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godsfavoritescientist · 9 months

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Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.

I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.

Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?

How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"

And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.

So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.

So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.

And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.

And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.

Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.

And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.

So you sail away in a boat together.

And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.

But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.

But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.

You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.

And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-

-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.

You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.

And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.

It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.

And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.

#succumbed to the stan twins angst visions and wrote 2000 words about this #ford pines #ford meta #this turned into a character analysis that almost reads like a fic #godswriting #<- i need to change my writing tag to this #something bothers me a little bit about the solution to their conflict being 'ford appreciates stan more now so he is now fine with-#-boat adventures with stan'. to me it leaves the initial conflict of 'he doesnt want to do that anymore' unresolved #obviously you could easily argue that ford never stopped wanting to go on boat adventures with stan and he just couldnt justify it to-#-himself when compared to the opportunity at west coast tech. but that has one less layer of conflict #compared to the possibility that he truly was not interested in boat adventures anymore. ESPECIALLY if its a manifestation of him #feeling suffocated by the whole dynamic-twins-duo thing #its normal to start wanting a little bit more space especially at that age. to want to have space to figure out who you are #the healthy thing would have been them talking about it and figuring out a compromise. like 'when ford needs space he can spend a few hours #-alone without stan being worried the whole time that it means ford hates him' and 'we still spend x amount of time working on the boat and #-we still chat on the way to and from school every day and hang out at the beach on weekends'#like of fucking course it was never about hating stan or about wanting to get away from him because of who he is as a person!#he literally just wanted to have a little bit of breathing room to be his own separate person. he just didn't know how to put it into words #I really think the crux of it all was them not knowing how to navigate that balance between independence and identity while staying close #so ford misattributing/reducing that feeling to 'I dont have the exact same dream as stan anymore. why does he still have that dream. oh no #feels like a good way of giving that conflict a tangible aspect to it thats easy for the stans to point at and talk about as a way of-#-alluding to the REAL core of the conflict between them.#and of course the show never says 'they sail around the world for the rest of their lives 24/7' so it's not like it Actually Conflicts with #-my interpretation of the conflict and how it should be resolved. but since its the last thing we see happen between them when theyre given #their happy ending. I feel compelled to say 'hey I know them living in the shack together and traveling in a boat every single year sounds-#-really fun and like a satisfying ending but I think they should have a Little Bit more space from eachother than that. Hanging out almost-#-daily but not literally being in the same house and same boat for the rest of their lives. bc if stan was ok with ford asking for that-#-little bit of space and if ford didnt panic and isolate himself from everyone whenever he needs like one hour of alone time? that would-#-feel like a big piece of the puzzle fitting into place for their conflict resolution and growth as characters. to me #and I think they deserve to have all the tied-up-loose-ends and resolved-conflicts and character-growth in the world.

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sunshine-zenith · 6 months

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The other night, for some incomprehensible reason, I dreamed Bakugou and Shigaraki’s moms started dating while their kids were little

I haven’t watched or read MHA in years and only occasionally browse the tags out of curiosity, but I get the vague impression that certain events from the last couple chapters would make this scenario a bit awkward

#katsuki bakugou #mitsuki bakugou #nao shimura #tomura shigaraki #tenko shimura #my hero acedamia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #femslash #crackship #I have no idea how this scenario would even work #iirc in the dream bakugou’s parents were amicably divorced and coparented pretty well. no idea where Shigaraki’s dad was #hopefully Nao divorced his ass and got her kid in a safe spot so when his quirk manifested it was Less Dramatic/Traumatic #also I had no idea what Shigaraki’s mom looked like and I think in the dream she was actually Nana but when I googled his actual mom I #lowkey fell in love with her admittedly simple design. she just looks Nice next to Mitsuki ya dig?#also pretend I didn’t accidentally make Hana the younger sibling I saw a bunch of theories that she was Momo and assumed she was like a baby #cy fanart #cy art

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wallboys · 1 year

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jon crazy girl moments

#he’s so good at emotional-rage-induced attempted murder #someone get this kid a stress ball and some old glassware to smash in a dumpster #jonposting #asoiaf #jon snow #but on serious meta mode: one of the reasons i love his flaming sword dream in adwd #cause at this point he is much more ‘subdued’ than he was just a year ago. but he still does have a lot of anger it’s just internalized #and being redirected towards a purpose now (anger at the other night’s watchman who don’t grasp how important it is to help the free folk)#but his sword dream is like… his uncontrollable impulsive rage from book 1 being directed at the people he’s lost and had to watch die #like a manifestion his intrusive thought of wishing benjen dead in the snow #‘i AM the lord of winterfell!’ he’s still angry he’s still emotional he’s still selfish #i need to write a whole thing about jon internalized vs externalized anger… cause i have Thoughts

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deus-ex-mona · 3 months

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worming out of awkward conversations l i k e

#accidentally partially traumadumped on my coworker earlier auaaaaaa im so sorry #literally all she asked was ‘are you gonna be spending cny with your father?’ and cue the rant (sadge)#i didn’t really have to tell her that the dude tried to burn our apartment down during a certain rampage #(said fire was extinguished by my then-11 year old bro with water from the sink though. good boi)#the topic was successfully changed after that yeayyyyyy #but. m a n n n n . cny is not a good time for me lmfaooooo #i swear i have at least one bad memory for all of the years that i’ve gone housevisiting for the season #like there was that time when i，as a kindergartner，was deemed to be the cause of breaking apart the family’s bonds #over a can of cola at a reunion dinner bc i cried when my evil aunt scolded me for daring to want a drink other than water #i think my father still blames me for that to this very day lmfaoooooo #g o d. manifesting my hopes and dreams for that prick to not contact me this year im begginggggg #he’s. like. the one person i hate more than myself. 3rd place on my hatelist is his father ofc. no clue who 4th place would be though…#hmmmmm ok i think that’s enough traumadumping for one cny season lmao #tune in next year as i once again wonder what tf the name of one of my cousins is #bc despite how bonkers that side of the family is… i’m sure that the dude’s parents weren’t deranged enough to name their son ‘colour’—#his name is seriously one of my greatest unsolved mysteries. i mean. he has siblings with names like dylan and vivian/valerie/vanessa(?)#and yet everyone calls him something that sounds like ‘colour’.#like damn did his parents decide to skip giving just one of their children a first name or something? guess i’ll never know

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oshiawaseni · 2 years

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The unbreakable bond between two disconnected ends

While I do think that Deku is incredibly heroic, I also subscribe to the idea he loses himself the most and goes hardest specifically when it comes to Kacchan, I can’t see him motivated to this extent and acting what appears to be without limit for any other character and between us and Horikoshi knowing this little fact, it makes Bkdk so endearing and easy to rally behind.

A part of me feels that Kacchan sees all of Deku’s actions for him only as his reckless heroism, and that Deku would be like this for anyone… and this might be why they haven’t come to truly understand one another yet. Like is it really such a big coincidence that with the exception of Katsuki Bakugou Rising, Kacchan and Deku have never shown each other their heart and how strongly they feel for one another? Whether it’s simply batting in their corner to others or this deep emotional connection they have causing them stress and worry about the other, tirelessly wanting to get Deku back to the point of sleeplessness, even breakdowns and Deku’s quirk awakenings over Kacchan.

Hence Izuku’s shock with the apology and not accepting being called Izuku by him right away. That was surely because he doesn’t understand the scope of which Kacchan has fiercely worried over him and how that worry is now coming from a love for Izuku that’s probably always been resting inside him.

But we all know that rather than plain and platonic heroism, that likewise, when it involves Kacchan, Deku’s own loud actions have been coming from a place in his heart occupied by this unchangeable pure love for him and also Deku’s complete inability to accept his own existence in the world without Kacchan somewhere within his reach. Think of “Give him back!” That was the stubborn side of Izuku that wouldn’t let Kacchan go to a place where he couldn’t see him, watch over him and confirm his existence that’s right in front of him. What incredible attachment he has always felt towards him, despite everything.

Izuku kept tabs on Kacchan to the point he knows when he last spoke to him. To Deku, it didn’t matter what Kacchan was doing, as long as he could ascertain his presence nearby and that he’s okay, even if they weren’t necessarily on friendly terms. And Kacchan very much felt the same thing about Deku. “Watch me, Deku.” Watch how strong and cool of a hero I am, watch my back with those big eyes of yours and praise me like you always do. But when he realised Izuku was no longer in his reach, Kacchan fought in earnest for a chance to get him back again, to not just trailing behind him but by his side. Which is why their distance being removed and them communicating like best friends again is such a big deal and would absolutely mean the world to both of them.

I’ve always had a vague sense that Kacchan had been running away from Deku. Which side of Deku had Kacchan been running away from all this time? Heroism? Love? Both? Because Deku’s heart scared him. He didn’t just envy it or feel inferior to it - he also feared it. To me, Kacchan rejecting Deku’s kindness feels like someone saying no to a warm hug from somebody they care about on a freezing winter’s day. It made no sense. He pushes affection away so much to the point that he’s virtually touch starved now. So why did he really do it? It’s one of Decchan’s mysteries that I wish was explained fully.

And on the other side of things, Deku’s actions towards Kacchan felt more and more nonsensical as the story unfolded. There’s this confounding enigma that despite Kacchan treating Deku awfully for years, Deku has consistently always jumped very strongly to Kacchan’s defense - which makes you wonder what it is about them that allowed Deku to carry his four year old self’s pure and positive feelings towards Kacchan for so long. (This is why middle schooler bkdk is top tier dj for me, they often come up with their own answer to fill the gaping hole of missing context in this complicated bkdk puzzle.) And while I can’t consolidate in my head the truth to the mystery of their past that became such a complicated relationship in its current state (at least not a truth that belongs in a shounen… unless..? haha), I do know that Kacchan is now acutely aware of the fact this entire time he has been loved, not looked down on, by Deku and realised when Deku almost died that he also possesses feelings of love and attachment towards Deku too.

This revelation honestly affected him in a big way. It broke Kacchan’s hardened walls down piece by piece over time, until there was quite literally nothing left but his own exposed heart that he plainly laid out for Izuku.

The shot of the wound from his sacrifice that reopened - bleeding, vulnerable. A beautiful metaphor for his exposed heart and truth that he openly gives to Izuku for the first time in front of everybody. Because he realised Izuku is more important to him than his guilt and his shame and his pride.

And because they are such an iconic and invincible duo who above anything else, want to take care of each other, this does have me hoping Izuku will take his vulnerable heart and treat it gently at the end of everything, shounen or not.

But as of now, we’re at an emotional stand-still from Izuku’s side.

Kacchan’s words aged very well, past hundreds of chapters because despite being the protag of the story, we are always left wondering how Deku really feels. Kacchan’s frustration at Deku and characterisation of him here is so accurate lately 😅

I get the sense that all of this ambiguity they feel from the other has been written there for a reason and will have a meaningful climax where they will come to understand each other in the coming fight. Horikoshi places purpose behind all of the dialogue he writes - so with the dialogue between Deku and Toga in mind, when it comes to Izuku and Kacchan’s history and both not being fully aware of how much they care for one another, I think in the near future, they will acknowledge the inspiration and strength they’ve found in each other. “Don’t you also want to share the same heart?” Kacchan has been doing this with Izuku ever since DvK2 and we all know Izuku draws his own powers from Kacchan since the very beginning because he sees Kacchan not only as his personal hero, but as the embodiment of strength and confidence and overcoming one’s hardships. He watched him for years win against his biggest one of all: himself.

Because it’s not only All Might he’s been wanting to become more like, but someone else even closer to him. Someone who, without fail, has always motivated him to go beyond, above himself and even all logic and reason. And that someone has always been Kacchan. Ever since they were little. So now I am hoping they come to understand what’s inside each other’s hearts (especially Deku’s which is always shrouded in mystery.)

They understand each other’s strategies perfectly, and yet Izuku and Kacchan have always had this big gap whenever it came to knowing their true feelings. So as an answer to their disconnect over the years, an answer to their relationship which contains a mysterious and profoundly deep bond that leaves us wishing their gap to close even more, it makes sense that a moment will come to pass where they’ll really see and understand each other for the first time, without all of this evasiveness we’ve gotten used to.

#bakudeku #kana writes #bnha meta #op #Kacchan needs an answer to put his heart at ease we are missing Deku’s true feelings as always #as fanficy as it sounds thats whats happened and needs to happen to placate this #gaping hole in their relationship that you can see Kacchan wants to be filled with Izuku #the person Deku has taken the most inspiration from is probably Kacchan so it’s quite funny he only mentions all might #when Kacchan’s bright hopeful eyes gave him hope and dreams too #horikoshi you are going to have to address this sooner or later sir 😅#long post #(again sorry) XD'#also how this manifests is uncertain but maybe it has something to do with AFO/OFA #i like the idea of a metaphysical connection #because these guys are so bad at communicating to each other their feelings lol #something that will force them to communicate would be nice #im excited for 2 things: 2nd's power and bkdk getting closer lol #🙏❤️ it’s a very sad time on social media lately so I’m sending my prayers

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eorzeashan · 5 months

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Eight has always been in love with ghosts, especially those who leave their mark on the story. Jadus, a specter whom disappears into the Force, whose status is always a mystery. Nine, who haunts the narrative, his other side and other self. Hunter, who he kills, who he could only love once gone. Their presence can be felt, but not touched--and the man who coulf never be accepted by the living can only love the dead. This is who he is: bride to the afterlife.

#swtor #ooc #going crazy. thinks about how every servant of jadus is touched by him in different ways #but the hand is the only one who can directly say they've talked to him #and the rest have to pray and manifest their own interpretations of jadus into reality #eight starts to think jadus might be all a dream. a result of the castellans #he would never lose faith in him like that but on the other he's sure he's in love with a ghost #just imagining. all these ghosts clinging to him.#realizing he's only loved ghosts and those haunting his story #maaaaaaan

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uhealedb · 8 months

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i rule him

all he wants to do is kiss me, hold me, kiss me so much anywhere, all i do is make him feel filled with love. all he sees is joy. al he sees is perfection.

this is truth idc

#iLove u #he pictures me when he has sex all the motherfucking TIME! understand this hun. i am pretty ANNDDD his dream woman bro #looks and personality secured .#miss u means ur missing me more.....#youlong to hold me #i am on your brain all the time #yk i'm the one bc no matter how much time apart #you can't escape me #intimacy #law of assumption #love manifestation

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cestacruz · 28 days

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Mmm Jeanne

#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore #jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write #we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote #was actually Her own book #jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life #marie reads to jeanne is my image #jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence #if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself #unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal #she can sign her own name ofc thats historical #she can recite the bible from memory iirc #i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream #like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO #anyway. now jeanne again but physical #oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life #i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different #but i just gotta confirm #but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that #when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair #sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part #and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like #but it still upsets her #not that she'd ever complain to people #you can probably get it out of her tho #unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year #war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh #my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc #actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...

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roobylavender · 2 years

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the thing i don’t really get about people’s love for the morrison batman run on an ideological level (bc obv we have rehashed the racism angle to death on here) is like. sure there are always points to be made about the harmful extremes of vigilantism and how it hurts not just ordinary victims who are strangers to you but also your friends and family and inevitably yourself. but those are things you can accomplish while maintaining a core characterization and i don’t think that’s something that ever applies to morrison’s version of bruce at all. bruce becoming someone who would believe in vigilantism to the point of mass surveillance and control is at complete odds with the bruce developed in the eighties and nineties who began to realize the overreach vigilantes possessed and how the future he was working towards had to be one where he could imagine them no longer existing. he created entire failsafe mechanisms for his closest friends bc he recognized that power in the wrong hands was an incredibly dangerous thing. his interpretation of the no killing rule was specifically about refusing to take control bc he believed he had no right to be afforded the power of ultimate judgment and wanted his priority to be saving victims before they met untimely fates

if you want to drive bruce to his natural conclusion, it has to draw from his core, which paints the picture of a person who cares too much to the point of delusion. an icarus of heroes, if you will. he cares so much he’s willing to let people walk away and hate him if it means allowing them to move on and remain protected. he cares so much he’s willing to shift all burdens onto himself so that no one else will have to suffer for the cause. there’s a deep tragedy in bruce’s inclinations towards isolation, but it’s mired in the selflessness of martyrdom as opposed to the selfishness of pride. if bruce ever meets his end it has to be with him dying in service of the vision he was striving for but tragically could not achieve bc he was only one man and it takes more than that to change the world. his death has to be an act of the most delusional love. love for his family, love for his friends, love for people, love for the world. a heartbreaking tragedy steeped in the most palpable hope. something as simple as diving in to save someone but not making it out alive in the process. we’ve come to read about a batman defined by the most expansive events and life-changing decisions, but the classic batman was best defined by what he accomplished in the everyday. it seems only fitting he would die trying to do the right thing

#personal essays #i was going to add something about parallax hal but this is already so long lol #idk i just think you can write character deaths (whether literal or figurative) as something much more meaningful #than something that acts as outright character assassination #like parallax hal is not a character assassination development. it’s the natural conclusion to everything about hal #his desperation to help and to make something of the power he’s been given so he can help people #and it all being utterly meaningless in the face of apocalyptic destruction and the guardians’ constraints #his descent and death are tragic but they’re the deepest expressions of hal’s hopes and dreams #and to me that’s how it should be. a balance of political critique and maintenance that superheroes are a manifestation of hope #even if fighting against the system that constrains them and the world is terribly hard

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