#'does that mean you're ace?'

[scribefindegil]

very funny that fic authors always use Dimple to dump exposition about whatever Evil Spirit Worldbuilding they made up to make their plot function meanwhile in canon his response to being asked about how spirits work is just, "The hell if I know!"

#i looooove the scene in the Reigen manga where Tome's interrogating him and he's like #Listen kid #i don't know everything about spirits just because i'm a spirit. #you're a human! does that mean you automatically know everything about how humans work? #no! #chill out!! #(things Dimple DOES know about spirits: #they can gain power from belief/devotion #[makes sense because this was his Evil Special Interest for many years] #they're basically all ace #and gender is optional) #mp100

[crimeronan]

probably i SHOULDN'T migrate elsewhere if tumblr goes belly-up. i just scrolled thru my dash for 20 minutes and in that short span i could feel myself transform from a mildly tired 27-year-old butch into an active serial killer.

#starts typing posts like 'i hate you people so fucking much' and then pauses like #this is how every terminally online post i've raised my eyebrows at for Weeks has started. #girl if you put all your thought into the computer eventually your world will shrink to the size of it. #this site really does make me feel like shit. i need to follow more photography blogs and people who don't post stupid fucking bullshit. #hey if you post a lot of photography or POSITIVE fandom stuff WITHOUT a shitload of untagged politics. #hit me up. i've unfollowed 80% of active blogs i used to follow for 'annoying me' crimes and my dash is both dead and profoundly irritating #i need to breathe some new life into this account. or what am i logging on for. #by positive fandom stuff i mean you're not typing a bunch of nasty hot takes i'll hate or bitching constantly about varying properties. #and you don't hate polyamory. and you don't hate ace people. and you don't hate queerplatonic relationships. #SHOULDN'T BE A HUGE ASK!!!!! AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND FUCKING YET!!!!!!!!!11SHIFTONE!1ELEVEN!!1! #i'm tired of tumblr not making me happy. i should be able to see my blorbos and feel joy here. #negative #i suppose

[lord-radish]

imagine thinking that trans men are inherently bad or evil or predatory on the basis of gendered privilege and societal power structures. cringe

#transmasc discourse #like the idea that trans men gain male privilege and kick down the ladder to beat on the queer community is astonishingly stupid at best #the idea that transphobia or queerphobia as a whole doesn't affect them because they're Assimilating With The Oppressors is like #man fucking what is up with people yknow #gender essentialism is fucked up and it's the same force that's beaten down on bi ace and transfem people #the fact that this has turned into 'trans rights but only for the women' by some dumb-fuck shitstains is awful #no. trans rights for all. #like let me explain what I mean here: trans men aren't seen as men by transphobes #it's not 'oh you're a fella? crack a cold beer and let's bash some gays'. passing as a man has just as much risk to it as passing as a woman #because a man who will attack a trans woman as someone who is not a woman will most likely attack a trans man he does not see as a man #with the same violence he might level against a cis woman #that's just on the masc side. i can't speak for any violence against trans men by cis women but I can see how cis women discredit trans men #by claiming them as Lost Lesbians and Sisters In Arms who've been lost due to the Trans Agenda #like people shit on bi people because they have 'passing privilege'. but we know that bi people face homophobia #and other issues about their orientation. the idea that trans men get their Boys Will Be Boys card is to focus on a tiny selection #that *potentially* has the power to he a shithead - like a queerphobic asexual person or a malicious bi person #and paint an entire group of diverse people as literally the worst interpretation you can imagine about them #like consider that you have your own issues and/or biases in regards to people you like and want to hang out with #and stop calling entire groups of people invaders and oppressors whose entire goal is to upend the community #and turn the power of queer people against them #i understand how it feels to feel powerless and to have somewhere where you feel supported and safe #but if you're going to see pain and hate in every group who shares your experience but gives you an ick for whatever reason #there's a solid chance that the Righteous Crusade against them is - in fact - your own personal dislike wielding a modicum of power #that essentially functions the same way that hetero- and cis-normative standards and people have rejected you. #it is essentially you becoming the bully. and just like bi and ace and transfem people before I won't stand for it #trans men are my people.

[kxllerblond]

demisexual/romantic characters are my bread and butter because it's like they go from uninterested or confused or even disgusted by the concepts to like "oh ok. wait a minute. we're cooking. but just with this specific person i've connected to"

#clark who just uses sex as a tool and really doesnt care much for it as soon as he ends up with a partner: i mean ykno. actually....i might #fuck with fucking actually. #it depends on the partner too tbh he tends to mirror. like if he's got a hypersexual partner. bam he fuckin on the reg #but if he's got a purely no sex-ace or low drive or whatever partner. he mirrors that too #like sex is never really something he needs or seeks out #it just becomes something fun and enjoyable instead of a chore when he does it with someone he's connected with on a certain level #the romance side tho he will be down bad. he is insanely romantic (in his own way) once he's managed to actually #connect with someone to feel that way in the first place #anyway as a demi myself i think we're so funny because #it can just be like a light switch #and it's hilarious because it's so easy to gaslight urself you might not actually be on the ace spectrum but then you leave that situation #with that emotionally connected person or you try and imagine yourself out of it. and the switch flicks right back off lol #and you're like. Oh no yeah this is def not how the allos do it

[redysetdare]

Some parts of the aro community have become incredibly hostile towards anyone who is ace in any way and it's disturbing to see.

#text #aro and ace seperatism has rotted some of ur brains in the worst way possible #by acting like ur fellow aspec are the enemy #instead of focusing on the real problem and us working together #imma b honest yall getting mad over aroaces tagging posts like that is dumb as fuck #tagging is the most petty and trivial problem compares to literally everything else grow tf up #no not every aro person is aroace but stop acting like aroaces are the problem #we arent causing ppl to think that. stop acting like we are a problem #is the community actually focused on aroaces or are you just getting mad aroaces post their experience #you cant act like telling ppl to stop focusing on aroaces so they can focus elsewhere is good #what part of “one minority group talking does not mean less talking for you”???? you can make your own posts #you want the community to be more diverse? make the fucking posts abt it. stop acting like aroaces are stealing from you #learn to fucking share the space dipshit. stop throwing your fellow aspecs under the bus #all because you're mad your experience doesnt match theirs or whatever the fuck yall are so upset by #do not add “but ace spaces” to this post. this is not about ace spaces at tge moment #this is about parts of the aro community being hostile

[x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x]

if you're deconstructing your ideas of binary gender and binary sex— you also have to deconstruct your ideas of binary sexuality and romantic attraction, too, fyi

#'are you saying homosexuals don't really exist??!?!!?!' no. please use your brain. #im saying it literally doesn't matter if a lesbian dates someone who YOU perceive as a man. #because the people in that relationship know more than you. #and human experience does not exist in a binary. #you have to accept that sometimes other people will experience life differently than you do #this also goes for gays and bis and pans and aces and aros. #the only people who get to define their experiences are them. #so no I don't really care if a gay man says his true love is a woman and he means it. #i still consider him gay. because he knows himself and his partner better than i know how to perceive them both #and how someone else identifies is none of my business. #that woman may be only part woman. or only perceived as a woman. or only sometimes a woman. or always both woman and man. #there's so many ways to be human. you have to learn to take other queers at face value and not question them #when you question if someone is 'REALLY gay' or 'REALLY trans' or 'REALLY bi'; you're thinking with the mindset of an oppressor #you do not need to gatekeep queerness. queerness is not a limited resource. queer people are not your enemies. #learn to empathize and embrace experiences unlike yours. be a better ally to the people in your own community instead of immediately - #- searching for ways to cast them out. be better. stop thinking like our oppressors. queer people do not need to rationalize ourselves for - #- anyone. they don't owe you an explanation. you cannot take their 'gay card' away.

[the-punforgiven]

God, ABA feels just like how she used to for me, I'm so happy

#Just like #I mean it's Strive so she feels a little different #Feels slightly tougher to combo into key grab though #which is like #disappointing somewhat but manageable #skill issue on my part mostly tbh #Moroha stance not consuming her health is HUGE though #but overall she feels very nice and has the same sort of ''You're fucked now buddy'' energy I remember from AC+ #Still fully haven't gotten the hang of her i-frame moves but I'm getting there I think lol #I do miss the silly baphomet skull though lol #idk the melty face para has instead really just doesn't have the same vibe #Does remind me I need to get a new controller though #my B button's all fucked up from panic rolling too much in Elden Ring lol #Honestly though she feels SO good to play I'm so happy to have her back #pun's text posts #Guilty Gear

[dj-of-the-coven]

here take a shitty ace-of-hearts!Neku edit before I slam my head through a wall with feelings about ace headcanons. happy ace week

#just because I joke about twewy characters fucking does not mean I can't also headcanon them as ace #you're not my mom and you can't make me do ANYTHING #asexual #twewy #ntwewy #beatneku #picmix #flashing #neku sakuraba #daisukenojo bito

[shrimpmandan]

I haven’t posted acecourse anything in forever bc I honestly don’t care but my new acecourse hot take is that Wikipedia explains things better than anyone on here ever has to me

#personal #I did not fucking understand what a QPR was or how aspec labels worked for my. minimum 3 years on this site #(probably longer for overall exposure to the terms) #bc people would wrap it up in like weird metaphors and shit that just sounded dumb and vague to me #and then I go to wikipedia and wikipedia's just like ''here's the difference between primary and secondary attraction'' #and ''y'know what an intimate relationship is? ok so it's like that but non-romantic'' #that clicked with me more than whatever vague passive-aggressive education bullshit goes on over here . #wikipedia made me realize I was demisexual not tumblr aces going #''oh it means being attracted to people you're close with'' #like duh everyone does that #breaking down primary and secondary attraction was the thing for me #am i just severely autistic. am i insane. maybe #but it's actually fucking incredible how much simpler it is to explain concepts when you aren't trying to be metaphorical and vague with it

[llycaons]

op was a mutual in law so I'm not trying to be mean but I just saw a post and uh mu qing and wen qing are literally not canonically ace

#op was like 'people only see her as a lesbian because they relate to her' #um I think you're doing the same thing? #there's moments when she could be interpreted as into wwx and/or jyl #mq I kind of get but I'm eh bc he's autistic #and taking celibacy vows has been done for hundreds of years if not longer #to join certain social groups so it doesn't necessarily mean he's not into sex #she does say mq ignored women. or maybe ignores only ugly women 😭 but being a misogynist actually doesnt \ #indicate anything about a man's sexuality #like I don't think there's anything that definitively says they're NOT ace but uh I don't think you can say it's canon either #when there's always other interpersonal or social things going on #though I will say I would rather see ace wq than wq shipped with jc #ofc there's always the added layer a white person of hcing a Chinese autistic man as ace. idk op's race #so I'm not like blaming them it's just something I try to avoid #and imo there is more evidence that mq is autistic than that he's ace #and the vague lesbophobia is hr #not great #cor.txt

[sapphic-woes]

Me the more I look at Ac Mirage

#like.........um. #no offense but i feel like this is rlly dumb from a buisness standpoint #you have a whole new fandbase and now you're like yk lets bring it back to the basics #but NOT in the smart way #not like bringing back like the core of ac mixed with the new shit like idk UNDERSTANDING WOMAN EXIST #or understanding YOUVE BEEN MAKING RPG GAMES FOR LIKE YRS NOW PPL???? R USED TO THAT??? #like wat IS this #sigh #also wat does less raw mean???? #i dunno if ill check it out.... #ive been playing ac since unity (IK OK I JUST LIKED ARNO ENOUGH TO IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE) #so who knows i might just put my clown nose on and waste money #like im nit saying valhalla was revolutionary that ending was so bad i didnt even know when it ended frfr #but damn.....i would take that again over wtf THIS is #100%

[mushroomteddy]

"it's disrespectful to be attracted to someone without consent" what the fuck oh my god

#like even as an ace person this is the dumbest fuckin argument I've ever seen #like I'm sorry but just bc you and i don't feel romantic/sexual attraction it doesn't mean it's a sin the rest of the world does #there's a difference between being aroace and fucking puritanical I'm sorry #that is the dumbest post i have ever seen on this website #like yes lets promote absitenence from all feelings thats so healthy #like you're no different from straight people saying same sex attraction is bad

[nymph1e]

On Discomfort and Morality

My father finds gay men uncomfortable.

He's told me before that it's like a knee-jerk for him. Something he doesn't consciously control. He sees two men behaving romantically, and his body reacts with mild discomfort.

In the 1960s, when he was in high school, most of the boys in his form thought he was gay on the simple fact that he wasn't homophobic. He wouldn't participate in insulting queer people, he didn't care if someone was gay, he wouldn't have a problem hanging out with gay people. So people thought he was gay. That's how prevalent homophobia was in his formative years.

When I was 10, my dad told me very seriously that Holmes and Watson were gay. That it was obvious from the literature and the time period that they were meant to be a gay couple. When I was 14 and I came out to my parents as bi, when my mum was upset my dad ripped into her for it. Told her that she was being stupid, that it was my life to live how I wanted to and that she needed to get over herself.

My dad formed my views on censorship: that being that it was completely ridiculous and thoroughly evil. He didn't believe in censorship of any kind. If I asked him a question about sex, he answered it honestly. When I was 12 and I asked him about homosexuality, still young and uncertain, he told me that there was nothing wrong with it. That it was just how some people were. That there was likely an evolutionary reason for it. And that for some people it was uncomfortable on an instinctual level.

He taught me that just because you're uncomfortable with something, doesn't make it wrong. He also taught me that most people don't understand this.

I see a lot of this on the internet as of the last few years. The anti shipping movement, the terf movement, the anti ace movement. It all stems from discomfort that people have crossed wires into believing means wrong. Really every -ism and -phobia out there stems from this same fundamental aspect of humanity.

The next time you see something and you automatically think it's disgusting, or wrong, or immoral, I invite you to ask yourself: is this actually wrong or does this just make me uncomfortable?

#shipping discourse #anti censorship #anti terf #my mum isn't homophobic #she was upset because she thought it meant i couldnt have children or a family #and this is something important to her #she was also not upset around me but to my dad in private

[isekyaaa]

I really can't take kiss prompts very seriously nor the cuddling ones because like I have never seen a serious non-lip kiss between lovers and cuddling to the degree it's portrayed in fics is only applicable to the first six months of living together.

#rambles #when i say serious i mean like.... #it's not ironic or teasing #well... cheek kisses are neither but theyre also not butterfly inducing #theyre only applicable when someone is leaving for work and they gotta kiss their occupied partner goodbye #like if youre gonna kiss just kiss on the damn lips #go big or go home #none of this 'uwu it's soooo romantic to be kissed on your forehead or eyelids' crap #literally nobody does that #and cuddling okay like #there's no way in hell you're going to wake up cuddled to your partner every single damn day #unless your ac is absolutely freezing #all those fics like 'omg he wont let you out of bed bc he wants to cuddle you so much >//u//<' #sickeningly sugar sweet dripping in honey #get a damn job #is that what love is to people? is that what they want? is that what they imagine relationships to be like? #oh btw i'm not saying cuddling is abnormal #i'm talking about reader-insert tumblr's definition of it

[antikosm]

Aro/Ace Terms Masterlist

Please let me know if I forgot anything

NOTE: There is a distinct difference between someone's personal orientation versus how they feel about sexuality/romanticism as a whole. Someone who's sex/romance repulsed may be in favour of open sexual/romantic expression or even vice versa (shoutout to @sowearecleariamhere for informing me of this!)

Types of attraction

Sexual - I wanna have sex with that

Romantic - I want to date that

Sensual - I want to hug that

Platonic - I want to be friends with that

Platonic crushes do exist. They are called “squishes”. You go through the same process of having a romantic or sexual crush but instead of landing them in bed, you’re on the floor at 2am with pizza rolls, Shrek in the background, talking about eldritch monstrosities (or whatever your shared interest is)

Aesthetic - that looks so heckin’ cool/pretty I love it

Intellectual - the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, i.e. having a conversation, picking their brain, and finding out how they think

Terms describing degree of attraction

Aromantic - lack of romantic attraction

Asexual - lack of sexual attraction

Aplatonic - lack of platonic attraction

Aroace - lack of both sexual and romantic attraction

Demi - attraction only forms once a strong emotional bond has been formed

Grey/gray - rarely/seldom experiences attraction

Allosexual - someone who experiences sexual attraction

I think I’ve also heard/seen it referred to as ‘arosexual’ but that’s honestly a bit confusing

Alloromantic - someone who experiences romantic attraction

I personally shorten both of those to “allo” (pronounced ‘aloe’)

Apothiosexual - sex-repulsed

Apothioromantic - romance-repulsed

Apothiaroace - often shortened to just ‘apothi’. In addition to being aroace, apothis are repulsed by romantic/sexual scenes, items, displays, etc. to varying degrees

Sex-neutral and sex-positive/favourable aces exist as well

Not all of us have the same level of comfort with sexual and romantic activities so please check. I mean that applies to everyone anyway, but please check and don’t assume that just because someone is aro/ace, that doesn’t mean they are sex/romance repulsed

Queerplatonic - Queerplatonic typically refers to a relationship that bends the lines between a romantic relationship and a non-romantic relationship. A queerplatonic relationship (QPR) often goes beyond what is socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but does not fit the typical notion of a romantic relationship.

Alterous attraction - a type of emotional attraction to someone that isn’t entirely romantic or platonic.

Chastity - actively refraining from sexual activities. This is NOT part of the ace/aro spectrum, though it is a common assumption when someone says they are ace/aro. Thankfully we’re getting a bit more representation in media now so it’s not as common of an assumption as it used to be, but it’s still there, especially in those communities.

An absolute FANTASTIC addition by @heyftinally in case anyone doesn't see the repost

Gonna expand on sex favorable/neutral/repulsed, since this is a masterlist after all: - Sex favorable - regardless of your sexual orientation, you personally want to engage in sexual activity with someone (significant other, one night stand, friends with benefits, etc) - Sex neutral - if you're with someone who wants to engage in sexual activities then you may or may not, depending on a variety of factors, but you have no strong inclinations for or against engaging in sex itself as an activity. Basically it's "alright" Sex repulsed/averse - the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities makes you want to hurl/cry/claw your skin off/spontaneously combust. If someone suggested doing sexual activities together, you would probably vehemently say "No!" before they even finished the question. You would rather do anything else - Sex positive - refers to your attitudes about sex in general. Regardless of where you fall in the above three terms, you recognize that other people want to, and should have the freedom and right to, engage in consensual sexual activities, even if you personally don't like or want those activities. Essentially shorthand for "I respect the right of other adults to have gay sex, have gender-weird sex, have sex with multiple people in and out of monogamous relationships/marriages, and have weird, wild, freaky kinky sex, so long as all participants and consenting adults". You can still personally want zero sex for yourself or think a particular kink is weird/ick, but you can, in tumblr speak, be normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult stuff - Sex negative - conservative purity culture, basically. You think nobody should have sex ever, or at least not until marriage, and when they do it should only be the "right" or "good" kind, as arbitrarily decided by you/society/some collective. You think badly of, look down on, and may even treat badly anyone who doesn't have the "right" kind of sex in your opinion. You are not normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult activities (even though they don't involve you in any way)

A wonderful addition from @overlord-of-chaos Sex aversion is not the same thing as sex repulsed.

If you are sex adverse, you personally have no desire to partake in any of those actions but seeing or knowing other people partake in that doesn't bother you.

Sex repulsion is when you can't stand doing it yourself, seeing/hearing about/knowing that others partake in it, or even just the idea of it.

Microlabels/Terms describing flavour of attraction

Note: -sexual is used for many of these so we don't have to deal with duplicates confusing things. All of these prefixes can be used with -romantic, -sexual, -platonic, and I imagine -alterous as well

Abrosexual - orientation fluctuates between a variety of orientations

Aceflux - similar to abrosexual, but orientation is contained to asexual spectrum

Acespike - someone who is asexual but may experience intense, brief, and random bouts of sexual attraction

Aegosexual - disconnect between oneself and the target of arousal

Amicusromantic/sexual - only experiences romantic attraction to those who they have formed a platonic relationship with (subset of demi)

Angled aroace - the same as oriented, but for those who are demi, grey, flux, etc.

Anthrosexual - someone who is attracted to humans and alterhumans regardless of gender identity/expression

Bellussexual - has interest in the aesthetic/aspects/certain sexual actions, but does not experience sexual attraction or want a sexual relationship

Caedsexual - previously allo, but now ace due to past trauma

Cupiosexual - wanting a sexual relationship but not experiencing sexual attraction

Finsexual/gynesexual - attraction to femininity

Fraysexual - opposite of demi. Attraction dissipates once an emotional connection has been formed

Linsexual - attraction to androgyny

Lithosexual - experiencing sexual attraction but not wanting it to be reciprocated

Loveless Romantic/Lovelessromantic - those who cannot feel love or feel disconnected from love but can feel romantic attraction/don't feel disconnected from the concept of romance

Minsexual/androsexual - attraction to masculinity

Orchid - the opposite of cupio; experiences ____ attraction but has no desire for a relationship of that type

Placiosexual - not wanting to be on the receiving end of sexual activities but wishing to perform them on others

Quiosexual - unable to distinguish between sexual attraction and other forms of attraction

Qui(r)oromantic - inability to distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction

Reciprosexual - not experiencing sexual attraction towards someone until you discover they experience sexual attraction towards you

Requiessexual - similar to caedsexual, but rather than trauma, ace identity originates from a state of emotional exhaustion, usually from a past sexual experience

Oriented aroace -  an aromantic asexual (aroace) individual who experiences a form of tertiary attraction, that they feel is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation. (i.e. gay aroace, bi aroace)

Angled aroace - someone who is on the aroace spectrum (grey, demi, fray, etc) who experiences a type of attraction significant enough to stand alongside their aroace orientation

Examples of mixed orientations

Heteroromantic asexual biplatonic

Poly greyromantic pansexual

Apothi abroplatonic

Placiosexual aromantic finplatonic

Aroace cupioplatonic

Pan lithioromantic

Fraysexual biromantic aplatonic

You can get WAY more specific than what these cover, but just to give a general idea

Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity is the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship. The term was coined by Elizabeth Brake, in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law (2011).

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #microlabels #apothi #litho #cupio #demi #recipro #aego #autochorissexual #greyromantic #greysexual #platonic intimacy #platonic crush #squish #alterous attraction #amatonormativity #anthrosexual #ace spectrum #aro spectrum #acespec #arospec

[thursdayg1rl]

my aunt after the situation she specifically designed to escalate escalates

#what an annoying bitch I swear to god I can't live here anymore #my cousin basically really beat my brother up #not surprised #like this is the one who slapped me when I was 14 #ac worried abt his fiancé. but I just need to get myself out #then she started bringing me and my sister into it and even my cousin was like stop bringing the other kids into it #god theres never any fucking quiet in this house im actually losing my mind #she's actually so. I don't know. like its really gross and transparent that she's jealous of something #yesterday sitting at the table being like 'I can't look pretty at events bc the girls here are so ugly' #for god sake just accept that you are not 20 years old anymore like this sounds mean but idc #yeah I really have to get out #one year now #why does she want validation from her sons so bad #she was just so obvious about how she wants them to say 'oh you're so beautiful you're so much more beautiful than your daughters' #god there is something so wrong with her