#''someday i'll carve my name there.'' SCREAM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faetreides · 1 month

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i'd really like to know if he'd have any types of kinks or a type?!!

like from what I've read from you, maybe it's just my impression, but does he find chubby people more attractive? (self-insert hihi)

or just kinks he'd have; like, modern!coryo screams corruption kink (maybe even a virgin!reader 👀), and things like degradation/praise, as well as a pretty big dom situation 👀

anyways, love your stuff!

I can't help coming back to your modern! coryo au literally everyday, I'm in love 🫡🫠

CW: implied-ish plus sized reader but i use “chubbier” so it’s a bit ambiguous i guess but that’s how i picture them, don’t like don’t read

First of all, thank you so much for loving the au, it's kind of getting demotivating a bit to see the fandom slow down but I'll ALWAYS have modern! coryo brain rot. So, I guess someday I'll be shouting into the void lmao.

I do think that when it comes to preferences, he does prefer chubbier people. He's one of those guys that likes being able to just really grab and slap anything and everything because you've got more than enough meat on your bones. Also, idk how to quite explain it, but I think he enjoys what he believes is a more realistic (?) body, like he'd deadass get so offended if you thought you had to shave or cover up stretch marks. He comes from a very superficial world where the beauty standards are impossible to achieve (edit: i’m NOT talking about being skinny being impossible, i’m talking about general beauty standards and having an unrealistically proportioned body like the ones in media, i’m aware that skinny people exist) . It's like how for a while, Aphrodite and other similar goddesses were depicted in media as very skinny but when you look back at how they were actually worshiped, there are statues and carvings and etc. with belly rolls and all kinds of versions of bigger bodies. That's what reader's body reminds him of, gets him feel closer to God and all that.

I'll get to some actual kinks in a second, but I do think he likes more of a reluctant person. He's someone that is built for the chase and that really revels in the wooing process, he'd never been in love before you, so the rush of intense feelings kicks his adrenaline into overdrive. It's a sort of predator/prey thing without being a full-blown kink, Coryo stalks and he circles around you until you're given such a small window of escape that you already missed your chance by the time he decides that he's done waiting around. You have the whole cutesy 'will they? won't they?' thing going for a bit until you just don't anymore.

In my head, modern!coryo's reader is a virgin for that exact purpose lol like he does have a fuck boy past that's typical for his place in society, so I just love the idea of sex suddenly becoming so "special" to him now that he's possessed with the need to mold your experience around him so you could never be satisfied by anyone else. I think he'd want to keep some of that shyness and insecurity no matter how much experience he gives you, so he can reassure you and praise you and tell you to suck on his fingers so the stretch of his cock won't be all you can think about.

He does favor praise over degradation but when he does degrade it's more... positive (???) in his eyes, calling you dumb because he wants you know you don't have to be smart, saying you're his slutty whore because he wants you to feel comfortable enough being as nasty as possible with him, etc. No matter what name he calls you, he's adding 'my' in front of it. The words will be the same, but his tone will change based on if you're driving him crazy (basically if he gets jealous for no reason again)

I also think that's he way more of a Dom type, he'll never go into extreme type stuff and he's more of a gentle Dom depending on the situation that led up to you fucking or making love. My modern!coryo is never going to let you have more control than letting you ride him (and you always end up getting tired, so he has to take over, which he is more than happy to do!). His control issues are severe like they are in canon, he's exhausted trying to hold himself back from just losing it on everybody. So, having a stress toy of an s/o that he can micromanage and love without limits does wonders for his mental health.

He's obviously obsessed with spanking/LIGHT impact play. The only bruises you'll get will be from him squeezing you too hard or littering your body with hickies, he'd bite you to pieces too but he likes to think that he has some sense of decorum.

He could get behind silk bondage, whether it's patterns on your body or spreading you out on the bed with your ankles and wrists tied to the bed frame. But he wouldn't do it because he wants to keep you from touching, he just wants to love you properly without you hurting yourself because you got shy and squirmed all over the place.

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haledamage · 11 months

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Nora Gray - playlist

Eleanor's playlist already has 22 songs on it, so it's probably time to share it 😁 Nora is, as always, my MC from Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction 💖

track list (plus lyrics) under the cut:

Southern Comfort - Larkin Poe [Roadtrip] Blacktop, down in the ditches / Hitching a ride back to where I'm from / Catching secondhand smoke or a greyhound bus / Pretty or not, baby, here I come / I had high hopes, it was all downhill / Life flying by, like I was standing still / I’m a little nobody from the middle of nowhere / Gotta get home, I know I will

In The Woods Somewhere - Hozier [???] I clutched my life / And wished it kept / My dearest love, I'm not done yet / How many years / I know I'll bear / I found something in the woods somewhere

Trouble Finds You - Juliet Simms [???] Tonight darkness finds you / Right behind you / Say your prayers / Tonight trouble finds you / It's inside you / Say your prayers tonight

California King - Larkin Poe [???] I've got a funny feelin' / Somethin' that I missed or misread / My feet are on the ceilin' / Runnin', but I can't get ahead / I've got a funny feelin' / Honey, is it all in my head?

Take The Journey - Molly Tuttle [Fernweh] Skies are falling all around you / Who will protect you from your deepest fears? / Take the hand of the one besides you / Let the fire guide you 'til the path is clear / Take the journey / No matter where it starts or where it ends / Take the journey / Someday you'll make it back home again

Round Here - Counting Crows [Fernweh] 'Round here, we're carving out our names / 'Round here, we all look the same / 'Round here, we talk just like lions / But we sacrifice like lambs / 'Round here, she's slipping through my hands

Hard Learned - Tyler Bryant & the Shakedown [Nora] And all I know has been / Hard learned / The scars I wear, you can best believe I earned / Hard learned / Say a prayer for me cause the devil don't seem concerned

Dead Weight - PVRIS [Nora] If I start cracking at the center, all this goes away / I'm staying numb to my feelings, dodge 'em like novocaine / My back is breaking from taking all of this dead weight / All give, no take / Do you even notice / How easy you got this? / Taking wings off a goddess / If I'm being honest

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish [Nora] I tried to scream / But my head was underwater / They called me weak / Like I'm not just somebody's daughter / It could've been a nightmare / But it felt like they were right there / And it feels like yesterday was a year ago / But I don't wanna let anybody know / 'Cause everybody wants something from me now / And I don't wanna let 'em down

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane [Nora] I came across a fallen tree / I felt the branches of it looking at me / Is this the place we used to love? / Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

You and I - PVRIS [🤍 - General Romance] I know it's warmer where you are / And it's safer by your side / But right now I can't be what you want / Just give it time / And if you and I / Can make it through the night / And if you and I / Can keep our love alive, we'll fight

Crash and Burn - Savage Garden [🤍 - General Romance] I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you / It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold / When darkness is upon your door / And you feel like you can't take anymore / Let me be the one you call

Break In - Halestorm ft. Amy Lee [🧡 - Becca] You are the only one / The only one that sees me / Trusts me and believes me / You are the only one / The only one that knows me / And in the dark you show me / Yeah, it's perfectly reckless / Damn, you leave me defenseless / So break in

Dressed In Black - Sia [🧡 - Becca] I thought life passed me by / Missed my tears, ignored my cries / Life had broken my heart, my spirit / And then you crossed my path / You quelled my fears, you made me laugh / Then you covered my heart in kisses

As It Was - Hozier [💙 - Silas] There is a roadway, muddy and foxgloved / Never I'd had life enough / My heart is screaming out / And in a few days I would be there, love / Whatever here that's left of me is yours just as it was / Just as it was, baby / Before the otherness came / And I knew its name / The love, the dark, the light, the flame

I Should Go - Levi Kreis [💙 - Silas] And your company was just the thing I needed tonight / Somehow I feel I should apologize / Cuz I'm just a little shaken / By what's going on inside / I should go / Before my will gets any weaker / And my eyes begin to linger / Longer than they should / I should go / Before I lose my sense of reason / And this hour holds more meaning / Than it ever could

Broken - Seether ft. Amy Lee [💚 - James] I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well / I want to hold you high and steal your pain / 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome / And I don't feel right when you've gone away / You've gone away / You don't feel me here anymore

This Town - Niall Horan [💚 - James] And I want to tell you everything / The words I never got to say the first time around / And I remember everything / From when we were the children playing in this fairground / Wish I was there with you now

Move Like U Stole It - ZZ Ward [🖤 - Reese] Whoa, the world ain't ending, but it might as well be / Whoa, I'll rock you like the sea / Buildings ain't crumblin', but they might as well be / Whoa, so let's not think and just / Move like you stole it / Make your move on me

If You’re Gone - Matchbox Twenty [🖤 - Reese] I bet you're hard to get over / I bet the room just won't shine / I bet my hands I can stay here / And I bet you need more than you mind / And I think you're so mean, I think we should try / I think I could need, this in my life / I think I'm just scared that I know too much / I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feelin' / If you're gone

Power Over Me - Dermot Kennedy [💜 - Reese/James] So we hide away and never tell / You decide if darkness knows you well / That lesson of love, all that it was / I need you to see / You've got that power over me, my my / Everything I hold dear resides in those eyes

Here Is Gone - Goo Goo Dolls [💜 - Reese/James] And I want to get free / Talk to me / I can feel you falling / And I wanted to be / All you need / Somehow here is gone / And I don't need the fallout / Of all the past that's in between us

#nora gray #fernweh saga #like I've said before: nora is my mc for all 5 routes that's why they all have songs here #my girl is going through it

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mxserendipity · 11 months

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Grieving For My Past Self: Full Poem

Trigger warnings: Words alluding to past self harm, trauma/abuse, dissociation, depression, death and other mental illness. Nothing is explicit, but please stay safe anyways.

—-

Stage 1: Denial.

—-

Feather after feather I swallow,

Filling the aching void in my head.

Something light and sweet to follow,

Avoid the buried feelings of dread.

Something innocent and something thin,

A safety made of imaginary thread.

Only a beautiful daydream as I lay in bed,

for nothing is worth seeing the hole within.

A giggling child, born to run

around the skirt of an evergreen tree.

My other memories are held back by knife and gun,

I am not bound by symptoms, I am free

Nothing deeper holds me hostage

as denial keeps me agnostic.

For I am too kind to suffer and too young to die,

So I will ignore my own inward cries.

They'll say:

Spread your wings and fly away, little dove.

Out of the corners of your mind, your reality

Gather the insincerity of a foxglove,

and hide under the shade of your apathy.

—-

Stage 2: Anger

—-

White hot emotion blinds my eyes

My lungs, my throat, my cries

Oxygen turns to fear turns to rage,

As you scar my skin with words estranged

Your god should beg for my forgiveness,

After all you say they planned.

For all the gore they held witness,

They should drop to their knees and apologize first hand

His name is like bile on my tongue,

Born of a dinner much too sour

I was so eager to forget,

Yet somehow he still holds the power.

I'm drowning in my own disgust

Screaming until my lungs give out

You corrode my memories to rust,

and carve my internal drought.

You made me forget who I am,

My mind focused only on your pleasure,

You've brainwashed me according to plan,

Maybe you should have done it better.

I'm angry at her excuses,

His failure and your abuses,

But now I curse your ugly name,

and I hope to God you do the same.

For when we kill our gods before us,

Their homes of light and dark will burn.

For an afterlife made from sins unjust,

Are just cages made to imprison us.

—-

Stage 3: Bargaining

—-

Ears flattened, pupils wide

My fingers shake and creak and cry

I fantasize about a change in tide,

and I tickle my brain with hows and whys

I pull at strings long foregone,

Weaving a web for comfort's sake.

I beg and beg for a new dawn,

Anything to soothe the ache.

I poke at fears I've had since thirteen,

Lamentations now admitted.

While I scrub at skin never clean,

And pray someday I'll be acquitted.

Because denial cages the heart,

and anger burns ones throat.

But bargaining is confirmation,

and exposes candor like hives to smoke.

—-

Stage 4: Depression.

—-

Rats crawl along the streets of my mind,

Gnashing teeth and boggling eyes.

Black shadows and dirt combine,

perpetuating normality in a beautiful guise.

Never have I appreciated the rodent,

of disease and grime and fear.

But now I treasure the moment,

when the pitter-patter of paws grows near.

They swarm my corpse and follow trail,

Covering tracks with scurrying wails.

The walls sit giant and sharp,

Letting me forget myself in a rhythmic chop.

Spectators of reality hold their disapproval,

as they eye arms lined with gauze.

their gentle whispers offer removal,

but I've come accustomed to their claws.

I fear not plague or extinction,

and I'm immune to infection and fear.

My home is with pests and crimson,

and it's long resistant to tears.

so bury me in honey and milk,

that way the rats will burn with me in hell.

—-

Stage 5: Acceptance.

—-

I've swallowed hysteria like a mob,

I've picked my teeth with broken bones.

I've bartered with rage like it's my job

I've washed my body with unknowns

I've cuddled with monsters and kissed horrors goodnight,

and yet here I am, oh so alive.

I've battled with my mind and thoughts,

I've cracked and broken my brain,

I've sobbed over fears of gunshots,

and yet here I remain.

I can accept who I am and what happened,

While relearning what I've been taught.

And while I rebuild actualities imagined,

I know I won't be left to rot.

I am a beautiful puzzle,

of pieces yet unfinished.

I am a machine of heart and muscle,

something not worthy of being diminished.

I am not to blame for my past,

as I regain control of my present.

Because I can smile at last,

knowing I can let go of torment.

I am held in the universes palm,

Crafted by delicate carpenters

I have claimed my diversity and calm,

and my worth was never a question.

I am bound, but not caged

I am hurt, but not broken

I am hesitant, but not afraid

And one day, I'll walk free

and that day,

I'll never need to fear again.

#my words #my writing #writing #serendipity writes #poem #poetry #poems on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled words #original poem #poets on tumblr #my poem #poetry blog #trauma writing #writeblr #creative writing

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ayyponine · 3 years

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me, cracking open my copy of Sharp Objects

#gotta reread!!#its late may and i live p close to an abattoir/meat processing thing so when it's hot out the immersion is there baby #im rereading the copy i annotated last year and just seeing my own little scribbles and highlights is like ah so true bestie!!!!!#esp already knowing the themes n recurring motifs as well as what little details will be of importance later it's just like.. aaa here we go #some of the associations ive written down like.. poisonous caress.. doodzwijgen.. purity.. strangling intimate personal.. lotgenoot..#im like damn girl ok chill out.. the occasional jotted down ''bitch'' or ''wtf'' is totally justified though #sometimes ill also refer to other passages mirroring smth.. i see camille pulling up to the Nashes and the boy running off screaming as if #she had pinched him. ref to p122.. im like girl you didnt!! i skip to that page and sure enough it's the passage of adora biting the baby!#im like aaa girl yes hive mind! (at myself)#gets to the keene eulogy and theres a page ref next to the mom saying she'll never tickle her fingers over natalie's back again im like oh!#is this gonna be abt when camille got w john and he's trailing his fingers along the skin of her back and she feels comforted by it? :)#i look and it's adora grabbing camille and w one long nail tracing the one circle on her back thats scar free bc she couldnt reach it to cut #''someday i'll carve my name there.'' SCREAM #last time i noted whenever c patted herself on the cheek to self soothe and now i see the crellins kissing/touching each other there i. bruh #im already one third thru in one sitting but im gonna fucking pace myself bc. file under books that make me go a lil crazy in the head!!!!#also it just makes me realise how /good/ the miniseries adaption is. all the little details. the sounds. the trauma cuts. the visceral heat.#insert image of a young feminine girl shrieking i like violence!! aaaaaa bitch!!!! aaaaaaaaaaa

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ash818 · 6 years

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Oh that’s so sadistic: Jon having to watch his parents be near-caricatures of themselves. And the whole LL shtick... I can only imagine him wondering how. Or why. You know, after he’s chucked up his lunch. Welp. Abby. Nothing is written? Well, you have her name carved into stone at some point and weirdly, I thought: Oscars! But I wondered if you would. I'll have to think about that one. Actress, writer, singer...

Actually, I did kind of start writing some Legacy time travel shenanigans...

Kinda like so:

Turns out, it doesn’t hurt to get shoved the wrong way through a hole in the space-time continuum. It’s more like an unbearably intense cosmic tickle. Undignified, verging on pain, but you’d feel like an asshole if you complained too loud.

No, what hurt was falling four feet and landing in a wasteland of crumbled concrete and broken glass.

Next to me, Tish materialized in a crackle of blue fire six inches above the ground. Then she thudded onto the debris-strewn asphalt with a yelp, half pain and half terror.

“Tish!” I yelled, or tried to. What came out was more like a croak. The fall had knocked the wind out of me.

A cloud of choking gray dust surrounded us, and I couldn’t see farther than a few feet. Somewhere above us, glass shattered. I scrambled to wrap myself around Tish, and what felt like little needles rained down on my back. Glass tinkled onto the sidewalk all around us.

“What’s happening?” she gasped under me.

“Fuck if I know!”

Then the ground began to rumble and shake under us.

Someone grabbed my shoulder - a college-age kid with dark hair buzzed short, wearing jeans and a red hoodie. Our eyes met, and I knew him. It was a face I hadn’t seen in years, and never like this.

“Uncle Roy?” I half-whispered.

He didn't even hear me. He was attempting to drag me to my feet, but as I outweighed him by twenty pounds and I was clinging hard to Tish, it wasn’t going very well for him.

“Come on!” he yelled over the screech of metal and the screams echoing up and down the city street. “Let’s go!”

Tish scrambled up with me, and we followed him to a little square of green half a block away. With a jolt, I recognized it as Washington Square Park, on the east side of the Glades. But it was surrounded on all four sides by hulking public housing projects, which couldn’t be right. A strip mall bordered Washington Square. There was an Ethiopian restaurant in it.

Then the earth shook beneath us again, and all three of us crumpled. I covered Tish’s head and as much of the rest of her as I could, and we pulled up handfuls of grass, clinging desperately to the heaving ground.

When the tremors finally stopped, the first to his feet was Uncle - no, not Uncle Roy.

This guy was not my Uncle Roy, though he would be someday. This was Roy Harper.

He found a patch of my shoulder that didn’t have glass embedded in it, and he laid his hand there. “Hey, you’re kind of cut up.”

God, he even sounded different. I remembered his voice a whole octave deeper.

Sitting up next to me, Tish stared at him.

He knit his brows at her. “You all right?”

She nodded mutely, and I was grateful for her silence. My brain was whirring a thousand miles an hour, and we didn’t need to say the wrong thing before we understood the situation.

“You caught some glass too,” Roy said, frowning and reaching for her left arm. All along the back of it, where I had left her uncovered, her skin was studded with red. He mustered up a smile for her, and it was startling how soft it made him look. “I guess he missed a spot.”

The viscerally terrifying rumble had been replaced by the wail of sirens, and the night was bright with firelight and flashing blue reflected off columns of smoke. I cleared my throat. “We need to get out of here.”

“The New Basin Canal bridge is closest,” he said, turning on the spot to orient himself. It was difficult in the wreckage. With every other building half-crumbled in the streets, nothing looked familiar.

“Yeah. If it’s damaged, we move on to Almonaster.”

Roy gave me a strange look, but wordlessly he helped us to our feet. The skin of my back pulled, and the fabric of my shirt pulled harder. It felt like getting stung by a bunch of wasps all at once.

It was not a long walk to the New Basin Canal through the roiling dust, but it took a subjective eternity. Twice we rerouted around blocked streets, and three times we stopped at the sight of a hand or a pair of shoes in the rubble. Dug them out. Couldn’t do anything for them.

So it was almost a nice change to hear someone yelling for help.

There was no discussion. Roy didn’t ask us to follow him to the half-collapsed corner store. He just veered right and gave us a purposeful look. We went to work clearing debris from one window, and our hands were scraped raw by the time the owner and her two grown sons crawled out. All of them were bleeding from somewhere, and the shorter guy had a concussion, but at least they were walking wounded.

Dazed, they fell into Roy’s wake just as Tish and I had.

At a shelter hastily thrown together in a high school gymnasium just across the river in Gentilly Terrace, we caught our first glimpse of the news coverage. They replayed Moira Dearden Queen’s warning at least a dozen times.

“May 15, 2013,” Tish said quietly, sitting cross-legged behind me on a cot, waiting for EMS to get around to us. “That would make it thirty years to the day. Do you think the - the metahuman planned it that way?”

“Don’t know, baby.”

“If he could throw us this far back, there must be a way to throw us forward again.”

“We’re going to figure it out,” I said rotely. “Can you at least get the big chunks?”

She picked glass from my back, and all around us it continued to be, bizarrely and depressingly enough, the fifteenth of May, 2013.

It was eerie, the way the details of the world were subtly off. Our phones didn’t work, and when we asked to borrow a stranger’s, he handed us an ancient iPhone. Every cell number I had memorized reached an error message. The streets were full of old model cars, emergency services’ equipment was decades out of date, and SCPD’s uniforms didn’t look quite right to me.

Eventually someone came along with tweezers, sutures, and sticky bandages to take care of my back and her arm.

Our first night in the past was spent on the gym floor in donated sleeping bags, alongside several hundred other newly homeless Starlingers. Between us, all we had in the world was whatever cash we happened to be carrying, four utterly useless credit cards, and the torn-up, bloodstained clothes on our backs.

“We could go to your parents,” Tish whispered to me, lying on her side with me practically nose to nose. “Or Mr. Diggle. They’ve seen enough weird. They might believe us.”

From what I’d learned of this night in our family’s collective memory, no one we knew was likely to be accessible. Either Dad was still kneeling next to his best friend’s dead body, or he was passed out from blood loss while Dig worked on the arrow wound that had completely perforated his shoulder. Mom was probably frantically googling his symptoms, holding the sterile instruments, or silently praying he wouldn’t die. Aunt Thea’s mother was just dragged away in handcuffs. And Captain Lance - holy shit.

Here in 2013, Captain Lance was alive. He was somewhere out there in the city, probably directing survivors to shelters at that very moment.

“Not tonight,” I murmured, squeezing both her hands. “Maybe not for a little while. None of them are going to have the bandwidth for a couple of strangers claiming to be their relatives from the future.”

“I suppose I wouldn’t, if I were them. So we just make it through the next few days, and we figure out what’s going on here. Then we go to them and...” She sighed. “This is not going to be any fun at all, is it?”

No.

No, it was not.

#legacy verse #legacy time travel au #ruwithmeguys

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