#'are you getting along well with maru

[mingigoo]

chocolate || Choi San (m.)

❆ pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x brother’s best friend! Choi San

❆ summary ⇢ you never got along with your brother’s best friend San, but you really never needed to. His pretty face and cocky attitude pissed you right off. But when he shows up on New Year’s Eve when you’re home alone, and a snowstorm forces you to stay together for the time being, you can’t help yourself from his enchanting charms—and sexy ass body.

❆ genre/au ⇢ smut, forced proximity, brothers best friend au, snowed in au

❆ warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, fingering, shower sex, oral sex (male receiving), slightly rough but really not too much, creampie, unprotected sex, the power goes out and they want to fuck each ther so bad I’m sorry

❆ word count ⇢ 5.2k

❆ taglist ⇢  @atinywhore @ch0isa99ie @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)

The snow crunched under your feet as you walked up to your parents' home.

Christmas had just passed—although both your mom and dad were out of the area, having the time of their lives in the warmth of another country. You envied them, but you were happy to be back in town after a rough breakup and a messy semester.

When you walked in the door with a bag of groceries and now covering your eyelashes, your little brother Wooyoung sat on the couch in the living room, star-shaped shades on his face and a shiny jacket over his bare chest.

“What….why are you dressed like that?” you inquired, shoving your snowy shoes off your feet.

He stared at you blankly. “Are you stupid?”

You scoffed, walking past him to put the bag of groceries away—groceries that were solely for baking cookies. A perfect way to spend the night.

He stood up and followed you in. “Y/n, it’s New Year's Eve. How else should I be dressed?”

You forgot about it. All of it. It already pained you that you were alone this new Year after spending four of them with the same man.

You shoved the bag of flour into the cabinet aggressively. “I don't know, not like a disco ball? That jacket is gonna get puked on and ruined.”

He looked over at you, noticing your distaste. “Are you…..is Soobin, you know, coming in for the holiday? He already missed Christmas.”

Soobin decided to dump you for reasons unknown. You believed it was because he was chasing his dream of becoming an idol, and he couldn't have a bunch of sexy baggage like you, so you let him lose you. 

But if that wasn't the case and he broke up for you for the hell of it, you would strangle that stupid hot boy and let him pay for his crime of losing the best he’s ever had.

Anyway…

“Oh, we broke up,” you shoved the stuff around in the cabinet, hoping to distract your brother from the horrible news. You didn't tell him the whole time you've been home. You've been avoiding it—it was already embarrassing to be dumped, more so around Christmas.

It did not, in fact, distract him.

“Holy fuck, really?” he leaned forward, intrigued. “Why? What did he do?”

“Oh, you know,” you bit the corner of your lip, trying not to look like you were lying straight through your teeth. “He’s chasing his dream. I broke up with him so he didn't have to struggle with the girlfriend baggage and all. He was so heartbroken….”

Woo blinked. 

“Oh, girl,” he offered a sincere smile. Well, as sincere as wooyoung could possibly get. “He dumped your ass, didn't he?”

You stared at him for a second. You couldn't get past him—he’s seen breakups way too many times with San by his side.

“Yep.”

You stood there in silence for a minute or two, trying your best not to reminisce on your relationship—even though you were over him. It wasn't even about Soobin; rather, it was the aching feeling of being someone’s number two. A career, an understandable priority, still felt like a slap in the face to you, as you were less important in his eyes. You can joke with yourself and others all you want—but you crave that feeling of being someone’s pride and joy. Someone’s only thought when the world is about to end.

“Welp,” Woo sighed, not knowing what to say. “I have to head out soon. I’m meeting up with San and Yeosang to head to the party.”

You sighed, leaning against the counter behind you. “Have fun.”

He pondered for a second, sticking his tongue into the inside of his cheek. “Wanna come with us?” he asked.

You shook your head, already not feeling like doing anything—especially anything involving…..San. “No, no, you go have fun,” you smiled at him as best as you could.

He nodded, but gave you a look of worry before he left the kitchen.

You followed him like a lost puppy as he tossed his shoes on in the doorway, struggling to bring his chucks over his heel—his frat shoes, as he likes to express. The shoes he doesn't mind puking on. You watched in enjoyment as he wrestled his shoes.

“I’ll be back later,” he ruffled your hair tenderly, but the grimace on his face felt like he wanted to tackle you—in a playful way, of course.

“Be safe—”

He shut the door with a smirk before you finished your sentence.

—

“A sudden storm will be rising upon us within the next hour or so, with wind gusts up to……”

You could hardly hear the TV from the kitchen as you blasted Christmas music, flour on every square inch of you. You were baking—your favorite hobby. It’s been a while since you were able to bake carefree, and now that you had an unlimited amount of free time, you were going to bake as much as you missed out on. 

As you shoved in another pan of cookies into the oven, you heard the door open and shut loudly, so loud that you were able to hear it over your music.

“Wooyoung, what the hell?” you grumbled, your back turned from the doorway as you fixed up the already baked cookies to cool. “Can you slam that shit any louder? And aren't you supposed to be at a party?”

Silence. No response. 

“I said, aren't you supposed to be—”

And when you turned around, it was most definitely not wooyoung in the kitchen doorway.

You dropped a cookie onto the floor. 

“Well,” San smirked, his grey hood covering his dark hair, his lips curled sexily, and his eyebrows raised. “Aren't you a beauty?”

You stood there in a flour-covered apron, flour-covered hair, face, and everything in between, looking at the man across the kitchen table.

“San,” you breathed, brushing your hands off on your apron and bending down quickly to pick up the dropped cookie. “What are you doing here? Wooyoung told me he was meeting up with you.”

“To see you, of course,” He purred, taking a step closer to you. He walked around the table to get to where you were standing, and not surprisingly, he lifted a finger to the corner of your lips and then continued to taste it on his own. 

You shivered in what you wished was disgust.

His eyes lit up as he tasted it, licking his lips. “Mmm. Chocolate?” he hummed, leaning against the counter next to you. He pulled down his hood to reveal his messy, silky black hair. “You've always been such a great baker.”

“You scoffed, turning back to the stove to check on your cooling cookies. “Why are you here?”

“You just asked me that.”

“Yeah, but you didn't answer correctly.”

“I’m here to see you, baby,” he leaned forward. 

You leaned back.

“Ha!” you laughed sarcastically, picking up your spatula to wield it like a weapon in his direction. When you met his gaze, you felt your stomach drop from his pretty smile and his sickening gaze. “Wooyoung isn't here, alright? So you better leave, or I will kick you out—”

“I’ll just wait here for him until he gets back.” San shrugged, stealing a cookie before running away from the kitchen.

You followed him into the living room, tracking your flouriness all over the place. “Can't you just go home? I don't understand why—”

He was standing in front of the TV as your voice trailed off. Apparently, there was a huge storm that no one saw coming. San watched intently as he snacked happily on the cookie as if finding out that there was a blizzard outside was the best news he’d ever heard.

“A blizzard?” you freaked out, running up to the screen right next to him. After watching for a few moments, you went to the window, looking out to see the roads completely covered and the wind blowing a dusting of white all over the place.

“Oh….I didn't see that coming,” San’s irritatingly attractive voice spoke from right behind you, and when you turned around, he stood with a sinister smile on his face.

“You should go, for real,” you sighed, looking up into his eyes before moving your gaze anxiously. “Before you can't.” 

He peered over your shoulder, letting out a puff of air. “I don't think I can drive back on the roads like this….” he sighed, tilting his head at you. “It's too dangerous.”

You blinked, trying your hardest not to cave into those lustrous cat-like eyes. He blinked at you now, his expression unreadable.

It's been ages since you saw this man—ages, and he still treats you as if you were best buddies all your life. In reality, you've never once liked the guy. His hair pissed you off, his crooked smile boiled your blood, and god, his ears? Why were they so cute? How can ears be cute? Don't get yourself started on his lips…..lips that you….may have kissed once or twice all those years ago.

He never talked about it, so you just ignored it.

And now that you were thinking about his lips, your eyes dropped down to them, and when you realized, you cleared your throat and brought your gaze back up to his eyes.

“If you stay, you have to act like you're not here,” you breathed, crossing your arms over your messy apron. He looked down—down at your cleavage and smirked. “Eyes up here, mister.”

He hesitated to move his gaze, and when he did, your stomach flipped once more—god, maybe you just needed to get laid. It's been ages since you had a good fuck….

No. what were you thinking? No. no, no. Stop it.

You took a second to gain your thoughts before speaking again. “Just… don't do anything until wooyoung gets here.”

He stood close to you, looking down with those seductive eyes, his smile blindingly attractive. He didn't even need to speak to make your knees weak—which was probably why you hated him so much.

He bent his head to get closer to you, that smile still on his face. 

“Can I speak, master?” he nearly moaned, biting the corner of his lip. “I feel like it would be unfortunate to remain silent during our….reuniting time.”

You let out a little chuckle. “What? Reuniting time?” you uncrossed your arms. “That's funny. We were never close enough to unite in the first place.”

“Oh, y/n,” he purred, reaching out to twirl a finger around your hair. You wanted to run away. Your mind told you to, but everything else craved him—as it always has. “I would say we united many times, haven't we?”

He looked like he wanted to grab you as tight as he could and swallow you whole—but the conflict in his eyes said no. you watched his eyes dance around you, how his hand froze mid-air within your hair, and his lips flat in a line.

And it took everything in you to move away from him. 

You took a step back, watching his eyes drop to your feet.

“You can stay,” you coughed, looking anywhere but him. “But don't…don’t bother me. Don't talk about….uniting, or reuniting, or whatever…..” you huffed, giving him one last look before running into the kitchen, only to find the cookies in the oven burnt to a crisp.

And once again, the cycle began. San’s enchantment was whirling around you, capturing everything in its wake. Your heart never belonged to you—no, it always belonged to him.

And he will make sure you will never forget it.

—

San sat at the table, watching you intently as you made another batch of cookie dough.

“How’s school?” he asked you, his voice soft.

You shrugged, stirring the dough with your bare hand, as there was no mixer. “It's fine, same same.”

He nodded, his chin held up by his palm. You continued to mix the dough.

“How’s what's his name? Soo—Soomin? Soojin? Soo–”

“Soobin?” you asked, trying not to smile at his obvious distaste.

He nodded, a frown on his lips.

You didn't get to respond as your phone interrupted the conversation.

“Ugh,” you huffed, holding your dough-covered hands in the air, unable to get your phone in your pocket. “Can you…can you get my phone for me?”

San stood up. “Where is it?” 

You pointed to your back pocket. “There, in my pocket.”

When he got next to you, he hesitated on reaching to get it, but when you gave him the death stare, his gentle hand glided down your back, down your ass, and to your pocket. You froze at his touch and nearly missed the phone call from your mess of emotions. 

He answered the call for you and held it up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Oh, thank god,” wooyoung breathed. “Don't go anywhere, alright?”

You scoffed, looking down at your dough-covered hands and your filthy clothes. “Ah, I wouldn't worry about me going anywhere. I’m definitely not fit for an outing.”

Wooyoung didn't laugh like his normal self. “For real, don't go anywhere. I won't be home for a good while because of the storm, so make sure you stay safe and warm.”

“Awe, I didn't know you cared so much about me,” you cooed, but when you saw San’s little smile at your words, you immediately swallowed hard, lost in thoughts you shouldn't be having while you're on the phone.

“Anyway, just be safe,” Woo sighed, taking a breath in. “I’ll be living off this shitty-ass beer and stale cookies. These sons of bitches are so cheap I swear—”

Without warning, the lights flickered slightly.

And then they went completely off, leaving you and San with no lights, no power, no anything.

“What the fuck—”

“For fucks sake,” San hissed, catching him off guard. Wooyoung, however, perked up the minute he heard a man.

“Who’s there with you? I heard a voice?”

“Oh, it’s just San,” you mumbled, looking up at him, where his eyes even sparkled in the dark. You forgot your train of thought for a moment. “He came here looking for you.”

“Yeah, right. That dude’s been obsessed with seeing you ever since he knew you were coming home. What a little pussy. He had to make up a lie to come over? Pfft—”

“Ah, oh no, looks like we lost service too—you’re breaking up—” San coughed, and after a moment of time for wooyoung to react, he hit the end button, tossing your phone onto the counter with haste.

You gave him a funny look as he tried to ignore your gaze. The room was extremely dark—not a single light source other than the little bluish glow from your home screen on your phone. 

You had no idea what to say to him; he didn't know what to say, either. You just stood in the dark kitchen, the oven at a standstill, and so were your feelings. He was looking down at his feet, trying his hardest not to look at you—although it was too dark to see you, anyway.

“Guess I’m done baking,” you hummed, giving him a slight look of curiosity before you took the cookies out of the cold oven. 

“Yeah, that won't work now,” he muttered quietly, very much unlike his usual dickhead way of speaking. He swallowed hard, too close to you. 

You stood strong right in front of him, your body telling you to grab him by the neck and kiss those gorgeous lips of his. Maybe you were just that desperate to feel something after your breakup—or maybe you always wanted San—either way, you were so close to giving in to your desire, but you pushed yourself away and took off your apron slowly.

“You never….you never answered my question earlier.”

You set the apron down on the counter next to your phone. It shut off now, leaving you in complete darkness, with San only a shadow in front of you.

You frowned, but you couldn't see the look on his face in front of you. “What question?”

“About how Soobin is?”

You scoffed, trying your best to look up into San’s eyes. You saw them sparkle slightly, and you stared into them. “So you do know his name.”

“I really don't care what his name is, y/n,” he grumbled, taking a step closer to you.

You smiled, knowing by the tone of his voice that he was aggravated. “Well, if you must know, I really don't know how he is.”

San grew quiet, but you heard him take a breath in. “what do you mean?”

“We broke up, so I wouldn't know how he is, alright?” you hissed at him, but only to get a reaction out of him—god, you didn't know what you’d do if what wooyoung said was true—that if San came here to see you, that he was waiting to see you for ages, that he’s irritated over the fact you’ve had a boyfriend—all of it would send you into a spiral. You always told yourself you'd need to be completely wasted to even think of San in a new light….but here in the dark, with his hot breath caressing your cheeks, you were ready to say fuck it to your facade. 

He didn't say anything for a while. He just stood there, his one hand leaning against the table to hold himself up. 

“You…broke up with him?” he hummed quietly.

“Mhm,” you nodded, tilting your head up to try and meet his gaze.

He swallowed, nodding. “Mmm. I see,” he smiled—at least it looked like he did. “Nice.”

“Nice?” you furrowed your brows.

“Well, I mean, I never liked the guy, so—”

“Why?”

“I don't know—”

“Yes, you do know,” you took a step even closer, causing him to catch his breath. “What’s the reason?”

He sighed, his breath dancing across your skin. “Well, like, two years ago or so, when we were out at the bar,” San took a second to form what he wanted to say, and you stood and looked up at him without a blink. “He got you a drink with Malibu in it.”

You blinked, confused. “So? I don't even remember that San, I don't know why you're bringing that up—”

“Because you hate coconut, y/n,” he interrupted you, his tone of voice exasperated. “And you hate going to bars—they stress you out. You didn't even finish the drink before he got you another and didn't even care to know what you liked…so I didn't like him.”

You stood there, mouth slightly dropped after his words. 

That was enough of a confession for you. 

“So….you didn't like him because he got me a coconut drink or….” you reached out, your fingers delicately draping over his that were resting on the table. He jumped slightly at your touch as if he was never expecting it. “Or because you could do better than him?”

San remained still as you let your fingers glide up his arm, feeling the softness of his hoodie that you wished to take off.

“....I think you know why I didn't like him….” He breathed.

You leaned forward in the dark, your gaze piercing right into his. Your hand met the base of his neck, sending shivers down his spine from the coldness of them. He let out a sound of pleasure at your touch, your other hand meeting his waist.

You didn't say anything else. You just wanted to fall into him, even with the consequences; it didn't matter what would happen tomorrow. He was breathing shallowly, his lips parted, begging you to kiss them as if he was waiting forever. 

And as if they knew the timing, the lights flickered back on, revealing a lovestruck San—his eyes hazy with desire and his expression out of a book.

His fingertips found their home on the side of your cheek, holding your face gently, carefully, as if you were glass.

You were less than an inch away from his lips, but before you pressed them to his, you stepped back, knowing that you were a filthy mess—you didn't want him to spend this time with you while you were embarrassingly messy.

“I….” you paused, pulling away from his hold. “I…need to shower,” you mumbled, giving him a look.

He blinked slowly. “A…shower?” 

“Yeah.”

With one last look at him, you saw the hesitation in his eyes. You walked past him, brushing up against him before you walked up the steps.

And before you got to the bathroom at the end of the hall, you heard his clunky footsteps make their way up the creaky stairs.

“Wait, hold on,” he huffed, grabbing your wrist to turn you around. “What was that?”

You looked at him innocently. “What was what?”

He furrowed his brows. “You know, that.”

You shrugged, fighting the smile that begged to arise. “What?”

He groaned, dropping your hand in a fit. “You were going to kiss me.”

You tilted your head, playing with him. “Was I?”

“Were you not?”

“I don't know.”

“Yes, you do know! You were literally about to kiss me—”

“And what if I was?” you whispered, your eyes slanted with mischief. He looked at you, his own expression changing from confusion to….well, more confusion. 

He bit his bottom lip. 

“Am I supposed to follow you into the shower?”

You smiled, letting him decide what you wanted him to do.

With a curt turn, you opened the bathroom door, leaving it open a crack, inviting him in.

You took off your messy top, covered in flour. You waited patiently, taking off your bra and your pants, and all that was left was your panties before he entered abruptly. 

“Listen, you can't leave that door open and not expect me to—oh,” he paused, his breath shaky. 

You stood unmovingly, facing him.

And with a slight scoff, he ran towards you. 

“Fuck it,” he huffed, slamming his body into yours, swallowing you with his whole being.

His lips caressed yours, biting your tongue, shoving his own into your mouth. You took in a sharp breath as he sucked on your soul, his hand finding your breast to squeeze it tightly.

“God, I’ve been waiting to do that forever,” he groaned against your mouth, his other hand playing with the hem of your underwear. With one quick motion, he pulled them down, falling onto your ankles as you stepped out of them.

You smiled into his kiss, tearing away at his hoodie before he pulled it over his head, leaving him shirtless and full of glory. You parted away from his lips, kissing down his chest, over his mounds of muscle, until your knees hit the floor.

He froze under your touch, your fingertips gliding over his hard-on. You grinned devilishly up at him, his expression in a mess of excitement and nervousness. Him? Nervous? Impossible.

You pulled down his pants as swiftly as you could, causing him to hiss sharply. He was fully on display for you now, his cock pulsing and ready for you. You grazed your fingers from his base to his tip; then you took it in your mouth without a warning.

He grunted, immediately gripping the hair on top of your head, tossing his own back with aggression. His little moans were music to your ears; not once did you ever believe you'd hear them—he looked so fuckable. So desirable. He always did, which explains why he was your first-ever kiss, why you always thought back to him when you were with Soobin, why you couldn't avoid his charms even though you so desperately tried.

He moaned your name—said it with such haste as if he couldn't hold back. As if he’s wanted this for ages. He leaned into your mouth, moving his hips slightly to push himself in deeper. You let out a gag, causing him to moan once more, making you smile against his cock.

You moved back and forth on him, no hands in sight. You glanced up at him through your eyelashes as you pressed your lips at the base of his dick, watching his eyes close tight and his chest heave.

“God fuck,” he huffed, his fingers tying knots in your hair, causing tears to build up behind your eyes. You liked it—loved it—his touch was ecstasy.

Without a minute to waste, San pulled you upward and off of him, just for him to press his lips to yours, reaching backward to turn the knob on the hot water.

You giggled against his lips as he almost fell. He smiled back, teeth clashing into yours as he pressed his bare skin to yours. You both stepped into the shower, not even caring that the water wasn't warm enough yet. 

His tongue slid down your throat, caressing the roof of your mouth, exploring the uncharted territory. Water spilled over your heads, dripping down your faces, drenching your hair. His hand gripped the back of your head as he slammed you into the wall of the shower, causing you to gasp.

He pulled away for a second, his eyes heavy, his lips parted as water dripped down his beautiful face. He pressed his forehead against yours—feeling as though this scene was all he’d ever wanted; it was premeditated—not a quick decision.

He blinked away the water, smiling before enveloping you in another kiss—this time, it was less lustful and more desperate. He breathed into your soul, his hands cradling your face with all the tender care he could muster. His breaths were shaky, and his hold on you was tight, as if there was somehow, someway, you would break away from his embrace.

You bit into his lip, your hands never finding a home as they explored all the planes of his body. He grunted as you reached for his dick, his eyes glimmering at your expression. No words were needed—he gave you one last look before flipping you around, shoving your face into the fall, and sticking his dick into your entrance. His lips were nibbling at your ear, his hot breath delicately stroking your body and soul.

He didn't push past your entrance just yet—no, but his fingers did. They glided over your clit from the back, your breasts aching from being pressed against the tile. He let out a little hum of a moan into your ear as his fingers entered you, two of them. You whimpered in delight, the movements turning you on more and more. You felt yourself getting wetter and wetter, his fingers curling up inside you, his shallow breaths echoing in your mind. 

You couldn't take it anymore—you needed him inside you, now.

“I need you in me,” you moaned against the tile, tilting your head slightly to see his expression. “Now, please. God, please.”

He smirked, moving you now to the far wall, your back still to him. You nearly slammed your head into the wall as he moved you.

“As you wish,” he breathed, his voice dripping with lust, with love, with unknown feelings. With a quick movement, he shoved his dick inside you, causing you to arch your back from the fill. You cried out, holding onto the wall as he gripped your hips, moving rhythmically and melodicly. You furrowed your brows in pleasure, muttering his name. “Oh, San,” you moaned, causing him to move even faster.

The water crashed onto you, making you feel even higher than ever were before. The heat of it was scolding now, but nothing beat how hot San made you feel—he was indeed a genius in the manner of lovemaking, a god, at that. You knew why, everyone knew why, but you didn't care at the moment. The only thing you cared about was his body on yours, in yours, all around you.

You were reaching your high, your vision hazy. You let out a cry, a huff, something to show that you were enjoying him, and he made a sound, too.

As you reached your climax, you arched your back even more, shoving your face against the wall, your forehead thumping against it with every thrust of his. You came on his dick then, your body fighting the urge to shake from the feeling he supplied you. 

He felt it—you knew it, as he quickened his pace, his breaths becoming more uneven as the time went on, your body tightening around him. He hissed sharply, thrusting with grace until he emptied himself into you, coating you, becoming one within you.

He collapsed into you, against the wall, his dick slipping out from you. He huffed, catching his breath as the bathroom filled with steam and sweat. You turned around in his embrace, his head falling onto your shoulder with a thud.

And then he started to laugh.

A laugh so beautiful, so….raw. You began to laugh with him, smiling as you grabbed his cheeks to lift up his head—so he could see you. 

His eyes were red, but they sparkled with so much emotion that you wondered how he was feeling. 

“So,” you smiled, watching the water from the showerhead drip over his black hair. “Happy New Year, I guess?”

He smiled—a smile that made you want to stop everything.

And then his eyes widened. “What time is it?”

You frowned. “I don't know, my phone is downstairs,” you whispered, locking eyes with him.

He paused for a moment, not knowing what to do, or at least that’s what you believed until he leaned forward and brushed his lips to yours ever so gently.

A kiss for a lover. A kiss more meaningful than sex could offer.

He pulled away, but only slightly, as his forehead rested against yours. “Happy New Year,” he kissed you again. “Just in case it is midnight. You haven't been my New Year’s kiss since years ago, you know.”

You didn't know what to say—you weren't sure where he was going with this, as you had never brought up your kiss with him before. He spoke cautiously, yet without caution at all.

“I….well,” you swallowed hard, looking up at him shyly. “You can be my….new years kiss every year, if you’d like.”

He smiled—grinned like a wild animal at your words.

“Well, if you don't mind, I’d like to kiss you more than once a year.” he grabbed you by the waist swiftly, smirking,

You giggled like you were experiencing this for the first time. In all honesty, you may be. No one has ever made you feel this way. You never wanted anything more.

With a flirty smile, you leaned forward into his embrace, the shower hissing in the background of your confessions. 

“I would love that.” you nodded, looking up into his eyes. 

He looked like a dream, his hair wet, his eyes bright. You couldn't wait to share more New Year's kisses with him, more showers, more cookies. You wanted everything and more—even if you didn't exactly know it quite just yet.

He was your everything—Your heart never belonged to you—no, it always belonged to him. And you will never forget it.

#ateez #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez san #brothers best friend #holiday #snowed in #choi san smut #new year au #forced proximity

[jlushie]

Ahgg I'm sorry I don't want to spam your inbox but I just love the way you write about all the bachelors and bachelorettes!

It's always so adorable and heartwarming ❤️

Thank you for writing such wonderful stuff!

Oh and I have to say I love Sebastian and I'd love to see farmer trying to teach Sebastian how to take care of the farm and overall enjoy the outside more!

Oh, you aren't spamming my inbox at all! I'm glad you like my writing!

I'll be more than happy to write for our favorite emo frog boy lolol

Also love the jojo pfp

Sebastian with a Farmer who Tries to Get Him Out of His Shell <333

Okay, Sebastian is obviously not really an outdoorsy type of person... initially. The most enjoyment he'd get from going outside was when it was raining or snowing, and he just couldn't see anything great about the warmer seasons.

He also disliked doing hard labor for work, so farming and doing any outside work would be out of the question in the beginning.

However, you seemed to enjoy going outside so... He might as well try.

Before you two were officially together, he'd get out of his room just to see you. Sure, the weather didn't necessarily keep him in comfort on hot days, but he'd do anything to see you smile the way you do at him.

"Oh uh... Hey farmer. It's cool to see you... No... No, I'm good. It's just... a bit hot."

The same somewhat goes for farming work. He initially didn't even think about doing it before he saw how tired you were from it. He just wanted to see you get some rest, so he looked up farming tips before going to your house in the morning and helping you secretly with whatever work you needed.

He was a bit too shy to admit it was actually him, so you'd probably live in mystery for a while over the bizarre nature of your crops being watered.

Though, you may be able to piece it together when you tell him about it. He just smiles widely with how happy you seem with less work.

After you two get together, he'll try even harder to go outside with you, even if that means he's gotta take his hoodie off.

If it pleases you, then he'll farm with you in the mornings. He'll try whatever work you give him, but still may need guidance.

He'll try his best to listen to your farming lessons, but he's still fairly new to it. As long as your patient and understanding with him he won't get frustrated or anything.

He'd be great with more mechanical aspects of your farm, along with building fences and such too! He works on his motorcycle quite frequently and had an intelligent sister like Maru and a carpenter like his mom. While he isn't close to his family, he might have gotten a few skills from watching what they were doing.

Even if he does try really hard to go outside with you, he'd probably still prefer working inside. He'd most likely take a few breaks between going outside and farming.

Random, but I feel as if he's hum or something when he farms with you. He'll get a lil embarrassed if you catch him, but it also may end up with you two humming and/or singing together.

Overall, he tries pretty hard just to make you comfortable and happy! While it still might not be his favorite thing, he still finds some aspects to enjoy!

#stardew valley #stardew valley x reader #sebastian sdv #stardew valley sebastian #stardew valley sebastian x reader #x reader #stardew valley bachelors #stardew valley headcanons #stardew valley marriage #x you fluff #not proofread

[stardew-otter]

Stardew Valley Incorrect Quotes: Part 2

•─────✧─────•

Farmer: The ocean is a soup.

Willy, who was just trying to fish: Could you elaborate?

Farmer: Ok, what do you think makes soup?

Willy: I'd say water, salt and some other seasonings, vegetables or vegetation of some sort, and meat.

Farmer: Now, what's in the ocean?

*a few hours later*

Elliott walking along the docs: Hello Willy, how are you-

Willy, having an existential crisis: The ocean is a soup.

─────────────────────

Rasmodius: Welcome to my basement, where magic transcends trival things, such as gender.

─────────────────────

Farmer after passing out in Skull Cavern and losing their weapon again: I'm going to go home and touch my spouses tits so I won't be mad.

─────────────────────

George: We need a new coffee machine, this one isn't working well.

Alex: It's only 7 years old, I have sheets that are older than that???

George: This damn coffee machine gets more action than you do and we all know it Alex.

─────────────────────

Emily: Here is a quick and easy way to dye your hair!

Step 1: Aquire hair dye

Step 2: Strip yourself of all personal belongings

Step 3: Put on gloves

Step 4: Make blood sacrifice

Step 5: ???

Step 6: Your hair is now dyed, congratulations!

─────────────────────

*phone call*

Demetrius: Maru where are you?

Maru: I'm at the clinic, why?

Demetrius, panicked: Wait, why are you at the clinic? Are you hurt? Sick? Did-

Maru: Dad, I work at the clinic...

Demetrius: Oh... carry on.

─────────────────────

Harvey, on the floor with a cup of coffee: Wow, the farmer really does love me... who knew love could blossom in such a place...

Maru standing over Harvey panicked: Harvey you're having a caffeine overdose-!

─────────────────────

Penny: I think the farmer might like me...

Pam, who is knee-deep in diamonds: YA THINK???

─────────────────────

Sam: Dude, a lollipop is just you swallowing your own spit in different flavors...

Sebastian: What the hell.

Abigail: Shit he's right-

•─────✧─────•

Huzzah, another part done ^^

#stardew valley #sdv harvey #sdv emily #sdv sam #sdv abigail #sdv sebastian #sdv alex #sdv elliott #sdv george #sdv willy #sdv wizard #sdv rasmodius #sdv penny #sdv pam #sdv maru #sdv demetrius #sdv farmer #stardew valley incorrect quotes #incorrect stardew valley quotes

[nonclassyparty]

Starring Role - ACT XI (C.S; S.MG)

title; you know i’d rather walk alone than play a supporting role, if i can’t get the starring role

summary:

We’ve all read about the infamous player who falls in love with the good girl that manages to make him change his ways…but what happens to the other girl? The pretty, popular one that has warmed his bed before the good girl came along and took him away.

Well, no one cares about her. After all, she’s just a side character.

It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.

pairing: choi san x reader, song mingi x reader

warnings: angst! errrr idk what else, cursing??? drinking???

wc: almost 22k

taglist:  @joonsthethicc @marievllr-abg @cookiechristie @purenjuniverse  @hwamourr @littleparkseonghwa @hwasong @hwadump @hongshines @kitty4hwa @knisterlicht @flamingi @revehosh @gayliljoong @naiify     @btshook @atzcoke  @circusjanreblogs @baguette-atiny @kpopnightingale  @raineadlr @ilikepalta @m4rsluv  @smimingi @bubbleteakittyy  @mingkiyoo @theactresstarringinurbadreams  @mangishii @cryingaboutskz @pr1ncessm1ng1   @layzfeelit   @khjssss @rdiamond2727 @adajoemaya  @outrologist @smuchsmut @flaminghotcheetoos @dogsongy @seesaw-jk  @seojonneh @hyukssunflower @haatohwa @wonwowzers @downbadreading @moonchele @leeknowsnothing  @noone356097 @raspberryhong  @xciiiomwliah  @belle643 @doom-fics  @cutesince2000 @ad0rechuu @miriamxsworld @plants-w0rld  @lilactangerine @maru-matt @ateezourstars​

buy me a coffee!

act x / masterlist /

a/n: well....here it is guys, this is the last chapter i never thought we’d make it here but look at us now..who would’ve thought!!!! but on a serious note, i want to thank everyone who stuck by my side while writing this and giving amazing feedback and contributing to the fun discussions we’ve been having, i had a blast! <3 i started this story a little less than a year ago and i wanted to write it for the longest time, so thank you truly and from the bottom of my heart for joining me on this ride!

“To by held above the earth and be brushed by the wind," she said, "it's like your heart has been kissed by beauty.” ― Wendelin Van Draanen, Flipped

It's hard not to stare.

The conversation that goes around the table during the appetizers is vapid, the two businessmen are taking subtle jabs at each other's expenses, their bored wives are not so subtly ogling the two waiters that are assigned to your table and the younger men sitting at your table (him included). Shallow conversations served with the only purpose of showing off who has more of what and so on and so on.

Two years ago, this was your territory. The exaggerated delight when speaking about vacations you've been to, talking up your family like you don't all hate each other one way or another and pretending you actually enjoy the presence of your company. Now, you feel awfully out of place.

The times when you were at the top of the food chain are long gone because at this table right here; you are the lowest rank. The weakest player. The artist invited for their amusement because they don't take you seriously, not really. The jester.

You learn pretty quickly into the night that you were never brought here from your boss' good grace to help you sell your art, it's for her to be able to show off the new addition to her company even if it is temporary (after this, you know it will be). Look at this new shiny, pretty little thing I have everyone. Isn't she just the cutest?

That's why it's hard not to stare.

Choi San sits opposite of you, just a couple of seats down and looks like he's completely in his element and it's mindboggling because you don't think you've ever seen him like this.

You always found him charming, good looks paired with pretty words and a smooth voice but here...it's a completely different game. The other two younger guys whose names you didn't bother to remember, seem to wait for his every word with a bated breath, the men laugh at his jokes and the women swoon at the charming grin. He is charismatic and everybody seems to be under his spell. Even you find yourself pressing your lips together to stop from smiling at an occasional quip that comes from him.

It's infuriating.

You're the outsider despite growing up in these people's circles and running around fancy restaurants since you were a toddler but Choi San...well, he fit right in.

You don't miss the way he smiles that godforsaken smile at the wife of one of the younger businessmen here. She's gorgeous and on the younger side which isn't surprising since her husband seems barely forty. She seems to be in her mid-30s though and tries to hide her flustered smile by taking a sip of the red wine in front of her.

A breathless chuckle escapes you as your eyes fall from the obvious (and fucking shameless) flirting done by both of them all while her husband is sitting right next to her but is too busy to notice because he's currently in a dick measuring contest with the others.

All that time that San spent making jabs at your wealth and the rich people you were surrounded with, only for him to land in the middle of that same table that he judged you for not even two years later.

A fucking comedy is what this is.

"I need some fresh air." You mumble to particularly no-one but one of the younger guys that seem to have come here with San and has also been laying it on pretty thick to you the entire night, is the only one to notice. When he offers to go with you, you're quick to decline.

The terrace of the restaurant is gorgeous and you feel yourself sigh once you're presented with the wide view of the city in front of you and the cool evening air enveloping you. You figure you still have some time before the main course and it's almost tempting to just spend it all here.

Your heart can't stop rattling in your chest despite it being almost an hour and a half since the short introduction between you and San and you grip the banister tightly with your hands as you try to keep your thoughts in check.

It's not even a big deal that he's here. The introduction was the only exchange between the two of you and so far, the night has been going well. It will be a bust business wise but at least you will get a free fancy meal out of it.

And San...he was acting normal. Whatever the new normal was for him. So yeah, it's not even a big deal that he's here.

"So we have to introduce ourselves to each other now?" A voice quietly says and you freeze at the sound of footsteps until he's standing by your side and his elbow is brushing yours. "Is that what we are now, Y/N? Strangers?"

He's here. And it's a big fucking deal.

You're gripping the banister so tightly that your knuckles turn white but with the utmost grace, you utter; "I don't see what else we could be."

"That's..." He starts before giving you a nod, "Fair."

He pulls something from the pocket of his slacks and you don't give into the curiosity to check what it is until he leans over to you.

An opened pack of cigarettes is presented to you and you glance at it for a second in contemplation before sighing and reluctantly pulling one out before placing it between your lips. After the night you've had, might as well.

He's quick to offer you a light and you take a drag in and exhale as you turn to mirror his position so your back is leaning on the banister and you're observing the people inside the restaurant rather the view.

San takes a cigarette out for himself, lighting it up in similar fashion as he did for you and takes a drag, exhaling with a soft sigh.

"How have you been?"

You scoff out a short, barely there laugh, "What do you want?"

San's head turns to observe you and you will yourself to just keep staring forward.

"Nothing." He responds quietly and you roll your eyes. "I don't want anything. I'm just...just trying to make conversation."

A silence engulfs you as you both take a couple of drags from the cigarettes and watch it get turned into ashes. You watch your figures in the glass in front of you and can notice him glancing at you one too many times.

"Listen, I'm-"

"I don't want your sorry's." You're quick to interrupt him but he's quick to reply back.

"I wasn't gonna say I'm sorry." Your head whips to him for the first time, brows furrowed in insult. He sighs, eyes falling shut for a moment before the flutter open again and meet yours, "Well, okay, you got me there. There is something I was going to say I'm sorry for."

Your frown doesn't move but you don't say anything otherwise so he takes it as a chance to continue. "You told me something in confidence and I-..."

"San." You warn him and uttering his name out loud causes a shiver to run up your spine.

"No. And I couldn't keep my mouth shut because I'm an idiot that let my frustrations get the best of me. And I'm sorry, Y/N, it was a shitty thing to do and you didn't deserve that." He takes a deep breath, "I never promised you much, we both knew what it was between us from the start but I did promise to keep your secrets safe and I failed at that. I know an apology might not mean shit now and I'm not saying it because I expect forgiveness but because you deserve an apology. I'm really sorry."

You stare up at him, chest heaving up and down as you watch him. He's right, you're not going to forgive him...so what now? What do you do and what do you say?

"Kind of weird to apologize here of all places." You comment stoically.

"Don't know when I'll ever see you again." San says back in almost a whisper.

Almost angrily, at yourself and at him, you take another drag from the cigarette before your eyes fall back on your table inside the restaurant. The woman San was subtly flirting with is laughing with her husband now.

You respond back in the only way you know how when it comes to talking to San. Women.

"You've moved on from unsuspecting college girls to older women now?" You ask, flicking your cigarette and taking another drag.

At the look of confusion he gives you, you nudge your head to the direction of the table you both have shared for the majority of the night. He follows your gaze and the realization sets in.

"Oh," He chuckles, one dimple showing as he glances at you. "She's cute."

"She's also married." You grit out quietly, quickly looking around to make sure no-one else hears.

San's brows furrow and his lips are pressed to stop himself from smiling as he leans over to you as if to let you in on a little secret, "Not happily married."

You scoff, rolling your eyes dramatically as you look away from him. He chuckles again.

"It's them who make the first move, never me." San clarifies, smile dimming, "I may be a lot of things but not a homewrecker."

"That is still being a homewrecker, San."

"That home has been wrecked a long time ago, princess."

You shake your head, keeping your judgement to yourself but the curiosity is still there.

What has Choi San been up to these past two years? While you were in Paris shutting yourself off from anyone and everything to focus on your art, what was he doing?

"Them who make the first move?" You repeat in disbelief, turning to him again and you place your done cigarette in the ashtray before crossing your arms and now the judgement is very obvious, "Don't tell me you're one of those guys who's chasing after older women now."

San presses his lips together.

"Seriously? Did you completely skip the co-worker phase?"

His brow quirks up in thought, "Hm, funnily enough I don't think I've ever slept with a co-worker." You shake your head at him again and are about to open your mouth to scold him but he continues deep in thought, "Does a boss' wife count as a co-worker?"

Your jaw drops at the genuine question and you have to turn your head to the side just so he won't notice the fact that you're holding back laughter, still a snort escapes you. "Jesus."

At that, San lets out a short, husky laugh as well, seemingly unbothered as he takes another drag from his cigarette.

Same old San.

There is still so much left unsaid between the two of you. So much pain and anger, pure rage, so much sadness that is kept bottled away and so many memories repressed but in that moment...well, you are fucking nosy! Sue you!

"You slept with your boss' wife?!" You whisper yell at him with wide eyes, horrified yet equally amused and if that makes you a horrible person then so be it.

"She-" He tries to explain but you're already shaking your head in judgement, "No, hey, listen listen. She came onto me-"

"And you just couldn't resist, could you?"

His brows furrow in defense, "Hey, my boss is a dick."

You both fall into a silence after that, a summer breeze coasting over and you watch the guy who's been flirting with you the entire night stand up and step away from the table.

"Hey, you know that guy?" You ask San, nodding towards the tall figure walking away.

"Jaehyun?" He responds back and at your nod, "We work together. Why?"

"Can you tell him to lay off? He keeps mentioning drinks at some bar after this and I'm not interested."

San frowns, jaw clenching, "He made you uncomfortable?"

You snort, "Please, he's harmless but I'm just not interested."

"Okay, I'll let him know." He nods before turning around, hands finally free of the cigarette and placed on the banister. He glances at you again after a moment of silence. "So...are you seeing...anyone?"

You tense a little at that. "Yeah."

His gaze is glued to the side of your face.

"Good." San nods, "That's good."

You shrug, not really wanting to talk about it. Not because it's San but because...you just don't want to think about your relationship with Mingi right now despite it being at the forefront of your mind at all times.

Noticing the waiters start walking to your tables with trays of food, you straighten out as well. "Looks like the food is here."

San looks over his shoulder with raised eyebrows and reluctantly straightens out his posture, as if he's not ready to go back inside. Hm. It's seems like San wasn't exactly in his element back there, just a good actor.

You're the first to move towards the glass door but he's quick to stop you.

"Uh," A hand wraps around your elbow and you turn to him in confusion, freeing yourself from his gentle hold. San clears his throat before handing you a small white card. "Here. Have it...for, I don't know...Just in case."

You stare at the business card, a fancy name of a firm that you'd probably know if you were in his field of work, printed at the top with San's contact info below.

With a nod, you simply take the card and tuck it into your handbag.

San motions for you to go first, holding the door open for you and you walk pass him without a word.

The moment you both shared outside, seemingly broken the moment you both join the same table again.

Dinner lasts close to another two hours and the moment one of the couples stands up to leave, bidding their goodbyes - you are quick to follow after them, hurriedly wishing everyone a good night while avoiding San's eyes and leaving the hall.

You don't even mind the five minutes you spend outside waiting for a cab.

Not telling anyone that you've seen San doesn't feel like a big deal this time. You're not on speaking terms with Wooyoung so he doesn't have the right to expect shit from you and Mingi...well, that's a whole other story.

You don't see Mingi through the week as much because you're busy with work that's piling on since your job at the book publishing company is soon coming to an end as your sketches start getting finalized and Mingi is sent out to some conference to Busan for three days.

On Thursday, when he texts you in the morning that he is back -  you buy some take-out and walk to his place after work.

And yeah, you might kiss a little first. Okay, a lot.

But you haven't seen him in nearly a week and it's hard not to straddle him on his couch and lick into his mouth when he's so pliant and needy underneath you. Even if something tells you that the relationship with Mingi and you isn't exactly right, you still like him.

It's almost easy to forget it all when he kisses you, big warm hands trailing under your shirt and brushing across your lower back as you pull him closer by the back of his neck.

After a make-out session that lasts definitely longer that it almost turns into something else, you break apart and through giggles and hushed conversation, move over to the kitchen to prepare the food.

Mingi is such a guy sometimes. His glasses are all dusty in the cupboards since he mostly drinks everything out of bottles or mugs, so you take two and quickly foam them up to wash them so they can be used for your early dinner.

"I missed you," He sighs, leaned against the counter as he watches you with his arms crossed. "The conference was so fucking boring."

You laugh lightly, water splashing around, "I thought you'd take it as an opportunity to catch a break from me. I've been at your place more than I was at my own before you left."

Mingi shakes his head with a hum.

He walks over to the sink and wraps his arms around you. "If it didn't sound insane, I would tell you to move in."

Carefully setting the glasses in the dish strainer beside the sink, you tilt your head enough to kiss his jaw. "Is that something you want? Or is that something your dick suggested loudly enough for your ears to hear?"

He hums, slightly amused and turns his head so he can bite your chin. "Are you accusing me of thinking with my dick, pretty girl?" He murmurs playfully.

"Yes I am." You hum pleasantly at the nip and lean into his arms "Am I wrong?"

"Only partially." He kisses up your jaw and bites your ear next. "But there's also the fact that I want to spend time with you. All that I can. Two years to make up for."

He leans his forehead against your temple, swaying both of your bodies lightly to the tune coming from the radio set up in his kitchen and you want to smile, want to enjoy it but something isn't letting you.

Two years to make up for.

It's the first time he mentioned anything regarding that time, even if he wasn't doing so directly right now either.

Suddenly, standing in his arms feels suffocating. Any other day, you would want nothing more than to be like this with him but now, it's like there is a bag of rocks sitting in your chest and constricting your airways every time he gets too close.

You shuffle away, pretending like you're focusing on preparing the take-out you both bought and Mingi doesn't seem to notice your awkwardness as he simply starts pulling out plates and utensils from his cupboards.

Now might not be the best time but...you should tell him about San, shouldn't you? You've been weighing out the pros and cons all weekend, the white business card feeling like a thorn stuck in your hand every time you catch a glimpse of it laying on your drawing desk.

If you add another thing to the list of things you haven't spoken to Mingi about, it would only make matters worse.

You should tell him. He deserves to know and it's not like you have anything to hide.

"Hey, you remember that dinner party I had on Friday?" You ask, trying your best to seem nonchalant about it.

"Oh, yeah!" Mingi exclaims, "How did that go? You make any money?" He asks jokingly as he moves past you to get the drinks from the fridge.

"No, no, it kind of sucked actually." You reply with a chuckle and quickly jump in to explain once you notice him turn around to look at you with a frown. "They weren't really there for my art, I was just there to be my boss' accessory I guess but it's whatever."

"Wait, wha-"

You sigh, smiling at him. "It's not a big deal. I mean, selling a piece or two would've been nice but at least I got free food out of it," You turn your back to him to wash your hands, "but that's not why I brought it up."

"....okay." Mingi is properly confused now, leaning on the counter.

You take a deep breath.

"San was there."

It's almost funny how quickly the entire mood of the apartment changes.

Mingi stares at the counter with a stoic expression on his face as he drags his fingers slowly over the clean surface.

"San." He repeats with pursued lips and you swallow.

"Yeah." You continue lightly, trying to uplift the mood that you successfully brought down, "He-...well, we talked and he gave me his business card and-"

"You took his business card?" Mingi questions in faint disbelief and you stare at him, stopped mid sentence and with your mouth parted.

"Well, I didn't really think much about it-"

"Of course." He chuckles, tongue peeking out to lick the corner of his lip before he turns to you with crossed arms, leaning against the counter again. He has that almost sarcastic smile that reminds you of how he treated you when you first met him. "So what, are you going to be attending more dinner parties with him or will you just straight up start seeing him again? Like good old times, huh."

He's being passive aggressive in a way that only Song Mingi knows how to be. Because his thing is to never outright be an asshole. He instead tiptoes around it because he's too smart and too fucking noble but it doesn't change the end goal, which is to, without a doubt, be a condescending asshole no matter how much he's trying to lessen the blow.

"It's just a business card, Mingi." You explain quietly and he chuckles humorlessly with a shake of his head.

"It's never 'just' anything with you and San, Y/N." He easily says back and your mouth turns downwards as your brows furrow in slight hurt.

"If you're saying you think I slept with him or something, then I'm here to tell you right now that's not-"

"No, of course I don't think that." Mingi quickly defends before pausing with a quick glance thrown your way, "But usually when something like this happens, it's not far from it."

You take a step back at that, the linoleum cold under your bare feet. "Excuse me?"

He sighs, running a hand through his dark hair as you silently stare at him with furrowed eyebrows.

You decide to speak because he didn't look like he was planning to.

"We just talked a little bit, y'know...he apologized and that was it. I took the card because...well, I already told you; I don't know. I just took it because he was offering it." You quietly explain trying to remain calm despite the storm brewing in your chest. "I didn't plan on using it or anything."

Mingi chews on his lower lip while staring at you before chuckling humorlessly.

"I don't believe you." He whispers with another head shake and you face falls in hurt, "I mean, is it that easy to forgive him? After everything he's done? It's that easy for him?"

And that's where your nerves start getting grated.

Certain words are at the tip of your tongue but you refrain yourself from using them, wanting to see how far will he go. Instead;

"Forgive him? Who said anything about forgiving him?" Your voice slightly raises, "I just said I don't plan on using his number. I don't plan on calling him, Mingi."

Something in your brain tells you that it's wrong to have to explain yourself to him like this.

"And I just told you that I don't believe you and you know why I don't believe you?" Mingi retaliates with an equally loud voice, "Because two years you went back to him! Even after seeing how he threw you away for Boyoung, the moment they broke up and he appeared with his tail between his legs, you allowed him back in. So I'm fucking sorry for assuming that it would be any different this time, seeing as you're accepting to talk to him. I don't plan on being anyone's second choice I'll tell you that, straight up, because I, as opposed to some people, have some respect for myself."

You freeze up at that.

San fucks you. He doesn't give a shit about you otherwise and he knows you have very little self-respect for yourself to ever call him out on it.

His voice is laced with sarcasm. Or maybe it's not even sarcasm but it's something aching to mocking and it makes you feel bad. It hurts you and it makes you equally angry.

Maybe you've had it wrong all this time. Maybe you underestimated yourself expeditiously and maybe only Wooyoung has some sort of safety net when it comes to your temper. Maybe you could always hurt Mingi.

Because he was really getting on your last fucking nerve.

You must stay silent for far too long because Mingi seems rigid as well, almost sensing that he pushed too far. Which he did.

His eyes stray away from your face as he furiously blinks around, rolling his tongue over his teeth.

You feel like you're back in the same spot you were in two years ago, only this time the hinges on your face aren't close to breaking. The rusty mechanisms and dirty, bent out of shape nails that lay beneath the surface stay hidden by the tightly screwed shut door. No, it won't be like two years ago.

Because maybe it's time to show Song Mingi just who Park Y/N really is.

"I don't like the way you speak to me when you're angry." You start off calmly, too calmly because Mingi seems perturbed at your tone and then even more so at your words.

He blinks, looking around with furrowed brows before his eyes settle on you, "What?"

You quirk an eyebrow at him. "I don't like how you treat me like I'm some dumb bitch who doesn't know left from right when you get all fired up. There. Is that better?"

"I don't-..." He starts, still blinking at you confusedly before his expression turns colder, "Don't turn this around on me, Y/N."

You let out a laugh which seems to annoy Mingi. Good. "Oh, I think I will, Mingi. I think I'll turn this around on you."

He goes silent at that, staring at you in slight hurt which in your opinion shouldn't even be there. What is he supposed to get hurt over?

"You wanna know what I think?" You ask, placing your hands on your hips as you stare him down, "I think you're so caught up in all this self-righteous bullshit that you don't even realize what kind of a hypocritical asshole you really are."

"What-"

"What? Huh?" You mimic childishly but you don't give a fuck. "All this talk about what San did two years ago, what I did two years ago but what about what you did two years ago? Huh? Wanna preach about that a little?"

It's almost comical how silent the room is.

"Come on. You had so much to say not even a minute ago, so talk." You glare at Mingi's crestfallen face and you would normally feel bad for bringing any of this up. But you're too far gone and you can't find it in yourself to care anymore. "Do you want me to remind you? Want me to remind you how you treated me like an idiot that day? How you choose her over me? Want me to remind you how you said I was trying to trap you into a relationship with me?"

Just saying it makes your eyes burn from the unshed tears that you suck in. You're too pretty to cry, Y/N.

"Y/N-" Mingi starts off calmly, definitely feeling like the argument is going in a completely uncharted territory that he doesn't look like he'll be able to handle.

Thankfully, you're an expert at verbal fights.

"You have a lot of balls to stand there in front of me and judge me for...what? Talking to San? Taking his number? Should that mean that I'm also an idiot that has no respect for myself for standing in this apartment with you at this very moment?" You ask loudly despite the tremble in your voice. "Because let me remind you Mingi, you didn't even apologize. You didn't even bring up what happened two years ago, instead you just went about it as if it never happened. Do you think you're better than San or something?"

His mouth opens and closes a couple of times as he blinks at you bewilderment before he recollects himself.

"First of all, I never called you an idiot." Mingi says quietly before his tone hardens, "And second of all, I am nothing like San."

"No, obviously not." You agree immediately, "But to think that you didn't hurt me would be ridiculous, don't you think? In fact, you hurt me more because you actually made me think that I stood a chance!"

"I never said that I didn't hurt you-"

"So what? You just didn't think I deserved an apology? Or to have at least addressed that between us?"

"Of course-" Mingi groans, rubbing his eyes before loudly exclaiming; "You're turning everything I say into something it's not!"

"Yeah, doesn't feel good does it? To be talked to like an idiot." You throw back meanly before looking away with an eye roll.

"Y/N." He says with a sigh, definitely fed up with the attitude which is too bad because he just scratched the surface.

There is a moment of silence in which you pace along the space of his kitchen as he just stands near the counter staring at you.

"Well, fucking talk!" You exclaim loudly, "Do I have to pull the words out of you with a pair of claw scissors, Jesus Christ. You had so much-"

"I was ashamed!" Mingi exclaims equally loud and you falter a bit with your pacing. He sighs, eyes falling shut as he runs a hand down his face before he's back to staring at you. "Of course, I think you deserve an apology. Don't you think I haven't felt guilty at the way I decided to approach this?"

He's speaking quietly now and you protectively cross your arms over your chest as you stop in one place, to carefully listen.

"I was ashamed. I've never spoken to anyone like that the way I spoke to you that day and...well, it was to you of all people." The words fall from his lips as his cheeks flush, "I've contemplated countless of times, back then, to call you and ask to meet up so we can...so I can talk to you and apologize but I never did and I fucked up, okay? I should've. And then I fucked up again when I just tried to brush it all off when we saw each other again this summer but you seemed like you were in a genuinely good place and...I didn't want to fucking bring it up. I was scared that would just push you away further."

Your eyes fall to the floor as you let his words, delivered in a honey-like voice, sink through your skin.

"I was an asshole that day and I was an asshole now and I am sorry for everything I said, I didn't mean it. Of course I'd go on a date with you, who in their right mind wouldn't want to go on a date with you?" Mingi chuckles weakly and when you look up, only then you notice his teary eyes. "But Y/N, you have to try and understand that I had no idea where we stood back then."

When your brows furrow, he is quick to explain.

"I know we were hooking up and spending a lot of time together and you asked me out on a date but in my head that was all just to get over San and with Boyoung...there were too many things at stake and I couldn't rely on a chance where there was a possibility I would get thrown away in exchange for him." He trails off and you nod.

"So you decided to throw me away instead."

Mingi observes you in silence, sad eyes staring into your teary ones but he doesn't say anything to correct you.

"Damn." You let out a shaky breath, "That...sucks."

The permanent feeling of being something so easily disposable, yeah, it fucking sucks.

"But Y/N, I mean, surely you understand where I'm coming from now, right? After everything with Wooyoung?" Your blood runs cold at his quiet admission, "I mean, being in Boyoung's place-"

"Don't." You whisper harshly, the sole comparison to Boyoung feeling like a dozen thorns stuck in your palm.

"But-"

"Don't mention Wooyoung." You say curtly and Mingi nods after a beat of contemplation.

"Alright, I-I'm sorry but...I'm trying to make it better. I want to be with you. I wanted to be with you then and I especially want to be with you now." He whispers and the first tears slide down your cheeks.

You stare at him with your mind jumbled and emotions at an all time high. Memories from two years ago resurfacing from good ones to bad ones and you find yourself at a crossroad, not knowing where to go.

"I don't think we should be together."

Mingi's face falls, "What?"

"Did you ever watch that movie 'Flipped'?" You whisper and Mingi stares at you flabbergasted, watery eyes and red cheeks.

"Y/N-...what? Flipped?"

"If you haven't, you should watch it, it's a good movie. I read the book too so I know many of the quotes from the top of my head." You talk, ignoring his questioning panicked stare because the easiest way to hold yourself together right now is to go on a tangent about a fucking movie you've been watching since you were a teenager. "I just remembered one of the quotes from it...It goes something like how sometimes a little discomfort in the beginning can save a whole lot of pain down the road."

Mingi is staring at you like you've grown three extra heads. Like you've completely lost your mind.

You laugh faintly, tears still falling. "We're both at fault now. We should have talked about all of this when we saw each other again, no matter how ashamed or hurt we were. We should've talked, cleared everything up, got closure and then went our separate ways...because look where we are now." You shrug motioning to the distance between the two of you, both seemingly heartbroken. "Ended up in the same place, only this will hurt about a hundred times worse."

"Wh-what will hurt, Y/N? What are you saying?" The desperation seeps into Mingi's voice as he takes a step closer to you, almost to reach out but he refrains himself from doing so.

"I'm saying that...right now, all of this...us...it feels wrong."

All this time, while convincing yourself to push it under the rug, you thought that talking about it would be the thing that fixes everything between Mingi and you. But weirdly enough, you feel only slightly better just because there is no longer a rock sitting in the middle of your chest but not in any way enough to say that all is well.

If anything, you feel like things are only worse.

"Wrong?" Mingi asks weakly, watching as you move to take your bag and you bite your trembling lip.

"Wrong." You confirm, trying to act tough despite knowing that you will cry a river once you're in the safety of your home. "And now I'm going to go."

"Go? You can't go!" Mingi exclaims in panic, staring at you with wide eyes and you sniffle a little, "Y/N, d-don't go! Please, don't go, let's just...let's sit down, yeah?"

You glance at him and his face fills with the saddest expression of hope. "Let's just sit down and talk, please. We...we were both upset so let's just-"

"This isn't about how the fight started and it most definitely isn't about San." You say firmly, making sure he knows that. "t's just now that we talked, I'm starting to see how out of place everything between us is."

"No, it's-" You cut him off and he turns his back to you in a hurry. Your heart aches when you see him run a hand under his eyes again.

"Mingi, I like you. So much. I could see myself loving you one day." Your voice cracks when he turns to face you again, "But I don't think I want to fall in love with someone who had to make a choice and that choice didn't include me. Like, really....you didn't even try."

Mingi's crestfallen face is the last thing you see before you turn around and head for the front door, quietly exiting as the guilt, the sadness, the hurt all settle in deep in your gut.

You don't remember the bus ride home. You think someone sat next to you because of rush hour but you're not sure.

You walk up the steps to your apartment and when you close the door shut behind yourself, is when you let the tears flow.

Wooyoung is sitting in the dinning area again, typing away on his laptop with a spreadsheet in front of him when you walk past him without a word.

"Y/N?" He calls after you but you don't grace him with a response, only slam the door to your bedroom shut.

Through your sniffles, you know the best thing to do right now is definitely not go to bed. You will only cry harder, possibly regret the decision, possibly go into a spiral of convincing yourself that you will never be truly loved. You can't do that.

So you slowly start unpacking your work bag, taking out the sketches and notepad and placing them carefully on your desk with your pencils following right after.

You can hear footsteps pacing in front of your door and it's only another reason for the heartache.

It's Wooyoung, probably wanting to come in and see what's wrong, but he doesn't know if he's allowed so now he's pacing in front of your room. You know him so well that you can imagine it and it causes a small watery smile to grow before it's dissolved by the tears again.

Your life is such a mess.

He disappears from the front of your door and you can hear him talking to someone quietly on the phone. You wonder if it's Yeosang.

"Shit." You mutter through the tears as you clumsily knock over the ceramic cup holding your brushes off the desk and sending it into bits and pieces to the floor. "Fuck." You whimper, bending down and trying to collect it, minimize the mess as Wooyoung keeps talking to someone.

"What?!" Is heard faintly from down the hall but you ignore it, too busy trying not to injure yourself.

You cry, crouching on the floor with a piece of the cup in your hand as you have no strength to clean up the mess you made. You never do.

Soft sobs that you try to muffle wreck through your body that you barely even register the bedroom door flinging open and seconds later, a figure is crouching by your side.

"Give me that." Wooyoung whispers, taking the shard from your hand and throwing it back to the floor before wrapping both of his arms tightly around you.

You try to push at him but it only causes his arms to tighten and he mutters; "You can hate me and be angry at me all you want but I'm not letting you cry alone."

A loud sob escapes you and Wooyoung moves both of you to the bed.

"T-the mess-" You try to free yourself from his hold but he doesn't budge.

"I'll clean it up, don't worry about it." He whispers, hand coming up to slowly pat you on your head and it all causes you to cry harder.

The loneliness, the destruction, the feeling of being disposable and always loving people more than they love you; it all comes crashing down on you today and you cry so much that you eventually tire yourself out and fall asleep against Wooyoung's side.

When you wake up, there is a headache cursing through you and a scratchy throat. You're alone in your room and when you move to the kitchen to see the empty coffee pot, you figure that it's still too early for Wooyoung to be up.

After showering and drying your hair half-heartedly, you pull on a long floral skirt and a white blouse, minimal make-up just to hide the dark eye circles and make it seem like you haven't been crying your eyes out the night before.

You make the coffee instead, leaving half of the pot on the counter after pouring yourself a cup which you drink staring at the surface of the dark wood of the dinning table before grabbing your bag for work and leaving.

There is a million thoughts running through your head and you're like a zombie for the entire day. Jihyo and Sana definitely notice so they keep their distance.

"You're finishing up in a week." Your boss stops by your desk and you nod with a fake smile at her. "I'd hope we get to keep working with you even after this book. Hyejeong really likes your illustrations, she feels like they fit her stories perfectly."

"Thank you." You say quietly with a bow, keeping the fact that you're probably not coming back to yourself. You kind of hold a grudge for the dinner party which immediately taints the image you've had of your boss but still, it's good money so you might change your mind. You're not sure.

You're not sure about anything these days.

Mingi texted so many times. Even called a couple but you've ignored all of it. Leaving your phone on silent and even tempted to turn it off completely.

The messages start all the same...'I'm sorry, can we-' and 'Please allow me to explain-' and well, that's all you can see on your phone without actually opening them.

Since it's Friday, you get to pack up your stuff and leave early. While you're at the market picking out some fresh fruit, you come to an idea...or more of a conclusion. You need a couple of days by yourself. You need to be on your own and figure yourself out.

But how do you do that when you have a roommate? The thought of kicking Wooyoung out isn't even a possibility even though Yeosang would definitely let him stay at his place but that's something you refuse to get into.

So the only thing that remains, is that you leave.

When you walk into your apartment, Wooyoung is already home. You can hear him shuffling around the kitchen as you take of your shoes in the small, narrow hallway and you sigh lowly before entering.

Your plan is just to leave the raspberries and plums you bought into the fridge and disappear into the bedroom but of course, Jung Wooyoung doesn't allow that.

"Hey, can...can we talk?" He asks cautiously, fully destroying your plan of just sneaking away in silence and you stop at the entrance of the hallway leading to your bedrooms and shared bathroom.

It would've happened sooner or later but you're real tired of 'talking' to anyone. "Yeah."

Wooyoung wrings his hands nervously, "I heard what happened with Mingi...and I know now might not be the right time... I want to be there for you. And in order for me to be able to be there for you, I need for you to be able to talk to me. So let me apologize...properly."

You just stare at him in silence and he takes it as his cue to continue.

"I'm sorry for lying to you and hiding stuff from you. I wanted to tell you at the beginning but things just kept escalating and I kept putting it off because I knew you would be upset. I wanted to do it on my own terms, sit you down and calmly explain everything to you and tell you about...Yeosang and when it happened so unexpectedly I lost control of the situation and I said stuff I didn't mean, I handled everything in the worst possible way and I'm sorry. But I'm not...I'm not going to break up with him, I...I really like him, love him I think and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He finishes quietly and you run your tongue over your top row of teeth  as you observe his taller figure, nervously fidgeting a couple of feet away from you.

"Okay." You give him a nod and turn to walk to your room again.

"O-Okay?" Wooyoung calls after you hesitantly, "That...that's it?"

You stop again, turning to him, "What do you want me to say?"

He huffs, "I don't know. Anything. More than this, that's for sure."

You know he feels awful. You know it. Because Wooyoung loves you. You two are more than friends, you're family and you love him too. He's the most important person in your life and maybe that's why you're so closed off now.

The most important person in your life hurt you immensely.

"Do you want me to tell you that I forgive you?" You start off, your voice raspy and low. "Because I don't but I'll say it if it will make you feel better."

He opens and closes his mouth before shaking his head furiously, "No. No, that's not what I want but I just want you to talk to me again. I'm not saying this to make myself feel better."

"We're talking, aren't we?" You shrug with a chuckle, avoiding his eyes as yours start to burn again. You're so tired of crying.

"Y/N, you know what I mean." Wooyoung groans, running a hand through his jet black hair that he's been growing out recently. "I hate that you're avoiding me and that-"

"Yeah, well I'm fucking hurt Wooyoung." You cut him off snippily and he immediately clamps his mouth shut. "I'm sorry that's an inconvenience for you but I'm hurt. You lied to me. You hid stuff from me and then you got angry that I got upset because of that and mind you, I have every fucking right to be upset because you know what happened between Yeosang and I. And then..." You pause swallowing down your tears, "And then you threw the thing with San in my face despite...despite knowing everything. You knew I wasn't like that anymore, you knew I never kept anything from you after that but you still said it because you wanted to hurt me."

Wooyoung presses his lips together, harshly blinking away the tears as you try to keep your own at bay.

"I just..." You pause, biting on your lower lip and focusing your gaze on the blank wall next to you so the tears don't fall and you don't get swept away by your emotions but all of that is always easier said than done. "I never want to hurt you."

You continue through a whisper, "Every time we fought and I'd get so angry that I wanted say so much shitty stuff just so I could come out as the winner but I never did because I never want to hurt you..." Trailing off, your face twisting as you swallow down the tears, "So why was it so easy for you to hurt me?"

Wooyoung seems heartbroken by your last admission, brows furrowed and bottom lip trembling as his jaw locks into place and teary eyes stare into your own. He shakes his head quickly, "It's not-...I wasn't-...."

He doesn't know what to say because really, what can you say to that?

You try to put yourself in Wooyoung's shoes, wondering what you would say and then you realize that you have no idea how to even apologize let alone do enough to be forgiven.

Apart from the time you woke up to a silent Seonghwa by your side in the hospital, you don't remember ever apologizing in your life to anyone. And you definitely had apologies to give.

Girls who wanted to be your friend in middle school so they were an easy target, boys who liked you in high school so they were fun to play with and drag along like puppies, people who tried to stand up against you and only got burnt in return, people who simply looked at you wrong sometimes...

Years of purposefully inflicting pain onto others because you were in pain yourself and having so many apologies to give that you don't even remember all the faces that you've been cruel to when you just wanted to feel more...or sometimes less.

It didn't mean that you never felt guilty over it but usually, it was a temporary type of guilt that would pass as days, hours, sometimes even minutes trickled by and then you would never think of the person you hurt again. You wonder did they think of you more? Did they remember?

You hope not. You hope they haven't thought about you once after they stopped hurting. You don't think you're someone worth remembering.

Do you even deserve to stand here and accept apologies? Did you have the right to ask Mingi for anything? To be chosen? Why?

You're not a good person.

The more you stand in front of a silent Wooyoung who is sniffling in the middle of your apartment, the harder you spiral and it becomes more difficult to be surrounded by anyone.

"I'm leaving for a couple of days." You break the silence looking straight ahead as Wooyoung's head snaps up, face falling.

"L-leaving where?" He asks, wiping away the tears under his eyes.

"Just somewhere."

"Y/N, you can't leave. Where the fuck will you go?" He asks, the previous fragile exterior quickly hardening up the more he sees how serious you are.

" Yes, I can and I'll figure it out." You respond back, already tracking back to your bedroom.

"Don't fucking leave. If you need to be alone then I'll leave for a couple of days but..."

"It's not about just you, Wooyoung." You say loudly, turning over your shoulder to level him with a look. "I just need to leave the apartment-"

"Then go for a fucking walk and then come back!" Wooyoung throws back equally loud and you groan, mussing up your hair as you fully turn to face him.

"It's just for the weekend."

"I don't give a fuck! You're not leaving all of a sudden to go God knows where-!"

"And I'm not asking you for permission!" You yell back. "We're both adults who do whatever the fuck we want, aren't we? So now, I'm going to pack a bag and leave and you're going to let me."

You slam the bedroom door in his face, tears burning once again at the corners of your eyes as you pull out your small duffel bag from where you placed it in your closet and throw in a couple of articles of clothes in it. The hallway is empty when you open the door, so you quickly shuffle into the bathroom and collect your skincare and toothbrush before weaseling into your room again.

You pack your sketchbook as well along with some pencils.

When everything is done, you stand in the middle of your bedroom and rub your eyes with a sigh, definitely smudging up your make-up in the process.

What are you doing, Y/N?

Not allowing yourself to start doubting, you make sure you have everything before you fling the door open and head straight for the front door.

"Don't leave." He weakly calls out and it's only then you notice that he retrieved to his own bedroom and only came out when he heard your door open.

You stop in your tracks at how vulnerable he sounds but you just want to be alone now.

"I'll be back on Sunday, Young-ah." You say equally as quiet, not having the bravado to even look at him before opening the front door and walking out.

There was a small hotel on the edge of the city that you've often admired because it was pale pink.

You've never stayed there for a couple of reasons. One being that you lived with your parents and had no reason to book yourself a room anywhere else in the city. Another being that it wasn't a fancy hotel but something considered below you back then.

It's why you decide to go there now.

They give you a single bed room with a balcony, a humble mini fridge and a dresser on which you place your duffle bag.

It's a three star hotel but it was clean. Clean sheets, clean bathroom, clean towels. And at the moment, you really didn't need anything more.

So you change from the clothes you went to work in and into a pair of white cotton pants and a T-Shirt that you suspect is Wooyoung's but you absentmindedly stuffed it into the bag when you were packing. Clipping your hair back in a low bun, you open the balcony door wide open and sit down behind the small table fixed in the corner, carrying the bottle of whiskey you found in the mini-fridge and a glass.

It was nearing 7 p.m. and the summer heat was slowly simmering down so you lean back, observing the view in front of you of the city and all it's modern beauty.

Your eyes fall to your handbag sitting on the dresser inside the room and you stand up with glass in hand, walking over it and pulling out your wallet.

The white business card sits tucked between the numerous pieces of paper, coupons and cards and you pull it out, throwing it onto the surface of the dresser.

Your phone is next to it.

After a long moment of contemplation, biting your lip in thought and eye flickering over the figures printed on it - you grab your phone.

He comes nearing sundown, two knocks on the hotel door which have you standing up and walking towards the door with a sigh before unlocking it.

San stands leaning on the doorframe, head cocked to the side and dark eyes immediately latching onto yours.

"Didn't peg you as the type to bring your lovers to hotel rooms. You're really a changed woman now, Y/N." He says, lips perking up.

"Get in." You with an eye roll before turning around and heading for the balcony again but not before picking up an extra glass from the tray.

"Okay, wow, you're in a mood." He comments, lips folded in a pout when he finds you back in your chair on the balcony and plops himself in the chair next to yours. "Bad day?"

You snort in response; one- because yeah, bad day is an understatement and two- it's San who is asking.

Silently, you pour him a drink before refilling your own glass.

You pull your legs up on the chair and lean your chin against your knee as you watch him take a sip. San grimaces at the taste, tipping the glass towards you in question.

You sigh. "It was in the mini-fridge."

The whiskey is no doubt cheap. You wouldn't know because it's not usually your drink of choice but it seems like it is San's who instantly recognizes the difference.

Snob.

"Ah."

You fall into an oddly comfortable silence, both staring at the view in front of you. The sun is almost set now, the sky painted the most beautiful mix of oranges and purples and pinks that you've seen in awhile.

"Okay, so since you don't seem like you have any intention of speaking even though you were the one who, y'know, called me up here...I'll start." San says popping his lips as he places his glass on the table, you feel him glance at you from the corner of your eyes. "It's a rather...delicate subject from what I could gather but I think it's best if I just ripped off the band-aid."

At that you turn to him slightly intrigued at whatever bullshit is about to spill from his mouth.

"You called me so I have your number now, right?" Your eyebrow furrow at the question before he continues, "I was wondering if...if I could give it to Seonghwa."

You don't know if your expression gives you away. You try to smooth out your features but your jaw is clenched so tight you think your teeth might break.

You observe San's expression, his eyes boring into yours from across the small garden table between the two of you, trying to gauge if he just somehow found out who your brother is and is just fucking with you.

But San, for all the times he was cruel, isn't that cruel.

"How the fuck do you know Seonghwa?" You whisper, voice coming out slightly hoarse and confusion only deepening when you see San grimace.

"It's a long story." He chuckles almost awkwardly and you clench your jaw again.

"Amuse me."

San sighs, head tipping forwards a bit in contemplation before he straightens out again. "When I got your letter, thanks for that by the way it was a real...whatever, he came to the frat and beat the shit out of me."

Your jaw drops at that in genuine surprise because it just doesn't sound like Seonghwa. At all.

Your brother did boxing occasionally for shits and giggles with his friends but physical altercation is so not him. He couldn't hurt a fly.

"Seonghwa did?"

San chuckles bitterly, almost pained by the question.

"Oh, he sure did. Broke my nose, busted my lip, black eye...yep, the whole package." He recollects with a sigh, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "But that's not...anyway, that's not the point."

You open your mouth ready to ask for more information but he is quick to derail the conversation.

He seems...embarrassed. "Um, a couple of days after that I stopped by your house thinking your mom or dad would be home so I could ask them for your number or e-mail or I don't know...something."

As the shock crosses your face, San is quick to explain.

"Don't overthink it!" He quickly defends himself then lets out a low groan, tipping back the rest of his glass. "I wasn't trying to do a romantic gesture or anything-"

"Oh, God forbid." You comment sarcastically. Of course Choi San would think being romantic is the worst thing in the world. He just shoots you a quick glare before continuing.

"I just wanted to...uh," His finger runs over the tip of the glass, eyes avoiding yours, "Wanted to apologize, I don't know."

You stay silent at that and he sighs again, licking his lips before looking up to you again.

"But they weren't there, instead Seonghwa opened the door and after the, y'know, initial urge to break my face...again, he, uh, let me in. I think it was because he was drinking so it made him all...sentimental and shit." Yeah, that sounds like your brother. "But anyway, he offered me a drink, we got to talking a little bit and yeah..."

You stare at him, gaping.

"So, wait, so...you're friends with my brother...?"

San grimaces at that again, "Well, I wouldn't really call us friends. I'm pretty sure Seonghwa hates me and," He scoffs with an eye roll, "It's not like I'm awfully fond of him either but we sometimes go to a bar and just be...bitter and miserable adults together."

"Oh, so you're fucking friends with my brother now." You conclude sharply, nodding as you run your tongue over the top row of your teeth while staring at the city lights in front of you.

"But can I? Give him your number?" He asks again, this time quieter, "I didn't mention seeing you again or anything and it's sort of making me feel like shit because I know he'd love to hear from you."

You swallow down all the emotion pilling up in your throat. You hadn't seen Seonghwa since the day you got disowned but you surely thought about him. Often. For better or for worse, you always will love Seonghwa.

He was your hero and it's hard to just will all of that away.

"I'll think about it." You say in the end, tipping the rest of your glass back and immediately going in for a refill before pouring into San's glass as well.

"That's all I ask." He nods in thanks when you slide his glass over to him. "So, now that we got that out of the way; Why did you call me here?"

Now it's your turn to avoid his gaze. You focus on the cars passing by below you and pursue your lips.

"I...I don't know." It's such a shitty answer. The last thing you wanted San to think was that you invited him so you could fuck him. Given your history, you can't exactly blame him for it but it's not why.

Since you've seen San again, the thought of sleeping with him hadn't crossed your mind.

Not because you don't find him sexually appealing anymore, no, you don't think that will ever happen. It's not possible with San.

But maybe, you just stopped chasing for relationships where the only goal is to get off. They leave you feeling empty, hollow. You want to be whole.

And there is something about San and everything you've been through with him that makes you want to talk to him.

"My life is kind of shitty right now and I feel like every single relationship I have is falling apart one way or another and I don't know what to do so I just..." You trail off shaking your head, not knowing where you're going with this.

"I understand." San responds quietly. You let out a bitter laugh.

"You do?" You ask meanly, cocking your head at him with a smirk.

He doesn't take it to heart. "Yeah, sometimes you need to spill your guts to someone who you don't like all that much just to hear what they'll say and who's better than the asshole you were hooking up with in college."

"Shit." You let out unintentionally because maybe he does get it. He lets out a laugh.

"Why do you think I have your brother for?" San asks jokingly and you let out a snort at that. He snickers, pushing your shoulder gently with his hand. "So tell me, princess, what's going on?"

So you do tell him. Everything.

You tell him about Mingi. About what happened two years, what happened at the beginning of summer, what happened yesterday.

Then you tell him about Wooyoung. About Yeosang. About everything. You notice how his eyes dim a bit at the mention of Yeosang's name.

The pain, the tears, the anger - you tell San all of it until he's staring at you silently when you finish.

"Well, shit." He chooses to be his opening words, "I can see what you're so fucked up about now."

"Yep." You take another gulp of the whiskey, the nasty overly strong and somehow sweet taste not even being that bad anymore.

"I know this might come off real fuckin' hypocritical but you have to give me more than that. Like, what's the actual issue here?" San asks, grabbing the half empty bottle by now and pouring himself another glass. You give him a confused look. "What I got from this is that they both apologized so what's the actual problem? Forgiving them?"

"It's not..." You start but pause, mulling over your next words. "I'll forgive both of them but...it's not...it doesn't feel enough."

You quickly fix your words, "It's enough with Wooyoung. I'll be mad and sad over it for awhile and then...things will go back to normal because he's Wooyoung. I have a feeling I'd forgive him if he killed someone."

"So, Mingi...?" He asks, taking another sip before pulling out his pack of cigarettes from the back pocket of his jeans. He offers you one and you take it with a sigh.

"Yeah, Mingi." You nod, leaning closer when he offers you a light before lighting up the stick between his own lips. "I don't know...I...It's going to sound stupid."

"It might but it doesn't matter." San shrugs blowing out the smoke. "I don't judge."

You stare at him, taking a drag from the cigarette silently. The alcohol makes you more loose-lipped so it's easier to talk even about the things that have been eating you up inside for so long.

"I don't like how he didn't choose me."

"Of course." San nods, flicking the cigarette in the small metal ashtray on the table.

"But he apologized...he feels bad about it...." You trail of weakly, not sure of your own defense.

"So what?" He shrugs, looking at you for a response as he takes another drag. "He apologized because it's the right thing to do but you don't owe him anything."

"But-"

"Y/N, do you wanna be with him?"

"Yeah," You nod before pursuing your lips, "But I don't want to be with someone who just...who just ditched me like that. It doesn't feel okay. It makes me...it feels wrong to me."

And that is the complete and honest truth. You want to be with Mingi. He makes you feel warm and fuzzy and everything you expect you should feel in a relationship with someone but the choice he made two years ago drove a wedge through you and now sits in your chest like a stake which you just can't pull out.

"Well there you have it." San says as if it's the easiest thing in the world. You scoff.

"It's not that simple."

"It feels pretty fuckin' simple to me." He shrugs and it makes you roll your eyes in annoyance. San bites on his lower lip before he decides to speak again. "You shouldn't lower your standards or force yourself to get over something that's obviously bothering you just because you want to be with someone."

"But," You chuckle humorlessly just to hide the tears brimming at your eyes as you turn forward again, to avoid his gaze. "Do I even deserve to have those standards?"

San looks at you in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I just think I'm asking for too much considering I'm not exactly a person that deserves all of that." You say quietly, taking another drag of the cigarette before exhaling. "I'm a bad person, San, do I even deserve to ask someone to pick me? Shouldn't I just be happy that he seems to want to be with me now?"

San stays silent next to you and you clench your jaw, fearing what his response may be. You might've asked him to come here to talk but that still doesn't mean you're not scared of getting hurt.

"That's bullshit."

"Wha-" You open your mouth in frustration but he interrupts with a shake of his head, eyebrows raised as if he's telling you the most obvious thing in the world.

"It's bullshit." He shrugs, taking a last drag from the cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray. "First of all, you're not a bad person, Y/N, I don't know who told you that but you're not. It takes more than saying a few mean words to be a bad person."

"Second of all, don't ever allow yourself to feel like you don't deserve something you want." San states with determination. You open your mouth but he holds his hand up, "No, listen, when you're shopping, right?"

You groan because of course. Of fucking course, San would still associate you with shopping.

"Listen, when you're shopping for, I don't fuckin' know, a bag or something do you buy a bag even though you're like, 'hm this one doesn't have enough pockets and I don't really like the color and it might be too small but it's okay I'll still buy it'...?" You stare at him. "No, you fuckin' don't. You're buying it. You've investing in it. So it should be perfect. It needs to be the best fucking bag in the entire mall."

"Mingi isn't an object, San. He isn't a thing I invest in so I don't see how-"

"Well, obviously he's not a thing but of course you invest in him. You invest your time, your feelings, yourself." He lists holding up his fingers, "So if you're investing all of that in him but still carry that burden of what he's done at the back of your mind then I don't really see the point? Why would you do that to yourself?"

"That's ridiculous." You let out a laugh. "Nobody is perfect, like, everybody will make mistakes. If everyone acted that way and just never got over shit, nobody would be in relationships or have friends or-"

"But we're not talking about everyone here, Y/N, we're talking about you." San remarks giving you a pointed stare. "Some other person would maybe accept Mingi's apology and get over it and I'm not saying that's wrong but you are obviously still bothered by it even after the apology because you said it yourself, it feels wrong to be with him to you."

"And that's fine." He discloses softly and you swallow, taking another sip from your glass. "There's nothing wrong with that either. Nobody can tell you how to feel, Y/N."

You mull over his words, surprised that San of all people is so good at understanding others around him so well. You always took the fact that he was closed off emotionally as a sign that he didn't understand or read emotions all that well or that he didn't care but now you're starting to realize that maybe he reads them a little too well but just keeps it all to himself.

"Wouldn't it be a bit hypocritical to go back to how things were with Wooyoung but leave Mingi?" You ask unsure, the cool air of the summer evening feeling comforting on your skin.

You've thought about it since yesterday. After you told Mingi it might've been better if you hadn't started anything at all, yet still allowed Wooyoung to hold you as you cried.

"Maybe." He shrugs, taking another sip of the golden liquid from his glass, "But who cares? Like, they're not comparable at all in my opinion but genuinely, it's your life. You decide who you want in it."

"That's...a bit selfish, no?" You scrunch up your nose and San laughs lightly.

"Selfish? Sure but everyone is selfish." He gives you an 'are you kidding?' look when you look at him ready to argue, "Everyone is selfish. Everyone around you is selfish and everyone around me is selfish. You and I, we're selfish as well."

"I don't...not everyone..." You mumble, pouring yourself another drink. The alcohol is starting to hit fully now, San seems fine despite drinking more than you though.

"You think your friend wasn't selfish? He started seeing Yeosang despite knowing you were on bad terms with him, that's selfish." San points a finger at you as if to prove a point, "And then he hid it from you despite knowing it would hurt you because he just wanted to keep you and your friendship the way it was. That's selfish as well."

"Mingi as well, he didn't bring anything up even though he knew it would be the right thing to do because it was easier to pretend like nothing happened because he wanted you and knew that bringing it up would make it fresh again for you and maybe drive you away further." He remarks with a shrug. "It's all selfishness but I don't see it as a bad thing necessarily, it all seems to prove their love and care for you. But it's still selfish."

You don't dare interrupt his little rant, probably drunken ramblings at this point but you're equally as drunk and you want to listen.

"You know people sometimes say they want the best for you and sure, that might be true to an extent but really I see it as a 'I don't think you should do this because you'll feel like shit and as someone who cares for you, it will be an inconvenience to me because I'll feel bad as well because I love you' like, they still put themselves first in a way even without realizing it so maybe that's not selfishness but it sure damn is close to it." He nods with his lips folded in a natural pout, "And it's not bad, it's inherently human to be selfish."

You store everything he says at the back of your mind, hoping you will remember it in the morning.

"You know," You start off quietly after a moment of silence, "You're really good at this for someone who hates dealing with their feelings."

San smiles at you over the rim of his glass before taking another sip. "Maybe that's why I hate it. Because I understand how fucking complicated and hard it is."

You really didn't want it to get to this point. Where you're given a chance to talk about San but the opportunity is still too good to pass up on. After all this time, it would still be pretty sweet to figure him out.

"Don't you want someone?" You ask curiously, laying your cheek on your knee as you stare at him while running your finger over the rim of your glass. "To love you? To love?"

San sighs lowly, leaning back in his chair again as he stares out to the city. He murmurs slowly, "I don't think that's in the cards for me."

"Why not?" You push, the one question that's been plaguing your mind for so long. Why not, San?

"Because..." He starts, gaze casted downwards, "Uh, I don't think I would be good to them."

Your brows raise at that, cheek sloshed against your cheek and he glances at you for a brief moment before turning his eyes to the city lights again.

"I'm not saying I'd treat them badly, no, I can do all the superficial shit if I really want to like, remembering dates and buying flowers and being a good boyfriend but..." He smacks his lips in thought, "At one point, that won't be enough. They'd want to know me, want to know more than I want to show and I'd get... I don't fuckin' know, it would start being suffocating. Like I genuinely think I'd feel sick to my stomach as dramatic as it sounds because...it's scary. To be vulnerable."

"You know," He angles his body towards you and he continues speaking almost through a whisper, "That's why I draw the lines. Like, 'we can do this and we can do that but no feelings, no relationship'. And sometimes they'd think they're in love with me," His eyes are on you when he says it before they fall to the table, "And I'd pretend I don't see it because I'm doing them a favor, really. Despite popular belief, Y/N, inflicting emotional pain on women isn't something I enjoy. But making them think they have a chance by starting a relationship, making their feelings more real only for it to fall through in the end when they realize that I can't give them all of me...now, that's cruel. I don't want to do that."

He reclines back in his seat again and you're completely silent, the traffic from the world below you is the only thing heard.

“Boyoung...she might’ve been the closest thing to love I’ve known and the moment she started to want more, to know more, to ask more...I couldn’t do it. It’s like I couldn’t fuckin’ breathe when I was with her when she’d start asking about my parents, my childhood...anything that I obviously avoid. I just couldn’t. I tried that one time and I don’t plan on trying again. I’m just not made for it...” He trails off in thought, "I don't want to hurt anyone more than I have to so it's just best to do what I've been doing until I can."

"And for how long do you think that will work?" You wonder out loud, picking your head up to take another sip from your glass.

"For as long as I can drag it out." San responds quickly with a chuckle, "I've been working for about two years now. Big company, rich people, a lot of money...I'll be moving up the ladder soon and I already think I know what the rest of my life will look like."

"And? What does it look like?"

He starts with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "I'm on the way to becoming a workaholic so I'll mostly focus on that. Spend my twenties and thirties fucking around with different women because a relationship isn't an option and climbing up the company ladder. By the time I'm in my forties, I won't be as desirable to women anymore but I'll have money and probably a top position at the firm."

Listening carefully, you can't help but think what a miserable life that is.

"Then I'll marry someone younger because she'll make me look good but I won't love her. And that's okay because she won't love me either, she'll definitely marry me for the money and won't mind that I only gave her a small part of myself." San takes a sip of the whiskey, swallowing the drink with pursued lips, "And she'll cheat on me with the pool boy or some other younger guy because I'll always be working but that's also okay because I won't be faithful either. And I'll probably develop a drinking problem somewhere in between and we won't have kids because I don't want to bring innocent babies into such a fucked up marriage."

When he goes quiet, you can't help but watch him with furrowed brows and feeling awfully saddened.

"Why would you want to imagine your life like that?" You probe, strands of hair that were framing your face swaying in the cool breeze.

San shrugs, eyes focused on the city lights with his eyebrows pinched. "Just think that's how it's going to be...or at least something similar to it."

He turns to find you watching him and lets out a soft smile, "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" You give him a one sided shoulder shrug and he eyes you.

"Like you feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity." San shakes his head, looking away again. "If I wanted things to be differently I know what I'd have to do to change it but I simply don't see that happening anytime soon. Kind of a bummer, huh?" He glances at you, "How our futures depend solely on us and no-one else."

You give him a weak chuckle in return before both of you fall into another silence.

Another thought crosses your mind and you contemplate whether or not you should say it. You've already told San enough and he told you a little bit as well. But you're both silent now and there's nothing else to do so you decide to say it anyway. You're drunk so maybe you won't even remember it in the morning.

"I want to be in a relationship so badly." You start of shy, back to avoiding San's eyes when he turns to look at you, "I crave stability and I think that's why I started this...thing with Mingi again because he made me really happy back then so I thought...maybe it's not that important that he didn't choose me then if he's back now."

"Mhm," San nods in agreement, playing with the glass in his hand, "And I think you're worried that no-one will come after Mingi."

You scrunch up your face at that, "Well, that...that makes it sound like I'm settling for Mingi or something. It's not like that, he's not someone you settle for. He's great, anyone would be lucky to be with him."

San's expression twists up, "You need to stop putting everyone you're in a relationship with on such a high pedestal while downplaying yourself. You're making it seem like he's doing you a favor by being with you. Anyone would be lucky to be with you as well, Y/N."

"San." You warn him, shaking your head with a laugh.

"What?" He ponders, genuinely confused, "You know for someone who always seemed so confident and acted like they're better than everyone else, you are weirdly insecure."

Your jaw drops, "Uh, fuck you."

"I'm just saying," San groans, popping his lips again, " You have a lot going for you and you're always going to have options so even if things don't work out with him, someone else will eventually come along. If that's one of the things you worry about, I'm just telling you that you shouldn't."

That is one of the things that you worry about....a lot. If you decide not to pursue anything further with Mingi, what if everyone else that comes after him just doesn't treat you as good in comparison to him. And in the end, what if you regret letting him go?

Why couldn't you simply stomach what happened two years ago and just be with him?

"He's a good guy..." You trail off quietly, lips folding into a pout unintentionally.

"I'm sure he is but there are other good guys as well." He maintains eye contact with you, "If you want to be with him then it should be for the right reasons and if you're sure that you won't hold the past against him, not because you're scared of ending up alone or placing your own worries at the backburner for him."

You slump back on your knees as you let San's words sink in.

Forgiving Mingi is easy. You know he feels sorry, you know he didn't mean anything he said that day or yesterday, you know he cares about you in some way.

But letting go of the resentment you feel deep inside over not being worth the fight in his eyes and not holding that against him if you do decide to continue anything with him?

You are not sure you are capable of that.

So is it really fully forgiveness? If you can't let it go?

"This is such a mess." You sigh, pouring yourself another drink clumsily before handing the bottle to San.

"Tell me about it." He responds, speech slightly slurred.

"You really are good at giving advice though, maybe you should listen to yourself more often." You say teasingly, giving him a drunken smile.

San gives you a faint glare. "Shut up. You mention this to anyone and I'll deny every word."

You giggle. "Can't have people thinking you have a heart, yeah?"

"Exactly." He smiles before bringing the glass back up to his lips.

"So..." San starts, pulling you out of your thoughts after the moment of prolonged silence that enveloped you both as you stared at the city in front of you, "How is Yeosang?"

You glare at him. "Seriously?"

"Come on." He rubs the back of his neck, puppy eyes coming out the longer he stares. You sigh.

"He's working at the same IT company as Mingi and lives in a nice big apartment that he shares with a roommate I haven't met before." You list off from the top of your head, "He has a small poodle named Butter and he's also dating my best friend who just happens to be the best person in the world so...I'd say Yeosang won the life lottery out of all of us. Lucky motherfucker."

San goes quiet, rapidly blinking as he stares at the surface of the table but a ghost of a smile appears on his lips. "That's good, yeah."

"You want me to-..."

"No." He shakes his head immediately, already knowing what you were about to say. "I was shitty to him and after I apologized, he said he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I have to respect that, reap what you sow."

You nod with a hum.

"Your friend is in good hands though, Yeosang is...great. Yeah, he's great." San adds and you nod your head absentmindedly, not really in the mood to talk about Yeosang.

"Why did you choose this hotel out of all places?" He asks suddenly, changing the subject as he turns his attention to you again. "Everything else was full?"

"No, uh," You glance at him, "It's pink."

There's a moment of silence and your cheeks warm up.

"Right." San smiles, dimples on display.

"Shut up." You grumble, grabbing your glass again and taking a sip as he laughs.

"No, it's cute." He adds when he's done laughing, "It's very on brand."

"Whatever."

You sit there for another hour, quietly murmuring drunken stupidities amongst yourselves as you keep drinking. When he mentions college days, it doesn't sting as much as you thought it would. It's so weird.

"I don't think I was ever in love with you." You murmur out of nowhere and San slows down his action of going after the bottle, eyes finding yours.

He smiles, "I know, Y/N."

Choi San was always an enigma. Something you desperately wanted to figure out and have because no-one else could. You mistook your ego getting wounded at the thought of not getting your way with him as love somehow but it was never love. You just didn't know it back then, too blinded by your pain and anger and Choi San's ability to be devastatingly irresistible.

He broke your heart multiple times but it was never a heartbreak that came from love, it was something else.

You smile as well and then sit up to snatch the bottle from his hand.

"Well, time to brotherly share this." You say swishing the small amount of whiskey left in the bottle which you divide as fair as you can between your two glasses.

"Cheers." San says quietly, clinking his glass against yours before you both take a sip.

After both of your glasses are drained and you are sufficiently drunk, San decides it's time to leave so you follow after to walk him out.

"The reception said your cab will be downstairs in two minutes." You tell him, waiting by the door as you watch him check if all his belongings are there and that he didn't leave anything behind on the balcony in drunken stupor.

"Okay." He nods, brushing past you and walking out.

"San," You call softly after him because it is the middle of the night now. He turns in question, just a step away from you. You pursue your lips, arms crossed over your chest as you stand leaned on the doorframe. "You can give Seonghwa my number."

His eyebrows perk up at that faintly but he nods in response.

"And..." You start, the words dying in your throat as you look at him, feeling oddly sad that he has to go.

"...and?" He insists turning to face you fully now, taller frame towering over you that you have to crane your neck a little to look at him.

"And after this, let's not see each other again." You tell him quietly, tears burning at the corner of your eyes but holding your head up high.

San smiles softly, surprising you when his hand reaches up and gently tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear before leaning closer and pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

He steps back, soft smile, soft eyes, soft voice. Soft. "Okay. Let's not see each other again."

You give him a watery smile, "Good night."

"Take care, princess. Good night." He gives you one last smile, dimples and all, before turning his back to you and walking away.

Locking the door shut, you make sure the balcony door is closed as well before plopping down on the still neatly made bed with a groan. You're out like a light in minutes.

On Saturday, you nurse your hangover and take full advantage of room service by ordering greasy food that you would usually avoid. You draw a little, back on the balcony.

You think you can imagine Miguel The Skeleton owning a pink hotel just like this but it's kind of a busted job because no human wants to go to a hotel owned by a skeleton wearing a hula skirt and a 50s grandma hat. Miguel The Skeleton doesn't look as smug at that revelation.

Maybe if he ditched the ugly hat, you tell him...Would make him look far more approachable.

You don't check your phone at all on Saturday, just put it on silent and leave it to get charged.

On Sunday, you're ready to go home.

In the morning, you take a nice shower and pack up all your belongings. Dutifully make sure all your pencils and papers are in place and get dressed in a floral dress that feels light on you which is perfect for the God awful temperature rising outside even if it's barely noon.

After you check out, you take a cab to your neighborhood and stop by the local restaurant to get lunch from there. Given everything, you still feel bad for just leaving Wooyoung like that. The two of you haven't been separated this long in the last two years and you don't know if that's a bad or good thing.

You unlock the front door and walk in, leaving your duffle bag in the hallway while taking off your shoes and walking inside, carrying the food you got in the plastic bag hanging from your hand.

As you place it on the dinning table, you hear a door slam open and footsteps stomping up to the main area.

"I brought food." You quietly say, focused on taking out the containers without letting anything spill that you don't even notice Wooyoung staring at you.

"You b-bitch." You hear him say, more like whimper and it immediately has your head snapping towards him, brows furrowed in confusion that melts to worry when you notice his disheveled state.

Red, swollen eyes, messy hair and tear-stained blotchy face. Dressed in his pajamas and just standing there, looking at you as his bottom lip wobbles.

"Wooyoung, what-" You straighten out slowly but he glares at you.

"Are you going to move out?" He's trying to glare, seem angry but all it does is make him look so vulnerable as more tears slide down his cheeks and his face scrunches up.

You do a double take.

"What?" You question as you near him cautiously, brows furrowed as your confusion deepens. "Why would I move out? I live here."

"Were you out for the weekend looking for a new place? Be honest with me! Is that what you were doing?" He interrogates you loudly, before breaking out in another sob that immediately has you latching onto his arm to calm him down. "Are you g-going to leave me? Yeosang said you wouldn't leave no matter h-how angry you a-are but I'm n-not so sure now!"

You sigh, placing your hands on his shoulders gently as he stares at his feet, tears dripping down his face.

"Well, it's hard for me to say this but Yeosang is right." You start off quietly, calm and collected. "I'm not going anywhere, Young-ah."

He sniffles, wiping the tears away with his sleeve before bringing his gaze up to meet yours. You immediately soften once you see the fear and insecurity in his eyes and you hate yourself for leaving a little bit despite having the full right to do so.

You place your hand on his cheek before giving him a small smile, "Wooyoung, I would never leave. I just took a little weekend vacation to the city, that's it."

He breaks at that, hands going up to hide his eyes as he cries. "I'm sorry. I'-I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry. I'm-"

Your gaze softens and you start to realize that this took a toll on him more than you expected and on instinct, you grab him by the nape of his neck and pull him in for a hug as he latches onto the skirt of your dress while crying into your neck.

"It's okay." You whisper comfortingly to him but feel him shake his head against you.

"It's n-not okay! It's not. I h-hurt you and I-..every t-time I tried to talk to y-you I ended up m-making it worse and I'm s-so sorry-" Wooyoung rambles through his hears.

You push at his shoulder until he lets go of you and cup his face with your hands, your own tears threatening to fall.

Nobody can tell you how to feel, Y/N. San's words echo in your mind.

"Wooyoung, listen to me," You shush him gently, "I love you, Wooyoung and before we left for Paris, I made a promise to myself that I'd do my best for you to be happy, like you deserve and if Yeosang makes you happy then that's just something I'll have to get over, okay?" You wipe the tears under his eyes with your thumbs as he stares at you, face still crunched up, eyes glossed over with tears and lips wobbling as he tries to hold in his sobs, "So don't even think about that anymore. And the rest, well I'm hurt...and it might take awhile for us to go back to how things were but...but we'll get there. I swear, Young-ah, I'm not going anywhere and everything will be okay, hm?"

His face crumbles again as more tears fall but he nods shakily before burying his face in your neck. "I love you, too."

You sigh quietly, wrapping your arms around him again as your tears slowly get soaked up by his shirt.

You squeeze him lightly one more time before moving to untangle yourself from his hold and he steps back, wiping away his tears again. You smile faintly.

"Come on, I brought lunch from that place down the street." You tell him, heading to get the cutlery and plates from the kitchen cupboard as Wooyoung watches you for a second longer before following your lead and quietly grabbing the judge of juice from the fridge and a handful of napkins.

"There we go. Bon appétit!" You proclaim as you fill up your plate, trying to be as cheery as possible just to make him feel slightly better. Seeing him so down feels like a punch in the gut.

You both eat in silence, neither knowing what to exactly say so you just stick to keeping quiet until finally, Wooyoung starts.

"So...where did you go?" He asks hesitantly, voice hoarse and you perk up in your chair as you chew.

"Oh, I was in that pink hotel near the center." You say while chewing before you slow down, glancing to the side for a split second. "San came to see me there."

The revelation causes Wooyoung to start choking on the bite he was chewing and he quickly flails around, grabbing the napkin as he coughs into it. You take a sip of your juice and clear your throat before innocently taking a peak at him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, y-yeah. Just went down the wrong pipe." Wooyoung croaks out, loudly clearing his throat before looking up at you.

You know he has a plethora of words for you right now and it's almost fun to watch him try to hold himself back from say them.

"Just say it." You shrug, bringing the chopsticks up to your mouth again and chewing.

"No, no, no. I'm not going to say anything." Wooyoung shakes his head, trying to play cool  and you raise an eyebrow watching as his fingers bounce off of the surface of the dinning table for a moment, obviously in distress and knee probably bouncing underneath it. "Okay, fine! I am going to say something!"

Your lips quirk up. You didn't expect anything less.

"Did you-...Why-....I mean, what-..." It's almost amusing to watch him scramble for words, hands going around in the air as if it's enough to explain anything. He sighs, hands resting on the table, "Did you fuck him?"

"No." Is your quick and simple response.

He quirks an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side, "You...didn't?"

"No." You confirm one more time, "I invited him over, we drank and we talked and then I told him I don't want to see him again and he left."

"...oh."

"Yeah."

"Hm."

"Mhm."

Wooyoung sighs, standing up from his chair. "I need something stronger than this fuckin' orange juice. Do you want some vodka with that?"

"Uh," You look around the room, "It's a Sunday noon."

Wooyoung blinks, bottle of vodka already in his hand as he stares at you besides the open fridge.

"Sure." You nod, pushing your glass towards him.

Wooyoung tips a generous amount of vodka in your glass before doing the same to his and then returns to his seat, taking a big gulp.

He sighs in content before giving you his full attention, eyes puffy and hair still a bird's nest. "Now. Tell me everything."

You get tipsy while you re-tell Wooyoung all about your night with San filled with deep, drunken musings that create a ridiculous image in your head as it's not something you ever expected to have to describe.

Wooyoung is shocked, then slightly peeved then confused but all in all, seems to be interested by the newly developed relationship that ended on the same night it started. He even says he's proud of you and you don't exactly know what to say to that.

"So, what about Mingi?" He asks, leaning back against the couch. It's been an hour since the two of you moved to the living room with the bottle of vodka and jug of orange juice accompanying you.

You give him a look.

"Right." Wooyoung nods with his bottom lip jutted out in understanding.

Sighing, you run a hand through your hair. "I'll ask him to meet up this week. To talk properly."

"That's good. Clear the air completely." He says in a supportive manner, stretching his arms above his head.

"...yeah." Is what you decide to respond with. It's not just that, neither is it that simple but you are also not ready to talk to Wooyoung about your current feelings just yet. You might've told him about San but you didn't describe in details what you talked about like you usually would, more so kept to the funny bits and stuff that wasn't all to serious or specific. Not because you're trying to punish him or anything but just...you just can't. And that's okay. It is.

"I'm gonna go to my room." You add after a moment of silence with just the two of you lounging on the couch. "I have to unpack and...get ready for work tomorrow."

Wooyoung's eyes dim a little at the obvious distancing, it's barely noticeable but you know him well enough to read him. Still he gives you a small smile and nods, moving his legs out of the way to let you pass.

After unpacking the little clothes you brought and placing everyone back to it's original place whether it's skincare or sketching supplies, you open the window of your bedroom to let the fresh air in since there seems to be a slight breeze today and plop down on your bed with laptop on your lap, ready to maybe watch a movie or just waste time online...it makes no difference.

A random movie starts playing, just something to fill out the silence as you change into a comfortable pair of shorts and an old shirt before return to bed and get lost in your own thoughts, blankly staring at the screen while thinking of what to say to Mingi if....when you see him this week.

The buzzing of your phone from the nightstand interrupts you and you frown slightly when you see 'unknown caller' on the screen. Only a handful of people here know your new number...

"Hello?" You say into the speaker, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as your frown only grows when you're met with silence from the other side. "Hellooooo?"

Your lips part as a thought crosses your mind. It's silly. It's fucking ridiculous but hope is always the saddest feeling in the world and if you don't try, you feel like it will eat you up from inside. You take a deep breath,

"Hwa?" You ask with a shaky voice, clutching the phone to your ear as you wait for something. Anything.

"H-hey. Hi." His voice cracks from the other side and your eyes burn almost on command.

"Hwa, hi." You chuckle shakily, watery smile growing on your face because it's your brother. It's your brother, it's your brother, it's your brother.

"How, uh, h-how are you?" He clears his throat, "How are you, Y/N-ie?"

You sniffle, tears streaming down your cheeks and getting soaked up by the collar of your shirt. "I'm g-good! I'm-...I got back in May with Wooyoung...I, uh, I....mm, how are you?"

"I'm good as well, yeah." Seonghwa says softly over the other line, "I, uh, I-...San gave me your number. H-He told me that you said it's okay but I didn't...really believe him." He chuckles awkwardly, nervously, "So I...that's why it took me this long to call but I still...I still wanted to hear from you even if...even if he lied or something I still..."

Your face breaks at that and you try to muffle the hiccups with your hand before forcefully clearing your throat, "I d-did! I did, I said it's...it's okay."

A moment of silence ensues.

"Can I see you?" You ask self-consciously, timid of hearing his response.

"Y-Yes! Yeah," Seonghwa laughs nervously again, "Sorry, yeah...definitely."

"So, when..."

"Well, does tomorrow...? I-I mean do you have a-....Would tomorrow work?"

"I finish with work at four." You offer quietly, anxiously waiting to hear his response.

"Okay, so...so would around eight work?...Dinner?"

"Yeah, yeah...okay."

"That...that Italian place near the fountain in the center?" Seonghwa offers and you nod quickly before almost face palming, remember he can't see you.

"That works..." You utter softly and hear him sigh from the other line.

"Okay, great. So...so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah..."

You indulge in some small talk after that, nothing long or too important...mostly discussing the weather awkwardly if you were completely honest before biding him goodbye and placing your phone back on the nightstand before laying down in your bed, curled up but somehow with a heart that was starting to get halfway full.

The next day you're on autopilot for the majority of it, only being aware of the clock ticking away and every hour passing by while you giddily sit behind your desk at work and try to do some finishing touches to the illustrations.

As soon as the clock hits four, you are out of your seat like a skyrocket, packing up your bag in a rush and bidding the room a quick goodbye before heading for the stairs.

You're excited to see Seonghwa, you really are.

You can't even find it in yourself to be mad or hurt anymore because all you can feel is how much you've missed him. You've been missing him so long even before you left two years ago.

Maybe that's how siblings work. They hurt each other and hate each other but still nothing can break them apart in a way.

Blood is thicker than water after all.

Well, you have a couple of examples that have proven that to be wrong but still...Seonghwa is Seonghwa.

Wooyoung isn't home when you arrive so you take a quick shower and change into something more casual like a cute patterned mini skirt and white halter top, washing your face of any make-up you've had on before grabbing your bag and heading for the door again.

The Italian place Seonghwa mentioned as your meeting spot was a small restaurant where the two of you used to go to when you were younger, both sharing the same appetite when it came to cheese and pasta.

You worried that you might've arrived too early, almost half hour earlier than planned but you were nervous but excited, feeling too many things to just sit at home and wait as you watch the clock.

It seems like it wouldn't be too bold to assume that Seonghwa felt the same way because as you enter a little deeper into the restaurant, you spot a familiar figure sitting alone at the table in the corner and your heart jumps to your throat as you cautiously approach him, shy and unsure like he's not your own brother.

Seonghwa glances in your direction before doing a double take, immediately standing up from his seat, even from a couple of feet away you can see him fiddling with his fingers.

You clear your throat, gracing him with an awkward smile that probably resembles a grimace more than anything else because the longer you stare the more your eyes burn with unshed tears.

"Hey." He utters once you're close enough and you can't help yourself, you walk around the table and throw your arms around him like you're that kid once again who's only friend she had was her big brother.

His arms come around your frame, holding you tightly against him and you squeeze your eyes shut as you latch onto him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so...I'm so sorry, I-..." Seonghwa keeps repeating over and over again and you're not even sure what he is apologizing for but you forgive him. You don't know why or how but you forgive him.

You wish things were different, you wish you were never put into a situation where you didn't see him for two years and had to have him apologize like this but you forgive him. You will always forgive him.

"It's okay." You say quietly against his shoulder. He shakes his head.

"It's not okay. It's...it's not okay, I should've been there. I should've..." His voice cracks and you can tell he's holding back tears, "I should've done more, I should've done more to protect you, to help you, I should've..."

"It's okay." You interrupt him even firmer, pulling away to meet his eye as you step back slightly, "You're here now...right?"

It's never too late when it comes to your brother.

Seonghwa presses his lips together, face pinched as he blinks away the unshed tears before nodding decidedly. "Yes. Yes I am."

You nod as well with a small sad smile before clearing your throat again and pulling out a chair for yourself across from him.

It's awkward and neither of you know how to act, slipping into the siblings act proving to be more difficult than you expected but you don't mind. You missed him so, so much.

"I ordered, uh, press juice or something." He shakes his head with brows furrowed and a small smile on his lips, "So the waiter should be here soon, so you can order-"

"Yeah, yeah." You chuckle, not minding the wait as you lean your elbows on the table.

Seonghwa stays quiet and so do you, eyes coasting over the restaurant before settling back on him. His hair is shorter than it was before you left but still kept neat. He looks somewhat more mature, like a proper adult and it's odd. Does he think the same way about you?

Do you look like an adult?

You certainly don't feel like an adult. People often tell you to quit acting like a child. Parents told you that you weren't a kid no longer but you really can't remember when was the exact moment you grew up.

His eyes meet yours and his expression falters again.

"Y/N, I'm really...I'm..." Seonghwa starts but then pauses, probably searching for the right words to say.

Growing up, Seonghwa and you rarely fought but when you did, you never apologized to each other afterwards. You had no idea if that was how all siblings operated but the two of you would just act like nothing happened after you cooled off and then tried to butter each other up with being out of the ordinary nice to each other.

Maybe that's why you have trouble speaking now.

"I know." You assure him with honest eyes, "Me too."

Seonghwa seems thankful when he nods and then quickly jumps in to wave down a waiter that walks over to take your order.

Throughout the dinner, you indulge in small talk. Paris, work, Wooyoung, Seonghwa's new girlfriend. You both avoid the big elephant in the room but you can't go avoiding it forever, you have to ask even if it's just out of decency.

"How are mom and dad?" You ask before taking a bite of your pasta.

Seonghwa's chewing slows down and he glances at you before shrugging. "They're...same old mom and dad."

You both chuckle after that.

You haven't heard from your parents since that same night but your grandma, your mom's mom, called you one night while you were in Paris.

Apparently, to save face as always, your mother was telling everyone how Wooyoung and you escaped to France because the constant attention here was a bother to your relationship. More privacy where less people know you. So you both transferred schools to Paris to be a happy little couple away from the nosy upper circle and experience normalcy of the Average Joe.

What a load of bullshit that she was still trying to sell and his parents didn't seem to mind either. It was a quick explanation as to why neither of their kids were in touch with them that much when someone asks, even if it is a lie.

It caused your blood pressure to soar when you first heard it and almost made you not return to Seoul at all but in the end, Wooyoung managed to talk you into it thankfully.

The longer dinner stretches on, the easier it is to speak even if the subjects were still fairly superficial. But you really enjoy dinner.

"Will...Will I see you more often?" You ask quietly playing with the napkin on your half empty plate, timid of his response after so much time of getting brushed off and barked at by him.

Seonghwa's eyes soften as he stares at you, "Do you want to?"

"Yes...yeah." Is your immediate answer as you gulp down the happy tears.

Seonghwa seems to be doing the same thing, "Then yes. Whenever."

You wring your hands in front of your face as you look at him before nodding, "Okay."

"I'm really..." Seonghwa sighs before smiling again, glancing at you before looking away, "I'm glad we did this, kid. I'm really happy and you look...you look like you're doing very good, I'm proud."

"Thank you." You whisper, unusually shy to hear the praise but you always craved his approval.

"Would you like me to drive you home?" He asks, waving down the waiter again to get the check.

"Yeah," You sigh, draining your glass of juice, "It's getting kind of late."

Seonghwa snorts with eyebrows raised. "That is something I never thought I'd hear from you. It's barely past ten."

"Hey," You whine, "I'm a working woman now and I'm not so young anymore."

"So I take it you retired from the college parties and shitfests in general." He jokes and you scoff.

"Pfft, awhile back." He laughs again.

"Let's go." Once the check is paid, he gives you a ride to your apartment and you point out the window of your living room to him, you don't know why but it's just in case you guess. If he ever decides to stop by.

When you enter your apartment, you let out a sigh before tiredly taking off your sandals and walking inside.

Wooyoung is always doing something in your shared space. He makes the dinning table his work table on most nights so you're not all that surprised to see him sitting behind his laptop, glasses slipping down his nose as he types away, grumbling under his breath.

"Hey." You greet quietly and his head picks up in surprise.

"Oh, hey." You can hear the 'where-...' before he stops himself and your heart slightly aches. He's always so nosy but now keeps his distance as well until he figures out where exactly you two stand and when he's allowed to start butting in your business again.

You want to tell him about Seonghwa though. You're so happy to see your brother again and you want to share it with someone. Not just someone, your best friend. Your Wooyoung.

You leave your bag on the counter before turning around and leaning against it so you can look at Wooyoung.

You mull over your thoughts for a moment and when you glance at him, you already see Wooyoung staring at you in question.

Clearing your throat, you smile lightly. "I just had dinner with Seonghwa."

His eyes widen in surprise, "Seonghwa? You did?"

You nod, peering up at him and Wooyoung stands up from his seat and mirrors your position of leaning against the counter.

He nods, "That's really great, Y/N. Really...that's...I'm happy for you."

You don't know what to respond. You're happy too, heart full at 68% now and you smile lightly, staring at the floor.

You don't know what to say, so you just lean your head against Wooyoung's shoulder and he chuckles, wrapping his arm around you to gently rub your shoulder.

You: hey...

You: can we meet today?

Mingi: Yes

Mingi: What time

Mingi: And where

When you get to the park in your neighborhood, Mingi is already waiting.

He's sitting on one of the empty benches staring at the sun that's slowly setting and you feel your heart pitter-patter with dread.

"Hi." You greet him, sitting down next to him but making sure there is some space between the two of you. Mingi gives you a small smile.

"Hey."

"Uh," You decide to start first, "I'm sorry for just leaving like that last week and then...not answering your texts and stuff, I needed some time to think about everything."

"...it's okay." He says quietly, still staring in front of himself before taking a deep sigh. "I want to tell you something before you say anything else."

"...okay." You abide, placing your small handbag in your lap as you basically straddle the bench so he can have your full attention. When Mingi notices your movement, he does the same thing.

He sighs again. "Remember two years ago, you asked me if I thought that you weren't worth the fight?" His eyes trail up to yours and you nod in confirmation in confusion. "Well, I definitely don't think that because I'm pretty sure I fought with Boyoung every single day for a whole year after you left."

You look at him in confusion and Mingi chuckles, "I might've not fought when it mattered but when I...turned you down...I was so angry and resented Boyoung so much for something that wasn't even her fault that I just nagged and snapped at her and..." He rubs his face with one hand, "I was so angry at myself for what I've done to you, what I said that day, that I took it all out on her until our friendship crumbled completely. She never even knew that the two of us had...a thing back then." He shrugs almost pitifully, "I ended up losing both of you in the end. I turned you down because I wanted to be a good friend I guess and then I wasn't a good friend because I liked you so much that I resented her until I chased her away."

"That's not my fa-"

"I'm not saying it's your fault." Mingi quickly interrupts you, voice soft and eyes reassuring, "It's my fault completely but I'm just telling you this in case you think I took what I did lightly. I realized I made it seem like that when I mentioned Wooyoung last time, like I was downplaying what I did but I always knew that I did wrong by you, I just never knew how to handle it properly."

He gently takes your hand, fingers starting to play with your own and he stares at your two intertwined hands while you stare at him, heart pitter-pattering again louder and louder.

"I'm sorry for what happened that day, for what I said and how I acted and for not...for being so fucking passive that I let you slip away without a fight because you are most certainly worth the fight, Y/N." Your eyes gloss over as you stare at him, "I'm sorry about last time as well, I had no right to attack you like that about San. I literally...I literally behaved the exact same as I did two years ago. Got insecure and took it out on you."

Mingi glances up at you, licking his lips nervously. "I'm really sorry. Whatever happens between us, I need you to know I'm sorry."

You nod after a moment of contemplation. "Thank you."

Now, it's your turn.

You've spent days tossing and turning in your bed at night, thinking if the choice you're about to make is the right one.

And you don't know. You may never know if it's the right choice or if it's something you will regret for the rest of your life but in this moment, it's your choice.

Only yours and no-one else's.

"Mingi, the reason why I asked you to meet me today is because I wanted to bring it all to an end in the right way..." His eyes falter a bit and you squeeze his hand, biting your lip before you continue, "I don't want you to...I guess that I don't want you to carry this burden with you anymore, what's done is done." You try to comb through your thoughts a bit better, jumbled mind making it hard to form sentences when he's staring at you and hanging onto every word that leaves your mouth, "What I'm trying to say is that I understand why you did what you did. I get it, objectively I can't blame you for it because I wish Wooyoung would've done the same for me." You chuckle and his mouth quirks up a bit.

"I forgive you...but I don't think we should be together." You continue and his eyes cast downwards again, your own start to burn as you try your hardest to blink away the tears, "I like you a lot, I already told you that but I can't get past it. I know myself, the first big fight we'd have when we'd be screaming at each other's faces and trying to take digs at each other, when I'd have nothing else to say, I would throw you not choosing me in your face because I'd know you wouldn't have anything else to say to that."

Mingi opens his mouth to refute you but you shake your head with a smile, "I would. I'm that kind of person. Even when I say that I forgive you, which I do, there is still a part of me that resents you and I don't think that will ever change."

You look down at your joined hands, "And you don't deserve that. You don't deserve to have to tip-toe around someone you're in a relationship with or be with someone that resents you in any way for something you've done two years ago and I...I deserve to be someone's first choice in that moment. I deserve to have someone choose me."

"I'm choosing you now." Mingi says, voice hoarse and you look away to stop the flood of tears from coming.

"There's nothing to choose from now." You say quietly. No decision to be made, only cheapened stakes that make the choice obvious.

You gently graze his cheek with your free hand and he picks up his eyes to look at you. He seems on the verge of tears as well.

"You're a good guy...you're a great guy. I'm not doing this out of pettiness or because I'm trying to punish you or something. You...you were the closest thing I ever had to love." His face crumbles a bit at that and you can't keep the influx of tears at bay anymore, "But I deserve to have someone choose me when things get hard and I don't want to continue this relationship that will become emotional torture for both of us sooner or later because it will, it's just how the two of us are it seems..."

"I still think we made a mistake by starting a relationship like this again but..." You trail off, thumb still running circles on his cheek as his eyes bore into yours and bigger hand squeezes yours, "But I don't regret a single second of it even if it ended. It was a really great summer, I enjoyed spending it with you." You give him a watery smile.

"I'm sorry." He whispers shakily and your smile falters, tears still streaming down your cheeks and collarbones, getting soaked up by your shirt.

"Me too." You whisper back, leaning over and pressing your lips to his. A small indulgence you allow yourself just this time before pulling away and burying your face in his neck.

Mingi's arms quickly wrap around you, as he pulls you deeper into his chest and his hand smooths your hair falling down your back.

You don't know how long you stay crying, wrapped up in each other but the sun sets, the night encapsulates you and with the utmost strength you part from him.

You bid Mingi one last goodbye with a smile and then turn around and walk away.

When you walk into your apartment, all the lights are off and you hear Wooyoung in his room probably watching something on his laptop. So you quietly strip and pull on your pajamas before washing your face squeaky clean and then your teeth, trying not to dwell on how red and puffy your eyes are as you stare into the mirror's reflection before tip-toeing to his side of the hall and into his room.

He's laying in bed with his laptop on his lap watching 'Succession' you believe and he turns to you, surprised.

"Hey-" You don't allow him to finish, you quietly climb into his bed and snuggle into his side.

Wooyoung is still faintly frozen in surprise but he lets out a small breath and moves his arm to wrap it around you, "You okay?"

You nod.

"I'm okay."

Time stops for no-one.

The days continue to trickle by. You see Seonghwa more often (usually for coffee or lunch) and each time you do it feels like it gets easier to talk to him.You know that one day, it will be like when you were thirteen again - when it was the two of you against the world. 

(He never mentions San and you never ask.)

Only this time you have Wooyoung as well, with whom you go back to normal easily. Easier than you expected after the initial bump in the road, you never ask about Yeosang though and he never mentions him which you think is a bit unfair to Yeosang.

Now, you might not like the guy all that much but...obviously Wooyoung doesn't plan on letting him go any time soon.

So against your better judgement, you tell Wooyoung that he can invite Yeosang (and Butter) to hang out at your apartment. You invite Seonghwa as well.

It's been a couple of weeks since you stopped working at the publishing company and are back to being a freelancer and doing illustrations for smaller businesses while focusing on your own art in between.

On that God forsaken Friday, you invite Seonghwa and Yeosang back to your place after work and Wooyoung orders take-out and buys beers for everyone.

Yeosang and you don't talk much. You don't really have much to say besides the times it is polite to speak to him but hey, at least the animosity is gone.

He seems to be shy and timid towards you and it takes you by surprise as those were the words you never associated him with before but Wooyoung doesn't seem surprised at all, so you conclude that Yeosang may be a shy person in general only you never saw it because you two were constantly at each other's throats.

Wooyoung puts on Succession again which seems to be a new obsession of his and you don't mind, finding the character of Roman Roy to be quite amusing as you all sit in the living room with the food and drinks and watch the show, someone throwing in a comment or two once in awhile.

"Hey," Seonghwa calls out from the other side of the couch and you turn to him in question, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

You glance at Wooyoung and Yeosang who notice the conversation but don't pay it much thought. You nod at Seonghwa before you motion for him to follow you.

"Oh, cozy set-up you got here." He says, throwing himself on the chair by your desk, you chuckle sitting down on your bed.

"Thanks. So what's up?" You ask, leaning back on your palms.

"So," He drags out with a small grin, "I was thinking, I'm going to New York next month for work but nothing too much, it's more out of courtesy than anything."

You blink at him, "Okay?"

"How would you like to come with?" He asks, eyes gleaming with excitement.

You frown faintly, "Is this...does this have anything to do with mom or dad-"

"What? No! Fuck them!" Seonghwa interrupts you quickly, "So? You wanna go?"

You chuckle as you stare at him in disbelief, "To New York?"

"Yep. Three weeks."

"Three weeks? I can't go to New York for three weeks, Hwa." You scold him and he frowns at you.

"Why not? You work from home now, right? It might be good for some new inspiration, y'know, might meet some new connections there. I can set you up, I know people." He winks at you and you roll yours. Seonghwa barely knows any people. "We could spend time together, just the two of us. Autumn in New York is something else from what I hear."

"And I hear they have rats the size of skunks. Definitely something else." You deadpan and he laughs.

"That might be something new to see as well."

You sigh, "I have to think about it. Three weeks isn't that short of a time."

"Well, you can always return early or something." Your brother shrugs in response, already standing up from the chair.

"That's it?" You ask, wondering if that was all he wanted to talk about.

"Well, yeah. Just wanted to ask." He chuckles, moving towards the door.

"I'll think about it..."

"Okay."

When you both return to the living room, you notice Wooyoung not even hiding the way he eyes you while Yeosang glares at him.

"And what were you two whispering about that the rest of us can't hear, hm?" He asks nosily, crossing his arms over his chest as Yeosang facepalms.

"Nosy ass." You mutter, plopping down in the seat next to him on the couch.

"I was just asking Y/N if she wanted to come to New York with me next month." Seonghwa explains with an easy smile, being the ever people pleaser he was.

"New York?!" Wooyoung quickly passes the current episode as he turns to you with wide eyes. "You can't leave for New York, what if you don't come back?!" He cries out.

"You are so ridiculous, why wouldn't I come back?"

"So you're going?!"

"Well, I said I'll think about it but I'll definitely come back to Korea, Wooyoung, for the last time, I live here." You roll your eyes in humor as Seonghwa snorts from the other side of the couch.

"New York is nice during fall, the Central Park..." Yeosang trails off once all three of you turn to stare at him. Wooyoung is glaring at his boyfriend.

"Wooooow, Yeosang, don't be so happy. I bet you just can't wait to see me go." You drawl out with a stoic face and you see Yeosang pale, quickly glancing at Wooyoung and blinking rapidly. You almost feel bad when you think he might cry.

Wooyoung laughs, pulling his boyfriend closer by the neck, "She's fucking with you."

Yeosang turns to you again like a deer caught in headlights and you glance at him before turning to the screen again.

"Not you just wanting me to leave so you can..." You motion with your chin towards your best friend who sits between the two of you with a shit-eating grin, "Just so you can do things to my Wooyoung, Yeosang."

Yeosang gapes at you, cheeks flushing red and you press your lips to stop the grin from showing as you go back to watching the TV. Seonghwa snorts but Wooyoung goes all out, almost throwing himself in your lap from laughter.

The sound of it makes your facade break and you let a small smile show once you see the look of pure happiness on Wooyoung's face.

Poor Yeosang, completely red in the face, glances between all of you before pointing at himself, "Me-" Then points to Wooyoung, "-doing things to him?"

"Hey-" Wooyoung tries to defend himself but the laughter overtakes him again.

"Y/N, your best friend is the literal Spawn of Satan." Yeosang deadpans, smacking Wooyoung's thigh who tries to pull him closer but Yeosang smacks him away again lightly, "I am the innocent one here who somehow gets caught up in all of his debauchery."

Seonghwa laughs loudly at that and you let out a laugh as well because you can definitely see that to be true.

"Oh, somehow gets caught up!" Wooyoung rolls his eyes at Yeosang, voice sarcastic. "Oh, okay!"

Once the laughter and teasing has died down, Yeosang leans back on the couch with a small grin, throwing you a glance that you pretend not to notice.

Two days later, you text Seonghwa.

You: new york sounds nice.

(One year later)

One room is the bedroom while the smaller one across the hall is designated for the art supplies, a big wooden sketching desk with papers thrown across it pulled up to the window, painting aisles leaning up in every corner and blank or filled canvases stacked up against the wall. A huge book shelf stretches across the wall filled with pencils and brushes all divided into neat jars and other art supplies lining the shelves below it.

The kitchen is a pretty marble green color with cooking books that she doesn't really touch that often stacked up in an open cupboard and a small shelf for spices that her best friend set up, especially for her. The counter is filled with whatever newest hobby is occupying her time, currently it's building Lego sets. Magnets on the fridge that she started to collect over time along with a postcard from Tokyo.

There are fresh flowers in a see-through vase on the dinning table made out of dark wood (it is used for most Friday night dinners, as they say she has the prettiest apartment now).

In the living room, her favorite show plays on the TV and there is a row of waxed autumn leaves from Central Park hanging above the big screen.

A cozy couch with mismatched pillows and a soft duvet for rainy days along with a coffee table and a colorful rug she got from her grandma as a housewarming gift. And another bookshelf, this one filled with candles, knick-knacks and souvenirs, an old CD player and an array of framed photos that appear all over the apartment.

Some with her best friend, arms thrown around one another in front of the Eiffel Tower, another one of the two of them cheesing at the camera. Some with her brother from the trip to New York. Some of her best friend and his boyfriend with her wedged in between, all three wearing bright smiles and eyes crinkled as they stare in the camera. Two side by side of a certain friend with orange hair, that she met when she was crying in a library, from her trip to Tokyo where she spent last New Years Eve.

There is one with her brother and her, one aged six and the other almost ten, cheeks smudged from chocolate and both having terrible haircuts that they'll get teased about relentlessly as they hug each other clumsily and smile for the camera.

Two big windows stretch across the other wall, the curtains moved to the sides and allowing the sunrays to seep inside along with the view of the park across the street and the market next to it, there is a lower shelf set up underneath the windows with a record player on top and filled with miscellaneous items like records, CDs, books, more candles and magazines.

The windows are wide open letting in the fresh morning air in, the birds chirp and there is laughter heard from kids heading to school so early in the morning.

On the wall next to the windows, there is a drawing framed.

It's her. The girl with smiles made out of rusty nails and little sparks of electricity coming from empty eye sockets. That's her place now. Only all of the moss covered parts, the rusty nails, the loose bolts and screws that she hid for so long are covered by marigolds, violets and daisies which daintily envelop each crevice, make each loose bolt stronger and replace missing pieces that aren't coming back.

She is whole now.

#san x reader #choi san x reader #mingi x reader #ateez angst #ateez x reader

[katasstrophic-arts]

In Bloom pt. 1

Sebastian x F!Farmer

Content - Pure Fluff, pregnancy announcement, unnamed farmer, no y/n, Mild sexual discussions

1.7k words

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“Ready to go?” Sebastian asks as he leans into the bathroom where you were preparing yourself. 

“Just about, yes.” you say as you straighten out your dress over your stomach. Recently your bump has gone from ‘a little weight gain’ to ‘probably pregnant’. So you and your husband have decided to make an official announcement. Your immediate families already know. Maru was overjoyed to find out she would be an aunt at the clinic. A few days later you arranged a family dinner to break the news to the rest of Sebastian’s family. Robin was absolutely buzzing about planning the nursery layout, but has begrudgingly agreed to wait for you to make your announcement.

Today at the Flower Dance, everyone in town should know of your pregnancy by the end of the day. Your dress features a high waistline that leaves little to the imagination on your condition. At four months, you’re not huge but have rounded into pregnancy.

Sebastian wraps his arms around you from behind, his hands resting on your lower stomach. He leans down to press a kiss on your shoulder before resting his chin there “Ready to be the talk of the town?” he asks with a faint blush.

“I’m already the talk of the town.” you say turning to wind your arms around his neck. “This will just be more fuel for the fire”

“Great, just what I want. More people talking to me, asking me questions.” Sebastian throws his head back dramatically.

“I’m sure Abby and Sam screaming will be more than enough of an announcement.” You pull his head down and kiss his cheek.

Hand in hand you make your way to the clearing in Cindersap Forest. As you approach Sebastian takes a deep breath and offers you his elbow. “Ready?”

“Ready!” you state proudly looping your arms together.

Walking into the clearing you see that everyone is already engaged in conversations with their friends and family. Aside from Pierre who stands behind his booth as usual.

“Hiya Farmer, Sebastian!” He waves in greeting. Noticing your appearance “Hold on. You’re…”

You gently shush him and continue towards the back corner of the field along the river where Sam and Abigail agreed to meet you.

“Hey guys!” Abigail shouts as she notices the two of you and waves you over. Her gaze drifts down as her eyes widen and jaw drops. “Wait. Is that…”

Your hand drifts up to your bump, smiling.

“Yeah” Sebastian says, breaking the tension.

Abigail shrieks and runs into your arms. Sam bounds over and pulls Sebastian into a big hug, lifting him off his feet. Sebastian huffs as the air is squeezed out of him.

“Hey don’t break him. I need his help.” you scold.

“How the hell did you hide this from us?” Sam barks loudly. Setting Sebastian down and moving over to place his hands on your belly.

“Shapewear and loose clothes do miracles.” 

You glance around the clearing to see that all eyes have drifted to this corner. Robin’s face has lit up and is practically jumping for joy as she begins energetically talking to Jodi and Caroline. You shoot an ‘I told you so’ look at your husband.

“You guys are really having a baby?! This is so exciting! Congratulations guys!” Sam squeals.

“Thank you.” you both say.

After continuing to talk to your friends for a few more minutes you squeeze Sebastian’s hand and say “Well, I’m gonna make the rounds.”

Surprisingly, he pulls you into a deep kiss. He has never been one for PDA, but today elation has allowed him to overcome his discomforts. Your eyebrows are raised when you part and he smiles tenderly at you, whispering “Good luck. Try not to get swarmed.”

You reply with a peck to his lips. Leaving Sebastian with a snickering Abigail and loose jawed Sam. You walk back along the river approaching Elliot and Leah.

“My, my! I believe congratulations are in order!” Elliot booms, animatedly throwing his arms in the air. He takes a step towards you, extending a hand towards your bump. “May I?”

“Yes, and thank you.” He gently places his palm on your bump and sighs “There hasn’t been much movement yet, sorry.” As if on cue a light fluttering is felt through your lower abdomen. Both his and your eyebrows shoot up. “Well, congratulations. You’re the first person to feel them move.”

“Sebastian hasn’t felt it yet?” He glances over at your husband.

You sigh “No, it only started recently. So far it’s so infrequent and quick right now that he hasn’t been close enough when it does happen. One time he almost knocked over the TV stand when I called him over.”

“Aww, who would’ve thought he’d be such a softie.” Leah coos.

You look back at your husband, making eye contact with him. The two of you share a warm smile as he continues to talk with his friends. 

“I’ve never seen Sebastian smile this much at the Flower Dance.” Leah comments. “Congratulations, really. I’m so happy for both of you.” She clasps both your hands in hers.

You continue your parade to the rest of the villagers. Robin, Jodi, and Caroline say to come to them if you have any questions, concerns, or just need to vent. Emily says your baby has a calm but warm energy to them. Shane recommends a parenting book he recently picked up, it’s for older children but he says you’ll need it sooner than you think. Gus offers to arrange a meal prep for you when you’re closer to delivery. Penny offers to babysit if we ever need a day to ourselves. And Evelyn is thrilled to see the community growing. All in all, it was a lot of “I’m about four months along”, “We’re waiting a bit to find out the sex”, “They’re due early to mid fall”, “We’ve split most of the farm work so I’m not overworking myself”, “Yes, we’re very excited”. After all of the well wishes and tummy touches your social battery is pretty drained.

You meander your way back to your husband and slump into his side “I am here to share the congratulations of the entire town with you and ask you to dance.”

He chuckles, “Well, how could I say no to that request?” wrapping an arm around your shoulders he pulls you closer to his side then guides you to the buffet to sit down for a bit.

A short while later Lewis announces the dance is starting. The pairs make their way to the center of the field and suddenly you begin to feel self-conscious. You smooth the dress over your stomach and take a deep breath, knowing all eyes are on you today. Sebastian holds you close and whispers “Hey, did I mention you look great today.” You look up into his eyes, “Like drop-dead gorgeous, I’d say.”

You puff out a soft laugh and feel nothing but the love radiating from this man. Your husband. The father of your child. He can read you like a book and clear your anxiety away in just a handful of words. At this point you don’t care if you mess up the dance, all you care about is being in the arms of the man you love. 

“And you look like a blueberry in that jumpsuit.” You poke back at him. He groans and throws his head back. “I just mean you look sweet.” You rearrange his hair and rest your hand on his cheek. Covering your hand with his he plants a soft kiss in your palm.

The music starts and you begin waltzing around the clearing.

“So Sam is betting that it’s a boy, and Abigail bets on a girl.” Sebastian comments.

“Oh Yoba, they’ll never change. They bet on when we’d get together, who would propose, and I’m sure they bet on when I’d get pregnant.” You chuckle. “Who won by the way?”

“Sam did, he thought we’d be at it like rabbits but Abigail thought you’d want to have the baby in winter.”

“Let’s not tell her that was the original plan. Unfortunately someone got too excited.”

“Hey!” Sebastian feigned offense.

“I mean the baby was excited to get here.” You twirl away smiling.

Another jump is felt in your belly and when you come back together a glum look is on your face. Sebastian picks up on your dispirited appearance and stiffens in his movements.  “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” he worries.

“No, no. I’m fine.” you reassure him. “But I hate to tell you that… Elliot felt the baby move”

He breathes out in frustration, “Dammit.” His grip tightens on your waist. “That’s it, I’m not leaving your side until I feel them move.”

“Wait for the dance to be over first, dork.” You say twirling away one last time.

The dance concludes and the crowd applauds, you look over to see Robin with a camera recording the whole time. Glancing at Sebastian who shrugs in a ‘what did you expect’ way. You realize he kept you in conversation through the dance to keep your mind off the crowd, probably for himself too. He leads you back to the buffet to take a seat. Your feet are starting to kill you by now. Some pickles sound good right about now as well. Sebastian starts idly rubbing circles on your back knowing you’ve had soreness lately.

Mayor Lewis steps forward to the center of the field and announces Haley has won the title of Flower Queen yet again. She takes the flower crown from him but instead of placing it on her head she begins walking away. 

“I think we all know who deserves it this year.” making a straight path to you “On behalf of the entire town, congratulations!” She smiles, placing the flower crown on your head. The crowd erupts in cheers and your eyes begin to well with tears as you pull her into a tight hug. You’ve gotten along well enough with Haley but she has never done anything so outright kind for you. “I don’t know how you got through today in those shoes.” She whispers in your ear.

“Oh, they’re coming off as soon as possible now.” You laugh, wiping away some tears.

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Pt. 2

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AN: Oh Yoba I needed to stop looking at this and just post it. This is my first fic I’ve had the guts to post anywhere so constructive criticism is appreciated. Praise is appreciated as well.

I was looking up dresses for my cousin’s wedding and found some maternity dresses that inspired me to write this…

#kats writes #stardew valley #stardew sebastian #sdv sebastian #stardew valley fanfic #stardew sebastian fanfic #sdv sebastian fanfic #sdv sebastian x farmer #sdv sebastian x reader #stardew sebastian x farmer #stardew sebastian x reader #female farmer

[sairiiya]

for your sdv headcannons

hope you like some! :)

-sam has a wall in his room filled with all the monsters he drinks

-leah and linus discuss naturey things a lot

-sam abigail and sebestian play mario kart once a week, seb always wins and sam gets hella mad

-haley has glasses but she uses contacts

-alex blasts the rock “its about drive its about power” when hes working out

-leah and elliott hangout a lot and elliott always suggest a skin care routine so they do that

-shane once went into jas room and glanced at one of he dolls and now he plays them with her often

-maru once walked in on seb working but then his internet disconnected and they both played the dinosaur game for like 2 hours

1. so many they ended up crushing Abby during a band rehearsal once

2. for sure they'd probably get along pretty well!

3. sam cant believe he always loses to Seb either at pool or mariokart

4. and she looks stunning with or without them

5. HE WOULD

6. and all that while discussing the arts, i can see it

7. sibling cooperation between STEM kids would almost lead them to getting a record if it weren't for Demetrius interrupting them

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv fanart #sdv sebastian #stardew valley fanart #stardew valley sebastian #sdv sam #stardew valley sam #sdv elliot #stardew valley elliot #sdv leah #stardew valley leah #sdv abigail #stardew valley abigail #sdv maru #stardew valley maru #sdv haley #stardew valley haley #sdv linus #stardew valley linus #mine #ask #Shane one is in progress!! #sdv alex #stardew valley alex

[subwaytostardew]

Subway to Stardew - Passenger Events - Saloon Part 2

This plays after you see the first saloon event (submas having lunch with Elliott!) and visit on a Friday after reaching 3 hearts with Elesa.

Commentary under the read-more!

Did you notice the sprites? No? Great! I finally stopped procrastinating and recolored their spritesheets so now they don't share the same brown outline and match vanilla style a bit more!

Sprite-wise... they're over 80. Emmet's in his 90's.

So many sprites.....

Also... Elesa's back! We have a basic outline for what would happen in Elesa's events, but we haven't written anything for her yet... She has plans though! She's rounding up all the artists for it. Meanwhile, submas are still struggling with passenger relations.

Elesa's storyline is going to be fun to plan out but one of her B plots is making sure Ingo and Emmet take their breaks!

Elesa's fun. She's a bit awkward herself (girl can NOT keep a secret for the life of her) but she's doing things. Nimbasa trio share a braincell and they pass it around throughout this event.

We wanted to show a little more insight into their life in the valley and how others feel about them. This time, you're catching them on a bad day. One of my favorite things about Stardew is how everyone is very much flawed in some way and everyone is an unreliable narrator. I love how it just presents life in a run-down town as is and it's up to you to interpret whatever glimpses you get.

Trying to merge the two different media's in terms of tone and seriousness is a bit complex. Pokémon - as a franchise - is at the end of a the day; kid friendly. Stardew Valley, while may look happy go lucky and cute touches upon some really heavy topics.

We are basically skirting the lines here and there with the themes and even trying to make it in character for the Pokémon characters as well.

Taking a kid friendly characters and just trying to touch upon tough subjects while also trying not to seem OOC or off - is tough. So creative liberties it is.

Not everyone gets along in Stardew. I tried to emphasize that in Sebastian's distaste for submas. He would hate being their neighbor. He's cranky because he can't sleep in until 10:00 AM anymore because they're already at work before it turns 6:00 in the morning. Extreme opposites with their problems.

Sebastian and Submas DO NOT get along... They may tolerate each other at the end of the story but they just do not mix well.

I also think that Sebastian would just project a lot of his personal problems onto them... He already does that with Maru. He's not the best taking out his frustrations in the right direction. Haven't finished Maru's passenger event yet (another battle event...) but submas would be decently close with her since she has an interest in Pokemon and Sebastian would take that as "siding" against him. They are also decently aquainted with Demetrius which isn't the best for Sebastian's dad issues. He's not fond of the invasive species they brought in but they do appreciate infodumping to each other about mechanics and such.

Oh, Demetrius... I'm going to have fun with world building info-dumps with him. Ya'll like world building? Well, talk to the villagers, they may have a glimpse into things.

I do headcanon Demetrius (pretty much painfully canon...), Maru, and Sebastian as autistic themselves just like the Nimbasa trio. Unfortunately, that does not necessarily mean that they'll always have solidarity. For one, Sebastian's sensitivity to loud noises puts him at odds with Ingo. Submas fare better with the more infodumpy types.

Sibling relations are a sore subject for all of them so submas are horrified at even the thought of splitting tracks and hating each other because they have codependency issues; Sebastian has an inferiority complex and hates how they make him feel like even more of a failure because he doesn't like Maru. Neither parties are exactly healthy, but you can pick between who you're going for! (I was curious as to what the deal was with Sebastian so he was the first bachelor I married... I think you can tell that I divorced him.)

Sebastian has his issues... He was also going to be my first bachelor but uhh, I went with Harvey. I still love Sebastian as a character tho, he is really complex especially family dynamic wise. I do feel bad for him....

He does. I do appreciate how messy his family dynamic is, but I'm a little biased against him since I appreciate Maru and Demetrius more (sorry). I really like how he doesn't handle his issues healthily (I mean... look at Emmet.) and it's interesting to compare him to the other characters.

Like Sam! Sam's a good kid (college age 20 something year old...) and actually really emotionally mature even if he's a bit childish at times. Abigail... isn't quite all there yet but she has a strong sense of what's right and wrong. She's less hesitant than Sam when it comes to things, but Sam serves a bit as damage control here. I headcanon Sam and Abigail to have ADHD so they kind of have an idea about submas being autistic and what that entails, but it's not at the forefront of their mind. It doesn't help that their autism manifests in verrrrry different ways and they don't really know them all that well in the first place. It's a bit awkward between them but they're okay with each other.

We had a bit of fun determining the heart point changes between each route. Personally, I think friendship decreases are hilarious. Also if you don't back up anyone in this situation then... 🤨

(1) Sebastian -

Ingo -100 | Emmet -250 | Sebastian +250 | Sam -5 | Abigail -15

(2) Ingo -

Ingo +40 | Emmet +5 | Sebastian -100 | Sam -20 | Abigail -25

(3) Emmet -

Ingo +25 | Emmet +30 | Sebastian -100 | Sam -5 | Abigail -5

(4) Sam and Abigail -

Ingo +20 | Emmet +5 | Sebastian -40 | Sam +50 | Abigail +50

(5) Nobody -

Ingo -50 | Emmet -200 | Sebastian -200 | Sam -50 | Abigail -50

I don't see friendship decreases as characters getting angry at you per se. It can always just be them feeling awkward and wanting to distance themselves from you for a bit. For example, if you reject Ingo in his 8 heart event, you get knocked down two hearts just so you can get more friendly-but-not-too-friendly dialogue before it stagnates again at 8 hearts.

The "true ending" is Sam and Abigail's route since they're fairly neutral picks. You should stand up for them! Sebastian would agree that him lashing out was wrong, but he just doesn't want to talk to you about it. Why would he? You would just lecture him or something.

Bad ending is not siding with anybody like a coward. Sebastian's being a bit of a bully here (mainly to a grown man a whole head taller than him, but still, his friends got caught in the crossfire) and if you're wishy-washy then that's just odd of you as the town's farmer and supposed protagonist that goes out of their way to befriend everyone. Not a good look.

Sebastian's route is a bit of a jab at how his romance plays out. A few people have mentioned Emmet and Sebastian being friends with each other under the reasoning that they're lonely autists (but mostly just being favorites, which I get) buuuut... Not sure why you would go for Sebastian when submas is right there. Pick one or the other. They're enemies here. I can't quite see them getting along past that surface-level analysis. Smoking alone is a hard No. from Emmet since birds are super sensitive to airborne toxins (so much so, you can't even have non-stick pans around them!) and he's protective over his defeatist of an Archeops.

Ingo's route is more for fun than anything. If you really want Ingo, you do get the most points with him for mentioning him, but he's confused as to why you're trying to win him over now of all times. He's concerned about Emmet first and foremost!

Emmet has trust issues so even the slightest red flag puts a quite a bit of distance between you. He has low point increases because it's hard to win his trust. In this situation, a point increase mostly just means you didn't do anything wrong. If you side with him, that's what you're supposed to do since he's the side against Sebastian. He may be getting picked on, but he's a bit of an instigator himself. His own route aside, Ingo would be most pleased to see you speak up for his brother. Ingo's route is only has the highest point increases for him because it's well, his.

As for the bar fight... It was a bit difficult to figure out how to make it play out believably and interestingly despite it being three New Yorkers against some grocery store owner. Ingo is more focused on defense, de-escalation, and protecting his passengers (in this case, the college kids). He can take a hit and doesn't want to resort to making any attacks unless absolutely necessary, so he was blocking for the most part. Had Ingo not been the designated grocery shopper, Pierre and Emmet probably would have already killed each other. Emmet doesn't have the patience to deal with Pierre. He thinks Reshiram will smite him for upcharging them and will take it upon himself to deliver the justice of truth. Emmet's swinging at Pierre. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the best defense nor balance when he's kicking and punching. Pierre's too drunk to talk about it, but even sober he suspects that submas are working with Joja because as far as he knows, he saw Morris walk away from the Railroad when they first arrived.

Ah yes. Joja stuff. *Realigns stacks of papers* Lets touch upon Joja here for a moment and Pierre's view of things. When Submas first came around. Pierre was already suspicious of them - more confused if anything - why are two major city boys who also- mind you- come from a foreign region and bring along Pokémon. Take interest in a small town? With an abandon railroad? Right off the bat he does not have a great view; he is worried about his store, his income, and family and this is stemmed all due to Joja Mart.

Now Pierre spots Morris heading towards the railroad - of course Pierre does not know what the interactions between Submas and Morris are. In his mind it's Submas making a deal to work with them or is already with them! Pierre already hates Morris as it is.

That is why he is so passive aggressive to Ingo and Emmet. Just this time around - Pierre is drunk... and Abigail's friend is being "annoyed" by them.

Well... outright agressive in this event haha. I don't quite remember how the idea was finalized, but we decided that they would get into a barfight when doing another "showing passenger relations at the Saloon" event.

As for Joja itself. I most definitely headcannon them in this whole crossover universe as the typical "bad guy" Pokémon team. However they have already won/succeeded (Pokémon are no longer in The Ferngill Republic....) However things are now being shaken up and changing.

I could go on and on about Joja and how I view them... but I think that will be a separate post (if people want to know)

The fight was a pain to debug. For one, Pierre kept running off into the void like a coward. Ingo's lines about staying behind the yellow line were made in the debugging phase because I got fed up with him for doing that.

Worse yet. 1.6 broke the Pokemon animations so now I have to go back into every event and redo everything (RIP green bean X-Scissor). The old method I was using no longer worked; before, I was using the addObject command. Now they show up as error signs because the sprites that were previously on the sheet called from were removed as they are not valid objects.

I ended up having to figure out the temporarySprites command to replace the "using a Pokeball" animation. There are no instances of it being used in vanilla. Nobody seemed to figure it out either, so I had to make a mini-event just to test its usage and figure it out.

I eventually did. Thanks to the help of my emotional support Emmet.

Ah yes... 1.6 has broken some events. Small things. (events are still playable) But we will definitely be revisiting some events to improve or make better. Or to just fix.

I have so much backtracking to do 😭😭😭😭😭 Oh well... I thought events were safe to work on since barely anything about them changed in 1.6... I was wrong.

The ending had quite a bit of revising for concision and tone. It was much more lighthearted in Kade's drafts, but I figured that Emmet is low on steam and probably would have gone nonverbal after everything. Too much passenger interaction for the day. He just wants to depart back to his home station.

Yeah there was a lot of dialog and exposition cut. (Hmm no wonder why it's only 13 minutes long. lol)

Only 13 minutes... Still a lot considering that most vanilla events are around the 1-3 minute mark...

Poor Emmet.. and Ingo. I won't lie, when first seeing the event I burst out laughing during the fistfight. Just somthing about Ingo suddenly collapsing due to Pierre. BUT THEY'RE OKAY - ISH.

It's a bit comical! I had fun ragdolling them. Emmet was going to be much more swingy in his attacks but I ended up not keeping it in since it just didn't look right when used as an animation frame.

We at least kept one of the rag-doll sprite as a "knock back" from Pierre. Which transitions well with his passed out sprite.

Until next time! Thank you for boarding!

#subway to stardew #submas #pokemon #stardew valley #ingo #emmet #elesa #sdv mods #subway to stardew terminal station

[darth-aces]

Sorting Through Books

You worked at a bookstore. One of those bookstores filled to the brim with books. In the front the books were positioned in it’s appropriate genre and alphabetical order, but the moment you step in the back you’d find yourself confused, as everything had been sort of thrown together in heaps of books. It was an old bookstore and it was recently sold to a new owner who was having you reorganize the shelves. You didn’t mind the task as it kept you busy and away from most people throughout the day which was great for any introvert.

Despite the seclusion, you weren’t lonely because you had company with you. You had a buddy with you that accompanied you as you worked. Her name was Maru, a grey tabby cat that wandered into the bookstore when the new owner bought the place and has forever made it her home. Every now and then you’d also find wandering customers looking at the books that you were trying to organize.

Today started out as any other day, book after book you managed to get a decent portion of it placed into piles that you could later arrange onto shelves.

By then you were in need of a break and made your way to the nearest coffee shop. Maru, as she always did, followed you to the front door of the shop where you told her to wait as you made your order.

When you get your drink you made your way outside where you saw Maru with a stranger, petting and praising her as they gently gave her pets on the head. You let the stranger continue petting Maru as you walk past, not wanting to disturb them and too shy to claim ownership on a neighborhood cat.

Although, you hadn’t noticed that Maru had quickly gotten up to follow you, which in return led the stranger to follow Maru.

You had already situated yourself in the back ready to go back to work when you begin to hear someone’s footsteps.

“Huh, never thought a cat would be into books.” They said. This remark made you smirk, intrigued by this stranger already.

Maru eventually walks in and sits right next to you. You immediately go to pet her before greeting the stranger that had walked in right behind.

“Hi, are you a friend of Maru’s?” You jokingly ask them. You get a good look at them. You thought they were cute, but you can’t help but to be drawn to the I will not come home drunk tee shirt they had on.

“Oh I suppose I could be. We just met and I kind of tagged along.” They answer hesitantly, a little embarrassed that they just followed a cat they don’t even know.

“Are you drunk now? Is that why you followed a cat into a random bookstore?” When you say this their face is confused before looking down and realizing that their shirt might make for a weird first impression.

“I swear I’m a hundred percent sober, your cats just adorable and I couldn’t get enough of her.” They frantically say to try and regain some control of the conversation.

“Okay, I believe you, but how do I know you’re not some weird cat stalker?” Maru at this point has cuddled up next to you taking a nap. A slight pause in the conversation arose when they began to think of their response.

“How do you know the cat isn’t the one stalking you?” Now you’re confused.

“What?”

“She follows you every where I’m guessing, considering how easy it was for her to follow you here today, she must do it pretty often. That being said, why don’t you ever think she’s the one stalking you?” You give one look at the sleeping Maru, stunned and speechless that you’ve never considered this and yet it took just a few seconds for a stranger to point it out to you.

“Even if she was a stalker, I don’t think I’d mind. She’s too cute and she helps me with the books. If you ask me I think that’s a fair price to pay for a little cat stalking.”

“Well if that’s your answer I think I’d have to confess that I’ve seen you around and maybe I was stalking you a little bit and sort of followed you and her here because I thought you were attractive. Now that I’m saying that out loud it is weird, but I swear if you told me to leave and forget about all this I’d understand. I’m just saying stuff now-“ their voice got quieter in hopes that not speaking at all could help them out of their never ending spew. You let out a little chuckle charmed by how dorky but also sweet their confession was.

“You’d be right in saying that I could banish you from this shop, but truthfully I think you’re too cute to just let you leave. How about we go out for coffee tomorrow and you can stalk me all you like.” You say smiling at them.

“Great, that sounds good. Not the stalking bit, just the coffee.” Once again their voice quiets down the moment they realize they’re not being as cool and collected as they originally hoped. You even hear a mumble of a “Great now I think I’m just embarrassing myself.”

You nod at them, smiling at how entertaining they are when they’re nervous. You then pull out a pen and a little notepad that was next to you. On the paper you write your name and number and tore the paper out for them. “My names y/n by the way.”

They take the paper, looking down at it with pure joy plastered on their face. “Thanks, I’m Bella.”

They fold the piece of paper and place it in their pocket.

“So I’ll see then, I promise no more stalking for both you and Maru. Okay, bye y/n. Bye Maru!” You two wave each other goodbye as they walk out of the store. You’re overjoyed and your smile hasn’t left your face since they walked in.

“Jeez Maru, I didn’t think you’d be such a good wingman.”

You give Maru all the pets they desire before going back to work.

#bella ramsey #bella ramsey fluff #bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey x y/n #bella ramsey x you #bella ramsey fanfic #bella ramsey tlou

[barkspawn]

I love you're writing!!! Especially Elliott, you totally nail him! I would love the Valentine prompt 9: "I didn't mean to kiss you" one please! Have a great day!

Uh hey, let's pretend it didn't take me a year to get this done for you. Let's pretend it's for VD 2024. Playing pretend is fun. :')

i'm 7000% paranoid that I suck now so please tell me if I do so I know lmao thank you.

Parties were few and far between in Pelican Town. The only party in town that Amelia can compare to one of the parties she’d gone to in Zuzu would be when Abigail and Sam decided to play a drinking game to shake things up. So naturally, when Alex and Haley decided to throw (their version of) a rager, everyone was excited. Well, everyone who didn’t go to sleep before 10 p.m.

Amelia walked down the path toward town past the bus stop and took a deep breath. All she could hear was the soft crunch of the snow beneath her feet. She was just glad it wasn’t ice. She barely made it onto the cobblestone before she could hear the people at Haley and Emily’s place. 

“Farmer!” Alex called from the side of the house, obviously already at the very least tipsy. 

Oh boy. It's THAT kind of party.  

“Hey Alex, everyone inside already?”

“Yeah,” he started, going to lean on the fence but startling himself when he was further than he thought. Naturally, he pretended it didn't happen. He continued, “They're in there tryin’ to figure out what game to play. Should go in and give your vote before you play something lame.”

“Thanks, Alex. I'll see you back inside,” she laughed, turning the corner and walking inside. 

Holy stereotype. 

There were solo cups everywhere. The lights were oddly dim and the music was just loud enough so you had to raise your voice for anyone to hear you. 

“MEEEEEEEELS!” She heard Sam call from the other side of the room. Before she even turned in that direction, she felt herself lifted from the ground and hugged tightly. 

“Down boy!” Abigail called from the direction Sam had run from. Amelia laughed as Sam put her down, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. 

“Hey, Sam.”

“Hey! Sorry. I'm just excited that you came! I thought you'd bail for sure,” he commented as they walked back over toward the small foldable table that they all seemed to be standing around.

“Ouch. I guess I deserve that. I have been bailing a lot” Amelia sighed, running her hand through her hair, “but I'm not here to mope about work. Where's the booze?”

“That's my girl!” Abigail chimed in, walking around to hug her. Amelia turned and gave Sebastian the obligatory half-hug that had sort of evolved into their usual greeting. She turned her head and spoke low enough for only him to hear. 

“I just know you hate that this is a thing. You need an out, signal me and I'll make up a distraction so you can flee. Seriously, I'll do a keg stand or even break a vase.”

Sensation laughed aloud, shaking his head, “noted, Ames. Noted.”

Amelia chuckled and looked around the room. She saw Shane (who she noted was working on a Joja Cola) standing over by the kitchen with Emily. Clint stood awkwardly nearby with a beer, obviously trying to work up the courage to join the conversation. Penny wasn't there, but Amelia wasn't surprised by that. It wasn't really her scene and Sam would probably leave early to go and see her. Maru seemed to be poking fun at Harvey, who just kept talking, oblivious to Maru’s teasing. Finally, she spotted Leah in the corner, telling a very animated story to Elliott, who chuckled along. Leah must be a little far gone too. 

“Uh, are you going to take this or am I going to have to drink it for you?” Abigail asked, snapping her out of her daze. She offered a sheepish smile and took the cup.

“No, no. Sorry. Spaced out for a moment.”

“Staring at the Great Value Fabio again?” Abigail asked, her eyebrows arched as she sipped her drink. Sebastian laughed at the remark and then again when he saw how red Amelia’s face had grown. 

After a moment, Amelia huffed, “I was looking all over the house, thank you,” she paused, “and be nice! I feel like you guys would like him once everyone opens up.”

“I don't know. He just gives off a 'pretentious’ vibe. Plus, new people are exhausting,” Sebastian added. 

Before she could respond, Haley was calling out to everyone. 

“Okay! We've narrowed it down to…” she took a moment to look at the notes on her phone, “suck and blow,” Amelia heard Sebastian chuckle as he leaned over to whisper to Abigail, who stifled a laugh as Haley continued, “truth or dare, never have I ever, or… some game where you stab cherries.”

There was a pause until Shane spoke up, “I'm sorry… did you say stab cherries?”

A few people laughed and Haley rolled her eyes, “partner one gets cherry from the bowl with no hands and goes to partner two, who has a toothpick in their mouth. Stab cherry, switch spaces, first to four wins. Drop anything, kiss.”

“Right… yeah, I totally knew that.”

After a few seconds of murmuring, Leah spoke up, “Why don't we just play spin the bottle if you're trying to make it about kissing? A peck is innocent enough and if you're not comfortable, go for the cheek. Easy.”

There were a few who agreed. Frankly, Amelia figured that Spin the Bottle would be best anyway—no pressure, no cheating, no clothes coming off. 

The chance to kiss him.  

Amelia took a sip of her drink, nearly choking immediately, gaining the attention of half of the room. Some looked worried while others looked amused. Amelia waved them off, “Sorry, sorry. Spin the Bottle has my vote.”

Amelia turned to Abigail, quietly scolding, “For Yoba’s sake, Abby, how much vodka did you put in here?”

Abigail, obviously hiding a smirk, tried to look confused and innocent, “Wait, you wanted to mix it with something? That's just the peach vodka.”

Amelia just sighed and nodded after a second, “alright. I mean, you've got me there.”

They laughed as the night went on, everyone taking time to settle in and drink for a bit so everyone builds up at least a buzz. Finishing her red solo cup of vodka, Amelia stepped into the kitchen. It was loud and warm out in the main area. She fixed herself a glass of water before walking out and leaning against the wall. 

After a moment, Elliott walked over wearing her absolute favorite smile. She couldn't help but feel more comfortable. As she thought, it occurred to her that he had said something. 

“I'm sorry?” She called over the music, leaning her ear toward him. Understanding, he leaned closer to speak more in her ear.

“Hello! Sorry, it is rather loud. I have to say, I'm excited to see you here. It seems a lot of us were happily surprised.”

She felt him give her arm a gentle squeeze. She undoubtedly was blushing but she'd been drinking too, so that didn't help at all. 

“So I've heard. It turns out you're actually supposed to take a break from the hard labor you do daily,” she responded, her cheek beside his as she spoke. He pulled back briefly to mimic shock before leaning back in to speak. After a second, she added, “Wait, are you even drinking? I haven't seen you with a cup this whole party.”

Elliott seemed amused, leaning in with a coy smile, “You've been keeping tabs on me tonight?”

Amelia felt her cheeks grow warmer. Again, she thanked the alcohol for being her excuse. 

“No! I just meant whenever I see you. Like… when I look around?” She paused, “Shut up.”

Elliott laughed and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, “You never fail to surprise me, Amelia. And yes, I have been drinking. Quite a bit if I'm being honest.”

Before she could respond, Leah came and snatched Elliott by the arm, “Hiya Amelia! Gotta steal El for a minute! Sorry!”

As she dragged him away, nearly making him stumble, he pointed with his other hand and shouted, “We'll finish our conversation shortly! Don't leave!”

Well, there goes that idea.  

She was getting tired, but she could make it. She finished off drink three: a much less strong vodka soda. She tossed the cup in the back trash bag and headed toward the front door, deciding now was a good time for some air. 

It had gotten colder out, but it was a welcome change from the muggy feeling inside. She leaned against the tree just across the path and rested her head back, taking a deep breath. She was definitely a little more than tipsy, but in no way was she drunk. 

“You good, Oats?”

She startled a bit, looking over to see Shane, his hands in his pockets and his hood over his head. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. Just needed some air. Are you headed home?”

“Yeah…” Shane started, his hand moving to scratch his chin, “I'm not really one for kissing people just for the sake of kissing. Plus, half of them are practically babies.”

Amelia laughed, turning so her shoulder rested against the tree, “hey now, maybe it's just that you're a grouchy old man who cares for nothing but his daughter and chickens,” she teased, earning a genuine laugh from him. It wasn't easy to do. 

“Fuck off,” he laughed, giving her a look, “that old grumpy bastard is gone,” he half-joked, “I'm pretty sure today makes it a whole season without the stuff.”

“Shane, that's incredible. I'm so proud of you,” Amelia smiled, tilting her head to the side. Usually, she'd hug him, but she knew she reeked of vodka. 

Shane seemed to consider for a moment before laughing again, “I can't say why, but for some reason, that means a lot. Thanks, Oats. You should go back in. Kiss literally everyone. That's what that game is right?”

Amelia rolled her eyes, "well, who knows? Kids these days and their crazy new rules."

Shane chuckled and turned, walking backward and pointed at her, calling back, “Oh, and watch out for Clint. I heard he gets a little attached!”

“Be nice!” She laughed and shook her head, “See ya. I'll fill you in on all of the.. juicy gossip when I see you again.”

He gave her a thumbs up and turned, walking back toward the dark path that led to the ranch. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliott walk away from the noise. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but he went from concerned to surprised and then to overjoyed in a few seconds. She couldn't help but smile, watching as he ran a hand back through his hair, an excited laugh escaping into the night. 

She was ready to call out and get his attention, but she had caught his eye and he was jogging over, not stopping until he captured her in a tight hug. 

“Amelia! You'll never believe the news. My book is being published! And I couldn't have done it without you!”

He was rambling excitedly (and a little drunk if they're being honest) before he pulled back and put a hand on either side of her head, keeping her gaze. 

“Really! I'm going to dedicate the book to you! I can't thank you enough,” he went on. She had never seen him so excited. Before she could give any response, he kissed her. 

It wasn't aggressive, although it wasn't tender or gentle either. It was just a simple kiss. Yet, Amelia felt sparks move through her nerves seemingly all at once. In a split second, it was over. They stood staring at one another, his hands still resting on her face. She held a look of surprise while he looked shell-shocked and mortified. He realized that his hands remained and pulled them back. She could see him scrambling, digging through his thoughts. 

“I… well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean… to kiss you. I got overly excited and that was-”

“You didn't mean it?” She interjected, not even quite sure where she was going with this. The interjection threw Elliott off. He hesitated for a moment. 

“Oh, no. No no no, that was just my excitement. That's all.”

“Oh, well, that's kind of a shame…” she started, every alarm bell in her head screaming for her to shut her mouth. However, the influence of the vodka was a bit stronger, “I thought it was a good kiss.”

Elliott just watched her for a moment, opening and closing his mouth twice before finally speaking, “You… enjoyed it?”

Quit now! Before you make it weirder! 

“I did, yeah. I've kind of wondered what that'd be like. Now I know.”

There was another pause before Elliott spoke, his words chosen very carefully, “Well, that's a horrible kiss to show what it'd be like.”

She had hardly noticed that they were still standing relatively close. He moved one of his hands to touch her face once more, his thumb brushing over her cheek.

“I could give you a better... example. I really would rather show you a kiss more worthy,” he spoke softly, not even trying to hide how he looked down at her lips once more, “if that would be acceptable?”

She couldn't even figure out how to breathe for a second before his lips met hers again. This time, it was soft, and gentle, and made her feel almost like she was flying. It also lasted longer; and though it held passion, it wasn't needy or even animalistic like making out usually felt (at least when drunk). If anything it was more sensual. Still, they parted far too soon for Amelia’s liking. 

After a moment, Elliott spoke, “So, I'm much more comfortable with you using that as a suitable frame of… reference. Well, for an intentional first kiss.”

He was very obviously nervous. She took his hand, giving it a light squeeze, “that implies that there are other frames of reference I don't have,” she offered a playful smirk, knowing how strong she was coming on. Thankfully, Elliott laughed.

“Well, there are multiple kinds of kisses, Amelia.”

“To be honest… that sounds like a lot more fun than being at the mercy of a bottle and kissing other random drunk people. We could always bail…?” She offered, trying not to sound like she only wanted to go make out or something more nefarious. Still, he arched an eyebrow, a slow smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“Are you trying to take me home, Ms. Amelia?” He teased, knowing she'd get flustered… which she did.

“Oh, Yoba. No! I just… you know… I think spending the rest of our evening kissing sounds so much more appealing than that…” 

Elliott laughed and offered his arm, “Oh, but of course. Let me take you home. I'll make a fire and we can just relax and,” he couldn't help but chuckle, “kiss. Which, mind you, I wouldn't mind doing either.”

They started walking down toward the beach path. As they crossed the bridge, she spoke up again, “This is probably obvious, but I'm going to put it out there verbally that I like you. Like… a lot.”

Elliott stopped and gave her the same look as earlier that feigned shock. She laughed and he chuckled, moving his arm around her shoulder. 

“This may come as a shock,” he started, “but I do like you a lot as well. I don't just give reference kisses to just anyone.”

She gave him a shocked look not unlike the one he gave her earlier that evening. He gave her a light squeeze and kissed the side of her head as they walked toward his place. 

#stardew valley #barkspawn #stardew valley fanfic #answered #sdv #stardew #elliot sdv #elliott sdv #sdv elliott #sdv fanfic #elliott stardew valley #stardew elliott #stardew fanfic #stardew valley elliott #elliot stardew valley #stardew one shot #stardew valley one shot #sdv one shot #fanfiction

[serialunaliver]

ok so here's the full jiji university timeline in order.

1) jiji decides she wants to study inter-planetary diplomacy and there's a public university in flaurdea that specializes in inter-planetary relations

2) flash is like wtf nooo if you don't go to the super expensive private university I choose then my family's reputation is ruined

3) flash says if jiji goes to public university he won't pay tuition

4) jiji is like ok well that doesn't even matter because i'm a top student and qualify for scholarship

5) jiji decides to attend a tour of the university and flash invites himself along so she doesn't experience leftist brainwashing or whatever

6) there are immediately when they walk in posters denouncing inequality in flaurdea and flash is like WHY IS THERE SOCIALIST PROPAGANDA HERE and jiji argues with him about it (she has more progressive views than flash which is why I jokingly call her a champagne socialist)

7) jiji struggles during parts of the tour where she learns what normal things are like and is uncomfortable, but she refuses to satisfy flash by admitting it doesn't live up to her standards of luxury

8) jiji remains determined to go anyways to spite her dad and flash realizes he can't stop her...UNLESS he downgrades her lifestyle

9) flash tells jiji she no longer can spend without limit and will instead have to rely on a 2k/week allowance

10) jiji literally doesn't know how to live without unlimited spending

11) jiji says FINEEE i'll check out the private university

12) it's the most expensive university in the universe actually not located in flaurdea but in a country called maru and flash would get jiji a nice serviced apartment there and everything

so this is a common trend in every part of jiji's life where she, in response to guilt for what her dad does, tries to live a "normal" life without his support before realizing she never learned how to.

#my world

[babiebom]

Hewwo , hope your doing well~ I really wanna request the bachelor's and bachelorettes with a partner who always, really ALWAYS, has to sleep with their comfort childhood plush (no matter how crusty, dusty, musty, stinky, misty, stitched and old it is. Thats always how you see that this thing has been loved and cuddled to no end) and always brings it along at sleepovers, how would they act or react? What do they think about it?

A/N: hewwooooooooo!! I am okay!I hope by the time you're reading this that you are doing well!! Also honestly ME I have an old stuffed dog that my great grandma gave me as a child. It is stinky, my dogs have chewed it up, and it has no eyes. I can't sleep with it because of my sensory issues(I have no idea if this is what it is) and my asthma. But i still keep it I love him

Genre:Mtl? Reactions?

Tw: mentions of bullying, jealousy. Some negative reactions, cursing.

Wc: idk but its a little long

Masterlist MINORS DNI

MOST UNDERSTANDING

Penny

Harvey

Emily

Sam

Sebastian

Elliott

Maru

Abigail

Shane

Leah

Haley

Alex

LEAST UNDERSTANDING

PENNY, HARVEY, EMILY, SAM

would be the least judgemental. Doesn't matter if you are in a relationship or not. They would be VERY understanding about your plush. Emily would be the type to offer to fix it up like restitch, wash up, she would be very sweet and would probably make you a new one to be friends with your original one. Harvey would only be worried about if the plush was too dirty and bad for your health. Like dust and stuff in the lungs is not great and he does not want you to get sick at all. Will not judge if you want him to not wash it. Just is on standby to keep you healthy. Penny probably has plushies of her own so she is not judgemental at ALL. Would like to keep all the plushies together on the bed. Literally she would be so happy someone is like her especially because her mom hates some of hers because they're from her father. Sam is just understanding all around. Love plushies? Okay. He loves everything about you unless you were a serial killer I doubt he would be judgmental or mean about anything you like or love.

SEBASTIAN, MARU, ELLIOTT, ABIGAIL

These four are a bit tricky for me because while I don't think they are particularly judgmental I still feel like they wouldn't be as understanding as the four above them. I feel like Maru would be the type to try and understand in a more scientific sort of way. She would research and talk about it in a very "well this is why you're attached and this is the science explanation for it" sort of person. I feel like she might say some hurtful things but not on purpose. Its just because she doesn't understand social things. I feel like Elliott was more sheltered growing up so he wasn't allowed plushies or anything of the sort, and toys got thrown away when he got too old for them so he just doesn't really understand why you still sleep with one. Won't do anything more than ask questions about why you still sleep and cuddle it. Abigail is more understanding but also more teasing about it than the others. She's not mean or hateful about her teasing, she's just joking as her way of showing love. Sebastian I feel like would be curious about why you need it so much. He isn't judging he is just very curious. He wants to know about why you love it so much. Might make inappropriate jokes, but backs off if you don't like them. Overall chill about it.

SHANE, LEAH, HALEY, ALEX

These four, really depend on how much they like you. Like a romantic relationship will get a different reaction than a platonic or negative one with these guys. Shane understands the most out of the four on sometimes needing things to feel comfortable and safe. He knows. So he's not really judgmental about you needing a plush. He is however a person that would get jealous of your plush if you're in a romantic relationship, like he wants to be the thing(person) that you go to to feel comfort. He wants to be what you need to sleep or feel safe. He won't say any of this though, because he knows that it's irrational and something he could work on. In a friendship or disliked kind of relationship he won't judge but he won't be nice or careful about it at all and might hurt your feelings even if he's not trying to. Leah does not really care at all either way. Like okay? Your plushies are yours and have nothing to do with her. If you are in a romantic relationship she cares a little bit more. She'll take care to not be carless with your plushies. Like she won't throw it around or kick it out of the way. She would be nicer about it, but her overall attitude would be she doesn't really care. It's not positive or negative she doesn't judge it's just a little quirk. Haley would absolutely be different based on how she feels for you. In a romantic sense she would be super careful about how she talks about your plush. She doesn't understand at all. She probably thinks it's childish but she won't say anything about. If she's friend with you she is a lot less careful. She might make jokes or comments that will hurt your feelings but would apologize depending on how hurt you are. If she dislikes you you are being made fun of. Especially if it's in front of other people. She absolutely is judging you and will make it obvious, not a good time. Alex is similar to Haley in that he does not understand at all, but it depends on what point in life he is in how he will react. In high school he will be more teasing if he likes you, saying things like "where's our child" or something. If he dislikes you he will make fun of you with his gridball friends it's a stereotypical high school experience. In adulthood I feel like he calms down. He's not going to make fun or anything but he will probably comment and maybe hurt your feelings either way. An apology will only come of he likes you.

Reactions

For the following everything is in a more friendly type of relationship. Gender neutral reader

Things were finally winding down, it was already way too late into the night to continue being awake if you all wanted to be able to get up in the morning. Everyone was already almost ready to sleep, yet you still stood next to your bag, hoping they would at least lie down quickly. It's not that you were embarrassed, you just really didn't feel like dealing with their reactions, especially tired. Shane was already lying down, eyes closed but not sleeping. With everyone distracted you quickly bring out your plush, pressing it against your chest as you move towards your sleeping spot. Someone sees you before you can lay down.

Shane would say something like "do you even wash that thing?" Then continue trying to sleep. If you're upset he would make it clear that he is joking.

Elliott wouldn't really react he would probably side eye and continue his bedtime routine. It's none of his buisness.

Sebastian would let out a little chuckle, looking at you for a second before turning his attention to the plush, then continuing to get ready. "It's actually cute..." He would say.

Alex would frown, but not in an unhappy way, in a more confused way. "Why'd you bring that?" He does not mean it in a bad way, he is just so confused.

Sam would probably make it a "big deal" on accident. It wasn't as if he was like OH MY GOD about it he was just sort of like "woah! What's that?" In a very cute and surprised type of way.

Harvey would frown at how dirty and stinky your plush is, the color off from how little it's been washed. He doesn't really say anything, just makes a mental note to offer some vitamins or something for your immune system.

Haley would laugh out loud for a second. Eyeing the plush then saying "you cannot be serious" when she sees that her comment is hurtful she changes her tune and coughs awkwardly, continuing to get ready for bed. "I mean...I didn't mean it in a bad way. I mean it's kinda cool that you kept yours...i wish I kept mine." It's very awkward.

Emily would be surprised and smiley about it. "Oh! Do you want me to sew it up? It looks like the seams are coming loose."

Leah wouldn't really react. She would just look and quirk up an eyebrow making a mental note that this is something that you keep. But that's really it nothing special as she knows everyone has their things.

Abigail would laugh, but not in a mean way. In a teasing sort of way. She would move towards you but not try and take the plush because of how tightly you're holding it. "No no! I swear it's cute! Like you!"

Maru would be surprised, and her eyebrows would go up from seeing you holding this plush so lovingly. She would rattle off some scientific facts that have something to do with how you need the plush to sleep. "It's really all very interesting! Maybe we csn research it together!"

Penny would be VERY excited. She would bring out one of her own, smiling brightly on how she doesn't have to hide her own. "Oh thank Yoba! I was scared I would have to wait until you fell asleep!"

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sdv reactions #stardew reactions #stardew valley reactions #sdv headcanons #stardew headcanon #stardew valley headcanons #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #sdv harvey #sdv hcs #sdv shane #sdv elliott #sdv alex #sdv penny #sdv abigail #sdv leah #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv maru #stardew sebastian #stardew sam #stardew harvey #stardew shane #stardew alex #stardew elliott #stardew abigail #stardew penny

[krenenbaker]

Some Stardew Villager Relationship Headcanons

What characters may interact in ways we don't see?

Note: This is a repost/updated version of a post from an old blog of mine that I no longer use. Thought that I may as well put it here on my main!

Shane and Emily are quite close, not necessarily "friends" in the common sense of the word, but they are comfortable around each other, and see each other most days of the week, whether at the saloon or around town. Emily can always make Shane smile, and Shane will always listen to Emily's stories and ramblings on about her hobbies.

Maru and the Mullner family get along very well. She - of course - works at the clinic, her shifts sometimes lining up during George and Evelyn's appointments, and has built items to help with accessibility and independence for the family members. Whether it be wheelchair lifts on staircases around town, a machine to grab items off high shelves, or even just a nicer remote control, she uses her technology skills to help them out. She also helps Alex with nutrition and meal planning, and possibly exercise routines as well! She doesn't look for payment for most of the things she does but is often invited around to the Mullners' for dinner (or for some of Evelyn's famous cookies!)

Harvey and Caroline meet up for tea on a regular basis. Caroline was worried that Harvey doesn't take enough time to relax, and invited him for tea after an aerobics class. Though Harvey does, of course, prefer coffee, he enjoys the hot tea, as well as the company of Caroline. They decide to make it a routine, and both are able to calm down and de-stress over their teatimes together.

Elliott cares deeply for Vincent, and gets along well with Sam as well. The two men bond over writing and music, at the library and on the beach. And when Sam and Vincent come to the beach during the summer, Elliott visits during his breaks. Vincent loves the stories that Elliott tells (and sometimes writes) him about the Valley, the sea, and all sorts of wonderful characters and adventures. And Elliott sees himself in Vincent's curious, outdoorsy nature.

Willy and Kent spend a good deal of time fishing together. Sometimes in silence, sometimes chatting about life. Each has a different type of history, a different type of pain, and a different type of wisdom to share, and they know instinctually what the other needs to hear that day. The two get along swimmingly because of that.

Linus has given foraging advice / tips to Leah in the past, especially when she first arrived in the valley. She did know a good amount about foraging prior to her move (specifically how not to, you know, die immediately), but Linus taught her about what is most available in the valley, and where. Leah brings some foraged items up the mountain to share a meal with her foraging mentor now and then.

#krenenbaker's :) #sdv #stardew valley #sdv headcanons #stardew valley headcanons #I just love thinking about how these people interact! they live in a very small place so they *must* interact in ways the farmer isn't awar #I have another post to transfer from my old sdv blog which is a Halloween post (scheduled for October!) #from takecare-fandoms

[shibaraki]

Kenma sighs as he sinks back into his chair, padded with cushions and shaped around his frame. He can hear you moving around while you get ready, calling his name absentmindedly as you go, a little quiet given the distance from one side of the house to the other.

About an hour from now he’d be surrounded by investors and board members and journalists and— it doesn’t bear thinking about. The only thing mitigating his stress is the knowledge that you would be by his side this time, naturally guiding conversations and covering for all the things he lacks.

His expression pinches at the tight fit of his suit. According to the tailor it was perfect, like a second skin he’d said, and a second skin it was — that of Kozume Kenma, CEO of Bouncing Ball LTD. He was more than great at his job, but the keeping up of faux appearances had always been exhausting to him.

The press of the shirt collar around his neck seems to tighten through the strength of imagination. He hooks his finger into it and pulls, the fabric moving away from his skin with ease, yet he still feels strangled. The only part of the outfit he truly loved was his tie, and that was because Maru had picked it out for him hours before.

It’d been your idea, something to lift his spirits and make the suit feel a little more like home. You’d lined up all his ties on the bed — ranging from expensive and formal to cheap and novelty — and deposited the cat into the middle. After a few minutes of scenting and deliberation, Maru had chosen a more casual necktie with a subtle floral print that Kenma had worn to your last birthday party. Maybe it still smelt like the two of you.

Perceptive as ever, Maru peers up at him from the floor beneath his desk. Shrouded in shadow, all he could see was two big green eyes. The small feline chirps as she’s noticed, the sounds catching on the loud purrs vibrating in her throat, and Kenma leans forward to sit her on his lap.

Her weight and her warmth tend well to the anxiety in his chest. He probably shouldn’t be letting her knead against his stomach even with her claws filed down, knowing she could poke holes into the shirt regardless, but if changing meant prolonging the inevitable he might even give her a treat for the trouble.

Gently, Kenma strokes a finger along the top of Maru’s head, tucking it behind her ear to scratch at the sweet spot that sits there and smiling as she leans into it. “My pretty girl,” he mumbles in the quiet solitude of his gaming room, “if only you could come with us. You’d hog all the attention for me, wouldn’t you?”

“I’m getting kinda jealous over here”.

Inhaling sharply as he’s startled, Kenma glances over to the doorway and finds your silhouette standing beneath it. His sight adjusts to the light and his lips part slightly with the slack of his jaw once he sees the full ensemble.

“What do you think?” you ask. Your hand clenches and unfurls at your side briefly, a nervous habit he recognises but hasn’t seen in quite a while. Working through his own turmoil he’d forgotten something important — tonight would be a first for you.

“Do we have to go?” he says, the corner of his mouth lifting at the fond exasperation that passes over your features in your gradual approach.

“I think you look beautiful,” he continues as you wheel his chair further away from the desk, spinning it on the axis to face you, “I also think we should stay home so you can sit on my dick while I play Elden Ring”.

“Kenma,” you stress the word for emphasis but he hears the strain, sees the moment you wet your lips, “you have to go. It’s your company”.

Maru, in all her betrayal, wails her agreement. He slips his fingers through her fur, firmly patting the space just before the base of her tail as her hind legs lift up. “I know…” he breathes, shifting her from his thighs to set her back on the floor “…we’ll go”.

Getting to his feet, you meet him halfway and frown, reaching to sort his collar and undo the top button. “You’re going to choke yourself,” you step back to look over the rest of him, brushing away Maru’s stray hairs, “you’re completely covered. Let me just go get the lint roller”.

“Wait,” before you’re able to move away his arm wraps around your waist and he presses a long kiss to your temple, “promise we’ll leave early?”

You relent pleasantly quickly, “I promise”.

#hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #kenma x reader

[unnocturnal]

alright so i have a little HEADCANON im sorry this is messy

CW: FAMILIAL DEATH

what if sebastian was in his dads custody after they got divorced. and later so robin and demetrius get together and have maru. but then suddenly his dad dies so he has to go live with robin. which fuels sebastians hesitance to get closer with demetrius because he was essentially thrown into seeing this guy he barely knew as his new dad when his JUST died and hes scared of getting close because he doesn’t wanna replace his OG dad so he comes up w petty reasons to hate demetrius… and demetrius recognizes this and decides to keep his distance bcs thats what sebastian looks like he wants and he wants to respect his son’s wishes!! but it just turns into a feedback loop of misunderstandings and maybe along the way demetrius recognizes this as well and is like hey, this is kind of not working, do you wanna talk? do you need help? but sebastian is stubborn and still doesnt like him… it explains why he doesn’t mention him in his dialogue since he honestly doesn’t know him that well but WISHES he did and he gushes about maru bcs duh ur child is interested in the same field of work u r how can u not be excited and ALSO shes a woman of color in the stem field so obvi she’s a fucking chad for that AND GUESS WHAT ELSE TIES INTO MY LIL HC SO seb doesnt like maru because he’s jealous that she still has her father figure in her life and that her life is perfect because her parents are still together, she’s smart and pretty and friendly and basically the Epitome of everything sebastian WISHED he had so ofc hes gonna be mean to her ab it and it also explains why its mostly one sided cuz maru wants to get close to him but sebastian is just bein a lil shit thinking emoji 🤔

#lucian babbles #headcanons #hcs #sdv #stardew valley #sebastian stardew valley #maru stardew valley #demetrius stardew valley #robin stardew valley #long post #idk #wall of text #yeah guess whos tired of ppl thinking demetrius is a oiece of shit dad #me. IM TIRED #HES LITERALLY SO SUPPORTIVE OF MARU

[simp-ly-writes]

Pottery Date

Pairing: Stardew Valley Harvey x Reader

Summary: On you regulatory date night, things become not so regular after all...

Warnings: Harvey getting inside his own head (rest assured, he is assured). Hinted at private events...

A/N: the events that made the handmade mug in this fic: "So This Is Love".

Masterlist | Taglist | un-edited.

Imagine… Harvey and you having your usual date night, a nice home-cooked meal with your grown produce, the best bottle of wine from the cellar and a lit fireplace in the dining room. Yet Harvey was becoming gradually more worried that you have been growing bored from these meals and possibly even... bored of him.

So your husband went to brainstorm, using his old apartment as his base of operations; he made calls to old friends in university, asked around the couples of the town and finally settled upon a date. Everything was planned except your attendance and the town keeping it a secret...

--

The days couldn't go by slow enough, and finally it was Saturday night. Harvey sat in a more casual outfit: a pair of straight fit jeans with a simple shirt, paired his classic brown belt accompanied with his favorite pair of duck patterned socks that Evelyn knitted for him.

His knee bounced anxiously as he sat down explaining to Maru on how to care for the children. She reassured him that they were in more than capable hands; the door swung open and caught both their eyes.

You were hanging up the last of your gear and closed the door with the sole of your boot. Smiling at them both, you grabbed a mug form the table and poured yourself a cup, leaning your arm over Harveys shoulder and kissing his cheek in greeting. You smiled warmly at Maru as you made your way upstairs to say goodnight to your kids.

Harvey made a last deep breath and started to throw on his coat as Maru headed into the living room wishing him a goodnight on her way through the house. You came back down soon after and looked confused towards your husband.

He had been acting weirdly recently, more secluded than his usual introverted personality... You thought to yourself.

Harvey smiled towards you and motioned for you to get dressed to go back outside as well. Nodding along you followed in his footsteps out the house, into the town square and up the path to the community centre. It was getting late and you were becoming more concerned as to what your husband had planned up his sleeve.

Holding the door open for you, the indoor warmth invited you into the room. Harvey took you coat and then hung up his own to then lead you further into the community centre. There you smelt food wafting in from the shared kitchen and the sounds of glasses clinking and laughter coming from down the hall.

Going into the crafts room, you soon found yourself face to face with all the couples of the valley, as your own partner wrapped his arms around your waist and whispered surprise in your ear.

Smiling from ear to ear, you picked up two wine glasses for the both of you and made your way further into the room. A few glasses and laughs later, a stranger then moved into the centre of the room. And that is when you noticed all the pottery wheels set upon the back wall.

You turned swiftly on your heels to wag your finger and smile widely at your husband that only shrugged and laughed at your reaction before turning to finish his conversation with Evelyn and George.

--

The lesson soon started with yours and Harvey's hands working together, moulding and shaping the clay, and your feet set the speed to the rotating table. You could feel Harvey placing small kisses from your shoulder up to your neck and chin; as you became gradually less focused on the clay... it ended up with it sliding and covering you both!

From head to toe, you both bursted out laughing and ended up running off towards the bathroom together; washing yourselves off in the tight space, while holding one another near; heats and souls combined into one as you whisper into his ear, know that no amount of breakable cups and plates can amount to the love I hold for you and you alone.

--

You both eventually settled your clothing to return back to the communal room, blushing madly in doing so. And by the end of the night, with many glasses of wine drank and a few too many charcuterie boards plowed through... you ended with a table set of mugs, plates and bowls to use in your entwined future.

#stardew valley harvey #sdv harvey #sdv harvey x farmer #sdv harvey x reader #harvey stardew valley #stardew harvey #stardew valley #stardew valley fanfic #harvey x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #simp-ly-writes #simp-ly

[subwaytostardew]

Did someone say Skull Cavern death? It really would be interesting to see, cause of how much more serious it is, I think Ingo would cry finding out the player nearly died. Have you guys thought of the dialogue for it, if so, could we see it?

We actually didn't start on writing anything for it until you sent this ask! This is what we settled on for their finished events!

Progress commentary and first draft for Ingo's event under the readmore!

▷ Station Steward Thylak

Along the way, we realized that the Skull Cavern death uses the same generic hospital cutscene as getting killed anywhere else (so... it shares severity with the slimes in the secret woods and bombing yourself too many times on your farm. I was bombing myself to death in my house for testing!).

This resulted in Kade and I having to revise Ingo's event to be less situation-specific quite a few times. Emmet was fine! His focused entirely on his distress at needing to take the player to the hospital in the first place.

Ingo, however... revolved more around the absurdity of the situation and Ingo tutting the player for spelunking in the Skull Cavern.

▲ Skull Cavern Death - First Draft ▲

The scene is at first a black screen – text box (non speaker indication one) 

Are you sure their cab is alright Dr. Harvey? They have not woken up yet! 

The scene then opens to the hospital, The farmer has woken up and sees Ingo nerviously talking to Harvey. Who is trying his best to settle Ingo’s anxieties. 

[Harvey] They’ll be alright, Ingo. @ just needs to rest and recover. Just like you have to yourself. I don’t know where in the valley you retrieved them from. But you're lucky to have found them. 

[Ingo] A-ah…. You see Dr. Harvey I found them by — 

Ingo at this point noticed the farmer awake. 

His voice raises in volume causing Harvey to flinch and cover his ears.   

Above Ingo’s head. YOU’RE AWAKE! 

[Ingo] ARE YOU ALRIGHT @?! I found you unconscious, collapsed on sand by the Desert! 

Above Harvey’s head – The Desert?! 

[Ingo] The creatures coming from the cave were about to cause irreparable harm to your cab! Myself and Chandelure managed to fend them off – albeit – I-I may have…. made a bit of a blunder or two trying to retrieve you while she focused on driving the creatures back into that cave….. 

Above Harvey’s head as he paces a bit upset at the farmer - of all places! 

[Ingo] You have made me greatly worried…. @. I thought I was too late to assist you. Chandelure was…. concerned as well… if we did not arrive here to this station in a timely manner…. 

I’m afraid of what the future tracks could have look like. 

[Ingo] BUT! YOU ARE ALRIGHT! AND THAT IS A RELIEF! Please! Conduct your safety checks more thoroughly. I would like to see you come back home safely! 

[Harvey] Yes @ please do. Of all places! And don’t think you’re getting away scot free from this either, Ingo! Going into such places…..  The mines outside of town are one thing. But the Desert?!?! That’s miles out of town!! 

[Ingo] Aaah….. my apologies… Dr. Harvey. 

[Harvey] *Sigh* What’s done is done….. No use having an argument over this. Rest. Recover. The both of you….. 

Now I’ll be leaving you two to do that while I go and sort out your medical records. If you need anything. Flag down myself or Maru. 

[Ingo] Thank you…. Dr. Harvey for keeping our cabs well in order and maintained. I do not know what the valley would do without your insights – even if we disagree on some aspects. 

Above Harvey’s head – Just rest.

He exits the room. 

[Farmer] I’m sorry. 

[Ingo] I am just glad that you are alive and well @. Now while we are staying here for a while…. WHAT IN DRAGONS AND ARCEUS’S NAME COMPELLED YOU TO GO TO SUCH A PLACE!?!?! 

The Farmer spends the rest of recovery… talking about their adventure in skull cavern.

*Gasp* What this? A draft?! Yup.. this is how I type out and do my event dialog and draft work. Since Thylak here has to code in the scenes, I make sure to give a visual description of what is going on, how characters are feeling etc.

So I follow a format that is

Scene text

[Character A] Dialog

[Character B] Dialog

Scene text

Any dialog that has to be above the head - As it is coded a certain way - Has to be limited in characters. (Cause too long of a dialog bubble causes issues) I note which character is saying.

When I also write out these dialog scripts I basically think of it like a comic book or an anime scene. My head is just playing movies non-stop!

Kade is great at writing scripts! They're so fun and expressive! Whenever I draft anything, it ends up being a wall of dialogue... Her descriptions remind me to add emotes or move the characters around more.

The draft also kinda showcases how Harvey as a character acts towards the twins, he is a caring individual, does he like Pokémon? He is mostly uneasy about them but that's because he knows how dangerous they can be. (and if you played PLA it ramps up the dangers of Pokémon attacks and moves) So really he tolerates their antics with Pokémon and treats them like he would everyone else in the valley..

For the most part... they agree to disagree. Submas themselves are a little stubborn and get on Harvey's nerves. They try their best to not go to the hospital mostly because they don't want to deal with each other (which is fine... more reason for them to conduct their safety checks!). With the finalized draft, I tried to show how each twin downplays their conditions and make Harvey's job more difficult. They both don't say anything about their problems... Talking is stressful enough for Emmet. Ingo talks a lot, but his concern for the player and adrenaline from the situation distracts him for the most part. They both don't want their own injuries to make Harvey sidetracked from treating the player! But... they'll get nagged in the end anyways.

Being a nag and making sure you're healthy and keeping up to date on things. He's a good Dr! (Totally not bias cause Harvey is my go to vanilla bachelor....)

Unfortunately with how the game is coded and how deaths are — (unless there is a way to code separate death events in) I had to coordinate with Thylak and revise the script, but also change the tone of it too where it is more serious. The twins don't know what happens to you, you could have gotten seriously hurt or pass out who knows. They just saw you and knew to bring you to the hospital. (Because the farmer character is completely insane for going into the mines or secret forest or carrying.. bombs of ALL THINGS!)

As far as I know, there isn't a way to seperate the deaths outside of the one in the mines (you would think that the Skull Cavern would have its own cutscene considering that it's like... the mines but worse). I tried to make the tone more serious for them but... Ingo's just kept ending up silly for some reason (poor Emmet is miserable though). We cut out a lot of lines for Ingo and Harvey nagging the farmer for their recklessness and questioning them, but figured they would catch up with each other while the farmer is unconcious (Ingo has a tendency to ramble after all...).

Also Ingo and Emmet kinda know the valley isn't really all that safe either. They just have their Pokémon with them. Which, if you seen Emmet's 4 heart event... they needed some help with the slimes.

Creatures in the valley are unpredictable cause no one knows if they are or aren't Pokémon or a completely new thing in general it's up to interpretation. (Stardew Valley is such a strange place...)

Either way, Ingo's did have to be revised.... considering Emmet is just too upset to even speak. Ingo is just a run away train with worry.

We also found out that the death scenes don't randomize between the twins... I was wondering if Emmet was just really clingy or not (it's both). There's a reason why the mod I used as reference is called "Spouses React to Player Death", you're locked into a character!

Which twin you pick is the twin you get in a playthrough (of course, you can see the other's events by divorcing one for the other but um... You could also just make a new file instead since that's a little cruel.) Since Ingo's mines death is more serious in tone than Emmet's, I suppose it balances out how the seriousness/sillyness is flipped in the hospital event (Emmet's just complaining about how he doesn't want to go to the hospital if you die in the mines...)

Also with my draft work when I send it off or share it with Thylak, he has to double check some grammer, spelling. There are sometimes even things I couldn't think up on right on the spot he puts in as well, whether it be a train term or even a tonale shift with a line change.

I try my best to make the dialogue fit! Of course... I do miss a lot of grammar and become numb to the dialogue when playtesting. ^^; So events and such do go through corrections even after recording a progress video!

Sometimes I get so caught up in storytelling I forget the game has limits... also.

But hey it's fun. I could talk about this for ages. I'm rambling again. Woops.

Thank you for reading!

#mail car connecting line #subway to stardew #subway to stardew terminal station #submas #pokemon #stardew valley #sdv mods #Ingo #Emmet #events #Emmet: Nonverbal #Ingo: LET'S TAKE IBUPROFEN TOGETHER