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bulletsgirl · 3 years

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Dude your dta playlist is up and down one of the better playlists I’ve ever SEEEN like I really couldn’t say enough about it, do you have any notes about any songs in particular in terms of why you chose them?

omg thank you so much!!! thats so sweet :)

im usually pretty picky about songs which is why a lot of my playlists arent like. as big as my dta one but i have a LOT of feelings about dta and its a monster of a series so you know. almost every single one is lyrically relevant (imo) to the story but some are there for just vibes. i think it would take me literally forever to go thru every song and why its there but i can go thru a handful!

this ended up insanely long bc i have cant shut up disorder so its under the cut <3 also ill rb the playlist after i post this so ppl can check it out if theyre interested

suspended in gaffa by kate bush is to me a major dta cas song. its chock full of biblical references and is about wanting to experience god, but in terms of how i see it associated w dta, dean would be the god in this case. cas realizing he wants something from dean that hes never wanted before, and all the while hes scared hes going to up and lose him for good. two of the pre-choruses are especially of note to me -- "i caught a glimpse of god, all shining and bright" (see: "and you glow, of course you do" from motw) / "where are the angels? i'm scared of the changes" (cas' humanity, the angels leaving). and also from the 4th verse, "thank you for yanking me / back to the fact that there's always something to distract / but sometimes it's hard to know if i'm doing it right" (drugs and sex being cas' distractions, him not understanding humanity and how to be like other people).

someone else by henry wolfe on the other hand is imo THEE dta dean song. it is literally about feeling like youre someone different from who you used to be. to me this is relevant to dean in two ways: hes of course trying to pass off as the original dean, and doesnt possess his memories or anything so hes reliant on bluffing and cas (intentionally) and others (unintentionally) filling in the gaps -- "i don't know who i have been / there's a stranger in my skin"; then there's the fever, and how it altered his physical state so drastically that he struggled to look in the mirror after doing so on accident once, even after hes doing much better and looks healthy -- "i took a look at my reflection / i didn't recognize myself / the person in the mirror was a shell" (see: him describing his appearance as that of a corpse, as it appeared in its underweight and sickly state)

color in your cheeks by the mountain goats is pretty straightforward so i wont go through the lyrics because its literally just the entire song -- in this context, its about ichabod, and their policy to welcome anyone they possibly can into the town and take care of them. take the refugees, for example, whom they expended many resources trying to take care of even though they were unexpected and many.

pillar of na by saintseneca is an eight minute long song with even more biblical references because im a sucker for them. its always felt like an endverse cas song to me and reading dta it really became about him as he appears in the fic. the song is about the cycle of life, death, and rebirth, in general, which is continuous and terrifying to deal with, leading to anxiety and self-medication. cas has seen plenty of life and plenty of death, and hes experienced his own rebirth. he wasnt scared of death, but he couldnt die because he had to be there for the original dean and then the dean who (unwittingly) comes to replace him. he coped with living through substance use in the time he was with the former, and when it came time for dean to lead him to their certain deaths he accepted it easily. when he didnt die there came uncontrollable sorrow and grief and he immediately became responsible for another dean who looked exactly like his dead best friend and charge. in a way, cas experiences a rebirth later with this dean. he changes his way of life when dean moves in, when he catches fever especially so. and suddenly he is desperately scared of losing this dean who has become extremely important to him, igniting a fear of death hes never really felt before. and yet with this dean he is more alive and present than he has ever been. so he lives in fear of death after a rebirth and experiences life. ok and this is getting super long so im gonna run through lyrics and explain why i think theyre super relevant -- "shall i lay awake / keeper of the watch / or the dozers off?" i see as relevant to cas training chitaqua soldiers/patrol, "shall i lay to waste / sleepers of the watch / with the knowers not?" is, to me, about the patrol leaders corralling others to murder cas and vera, and him executing luke as a warning/consequence afterwards and his mostly unacted desire to exact revenge for the terrible thing they did to him. the rest of the lyrics about getting stoned and waiting for the end are all pretty self-explanatory so ill stop while im ahead.

nobody dies by thao & the get down stay down feels like a song that can be viewed through the lens of dta cas and his relationship with the original dean. while its a song about thao’s father, i think this can be seen as the way that dean literally taught cas most of what he knew about humanity, putting him in a mentor position. i also just feel like dean became more serious, hopeless, and single mindedly focused on the mission. so “not to say, not to say / i wasn't grieving / in the evening / not to say, not to say / i want another / just like the others / i send all of it, i take all of it” is like, cas grieves who dean once was sometimes, his gentleness and hope as seen in the dean that replaces him, sure, but he NEVER wished for anything other than what dean was. so he followed deans orders (even though he mocked him thoroughly when given the chance) and remained on his side (see: “the only thing I think we have left, dean and me, is each other. if dean says it's time to go out in a blaze of glory, win or lose, so be it.”)

supermassive black hole by muse is because. hole :)

us by regina spektor is very much how i see the endverse and how the world is operating at the point of the story. dean and cas are actively trying to save the world and theyre blamed for the virus and put on the fbis most wanted list, and the world, in a state of hopeless chaos, listens blindly to the lies fed to them by the world govts and the news stations they control. it could also apply to ichabod and its original mistrust towards chitaqua, even tho chitaqua was literally there trying to help them and establish relations that would benefit them both

anyway im stopping now because this is. insane. and only seven songs so you see why i couldnt do every single one. but yeah i hope this is what you were looking for <3 if you have any questions about why i put other songs on there feel free to ask and i can explain them!

#wa #jesus someone should genuinely just start hitting me over the head with a newspaper when i start going on tangents. im sure half of this is #probably just completely nonsensical. sorry but i love u thank u for asking and ur kind words :)

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aliferous-ly · 6 years

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ya girl back at it again with the headcanon splat of ideas, splabbles if you will

(drabbles, splat, sprabbles, yes? no? i’ll see myself out)

FARMER BOY VIRGIL

yknow analogical is just so good so why not duderinos lez go

yes yes this is strange but hear me out

virgil lives on a farm with his grandparents and two cousins

u guys are v creative im sure you could come up with wonderful people to be them, shorts characters or cartoon therapy characters or ocs

he likes gardening mostly while his cousins take care of animals n stuff

but he does have a pet goat named Anx who he loves dearly, he would die for her tbh

side note on Anx she was a v nervous lil kid and he was the only one who managed to calm her down

she liked the smell of his big hoodie and his hands smell like plants

she lets other people milk her but she heavily heavily prefers virgil, and gets stressed when she doesnt see him for a day or two

he’s 100% ok with this

AGAIN MORE UNDER THE CUT I JUST KNOW ITS GONNA GET LONG

they go to a farmer’s market every saturday morning, it’s 9am to 2pm

they sell fruits from their orchard and veggies from the garden

originally virgil didn’t go at all, he stayed back to ‘watch the farm’ but he really just. freaked out a lot about dealing with people

his gparents understood and so did his cousins, plus then his cousins get more pocket change lollll

(they give virgil some because virgil ~basically~ grew all the veggies and some fruits /raspberries mostly/)

eventually virgil goes, one of his cousins convince him bcuz this one stand has honeycomb and he’s literally obsessed with honey and bees, forever sad their farm doesnt have any (one of his cousins are deeply afraid of bees + allergic, and virgil would never get bees w them so scared)

anyway he goes to the farmers market and mostly sits behind their stand in the back

at one point he works up the courage to go to the honey stand which is like. right next stand

there’s so much honey

so much

they’re all different colors and have different flower labels on them , and there are even some books people can look through, and a tiny brochure almost that has lil facts on bees

he’s in awe he just loves it all so much

anyway he clears his throat and buys some honeycomb from the man behind the counter, who has glasses and a tie and a lil nametag that says “Logan”

Virgil goes back to his stand even though he wants to stay there so bad and read about BEES

he loves BEES

~ fast forward to the next week ~

he goes and its wonderful he buys some acacia honey

to go with his tea

he loves tea

the dude selling it is different tho, he’s wearing sunglasses and a flannel shirt rolled up to the elbows, unbuttoned with a white undershirt virgil’s bidar (get it bisexual gaydar) starts going off

dude has a nametag “Remy” which sounds p cool to virgil’s deviantart oc ears

anyway he slinks back to his fam’s stand

and they teach him how to sell and he realizes it’s . pretty easy, people buying fresh veggies in a farmer’s market are usually not Super Angry

two boys walk by, one wearing a wicked t-shirt and the other with a black t-shirt and a tie

“how much would you give me if I ate a raw radish” wicked t-shirt boy says

“fifty cents” tie boy replies

“that’s it? the radish costs more than that!”

“I’ll buy the radish then”

he buys the radish and virgil links tie boy to bee boy and blurts out “hey, i know you!”

logan blinks at him. “yes i work at the bee stand. this is roman, sometimes he works at the gelato stand.”

logan gives the raw radish to roman and he just. chomp

he spits it out like five seconds later and virgil can’t help laughing, esp because logan’s face is so smug

“fifty cents lost. what a waste”

“stfu”

virgil thinks this is hilarious

~ fast forward again yey ~

time passes and virgil hangs out w bee man logan bcuz logan figured out virgil’s obsession with bees are like his so they just. geek out. over bees

i love them

roman works at the gelato stand sometimes because his sisters and mom usually are there, but when he does work there he sometimes drags his friend patton along and they work together

virgil had never had gelato before . roman and patton think this is a True Crime,

logan finds out about how virgil wants to take care of bees or see them or literally . something. he’s starved. but he cant because of his cousin

so logan invites virgil to his house. he and his brother remy work the stand , his parents were involved in the start but now they just let their boys do their thing

they live somewhat in the country? but not on a farm just a house with. a lot of land

logan has a whole system down and virgil is so fascinated with it and

i cant believe they fall in love over bees

so many honey puns too bad i suck at puns

someone hmu with a good punny name for this bee au

roman, remy, patton, virgil’s two cousins, and virgil’s grandma all have a betting pool over when they’re getting together. roman and remy have the biggest money in the pot, followed closely by virgil’s gma

break to breath omfg so many bulletmarks

ok we resume

logan visits virgil one day and virgil’s grandma gives them a cherry pie and tells em to enjoy it in virgil’s tree house thing

it’s like a platform in the trees p much, with branches surrounding it

virgil keeps honey up there because he doesnt want his fam to steal it from him

but he doesnt remember having spoons

theyre chilling in the tree house, eating cherry pie with spoons directly from the pie tin, being eternal icons

logan picks up one of the honey jars and it’s his honey

virgil mumbles something about how much he loves lavender honey, and logan always has some of it

logan flushes and says that he keeps one hidden until virgil comes over to his stand, so virgil always had one to buy. if he didnt buy it logan would sneak it back under the counter for next week

now they’re both blushing messes

virgil looks at his spoon, and at the honey, and just. snatch

and he gets a spoonful of honey, not too full so he doesnt accidentally spill because his hands are shaking so bad, and he holds it out to logan, feeling like his heart is about to burst

virgil and logan feel a charge in the air and virgil is so so nervous

logan slowly. slowly leans forward wraps his mouth around the spoonful of honey, pulling away just as gradually

logan feels like he’s going to explode

anyway after logan did That virgil just . squeaked and covered his face with his hands and scarf

(side headcanon when its not cold enough for sweatshirts he has some cloth to cover his face if he gets embarrassed, because just hands feels too oily for him)

their faces are so red

they leave the treehouse hand in hand and the betting pool is OVER !! they finally did it!!! they got together!!!!!

(virgil’s gma wins the pool)

(they think she planned it out but they have no proof)

(she did)

(100%)

anyway honeybee gays is slaying me in this chillis tonight join me in this pit

MINI BONUS ROYALITY BCUZ THIS IS SO LONG ALREADY

roman’s family makes the gelato themselves

mostly

patton loves giving random flavor suggestions

before they got together there was so much pining, so many pet names but “it’s just platonic!! :’)”

after they got together there’s so many gelato dates

many many pet names , they see who can come up with the most sugary

logan and virgil die basically when they’re around them/go on double dates

relationship competitions , ie who can win at chicken at the pool

all of roman’s sisters love patton so much

(there’s three of them but one of them has a v serious gf so roman counts her as the fourth)

super cute

#relationshipgoals

#this is so long omg im sorry #bee au #analogical #ts headcanons #sanders sides #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #remy sanders #bees #gelato #food mention #splabbles #family #so much fambly

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rbbtrd · 7 years

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I Love Healing

i wrote this when i was tryin to vent but i have no idea how to fuckin vent so instead i. tried to write out healings entire bg lmao a lot of brain stuff was goin on so it might not b. the best piece of literature uve ever read

some misc facts and other htings might b missing bc (points at how fucked my brain was and also how fuckin VAST healings character is and how much development he has)

//warnin theres kinda crass and sensitive language or whatever and there will b mentions of diff kinds of abuse in his story and other not good things under cut so my bad but i wasnt in a good state of mind and tryin to tag n warn u abt it all is skjncfdvav plus this was a vent post for me originally anyways lmao

//another warning lmao under the cut is a Wall Of Text there is a LOT of stuff under cut like 6000+ words so like. warned ya my pals

healing is my favorite fuckin oc and p much. why i fuckin stay alive sknfsef he means so so much to me and has so much meaning to me and is very very very very very very very important to me i fucking Love healing okay i project a lot (i.e All Of Myself) onto healing so he is p much almost quite literally me and vice versa but also not rlly??? its weird and complicated lmao i Love this man tho no one will ever love him more than i do i will fuckin Fight you hes so improtant to me

he is 57 yrs old, his birthday is march 17 but also dec 5th (its complicated) but mostly march 17, his favorite color is red not only bc im projecting but his first loves fav color was also red, he is 5″7 ft tall, hes very silly and kooky and tries his best to become happy and heal and learn and atone for what hes done and expereinced, he LOVES the sea and the ocean and anything relating them like the sea/ocean is very very very important to him for multiple reasons, also loves rabbits and goats and has 2 pet goats (i like to call em his service animals lol)

healing was born to both pure blood tiefling parents, his mother was a servant/slave that belonged on a ship and his father basically just knocked her up, he never met or knew anything about his father other than that he was a tiefling and misc stuff his mom/other servants had told him. his dad is mordecai ahkrah and hes chaotic evil and genuinely a very fucking awful person, his mom is ariarei kallies and is just?? kinda a chatoic neutral, maybe more of a lawful evil, but she has a very bad selfish personality and nasty. she holds no maternal feelings for healing and only sees him as a nuisance and only takes care of him (taking care of him means. The Bare Minimum. i.e- makin sure hes just Not Dead) bc she has to and kinda forcced to. healing does not see ariarei as his mother, but “as the woman who birthed me / brought me into this world” and stuff like that and therefore holds no feelings towards her like a child would w their mother, over the years, healing considers the ocean/sea as his mother more than ariarei and is more emotionally connected to the sea

healings mom actually never named him, he was nameless/had no name up until the age of 27-28. both his mom and the owners of the ship and whoever hired him always only ever called him “boy”, “child”, “it”, “thing”, “errand boy”, “chore boy”, and names like that bc he never had a name and no one bothered to give him one. both his mom and the owners/ppl who hired him treated him very very poorly and did abuse him frequently in many different ways and manners (lmao projects myself onto my oc) so he has a lot of feelings and experiences w lots of kinds of traumas and abuse

he most specifically received a lot of physical abuse especially from ppl and verbal abuse, some but not too much emotional abuse, and also a handful of sexual abuse. at the time, he thought it was fine and normal and did not realized he was being abused bc “this is just how life is” bc he had literally. never heard of or experienced anything else other than a shit life.

he didnt rlly think anything of the poor treatment or the abuse bc this was all he ever knew, he grew up this way, so he thought it was normal and thought everyone didnt feel anything and if they did OF COURSE theyd b negative feelings, bc thats all u (healing at the time) r capable of feeling. he doesnt get out of this mentality until hes around 18-22

he receives a handful of scars and marks from his time as a servant, he got his first scar when he was a literal Baby bc he was cryin out and his ma got mad and upset abt and scratched his face thus resulting in his lip scar. when he was like 5-7 he met this other servant kid who had The Very Opposite mindset he had and was v bright and optimistic and he dragged healing along when he played and he broke smth and healing took the cover not bc he wanted to save this kid but bc it would be less troublesome bc then the current owner would only have to punish 1 child and the other kid was well liked on the ship unlike healing so then the morale of the servants wouldnt be affected. the owner beat him up p bad but it Wasnt Enough so he smashed healings face into the wooden boards so hard it Broke The Board and also broke his right horn, this also gave his scarring above his brow and stuff up to the broken horn. another prominent scar he has that holds memory to him is the scar on his chest above his heart, where he got that from a case where he was sexually abused and his abuser threatened to tear out his heart if he kept bein a brat. he has NO SCARS on his tail tho, but thats literally bc up until he was w morgan, he was just Lucky in not havin his tail injured. from the time he met morgan and beyond, he then started to actively protect his tail from harm and from ppl touchin it bc morgan said he rlly liked his tail and how it looked and how cool it was and from then on hes liek Oh

he constantly worked when he was of age to and started w small things and worked up to doin manual labor and other things, he only stayed w his mom up until the age of 11-12, after that they were separately sold to different ships and never saw eaqch other again. from that point on, he was switched around a few different ships and buyers, but was otherwise was still just treated as cargo and property like he had been the past few years.

the ship he was on at the age of 17 was stopped and liberated by a man named morgan wake (also can be written as morgain), a human sailor captain (some kind of good, leanin on neutral or chaotic) who specializes in trade, cargo, and just transportation, but also will sell his abilities to fight/go into war or battle and liberates slave ships on his free time lol morgan becomes a Very Very Very important person to healing and is ESSENTIAL to shaping healing into who he is now. healing slowly falls in love with morgan over the years, but never tells morgan abt these feelins bc 1) he doesnt kno what the FUCk hes feelin lmao this boy has only experienced negative emotions and feelings up until he met morgan and 2) he thinks morgan will think hes weird or wrong or gross or smth. healing had absolutealy NO PLACE and NO ONE to go to after he was liberated so morgan saw this and was like Hey. You Should Come Work Under Me For MY Ship. morgan is a BIG BIG BIG guy on justice and equality and stuff for ALL PEOPLE and EVERYONE so this is also a reason why he let healing onto his ship of mostly humans and half-elves and halflings and also this part abt morgan rubs off on healing so healing also becomes a big guy on justice and equality and stuff

the ship morgan owns is a Lil prejudiced againt tieflings so they arent jumpin for joy when morgan makes healing his first mate at the age of 19 bc theyre. Gently Racist over tieflings but morgan kicks their ass and makes healing his first mate and right hand man anyways. at this point, healing is still nameless bc morgan tells him “i cant give you a name, a name is really important, its your identity and what makes you YOU, its ur soul and ur dreams and ur hopes, its YOU, you hear a name and u think of that person etc etc etc” and rlly cheesy stuff like that pertaining to names so morgan is Vehemently against naming healing and instead calls him “buddy”, “pal”, “friend”, “best friend”, “first mate”, “mate”, and other various nicknames made over the years. he was very adamant on having healing name himself and refused to call him by a name that someone else gave him bc healing told him abt his mom and how he said that his mom wasnt rlly a mother in the first place

morgan knows Everything abt healing and healing w him vice versa bc when they first met and healing was still in his Uhm Nothing Matters Ill Tell You Everything mindset, he told morgan the story abt all his scars and what has happened to him up until that point and what people have done to him. morgan is truly very genuinely heartbroken over this?? bc healing was just Born into this world of shit and awful things that he didnt deserve and also the fact that healing just spoke of his abuse so freely and casually as if it meant nothing and didnt matter and healings view on his own life and life in general due to how he has lived so far and morgan makes it his personal mission to help healing grow out of this and start to become more Alive and less :| and :/ abt life

morgan becomes very important for and to healing bc like. he literally taught healing Emotions and how amazing and happy and good life can be. morgan taught healing how to Be Alive and Want To Be Alive and how to Feel. before when he was a servant, he was literally just a Shell and genuinely thought life was Supposed to just be inherently shitty and ur suposed to always expereince bad htings and ALWAYS feel ONLY bad negative emotions and feelings.he thought that if he died, it wouldnt matter AT ALL bc he would easily b replaced by another servant and his life had literally no meaning and he genuinely thought he would die before the age of 20 and he was Okay with that he thought it was fine he thought it was okay to not expect to live past 20-25 and etc etc etc.

when he saved healing, morgain was already quite old-ish?? he was 30 yrs old when healing (at the time, age 17) met him. healnig didnt rlly start to fall in love until around age 19 just some time b4 morgan made him first mate. over the years that healing is on morgans ship, he becomes who he is bc of morgan and he learns things abt himself and who he is and builds himself bc of morgan and he becomes who healing is in these very moments that he spends with morgan and rightly falls in love because of it bc morgan Saved Him from so many things. morgan took an empty husk and shell of a man that had Began as empty and put smth in it. he had breathed life into an empty bag and made music, he had taken a broken branch and carved a nice ass figure. morgan took something with nothing and gave him Everything. healing has such a strong connection and attachment to morgan yall cant even begin to understsand it. Runs So Deep in healing, this lov and feeling and attachment he has to morgan

morgan also rlly rlly rlly Rlly likes and appreciates healing and actually also loves healing in the same way, but doesnt tell healing for the same reasons why healing wont tell morgan. they spend the next 10 yrs basically unknowingly pining over each other bc theyre too fuckin afraid to tell each other bc they think the other is gonna b homophobic and its Awful. but also like. sailors back in the day were Rlly Gay so healing and morgan have had their fair share of mutual masturbation and Very Gay Activities w each other bu they were never in the context of romance or in a relationship beyond like. Rlly Rlly Good Best Friends lmao like sex friends but better??

bc healing. was never fuckin educated lmao he doesnt kno how to read or write. over the years he spends with morgan, he BARELY understand the alphabet tbh. he can like,,,,,, understand certain words but he doesnt recognize those words as words they register kinda like symbols in his head. numbers r even WORSE for healing lmao. like he understands map terms north, east, west, south, map, longitude/latitude, etc etc but he recognizes the words as like pictures or symbols in his head that relate to object or meaning or smth, kinda how u see a lil pic of a tree and u recognize it as a tree, thats him w words. healing was morgans first mate and co-captain for 10 years, he often went with morgan to negotiations and business meetings and trades and etc etc etc healing is VERY good w his words bc of this and is actually rlly smart and intelligent and wise. he just cant read or write lol. he has a +0 intelligence on his sheet but a +3 wisdom

healing lives the next 10 yrs of his life after being liberated at the age of 17 to 27 w morgan and his ship and his crew and hes enjoying himself and livin it to the fullest and hes happy and its so good and all is well, but also keep in mind that healing, through out all of these 10 yrs, has STILL not have a name for himself yet. BUT morgan HAS given healing a seashell necklace as well as his ear piercings. he wears these items everyday and they hold like. a lot of emotional important and support for him

but then morgan dies LMAO morgan dies at the age of 40 when healing is 27 and he dies from both sickness from old age (bc sailors back then. died p early skdjfnwsndv) and also from an injury wound he had gotten when in battle earlier that month. morgans death strikes his crew very harshly but without a doubt everyone on the ship agreed that healing was the MOST hurt and affected and shaken from morgans death. morgans last words and also his will states that he wanted healing to become the new captain of the ship. healing doesnt rlly become the new captain bc hes too busy mourning over his death for the next yr.

morgan and healing NEVER tell each other abt their feelings for one another, so morgan dies with this regret of never saying anything and healing lives with the regret of never saying anything before he died. this plays into how healing chose his name

after his mourning and grieving period he starts to slowly collect himself and in this period of time, this is where he finally chooses his name. he thinks abt how morgan was never able to call him by a proper name despite how important names were to morgan, so as hes starting to heal from his death, he picks his own name for himself. he debated on choosing his name as love, bc he loved morgan but never told him despite the fact that morgan quite literally taught him how to love. but he decides on the name healing bc he also thought abt how morgan said how he wanted to help healing start to mend and heal from all the trauma and abuse hes been through and healing sort of just shoved love into that process of healing, therefore That Is His Name Now. his name is now like. an important memoir of morgan as well as like. His Name. his name now holds a very hefty important weight and meaning to him now.

when morgan dies, he makes a lot of vows to himself like how hell never love someone again and how he would keep up morgans work and how he would keep morgans policy of justice and equality and how he would never treat people the way he was treated as a servant and how he would never hurt someone on purpose. after morgans death, he starts to like. hoard items he thinks morgan would have liked and then eventually this just turns from “hoarding for morgan” to “depression coping hoarding” and he just hoards things he thinks has some use or worth of value (which is like. Everything lmao so he never throws stuff away)

the ship crew are not All That Happy that healing is their new captain, but they really did intensely respect and appreciated morgan both as a captain and an individual so they abide by his will and last words and let healing be captain despite the fact that they thought hed b bad at it. but Surprise Surprise healing is actually rlly rlly good at being a captain bc he spent 10 yrs by morgans side and he knows how to do everything rlly well and the crew r kind of surprised and apologize for sterotypin him and for being so prejudiced and not trustin him and etc etc etc and healing is happy for another long while bc now he has like?? a family?? this crew was now his family and he loved everyone on this ship and they loved him?? he was Rlly Good at what he did bc he took over morgans work of trade and also liberating ships and sellin his time to fight for ppl and he was super close to his crew and they grew closer over the yrs and they give him a seashell bracelet similar to how morgan gave him the necklace and earrings so now healing has like. a physical object to associate his emotional relationship and feelings and shit to like he did for morgan w the necklace and earrings

but ofc knowin me its time to Fuck Him Over Again lmao over the yrs while hes in his 30s hes gets like. Rlly Rlly Rlly well known for his deeds and his work and actions so he gets super popular and he has. A Lotta Sex and is Very Well Known for sex and also his dick lol and also sometimes got into. not so hot relationships. at current time right now, age of 57, healing has 5 children he isnt aware of bc he left the other person before they even Knew they were pregnant. he was rlly good with not letting his partner get pregnant but accidents happen lmao sometimes he let the fame and popularity get to his head so he was kind of a Cocky Narcissistic Dick sometimes

a total of 5 times during his 30s he got himself into. very bad toxic abusive manipulative relationships. these 5 people were all very similar in what they did to healing and how they did it to him. in each of these 5 cases, both healing and his crew reacted the same. when u hang out w manipulative bad ppl, u kinda become manipulative and bad urself, and thats what happened w healing and his crew. these 5 ppl preyed on the fact that healing was emotionally very weak and vulnerable to romantic affection and intimacy and how he had a Rlly Rlly Big Fear of losing people he loved or cared about. they made him care abt them and threatened to leave him if he didnt do what they wanted, as well as abuse him in other different manners physically, emotionally (BIG TIME emotional abuse), verbally, and mentally. during the itme he was in these relationships w these ppl, healing was very much not like his usual self, hes a chatoic neutral but when w theswe ppl he was like?? lawful evil?? true evil?? he became Rlly Bad and did Rlly Bad things that, now in current day time he regrets deeply and feels.

when he was in these relationships, they made him break a lot of the vows he took when morgan died or else theyd do smth to him or to themself ot to his crew or smth like that and it haunts him to this very day abt how he could have done those things to those people despite the fact that the same was done to him and how he NEVER wanted to do that to other people. it dredges bad things up in his memories and in his heart and he has nightmares abt both his traumas and abuse as well as the traumas and abuse hes made others go through. these people hurt him very deeply in his 30s and scarred him emotionally and mentally more intensely than the people that mistreated him when he was a servant

his 30s was a. Rollercoaster tbh. he went thru very intense and frequent highs and lows bc the time when he was with these people they were his Very Very Low Lows and when he wasnt with them and just doing his job w his crew and livin life he was very happy and his life took on a Very Good High. as he got a lil older at the age of 37 he was doing good and it was a high during his lifetime and that point and when he was 37 he was actually on his ship hunting down a bandit/pirate ship bc someone had bought his ships and effort to help them track down this ship

he has a lot of adventures in his 30s and goes thru so many things and and thru so many situations and so many people and encountered just. A Lot Of Stuff in General. hes experienced probs like. 2 lifetime of experiences and shit by the age of 37 lmao but he wouldnt trade any of these experiences, good or bad, for ANYTHING in the world

but sadly (bc i love makin his life so full of angst) as hes chasing this ship, a Rlly Big Storm comes by and fuckin. WRECKS his ship. absolutely obliterates it. it catches fire and tons of his crew members r jumpin off and panicking and the ship is falling apart and hes so AAAAAAAAAAAAA rn. in the future, the imagery of a sunken or turned up or just in general not normal 100% functioning ship is very unsettling to him and triggers this rlly bad memory. also Rlly Rlly Rlly BIG BIG fires unsettle him very badly and makes him Extremely Uncomfortable but it doesnt rlly trigger this bad memory as much as broken ships do

healing is knocked from the ship and passed out and when he awakes hes on the shore with the remains of wood from his ship along the shore and he is. absolutely broken. he lost his Whole Family in one night and yet he was the one who didnt die?? he assumes everyone on his crew ship died (even tho some survived but he has yet to encounter them) and he was the only one who survived and at the moment he HATED this fact. he hated that he was left to live and he reverts back to his mindset that he had when he was younger how his life didnt matter and etc etc etc

hes also??????????? SUPER upset and heartbroken that the sea was the one who did this to him. the ocean, to which he was born and raised on (he has never lived on land in the past 37 yrs of his life, hes been on land and stayed overnight at inns or smth and stuff but hes never Lived anywhere on land and thinks houses r Weird bc hes lived on a boats and ships for 37 yrs kjefnvslefv), the ocean to which he considered his real mother, the ocean that granted him so much freedom from so much of the things that hes experienced, the ocean to which he was so deeply emotionally connected to and how much the sea had meant to him. he knows he cannot control the sea and accepts that the sea had sunken his ship but that doesnt mean hes not going to still feel sad and shitty abt it lol

he Basically has a meltdown at this shore and cursin at how he should have been the one to die in this wreck and passes out bc. exhaustion and etc lmao. and then in comes Love Interest #2, noel, a neutral good wood elf monk who, just like morgan, is a very free spirit and very kind and reminds healing just enough of morgan to make his heart start to feel something again

noel sees this tieflin dude passed out on the beach and is like. Oh. Thats Not Good. and he goes to help him out and brings him back to his campsite to patch him up and heal his wounds and take care of him and nurture him back to health a bit until healing wakes up.

healing is like HWHA and is like uhhhh thnks but i gotta Go Now bc Yet Again in this mnoment he vows a bunch of other shit like how hell live a life of solitude and never involve himself w others bc he thinks of himself as a harbinger of bad things and chaos and doom and misfortune follows him and how everyone he loves or tells them abt his life/story dies

but noel is too friendly and caring to just Let Him Go and hes just rlly interested in healing just as an individual and just also wants a companion to travel w bc hes just like a wandering monk who weaves in and out of woods and forests and villages and stuff

fast forward- after a Lot of effort and A Lot of time and A Lot of trust and such, healing slowly Very Very Slowly opens up to noel about himself and his life and what hes gone though and all of the sort of bad and good things hes experienced and grows closer to him and they fall in llove with each other and its both mutual and healing is like “wow??? being in love is so nice?? this is such a good feeling?? i love noel and he loves me back and we can kiss and hug and do stuff and both of us know we are doing this out of mutual romantic attraction??????????” and this is like. A Brand New Feeling for healing bc his relationship and love for morgan was 100% unrequited

noel basically becomes healings teacher tbh since noel is a monk he teaches healing the way of bein a monk most specifically the way of the 4 elements. noel is a master of the way of the 4 elements, but is best w earth and air, healing has such a strong attachment to the water and a close relation with fire so hes naturally like. rlly good w those 2 lmao he catches on real quick despite the fact that. only noel is teaching him and neither of them belong to a temple or have a temple to go to lmao

as time goes on both healing and noel are like. kinda famous monks that travel through the land and are well known bc healing was already previously well known as a rlly rlly cool famous captain and now he kinda dropped off the face of the earth for like 5 yrs but now hes back w noel and he looks a lil diff now bc hes older and his hairs a lil longer but ppl are aware that hes healing

its all good and healing is enjoying life real nice rn and hes happy once again and hes in love with noel and noel is in love with healing and its so good and healing is traveling again but also like. up until he was 37 yrs old he was like livin at sea on a ship. so when he goes along w noel when they travel through the woods on land its kinda Weird for him bc hes like. Never Been On Land For This Long lmao

from the moment he was stranded on that beach to right now in his current time, healing ALWAYS has smth of the sea/ocean w him ALWAYS it is a must and he has to have it for multiple reasons and most of the reasons are for like. safety reasons?? theyre like his safety items it calms him down and soothes him in multiple ways like emotionally and mentally. he ALWAYS has at LEAST 1 (one) bottle or flask or SOMETHING filled w sea water he always has some sea water on him, he also just. collects a MASSIVE amount of shells and sea glass and any other things u could find on the beach or sea he always has some of this stuff on him for comfort and stuff

like with all of the deep and intimate and important and emotional relationships in his life, noel gives healing smth that he can attach noel to emotionally and etc etrc etc. noel gives healing tattoos that are like monk tattoos and symbolize what he does best on his back i.e fire and water and also a few like. just fun lil casual tattoos to make healing and himself happy like a boat and anchor on his wrist and stuff and healing is like Oh Gee Hope Nothing Bad Happens

but smth bad does happen lol. after 10 literal yrs (healing is now 47) theyre in the woods camping out and etc etc etc and its like the dead of night and theyre sleepin in their tents and its good and all but then some bandits or smth just pass by their site and decide “hey. lets fuckin loot this place and fuck shit up” and they do and engage in combat w noel and healing and its just a series of unfortunate events and bad luck and timing and long story short these bandits do lethal and fatal damage to noel but healing manages to fend em off and they go running and now healing is kneeling over the dying body of his lover

noel literally dies in healings arms and this event triggers all of his previous mental state and mindset from before abt how hes a harbinger of bad things and how everyone he loves does and he only brings misfortune and hes liike “y do the ppl around me die???? y cant *I* be the one to die for once??? wtf????” and he feels so many emotions and is so ANGRY at himself bc This Just Keeps happening and the people he loves just keep Getting Hurt and he cries and buries noel and makes a grave and does a lot of sentimental stuff and mourns and just stays where he is in the woods for like. weeks until his supplies runs out and he finally leaves the area of the forest hes in with a heavy… Everything slkdfnvsdkfs fvhesfdnviksfd hes RLLY intensely emotionally and mentally fucked now

he makes the same kinds of vows as before again plus some but now its even STRONGER. he Will Not EVER fall in love ever again, he will never tell anyone ANYTHING abt him thats not surface level info, he takes up his old vows like never hurt ppl on purpose and never treating him the way he was treated and how he will upkeep his code of justice and equality, and how he will NEVER EVER have any deep relationships and friendships and he will keep them very surface level and how he will keep everyone at like an arms distance and a half from him

and so he mourns over his lost loved ones and is just a fuckin angsty emotionally shut and locked up traveling tiefling monk and hes alone and just. travels bc he feels like if he stays in one place too long he might bring misfortune to the ppl around him and he just. BASICALLY keeps this up for ANOTHER 10 yrs dsfkjvnsenfvedv je travels around EVERYWHERE and the first few years he tried his best to avoid rlly thick wooded areas and the sea but eventually he grew and healed a bit more and allowed himself to get on boats again and go thru forests and woods

healing chose his name bc he wanted to heal and grown and change and become a better person and try his best to just be as happy as he could be and to atone for what hes done and just. try to get thru life at this point. and make sure he leaves people better than when he meets them and to make sure everyone he encounters have AT LEAST a Not Bad impression of him. so thats basically what his goal is after noel dies and he just travels on his own and in solitude and he nevers takes along a companion and is jsut by himself and quite literally isolates himself all the time. he keeps the people he talks to at an arm and a halfs distance, he never lets them know anything below surface level info abt him, he like?? basically puts on a front and all but he is still genuinely friendly and likes to talk to ppl he just. doesnt want them to know any like Substantial Info abt him or kno him beyond surface level and stuff

after some time tho he meets a man named elias aka MAN OF THE HOUR aka my datefriends oc and he jsut?? will NOT leave healing alone he just WILL NOT go away and he basically just. is forcibly at healings side as they travel and healing just CANNOT get rid of him and elias is just with him and hes trying to pry thru healings massive amounts of layers and walls and barriers and etc etc etc and ofc he does this respectfully hes not like. forcing his way into healings life and forcing healing to tell him abt his life he just. wants to kno more abt him and is very genuinely attracted to this man in many many ways

healing realizes he cant force elias to go away and is just like (shrugs) ok w/e guess i cant get rid of u and tries to keep his walls and his front up but he just finds himself getting rlly comfortable w elias?? he finds his presence soothing and stuff bc hes been alone for the past previous yrs and now he has a companion again and its a rlly nice feeling and they grow a lil closer bit by bit over time

more time passes on and eventually, in the middle of a mental break/meltdown, healing just. Spills Everything to elias like. All Of His Life from the moment he was born until this current faction in time where hes sobbing into elias’ arm about his whole life and he feels kind of better and its okay for a while and he just passes out in elias’ arms but then he wakes up and has a panic attack and is like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I TOLD THIS MAN MY ENTIRE LIFE I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW OR HELL DIE I RLLY LIKE HIM THO I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE and he faces the facts that he 1) likes elias 2) is very internally and mentally fukt 3) is internally rlly fuckin secretive and tries to hide everythin abt himself and 4) is Dyin Real Bad for multiple reasons

elias tries to reassure healing and tries to tell him everything will be fine and he wont die and etc etc etc and stuff and from this point on forward healing and elias are much closer and continue to get closer until theyre basically in a relationship and its difficult tbh bc healing rlly wants to leave elias out of his fear but elias stays w him and its a long proccess and journey for healing to learn how to properly cope w all of the things hes felt and experienced and grow and heal and etc et ect

eventually fast forward in time, at the age of 57, healing is MARRIED to elias :’’) and they r in love and everything is okay and healing has and is continuing to learn how to accept what hes done and how to properly cope and deal w things and have less walls and barriers and be better and elias is one of his MOST important relationships to him, on par w morgan and noel, and its all good and happy and healing lives the rest of his life out w elias and dies happy and etc etc etc and its all just GREAT and also their shipname is heelies bc its funny lmao

i left out a lotta details but fuckin. whatever lmao

anyways i love healing thnk u and good night

#oc:healing #time for some fucking HOT ASS meta and bg info about this boy lmao #i would die for healing

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #13: "im so EMO (TION)" - Bryce

I cant believe that im still here. And we have majority. 3 vs 2. Matt is coming to me know saying that he wants to work with me but like. Bruh. But that could be good tho having him. I have to see what happens with immunity first.

OKOKOKOK CAN WE JUST DISCUSS HOW AM I A FUCKING GOAT. FIRST OF ALL Jock destroyers was a pretty dominant alliance i played a SNITCH RAT GAME with exposing plans and i was lied to but like can i get some credit here like first of all it was my fucking ideal to even force a tie, bryce wanted sharky out he didn't want rocks i wanted rocks when my ass was literally on the line here and i was still willing to go to rocks because i don't want to be a fucking goat and do what bryce or sharky wants this is the only way i could get brian SHARKYS #1 ALLY out of the game so that you know who sharky's #1 ALLY IS NOW FUCKING ME. so you know what yeah i'm a goat, greatest of all time actually and i at least deserve some level of credit or respect here to pull some shit off like this. only person on the fucking tribe with the balls to do this shit and i don't even have balls. OK BYE.

i literally dont have words. i keep having meltdowns and like its so not like me i usually just treat games as fun but im just so upset bc brian went home when we could have prevented it and now im in a spot where annabelle and sharky control things and im basically going to get 5th. i really thought i was doing something and life came at me real quick and said learn ur place KJFSHKJDFHSKJ. like the play anna made was smart so go her i just hate that i got played and that brian left with the vote steal and that my game is ruined and i came so far and i thought i was playing alright also i hate how everyone and their mother keeps calling me out for playing the middle KJSFHFKS like grow up and shade me in ur confessionals not to my face im SENSITIVE AUBRY. basically the point is: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/506665419092918273/541697763788980225/image0.jpg

I'm SHOCKED. I swore to Annabelle I wouldn't right her name down. And yet she writes my name down! And just as I was thinking I could trust Bryce HE RALLIES VOTES AGAINST ME! I'm so pissed off, and scared, and hurt, and now I have to scramble to figure something out.

Okay let recap everything that has gone down in this 24 hours since I was betrayed. So I talked to Annabelle A LOT. Basically we've talked to each other a ton. I discover that Anna made the plan for the tie and then Bryce was only willing to flip if the vote was for me. SHADY. I knew I should have never trusted him. So basically either I convince Annabelle to save me, everyone goes to rocks, or Matt and Brian flip on me and I go home. I would have said the last one was super unlikely. So I start busting my ass to sway Annabelle. We have really opened up to each other about our games, she is feeling like she has to make a big move. I talked to her about how I feel hurt because I've busted my ass all game to save Anna and Matt and now they both seem unwilling to save me. I tell the guys we just have to be nice but imply to her she stands no shot of making the end without me and how Bryce is going to win. She has no idea we have the vote steal so Brian/Matt would definitely get Bryce out next. So I go to sleep thinking we are making progress. I wake up an Anna is like "Matt was rude to me so I'm definitely not flipping" so I'm starting to feel really hopeless. And then Matt and Brian both started to dodge the idea of rocks. And Anna is telling me Bryce thinks Matt is probably going to flip. So i'm thinking it's over. And in the FB Bois chat Matt and Brian both keep being like "I'm so conflicted" "we'd be guaranteed f4" "blah blah blah" So now I'm realizing these two aren't willing to go to rocks for me. I've spent this whole season trying to save our alliance at any cost. And now that I'm the one in danger...they aren't willing to take the risk. SO now I get it. I've been too nice. If they are going to put their games above mine and aren't willing to risk it so all 3 of us can make F5...I'm going to have to make sure we take that risk because it's my only shot. So I pitch to Anna a way she can get her rocks and I can be safe. We tell them that Anna agrees to save me. That way they think were set and it'll all work out and then it'll go to rocks and I'll be safe. It's super risky and I'm putting all my faith in Annabelle and I feel so scared and guilty and idk but this is the only way I survive and there is a chance Anna goes and it all works out. But...it's also not lost on me that Anna is willing to risk her own game to save me...but my own alliance isn't. I'm feeling...weird.

Brian went home. I...honestly am just feeling horrible. And he was so mad at me. Like mad to the point that I'm worried I ruined a real life friendship over this game. And Matt is furious too and he's going off on me in our group chat which fucking sucks. Like that was the worst case scenario for me. And it sucks. But I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. Like both Brian and Matt were willing to vote me out so they didn't have to go to rocks. They put their game first so why am I a villain for doing the same thing? And they want to be like "we were up front with you about not being sure" like that's supposed to make me feel better. Yeah of course you were honest you weren't the ones in danger. It's easy for y'all to be honest when you're just going to vote me out. I couldn't have been honest with them or they would have flipped and I would have gone home. How do they not see that? Was I supposed to just give up? How is that fair? And how is it that they can vote me out and I just have to accept that but they can't accept that I saved myself. I'm feeling super alone, like I can't trust anybody, and like my best friends won't even take a second to look at it from my point of view. Of course I feel terrible. I just hope this doesn't come between genuine friendships.

ANNA REALLY JUST CLOCKS ME AND SHE KNOW SHE CAN BC WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO. me matt maynor better be this f3 matt might win tbh but idc! anna has CROSSED ME and like laughs in my face FKJADSHFKAJ like yes ur iconic yes u did #that but im in this game with u and its a lil rude to flaunt ur success at me FKJADSHFAKJ when i do sth good i would never constantly bring it up (btw i won immunity once and got that cute blue color so everyone is jealous prob...) also im so emo i miss dennis and i miss brian they were the 2 ppl who i felt close to in the game and theyre both gone i literally am so upset i feel like if i wasnt so busy before tribal i could have talked to brian more and convinced him he had to vote sharky bc i KNEW anna was voting sharky but he bought her lies and i was convincing enough so i just feel its my fault i lost my closest ally (and his vote steal) although maybe he would have beat me in the end so this is good thing? nope! like i think i played alright in the middle but ppl prob wont respect it and idk if i would bc clearly im biased and maybe i am just a goat and thats why im still in like i rly tried to do sth this round but didnt i just ugh so demotivated hehe but maybe ill snap or sth insert positive uplifting quote here i just hope that i can turn this around and defeat anna and her pet shark. ALTHOUGH ITS LIKE WHERE THE BIG DOG PULLS ITS OWNER AND WALKS IT INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. im so EMO (TION)

yesterday i was feeling a LOT of emotions and now that i have distanced myself i realize that my emotions were VALID and i am perfect and had the RIGHT to be upset that everything went wrong. i am speaking my immunity win into existence it WILL happen. i HAVE done the homework and even if i flop it (which i wont) i will still NOT GO HOME bc matt and maynor are hopefully on my side. OK BUT LIKE IM JUST SO JKAFSHKAJDSFHADSKFJA

This immunity is very important. We cant let Matt or Sharky win it. We need to have the opinion for them available to be voted out.

So like.... I am upset and feel very alone now in this game. Brian got rocked out and i was lied to again. I am just like so over it. I feel manipulated when I did have all the power and could've got a big threat out. but NO sharky and anna the fucking dynamic duo they are decided it would be fun to go to rocks! I am just so over it. Im getting fucking 5th place and I am MAD.

OR AM I? I decided to lie last night and say i gave my idol to brian last night. Why? It would paint an even bigger target on my back so i can go idoling. Cause of course I am not dumb enough to go and give my idol away hell naw. Instead, I need to knock sharky out of the immunity comp tonight but then get everyone on my case so they vote me. then boom idol. i know that this should get me to f3. I hope. If sharky goes next, and anna/maynor win FIC. then i know i can get at least maynor with me cause Bryce will then be the clear winner out of us 4. then maybe i will have a shot at the win but eh, need to get there first. I hope to god this can work and if not, final juror here i come!

I woke up feeling TERRIBLE. I feel so bad about the Brian situation. Matt won't respond because he probably hates me. I feel like a trash person. And tbh I'm questioning if I even deserve to be here.

I feel sick. Literally this is the worst case scenario. If anybody else had won everything would be fine. And now Matt has like given up which makes me even sadder. I'm honestly considering asking everybody to vote me out. So that Matt at least has a shot of making FTC. This sucks.

I WON IMMUNITY WOOOH IM SO ICONIC IM LITERALLY A LOSING FINALIST AND EVERYONE WANTS ME OUT I FEEL LIKE ILL LOSE IN THE END BUT THAT WONT STOP THESE PPL FROM GIVING ME 4TH WHEN I LOSE THE NEXT IMMUNITY AJKFDSHKFAJ THEYRE ALL LIKE SO VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED I WON IM SO SAD NNNN I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR THEM! i really hope they vote out sharky now bc its literally the smart move but im willing to bet theyll keep him to spite me annas gonna be like sharky needs to stay we get him out NEXT round and maynor might be convinced or sth idk and matt idk askdjfhdkjf i thought we were good but he ghosted me all day today so hm. club 96 nina and tina really falling apart

Matt is literally shutting down. Like I'm trying to talk with him and mend things and try to rally him so we can figure out how to keep us both safe and honestly he's just not interested. He seems disinterested and honestly he's being kind of a brat. Stop pouting! Sack up and help me fight. Because yes I was selfish last round and that put us in a tough spot but It was never my idea to trust Bryce or my idea to ignore that we had a vote steal to secure our vote at F6. I'm not the only one who made mistakes. So come on and let's freaking recover! Or are we just supposed to lay down and award Bryce the win? UGH

I was really on the brink of asking everybody to vote me out. But Matt is being so useless right now. If he's going to act like that he'll just get picked off at F4. He has no fight. So I'm over it. I really do love him but at this point I'm going to have to just try my best to get Annabelle and Maynor to believe that they stand the best chance at FTC against me, instead of Bryce or Matt. I've already ruined my reputation so I might as well at least try to fight. I feel over everything but I have to get it together.

The vote hopefully is between Matt and Sharky. I know Bryce really wants Sharky gone. Annabelle and I are talking and seeing which route is the best for us to make it to the end.

Like wow. My brain is so big. Im pretending that I threw away my idol to brian at the last second, and that I am leaving this round. Whereas in actually reality I still have my idol and sure as heck im playing it tonight and making final 4 YEET. like woe is me, woe is me, lol no bitch im here to stay. Sharky like, needs to leave as well. I love him but 2 big if a threat and I would quite like to well, win.

Oh and as I write this annabelle needs me huh. Well listen here, you lied to my fucking face and got brian out. Thus, you also need to leave bish. I am fed up of being lied 2 constantly by these fuckers called my tribemates and I am NOT here for it anymore. Time to play the lies and deceit game myself huh

This round is so weird for me. I felt like I was in such a tough place and feeling really defeated. But now Anna is getting paranoid and there is a very slim chance I could get her to to vote Maynor and then Matt and I both make F4. But my issues is I can't trust anybody. Because I don't think anybody trusts me. Like Maynor is being very noncommittal. Anna keeps flip flopping and maybe she'll flip onto me. Matt seems on board but honestly maybe he deeply deeply hates me and is just lying and will vote me out.

There is a little over an hour left before tribal. I'm convinced that it's me going home. Everyone seems to be too easy to agree to vote with me. It's not looking good.

Literally wtf. The Biggest plot twist of the century is occurring. I'M THE SWING VOTE?? Like since when in hell was I going to be the deciding factor. I mean I like it, I have the power for once and I am safe but still omg i LOVE IT! I am bunsen the Berner in this image, deciding between 2 fates: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzD8lXwUwAAgTlp?format=jpg&name=900x900

Having a panic attack. Im really nervous. Like i know its between Matt and Sharky. But there is still a chance that somehow me or annabell could still go. I hope it doesnt and its clear cut with Sharky and Matt. Fingers cross. Or imma die.

i had a good talk with anna today and i kind of love her (as long as she votes sharky) i think maynor might go now which is sad bc anna says matt/sharky are doing that but like matt says that he wants me maynor him f3 so who knows! anna like was honest with me about not knowing who to vote and seems to be voting sharky but literally anything can happen so whomst knows.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okokok i feel so fucking badly about this move like so badly ughhhhhhhhhh but i feel like it has to happen i'm so so soooo sorry sharky like you have no idea i've been torn all day on what i should do and idk i feel like i lose no matter what this fucking blows

Sharky is voted out 4-1.

#episode #allmadhere

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weareallfallengods · 4 years

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Repost bcz the 1st one is too far down my blog

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

Some neanderthal interrupted my deep contemplation of the double whiskey sour in front of me. Which was very rude. Whiskey sours demand your undivided attention and get cranky if ignored for too long. He should have known that, but either he didn’t know or didnt care, so either way- neanderthal.

He was leaning on the bar with the casual air of someone who has done this same dance too many times, the practiced ease of a used car salesman slapping the roof of a car. At least this one’s breath wasn’t too foul. Not that this hadn’t happened before. Oh no, I’d never been badly hit on in this bar like ten thousand times already. No that never happened. I was able to just sit in peace with my drink for the entire night. Yeah, right. Why do I keep coming back then, you ask? Well, Grace makes one hell of a whiskey sour for one thing.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Ugh, this one wasn't going away with simply being ignored. Lovely.

“Excuse me?” I looked over languidly, with as much disdainful irritation on my face as I could possibly muster from the depths of my three-drinks-in soul.

“I said, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

His stupid shit-eating leer didnt help my mood any. I wasn’t ever in a good mood if I showed up here, and that’s probably one of the reasons I kept coming back- assholes like this gave me a vent for my foul mood.

“No actually. It’s less of a fall and more of a stumble really. More like getting tossed out of a club by a bouncer than falling down the stairs. Couple of bruises, a minor scrape, more damaged pride than anything really.”

I could see his monkey-brain churning slowly to try and digest my response that didn’t fit his pre-programmed scenario. I half expected to see steam coming out of an ear. God, some men are just so... ew.

“Um, what?”

Apparently I broke him. Well, that happens sometimes, when I give someone a response they weren’t expecting. Which happens more often than I’d be willing to admit to myself.

“I said that getting tossed out of heaven doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would. It’s not that far of a tumble really.”

He chuckled, “That’s real cute darlin’, never heard that one before! How’s about you and me find a table so I can hear more about it? Maybe have a look at those bruises, make sure you don't need more…attention.”

Sweet Mother of Mikhail, that was bad. Like even worse than his initial pickup line. I almost had to respect his commitment to such a shitty way of trying to pick me up. He had some balls, that’s for sure, either from drunken stupidity or pure ignorant self-confidence. They say that bravery and stupidity go hand in hand, and here was their shining example.

“Believe me sweetie, you don’t want my 'attention’,” I said softly, for the first time raising my eyes to lock with his glazed gaze. “My attention can become very… uncomfortable.”

He started to smirk for just a split second, but when my eyes met his, both the smirk and the color melted from his face. His mouth hung slack as he felt his soul staring down the opening fiery abyss that he found reflected in my eyes. I watched his mind recoil in horror at the emptiness it saw as it tried futilely to pull back from the horror of empty infinity it was confronted with. I saw in his eyes the sudden awareness of how small and insignificant his place in the universe was, and shrink in horror, trying to flee internally only to find that there’s no escape from your own mind and the finality of human existence.

I looked away just as his eyes started to roll back in his head. No need to cause a scene with him passing out. After all, my whiskey sour was crying from being ignored. As they do.

“I think you should probably go home now Blake,” I demurred softly. “You’ve probably had enough, and your wife would be happy if you tucked the children into bed for once. Oh, and coffee won’t remove the smell of alcohol, so just have a peppermint. Your kids like that smell, reminds them of Christmas.”

He kind of half nodded, like a sleepwalker. I sighed. Hopefully he doesn't have an existential crisis later and just shrugs it off as being too drunk. Hell, maybe he’ll cut back on the sauce. I hate it when I hear about someone offing themselves after meeting me, especially if they have kids. Well, hopefully he just takes the daily inebriation down a notch or two. I can hope, can’t I?

As he shuffled off, lager forgotten at the bar, I hoped he’d be alright. Genuinely. Sure, I enjoyed taking my frustration at being stuck here out on them, but I didn't actually wish them lasting harm. A lesson or two in politeness and decency, a minor scuffle to break up the monotony, but no real damage. That’s what I told myself anyway. Made it easier to pretend to sleep at night. Hope he makes it home ok. Hope his kids get a happy memory of daddy saying goodnight for once. Hope he says he loves his wife, and apologizes. Hah. Yeah. Like that’ll happen. But, what can I say, I’m a foolish optimist at heart. And nothing hurts more than having your hopes crushed. I should know.

Damn. My drink was crying, a small puddle of condensation soaking into the bar napkin it rested on. Again. Another sigh. And one more for the first sigh. I hate sighing. It’s the most comprehensive sound of the acceptance of defeat ever created. The acknowledgment of futility. And I hate that. I thought I’d be fighting to the bitter end, but apparently Destiny had other plans. Fucking Destiny. She’s the whole reason I’m even drinking in the first place.

“Get you a fresh one?”

A sweet silver-bell tinkle of a voice broke my unintentional reverie. Grace was back, checking on me. She knew my peccadilloes by now. She knew how much I hated when my drink got watered down by the ice melting if it got ignored for too long. I nodded.

She smiled pleasantly and slid over a new drink, already prepped.

“I figured, after that creep pounced on ya.”

I frowned slightly. There was something different about this one. Hunh. Oh, the ice. There wasn’t any. There were two black cubes sitting in it instead. OK, why are there rocks in my drink?

I looked up at Grace, still slightly puzzled.

“Oh those? Yeah I noticed you didn’t like it when your drink gets watered down, so I bought some Irish whiskey stones! That way your drink stays cold, but doesn't dilute. Got 'em special, just for you.”

I cocked one eyebrow slightly, “Just for me?”

“Yep! Let’s face it, you’re the only one who comes in here with that kind of class, so I put 'em in the freezer back here with a big 'ol note so Jimmy doesn’t think I’m crazy for keeping rocks in the fridge,” her airy chuckle sprinkled across my ears.

I stared. I was in shock. OK, well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I was still surprised. People don’t normally do nice things for me. Or to me for that matter. If I’m honest, they mostly run away.

“Why…” I couldn't even formulate a coherent sentence. Jesus, get yourself together!

“I dunno, I just figured you don't seem like you have anyone looking out for you, and you seem to attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention, so I thought you could use a nice surprise, y’know, cheer you up a little.”

I nodded, more in surprise than agreement. I literally couldn’t recall the last time someone voluntarily tried to do something nice, just for me, no hope or expectation of reward or compensation. I was probably silent a little too long for a comfortable conversation. Hey, I was revelling in the new experience, cut me some slack.

“Well. Wow, um, thanks.” Yeah real smooth. Sweet Mikhail’s Grave I have no idea how to actually talk to this woman.

In retrospect, that should have been my first clue, but hey, I was a little distracted.

“I appreciate it, that’s really sweet of you.” Ok that’s slightly less glaringly awkward.

“Not trying to be rude at all, but I gotta ask- what’s your deal? Like you come in here all the time, lookin’ like a million bucks, never talk to anyone, get in fights every so often, get harassed like every single time but you keep coming back? I mean, I’m not trying to pry if you don’t wanna talk, but you know, like I’m totally trying to pry!”

Now it was my turn to stare slack-jawed. Oh Fates, how your twists are cruel. I closed my mouth a lot faster than the sot from earlier though, so my pride wasn't too damaged.

“It’s kind of a long and uninteresting story really. Mostly, you make the best whiskey sour. And the people here are…interesting.”

“Honey, there’s no way a story coming from someone who looks like that,” she waved generally up and down at me, “could possibly be boring. Plus, it’s slow, as always, so humor me.”

Sometimes, I can be kind of thick. Slow. Moronic. A nincompoop. A maroon. Several minutes of conversation with this girl and I only just now noticed- she hadn’t looked away from my eyes. She was meeting my gaze with no problem. She wasn't sweating and shaking and passing out. She was looking me right in the eye, just like a normal person, no fear showing on her face. No reaction at all. Just a normal girl, having a normal conversation, with what she thought was another normal person.

“Are…you OK?” Grace looked a bit concerned.

Aw shit, I was staring, and not even trying to hide it. Well now I felt dumb. And, why did I feel dumb? What was up with this girl that she made me feel so self conscious, so uncomfortable, like one of those fainting goats that just freezes and falls over when you blink too hard at them. Speaking of blinking really hard.

“Um, oh, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Really. Sorry, just not many people actually want to have a real conversation with me.”

Grace leaned over the bar a little, propping up on her elbows, lowering her tone a bit. “Well, I don’t know why, 'cuz you sure seem hella interesting to me.”

“Hunh. Well, I don't know about that. But I would like to ask you something first, if you don't mind?”

“Fire away honey!”

“This might sound odd, but, why aren’t you looking away? What do you see when you look at me?”

She pulled a tiny bit closer. “Nothin’ more than just about the sparkly-est green eyes I ever seen; a dash of blue, like the Bahamas. Somethin’ else I can't quite put my finger on…” as she trailed off, I felt her finger lightly brush the knuckles on my hand that was still holding my drink. “I kinda wanna find out though.”

OK, now that was smooth. Holy fuck, that was really, really smooth. Like two hundred year old Laphroaig single malt filtered through the blessed socks of His Holiness the Pope smooth. Hold up, now she was trying to pick me up? What the hell universe? What’s going on here?

I swallowed, unable to look away now myself. “That’s all? Nothing that scares you?”

“Not yet, sugar.”

Alright, that’s different.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I grabbed her hand. Maybe a little too hard from the slight wince I saw.

“OK we need to leave. NOW.”

“Hold up honey, we were just talkin’, we ain’t there yet!” She tried pulling back a little.

“No, no, you don’t understand! I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be able to see that. I can’t explain right now, but we have to figure out how you can see me that way.”

“But my shift’s not over for a couple more hours!”

“OK OK, I’m not being clear, sorry, this is the first time this has happened, so I’m a little shaken.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She actually blushed a little. “I just saw how you shot down every guy who came up to you, and I thought….well, you know, maybe…omg I’m sorry I didn't mean to upset you! I come on strong sometimes, when I’m interested in something, and when you first walked in, I saw those heels and that dress, and I just was like ‘oh wow’ and kinda couldn’t breathe for a minute, you know I don't see many girls come here lookin’ like that and oh God now I’m babbling and someone please shut me up I'm so sorry…”

I put a finger over her lips, gently.

“I’m not upset. Far from it actually. But we have something a tiny bit more urgent than that to address. I’m not who you think I am. Or what, I should say. But more to the point, there’s something bigger going on here. And I need to find out what. Fast.”

“Wait, so you’re not mad I hit on you?”

“We don’t have time for that now!” She recoiled slightly at my vehemence. “No, I’m not upset, but that’s not the point! You shouldnt be able to see my eyes. My real ones anyway. I was too slow on picking that up right away, and I’m sorry, but we have to get out of here, now, because something is different, and in my world, that’s never a good thing.”

“Your world?”

I was getting frustrated. “Yes, but I’ll explain later! I need you to come with me now. We need answers, and we need them fast. So, do you trust me?”

She hesitated. “Yeeeeees? I think? Like I wanna, but I don’t really know you?”

“Good enough for now! Let’s go!”

To her credit, she just dropped her bar towel, grabbed her phone from under the bar and came out from behind it, grabbing my hand as she yelled to the back, “Hey Jimmy! I gotta leave! Personal thing- cover for me?”

Just then, there was a bit of a commotion at the door. Grace turned to look, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what was there. I just clutched her hand even tighter and yanked her towards the back; there was an emergency exit near the bathrooms from what I remembered of that one really bad 'birthday’. Yeah, that was a bad one. But we ran.

Good thing I’m not super tall, wouldn’t want to draw attention, I thought to myself sarcastically. Goddamn heels. Why do I even wear these?

Sounds of glass breaking and shouting reached us as we plowed through the emergency exit into the alleyway. Don’t worry about that now, just keep moving.

“This way!” I pulled her to the front of the alley.

“Holy shit, that’s your bike?” She sounded genuinely impressed. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who had that reaction at seeing it.

“Oh yeah, she’s a sweet ride, and perfect for this situation. Or any situation, really. Jump on.”

I probably should have shut the door behind us, but hey, it was a day for me missing obvious things. The noise coming from the bar was getting louder.

“I’ve never done this before!” Grace exclaimed excitedly in my ear as I kicked my beast to life.

We roared out into the street, my white and gold Valentino’s left sparkling on the pavement where I kicked them. Fuckin’ useless, beautiful shoes. Sigh, they weren’t cheap. Oh well, they’re just shoes.

“Where are we going!?” Grace yelled over the rush of wind whipping our hair like tiny flails of purgatory.

“Not sure yet! But we’re going to find out!”

“I don't even know your name!”

My heart sank a bit.

“Don't worry! Neither do I! ”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bar exploded behind us as it faded into the night thanks to the fabulous Ducati between our legs. Oh and that wasn’t metaphorical- I glanced in the mirror at the sound; it literally exploded. Ball of fire and all. I guess that’s to be expected, what with all the alcohol and what I’d suspected for a while was going on in the basement. Way too many flammable liquids in one place. But that didn't really matter now. All that mattered was getting away from what caused the explosion as fast as we possibly could.

“What the hell was that!?” Grace yelled in my ear. Again. I’m going to have to get some headsets or something if this is going to be a habit. Well, the riding together part, not the fleeing for our lives part anyway.

“I’ll explain as soon as we can talk, promise! For now, just hold on! And don't look behind us!"

“As if I’m gonna let go now!”

That glance in the rear view told me as much as I needed to know, which was more than I wanted, but enough to have an idea of what we were running from. I mean, I figured that’s what it was, but I’m still tired of being right, even after all this time. You’d think I'd be used to it by now.

That pale blue and red glow was enough. Hell, the noise it made had been enough for me to know what it was. And trust me, I was not overreacting by running first. I’d seen that color a few too many times in my life to think that there was anything else to be done except run. Once was more than enough for anyone. Who am I kidding? Most people don't get a chance to see it more than once. Guess I’m just lucky. Or the opposite. Pretty sure I’m the latter actually.

Grace was shivering on my back as we sped away. She’d gone quiet, her mood matching the night around us, the neon signs and street lights reflecting their multi-colored halos in the rain-slicked streets. Fog was starting to rise from the pavement, adding to the soft glow the streets were taking on. Thin, wispy strands curling around street lights and bus stops, blasted into nothing as the bike tore through them, the roar of the exhaust shattering the relative quiet of the late night calm.

Well, it should have been quiet anyway. The explosion of the bar kind of changed that. Then came the sound.

It mixed with the growing whine from the crotch rocket under us, which seemed like a fitting counterpoint to the cacophony of something that sounded like if you’d thrown a hundred maltese dogs into a tornado and then blasted it over a crappy school intercom. I hated that sound. Almost as much as the dogs it reminded me of.

“Aw shit, it saw us.” Time to see if the tires on this baby gripped as well as the kid at the shop claimed they did.

Well, at least there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, even though there weren’t many trucks and accountant-driven sedans to weave in and out of, there were still enough of them that it took a hell of a lot more concentration than my alcohol soaked brain was ready to deal with. Definitely hadn’t planned on being the next Lewis Hamilton after a night at the bar, that’s for damn sure.

“What the fuu….?” Grace’s expletive trailed off in the whipping wind as I kept us weaving in and out and through, gunning the shit out of my bike whenever there was an opening big enough to do so without turning us into extremely messy, if fashionable, pancakes.

“Try not to worry about it! OK I mean, yeah, worry, but not like understand worry!”

“How the hell do you not worry about...that!?”

I took a good look back for the first time as we whipped around a corner, using the rain-slick street to slide without losing any speed. My heart sank. At least it wasn’t in my throat choking me anymore. Sarcastic positivity in the face of death? Yeah that’s my jam. Even if I do keep it to myself. Most of the time anyway.

The damn thing was getting closer. Faster than I thought it could. Damn, tonight just wasn’t my night for noticing things, now was it?

That second of splitting my attention nearly sent us flying and a tired busboy standing at the corner bus stop to the hospital, but we only just missed him, with barely enough room to avoid slamming into the back end of something that should have been parked at a kids soccer game, not getting on the expressway at this time of night.

Slipping into an alley entrance, Grace’s nails dug through the flimsy material I was wrapped in, making me yelp in surprise.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I was about to tell her it was cool, considering the circumstances, and given that I wasn’t sure if it made me jump because it hurt, or her hands were cold, or because of where they’d slid down to, when we blew out the other side of the alley, causing a literal postcard explosion from the stand I clipped as we bounced out on to the main road again, just in time to swerve hard to avoid becoming Penske poster-girls for a single truck.

"Sweet Jesus fuck! What the hell IS that?"

Goddammit, didn’t I tell her not to look back? I wasn’t going to tell her how the beast chasing us had seen us dart down the alley, and since it couldn't fit through the traffic as neatly as we could, silently charge down the side of the building, slamming into the same shop front that had so recently lost it's postcard stand as it tried to take the same corner, still snuffling the ground and air to track us. I managed to gain us a few precious seconds of lead as it disentangled itself from the fruit cart, re-launching itself down the alley, bicycle wheel still caught in it's whiskers that streamed and whipped behind it.

“It’s running fucking sideways on the buildings!”

Aw shit. She can see it. I was afraid of that.

And that was all the distraction it needed too.

With a last spring off the corner of an empty flower shop, the beast took a massive swipe at us. Come on, come on, make the corner! It's thick talons cut a blazing arc through the rain as it howled. One of its claws caught the rear end of the bike, knocking it heavily to the side, and nearly throwing Grace off. Good thing she’s got a death grip on my hips right now. Oh boy don’t think of that, too distracting right now, that’s how you get killed!

Grace screamed again as the bike was whipped around violently from behind, and Grace she was confronted with a vision not even her wildest nightmares could have come up with. At least, I hope she doesn’t have nightmares like this anymore.

The beast’s jaws opened wide to crush us like a nutcracker on adderall, glowing drool whipping around in thick, viscous strands from teeth bigger than my hand, while she seemed mesmerized by the halo of tentacle-like whiskers that seemed to float in slow motion, despite how fast everything was happening. The beast looked at me, it’s eyes burning red meeting mine as I tried to maintain my grip on the bike that was rapidly being torn from my hands. I was holding on to that tank with my knees in a way that would have made the Russian Women’s weightlifting team proud. I could hear the scream that tried to jump from Grace’s mouth only for it to turn into a slow rush of soundless breath as she slammed into my back from the force of me yanking that bike around as hard as I could possibly manage.

Ground. Street. Tires on. People off. Stay upright. Don’t let go. Run.

The bellow from the beast behind us meant nothing to me now. I was numb, my world narrowing to the few feet in front of me, and Grace behind me. Swerve. Dodge. Car. Bike. Red light. Faster. Green. Faster. Faster. Get away. Car. Car. Bus. Turn.

Suddenly the cars all dropped away. The turnpike. Oh thank God. I opened up the throttle all the way and finally realized I should probably start breathing again.

Grace was trying to yell something, probably wanting an explanation. I mean I can’t blame her, but I said I’d explain! Did it look like now was suddenly the time for it? Then again, maybe it was important.

I turned my head a bit to try to talk to her, but I paused with my mouth still open. The beast was gone.Like gone gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Not even like really far away gone, just not there any more. I squinted. Yeah, that was a little too easy.

“Did we get away?”

I was actually about to answer her, when a glowing blue shape cashed into us from the side, just as I was starting to finally let my legs relax a little. Everything seemed to slow down. I know, everyone says that, but it’s true! I don’t know, maybe it was the whiskey sours, but as soon as we got hit, the world turned in to super slow-mo as the bike was ripped from my hands, and I felt Grace be pulled away from me.

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kristipetersenschoonover · 6 years

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The Extinct Species Graveyard at the Bronx Zoo’s BOO AT THE ZOO Event was fascinating–and sad.

Nathan and I love to visit the Bronx Zoo, which is just about an hour from our house—it’s like being on vacation for a day, and it could be said the zoo is part of our lives (we’ve “financially adopted” many of their animals over the years, everything from a bat to a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach we named Mountain King). Since we’re members, we try to make it down for the zoo’s special events throughout the year.

October brought Boo at the Zoo: weekends full of activities such as a beer garden, pumpkin carving demonstration, not-really hay rides, marshmallow roasting pits, candy trails, a corn maze—and my favorite, a Haunted Forest in the abandoned World of Darkness Building. Little known fact about me? It was my first-ever walk-through Haunted House, and I did pretty well!

It was lots of fun to see kids in costume.

Look who I ran into in New York City!

…and to visit our hissing cockroach, Mountain King.

My Valentine’s Day Gift to Nathan

Check out Mountain King! He is clearly aptly named. Look how large he is compared to the others, and a spectacular gold color (which you can’t really see in this terrible light).

The exhibit that struck me most was the Extinct Species Graveyard, which was set up in a little-used grove of trees next to The Mouse House. It wasn’t there for a Halloween thrill, nor was it there as just another decoration to fill up space; it seemed part educational, and part memorial. I was surprised by the profound sense of sadness I felt as we wandered through the headstones.

Here’s a tour!

The graveyard was located on a perfect, flat, shady — and unused the rest of the year — spot next to The Mouse House.

The area where this was set up made it feel real.

Officially discovered in the late 1600s, the Falkland Islands Wolf’s tame nature spelled its doom—it hadn’t learned to fear humans, so settlers could easily trick it into coming close enough to kill it. They were hunted for meat and fur, and were considered threatening to sheep. The last one was killed in West Falkland in 1876. For a thorough history (that looks to be well-researched—loads of legitimate sources, here), visit http://messybeast.com/extinct/warrah.htm

Passenger Pigeons were abundant in the 19th century, and tales of their titanic flocks—they took over entire forests, appeared thick as waterfalls, and left entire towns blanketed in feces—are just plain hard to believe. They were basically hunted out of extinction, both for their meat by starving frontiersman, and because they were a nuisance: they competed with farm animals for foodstuffs, among other things. Once the railroads came into being, there was no stopping hunters and trappers from sporting these animals right out of existence. The last known Passenger Pigeon’s name was the Cincinnati Zoo’s Martha, and she died in September of 1914. For more information, check out Audubon’s “Why the Passenger Pigeon Went Extinct” here: http://www.audubon.org/magazine/may-june-2014/why-passenger-pigeon-went-extinct

The Tasmanian Tiger was killed off on the Australian mainland by widespread hunting, but survived on Tasmania until the last one died in a zoo in the 1930s. Australians haven’t given up on the hope that this thylacine is still alive, however—to this day, reports of sightings are frequent, and even a recent episode of Expedition Unknown had Josh Gates out hunting for it. Initially, scientists had proposed many theories for the creature’s extinction on Tasmania, although there is new evidence to suggest that it was a changing climate that was the culprit http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/09/28/mystery-disappeared-tasmanian-tiger-finally-solved/.

The story of the last authenticated Labrador Duck’s demise is rather sad http://www.chemunghistory.com/pages/labradorduck.html, but literally, almost nothing is known about this bird—its breeding was done in such remote areas (it’s suspected way up in Greenland) that it died out almost before we noticed. Apparently once prevalent on Long Island Sound, we do know, thanks to a journal called Arctic Zoology in 1785, that a specimen was sent from Connecticut to England (see where I got this from here: https://birdsna.org/Species-Account/bna/species/labduc/introduction). Not very exciting, but there is one ornithologist who made it his mission to visit every single specimen (there are 55) left in existence, which he details in his book The Curse of the Labrador Duck. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-curse-of-the-labrador-duck-16641319/

Probably the poster child for extinction, the Dodo Bird has something in common with the Falkland Island Wolf—it had no fear of humans, because it had never had to fear anything before. Although it’s widely held that sailors arriving on the island of Mauritius, near Madagascar, hunted them and ate their eggs, another theory suggests that it was the cats, rats, pigs and other animals the sailors brought with them went feral. Read more in a Forbes Magazine Quora reprint, “What Happened to the Last Dodo Bird?” here. https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2016/09/20/what-happened-to-the-last-dodo-bird/#2eb2d48e9c2b

The Pig-footed Bandicoot, an adorable little Australian marsupial, is believed to have not survived the introduction of European cattle, as that would’ve cause a major change to the environment and the availability of food. Although the last verified individual was seen in the early 1900s, there’s photographic, video and audio evidence to suggest the creature may still be alive and well…sounds a little far-fetched to me, but judge for yourself: http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2007/04/pig-footed-bandicoot-rises-dead

Related to today’s manatees and dugongs, Steller’s Sea Cow, indigenous to the northern Pacific, were hunted to extinction in the 1700s by Russian and European fur traders. Another theory floating around out there attributes the final blow for this species to the stress on the sea otter population which caused a rise in sea urchins which caused a depletion of kelp—the Steller’s main foodstuff. More information here: https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/04/pleistoseacow/522831/

The Golden Toad lived in Costa Rica’s Monteverde Cloud Forest and was declared officially extinct in 2004. This animal was unique in that males were a dazzling orange, but the females came in many different colors, among them yellow and green. For a long time it was thought that global warming killed these stunning animals, but now they think it might’ve been a fungus: http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2010/03/global-warming-didnt-kill-golden-toad

In another case of “we didn’t realize what we were doing,” the Quagga, which was indigenous to South Africa, died out in the late 1800s. Like many other animals of the plains, they were ruthlessly hunted—they were regarded as competitors for the same food as sheep and goats. What’s come to light is that they were not a separate species of zebra, but a subspecies of the zebra we all know and love. There is a revival project going on in South Africa, which you can read more about here: https://quaggaproject.org/

The Greak Auk—which I’ve seen referred to as “the original penguin”—was scattered all over the northern Atlantic, and was exploited for its eggs, feathers, oil, and fat. Archeological finds also suggest that it was important to ancient maritime peoples. The saddest story, though, is the one of the crew of a ship which tied the bird’s feet together and attempted to take it home. When a violent storm hit, the sailors were certain it was the work of the “devil bird” they’d brought on board, so they stoned it to death. An extensive history in Smithsonian Magazine’s “When the Last of the Great Auks Died, It Was by the Crush of a Fisherman’s Boot,” here: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smithsonian-institution/with-crush-fisherman-boot-the-last-great-auks-died-180951982/

The Carolina Parakeet’s story is especially tragic, because it was the only species of parrot native to the United States. The last known wild specimen was killed in 1904, and the last captive one died in a zoo in 1918. This bird had a few causes of death: habitat loss, the pet and fashion trades, and farming. There’s a pretty extensive discussion in Audubon’s “The Last Carolina Parakeet” here: http://johnjames.audubon.org/last-carolina-parakeet

I’ve always had an affinity for toads, so here I played around with getting a selfie. Not great.

Me and the toad’s ass. Nathan took this one.

Nathan loves the Tasmanian Tiger. So this is the one he chose to pose with.

The Bronx Zoo’s Extinct Species Graveyard Nathan and I love to visit the Bronx Zoo, which is just about an hour from our house—it’s like being on vacation for a day, and it could be said the zoo is part of our lives (we’ve “financially adopted” many of their animals over the years, everything from a bat to a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach we named Mountain King).

#Boo at the Zoo #Carolina Parakeet #Dodo Bird #extinct species list #Falkland Islands Wolf #Golden Toad #Great Auk #Halloween events in New York City #Labrador Duck #Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches #Passenger Pigeon #Pig-footed Bandicoot #Quagga #Steller’s Sea Cow #Tasmanian Tiger #The Bronx Zoo #where can the kids go to dress up in costumes in New York

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