#''neither. alas i do feel disadvantaged in staging such a covert scenario... ok we can try again''

[worstloki]

thor and loki faking thorki to help each other out of arranged marriages

y e s

#thor and loki fake dating or secret dating and bluffing are simply always good ideas #thor and loki like 'okay i dont like this either but we're going to have to kiss' and then making 5 different shades of annoyed faces after #''thor you idiot of course we have to practice no one is going to believe us if THAT is what we're caught doing'' #''that we have to be caught at all rankles me brother'' #''easiest way to convince people of something is make it seem like something you don't want to convince them of'' #''...i will concede that'' #''if you have any better ideas i will hear them. i simply do not want to be married off to her.'' #''neither. alas i do feel disadvantaged in staging such a covert scenario... ok we can try again'' #''wonderful. don't expect me to open my eyes this time either'' #''where would it be best to hold you from?'' #''you did kiss sif did you not?'' #''no??? you kissed sigyn????????'' #''she kissed me!!!'' #''do you have any advice to share?'' #''dammit im going to see if the library has anything'' #sorry i cant pick up the phone rn im thinking about loki and thor staging themselves to be caught kissing in alcoves by servants #and they're normally close anyway so maybe they play of errant rumours or something and keep staging things successfullt #and slowly building their way up until. like. idk. frigga walks in on them practicing on how to pretend they're having sexcy times??? #but she doesn't even notice they're practicing to fake it?????? #she's like oh they're trying to hide it and they're talking through things bc they're young and dont know what to do etc etc #and she just. doesn't do anything???????? if anything she's like 'oh they're happy 😊😊😊 i'll be leaving now 😊😊😊' #thor and loki who just wanted the rumours to get to those they were engaged to but now All Of Asgard Knows #bonus points if that's not even a turnoff for their fiancés #this is peak comedy