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#'at the same time i wanna hug you i wanna wrap my hands around your neck - you're an asshole and i love you'
rebelcap · 9 months ago
We are not just friends — Part 16
Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)
Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  
Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 
This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 
Series masterlist
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She didn't even look at him, just took another drag of the cigarette her hands were shaking. God, she didn't want to do this at all.
Chris sighed and walked up to her, maintaining his distance and Sofia looked up to him, locking eyes for a moment and everything came rushing for them.
"Hi," Sofia mumble and looked down again, putting one arm over her chest. "What's up?"
Chris chuckles and leans on beside her, putting his hand out for the cigarette and she gives it to him.
"Nothing, really," He said shrugging.
"You sure about that?" She quickly asked and absolutely regretted asking him that. Sofia chuckle. "Forget about it."
"I tried," Chris spoke putting the cigarette on his month. "And I can't get over you—
"Stop," Sofia quickly interrupted him shaking her head making Chris snap his head at her. "You shouldn't even be speaking to me."
"Why? it's always the same with you. You never want to speak with me, always shutting me out at whatever thing you feeling. I can't be open with you, never."
"This is about you repeating a behavior, as usual. Came to a party with some other bitch and here you are, talking with your ex whatever." Sofia said and looked at him. "Those this whole scenario doesn't feel like a fucking Deja Vu?"With that he remembered, she was right and he shook his head.
"It's not the same,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, because I wasn't in love with her—
"Still, you bring her here knowing that I'm here. Witch, it's worse. What the fuck is your point? are you trying to hurt me?" She asked eyes getting glossy. "to prove me something?"
"She wasn't even supposed to be here,"
"She's still here."
"I'm not trying to hurt you," Chris said raising his voice a little. "I don't wanna hurt you, ever."
Sofia was shaking as her heart was jumping on her chest, she had so much shit to say to him. There were so many things on her chest.
"I know I said a bunch of crap to you, that u shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry for that, I lashed out at you and it was my fault because I'm an asshole." She grabbed the cigarette from his hand. "I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry."
"I know you are, I haven't been easy with you either, I know I just wanna do things fast all the time and I was too selfish, I'm sorry I stop speaking with you,"
"It just backfired," Sofia sighed, feeling her throat tighten. "All my doubts, the feelings I was trying to repress. Everything that I was trying to avoid by keeping you at arms lengths, it just…" Sofia wipes her tears quickly. "I didn't want to fall in love with you, I didn't want to be vulnerable because I'm scared of people that I care about leaving me. So, I pull shit like this all the time, not only with you. Mostly I don't care because I can manage on my own, but with you…"
"Sofia," Chris said softly but she didn't acknowledge him, just keet looking at her hands, millions of things going through her head. She didn't even know where to start.
"All that I think about it's you, even when I feel like maybe I'm getting better, maybe I'm gonna be me again—boom, Chris, Chris would have laughed at that, Chris would love this, I wish Chris would be here, Chris Chris Chris," Sofia explained.
"I feel that way too," Chris mumbled. "It's unhealthy how much I can't be without you."
"And it sucks, doesn't it?" Sofia mumble again. "I hate the hold you have in me, I hate that it bothers me so much that you were holding her hand when I saw you. It really hurt, I felt actual pain on my chest."
"She's…" Chris sighed. "it's not serious with her, we are just… We've dated before, very briefly."
"You don't have to explain anything to me, in fact, I think the one that probably needs an explanation it's her," Sofia said getting off the wall and extinguish the cigarette on the wall.
"She knows," Chris said looking up, trying to get her to look at him but she was just avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry I bring her, it was a dick move."
"Yeah, it was." She sighed again and finally looked at him. God, he was so fucking beautiful, she just wanted to reach out and touch him. "You're a good man, Chris." Sofia bit her lip, barely containing the tears. "I'm sorry I'm too fucked up—
"You're not fucked up," He reaches out and grabbed her hands, Sofia was too weak to pull away. "Look at me," He spoke softly to her and she did. "You're not fucked up, not for me, not for everyone. You're an amazing woman, outspoken, proud of who you become against your shortcomings. You deserve patience," He said wiping a tear that fell on her cheek.
"I hurt you and you're here praising my ass. You're crazy," She said and Chris laughed, pulling her even closer.
"Yeah, crazy about you." He said sliding his hand on her arms, she was cold. "as I was saying, you're amazing, you deserve all the time in the word and I wanna give you that."
Sofia looked at him, trying to find that but there wasn't. "You still wanna be with me?"
"Yeah, I never stopped wanting that. I never wanted it to end," He nods, grabbing her hands as she looked down at their fingers.
"I'm scared,"
"I know, honestly… me too," Chris shrugged. "But I don't wanna end this because of that, you're worth it."
"I don't wanna think about this now," She sighed still looking down at their hands. "Not when she's… here and it's Mandy and Luke party, we shouldn't out of respect for all of them." Sofia took a step back and pull her hands out of his.
"Yeah, you're right…" Chris sighed, rubbing his beard. "I'll speak with her, let her know and then we'll talk. What you think about that?"
"Okay," She nods looking at the door. "I should," She pointed at it.
"Me too," He said and bit his lip before she could even make it to the door. Chris grabbed her and plant a kiss on her lips, Sofia felt her knees buckle and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"God, I've missed you," Sofia said against his lips.
"I love you," He mumbles back and she just kissed him deeply. Chris pulled her close and Sofia just felt weak, she wanted him so much all the time.
"We shouldn't be doing this," She mumbles, and Chris sigh, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"I know," Chris said. "I know we have to talk things first, figure it out… I just, can't help myself"
Sofía smile and hugged him and they stood there for a little while. Just hug it out for the time being.
"So she left," Scott told Chris as soon he rejoined him, Chris frown and let Scott elaborate. "With some very attractive gentleman, said she's gonna pick up her luggage in the morning,"
Chris made a face but couldn't be bothered, actually, this was pretty good… considering he just was kissing the actual woman he wanted to be with.
"And you have lipstick all over your mouth," Scott pointed out hiding a smile. "You two finally talk."
"A little," Chris said looking at Sofia who was happily dancing with Amanda's dad. He smiles at the scene, "We agree that we're going to figure it out."
"Fucking finally, mom's dying to meet her." Scott smiled as he affectionately punches his arm making Chris laugh.
"I'm telling you this, I'm going to marry the fuck out of her someday."
"Yeah, mom's gonna love her as we do." Scott smile.
Sorry I took so long!
Tag list:
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everyhowlmarksthedead · 10 months ago
Nestor Oceteva x Reader
Anon asked: What about rough sex with Nestor in Miguel’s house? He makes you stay quiet and fucks you in the bathroom because he couldn’t wait to get you homeee ahhhh i love nestor
Word Count: 1.9k
Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘
Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits: @angels-reyes​.
Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​ 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)
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Taking a last look in the mirror, turning on the high-heels, you sigh. You're pretty nervous 'cause finally Nestor is gonna introduce you to his boss, and also his best friend, Miguel. You want to make a good impression and you're not sure about the dress you chose, but you don't have time to change your outfit. So, going downstairs with shaky hands, you find your boyfriend waiting for you at the hall. He looks at you from top to down. Hundred times. You're doubting.
“What? Is that bad?” You ask with trembling voice.
Looking down and moving the skirt, you raise your gaze at him. The golden and sparkle dress is falling on you like a cascade with a pronounced neckline and bare back, with your long and curly hair place on it. You know it was a bad idea dressing something like that, but guessing that being Miguel's birthday the assistant should be ‘important’ people. Nestor doesn't say anything, till you're about to talk.
“You're fuckin' stunning”. He says walking towards you, holding and lifting one of your hand to make you go a full turn. “You're fuckin' beautiful, baby”.
His words makes you smile, leaning closer to kiss him softly. Offering you an arm, and taking it, he guides you to the car opening you the door. Even if he does what he does, when you two are together his attitude changes completely. You have seen him working, more or less, escorting Miguel's wife or his mother, and he looks so serious that sometimes surprises you when he laughs watching some tv-show with you lying on the sofa. 
Placing one hand on your leg, Nestor drives to the luxurious house of the boss Cartel, knowing the road by heart. Some music is playing in the car, trying to focus your mind on the lyrics, so you don't think about Miguel believing you're not enough for his brother.
“He will loves you”. He says, staring at you for a second. “And if he doesn't do, I love you and that's all it matters”.
You nod biting your inner lip, before licking it feeling somewhat relaxed, putting a hand on his nape to leave some caresses. You love him too, since the first moment you met. And your parents do too. They're delighted with Nestor.
Some minutes after, you finally arrive to the house, decorated according to the celebration, with a lot of people reunited at the entrance next to their own cars. Porsche, Maserati, BMW (...). God, you're enjoying the views as the good mechanic you are. It's like if you were a child on a candy store. Your boyfriend parks next to a black Cadillac, walking faster to your door so he can helps you to go out of it. Then he guides you to the front door, being greeted by some men, recognizing them as politician. Shit, your legs are shaking. 
“Brother!” Miguel walks towards you, hugging him and palming his back very lively.
“Are you already drunk, Mikey?” He laughs loud, infesting the older.
“No, not yet!” He shakes his head before turning to you. “Man, you won the lottery or something like, ah? Miguel Galindo, a pleasure”.
The boss Cartel holds your hand, pressing his lips on the back.
“Finally we meet”. He says then.
“Yeah, ahm... (Y/N), a pleasure too. Nestor talks a lot about you”. You reply with a kindly smile on your lips. 
“I hope only good things”.
“I actually told her you're a pain in the ass”.
“My father used to say the same, but here I am!” He laughs. And you're sure he's a little drunk. “Let's have a drink. I'm gonna introduce you to my lovely wife”.
You nod whilst Nestor tangles your fingers with yours, leaving a kiss on your cheek. It isn't that bad as you thought. Till a blonde woman hugs your man so dearly that makes you feel jealous. Just a little. 
“Hi! I'm Emily!” Now, you feel stupid when she hugs you too so happy to meet you. “So you're the one who stole Nestor' heart... I understand him”.
“Yes, more or less”. You chuckles, supporting your temple against his shoulder for a second.
“She's my wife”. Miguel says then, giving her a gently kiss.
“Come with me, it's kinda boring when they talk about business, even if they're not working”. Poisoned words covered by a friendly smile.
The woman grabs your hand, saying ‘bye’ with the other whilst she walks towards the swimming pool outside, having a seat on the garden sofa. Your gaze is traveling all around the place, really surprised about how huge the house is. You're sure you could get lost inside it. Miguel's wife serves you a glass of red wine, offering it with a smile.
“I was lookin' forward to meet you”. She says then.
“Yeah, me too. Nestor talks about you sometimes and I think we're similar”.
“Right? I told him!” You can't help but laugh cheering with both wines.
“It's good to have someone with I can complain about him”. Emily nods and laugh again because of your words.
“Yes... I feel you. Sometimes Miguel drives me crazy and not in the way I would enjoy it”. She says rolling his eyes and rubbing his forearm. “By the way, your dress is amazing. Where did you buy it?”
“Oh, ahm... My mom did it. It's her job”. You answer looking down for a second, before have a sip of the wine. “Don't you... think is ‘too much’? I was nervous about meeting ‘Nestor brother’”.
“What? Oh, no, no. It's perfect. And about my husband, you don't have to worry about. He gives an impression that it really is not”.
┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅
You're not sure how much time has passed by, nor how much wine you have drunk talking with Emily between laughs and complainings, when both men going outside have a seat next to you two.
“Having fun, uh?” Miguel asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Yep”. You nod, looking at your boyfriend with a goofy smile.
“I need to talk' you”. He whispers on your ear, making feel nervous from nowhere. He looks serious and it's not a good omen.
So, leaving your glass on the table and getting up holding his arm, you say goodbye for a few minutes. Crossing the big door to inside, you walk through the assistants worried and thinking that maybe Miguel said something about you. Now, you're about to cry making your own guesses in silence. Going upstairs, Nestor opens the door of a bathroom letting you come in.
“It's... everything ok? I'm sorry if I said som—”.
Before you're allowed to finish the sentence, he kisses you. You breathe heavy surrounding his neck with both arms, while he pushes you to the counter lifting you on.
“You scared me, asshole...” You grumble against his mouth.
“Yea', I know, it was kinda fun...” He laughs raising the skirt of your dress, nailing his hands tightly on your skin, touring your thighs till he finds the waistband of your panties.
“Nestor, they will hear us”. You try to say, with your hands moving faster to unzip the black pants of the suit.
“That's the game, babe. You have to be silent”. You know you can't. Not with him. Your boyfriend knows every weak point of your body, and how to push you to the sky. “Shit... It's 'cause you look so fuckin' hot I can't control myself”.
His lips travel to your neck, biting and sucking your skin being careful to not draw any bruise on it. You know how passionate he can be sometimes, and you always enjoy it, but you're ashamed of thinking that someone could hear you. He doesn't care. Not at all. And he's pretty hard when he spreads your legs to place his body into them.
“Let's see if you can be silent”. Nestor says challenging you with his gaze, pounding you with all his strength.
You're faster, covering your mouth with a hand and closing hard your eyes, containing a loud moan. You wrap his waist with both legs, pushing him deeper hitting your wetness once and again with the same pressure.
“Shit, babe... I love your pussy... It's so fuckin' tight, so fuckin' damp, my love...”. He gasps on your ear, drowning there his own growls.
“It's all yours, papi”. You say then, looking for his lips to sink your tongue between them till you find his.
It's a easy way to drown your moans and your curses, with every stroke making you squirm on his arms. The kiss goes filthy and rampant, heating your whole body and bristling your skin. You love him. So much. And even if sex it's not more important than that, he makes you feel you're in heaven with every hit rubbing your clit. The only thing you expect is that he doesn't ruin your outfit or it's gonna be even more embarrassing.
“Fuc'me harder, Nestor...” You beg almost huffing, knowing that you're close.
Wrapping tightly your legs and pushing him into you when he pounds you, drowning all your moans with your face sink on his neck, your boyfriend takes it as a command. He doesn't stop and he's not gonna do it till make you cum on his hard cock, making him feel proud to please you.
“My baby girl...” He groans chuckling, biting his neck softly as you can keep silent when you hear some steps outside walking closer.
You have to cover your mouth at the exact moment your body find the ecstasy, with his name stuck in your lips. It feels amazing. You kiss him, silencing some sobs of pleasure before he pull himself out, complaining about it.
“Kneel, my love”. He asks you, helping you to go down as he wants.
With a naughty smile on your face and letting him place his hands on your head, you leave a long lick with the toe of your tongue all over his cock, covered by your own taste. He pushes it into your mouth, groaning because of your warm breath wrapping his hardness. Nestor sets the pace, fucking your mouth with his head tilted back slightly. He thrusts your throat, keeping his glans pressing it for a second, before continue hitting it.
“You're like a fuckin' fantasy, holy fuck...” He mutters as he can, trying not to talk loud.
He fills your mouth without expecting, with a soft contained growl whilst you swallow without him asking for it. Your tongue runs all over his size, enjoying every gesture of his face, when he can't handle anything else. Nestor helps you to get up, before clean yourself and getting your clothes well on. He kisses you again more dearly, with his fingers caressing your back so lovely that makes you sigh.
“'Am not gonna do it now, but... wanna know what Mikey said 'bout you?” He asks then, from nowhere interrupting the needy kiss. You're not sure if you want to know it. “That I should marry you”.
Your heart stops for a second, pursing your lips because of the surprise.
“Would you like, uh? I mean, I'm not proposing you. Not now. That should be more special, than do it after fucking you in my boss' bathroom”. You laugh in silence, shaking your head full of lively.
“Yes, I would like”. You answers then, putting his tie on and smoothing the shirt with both hands.
“‘K, I'll keep it in mind”.
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t-amajiki · 11 months ago
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taglist: @dorkyama
akaashi is the type of boy that gets away with everything because of his good looks and wits. 
you wouldn't have imagined that he was a fuckboy. i mean, honey, he looks like an angel 😔
anyways, you meet him in college. he's your seatmate in your literature class. 
one day, he asked you for an extra pen and you gave him just that. 
he makes an effort to make you talk everyday and even goes far to giving you gifts. 
he walks you to your next class and even pats your head when he says goodbye. 
he asks for your number and puts a little “❤️” at the end of your name. 
you're like, “oh, maybe he actually likes me.”
he shows signs that he is genuinely interested in you. 
you feel appreciated and love. 
until, one day, he stops doing everything he does to make you feel loved.
he doesn't show up in class anymore, he doesn't text back, and whenever you'd call, it would go straight to voice mail. 
at first you're confused, maybe he's busy? you would try to convince yourself but it still stays within your mind everytime. 
as you walk with your friends to your next class, you spot him leaning against the wall. 
your heart flutters as you debate whether you should walk up to him or–
suddenly a girl appears in front of him. 
your 😃 becomes ☹️
akaashi smiles at her, the same smile that he would give to you, and walks with her to her next class. 
“(name)? what's wrong?” nishinoya asked, looking at the direction you were looking at. 
he was about to pounce on akaashi but you stopped him, shaking your head at your friend. 
“it's fine. it was bound to happen. should've listened to you when i had the chance.”
spoiler: it was not fine. 
akaashi went on with his fuckboy ways, bringing this new girl a bento every now and then. 
but then, he would always put your favorite dish in it – to which this girl was allergic to. 
“akaashi, you know i'm allergic to this.”
huh? then who used to steal mine whenever i would bring her this? he taps his feet. 
the bento is neatly wrapped again as he looks around for that certain girl. 
for you. 
he's looking for you. 
you always had that gleam in your eyes that tugged his heartstrings. 
of course it was new to him. he hadn't felt that in a long time and he was afraid. 
he walks into class again, the one he has with you but he couldn't find you. 
it goes on for a week – no signs of you in the classroom nor in the halls. 
he was freaking the fuck out. 
he wanted to text you but that would make him look like an asshole for ghosting you and then coming back again. 
oh, who was he kidding? he is an asshole. 
highkey feels bad, lowkey feels like he's not going to see you again. 
as he walks into the campus, he spots your friend, nishinoya. 
he sprints towards him and taps his shoulder. nishinoya looks towards him and glares. 
yeah, he knows what's up. 
“where's (name)?” 
nishinoya clenched his hands into fists. 
this fucker had the audacity to ghost you and now he's– 
nishinoya smiles wickedly. 
“(name)? ah, i heard she was transferring schools today.”
akaashi froze as nishinoya continued, “i think she's still at the train station as we speak but it'll be hard to catch u–” akaashi runs out of the campus. 
nishinoya laughs, running a hand through his hair. 
“i'm, like, the best wing man there is.”
akaashi runs towards the train station – walking pass the people walking in the opposite direction as him. 
his mind: fuckfuckfuck im not letting her go. not right now. fuckfuckfuck
he spots a familiar (hair-color) blur, passing in front of him and he stops. 
“(name)!” you flinched, looking back to see akaashi standing there. he's panting, sweat trickling down his forehead and neck. 
“please don't go!” he grabs your wrist, blue-ish green eyes looking straight at yours. 
you blush furiously, looking around to see everyone looking at you. 
“but i need to–” he pulls you in a hug. 
“i don't want you to go.”
“i need to go, akaashi. how am i going to finish my project if i don't?” 
you explain to him that you were just picking up a groupmate from the station, they left some materials in their house and so you thought to pick them up while you bought snacks at the store. 
it's also the reason why you haven't showed up to class – your professor already permitted you to be absent from his class, granted that you take the test you missed after the project. 
akaashi: (///∇///)
also akaashi: (;へ:)
and also akaashi at noya: ( `_ゝ´)
you laugh softly, “what made you run here anyways?” 
“nishinoya told me you were transferring schools.”
nishinoya: 1 akaashi: 0
you smile widely, patting his shoulder, “i mean, it's kinda your fault for believing that devil.”
point taken. 
after that, he continues on walking with you and bringing you gifts – this time only with you. 
he apologized to the other girls, only because you told him too. 
and here he was now, sitting in your apartment as you do an assignment. 
“ow.” you pout as you cut your finger on the paper. he laughs, “big baby.” 
you stick your tongue out at him and walk towards the bathroom to get a first aid kit. 
meanwhile, he grabs his phone and emails the teachers why they should just use tablets instead of papers. 
reason one: it made you bleed.
when you come back, he wraps his arms around you and lets you sit on his lap while you do the assignment. 
“(name),” he calls out. 
“do you wanna be my girlfriend?” 
you look at him and he nervously smiles at you. 
“yes! i mean, yes. it's cool. totally cool. i'm not freaking out. do i look like i'm freaking out?” 
he kisses your nose, “you look adorable.”
your heart? flying out of your chest. 
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lefaymorgan · a year ago
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Monster - Beth Crowley
“I sleep all day, I prowl at night, do anything to feel alive. I'm in the end just what you made me. I look the same, but I'm not fine. The master of my own disguise. If you knew the truth, you'd probably hate me. I need a fight, I've got you in my sights, only one of us will make it out alive”
Become the Beast - Karliene
“To capture a predator, you can't remain the prey. You have to become an equal in every way. So look in the mirror and tell me, who do you see? Is it still you?... Or is it me? Become the beast. We don't have to hide. Do I terrify you or do you feel alive?”
Wicked Game - Ursine Vulpine ft. Annaca
“The world was on fire and no one could save me but you. It's strange what desire will make foolish people do. I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you. And I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you. [...] What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way”
In my veins - Andrew Belle
“Nothin' goes as planned. Everything will break. People say goodbye, in their own special way. All that you rely on, and all that you can fake... Will leave you in the morning, but find you in the day. Oh, you're in my veins and I cannot get you out.”
Devil Like You - Gareth Dunlop
“You're guilty, as charged. My soul bares the marks, oh no, I'm just as bad as you are. You are my wicked thrill, I just can't get my fill. Oh no, this kind of living could kill. It's too late, I can't escape. Only a devil like you could make me sin like I do”
Stubborn Love - The Lumineers
“It's better to feel pain than nothing at all. The opposite of love's indifference. So pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out, and I won't leave until you come downstairs. [...] And I don't blame ya dear, for running like you did, all these years. I would do the same, your best believe”
Bang Bang - Nancy Sinatra
“Seasons came and changed the time. When I grew up I called him mine. He would always laugh and say, ‘Remember when we used to play?’ Bang bang, he shot me down. Bang bang, I hit the ground. Bang bang, that awful sound. Bang bang, my baby shot me down”
Kiss With a Fist - Florence and The Machine
“You hit me once, I hit you back. You gave a kick, I gave a slap. You smashed a plate over my head, then I set fire to our bed. My black eye casts no shadow, your red eye sees no blame. Your slap don't stick. Your kicks don't hit. So we remain the same”
White Flag - Bishop Briggs
“Put an X on my chest, on my chest. But I'm still standing 'cause I won't forget the hell on earth you put me through. I'll save myself in spite of you. Smoke, fire, it's all going up. Don't you know I ain't afraid to shed a little blood? Smoke, fire, flares are going up”
Animals - Maroon 5
“So what you trying to do to me? It's like we can't stop, we're enemies. But we get along when I'm inside you. You're like a drug that's killing me. I cut you out entirely, but I get so high when I'm inside you”
Mercy - Bishop Briggs
“You lay me down on a bed of nails, just to pierce a thousand veils. Hands so numb didn't feel the shame, lonely souls they love the pain. So let it run, let it all fall away. You don't give a damn if I leave or I stay, have mercy”
Shelter - Machineheart
“Like an ancient story, full of death and glory, remember who we are. With our eyes wide open, and the doors all closing, surrender to your heart, remember who we are”
Troublemaker - Olly Murs
“Troublemaker, that's your middle name. I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain, and I wanna know. Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad? My mind keeps saying ‘Run as fast as you can’. I say I'm done but then you pull me back. I swear you're giving me a heart attack”
Dynasty - MIIA
“A scar I can’t reverse. And the more it heals, the worse it hurts. Gave you every piece of me, no wonder it’s missing. Don’t know how to be so close to someone so distant. And all I gave you is gone, tumbled like it was stone”
True Love - P!nk
“Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say. Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face. There's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down, I know life would suck without you. At the same time, I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck. You're an asshole but I love you”
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headoverhiddles · a year ago
You're So Vain - Marilyn Manson x Reader [Smut]
Synopsis: You wear a Rob Zombie dress to your boyfriend's double headliner concert. This article of clothing has a certain effect on him, and it’s not good.
Notes: Heaven Upside Down era! I just banged this one out fast (that's what she said) and figured it's passable enough to post. Takes place in the same timeline as "Just For Me." Enjoy the light dom/sub jealous!Manson quickie! ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN HIS NEW HAIR FROM THE OSCARS PARTY??? 
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His eyes meet yours through the mirror as he shadows his eyes. You can tell immediately upon your entrance into the room that he’s not pleased, and you can’t wait to hear why this time. 
"What's that?"
You look at your boyfriend, to see where he's looking now. His eyes are on your clothing. "What do you think it is? It's a dress." 
"Don’t need your attitude. Is that really what you're wearing? For the show?"
You sigh. He always has a way of making you feel special. "Yes." You spin around in your black and red dress, adorned with symbols, splatters and big "Rob Zombie" logos on it. "I think it's perfect, since you're playing the show with Rob, Twins of Evil, yada yada." 
"I'm sure Rob’s going to love that," Manson says in a low voice, and the undertone of irritation does not go unnoticed by you. He sucks in his cheekbones to dust them with a powder puff of blue, and you dissect the darkness in his eyes. You can’t say you didn’t know this was going to happen, when you wore a dress with his co-headliner’s name all over it. You know how possessive your boyfriend can get. 
Provoking? Of course that’s not what you’re trying to do...
You smirk, walking over to smooth your hands down his chest. "Jealous?"
"I’m not jealous. But you've got his name emblazoned over your tits."
"And whose tits are they?"
"The correct answer there would have been "yours," but the jury will accept it."
Manson grumbles some more. "When did you even get it?" 
"I ordered it."
"With my money?"
"Look, I'm supporting my friend. He's in the band."
"In case you don't remember, Ginger was my drummer for 15 years."
"Well, he's not anymore. What do you want me to say?! I'm not gonna wear a dress with you on it! I've got you on my body every other night of the year, I don't need it tonight."
"You don't think I'm going to fuck the shit out of you tonight?" 
"Not at the rate you're going," you tease. 
“Watch yourself.”
“Make me.” It’s a clear invitation, up in the air. 
Manson looks like he's about to literally growl, but turns back to finish his makeup, sulk, and down his three "complimentary" glasses of stadium beer. It’s not worth it to start anything with you ten minutes til showtime, and you have to say, you’re disappointed he doesn’t make a sport of it. 
When your boyfriend goes out on stage first, Zombie's band comes in through the backstage, along with your best friend from when you two worked in Vegas together. "Kenny!" you grin, jumping into his arms. He picks you up in a hug, that drummer strength useful in boosting you up. 
"Ah, (y/n)! Glad you could come on this leg of the tour. I was so excited when I heard we were playing with Manson again, couldn't wait to see you."
"We're definitely meeting under calmer circumstances this time," you smile, arms wrapped around him tight.
He laughs, remembering all the backstage shenanigans from the late 90s touring days with you along for the ride. "Yeah, it's much more chill with Twiggy and Pogo gone. And Manson's toned down a little I guess."
You cock your head. "In a manner of speaking."
"It's kind of nice. It's like we've grown up, you know?"
"I don't think Manson will ever grow up," you laugh. Ginger pulls away to look at your dress, finally noticing it.
"That's super cool... what did he think of it?"
You giggle. "What do you think he thought of it?"
Ginger shakes his head, remembering the fiery look of pure rage his ex boss had given that one guy from the pit at that one concert in 1999. The guy’s never gonna change, I swear.” 
Rob comes in, punching the air. "Ready to fucking ROCK!?”
"Totally!" John calls from a distant room.
"Woah," Rob says, "You must be (y/n). Ginger's told me all about you."
"All bad?"
"Jesus, yeah. Heard about the time you got plowed on stage in '99. Typical Manson. Cool dress." Rob looks at your outfit. "Really cool. Hey, what's up with your bf?"
"What? What about him?"
"He's crashing and burning out there. Crowd's pissed, whiiiich means I'm gonna have to save the show."
"Bad day?"
You sigh, and walk out to the wing. Rob's right. The crowd is practically rioting, and they're not the only ones who are pissed. Manson seems to be out of his mind, singing Kill4Me with a particularly hard edge and apparently a version that skips every third lyric. He then launches into an overly aggressive rendition of The Beautiful People.
You know exactly what this is about.
Rob jostles your shoulder as he prepares to go out, wishing you luck when you should really be the one wishing him luck. Ginger gives you a low five, and you take a deep breath as Manson comes stumbling off stage, makeup trailing down his face and neck from the water he always spits upward.
"Could you be anymore of a child about this whole thing?" you demand, crossing your arms. He points a wavering finger at you, letting the security carry him properly toward the hall.
"Don't. Even."
"Oh, don't what? Don't what? I can't wear a dress now?"
"Wear whatever the fuck you want, I don't care." Piggy D hurries between you two awkwardly to run out on stage.
"You are being such an asshole."
"Whatever. You wanna misinterpret how I... what I'm..."
"I know you, you're jealous."
He shoves the security off, coming back over. "I'm not fucking jealous."
"It's a dress. What, you think I wanna fuck Rob?!"
This time, he does growl. His tall, imposing form advances on you, and despite his debauched appearance, the intense darkness in his eyes is unmistakable for anything other than hunger. Real fear flickers through you for a split second.
"Wanna try that, little girl? Hm?" You shiver, breath quickening, but you've known your boyfriend for far too long, and you're not about to back down now. You want him hard and fast, and it’s your turn to get him back for making you wait.
"Maybe I do," you whisper defiantly. That does it. He tears the straps on your dress. You moan, letting him reach in and grab your thighs, and lift you against the wall with ease, pinning you there. 
"You want me to drag you out on that stage, and fuck you in front of the crowd again?” 
“You only teased me in front of the crowd,” you have the nerve to reply, “You never actually fucked me out there in front of anyone.” Manson holds you by the neck as he roughly marks you down your jawbone. 
“That’s because you're mine," he mutters, hurrying to get his dick out, "You're fucking mine. Only person gets to see these tits, see this pussy? Is me." He leans in to hiss: “Only one who gets to see you gush is me.” 
You can't protest, caught up in a rush of arousal as his stage pants rub dangerously close to your clit. You grind your hips forward, desperately seeking his touch. You’ve never wanted him so bad, his stupid fucking feral expression covered in pink and blue gloss driving you wild. 
"Fuck me," you gasp, not stopping to wonder if the roadies were around or minding their own business.
"Oh, I'm going to, baby," Manson whispers, finally getting himself out of his briefs, "You need to remember who you fuckin' belong to." He tugs your hair back sharply, and sinks his teeth into your shoulder. You scream from the shock of it, and wetness starts to drip down your thigh.
"Ah," you hiss, pussy clenching desperately to be filled, "Do it again."
Manson bites down your flesh to the tips of your nipples, leaving pink marks across your chest. He reaches up, letting your leg fall slightly as he slips two fingers inside you. 
You gasp again, louder this time over the beat of Rob performing Superbeast, and clutch tighter to your handsy boyfriend. He comes back up to suck your neck, nipping slightly at the sensitive spots where he marked you before.
"Fuck me, come on," you chant, “Fuck me like you did that day.” He grabs you again by the neck, dragging you in for a rough, sloppy kiss. A hard pound, and your back hits the wall in rhythm with his body. He doesn't wait for you to adjust, and you both know you don't need him to. He slides in deep, with you very ready to take him, and he pulls back easily before thrusting back in harder, the weight of his body pounding against you heightening the thrusts. His belt buckle jangles with his every movement. 
"How much do you love this cock?”
“I love it, I want it--”
“Can Zombie do this?" 
"Could he make you cum like this?"
You whine. "Only you can make me cum." 
"That's right. Don't ever forget it, or I’ll fucking remind you again." He kisses you again, all sloppy tongue, and your hair falls forward between you two as he puts every ounce of effort into bouncing you on his cock. He thrusts one more time with a low grunt, and the pain in your scalp as he tugs again sends you over the edge into a much needed climax. He freezes too, deep inside of you, and you feel him finish.
Manson lets you down, groaning as he rubs the sweat and shiny makeup off his face. Adrenaline shooting through him from both his show and the sex, he’s spoiling for a fight as was usual in these moods. He glares at a stage tech who had been coiling ropes. “Fuck you staring at?” The poor guy looks down in terror, carrying on with his job. Yep, Ginger was right, you think with a smile. He’s never gonna change. No matter how long it’s been, he’s still the same Manson you’re stuck with.  
Manson zips up his pants again and unbuttons his restricting black stage vest. Breathless and rubbing your hands around and down your boyfriend’s chest, you pout at your ruined dress in the mirror, straps dangling down your arms. 
"Look what you did to the dress, baby.”  
“Looks better this way. Now you can’t see his name, you can just see your tits,” he smiles lazily, sucking on his bottom lip lasciviously. 
“You’re a dirty old man, always looking at my tits.” 
“What am I supposed to do? They’re tits, they’re attached to your chest, and I think you’re hot.” 
You hide your flushed smile as you turn your nose up, sighing for show. “You do realize it's not normal that the best sex we have is when you're jealous."
"Since when are we normal?" He looks at you through the mirror, tired and grinning. "And I told you. I'm not fucking jealous." 
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