#''easiest way to convince people of something is make it seem like something you don't want to convince them of''
Note
Hi! If you’re ever in the mood to write a sickfic I like this idea.
Peter and reader are on a date, but reader feels nauseous. But, reader doesn’t want to tell Peter because a: they’ve both been super busy lately between Spider-Man duties and college and/or work and b: because even if reader won’t admit it, being vulnerable and being taken care of kind of scares them. But Peter finds out/figured it out and wants to help and fluff ensues.
Anyway, it’s just an idea. No pressure to complete (obvi)! Hope you’re doing well and drinking water! <3
~🥧
hey pie anon! i hope this is okay and i'm sorry it's months late! I forgot it was in my drafts :')
You realise something is wrong when you’re only a quarter of the way through your pizza and Peter is over half way through his.
You feel sick. Or at the very least least like you might be - nausea brewing uncomfortably in your stomach as you take small bites of your food.
Your boyfriend chats away opposite you, blissfully unaware that you've started to feel queasy, so you plaster a smile on your face and swallow hard. The two of you have been incredibly busy for the past few days between your work and his vigilante duties, and the last thing you want to do is ruin the first peaceful moment you’ve had together. You can tell how much Peter has needed a little normalcy. The thought of ruining it because you’re feeling a little off feels incredibly selfish.
Beyond that, you're not used to letting people take care of you, and though Peter has told you countless times that he likes doing it, you can never quite dislodge uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability that blooms in you whenever he does. Letting yourself be loved, allowing Peter to look after you when you're not feeling too well - they're processes. You've been trying to work on them for a while, but it's difficult. It always has been.
You’re just trying to rub at your chest discreetly when Peter looks up at you from his almost empty plate.
"Everything okay?"
"Yes! Yeah, everything is fine." Your reply comes out wobbly and you only realise afterwards that you’ve made too much of an effort to sound alright. You smile at Peter through gritted teeth and try foolishly to convince yourself that if you pretend the nausea doesn't exist, it'll go.
Peter doesn’t look like he believes you for a second.
"Are you sure? Do you not like your pizza?" He pushes his own plate towards you as if it's the easiest thing ever, offering you his last two slices. "Here, baby. We can swap."
The tender easiness in the gesture very nearly makes you want to cry. Peter Parker might just be the loveliest boy you’ve ever known.
"No, Peter it's okay. My pizza is good,” your hands shifts slightly to rub against your abdomen, Peter tracks your movements cautiously. “I'm just kinda full I think.”
Your boy raises an eyebrow at your barely eaten pizza but nods, never one to push you for explanations.
"I'll ask for the bill and a box to take the rest home. We can have the ice cream in the freezer when we get back. How's that sound?"
The thought of ice cream makes you feel queasy, but Peter seems so hopeful and he's looked so tired and sad in the past few days that you cant help but indulge him.
-
Once you’ve gotten the bill and packed your leftover pizza into a takeaway box, Peter takes your hand in his and guides you out of the restaurant.
New York City in the evening is a sensory nightmare, but your nausea does abate slightly thanks to the fresh air. You catch Peter looking down at you and stamp an awkward smile on your face.
"Home?" He squeezes your fingers gently.
Your stomach churns at the thought of having to go so far, but Peter is looking at you like you've hung the moon and the stars - the journey home feels a little more bearable with him by your side.
"Yes please."
"You okay to walk?"
"I'm fine, Peter. I promise."
"No, you're not, baby. And that's okay, you don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don’t want to. Just let me take care of you."
You sigh, resigned. You don't even know why you tried to hide it from him. Peter can quite literally hear your heartbeat, of course he was going to clock that you're not feeling too well.
Peter keeps his body angled towards yours as the two of you walk, and you soon realise that he's shielding you the best he can from the light around you and all the bodies rushing past. It's a small gesture, one that he might not even realise he's doing, but makes your chest flutter pleasantly
Then, just as you think that maybe the nausea is easing up, another wave of discomfort overwhelms you and you stumble.
Fortunately Peter catches your wrist just before you can do any real damage, balancing your pizza box in his free hand. He helps you back up easily, his fingers a warm pressure on your skin.
"Woah. Hey, hey, sweetheart. Let's just stop for a second, hm?"
You are mortified, and very sorry about how inconvenient you're being but when Peter pulls you to a stop, you oblige. Tears swarming in your eyes, you make one last ditch attempt at snuffing out the discomfort by pushing your face into the soft sweatshirt your boyfriend is wearing.
You feel him go still and for one horrible millisecond, you think he's going to push you away, but then Peter’s body relaxes and he presses you against him softly, almost as if he's afraid to hurt you.
You mumble into his chest. "I'm really sorry."
"It's okay, you don't have to apologise," his lips are soft against the crown of your head. "You're good. Let's take a moment, alright?"
You nod, sniffing slightly.
"We're nearly there. Just a few more blocks to go."
Something like a whine gets stuck in your throat and Peter coos gently, a hand coming up to cup the back of your head. “I know. You’re alright, honey. I've got you.”
You straighten up after a few seconds, aware that this is not at all what he signed up for when the two of you left the house, and Peter frowns a little.
"You can lean into me, baby. You're not a bother."
And you do know, because he's said it to you countless times before in different variations. I like being there for you. You don't have to apologise. I'm here for you, it's kinda in the boyfriend job description.
Peter doesn’t have to repeat himself. When he nudges you closer, you lean in.
-
Once you’re at home, Peter lets go of you carefully, never taking his eyes off you as he reaches into his jacket pocket and pull out the keys to let you both in.
He places the pizza box on the microwave in the kitchen before following you through down the corridor, a hand ghosting the small of your back. When you reach the bedroom, he dims the lights.
You sit on the bed gingerly. Peter sits next to you.
"How are you feeling?" Peter asks.
You’re quiet for a while. Then, a small admission;
"I feel really nauseous Peter." You avoid his gaze. "It started in the restaurant. I don't... I don't know what's wrong."
Peter is silent for a beat. You take it as a sign that you've said something wrong.
"It's fine though. I'm sorry for ruining the meal. I know you were looking forward to this." your voice is hoarse. "I’m really sorry."
When you muster the courage to look up at him, Peter looks horrified.
"Baby, what are you talking about? You didn't ruin anything. It's okay." His hand comes up to brush at your jawline. "I got to spend time with my best girl. I feel like the luckiest guy alive."
You think he might be exaggerating just to make you smile, but there's real sincerity in his tone. "Do you want pain relief? Some ginger tea, maybe?"
Right now, you only want Peter.
"Can we just cuddle for a bit, please?"
"Oh, my girl." Peter is already pulling you down so that you're lying against his chest. "C'mere."
#peter parker imagine#tasm peter parker#peter parker x reader#tasm peter parker imagine#peter parker fluff#tasm peter x reader#tasm!peter parker#fic recs#mareagirls musings#tasm x reader#peter parker one shot#tasm!spiderman x reader#tasm peter parker x you#my works! 💌#i cannot believe i have finished writing something 😭#it’s been MONTHS#i’m so rusty
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Van der Linde fellas react to an Asexual S/O
GN Reader
Arthur, John, Hosea, Dutch, Bill, Sean, Charles, Javier
Written w/ the reader being non sex-repulsed, but nothing explicit
I take requests! Feel free to ask!
Arthur
I hc Arthur as Demisexual, so he probably understands the easiest. The further you get into your explanation the more things start clicking in his head.
There are multiple confused rambling passages in his journal as he tries to think through this reality you've introduced to him.
Expect him to get very tactile as he seeks comfort and anchors himself while his thoughts get sorted.
Gets even more confused than normal when you call him sexy or say something he does is attractive, but does quickly catch on to the idea of mental vs physical attraction.
Now asks if this is okay before doing anything he thinks may be pushing you. Which, until you establish your hard limits, will be everything. Very sweet, 1001 check ins for 1001 kisses.
"Still Alright?" . "I'm Alright."
John
Does not understand and fully willing to accept that. Still supportive though.
He does not want to mess this up, so the reigns are now fully in your hands. Hope you were ready to wear the pants of this relationship, cause what you say goes.
He backpeddles a bit too far and you'll now have to initiate everything, unless you manage to convince him otherwise.
He 100% tries to get advice from Arthur, but doesn't want to out you, so he just poses more and more obscure hypotheticals. Until they're both mindlessly arguing and Hosea has to come break them up.
Hosea
Fully supportive from the start.
You are not the first Ace he's met, not even the fifth.
He'll tell you a few stories and crack a few jokes
"Probably for the best with me getting up in age, not sure I could keep up with your youthful vigor."
The both of you have been caught on several occasions reading explicit books to make fun of the maneuvers and tropes.
"It's a good thing people don't buy these for the plot!"
You are the sickenly sweet couple that never seems to leave the honeymoon phase, sweet kisses, holding hands, pet names, cuddling by the fire. The whole shebang.
Dutch
Does not understand, May accuse you of making it up or being dramatic
Is the kind of guy to insist you just haven't had good sex yet, but fear not he's willing to help you.
Had heard of it, but thought it was in the same vein as husbands saying they have a headache and wives saying they have their monthlies. Saying no without having to say no.
If you drag Hosea into it, Dutch will probably concede that you're not lying and apologize, but don't expect him to fully be on the same page with you.
Bill
(tw for allusions to noncon against an offscreen character, that is not the Reader or Bill)
Gets real quiet, then asks you to explain it again, then again, and again once more.
Asks a few tentative questions, then gently asks to hold you
"Did somethin' happen, someone hurt you?"
You rush to explain that, no you're perfectly fine, nothing happened. You just don't seem to feel lust the way most folk do.
He breathes a big sigh of relief, slumping down and gathering you close in his lap to hold you tight.
He explains that while he was in the army, he'd known some people that had been real similar, but only after some real bad stuff had happened to them.
Bill now mooches cuddles from you like they're being rationed.
Sitting down? It's on his lap. Standing up? His arm's around your waist. Walking to town? You're holding hands. Going to bed? Meet your new blanket.
Sean
Error 404 Sean.exe has stopped working.
Not wanting/needing Sex?? He does not understand.
You'll need to explain multiple times, over multiple days. Then explain again when he gets your explanations twisted up in his head.
"You don't want sex, but we can have sex? You'd do that just to make me feel nice??"
He feels blessed, he's dating the sweetest person to walk this earth. No other person can compare, and he's ready to shout it from the rooftops. Tried it once with a saloon when he was a few pints too deep, Arthur had to rescue him after he got stuck and started crying.
Thought he was gonna die up there and never get to see you again
Charles
Very Understanding, did ask for a few clarifications, but believed what you were explaining the whole time.
Not comfortable asking for penetrative sex, but if you want to watch or help him find his pleasure he's fully willing.
Unending cuddles from this man.
Makes him feel kinda guilty, but he really enjoys getting to touch you with no stress about taking it up a level.
Gets even more protective of you when people try to push their luck, you'll never be groped again, no ones dumb enough to try with him glaring over your shoulder.
Once knocked a guy out for lewdly catcalling you.
Javier
Tries to be supportive, but does not understand.
Will occasionally try to get you in the mood and you'll have to explain it to him once again.
When he finally gets it, he swerves hard into romance.
If he can't express his adoration for you physically, he'll do it how he knows best
He is going to charm your socks off.
There's compliments, there's flowers, there's serenading, there's moonlit strolls, picnics in flower fields, candle lit dinners, sweet kisses 24/7, and the Flirting! The flirting never stops!
You never knew so many pickup lines exsisted and for so many situations, but you're about to find out.
(Based on my own experiences being and coming out as Ace, please be kind)
#Dutch van der linde x reader#dutch x reader#hosea mathews x reader#hosea x reader#arthur morgan x reader#charles smith x reader#javier escuella x reader#bill williamson x reader#sean macguire x reader#john marston x reader#john marston#javier escuella#charles smith#arthur morgan#bill williamson#hosea mathews#dutch van der linde#sean macguire#headcanon#rdr2 headcanons#imagine#rdr2#read dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#red dead redemption two#gender neutral reader#ccghastly
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Ayup! I saw that your requests are open so I was wondering...if you have time, could you possibly write something about CC!platonic!Wilbur x GN!aromantic!teen!reader and they have a cute sibling relationship? Maybe after reader comes out to the public, they get hate for "ruining" romantic ships that fans created with reader and someone else (can't think of any specific person so it could be reader's best friend they've had on stream a couple times) and Wilbur stands up for them?? As an aromantic who craves and adores this type of content, it kinda bums me out that I can't seem to find it anywhere. (sorry if this is too long or too specific, i just really like the way you write). Could be headcannons or a oneshot, whichever is comfy and easiest for you. Whether you'd like to ignore or write, it's up to you, feel free to do with this what you will. Have an amazing day/night! :]
Happy Pride month!! Here's some headcannon things! I used "Alex" as the best friend's name because it's pretty androgynous and can be used for any gender.
I've been crazy busy recently, and so caught up with other things, but hopefully this offers you the content you wanted <3
Pairing: CC!Wilbur x Gn!Aro!Reader (Platonic)
Abashed Aromantic
Wilbur is absolutely pissed when he sees the sheer amount of hate you're getting on Twitter.
He wants to make a statement right then, but you convince him it's fine and that the love you're getting from the community greatly outweighs the hate.
It takes a lot of convincing to get him to stand down though, he's just so upset that people would dare be mad at you for who you are.
"Are you sure you don't want me to say anything? You know I'd gladly tear into them. It's not right-"
"I know, Wilbur. I'm sure." You say softly.
Wilbur nods, then pauses and starts again, unable to help himself it seems.
"They're all full of shit anyways-"
No matter how much hate you get, you keep telling him it's okay, so he respects your boundaries and doesn't say anything.
Even as your dm's flood with threats and messages about how you're ruining "ships" for your fandom, you stay quiet, hoping it'll just go away.
That is, until the hate goes too far, to the point where not even your Moderators can manage all the hateful messages on streams. Some slip by, and, of course, those are the ones you manage to read.
It's meant to be a peaceful "just chatting" stream when the donation comes through, somehow making it past all of your mods.
The stream donation sound sounds out over your headphones, and you perk up, waiting for text-to-speech to read the message aloud.
"I can't believe you're ruining all of our ships by being aromantic. You really would've been perfect with Alex. Fuck you." The robotic voice reads out. For a voice that's usually so comforting, ice-cold hurt races through your veins at the message.
It's just too much. You were trying so hard to ignore all the hate, ignore how the ship name for you and your best friend trended for days after you came out, but you can't anymore. And all because of something you couldn't even control.
Silence falls in the stream. That is, until Wilbur speaks up. You had almost forgotten he was in a call with you, so swept away in the donation.
"Who said that? Who was that?" He asks. Wilbur didn't get truly mad often, but in this moment you're glad you're not the one he's pissed at. "To that person and anyone else who thinks that message is okay, fuck you. That's not okay."
"Wil-"
"No. It's not okay." You snap your mouth shut, realizing that there's no stopping Wilbur. Even though you tried to stop him, a part of you can't help but rejoice at him speaking up for you, protecting you. "You aren't ruining anything by being yourself. Hear that, chat? Get that through your heads."
You scan chat, waiting anxiously to see their reactions. For the first time since you came out, it's overwhelmingly positive. True relief comes rushing through you, like a breath of fresh air.
"Now. Where were we?" Wilbur asks, nudging you along. "We were talking about bees, right?"
Later, you thank him, but Wilbur won't even let you thank him. He just keeps saying that it was "his job to protect you" and to "fuck the haters."
He makes sure to post a Tweet about it too, once you give him the okay to.
...and he makes an Instagram post with just photos of you two. Just to make it very clear.
In order to make sure you're entirely okay, he insists on having a movie night and binge-watching all of the Marvel movies in order. Popcorn, snacks, blankets, and all.
(Wilbur is upset at himself for a while after because he felt like he should've done something sooner, but eventually he's just glad to have put an end to the overwhelming hateful messages you were getting.)
And, of course, he makes sure to not let anyone give you shit after that. Even the slightest hint of hate towards you has him loudly proclaiming how amazing you are.
"You're aromantic, right?"
You pause at the question from the other streamer before answering carefully. It's your first time talking to them, and it's in a MCC no less. "Yeah."
"Oh. That's... interesting."
Maybe it's the tone of their voice, but something about the statement rubs you the wrong way. You shake your head, planning to move on, but Wilbur jumps into the conversation.
"Damn right it's interesting. And only in the best of ways." He proclaims.
You smile to yourself, thankful for Wilbur every goddamn day.
"What's your Ace Race time again?" He asks you. "Isn't it ridiculously fast? You're just so good at MCC, you'll have to carry this team. You'll get us the points there for sure, probably single-handedly get us to victory-"
#mcyt imagine#mcyt#dsmp#wilbur soot x reader#wilbur soot#wilbur soot x you#wilbur imagine#wilbur x reader#wilbur#wilbur x you#aromantic reader
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as soon as the episode ended i knew immediately what i wanted from next episode: and while it might not happen, i have hopes? and i think it'd be fun. anyways i have other projects i don't want to continue this so enjoy! (dndads s2ep30 spoilers)
~~
For all of his life, Normal’s been jealous of his sister.
He never wanted to admit it. He thought maybe, just maybe, he could earn a fun nickname or… or something from his parents if he were just popular enough, or well-liked. He figured he must’ve done something crazy horrible when he was born for his parents to name him Normally, but its not like he really minded the name so much… only when it was featured in smaller print alongside Hero on family photos.
And it’s not like Hero gloated about it or anything – in fact, sometimes she seemed just as grumpy about their unusual naming conventions as Normal himself was – but Normal remembers when Uncle Lark would take Hero out on trips around the city and his dad usually accompanied them and Normal loves his mom so much but he can’t deny that part of him had always felt so… left behind.
Now, he knows the truth: he was right to be jealous of Hero. She was special– and she was planned to be that way. No wonder Normal couldn’t make his father proud of him, there was probably nothing he could do. Not when he was a mistake. An accident. Unwanted.
With how much of his plans have gone awry since they started this entire mess, and with how Scary fights and Link snaps and Taylor bickers… and with all that he’s learned, Normal is tired.
(What’s the point in having a loving family if they only love you by necessity?
How can be be sure that, if given another chance, they’d still have him, welcome him into their lives?
What is the point of friendship if nobody trusts him and nobody listens to him?
And, better yet, why bother trying to do the right thing if it always, always goes wrong).
Suggesting his place as a hangout spot had been a distraction. He wanted to take a chance to see his mom, of course, but also if his sister really is the Chosen One, his house would probably be the safest place to drop off the others in his group. His plan would, unfortunately, require him to lie; or, at the very least, to act his pants off to convince the others that he was going to stay with them, but…
…well, what else could he do?
He couldn’t bring the others with him to the next anchor. That, Normal’s known since Scary convinced Link that the easiest way to help people would be via breaking the anchors with hate– surely, surely, they’d question it, but nobody did. Nobody did, and now Normal can’t trust them, and… and he might not be special in the way he had always wanted to be, but he still owes it to the Doodler, to himself, to break the other anchors in peace.
And it’s not like they notice. Normal winces when Scary casts fireball – that’s his house she’s about to burn down with her overleveled magic – but he’s already committed himself, and with a quick silent apology to Taylor and Link, he slips off into the living room, where Hermie is leaning against a wall, eyebrows quirked.
“Oh, now you notice that I’m here,” Hermie snips, eyes narrowed in a way that has Normal want to bury himself into the ground and never get up again. “About time–”
“-I’m really sorry, Hermie, I just… I needed the others to forget about you, so I kinda ignored you on purpose this time,” Normal admits, staring at the ground. “I had to make sure they didn’t hear you.”
Hermie doesn’t say anything– when Normal finally glances back up at him, his lips are all pursed together, and he’s tapping his foot like the explanation is still not quite enough– which, fair.
“You said you know how to go to the goofs realm yourself,” Normal elaborates, and he tugs at his sleeves, wondering mildly if his own heartbreak is still written all over his face. “I… I can’t trust the others anymore, but I’m really, really hoping I can still trust you. And we can go together.”
“Wow, Normal, that’s…” Hermie pauses, and then, to Normal’s surprise, he grins. “Devious. Tricking the others like that… so that you could have me all to yourself… I can respect that.”
At the phrase all to yourself, Normal finds himself involuntarily flushing a bright red.
“If I help you, you can never pull something like that on me ever again though, got it?” Hermie sticks a finger directly in Normal’s face, and Normal can’t help the shuddered breath he takes– he’s sure that his panic is very, very visible, much to his own embarrassment. “You’re asking a lot of me, leaving my uncle behind like this.”
“I’m pretty sure Taylor is your nephew, not your uncle,” Normal points out.
Hermie only shrugs. “Same difference. You’re lucky you’re cute and I want to meet my other father. And… maybe it will help, having you there. Like you were with… Jodie.”
Right. Because that went so well. Normal grimaces. “I promise,” he says, “I won’t forget about you again. I don’t want to.”
“Good boy,” Hermie croons, and in one swift move, he draws from one of the pockets in his trousers, revealing his phone. “Okay, so. I’ve been getting these text messages ever since we landed in Hell.”
Normal hears shouting from the other room. It’s getting hot– they don’t have much time. Gritting his teeth, he peers over Hermie’s hands, glancing down at the screen as Hermie navigates to his message history; a string of random numbers and various messages.
(909-855-5152): ARE YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES IN IMMEDIATE DANGER? CONTACT US FOR FULL PROTECTION
(909-502-2328): HOT NEW SALE ON WEAPONS! CALL US NOW!!!
(909-764-8574): HURTING? DR. NOT ME HAS THE PERFECT CURE FOR YOUR AILMENTS! CLICK THE LINK FOR MORE INFO:
“I can’t be sure, but… I just have a feeling I could probably contact… whoever is sending these,” Hermie says as Normal reads over his shoulder. “It’s kind of more of a hunch, but… I have strong feelings about it.”
“I…” Normal hesitates. He wants to say that he trusts Hermie. Really, really! He does! But as he glances behind him warily again – as he remembers how Link and Scary both hadn’t trusted him, betraying him time and time again, the way he had just been shattered and hardly anyone seemed to care.
But Hermie had cared. And he had been angry at Normal’s own negligence, and…
“I trust you,” he finally finishes, and despite himself, he clutches at Hermie’s hands, taking comfort in the warmth; he’s always been someone grounded by touch, and especially now when he doesn’t have anyone else. “But we should hurry.”
“Right.” Hermie glances down at where Normal’s hands cling to his own, but if he thinks anything of it, he doesn’t say so. Instead, he clicks one of the messages, and, with shaky fingers, hits the green call button.
For a moment, the phone rings and rings and rings and the house is growing warmer and warmer and from somewhere, Link shouts… something, and if Normal concentrates hard enough he could hear Taylor too yelling, and it takes more effort than he’d like to tune it all out, but if he thinks too hard about what he’s doing he’ll stop, and he can’t stop, not now, not when–
–the receiver clicks. Hermie inhales, and Normal holds his breath as they peer at the screen.
“Oh my, who could it be? You’ve reached none other than Scam Actually!” a voice says cheerily, and Normal exhales in a giddy rush of relief. Besides him, Hermie has gone pale again; like he hadn’t actually expected this to work. “To whom do I owe the pleasure?”
Normal gently nudges Hermie. “Talk to him,” he whispers, and gives the most encouraging thumbs up he can muster.
Hermie nods, and he too sighs, his hands shaking. “Scam,” he greets, “it is… Hermie. I believe you are my father.”
“...oh, how delightful!”
“And this number promised me… safety if I reach out. So this is me reaching out?” Hermie glances at Normal, and for the first time since Hell, Normal watches as the unfaltering confidence Hermie has all the time falters– for a moment, he just looks like Normal, the feelings of being unwanted and discarded there in his eyes, and Normal frowns.
“I see, I see. Oh my, what a curious situation you’ve gotten yourself into… oh I must know more. Come along!”
Next to them, a swirling portal rips through the air, shining yellow and glittering. More colors swirl inside the vortex, and it looks… creepy, but no more dangerous than the portal to Hell, and as Hermie tucks his phone back into his pocket, they both stare at the portal for a moment.
“Ready?” Normal asks, and he slips his hand into Hermie’s own, squeezing it for good measure.
“Yeah,” Hermie nods, and he squeezes back.
And then – as the rest of the household remains oblivious – they step through together, hand in hand.
#kasey writes stuff#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads spoilers#normal oak#hermie the unworthy#oakworthy#BTW obligatory uhhhh#normal is not in a good headspace rn#and he's making some questionable logic leaps and judgement issues#i don't actually believe some of the things he says here! i felt the need to clarify that#i do believe that Normal believes them though. which is a different thing. so i wrote him accordingly
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hi mod! you are the person i know who knows and is most excited about fish, and my favorite way to learn is to ask people whose passion and delight i am already familiar with. i know this is stuff i could find digging around on yt or search engines but it is just less fun and often less informative. but ofc feel free not to answer if you don't have the time/energy etc!
i am coming to realize that i would really like fish (after attempting to convince my wife that he would like them and then they pointed out that it kind of sounded like *i* wanted the fish and well). but i am very chronically ill (spend most of my time laying down in bed) and also poor. i'm worried about not being able to take care of them well enough.
assuming i restrain myself (that is don't deep dive into habitat design or breeding or anything beyond just having some guys to spend time with while i'm stuck in bed) what are the daily, weekly, monthly things i'd have to make sure got taken care of? are there ways i can simplify or automate tasks while not sacrificing their care?
OR do you know of good places where people have already talked about this, or other people who love fish a lot and might wanna share their knowledge?
my partner is also suggesting a plant&snail tank instead of fish but i'm even less sure how to approach their care needs!
watching you get into fish reminded me of how much i love them (had some when i was young but was not primary caretaker). it's good to see you make creatures so happy.
well thank you for reading and i hope you are having a good weekend!
ahhh weeee haha fish ask fish ask
there's definitely ways to make mega low maintenance tanks! what you're going for is overfiltering, understocking, and planting as much as possible. I'll go over those points. this got mega long so i'll put it under a cut.
overfiltering basically means bumping your filter up a size. if you have a 10g tank, get a 20g filter. this will reduce how often you need to maintain that filter. I'd recommend sponge filters, they're by far the cheapest option and imo easiest to maintain. you'll need the sponge and an air pump. i see a lot of mega reduced amazon sales for the tetra whisper air pump. depending on how dirty it gets you're looking at every 2-3 months taking it out into a bucket of clean tank water and squeezing out the gunk.
in that vein, you wanna get as big a tank as you can. seems counterintuitive, but the more water you have, the more stability. the less maintenance. so if you wanted a 5g for a betta, consider getting a 10g. if you want a little 10g nano school, get a 20g long. if you want a 20g community, get a 40g breeder. whatever's gonna fit in your space. my best recommendation for tank size is 20g long, it gives you sooo many options without being massive. if you're in America the cheapest way to get a tank is wait for Petco to have their quarterly tank sale. otherwise look for something on the local market.
now onto understocking. basically pick animals that aren't gonna shit that much lol, and put in less than can technically fit in the tank. the snail tank is a definite fun option, as long as you're sticking with pest snails and fewer large snails (big snails have a big bioload, even bigger than most fish). a planted 10g with a variety of big snails (a mystery, a rabbit, a nerite, etc), pest snails, and a few amano shrimp, would be fun and extremely low maintenance. you'd even have the option of trying some fancy shrimp, tho they might breed like crazy. if you want a tank with fish instead, i recommend getting a school of a tiny species like chili rasbora, ember tetras, pygmy corys, basically anything that stays little so you can get as many as possible without a big bioload. for schooling/shoaling fish, the more the merrier. absolutely do not get live bearers. no guppies, no mollies, no platys. that's the opposite of low maintenance. shit machines that will multiply forever, don't do it.
now. you know i love my bettas, favorite fish, but i'm always hesitant to recommend them. they're wonderfully personable but the caveat is that it seems more and more they run into health problems as they get commercially overbred. it's luck of the draw. you might get an easy buddy who can survive anything, or you'll get a sicky. most of the time my bettas are super low maintenance and rewarding, but when they ARE sick, it's hard. it can be daily water changes and treatment for weeks, and sometimes even that doesn't help in the end.
so with that said, my dream low maintenance tank stocking would be 20g long with 4 amano shrimp, 1 mystery snail, 1 rabbit snail, 1 nerite snail, and a school of around 15 nano fish (I'd do either chili rasbora or celestial pearl danio cuz they prettyyy). OR i'd just have a centerpiece in that big old tank, like 1 betta for the whole tank or a pair of sparkling gouramis. fish choice is definitely too much to get into for this post lol.
now third point, planting the crap out of it. this is where things can get expensive. i really do recommend investing in this step at setup, but try to cut costs by buying from local sellers, or even seeing if people are giving cuttings away. the lowest maintenance plants are ones that don't require trimming, like crypts, buce, anubias; these plants are gorgeous but they don't filter water that well. faster growing stem plants and floaters will REALLY help to filter the water, but require more maintenance via trimming and replanting stems (monthly) or removing overgrown floaters (weekly). hornwort and guppy grass are great options for something fast growing that you can just chuck in a tank, no need to plant. what I'd most highly recommend for the sake of lowering maintenance is adding some pothos cuttings coming out of the water. terrestrial plants are much better at filtering water than aquatic plants because of their direct co2 exposure, and I've had the most success with pothos! i also love a spider plant in water.
some other money specific points. for substrate, you can use rinsed play sand and/or pea gravel from a hardware store, but you would need to add nutrients if you have things planted into the substrate. you can add root tabs (api root tabs cost about 8 bucks a pack, but you need to replenish them every few months) or a small layer of aquasoil at the bottom. (aqueon has a little bag of shrimp/plant soil on amazon for i think 12 bucks). and the one thing you shouldn't go cheap on is the heater. their failure is more dangerous than other hardware because they tend to fail ON, aka they cook the water. you wanna make sure you trust it. the cheapest heater i trust are the aqueon preset submersible heaters, also frequently on sale. or you can forgo the heater and commit to only "cold" temperature livestock; the snails and amano shrimp idea would be fine w/o a heater.
labor specific points, once it's cycled (which can take weeks, during which time you'll do literally nothing to the tank) and stocked, it'll depend on how fast those plants eat up your nitrates on how often you do water changes. for me, i do 25% every two weeks on my 20g. it could probably stand to have more since mine is pretty overstocked but fish are ok to sit in slightly higher nitrates as long as they're used to it. when testing, i do recommend the api master test kit. it's more expensive than strips but way more accurate and it's lasted me longer than 2 tubes of strips. if you don't want to buy the test kit, just do water changes as often as you can. every 2 weeks if possible, then you can try pushing to 3 weeks, or even monthly.
get a water siphon to make it as easy as possible. empty water into a bucket on wheels so nobody has to carry anything. you can also look into getting a submersible pump with a long enough tube that you can empty water directly into the nearest drain, then to refill with clean water put a bucket in the sink with tap water, put the submersible pump in that bucket, and run the tube back to your tank, adding dechlorinator directly to the tank beforehand. just be careful with this method if you have small animals at risk of being caught in the siphon.
also, some people with planted tanks don't do water changes AT ALL. they just top off as water evaporates. what i do some would consider overkill, but i'm so frequent with my water changes because i have really hard water and there's this thing called old tank syndrome that can happen if you only top off, and yeah that's this other whole spiel lmao BUT not doing water changes IS possible, people have success. just not me!
so monthly tasks; rinsing sponge filter every 2-3 months. weekly tasks; depends on how often you decide to do water changes. daily tasks; feeding, frequency varies depending on livestock, but i basically feed once a day. if you're going for a self contained ecosystem low maintenance dealio, feed as little as possible. i know of people who do this and sprinkle in food weekly or less. i don't have experience with automatic feeders, but i'm wary of them lol, they could be totally fine, idk. it's better imo to just feed infrequently than risk the auto feeder dumping too much food.
to wrap it up, i'll be real with you, setting up something that's as low maintenance as possible while working with budget constraints is hard (at least in my area). this hobby is notoriously expensive, especially when you're just starting out. you need to see what the local market is like. see if there's fish hobby groups in your area that can help you with spare supplies and plant trimmings. your partner's idea of a plant/snail tank might be the best place to start! as far as other resources, the fish subreddits have soooooooooooo much info.
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Akane despite saying that this new gift is better, her expression says the opposite as if she was in denial with herself. In other words, he himself doesn't seem to be very confident with the watch keeper's decision, even though this new reality seems perfect. We both know that there is no perfect reality, not for Aida Iro. So what I wanted to know was if you think that this new reality has something wrong hidden or probably the guardians of the clock did something very bad in this reality
Hi! Thanks for the question.
I agree, I think Akane is trying to convince Teru that this new present is a good thing as much as himself during that scene. To accept the new present is the easiest choice, after all, and his superiors (who he respects) were the ones to select it. But the reality is this present is not and was never theirs. Their previous lives melded them into the people they are today and they would be losing themselves by embracing this new one.
I think it's possible that AidaIro will go the simpler route, and show that there is bad in this timeline, too, which can already be seen by Nene's love, Hanako, being taken from her. We still haven't seen Akane talk to Aoi yet, either, and I theorized before that Aoi has regressed to a worse version of herself (the person she was before the Severance) and I can't imagine Akane truly being satisfied with a present like that.
But I would personally like the "badness" of the timeline to be something more subjective. Let's face it: Hanako living and becoming a teacher isn't bad, is it? Neither is Aoi being a normal high school girl with working hands. You can make arguments that they're better, even. And I think that makes the dilemma more interesting than if, say, someone died in this new present. (...and that someone isn't a person like Tsukasa who everyone basically dislikes *painful laugh*)
I think AidaIro could go either way, and I can't deny I love the innate horror of a seemingly perfect reality revealing itself to be something entirely not...it's just we already did that with Picture Perfect, did we not?
So I'd like them to do something different. And I honestly don't think it's bad for Nene to reject this new present purely because it's not hers! Or anyone for that matter. Her experiences made her who she is today and she wouldn't trade that for the world. I think that's admirable. ♡
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Hi Hiryur-san! I don't know why, I seem I'm fell in love with ur works when I saw it
Can I req luxiem members hc (or whoever you pick if you focused on fic) with ptsd s/o? I was stuck in this situation a while ago and need some comfort, ofc you can ignore this if you aren't comfortable. Thank you
❝...You're safe.❞ (PT. 1)
┆GN!Reader x Luxiem (Vox, Mysta, Luca)
┆┆Angst/Fluff (HCS/Short Fic??)
VOX AKUMA
Vox was, and is, by no means a genius. But, given his age, he knows enough to know what's happening. Seeing you trying to make yourself small as possible, seeming tied between moving away from him and running, or pressing yourself as close to him as possible.
The mall was.. definitely crowded. So much was happening, he couldn't even begin to fathom what might've triggered you. Could it have been the loud band playing? Maybe the play somewhere in the background? ..But what triggered it couldn't be the demon's concern right now. Vox had to get you away from these people and to a place of silence.
So where did he pick?
...A janitor closet.
His arm slipping around your shoulders, guiding you through the people, rubbing your back. "Shhh.. i'm here. You're safe with me, you'll be alright.." His lips were right up against your ear.
For a few long moments, you stayed like that. In his arms, hyperventilating. Vox was silent during that time- before beginning to talk softly. Hands running up and down your sides, keeping your head pressed against his chest. Only once before had he seen you like this: and, he had learned the easiest way to calm you was by talking. Giving you something positive to focus on- which currently meant Vox was- being, well, Vox. The voice demon. His voice soothing you slowly but surely.
After you had finally calmed down, Vox slowly began to kiss away your tears, hands cupping your face. "You're.. safe with me, darling."
MYSTA RIAS
Yeah.
Mysta was still getting to know you: having only recently begun dating, intimate and private knowledge was slowly being shared at a natural pace. Neither of you wanted to rush things- so when Mysta had invited you on the trip out on the water he didn't see anything wrong. It was a group get together with the boys and some of the girls, on a giant ass boat. When he noticed your jitters- he had assumed it would've been because of the fact there'd be so many people you had yet to meet in person. Because Mysta was a bit jittery, too.
But, he was quickly corrected, when it became clear with your deathly fear of the ocean.
Barely an hour in, Vox had been trying to convince you to get into the water. And you nearly did- but as Mysta watched you staring over the edge, he noticed it.
He noticed it, because your signs were the same as his own.
Which led to Mysta drawing you away to the cabin quick as humanly possible for him. "Heyy, darling, babe, light of my life-" he mumbled, hands on your shoulder as he stared into your terrified eyes. Heart aching, his arms wrapped around you and pulled you close to him. "Im.. sorry. Didn't know ye were- ahh." Your grip around him tightened, sobs becoming audible; and he'd never once felt more helpless in his life.
So he sank to his knees with you, inwardly panicking, hugging you close. Allowing you to cry on his shoulder as Mysta held you. Word weren't near enough- but through his touch, you felt safe. Grounded, in a way.
"I've got you, babe."
LUCA KANESHIRO
"...Sweetheart?"
Maybe it was a mistake. Bringing you with him. Sometimes it was easy for the mafia boss to forget you weren't like him: weren't used to blood and death and the trauma his targets caused, or went through.
He forgot you weren't supposed to be involved with the mafia.
So seeing you, white as a sheet, hands gripping Luca's arm to a painful point- he realized maybe allowing you to see such a bloody mess was a bad idea.
Anther thing: he knew nothing of your past. It had just never come up- you'd never spoken about much past who your family was and odd memories, and Luca never pried past that. It wasn't his business, and he had complete faith that you'd tell him any bad information when you were ready.
It clicked in his mind immediately what was happening. The terror in your eyes. A large, gloved hand gently grabbed your head and pulled you into Luca's chest, fingers massaging your head and other arm wrapping just under your waist, picking you up with ease.
He barked an order to his men, but it fell on deaf ears. Terror was overwhelming you; your fingers gripping his shirt and head buried into his chest. God, how did Luca handle this? That sight.. Oh god. You felt as though you were going to vomit.
Before you knew it, you were set on a couch, and Luca was knelt down in front of you, hands on your sides, and staring up at you with his signature smile. But worry glinted in his eyes, seeing your frozen body. Even though your eyes were angled at him, it was as though you couldn't even see Luca; your mind still lingering on the scene he had caused you to witness just moments before.
Which left the boss struggling, mind racing in desperate attempts to figure out how to distract you. "Hey. Sweetheart. Look at me, 'kay? There's nothin bad here- just me! Unless you, yknow, count that I'm a big and evil mafia boss.. Legend, super evil, scary, yknowww the stufff."
As you can tell, Luca resorted to trying to make you smile.
He continued to talk, fingers brushing up your arms, crouched in front of you, until he finally, after so long of talking, getting you to focus, focus on him, run your fingers through his hair, Luca got a smile out of you.
Eyes growing serious, yet filled with love..
"I've got you, okay babe? You're safe here."
A/N: Im really glad you like my writing!! Im not 100% sure if this is what you had in mind, or if i portrayed it correctly.. but i did my best!
I kinda combined "short fic and headcanon" together.
I'll only do 3 characters a post-- but I'll do a part 2 with ike and shu soon! Hope you enjoy it :)
#luca kaneshiro x reader#vox akuma x reader#mysta rias x reader#luxiem x reader#vtuber x reader#vox akuma#mysta rias#luca kaneshiro#ike eveland#shu yamino#ike eveland x reader#shu yamino x reader#shxtou#shxtou x reader#noctyx x reader#noctyx#iluna#iluna x reader#tempus x reader#luxiem x you#luxiem fluff#luxiem angst#niji en#nijisanji en#nijisanji#nijisanji x reader
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Rotating BDTA-John in my head, and it's leading me to ask... why does he paint? And why paint, rather than write or sing or something else?
this is a really good question! it prompted a long conversation, but we didn't come to an agreement, so here are various perspectives.
"Having left the education system as a form of rebellion, it seemed obvious to him that he must pursue an artistic career of some nature. I think he is a painter because he has isolated himself from the world in trying to hide his inhuman nature, and it is easiest for him to pursue a career path where he is not required to make many public appearances and where he is expected to be somewhat skittish and eccentric. As a musical performer, he would have much more difficulty hiding his wings."
“honestly he probably could have been a writer and it wouldn’t have changed much, to tell you the truth the others are giving all these sensible watsonian explanations but i’m 95% sure it’s because we like describing fictional works of visual art”
“shut up it absolutely would have changed things, him being an artist adds to the epistolary form by contributing even more implied content— in the same way that there’s all these interpersonal interactions which must take place but aren’t written down, the descriptions without the presence of the actual images add to the sense that we as readers are not getting the full story. this is especially blatant in we never really learn, with that image description”
“my take is that he has to be some sort of creative for this story to work, because so much of it is about perception & a lot of his Issues are about how he makes so much goddamn money by drawing his deepest traumas and people eat it up. but actually we started thinking about this because of the trends in modern poetry publishing. so that could’ve worked. so i think it’s mostly for the epistolary stuff”
“he could not be a singer because part of his tragic backstory is having loved to sing as a child but having that joy taken from him because he didn’t sound human enough. the simple childhood pleasure of singing a duet with yourself strangled by shame and self-hatred and despair”
“there's also a historical explanation for this— BDTA (the first fic, not the series as a whole) was written as a reaction to some AUs we had with a friend & to the subsequent acrimonious parting we had with them. it's actually kind of spiteful; we wanted to write something better and more interesting than they ever could have come up with. we've moved beyond that in writing the rest of the series, but john was a painter in the AUs with which BDTA is in conversation, so he's a painter now."
"okay this has no precedent, i'm just making this up, but it's super convincing + sad + creation is about constant reinterpretation, so bear with me. john, as a child, was very sad and fucked up and coped with his alienation from his peers + from childhood as a whole via a) reading too much and b) drawing too much. so by the time he's a teenager he's already fallen into the pattern he exhibits as an adult of drawing tortured eldritch characters as a form of emotional self-harm, and when he drops out of college + loses access to his previous viable career path art is both his only other major skill + something he can't stop doing even if he tries."
"honestly, this is making me interested in a take on BDTAverse where john is a fiction writer and alex is a freelance artist. (hey, you know what would be super fucked up? if The Photo hadn't been released, and alex drew for magazines and people kept asking him to draw john's suicide attempt)"
"anyway! i think he paints as a compulsive thing, because he has so few emotional outlets, and doing art about it has been pretty much the only way for him to manage his feelings for a lot of his life. (he learned, as a child, that there are correct emotions to have and if you don't have the right ones people will be mad at you, so talking about it has been out of the picture for a long time.) and once he doesn't have other career plans, well, he's going to be painting fucked up stuff anyway, might as well sell it"
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Hi! I'm really interested to hear your opinion on this. Why are people so resistant to the idea that celebrities, to put it bluntly, lie? Even if it's not about someone they stan. It should just be common sense. I'm so frustrated with people taking what celebrities say at face value. And if you dare to suggest that they do, in fact, lie, for whatever reason, people often start acting like you're the stupid one. Like, take Taylor for example. Why do a lot of people simply refuse to engage with any evidence we have and just decide that we're delusional. Because "she's always dated men and is dating one right now". They refuse to even entertain the possibility of these relationship being fake. And it's especially frustrating when it's coming from other lesbians, who call Taylor "the most heterosexual celebrity ever". What is stopping them from just listening what "those crazy gaylors" have to say? How do you break through this denial? I'm just ranting at this point because I was just talking to someone like that, and it's so annoying when people treat you like you're insane without actually listening to you😔
Hello! That is such an excellent question, and it has so many layers to it. But I think the two most prevalent ones I'm going to discuss are parasocial relationships and news media literacy. Warning, this is LONG!
Firstly, let me say that I don't advice to ever try and convince anyone of something that is not a widely accepted truth when they haven't asked to be persuaded. People need to be open-minded and willing to see other people's views and reasoning, in order to come to new conclusions, if they are not in that ready mindset, you're only ever going to get rejections. I'm not a Jehovah's witness, I have no interest in convincing anyone if they're not interested. But if someone came to me saying, 'Hey, I saw xyz and that seems suss, what's your opinion...?' Then I know I have their attention and they are open to listening to my interpretation and the evidence I present to them. If we come to different conclusions, that's fine, but at least you've taken in my reasons for why I believe what I believe. And I'm an academic at heart, academic discourse is ever changing, if new information comes to light, I may change my opinion.
Media Literacy and what we believe about the world
It's sad and shocking perhaps, but trust in reputable news media is at an all time low since 2020 in many developed countries. In a time where raw scientific research was influencing political decision making 'hot off the press', many people lost faith in science because they mistook scientific discourse and peer review as 'changing your mind'. Following the evidence where it leads, can always mean finding something you don't want to see. And that happened a lot during the pandemic. So, while I'm frustrated, I'm not surprised that so many people turned to types of media outlets that would bring them more comforting (if less reputable) news. And we're only three years past that now, I think the general populations' thirst for comforting news is still high, especially when we only see war and destruction everywhere we look. So what we choose to consume, shapes how we see the world, and with more and more people consuming information on the internet, the algorithm keeps them in an echo chamber of those existing views. Now, here is where celebrity culture comes in. Celebrity news are often gems of good and engaging news media, because they evoke emotion that unites people behind something. Celebrity gets married - everyone is happy for them. Celebrities break up - everyone is sad for them. Celebrity cheats on partner or commits some other crime - they are now universally hated. Very simple, gives people an easy way to build a belief system and moral compass on who/what is good and bad. It's also the easiest way to form an opinion on someone who you most likely won't ever meet in person. Now imagine someone coming in with an opinion that challenges those truths that you've built your believes on. You'd most likely get defensive, right? Accepting even the possibility that the truths we accept about the world are based on incorrect information, and therefore might need changing, is very daunting. For everybody. I teach information literacy to Undergraduate students for a living, and even I sometimes have to take a step back from research when the evidence is leading me somewhere that makes me uncomfortable. We all have biases and we like to be proven right rather than proven wrong. Or we might find something that would require us to take action on something. That's a lot of work though and ignorance is bliss so finding information that doesn't fit into our biases and ignoring it is also very common. It's all in the name of protecting the pillars of what we believe to be true about the world. So, to answer your question 'Why are people so unwilling to believe.../unwilling to engage with the evidence': Because they have a lot to loose. One thing that changes might lead to a lot more questions and before you know it, everything you thought was true collapses like a house of cards. You can't be the wrecking ball, people have to pull the cards out for themselves when they're ready. And the biggest celebrity in the world right now being a closeted gay woman? That wouldn't just be about Taylor, it would be a statement on the state of LGBTQ equality/freedom and how far we've supposedly come.
Parasocial Relationships
Ok, here is where we get to Taylor. Because a lot of people's first line of defense is the line 'But she wouldn't lie to us!' And why do they think that? Because she has, maybe more than any other celebrity, cultivated a relationship with her fans where they feel like they know her. But the fact is that they don't know HER, they know the version of her that she has carefully constructed to be her public-facing persona. Parasocial relationships are those where you can't have a true social interaction, because the person you're having it with is either fictional or you don't know them personally. It's a one way conversation. But Taylor has blurred the lines of this so much by engaging with her fans online, meeting them after shows and even inviting them into her house at secret sessions. You almost can't blame little swifties for believing they're besties now when they've met her in person and they've actually talked to her. Or the people she sent presents to for Christmas back in the day. That's something only a friend and not a random stranger would do. Taylor bases her public appeal hugely on relatability, and what is more relatable than feeling like she's your friend, right? And sadly it’s a lot more hurtful to imagine that your friend would lie to you than a random stranger. So, the version of Taylor that meets fans in person and invites them to her house and sends them presents, she would never lie to them. But that version isn’t real, it’s a fictional character built to protect the real person. Real Taylor lies through her teeth to protect what’s sacred to her. All the kids that were invited to the rep secret sessions and came out with stories of cute couple photos of her and Joe and a mission to tell everyone that those songs are about her bf and her bf only… I hate to tell you but you were used for free damage control. Imagine how hurt you’d feel if that was you and you thought you’d met your hero. I have no illusion that Taylor somehow cares about me. We’re not friends and if I ever met her I wouldn’t expect anything more than the chitchat I exchange with my uber driver. (In fact, I recently had a dream that I met her on a bad day and yelled at her 😬)
Compromise or Live and Let Live
Hopefully I’ve given you an idea of why it’s hard for anyone to let go of something they want to believe in. And it may be best to let people believe what they want as long as it’s not hurting others and they’re respectful of other opinions. There may also be a middle ground. E.g. in this context, a lot of people are much more willing to believe that Taylor is bisexual. So it’s possible to acknowledge her queer flagging without immediately calling all her previous relationships into question. I’ve had some lovely respectful discussions over lyrics analysis with people who don’t necessarily believe exactly the same as me. I can respect that others find comfort in stories that I believe to be untrue. I'm sure I also find comfort in things they believe to be untrue. Whatever brings people joy is right for them. If that's gushing over Taylor dating the boy on the football team, let them, that's why she's doing it. I would only argue if the same people don't extend that same curtesy towards us and let us be happy when she looks up at Karlie a million times during a show. And educating people is always allowed. Just because a woman has only dated men doesn’t make her straight (that applies generally, not just to celebrities). Just because you don’t know what queer flagging is doesn’t mean it isn’t happening and other people are picking up on it. But a majority of people will always buy the stories she sells them, and that's because she gives them what they want to see. Like she said in the documentary about what she feels the world expects from her: Live out a narrative that we find to be entertaining, but not so crazy that it makes us uncomfortable.
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i have npd or something like it but i really have trouble with the notion that narcissism is something that you can like, normalize in the way some other mental health things can be normalized or accepted. i just dont understand the thinking behind trying to get people to be more accepting of npd when the main symptom of it is treating other people badly. it feels pretty natural to avoid or dislike people you know have been diagnosed with a thought disorder that, intrinsically by definition, means you tend to treat other people with disregard or worse. i wouldnt expect anyone i told about my diagnosis to stick with me.
THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE. I COULDN'T EVEN KEEP MY SEMI-FORMAL MANNER OF SPEECH THE ENTIRE TIME. ANON IM WARNING YOU AHEAD OF TIME I AM NOT NICE IN THIS RESPONSE <3 IM SICK OF ABLEISM
the notion that someone having NPD instantly means they're going to treat others poorly by default is in and of itself ableist. that is an ableist stereotype. i literally know people with NPD who are explicitly nice and helpful on purpose because they want people to like them and think highly of them. treating others poorly is not "the main symptom" of NPD, at best the "main symptom" or core of NPD seems to be self-esteem dysregulation.
anyways read this post it basically explains in detail what i don't have the time or energy to type out.
btw, if you have NPD or something similar and your personal experience has been that you treated others poorly. erm. L? i don't know why you're projecting that on every single other person with NPD💀 your experience isn't universal at all?? the most helpful and kind person i know has NPD????? like yes it's true people with NPD usually struggle with relationships but struggling isnt automatically equivalent to being toxic or abusive nor is that struggle exclusive to NPD
also NPD isn't a thought disorder???? NPD is a personality disorder, thought disorder is "a disorganized way of thinking that leads to unusual speech and writing." what are you defining a thought disorder as? when someone has thoughts that aren't perfect pure and moral? why do you think thoughts automatically equal actions? i have plenty of severely fucked up thoughts because of my disorders that i don't act on
like i dont mean to doubt you but are you fucking sure you have NPD or anything actually like it? because honestly you dont seem to have an idea what the disorder actually is?? like genuine question were you just diagnosed and then they didnt explain at all what that meant? or did they diagnose you based on really fucking ableist ideas???
im sorry this response isnt nice im just so sick of having to over and over again convince people i am not an abusive heartless monster to every fucking person i meet. i do not abuse my loved ones. i am not always the nicest or easiest person to be around but because i have people who actually understand my disorder and want to communicate, we're able to work through it.
"i wouldnt expect anyone i told about my diagnosis to stick with me." please work through your internalized ableism. do not come into my ask box and imply the people i love would have the right to abandon me just because of a disorder i got from severe nonstop childhood abuse and neglect that i have zero control over because you think it automatically makes me an abusive nightmare. good day.
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Savage Sunset Choose Your Own Adventure 4
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Story masterpost
All entries in the CYOA
You are a new vampire hunter. Your primary motivation is curiosity... You want to learn more about vampires. These mysterious creatures that terrorize humanity. Becoming a vampire hunter is really the only way to do that... Maybe that's what Nick did, to learn more.
Unlike Nick, you work in the field. You had a close-call with a vampire in your past. The only thing that had saved you from that fate were the hunters, and now you're one too, to protect others from having to experience that. That's a secondary reason, but... it does feel good to do something noble, and to protect others, even if you're here mostly because you want to get closer to vampires. What's the harm in sating your curiosity while you're at it?
You're partnered up with Felix. He seemed the nicest out of all of them, the easiest to work with, although you're honestly a little worried if he has the stomach for this line of work or not. Abbey and Brian pair up with each other and leave you alone, although they're still working at the same branch as you.
Felix tells you Nick is doing experiments on a live vampire to make the guild's vampire-hunting equipment more effective. Apparently it's been working very well and is keeping more hunters alive and safe, but he's heard from most of the other hunters on the base that it involves basically torturing the captive vampire that Nick has in the basement.
You feel guilty about that. That's horrible, even if it saves lives. Felix doesn't seem particularly happy about it either.
"Yeah, that's... pretty bad, right? I don't feel great about it, but I've heard this is a particularly bad vampire, even by vampire standards. Still, I feel like nothing justifies torture, you know? It's not what I'd prefer, but if it saves lives....I dunno. Well..."
"Don't let that get you down, I'm still looking forward to working with you. I think we'll make a great team! We're gonna protect a lot of people, and we fight vampires. We're not gonna do anything horrible like that. Let's just focus on the job and keeping each other safe, all right?"
@aceouttatime
@annablogsposts
@cc1010foxy
@darlingwhump
@emcscared-whumps
@nicolepascaline
@oddsconvert
@pigeonwhumps
@pumpkin-spice-whump
@some-thrilling-heroics
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how often does ahri actively use her magic to charm people ? how do you think it differs ( or is similar ) to evelynn's ability to charm people ?
» — ⌜ALWAYS ACCEPTING QUESTIONS ABOUT AHRI⌟ ,
— @windchaser
hi mars ily
so let's get to the questions in parts
how often does ahri actively use her magic to charm people ?
ahri can be very charming without using her magic — she learned certain mannerisms or the way you talk can get you far without needing magic. as a result, magic is her go-to only when that doesn't work; but that doesn't mean ahri holds back much from using her magical charm.
she'll use it whenever she is in danger (or someone else she cares about is!), as she does in a fair trade. if she's trapped or cornered in any way, it's her easiest way out and she has no qualms about using it. but it doesn't take something as extreme to lead her to charm someone, far from it. in perennial, she uses her charm to convince people it would be okay for her to bring a bodyguard to the inn should she hire one, after they tell her they don't want anyone dangerous there (:peepostare: at them telling ahri that but anyway). in the ruined king game, she uses it to convince the innkeeper to accept their money after he refuses it — but also to get yasuo a drink.
by which i mean to say: could this problem be solved some other way? probably. but it'd be inconvenient, so she chose the most convenient route and simply used her charm. same for perennial. but the added request for a drink for yasuo also suggests to me there's no moral dilemma involving the use of her charm at all, because she's not above asking for something trivial. which, to me, indicates she'd use her charm very liberally, whenever she wants or needs something and that's the easiest way to get it (even if other solutions might not be that complex!).
she has no qualms about using her magic like she does with consuming someone's spirit essence. i guess because she doesn't see it as harmful (she's not using it to hurt anyone unless they're trying to hurt her), even if it is coercing someone magically to do her bidding. because she thinks her requests are reasonable or it's self-defense, she doesn't see the harm in it. and as a result, i think she uses her charm fairly often. not all the time because most of the time she's able to charm people without magic, but if charisma isn't enough, she won't hesitate to use magic.
how do you think it differs ( or is similar ) to evelynn's ability to charm people ?
i believe their charms are alike in that, due to being magical in nature, everyone can be affected by it — romantic or sexual attraction is irrelevant to it. but while eve's charm seems more... focused on making people attracted to her (or at least it's more often used in that sense?), ahri's seems to be a more general influence. very... siren song, in a way, that isn't just about making people attracted to her, it's more about making people want to do her bidding, regardless of what she's asking for. but i could be wrong about eve's charm, i admittedly don't know much about it and how it works, if we have this information at all.
but yeah i think ahri's charm is not necessarily tied to making people attracted to her, it's about compelling people to do what she wants because they're left in this trance
in both excerpts, the description of the charmed people isn't in any way that they're in awe of her or drawn to her in any way. they're motionless, almost stunned — the focus is their will is not their own, and they're pliable under her hands for her to get whatever she wants to ask for. so i figure it might differ from eve's in that. because while she can use it to make someone act as if attracted to her, i don't think her charm inherently makes that happen.
#» out of character — ⌜main sup irl.⌟#» character study — ⌜as the seasons change so do i.⌟#thanks for the ask i adore you mwah
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Oooh, that's an interesting interpretation :o! Especially that I've personally always imagined the exact opposite! As in, physicality tends to be the easiest way to "even out" social "ineptness", for the lack of better word. Most people, when lost on how to form out a positive verbal response (be it thankfulness, sympathy, etc.) AND make it feel unmistakably genuine, tend to just default to simply touching one another. It's also the easiest to "internalize", like, in this particular example, say, recognizing that a child clinging to his forearm seems to find the act somewhat soothing, hence he could probably enhance that, by patting them on the head, or something. And Takaya, specifically, always strucked me as someone who just couldn't care less what is happening to his body, as long as he doesn't feel invaded or threatened, so if hugging somebody gets him out of an emotionally uncomfortable situation, then it's a non-existent price to pay. But also genuinely interesting polar opposite interpretation on your end and I am very glad I sent that ask. Have a nice day :3
(( Hmmm!! Interesting, interesting... I think I see how we're getting the opposite interpretation here! Which is totally valid, because Takaya is just so mysterious in the original game tbh! But unfortunately--- I desperately want to elaborate and you have activated more rambling in me I apologize ahead of time lmao.......
See, I don't think Takaya is socially inept, since apparently Atlus describes him as being "charismatic" and convincing people to his cause, like a politician. He's emotionally inept. And only about his own emotions. Very big difference. He may be weird but he makes it look on purpose if that makes sense lol. He's the cult leader archetype, extremely unusual to most but somehow mesmerizing to the lost and downtrodden. As he says " People hear what they want to hear. " He's emotionally... opportunistic, if manipulative isn't the word, not simply because he's evil but because this is how a traumatized man hides behind 20 layers of smokescreen and emotional disassociation. Takaya holds his head high and aims to be untouchable by tragedy, which basically just means he fears being vulnerable. He does not grieve, he just rationalizes away the need for emotion and calls it acceptance. So basically, his way with words is HOW he gets out of unwanted situations.
He can talk to a dying child and tell them everything's going to be ok and this was meant to happen because words are just words to him, he'll say whatever you need to hear. But that facade cannot endure real request for closeness. He MUST keep his distance. He's charismatic, convincing. But to be so vulnerable and saccharine as to open his arms to actually embrace the child? Suddenly that's much too real, suddenly they're something tangible that is dying and he is losing them-- that's risking real attachment in a world he won't be in for long. Takaya is the wrong lesson to learn from death and loss, he is apathy, and so he cannot heal someone else in that way touch does, he has to talk them into simply not needing that comfort. He has to talk you into his death cult. He can't be a warm presence in the same way the protagonist learns to be. He doesn't know warmth. He's cold as death. If he tries to hold you now, you will immediately see exactly how cold he is, how bitter it is to be held and then let go. But if he decorates despair in poetry and flowers, he can keep you at an arms length.
Takaya doesn't care about his physical body, very true, he takes awful care of it as evident by his appearance. In fact I even headcanon that he has an apathy based eating disorder, but-- that's all due to his depression and being a reckless masochist tempting death lmao. He'll take a million beatings, smoke since he was 16, skip a few too many meals, but he won't accept a hug. He won't accept the touch of another person unless its to push him away.
.... ANYWAYS thank you for enduring the essay if you read that lol-- I hope you have a good day too !! ))
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#12 Shota Aizawa x Nakano Kaneko
'Sunglasses off...'
Honestly, just got into this anime after i binged Naruto (because of Kakashi, why else, for the plot? Nah.) And Aizawa? Nice. Really something for someone with a soft spot for teacher/student fanfics. So yeah. Maybe it becomes a Multi-Part story...maybe not. Honestly, i hope it does, but no promises, as always. Now, have a "Prologue"
__________________
"Sunglasses off in the classroom, cool kid..." Your new homeroom teacher told you with a lackluster yet stern voice, already moving towards you to probably take it off your hands.
Unfortunately, you couldn't give them to him.
"I can't..." You reply easily just as lackluster, having heard the same complain from your last teachers and similar people. "You can't or don't want to?" He asks in return, now standing in front of your desk, arms folded in front of him. Why did you have to choose first row again?
Oh yeah, because your eyes are jack shit with these damned glasses. Also, unfortunately, you still can't take them off. You're still trying to convince your parents to let you go back to the eye doc to let you get better ones.
"A bit of both. Kinda don't want to go blind mid-Academy years...just when I might become a hero afterwards." Your parents would be too proud of their own Hero-History to accept their youngest child becoming a failure in their bloodline because of a birth and a "useless" quirk that's become "defect". "Kinda don't wanna ruin my future."
His already flat eyes squinted at your "rebellious" response, as your parents would call it before lecturing you for another thirty seemingly unending minutes, before he gives a dry and somehow almost intimidating chuckle, "Usually it's wearing sunglasses indoors that ruin the eyes of kids nowadays... Hand them over, you get them back at the end of the school day...if you're working hard enough."
If the room's lights weren't so bright that your glasses adjusted themselves to be basically entirely non-see through, he would be able to see you squint back as you scowl, "I won't." "First day and you're already being such a handful, kid..." He sighs out, sounding more than done with your shit already, "Wanna know what i do with kids like you? Expel, no questions asked."
He wouldn't even ask for an explanation on why you wore your glasses? Actually, he probably wouldn't care or believe you anyways, that's what this man sounded to you like. Like an asshole.
"Without even asking for the reason I'm wearing them?" You try anyways, aware that the whole class was now eyeing you, the new foreign student. You came from a different "hero school", from abroad. America had their own heroes too after all, like the rest of the world. But you're Japanese anyways, just not born here.
"Well, looking at you, probably to stick out more from the masses as the weird new kid. But, you know, enlighten me, i guess..." "My eyes are photosensitive or light sensitive, florescent and or bright lights and especially daylight...it feels like it burns my eyeballs straight from their sockets. Even now, they maybe don't hurt me, but this room's lightning makes me fucking nauseous..." It was the easiest, simplest way to describe your condition and suddenly his demeanor seemed to...change? For a second he almost looked sympathetic beyond his tired "why am I here again?" gaze.
Instead of continuing his strict demand on your protective gear and his talk about expelling you within the next few minutes, he nods and turns his back on you, "In that case, you better show your worth in the first test today. I will determine if you're still a viable Option in becoming a hero nonetheless, just like with every other student in this room. If not, no glasses will save you from losing the possibility of ever becoming an official hero."
Your eyes — slightly bloodshot from accidentally looking out the window this morning without your glasses — widen. He wouldn't dare, not after you aced your entry exam for foreigners! You were the best of your group!
You would show him just how strong and resilient you are!
"Actually, we're wasting enough time already, get up and follow me. Said test will be held NOW." Mr. Aizawa, as he formerly introduced himself, led the class out into the hallway of the building and all the way to the changing area for the outside training grounds. Filing into the female changing room with the rest of girls, you open the locker with the key — that you had been given with your other school equipment — that had the same number on it. Surprisingly they actually had provided you with the right clothing size...one plus point in regards to your former school in NYC.
"H-hey...my name's Ochako...i, well...i just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your... condition?" The slightly timid auburn girl suddenly appeared at your side. Had you activated your quirk, you would've sensed her beforehand. But you didn't, so you basically jumped right into your closed locker, ramming your head full force into it with a shout, "God fucking damnit, OW!" You curse as you rub your head, quickly fixing your glasses before you accidentally looked at the painfully bright locker room lights. "Yes,...ngh...also nice to meet you. But don't do that again. Please." You reply, squinting as you hoped you didn't dent your locker. You didn't, thank the gods.
"I'm sorry about that as well. It won't happen again!" Little did you two know, it would become a common problem.
"But about my condition... there's absolutely nothing to be sorry about. It's part of my quirk, it's a quirk defect. I was "born" with it." The girl looked at you with surprise, "I didn't know people get quirk defects that affect them outside of using them...what is your quirk anyways?"
You're about to explain it to her when a strong knock against the opposite door leading onto the training grounds pulled you from your short conversation. "Hurry up, we don't have all day. You won't have it in a battle either!" Mr. Aizawa shouts impatiently through the closed metal door, it being your cue to shrug at Ochako, "Guess you'll see it in action first..." Excited, she nods, "And you'll get to see mine!"
Giving her a thumbs up as your non-vocal agreement, you tag onto the group of girls at the very back, trudging out of the locker rooms with even less enthusiasm than you thought you would have. You had already finished your second year in America, but due to differences in teachings between the two countries...well...your once again stuck in year one. So all this "We'll test your quirk's strengths" shit was old news.
Bakugou was, as you already figured out within the first minutes of being stuck in a room with this idiot, a real handful. Nicely said of course. Your real opinion was a bit harsher but also still very surface-level. Maybe he turns out to be a good person...no matter how idiotic.
So of course, he boastfully went on about how he would rock this test, absolutely break the records and all that stuff. Mr. Aizawa in turn gave him the opportunity to show that he was actually capable of backing up his quite big words.
By using his quirk, Explosion, he threw 705.2 meters. You choose to remember his distance, already making a mental note to put everything you had in your cells to beat his distance. No matter how basic your current opinion was about him, about basically everyone of your classmates actually...if you could show someone their place, you would. A hero that thinks too highly of themselves, even boasts about it, they will never turn out well. You have witnessed it before, watching these people change to the worse and sometimes even changing teams...
Even if your quirk is strong, don't push it into other people's faces, mock them if they got weaker ones or even demand to fight on your own in case "the others might get in your way".
The first Station was the 50-m dash. Easy enough, you thought. You were last on the "contestant" list, letting you easily make note of everyone's quirks, quickly also noting that Midoriya seemingly didn't show any attempt at using his quirk. Then it was your turn for the first time.
Activating your quirk, you hear someone's quiet and shocked gasp behind you. Due to the deeper, mature tone to it, it had to be Mr. Aizawa? Was it your quirk's "give away", as people called it? Maybe because it looked similar to his? Floating hair, floating scarf (Though it wasn't like his, it was a normal one.) it was a telltale sign of yours and as you had researched Japan's pro heroes two months ago, his apparently too.
But you couldn't let that destroy your concentration, you needed it right now for your quirk. 'Hyposensibilty, Muscles! Cell Control Feet and Legs!'
Getting into the starting position, you look to your right, your opponent was ironically Ochako. Did she just...sparkle a bit?
Ignoring it for your quirk's sake, you waited for the signal.
Go!
Behind your glasses, which you could've discarded with your quirk now active, but you don't have time for that, your eyes focused on your goal in 50 meters before you lifted your body from the ground, running off.
You easily left Ochako in the dust as you sprinted towards the goal, passing the line, barely able to catch yourself as your mind planned subconsciously to continue running.
"4.10 seconds." You heard the machine tell out loud as you finally managed to take a turn back to the group, losing down to a more relaxed jog. But you didn't deactivate your quirk. If you did now, you'd be too exhausted in your legs to continue for the next station. That was one downside. Both of your two quirks worked against you, being the subtle cause for you various hypersensitivity problems.
"Holy crap, Kaneko, you're really quick!" Kirishima exclaims, Bakugou huffing annoyed behind the actually really nice redhead who cheered you on. You blush just a bit at the kind words, scratching the back of your head, "Thank you, Kirishima, but you weren't bad yourself...". Ochako came up behind you, panting just the smallest amount, "I didn't think you were that quick, quicker than Bakugou too!"
Said blonde eyed you with certified anger in his eyes. Oh you were going to have so much fun... hopefully. You still hated the test itself, no matter what. It's still a waste of time.
Next was: Grip Strength!
Everyone was handed a device that they were supposed to grip as hard as they could, basically. Having long reset your quirks strengths in your lower body parts, you now gave your needed arm the same treatment, forcing your muscles to go to their current limits and using your other quirk to desensitize said muscles and to lift the strain they would be put under due to that. Taking the device in your hand, you flex your muscles as you grip it.
276 kg.
Apparently, from reoccurring grunts from the explosive Blondie, better than his number, again.
Moving on to the next trial, you did the same as before, once again strengthening you leg muscles, specifically your thighs, but also your stomach and back muscles to keep your balance mid jump.
With just some small stagger, you managed to clear the box, barely keeping upright as you almost ate some of the rocky ground, Ochako eyeing you in fascination and Mr. Aizawa seemed to slowly get over the fact that you wore "sunglasses", your results seeming to impress him a little bit even. From all students in class, until now you could use your quirk(s) for all test stations, something that would bite you in the ass later on. Yet your strategies wouldn't change, as your Quirk was just too adaptable and you even had two more aces up your sleeves — though very dangerous, especially for yourself — that you're currently training to be more versatile and under your control to alter as you wish.
Your next station to pass was repeated side steps, which had quickly been cleared by you as you sped up your body's adrenaline production and the reaction speed your brain's cells needed for the station. Mineta of course was much much faster than you with his odd...balls, bouncing in between them. But at least you left a certain fuming someone once again in the dust. The next station turned out to be the infamous Ball throw from the beginning of Bakugou's slow downfall.
Taking the last ball, you test its weight by shorty throwing it up into the air and catching it again. Medium to heavy weight, not unbalanced in any area. It was going to be fairly easy. Focusing, as many times before, you take your favored stance for throwing objects before launching the ball far...farrrr away.
900m.
Unified gasps from your fellow classmates went across the training grounds as the machine called out the result, a slight smirk appearing on you usually relatively neutral face. You had a real good day today and ate well in the morning, perfect to show what you're capable of.
Cleaning off your hands from shortly before touching the ground, you turn to Mr. Aizawa, "I'm done, i believe? What comes next? The sun is fucking torture." The black haired teacher had a one-sided grin for the split of a second, something only you seemed to witness, "Eager, aren't we, cool kid?" He asked you, with the same stupid nickname from before before he waved everyone to follow him for the last few stations. Those, you also went through with ease. As expected, since you had gone through a test very similar before after all.
Even now that all tests had been over, you kept up your quirk and your glasses too, now long too lazy to pocket them. You didn't need everyone to see how you felt after using your quirk. Not yet. How it used you and your energy up, no matter how well you had it under control, other than Midoriya apparently.
The list was via a hologram. On the top was your face and name, then came Momo Yaoyorozu and Shoto Todoroki. Only after them, you saw Bakugou's face. Holding back a childish and definitely girly giggle, you continue down the list, smiling when you saw that Ochako did well enough to not land last place.
No...that place...that place was reserved for none other than Midoriya, who broke his finger with his own quirk. He had to learn how to control it, quickly too, Mr. Aizawa had been rough but right so with his words when he first erased his quirk as Midoriya went to throw his ball.
Guess that was it for the poor green head, right?
"But no. Nobody gets expelled today. Lucky, huh?"
You seemed to have tuned out when Mr. Aizawa spoke to the class, now only able to dumbly stare at him from your place behind some of the others. Something he apparently didn't miss as he threw his clipboard straight against you sweaty forehead, almost taking off your protective glasses in the process. "Learn to listen, kid...and the test is over, you can deactivate you quirk now. Or do i need to help you out with that bit?"
Oh god, please don't let him erase your quirk right now, not in front of everyone! "J-just give me a hot minute, Sensei!". Though he was definitely the type of person to just say "no." coldly before simply deactivating your quirk for you without asking, he no longer seemed to want to do that with you, not after the test. His demeanor seemingly shifted for you after you showed your potential. "A minute, not any longer. The rest, go change, classes are over for today." The more excited kids cheered, running to the changing rooms while the more down to earth ones calmly did the same.
Once the last student disappeared behind the metal doors and said doors closed, leaving you alone with your teacher, you quickly deactivate your quirk, coming to regret that immediately.
As you hair looses it's floating abilities, you lost you ability to stand as well. The pain you felt right now was nothing like the kinds you felt after training all day on high intensity or after fighting in you old school. Be it villains or test battles against classmates or teachers. Nothing to truly worry about.
The current level of pain was describable as a mid-level full body cramp. "Fucking...BITCH!!...ARgh.." you grunt, fisting against the hard and slightly dusty ground, your eyes squeezing shut immediately in reflex when your glasses fell off your reddened face. Your legs and arms subtly went on spasming as you hear Mr. Aizawa coming closer with his heavier steps.
"I was already wondering what your quirk's drawback is. After all, everyone has one..." He did sound a bit concerned after all, no matter his words, as he kneeled down next to you, "But the real question, is it controllable, like Midoriya's—" "No. It's the quirks' natural backlash. The more i strain my body using it, the more it hurts me back physically afterwards... that's why I don't deactivate it too early, if i do it before my fight is over, i would be at a terrible disadvantage." It was the sad truth, you own quirk could get you into the hospital. Which it already did various times before.
Nonetheless, it may not be controllable but it's very well trainable. The tougher your natural muscle structure is, the more strain their cells can take. And that includes everything you're made of, everything your body produces to make you a human like anybody else, bones, muscles, nails, teeth and so on. When you first began training your quirks for hero school in NYC...you broke down every time you had finished normal Training, sometimes spent hours in the stupid infirmary.
"But I'm training to...to lessen its blow on my system." You claim, trying to control the ongoing cramps with mostly success. Yet at some places it felt like a knife was buried right inside your body, twisting and going deeper. It was nothing against what you had felt before. "You're very strong, Kaneko—" "So...you do know...my name!" You interrupt him with pants in between, hearing his annoyed grunt in response, "Stop interrupting me, kid." "No..." You reply flatly, slowly sinking to the ground at the same time, finally feeling the integrity of your cells in your body reach normal levels again.
Hearing you glasses move from their place they fell at, you first mumble something incoherent into the floor, "Give them back."
"Anything else than your eyes that is sensible?"
Was that just a lucky guess, curiosity or did he know that it couldn't be JUST your eyes?
"My whole body is a hot mess with the quirks' i possess." "Plural? What even are they? The foreign student files still haven't been given out to the teachers by the Principal. And because of that profile existing and being official too, you have never been asked to fill out the one of the UA. You're mostly a mystery as of now, the only identification we have to make sure you are you is with DNA, your picture, name and your current residence."
"Hyper-/Hyposensibility and Cell Manipulation. They work in tandem, a bit at least..." The ground tastes like dirt. Not much of a surprise. But the unfortunate mouth full of dirt of course didn't sate your now adamant feeling hunger that grew with every minute passing of your body regaining normal Levels. "So you're mostly changing you own body...is there anything to your quirks that give you long range attacks?"
His questioning went on for a little while, until he finally stopped, sounding quite tired, giving you back the one thing that actually kept you from leaving him and his interrogation — Or more, his analysis. — your stupid glasses. "I've heard enough. I will give you some one on one training, if you think you need it. And here, your sunglasses." "I don't need this extra training, I'm NOT Midoriya! Until now i have been capable of training my drawback on my own quite well, what even makes you think you're able to understand my situation, Mr. Aizawa!?"
Shrugging at your little outburst and ignoring your in fact rude behavior towards a teacher — just for today, he tells himself foolishly — he turns on his feet to leave you to your festering own, "Just think about my offer. You don't have to take it, forcing you into it wouldn't be of use. In that case, you would get the same treatment as the rest. Now go home and rest up, i can't have you down in class tomorrow, kid..."
He was probably right with that though, you should head home as well like the others. But you also needed to train a bit more if you wanted to lessen your quirk's blow some more. Which was something that had time for another day.
When you went into the locker room, everyone else had already gone home, after all a minute easily became 10 minutes with your cramps and Mr. Aizawa asking you out about your quirk.
Your way home was quiet and the sun beamed down unrelentingly, even your glasses bearing only just enough safety. As you enter your home, you throw your door shut.
"I'm home..."
No reply.
Right.
You're all on your own.
All alone.
"At least no constant reminders..." You mumble, walking into the small kitchen connected to your living room that also was your bedroom. Remembering to open your balcony before you began to cook — otherwise you and your bed would smell of beef for a week again — you open your fridge with a goal.
"Mhhh, Salad with Teriyaki Beef Strips...if i got enough left after eating diner, i can take some to school with me tomorrow..." Talking to yourself had become something of a bothersome habit with absolutely no one around you. At least you now had the school, people to talk to.
As annoying some might seem, they are better than your empty four walls that only listened but never could reply. They sent you all on your own. The only things that reminded you that you weren't actually a bloody orphan right now are the monthly payments your parents managed for you, like rent and water/electricity money. And some monthly allowance that did get you around somewhat.
But they made very sure that it was JUST enough so you could eat properly and buy all school utensils you needed. Never more. After all, you're not here to enjoy yourself, you're here to stop bringing shame to their hero names for being the runt of the litter...
Your two siblings...they both inherited your mom's and your dad's quirks. One of them hers, one of them his. And you? Not even similar. And they all let you feel it the moment your quirk showed. Before that, you had been the little princess, treated equal to your older siblings, had even some very happy memories, but those stopped after you turned four.
Letting your anger out on the lean beef cutlet sitting on your cutting board, beating it soft for further use, you shake in your spot. Even now, they still managed to get to you, even though they didn't even bother calling to check up on you...
"Why...why couldn't I be like my siblings?"
Taking your sharpest knife — one of the many things you had to buy off your allowance on your own by literally begging them to send you a bit more for that month — you cut the meat into fitting strips for your unfortunately "Ready to use" Teriyaki Sauce. It was probably loaded with sweetener and other stuff that didn't belong in good Teriyaki based foods. But it would have to do until you saved up for fresher ingredients.
You made a habit of taking down every yen your parents sent you onto your bank account to give the illusion that you used it up at the end of the month. But in reality you saved up everything you didn't use that month. That's for example how you bought yourself more fitting lightbulbs for your eyes, they don't hurt your eyes — if you don't directly look at them of course.
When you finished making your salad, you take a plate and dump a certain amount on top with two juicy, protein-rich beef strips before moving to your couch, oh how you missed it! While you ate, you also began to digest the curiosities of people you met today. Especially your homeroom teacher. Mr. Aizawa.
He thought he could understand your quirk from day one, that he could help you handle it. He wasn't the first to make that mistake. You gave one of your teachers the benefit of the doubt before him...
As nice as it sounded to maybe actually have found a mentor for your difficult abilities...it most likely would end up being just wishful thinking. Everything always ended like that.
But what...what if you gave yourself another chance? If you actually gave your new Sensei a chance? What if he got hurt...you surely would get expelled, your parents would be now fully sure of you having been a waste of time, money, love and food. They...they would definitely abandon you.
Just as they promised you if you failed the school.
Tightly gripping your fork at that nauseating thought, at them, you growl before ejecting it from your hand with enough force to find its metal prongs stuck in your undecorated white wall of your similarly empty living room. So empty.
"Fine." He wins, you'll let him try to mentor you. Anything to not be left for dead in a country you barely knew but apparently belonged to...
Anything to no longer be called a waste of space.
__________________
#MHA fanfic#MHA Aizawa x oc#MHA Aizawa x reader#Aizawa x oc#aizawa x reader#My Hero Academia fanfic#12#Aizawa x student oc#aizawa x student reader#Shota Aizawa
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hi hi hi! here is my little plot call for the event. vry quickly put together so this may seem a little scrambled but pls bear with me. this will def get edited randomly as i continue thinking throughout the days. feel free to leave a like if u'd like to plot something for the event <3 or lmk if one of my ideas interests u and would like a starter
december 11-14
jinri's one of the early arrivals against her wishes at the four seasons hotel. it's very likely to run into her there, or during/on her way to or back from one of her spontaneous night escapades.
will be at some of the offered activities because it's "for her image" and potential connections. more likely to be at the art classes, second likely are the wellness activities, and third is anything food related. she'd rather not do things in big crowds which is what she does during the night. might even catch her at any other muse's event if she so feels inclined to stop by.
might catch her potentially songwriting (or attempting to) in her free time. (she's at a weird state in her career where she feels like she has lost her way since she's not constantly working on something, so she's grasping at straws here..
vibes are casual small talk and brief conversations during the day, but at night she's more casual, esp if you catch her outside. the 12th, 13th and/or 14th may be filled with her doing fan events idk yet but i'll update this when i make a final decision.
some thread/plot ideas (can be adjusted): in art class and jinri gets emotional and maybe sheds a tear or two over art / being used as an excuse for jinri to escape her manager and then being roped into whatever plan she has / going on a tour and jinri attempts to convince the other to join her in leaving to do their own / simple running into each other in passing / past friends taking advantage of being in the same place and finally hanging out.
december 15
once again, she annoyingly early arrival to the gala so she might not be in the best mood near the start. after the ceremony she'll be mingling and be all over the place so high chance of seeing her or even chatting with her.
occasionally stops to just enjoy the music throughout the event. the easiest time for anyone to approach her since she's not on the move. once she's exhausted she'll be settled for the night near the bar. likely internally struggling with the decision to drink or not.
some thread/plot ideas (can be adjusted): someone convinces jinri to drink (intentionally or unintentionally) / jinri really likes the song being played and asks for a dance / sat next to each other during dinner and jinri's spacing out. / jinri loses her prized possession and is silently panicking trying to look for it.
december 16-17
if u guessed she'd be at the resort in chiang rai, you'd be correct.
jinri isn't too ecstatic to be participating in a campaign for the resort, but what choice does she really have when she's supposed to be "rebranding" herself. once she's done she's running as far away as possible from the cameras.
tbh, this is probably the one night she completely lets loose. this is probably the easiest time to talk to her, but also potentially the most aggravating since she's likely not taking anything seriously.
i envision potential budding friendships or the strengthening of old ones as she'd have a group of people she hangs out with for majority of the time they're there?
far, far, very far stretch! but since it's likely she got wasted that same night, there's also potential for jinri to have started shamelessly flirting and say things she definitely regret. i don't know but this could be an interesting angle to play out and develop further.
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have you ever had a period in your life that you were away from music? i know some people don't have the habit of listening to music every day, but i've never been like this and i can't even imagine this to me, music is part of my life 24/7, even when i feel really apathetic, it's the only thing that remains unchanged... but for a week now i haven't had urge to listen to music :( and it makes me really sad, i go through songs on spotify and i'm like "no, no, no, no, not in the mood, no" i'm worried because i'm afraid that my life may be permanently like this in the future, what if i become unattached from music, what if i have no time to listen to music :( i fear that i lose interest in the biggest thing that keeps me going, you know? and i'm not even gonna detail how i feel worried that i'm not listening to bts, when listening to them every day is like the best and easiest way to feel them close, so i keep thinking "what if i'm distancing from them?", "what if i forget how to sing a song?" "what if i forget the rhythm" which isn't true at all (and it'll never be) and i keep seeing everything that comes out, but those thoughts don't stop :/ i hate this. i hope this will pass and that probably hobi's new collab will bring me back to music 24/7 again, especially to BTS' music
it’s interesting that you ask me this because I just rambled in some tags yesterday that I used to be someone who didn’t really listen to music a whole lot, that only changed a few years ago. I’m a visual person through and through I think. But putting this aside, I think you put too much pressure on yourself, love. Please don’t condemn yourself for your current needs like this. So what if you fall out of (certain) music? That’s absolutely okay. Past you might have needed it quite a lot, but present you might just need something else right now. Maybe a different kind of media/ art, or just silence. And music will always be there, so you can come back to it whenever you feel like it again. It won’t judge you for not listening to it for a while, it’s only you who does. You put that big important label onto music, but you’re also the one who can rip it off again and put it onto something else (or maybe trash it for once and all, because there are so many things which can keep you going as well, I’m sure of that). It seems to me that you painfully try to clutch onto something here that won’t go away once you loosen your grip on it a little bit. Darling it’s okay if all those things you now fear happen, be gentle with yourself and don’t regard it as something to be scared of in the first place, but rather just a change of perspective, direction, or maybe simply taste. What are your hypothetical answers to all your hypothetical questions? Because I’m convinced that nothing bad would happen if you’d forget how to sing a song. Again, no one would judge you for it, just you would right now. Don’t punish yourself for changing. Growing out of things is as natural as finding something new, that’s part of you growing 🤍
#I sound like a wannabe therapist … this is really just my personal subjective opinion and I’m sorry if I sounded rude or anything#you’re just being so hard on yourself it’s really not nice to read :(#I truly hope everything will be easier for you soon and that you can find joy in many little things again#anon#long post#annie’s mail
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