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thegreatestofheck · 4 years

Text

i love you ≬ JJ Maybank ≬

request - If you do song request, can you do a JJ one based on i love you by Billie Eilish? Angsty please :))

warnings - angst. swearing, cheating, unhealthy relationship synopsis - your relationship with JJ had always been rocky, built on a mutual desire for affection. that doesn’t mean he would never break your heart. a/n - anon, ask and you shall receive ;) (i’m an idiot and didn’t give this a title last night before I queue’d it, oops)

***

It's not true Tell me I've been lied to

Your heart shattered in your own hands. You watched as the still bleeding pieces fell to the ground, mixing with the dirt and the dust beneath your feet.

JJ stood in front of you, his hands out in front of him too, as if his own heart was sitting there like yours was. But his heart was in his chest; safe and warm and still beating.

“What the fuck?” you breathed. You could have said a thousand things, some of them angry, some of them sad, some of them numb. But that was all you could come up with.

“y/n, I-” JJ took a step forward and you shot him a look that told him if he moved another muscle, he was dead where he stood. So, he stopped in his tracks and swallowed. “Please, just...hear me out.”

“Hear you out?” Your voice broke as a thickness tightened your throat. Your nose burned as your eyes filled with tears. Trying to blink them away, you closed your mouth and gave a shake of your head. “You don’t get to say anything else. Not after what you did.”

“It wasn’t what you think.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” you nearly shrieked, your hands shaking as you lifted them toward your head. “How could it not be what I thought? What I saw with my own two fucking eyes?”

JJ covered his face with his hands.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“You’re drunk off your tits right now, aren’t you?” You asked, eyes narrowing. JJ was silent. “Aren’t you?”

“That’s besides the point.”

“So, just because you’re drunk that excuses you....” You shifted your lips, fighting with your tongue over the shape of the words you were trying to say.

“No, it doesn’t.” He took a step forward and you flinched, but you didn’t have the strength to give him any more hateful looks. “It doesn’t and I’m sorry. Baby, I’m so sorry.”

At his words, you collapsed to the ground, your knees completely giving out beneath you.

Crying isn't like you

You hit the soft dirt beneath you with a muffled thud, a strangled sob tearing from your throat. Your fingers dug into the dirt, part of you hoping to pull out what remained of your broken heart and piece it back together again.

It wasn’t until you felt droplets of water hit your hands that you realized you were crying. But then it came like a hurricane, pouring out of you like a beast that had been rattling at the cages for so long.

You had seen all the signs, of course you had. You knew exactly what you had signed up for when you started dating the infamous JJ Maybank. But you turned a blind eye to it, hoping that somehow, he would be different with you around. That the drinking and the smoking and the girls would all fall on the back burner and it would just be you.

You were an idiot to think that would be the case.

Digging your fingers deeper into the earth, you squeezed your eyes shut. Another sob came from you mouth and you dropped your chin to your chest, admitting defeat.

JJ stood there, unmoving. He couldn’t recall a single time he had seen you cry since he had met you months ago. But here you were, dissolving right in front of him and it was his fault.

JJ stepped closer by a single foot and when he noticed that you didn’t react at all, he took another. He stepped closer and closer to you until he loomed just above you and then he lowered himself to his knees.

What the hell did I do?

He put his arms around you slowly, afraid that at any second you would scream and shove him away. But all you did was cry.

When his arms were all the way around you, you let out another, heartbroken sob. He waited awkwardly until you lifted your hands from the dirt suddenly to cling to his arms like they were the only thing keeping you on this earth. He pulled you in to his chest and you let him, barely aware of what you were allowing him to do.

You dug your fingernails into his skin, but he didn’t make a sound, he just held you close.

“What did I do?” You sobbed, barely capable of breathing at all. “What the hell did I do?”

“Nothing, baby,” he whispered to you, his voice breaking as he brushed your matted hair from your eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then...why? Why, JJ?”

He hesitated, giving you a tight squeeze.

“Cause I’m fucked up. And you...are so good. Too good. And I know I don’t deserve you. And I had to ruin it and I’m so sorry.”

You tightened your grip on his arm, the pain in your chest not easing at his words. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop your endless sobs and you couldn’t get a single proper breath into your lungs.

JJ ran his fingers delicately through your hair, not even tugging when he reached the knots.

This might have been easier if it was you fault. If you hadn’t loved him enough or if you hadn’t given him what he needed. If you had been a pain or a bother or made him angry. If you had hid the liquor and cussed him out when he came back to you drunk. If you had taken all his blunts and thrown his lighter in the trashcan. If you had made a louder fuss when he flirted or danced with other girls. If you had...if you had...if you...

But you did everything right and he cheated anyway. It wasn’t your fault, so why did it feel like you messed up somewhere?

Never been the type to Let someone see right through

You had spent your entire life shutting people out, keeping everyone at an arm’s length away. The closer someone was to you, the more they could hold over your head, the more they could control you. And you were tired of being controlled.

It was your mom who raised you as a puppet. Every word you ever spoke before you turned 15 was a direct quote from her own mouth. She chose what you dressed, who you talked to, what you studied in school, which sports you played. She made every decision in your life and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

After she died, you vowed that no one would ever hold that kind of power over you again. No one could break you if you didn’t show them you were made of glass.

But then you met JJ. Every second that he was around, dropping his pathetic one liners and trailing his tantalizing fingers over your skin, your walls cracked little by little. You weren’t ready to admit they were crumbling until you were already his, wrapped so tightly around his finger that there was no hope of letting go.

From the moment he first smiled at you, the light of the campfire illuminating the sapphire in his eyes, to the moment he broke your heart to pieces and even after, you were his.

Up all night on another red eye

The world was dark as you sat awake in his bed. It wasn’t really his bed. It was John B’s bed. But this was the place that JJ always brought you. Back to this bed.

He was asleep beside you, breathing heavily. You had spent enough nights awake in this same place to know that this was the very beginnings of a nightmare. You could wake him now, stop it before it started, but you did that once and he hit you accidentally. You couldn’t hold it against him, it wasn’t his fault, but you didn’t want to risk it.

Your legs were still sore. With JJ, you were always sore. It was a different feeling that you were used to. But it was this part that you enjoyed the most. The not being alone at night, sleeping in an empty bed with nothing but the rustling leaves and the creaking house to comfort you. That’s probably the same reason JJ liked having you here with him.

You looked up at the ceiling until JJ’s heavily breathing became quiet whimpers. Rolling onto your side, you propped yourself up onto one elbow and put your hand on the side of his face.

“Baby,” you whispered, leaning in close, your lips grazing his cheek. “You’re safe. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

He jerked once, but you only held him tighter, pressing your forehead to his temple.

“You have nothing to be afraid of,” you told him quietly. His eyes opened, but he wasn’t truly awake, not yet. “No one will ever hurt you. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

JJ groaned and blinked rapidly. You felt his breathing go ragged, panic settling in for a few seconds before he realized who was speaking to him. He relaxed after a few moments.

“y/n?” He murmured, turning toward your face. You smiled.

“It’s me.”

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“No, honey. You didn’t.”

“Oh, good.”

He was already falling back into his deep sleep. You held him close, letting him mimic your own steady breathing until he was once sleeping once again. Humming quietly to yourself, brushing your thumb across his cheek, you wondered if you would be able to coax yourself to sleep as easily as you did him.

I wish we never learned to fly

But this is where all the love got you; a shattered heart and a sore throat.

If you hadn’t let your walls fall down so easily, if you hadn’t taken that step off the cliff and unfurled your wings, maybe you wouldn’t be here now.

You were Icarus and JJ was your sun. You were too desperate to fly and he burned too hot. There had never been any chance that the two of you would make it out in one piece.

”Baby, I’m sorry,” JJ said again. You tightened your jaw and let your eyes flutter shut. “I don’t want to hurt you ever again. I’m sorry.”

”Why did we do this to ourselves?” You asked, your voice broken from so much sobbing. “Why did we do this?”

JJ didn’t say anything. He clenched and unclenched his jaw. You knew he wanted to say something, but he just couldn’t bring himself to say it. It didn’t take long for you to realize that he wasn’t going to say anything, so you held on tighter to his arm and he pulled you in closer.

You could hear the pounding of his heart. His chest rose and fell just like it did when he had a nightmare, only this time, the nightmare was yours.

Slowly, you started to breathe again. The tears on your face started to dry and JJ brushed away the remaining salt as his thumb grazed gently across the skin of your cheek.

For a moment, he almost thought you had fallen asleep. Your eyes closed and breath finally steady, JJ thought this was the calmest he had ever seen you. You were so often wound up, thinking about everyone else other than yourself. Constantly worrying about him and everything at home that you barely slept at night. And now here you were, resting soundly in his arms. Maybe we should just try To tell ourselves a good lie

“Lie to me,” you said suddenly, reminding him that you were awake. Your words startled him enough that he stopped his rhythmic stroking of your face.

“What?” He asked, looking down at you. You squeezed your eyes tighter together and nestled further against his chest.

“Lie to me,” you repeated, feel another tear slip down your cheek. “I don’t care what you say. Just...lie to me.”

JJ let out a breath through his nose.

“I’ll never hurt you,” he whispered. Your stomach seized and the muscles of your face flinched. “I’m yours completely. Nothing will ever come between us. You’re safe here.”

I didn't mean to make you cry

You could feel his tears against your scalp. There was a part of you that wanted to sit up and wipe away his tears and tell him that it was okay, that you forgave him. But there was another part, the bitter and angry part that knew that he didn’t deserve your forgiveness or your love.

And both of those parts mingled into something that you couldn’t place and it weighed down, keeping you where you were.

“I never meant to hurt you,” JJ whispered and his voice broke. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

For a moment, you almost thought he was telling you the truth.

Maybe won't you take it back Say you were tryna make me laugh

There wasn’t a person alive who made you laugh like JJ did. With his strange antics and his stupid jokes and his constant idiocy, there was very little that JJ could do that wouldn’t make you laugh.

You remembered the first time he made you laugh, all those months ago while you stood in line waiting for your ice cream. He said some stupid joke to his friend from all the way across the small shop. All you did was laugh quietly to yourself, but it was enough. Ever since that day, he had his eyes fixed on you.

He told you jokes, he made you laugh, and he made you cry.

And right now, you wished none of it had happened. You had asked him to tell you lies, to make you believe something that wasn’t true, and part of you was starting to think that was what he had been doing from the beginning.

It had all been one big, massive joke that went too far. He was just trying to make you laugh.

And nothing has to change today You didn't mean to say "I love you"

“I love you.”

His final lie. A wave of numbness washed over you. The pain in your chest eased and you could feel your heart start to beat again. Pulling away from him slowly, you looked him dead in the eye. He dropped his hand from your cheek and let it fall into his lap.

“Say it again,” you said, a clearness in your voice that hadn’t been there before. “Say it again.”

“I love you.” Again, you almost believed him. If you could get the image of that girl in his bed out of your head, the very same bed that you often shared, if you could forget about her and the ecstasy on JJ’s face at her mere presence, maybe you could have believed him.

I love you and I don't want to

You wouldn’t lie to yourself. There was no point. In the months since you had known JJ Maybank, you had fallen helplessly in love with him. He was all you had in this dark and unforgiving world. You couldn’t give that up.

“I love you, too,” you whispered, lowering your head, almost in defeat. You watched the muscles on JJ’s face twitch as he examined every inch of you, waiting for you to take it back and say you didn’t mean it.

But you did. You meant it and you couldn’t take it back.

You made your choice. Even if he was lying, you chose to believe him. You had to. It was all you could do to keep on breathing. Without JJ, you would be alone again, stranding wingless on the solid ground, trapped in a cage that you made yourself, alone in an empty bed with no company save for the rustling leaves and creaking house.

It was a terrifying thought.

You never wanted to be alone ever again and if JJ was your solution, no matter how badly it ached, you weren’t going to walk away from it. From him.

The smile that you gave me Even when you felt like dying

It took JJ a few moments to decide you weren’t going to take it back. But when he did, a tearful smile twitched its way up his lips. You looked up at him then, tears making clear tracks down his grimy cheeks, his pink lips still unsure, unknowing as they smiled at you. You caught a glimpse of his teeth beneath those honey sweet lips and, try as you might, you couldn’t help but see them as fangs.

JJ put a gentle hand behind your neck and pulled you toward him, pressing his forehead to yours. The breath he released was ragged. You shut your eyes once again as he shook ever so slightly, still uncertain. Pursing your lips, you lifted one of your hands and placed it over his wrist, accepting his gesture. Even though your eyes were closed, you knew he was smiling.

And to your surprise, so were you.

We fall apart as it gets dark I'm in your arms in Central Park

JJ moved his hand from behind your neck to just under your jaw as he could tilt your face up toward his. He didn’t give you time to even open your eyes before he pressed his lips to yours. At first, it was almost like a promise. You weren’t sure exactly what it was he was promising, but it felt sincere.

Then it became needy, like it always did. JJ flicked his tongue along your bottom lip, pulling you in even closer. That hunger that always burned within him came out whenever you were around and now was no different.

By his touch, you knew he needed you just as badly as you needed him. He couldn’t stand to be alone either. And those girls he had on the side and the booze he hid under the pillow, they weren’t enough to fill the void in his chest. You were.

Your touch, your words, your presence. You were what he needed, like a medication that started as something good but slowly became an addiction. He couldn’t shake you.

Everything was falling apart. The facade was fading. Any mirrors or glass barriers that the two of you had put up to pretend like whatever was going on in your relationship was perfectly normal had long since collapsed. But it didn’t matter now because you were in his arms once again. The only place you ever needed to be was right here.

Maybe you were both falling apart, but it was better to do it together than alone.

There's nothing you could do or say I can't escape the way, I love you

You had never lied to JJ before. Not even the little white lies that everyone always told. You could never bring yourself to do it. You would never be able to believe a single word that came out of his mouth, but he would always be able to believe you.

“I love you,” you said again as you pulled away for a breath of air. JJ kept you close, foreheads still together, mouths only a breath apart. He breathed heavily and his hand tightened at your words. “I love you.”

You were crying again, silent tears running from your eyes. You hoped he wouldn’t see them.

“I love you,” he replied, a mantra you knew he would tell himself over and over and over again even though the words were dead to him. Whatever it took to keep you by his side.

“I love you.”

I don't want to, but I love you

#jj maybank #jj maybank angst #jj obx imagine #jj imagine #jj x reader #jj angst #jj obx #jj outer banks #outer banks #obx #outer banks fic #jj fic #obx fic

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tired-buttercup · 3 years

Text

Last Christmas

On AO3

Jaskier stopped the car, and stared at the hundreds of blinking fairy lights that decorated the house in front of him. This year’s cabin was incredibly pretty. Jaskier would be the first to admit that when the booking for the place to celebrate that year’s Christmas fell into Lambert’s hands, he was afraid they would end up in a creepy and deteriorated house, by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Yet, somehow Lambert managed to outdone every one of them. It was their annual tradition, their special time. A Christmas with their chosen family and their friends. It was a time that Jaskier kept close to his heart, and nothing would keep him away from it. Not even Geralt.

With a sigh, Jaskier left the car. He hung his bag on one shoulder and took the tray from the passenger seat. He was on pastries’ duty this year. Closing the door, he headed towards the cabin, but before he could even knock, the door jerked open.

“Fucking finally! You were just being late so you wouldn’t have to help!” Lambert grumbled, taking the tray from his hands. Jaskier knew he didn’t want to help, just to steal some sweets.

“Did it work? I can come later if there’s still something to do”

“Ha, ha,” Lambert said pointedly. “Eskel hasn’t arrived yet, so he beat you at that.”

“No? I thought he would be here already,” Jaskier’s heart skipped a beat.

“Don’t look so disappointed, buttercup, he’s on his way. Got delayed at work,” Lambert said, watching his face carefully, searching something.

Jaskier hummed in acknowledgment, finally taking off his coat. For a moment he felt ridiculous of having thought that Eskel wouldn’t be here. He would have told him yesterday, when they talked.

“Jaskier!” Triss' voice called him from another room, guiding him where she was. Lambert disappeared with the tray of cookies, while Jaskier followed his friend’s voice to the living room. Triss was decorating the Christmas tree, wearing an ugly sweater that somehow she managed to pull off perfectly. Life was unfair.

“Hello dear, you look lovely as always,” he said as he kissed her cheek.

“You don’t look that bad yourself”

“You know that’s a lie, lass,” Vesemir teased, making his presence known. Jaskier just smiled, and went to hug him, kissing his cheek too. He had missed the old man so much this past year. “You know that you don’t have to wait till Christmas to see me, right?”

“Hey, I also saw you on birthdays too” Jaskier joked back, but more seriously he murmured, just for Vesemir to hear “It’s been a rough year”

“I know kiddo, I know”

Jaskier could feel the tears trying to embarrass him, so he hid his face on Vesemir's shoulder, in a valiant effort to control his emotions. This man was the paternal figure he had never had, and even though he met him well in his twenties, the feelings weren't less for it. Vesemir was always there for him: for the advice, for the scolding, and for the laughs. And he was eternally grateful for having been practically adopted by the man.

“Where’s Aiden?” asked Jaskier, clearing his throat and letting Vesemir go.

“Here I am. Wouldn’t mind a little help”

He was carrying more firewood than he should, and Jaskier rushed towards him, taking half of the load and heading towards the fireplace to replenish the stack of logs for when it gets too cold to get outside.

Aiden was one of the last additions to the family, besides Triss. Yet, somehow, Triss has always been there, in the background, till she was invited to celebrate with them a few years ago when she didn’t have where to spend Christmas. After that, it became a kind of tradition for her too.

Aiden, on the other hand, was introduced last year by Lambert, and he got on so well with them that it seemed as if he had always been one of the merry band of misfits. It was a surprise, really, and they couldn’t help to tease Lambert a little bit, how an asshole like him ended up a cool and charming guy like Aiden. Deep down, really deep down, Lambert was a sweetheart too, and Aiden was a lucky one as well.

Jaskier was making the pile of firewood neater, when a well-known gruff voice called his name. Even though he was resigned to meet him there, the pang of anxiety he felt was like fingers closing around his throat. He willed himself to breathe, schooled his face in a neutral smile and turned around to face Geralt. Of course, Yennefer was with him.

“Geralt! Yennefer! It’s good to see you two!” for his surprise, he only had to half fake his enthusiasm. He felt a little spark of happiness at seeing them. At seeing him. He didn’t reach for a hug, though.

“We didn’t know if you’d come,” Yennefer commented offhandedly. Of course they had noticed how much he had been avoiding them. It had been odd, to be honest. He was so used to being around Geralt, that it had been terribly hard at first to keep his distance. Geralt didn’t look for him either, and he came to realize that he was the one who always reached for the other. He didn’t blame him though, he knew it was hard for him to socialize, but it hurt a little bit nonetheless. He felt so stupid, on one hand he was desperate to avoid them, and on the other he wished Geralt had tried harder to reach for him. But he didn’t, and Jaskier had been a mess for many months.

Something broke between them last Christmas, and none of them had been willing to acknowledge it on those times they had no other choice than to meet. But it was hard to ignore it now. The hesitancy in Geralt’s demeanor, and Jaskier avoidance were clear enough. If Eskel hadn’t caught him on that fateful day, if he hadn’t been a solid figure in his life for this last year, Jaskier was sure he wouldn’t have been able to be there that night.

“I’d never miss Christmas”, he smiled.

Vesemir diverted their attention to some other topic Jaskier had no presence of mind to follow, yet he felt grateful for the help. He let his eyes roam on the decoration of the room, before inevitably landing again on the couple. He couldn’t help to remember.

Geralt had been in a bad mood, but what else was new? He had quarreled with Yennefer yet again. Jaskier didn’t even know why this time, but Geralt decided to drink every bottle he could find in the house. The rest were sleeping, and Jaskier self-appointed himself to be the one in charge of keeping Geralt from drowning in his own vomit.

He had been a fool. Geralt was on the way of being too drunk to even put two thoughts together, but still he tried to speak with him. Deep inside, Jaskier knew that it was just a matter of time before whatever was happening between Yennefer and Geralt turned into a heartbreak for him. He just knew, but he had to try. He had too. So he spoke about longing and about happiness. He invited him to get away, maybe to the coast, wishing with all his heart Geralt understood what he was trying to convey. Even though he had plucked up a lot of courage to talk to him, he still wasn’t brave enough to hand him his heart so overtly. He had hoped for the best, yet Geralt brushed it off, and started to snore in no time. It hurt, it really did, but somehow Jaskier was relieved that he wasn’t rejected directly or harshly, that their friendship was safe.

“Well, that could have been a lot worse,” he said to the air and took a moment to calm his heart. Counting his breath, in and out, he tried to put himself back together. When he felt as ready as he could be, he pushed Geralt lightly, waking him up. “Alright sleepy head, time to go to bed.”

“Jaskier?”

“No, it’s Santa. Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Jaskier said, pulling Geralt’s hand in an attempt to help him get up, but the man was dead weight. “I wouldn’t mind a little help here,” he encouraged, yet instead of sitting up, Geralt pulled him down so abruptly that Jaskier fell heavily on him.

“I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” Jaskier cried, trying to get up and assess the damage, but Geralt just held him tighter, without letting him move an inch. His breath caught in his lungs, and he could almost feel the shift in the ambiance. He put a little distance between them – the little distance he was allowed to –, searching into Geralt’s eyes.

Jaskier was so aware of the arm around his waist, of Geralt’s chest underneath his palms, and of the warmth of the body he was lying on, that he couldn’t really process what was happening, and before his brain could even catch up, Geralt was kissing him.

For a moment, it was all emptiness and confusion, and then his heart was soaring. Geralt had understood what he was trying to say, and he was kissing him. Jaskier felt as if he could laugh maniacally of happiness. He couldn’t really believe it, but it was happening. It was really happening.

They kissed, and kissed, and then a little more. Jaskier felt as if he was in a dream, and couldn’t help to giggle in between kisses. This was the best Christmas present he could have ever hoped for. He lost track of the time, and before he was aware of it, they drifted to sleep.

Jaskier woke up when somebody threw a pillow at his face.

“Come on, sleeping beauty. Get ready, we are going to get breakfast”

He blinked slowly, trying to chase the sleepiness and the confusion away. It took some effort to recognize where he was, and immediately he spotted what was missing.

“Where is Geralt?” He felt a little bit disappointed in waking up alone.

“Upstairs, I think. Hurry up!”

“Alright, alright”

Jaskier yawned his way upstairs, still half asleep but feeling giddy inside. The excitement from the previous night was still running through his veins, making his steps look like a little dance. He was so happy he could hardly believe it. Happy and greedy, because there was no way he’d miss a good morning kiss. With that idea in mind, he peeked into Geralt’s room ready to singsong a good morning, but the words got stuck in his throat.

Yennefer and Geralt were there. Kissing. Pressed against each other as if they wanted to fuse.

He could swear he felt his heart stop and break. He wished to feel confusion, he wished to feel betrayal, but the only thing he was feeling was resignation. He knew it was too good to be true, but he had wanted so hard to believe that Geralt would want him in that way. But reality punched him on the face.

The couple made a noise, and that cued Jaskier to escape before he was caught being his pathetic self. He turned to go, but before he could do so, he found Eskel, watching him. When their eyes met, Jaskier was sure Eskel knew exactly what he saw, what was happening just in front of him. The understanding he found in his expression made his eyes start to sting, and when steps echoed from the stairs he could only stare at him in panic, wishing that Eskel could make him disappear.

After that horrible day, Jaskier avoided Geralt and Yennefer whenever he could. Sometimes it was hard, since their lives and friends were completely intertwined. But Eskel’s constant company and help was a pillar for him. They had always been good friends, but after what they shared that day, they had become incredibly close.

At first, Eskel was there because of his heartbreak, the mountain of a man too soft for his own good, but as Jaskier became better at handling it they somehow stuck together, too used now to each other’s company. He would sometimes drop at Eskel’s house to help him to mow the lawn, or Eskel would pick him up after work to have dinner in that new place they wanted to try, or just sit on the sofa and watch some awful random movie while eating pizza. The worse the movie was, the better.

With time and Eskel’s constant presence, he got better. He was better. It still hurt a little to see them together, he had spent so many years loving Geralt that he somehow had to learn how to deal with this new reality. He was doing well. Even now, watching them being so domestic made him smile a little bit. He was fine, and he was going to get better.

After a while, when everyone started to play Gwent, he moved to sit by the window, staring outside feeling a little anxious. It had started to snow lightly, but the weather forecast predicted heavy snowfalls for the rest of the night. Soon, it wouldn’t be safe to drive anymore, and Eskel hadn’t arrived yet. He’d call him, but he didn’t want to add a distraction.

Another thing that changed along the year were his feelings for Eskel. His lovely and kind Eskel. At first, he thought it was just because he felt grateful, but as the months went by, he had to admit to himself that it wasn’t the case. He had fallen in love with Eskel. His kindness and thoughtfulness planted a seed in Jaskier’s heart, and as time went by, and he got to know him better, it started to bloom. He couldn’t stop it, and not because he didn’t tried. He tried so hard at first. What if he just was replacing Geralt? What if he just was using him? What if he just was like an odd duckling following the first person to show him that kind of care? But time proved that he was selling himself short. He wasn’t using Eskel, he wasn’t confused. He was falling in love with Eskel, just as he was falling out of love with Geralt. And he didn’t know what to do with it. He was enjoying having those soft feelings, and how his heart started to run wild every time he even grazed Eskel’s hand, but at the same time, he was afraid. Geralt’s shadow still too present in his mind, making him feel like a coward, but he wouldn’t make the same mistake. He was just his friend and Eskel didn’t want him.

“You look like a kicked puppy,” teased Lambert, materializing besides him. It always annoyed him that such big guys could move so silently.

“Oh, shut up”

“He’s on his way, stop behaving like a lovesick fool”

“I’m not lovesick!” Jaskier complained feeling his cheek heat up with an annoying telltale blush. Was he that evident that even Lambert could catch up with his feelings? Did everyone know? He was starting to panic inside when Lambert’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

When Jaskier's eyes met Lambert’s, he could find just warmth in them. Yet, as always, it was ruined when the little shit opened his mouth again.

“Sure not, buttercup. Don’t tell Geralt, but Eskel has always been my favorite too”

“Lambert! Shut up!” Jaskier murmured in between clenched teeth. He didn’t mind Lambert’s knowing, but that didn’t mean that he wanted the whole house to know.

“Ok, ok, I’ll shut up, buttercup. I just wanted to let you know that I’m happy you are here tonight, I missed you this year… we all did.” Lambert’s words were so sincere, that Jaskier felt touched by them. He was about to reply, when his friend talked again. “But more important, I’m happy that you are better and moving on after that fine ass”

Jaskier just threw a pillow at him.

***

Eskel wasn’t driving as fast as he’d have liked. The weather was getting worse and worse, and he didn’t want to take chances. And perhaps, he also might be delaying his arrival, feeling a little bit anxious and suffering a tinsy-bit of a cold feet situation. He had made a decision, but after things kept going wrong all day, he started to have second thoughts.

Everything seemed against him. At work, two people called sick, and he had to take over their duties. Of course, he had to redo all the work of one of his colleagues, since the file got corrupted. Then, his boss asked him to stay a few over hours to help him finish their job before they closed for the holidays. He couldn’t say no. His boss was a good man who wished he was with his family as much as Eskel did, so the two of them stayed behind to finish the job. Then, when his truck refused to start, he was ready to smash something into pieces, his frustration raging in his blood. Yet, he managed to calm himself. At the end, his boss – blessed the man– lent him his car. It was a little uncomfortable for somebody of his size, but he felt ridiculously grateful for it.

And here he finally was, on his way to the cabin, more than five hours later than he planned. He had wanted to be one of the first to arrive, being prepared always calmed his nerves when he felt anxious. Not that he normally was, but with what he had planned for the day, feeling all that anxiousness was nothing. Last year’s Eskel would be amazed if he knew how things would end up being after that day.

“Shit,” Eskel murmured when Jaskier’s watery eyes filled with the panic of being discovered. Without even thinking, he took a few big strides, and pulled Jaskier behind him just in time for Lambert to appear.

“Let’s go, losers!” He called. Geralt and Yennefer left the room, hand in hand, and Eskel could feel Jaskier’s grip on his clothes get tighter.

“You just go, we’ll catch up later”

“You sure?” Asked Lambert, searching into Eskel’s eyes, aware that something was amiss.

“Yes” Eskel knew he would ask later, but for now, Lambert let them escape with that. Geralt and Yennefer seemed to be too invested in their world to notice anything outside their bubble.

The three went downstairs, but only when he was sure everyone was outside and the door closed behind them, Eskel turned around.

“Jaskier…,” he called, putting his hands on Jaskier’s shoulders, trying hard think in a way to soothe him. He knew how Jaskier felt about Geralt, everyone knew it. Everyone except Geralt, it seemed… that, or if he knew his friend as well as he did, he knew but he chose not to do a thing about it. Not letting Jaskier know he was interested too, nor the other way around, whatever he chose to do. Somehow he felt it was a little bit unfair for Jaskier, but he was no one to dictate how Geralt should behave.

Being honest with himself, he pitied Jaskier a bit. He was so in love with Geralt that sometimes it hurt to see their interactions. And when Yennefer appeared, he knew she’d be bad news for Jaskier. He wished he had been wrong, but here they were.

“I’m fine,” Jaskier said, without trying to explain himself to Eskel, he clearly knew what it was all about. “I’m fine”.

“No, you are not,” Eskel said softly. He could see the tears unshed, he could feel him trembling slightly under his hands, and he wouldn’t let him lie to him; not when he always pushed his feelings aside just for Geralt’s sake.

Just with that, just with Eskel’s concern, Jaskier broke. Big heavy tears started to flow, and Jaskier started to cry, his body shaking with the force of his sobs. Eskel just hugged him, not knowing what to say to make it better, not needing any explanation to know what was wrong. He knew, somehow he had always known everything would end up like this. He never thought he’d be the one to catch Jaskier when it happened, but he was glad he was there. Even though he couldn’t find anything to say, even though he felt his own heart ache with each raw sob, he was glad he was there for his friend.

Eskel hugged him tighter, rubbing small soothing circles in Jaskier’s back.

Jaskier just clung to him, crying his heartbreak out.

After that day, they became inseparable. They had always been good friends, but now it seemed they were joined by an invisible thread.

Eskel had tried not to leave him alone. Jaskier was a social butterfly, but in reality he didn’t have many close friends. He spent most of his time with Geralt, and when he started to avoid him, he was bound to get lonely. Jaskier’s family was out of the picture too, so he was alone most of the time. And being honest with himself, after what happened with Geralt, he was worried about him, so he tried to be there.

It had taken Geralt a few months to even notice the change in Jaskier behavior, and Eskel knew who was the one who put all the effort in making that friendship last that long. Jaskier had been avoiding Geralt, and Geralt didn’t seem to notice that absence in his life. The longer he spent with Jaskier, the more incredulous about it he felt.

Days became exciting for Eskel. Even though he tried to be the one helping the other, Jaskier’s constant presence improved his life in ways he couldn’t have ever fathom. Just having a laugh over silly things, shopping together, or even cooking dinner became a pleasant task instead of a duty. He started to enjoy the day to day in ways he thought it wasn’t possible in his usually boring –but still pleasant– life.

Those first months he couldn’t say that he had been in love with Jaskier, not really. Sure, he loved his friend, but he wasn’t in love with him. That changed rather suddenly. One minute they were both washing the dishes, chatting about nothing, and when Eskel looked up and saw Jaskier’s small smile he had his proverbial ‘Oh’ moment. Yet he couldn’t do anything about it, it wouldn’t have been right. He was trying to help Jaskier put his broken heart back together, not to take advantage of his vulnerable situation. So he waited and pined from afar.

As weeks went by and Jaskier was back to being his old self, Eskel started to long for him more than ever. Could he take a leap of faith? Sometimes he felt that Jaskier was interested in him too, but he didn’t want to be presumptuous in assuming it. After pondering about his course of action, he finally decided he’d take a chance. Jaskier was worth it. So he planned to do it that Christmas, he thought it’d be a romantic gesture, to soothe a bad memory with a – hopefully– good one.

However, nothing that day was going according to plans, and Eskel was having second thoughts. He was a fool, he couldn’t do that to Jaskier on the anniversary of a painful day for him. He wanted Jaskier in his life, as more than a friend, he couldn’t make him feel bad.

It was so difficult. He didn’t know how to confess his feelings without making Jaskier feel bad for rejecting him, or worse, making Jaskier feel that he had to say yes to him in order not to hurt his feelings.

He sighed. He was so sure in the morning, and now he was so full of doubts… maybe he’ll just stop thinking about it, and start wishing for the best or for a Christmas miracle. Maybe he had to just act normally and see where the night went.

Eskel parked in front of the cabin, and seeing Jaskier with his face pressed in the window, waving and smiling at him made him relax little by little.

Eskel was putting things away in his room when he heard a knock at the door.

“Come in”

It was Geralt. He seemed a little tense, fidgeting uncomfortably without saying anything. On any other night, Eskel would patiently wait for his friend to say what he wanted to say, but that night he wasn’t feeling particularly patient, especially towards Geralt.

“Geralt, what do you need to tell me?”

“Last year… I’m aware that… that you know what happened… I know you were with him throughout the year… I should say thank you, I guess,” Geralt sounded so unsure that Eskel felt a bit sorry for him. He loved his friend, but if they were going to finally talk about it, ha had to be sincere.

“You don’t really have to. I didn’t do it for you”

“I know. I regret what happened… I was a mess… I wasn’t sure… Yennefer was…is so volatile, and Jaskier ‘s … Jaskier”

“I know,” he truly did, he was not blind. He saw how Geralt used to watch Jaskier sometimes, till he met Yennefer. But that didn’t seem to mean anything for him. Somehow Jaskier was never enough for Geralt, and Yennefer was always too much. It wasn’t fair for Jaskier to be discarded every time she was around. “But you shouldn’t have given him hope, though” it felt good to finally say that, his voice betraying the anger and disappointment he felt. He loved his friend, but he was a fucking idiot sometimes.

“I shouldn’t have. But I made a choice”

“You did. And I made mine. I hope that doesn’t change things between us,” Eskel said. They knew each other well enough that he was confident that Geralt would understand. He waited, staring seriously at him.

“It won’t. Go for it”

“Where’s Eskel?” Jaskier asked. They had already had dinner, and everyone were in small groups, chatting so noisily that nobody hearing them would have guessed they were so few in the room.

“I think he said he was going to the car,” Aiden said.

“Is he still there?”

“It seems so”

Jaskier frowned, confused, it had been a few long minutes since Eskel went outside. He should have been back by then.

Making a quick decision, he went to grab a coat to chase after his friend. Normally, he’d have stolen it from Lambert, his leather jacket was amazing, but when he saw Eskel’s coat he couldn’t help himself and put it on, enjoying being surrounded by Eskel’s pleasant smell. Jaskier wasn’t a small man, but his stomach did a weird flip when the sleeves engulfed his hands, and he noticed that the shoulders of the coat were too big for him. He was sure he looked ridiculous, but he loved it.

He opened the door and the slap of the cold air almost made him regret the idea, but he kept going. He really wanted to spend Christmas with Eskel. Jaskier walked a few steps, and even though the first freezing impression, it wasn’t that bad outside. There was no wind, and the snow was falling so ethereally it seemed as if it was dancing its way down to the ground. And in the middle of the peaceful white scene, Eskel was resting against the car, staring into the night.

“If you are looking for Santa, I’m afraid to tell you that you missed him, he already left the gifts underneath the Christmas tree”

“Maybe not all the gifts I want fit underneath the tree”

“I knew you were a greedy bastard!”

Eskel smiled softly, but his eyes were oddly intense when they fixed on him.

“What are you doing here?” Jaskier asked when he was finally standing in front of Eskel. He was curious, but he was also trying to distract himself from the way Eskel’s was looking at him. It made him feel a little bit nervous and giddy at the same time.

“I needed a moment to think.”

“Am I bothering you? I can go inside…”

“No, you’d never bother me,” his voice, soft and lower than normally, made Jaskier weak.

“You scared me for a moment. I thought you wouldn’t be able to come. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without you,” Jaskier confessed, feeling the need to make Eskel aware of how important he was for him.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. For me, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without you too”

For a moment Jaskier didn’t know what to say, so he cleared his throat and blurted out the first thing he could think of.

“Aren’t you cold? I’m sure your hands are freezing,” he said, taking one of Eskel’s hands into his, in an attempt to warm them, but before he could fully start rambling, Eskel interrupted him.

“Are you wearing my coat?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, it was the first one I found,” Jaskier lied, feeling sheepish.

“It suits you. You should use more of my clothes,” he said, with a smug smile.

Jaskier froze on the spot, and his heart started to beat wildly, nervous and hopeful at the same time. What was Eskel trying to say?

“I’d like that,” he said, breathlessly.

Instead of replying, Eskel pulled him from the coat. Jaskier went with the movement, his legs shaky and clumsy, till he was almost pressed against Eskel’s chest.

“Eskel?”

“Jaskier, I really hope I’m not reading this wrong… if I am, please, tell me now before I–“

Jaskier interrupted his struggle with a quick kiss, only managing to get a hint of the softness of his lips. He couldn’t help it. Eskel was nervous, and he was too sweet, and Jaskier’s heart was beating hard in his chest. Could it be? It had to be, right? He couldn’t have interpreted things wrong. Suddenly he didn’t feel so sure, and panic started to constrict his lungs.

“You aren’t? Am I reading it wrong? If I did, I’m so so–”

This time it was Eskel’s turn to interrupt him. His lips, soft but sure, muffled Jaskier’s squeak of surprise, and his arms hugged him tightly against him. Jaskier’s hands came to rest on his chest, as Eskel licked his lower lip, asking for permission to deepen it. Jaskier just moaned and willingly opened his mouth, caressing Eskel’s tongue with his. That was enough permission for Eskel to kiss him as thoroughly as he needed to.

The surrounding cold seemed to disappear, and even the falling snow didn’t seem to be able to touch them. Their world was reduced to each other’s arms, to each other’s lips, and the sensations that threatened to drown them. They kissed softly and deeply, savoring the moment they had desired for what it felt like ages, and none of them thought it would be really possible. But it was, and it was everything they could have hoped for and more.

Eskel broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Jaskier’s, and taking a moment to bask in the sensations that flooded his heart. He’d never thought he could achieve this kind of happiness, yet, here he was.

“You didn’t read it wrong. I love you,” he murmured, his voice hoarse and low, and his eyes fixed on the face of his love. Jaskier beamed at him, taking his breath away with his next words.

“I love you too.”

*************

I hope you liked. It’s been years since the last time I wrote anything, but I really wanted to write this silly thing down. I know it’s clumsy, but it made me really happy to write it.

Happy Holidays everyone!

#jaskel #jaskier/eskel #jeskel #my writing

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lizardrosen · 3 years

Link

Edgar -- and pat he comes, like the catastrophe of the old comedy.

Songs and lyrics under the cut!

Daniel in the Den - Bastille

Felled in the night by the ones you think you love They will come for you

Brother - Luke Doucet

Oh brother, oh brother No shame and no surprise We all expect the unexpected from the boy who never cries

Brothers On a Hotel Bed - Death Cab for Cutie

But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize When he catches his reflection on accident

The Mute - Radical Face

And I set out on the heels of the unknown So my folks could have a new life of their own And that maybe I could find someone Who could hear the only words that I'd known

Bright - Lilli Furfaro

Lies They fed him lies He felt betrayed So he cut tiеs They were his family Hе burned them all the same Then he broke And lost his mind, his friends, his name

#Grownupz - FEiN

Daddy, I don't wanna grow up anyway Grown ups Are all sad Doesn't matter where I Come from anyway I'll grow up and get sad

Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks - Panic! At The Disco

Prescribed pills To offset the shakes, to offset the pills You know you should Take it a day at a time

Sedated - Hozier

Somewhere for this, death and guns We are deaf, we are numb Free and young and we Can feel none of it

Back from the Edge - Lord Huron

I crashed into the sea, then somehow I survived Don’t know what to believe, but I know I’m alive

Tickle Me Pink - Johnny Flynn

Pray for the people inside your head For they won't be there when you're dead

Unfortunate Few - The Ditty Bops

At first you remember but then you forget And once I'm forgotten you can't get me back

I Know It’s Over - The Smiths

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head See, the sea wants to take me The knife wants to slit me Do you think you can help me?

Genius Next Door - Regina Spektor

Atheists were praying full of sarcasm And the genius next door was sleeping Dreaming that the antidote is orgasm

Dancing Devil - Small Leaks Sink Ships

And bless your silly son for all his wicked ways He's got the world on a string But his heart is out of place

You’re Dreaming - Wolf Parade

I got Metal in my blood Dancing around to the magnets What about our love So hard to start in a violent age

Possum by Night - The Mountain Goats

Try not to get stuck in the intake vent Grow fat and grow old and go blind and be content

Night’s Song - Bayside

Angels/Losing/Sleep - Our Lady Peace

Looks like the holy ghost is gone Now you're afraid of yourself Over your shoulder you have to watch Heaven fall into hell

Grapefruit - Aaron West & the Roaring Twenties

In all my dreams, I'm in the house that I grew up in I'm trying to be half the man I know my dad is, or was I see me as a father looking over a daughter who grew up to be just like you

The State of Dreaming - MARINA

I live my life inside a dream, only waking when I sleep If I could sell my sorry soul, I would have it all

Molten Light - Chad Vangaalen

They ran back into town and hid in the church They explained their situation and they feared for the worst The priest told the brothers that she could not be killed

The Spectator - The Bravery

I am just a child to a man Back to the dust where I began I was never even here at all

Until I Am Whole - The Mountain Goats

On a picnic bench alone Watch the sky go dark Dig my nails into my hands Hope it leaves a mark

Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths

Achilles, Achilles, just put down the bottle Don’t listen to what you’ve consumed It’s chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy Of feeding and it’s wholly untrue

Bedlam Boys - Old Blind Dogs

My staff has murdered giants And my pack a long knife carries To cut mince pies from children's thighs With which they feed the fairies

Willow Tree March - The Paper Kites

And you weaken your love And you hold it above your head Success is a song of the heart, not a song of your bed

Ash Tree Lane - MS MR

Flakes of memory plagued by disease Have I only seen what I want to see

In the Woods Somewhere - Hozier

His bone exposed His hind was lame I raised a stone to end his pain What caused the wound? How large the teeth? I saw new eyes were watching me

Pray - The Amazing Devil

Losing My Mind - Mystery Skulls

Feels like I'm losing my mind Feels like a dream of me all of my life, baby

All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues - Senses Fail

Falling down, as windows pass, I start to cry And curse the day my parents laid In a bed of hopelessness Where love was made, please, mark my grave "Unknown..."

Back From the Edge - James Arthur

Back to the start Back to my heart Back to the boy who would reach for the stars

Call Them Brothers - Regina Spektor

Over and over, they call us their friends Can't we find something else to pretend? Like nobody won and we're safe at the end

Sons and Daughters - The Decembrists

We will arise from the bunkers By land, by sea, by dirigible We'll leave our tracks untraceable now

#king lear #edgar #shakespeare #music

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

Text

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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forever-rogue · 5 years

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The Edge of Thirty - Part 3

Summary: Everyone seems to be getting married, having babies, or “growing up.” Except Y/N. Suddenly at almost thirty, reality seems to be crashing down on her – and hard. Nothing seemed as daunting as turning thirty…until she met Gwilym Lee anyway.

A/N: You guys, thanks for all your love on this so far! Let me just say that like it’s 90% relatable content to me, and some of you lot as well, which is brilliant :’) Y’all also totally caught onto me and that fact I introduced PROF Gwil. I couldn’’t resist! Taglist is open! xx

Pairing: Gwilym Lee x Reader

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: Language, some sexual innuendos

MASTERLIST

The soft early morning light filtered in through the small of gap of Gwilym’s smartly chosen curtains. The window was cracked ever so slightly, allowing the bustle of London’s traffic to waft in and slowly reach Y/N’s ears.

Letting out a tired, yet content sigh, she opened her bleary eyes, a hand reaching up to wipe away the remnants of sleep. It took her a few moments of looking around to realize she wasn’t at home in her own bed with Deacon curled up at her feet. She slowly started to sit up, attempting to figure out where in the world she was, when she noticed a large lump in the bed next to her. I didn’t she immediately felt a sense of panic set in her bones.

Turning her body slowly, as to not wake up her lover from last night, she let out a small gasp when she realized that it was Gwilym. She hadn’t just imagined that she’d gone home with the sexy English professor last night.

“Bollocks,” she exasperatedly ran a hand through her messy hair, before taking a look down and seeing that she was naked. The only things on her were the light purplish blue bruises that littered the delicate skin of her chest and neck. How had she let this happen again? At least she remembered his name this time.

She was about to slide out from under the covers and make a hasty escape when a hand grabbed onto her wrist and kept her in the bed. Gwilym rolled over and studied her with a piercing gaze that left her feeling more naked and vulnerable, if that was even possible at that point.

“Where you just going to leave without saying anything?” he asked, an unreadable tone in his voice. She couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or upset; a part of her hoped he was upset, that this handsome man wanted more than just a one stand with her. The other part, and at this point she wasn’t sure which was stronger, wanted him to never remember her or their tryst.

“Yeah,” she admitted as she hung her head, almost mildly ashamed that he had caught her like this, “that was my plan. That’s generally how these things work, isn’t? You take me home, fuck me, and then I run out and we pretend this never happened?”

“Is that al you think this is? A one night stand?” he countered, quirking an eyebrow at her as he settled against pillows, his hand still on her wrist, “not for me. Although I haven’t really done this before. Aren’t you a little old to be doing this? We’re both adults, Y/N, and what we did wasn’t wrong or shameful.”

“Oh my God,” she peeled his hand off of her arm and hid her face in her hands, the events of last night running through her mind. She shifted slightly, feeling a slight soreness between her legs that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. He had been good. Very good. The fact that he knew how to please a woman was blatantly evident.

“What?”

“I slept with an old man!” she threw her hands up in exasperation as she staggered out of the bed in search of her dress from last evening. It was laying in a crumpled, wrinkly heap along with his own clothing. Frowning, she picked all of her items up and tried to haphazardly throw them on. Gwil watched her with a bemused expression.

“Middle aged at best,” he reminded her of their conversation from the previous night, “that’s what you had said. I’m a only a few years older, Y/N. It’s not a big deal.”

“Fucking hell,” she tried to get her bra on but it was a struggle with her shaking hands, “this shouldn’t have happened! I should have said no, but you’d to be all...you and I just couldn’t stay away from you!”

“Y/N, love, just stay,” he suggested, resting an around behind his head, “I want you to stay. We can spend the morning in bed, and I promise I’ll make you breakfast and take you home before I have to head into work. My first class isn’t until this afternoon.”

“Class!” she stopped dead in her tracks as she walked around for a clock to see what time it was. She groaned when she couldn’t find anything, digging around for her phone. Unlocking it, she let out a long sigh at the many missed calls and texts from Ben and the school. It was 10:30 in the morning. School started at 9:00.

“Yes...class is at-”

“I start at 9,” she almost shouted at him. He wasn’t likely to have known, she hadn’t told him that she taught young children,which he taught at the university level, “my kids are all alone. Crickle’s going to kill me! He’s looking for any excuse to fire me anyways! I have to go now.”

Gwil got out of the bed, quickly pulling his boxers that had been discarded the night before, reaching for his keys, “let me take you to work, it’s the least I can do. I-I didn’t realize you started early, I would have woken you up.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she put her hands out to stop him, “I just...I’m gonna steal your shirt, okay? I don’t have time to go home but I can’t just wear this dress. I’ll make it up to sometime, okay? I-I’m sorry!”

Gwil wasn’t able to get another word in edgewise before ran out of the room, her heels in one hand, his shirt in the other. A slew of curses was barely audible to him as he listened to her open and slam the door shut in a matter of seconds. He realized he hadn’t even gotten her phone number...they had been too busy with other things to get to that point.

He threw his keys back onto the dresser, before flopping back into his warm bed. It already felt like something was missing as he stretched out and rested his long arm on the spot she had previously occupied where a bit of warmth still lingered.

Something about her had drawn him in such a short period of time. It wasn’t just the fact that they had probably the best sex of his life. The way she rode him, the way she had chanted his name like it was a prayer when she was close, the delicious way she had tasted, the way she had let him be rough and gentle with her - it was all mind blowing. But more than that, it was her aura that had attracted him to her. It was a conglomeration of factors.

But he wanted more. That much he already knew.

As she ran into the busy London street, she pulled on Gwil’s oversized shirt, rolling up the sleeves and tying it off so it wasn’t as long and billowy, but looked purposeful. The shirt still smelled of Gwil, his natural scent mixed with the subtle cologne he favored. It was a look alright, definitely not work appropriate, but she was trying to concoct a story to excuse it. If nothing else she had figured she would run home during her lunch period and quickly shower and change. She was sure she still had the subtle, or not so subtle, smell of sex on her.

Y/N tried to jog to work as quickly as possible, no easy feat in a pair of heels, when her phone started buzzing in her hand again. It was Ben. Of course.

“Hey-”

“Y/N, where the hell are you!? I’ve been calling and texting you all morning,” Ben was practically shouting and she held back the phone so she wouldn’t go completely deaf. She opened her mouth but wasn’t able to get a word in before he continued his tirade, “I thought you were dead! You’re late, and Crickle is furious. Jesus Christ, you better have a good explanation for all this!”

“Ben, calm down,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she quickly crossed the street, “I’m alive, alright? I overslept...there was an emergency last night and I was up late and finally got some and missed my alarm.”

“What on earth could have possibly happened?” there came out the Dr. Jones voice that he so often used on his students and patients. Which basically meant that he saw right through her, “are you okay?”

“It was Deacon,” she lied, surprised by how quickly, and effortlessly, the words rolled off of her tongue, “he wasn’t feeling well when I got home last night, so I had to take him to the emergency vet and I wanted to stay up and make sure he was alright.”

“Poor little buddy,” Ben’s voice melted at the mention of her dog. He too adored the little guy like he was his own, “is he alright?”

“Doing better,” she hated lying and she hated dragging Deacon into the lie but it was the only thing she could think of at the moment. She always had this strange superstition that lying about someone getting hurt somehow actually made them get hurt. It was silly, she knew, but it still crept into her mind, “he’s a tough little guy after all.”

“I’m glad he’s okay,” he seemed to let out a sigh of relief, and she could just picture him sitting at his desk, running a hand through his soft curls. He had a kind soul, often caring more about things than necessary, and always wearing his heart on his sleeve, “do you think you’re going to make it in today? I-I can tell Crickle what’s happened.”

“I’m on my way now,” she almost sighed, crossing another street as the school slowly came into view in the far off distance. It was like an oasis in the desert, calling out to her, luring her in. As much as she wished she could take Ben up on his offer, she knew better than to do so. Crickle would have been on her in an instant, using it as a mark against her to fire her. She had a feeling that smarmy old bastard had been plotting this since the day she and Ben had started working at the school, “I can’t risk not being there today, Benny. He’ll have me axed before I could even get a word in.”

He let out a long breath, but he knew she was right. At least she had a plausible excuse for being late. After all, who wouldn’t understand someone staying up and taking care of their sick pup, “okay, just get there as fast you can. I’ll go and tell the substitute that’s in your room right now.”

“My absolute hero,” she ran across the street, too impatient to wait for the crosswalk to signal that it was okay to go, and earning herself a few honks from the oncoming traffic. She flailed her arms in a sort of pseudo apology as she tried to go as fast as possible, “I’ll call Crickle right now and let him now what’s happened. See you soon.”

Ending the call with Ben, Y/N gave herself a moment to breathe before searching for the school’s number to speak to the insufferable headmaster. She wished it could have been anyone but him, but alas, fate was not so kind, and she’d have to face him regardless. This time she couldn’t even blame anyone else. It was her own fault and she had thrown all discretion to the wind and gone home with Gwil. But there was just something about him, some sort of undeniable animal magnetism that had attracted her to him. Gwilym.

Snapping herself out of her day dream, she dialed the number and listened to the robotic directory, wishing it would go faster so she could just be finished. Upon finally getting a chance to dial Crickle’s extension, she did so, waiting with bated breath while it rang for what seemed like an inordinately long period of time. Upon her contemplation of hanging up, the other end picked up and a dry voice met her ears, “Gregory Crickle.”

“Headmaster, good morning. This is Y/N L/N,” she tried to keep her voice a fine line between cheery and sad, since she was about to have to self her fabricated story once again, “I wanted to call and apologize for my tardiness, I am however on my way and shall be there within the next fifteen minutes.”

“I do hope there is a good reason for your lateness, Miss L/N. Last we discussed, I had warned you about keeping up your appearances,” she could tell there was a smug smirk on his face as sat in his office, his feet probably on the desk as he ate his morning doughnut, accompanied by a cup of coffee as bitter as his soul.

“I’m well aware...sir,” she bit her tongue for a second, fighting back a slew of curses and insults, “my dog, Deacon, became very ill last night and I had to take him to the emergency veterinarian. I stayed up with him during the night to make sure he was okay, but I guess I must have missed my alarm. I was up quite late.”

“It appears so,” was all he said at first. She wasn’t sure if he actually believed her story, but she did her best to try and sell it. Figuring that if she saw him later, she’d even muster up a few tears for added effect, “but I’m sorry to your about dog. I hope he will make a full recovery. You may send the substitute to Classroom 314 upon your arrival.”

“Thank you sir,” she mentally let out a sigh of relief, “your kindness does not go unappreciated.”

“I expect it does not,” he replied. Before hanging up the call he decided to remind her, “do take care to be punctual this week. You never know when those visitors will make their appearance.”

“Yes sir,” she said as he ended the call. Once the line was completely silent she muttered under breath, “you slimy bastard.”

But it didn’t matter - she had gotten off almost scot free and things would be back to normal soon. All she had to go was remained under the radar for the next couple of weeks and everything would be fine. Easy peasy lemon squeezy as her students always reminded her.

“Good morning, my little loves!” Y/N almost shouted as she burst into her classroom, trying to appear as though everything was normal and she wasn’t almost two hours late. They were all such inquisitive little things, asking questions about almost everything, and she hoped, prayed rather, that they wouldn’t zone in on her outfit and question her disheveled appearance.

She had quickly popped into the student’s bathroom, making sure to wipe any old makeup off her face, tied her hair up in a messy, but acceptable bun, and pulled her dress as much as she could.

“Miss L/N, you’re here!” Jenny almost jumped up in her seat, excited to see her favorite teacher. The rest of the class gave her a big wave as she sauntered over to her desk.

“Thanks for covering, Ally,” she gave the familiar substitute a warm smile as she started to pull out her lesson plans for the day, “Crickle said room 314 needs you. I owe you one!”

“Buy me a coffee sometimes and we’ll call it equal,” Ally nudged her side gently before giving the kids a wave of goodbye and heading off to her next assignment.

Turning to face her favorite group of little humans, she took a seat at her desk, before glancing down at the plan she had prepared for the day. She knew she should stick to it, making sure that everything went according to a perfect plan, and be ready to dazzle anyone that entered her vibrant classroom. She may not have exceeded at a lot, but she knew in her heart of hearts that she was a good teacher.

“You see this?” she asked as she held up the intricately designed plans and displayed them to all of her students. They watched her with rapt attention, giving her a collective nod. Once she had crossed around the room, making sure each one of them had gotten a look at the plans, she jumped onto her desk before raising her eyebrow and tossing the papers into the trashcan that sat beside her desk. They all gasped before bursting out in a fight of giggles at the sheer audacity she displayed.

“I’m going to teach you all an important lesson today,” she smiled before going to her whiteboard and grabbing a bright purple pen. She quickly used scrawled out a message she hoped they would take to heart. It was a lesson she too, even as a bonafide adult, needed to remember sometimes. Life doesn’t always go according to plan.

“Plans are silly!” Johnny, a small wiry boy with the sweetest smile she had ever seen, agreed as he read over the words.

“Not always, Johnny,” she said with a smile, “sometimes they can be good. But it it important to remember that not every detail of our lives can just be planned out. Sometimes you have to have a little faith in knowing that things will work out. I had plans for you today, but to learn this lesson well, we’re ditching those plans.”

“What are we doing instead?” her favorite shy boy Brian asked, his little curls bouncing excitedly.

“We are going to spend the day on the playground, soaking up this beautiful sunshine and learning about all the wonderful plants, flowers, and creatures we encounter,” even though she was making this up on the spot, it seemed like a perfect plan. It came naturally and she figured she could finagle her way out of any repercussions should a certain someone spot her, “do we have a plan?”

“Yes!” they all echoed back at her, the smiles on their little faces bringing a smile onto her own.

She told them to get ready to head outside, grabbing their sweaters if necessary when a knock came at her classroom door. She left the kids at it as she opened the door and found Ben standing there, holding two cups of coffee in his hands. The smile on his face dissipated as he looked her up and down. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she cursed herself for opening the door fully and not just poking her head out. Nothing was sad as a sense of tense filled the air.

“Can I speak to you?” his voice wasn’t the usual soft, gentle timbre that she had grown to know over the years. Instead, it contained a tone of disappointment, a bit of exasperation. She knew better than to say no.

“Keep yourselves occupied for a few moments, loves,” she told her class as she slipped out to meet Ben in the hallway. She gnawed at her lower lip, doing her best to avoid his searing gaze. He knew. He knew immediately. In that moment she hated how easily he could read her, how he seemed to know everything about her without either of them even uttering a single word.

“You lied to me,” was the only thing that came out of his mouth. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement of fact, pure and simple. She sighed and stared at the ceiling, trying to remain composed. She had hoped she’d be able to avoid Ben until after lunch and she was able to run home and change. But of course the fates would not be so kind. A sort of karma to be sure.

“I didn’t want to,” she ran a hand over her face, which caused Gwil’s oversized shirt to shift slightly, exposed the marks he had left on her. Ben audibly sighed at the sight, as Y/N tried to quickly cover back up.

“There’s nothing wrong with Deacon, is there?” he adopted a cold tone as he took a step back, shaking his head at her. He tossed the coffees he had been clutching into the nearby trashcan. His distaste and the hurt look on his normally soft face broke her heart. She shouldn’t have lied to him in the first the place, she should have just told him, confessed her sins and feeling ashamed, but at least it would have been the truth.

“No,” she admitted as she trained her attention on the dingy old floor, scoffed with years of wear and tear. He let out a sharp breath through his nose, trying to find the words to accurately describe how he felt. It was a mix of many emotions, but sheer disappointment was first on the list, “I-”

“Save it, Y/N,” his response was snappy and short, a bitter tone clouded his voice, “I don’t want to hear another of your excuses. You lied to us last night and just ended up going home with someone? What the actual fuck? You couldn’t even spend one night with your friends? Then you had to go and lie about it? Look at the state of you, Y/N. You’ve rolled out of someone’s bed and come to teach a classroom full of children looking like a-”

“Ben, don’t,” she finally met his steely gaze, a newfound fire starting to course through her veins, “don’t presume to go on and give me a speech like you’re some sort of saint and I’m the sinner. None of you gave a shit about me last night. None of you even noticed when I got up, none of you bothered to say more than two words to me the whole time. I might as well not have shown up in the first place-”

“Maye Crickle was right-” he tried to interject but she held up her hand to silence him.

“Stop for one second. I get that I’m not like the rest of you; I’m not in love, getting married or having a baby, but I’m still your best friend. As I have been for over twenty years,” she felt stinging in her eyes as looked at him, “but you’ve all gone and started treating me like I’m some sort of social pariah. I’m still just me, nothing’s changed. The only mistake I made last night was meeting you all out. I should have known where I wasn’t wanted. I’m sorry I’m not perfect like the rest of you. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten it all figured out.”

“You still...it didn’t have to end up like this,” he countered and was met with only a curt nod, “I don’t know what to say to right now.”

“Don’t say anything then,” she shrugged her shoulders and bit back her tears, “walk away and leave. Besides, I’ve got a class to teach.”

He turned to walk back to his own office, without so much as another word. Y/N watched him go, wanting to run after him and apologize, pulling him in for a hug. But she didn’t. She remained rooted firmly in place, watching his retreating back as she wished she could take everything she had said. He was her best friend. In almost twenty years this was the first they had had a fight. It felt wrong, so wrong, like a dagger was twisting slowly in her heart. Ben had always been the one constant in her life, but now she wasn’t even sure she had him.

The door to the room creaked open slightly, and Jenny poked her little head out, looking at Y/N with a sad look on her little face. She had probably overheard everything. Y/N gave her the best smile she could muster, ruffling her hair gently.

“Miss L/N?” her voice was small and quiet.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Y/N asked as the small girl stepped out of the room and wrapped her arms her waist, hugging her as best as she could. Y/N felt a wave of emotion at the sweet gesture, and hugged her back tightly.

“I’m sorry you had a fight with your friend,” she whispered softly, “we can be your friends. We love you.”

“I love you guys too,” Y/N said as she dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. How she got so lucky with her kids she would never know, but right now she was glad for her little room of friends.

The rest of the week passed by in an odd mixture of too fast and not fast enough. She had kept her phone on do not disturb for pretty much the entire time, enjoying the little bit of solace it afforded her. But it made it almost too lonely and quiet and her heart ached for her friends.

Most of all, she wanted to apologize to Ben and talk things over, hoping it ended up with them in his office, shooting the breeze as they fueled up on caffeine. Instead the two of them avoided each other in the hallways, looking pointedly away from one another in an effort to prevent conversation.

Her only companion and source of conversation outside of work had been Deacon, and even he seemed to be disgruntled with her. But he had every right to be - she had lied about him, and hadn’t given him as much attention as he deserved lately. Luckily for her, all she had to do was text her neighbor and she’d pop in and check on the small dog.

She tried to win over his affection by getting him a small new army of toys and all sorts of treats but he wasn’t having it. He wouldn’t even sleep next to her at night, opting to sleep in his own little bed on the floor by the door.

Her last ditch attempt to win him back would happen on Friday when she brought him to school with her and let the class the take him on a walk to the park. For whatever reason, and she didn’t know how but decided not to question it, she had convinced the school to say yes to her little plan and gotten permission from everyone’s parents. Something good had to come out of the shitty week, she figured. As she had reminded her students, life worked according to its’ own plans.

Her mind often wandered back to Gwilym, and the sheer thought of him was enough to bring a rosy flush to her cheeks. He had been the total package: good looking, good job, kind, sweet, interesting, and an excellent lover. One of the nights she couldn’t fall asleep due to the millions of thoughts in her mind, she had used the image of him that was burned in her mind to touch herself and eventually bring a release she had ended. It wasn’t quite the same as the real deal but it got the job done. She cursed herself for not at least getting his number. But maybe the universe had a plan in store for them too. Doubtful, she knew, but not impossible.

“You guys were all so great today!” Y/N beamed at her students as they said their final goodbyes to Deacon, who they had fallen madly in love. Deacon had given them all some love, showering them with his little kisses. It seemed that she had won him back over, and it made her happy to know that she had at least someone back on her side.

“Bye Miss L/N, bye Deacon!” Johnny waved at her with a big grin on his face as his mother and father picked him up in the late afternoon sunshine. She gave them a wave as Deacon gave a bark and wagged his little tail furiously.

Slowly her students trickled away with her their parents and caretakers. Soon, it was just Y/N and Deacon left, sitting on the swings and swaying slightly, along with Jenny, who had yet to be picked up. Y/N was worried as more and more time passed and no one came to pick her up. If it was much longer, she decided, she’d take her home herself to make sure she was safe.

“Do you think I should call your parents, Jenny?” she asked as the little girl played in the grass with Deacon who had taken a special liking to her. Jenny shook her head as she petted him, not wanting to leave.

After a few more minutes, some loud footsteps approached and a familiar voice called out, “Jenny! I’m so sorry I’m late, love bug!“

Y/N thought her jaw would hit the ground as she looked at the man who Jenny eagerly ran to. He leaned down and scooped her up almost effortlessly in his arms before kissing the top of her head. Y/N was speechless as she stared shamelessly, cursing (or maybe blessing) the universe and its’ plans.

Gwilym seemed to suddenly became aware of the situation as he stared at Y/N, a bemused smile played on his soft lips. The two of them wordlessly stared at each other for a few moments before Jenny squirmed out of his arms and dragged him over to Y/N and Deacon.

Deacon, being a traitor, ran up to Gwil and gave him a few little barks, pleading for pets which he gladly obliged.

“This is Miss L/N,” Jenny tugged on his arm and pointed at Y/N who was sure her cheeks were a bright crimson by now, “and this Deacon. We took him for a walk!”

“Did you have fun, Jenny?” Gwil asked as he mussed her hair before turning his attention back to Y/N.

“Yes, Uncle Gwil,” she giggled, letting go of his arm as she returned to playing with Deacon. The fact that she had said Uncle Gwil instead of daddy made her feel slightly better. Sleeping with a student’s father would have been mortifying. Uncle wasn’t great, but it was slightly better.

“Hi,” he said as he leaned against the swing set, a smile on his face as Y/N stood up, unsure of whether she should run away or stay. Despite her best efforts, she gave in and a smile worked its way onto her face as she returned his simple greeting, “I’m so sorry I’m late. My class ran late and traffic was an absolute bloody mess. My brother, her dad, asked me this morning if I could get her, he’s at a meeting this afternoon. Don’t worry, I don’t have any children of my own.”

“It’s not a problem,” she said as she cast a look at the little girl and dog playing happily, letting out a slight sigh of relief at his confession, “Jenny’s an absolute sweetheart. Don’t tell anyone else, but she might be my favorite student of all time.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” he gave her a wink as he looked her up and down, “I never took you for a primary school teacher. Let alone my niece’s teacher. What a small world it is.”

“Life is strange in a lot of ways, isn’t it?” she laughed lightly, a sound Gwilym decided he already liked, a lot, “it’s not a job most people would like, but I do love my job. I can’t say that about a lot of things, but that is true.”

“It’s important to have things we’re passionate about,” he agreed, running a hand over his stubble. Like you he thought as she watched her closely. She hadn’t felt his mind much his week, and he had been determined to find her somehow. He just hadn’t expected it to be quite this easy.

“I’m sorry about the other morning,” she lowered her voice so Jenny couldn’t overhear, “I shouldn’t been so short and run out on you like that. On top of it all, I stole your shirt!”

“And I still have your panties,” his voice was low as he leaned in to whisper in her ear. All the little hairs on her body stood on end as she felt the familiar tingling start in the pit of belly. He had her easily turned on, in the middle of the afternoon, in the park with her student right there. But he knew exactly what he was doing, “the black lacy ones. I’m inclined to keep them for myself, but you can have them back on one condition.”

“And just what would that be?” she bit her lips as he watched her closely, taking a fraction of a second to touch a gentle finger to the corner of her mouth. She wished they were alone, somewhere private where she could just have him in that moment. He had come smartly dressed in a suit, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a watch on his wrist, just a smidgen of chest hair exposed from the undone buttons of his shirt. He had no right looking that good.

“Let me take you on a date...a proper date,” he put a hand under her chin and tilted her face upwards so she was forced to look into his ocean eyes, “what do you say?”

She had a moment of hesitation as she considered saying no. Saying no might have been the proper thing to do, especially given the fact that he was a family member of one of her students. But she was already sure about Gwil. There was something in her mind that told her he was the lone good choice in the string of mistakes she seemed to have been making lately.

“Yes,” she agreed with a smile, putting her hand over his and relishing in his soft touch. It was her turn to lean in and lower her voice for only him to her, “but you can keep the panties. I’ll keep the shirt if you don’t mind. I wore it to bed the other night, thought of you while I was wearing it and touch-”

“Uncle Gwil!” Jenny ran back over to them, and they pulled apart quickly, the two of them blushing like school children. He cleared his throat as he turned his attention back to her, “I’m hungry! Can we get ice cream? Maybe Miss L/N can come with us!”

“I don’t know about ice cream, love bug, your mummy would probably not be happy with me,” he laughed as crossed her arms and pouted at him. It only took a few moments before he sighed and gave into her, “fine, we can get ice cream. But, it’ll be our secret, okay? Miss L/N, would you like to accompany us?”

“I’d love to,” she held back a giggle, “but I have to get going as well. I need to take Deacon home and get him some dinner too. But I promise I’ll see you on Monday morning, Jenny.”

“Have a good weekend, Miss L/N,” she waved at her before giving Deacon a last hug goodbye.

“Indeed, Miss .L/N,” he said with a cocked eyebrow, “perhaps I’ll get to be a part of that weekend?”

“We can see,” she teased him before pointing at his pocket, at the large phone shaped bulge, “but you’ll probably need my number first, don’t you think?”

“Ahh,” he said as he handed her his phone, and she quickly entered her number, giving herself a call so she’d have his number as well, “you won’t be as hard to track down this time.“

“I have a feeling it won’t be too hard at all,” she leaned down and called for Deacon to come over to her, scooping him up in her arms, and giving his pointy nose a kiss, “have a good evening Gwil.”

“You too,” he opened his mouth to say something else, but Jenny quickly dragged him away, yelling excitedly about ice cream. She watched him go with a wave before letting out a long sigh. What a small world it was indeed.

As she started to drift to sleep that night, Deacon (finally) back her side, her phone buzzed, indicating that she had a message.

Her face broke out in a grin when she saw that it was from Gwil.

Gwilym: To go back to our conversation from earlier, I thought of you too when I was in bed the other night. Not as good as the real thing, but it got the job done. Used those little lacy panties to clean up the mess.

PS - just so I don’t come off as total sleaze, I really do want to see you again. On a real date. Dinner tomorrow? No nieces, no dogs, just us.

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singledarkshade · 4 years

Text

Come With Me If You Want To Live

Part Four Miranda let out a soft sigh as she cuddled close to Rip who was sliding his fingers through her hair. She’d missed him so much, missed talking through theories with him, missed falling asleep in his arms and missed waking in the morning to his smile.

“This will work?” Rip murmured, “Won’t it?”

She chuckled, “If we follow Gideon’s orders, it will.”

Rip sighed softly, “I’ve missed you.”

Miranda turned and kissed him. Rip pulled her close again, sighing in annoyance as a knock came on the door.

“Captains,” Gideon called from the other side, “I am sorry for the interruption, but I cannot soothe Master Hunter back to sleep. Even though I have tried everything the books have told me to.”

Rip laughed, sliding out of bed he quickly pulled on the pyjama bottoms before heading out to find Gideon looking more than a little put out. Miranda pulled on the top half of the pyjamas and followed on. Gideon had removed the baby monitor Rip had sitting on his bedside cabinet before they went to bed, advising them that she would be watching over Jonas all night so there would be no need for the monitor while she was here.

Heading into Jonas’ bedroom, where the little boy was sitting, screaming with big fat tears rolling down his cheeks. Rip scooped their crying son up into his arms and tucked the little boy against his chest. Walking the room, Rip bounced the boy gently while he sang softly to him. Jonas’ cries lessened. Rip took the bottle Gideon offered him and began to feed the little boy.

Soon Jonas was fast asleep again.

Gideon tilted her head in confusion turning to Miranda who smiled as she watched Rip gently rest Jonas back in the cot and cover him up once more. Turning he motioned them all out the room, so they didn’t wake their baby.

“I tried to carry, and sing to him, so I did not have to disturb you both on your first night back together. He would not calm, and he would not take the bottle even though he was obviously hungry,” Gideon said annoyance in her voice, “Why did it work for you and not me?”

Rip shrugged, “I have the gift.”

Gideon frowned at him as Miranda chuckled softly.

“My voice is deeper and not synthesised,” Rip replied, wrapping his arm around Gideon and giving her a hug, “It’s the vibrations that calm him, not the singing.”

“Don’t feel bad, Gideon,” Miranda rested her hand on Gideon’s shoulder, “At least you had an idea how to soothe him. I didn’t.”

Rip hugged her, “You will, you’ll learn just as I did.”

“You should both return to your bed,” Gideon told them, “I shall continue to monitor Master Hunter.”

Rip smiled, “He should sleep until morning now but thank you, Gideon.”

“Goodnight, Captain Hunter,” she smiled, “Captain Coburn.”

Effectively dismissed, Miranda took Rip’s hand leading him back to bed. Even if Gideon was right and could ensure the Time Masters didn’t discover them, Miranda was not wasting any time with her husband.

*********************************************

Sara grimaced as she stepped out the small vessel Gideon piloted onto the surface of the planet. The air was heavy with red dust and she was relieved Gideon had ensured Sara wore a breather before stepping onto the surface.

She looked around the world she was suddenly on. Sara had seen a lot since the Queen’s Gambit had gone down but never had she thought she would be on another planet.

After the Mirakuru incident, the League believed she was dead thanks to Nyssa, and she moved to Central City to start a new life. Getting a job in the gym, Sara picked up her college courses hoping, once she finished them, she would know what she wanted to do with her life.

The apartment she’d found was nice, close to her work and the college, as well as her mother.

The day she moved in she’d found Jonas sitting in his doorway watching her carry boxes from the car, he was so cute and inquisitive that Sara instantly fell in love with the little guy. Rip was another matter. Sharp, defensive Sara took a while to get used to him, but they warmed up to one another as she came to understand he was so defensive because he was a single parent whose wife had abandoned him with a child, and they became friends.

It was the biggest victory in their friendship when Rip asked her to watch Jonas for a few hours. Everything that was happening was just insane, but she couldn’t not help stop whoever was trying to hurt the little boy she adored.

“Where are we going?” she asked Gideon after a few minutes.

“The information I have,” Gideon replied as she continued walking, “Only gives me a general area. I shall be able to locate Captain Coburn once we are in closer proximity.”

Sara grimaced, “Great.”

“If you wish to make another suggestion,” Gideon noted without looking back, “I am open to them.”

Shrugging Sara followed the other woman, or whatever she was, towards the small collection of buildings in the distance. They’d been walking for about ten minutes when Rip called them for an update. Sara chuckled slightly as she listened to Gideon advise they were fine and basically telling him to stay quiet while they were on the surface. It was interesting to listen to her handle him, Rip was always a bit highly stung especially when it came to Jonas and Gideon obviously knew him very well.

“One thing has been bothering me about all of this,” Sara spoke up after they’d walked a little more.

“Which is?” Gideon glanced back at her.

“Why have Miranda leave him?” Sara asked, “Why not let them think she was dead? It’s more permanent.”

Gideon nodded, “My hypothesis is that they felt if Captain Coburn did contact Captain Hunter after he believed she was deceased he would instantly take her into his life again. A miraculous return by someone he loved and who loved him. But if she left him, with an infant son…”

“There would be mistrust if she reappeared. Rip wouldn’t listen because all he’d remember would be her leaving him and their son,” Sara shook her head angry at the thought, “These Time Masters are devious bastards.”

Gideon tilted her head, “Yes, they are.”

Reaching the outskirts of what Sara realised was a small town, Gideon pulled out what looked like a phone and started to tap a few buttons.

“Should I ask?”

“Captain Coburn will have her wedding ring with her,” Gideon explained, “It is made of a metal that I can track, even through the interference.” Gideon returned to studying the screen and focussed on a small building at the edge of the street, “Follow me.”

Reaching the building Gideon stopped again and turned to Sara with a frown on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I am now getting a conflicting signal from the other side of the street,” Gideon explained, irritation in her voice, “Honestly, the pair of them are too smart for their own good sometimes.”

Sara sighed, “So, what do you suggest we do?”

“We check both domiciles,” Gideon told her, “You take this one and I shall check the other. Be careful. Captain Coburn is as well trained as you are in hand to hand combat. Plus she picked up Captain Hunter’s tendency to have at least one hidden knife on her.”

Not quite sure what to say to that piece of information, Sara simply nodded.

“Call me if you need me or if you find Captain Coburn,” Gideon ordered before she left Sara alone staring at the door.

Wishing she had any of her weapons on her, other than the taser Gideon had provided before they left the ship, Sara opened the door. The inside was dark, but she could hear someone moving around. Focussing on her surroundings, the way she had been trained to do, Sara stepped inside.

Moving slowly Sara’s senses were heightened but she was somehow taken by surprise from behind as a body collided with her. Being thrown forward Sara reached out and managed to stop herself on the wall. Spinning she saw a figure standing, small and wrapped up she couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman. The person attacked again, and Sara barely managed to get out the way but was struck a moment later. She blocked several more punches, but her attacker knew this place better, and possibly had a way to see in the dim light forcing Sara to lose ground backing her into a corner.

Her attacker closed in and Sara grabbed the taser, since they were now close enough, but she miscalculated. Before she could use the taser, her hand was grabbed and the only weapon she had was thrown across the room.

“Captain. Stop,” Gideon’s voice snapped from nearby.

Sara took a slow breath as her opponent stepped back, removing part of her mask revealing a woman. From the small part Sara could see of her features there was a familiarity to the woman.

“Gideon?” she demanded angrily, “What are you doing here? Your orders were to find Rip and Jonas, to get them to safety.”

Gideon stepped forward, “And I have, Captain. They are onboard the Waverider waiting for you.”

Miranda let out a gasp of relief at Gideon’s reply. It had been a long few days as she hid from the Time Masters, desperately hoping that Gideon was able to find and protect the two people Miranda loved more than anything. Who she hadn’t seen in three years.

Turning to the woman watching them she asked, “And you are?”

“This is Miss Lance,” Gideon answered before the other woman could, “She is Captain Hunter’s neighbour and friend. She insisted on coming to help protect your son.”

Hearing the rebuke and warning in Gideon’s voice, Miranda nodded to the blonde, “Thank you. And sorry about attacking you.”

“No problem. And it’s Sara.”

“Miranda,” she reciprocated before turning back to matter at hand, “Gideon, where’s the ship?”

“Just outside town, Captain,” Gideon replied, “We should go now unless you need to retrieve anything?”

Miranda motioned the pack she wore on her back, “I have all I need.”

“Then we should leave now,” Gideon told them, “We cannot remain in orbit for much longer.”

Nodding Miranda motioned Sara to follow Gideon while she took the rear. After retrieving the taser Sara started out the building and Miranda followed on knowing that she would see them soon.

They walked back to the ship in silence, Miranda wanted to talk to the blonde woman who had come with Gideon to find out exactly what her relationship was with Miranda’s husband and son. But in all honesty, she was too scared to ask.

Reaching the jumpship, Miranda took her seat next to Sara as Gideon slid into the pilot’s chair.

“Captain Hunter,” she said as the ship began to ascend, “We’re on our way back. Captain Coburn is with us.”

Miranda frowned that she didn’t get to hear his reply, to hear his voice but it would only be a few more minutes and she would be with them once again. Watching the planet that had been her refuge for the past few days Miranda felt relieved to be leaving. A few moments later, as the sky turned to black, she saw the ship waiting for them.

She’d be able to hold her baby in her arms again soon.

Rip stood on the bridge waiting for his wife to be brought back onto the ship. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, wasn’t sure of anything anymore other than Jonas was all that mattered.

“The Jumpship has now landed, Captain Hunter,” Gideon’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “We will join you on the bridge in a few moments.”

He nodded before adding, “Thank you, Gideon.”

Taking long slow breaths to calm his nerves, Rip watched the doors waiting for them to open. Finally, after what felt like forever, the doors opened, and Rip saw her standing there.

Dressed in several layers and covered in red dust, her long black hair fell around her face as she stared at him.

“Rip,” she breathed.

As Miranda neared him, Rip automatically took several steps back. At her hurt look he shook his head, not sure why but not able to close the gap between them.

Miranda stared at him, “Rip, I know this is confusing for you.”

“I remember you walking out,” Rip said softly trying to temper the anger that was surfacing, “I remember holding Jonas while he sobbed reaching for you as you left us. You left your son.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered sadly, “Rip, I didn’t want to leave you but when they found us again, we had no other choice. Druce told us the only way to protect Jonas from the others was to alter your memories. At the time, we still believed that he gave a damn about us and it was the only way to protect Jonas, to protect our son.”

Rip shook his head, “I don’t remember Druce or anything about the Time Masters.”

“Do you remember me?” Miranda asked softly, “Do you remember how much I love you?”

“I know you did,” he replied, “Once.”

Miranda closed the space between them and rested her hands on his chest, “Always.”

Looking down into her dark eyes, memories stirred, slow and nothing he could grab a hold of, but his hand slowly moved to stroke her cheek.

“We’re together again,” Miranda whispered, “And once this is over, we’re going to be a family.”

Before he could say anything, Miranda’s lips touched his. Without thought, Rip pulled her close as their kiss deepened.

In another part of the ship, Gideon smiled to see them together once more.

#fic #legends of tomorrow #rip hunter #gideon #miranda coburn #sara lance

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pointlesstypedwords · 5 years

Text

Stormy Weather (Daryl Dixon)

Pairing: Daryl DixonxReader/OC Summary: Daryl and OC have a bit of a complicated relationship, but work well together on runs. While on a Run a storm hits and they are forced to take shelter in an abandoned shed... Word Count: 3,555 A/N: Long Tumblr user, first time tumblr fan fic post. I want to get back into writing fan fiction a bit and have had this stored on my computer for a while, it’s not the best but I wanted to do something with it. Feed back appreciated if anyone stumbles across this, I’ll take requests if anyone wants to ask. I do not own the gif used, credit to the original poster.

With a single exhale her breath caught the cold morning air, lingering for a moment before it wisped away. Normally Robyn would have admired the sight on a morning walk through the suburbs. She loved the way the early morning sunlight shine down through it with. It made her feel refreshed for the new day, but on this particular day it was a bitter reminder of how cold and dreary it truly was. And that was not just with the weather.

So much had changed. Life had all but been turned upside down, but they were still hanging on, even if it were just by a thread.

Thunder rumbled out from somewhere in the distance, making the world seem to go still for a moment, almost as if it were shocked. A sudden flight of birds flocking out from somewhere in the tops of the trees brought it all back into motion.

Robyn raised her rifle, something that had all but come as a muscle memory movement in recent times, and trailed after the birds, looking for a target. Once she had found a target in the scope, she fired off a single round and watched the bird fall limply to the ground in the field across the road from where they had stopped for the night.

“The hell you doin’?” Robyn heard a disgruntled voice come from behind her sounding as if they were still in a daze from waking up. And not much to her surprise she turned to see Daryl pulling himself up off of the ground from where he had fallen asleep the night before. “You tryin’ to bring every walker down on us?” He snapped, picking up his cross bow and taking his normal intimidating stance.

Robyn let out a light laugh, suddenly feeling a strange amusement at the site; she had come accustomed to Dayrl’s morning grump that almost seemed ever present at times. “I’m multi-tasking actually.” She corrected him, lowering her weapon and adjusting the strap of the gun on her shoulder. “I’m trying to draw every walker near by to us, catch breakfast and wake you up because you’re burning daylight sleeping in like that.” She grinned before turning to the clouds. “The thunder should confuse them. We should be alright until after we’ve eaten.” Robyn flatly before she turned towards the direction of her fallen target, which she hoped, would be enough to fill the both of them.

Daryl scolded at the woman as she walked away way through the thin layer of brush that hid them from the road. He then shook his head and turned his attention to the large grey mass above them that was almost hidden by the overhanging trees they had camped under the night before. She was right about the thunder throwing the walkers off, he could hear a low grumbling in the background, but he still didn’t think taking the risk to eat was worth hanging around to find out.

But he was hungry and didn’t want to argue with her because it would be on going until they had both finished eating. In other words, Robyn was very good at multi-tasking and would use the time bickering to cook as well. How she had managed to do it in the past still confused Daryl to this day.

Thinking to himself, Daryl had to guess that this was about their tenth or eleventh run with one another in the past month alone. Rick seemed to think that there was something lucky about the two going out on runs together because they got what they needed and did it quickly. Daryl on the other hand knew it was because they worked well together, despite the constant bickering. It was a love-hate relationship, but they both worked together in their own way to get things done as quickly as possible. At first Daryl had thought it was because the two could not stand each other, which was true at first but in time he had come to care for Robyn and admire the way she used her mind to come up with ideas that he would never had thought of. She also didn’t take any shit from anyone. There was just something about her that he could not put his finger on that kept him awake at times or where his mind drifted towards her. But he was also found something extremely frustrating and annoying about her as well. At times he wished he had just left her with the squirrels in the woods.

Daryl had been the one to find Robyn and bring her back to the prison almost six months ago, perhaps even more now. He had been hunting, thinking that he was alone and then all of a sudden there was a gun being held to the back of his head. Robyn had been broken off from her group for about two weeks at that time and was so desperate for food that she had contemplated killing Daryl for the few squirrels that he had. But somehow he had some how talked her out of not killing him for his squirrels and they had ended up at the prison after he had asked her the three questions. Lucky for her, her answers had passed both Daryl and Rick’s approval.

How many walkers have you killed?

Too many to count

How many people have you killed?

Five.

Why?

To protect my family, friends and myself. Survival.

By the time Robyn had gotten back from the field and managed to track down the bird she had shot out of the sky, Daryl had packed up what ever they had used to make their camp and had started a fire to cook. It didn’t surprise her, but still she wasn’t going to acknowledge it.

“Here, make yourself useful.” Robyn said with a grin as she threw the limp bird at Daryl. She wasn’t sure what sort of bird it was, but it looked like some sort of duck.

Daryl caught the duck against his chest and shook his head, automatically pulling at a few of the feathers and inspecting the bird. It was a good hit, a clean shoot and the bird looked healthy. It didn’t take him long to prep the bird to cook over the fire, which wasn’t as big as he would have liked it because of the wind but it would do. The bird also wasn’t that big, but it was better then nothing, it was a decent meal for being out on a three day run. Something to keep them going for the time being.

As Daryl prepped the bird, Robyn looked away; she couldn’t bring herself to look. Even though she had been the one to shoot it down, she could not bring herself to cut an animal open if she could avoid it. It was an odd fear to have for someone who had extensive medical training as she was a nurse and had been raised by a hunter, but the fear it was still there none the less.

“You know for someone who can hunt as well as I’ve seen you do, you’re a wimp.” Daryl said through clenched teeth as he held the knife in his mouth while pulling out the feathers from the bird.

Robyn forced herself to look up just to give Daryl a filthy look, even though she knew it was the truth. She could shoot things all day long, but when it came to cutting in to an animal, she couldn’t do it. She just didn’t have the stomach.

Daryl didn’t take long to gut the bird; it was roasting on the fire and filling the air with mouth-watering scents in no time. But, much like predicted it was not enough to fill their stomachs, only enough to take the edge off both the hunger and their short tempers.

Picking the remains of the bird from his teeth, Daryl paused for a second, glancing up at the sky. The low rumbling in the distance made his brow rise before he turned to Robyn frowning. “Big Storm is on the way, we should try to find somewhere to hold up.” He said lowly, lazily gesturing to the darkness in the sky that was slowly creeping closer.

Robyn looked up from the pack she had been stuffing their things into and sighed as she realised how quickly the clouds were moving. “You don’t think we can make it back before the storm hits, it still sounds pretty far away.” Robyn stated, trying to sound hopeful, but the look on Daryl’s face made it vanish quite quickly.

“No I think it will catch us and it’s better to be safe rather then sorry. It should have blown over by the morning, maybe even sooner if we’re lucky.” Daryl said flatly, pulling his leather vest on and moving towards the bike.

Robyn watched the man and let out a heavy sigh in disgust that she hoped Daryl would hear and smiled as Daryl rolled his eyes, climbing on to the bike. As much as he was rough around the edges, she did like the man, but she just wanted to get back to the prison. Their run hadn’t been that successful, they had only found a few things like some paper and crayons for the kids and an assortment of clothes, but it didn’t even half fill the pack they had brought. She just wanted to go back home, not that the prison was much a home in the first place.

Slinging the pack over her shoulder, Kayla let out yet another sigh and climbed on to the back of the bike behind Daryl, wrapping her arms around him and then waited for him to bring the bike to life and start off down the abandoned country road.

As they rode along the empty, partly over grown road, the wind started to swift, causing the bike to zig zag slightly over the road, no matter how hard Daryl gripped the handle bars to keep the bike steady. The rain had hit, spitting down on them like miniature bullets, soaking them right down to their toes and leaving them shivering.

The wind blew against them so hard that it was growing difficult to keep their eyes open and watch the road; Robyn had hidden her face on Daryl’s shoulder to avoid it. Leaves, sticks and dirt also blew around along with the rain, making it more dangerous by there second.

Not a lot scared Daryl, but mother nature was at times a little intimidating, he knew it was getting worse and they needed to find shelter soon because the storm was catching up to them, but they were surrounded by nothing but overgrown grazing fields. He kept his eyes on the fields though, searching for any type of shelter, he wasn’t going to let anything happen to either of them on this run, especially considering how much of a failure it had turned out to be.

As something came up in the distance, Daryl felt a sense of relief as he spotted a small, but sturdy looking building that they could ride the storm out in.

“There’s a shack, I’m pulling over!” Daryl yelled over the howling of the wind rushing past them and the roaring of the engine of his bike.

It took him a moment to get the bike to turn against the wind, but eventually made it through to the seeming over grown track that had been reclaimed since someone last drove up to the building in the distance. After one last burst of speed, they were in front of the building and climbing off of the bike.

Daryl examined the building as they came to a stop, it didn’t look big to start off with, but now it just looked smaller. It was clearly just a storage shed that had run down from lack of upkeep and being exposed to the elements, but he doubted that they would find anything better right now and they needed something. He quickly turned the engine off and waited for Kayla to climb off before walking to the front of the bike.

Robyn wasn’t fussed where they stayed for however long they had to wait the storm out, from the looks of the shack; she had had worse since everything had turned to shit. She had actually spent the night in a dumpster once in the beginning after her car had run out of fuel and she was on her own. Not exactly the most appealing thing to sleep in, but it was safe at least. “I’ll get the stuff, go see if it’s clear.” Robyn told Daryl who was unhooking his cross bow from the front of the bike. Daryl simply nodded and disappeared around a corner, walking slowly with his weapon at the ready. Robyn pulled the pack on her back and held the rifle in one hand, her knife in the other as she slowly followed Daryl around, though jumped as she rounded the corner, seeing the man walking in her direction, looking a lot more relaxed then how he had first ventured past the corner.

“Bloody hell, you almost scared the shit out of me!” Robyn exclaimed, shaking her head as she let out a sigh, just thinking how he was lucky she hadn’t shot or stabbed him.

Daryl looked at the woman as if she were insane and shook his head. “Keep your guard up.” He muttered, taking the rifle from her. “It’s empty, there’s some shit in there but it’s old, but there is a can of beans.” Daryl said, sounding a bit more positive then before.

“Mmm, I wonder if they are still alright. The last can we found had white fur in it.” Robyn said with a laugh, following Daryl as he led the way into the shack.

It wasn’t the biggest of buildings, but there was more then enough room for the both of them with the old shelving units and old abandoned tools as well. The ground was dirt but it was dry and the shack was sealed from the wind, there were a few holes but a few old rags and the wind was no longer whistling through. It was obvious that someone had used the shack as a shelter before them, but Daryl had stated that they were long gone.

They ate the beans whilst attempting to dry off, at least the shack was sealed against the wind and rain. Every so often there was a gust of wind that made the entire shack creek, but it seemed it would hold.

Even though it wasn’t exactly the safest of options, they attempted to start a fire but were unsuccessful because nothing seemed to want to light. Robyn could tell that Daryl was growing frustrated with nothing to do but wait, but everything just seemed to fall silent. At least they were not arguing and had semi filled stomachs, the beans and the bird had hit the spot for the time being.

After about forty-five minutes of sitting with her legs up against her chest, Robyn moved and let out a sigh. “How long do you think until it blows over?” She asked, looking up to the roof and listening to the storm battering away outside.

“No way of telling.” Daryl grumbled, picking at the chipped piece of wood he had found on the ground.

Robyn stared at Daryl and rolled her eyes, at times she enjoyed how blunt he was, but in others she wished he could at least try and humour her. “It’s a good think neither of us are claustrophobic.” Robyn said in an attempt to pass the time by and get a conversation flowing, but as she only received a grunt in response from Daryl.

“You smell like a drowned rat.” Robyn said, this time taking on more of a plan of attack, both to see if this was the way to get Daryl to talk to her, or to just amuse herself to fill in the time.

“Shut up.” Daryl snapped, narrowing his eyes at Robyn and then turned away. He usually didn’t care what anyone said about him, but he didn’t appreciate the way Robyn had said it.

“You shut up.” Robyn responded, with a bit of a coy smile, as she was glad to finally get a word out of him.

“You’re the one who started talkin’!” Daryl sat up; glaring at her as he noticed that she was smiling. His tone took on a bit of a nasty turn, which he had not intended, but was also glad that made her look away and frown. He didn’t want to upset her, but he didn’t enjoy being insulted for her amusement.

Silence consumed the inside of the Shack once again and Robyn knew she had turned the tone sour with what she had said. It seemed like an eternity until one of them even blinked, let alone moved.

Robyn could feel the boredom eating away at her, she knew she was going to have to apologise for her cheap jab at Daryl before he would talk to her. “I’m sorry.” She said, looking over at Daryl in his corner of the shack.

Daryl simply looked at the woman in the other side of the shack and gave her a stiff nod, though didn’t walk, meaning they were left in silence again.

Robyn didn’t know how much time had passed since she had last spoken to Daryl, but she was woken by a crashing and saw a figure of Daryl running at the window with a tarp. “What the hell is going on?” She asked, getting to her feet and pulling up the rifle.

“Something hit the roof, things are getting rough in there, hand me that old tarp so I can cover this thing.” Daryl said urgently, gesturing to one of the shelves.

Robyn looked to one of the shelves and saw the tarp Daryl was looking at, she pulled it from the box and then passed it to him, standing there like a clueless idiot as he fixed the window so the storm would stay outside.

“That should do it.” Daryl said a moment later, stepping down from the box he had been standing on, though he almost fell on to Robyn, making them both stumble slightly.

Robyn wasn’t exactly sure what happened but Daryl was falling on her one moment and the next his arms were around her and his lips were on her own, just gently and only for a second before they pulled away.

Daryl pulled away, almost shocked in himself at what he had just done. He knew he liked Robyn, no matter how much of a pain the arse she was, but he didn’t think he liked her that much and by the look on her face she was as shocked as he was.

“Sorry.” Daryl mumbled, feeling his cheeks begin to warm.

“No, it’s alright, I just wasn’t expecting it..” Robyn said with a nervous laugh and scratched the back of her neck, looking up at him, though she knew an awkward silence was about to fall over them again. Daryl only nodded as she told him how she felt.

“I miss being close to someone…” Robyn said suddenly, saying the first thing that came to her mind that was somewhat relevant. The kiss had reminded her what it was like to have someone who actually cared about. “I miss my family…” She said a moment later, looking as she twiddled her thumbs.

Daryl looked at the girl and let out a sigh, grumbling as he moved to get more comfortable. “I’d say the same but my family were arseholes..” Daryl chuckled to himself as he shook his head. He did miss Meryl in some ways, but he also didn’t.

“Mine weren’t.” Robyn said grimly, looking towards the window.

“Lucky you.” Daryl said dryly, looking away, he felt somewhat embarrassed.

“Yeah, I was.” Robyn said, looking to Daryl for a moment. “Did you at least have anyone close?” She asked curiously, ignoring his slightly aggravated bashful behaviour.

“Not really.” Daryl said, running his tounge over his lips as he looked to the roof where the tarp was holding, but only because the storm was starting to die down.

Robyn nodded, taking in what Daryl had said. “What about me? Do you think we could be close?” She asked, a small smile coming to her lips.

Daryl looked at the woman and sighed. “Maybe.” It was possible.

“I think we could. You just kissed me after all.” Robyn pointed out, laughing to herself as she was enjoying how she had managed to make Daryl Dixon blush without even trying.

“Shut up.” Daryl snapped, once again glaring at her.

“Well it’s the truth.” Robyn said quietly, grinning at him.

Daryl took one looked at Robyn, shook his head and then once again, placed his hand on her cheek and pulled her closer, though this time he wasn’t as gentle. He had had enough of the woman’s torments and if kissing her was the new solution to shutting her up when she was playing at one of her games, then he would carry on doing it..

#daryl dixon #twd daryl #the walking dead #twd #daryl #daryl x reader

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tangent101 · 6 years

Text

Life is Strange: Aftermath

Here’s the start of a fanfic I’d started several months ago. I have to admit I kind of paused working on it because I ran into a small problem - while Max and Chloe will talk to me, I’ve got no real idea as to Ryan and Vanessa’s character. I’d written a little further in but cut that part out, especially as it’s dawned on me that it’s quite possible the Caulfields live in a condo or an apartment complex, which would alter how the home would go together (and I’ve gone online to see what apartments in Seattle look like - quite cramped in fact! and I rather like the idea so...) anyway, I hope you all enjoy this snippet of story. And feel free to tear this apart, offer suggestions on how you view Ryan and Vanessa, and the like. I know I’d had some... odd twists in mind for the story, though I might hold off on them as I’ve other stories brewing as well. Anyway, enjoy!

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Aftermath

We'd been driving up for hours.

Well, I say we. But I was the one behind the wheel. Max just... sat there staring out the window as the world passed us by. Just staring since we'd passed through the devastation of Arcadia Bay, until finally she'd drifted off to sleep. I only-- I only stopped once, when we passed a body while driving through town. Someone had draped a blanket over the body. The blanket couldn't have been caused by the storm. It couldn't be. But there was nothing, no one else to be seen.

It hadn't been even an hour since the storm, that huge tornado, ripped through our hometown. In all the movies, there's a rainbow that appears after the storm passes but I didn't see one. Okay, I didn't exactly look very hard. I have to admit I was scared of what else I might see. More bodies... Mom. Hell, even step-douche. I might detest him but I don't want him dead. Especially not after he saved Max – or, at least he did in another timeline, one where... the road blurred before me and I scrubbed my eyes free of tears.

For all the devastation, my pickup was somehow untouched. The house... not so much. I didn't dare go in, not even to try and grab clothes or anything. What if using her powers to save me causes another storm? It's time to stop taking stupid risks. Time to grow up.

Well, okay. I'd also stopped for gas an hour ago as well, though Max never opened her eyes when I asked if she needed a pee break. I felt nervous leaving her alone but I really needed to go. I locked her in, more to keep her safe than anything else. But she hadn't stirred when I came back.

Was I selfish? Asking Max to go back in time, to let me die? How many people died? Is there anyone left? How can I live with this? How can Max? But... but she's been through hell. She told me I'm all that matters to her, that she wouldn't trade me for the lives of Arcadia Bay. I don't deserve it. I am selfish. I put Max through hell. I put Mom and step—my stepfather through hell. Yet Max chose me.

She loves me. She truly loves me. And me? I don't know. I'm so confused. It's so easy to say I love her. She means everything to me. I thought I loved Ra-- Rachel. This doesn't feel the same. I just know I'll always be with Max. Forever.

So we're going home. To Seattle. I didn't ask Max. She's just slumped against the corner of the seat, her face turned toward the passenger side window, which barely reflected her face in the darkness. Yeah it would be great to just hare off, go to San Fransisco... or Portland even... but not yet. Our phones are useless lumps right now. I think they got soaked during the storm or something. I know Max's parents have to be freaking out, worried sick for their daughter. Word's got to have gotten out about Arcadia Bay. And Max... after this shit week I think she needs something ordinary.

I glanced over at Max. Her eyes were still closed, the full moon illuminating her pale face, as did the lights of southbound traffic. It would be so nice to just pull over at a truck stop and curl up with her. Just sleep. But it wouldn't be too much longer. I didn't want to wake her but... I'd memorized the route to her home once, going through Tillamook and then heading north until I picked up Route Five. I wanted to just go on the road, track her down. Ask her why she'd left. And then she came back on her own. She returned to my side. I'd be lost without her.

I reached over to her, taking her hand in mine, and she started, her hand clenching mine hard as she gasped. "Chloe?" Her voice cracked; my heart breaking at the fear and isolation echoing in her voice.

"I'm here, Max. We'll be home in another hour I think. I've never been to Seattle before," I said, keeping my voice steady. She'd been there for me. I had to be there for her now.

"Home? Wha--?" She sounded so sleepy and confused. Aww Max, shit. I had to resist pulling over and kissing that precious face... oh, fuck it. The truck tires vibrated as they hit grooving in the pavement and I came to a stop. She looked confused and then startled as I slid over and pressed my face to hers, smelling my body wash on her. She'd stayed with me after we told... after we'd turned in her art teacher, Mark Jefferson, the bastard responsible for so much shit including the death of Rachel Amber. We hid in my family's house to stay safe. I'd teased her and joked I was going to join her in the shower. And we'd even shared our second kiss while on my bed. That felt like it happened ages ago, not just yesterday.

My face burned as my lips brushed hers and I felt her arm around my neck, pulling me close, her lips pressed against mine, her teeth nipping at my upper lip for a moment before I pulled away, smiling at the light that'd returned to her eyes. We hadn't kissed back at the lighthouse when she'd torn up the photo, eliminating any chance of going back to let me die. It hadn't been the right moment to kiss her. Not after the storm.

I'd held her close, sheltered her from the storm, watching as it ripped my-- our childhood home apart. I'm just so happy to be with her. When I'm with her my anxieties just... fade. I felt heat radiating from her and a barely-heard "wowser" had my lips quirking into a grin. I barely kept from laughing. Wowser. Oh girl, when I get you into bed I'm going to wowser you alright. No, Chloe. No. Take it slow.

I let out my breath, why had I been holding it? Oh yeah. Kissing. No, not now. "Yeah, home. Unless your phone's working again. Gotta tell the Caulfield Clan I'm making an honest woman outta you. And they're hella worried, I'm sure."

"Chloe!" I could hear the blush in her exclamation. Don't let her dwell on the past. Of course I could start kissing... no, down Chloe. I squeezed her hand and then forced myself back to behind the wheel. I put the pickup back into gear and pulled back onto the highway, glancing over to my partner with a smile.

"I'd always wanted to do this, you know," I said. I looked back at the road, my eyes sadder. Lights from northbound traffic left light sweeping over her face, reminiscent of the lighthouse. "I know I gave you grief over never writing. I could have as well. I just... I didn't know if you still wanted to be friends. So I kinda came up with this plan. Track you down. Confront you in person. Ask-- ask why...."

"Chloe, I'm sorry," my heart clenched in my chest at the pain in her voice and I glared over at Max.

"No. That's in the past. I'm sorry. I coulda written too! Or something. It wasn't fair to blame you. But... I did want to visit so..." I trailed off as I squinted in the distance, a green-and-white sign coming into view along with the red signs warning of road construction. Yeah, right. When is it not road construction season?

"It's two exits," Max said, leaning forward and squinting to look at the upcoming sign.

"Thanks, partner. I don't know what I'd do without you," I said back, letting my right hand drift from the wheel. After a moment I felt Max take it into her own and I had to remember to breathe again. Why am I so happy all at once? And scared?

We stayed like that, a quiet word back and forth, holding hands, until finally the exit approached. I gave Max one last squeeze and then reluctantly pulled my hand away, our fingertips lingering for one last moment before I returned my hand to the coldness of the steering wheel. There was still traffic despite the late hour, the moon high in the sky; it had to be approaching midnight.

Max was leaning forward now, watching the road, and I could sense her growing trepidation as we left the main roads and started to travel through the suburbs. I made sure to travel under the speed limit to give her more time to catch landmarks, no matter that I just wanted to get us there. Finally I took my hand off the wheel again and grabbed her hand as I heard her start to hyperventilate. "It's okay, Max. Are we about there?"

"Yeah. Just... take this right..." I turned right and then following her cues took the next left and then three streets down a final right. I'd never have found it on my own when I was 16. I'd have been circling through Seattle's streets forever. 50 years later, old me would eventually run into old Max and we'd laugh our asses off over my getting hopelessly lost... "...it's just ahead."

#life is strange #fanfiction #fanfic #lis #max caulfield #chloe price #lis: aftermath #my posts #my fiction

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magess · 7 years

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Burn - 6x16 coda

Theo keeps driving. If they’d been followed, he’s fairly sure he’d have seen headlights trailing them into the twilight. Liam’s exit strategy, such as it was, called for looping back before leaving the zoo to gather up whatever camping gear they could salvage and heading to the woods make real use of it, to give the hunters a false trail and the impression that they’d found the whole pack and let them slip away. Theo hadn’t managed to salvage much. Just a few sleeping bags and pillows. But the rest of the idea seemed sound.

Better than running back to Scott’s house, anyway.

He doesn’t bother with a signal as he turns off the road onto a trail into the woods. Doesn’t bother with the headlights either and lets his eyes go gold as he looses enough of the coyote to see by the stars. Liam doesn’t say anything—hasn’t said anything in quite some time, but he doesn’t sound like he’s asleep. The trail peters out into nothing, and Theo puts the truck into park and cuts the engine.

He lets his eyes shift back and relaxes for a moment against the seat, listening to the tick of the motor, the crescendo of cicadas, and the distant calls of owls. He waits for any signs of a following car, acutely aware of Liam having turned to look at him. Even in the darkness, he could tell from the shush of his hair against the vinyl seat and the sound of his breathing.

“C’mon,” Theo says, opening his door. “Get the stuff out of the back.”

They hadn’t prepared a campsite, so he has to gather sticks and bust a thick branch off a tree to snap into useable logs. Liam kicks around through the undergrowth searching for stones to ring a campfire with. It’s a nice gesture, not setting the Beacon Hills woods ablaze. Theo looks up from trying to get some leaves to catch on fire, grunting from the darkness having caught his attention. He frowns and catches sight of Liam’s glowing eyes weaves in and out of view, shadowed by trees. His heartbeat is rapid, and something drags on the ground.

“Liam!”

“I got it.” His voice sounds labored.

Theo scowls and holds a leaf over the flame from the lighter again, shoving it among the others when it flares.

In the new glow of an anemic fire, Liam surges into view dragging a fallen tree. He huffs, trudges another step, and drops the trunk near the fire, dry side up.

“We have wood,” Theo tells him, glancing at the thing while he tries to feed small sticks to the hungry flames. Catch, catch . . .

Liam’s voice comes back acidic. “It’s a seat,” he says, and drops down onto it with an exhausted sigh.

“Oh.” He concentrates on the fire. “Good idea.”

Liam puffs out a breath, not exactly a laugh, not exactly a scoff. Then he folds forward, clasping his arms around his knees, and watches while Theo works.

It’s a bit . . . infuriating. Being watched. Feeling like he’s being judged while being watched, because he was never a god damned Boy Scout, so what do you expect? Only Liam isn’t saying anything. He’s just watching, even though Theo can feel his attention like spiders up his arms.

The campfire cooperates eventually, settling in to consume some of the larger logs with a steady, orange yellow glow. It crackles and pops, hissing as the sap evaporates. The woods are alive around them. This is what the end of summer feels like, Theo thinks, though he has no childhood nostalgia to fall back on. His memories of the woods hold different things.

He snaps a piece off a twig and tosses it into the flames.

From the corner of his eye he can see Liam lift his head from where it rested on the arms crossed over his knees.

“Why do you keep helping me?” Liam asks.

Theo glances at him. “Why do you keep asking?”

He expects a sneer, a narrow-eyed look of disdain at his deflection. But instead, Liam’s brows pull together, thoughtful, and he looks at the fire. Theo’s heart lurches, suddenly afraid that he’s spoken too close to the truth, exposed a spot too vulnerable.

Because you keep asking.

After a moment, Liam says, “You’re different, since . . .” He hesitates. “Since you got back.”

Theo arches an eyebrow at him and can’t stop his pulse from quickening. “If you say so.”

He’s tried not to think about it. Tried not to do much thinking at all, except when strictly necessary. Eat, sleep, see another day. Maybe in that order.

Liam turns to look at him, pensive and searching, and Theo doesn’t know what he expects to find. Isn’t sure if Liam turning back to stare at the fire means he has or hasn’t found it.

They fall into a silence raucous with sound. Things move, birds call, insects chitter and chirp. Even dull human senses know it’s a noisy sort of quiet. A new log starts to catch fire, sending up sparks and a new series of snaps.

Liam’s voice comes out soft and tentative. “What was it like?”

Theo’s fingers pause on the twig he was about to break. “What? Hell?” He looks over, Liam’s features sharp and gold-leafed in the firelight, and sees him nod.

By inches, Theo’s gaze tracks back to the fire. What was it like? His eyes fall shut. What was it like . . .

He shakes his head in the smallest of gestures. Not a no, but a not again. Because if he opens that door, if he looks, once, behind . . .

He shudders, and he inhales air that smells like solvent, tastes like bleach and metal. His own breath rasps so close in his ears.

His heart thumps. Thumps thumps thumps. Faster. Harder. He knows this place, the taste. Oh God.

The feel of her fingers ripping flesh, cracking bone.

Thrashing. Convulsing.

Thumpthumpthumpthump.

“Theo!”

Liam grips his arm, and Theo’s eyes flash open. He jerks away on instinct, panting as cold sweat slides down his spine. His stomach quavers, and for a moment he can’t even feel the heat from the fire anymore, just the pressure of his heart thudding hard beneath his ribs. Liam holds his hands up, frowning with worry, and Theo sucks in a breath slowly, counting. Slowly, out.

If he turns toward the heat of the fire, it won’t feel like shame across his face.

“I, uh—” His voice breaks a little, and he presses his eyes shut, willing himself under control. “I woke up,” he manages, voice low and steady, “in the morgue. In one of the drawers. I didn’t know where I was, couldn’t see. I’d break out, and the place was empty. Abandoned. Except . . . for her. My sister.” His gaze drops to his hands. “I could hear her. Calling me. Taunting me. She—she would hunt me down and rip out my—” He pauses, guilt and bile building in his throat, tightening to an ache. “Her heart. With knives. Or—or fingers. Slow, so I could feel every fiber as it tore. And as soon as I was gone, I’d wake up again, just as terrified.” He pauses, unable to stop the flood toward his eyes and the thickening saliva across his tongue. “And then I’d remember what was coming. How much it would hurt. That no matter where I hid I couldn’t stop her, nothing would stop her. And that it would start all over again.” He blinks, and the flames blur in his vision. His lungs ache and throat burns. “If I did really well, I could get a few more minutes between the terror and the dying.”

And then he falls silent, staring into the campfire, too full of memory.

Liam gazes at him, frowning. “You deserved to be punished,” he says, and Theo closes his eyes.

“I know,” he replies, whispering the words. “I think that made it worse somehow.” He shakes his head, and the fire must be burning low because chill creeps through his clothes and cross his skin. “But you can only take so much torture before you need it to stop. You'll give anything to make it stop,” he breathes. “But there was nothing to give. No bargain, no sacrifice. It was just . . . endless.” He glances up at the dancing flames and smiles as a tear trickles out. “I couldn't even get numb to the fear. It was just as bad, every time.” He exhales heavily, and in the smallest voice. “And I remember every time.”

Theo looks over at Liam, meeting his eyes. “That's what you saved me from.”

Liam swallows and turns away with a scowl. “I didn't do it to for you.”

“I know.” But Theo cannot help the gratitude grafted to his bones any more than he can change the need for air. “I don't care if—” He shakes his head, casting the words aside. “It doesn't matter if you hate me. You'll always be the one who pulled me out.”

An unfamiliar sensation surges through his chest and up his throat. His eyes cloud with tears again, and he picks up a twig to roll between his fingers. “Who made it stop.”

His hand shakes as he tosses the stick at the fire and lowers his head.

Liam is silent for a long, long time.

Steady heartbeat. Steady breathing. And silence.

It is, Theo thinks, all he deserves.

And then there’s the scrape of denim against bark. And Liam’s leg is pressed up next to his, his hip, his arm.

A breath shudders into Theo’s lungs and he realizes he’s spent the silence crying.

A hand presses to his back, between his shoulder blades. He shivers and fights an instinctive flinch, then focuses on the feeling of warmth, gentle and soothing. It's the only touch Theo can remember that didn't come with pain. He had parents once, but the memories are too far, too obscured by scars. Something shivers and crumbles inside at that realization, and he leans into Liam with desperation clawing at his stomach.

He should feel shame at the way he seeks him out. Pressing his nose against Liam's cheek and pausing to breathe, nuzzling against him, an exposed wire of need. Theo pants, might still be crying, feels the soft fabric of Liam’s shirt beneath his hands. He stills, heart hammering, when Liam runs his fingers into his hair, holding him steady. He doesn't shove him away. Doesn't draw him closer, either. And for a few moments Theo just breaths into the crook of Liam’sneck. A sense of safety filtering into his senses.

Eventually, trembling a little from the cavernous absence of emotion, Theo pulls back, hiding his face as it blazes with shame.

“Sorry,” he mutters, feeling stupid. Childish. Like he should disappear.

Liam frowns at him with a look of confusion, and shifts over to make space. “I . . . I didn't mind,” he says, as looks as shocked to say the words as Theo feels hearing them.

He smiles weakly. Liam looks away to stare at the fire.

“We're not friends,” Liam says after a time. Theo's shoulders tighten. “But . . . I won't threaten to put you back there anymore.”

“Thank you.”

Liam nods once. “You deserve three broken noses,” he says, tone lighter.

“Yeah.”

“Ten!”

“I know.”

“A hundred!”

“I know, Liam. Thank you.”

Liam grunts and folds his arms over his knees again, resting his chin. “Good. Cause I'm counting.”

Theo casts a sidelong glance at him, unsure what that means—what happens at the end of a hundred. He watches the light play across Liam’s face. “Let's just try to live that long.”

#teen wolf fic #liam dunbar #theo raeken #hurt/comfort #emotional #6x16

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a-punk-and-her-horror · 6 years

Photo

((Pathfinder: The Crimson Saber’s journey part 14 - The town of the recently dead))

“DOG, GET IN HERE!

Riki-teefs voice rang through the darkened tavern as Kiruto quickly moved to join her “why, what's the big issue...ohh...”

Riki-teef quickly rummaged through her own bag to find a scroll of healing, not being aware of the poison yet “Riki cannot afford to let lizard die, lizard is only one Riki can tolerate!”

“Are you sure it isn't because of the whole clause thing where if any of us die, you'll be put to death?”

“Sure, sure, that too. Go wake up Zizi!”

Kiruto nodded as he moved to Zizi's room, slowly pushing the unlocked door open to find him still asleep, and his bag open. Deciding against checking the bags contents while the owner was still asleep, Kiruto tried his best to wake up Zizi, to no avail.

Meanwhile, Riki-teef quickly finished using the scroll, as Kheevee's eyes slowly opened, and she crawled out of the blood-soaked blanket.

“...Is it morning yet? Why do I feel wet, was there a leak in the roof?” the kobold muttered as she patted her body slightly, bringing the blood to her nose as her eyes widened.

“Wait, this isn't....” She said in surprise, her gaze quickly turning to Riki-teef.

“It's your blood, and before you ask, Riki did not do this!”

“...Well I know that. If you did it, I doubt you'd have left me alive.”

“Exactly!”

“Then who did...” Kheevee questioned as pain shot through her body, her hand moving quickly to where she was stabbed.

“Some winged draconian! It came for Riki too, and Dog!”

“And Zizi, and our new friend?”

“Riki does not know, Riki has not checked yet, Dog went to check on Zizi! More to the point, why does Lizard seem weak still?”

“...Well I did lose a lot of blood...” Kheevee muttered as she looked down at herself.

“No, no, the spell took care of that, there must be something more...” Riki pondered as she went to examine the sheets, looking for any trace, before looking back to where Kheevee was stabbed.

“Very interesting....”

“What did you find?”

“...Riki suspects Lizard was poisoned! Rest may help for now, but Riki will also try to find something to help...”

As this was going on, however, Zizi was finally stirred from his sleep by Kiruto.

“...What is it? How did you...”

“Your door was unlocked, and judging by the dent in your armour, it would seem you had the same visitor we all had...”

“Dent? What are you...” Zizi quickly felt at his chest-plate, before his eyes moved quickly to his open bag.

“I trust you didn't...”

“You know I wouldn't do that.”

“If not you, then...” Zizi huffed slightly as he got to his hooves “RIKI-TEEEEFFF!”

Riki-teef's ears perked up as she hid under Kheevee's bed, shouting loudly “RIKI DID NOTHING!”

The two tiger's ears perked up at the loud shouting, as they nudged at Annette to wake the half-elf up. She slowly got to her feet before moving to Kheevee's room along with Zizi and Kiruto.

“What the hell happened to you?” Zizi said out loud as he looked to the weakened kobold.

“Apparently I became a red-scale...” Kheevee quipped back, trying her best to make light of her situation “I hope a bath is on the cards soon, I don't want scale-rot...”

“She was stabbed...” Kiruto quickly replied as the two tigers moved to circle Kheevee. “Um, miss? Can you tell your tigers not to lick me please? Apparently I was poisoned, so my blood might make them sick...”

Annette sighed as she called the tigers back to her, while Zizi looked around the room “So where did Riki-teef go?” Kheevee quickly looked around, noticing her rat friend had vanished. Kiruto however spied her tail swishing under Kheevee's bed, yet decided to remain silent.

“I don't think Riki would have stolen anything...” Kheevee quickly replied “Well, okay, maybe she would, but not from you. I doubt she wants the sack again.”

“Then who would...” Zizi muttered as he placed his bag on top of Kheevee's bed, away from her blood, as he checked it's contents.

“Maybe the assassin? Riki-teef said it was a small winged draconian...”

Zizi paused slightly “I bet it was that thing that tried to stab me earlier after the fight...”

“Well if it is, it shouldn't have gone far, since I did wound it...” Kiruto quickly replied as Zizi stood up straight and marched out of Kheevee's room “...you're going to want to hunt it, aren't you?”

“We all are. The bastard's stolen the statue.”

Kheevee quickly looked to the bag, then to Zizi “If I wasn't feeling so groggy, I'd point out this makes two keys...”

“And if you wasn't so injured already, you'd be in a sack for that.”

“Duly noted...”

“Right. You three, stay here. Kiruto, you're with me. You got your guns with you?”

“Of course.”

Zizi nodded as the two moved to head downstairs “Also, why are all the lights snuffed out?”

“Well he was an assassin, maybe he didn't want to be detected so easily....”

Kiruto's words were cut off as the two observed the scene before them. Several patrons of the bar, and even the bartender, all lay sprawled out in the room, their necks cut wide open. Zizi quickly checked the kitchen, before looking back to Kiruto “same thing here too. This guy works fast...”

“Or there's more than one...”

“That's the last thing we need...” Zizi sighed as he moved outside, the rain still heavily pouring down as the mud splattered underfoot “And his tracks are going to be gone too, great... We're going to need the others...”

Zizi reached for the war horn at his waist, giving the horn a heavy blow as the others shortly joined them outside, Kheevee still limping slightly from her injury “Are you sure you need us all?”

“Well would you rather remain inside alone?”

“...No...”

“Then you and Riki-teef take the southern gate and keep an eye open. Annette, you and your tigers take the northern gate. Me and Kiruto will patrol the wall, see if we can spot anything. Keep your wits about you all though, something tells me it isn't just the tavern that got hit...”

The group split up to their designated spots, with Kheevee and Riki-teef finding the southern gate still open, with the guards dead at the gate. With Kheevee still weakened, Riki-teef ordered her to get somewhere safe as she drank a potion of spider climbing, before scaling a nearby building. Kheevee meanwhile cast invisibility on herself, only to realize the rain was still giving her position away, causing her to move back to the tavern's slight overhang over the main door.

Annette meanwhile arrived at the northern gate, finding the way locked, as she waited for Zizi and Kiruto, who caught up several minutes later.

“Anything?”

“Gates are locked. Unless it flew, it's still here.”

“And the town?”

“Dead bodies all over...”

Zizi nodded slightly before looking to Kiruto “Meet back up with Riki-teef and Kheevee, they're going to need some help. Annette, patrol the area, see if your tigers can catch a scent.”

As the two left, Zizi shuddered slightly before a noise caught his attention, causing him to lean back just in time as a pole arm sank into the wood next to him. In the distance, on a rooftop, he saw the figure. Smirking to himself, he slammed his fists on his chest, as if challenging the assassin, as he dodged a couple of arrows fired in his direction. Disgruntled, the figure fled across the rooftops as Zizi decided he'd need to catch up with the others.

As Kiruto made it back to the gate, he found it abandoned, until a weak voice called to him through the rain.

“Here, in the doorway! My spell wore off!”

Kiruto turned back to the tavern to find Kheevee waving towards him “Where's Riki-teef?”

“She went up...”

“Up?”

“I would have looked up to see where exactly, but my everything hurts...”

Kiruto nodded before turning around “I guess she's on the rooftops then, unless she somehow gained wings...”

As the two waited for the others, Riki-teef continued to scamper across the rooftops, trying to find the culprit herself, before quickly dodging to the side as the figure dashed past her, it's knife missing her as it continued on “Come back and fight, coward!”

The figure turned to sneer at Riki-teef before leaping down from the rooftop into a nearby alleyway, only to find himself surrounded by two tigers. “Looks like I found our assassin then...” Annette chuckled, yet before her tigers could attack, the figure fled past them and out the alleyway as Riki-teef leapt down from the rooftops.

“What's the matter? Too scared to stand and fight a rat?!?”

The figure turned quickly to fire an arrow at Riki-teef, missing narrowly as Kiruto and Kheevee caught up. Realizing it would be best to wait for Zizi, Riki-teef continued to insult and taunt the figure to buy some time.

“Riki feels sorry for your mother, must be hard knowing you gave birth to a rotten egg!”

Another arrow flew towards Riki-teef, this time embedding itself into her shoulder. Without even missing a beat, Riki-teef pulled it out before any effects could take place.

“Riki-teef, insult him in Draconian, it'll sting more!”

“Lizard has had a good idea for once!” Riki-teef said with a large grin before looking back to the figure, shouting in Draconian “Riki has caught worse diseases from dwarves than your poison!”

The figure quickly turned tail, running past Zizi as he finally caught up, giving him little time to react to try and grab him.

“Zizi, you missed!” Riki-teef shouted before her attention went back to the arrow “Poisoned, but a different poison...”

“Um... If it's fine with everyone, can I make a suggestion?” Kheevee raised her hand weakly as the others looked to her “Can we go back to the tavern, all stay in the main room, close the doors and windows so it can't get in, and all get some rest? I think we could all do with it...”

The group looked to Kheevee before agreeing it to be the best topic, at least until the rain stopped. As they made it back, they set about securing the building, with Zizi moving the bodies into the kitchen before sealing the entrance as Annette lit the fire. With everything closed off, the group settled down for the night.

As morning broke, Kheevee slowly pulled herself out of the nest made from blankets, moving to meditate next to the fire as the others checked the situation. Noticing the rain was still heavy, they decided to wait one more day, with Riki-teef preparing potions and vials while Zizi and Annette explored around the town for any supplies or ideas, eventually coming across a stable with both a couple of alive horses, and a wagon big enough for the whole party.

Annette took care of the horses, keeping them calm and friendly to the two, while Zizi fixed up the wagon to the best of his abilities. Meanwhile, Kheevee found herself a bath pan and soap, and cleaned the blood off her scales. Riki-teef meanwhile was testing the poisons she had obtained, looking for a potential cure to help the kobold out. After a few attempts, Riki-teef approached Kheevee.

“Lizard feeling better?”

“A bit, but still kind of achy...”

“Drink this then!”

Kheevee looked to the potion with curiosity, before quickly drinking it down “Well, okay, I trust you won't be up to something...”

“If Riki was up to something, Riki would have done it when lizard was at her weakest!”

Kheevee nodded as she began to tidy up the room, some colour returning to her scales as Riki-teef took notice “Riki should make more in case...”

As another night passed, and day broke, the group found the rain still falling hard. Zizi sighed and looked to the rest.

“Right, we can't keep camped up here, we have to move. Let's get to the wagon and get out this town, try and track down that assassin.”

“What makes you think he isn't here still?”

“We've been here for two days with no further attacks, he's moved on...”

Kheevee nodded before adding “Plus if any other guards come and see a town all dead, and find us alive, they might think we did it...”

“Riki cannot go back to jail! To the wagon!”

The group proceeded to move quickly to the wagon, fastening it to the two horses, before making their way to the northern gates.

“Still locked. Should have seen that coming...”

“Well, what do you propose?”

“Maybe there's a mechanism?” Kheevee questioned as she looked around “Not seeing one though...”

“You don't need one, you got me...” Zizi said proudly as he exited the wagon, as he moved over to the gate and grabbed at the large metal bar keeping the doors locked. Slowly, he began to lift the bar up over the supports before moving it to one side.

“There, and...open!” Zizi shouted as he gave the doors a hefty shove.

No movement.

“...Let me try that again.”

Still no movement.

“Um, given the rings on the door, I think it's a pull door...”

“Oh, I knew that...” Zizi quickly grabbed one of the rings before trying to pull the door open, to no avail.

“...How did humans ever get this open if I can't?”

“They probably had a team to do so.”

“Right... Axe time” Zizi grinned as he swung his axe down on the door, causing some damage, but not enough.

“This is going to take forever...” Riki-teef whined before getting out of the wagon and moving to the gates “Let Riki do this!”

Zizi raised a brow as he watched the Rat-folk approach, pulling a small item out from her bag “And what are you going to do that I couldn't....wait, is that a bomb?”

“No, stupid!”

“Oh...then my question still sta...”

“It's many bombs!” Riki-teef proclaimed loudly as she began to set up several bombs at the door. Zizi wisely made his way back to the wagon before moving it to a safer distance while Riki-teef moved to a secure area before tossing one lit bomb at the rest, creating a chain reaction that not just opened the gateway, but obliterated the two doors completely.

As the group continued past the town, Riki-teef could not help but continuously remind the others of her feat, an act that carried on into the next day, until the group came across a stone bridge.

“Wait. I smell something...” Zizi muttered as he squinted at the bridge, as a troll began to emerge from the darkness. Kheevee gulped as Riki-teef quickly went into stealth mode, as the kobold gave the rest of the party mage armour.

As Zizi and Kiruto moved to engage the troll, it pulled back its massive claws, and brought them down onto the horses, killing both with a single swipe to each, with one of the horse's heads hitting Kiruto in the chest. Annette quickly used her wild shape magic to take the form of an owlbear before joining the combat with her tigers, as Kheevee brought down a scorching ray atop it's head.

Riki-teef, in the confusion, quickly drank a potion of monstrous visage, deciding the form should be a troll as well, as she moved into combat, with the troll quickly falling to the group effort. As the group relaxed, Riki-teef spied the troll corpse and let out a loud roar to Zizi.

“The troll fat's Riki's! Move!”

“Did you just give me an order?”

“Riki is bigger and stronger now! Move!”

As the two began to wrestle, with Kiruto trying to break up the fight as Zizi quickly got the upper hand, Kheevee and Annette, now back in her normal form, went back to the wagon to see what they could find within.

Kheevee was the first to find several die, and out of boredom began to try and spin them like small tops. Amused, Annette joined in with Kheevee's game, allowing the two to bond for the first time. However, something still bugged Annette. A deep feeling of hatred still filled the half-elf as she looked at the kobold, but not she began to question just exactly why....

#ooc #pathfinder #Kheevee #Kobold #Crimson Sabers

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hopefulstoryteller · 7 years

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Gaia Novum: 3021/ Chapter 1

“He who wields a pen is a God in his own work.”

“Guards, Guards! Arrest them, they’ve murdered the Oracle! The Oracle is dead!”

The sound of splashing water fills the air of the dark alley. The panting of a little girl, struggling to get away from the sounds of gun fires and fighting. Each shot echoes in violent rhythm, filling her with panic and fear. She runs, running is the only thing she could think of. Rain falls through the darkened, night sky, but she pays no mind, no, she would run until she couldn’t run no more. There at the end was the garden, a place of refuge, hopefully still true this night.

January 21, 3018

Eyes wide open and gasping in freight, she slowly wakes up, light peering in from the cracks of the boarded windows. She slowly gets up from her rugged sleeping bag and is met with the unwelcomed embrace of the cold morning air. She curses under her breath, “Just let me forget already.”

She gets dressed in her rags and cloak then sets out to the pond to wash up. As she opens the door and enters in the bitter cold of the morning. Breathing in the cool morning dew she looks and sees that not many people are out yet. She makes her way to the pond and splashes water on her face, shivering from the icy feel. Looking into the pond she sees her reflection looking back. She has her mother’s eyes, slim and stone grey. Her hair short and dark red. Slim yet also lightly built, many would say that she is beautiful, however, she does not care. No, such things such as love and beauty is petty and trivial in the world she lives in, for she lives in a cruel world and a sad life as of far. Novus “Nova” Anno, daughter of the late Oracle, within five days would mark her twentieth birthday. Although she is no stranger to this life, no, this life of running and surviving has begun since she was merely eleven years of age. “Gift of memory you say,” She says to herself, “What a cruel gift.”

She finishes washing up and goes into town. She walks into the market and heads to the fruit stand, buying three apples for breakfast with left over jackrabbit pelts she had from last night’s hunt. Nova walks to her shed to get ready for another hunt or maybe even see if there are any bounties at the pub. It has been quite some time since she has stayed in one town for so long, two months really. The town fitted most of her needs, quiet, small, plenty of game to catch nearby, and it is remote. Far away from the capital or major cities with strong Legionnaire presence. Other towns she had less trouble with encountering the Legion and more trouble with the people, mainly the rich local politicians spitting on those below them. During her time travelling around the country she could never find a place to settle down in, however, when finding the town of Briedon she was enchanted with the quiet and simplicity of the town, she decided to stay as long as she could.

Pondering on what to do for the day she hears on a TV in one of the stores window and its news brought her cause to stop in her tracks.

“Today we see that the Haelion Legion sets out to the Middle Plains in honor of the Legion’s near eighteen year anniversary marking the end of the War on Dispute and the world unification of government under the Legion. For those of you tuning in from the Middle Plain region expect to see the parades of the Legionnaire at noon going along through Briedon, Illestria, and Kykry. The Parade will end in the city of Herous-Cain, the once rebellious kingdom in the War on Dispute, in the city square. A speech will be given to mark the end of the bloody war and the unification of the Legion.”

Some of the townspeople talked about the matters, “The Legion is coming here? I never thought they would begin the parade so early? It’s really not until five days!”

“Right? Usually they wouldn’t send the parade to the lands of the last kingdom either, because of all the riots from the old citizens. Guess a lot really can change in just eighteen years, seems like just yesterday I heard of the last kingdom’s fall.”

Another townsperson pitched in, “It may be true that this be odd to start the parades early, but it’s also odd to be waging war against the gods themselves.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous those were just rumors!”

The man raised his hand, calling for patience, “It’s true! Why else would these be the strange weathers and storms around the world? The chaos of it all and the bolstering of military and weapons even when there are no nations to conquer? It all points to the gods.”

“Yeah, and why would the Imperator want to go up against them?”

“Have you learned nothing from history? Although populations throughout Gaia Novus is rising back to what it was in the Age of Ill, remember that before we even had Oracles, the gods stuck down on the makings of man. Cutting down of forests, polluting the air, even nuclear waste. Imerator Sidona even spoke out years after the last Oracle’s death that he would expand the lands to benefit the people, but of course the Gods wouldn’t so easily agree with the methods used.”

“Well then why not just get a new Oracle?”

Crossing his arms and slinking back in his chair, “It’s not that simple. The becoming of the first Oracle she had to prove herself worthy and get the blessing of the Kings and Gods, since there are no more kings no one really knows how to even prove worthy anymore, no one even knows how to now.”

“Too damn confusing if you ask me. But besides the fact, I heard another rumor as to why the Legion is coming here. I hear from my buddies in the capital that the Legion is coming for Pyrium, the Goddess of Fire!”

One of the men shoved him playfully, “Don’t pull my leg!”

“No really! They say that she has been called and spotted here in the Middle Plaines! Going around lighting the hearth of poor they say.”

In the midst of all this Nova realizes how long she has been standing in the same spot and looked around to see if nobody noticed. She hurried back to the shed to plan of what to do next. Should she run, hide, or stay hoping she won’t be found anyways? She was filled with fear, anxiety, and even sadness, not only from hearing such news but also in hearing of the Oracle’s title being spoken of after all these years. Her late mother, much mystery shrouded around her sudden death, but Nova can think not of it, but only of the pain in losing her.

She makes it to her shed and made sure she wasn’t followed or was being watched. Quickly she gathered all of her things and stuffed them in her rucksack. She grabs her dagger, and short blade then arms herself where needed. She places the knife in her makeshift side holster and hides it under her cloak; she does the same with the short sword but in the opposite side. She grabs all of her belongings and alters the shed to show no traces of her presence there. Once she finishes, Nova then stands idly by the door. She thinks of her options then thinks of the situation. The Legion is coming into town for their supposed “parade,” however, that wouldn’t mean that they’ve tracked her down or even come for her in the first place. Even if that were the case, she wouldn’t want to risk being exposed on the off chance that they somehow found her. Then what was all that talk of the Legion coming for Pyrium earlier? “No matter”, she thought, “It doesn’t concern me nor do I care.”

Nova opens the door, but stops before leaving. She looks around the room one last time to remember this brief time of peace in her life of running. She looks away and leaves with haste.

She walked briskly to the end of town and could hear cheers and marching. As she had feared, it was too late to leave town. She looked at all possible exits and detours she could make, but all were being guarded. “Why guard exits in a parade?” She thought. Nova hid amongst the crowd, looking at the street to see soldiers marching and convoys coming through. At the end of the convoy she could make out a few tanks and looking up there were airships hovering above the town. Suddenly the parade came to a halt in the middle of the town and confusion swept through the masses. The cheers went on for a little while until dying down after moments of nothing went on. All stared in question trying to figure out why they had stopped. Nova scanned the soldiers to see what they were planning. Before she could even think about it, immense heat surrounded her and hot air blew through the crowd. She looked and saw that walls of fire had erupted around the whole town, denying any entry or exit. The soldiers broke from formation and raised their weapons. Nova thought that this must all be the doing of Pyrium, given the fire. She got her weapons ready and tensed up at the fact of being caged in with walls of fire with the Legion at her front. She continued to scan for the cause of the fire or even the Goddess herself, but then she realized that the guns were not readied for a fight, instead the guns were pointed at the crowd of people. Before anyone could respond, shots filled the air and then screams followed.

Chaos broke out as people ran for cover, but many were quickly murdered. Nova quickly dove for cover near the alley behind barrels, but some soldiers must have seen her as bullets were shot in her direction. She bolted farther down the alley and made a sharp right. She continued to run as fast as she can, but as she approached an intersecting path, hails of bullets flew through almost blocking the way past. It wasn’t until the firing stopped and saw as she passed on her right were piles of bodies who tried to get away. Forward she could see children running for shelter and behind them followed a skinny middle aged woman with brown hair, but bullets flew their way and the woman was hit. She fell to the ground and tried to get up, but only to crawl a few feet before rolling on her back begging for mercy. Three soldiers came up ready to finish her off. Nova began sprinting, readying her sword. As the first lined his shot, Nova dashed into his rifle, missing his mark, and her blade met his throat. She pushed his body aside and grabbed the second rifle by the barrel, pointing it towards the air, and kicked the third out of the way. Quickly, Nova sliced the third gunmen’s knee before stabbing the second and finishing the third off. Nova picked up the woman and saw the bullet wound went straight through her right side. “It’ll be alright,” She said to the woman, “let’s get you to safety.”

She props her up on her shoulder and helps carry her to the direction of the children. Shortly after moving down the alley, they find the kids surrounded by two soldiers pointing their guns at them looking ready to fire. Before the lady could make a sound, Nova leaves her by the wall and motions her to wait. She runs down the alley and grabs her dagger in a throwing position. She screams, “Get away from them!”

This directs the soldier’s attention on her, exactly what she needed. Nova throws the dagger at one, landing in the side of the neck. Immediately rounds get fired her way, but she runs to the right of the alley jumps onto the wall and launches off towards the shooter. Nova hits the gun down with the sword and slices upward, then she finishes off the other soldier with her dagger in his neck. The woman came limping towards them and Nova goes to help her. They quickly find a cellar door and the woman knocks on it in a particular code. It flings open and on the other side is a large, brown bearded man motioning everyone to hurry inside. As quickly as they can everyone files in, the door shuts closed and locked.

It is dark in the cellar, but it is lit with two lanterns. They lay the woman down on the floor then man sees the wound and is shocked, “My gods, Margarete!” he exclaims, “No, no, no, no why…”

“Please now Robert,” the woman says, “don’t scare the children.”

Nova looks over and sees that there are a dozen children, each visibly shaken, some shocked, most crying. Nova then looks at Margarete’s wounds, grabbing a lantern to get a better look at the damage. Blood seeping out slowly in large amounts. “I can fix this.” Nova says. She grabs her dagger and brings it closer to Margarete, but then Robert grabs her wrist. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asks.

Margarete strained to speak, “Robert stop! She saved me and the children from the soldiers outside. If she say she can help then trust she can!”

There was a moment of hesitation, “Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t be alive if not for her.”

Silence between them. Robert hesitates and looks at Nova then the dagger. He lets out a deep sigh and then after a moment Robert released Nova’s wrist. Nova looked at Robert for a second and then got back to the matter at hand. “Now I just need to cut open your shirt to get a better area.” She takes the dagger and carefully slices the white linen of Margarete’s blouse. She then lifts the patch up to reveal the whole area of the wound. “Get me clean water, quickly.” As Nova gave the order, Robert ran to another set of stair and went up cautiously. After a few minutes waiting, he returns with a bowl of cold water. Nova takes the bowl and looks at Margarete, “This is going to sting, and feel really cold. Are you ready?”

Margarete looks off into the distance hesitant then to the children. “Robert take the children away from us.” Robert stands by her side and holds her hand for a few seconds, then takes the children to the far end of the cellar. “Do it now.” Margarete urges. Nova nods and goes on to pouring the water around and at the wound site. Margarete clenches her fists tightly and some tears can be seen in her eyes. She grunts loudly, trying not to make a noise that the kids can hear. Once it is over she relaxes a bit and Nova looks at the wound site now more clean and visible. A clear hole can be seen and more blood begins to seep. Nova nervously brings her hands together, “Please still be there.” She says to herself. She then brings her hand together in a triangle shape over the wound. Green light then glows from her hands and the bleeding slowly comes to a stop. Margarete feeling uneasy from this arches slightly up off the table. Nova then curls her fingers in and clasps them together on the side. She brings them closer to the wound and tells Margarete, “Get ready.” Nova pushes down on the wound, Margarete yelps in pain then clench her fists once again. The wound begins to heal and close in on itself. This went on for a dozen seconds, but to Margarete it felt like an eternity, until finally the wound heals as if nothing had happened.

Margarete gets up from the floor and looks at her side. Green lights lingered briefly, and she touches her side carefully to feel good as new. She looked at amazement towards Nova, “Magic?”

Robert comes over to see that Margarete is well again and goes over quickly to her side. He examines the site of where the wound once was to see that it is gone. His face full of relief and surprise, he turns to Nova, but is speechless. Nova gets up from the ground and looks around. The cellar was dusty and almost completely made of cobblestone. Other than the wooden shelves and cardboard boxes lining the walls, she couldn’t see any visible escape routes. At the far end she could see some of the children hiding behind some boxes and shelves. “Are there any other ways out of town?” Nova asks, but neither Robert nor Margarete answered. “All that fire,” Margarete spoke, “I don’t know if you could get out even if you wanted, but where is all that fire coming from?”

Silence, only the sound of the children from the other end of the room could be heard. They could feel the grim tension in the room, so Nova tried to change the subject. “These children, are they yours?”

Margarete looked at her in confusion at first, but then realized she had been asked a question, “All of them? Oh dear, no, I simply watch after them. They are orphans, Robert and I run the orphanage in town. Many of their parents either gave them up or perished, unfortunately. Poor things, having to go through all this so young.”

“Right, I can relate,” Nova says to herself almost mumbling. They sat there further in silence, all afraid to even talk about what’s to come amidst all this chaos. From the time that goes by it seemed like minutes, what felt like hours, have gone by and Nova again tries to change the subject, “So I take that Robert and you are together then?”

There was a pause and both Margarete and Robert had blank stares. They looked at each other and then quickly away. Nova could see that their faces slowly turned red. “Robert and I? Oh no, we… we just are…”

“Associates,” Robert quickly adds, “We are co-workers at the orphanage.”

Nova raises an eyebrow, then she eases into the real matter at hand, “So the other people… why would…” Margarete raises her hand to stop her, “I do not know, no one does. Right now all I would fear is getting the children out safely, but… that fire… I don’t even know what to think at the moment, only that we must leave town.”

Nova nods and rises. They notice that it is somewhat quieter after they took shelter. Nova heads towards the cellar door, “I’m going to see what’s going on.” Robert stands, “Wait,” he says closing in behind her, “I know that if I were to follow you then I’d just get in your way, but take this.” He hands her a small white ear piece. “So we can stay in contact. Since you’re going out I want to know when it’s safe to leave, but with all this talk of fire… I think there might be a way to put it out.” He leads her to a wall with what seems to be a map of town. “I used to help with city engineering a while back, and if the piping is anything as it was before, then you should be able to overload the pressure in the weak spots. Here at the south west region.” He points to what looks to be a series of interconnecting pipes, somewhat smaller than the other pipes on the map. “All I know is that near the end of piping construction, when I worked for the town, expenses were short so compromise was made to use smaller, weaker pipes at the non-essential area of town.”

Nova examined the map further in detail, “How do you know they didn’t change the piping?”

“That region there hasn’t even been finished with construction, so most likely it’s still the same.”

Nova thought for a moment. Top priority went to putting out the fire to ensure an exit and second was to get out with Robert and Margarete. Time was wasting and so Nova quickly set for the exit. Before she could leave, however, Margarete stopped her, “Wait! Your name, please after saving my life… our lives, we must know your name.”

Nova hesitated for an awkward moment, but then turn towards her and spoke, “My name is Nova.”

Margarete processed it in her mind for a second and then smiled weakly, “Be careful out there Nova.”

Finally she set out through the doors. Slowly she peaked out to see if there were any soldiers and saw none. Nova then carefully exited and closed the cellar door hearing it being locked from the other side. Her ear piece buzzed to life, “Nova, Nova can you hear me?”

“I hear you Robert.”

“Good, listen, to get to the pipes you’re going to have to look for the pump controls at the center of the construction area there. There should be a sewer lid in the center of the construction site and the pipes shouldn’t be too far to your left. You can’t miss it.”

“Got it, I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

She quickly runs towards the construction zone as quietly as she can.

On her way towards the pipeline she encounter few resistance, but took them out quickly so not to raise attention. Not too long until Nova discovers the construction site, but patrolling the area are soldiers. The area is large and littered with partially built houses, all standing on their wooden skeletons. But other than the pre-built cobble road, the area was nothing but dirt, cement, and trenches in the ground. Taking a closer look at the trenches, Nova could see what seems to be some exposed pipes, however with all the soldiers patrolling, there was no way to the sewer lid without being shot. Nova stayed in the shadows planning her move, but could think of none. She was going to need a distraction of some sort.

Suddenly a loud explosion was heard in the distance shaking the ground and the buildings. The sky seemed to have a dark orange glow to it suddenly. The soldiers in the area responded swiftly as they all sprinted towards the cause of the commotion. As soon as the area was cleared out, Nova moved towards the center of the construction zone and looked towards the direction the soldiers have gone. She saw that over the buildings there was smoke and large amounts of fire at what seemed to be the town square. Shortly after she heard gunshots in the direction of the fire and after, columns of rising flames could be seen, burning brightly in their hot glow. The fire was so great that Nova thought that you could almost feel it from where she stood. She shook her head to snap out of her trance in the fires beautiful, yet violent, glow and pressed onward towards the sewer lid. Before she lifts the lid, Robert called to her on the ear piece, “Nova did you hear that, was that an explosion I heard? Because it felt really close!”

Nova responds, “That was definitely an explosion, but what caused it, I don’t know. It seemed to be coming from town square, but the strange thing is there’s more fire coming from there too. I don’t know what to think of it right now, but I’m at the sewer entrance, I’ll contact you when I find the pipe controls.”

She lifted the lid and saw leading down a few meters was the sewer floor. Climbing down she slowly loses sight of the chaos ensuing outside. The sewer is dimly lit with service lights every few meters. Water flowed through the center and the air is damp, however, it seemed surprisingly tidy in the sewers. Nova expecting to see rats and rubbish all around was surprised by this as well. She scanned the area and saw pipes leading down to the left side of the sewer corridor and remembered that Robert has told her that the controls should be immediately to the left. She follows the pipes and sees a panel of lights and valves as she turns the corner. She presses a button on her earpiece, “Robert I found the control panel. How do I work this thing?”

She waits a few moments for a reply, but no response. “Robert can you hear me? I made it to the pipe controls, I need instructions.” Still no response, “Robert!” She tries again and again, but still nothing. She sighs, it’s probably because of the concrete interfering. Thinking about how to work the pressure in the pipes she sees that there are pressure meters for four pipelines labeled P-1, P-2, P-3, and P-4. Looking at the meters she can only guess she needs to change the pressure in the pipes using the valves, but the question was which one? To the side she notices a map similar to the one in the cellar, and sees that the four pipes are labeled P-1, P-2, P-3, and P-4. On the map P-4 seemed to be the outer most pipe and if she could mentally compare the piping map with a map of the town then P-4 should be the exposed pipe that she saw earlier from above ground. Going off of this guess, Nova redirected the pressure of the other pipes to P-4. She first turned the valves counter clockwise and saw how the meters for P-1 through P-3 were reduced to a low reading near zero. She turned the pressure on P-4 way up and saw as the meter gradually rose, nearing the red zone. As it approached the red zone the valve became considerably harder to turn, soon after a red light appeared over the meter of P-4 followed by a high pitch Beep noise from the console. Nova ignored this and struggled to push the valve with all of her might. A few minutes must have passed until finally she heard a loud metallic noise from somewhere. She watched as the pressure meter quickly dropped out of the red zone as it very sluggishly lowered.

Nova ran to the exit and climbed the ladder back up. The soldiers were still gone, but the fires in the town square have died down. Looking behind her she saw that the water pipe has ruptured and is spewing water at the wall of fire, punching a hole in the blazes. Nova presses on the earpiece again, “Robert I did it, there’s an exit here in the construction area! Hurry before soldiers come back!” She gets a reply back but it sounds strange, “Nova!”

“I hear you Robert, I’m here.”

“Nova!” This time it sounds close and then she realizes that Robert is already there nearing behind her. She turns towards him and nearly gasps out loud. Robert seemed to have been badly beaten and injured. He was bleeding a little from his head and arms, bruises could be seen in some places as well. “Robert?! What happened to you, where is Margarete and the children?”

Struggling to speak Robert answers, “They took them, all of them! To town square, they found us hiding and I tried to fight back but… they took them and I couldn’t do anything! I should’ve fought harder, I- I…”

“Hey, enough. There was nothing you could have done.”

“Exactly, I SHOULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO, I–.”

“ROBERT!” Robert snaps back to his senses and remained silent, “Getting mad won’t help, I’ll go get them. While I do that, get out of here and wait for us by the forest. Go!”

Robert slightly nods then gets moving before quietly saying to her, “Give them hell…” Nova begins running towards town square, hands ready to draw her blades.

As she makes her way closer and closer towards the center of town she hears the crying of the children. Nova runs faster, nearly at full sprint before having to take cover behind a corner. She peaks over and sees the children and Margarete against a wall with rifles pointed straight at them. They are terrified, and before Nova could even comprehend the situation, a familiar voice was heard on a loud speaker, “Come out Pyrium! Your sense of honor must be lacking if you must hide yourself!” Nova could feel the air suddenly get hot. “We have hostages, reveal yourself now and they will not be harmed. I will not give you any further warnings.”

Another voice can be heard, echoing from the buildings and ringing in the air, “You dare speak to me about honor! You dare speak to me after killing hundreds of YOUR own PEOPLE! DAMNATION BE UPON YOU, YOU WHO WOULD SEEK TO SEIZE THE HEVENS WHILE POISONING YOUR OWN LANDS!”

There was a brief pause and then the loud speaker came on again, “I’ve run out of patience, kill them now.”

Nova didn’t know what to do. She saw the rifles steady ready to fire. On impulse she jumped out of her corner and screamed out. She swung her blade wildly slaying the soldiers before her, however, she wasn’t fast enough and the soldiers already fired off many rounds at the children and Margarete.

The air became scorching hot, blowing around Nova in a heated blaze. The light orange and warm as fire surrounded the family. In the midst of it all a woman is seen with long flowing hair, black as charcoal. She wore ornamental armor and robes, upon her were beautiful jewelry and accessories. She held a sword in her hand in the form of a gladius and her arms were stretched apart to shield the children and Margarete. Nova stood in awe staring at her presence. Pyrium looked back at her and then quickly the air, her face scrunched up in anger. In less than a second the Goddess was clothed in fire and her hair seemed to rage in flames as well, red and orange singeing in heat. She leaped in the air and swung her blade, destroying a tank shell that was flying forwards them. She landed and looked back at them, she spoke in a voice nearly made in flames as if she was speaking from the heavens and not directly in front of them, “Go now!”

Nova quickly grabbed Margarete and lead them away from the fighting. They ran a good portion of the way until Nova slowed, “Go towards the unfinished construction zone. There should be a clearing in the fire. Go towards the forest and hide, Robert should be waiting for you there.”

“But what of you? Where are you going?”

Nova shakes her head in regret, “I’m going to help the Goddess… Now go!”

Margarete hesitated at first, but then gathered the children and ran further down the alley. Nova now alone just stood there pondering on what it was she was doing. She curses to herself, calling herself a fool and ran off to help the Fire Goddess.

She returns to the square and sees that tanks and rifles were being shot at the Goddess without remorse. Pyrium danced in the air trying to dodge all the shots, but she still takes some hits. Soldiers advanced on Nova and so she began to defend herself. She gets hit by some bullets, but shakes them off because of her strong spirit. To her she feels only as if they were pellet guns. She dodges some of the shots and luckily blocks with her sword. She gets close to the first soldier and tackles him to the center, using him as a shield. In these quarters the soldiers begin to conserve their shots. Nova slices one in the center right as she moves left, pushing the gun out of the way as she strikes down. The soldier of the left she rolls toward, realizing that he has a clear shot on her. She places the flat of her sword against the barrel and pushes back. The soldier shoots three rounds, all not coming out, while Nova knee’s the gun out of his hands. She swings her blade down, but the soldier grabs it, Nova cuts him with her dagger and follows with an elbow to the face and finishes with a final swipe. The final soldier on the far right fires relentlessly at Nova. She runs to the side then changes direction and slides under the bullet storm. She leaps high into the air as the bullets continue flying her way. The final slice downwards finishes it. Around her is death and blood, fitting with the all the burning.

Nova looks around the battle zone and sees that there is a truck mounted with a heavy machine gun shooting conservatively at Pyrium. Towards the front of the car are two heavy tanks shooting volleys of shells at the Goddess as well. Nova makes her way towards the machine gun, while defeating foes in her way. She gets hit occasionally, but pushes through the pain. She gets on the gun killing the operator, who put up a fight, and aiming it towards the tanks. Some of the foot soldiers take notice and open fire, but thankfully the shielding on the gun protects her from a high majority of the rounds. She opens fire on the soldiers and reduce their numbers significantly, then she aims at the first tank and fires when it begins reloading. She holds down the triggers hoping it doesn’t gets to fire first. As the cannon is almost towards her direction it stops, riddled with dents and some bullet holes. Nova aims for the fueling tank mounted on it and it sets ablaze, then it explodes, taking the whole tank with it. During all this Nova didn’t notice the second tank already aimed directly at her. She gets off the gun as fast as she could, but before she could jump off the truck, the cannon fired.

She flew through the air as the explosion launched her ten feet away. She hit the ground with a thud and had trouble breathing. She heaved in hard as she took in the fire and destruction around her. The tank cannon locked on to her again, but before she could think of closing her eyes the tank was hit with a volley of fire so great that Nova felt as if she were in an oven. After a moment the flames stopped and the tank stood red hot in place as if it were dead. Pyrium came to her side helping her up, but was hit with what seemed to be ice. This pained and angered the Goddess as she tried to launch fire, but was overwhelmed. The Goddess did the only thing she could do, she burned down the buildings around them so to provide cover and escape. The fire was too great as it spread from building to building and all were crumbling down around them. Pyrium no longer covered in flames, looking pale and cold tried to pick Nova up. Her hair no longer glowing red and orange, and her touch was cold. Nova gathered her senses and noticed the burning of the town. She put the Goddess’s arm around her and began to make a break for the construction area. Nova forgot completely that they were just in the middle of a fire fight, now only focused on getting out of the burning town alive. They had only made it a quarter of the way there and the flames grew more violent already, engulfing much of the buildings. Above a pillar of flames fell, so nova draws her blade and slices through. As they made their way to the exit more debris fell over head and around. They dodge most of them and as the flames engulf them, they jump through. At the end of the alley the construction zone was already ablaze, many of the buildings burning and some already fallen. Nova could see the end of it all and pushed the Goddess to make a final run towards the exit. They jump over some of the trenches yet couldn’t make the final one.

They fall five feet in the dirt pit, narrowly dodging the concrete debris around them. Quickly Nova looked up the steep climb and looked at Pyrium. She looked very weak and ill even. She picked her up, “Get up Goddess, we have to climb our way out!”

They began to climb slowly up, stabbing their blades into the dirt for leverage. After a long climb up they’ve made it to the top, but soon notice that their exit was nonexistent. The hole in the fire that was once there was gone, only to seem bigger and stronger with all the fire around. Suddenly the ear piece came on, “Nova? Nova do you hear?!”

She presses on the button which now felt hot, “I’m here Robert!”

“The exit is gone, I can see it from here! What’s going on?”

“Robert the whole town is on fire and I’m being chased by the Legion! What do I do, is there another way out?!”

There was silence for a moment, “Look I think the only way out is through the sewers. You need to go back down and there should be some way up north towards the lake.”

“Ok how do I get there?”

Silence again, “That’s the thing… I don’t know…”

“What, are you serious?!”

“I know how it sounds, but right now I don’t see any other options left. The only thing you can rely on I the current of the waters. The current should all lead to the lake or other bodies of water. Listen the children and Margarete are here with me, we would meet you there, but we’re defenseless out here. We’re going to Illustia right now for shelter, meet us there!”

“No! If the radio stays true to the parade route of this morning, then Illustria is the next place the Legion will set out for! Stay away from the parade path, head south, make sure no one knows you’re from Briedon.”

Over the ear piece she could hear him curse under his breath, “Damn, what the hell is going on? Ok, we’ll make it south and try for Tas see if it’s safe there.”

“Ok I’m going to try and get out of here.”

“Wait, before that… you should know that these ear piece have a max range of two miles. Once you make it to the lake we won’t be in contact for a while.” Silence, “What do you plan to do after this?”

Nova hesitates and thinks for a moment, “I don’t know honestly… I guess we’ll see if we see each other again.”

“I see… be safe then.” The connection between them cuts and Nova takes no time in getting into the sewers. She helps Pyrium in and closes the lid behind them, now somewhat hot. Nova looks at the current of the waters and the flow along the right side of the sewers. Nova then picks up Pyrium and begins following the water’s current, uncertain where it may lead them towards the exit or lead them astray.

#Fantasy #Magic #Gods #Action #Adventure #Dark #Story #Storyteller

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atomic-r0x · 7 years

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Atlas, Part Eight | “Baby, did you forget to take your meds?”

She'd gotten really used to the nauseous feeling of waking up with a self-dread induced panic attack. Jolting up with a strong spasm, naked skin burning next to Damien’s quiet figure, and oh God, how she wanted to hate him for being this peaceful, in his sleep at least. The common anger in his eyes, the broken pieces in him, everything was gone once his mind drifted off into slumber, flesh licking sweat coating him like a protective shield.

She wanted to hate him, but couldn’t.

She’d been playing this mental game of hide and seek for two weeks now, and it came as a great relief when, one morning, she found the mirror in Damien’s bathroom was no longer there. She’d gotten weary of reflective surfaces, terrified to catch a glimpse of herself. Before the mirror disappeared, she’d spend as long as fifteen minutes just staring at the person before her, trying to remember and find similarities between Atlas Collins and the hollow-eyed woman standing naked in the blue hued lightning of a cheap motel bathroom. It was nearly impossible to consider herself the same person, especially with this whole affair going on – it felt acting. She loved Damien, and she showed him that, but at the same time, there was no way Atlas could be anything but the woman counting the days till her wedding with the love of her life. And as brutal and crude this realization might be, this person was not the one laying asleep in the middle of the messed-up motel bed.

Ever since the mirror disappeared from her morning routine, it felt as if she’d completely lost track of who she was acting as, like the reflection of herself was the constant reminder of the costume she was wearing and the lines she had to say. She’d get up, fish for her clothes around the visibly-shrinking motel room, she’d get fully dressed, checking her body for new love mark to hide, and then annoy herself for stopping herself in her tracks to turn around and gingerly kiss his lips before heading out, imaginary sound effects of a building collapsing to the ground deafening her ears.

It took two cigarettes and a short, silent cry for her to become Atlas and sneak inside her home, washing herself before sliding underneath the sheets. Sometimes, Henry would wake up before she did, and he’d rest his head on her shoulder, patiently waiting for her to open her eyes and start the day together. Every other Tuesday and Thursday, he’d wake up shortly after she’d slid back underneath the sheets and take her father to the hospital for his heart treatment, and she’d lie in bed wide awake till she heard him unlocking the front door, following his steps around the house until he knocked on the door, and then she knew what would happen next. Henry was so polite and respectful of her father that he would never even attempt to sleep with Atlas, not even if she’d done that times and times before during her teenage years, and nobody knew.

But the moment her father was out for a safe amount of time, Henry allowed himself to be the tender, passionate lover he was back home, where it was just the two of them in their wildly spacious diplomatic house, and Atlas had no intention of stopping him from loving her the way he did, no matter how guilty it was making her feel. There was something disgraceful about the way she rolled around the sheets between Damien and Henry, and it wasn’t the actual act of having sex that felt dirty and foul, but the way she selfishly kept the truth for herself in each situation.

“What’s that?” Damien’s breathless voice rang as he pushed himself away from her slightly, eyes glued to something below her ear. Atlas couldn’t see it, but she knew he was asking about the mark, his calloused index finger tracing its outlines without knowing it sent small jolts of pain all the way up to her jawline.

“Um… It’s…” she began whispering, voice failing her yet again, for the millionth time that week, but decided in a split second that he knew all too well what it was, so she reached for his mouth, blocking his following words from coming out with her frantic lips.

It was funny how Damien kept track of every mark he’d left on her skin, while Henry couldn’t care less about it. Maybe it was a sense of property that was making him want to remember every place where the natural colour of her flesh had been modified by his teeth or hands, an urgency the latter couldn’t relate to – in a parallel universe where things were straight and easy and there was no hiding around, she was his fiancée, which obviously meant there was absolutely no reason why he’d ever be suspicious of whether he was the only one touching her like that.

It was the morning of the fifteenth day of commuting from Damien’s bed to her own, and she couldn’t fall back to sleep, no matter how hard she tried. Her eyes wouldn’t let go of the heavenly way Henry’s face seemed, his little cute frown and the pout he unconsciously did when he was sleeping, a look that never failed to send butterflies in her stomach and an incontrollable little smile pushing upwards the corner of her mouth. She didn’t mind spending forever just looking at him, and this made her feel even worse in a way – maybe it was that deep down she knew Damien’s face could never bring her as much peace as Henry’s. Maybe she knew the ugly and the broken and the angry in him will always stir up just the same feelings in her too.

He opened up his eyes in slow motion, his furrowed brows coming even closer together as the light chased the sleepiness away from his pink lids. With a small, guttural growl, he hid his face in the crook of her neck, eyes tightly shut as if doing his best to stay asleep.

“Hi” she whispered, hand reaching for his chocolatey locks, fingers diving in the messiness of bed hair. He nodded as if in agreement, and sighed deeply before pulling away, a sleepy smile hanging on his lips.

“Good morning, beautiful” he uttered, hoarse morning voice melting Atlas’s knees even if she wasn’t standing. The sight of him and the way he spoke and every single detail just set her stomach on fire, a pleasant one, the type you’d cuddle up next to with a book and an oversized pyjama shirt. She watched as he rolled on his back, facing the ceiling, hands rubbing at his eyes before blinking a couple times to check if he needed any more of it. There was a smile still lingering on his face, and the moment he turned back to face her, Atlas immediately noticed it had only gotten wider. “I had this really crazy dream last night” he began, his left arm propping his head up while his right one wrapped itself around her torso protectively. “It was the wedding, but like, really random and spontaneous, and nobody had any idea what we were doing, and at some point, we actually left on those little scooters they have in Italy and your mother would have gladly killed us both” he narrated, eyes bright and joyful as his speech, and Jesus fucking Christ, how is it possible for someone to make her feel so much at peace and so much in love within literally two minutes of interaction? Just hearing him describe his dream was a good enough reminder that she would never be able to leave him. No matter how much Damien wanted to believe that, no matter how much she wanted to give him the impression she could just pack her things and run.

“I’m actually really looking forward to it. The wedding, I mean” he spoke again, this time propping himself so that his face was hovering above hers, making it easy for Henry to lean down and plant a loving kiss on her lips, Atlas catching herself being surprised by the softness of his lips, their cashmere touch, so different from Damien’s chapped kisses. “I think it’s going to be great fun, to be honest. And maybe we could try and bring your dad too, somehow. See what the doctors are saying.”

She stared up at him in awe and adoration, words failing to come out of her mouth. And really, she didn’t even have the intention to speak, all she wanted was to be able to stay in bed, underneath the fluffy comforter, and listen to him endlessly going on about whatever he pleased, from wedding plans to daily to-do’s to world news and childhood memories. “Henry?” she almost whispered, too preoccupied with how she was feeling right now to even notice he was talking about something she’d completely lost track of.

“Yeah?” he paused, a little puzzled by the sudden interruption, but nonetheless his face was calm and his was smooth, almost velvety, the type you might feel tempted to recommend as an alternative to prescription painkillers.

“You really love me, don’t you?” Atlas found herself asking, each word carefully pronounced, leaving no room for interpretation. And then his face lit up and a playful chuckle escaped his throat and his lips touched hers again, brushing ever so slightly before diving in a long, beautiful kiss.

“I guess you caught me on that one, yes” was what he said, eyes bright and truthful, like he’d just been born. “I do really love you, Atlas” he added, like she needed him to restate the truth, which to be completely honest, wasn’t far from the truth.

With a bite of her lip and a roaring pain in her chest, she allowed herself to be honest nonetheless, even if that meant it was making her a murderer. “That’s good” she started, eyes moving from the plump of his lower lip to his eyes, once more feeling like her knees could never stand a chance before him. “Because I love you too, I love you a lot. I love only you.”

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