#' what am I even doing here ' hours

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4) #and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!! #(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. ) #anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild??? #so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page. #here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area. #i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

#detective conan #case closed #amv #my amvs #eye strain #heiji hattori #harley hartwell #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #funimation english dub script #video #happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'! #while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?) #it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real #it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺 #and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up' #but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project #it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster! #which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results! #to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio #video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds #but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now #but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!) #i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten #and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it! #thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333 #like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3 #but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522 #and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol #i'm sorry i've been so absent lately! i hope to be more active now... and there are 2 completely done amvs that i'm just waiting to post...

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

"Wait is that lore?" moments in Antoine's return stream

These ones are likely jokes, but (you can use it in your headcanons):

With Tubbo, explaining his absence by saying "I was dead, I think, but not anymore, I was tired of being dead"

"I couldn't explain to you, it's out of my understanding how I'm dressed. The human mind cannot comprehend how I'm dressed and so the human brain shows it that way, but it isn't exactly like that. It's not powerful, it's just weird"

"You know me well!" "Heh, I know you as if I made you!" *silence* (closest to maybe serious)

These ones are more serious:

He isn't romantically interested by Cucurucho, he just likes his ass (that totally a human is aro that's what I mean)

He really missed Pomme, he stopped coming because without her it wasn't interesting anymore (this one is just cute)

Very invested in knowing what happened to the eggs while they were away

Accidentally gave Pomme one of the books Ourson (I think it's this one?) gave him, immediately panicking when he realized. When Pomme asks what it was, he first tries to pretend not to understand, and is pretty serious when he tells her that it's nothing; he'll tell her about it one day, and it's his little secret garden, everyone should be allowed to have secrets, don't she think? she isn't against secrets, right?

Certain that the eggs went to some kind of other dimensions/got doubles?? I mean there was a theory inspired by Stranger Things but despite what Pomme is saying he's not letting go of the idea

After asking Pomme if she met dark Cucurucho and she talks about the Watcher: "Je crois pas qu'on parle de la même chose. Là tu me parles de l'oeil, et moi je pense que je te parle de quelque chose d'autre. Je pense que tu me parles du Watcher... là où moi je te parle d'autre chose." ("I think we're not talking about the same thing. Here you're talking about the eye, and me I think I'm talking about something else. I think you're talking about the Watcher... when me I talk about something else" again how does he know the name "Watcher".)

Knows that Maximus is dead, when all the other players seem to have decided to play the "don't know if he's alive or dead" card (bonus: Antoine and Pomme talking about telling Aypierre, and Pomme thinking she won't be able to find the right words "I don't think there are right words..." ok im sad now thanks). Since we're at it, when reading Pomme diary where she worries about Baghera and Antoine being dead, saying they can't be dead, he doesn't share that worry in the slightest, as if he knows Baghera's not dead (this one's dubious and I am very willing to put it as cc!Antoine not thinking rp)

He and Pomme are talking about what she remembers of the Watcher and honestly the whole conversation deserves to be clipped and transcribed. To go with him name dropping the Watcher, he is now only calling it the creature with one eye because that's how Pomme calls it

Pomme explains that the Watcher was observing her and Richas and there was a threatening aura to it, so they immediately fled. Antoine in a very serious voice "You were right to, you were right to, you were right to. Because I think it's this person who was at the origin of your disappearance."

#theres not really lore in his talk with Sunny but they're fun together #completely missed the whole 'you wanna be a star? you're gonna lose your privacy if you do that are you sure?' convo #also the way he's just 'btw have you met my CHILD Pomme? Yeah she's great' you fucking dad #i think antoine will be a sunny defender #him reuniting with Pomme <3 #also its fun to rewatch. he's pressing buttons on a snowman decoration. i remember how he loved press the button. #it was foreshadowing. #pomme saying it took her one hour to draw something for Dapper and Antoine jumping to her defense #by saying Leonard de Vinci could take days to make something #qsmp #qsmp antoine #pomme admin must have been so happy for Antoine to be here her lore with her memory loss and what happened to the egg is finally played with #anyway with how antoine was also insistent to learn more about the watcher by questioning pomme #I am betting even more on Antoine knowing things about the Watcher

[dalkyum]

yugyeom ✶ ig live 240203

#yugyeom #kim yugyeom #got7 #got7edit #got7daily #madstual #eritual #ceeblr #userjoanna #aleksbestie #userkathia #IF I SPEAK #all of these gifs are 8 hours long #what am i even supposed to say here. he's like this FOR FREE #i need to wrap him around my wrist like one of those slap bracelets #ilygif #emigif #441-448 #i'll have to do a bonus post at some point w my extras from this bc i made a lot dfkjd

[lloydfrontera]

male authors, writing m/m friendships: their bond will develop through hundreds of chapters, we will get to see each stage of their budding relationship, they'll constantly be in each other thoughts, their first instinct will always be to reach for the other, their first worry will always be the other's safety, they'll spend every minute of the day together, they'll be complete opposites and yet perfectly compliment each other, they will put everything they ever loved in risk just to keep the other safe, they will give their life without hesitation to save the other's, they will fight and argue and tease and joke around but they will always be at each other's side at the end of the day, they will plan to spend the rest of their lives together, sharing the happy moments and the hard times, the idea of being without the other being unthinkable, the thought of being always together coming naturally, as easy as breathing.

the same male authors, writing m/f romance: she'll like,, smile once at him and he'll start thinking of marrying her and having children with her idk

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #ch 368 #LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK SIR #i remember the romance being sudden but this is fucking ridiculous lmaooooo #it came out of fucking nowhere!!! it's so shoehorned in there they almost cut off the heel to make it fit!!! #i don't think they've spent more than like.... 12 hours in the same room in all the years they've known each other.... what the fuck.... #and in fucking ch 368!! literally 40 ch away from the ending!! #less than 10% of the way to the end!!! i thought i was exaggerating when i said 90% of the novel had no romance but no!!! #i was fucking right!!!! #this is........ infuriating skjashdkdsf #to be clear i am not saying friendships cannot do everything i just listed here #of course they can!! more friendships in fiction should be like that!! but!!! you cannot write a friendship between two characters like tha #and then put one of those two characters in a romantic relationship with a completely different character #and not give it even a tenth of the attention you gave to the friendship and expect me to find it realistic!!! or compelling!!! #either give it the same level of attention or just!! don't include it!! #that's also an option!! just leave the incredibly compelling friendship you wrote be the highlight of the novel!! #let it be the most important relationship of the plot!! let it be the happy ending for those characters!! that's perfectly okay!!! #FUCK!!!! #i'm fine i'm normal i'm okay

[megaawkwardhuman]

the only reason you're still alive is cause I let you live

yes yes I know this is the pilot and that's a season 3 quote BUT IT FITS OK?

this drawing oh THIS DRAWING

I thought hey I like fucking around with lighting and shading this is going to be fun

but oh boy

OOOOOOOH BOY

the amount of times I wanted to throw my laptop out of a window is far too many to count

goes to show that fuck it we ball ISN'T the best drawing philosophy to live by some times

below cut is the sketch that started it all

#it took me drawing this to realize but I've been making the bunny's body way more human like as of recent #hell even their faces can look a bit more human from time to time #I think it's cause I've gotten better at/been drawing more humans ever since I've started my bunny bs #it's both funny and weird to me #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #wwdits fanart #guillermo de la cruz #*funny tag for my art* #bun stuff #I started this at like 4 or 5 am yesterday? #it is now 7 am #here's your reminder that sleep if for nerds #edit: you know a drawing is good when you straighten you back after spending hours on it #only for it to sound like you're cracking a glow stick

[andromeda3116]

planning to make a move tonight with this guy and deeply terrified even though i know he's interested, he's made it very clear that he's interested but putting the ball in my court to decide what, if anything, i want and i've made up my mind to pursue this but like. i've been single since the obama administration because there's not, like, a person-shaped hole in my life, i don't need to be with someone to feel whole, and i have to make room in my life for another person and idk how to do this and i hate feeling vulnerable or exposed or out of control and giving someone else the power to hurt me and having to just. trust that they won't. but i kind of... accidentally already gave him that power without realizing it. i kind of... feel like this is just acknowledging something that's already started.

i am. so nervous.

like, a little giddy, a little eager, a lot anxious for no reason other than how terrified i am of major changes even when i feel like they're good ones and. and. and.

#i am having to force myself to eat #i have cleaned the whole apartment. i am shaking like a leaf. i will 100% need a glass of liquid courage. #i've already told all my family that i'm doing this so i can't chicken out. #it just feels like... it's time. we're here. we've reached this point. #he won't be over here for like four more hours and my brain is eating itself. #this is going to be comical probably i am just going to have to come out of the gate with it bc if i wait i'll chicken out. #i've been trying to come up with what to say all week but i know my mind is going to go blank and i'll end up babbling. #he knows about my issues with vulnerability. he knows about my anxiety. he knows about... me. #he'll probably pick up on the gist of it even if i'm stumbling through what i need to say #hnnngh #i feel like komi from komi can't communicate when she accidentally calls tadano #like bouncing around the room ''panic panic panic panic'' #and its been all day of this and like probably four more hours of it and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[roitaminnah]

oh but I hope on my wishing stars

that I could be your love -

I’ve been waiting oh so long

to be your lover

(explodes) I just think about them a lot I think they’re neat. (song is ‘to be your lover’ by the burkharts,, one of the last ones on my ppkm playlist <3)

#butterfly soup #butterfly soup 2 #ppkm #pee pee ketchup man #noekarsha #noelle #akarsha #i told myself. i must finish this before my colonoscopy or i will never finish. so here u go 4 am i'm posting it NOW because i'm insane #and I need to share immediately. #<-- hasn't even closed CSP yet.. #last night my friend and I stayed up till 5 am (they were doing homework. I should have been sleeping lol.) #and I spent like a whole hour at one point drawing out a timeline and trying to figure out exactly at what age ppkm gets together #accommodating certain canonical events like college and weddings and the flash forwards from both games. #anyways the point is that I am insane about them. roi writes an entire novel in the tags again i'm not normal #roi draws

[dumbassnamedkhoshekh]

GUYS

I am

NOT WELL

Did anyone else listen to the newest Night Vale episode

Because I AM NOT OKAY AND I NEED TO SDFGBVCDFGYJHGVCF ABOUT IT

IM LITERALLY SHAKING

SOMEBODY COME SAVE ME PLEASE

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #i had three other photoshop assignments due an hour and a half ago #but i do NOT CARE #i need more friends who listen to this #im dying out here #but like #WE GOT SO MUCH FUCKING LORE THIS EPISODE #AND IT DIDNT EVEN HAVE CECIL IN IT #LIKE #WHAT #im fine #i am calm #i am chill #the previous three tags are all falsehoods #somebody save me #also WE GOT ABBY CONTENT RAAAAAAAAAAA #im completely normal #just a normal girl in a normal world #(lie) #fuck #night vale

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).

#storyrambles #it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance. #this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun #flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun #but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean #‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid #I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no. #‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask. #‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours. #‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works. #sorry for the rant im just. tired. #you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard #and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves? #yeah. that’s this friend here. #usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit #and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them #I am not going to play along. #UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’ #I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me #it’s uncomfortable. #also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID #will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I? #(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.) #I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day. #‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’ #first of all. that’s different? #secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves #also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so. #ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible. #but UGHHHHHH

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

#hi everyone #I’m going around hugging you all #okay now that we are gathered here today #i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best #i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time #and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol #but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine #literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything #I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake…. #I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour #then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it #and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again #I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do #so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour. #I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday #y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts #I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story #I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my #own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing? #y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents #.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire #but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself #I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump #I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions #I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well #I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day. #but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it #I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing #I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!! #I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time

[hella1975]

11pm in manchester airport plane landed at 10pm after being DELAYED AND ANNOYING AND EVERYTHING WRONG WITH RYANAIR for over an hour. when is my train home from this godforsaken city you ask? 5am. good job im stuck in arrivals where there are no coffee shops or even regular charging ports haha. so glad to be spending the next six hours sat by the squeaky baggage claim machine. thank god my mum was sympathetic about it right haha… right????

#YELLINGGGG GET ME OUTTTT OF HEREEEE #WHAT THE FUCK AM I MEANT TO DO FOR 6 HOURS 😭 #like yeah if i could amble about duty free coffee shops for a bit like i originally planned I’d be golden a bit bored but fine #BUT THIS??? THIS LOOKS LIKE THE BACKROOMS IVE BEEN HERE ONE HOUR AND WANT TO END IT ALL #WHY IS THIS AIRPORT LIKE THIS 😭 MANCHESTER THIS IS WHY NO ONE WANT YOU FR #called my mum like ‘I’m not being dumb right there’s no shops or anything after arrivals it’s just the exit’ #bc if I leave arrivals I am NOT allowed to re-enter so I won’t even get this dogshit area that is at least indoors and covered #so I’m NOT chancing that shit #and she was SO FUCKING UNHELPFULLL she literally was just like ‘I dunno’ & when I complained she went ‘what were you expecting? a hotel?’ #LIKE GIRL THE REASON IM HERE ON MY OWN IS BC THE FRIEND THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY AT THE AIRPORT WITH ME HAD TO MAKE OTHER PLANS #BC HER PARENTS LITERALLY WERENT OKAY WITH HER STAYING HERE FOR SO LONG LIKE THAT #IM LITERALLY A YOUNG GIRL ALONE IN THE AIRPORT FOR THE NEXT 6 HOURS AND NOT EVEN THE PART OF THE AIRPORT YOURE SUPPOSED TO WAIT IN #THAT’S WEIRD. YOU’RE WEIRD #I DO NOT KNOW THIS CITY. LIKE THAT IS AN IMPORTANT DETAIL I DO NOT KNOW MANNY AND IM ALONE AND IT’S NIGHTTIME. WHAT THE FUCK AND HELL #AT LEAST BE FUCKING NICE OH MY GODDD #anyway. just saw a jesus i bet on losing dogs edit. what was that about

[elftwink]

one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society

#good idea generator #i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything #they assume so much knowledge and access to data #ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events] #also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything #i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this #and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking #but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign #PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs #ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line #constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so #its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit #and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open #but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating #bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up #but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive #monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun #and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak

[justablah56]

think I'm currently experiencing a crush for the first time in like . 5-6 years and what the fuck . how do you allos just . deal with this . I don't . how do you even function .

#just blahs #also hey what the fuck to this one guy for deciding to exist and give me an identity crisis fucking hell my dude #anyways he lives like an hour away from me but hes gonna be in town on saturday so were gonna hang out and ahh #ive literally been smiling stupidly and stimming about his message since i read it #literally multiple times since i realized i *liked* him hes just kinda crossed my mind and im left here completely dumbfounded #how do you allos even function ???? #i am confusion ???? #arospec #greyromantic #idk my man im going through a whole crisis rn

[absurdumsid]

guys the classical music isnt doing it i need to punch someone in the face

#im. im. i i i i #i cant stay still #i want to do something #i donfornfjnfnendnskskd #im going insane #im going absolutely insane #WHY ARENT THEY GIVING ME WORK #I CAME HERE TO WORK ?? #THERES ONLY THREEISH HOURS LEFT #im fucking sobbing ive never wanted to work more badly in my life #i cant stay put like a fucking DOG when im not WAITING FOR ANYTHING #THERES NOHING #NOTHING #HWTA THE FUCK !!!! #HWAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #SIT HERE AND STARE ?? #WHAT THE FUCK #sid rambles #not even a vent this is too LIGHT for a vent im just going insane #idk man #cw violence

[majorshatterandhare]

Today I, an aromantic, was getting ready to attend a wedding… with Stranger on repeat.

#the mechanisms #stranger #ttbt2 #i knew what i was doing when i put it on but also i am working on an addtion to my brian-jonny foils post so i was thinking about brian #its always sad brian hours #i cant really read that song separate from him anymore. honestly not sure i ever could but. its just so unconnected from anything else.- #actaea and lyssa is pretty disconnected. but its still almost certainly on the city. alice is pretty disconnected but its a result of- #king cole’s war. the most disconnected songs are redeath. the ignominious demise of dr pilchard. drop dead. hereward the wake. and stranger- #(and frankenstein but i consider that its own thing). and redeath and drop dead are my least favorite mechs songs.dr pilchard i didnt- #really care for for quite a while. stranger has so few words in it. it’s my favorite song. but the story is minimal fron the song (ie w/o- #knowing the crane wife story) so making a story around it sort of makes sense? im having a hard time with the words here. like we expect a- #story. cause that’s what the mechs do. and stranger has a story. it just doesnt have context and so creatong that context for ourselves is- #understandable. to be expected even. hope that makes sense #side note: i think it would make sense for hereward to have been from the same place (system I guess) as the people that made- #fort galfridian. i mean hereward was more of a real person than arthur (since there was no one person arthur was based on. like thats a- #whole thing) and hereward was anglo-dutch. so it makes sense hed be related to that story somehow #its just a theory. obviously. theres nothing in the songs connecting the too as far as im aware. #OH also achilles pointed out to me the anti-amatonormative/aromantic reading of stranger and i liked that a lot #hereward was anglo-danish. not anglo-dutch. sorry danish and dutch people