#꒰🖇꒱ how it feels to be replaced 002 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atl4ntxc · 3 years

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—character(s), Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmo, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos.

—genre, angst.

—cw/tw, insecurity, mentions of weight loss, symptoms of bulimia, inner voices, mention of disease, mean voices.

—notes, i am not romanticizing, encouraging nor glorifying bulimia or any type of ed. this is simply written for fanfiction, while raising awareness and educating on such topics that do not get talked about often.

please do not plagiarize, copy, translate or repost on any platform/website without my consent. the headers used are mine and should not be used by anyone.

also, please do not harm your body just to get skinnier or make your weight be reduced in an unhealthy way, health comes first, and it's your body, you can choose what you eat and how you look. ignore the people who says otherwise.

how it feels to be replaced 001<

how it feels to be replaced 003<

You started distancing yourself from everyone, focusing on your weight and education, at the same time ignoring your genetic illness and mental stability.

Questions started to surface as you look at Ella and the brothers from the side lines, insecurity blinding you.

Am I wanted?

Am I good enough?

Am I skinny enough?

Am I smart enough?

Am I pretty enough?

Am I funny enough?

Am I good enough?

Am I enough?

These questions lingers inside your mind for days, turning into weeks and months.

You used to be such a cheerful person, filled with energy and being able to light up a whole room with a single warm smile. Well, you used to.

Now those labels are for Ella, the blue-haired female (which was obviously dyed) with blue contacts. Her whole theme was blue, and god, you had never counted about how many times you just wanted to dip her in blue paint so she could become entirely blue for the rest of her life.

You drunk your 6th cup of coffee, which was undenibly unhealthy and rubbed your eyes, vision becoming blurry as sleepiness started to consume you. Sure, caffeine can boost the metabolic rate and increase fat burning, but after a while you became tolerant to the effects and it stopped working.

You usually have a cup of black coffee with a mix of lemon juice in the morning, and two during the day and three during night.

Your belly fat reduced, and slowly, your weight also drops.

Beelzebub had began to grow more concerned when he noticed that you never really came down to eat, even during breakfast. He had always saved your meal, but you never came out of your room.

When he brings your meals to your room, he would often find you infront of your computer, hair messy, books scattered across the room, some opened, some closed, while some were torn.

He also noticed that your skin had became rough and scaly, nails turned brittle, neck calluses on your knuckles and how red your eyes were.

Demons were not wise about human illnesses, while some researched and showed interest, some never bothered to acknowledge them. Beel was worried for you and your health— so, he asked Satan.

"I'm not sure what those mean, Beel. I'll search for it later,"

Well, that wasn't very helpful.

He walked back to your room to see you asleep on your desk, computer still open as a trail of saliva escapes your mouth, indicating on how tired you were. Beelzebub, being the gentleman he is, carefully picked you up and put you on your bed, gently tucking you to sleep.

You woke up at around 3 am, and noticed that you had a miss a whole day, sleeping, when you could've studied and work out. You wanted to rip your hair out in frustration as you kept gritting your teeth over and over again.

"Beel, go call Mc. We're having dinner,"

"Okay." He mumbled, agreeing to Lucifer's request and he made his way to your room. Beel knocked on your door and waited for a few minutes before growing concerned. "Mc?"

Beel?

Why is Beel here?

No.

Go away.

Don't... you can't see me like this.

Stay away, Beel.

I can't.

You can't see me like this.

You're mind started going south as you panicked and limped to the bathroom that was provided. Staring into the mirror, was not the same person that was staring back.

The insecurities grew and the demons inside you started to grow more and more out of control, but yet you still kept fighting the urge to #### ###### and #### ########.

You shook your head and washed your face, lifting the corners of your mouth up with the two of your index fingers. You stared at the mirror for a couple of minutes and opened the bathroom door to see... Beel?!

"Beel?! Archons, you scared me."

"I'm sorry, Mc."

You forgave him, and he asked for you to join dinner, yet you refused. You can't eat. You'll gain more weight. You're not eating dinner. Skip dinner. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip. Ski—

"I'd like that."

What are you doing?!

You can't eat!

Shut up and listen!

You'll be fatter!

No, don't!

Ignoring the voices, you slightly smiled at Beel and made your way towards the dining room, where you can see all the brothers, including the bitc- Ella.

Your ability to walk was slowly dissappearing each day, and your legs will eventually be paralyzed, whether you like it or not. It's not deniable and it is not curable, you're legs won't be working anymore in the future and you'd have to learn to accept that.

You walked in using a mobility aid, Beel assisting you so that you won't fall.

"You look horrible. What is that for?" Lucifer asked, standing up from his seat and making his way towards you. You paused and spoke slowly, "...I need them... for..." Lucifer raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms, hissing. "For what, exactly?"

"Lucifer, stop it."

"Shut it, Beel."

You lowered your head and moved your gaze to the floor, legs shaking as your vision got worse, indicating that you would be experiencing another symptom.

"..."

Silence. The room was filled with silence.

Tears clouded your vision at the mere mention of your illness, because you knew about how you'd end up when you first got diagnosed with a rare inherited disease.

"Well?"

"I...just need them, Lucifer. Please don't... make me remember things that I don't want to." You mumbled, squeezing Beel's hand tighter in discomfort. Beel immediately took note and looked at you, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he whispers, "Are you okay?".

You nodded, asking Beel to take you to your seat with poor pronounciation of words, leaving Beel a bit confused but he understood a few seconds later. Lucifer sighs and furrows his eyebrows, to show how upset he really was.

Before dinner began, Lucifer started, "Lord Diavolo has something to announce. We will have dinner with him, celebrating the new arrival of an exchange student. Apparently, he chose the new exchange student without telling me."

"Ha?! Another exchange student? Is he another human?" Mammon gasped, his eyes wide with shock as he almost fell of his chair. "Oh my, what gender is the student?" Asmo spoke, putting his palm againts his cheek, intrigued.

"Another normie. No one special,"

"Well, that certainly is a surprise. How come we were never informed of a new residence inside the House of Lamentation?" Satan closed his book, not forgetting to mark it before. "I'm not sure myself."

"Well, end of conversation, Lord Diavolo would be arriving shortly."

Woah, they really forgot about your existence huh? Shockers.

You really aren't important then.

That's hilariously pathetic!

You should've listened to us.

"Shut up!" You suddenly yell out, clutching your head in stress. Beel shook your shoulder and made you look at him, and you could see how worried he really was. "Are you okay, Mc?"

Uh oh!

Should've listened, Mc.

This is so funny!

That's just embarrassing. Anyway, would you like some tea?

You took a deep breath and nodded. "Excuse me?" You lifted your head to see an angry Lucifer. " 'm so...rry. i didn't mean to do... that." You slurred, making Lucifer look at you suspiciously as he sighed, "Just don't do that again."

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

This isn't proofread.

TAGLIST ;; @gallantys (send me an ask to be tagged)

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