服都没来得及脱完，在客厅沙发就开始了……最后因为把衣服搞脏房子搞太乱，早上起来还被哥打了一顿。

“凭什么，醉酒时候的珉锡哥谁不想尝一口，我还最小呢，凭什么你先……”世勋从背包里摸出了手铐。小勋一直做乖乖弟弟，只是珉锡哥马上要走了，小勋舍不得。

“你这鬼小子……啊西……真是的。”钟仁在一边咂嘴。就是在日本的时候，世勋把这玩意儿带回来的。

世勋看朋友顺便来东京找过cbx小队，还参加了签售会。于是珉锡哥提前结束拍摄任务单独陪他。

攀山十分钟他们来到五重塔，朱红色和风建筑优雅清新，忍野八海人太多，怕走散世勋就紧紧把哥的内衬衣服抓住，珉锡格子外套是亚麻棉质的，蹭在弟弟手背上很痒。

天上山公园能鸟瞰到整个河口湖，旁边的神社边有长椅，走不动了珉锡就让小勋坐在外面的椅子上好好等着。哥回来的时候，手上闪出一枚好运御守，方正红火。左肩被轻轻搭上，眼前珉锡哥说求平安的，求我们小勋健健康康快乐成长。

世勋看到浅色头发的珉锡哥灿烂的笑着，身后河口湖在蓝色和绿色的波浪中流淌。

最后世勋实在走不动了，珉锡就向景区老板租二手观光车，一小时一千日元，但又不知道想了什么招让他收下了未汇兑的两万韩元，租来开了整整三个小时。世勋觉得不可思议，那个姓藤井的老板看起来完全不像是好说话的人 … 总之，哥像能搞定一切事情。

世勋就在那个时候有了一点点恻隐之心，他趴在小小的围栏上，居高临下用那个红色求签方块比划着遮挡远处哥去还车时小小的身影，最后自己还是去山脚无人店铺摸索了副手铐——和那个刻着日文的御守狠狠塞在一起之后落荒而逃。

之后就是首尔三巡的时候在休息室里被灿烈撞见。

那天的前一个舞台是小勋的水池独舞，世勋不喜欢在水里面跳舞，水是咸的，飞溅到眼睛里会刺的疼。刚染了头发，头皮也很涩。跳完之后边伯贤都暻秀队长他们上去衔接舞台了，小勋就一个人坐在休息室里擦水。

珉锡画好妆进来，拿着棉签悄悄的问世勋要不要擦耳朵里面的水。之后的舞台是哥和自己还有灿烈的rap部分，如果耳朵里水不擦干净还带耳返的话，耳朵会发炎。

世勋没讲话就只是把头伸着，哥也不管湿漉漉的浴巾还搭在沙发上就靠过来拽世勋的耳朵。擦了好久小勋没忍住，撅着嘴莫名其妙地说了一句——哥会一直陪着我吧。

珉锡没理他，擦完左边耳朵又去擦右边耳朵，世勋就闭着眼睛，脑袋里还有之前舞台音响嗡嗡的震动。围成隔间的四面墙，隔开了世勋与仓促喧哗的世界，刚才因跳舞兴奋而痉挛的内脏正在渐次解冻，甚至开始渗透脊柱。

哥换了个姿势单膝跪在沙发上，正对世勋的面门。世勋睁开眼就看见珉锡哥换了干毛巾在擦自己头发，悉悉索索盖在刚染的白发上，跳舞时候头部传来的刺痛也消失了。

温暖在耳后涓涓流淌，世勋掉进一大瓶汽水里，啪地一声被哥猛地撬开了盖子，然后噼里啪啦，泡沫争先恐后地从瓶口涌出来，世勋也跟着涌出来。

哥还是一句话不说，世勋赌气就伸手拽了金珉锡戴在脖子上的锁骨链。

珉锡一个趔趄手撑在了弟弟精瘦的大腿上，世勋被扑倒了。他抓住哥的手继续往下探，停在发烫的部位仰头看哥。

“哥会帮我吧。”

珉锡觉得小心试探的弟弟特别搞笑，裤裆鼓的不行还只是求哥哥用手帮忙。世勋浑身的水汽被哥握在手心里，他��轻喘了口气。

哥哥身上是干干的卫衣，嘴唇上还有好闻的冰美式和柚子混合的味道。世勋被摸的很舒服，耳边珉锡哥的喘息让他自尾椎激起一股直传入大脑的细微电流，水什么的快蒸发了，身体也在从内而外的热起来。

世勋想听哥说点什么，就幼稚的去咬珉锡的嘴巴。哥也没有躲开，张嘴教弟弟怎么接吻。世勋下腹发紧——灿烈就在这个时候风风火火地推门进入。

世勋闷哼一声，头迅速向另外一侧别过去，灿烈则直接傻掉。其实之前也都有互相做过，只是在后台休息室这样突然的冲动感觉，就像小型炸弹滴滴的不停响，噗嗤一声炸开，然后流出融化的冰淇淋奶油，弄脏哥好看的演出服。

舞台下的粉丝还在呐喊。

珉锡就那样平静的看着站在门口的灿烈，轻声喊了一句：“灿烈呐，一起来吧。”

现在珉锡哥马上要去部队了，世勋每一次想到这个事情就不开心。

其实令他不开心的事情还有很多，例如珉锡哥对所有弟弟都那么照顾，就显得对小勋自己的照顾失去了独特性。明明哥就只给小勋一个人求了御守呢，其他人凭什么啊。

再例如珉锡哥那么漂亮那么好看，到军队去了遇到那些军官霸王硬上弓怎么办。一想到眼眶微红衣冠不整的珉锡哥，世勋就一点冷静不下来，但是另一方面又告诉自己怎么可以这么想，真是太龌龊了。

就在fanmeeting的前几夜，都暻秀知道珉锡哥特别焦虑，以给哥做饭为由去了很多次珉锡在首尔的别墅。

简直是乘人之危，每一次酒过三巡珉锡称赞小嘟饭做的很好的时候，都暻秀就会瞪着圆眼睛靠近一些，装作特别无辜的样子小声质问，那哥怎么报答我？用上面还是下面呢？

一般都是用嘴巴或者手的，但是随着入伍时间的接近，哥也越来越焦虑，用后穴的时候也越来越多。小嘟和伯贤是发现最快的，伯贤在日本cbx巡演的时候因为需要上台表演防止生病，所以迫于压力一直忍着，直到一个城市的巡演结束才会和哥做到深夜。

都暻秀就完全没有这个压力了，珉锡哥在首尔的家里很少有正装，睡衣扣子只系了两颗就拉着弟弟进了卧室。珉锡喝了酒很兴奋，开始一边在抽屉里摸润滑，一边絮絮叨叨说着自己走了之后对大队活动和对弟弟们的担心。

小嘟一直是甜豆的模样温柔地笑着看珉锡哥，从睡衣下摆伸进来的手却不断按压摩挲着哥胸前敏感的肉粒，许久珉锡才惊觉自己的睡裤带子已经被彻底拉开了。

睡衣的内讨光滑柔软，接触皮肤时微微有些泛凉。哥从来都是那个最会把睡衣穿得凌乱又好看的人，小嘟无不理屈地想。

“我们珉锡总是担心一些完全没必要的事啊……”不喊哥——小嘟含住珉锡的耳垂轻轻舔舐，沾染上润滑液的手指缓慢滑动到穴口。

指尖探入时忍不住绷直了双腿，原本珉锡还可以听到自己卧室外树枝上的尖叫，现在也慢慢听不到了，取而代之的是都暻秀身上威士忌的烛火味道和焦虑消散的声音。

搅动在后穴里的手指尽数撤出，换上了更粗大的物体。珉锡就在那一刻哭出来，水珠从眼角处砸在小嘟的手上，然后变成雪花消失不见。都暻秀掰过哥的脸强迫他与自己对视，褐色眼睛中深沉的忧虑引得人心中一颤。

之后的fm舞台上，小嘟是对珉锡哥流眼泪最无动于衷的一位，还被灿烈阴阳怪气地说哥都哭了你还屁话不讲，你没话筒是吧。

其实暻秀在那天夜里才是第一个抹去哥眼泪的小孩，也是在那天夜里独自下定决心提前入伍陪着哥的小孩。

有的时候都暻秀是一个小孩，有的时候不是一个小孩。

不过无论金珉锡在担心什么，小嘟都不打算让他再有精力胡思乱想。

敏感点被反复撞击，积攒的痒意让珉锡哥忍不住夹紧了弟弟的腰，呻吟声逸出被堵住的唇舌。哥抱住了都暻秀的脖子。

之后的眼泪就丝毫没有情绪了，里面只有无限的欲望和哥哥断断续续的呻吟声夹杂在一起，珉锡、床单、睡衣全都皱缩陷入深处，也在这时想起一幅画，西斯廷圣母，还是什么基督的出生，总之这些圣洁的东西随着个头很大的玩物被不堪的抽出来，又一同压过前列腺，吹出大滴腥香的液体。

钟仁完完全全是个单纯好骗的小孩。

他单纯到在发现被捉弄之后会冲得逞的珉锡大喊讨厌，也会跟哥突然对视的时候直愣愣呆住，然后相信哥看着自己眼睛说的那句，钟仁是哥最最喜欢的小孩。

在跳舞特别累的时候坐在练习室里，也会因为突然出现的珉锡哥手里拿着奶油咖喱鸡，特别开心的去抱哥。钟仁像一只走起路来还摇摇晃晃的熊崽，他觉得自己从来不会像世勋一样霸道的要求哥帮忙，不会像灿烈伯贤一样是哥的粘人小狗，更不会像都暻秀一样只会乘人之危。

自己在一旁守护哥就好了，小熊时常对自己说。

只是没有哪个弟弟会承认哥就是自己心底里的最深欲望，但清醒的哥哥就像一条蛇，他吐着红信子咬破性爱的苹果，然后搭建好亵渎神明的家。

哥哥回家了，弟弟在太阳将落未落时，找到这个家。

宿舍没有那些让人头皮发麻的相机咔哒声，也没有粉丝尖叫和打歌台上熟悉的音乐。其他的成员们睡的很沉了，珉锡和钟仁才蹑手蹑脚的进来。

小熊因为自己是C位，就求哥再多陪自己练一会儿，珉锡哥点头同意，说正好也再看看走位有什么问题。

回去的路上两人什么话都没讲。打开浴霸暖黄色的灯，钟仁先进去把身上拍湿，又探出头来叫珉锡哥进来淋浴间一起洗。

随后一切就不可控制，钟仁无数次警告自己只看哥的眼睛就好，却还是不争气的起立。接着慌乱了，接着转过身，接着抱住自己，接着蹲下去，接着…接着…

哥拿着花洒俯下来的时候钟仁摸了把脸发现自己哭了，淋浴间是一座教堂，他扭头看到哥裸露的丰盈充实的肉体，看到让自己静待日升星坠的，蒙眼神像堆砌的致命罪行。

然后一个吻，浅浅地落到了小熊的额上。

所有的努力都前功尽弃——心怦怦地跳起来，从未有过的剧烈。钟仁的手一下子捏成拳，因为攥得太紧，没来得及怎么修剪的指甲掐痛了手心，而那一丁点的疼痛在此时狂乱的心前渺小得不值一提。

再一个吻，印到小熊的唇上。

若把前一个比作微风，那这一回，就是实实在在的吻了。

唇瓣被人吮吸着，迅速充血、红肿，一条灵活的舌头带着可以烫坏表皮的温度，撬开小孩微合的嘴巴，溜进口腔，肆无忌惮地卷起躲在最里面的、属于弟弟的那条，洗刷过牙龈、黏膜，拉扯着撞上坚固的牙齿，掠夺残存的氧气。

教堂里果树巨大无比，远处有巴达捷夫斯卡敲击琴键的声音。

接着钟仁什么忘记了，只是记得最后趴在哥哥颈窝抽抽嗒嗒的说对不起。

“没关系的，”珉锡哥的声音没有什么起伏，如同在诉说一条平淡无奇的故事寓言，“钟仁是哥最喜欢的小孩，做什么都没关系的。”

再来值得回忆的应该就是拜佛？这件事想想就让人啼笑皆非。

14年的时候丑闻满天飞，到最后小分队里没剩下什么人，珉锡也没指望能有什么翻盘的机会，只不过“我”和“我们”一样摇摇欲坠。大哥二字把金珉锡架在高台上，逼他众目睽睽之下迎合所有居心不良的暗箭，最后像蝉一样永远闭嘴，终结在夏天。

每个人都很难过，但你知道——人急着去完成一件必须完成的事情的时候是有些不择手段的。大队很快适应，在躲避4K高清镜头下珉锡和俊勉去了佛堂。

通度寺严格的门禁和整齐的结构让珉锡很喜欢这里，但真心拜佛的却只有俊勉一个。队长是相信永远的，变故只不过是被山贼放了一把火，烧掉写着圣诞愿望的卡片，打翻放在厨房里十二人份的罗望子酱和旺盛的雏菊。

任何时期的关系都有虚情假意，纠缠不清是因为没调和索取奉献的分配，是利息谈不着。而本金的事，大家都少有纠结。

永远与轮回都不单单靠命运齿轮的咬合，尽人事后才能有资格听天命，如若真心不想相见，一万次踠拜也求不来下世。

发呆片刻，俊勉想起大家之前约定过会一起拜佛。只不过当时视频里每一个人说出口的每个字都巧心安排、反复练习，套上些虚有其表的空壳子，求一个光鲜亮丽，求一个问心无愧。

真去的那天只有小队和哥。俊勉穿一身白，厚底鞋沉得像脚镣，不知道是想为什么赎罪。还是新人的年龄，还提年轻的愿望。过厚的鞋底踱在地上声音踢踢踏踏，俊勉忽然觉得像高跟鞋一样。

珉锡看见弟弟后笑了，说怎么穿婚纱来的，要结婚吗。

禅意的和弦还在摇曳，俊勉到佛龛的立柜前祷告，双手合十，神情虔诚。人与佛都应该被敬重，只不过无神论者供奉的永远都是凡间世人，俊勉被珉锡猛地拉起，钻进无人的小堂室。

压力特别大的时刻才首次实践，珉锡学着小电影蹲下来努力的吞咽，软软糯糯的小队就努力捂住自己嘴不发出声响，最后憋的俊勉像被碾碎的橘子一样渗出满溢的汁水，满眼恳求地喊哥。

后来珉锡就很少这样做了，一般都是换成俊勉来，所以俊勉也就很少喊哥了。

那天叩拜的房间还挂了一副拓印唐卡，画上密勒日巴坐在冈仁波齐山上的一个洞穴里，这是佛教徒和印度教徒的圣地。

在他面前，玛玛那若瓦湖像一罐冰镇柠檬汁衬托着老师玛尔巴。湖岸横七八竖的躺着五具尸体，他带着其他六个学生眺望山口，耀眼的冰雪骑在峰峦上呐喊。

画下面写着——就爱而言，休伦公道。

俊勉哥和都暻秀他们还在外面喝酒，珉锡已经在宿舍大床侧躺着了。灿烈在床边开始褪自己的裤子，伯贤半敞开衣服进来，手里拿着世勋的手铐。

哥清醒的时候，是妖娆的冰雪猫王；哥喝醉的时候，就是后穴大开大合的泄欲精灵。

灿烈随着哥腰肢款摆穿梭到了人类最初的交明聚落之一处，古老城墙浓缩成文明的暗影，梵蒂网城市里全是热风，灿烈急不可耐的抽出三指，把自己推进去，然后视野里出现了上下飞舞的蝴蝶。

都说了哥是精灵，哥可以召唤成群的美丽蝴蝶。

伯贤加入，他揪了灿烈一把示意这家伙别把哥抓的这么紧，然后把哥整个铺开。珉锡还意识清楚，于是在第一场性事里死咬下唇不抬头，也不承认被弟弟的阳具捅得流水。

被顶弄着发出哼哼唧唧的声音，伯贤坏笑，说哥，叫出来吧，别忍着。灿烈默契的低头含住相思豆一样的乳尖。珉锡哥刚松开咬着的嘴巴，就被看准时机的伯贤捏住了下颚。

咕叽声被哥悉数含进嘴里，牙关被撬起来，伯贤进入更深的口腔。将珉锡哥转了个角度，伯贤一下就挺近了温暖潮湿的喉咙里。

很大的阿纳斯雕塑塞进嘴里也可以塞满整个角落。穴里传来的快感越来越强烈，特别是每次研磨到敏感点又重重地擦过肠壁的时候，珉锡似乎双腿大开地躺在大雨里，头顶绽放一道道烟花。无奈嘴里被塞的太满，想叫床来排解一下燥热都很困难，只能不深不浅地呜咽。

哥的嘴唇像一块冰，融化后目光湿透，珉锡躺在灿烈的身体下面，说他很想看海。

前几年珉锡来跟灿烈一起看试拍花絮，他们在「미씽나인」剧组工作人员聚集的小岛上坐着，身体下的岩石崎岖嶙峋。

了库忒拉岛、云雾缭绕的帕福斯、渔港克尼多斯、还有矿产富饶的阿玛托斯。海浪的声音巨大无比，他们都不知道这是哪儿，这只是个海口，水很黏，一点亮光都没有，像撒旦在黑夜里打盹，海浪是震耳欲聋的鼾声。

灿烈问哥冷吗，珉锡就带着帽子摇头回应；灿烈很想再问——那哥会不会给我一点好的爱？但又不想听到让人难过的答案，就让沉默在他们之间的瓣隙中漫无边际地潮解。

孰真孰假的时刻，在小岛边缘慢慢走着。珉锡伸手拨弄了一下灿烈的三七分刘海，已经叫薄汗濡湿了贴在额头前，风一吹是值得瑟缩的凉。哥说我走了，你好好吃饭，不要生病。

只有这些吗？微凉的永夏夜里灿烈会读小王子，在海边相信羁絆，爱与伤痛。它的魔法会在读者变成大人的时候失效，最后感谢哥，让灿烈很短暂地拖延了看不懂小王子的进程。

岛上人已经很少，有的人在调试相机设备，也有人在靠岸的船舱里拿盛着饭团的便当盒，总之没有人会围观哥哥和弟弟的离别，他们仅仅站在一起就饱满欲滴，极像悲哀和怜惜的交色天空。

没有片刻休息，伯贤要求灿烈换位置，灿烈甩了甩头爬起来。闸门被打开，波浪倾污而出，淹没海口洲毫无防备的人。

珉锡意识开始模糊了，伯贤把他整个人翻到腹部朝下，怼着穴口就直接整根没入。灿烈让哥把头抬好，跪趴的姿势让珉锡重心不稳，跌跌撞撞的被顶弄还要注意收着自己的牙齿。

或许是伯贤自己热爱那些不切实际自由烂漫的逆行生活，如果没有阴差阳错地到关中，之后就不会见到艳丽的报春花和坦比哀多，不会好奇这个世界上怎么会有人是一半海水一半沙漠。伯贤看到半张脸置于阴影之下的哥哥，他到维纳斯的诞生。

伯贤掐了一把哥塌着的腰，引得穴口剧烈的回缩，随后世勋和钟仁进来了，手里拿着淡粉色的球型玩具。

世勋看到自己的手铐被扔在一边特别无语，说这两个人不用干嘛还从他手里抢走。

灿烈冷哼说你就是想亲自拷哥的手腕，我们还不知道你。伯贤在另一边摆着手应和，“世勋啊，快上来吧。”

世勋就等这句话迅速上床，然后就剩只喝了一点加莓丁饮料的钟仁独自站在床下了，手里拿着被都暻子塞过来的玩具踌躇不前。

像转动音乐盒那样各部位小齿键交叉运动，又像无数风吹着光焰从裂缝伸出，世勋打开机械环又扣好机械环。击打三角铁的钝器声音短促响起，珉锡就那样乖乖的被吊着手，身上最后一点衣服也没有了。

世勋本来有些惴惴不安，但看到哥还是一如既往平和的时候，他开始明白——哥从来不是哪一个小王子的知心狐狸，哥是所有人的玫瑰新娘。

手铐条件反射地弹起，弟弟扼向珉锡脖颈所在的位置，世勋俯下身去报复似的狠咬哥的耳垂，然后用所有人都听不到的声音说话。

“这个东西，哥以前早就发现了吧。各种无伤大雅的照顾送给我，你猜我想不想要？”

哥迷离的眼神主动求欢，弟弟快速进入，下体的充盈让珉锡再次开始流水。这回世勋生生地只朝渴望之处顶去，连捣带磨累积起来的快感像洪水猛兽在哥体内乱飞乱撞。

本来很想跟小勋说对不起，但所有东西都以嘉年华式的落幕做终结。一切欢呼声、音乐声、礼炮声、聚光灯熄灭的声音通通被珉锡甩到身后，他逃出生天了，也和世俗意义的大哥哥身份煎发远离。

很天真烂漫的童年时代，哥哥飙车漂移把摩托底座摔坏了舅舅会找人来修。生菜沙拉，葱炒蟹，整只甜口烤鸡，肚里塞了红彤彤的椒。妹妹和爸爸妈妈吃米饭，小珉锡就单独煮一锅拉面，还加了半勺的辣酱。奶奶收音机里放的是20世纪英格兰酒吧里的老古董音乐，但一家人出乎意料的喜欢听。

“一脚进，一脚退，但那样的生活是不值得的，所以我切断了联系，我跳出了轨道，你们等着我归来。”

“当我一开始学会说话时，我用了所有的言语来对抗。他和我，你和我。”

“这三个词变得很难说出口，我和爱和你。当时的你，今天的我。”

爱意野蛮生长，从来不循规蹈矩，珉锡对弟弟们的爱还没有被定格成太傅的标本，还没有接受娱乐教化的圆融，太美好了，以至于在日积月累里发现了它的古怪与孱弱，因此就不能只单单将其归咎为淫欲，还有情感井喷后的青涩与阵痛。

流动着，不安着，亢奋着，组成一个不太会说话的人，构成一个不太会被细嚼慢咽的语境，生长的痛被硬吞下之后只能在心里熊熊燃烧。

钟仁也被灿烈和伯贤拉了上来。配套的遥控开关亮着，玩具的尾部有根细线。

调试到一档之后和弟弟一起塞进去，珉锡已经射不出来什么了。弟弟跪坐在珉锡双腿中间摸了摸哥黑色浓郁的眉毛。

交合处从粉红色变成泛着泥泞的深红色，钟仁一边动作一边去看哥的眼睛。哥的单眼皮眼睛很亮，比沉睡魔咒里爱洛公主的还要亮，一定流过好多好多的眼泪才会长得这般好。

“哥在台上工作流出的眼泪，哥在床上高潮流出的眼泪，什么时候为我们流？什么时候为自己流？”

遥控器调到二档，跳蛋在顶端不断震动。总之，没有被拷着的一只手里，嘴巴里，胸膛里，后穴里，全是水波的声响。圣经里饥渴的以利亚，他按宙斯的旨意施行神迹，他被追杀，他在旷野中求死，却看到温柔直立的天使撕开裙摆，露出白净的阴唇。

制泡泡机器吹出泡泡，仿佛整个宿舍卧室充满映射了哥身影的泡泡。千千百百个珉锡撞开来印在泡泡上，扭曲的腰身像有千千万万个人从后面推了他一把，千千百百个珉锡身上有千千万万滴彩虹色的油墨，他迷靡地降在每一张圆桌上，裂碎在每个人面前。

不是骚情难耐，绵长的细线从撑开的穴里拉扯出来，混合的爱液大颗滚落，打湿床单，变成天生含毒的苹果。

仍然是选择小熊，像白天一样的，珉锡抱着钟仁开始摇头喃喃说不要了，不要了。钟仁听话的退出来回抱着哥，珉锡脖颈上全是唇型充血的淤青，锁骨处还有一排凝固的深深牙印。

透过贴紧的皮肤可以感受到珉锡心脏跳动起伏，钟仁说——哥要走了，我们太舍不得，哥会原谅我们吧。

珉锡先摇头，然后又点头，感觉弟弟在身边的夜晚人会奇妙地漂浮起来。

罗马城的冷艳与风度，以及隐秘的寂真，只有过深的美丽才能换来这样的麻木。钟仁思忆及此被推门的声音打断，想到今日哥哥要命的乖顺，原以为是做爱多了总会变得耐受起来，其实是往后的一年多再也没有如此激烈，为了弟弟们而努力成全。

已是深夜，都暻秀和队长最后进来的，俊��也喝的稍微有一点点多，脸有些红。

最后两人商榷，小队用上身，而小嘟则等到连同珉锡和自己的入伍事宜全数完成了之后，再跟哥做也不迟。

下面已经是灌满融化糖精的甜筒和自身疲软的性器，上面依然淋着大雨。弟弟们去洗漱了，俊勉温柔的爬到床头打开了手铐，一下一下舔着珉锡踝腕上被捆扎的殷红，让斑斑的痕迹从触目惊心变幻到有点旖旎。

本来没有什么感觉的，唾液刺激下却有丝丝温良。珉锡意识有一点恢复，他有意无意碰到俊勉的脸颊，像一块烙熟的馅饼，刚触碰的时候温度正常，但手指在上面长时间停留就会把皮肤滋滋地烫出疤痕。

俊勉心疼哥，就只好用珉锡的嘴。还是兜兜转转回到佛堂，只不过一转眼五年的光阴；还是咿咿呀呀唱的苏格兰乐队，只不过一睁眼就是二十年的恢宏。

“告诉那些需要知道的人，我端枪正在北上。”

“你知道我现在的样子吗，我的双手摇晃我的头，它旋转。”

“这三个词变得很难说出口。我和爱和你。我和爱和你。我和爱和你。”

命运是阶梯，托举上下彷徨的人短暂停留，理不清的缘分往后也会有再多，但两个哥哥的突然相逢则是对所有弟弟的施救。世界在重构，时间缓缓流动。

行至此处，弟弟终于不用再浪费心愿去祈祷终焉后的睛天。雨幕中穿行，天空降下爱意，浸濡全身。好多的爱，好多的雨。

又是雾罩的清晨，珉锡穿着入伍的军服剃干净了头发。

又是骄阳高悬的白昼，哥笑起来依然那么好看。

#xiumin #exo #byun baekhyun #kim minseok #baekhyun #chanyeol #sehun #do kyungsoo #suho

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ganen-cheese · 2 years

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Hello :3 About mdzs, it's so nice you've tried all adaptations :) I'm curious but do you have a favorite moment in the book? also if I may ask again, between drama/anime/dramaCD, what is your favorite version of the wangxian song? :D sorry for all the questions, you can ignore if you want~ have a nice day, and thank you so much for offer us amazing mdzs content!!!

AHHH!! Thank you for all the questions heheheheh I love talking about MDZS sldfkj. Thank you so much!! And you read MDZS too!!!!!!!! <3333333

Spoiler warning!

Favorite version of the WangXian song:

Definitely the Chinese Drama CD's WangXian!!!! It's the MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER!!!!

I've repeated it 10 billion times.

Random favorite moment:

When Wei Wuxian was making drunk and dirty Lan Wangji take a bath to clean himself up after the chickens and vandalism and Lan Wangji also swiftly took off Wei Wuxian's clothing's tie and Wei Wuxian was like "No, no!? I'm not gonna go in with you!?"

It's the time Wei Wuxian wanted to ask drunk Lan Wangji how he felt about him (and kept telling himself that's all his motive). It's so cute how embarrassed Wei Wuxian was about the bath scene, even while he already saw nekkid Lan Wangji in the past. You can really see how conscious he is of Lan Wangji as a romantic interest and I think this kind of "first time" -ness of Wei Wuxian was really cute, even while he was actively trying to know Lan Wangji's feelings for him.

Meaningful favorite moment:

This is difficult!!! I love so many things.

I loved when Wei Wuxian was showing Lan Wangji around Yunmeng/Lotus Pier. Lan Wangji always overtly "rejected" Wei Wuxian's insistent invitations before, he "appeared" in Yunmeng before but it was never an "official visitation" and Wei Wuxian didn't think it was him Lan Wangji was looking for, and it ended in an argument when Lan Wangji insisted on Wei Wuxian to come back to Gusu with him again.

So when Wei Wuxian finally got the chance to have Lan Wangji in Yunmeng to show around, it was so cute (while also sad because of all the memories of his childhood he can't have back, but I am so happy that he got to actually go back, with Lan Wangji - he doesn't have to be alone).

It's like doing everything he wanted to do with Lan Wangji before, and more. He showed all his childhood trails, made Lan Wangji eat the foods he liked, visited the memorial of his foster parents to let them meet Lan Wangji no matter what (and did the two bows with him while holding off on the third bow for a hopeful some day ;o; ), climbed the tree he was stuck in (but didn't tell him the real reason ofc ;w; ), and of course, the moment he jumped straight into Lan Wangji's arms and he caught him (;-; ). It's so cute the way Wei Wuxian slowly realized his own feelings secretly and it was so nice seeing him just....... having a date with Lan Zhan (before he was only 3 year old Xian Xian asking his sister what it's like to like someone... but now he is... at least 10 year old Xian Xian XDDD), and then later slowly moved to know Lan Wangji's feelings as well. (;o; )

*****

Wei Wuxian to Wen Chao

"Oh, can you remind me again what punishment awaits those who humiliate a Wen cultivator? How are they punished again? If I remember correctly, I think they are cut down and killed on the spot. Is that correct? Yeah... That's nice.

So you can go die now"

******

"I have to make sure to repay the debt they have granted me"

"Nonesense! Why do you make other people pay the price for the debt that you owe!"

******

I also liked, in the cave, when Lan Wangji saved Wei Wuxian and got his foot bit by Xuanwu, and while he was being dragged away Wei Wuxian saved Lan Wangji then carried him away.

Oh and any image of Lan Wangi, Wei Wuxian and A-yuan.

(T.T )

******

"I REALLY WANTED TO SLEEP WITH YOU!!!"

******

And when Wei Wuxian lets Lan Wangji save him hehe in Guanyin Temple hehe.

I think there are so much more but I just can't remember right now but ahhhh everything is perfect. I love Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Times were so rough and sad before but everything is paid off in the end and they are happy husbands (;o; )!!!

Again, thank you so much!!! Hehehe I might edit if I remember more...

#Asks #miyakuli

59 notes · View notes

tofufei · 1 year

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I posted 4,600 times in 2022

That's 51 more posts than 2021!

251 posts created (5%)

4,349 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@disasternoj

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I tagged 1,988 of my posts in 2022

#art - 153 posts

#kitties - 89 posts

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Longest Tag: 133 characters

#i am very willing to sacrifice hours of sleep for an opportunity to talk to her the way she's sacrificed work hours but like 这也真不是个办法

My Top Posts in 2022:

一把刀而已 // he's just a sword, nothing more

22 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

burrito mei changsu for @ineedarendezvous

[ID: A digital, colored drawing of Mei Changsu's head peeking out of a burrito. He wears his hair up in a bun with a green jade guan to fix it and a deadpan expression. His fluffy, white coat collar resembles rice spilling out of the burrito. (He looks positively warm and bundled up.) End ID]

64 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

Little Mushroom Audio Drama Trailer [ENG SUB]

Synposis from 猫耳FM:

Do not go gentle into that good night, do not peacefully surrender to extermination.

Earth's magnetic field disappeared, mutated organisms invaded, the end of the world is near. A little mushroom from the Abyss makes its way into a human base on the search for the spore it has lost, and runs into The Arbiter Lu Feng. One human, one not, they meet at the end of the world and get to know each other, and together they walk into a future in which the only thing certain is uncertainty…

Some notes on this translation under the cut.

An overly literal back-translation of the Chinese poem:

不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night,

我们应在日暮之时燃烧。// We should burn in the hour the sun sets,

怒斥、怒斥光阴的消逝。// Rage, rage at the vanishing of time and light.

尽管智者深知黑暗终将到来。// Even if the wise are fully aware that darkness will inevitably come.

尽管他们的话语无法再迸发出闪电。// Even if their words are unable to make lightning burst forth again.

不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night.

在这悲哀的山巅。// Here, on the sorrowful mountaintop.

请用你的眼泪诅咒我、祝福我。// Please curse me, bless me with your tears.

不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night.

Notes on the Chinese translation of the poem:

This makes the other changes feel very much like deliberate choices on the author's part, even if they do leave me puzzled

No references to the gendered figures (wise men, my father)

In the second verse, 尽管 is repeated for emphasis where it wasn’t in English

I thought it prudent to back-translate the poem since there are some changes and they aren’t that minor.

Back-Translation process:

Pretended the original didn’t exist and translated it off the Chinese alone

Compared it to the original and modified it so that it still stayed 95% faithful to the Chinese while calling back to the original

Tried to keep the ABA rhyme scheme and felt powerful af when I managed to make the 2nd line in all the tercets rhyme

Squished or stretched the lines into 10 syllables, while still keeping as close to both Chinese and English as possible

Despair. Because at this point I should maybe just have used the original poem or gone for a freer translation, what am I even trying so hard for when this comes nowhere close at all to the original

What I ended up using in the subs of the AD Trailer, ABA ryhme scheme, 10 syllables per line if you squint*

不要温和地走入那个良夜。 // Do not go gentle into that good night.

我们应在日暮之时燃烧。 // We ought to burn the hour nightfall nears.

怒斥、怒斥光阴的消逝。// Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

尽管智者深知黑暗终将到来。 // Though the wise know darkness will bring its blight.

尽管他们的话语无法再迸发出闪电。 // Though their words no longer fork lightning fierce.

不要温和地走入那个良夜。 // Do not go gentle into that good night.

在这悲哀的山巅。// Here, on top of sorrowful mountain's height.

请用你的眼泪诅咒我、祝福我。 // Please, I ask, curse me, bless me with your tears.

不要温和地走入那个良夜。// Do not go gentle into that good night.

*and pronounce hour with 2 syllables

Some thoughts on translation choices, apparently: