#& b.) the Actual Performance is when credit would have mattered

[thesinglesjukebox]

MEGAN THEE STALLION - "HISS"

We have now arrived at our last song of the month. We will not be covering any other songs this month. See you in March!

[7.73]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: As a lifelong Barb, it saddens me to see Nicki enter a paranoid, truly despicable frenzy. The only upside? We get songs like this.  [9]

Anna Suiter: Megan might have created a brand new season! [9]

Nortey Dowuona: Megan said one line and ended Nicki's career in one fell swoop, rendered Cardi B irrelevant for another year, and notched another hit. I expect you all to be at the next tour. And be there early! [10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: It's a category error to think of this as a diss track – it's more a supernova-level airing of grievances, as comprehensive of a litany of disdain as I've heard in rap. It loses something in listenability as it goes on -- Lil Ju & Bankroll's beat feeling a little like an endurance test as it grinds you down -- but maintains its fundamental appeal no matter how many times you loop it. Megan's charisma, both as an instrument of inward love and outward spite, shines true. [7]

Will Adams: It's not a tour de force, it's a tour de ferocious: Megan's near non-stop onslaught is a marvel to listen to, no matter the beat's plainness or the mid-point spoken word bit that trips up the momentum. [7]

Thomas Inskeep: Is any rapper right now better than Megan when she's on one? Based on "HISS," maybe not. Also, she doesn't get the credit she deserves for her little vocal tics, her "ah!"s and "ha!"s, which are nearly as good as Michael Jackson's. [7]

Ian Mathers: Delightful throughout, but I must admit I giggle like a small child every time I get to "when I'm in the gym I think about bitches that I'm shitting on." [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The energy is undeniable, but the moment when the beat drops and she talks only dampens the mood. Ultimately, this isn't a song I care for, but I appreciate that it makes me want to root for her. [5]

Katherine St. Asaph: The fury and virtuosity are both undeniable, even if I'm not really sure whether I like this or just support it. [7]

Leah Isobel: It is very satisfying to hear Megan in firebreather mode, especially since it's so well-deserved; she's gotten a raw fucking deal over the past couple of years, and if anyone has the right to let off some steam by shit-talking everyone else, it's her. She has the technical ability and linguistic smarts to back up her aggression, too. But as satisfying as it is to see her skill and subtlety send one of her adversaries into a week-long tailspin, there's also something a little disheartening about the spectacle. "Cobra" pushed at the edges of her art, trying to articulate her real struggles within the frame of her party-starter persona, and did an admirable job of inverting her usual performance of sexuality and strength into vulnerability and entrapment. By contrast, "HISS" feels boxed in, not just by the constraints of her public image but by the constraints that the perception of her public image places on her actual selfhood. When she raps, "Say he fucked Megan, and now he the topic / These n***** thinking they lowered the value / All this free promo, I'm turning a profit," the video shows her nude with her hands tied behind her back: her body, constricted, defenseless, and presumed to be available just because it is visible. That's the real anger that animates "HISS": anger that her humanity is not and will never be enough, because of what other people think about her body. But people don't want to hear that, so instead, we get beef. Yum. [7]

Taylor Alatorre: "Um. Miss... Thee Stallion, ma'am? I'm... not entirely sure if you have a full and accurate understanding of all the processes that factor into the monetization of social media clicks and page views, as well as certain other key elements of the modern attention economy. If you would like to register for my quick-and-easy 6-week course, you could soon be earning a-- oh. I see. My bad. I-- I'll just be going, then." [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#megan thee stallion #music #rap #hip-hop #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

[inkofamethyst]

May 13, 2023

Highkey stressed about my cell bio grade.  I mean, I know, grades don’t matter, grades don’t determine my worth, I’m already in my dream program, etc etc etc.  It’s jus that the grading scheme is so terribly opaque that I honestly have no idea what to expect from that class when grades are finalized.  I’ve learned a ton in cell bio this sem but disliked the way the class was run from the start.  Just really unsatisfying, uninspiring.  I mean I know that even if I got a B, it wouldn’t matter in a year, ultimately, but right now?? it would feel like I got ji-- oh my god, wait.  That word is based on a slur, isn’t it? and spelled with a “g-y-” and not a “j-i-”... I’ve never put that together before!  Well.  If I got a B after having a literal 99% average across the three exams, I might end up on national news.  It’d be my villain origin story during my three-month summer villain arc.  I’d decry higher education.  I would never donate to this school ever.  Should I become famous, I’d sully this school’s name and place all of the credit to my success in my graduate school’s hands.

And speaking of grad school, somehow I’m going to have to cope with the fact that not only will I be unable to do-it-all in grad school, but I’ll probably have to do-even-less.  I simply will not be able to join all the clubs and things I’d like.  These past two years, I feel like I’ve settled into a good rhythm: performing arts org, service org, culture org.  I don’t even know if I’ll have time for just those three categories.  I’m excited about the move but certainly nervous about everything else.

Actually, the nerves have really begun setting in over just the last few days.  I’ve been feeling as though I’m not really cut out for this?  There’s the fear of “well what if I can’t make the cut?” and “what if I decide that it’s not for me?” and “do I actually deserve this?” because even though a PhD is not really a path I’m pursuing to make others proud, I feel as though a lot of my family’s pride is wrapped up in not only what I’m doing but where I’m going to do it.  There’s a fear of the unknown there, you know?  I cannot easily see what comes next.  I am not stepping out of my comfort zone.  I am leaping several yards away from my comfort zone.

I tell people that I’m excited because I am.  But I’m also a little scared.  I am afraid that I’m not ready.  I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that so many people seem to disagree with that.

Today I’m thankful that I managed to finish braiding my hair on time and that it looks really really nice.  Also lowkey thankful that we didn’t end up going out that very night because after finishing my hair I had a 36-hour headache from it which made me super cranky (but my parts are clean and my grip was superb).

Concerts tomorrow.  Honestly?  Excited, but ready for them to be over.

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: The Super Mario Bros. Movie

There is a reason why video game developers don't license out their product or games to film studios. If the early 90's taught us anything, they haven't gotten it right at all. Back in 1993, the most guiltiest pleasure of a film was released and it caused Nintendo to never trust the film industry to adapt their legendary catalog to screen. Super Mario Bros. was absolutely an abomination of a film that didn't even try to get the world or design of the beloved game correct. What my generation got was a comedic and yet dark dystopian creature feature that even the cast hated making. I still enjoy the ridiculous and fun charm despite its massive sins committed against the property. It sparked my crush for Samantha Mathis so that was always a plus. Nintendo has taken the chance again and trusted another film studio to try and respect the source material, but did it work? Absolutely! From the opening credits to the final shot of the film, this was 100 percent a Super Mario Bros. game come to life in everyway possible. The choice to do it animated was the only way to get it right and the filmmakers nailed it. From the vast amount of classic references, Easter eggs, recreations of the original game levels of Donkey Kong and Mario Kart, I was in heaven. The universe of Mario Bros. was on complete display and handled with such respect. There are some updated story elements that alter the original stories of the games, but it didn't actually matter in this instance because the amount of fun I was having with the breakneck pace of the film. I had my reservation about certain casting choices and I was pleasantly surprised by how well the cast pulled it off.

Chris Pratt takes the lead as Mario and I had my thoughts on the choice of a big name actor to play him. I wanted the voice actor that has voiced the character for 100 games and I was afraid that all I was gonna hear was Pratt. Well Chris absolutely blew my expectations out of the water and nailed the characters heart and optimistic spirit. Charlie Day was fantastic as his skiddish, faithful and sometimes hilariously tortured brother Liuigi. He seriously gets put through the ringer in this film and I sometimes felt sorry for him as he is sidelined for the majority of the film. His chemistry with Mario was truly a highlight when they were together and they had an amazing action scene together toward last portion of the film. The bathroom sequence was awesome as well with the dog.  The original voice of Mario, Charles Martinet, is in the film and I loved that he played the father of both Mario and Luigi. It was a wonderful touch for him to be the one that propels their story to earn the respect of their father. Anya Taylor-Joy was excellent as Princess Peach and I liked that they updated her character. Historically, she was the damsel in distress that Mario would always have to save and now she is more of a stronger person. It wasn't a politically overbearing choice that somehow made her the hero of the film. She was a great ally to Mario and you grow to love her by the end. Keegan-Michael Key was outstanding as Toad and nearly stole the film with all of the cute and heroic moments. He wasn't a bumbling character that was just there to sell toys and I loved that he was very creative and brave. Seth Rogen blew me away with his performance as Donkey Kong. He was as funny, arrogant and tough as Kong should be. He was so much fun to watch and the rivalry between him and Mario was so reminiscent of their original arcade game debut. Jack Black is always a delight and as King Bowser, he was hilarious and unexpectedly menacing in so many great ways. He is a villain with a big heart, but he will burn all that cross him. I loved his many musical numbers and a particular scene with a piano where he plays a well placed theme we all know to add tension. Kevin Michael Richardson was awesome as the sorcerer and right hand of Bowser, Kamek. Kevin has always been one of my favorite voice actors and I always enjoy hearing his talented and distinct voice in anything. He was awesome and great in his scenes with Bowser. Khary Payton was great as the Penguin King and even though his major scene was in the trailer, he still had more fun moments in the film to witness. Juliet Jelenic was adorable and hilariously dark humored as Lumalee. Every line that kid spoke was comedy gold and I loved every second of it.

The score was brilliant and recreated all the iconic music of the franchise in epic and creative forms. Brian Tyler truly created a masterpiece of a score that had me smiling from the ear to ear as the themes that Koji Kondo created came back to life in the right moments at the right time. The underground tube theme from the first game was used perfectly to build tension in one specific moment. Even though the film has a attention span of 2 year old, the story still held even if it was a bit basic. I wasn't looking for something Oscar worthy, but what we got was serviceable and you've seen it done before. Other than that, there's really nothing bad I can say about this delightful and fun family film that will be enjoyed by adults as well. If you're a hardcore fan of the Mario universe, then you will have your mind blown. For the casuals like me that grew up with it but never continued with the franchise after Mario 64, I still found myself having so much fun and smiling at all the recreations of classic levels and references to other Nintendo classics. Do stick around to the end of the film for an end credit that'll make you smile even harder. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!    

#the super mario bros movie #Chris Pratt #charlie day #anya taylor joy #keegan michael key #jack black #kevin michael richardson #khary payton #nintendo

[thestingerblog]

This Movie Is Based on a Twitter Thread. It's Not Very Good.

by Aero S.

Read on our site!

On April 30, 2022, I strong-armed my friend into watching the newest horror movie Indonesia has to offer – KKN di Desa Penari, which roughly translates to ‘Community Service in the Dancers’ Village’, on opening day. People were anticipating the movie so much that theaters had to allow advance sales, a privilege usually only huge blockbusters can afford. To give context as to why this is, the plot of the movie is allegedly based on a true story initially told by a user on Twitter. Whether this claim is true or not doesn’t matter, because that initial thread went viral on local Twitter circles, and the rights to the story were quickly sold.

To those outside of Indonesia or simply unaware of the story, the tale is about a group of college students who have to do a community service project in a rural area in order to get the credits to graduate. They decide on a village that both the Twitter thread and the film itself call B, to protect the actual location’s name. Upon arrival, a few of them notice some extremely odd things about the village, like the fact that there are no children around, and they even begin to have similar nightmares. Things continue to take a turn for the worse as people are possessed, threatened, and even kidnapped by a dancer who is revealed, after a few days of terrorizing the students, to be a jinn (an evil genie that asks you to do things for them instead of the other way around). Without giving too much away, the story’s details and the specific events that occur throughout the movie are, for a lack of a better word, absolutely insane. It makes sense that viewership for this movie is so high – I could imagine that those who had seen it immediately told their friends to watch it as well. As of writing this, KKN di Desa Penari is one of the best-performing Indonesian movies since the pandemic started, and it is not hard to understand why that is.

Despite all the anticipation and high viewership upon the movie’s release, many people, including myself, felt underwhelmed by it. I will admit, I had read the thread when it first came out, but paid no more attention to it and therefore forgot the whole story until my memory was jogged by the movie. While I did forget the contents of the thread itself, I did not forget the feelings of unease and discomfort that the thread brought me when I read it. Sadly, this feeling I so vividly remember was not replicated in the movie. One might argue that a more visual medium such as a movie should make things scarier, but the imagery and the overall aesthetic didn’t lend themselves to the horror themes. Yes, there are dark woods and snakes and old monuments, but those things are commonplace, which is fine if the movie was trying to make it scary in a way that’s fresh and exciting. However, it was ultimately hardly unsettling, especially for those who’ve spent time in rural areas. The atmosphere of the film was quite tense, but it’s nothing to write home about either. Aside from a few genuinely frightening scenes, the film was extremely lackluster in its tonal and aesthetical aspects.

Even with all its flaws and shortcomings, I would be lying if I said the movie didn’t have redeeming qualities. For one, the acting was solid. Everyone in that cast – Aghniny Haque (Ayu), Achmad Megantara (Bima), Adinda Thomas (Widya), Tissa Biani (Nur), Fajar Nugra (Wahyu), and Calvin Jeremy (Anton) – knocked it out of the park with their performances. They did their best with the material that they were given, and I imagine they could do even better with higher-quality scripts and production. No one was a weak link, which is rare for an ensemble cast, and everyone had their own strengths. Nugra, as Wahyu, was the de facto comedic relief for the movie, and he did an incredible job breaking the tension when it was needed and leaving it up to his castmates to build it back up. Everyone seemed to have a good rapport with each other, and regardless of whether that’s actually true offscreen, it made the movie more bearable to watch and experience.

On a less constructive note, it has to be pointed out that the women in this movie are absolutely stunning on top of being very talented. So many of the top reviews on the film logging app Letterboxd are people talking about how good the antagonist, Badawaruhi, looks. And I’m compelled to agree. Played by Aulia Sarah, Badawaruhi is intimidating and downright horrific at times, and her presence immediately shifted the atmosphere of the theater. Her motivation for terrorizing the group is clear, if a little bland, but she more than makes up for it with her dead-serious delivery and piercing gaze.

After sitting in the dark watching for two hours, the house lights came on and I walked out feeling disappointed that it wasn’t as good or spectacular as I thought it’d be, but ultimately not regretting the experience as a whole. That being said, I am a little mad that this movie has apparently become the highest-grossing Indonesian horror film of all time, even surpassing the universally beloved Pengabdi Setan (Satan’s Slaves) remake. The concept of deserving something is convoluted, and I can’t say that this movie deserves less money than others because that would discredit the energy and hard work that dozens of people put into it. I just hope that Indonesian, as well as international, audiences will be willing to give this same kind of enthusiasm to other exciting horror movies coming soon, such as Pengabdi Setan’s sequel coming in July, or Ivanna, set in the same universe as the Danur franchise. The future of horror is looking bright for Indonesia, and I hope that it stays that way.

#movies #movie review #indonesian film #horror #review #opinion #kkn di desa penari #film

[starship2011]

Ik it was a While Ago at this point, but literally imagine asking the tonys if you can perform a number from your rapidly underperforming musical in a last ditch effort to save it & they’re like “sorry, there’s just no time 😌✋” so then you show up to the tonys & have to watch James Corden perform a parody of one of the songs from your musical to be about how people are mean to him on Twitter, & you were not asked for permission to let them perform beforehand or credited for the song after. Like what can you even say.

#for this years tony awards James will preform a parody of good kid from tlt w/out credit #(also ik they credited it eventually on the yt upload but a.) that was after like a week of ppl bugging them #& b.) the Actual Performance is when credit would have mattered #anyways I wish the tony awards a very die #brie.txt

[sooblvr]

enhypen & decorating the christmas tree

pairing ot7 x gn!reader // genre fluff // warnings none // word count 1.0k

#HEESEUNG

calls a singular santa hat he had to wear for a performance christmas decoration

“since when are you so festive?” outwardly very reluctant to go and buy everything to set up a small christmas tree at their dorm, but he still wasn’t willing to let down the opportunity to spend time with you

it only took heeseung seeing all the racks filled with ornaments, ribbons, and other things for him to really get excited. pointing left and right, he was like a little kid in a toy store

“clear your schedule today, we’re putting it up as soon as we’re home”

took an unreasonable amount of pictures of your tree because of how cute it turned out, though of course he will take all the credit for choosing every decor item

—rest of the member under the cut !!

#JAY

rich boy here is used to going all out and is actually the one who calls for your help setting everything up at the dorm

you showed up expecting them to have some progress already done, but instead you saw seven boys trying to fit a huge pine tree inside a relatively small living room

“you didn't think to buy something less...extravagant” “jay insisted he could bring one from his house” “his house that has a bedroom twice the size of this place?!”

the universe must really love jay because it ended up fitting almost perfectly, which gave him the ability to go on a tangent about how the budget for the tree could be used for other things now

everyone brought some ornaments and other things to decorate it with, and although it wasn’t a very aesthetically pleasing tree, it captured the home-like feeling of having everyone contribute to it  

—

#JAKE

the entire month of december he had been making plans to start his christmas shopping and drive around neighborhoods with you to look at people’s christmas decorations

it wasn’t until the twenties of the month came about that he suggested you help put up a tree in the dorm after almost no one in enha showed much holiday spirit 

you drove him, sunoo and ni-ki to buy some ornaments and other things. on your trip, jake also suggested you bought some kits to make gingerbread houses, “buy some for yourselves, we’re not gonna play double date with you guys,” ni-ki teased 

you took advantage of everyone being out doing their last minute shopping a day before christmas eve to spend the day with him making gingerbread houses that were way too sweet for either of you to eat

“i used way too much frosting” “look, (y/n), i’m making a little walkway with the gummy bears”

—

#SUNGHOON

“have you guys put up your tree?” “our patio doesn’t have much space” “a christmas tree, hoon” “oh, no why would we?” 

this man would not go past the i'm-too-busy-to-have-a-holiday-spirit mindset, so you had to take matters into your own hands by taking him to your closest home decor store

somehow you convinced him to choose a small tree while you got some ornaments and ribbons for it, and by the time you got back to him he was all “look this one has lights!” “this one looks like it got snowed on!” “this one is so small and cute, look!” “(y/n), are you listening?” 

first thing you did as soon as you got home was decorating and putting everything up, eventually waking up everyone at the dorm with your laughs and banter

“i'm glad we got this one, the bigger one wasn’t as cute” “i told you this was fun but you never listen” “i could have been doing something more productive in this time” “but just looking at it gives you a serotonin boost” “shut up” “you know I'm right” “y’all hear sum?” “tell me i’m right, you grinch!”

—

#SUNOO

this boy is so excited for the holidays !! he’s already done with all his gift shopping, and it only hits him now that there’s no tree to cover these carefully wrapped presents !!

“(y/n) you need to come over right now we need to find a christmas tree”

you didn't know how he could’ve completely missed that there was no tree at the dorm, but went along anyway

a true perfectionist at heart, he needs the tree to look exactly how he had it pictured in his mind. it’s endearing at first, but at some point you start wondering why he doesn’t help out if he’s got such a great idea (/nm)

insists on putting the very last ornament at the top and won’t hesitate to take an excessive amount of pictures, posting them all with captions like “aren't i the best at decorating”

—

#JUNGWON

he’s not necessarily excited, but also doesn’t complain when you insist the dorm needs a christmas tree

“is this within our budget” “it’ll be a small tree, won, plus i’m bringing ornaments from my place to make it pretty”

slowly gets more excited the more you tell him what ribbons you like, the color scheme you’re planning. he’ll start chiming in when you’re indecisive

I definitely see him as the type to not really care for the aesthetics of it as long as you both like it. the other members will poke fun at the contrasting colors and patterns, but he really loves the festive-ness of it

give him the slightest compliment about how he has good taste or had a good idea and he’s a blushing mess. he’s definitely gonna remember it and replay the moment over and over for comfort

—

#NI-KI

mans couldn’t care less about the christmas tree itself but if it means spending the entire day together count him in

(y/n) this, (y/n) that, it’s like he’s bouncing off the walls always wanting to show you something

when you first get your shopping cart he’ll look at you with a grin and ask if you wanna get inside so he can push you around

definitely asks you to do the same for him, resulting in all the old people with their grandkids giving you dirty looks

boasts about how he’s got great taste and your tree would look so ugly if it wasn’t for his amazing decoration skills. you only let him get away with it because he’s cute tbh

—

ᝰ — taglist; @gyuuss​ @junityy​ @taejinxkoya​ @myluv-yeonjun​ @mykalon​  @heelariously​

#kpc.creators #enhypenwriters #enhypen scenarios #enhypen headcanons #enhypen x reader #enhypen #enhypen reactions #lee heeseung #heeseung headcanons #enhypen jay #park jongseong #jake sim #enhypen jake #park sunghoon #sunghoon enhypen #sunghoon headcannons #enhypen sunoo #sunoo scenarios #yang jungwon #enhypen jungwon #nishimura riki #enhypen ni ki #enhypen drabbles #enhypen timestamps

[blu-joons]

DATING STRAY KIDS A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Minho

A ⇴ AFFECTION

After a long day, Minho can be very affectionate with you. He tends to keep his affection private when no one else is looking just so the two of you can enjoy each other’s company. If you need affection, he’ll be more than willing to give it to you.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

The boys could tell he was into you straight away as he became incredibly shy. He was never the loudest in the room when it came to his members, but when his eyes fell on you for the first time at the studio, he was desperately trying to come up with a way that he could head over and approach you, without the members getting involved.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

The only person he spoke to before confessing to you was Chan, as he knew he’d be the most supportive. He relied on his smile more than anything else to try and impress you, he wanted everything to go perfectly. When he approached you, you could tell straight away how shy he was, happily listening to him ask you out on a date before accepting. His cheeks turned a light shade of red as soon as you accepted, looking around for Chan.

D ⇴ DATES

He was surprisingly meticulous when it came to your dates, something no one ever expected from him. When it came to his relationship, he wanted everything to be perfect, because nothing mattered more. He tended to choose active dates for the two of you, but when it came to a special date in your relationship, he’d make sure to take you to a nice dinner or plan a romantic evening for the two of you. Most nights he just liked to settle down with you in front of a film or something just so he could be around you.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

He’d never been in a relationship before he met you, he was far too shy to ever really be able to approach a girl. He definitely was cheeky, but around you especially he lost all of that behaviour with his blushed cheeks. Having focussed for so many years on his dance and Stray Kids, he struggled to begin with when it came to adapting to a relationship, but with your help he soon found the perfect way to make sure both parts of his life were fulfilled without a single problem.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

It takes a lot to wind Minho up to a point where a fight occurs, he’s surprisingly sensitive and hates to know he’s upset you. He might give off the impression that he can be quite cold, but don’t be deceived, his delicate heart hates confrontation. He’s been through enough upset in his life to let little things get to him, more so with you. If the two of you do argue, he never lets it escalate too far, he’ll sit down like an adult and talk with you rather than raise his voice, he’s a lot more logical than he’s given credit for.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Being an only child, you knew his parents were bound to be protective of him which added the pressure onto your shoulders. Luckily for you, they were very trusting in Minho’s judgement, and if he liked you enough to introduce you to his family, then they’d like you too, so long as he was happy, so were they.

H ⇴ HOME

Most of the time the two of you tended to do your own thing at the dorm, but that didn’t stop him wanting to think about your own place too. He missed the privacy of having somewhere just for the two of you as he knew what his members were like, walking in uninvited most of the time, which he didn’t think was fair.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

He was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ one night after the two of you had settled in front of a film. The room was silent, and the two of you were laid side by side as he leant forwards and whispered into your ear. As soon as he’d said his cheeks turned a dark shade of red, hiding himself away from you. You couldn’t help but smile at how coy he was, wrapping your arms tightly around him.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Minho was one of the quieter characters in the room most of the time, especially around members like Han, so he tended to not have your full attention. He hated to describe himself as jealous, but he didn’t like when your attention wasn’t fully on him. It was one of the other reasons why he tended to prefer that the two of you did your own thing at the dorm. As much as he liked to see how well you got on with those who were close to him, he knew there was a boundary that his feelings would push to, and he hated to see you pass it.

K ⇴ KIDS

The both of you were very aware that children were a long way off for you both, but that didn’t stop the two of you beginning to think about the future. For the first time his focus wasn’t entirely on the group, now he had someone else to take into consideration. He’d always had hopes about having a family in the future, but for the first time he really felt like he’d found someone he could share those aspirations with.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

His cheekiness and sarcasm always brought a smile to your face, his off the cusp remarks always took you by surprise in the best possible way. He’d spend most of his day making sure that you had a smile on your face, and if you didn’t, he wouldn’t stop cracking jokes until you did. You loved sitting back and watching him wind his members up, especially Seungmin, which would only encourage him to do it more, at the expense of everyone else. Nothing could brighten up his day more than the sound of your laughter.

M ⇴ MISSING

Whilst he wasn’t entirely dependent on you, he definitely hated times when he was away from you. Tour was always the hardest part of your relationship, he’d never really had that person that he yearned for before when he was away, until he met you. The boys would often rally around him whenever he went quiet as they knew he was beginning to think about you. He’d rely a lot on talking to you every night to get him through the time away from you, but no matter how hard you both tried it was never the same as actually being able to see you.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

He’s very private again with your nicknames as he is with your affection, Minho never really settled on anything for you, it varies always, ‘love,’ ‘jagi,’ ‘sweet,’ you can never predict what nickname he’s going to choose for you.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Minho is obsessed with your smile, it’s his favourite part about you. He’s main job as a boyfriend is to make you happy in life, so if he succeeds there, then he knows he’s doing a good job. It’s all he wants from the world.

P ⇴ PDA

Again, he’s very private around people who know him, the most you’ll get out of him is maybe a quick hug or a hold of his hand. You knew PDA was something that he was uncertain about, so even just the smallest of gestures from him meant a lot to you, never would you pressure him into doing anything he didn’t want to do.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

You can always rely on Minho to ask if you’re alright. He’s very attentive and caring, whenever he meets your gaze or sees you for the first time in a while he’ll be sure to check up on your mood.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACT

When he had time to himself, Minho loved to dance, and when he did have those moments, he loved to come up for little routines to perform for you. No one else would ever get to see them they’d only be for you. He’d come home with a huge smile on his face and show you the little routines you’d come up with. You loved to watch him dance, so you’d never complain, especially when it was dedicated to you.

S ⇴ SEX

He’ll always do his best to look after you during intimate moments, he’s very careful and caring during every moment. He’s not the most dominate person, so the two of you tend to switch roles quite frequently depending on your moods. He’s very affectionate during those private moments, making up for all the times he often feels like he neglects you in public.

T ⇴ TEXTS

You can usually expect texts from Minho at random parts of the day, he’ll always want to just check up on you and see how your day is going. Or if he’s going to be late, he’ll always be sure to let you know with a text.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

He was well known for being quite private a lot of things, but never around you. He’d never been open with anyone like he was with you, he knew he could talk to you about everything and anything and you’d always be there for him.

V ⇴ VACATION

The two of you going on holiday was a very rare occasion, but when you did, Minho would work hard to make it a special occasion. He’d pull out all of the stops to make sure that the two of you could relax and just enjoy being around each other. His favourite holidays were the ones where the two of you did absolutely nothing, and just relaxed.

W ⇴ WHINING

If he didn’t get his own way, he would be more than happy to let you know that he wasn’t impressed until you gave him what he wanted.

X ⇴ XXXXX

He was always very loving with the kisses he gave you, each one always meant something, he’d never kiss you without reason. First in the morning he’d always greet you with a kiss, and whenever the two of you got a few moments to yourself he’d do exactly the same. He’d always hold you close when he kisses you, he likes for there to be little distance between you both so that he can have you tucked into his chest where you belong.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his favourite person in the whole wide world, no one else even came close.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

Minho tended to fall asleep with you close to him, pulling you tightly into his chest. He much preferred to be the bigger spoon, but if he’d had a bad day or craved some attention, he’d be known to curl into your side too.

---

Masterlist

#stray kids #stray kids imagine #lee know #lee know imagine #minho #minho imagine #stray kids reaction #stray kids scenario #stray kids headcanon #lee minho #lee minho imagine #stray kids drabble #stray kids one shot #stray kids fluff #lee know drabble #lee know headcanon #lee know scenario #minho scenario #skz #skz imagine #stray kids lee know #kpop #kpop imagine

[novamirmirsblog]

Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo

YOU GUYS JUST SEND IN SUCH CUTE PROMPTS AND IT STOPS ME FROM WRITING ANGST BECAUSE THEY'RE SO DAMN LOVELY.

Enjoy! @avengers-wholesome Hopefully this is what you wanted! Also this was super fun to write so thank you so much for the request :3

Tag list: @d14n4ol

request: yes

Genre: Fluff 🙄 (Kidding - NATASHA DESERVES HAPPINESS)

word count: 707

Warnings: None

'Well in the spirit of graduation season this is the prompt: Peter (for extra credit) had to take theatre and is the understudy for Romeo in Romeo and Juliet. While at the Avengers Tower, he’s having a hard time memorizing the lines, and reader and Natasha and Tony witness it. So reader demonstrates how the balcony scene is done and tells Natasha to read the Juliet lines, while reader acts Romeo’s lines. The whole scene they become enamored and a spark is lit between them. Fast forward, The Avengers go to Peter’s high school graduation and are being that kind of family that is loud as hell when their kid gets called, especially Tony. Natasha and reader cheer and reader shouts “THATS OUR NEPHEW!” And as Natasha smiles, reader says “Hey, let’s face it: Tony is one second away from adopting him and Tony is like a brother to me, so that makes me his aunt. And because your my girlfriend, makes YOU his aunt!” (IM SO SORRY THIS GOT LONG!)'

YES. I mean let’s face it, Peter would totally do extra credit work. I feel like he would be the kind of student who’s super smart but because he’s all over the place, he never actually does very well.

- Peter often used the avengers as his own personal google. Tony would help with product design, Bruce would help with science, Natasha and Wanda with foreign languages and F.R.I.D.A.Y. with just about anything else

- You, however had a secret talent. Your parents had made you go to acting school when you were very young. There were only two people outside your parents who knew of your talent - Nat and Tony.

- Nat knew because, well, she's a spy and quote unquote 'it was vital she knew everything about you because you might have been a HYDRA spy.'

- Tony knew because he was the one who recruited you into the Avenger family once he saw one of your fight scenes when you were a part time stunt double.

- So when the two see Peter struggling with learning his lines for his extra credit work, their minds automatically go to you.

- 'Heyy Y/nnnnn"

- "What do you want Tony?"

- "Can't I just want to talk to you?"

- "No."

- "Y/n?"

-"Hey Natasha..."

- "Wait why does Natasha get a hey and I get a what?"

- "Because I like her more than you. She doesn't only come to me when she needs a favour."

- Natasha let Tony try to convince you to help Peter with his lines just for her own enjoyment. She then stepped in and you agreed.

- "Natasha come here, you can read Juliet's lines."

- You looked cute, your hair a little messy from trying to explain to Peter many times that it doesn't really matter if he understands what they're saying or not, he just has to read it.

- It's why Natasha took a little longer to reach you than it normally would have done, she was too busy watching you rather than actually listening.

- You start the scene "Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day..."

- "It was the lark, the herald of the morn, No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks..."

- You both get wayyy more into it than you should have. Luckily, Peter just thought it was really good acting.

- Luckily there was no kissing in the scene. It would have been too much for either of you to deal with. Also kissing in front of Peter just felt... wrong...

- Something was started when the two of you performed that scene.

- Even though Natasha is a total top, you were the one who asked her out. You had a feeling that if you didn't do it then there would be much more pining than there should be. Life is too short to live pining after someone.

- Your first date out as an official couple was actually to Peter's play.

-Well technically it was drinks that were after the dinner that was after the play.

- He did amazingly (as you knew he would - he had put so much effort into learning his lines)

- You did have a backup plan in case he didn't learn his lines in time though.

- Plan B was Wanda using her mind powers to send Peter the lines.

- "Y/n, I can here you thinking"

- "WANDA GET OUT OF MY HEAD" (You respectfully whisper shouted this and Wanda whisper shouted back)

- "ONLY WHEN YOU ADMIT THAT MY POWERS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT."

- You loved Wanda but her powers were confusing and you could only focus on things for short bursts of time.

- Act 5, scene 3 had just ended and you guys were definitely cheering the loudest.

- Thor was literally asked by security to leave.

- "THAT'S OUR NEPHEW!" You screamed in Natasha's face as you jumped up and down.

- She smiled - not smirked - but really smiled, you had made her soft.

- “Hey, let’s face it: Tony is one second away from adopting him and Tony is like a brother to me, so that makes me his aunt. And because your my girlfriend, makes YOU his aunt!”

- Peter bounds over to the two of you and wraps you both in a bone-crushing hug.

- Natasha looks at you over Peter's head "Yeah, we're his aunts."

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #black widow x female reader #black widow imagine #black widow x reader #black widow x you #black widow #yes i have a problem #spidey duo

[ragingpancake]

Performance Fleece (Ooh It's Fine)

AN: In which John is sick and a thief and Rodney doesn't actually mind. There’s not a lot that escapes Rodney’s notice. Okay, scratch that. There is often a lot that escapes Rodney’s notice, mostly just because he’s too busy saving their asses and generally just being brilliant, but. When it comes to John Sheppard, Rodney’s pretty sure he’s even got the man’s bathroom schedule memorized. It’s not weird, okay? They’re teammates! Buddies! Compadres! Plus, you know, there’s the little matter of the massive crush that Rodney’s been harboring since, oh, probably the moment that Sheppard plopped his un-initiated ass down in the control chair back on Earth and showed Rodney where they were in the solar system. Anyway. Off topic. They’ve gathered in the meeting room for their latest mission debriefing, the one that John had requested to postpone, after returning from M4-X465, or, the planet that never stops fucking raining. So anyway, they’ve gathered, all of them except John and frankly, Rodney finds it a little unfair that they have to sit through re-hashing everything from the latest mission, down to the time he whipped it out and peed on a tree, when Sheppard gets to skip out. And then (and this is where Rodney’s attentiveness to Sheppard’s usual habits come in handy), he realizes that John has never actually skipped debriefing, no matter how many times he’s threatened. “Where’s Sheppard?” He asks and he mentally gives himself a high five for how disinterested he sounds. “He’s not feeling well,” Elizabeth answers like that shouldn’t be concerning in some way, shape or form, because Sheppard doesn’t do sick and even when he does, it doesn’t keep him from handling his duties while suffering in manly silence.

“So he’s just not going to show up?” Elizabeth lowers the tablet and glances at Rodney with a raised eyebrow. “It was my call,” she says. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d really like to get started.” Rodney tunes her out after that. -- He spends the next forty five minutes catastrophizing the situation. He analyzes it, tries to figure out exactly what had been meant by “not feeling well”. Was this turning into a bug not feeling well? Harboring an alien consciousness again not feeling well? So many horrors, so little time. When that doesn’t work, he switches to hacking into the camera system and pulling up the one specifically in John’s quarters but that doesn’t get him anywhere either because at least that very moment, John is nowhere to be found. Huh. Elizabeth finally finishes up and while Ronon is usually the first one to the door, this time, Rodney beats him by a solid five seconds, shouting over his shoulder about some made up situation in the lab. Totally, completely disinterested. He also completely misses the look shared by the others in his haste. -- To his credit, he does actually go in the direction of the labs, but only because that’s the quickest way to John’s quarters. He also manages not to just barge into John’s room (thanks to the almost disastrous towel incident, but Rodney is resolutely not thinking about that in this moment, no sir, no way). Instead, he stops outside of the door and bangs on it, a little more insistently than usual. It takes a second longer than he would like and so, fearing that perhaps John had maybe slipped and fallen, perhaps brained himself on that stupid old guitar, he palms the door open and--. What the hell is that? For a second, he doesn’t even recognize it, because how long has it been since he’s last seen it? He blinks, checks to make sure he’s actually in the right room and then allows his gaze to resettle on that that god awful orange fleece, the one he’d sworn that he’d burn once he was off of that frozen rock. The one that is currently wrapped around a very miserable looking Lieutenant Colonel, who glances up at him with a look that almost dares Rodney to say something. “… id was cold.” “You’re a thief,” Rodney says in response and he steps further in the room, letting the door slide closed behind him. “Where did you even find that thing?” “I wend down to the lab for sob of dat tea you hoard from the maidlad a’d found it id your bottom drawer.” Huh. So that’s where he’d put it. “Well,” Rodney says charitably, “whatever helps, I guess.” “Thags, Rodney,” John says and when he sneezes, it’s the second most god awful thing Rodney’s ever heard, second only to John’s braying donkey laugh, and by ‘god awful’, clearly he means, you know, acceptable because it’s John fucking Sheppard and well… anyway. “I suppose I should leave you to it,” he says finally and he gestures a little dumbly to the door. “You know, leave you to your bed of germs and, and, and--.” “You dond have to go if you dond want to,” John says and Rodney really, reallyshould not stay because first of all, as he’d mentioned, germs and secondly… Well, Rodney’s a hard time finding a second point, mostly because he wantsto stay. “I suppose I could, for a bit,” Rodney says airily, “if only to make sure you don’t slip out of bed and die. Or at least to ensure that my fleece finds its way back to where it belongs when you’re done. Completelywashed and disinfected, of course. “Ob course,” John agrees, like maybe he’s just humoring Rodney at this point. “…I’m never getting that fleece back again, am I?” “Nod a chance, buddy.” Well, truthfully, Rodney supposes he doesn’t mind. After all, there are two positives here: a.) to be completely fair, the fleece looks better on Sheppard anyway and it’ll save him the trouble carrying out his self-made promise to burn it. And b.)… well, Rodney’s never seen Sheppard wear anyone else’s clothes. It gives him something to think on, at least. Perhaps… Well, perhaps this one sided crush is not quite so one sided

after all… Huh. Who woulda thought?

#fandom: sga #sga fic #stargate atlantis #sga #mcshep #pre-mcshep #rodney's orange fleece #rodney mckay #john sheppard

[kemetic-dreams]

Melvin Glover (born May 15, 1961), better known by his stage name Melle Mel (/ˈmɛli mɛl/) and Grandmaster Melle Mel, is an American hip hop recording artist who was the lead vocalist and songwriter of Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

Glover began performing in the late 1970s. He may have been the first rapper to call himself MC (master of ceremonies). Other Furious Five members included his brother The Kidd Creole (Nathaniel Glover), Scorpio (Eddie Morris), Rahiem (Guy Todd Williams) and Cowboy (Keith Wiggins). While a member of the group, Cowboy created the term hip-hop while teasing a friend who had just joined the US Army, by scat singing the words "hip/hop/hip/hop" in a way that mimicked the rhythmic cadence of marching soldiers.

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five began recording for Enjoy Records and released "Superrappin'" in 1979. They later moved on to Sugar Hill Records and were popular on the R&B charts with party songs like "Freedom" and "The Birthday Party". They released numerous singles, gaining a gold disc for "Freedom", and touring. In 1982 Melle Mel began to turn to more socially-aware subject matter, in particular the Reagan administration's economic (Reaganomics) and drug policies, and their effect on the black community.

A song "The Message" became an instant classic and one of the first glimmers of conscious hip-hop. Mel recorded a rap over session musician Duke Bootee's instrumental track "The Jungle". Some of Mel's lyrics on "The Message" were taken directly from "Superrappin'". Other than Melle Mel, no members of Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five actually appear on the record. Bootee also contributed vocals (Rahiem was to later lip sync Bootee's parts in the music video).

"The Message" went platinum in less than a month and would later be the first hip-hop record ever to be added to the United States National Archive of Historic Recordings and the first Hip Hop record inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame. Mel would also go on to write songs about struggling life in New York City ("New York, New York"), and making it through life in general ("Survival (The Message 2)"). Grandmaster Flash split from the group after contract disputes between Melle Mel and their promoter Sylvia Robinson in regard to royalties for "The Message". When Flash filed a lawsuit against Sugar Hill Records, the factions of The Furious Five parted.

Mel became known as Grandmaster Melle Mel and the leader of the Furious Five. The group went on to produce the anti-drug song "White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)". An unofficial music video starred up-and-coming actor Laurence Fishburne[3] and was directed by then-unknown film student Spike Lee). The record was falsely credited to "Grandmaster + Melle Mel" by Sugar Hill Records in order to fool the public into thinking Grandmaster Flash had participated on the record.

Mel gained greater fame and success after appearing in the movie Beat Street, with a song based on the movie's title. He performed a memorable rap on Chaka Khan's smash hit song "I Feel for You" which introduced hip hop to a wider and more mainstream R&B audience. Grandmaster Melle Mel & The Furious Five had further hits with "Step Off", "Pump Me Up", "King of the Streets", "Jesse", and "Vice", the latter being released on the soundtrack to the TV show Miami Vice. "Jesse" was a highly political song which urged people to vote for then presidential candidate Jesse Jackson.

In 1988, after an almost four-year layoff, Mel and Flash reunited and released the album On The Strength, but with up-and-coming new school artists such as Eric B. & Rakim, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Public Enemy, Boogie Down Productions, and Big Daddy Kane dominating the hip-hop market, the album failed miserably. Mel performed with The King Dream Chorus and Holiday Crew on "King Holiday" aimed at having Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday declared a national holiday. Mel also performed with Artists United Against Apartheid on the anti-apartheid song "Sun City" which was aimed at discouraging other artists from performing in South Africa until its government ended its policy of apartheid. Mel ended the decade by winning two Grammy Awards for his work on Quincy Jones' Back On The Block and Q – The Autobiography of Quincy Jones albums.

In 1995 Duran Duran did a cover version of "White Lines" featuring performances from Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel and released it as the second single from the Duran Duran covers album Thank You':.

In 1996, Mel contributed vocals to the US edition of Cher's hit "One By One". Their version is only available on the maxi CD format.

In 1997, Melle Mel signed to Straight Game Records and released Right Now, an album which features Scorpio (from the Furious Five) and Rondo. This album took more of a harder rap style. It barely sold at all in the US and the UK.

Mel and Ralph McDaniels a.k.a. Uncle Ralph

In 2001, under the name Die Hard, he released the song "On Lock" with Rondo on the soundtrack of the movie Blazin. Die Hard released an album of the same name in 2002 on 7PRecords.

On November 14, 2006, Mel collaborated with author Cricket Casey and released the children's book The Portal In The Park, which comes with a bonus CD of his rapped narration. It also features two songs, "World Family Tree" and "The Fountain of Truth", by a then unknown Lady Gaga performing with Mel. The book was re-released in 2010. Also in 2006, Melle Mel attended professional wrestling school. In 2007 (at age 45), he stated in an interview with allhiphop.com that "I'm going to try to take some of John Cena's money and get with WWE and do my thing".

On January 30, 2007, Mel released his first ever solo album, Muscles. The first single and music video was "M3 – The New Message". On March 12, 2007, Melle Mel and The Furious Five (joined by DJ Grandmaster Flash) became the first rap group ever inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In his acceptance speech, Mel implored the recording industry members in attendance to do more to restore hip hop to the culture of music and art that it once was, rather than the culture of violence that it has become. He added, "I've never been shot, I've never been arrested, and I've been doing hip hop all my life. I can't change things all by myself. We need everybody's help, so let's do it and get this thing done."

On October 10, 2008, Mel appeared on Bronx-based culinary adventure show Bronx Flavor alongside host Baron Ambrosia. In the episode "Night at the Bodega", he appears as a spiritual mentor to sway the Baron from his over-indulgent ways and get him on the right path to success.

In April 2011, it was revealed that he would take part in a new hip hop/pro wrestling collaboration, the Urban Wrestling Federation. Its first bout "First Blood" was recorded in June 2011.

Mel also appeared in Ice-T's 2012 hip hop documentary Something from Nothing: The Art of Rap.

In August 2015, Mel appeared with Kool Moe Dee and Grandmaster Caz in Macklemore and Ryan Lewis's song and music video "Downtown".

In May 2016, Mel and Scorpio, performing as Grandmaster's Furious Five ft. Melle Mel & Scorpio, released their single "Some Kind of Sorry"

#melle mel #african #kemetic dreams #grandmaster furious five

[tcm]

The Makers and the Breakers: The Hollywood Studio System By Constance Cherise

From anecdotal tales to darker narratives of downright malevolence, movies about the Hollywood studio system are as prevalent as the subject is understandably intriguing. Films like A STAR IS BORN (‘54), THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL (‘52) and, just for a bit of naughty camp, DAISY CLOVER (‘65), to name a few, all allow a voyeuristic gaze behind an enchanted curtain. The major Hollywood studios controlled all aspects of filmmaking, distribution and the lives and appeal of their stars.

A studio executive’s expertise was to home in on the "It" factor of an actor. Then the build-up of publicity would begin. A well-engineered system of perfectly timed pulleys and cranks, bells and whistles would turn, and it didn't matter whether stories about a star were the truth, embellishment or lies, from the studios perspective stars weren't actual people, they were commodities that were bought, sold, traded and used as pawns to the benefit of the studio system. (A thorough reference on this is Jeanine Basinger’s The Star Machine) But, if anyone had ill feelings about their treatment, only those that were the most daring spoke up. The cliché “You'll never work in this town again” wasn't just a catchphrase, it was wholly and utterly true. Speaking up too loudly about one's gilded cage could end a career faster than Eleanor Powell’s “machine gun” tap dancing. As quickly as the mechanism could build a pretty face to stardom, it could just as easily grind to a halt, meticulously dismantling at record speed.

The true genius of the studio system was its innate and pristine ability to create a persona around the most capable assets that their commodity had to offer. An exceptional dancer with buck teeth? No problem. Send her to the dentist for cosmetic surgery. A heartthrob of a man who was too short? No problem. Elevate his shoes and make sure his counterpart wasn't wearing heels. A knockout beauty who could dance but was too ethnic-looking? Change her hair color from jet black to red, perform electrolysis on her hairline, add luscious waves, put her on a diet and change her name from Margarita Carmen Cansino to Columbia Picture’s own Rita Hayworth.

The system found what was innately undeniable, played up the strengths and buffed, polished or cleverly disguise the flaws, a process still happening in media. But the studio system of the Golden Age was far-reaching. Its governance traveled beyond its inner sanctum into affecting contractors' personal lives. A moral clause was a standard part of an actors’ contract. Both law enforcement and mobsters were part of the studio’s payroll, a necessary tactic thought to keep its stars in line and to protect the industry's overall reputation. If a star found themselves in a compromising position, there was always a hired hand, such as in the case of MGM's Eddie Mannix, to respond, repair and refute, regardless of the cost. Studios further exerted control by means of inclusivity. By creating an insular studio with every conceivable notion at their fingertips, including health facilities and a police force (as was present at MGM), the studio system was privy to inside information by way of design and therefore able to thwart potential problems sooner rather than later.

Opinions amongst stars who were part of the system varied. Some found it confining and artistically stifling (United Artists was created as a direct result of the burgeoning studio system in 1919), while others enjoyed its protective embrace. Fred Astaire was not a particularly handsome man, but his virtuoso skill of dance was undeniable. By the time he made it to Tinseltown, he had already been a star on the stage and his elegant persona was well polished. Almost the same could be said for Gene Kelly, except that Kelly was quite handsome with his all-American chiseled features and athletic body. He too came to Hollywood bearing Broadway accolades. Anything else either star may have required was worth any level of contribution on the part of the studio. But most stars didn't come fully assembled.

Numerous classic musical fans are aware of actor and untrained dancer Debbie Reynolds’ account of bloodied feet while rehearsing “Good Morning'' for the film SINGING IN THE RAIN (‘52), a story she confirmed in a TCM interview with late host Robert Osborne. Reynolds would star in multiple roles where dance was required, and for someone who was not a professional, with training from expert choreographers, she fooled us all. Ava Gardner did not go looking for the fame that found her. She was discovered through a photo in a shop window. The daughter of sharecroppers, Gardner had no experience in acting to speak of, and in fact, had a free-spirited reputation of reluctance. She had to be trained out of her deep southern accent, but her naturally stunning features combined with her charm literally smoldered the camera.

For all the contract players who willingly or unwillingly accepted the exploitation of their assets, there were those few who refused to play by studio rules. One not to cower was Mae West, who solidified her autonomy by demanding and receiving one dollar more than the head of Paramount, Adolph Zuckor, as well as full script approval of her films. MGM’s Luise Rainer, after becoming the first woman to consecutively win two Academy Awards, turned her back on Hollywood due to its iron grip. "I did not like the superficial life that one is naturally forced at times to live,” Rainer stated in a TCM interview. William Haines, one time voted as America's top male star, refused to hide his homosexuality living an open life with his lover, defying the orders of traditional marriage by Louis B. Mayer and as a result was fired from MGM.

That's what the studio system did: take an inarguable asset, create an inflated persona around it, smooth the dents, add a little extra padding where necessary and package it to be received exactly how they envisioned for public consumption...or...destroy it. After all, with over 70% of Americans attending film theaters at least once a week, the public turned the film industry into a multi-million-dollar business during its Golden Age when the average price of a ticket was 25 cents. Studios were readily aware they held the power and used it skillfully to full advantage.

The studio systems tactics could easily be viewed as a calculated sleight of hand, however, it unequivocally delivered, and its final product was polished, pristine and precise. But for those that were plucked from obscurity, was it truly a sleight of hand? One could argue that you can't get blood from a stone, and if that statement is true, the studio’s techniques of engineered transformation couldn't possibly invoke aptitude that didn't already exist somewhere within, however miniscule. Perhaps, instead of the credit studio’s retained for creating stars, its genuine function was to awaken exceptional latent potential that was simply waiting to be discovered.

#Old Hollywood #Hollywood studios #Golden Age Hollywood #star system #MGM #Columbia #Mae West #Rita Hayworth #Fred Astaire #TCM #Turner Classic Movies #paramount pictures #Constance Cherise

[ilovejevsjeans]

‘I’M BACK AT SCHOOL’ – INSIDE RICCIARDO’S MCLAREN REPROGRAMMING

Daniel Ricciardo’s going to humbling lengths in a bid to overcome his tricky start to life with McLaren.

Though Ricciardo has a 100% point-scoring record with his new team and finally beat team-mate Lando Norris in a race for the first time in the Spanish Grand Prix, his tricky switch from Renault is one of the main sub-plots of the season so far.

Daniel Ricciardo’s going to humbling lengths in a bid to overcome his tricky start to life with McLaren.

Though Ricciardo has a 100% point-scoring record with his new team and finally beat team-mate Lando Norris in a race for the first time in the Spanish Grand Prix, his tricky switch from Renault is one of the main sub-plots of the season so far.

Ricciardo’s struggled to handle certain limitations of the MCL35M as well as Norris, who’s established himself as one of this year’s early stars.

But there’s light at the end of the tunnel thanks to progress the team is making with the car and a painstaking process Ricciardo is going through as a driver as well – one he says leaves him feeling like he’s “back at school”, trying to re-programme himself to learn how to drive the 2021 McLaren.

We knew after the first three races that Ricciardo had been trying to adapt his driving style because he was finding McLaren’s F1 car “a little unique”. Both he and Norris have said the MCL35M can have a slightly loose rear end, particularly at higher speeds.

Ricciardo struggled with that more, describing his car as on a knife-edge at corner entry.

A big part of that problem may be the changes to the tyres and the reduction in rear aerodynamic performance caused by the new floor rules, which have combined to take away enough rear grip to make the car more nervous – especially at high-speed, which is all about commitment.

But at lower-speed, McLaren reckons those changes have also impacted the characteristics of its car under braking as well.

It seems that Ricciardo prefers to ride the brake further into the corner but can’t do that in this year’s McLaren without generating understeer, so he’s slightly slower through the corner than Norris and out of it as well. He’s been waiting for updates to tune the car more to his liking and address that permanently, while trying to learn how to drive around his limitation in the meantime.

The Portuguese GP weekend, where he was a shock Q1 elimination, was made more complicated by Algarve’s low-grip surface and difficult wind conditions. But Ricciardo’s rise from 16th to ninth in the race there left him hopeful he could make progress without waiting for upgrades, as he was happy with the peak of his pace and felt potential set-up tweaks, mainly to the suspension, could bring the car more to his liking.

Then he earmarked the Spanish GP weekend as one without “excuses” given how well everybody knows the track and the fact it’s a grippier, higher-downforce circuit. So Barcelona became a significant reference point in his bid to adapt.

The tweaked front wing that arrived in Spain might be the first example of Ricciardo’s preferences driving McLaren’s development. Lifting up the outer section of the front wing mainplane will reduce the airflow separation in that area, produce more load when that part of the wing is close to the ground, and reduce the understeer.

Ricciardo certainly seemed happier with the feel of the car over the Barcelona weekend. But the effort to address his issues went well beyond changes to his machinery.

We followed Ricciardo onboard for every lap of practice and qualifying in Spain and he was getting consistent messages about trying to shift more brake pressure to corner entry.

In FP1 there was a particular focus on his braking technique, as he was initially riding the brake too far into Turn 5 and at risk of inducing understeer.

Some in-car changes related to differential settings were used to help mitigate that but Ricciardo was also urged to try feeding in steering lock slightly earlier and apply more initial brake pressure at Turn 4 and Turn 12 – two medium-speed right-handers.

That continued in FP2, where the feedback was again to get on the brake harder before releasing it, and relayed to him as trying to create “more of a stabby brake profile”: a sharper initial application of the brake and a quicker release.

The extensive advice he was being given on braking would suggest that Ricciardo is still in a phase of consciously trying to adjust that technique at lower-speed. We put that to Ricciardo after qualifying, and he agreed.

“It’s like being a beginner, all over again,” he admitted. “Tutored every corner: ‘Good job, do that better. OK, improve a bit more here.’

“I’m still having to be a little bit conscious about that, and teach myself enough that it does become natural.

“It still does require a bit of [conscious thinking] in some moments.

“I’m trying to programme myself to basically learn how to drive it faster. So I’m back at school.”

The more confidence Ricciardo feels in the car, the more he expects faster corners to take care of themselves, describing those as requiring technique but effectively rewarding a driver who can just throw it and hold on.

But slower corners are where the big chunks of laptime are, because a driver is in those corners for longer.

The braking phase is a delicate and precise process, the pedal feel and braking traits of the Mercedes-powered McLaren will be different to the Renaults Ricciardo drove the last two years and the Red Bulls before that, and it also happens to be an area the McLaren is still sensitive in at the moment.

That’s not an easy combination to manage, which is why Ricciardo’s still working so hard to get on top of it.

He’s admitted he’s found it difficult to be patient in his bid to improve, but that’s his reality with just one-and-a-half days in the car in pre-season putting the emphasis on learning during these early race weekends.

To his credit, Ricciardo has approached the situation with exactly the right attitude. He has shown tremendous humility in doing so. Ego could easily get in the way. As an F1 driver it could feel embarrassing, or he could turn his nose up and say ‘no, I know what I’m doing, I’m not the problem here’ – but there’s no sign of that.

“I’m very happy with how it went in terms of the integration of Daniel into our team,” says team principal Andreas Seidl.

“It’s not a surprise how it went, we all know the personality Daniel is, which character he is, so I wouldn’t say it’s a surprise how he approached these first races.

“We knew that it is a challenge with this limited testing time to get used to the car, to become one with the car. I will say we are not where we want to be, where Daniel wants to be.

“But I’m 100% convinced it’s just a matter of doing more races with us and we will see the performances we are all used to.”

Key adds: “It is just a process of adapting your feeling and what you want to do, to what the car is actually doing.

“Of course from our side we’re trying to adapt the car and facilitate what Daniel’s trying to do. We’re getting there slowly, there’s certain things we can’t change, tyres and other things will be the same, but in terms of the way the car behaves, the mapping of the engine, the feeling of the pedal are all things that are in our control.

“We are chipping away at all those things to try to find a solution which works.”

Ricciardo’s getting his head down and doing the work that he needs to do as part of that. That was shown with constant progress through practice at the Spanish GP, and he did a good job in qualifying. He was perhaps a bit lucky to outqualify Norris given his team-mate’s compromised session but the performance was very close before that.

And then Ricciardo drove an outstanding race. He grabbed a couple of positions early on and he just did a really solid job thereafter, never looked like slipping down the top 10, quite enjoyed pushing the car to the limits. It was his best drive of the season and matched his best result so far in sixth.

In fairness to Ricciardo’s performances pre-Spain, despite lacking a bit of outright pace relative to Norris so far his race drives have been very good.

It’s a shame for him that on the weekend he hooked it up better, McLaren wasn’t quick enough to give him the kind of emphatic Class B victory that Norris enjoyed in the first three races.

But it can be viewed as a clear indicator of progress, and an important step in Ricciardo re-establishing himself as the force we’ve come to expect. (X)

#daniel ricciardo #dan #articles #i cut out some of teh boring technical talk

[nettlestonenell]

Enola Holmes in Review

Gentle Readers:

1.       I did not plan to watch Enola Holmes

2.       I do not/have not watched Stranger Things, and my entire concept of Millie Bobby Brown as a human is encapsulated in the occasional errant tumblr post, and a line of eyewear she apparently has created, posters for which hang at my glasses-provider.

3.       I had never heard of the YA novels about Enola Holmes

There she is!

Yes, I do tend to enjoy nearly any incarnation of Sherlock Holmes. And, yes, I am often surprised by this fact. For some reason, Holmes, unlike, say, Chris Evans as Cap or Chris Hemsworth as Thor [instances where I can’t really imagine enjoying anyone else in the role] I am always interested to see someone else’s [writer and actor and director]’s take on him. *Subtle shout-out to James D’Arcy’s 2002 turn in A Case of Evil.

Mr. Jarvis! [and there was Vincent D’Onofrio and opium!!]

And yet, watching the Enola Holmes trailer [no doubt b/c of tumblr], and yes, admittedly not unmoved [we are not made of stone] by Cavill’s Curls™ the delight I felt in watching that advert led me to start informing my family that on September 23rd what I was going to be doing was enjoying Enola Holmes on Netflix [and anyone else was free to join me].

Someone important is missing from this picture

And what a delight it was. In the run-up to its debut I read more than a few reviews of the film [and, I think, every one of them written by men], some of which struck me as simply coming from a place of mean-spiritedness, yet none—even the positive reviews—preparing me for how ENJOYABLE this film is.

I’m not going to provide a full review point-by-point here, b/c the film involves cases to be solved (no, none of them are overwhelmingly complex—YA novel--, so all the more reason not to spoil any pay-offs). But I do have some things to talk about.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM – And what a nice, nice elephant it is! Henry Cavill as Holmes is, in my opinion an absolute delight of a performance. From the moment he first says Enola’s name (a perfectly-rendered reaction to the moment playing out) this Holmes fits into this Greatest Showman-like version of Victorian England, where no one’s too dirty no matter how poor, and where despite a flaming red dress, cut too low for daytime wear, young Enola is never once mistaken for a working girl. [Again, YA novel] As other reviewers have noted, HC is, well, Cut and Bulked Out, and in his highly tailored frock coats well, strapping is too light a description word. *not a complaint. Cavill’s Curls are out and proud and here to tell us that we are meant to be Having Fun, and Gentle Readers—THEY DO NOT LIE.

No, not a priest’s collar where he is undercover (though I had thought so)

In fact, you could absolutely write your thesis statement on this film, that it’s really a fraternal, familial love story between Sherlock and Enola. Sherlock is the character during the two hours that actually changes. [Yes, Enola comes to an understanding about herself, and her circumstances change repeatedly—but it is Sherlock who experiences a Change of Heart/Reversal]. 

Raise your hand if you’re totally here for significantly older brother/significantly youngest sister family love!

HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE IT – This might in no way be helpful, but, Enola Holmes is basically The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles...

Where have you gone, Sean Patrick Flanery?

a YA historical storyline that’s written adjacent to [there, famous people] here, enduring fictional characters. It’s adventurous and pleasantly immersive, historical morays are given a slap-dash portrayal, rather than a fully-accurate representation, there’s adventures to be had, and side-characters to be converted into caring about the title character as much as we, the audience, do.

LUCY HONEYCHURCH – Yes, that gorgeous girl from Windy Corner. The timeline doesn’t jibe, but I daresay Helena Bonham Carter (back in a corset—though she may have worn those for Bellatrix) as Eudoria Holmes *IS* what Lucy Honeychurch might well have become beyond A Room with a View’s end. Bonham Carter looks absolutely at home here (period films have sorely missed her! –she had a part in 2015’s Suffragette), and still wears the trappings of Victorian England like a second skin. 

Not to mention that she now join my personal comfort-list of on-screen mothers with the likes of 1997’s Little Women Susan Sarandon and Cinderella’s Hayley Atwell.

FAMILY ISSUES OR PLOT HOLES? 

It’s a fair question. There’s a lot going on in this plot, some of which...seem solvable. Why has it been so very long since the Holmes brothers have seen their own mother? And sister? How could the woman we come to know as Eudoria raise a Mycroft? [see also, Molly Weasley?] Why aren’t people who seem to care about Enola more engaged with saving her from all the dangers London throws in her way? Why does Enola accept several acts of violence aimed at her, why does she in certain instances Do What She Is Told? Rather than chalk these up to plot holes or convenient devices, I’m siding with the Holmes family being dysfunctional [who knows what dad was like? We’re certainly not told here]. 

[clears throat]

The conversations between Mycroft and Sherlock barely skim the surface of any subject they interact on. Classic dysfunction: distancing one’s true self from human interaction b/c keeping the peace supersedes all else.

Enola accepts certain treatments b/c if we really do watch her relationship with her mother, there is an element of something amiss—as I will declare the later abandonment shows. Enola is a child used to being elevated and celebrated on one hand, and shut out and isolated on the other. Her parent has informed her about so much, but essentially locked her away in a false reality, where Enola is not taken to see the world, nor taught how to interact in it (which is explicitly stated). Perhaps it is not so surprising that the Holmes’ brothers have not cared overly much for visiting their remaining family. And when repeatedly confronted with a minor child (and yet a child likely though old enough or about so, to be married off) being forced to endure things diametrically opposed to her will—the brothers’ reactions are stoic, the system they accept as to how life must be lived immoveable and morally right simply by its very existence.

MILLIE BOBBY BROWN – THE STAR – In what has to be an Emmy-nomination-deserving turn, MBB is nothing short of wholly in charge of the screen. She never overpowers the story. She’s as loveable as Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, and as ready for her closeup as Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games. As another review mentioned, she handles the 4th wall breaks in such as way as we look forward to the next time she’s going to talk to us. We ache with her sorrow for her lost mom, and rage with her at the adults in her life choosing wrongly for her future—or simply not choosing at all.

A random observation, but one that feels important to me: her HAIR. Yes! They’ve managed to make a late Victorian-era film where the heroine’s hair looks like real hair that someone really styled (or in some scenes, didn’t). And yet, where the hair looks proper for the time. [wild applause]

COMPLAINTS: Well, in honesty there aren’t any. If you want to complain that there isn’t any dirt, that the evil of the world (I mean, c’mon, this is narrowly post-Dickensian London, here) is neutered, that the adults in question seem neither alarmed enough or emboldened enough at either their mother or sister being missing and possibly out of their depths in a dangerous society without protection, and in Enola’s case real-world skills--? Well, I’m certainly not going to disagree with you. This is YA Victorian London, after all, not Ripper Street. There is also neither a hint of or actual threat of sexual violence at any point in the film. But the lack of that has preserved us from having to sit through that, as well as no doubt lectures about how Enola’s virtue might be spoilt and she might become useful to no man.

The relationships are appropriate, too. Despite strides between Enola and certain adults in the film, by the time the credits roll they’re not showing physical affection toward each other (a move that would have seemed over-the-top), and teen relationships are shown progressing at a reasonable and mutedly awkward pace.

Now, Netflix, green-light me five more films (or more). There’s still a new version of John Watson to meet, after all!

#enola holmes #netflix enola holmes #millie bobby brown #henry cavill #helena bonham carter #SUCH A GOOD TIME! #universally well-liked!

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like “how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

#dairaw21 #playlist #i may have gotten a *little* carried away... #i regret nothing #dair

[cecilyneville]

the spanish princess: episode 8

“why are people watching this show if they don’t like it???”

me: 

(i mean hating on this show, not actually watching it - nothing about tsp is fun, the whole thing has been mean-spirited from beginning to end)

ruairi was good as prince henry, but as king henry? awful

“i would not come to help you” so how much more of coa being a cunt are we going to get? bc if this episode is called “peace” i assume she has to...idk...start being a bit nicer

god, fucking finally

if they want us to like catherine bc she’s finally paying attention to mary that isn’t “HMM SHE IS NOT A BOY”, they got another thing coming

catherine was horrible to everyone including her ladies and her daughter, but she’s slightly nicer now so it’s ok!!!!

“men of arran and men of hamilton” the writers have finally realised there are more families in scotland than stewart and douglas

WHY has albany kidnapped james? at first i thought it was a ruse b/w him and meg but apparently not. wouldn’t it make more sense for her to return to scotland to find that angus has kidnapped james?

it makes so much sense for ef to just ignore the fact that margaret douglas exists and keep prince alexander alive

ursula where you been all this time???

finally some semi-accurate headwear on maggie. but ONLY on maggie, not on ursula, bc if it’s anything the costuming on all three series have taught us, only old ladies cover their heads

also finally - laura carmichael is getting some decent material to work with! (relatively speaking)

bessie instructing henry fitzroy is very similar to her tudors counterpart doing the same, bc of course

comb ur fuckin hair dude

i’m not gonna lie, this latin standoff between mary & henry fitzroy is hilarious, like a 16th-century spelling bee

“there’s nothing i can give a girl” except, you know, sending her to ludlow as heirs to the throne were before her, but even that level of nuance is too confusing for fraham

“my brother is more sympathetic to her cause than he has been” this week: henry discovers the concept of divorce

“go to the king anne, smile and win his favour” yet another barely-concealed tudors ripoff

thomas more just like “maggie you’re fucked up bc your life has been so shit”

if henry is speaking about this script then he is 100% correct

oh rosa’s here! so not one but BOTH of catherine’s besties will ditch her, delicious

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THIS IS THE MOST OBVIOUS, CLUNKY WAY TO DO IT LMAO

oh they’re going for a becket/henry ii vibe here with wolsey & henry, don’t mind this

it bothers me SO much that they keep calling maggie henry’s aunt when they never bothered to include elizabeth’s actual sisters after they put cecily on a bus (which, to be fair, was probably for the best)

i kind of recoil when people say “[insert historical figure] would be so offended by this depiction” because if someone like catherine of aragon were shown any modern depiction of herself, her head would probably explode out of confusion and horror. BUT this is so offensive to the real catherine of aragon

i would like to see laura carmichael as elizabeth of york - it’s the big brown eyes

is she doing this out of hatred for her inability to give the king a son??? what does it all MEAN emma

i mean i guess he’s hotter than angus

i know this hunting scene is supposed to reflect something from part one which i didn’t watch, but it just reminds me of the tudors s1 finale when henry and anne fucked in the woods 

also reminds me very much of the great when peter tries to drown catherine

catherine quoting deuteronomy and unwittingly confessing to consummating her marriage with arthur...CONGRATULATIONS YOU PLAYED YOURSELF

soz to sound like a broken record but the fact that people - even some actual critics - watch CH’s performance and think this is actually good acting will never not be funny to me, she’s atrocious. it’s so jarring looking at behind the scenes footage and seeing her smiling, like couldn’t you actually do this on screen? she plays catherine like the woman’s never felt happiness in her life, or any other emotion for that matter

lina’s not gonna sell catherine out and i’m so mad about it, she has treated you like SHIT for YEARS

god, she can’t even cry believingly

HELL YES MEG, DISCO INFERNO

we won’t have time to see meg’s marriage to henry stewart fail spectacularly, which is probably a good thing bc my heart would break

catherine has been absolutely VILE to lina but it’s ok bc she’s said sorry now

“i would speak with you” / “it seems you already are” LOLLLL

so funny that it’s only NOW that they’re getting french hoods of some kind, but not with actual veils because, like i said, only old dowdy matrons don’t get to show their sexy hair

WHAAAAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

i mean, i’m not surprised, given how much fraham hate anne 

“so, you’re playing anne boleyn. congrats! but you’ll only get, like, one line, and you WILL have to get your tits out”

guys she’s so upset can’t you tell

CH got a taste for holding bows on game of thrones it’s the only thing she’s good at

STELLLAAAAAA

of course meg has to actually fire the cannons rather than just train them on angus and his men, but this is very fun

surprised they didn’t point out that one of scotland’s greatest cannons was called “mons meg”

fuck this nice scene between catherine and lina! she doesn’t deserve your forgiveness lina!!!

i guess catherine’s woke levels need to be maintained by keeping her one black friend who was a slave irl

hahahaha i fucking love her

“i will always be your wife, there is nothing you can do to change that” knock knock it’s the reformation

catherine choosing to leave makes no sense for this show or for the history they’re ~supposed~ to be depicting

“you will never take my place as queen of england” KNOCK KNOCK IT’S THE REFORMATION

catherine is an old lady now so we shall signify this by giving her a gable hood

catherine she just asked if the bird was dead jesus

which it should be by now...it’s been around since like 1510??

ah yes, let’s bring back that other metaphor, the imperialism compass 

if all the disgruntled tories had their way this would be on the end credits of every episode of the crown too

and that’s all folks! let’s all be thankful that this show didn’t submit us to an absolute butchery of catherine’s blackfriars speech

#the spanish princess #tbd #there are only two people speaking sense in this finale #and both of them are named margaret