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autisticirishgoodbye · 10 months
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Sleeby
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guineapiggies · 7 months
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Via theguineaporks
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lean-ground-beefro · 3 months
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welcome to the stage...
a Joel Miller one shot: Flip the Switch
Pairing: CEO!Joel Miller x F!Reader Prompt from @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog:
𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 =Santa!Joel x elf!reader 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕥 = you’ve been a lazy elf so Santa Joel punishes you
Summary: You've been tasked with being Joel's 'Helper Elf' at this year's Christmas Party and good god do you hate your job... Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) Word Count: 3,562 Content Warning: DubCon, Smutty smutty smut smut, fingering (f receiving), p in the v - unwrapped, degradation, power plays, power imbalance, boss / employee dynamic, swiches, dom/sub dynamic, name calling, couch fucking Author's Notes: I am @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog's Secret Santa and I am so sorry for how late this is, bb! I am thankful for you and I hope you enjoy my first foray our of the chubby universe.
Thank you to @softpascalito, @theywhowriteandknowthings & @neverwheremoonchild for their eyes and beta skills. 💜🥦💜
Santa-baby-I've-been-an-swful-good-girl regards,
Beefro👌🥦💜
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When you’d been asked to dress as Joel’s ‘Helper Elf’ to his ‘CEO Santa’, you’d scoffed at the idea, already planning on resigning from being one of his company’s administrative assistants. You were tired of the long hours and being worked to the bone for very little pay and respect, but you decided to hold off to see the shitshow that the company’s Christmas party would be since Joel himself was in charge of planning it.
Joel was an egotistical brute who had no business being allowed to mingle with people in an enclosed space. His only saving graces were his brother, Tommy – CFO and President, and the only one who could rein him in - and his stupidly handsome, brooding good looks. He infuriated you; he knew he could get away with just about anything because he was the boss and most of the peons were scared shitless of his brutal tirades being directed at them. He threw it in almost anyone’s face how loaded he was and that he owned them. You hated him as much as you loved how quickly you came on your vibrator when though about his voice, his eyes, his hands that were burned into your memory. Fuck Joel Miller and fuck his cocky fucking smirk.
The day of the party you’d been given a cheap, sleezy looking elf costume with an email soon landing in your inbox with instructions to wear it that night, along with what your duties would be. Rolling your eyes, you read the email and realized that you would be spending the entire evening at Joel’s side, truly being his ‘Helper Elf’. You were to make sure he knew every person’s name (you rolled your eyes because if he really gave a shit about the people who worked for him, he’d already know their names), make sure he had food and a drink available to him all night (great – you were going to be a glorified personal waitress for the douchebag), make sure the event ran smoothly (as the one who apparently planned the event, why was this up to you?), had out gifts as ‘Santa’s Helper’ to the employees (groan…), and lastly, keep him company throughout the evening.
The whole thing made you rethink waiting to quit and you huffed, looking down at the cheap, probably highly flammable, elf costume on your desk.
“Fuck it.”, you groaned, picking it up and shoving it into your purse and heading to the bathroom to change.
*****
You were silently cheering yourself on. All evening, you’d made a conscious decision to be as annoying and useless as possible for Joel, and boy oh boy!, you’d gotten under his skin. Two hours into the party, and Joel had gone to get his third refill at the bar because you weren’t ‘paying attention’ and he’d also missed out on most of the buffet because you ‘forgot’ to get him a plate. You’d also managed to ‘unknowingly’ give him several wrong names, making him look like an ass towards several employees who’s names he really should have known. When it came time to hand out presents, you conveniently were ‘required’ to make yourself scarce and were unable to help.
While he’d barely said more than a few sentences to you, his scowl said everything you needed to be satisfied. At this point, you’d had more than a few drinks, and while you still maintained your professionalism, you’d stopped adjusting your skimpy elf costume and let it ride up higher on your thigh as you sat next to Joel. You’d caught him looking down at your bare lap more than once, making you grin to yourself.
*****
You had to give him his due; Joel had managed to put on a not-mediocre, standard office Christmas party. It was more than you thought he was capable of. That, and the fact that he kept the stupid Santa suit on the entire evening and posed for pictures with anyone who asked. You swear you might have even seen a genuine smile on his face when his brother came up for a picture dressed as a reindeer.
What really made you happy though was when Tommy asked Joel how his night was going, and you heard him respond, “Strapped me with a lazy fuckin’ elf, Tommy…” as his face held a cold sneer.
Right under that smile was the asshole who you’d found so much delight in needling all night.
By the time the party wrapped up, you figured you’d done your duty and you’d be free to go home and continue the party with a cheap bottle of wine and your cat. Everyone else had left and as you grabbed your bag from under the table, you heard Joel’s telltale stomps come up behind you. Before you could turn around, he had his hands on your waist, pushing you against the table.
“Think you’re bein’ cute, sugar?”, he growled into your ear.
“The fuck are you doing?!”, you snapped back, trying to wriggle out of his grasp more out of surprise than disgust.
He held you tighter, his thick fingers digging into your waist, and you could feel your panties getting wet.
“Don’t you fuckin’ move… can you follow that fuckin’ direction?”
“Oh Jesus! Just fuck off!”, you snarled back, again, trying halfheartedly to remove his hands from you, but hoping he didn’t let go.
He grunted as you shoved him back and turned around. You both stood and glared at each other, daring the other to make the first move. A small, menacing grin spread on Joel’s face as he took a few slow steps towards you.
“No one’s fucked the Christmas spirit into you yet, sugar?”, he growled, licking his lips and roughly pushing you back onto the table.
“Oh, fuck you! You couldn’t fuck a quack into a duck, you asshole.”
He raised his eyebrow at you and gave you a warning look before roughly gripping your chin and forcing you to look up at him. He brought his face close to you and stared down at you meanly.
“You’re a shitty helper elf. Don’t you dare be a shitty lay, too.”
Before you could respond, he hoisted you up on the table, shoved the skirt of your dress up around your waist and pushed his fingers against your clothed core, making you let out an involuntary moan and a buck of your hips.
“Fuckin’ sweet, sugar…”, he purred, eyeing you with a grin.
You rolled your eyes and groaned against his touch. “You’re a disgusting old man, Miller.”
“Fuck, you’ve got a nasty little mouth on you…”, he murmured with a devilish grin as he pushed your legs apart and stood between them.
You swallowed hard as he grasped your neck. His other hand’s fingers moved between you and his eyes fluttered. He groaned when he felt how wet you were through your panties.
“Fuckin’ eh, sugar…”, he cooed, returning his softer gaze towards you. “You wet for daddy?”
You sucked in a breath as he circled your covered clit with his index finger, and tried to sound as firm as you could. “Fuck off with that ‘daddy’ shit, Miller.”
He tsk’d you, griping your throat tighter. “You and your mouth, sugar…”, he chuckled, watching you squirm, then growled. “You’re gonna be begging me to be your daddy when I’m done with you.”
That was it. This man had fucked around enough with you as your boss and now he wanted to demean you like this? Pulling yourself together, you pushed his chest and shoved him off you with all your might and before he could pounce on you again, you quickly moved to the side, causing him to lean over the table.
You shoved him forward, and to your surprise, he didn’t resist. Instead, he chuckled. “What’re you gonna – “
It infuriated you that despite your rejection of him, he was still smiling and seemingly enjoying himself.
“Just shut up!”, you snarled back, snaking your hand around his front and gripping his infuriatingly impressive cock through his cheap, fuzzy red pants.
“You fuckin’ shit… you’ll never be my daddy…” You could feel him get harder as you growled into his ear. “Too fuckin’ old to even pin me down…”
“Ungh…sugar… oh fuck…”, he panted, rutting his hips and griding his cock against your hands.
The fact that Joel was getting off to your less-than-kind words was not lost on you and you scoffed.
“This how you’re gonna get off, Joel?”, you cooed coldly into his ear as he panted. “Big tough Miller gets off to girls telling him no?”
“Please… sugar… fuck… please…”
“That the best you can do? You’re pathetic, you know that?”, you snapped at him as you shoved the front of his pants down, freeing his cock.
You stood back and tugged his arm, signalling him to turn over, and when he did, his cock did not disappoint. He was huge and the head was angry and weeping. He watched your face, eyes staring in wonderment at his dick as your mouth parted, jaw going slack. He grinned and chuckled, causing your eyes to meet his, only making you angrier with him.
“Fuck you, Miller!”
“Calm down, sugar… not the first whore to get cock dumb on me…”, he cooed, still with a smug grin on his face. He reached out trying to pull your hand to his member.
You yanked your hand away and spat into your palm before gripping his cock and starting to jerk him.
“Fuck you, Miller.”, you seethed lowly. “Fuck you and your fuckin’ smug face.”
“Why you – fuck… why you so pissed, sugar?”
“You’re such a pompous dick! So fuckin’ arrogant and you’re a shit boss.”, you fumed, continuing to pump his cock, causing him to pant. “Throwin’ your money in people’s faces, not knowing their names… someone better put you on your place, Miller. After tonight, I quit, you smug fuck!”
It was like a switch flipped; he snapped out of his submissive and amused state as soon as the words left your mouth. He gripped your wrist, ripping it off his cock and sat up, his other hand going around your throat.
“I don’t think so, sugar. You’re not going anywhere.”
He stood up, holding your wrist and throat, and guided you backwards to the couch and pushed you down on it. You fell back, your legs parted, and he took advantage of this. Joel leaned over you, pushed your panties to the side, and shoved two of his thick fingers into your sopping wet cunt, causing you to yelp.
“You can take it, sugar.”, he smiled menacingly at you, then growled through clenched teeth, “And you’re gonna take it.”
He pounded up into you with one hand while the other gripped your hair in his fist. The sounds that came from your mouth were foreign to you. Yeah, you liked it rough, but this was different. This was your soon-to-be former boss, finger banging you on a couch after a Christmas party and after you’d just about had him wailing your name. You had no idea what had happened to flip him, and before you could get too deep into your thoughts, he hit the perfect spot. That sweet, spongy spot in your pussy that less than half the me you’d fucked had even accidentally grazed, and here was Joel, repeatedly hitting it like it was a doorbell it was an emergency house call.
“Oh fuck!... right th -  yes!... fuck… Joel, there… yes!”
As you felt your walls start to flutter and when that white hot heat started its ascent, he pulled away, grin on his lips.
You sat up on your elbows and looked at him, mouth open and eyes pleading. “What are y-?”
“Fuck you, that’s what.”, he grunted with a grin, shoving his slick fingers into his mouth and sucking.
You could only stare up at him in response. When he finally deemed his fingers clean, he pulled them out of his mouth with a pop and grinned at you.
“Tell you what, sugar. You take back what you said, and I’ll fuck you right here on this couch like you deserve.”
Confused, you continued to lookup at him until it dawned on you.
“You want me to not quit?”
He nodded, grin dropping from his face.
“You think I worked Tommy over to let you be my fuckin’ ‘Elf’ and put up with your bullshit attitude tonight for you to just quit on me, sugar?”, he asked lowly, leaning over you, pinning your head between his elbows.
“Think I haven’t watched that fuckin’ body of yours sashay ‘round the office and had to fuck my fist when I finally got alone?”, he crooned is a husky whisper, pressing his hot mouth on your neck and alternating between licking and nipping your skin. “Think I don’t notice your ass in those skintight skirts and imagine you sittin’ on my face?”
You let out a moan and gripped his shoulders, trying to pull him further into you. He quickly pulled back and sat up on his knee packed between your open legs, and grabbed your hands.
“I’m not hearin’ what I need to, sugar…”
You were frustrated and needy, hating that he had gotten the upper hand on you. Stubbornly, you shook your head.
“Fuck you, Miller. You’re a shit boss and a shit person and I’m not gonna let you fuck around and get nothin’ in return!”
His eyes darkened and his frown hardened into a scowl. He gripped your chin, pulling you up to him as he leaned down to you, feeling his hot breath on your face.
“Listen here, you little bitch. If that’s what you really want, I’ll send you outta here with my fuckin’ bastard in your belly whether you like it or not as a reminder of what you fucked up.”, he growled, holding you stare as if to challenge you.
You could feel your slick flowing from you, dripping out of your cunt and down your crack. Your mind and body were screaming ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in a pathetic battle with themselves at his threat.
“Or…”, his tone softened, as did his grip on your chin, “you can stay and get a promotion.’”
Your face morphed from pleading to confused again. “A-a promotion?”
“A promotion?”, he mocked. ”Yeah, sugar. A fuckin’ promotion.”
He lazily dragged his hand down your body, slipping it between your legs again and into your panties, and began rubbing small, light circles around your clit. You shifted, brows folding as you fought to keep your breath steady and eyes on him, refusing to break again and beg him again.
“You’re good at your job, and I agree… you don’t get enough for all your hard work. How ‘bout this, baby… you work exclusively for me… be my girl here… my helper elf all year round – minus the shitty, bratty attitude you came here tonight with – and I pay you what you’re worth…”
It took all your strength to not cave right then and there, but you were stubborn. “A personal cocksleeve for the office? How fuckin’ charming.”, you snapped back, in a voice far shakier and breathier than you had hoped it would be.
Joel smiled and chuckled darkly, continuing to tease your clit.
“You keep actin’ like you don’t want this, sugar, but my hand can feel your poor little pussy throbbin’ and needin’ me… and I’m sure your bank account would appreciate my attention as well.”
“Fuck you.”
“I plan on it, baby.”, he grinned menacingly. “But I gotta know how you want it… one last fuck… or…”
He nudged his nose against yours.
“My own, personal, little sugar… who’s so good at her job… and can keep me in my place when she wants… get me on my knees and make me beg… and let me fuck her into submission when I need it.”
When you tried to push up against him, he held you in place, keeping his fingers in your folds and his face close to yours in an act of dominance.
“No… I’m the boss right now, sugar, and I asked you a question. I expect an answer.”
You couldn’t help the whimper that crept out of your throat and that was all Joel needed. He kissed you, softly at first then increasing the fervour, prying your mouth open with his lips and tongue. Teeth and spit helping your faces mash together.  The hand he had between your legs moved to his waistband and he pulled it down, again, freeing his cock then gripping it. He pulled back slightly and slid its thick head through your slick.
“Tell me you want it, sugar…”, he grunted, looking at you from under heavy eyelids.
“Fuck…”, you breathed out, your pussy clenching on nothing. “I… of fuckin’ course I want it!”
“Ask nicely, sugar. Drop the attitude.”
“Fuck… please… please, Joel! I want it… I want you… I wanna be… fuck you for making me say it… I wanna get that promoti – aah!.”
Before the last syllable could come from your mouth, Joel pushed your panties aside and shoved his cock into your heat, giving no grace period for you to adjust.
“S’what I thought, sugar.”, he huffed out in a grin.
“Please… oh fuck, please move, Joel!”
“Yeah? Why? ‘Cause your pussy’s too tight for me? ‘Cause you haven’t been fucked by a man with a big dick and bank account?”, he cooed, tilting his hips to push further into you, his tip pressed firmly against your cervix.
“Fuck! Yes… please!”, you yelped, squirming under him. All thoughts of trying to take any control back were being forced out of you by his dick and he knew it.
His smug grin stayed firmly on his face as he pulled out in a painfully slow movement before slamming back in, pushing you further up the couch. He grabbed your hips and held you as he did it again.
“Faster… faster, Joel…”
He shook his head, still grinning. “Uh-uh…”
He kept his slow exit, harsh entry going as he watched your face contort and your cunt clench and release him. You were sure he was just torturing you, but the way he looked down at your face and body mixed with the even pace he was keeping and his size, you knew he knew what he was doing. You could feel the heat building up again, and he could, too.
“That’s it, sugar… I can feel it… come on, baby… lemme have it…”
The wave of your first orgasm hit you, rippling through your body and pulling a long, loud moan from your mouth.
“Oh, good girl!… finally, takin’ directions… good girl…”
He let you start to come down before he picked up your foot, placed a kiss on your ankle and draped it over his shoulder.
“That’s right, sugar… did so good for me, now I’m gonna return the favour.”
He thrusted into you harshly and picked up the speed, forcing your spend out onto both your thighs and his curly thatch of salt and pepper hair that crowned his cock. He pummelled you over and over, bringing you to the cusp of another orgasm and pulled out.
“Turn around… on your knees, sugar.”, he grunted, swatting at you.
You had to fight your trembling body and shaky legs to move, but once you got up on your knees on the couch, back facing Joel, he took over and moved your body into position.
“Now I get it, baby… you behave when you know you’re gettin’ something…”, he chuckled, pushing your face against the cushioned headrest. “Gonna have to get a reward system in place… give you a gold star and a fuck when you do good…”
Before you could return a snappy comeback, he pushed his cock back into you, making the only sound your mouth could produce be a whine.
The angle that he was fucking you in was even better and more intense than before. His grunting and murmured praises filled the room along with the wet, vulgar noises of his cock impaling your cunt. You felt another orgasm coming on, but it was more. Your pants turned to whiny yelps and moans and you felt like something was about to burst.
“Joel… Joel!”
“I know… can feel it… come for me, sugar… come on…”
“Joel… it’s – unhg!... I’m…”
You felt the bubble burst and cried out, collapsing on the couch. Joel let out a grunt-turned-moan at the flood of liquid pouring out of you, holding your hips, and continuing to fuck into you. His thrusts got sloppy and as you leaned on the back of the couch for support, he punched into you one last time, holding your hips against him tightly as he unloaded himself into your pussy with a loud groan.
When you tried to move, his hand moved to your back, soothing over it, as he panted. “Stay put, sugar… just… just stay put.”
You relaxed and laid forward, putting your weight on the couch, and closed your eyes. You could feel his cock twitching in you as it began to soften. His weight shifted and he pressed a kiss between your shoulder blades. The uncharacteristically gentle action made your eyes open abruptly and you sucked in a breath.
Joel’s chuckle reverberated against your back through his chest. “Congrats on your promotion, sugar.”
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@theywhowriteandknowthings @harryleatherfit @toxicanonymity @harriedandharassed @neverwheremoonchild @rebel-held @beee-haw @nevergoingbacknowshine @idolatrybarbie @v4vayha @lalocitos @xdaddysprincessxx @deathsholywaterr @heareball @lyssramscal @wintrwinchestr @blackfemalenerd  @southernbe @starkeydaviss @noxturnalpascal @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog
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scooplery · 2 years
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brogle
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eljefeworld · 7 months
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Broccoli 🥦
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downinmalibu · 1 year
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rebouks · 1 year
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Previous | Next
Transcript:
Ivan: What’s wrong with a good ol’ fashioned burger or somethin’. Bruno: They’re not exactly healthy. Ivan: I know I sound like a brat, but I’m fuckin’ starvin’.
Bruno: Eat your food, brat. Ivan: [snorts] You eat it. Bruno: I’m not the one recovering from major surgery.
Ivan: I’d rather recover at-… Bruno: At? Ivan: I was gonna say home, but it ain’t like we’ve really got one.
[KNOCKING] Ivan: [quietly] The fuck? ?: Good aftern-.. ah, I didn’t expect to find you here Mr Clarke.
Bruno: Surprise. ?: I’d like to speak with Mr Harper alone, if that’s okay? Ivan: Uh-…
Bruno: Sure. Ivan: Who the hell-… Bruno: [whispers] Keep it short; you don’t know shit, you were just a bouncer-.. say you’ll be fine.
Ivan: I’ll be fine. Bruno: Alright, I’ll be outside. Ivan: ‘Kay.
?: You’re a hard man to find, Mr Harper.. no fixed abode? Ivan: Nope. ?: No? Your name is still on the tenancy of a very upscale apartment owned by Mr Flanagan.
Ivan: It shouldn’t be. ?: You weren’t aware? Ivan: No? Maybe he just wanted t’make it look like it wasn’t empty.
?: Why might that be? Ivan: [shrugs] ?: How’d you wind up here?
Ivan: I shot myself; chest holster-.. what’s your name? Eugene: You know, you’re the first person to ask me that. It’s Eugene. Ivan: The first outta who?
Eugene: Where did you meet Mr Clarke? Ivan: [sighs wearily] I dunno, it’s hard t’pinpoint the exact time n’ place. Eugene: Through work, I assume?
[MUFFLED CONVERSATION]
[DOOR CLOSES] Eugene: You didn’t go far… Bruno: He’s not well enough to be mithered.
Eugene: You’re very protective, aren’t you? I don’t bite. Bruno: He’s important to me. Eugene: Of course, I’m sure you’ve been through a lot; I’ll leave you be.
Bruno: I didn’t mean to be so brash, back at the garage.. it was still touch n’ go, I was worried. Eugene: Understandable. Take care, Mr Clarke-.. maybe get some sleep, it looks like you could use it. Bruno: Mmh.
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kuwuuji · 8 days
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broccoli drawings 🥦
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berliozussy-official · 6 months
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September, 1859. Académie des Beaux Arts.
“Is it as a composer or as a virtuoso that you presenting M.Liszt?”
“As everything.” he replied, “Does that satisfy you?”
Deeply moved by these words and your friendship 🥺🥺🥺
Btw… no offensive, but do you know, in this photo, your hair cut looks like a…broccoli?*run away as fast as I can* *leave a 🥦*
So sorry!*cry out loud*
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@franzliszt-official and I were indeed close friends!
And yes, my hair would look like a broccoli if only it wasn't ging... er? Where did they go?
*notices the 🥦 on the floor and picks it up*
uhm... what am I... supposed to do with this...?
*looks around carefully and licks the 🥦*
Mh... I don't like it.
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0011am · 4 months
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I have a bag of gummies (edībles) and I’m wondering if I should have one or two…. 🤔
Edit: I decided on two.
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why are we calling it brolie we could be calling it broccoli
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mister-astringent · 3 months
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Finny: *in the servant's corridors at 2am*
Finny: I have to go tell Mister Sebastian!
Finny: *wanders into the kitchen*
Finny: Oh hiiii Mister Sebastian!
Sebastian: *looks up from kneading dough*
Sebastian: What is it, Finnian?
Finny: I can't go to bed. I'm scared!
Sebastian: And what, pray tell, are you afraid of?
Finny: ... Scared 'bout broccolis.
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yourdaddyfigure · 8 months
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I want the 🥦 emoji.
Of course you would pick that of all things 😒 can I not add someone? 😂
I guess you can be “🥦” welcome to the emoji army. 🙄😂🙄
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jonesingforcrafts · 1 year
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I watched Voyager before tng and seeing how far Barclay came is cool and all but he literally said "I'm the guy in the corner of the party examining the houseplant" and ...
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is-izuku-okay · 8 months
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Day 3,322:
No ! Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)
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im-a-matt-girl · 9 months
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"B-r-o"
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