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#'ill take this before u throw it out' she said
mydearesthrry · 3 months
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right back home to you - h.s.
a/n: had a hard time deciding if i wanted to put this out since im not too happy with the outcome but i wanted to feed u guys. in the future ill probably go back in and edit it but for now i hope you all enjoy this little angsty girl xx im also working on part 2 of love in secret !!!!!!!!!! she should be out fairly soon <3
wc: 4.8k
warnings: none, angst, fluff, flight anxiety
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“Hello? ‘M home,” Harry shouted into the cold house. Not that he would even notice, but the air was dull and the atmosphere was still, hues in the normally vibrant house now gray and lifeless. “Baby?” 
“Oh, hi Harry,” A dulcet smile was on her face as she walked around the corner with sweatpants and a baggy hoodie on, a baseball cap on top of her head. She had her dirty and beat up air forces on her feet that Harry loved to make fun of, small dollops of paint on the soles of the shoe. She also had a pair of sunnies that lay stagnant on the dark blue visor, a tell tale sign for Harry that she was going out. “I didn’t hear you come home.” 
Harry hummed, holding his arms out for her to walk into. She did, but only embraced him with half of her body, one arm curling around his waist loosely while the other stayed swaying by her side. In both of their opinions, it was way too short to even be considered a hug, not even close to being an embrace, but Y/N did it purposely. Harry frowned, feeling a twinge of hurt at her unusual lack of affection. “Um… Are y- are y’going out?” 
She laughed falsely, shaking her head and turning her body to face the large windows in their apartment. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” 
Harry was still confused. “What d’you mean?” 
It’s now or never, Y/N thought, and mustered her bravest smile as she pivot turned to face him again. “I’m leaving, Harry. I’m going up to New York to stay with Eliza. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but I’ll be sure to let you know in advance, is that okay?” 
A few beats pass, Harry staring at her in disbelief. “What the fuck? No, no, s’not okay! Why- why are y’leaving? Y’didn’t even tell me? When were you planning on telling me y’were leaving?” 
“I’ve been planning on leaving for a long time, Harry. I was actually meant to leave before you even got home, really, but you’re early.” She sighed, rubbing at her temple and knowing the fight that was about to ensue. 
“Why are y’leaving?” Harry’s voice started to grow in volume, becoming harder and harsher as he tightened his hands into balled fists, trying to channel his feelings in another way rather than yelling at his girlfriend. 
“I’m leaving because I can’t do this anymore, Harry. I cant keep arguing with you every day, it’s just not fair to me. And it’s not fair to you either, really, so I’m just… taking the stress off of the both of us and making the bold decision to leave.” She explains, moving to grab her suitcases from the hallway and roll them into the living room. 
“That’s wha’ this is about? The fight we had last night?” He asks, eyes widening and mouth drying at the sight of her multiple suitcases. 
“Um— not entirely, I guess. I’ve meant to go up to visit Eliza, if you remember, we were going to but you had um— a party, that you needed to attend. So I just decided to book a flight last night after you went to sleep.” She's as quiet as a mouse, her words not staggering but it was physically obvious that she was nervous. 
“So what now? Is that it? You’re just… throwing away four years of my- of our fucking life?” Harry spat. She’d started to shrink into herself quite a bit, sweaty palms running over the now warm black handle of her small suitcase. 
“I’m not throwing away anything, Harry. We had a fight, you and I both said some nasty things, and I’m just going up to my sister's house for a little bit to clear my head. Like I said, I was meaning to go up anyway. This isn’t really about you, Harry, as much as you think it might be. I’ve been miserable here all alone and all I want is to be with someone who I know can provide me with love and attention right now, which is what I need. You need it too.” She tried to hold her ground but the tremble in her soft voice made her feel weak. 
She and Harry had gotten into a multitude of arguments within the past weeks that he had been off tour. It started from little things, like a sock being thrown over the laundry basket and not inside of it, or one of them leaving their dirty tea mugs on the counter when the sink was right there! But as small and insignificant as these things were, they also grew into arguments about bigger issues. One of the more nasty arguments had pushed her to pack her bags and book a plane ride up to her sister’s house in New York. 
The argument on the table this time around was that whenever Harry was home after an elongated amount of time on the road, he would treat Y/N as if she was his friend and not girlfriend of three years. She’d had a problem with this seeing as all she ever wanted him to do was love her and take care of her, and for some reason she couldn’t help but feel he found that hard. 
“Bullshit. I know y’leaving ‘cause your feelings got hurt or whatever, but you know y’don’t have to leave, pup. We can resolve this, don’t we always?” He grumbles, taking a few small steps forward to meet her where she stood by the door. 
“It’s entirely different this time, Harry.” She sighed, bending down to sit on the floor since she knew they’d probably be there for a while. 
“How?! How could this be any fuckin’ different? We’re jus’ arguin’ are we not?” Harry runs a stressed hand through his hair, trying to channel his energy away from his voice. Though he tried to refrain from allowing his anger to seep its way into his voice, his girlfriend could still pick up on the edge that lined his vocal chords. 
“No, baby. We aren’t just arguing. This is me trying to tell you how I feel, and you keep pushing it aside. So this isn’t just us arguing anymore, I guess I’m surrendering. I’m tired of doing this with you whenever you’re home, Harry. I’m alone every day, 24/7, and then you come home and it’s like nothing has changed. Which I love, I love how we can just bounce back, but sometimes I need more love or attention when you come back, and I just…” She starts to gnaw on her lips, trying to word her next thought carefully. “I’m tired of being treated like your friend rather than your girlfriend.” 
“What?” 
“Mhm. Besides me being alone all the time, whenever I do have you— or people around, you only ever want to keep me at arms length. The whole world knows we’re together, Harry. You’ve posted on my birthday and it’s no secret to anyone anymore. I… I just can’t understand why you do that, really. It makes me feel like I’m just your friend and not your lover.” She pauses, inhaling a sharp breath of air and willing her tears away. 
“What do you— what do you even mean? I’m always with you whenever I’m home, I bring y’everywhere w’me?” His anger just kept growing and growing, but this time he noticed that the weight of guilt that was sitting on his heart had gotten heavier with every breath he took, the weight of the pull almost being able to bring him to his knees.
She lets out a wet laugh, shaking her head before dropping it in defeat. “Harry… I hate to bring it up but— you’ve been home for what, three weeks now? We haven’t had sex, we barely have cuddled, you don’t put your arm around me in public or kiss my cheek. I— I feel like I’m losing you. It’s so hard to love you when you won’t let me. I’ve tried to be understanding and just trying to accept the fact that you’re readjusting to our normal life but… I miss you. The only time we talk for longer than a few minutes is when we fight, and that’s not okay. You know how much you mean to me, but I just can’t keep trying to love someone you aren’t anymore. It’s just too destructive to me and I just can’t. I’m sorry, Harry. I hope you can understand, and I’ll be back whenever we’re ready.” 
Harry’s now shaking with sobs. Uncontrollable, messy, heartbreaking sobs. Her words were finally making sense to him. All of the arguments had finally made sense. She was arguing with him just so he would talk to her. He thought he could die with the amount of guilt squeezing his heart right now. 
“I love you, isn’t that enough?” He whispered. 
“I don’t think it is anymore, Harry.” Lifting herself up to her feet, she rolls her suitcase to stand behind her, taking a few small steps to be inches away from her Harry. “I’ll be back, H. I promise.” 
Placing a kiss to his wet cheek, he watched her walk away with a damp smile, and against his will, engrained the image of her leaving to his mind. 
This wasn’t how he imagined they would end. 
He didn’t even entertain the thought of them ever ending; but now he feels like he just lost every single atom of his being in the quickest of moments. 
It was hell. 
Harry could say with full conviction that it was absolute hell to be in that house, that big house on the beach, alone. 
Nothing felt right. From the second he woke up in the morning, to the minute he slid his legs under the covers at night, he almost felt nauseous because of how unusual he felt. How unusual everything felt. 
And it was all his fault. 
Picking up his phone, he goes to text his sweet girl again when he decides to scroll up to find the reprieve of gray amongst the sea of blue. 
Harry: Please text me when you land. 
Harry: I love you, please don’t forget that. 
Harry: Take all the time you need, Angel. I’m here if you need me. I’m so sorry.
Harry: I’ll be waiting for you when you get home. Just say the word and I’ll get you a ticket. 
Harry: Take your time though, please be safe. I love you.
Harry: Again
Y/N: just landed. kinda busy rn, talk to you later bug
Harry: That’s okay, be safe. ❤️
Y/N loved this message
Harry: I love you 
Y/N: yeah love you too h
Allowing his head to drop onto the back of the sofa, his arm fell limp onto his thigh, his green eyes scanned the interior of the living room, twinges of pain and guilt panting in his chest whenever he’d land his gaze on something that was proprietarily hers. 
Her growing orchids in a handmade pot that they’d painted together on their first Valentine’s Day as a couple. 
The godawful mirror she thrifted from a random corner store back in her hometown that she begged Harry to put up. 
A small canvas filled with tiny paintings of inside jokes and memorable dates that she gifted to him last Christmas. He allowed himself to trace over that painting for a little longer than the rest of the small things placed among their living room. 
11/29/19. The first time they met. 
1/16/21. When Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. 
4/07/21. The first time they said I love you. 
12/25/22. When Harry surprised Y/N on Christmas with a down payment on a house. The one he was now residing in, alone. 
A red convertible figurine, the car they first kissed in. 
A coffee cup and a teacup, symbolizing the first date they went on, where he learned she hates tea and preferred coffee, which led to an argument on whether coffee or tea was better. 
A small tulip, representing the first bouquet of flowers he ever bought her. 
And a small pearl ring, an exact replica of the promise ring Harry had given her on their 3 year anniversary. 
He didn’t even notice the streaks of tears beginning to run down his face until he felt a teardrop fall onto his inner wrist, making him look down. 
But as he canvassed the room once more, he perked up at the sight of a small snow globe that she brought him back from New York, and that was when he got an idea. He knew it was dramatic, and a bit of a stretch, but who said he wouldn’t go to extreme lengths to get his soulmate back?
Yeah, no one ever. 
To: Eliza
Harry: Hey Liz, got a sec?
Harry hated flying alone. 
Since he was a teenager and stepped foot on his first plane, he was anxious even being next to someone he barely knew even though his friends were two seats away. Though he would claim that he’s always been a bit anxious and just chalking it up to flight anxiety, he knew that the real reason why he hated flying alone was because he always feared that something bad would happen on the ground when he was in the air and vice versa, and that was always his greatest vice. 
His hands began to tremble nervously as he looked out the window of the airplane, seeing nothing but fluffy white on the exterior and the soft red light of the aircraft’s wings blinking every so often. His headphones were placed over his head, smushing his curls down flat onto his head, a mask covering the bottom half of his face. His hood was pulled up as well, trying to conceal himself as much as possible. He hadn’t brought much, just a little carry on and a small tote to shove under the seat in front of him. It was wishful thinking that he wouldn’t be there for a long while, but he brought the keys to his apartment in New York anyway. 
He kept his head hung in nausea, the speed of his shaking hands increasing tenfold. The pit in his stomach grew and he had to beg his own body to allow his eyes to not stray to the window next to him. Sure, he could close it, but he feared if it was too dark he would become more anxious than he was right now. The mask covering the bottom half of his face now felt constricting— as if he was being suffocated by the thin layer of fabric. The light douse of perfume that danced around the sunflower print of the mask couldn’t even distract him, and it only pained him more that his senses were fully encompassed by her. He bit down on his lip to distract himself by the whirling feeling of nausea that now swirled around in his throat, willing away the sick that begged to come out.
The rest of the flight was the same, his anxiety only decreasing when he allowed himself to take a small nap. However, when he woke up, his nerves had heightened when he flickered his gaze from the window to the screen in front of him, reading only 20 minutes until he was set to touch down. Grasping his phone from his hoodie pocket, he aligned it to his face then rolling his eyes when he remembered he had a mask on. Lowering his phone he typed in his password— Y/N’s birthday— and pulled up their messages again. 
Harry: Good morning baby. I love you. I hope you have a good day today!! 
Y/N: thanks h love you
He couldn’t lie and say that her being short with him didn’t hurt his feelings, because it did. He wasn’t going to avoid the fact, but that didn’t mean that he liked it regardless. He felt like a fool checking his phone so often, especially when he knew that she wouldn’t be making an effort to reach out first, but he could be hopeful, right? 
At least that’s what he’s telling himself. 
The plane landed safely, nerves rolling off of his back in waves and he was more than happy to leave his flight anxiety on the floor of the plane, relieved to not be miles high in the air. There was a lull that was obvious to Harry, and he felt himself switch to function in autopilot, waiting mindlessly to enter the aisle to retrieve his bag from the overhead compartment. 
The nippy New York air was the first thing to snap Harry out of his trance. Looking down at his phone, he felt a soft buzz and soon after felt his heart beat almost fast enough to eject from his chest. 
Y/N: saw this in a store earlier, thought of u
Y/N: Attachment: 1 Image 
Eliza: waiting near terminal b for you, lmk when you get outside 
Harry: I’m outside, can you see me?
Eliza: yep. be there in a sec
Swiping out of Y/N’s sisters messages, he went to click on Y/N’s before a black car stopped in front of him, averting his attention from his device to the car that just screeched to a halt. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he trudged forward and grabbed onto the door handle, prying it open and avoiding Eliza’s deathly stare. “Um- hiiii.” 
She scoffed. “Hi, H.” 
He throws his tote to his feet, awkwardly buckling himself in and turned in his seat, avoiding eye contact but making sure she knew that conversation was open if she’d wanted to make it. “How— um… How are you?”
Silence follows his words for a few seconds, making him heat up in embarrassment. “Good.” 
“Oh- that’s good… I, um— haven't seen y’in quite a while, Lizzy,” He says softly, guilt evident in his voice. “I missed you.” 
Eliza was basically Gemma’s best friend. They were attached at the hip the first time they met, bonding over being the eldest sisters, and shared secrets. Y/N and Harry’s family had always been interconnected, close with each other even if Y/N and Harry lacked that communication. 
They were basically soul tied in every sense of the phrase. 
“Yeah, I missed you too, H. But,” Eliza starts. “You’ve been a right dick to my sister.” 
“I know,” He whispers. 
“Do you? Fuck, H, my fucking baby sister came to me crying because of you. And you know how much I love you, truly, you know I do, but I love her more. So, I just have to ask,” She pauses, gnawing on her lip and clicking her blinker on to signal her turn. “What the hell happened?” 
“I,” He sniffs, trying to contain his emotions already begging to come out. “I don’t know.” 
Eliza snorts. “Bullshit.” 
“I— I really don’t, Lizzy. I guess I was really in m’head about… well, everything. I lo- love her so much,” Harry’s voice cracks, his facade shattering into more microscopic pieces than the most delicate sheet of glass ever could. 
“I know you do, H. That’s why this is so confusing to me. To Gems. And most importantly, to Y/N. What happened, Curly? How’d we lose you?” She begs, trying to get him to explain where he was mentally. She loved him as she would Y/N, which was the hardest part. It hurt her as much as it hurt him to confront him about the issue. 
“I don’t want her to hate me! Okay?” Harry sobs, chin falling to his chest in weakness. “I don’t want her t’hate me for being away all the time, and I’m so fucking scared. ‘M scared because the press is doing nothing but talking bad about me and I don’t know if I can equally protect her as much as she does me when this happens. When it happens t’me I jus’ ignore it, but I know she can’t do that. I know it, Lizzy, and so d’you.” 
“I know, H. I know.” She whispers. 
“I jus’ wanted to keep her as far away as I could so that if she did decide she didn’t want me anymore, it wouldn’t hurt as bad.” He murmurs so quietly, he himself even doubts if he said it out loud. 
Silence followed the rest of the car ride, the only sound filling the space of the vehicle being the soft splatter of rain on the glass windows and windshield, paired with the crackly static of the stereo. The sun even seemed to be hiding away, the sky dark with clouds, little to no light making an appearance to greet Harry’s arrival. 
Pulling up to her driveway, Eliza parked the car, keeping her ignition on so she could drive away after Harry got into the house. Turning to Harry, she chewed on her bottom lip as she traced his side profile with her eyes. “You need to tell her exactly what you told me. Word for word, Harry. You can’t keep her in the dark. She doesn’t even know I went to pick you up. So, just promise me that you’ll tell her exactly what you told me.” 
“I promise.” Harry’s voice cracked in a broken whisper, vocal cords thrumming against each other as if they were rusted. “Love you, Lizzy. Thank you.”
Stepping out of the car, he knocked on the door thrice, and tapped softly on the doorbell for good measure. His hands had gone cold with anxiousness, but he wrote it off as the stark cold weather of New York. 
“Harry? Oh my god, baby, get inside,” Y/N pulled him in immediately, pushing his thick puffer jacket off of him that was shiny with rainwater, hands coming up to pull his baby blue beanie from his hair, revealing his soft curls. They shared no words as she pulled him to the living room, where she sat the both of them down and covered the length of their torsos and legs with a big fluffy blanket. Y/N didn’t waste a second before she threw her legs over his thighs, grabbing his hands and rubbing over the cold and cracked red skin, trying to exude as much warmth from her own as much as she could. 
She’s always been warm. 
Her hands have always been graced with heat and more significantly, she always tended to carry around an aura as sweet as honey and as warm as a hug with her wherever she went. Bringing their hands up to his lips, he presses kisses all over the back of hers, kissing her knuckles and fingertips that moved erratically over his own. She could feel the dry chap of his lips on her hands and down to her wrists but she didn’t care. She didn’t mind one bit. She would rather commit the feeling of his lips on her hands to memory rather than not know what they felt like at all. 
“What’re you doing here, baby?” She asks, concern etched in her face as she lifts her head to look at him, her movements on his hands not staggering or slowing. 
“Came t’see you,” He whispers weakly. “Couldn’t bear it. I need t’see you, hold y’again… Fuck, do jus’ about anything to be near y’again.” 
Her heart twisted with the most intense emotion that she could only describe as heartbreak. “You— you got on a plane by yourself just to come see me?” 
“Would do jus’ about anything f’you, sweet girl. Of course I would go on a plane jus’ by myself if it meant I could hold you.” He admitted. He avoided eye contact with her, keeping his eyes trained on their conjoined hands that now lay stagnant on the soft fabric of the blanket. 
“Harry,” She whispers. “Why are you here, my love?” 
“I felt too guilty t’let you leave like that,” He says, gnawing on his bottom lip to will away the tears begging to escape. “I couldn’t let y’go without telling y’I loved you. And I didn’t…” He pauses, struggling for air as he over explained. “I didn’t even explain m’self. I didn’t tell you I loved you. I didn’t kiss y’back. I didn’t even tell y’to be safe.” 
He’s fully sobbing now, Y/N tracing his side profile with his eyes, jittering with fear and anxiety. “It’s okay, hey, baby, listen,” Grabbing his chin with the tips of her fingers, she turns his head to hers, resting his forehead atop of hers. “It’s okay. I forgive you. I just needed time to think and I didn’t want to lash out on you because I didn’t have time to. We’re okay, baby. I promise.” 
He shook his head while she spoke, tears falling on the fluff of the blanket with every movement. His eyes were clenched as if he was in pain, and uneven erratic breaths fell from his mouth. “Nonono. I should— should’ve listened to you. I did- didn’t mean t’treat y’like tha’,” Harry’s accent had gotten heavier with how much emotion he was feeling, stumbling over his words as if he was drunk. 
“And I should’ve explained myself more. It’s not your fault, H. Please baby, breathe,” She begged, tightening her grip on his hands as she pleaded with her nose slotted next to his, every whispered beg pushing her lips forward to lightly brush against his raw-bitten ones. “There, that’s it.” 
His breaths began to even out, just the slightest bit. His hands still shook dramatically, veins in his neck that once protruded from the force of his cries now retracting. “I’m sorry.” 
“Harry, stop apolog-“ 
“No. I have t’say this before I leave because if I don’t, I don’t think I ever will. I— I didn’t mean t’push y’away. I was trying to protect m’self but I didn’t see that it was hurting y’too. It wasn’t my intention, and now I realize it wasn’t the right thing t’do.” He sniffles, pulling back from her face to hold eye contact for the utmost emphasis on his words. 
“I tried to keep you far away because if you ended up resenting me for being away all the time it would hurt less if you decided to leave me. Paired with everything that’s being said in the media about m’right now, I tried t’keep y’as far away as I could so that if everything came crashing down on me, I would’ve had to cope with losing y’less than everything else. And I kept picking fights with y’so that if— or when y’got too fed up w’me, you’d leave me yourself instead of something else forcing y’to leave me. I think it was all subconscious, seeing how I freaked out on y’when y’told me you were leaving. I guess I didn’t really prepare myself for when it was really going t’happen. I’m really, really sorry, Angel. I really do hope y’can forgive me.” 
She’s silent. It scares him, he can’t lie. He takes her silence as an answer and pulls his hands from her grasp and moves her legs softly off of his thighs, standing up and brushing off his pants in an attempt to stall. She’s still mute, and he takes it as his cue to go. There’s still tears streaming down his face, but they’re silent. Like he doesn’t even want to acknowledge that they’re falling at all. 
“I love you.” He whispers, before turning and walking to the door. Placing his hand on the knob, he turns it, and his heart follows the motion with a sharp twist that he thinks he feels in his entire body. He’s gnawing in his lip to avoid breaking down in front of her, even though she’s arguably seen him at his worst and most vulnerable times. Opening the door, he’s greeted with the harsh cold air, biting at his skin so aggressively he feels like his tears have now frozen to his face. Bearing the pain, he forced himself to take the step out the doorway and onto the porch, on autopilot as he let his feet decide his motions. 
“Harry, wait,” Y/N pleaded, running out behind him, meeting him in the middle of the driveway in nothing but tiny shorts and a stolen crewneck of his that she'd haphazardly stuffed into her luggage. “I love you. I love you more than I could probably ever explain, and I— I just need you to know that. If you’re done with me or done with this, that’s okay, I just need you to know that I love you.” 
“I love you. Always.” He whispers, lips trembling with sadness. 
“You know I always will, right?” She asks, placing a warm hand onto his wet and cold cheek.
“I know, baby. I do.” He says. 
“I’m here whenever you want me. I promise.” She pleads, coming up to reach his lips, placing a soft kiss to his cold ones. 
“Come home, please.” 
“Always, H. I’ll always come right back home to you.”
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juyeonszn · 9 months
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SACRIFICE (EAT ME UP)
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PAIRING lee hyunjae x f!reader
WORD COUNT 9.17k
GENRES horror ﹒ smut ﹒ angst ﹒ fluff ig?
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, mentions of murder, descriptions of crime scenes, mentions of blood, mentions of knifes, graphic description of stab wounds, mentions of potential mental illness, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CONSTITUTE WARNINGS BUT ?!1?1 I DONT WANT TO SPOIL !1!2!2, Lots of Kissing, mutual masturbation (f! receiving fingering & m! receiving hand job), pillow talk ig, big dick hyunjae 😈, um unprotected sex lol be safe u silly geese, car sex, cowgirl position yeehaw, creampie, this entire fic is just a whole fucking roller coaster i stg it’s gonna haunt me forever
SUMMARY with a serial killer running rampant on campus, everyone around you seems to be dropping like flies. but, hey, at least you have hyunjae to protect you.
MORE omg.. my first written work for tbz 🙀 extra super fun fact; this was originally an idea i had for hyunjin from skz on my other blog that i actually started writing the week before halloween last year (the reason it’s a horror fic), but i never finished and sort of felt like there was no point in continuing it after a while— that is until i stumbled upon the draft a few weeks ago and decided to revamp, edit, and complete it 😋 i kept going back and rereading and then blanking when i wanted to add to it until last night when i said fuck it and drank two cups of coffee to power through the end 🙌 anyways.. here u all go, my baby that i never thought would see the light of day and my first time writing a genuine horror piece <3 also special shoutout to rina my soulmate @tsukidou for beta reading 🫶
PLAYLIST sacrifice (eat me up) — enhypen, awake — the boyz, roar — the boyz, fever — enhypen, fate — enhypen, taste — stray kids, wake up — ateez, white noise — pvris, heaven — pvris
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“Alright, that’s all for today’s lecture. If this was your last of the day, make sure to find someone to go home with and remember the curfew rules!” Your English professor says, concluding the class.
The students around you rush to pack up their things and get off of campus as soon as possible. You don’t seem to be in a hurry, though, taking your time to put away your notebook and laptop. Your roommates were still in their music production class, so you didn’t want to go home alone, deciding to wait until they were done.
“Y/N, don’t you wanna get home?” Professor Park asks, her voice echoing in the now empty lecture hall. She throws the strap of her bag over her shoulder and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“I do, but I have to wait for my roommates. They’re in a class right now and I’d rather not go by myself.” You let out an awkward laugh. She nods at your reasoning, giving you a small smile for comfort.
“Okay, you be careful! I’ll see you on Thursday.”
You raise your hand in a silent salutation, watching as she exits the room, leaving you completely alone. Though a public space, in a public building, the fact that there’s no one else nearby leaves you utterly unsettled. Your stomach churns with a twinge of fear and you start to feel a bit claustrophobic despite being in such a spacious area, so you choose this point to hurriedly collect your belongings and get the hell out of there.
The past couple of months have been in this weird state of limbo. You don’t recall exactly when the killings started, but once the police noticed a pattern, everyone knew sooner or later that the presence of a serial murderer would be announced on the local news. Your town enforced a citywide curfew to protect its citizens, but mostly the students at your university.
Every single one of the killer’s victims were university students. You were friends with a bunch of guys and while it was nice having big strong men surrounding you, you knew that could hardly do anything to quell the lingering anxiety you’ve felt ever since the spree began.
The police seemed to be having trouble coming up with any possible suspects, or even gaining any leads, thanks to the killer’s unusual victimology and the cool down time between murders always varying. If the people in charge of protecting you couldn’t do that, how were you supposed to feel safe?
In an attempt to get to the building where Jacob, Kevin, and Eric were as fast as you could, you speed walk out of the lecture hall, accidentally bumping into someone. You bow at a nearly ninety-degree angle and hurl out apology after apology following the collision, not trying to make any enemies in this day and time.
“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” The stranger spits, waiting for you to glance up at him to give you a nasty glare. He looks like the kind of guy who thought he was all that, despite peaking in high school. You feel your bottom lip quiver and you avoid eye contact.
“I—”
“Woah, dude, chill the fuck out. It was an accident, I’m sure she didn’t— wait, N/N, is that you? Hey it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
There’s a familiar voice in your ears and a hand under your chin, forcing you to stand upright. Whoever you bumped into walks away with a scoff. You meet eyes with Lee Hyunjae, one of your dearest friends. He recognizes that hint of panic in your features and he frowns.
“I’m so sorry, Jae, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going—” Your breath is caught in your throat and you fumble over your words.
“Hey, hey, slow down,” he keeps a hold on your biceps. “It’s alright, I promise. He’s gone. What’s wrong?”
You shut your eyes tightly, feeling pathetic for causing such a scene for no apparent reason. Hyunjae guides you through your breathing, his focus trained on you the whole time. He always made you feel so comfortable.
“With everything that’s been going on, I’m just so paranoid and afraid of being alone. I wanted to go to the music department building and wait for the boys.” You finally explain once you’ve calmed down and the rise of your chest is even.
“How about this? I’ll take you home so you don’t have to stay on campus any longer.” He suggests, bringing up a hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. You nod slowly, gathering your bearings.
Hyunjae leads you to his car that’s parked in the lot closest to the building you were just in and the two of you make your way to your apartment. You’d been friends with your roommates for years now, meeting in eighth grade. You had just moved schools and happened to be put into a class with Eric Sohn, the most rambunctious boy you’d ever met. He thought you seemed really sweet upon first impression and decided to befriend you, introducing you to all of his friends in turn.
Aside from Eric, there was Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon, Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin, Changmin, Chanhee, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo. While it was a little overwhelming, it was nice going from zero friends to eleven in the span of just a couple days. You were pretty close to all of them, but you and Hyunjae initially hit it off the best. You understood each other on a different level than everyone else and to this day, you still don't know the exact reason why.
Towards the end of high school, your friendship with Hyunjae transformed into something that wasn’t purely platonic. You weren’t entirely sure when it started to change, but your feelings for him grew exponentially. You tried to keep them to yourself, hidden from the world to preserve your fragile teenage heart. Though you’d already been friends with them a few years at that point, you still had that inkling of dread in the pit of your stomach that one day they’d choose to stop talking to you. You especially didn’t want a silly crush to be the cause of that.
After a while, however, the lines began to blur together anyway and everyone could tell you felt for him romantically. Once, Eric had made a comment about it being so painfully obvious that Hyunjae was just as into you and it nearly shook your whole world.
When college time rolled around, you all knew you’d be attending the same university, so picking roommates was a bit of a tricky situation. You chose yours solely based on the fact that you were majoring in similar things, so it’d be easy to fit schedules together. (You also couldn’t handle being roommates with Hyunjae; it’d be too much for your heart.) Hyunjae lived with Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo, while Sangyeon, Younghoon, Chanhee, and Haknyeon lived together.
Hyunjae parks in a spot near the stairs that lead to your unit. The car is still running when you unbuckle your seatbelt and you stare at the steps blankly. Though the close proximity with him has your pulse racing, you want nothing more than some company until your roommates get home. You turn to him shyly, balling up a fistful of your sweater.
“Jae, do you— do you think you could stay with me for a bit before the boys come back? I don’t— I really don’t wanna be alone right now.”
The look he gives you is full of adoration, like you personally put the stars in the sky. He smiles softly and nods, reaching across the center console to place a comforting hand on top of yours. The two of you keep them intertwined as you go inside your apartment, locking all the locks carefully before sitting on your couch.
You don’t make a comment about him not letting go despite already being in the safety of your home. You don’t say anything about him pulling you into his side either, mostly because you want him to.
With all that’s been happening recently, you’ve felt so hollow. There was this indescribable emptiness expanding in you and even though you so desperately wanted to chalk it up to something else, you knew it was due to the fact that there was growing anxiety that you could be next, that any of your friends could be next. You were starting to move like you were in a simulation, doing everything in your daily routine without a single emotion. Sure, you’d laugh when Eric made a stupid joke but that’s about the most anyone could get from you aside from the occasional panic attack.
Hyunjae being here and holding you is exactly what you needed to feel some semblance of warmth again.
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There’s a soft knock on your bedroom door around eight that same night, waking you from your slumber. You don’t remember falling asleep or being moved to your bed, so you’re not too sure when Hyunjae left. You rub the sleep from your eyes as you get up to open your door.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you, but we got some takeout if you’re hungry.” Jacob says with an apologetic smile, leaning on the door frame.
You give him a bleary look as you nod, following him into the dining room where your other two roommates were sitting at the table. Eric greets you through a full mouth. A small laugh escapes you when you sit across from him, Kevin adjacent to your seat. The sound of the TV in the living room plays as background noise as the four of you eat.
“So when’d you get home? I thought you were gonna wait for us.” Kevin asks.
“I was, but then I ran into Hyunjae when I was on my way to your building and he offered to bring me home,” you shrug, taking some tteokbokki with your chopsticks. “It was a whole thing, please don’t ask.”
Eric hums to himself, a mischievous grin on his face as he takes a sip of his cola. “Interesting. And you say he’s not into you…”
Heat blooms over your cheeks and you accidentally drop your chopsticks on your plate, their clacking against the ceramic garnering your roommates’ attention. Eric Sohn was now number one on your hit list. Kevin elbows him in the side and tells him to be quiet, despite the tiny upwards curve of his lips.
“If he cares about you as much as he seems like he does, he wouldn’t have left you here alone after you fell asleep,” Jacob mutters, looking at you from his peripherals. “What was the point of escorting you home if—”
“Jacob shut the fuck up,” Eric suddenly blurts, the three of you stare at him as he clambers over to the living room, turning up the volume on the TV. “Look!”
You turn in your chair, your stomach churning at the news report unfolding before you.
“We’re live just outside SNU, where another victim has been found. The body hasn’t been identified yet, but from what we do know, he was a student that attended the school,” the female reporter says into the microphone she’s holding, a glazed over expression in her eyes. “Crime Scene Investigators believe he was murdered at around six this evening, and was assumed to have been making his way home from campus. Updates are expected to come later tonight once we have more information.”
You know that far away, checked out gaze she had all too well. She’s reported on the killings for a while now, no doubt numb to the way things were at this point.
Your appetite spoils immediately and you excuse yourself from the table, making your way back to your room. You sit on your bed and bring your knees to your chest, taking a deep breath in, then covering your mouth when you breathe out to muffle the sob that follows. It was becoming too overwhelming for you and there was nothing you could do about it besides sit back and watch.
It was understandable for anyone in your situation to feel hopeless, how could they not? With someone terrorizing the city in an unpredictable manner, there was no sense of normalcy in anyone’s life. You shudder when you finally bring yourself to stop crying, digging your nails into the fat of your calves.
Through the walls, you can hear the boys talking, voices solemn.
“Why’d you have to put the TV louder, dumbass?”
“Sorry, I just like being up to date on the case, you know? I want to be prepared. What if I need to learn clone jutsu to take out the guy?”
“Eric, you’re such a clown, oh my god.”
“I get that you’re interested and all, but you have to be mindful of Y/N. You know how much this has affected her both emotionally and physically, she doesn’t need the constant reminder that it’s happening. And I’d appreciate if you apologized for telling me to ‘shut the fuck up’.”
There’s a snort in between.
“My bad, I didn’t mean to be rude about it. But while we’re on the topic, I think we both need to admit our mistakes. What you said about Hyunjae to her wasn’t cool either. I know we’re all friends, but it just came across too—”
“It was really snappy, Jacob. And a bit petty.”
“Yeah! What Kevin said.”
“I— you’re right. I just don’t want her getting hurt, in more ways than one.”
You don’t hear much else from the trio and sigh heavily, dragging your hands down your face and wiping your eyes with the heels of your palms. You grab your phone from your nightstand and hesitantly search for Hyunjae’s contact, the line ringing a couple times before he answers.
“Y/N? Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“N-no, I’m fine. I was just— I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay,” you mess with your bottom lip. “I heard there was another victim and I didn’t know when you left the apartment, so I just— uh— I just needed to know that you were safe. I called to see if you’d answer.”
You squeeze your eyes shut out of embarrassment, even if he can’t exactly see you. The stuttering was enough to make you go into hiding for the rest of your life if this serial killer didn’t.
“Oh,” you can hear the slight chuckle in his response from the way his breath hits the speaker. “It means a lot that you’d do that, N/N. Really, I appreciate you so much.”
Your lip finds itself between your teeth and your heart is pounding unbearably fast, you think you might be having a heart attack. You bring a hand up to clutch at your chest as a fuzzy feeling courses through your whole being.
Now you were scared for an entirely different reason.
(The main one occupies your mind again later that night when you scroll through your Twitter feed, only to find out the most recent victim was the guy you accidentally bumped into. You feel like some sick version of a guardian angel was looking after you. It makes it hard to fall asleep after that.)
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A couple days passed and you found yourself thinking about Lee Hyunjae more than usual.
Not to say that you didn’t already think about him at least once a day, but now it was worse. When you woke up, you wondered if he was still asleep. While you drank your morning coffee, you wondered if it’d taste sweeter had he made it for you. When you had lunch, you wondered if he’d like the spam musubi you made yourself. When you attended your other classes, you wondered which courses he was struggling with this semester.
As you were walking out of your English class, you recalled running into him. Had he not been there, you might’ve driven yourself insane trying to rush over to the music building while diffusing the issue with that stranger.
When you first began to harbor feelings for him, you assumed it would become nothing more than a silly schoolgirl crush. He was attractive and kind to you, but that was just the bare minimum— you thought you’d grow out of it. However, as time went on, what you thought was just puppy love had blossomed into something stronger. It was a force to be reckoned with.
Of course, all of that had been tossed on the back burner with everything that’s going on. Recently you’ve been too afraid for your own safety and well-being to over analyze your interactions with Hyunjae, but now you’re back to square one.
All because he’d done something nice for you.
God, the bar was so low. Was it really too much to ask for someone who was decent? Someone who wasn’t a serial killer?
You were on your way to the music building to wait for Jacob, Kevin, and Eric once again, when you see Hyunjae coming down the hall. He’s on his phone, not paying any mind to his surroundings. You’re about to call out to him when someone stops you, tugging on the sleeve of your sweater gently.
“Hey, Y/N right?” The tall boy asks, a charming smile on his face.
“Uh— yeah,” you nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Y-you are?”
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I must seem like a total weirdo,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m Mingyu! We have English together.”
“Oh, you’re Mingyu? Professor Park told me about you before class today,” you give him a small comforting smile. “I don’t mind helping you!”
“Ah, that’s great to hear. I was a bit worried you’d be more annoyed about having to tutor someone so late in the semester.” Though he’s much taller than you and approached you first, Mingyu comes across as a little shy in nature. It puts you at ease in a way.
“No, not at all! English isn’t always the easiest, I get that. I wanna help as much as I can before finals. Look,” you pause, pulling your backpack off one shoulder to rip out a sheet of paper. “I’ll give you my number so we can arrange meet up dates! I’d prefer if we met at the library if that’s okay with you?”
Mingyu grins and sports a thumbs up in agreement. “That sounds perfect. Thank you so much, Y/N!”
You scribble your phone number onto the paper and hand it to him before parting ways. With the off guard conversation, you nearly forgot about Hyunjae, who was nowhere to be seen now. You feel your lips droop into a frown, since you were hoping you could talk with him for a second.
As you’re walking across the quad to the music building, a wind chill blows past you, making you wrap your arms around yourself. It was mid November and for some stupid reason, you were only wearing a small cardigan.
When you squint up at the sky, you also realize it’s more overcast than anything. There’s an angry grey cloud right above you and you curse yourself for not having an umbrella or a raincoat. You should've been more prepared, especially because of the inconsistent weather this time of year.
Suddenly, the sky is blocked from your view and you furrow your brows, spinning around. Hyunjae stares back at you with a smile ten times warmer than the frigid air surrounding you and a thicker jacket in one hand. The other holds up an umbrella just as tiny droplets begin to fall from above.
His timing couldn’t have been better.
“Heading to the music building?” He asks, skillfully placing the coat on your shoulders.
“Mhm… was gonna wait for the boys.” You respond, a little awestruck by how gorgeous he was. Especially up close. Your eyes fixate on the freckle on his nose rather than his own. He hums, keeping an arm around your shoulders as he leads you in a different direction.
“I can take you home again,” he glances down at you. “I don’t mind one bit.”
“O-okay!”
During the car ride to your apartment, you send a quick text to your roommates about not waiting up. You were happy that your relationship with Hyunjae was evolving. The past couple semesters had been rough, and you hadn’t seen him or any of the other guys nearly as much as Jacob, Kevin, and Eric. (And that was only because you lived with them.)
You toss your keys on to the mini table beside the front door, taking off your shoes with a small groan. The boots were cute, but not very comfortable. Hyunjae follows suit, his sock clad feet shuffling against the floor to sit on the couch.
After switching on the TV, you find a random Hallmark Christmas movie to play in the background, knowing full well that his presence beside you was too distracting. The brunette turns to face you, placing a hand on your thigh gently to get your attention.
“So, who was the dude you were talking to earlier?”
You blink at his question. So he saw you after all. Was he perhaps jealous? The idea shouldn’t make you giddy, but it does. “My professor asked me to tutor him ‘cause he’s struggling with English. Why?”
“Just curious. He seemed a little touchy.” Hyunjae plays with the hem of your sweater.
“O-oh. It’s fine, he wasn’t a random perv, if that’s what you were wondering.”
He scoots a little closer to you, tucking some hair behind your ear. You feel your face flush impossibly hotter. Your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat. His body heat radiates off of him with the new proximity.
“Good. It drives me crazy seeing other guys put their hands on you.” He admits bluntly, his hand resting at the junction where your neck meets your shoulder.
You know you look insane, your chest heaving up and down and your eyes widened a little. Like a baby deer caught by a predator. Who knew sweet sweet Hyunjae had a rather risqué side to him? You swallow thickly, not daring to move an inch. His thumb caresses your skin gently, goosebumps littering in its wake.
“Hyunjae…” You breathe, lips parting as you finally make eye contact with him.
“You’re so pretty, Y/N.”
You want to scream into the cushion behind you, your hands clamming up. Hyunjae looks like he could swallow you whole if he wanted to, his bottom lip between his teeth as he leans in a bit more. This moment was something straight out of one of your darkest fantasies. You never thought this would ever happen, that either of you would ever actually make a move on the other.
The sound of the front door unlocking catches both of your attention. Hyunjae pulls away from you faster than your brain can comprehend what exactly just occurred. Jacob is the first to walk in, laughing at something Eric said. The three males pause when they see you’re not alone.
The greetings are quick, Hyunjae dapping up the boys as if nothing. He’s also quick to say goodbye, ensuring them that he’ll make sure you’re safe when they’re not around. He gives you that smile of his, the one where his eyes form crescents, and then he’s gone.
You don’t know how much more of this you could take.
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“So, Y/N…” Eric starts in the middle of dinner, side eyeing you as he shovels rice into his mouth. “You and Hyunjae have been together an awful lot lately.”
Kevin snorts, kicking the blonde under the table. You suppose it was going to come up eventually. This ‘Will They, Won’t They’ back and forth shit was starting to tire you out. You weren’t getting any younger. Time was passing you up the longer you waited to just say something. And with all that’s been going on, it was silly to be afraid of admitting your feelings.
“He’s being a good friend, Eric,” Jacob sighs, reaching across to flick him on the forehead. “It’s actually really nice that he watches over Y/N when we’re gone.”
Eric grimaces, rubbing the spot that Jacob assaulted. You frown a bit when you realize that he had a point. Hyunjae was treating you like a child that had to be tended to, babysitting you like you weren’t capable of holding your own. Granted, both times he’s come over, you asked him to. So you couldn’t really blame him for assuming you wanted him around to protect you.
“Do y’all think Hyunjae actually likes me? In a non-platonic way?”
Kevin’s spoon clatters onto the floor and they all pause their banter to look at you. Every time your feelings for Hyunjae were brought up, you chose to ignore them and switch the subject. You can’t keep running away.
“Uh— yeah. Duh. Of course he does. I don’t know anyone else who would go out of their way to stay with someone they saw as just a friend multiple times a week so she felt safe.” Kevin finally answers after a moment.
“Okay.” You settle on, taking a sip of your water.
“What do you mean ‘okay’?” He raises an eyebrow at you, but you just shrug.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
As you’re washing the dishes after dinner, you hear the news broadcast over the faucet. Another victim had just been found behind the campus library. The camera shows the scene behind the reporter, something that would’ve made you queasy a couple days ago, but now you feel nothing— just a dull ache in your chest. It’s messy, almost like the killer was in a hurry to get it over with.
The body is covered with a black tarp, paramedics wheeling it away in the corner of the screen. The reporter still wears that dissociated expression on her face as she goes over the details of this victim. She explains that because the murder was done so haphazardly, they were able to identify the body easily.
Twenty three year old Kim Mingyu, Sports Med Major.
The rest of the news report sounds like static in your ears as you scrub away at the dishes mindlessly. Your fingers have pruned and the water was burning the backs of your hands, but you don’t feel it, too checked out to care. It seemed like the killings were getting closer and closer to you. Part of you thought you’d be next every single time.
You had to tell Hyunjae how you felt. It was now or never.
Fifteen minutes later, he’s waiting outside of your apartment complex, leaning against his car. You take careful steps down the stairs, nearly fainting at the sight of him in a hoodie and grey sweatpants. He runs around the car to open the passenger door for you, only shutting it when you’re all buckled up. It’s not long after that he revs the engine and drives off to nowhere in particular, just like you requested. (Curfew ignored.)
It’s silent at first, save for the low hum of his music, R&B that resonates somewhere within your soul. You can’t help but steal a glance from your peripheral, fisting your sweatshirt when you see how concentrated he looks while driving. He has his right hand resting on the gear shift, the other gripping the wheel. You could’ve had this view all to yourself so long ago had you just spoken up.
“Hyunjae,” your voice is wobbly, but you steel yourself to continue. “I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Do you think— uh— do you think you could pull over?” If you were going to confess, you wanted him to look at you. Besides, the drive was starting to make you jittery.
He nods and goes a bit further, before pulling into an empty lot. He shifts into park, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could turn his body towards you, giving you his undivided attention. You mirror him, tightening your hold on your sweater when he wets his lips, smiling at you. “Is this what you called me for?”
“Yeah, actually,” you force yourself to keep eye contact, pushing the lump back down your throat. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for years now, if I’m being honest with both of us.”
He chuckles, much like he did the other night over the phone. It drives you just a little crazy. “I’m listening.”
“I— I don’t know how to word this properly…” You wipe your palms on your legs. Come on, Y/N, spit it out already. “Fuck, okay, I like you Hyunjae. Like, really like you. In the way that I sometimes wish you would kiss me until I can’t breathe. I’ve been so afraid of admitting that to myself, but I’ve realized that life is way too short to dwell over the fear of rejection. But please, tell me you feel the same.”
He stares at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. You feel like throwing up now, you stomach twisting and churning at the thought that you just ruined everything between you. There was no going back after this. He knew.
It’s as if months have passed by in utter silence with Hyunjae just sitting there, no words coming out of his mouth, until finally, he just leans across the center console, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. His vision is trained on your lips, his face close enough that his lashes flutter against your skin. God, he was even more gorgeous from this distance.
Instead of saying anything, he presses his lips to yours, a sweet but desperate kiss that melts away all the worries tucked into your head. They feel so soft on your own, molding together in near perfect timing. It’s like you’d been living for a year without rain and this kiss was the shower that saved you from a drought. It’s all you’ve ever wanted and needed and more.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he breathes when he pulls away slightly. “The real thing is so much better than I imagined it would be.”
For once, time slows down in this moment, almost like the world stopped spinning on its axis. Everything slips from your mind and it’s just you and Hyunjae, here in his car in the middle of an empty parking lot. Nothing else matters. You smile at his confession, a genuine smile that was spurred on by contentment rather than force. You felt light and airy, no longer weighed down by such a trivial problem.
“I think I have an idea,” you giggle, reaching up to brush a stray hair from his face. “I’m not too sure, though, I could be wrong. Could you do that again to help jog my memory?”
Hyunjae laughs, (it’s the most melodic sound you’ve ever heard) but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. You reciprocate his passion, tangling your fingers in his dark hair. He sighs into the kiss, pulling you on top of him. Your legs straddle his lap as best as they can and he reaches down to recline his seat, scooting it as far as it can go from the wheel. The thin material of your fleece shorts hardly hide the feeling of him under you, a low moan pushing into his mouth.
He nips at your bottom lip, tugging at it with his teeth gently before peppering kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking along the exposed skin from your sweatshirt. You whine, throwing your head back as his tongue soothes over the bruising area. His hands slide under your top, rubbing up and down your sides before moving them down to your thighs, repeating the action.
“You’re so gorgeous on top of me like this, Y/N.” Hyunjae says, just above a whisper like someone else might hear this intimate conversation. He grips your hips and bucks upwards to grind into your clothed core. Your eyes widen and you involuntarily moan at the sensation. This wasn’t what you were expecting when you planned to confess, but you didn’t hate the outcome. He grins at your response, reconnecting your mouths sloppily.
If you were given the choice, you were wholeheartedly satisfied with just this. You would’ve been plenty okay with just making out. Had you been asked years ago that you’d even get this far, you would’ve snorted in your own face, so why should you be greedy and want more than what you had? (That’s not to say that you didn’t.)
“H-Hyunjae,” you stutter, your brain foggy from all of the kissing you just did. “Do you…?”
You trail off, not sure how to word your question. You didn’t want to come off like a sex crazed maniac, but you didn’t want to come off like an amateur virgin either. Truth of the matter is, you were neither, but it had been a while since you indulged yourself in something of this sort. And this time it would be with Hyunjae, the one person you never thought you’d do this with. You were nervous.
All you wanted was to be entwined with him in more ways than one. You wanted all of him— the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the sick, the healthy. He could do no wrong on your eyes and you wanted to show him that.
“Do I…?” Hyunjae trails off, waiting for you to continue.
“Do you want to make love… with me?” This had to be the single most mortifying moment of your life. You cover your face in humiliation, shying away from him when he sits up on his elbows.
“What kind of question is that?” He asks with a chuckle, prying your hands from your face so he could look you in the eyes. “If I could make love to you every hour of the day, for seven days a week, I would. I want you all the time, Y/N. Earlier today, before we got interrupted, I wanted to do unimaginable things to you.”
You hide yourself in the crook of his neck, your skin flushing hotter. Weren't you wearing too many layers? The car was starting to feel stuffy. Hyunjae’s chest rumbles with laughter beneath you, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. This is probably the gentlest he’d be with you all night, because from what you could infer, he was a manhandler.
“Take care of me,” you breathe, mouth brushing against his pulse point. “Please.”
Hyunjae stops holding himself back. He’d do whatever you asked of him, only hoping you’d be tied to him in every lifetime, just like this one. He kisses you again with an unrivaled fervor, slipping his hands inside your sweatshirt and touching you everywhere physically possible. They’re warm on your skin, palming your breasts over the flimsy fabric of your bralette.
He helps you get rid of your top and shorts, leaving you in just undergarments. The sight of you barely clothed sends him into a frenzy, especially knowing it’s for his eyes only. You aid Hyunjae in pulling off his hoodie and yanking his sweatpants down his long legs. The minute most of your restrictions are gone, Hyunjae brings you closer to him. He hisses at the contact, the warmth of your cunt through your panties putting him under a spell.
You whimper when his touch travels down your front, sneaking into the waistband of your underwear. The pads of his middle and ring fingers apply the lightest amount of pressure onto your clit the second he finds it, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your nails on one hand dig into his shoulder while the other trails down his abdomen, rubbing up and down his length through his boxer briefs.
Hyunjae groans into your kiss and you gasp for air as you tear from him, resting your forehead on his to watch as you get each other off through your clothes. If earlier was something taken from one of your wet dreams, what did this constitute as? You clench around nothing when he pushes up into you, your wrists clashing. Knowing he was just as down bad for you as you were for him just made this all that much more real.
“I need to feel you around me,” he mumbles in your ear, dipping his fingers in and out of you languidly as if to explain what he meant. “Let me stretch you out.”
You nod in response, fumbling with his briefs. Hyunjae lifts his hips enough for you to help him out of them. You groan when he reveals his impressive size, wondering how exactly he expected you to take him. He pushes your panties to the side, mimicking the sound you just made when he sees your bare pussy drooling for him. You eventually get frustrated and line him up with your hole, sinking down in one fluid motion. A voluminous moan escapes from the back of your throat, his dick throbbing achingly inside of you. At first you stay still like that, your pelvises touching as you adjust to his length and girth.
“H-holy shit— you’re s-so deep, Jae,” you cry, resting your forehead against his yet again. He pecks your lips, holding onto your hips to help you bounce on his cock, practically impaling you every single time.
“Fuck, you’re taking me so well. Such a good fucking girl,” Hyunjae grunts, the warmth of your walls drawing him in even further. “So tight, too.”
Your thighs begin to burn and your movements become slower, which he takes note of instantaneously. He bends his knees and forces your upper half impossibly closer to him, thrusting up into you. This new angle allows him to find that one spongy spot that has you seeing stars, fogging up your brain and even your vision.
You cast a downward glance at the minimal space between where the two of you are connected. Your moans and whines grow louder with the view of every thrust of his hips into yours. Hyunjae sneaks his hand in the middle of you, his fingers expertly toying with your clit. Any more stimulation and the band in your stomach is snapping.
You’ve had sex before. You’ve slept with a handful of other guys in the past, but nothing could ever compare to this moment. Your cunt had already memorized his size and every vein, effectively ruining the chances of any other man doing this with you. Lee Hyunjae had you in a chokehold whether he realized it or not. He had you wrapped around his finger without really trying, but you could never complain.
Your walls squeeze his cock and he knows he won’t last much longer, shutting his eyes tightly. “C’mon baby, you gonna cum for me?”
“Mhm,” you whimper, your skin flush on his own. “Wanna cum so bad for you, Hyunjae.”
“Yeah? Me too, sweetheart,” he pants, the thumb on your hip pressing against the bone. “Where do you want me?”
“Inside,” you babble. “Please, please. I want you to cum inside me, Hyunjae.”
He kisses you softly just then, swallowing your pretty moans with something completely opposite of what he’s already given you, and that’s what sends you spiraling, fluttering around him. He groans, spilling into you and letting you milk him dry of everything he has to offer, painting your insides just like you asked him to.
You lay like that for a while, Hyunjae’s dick still buried in you to the hilt. Both of you attempt to catch your breaths and bring yourselves down from the well-anticipated euphoric state you just visited. You giggle at the condensation coating the windows of his car, extending your arm to draw a heart and a smiley face with your finger. He slowly pulls himself out, hissing at the sensitivity, but doesn’t make a move to get you off of his chest.
Where do you go from here? A line had just been crossed and you weren’t entirely sure you knew what he wanted from you. It’s one thing to imagine kissing and fucking someone extensively. But it was another to actually want a tangible, romantic relationship from them, to actually capacitate feelings for them.
“I love you,”
You jolt up and stare at him with widened eyes. Did those words really just come out of his mouth? As if he can read your mind, he nods. There’s a dragged out sigh, followed by him sitting up slightly with you perched on his lap.
“I really do, Y/N. I’ve felt this way for years and I’m willing to do anything for you.” He admits, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You kiss him gently, the pad of your thumb swiping across his cheekbone.
“I love you, too.”
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The Saturday after your night in Hyunjae’s car brought everything into perspective for you.
You hadn’t spoken to him since he dropped you off at your apartment and it was beginning to worry you. Even though you made sure he reciprocated your emotions, there still could’ve been a misunderstanding. Had you been too forward? Did you scare him away? Did something happen to him? Whatever the explanation was, you didn’t like the eerie feeling it started brewing in your stomach— it was foreboding.
In spite of not talking to them at all in what seemed to be a month or so, you tried calling each of your mutual friends to see if you could get some answers. Not even his roommates picked up their phones and this made you much more uneasy. You pace back and forth in your living room, nicking at your bottom lip with your nails. Why did he choose now of all times to ghost you? What went wrong?
Kevin comes out of his bedroom a couple minutes later, expecting to grab his morning coffee as usual. When he finds you nearly on the brink of insanity instead, he decides to intervene. He supposed his caffeine could wait until his best friend was calmed down. You jump in surprise, holding a fist to your chest. He raises his hands in mock surrender.
“Didn’t mean to startle you, my bad. What’s up? Why do you look like you’re going through a quarter life crisis?” Kevin asks you, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Is everything okay?”
“I—“ you pause and take a deep breath. “I don’t know…”
His eyebrows furrow and he guides you to the sofa so you could sit down. “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”
“Hyunjae hasn’t talked to me since Thursday night, after he brought me back here,” your voice is hoarser than you’d like it to be. “I-I texted and called him a bunch but he hasn’t replied. I even— I even tried Juyo, Sunwoo, and Changmin. No luck with them either. I’m concerned, Kev.”
Kevin combs through his hair, pursing his lips in thought. “Yeah, okay, I would be too. It's a little weird that none of them are responding. Have you thought of just showing up at his place to check in on him?”
You shake your head. “No, I didn’t want him to think I’m clingy and annoying in case he was there. What if he just wants to get me off of his back and he’s telling them to ignore me?”
“I don’t think that’s the case at all, Y/N,” your friend sighs, putting his glasses on top of his head and running a hand down his face. “Hyunjae has never been that kind of person in all the years we’ve known him. I highly doubt he’d switch up now. Plus, he’s literally crazy about you. I’m pretty sure the guy would move heaven and earth for you if he could. I think there’s a very real and genuine possibility that something is seriously wrong. It’s like— it’s just a gut feeling, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” If Kevin felt this way, too, that would only mean one thing, right? You had to get to the bottom of this. There was a chance that lives depended on it. A quick roll of your neck and you’re standing. “I’m gonna go over there. I can’t leave things unanswered. I can’t wait for a fucking news report.”
The ravenette pats the top of your head. “Be careful, N/N. Please.”
You give him a nod before you’re slipping into your shoes and grabbing his car keys. You’re not exactly dressed for a confrontation if there is one— clad in a pair of sweatpants, an oversized sweatshirt with your university’s crest on it, and socks with sandals— but you were too preoccupied to care.
The drive itself was mentally taxing, your brain dissociating most of the ride. You’re not sure how many of the lights you passed were actually green. The closer you got to Hyunjae’s apartment, the more that trepidation settling in your lower abdomen grew. Throughout your life, you’d never been the type of person who acted on instinct or had a nagging voice in the rear of your head warning you about situations you got into. You usually went with the flow and if you made a mistake, you allowed yourself to learn from it.
However, that was prior to being thrown into a period of uncertainty like this one. Now, all you could do was act on instinct. All you could do was listen to the stupid nagging voice in the rear of your head yelling at you. All you could do was follow the blaring alarms and caution signs in your field of vision. And this time they were almost deafening.
Kevin’s car rolls to a stop outside of Hyunjae’s building, occupying an empty spot three away from the front of the stairs. Your pulse races when you step out of the vehicle and immediately recognize the cars in the spaces beside yours. Hyunjae’s, Juyeon’s, and Changmin’s. You notice a thin layer of dirt caking Juyeon and Changmin’s, as if they’d remained unmoved for a long time. Perturbed wasn’t a big enough word to describe what was going through your mind.
Half of you was terrified to take a step towards the stairs, let alone ascend them to Hyunjae’s floor. What would go down when you reached his apartment? What would happen the moment that door opened?
You ball your hands into fists, the edges of your nails jabbing the skin of your palms. The pain steels you enough to move forward, walking up the stairs slowly. There’s a chill tiptoeing along your spine the whole trip up, like your body knew what you were getting yourself into before you did. Maybe you were stupid. Only an idiot would lead themselves blindly into a scenario without knowing the outcome.
It’s been minutes of you staring at the slightly rusted numbers on Hyunjae’s door before you register that you’re standing in front of it. If you're being honest, you have no idea what you’re doing. You were acting on autopilot— progressing without a thought of what’s coming next. A shuddered breath leaves your lips and you raise your knuckles to the door.
The first knock is too soft to hear if the inhabitants were in their bedrooms, so you apply more force the second time. The sound reverberates through the hall, a wince appearing on your features. If someone was inside, surely they had to have heard that one. You wait a little longer for the door to swing open and reveal one of your friends looking perfectly fine. For Juyeon to showcase that grin of his that reaches his eyes and ask what you were doing here. For Changmin to give you that sweet smile that puffed up his cheeks and ask what you needed. For Sunwoo to blow a raspberry before he laughed at how silly you were for stressing over them. For Hyunjae to reassure you that it was all going to be okay, that he loved you. You were praying for that.
But no one showed up on the other end of that doorway and you were stuck glaring at that same painted board of wood.
That’s what sends your instincts into overdrive. Your hand grabs the knob, twisting it just in case. It makes a full rotation, pushing open the door the tiniest bit. You peek inside carefully and find all the lights in the living room and kitchen off. Your teeth bite down on your lip as you enter the apartment. One of the things you hated about it, was the annoying buzz of the fluorescent lights in their bathroom. And for some reason, that was all that infiltrated your ears.
The door for said bathroom was cracked just a tad at the end of the hallway, but what caught your attention was the room closest to you— also cracked the most miniscule amount. You see light filtering through, an almost orange glow like that of a desk lamp. Your stupidity would be your downfall, you conclude, your feet gravitating to the room. It’s Hyunjae’s you recall when you’re outside of it. They always say curiosity killed the cat, and you couldn’t help but revert to a feline and nudge it open with your foot.
You really wished that saying was just that— a saying.
Eric sits ahead of you, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. There’s a piece of fabric gagging his mouth and his clothes are tattered, blood staining nearly every inch. A long gash runs along his left bicep and a myriad of smaller cuts litter his face and arms. What your focus lands on first are the several deep stab wounds on his thighs.
A hand comes up to cup your mouth to keep yourself from screaming at the sight of your best friend in this position. He struggles against his restraints, muffled cries for your assistance shattering your heart into a thousand pieces like broken shards of glass. Tear streaks mixed with dried blood cover the apples of his cheeks.
“Oh my god, Eric,” your voice wobbles as you scramble to free him. “Oh my god…”
You pull down the fabric in his mouth first and he gasps for air. His eyes widen at something behind you and he warns, “Y/N—!” before he’s interrupted by your yelp. The person pressed into your back has their arm around your neck with a hold tight enough that you can’t escape, but loose enough that you can breathe, the blunt edge of a knife grazing the column of your throat.
“Tsk tsk, Youngjae. You should know that making so much noise when your killer’s not in the room just alerts them of suspicious activity. That’s survival 101, my friend. Isn’t that right, sweet sweet Y/N?”
No.
No. No. No. No. No.
This wasn’t happening.
This couldn’t be happening.
“Please, let her go, Hyunjae.” Eric begs. Hyunjae hums, nuzzling his nose in your hair. He rolls his eyes and scoffs after inhaling your scent, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“God, you’re a mouthy one. Not even Juyeon and Sunwoo were this chatty when I slit their throats— then again, it's not like they could talk much anyway.” He snorts.
You felt sick. You were lightheaded now, just at the thought of your friends gone. “W-why are you doing this?”
Hyunjae grumbles, pouting his lips. “Time for me to unravel my evil villain monologue, huh?” He slips a hand under your sweatshirt and pinches the side of your waist. “Well here it is; what you’re dying to know. The first incident was by complete accident, we were simply having a discussion about why he shouldn’t have been staring at your ass while his girlfriend was next to him at Jeong Jaehyun’s end of summer bonfire. The dude got pissed off that I called him out and tried to start a fight, but I shoved him so hard, he fell and hit his head on a rock. I just couldn’t find it in myself to feel bad about it so I left him there like nothing. From then on, anyone who came between us or remotely hurt you in any way wound up on the receiving end of this knife. Funny isn’t it? How you’re the one beneath it this time?”
It all began to fall into place once he laid the cards out on the table for you to read. The guy you ran into Tuesday after class. Poor Kim Mingyu, who just wanted to pass his English final. Your friends not picking up their phones. And supposedly it was all in the name of love.
“Y-you did that for me?”
“Of course, baby,” Hyunjae mutters into the shell of your ear. “I said I’d protect you didn’t I? I just want you all to myself.”
“What the fuck does that possessive bullshit have to do with me? What did it have to do with Juyo or Changmin or Sunwoo?” Eric cries. “Oh god, what about—?”
“Sangyeon, Hoon, Chanhee, Hak? Yeah, those four were taken care of way before my own roommates. You, obviously, were the chosen one this go around. Then it would be Kevin and lastly, Jacob. I planned on stopping after you three unless absolutely necessary.”
“How is any of this fucking necessary? You’re psychotic,” the blonde exclaims, still wriggling in his restraints. “Why would Y/N want you after all of this? Did you really believe she’d never find out about what you’ve done?”
Hyunjae glides the smooth edge of the blade against your skin and releases you from his grip, but takes a hold of your wrist, placing the handle in your grasp. He urges you forward, closer to Eric. “If she was scared of me, don’t you think she would’ve tried harder to escape me? Didn’t even blink when I held the knife to her neck.”
The brunette kisses your temple and you watch the fear in Eric’s eyes morph into defeat. “After everything we’ve been through? I’ve known you since eighth grade, Y/N. Eighth fucking grade. And this is how it ends?”
“H-he loves me,” you stutter, glancing at Hyunjae. “Don’t you?”
“You don’t kill your best friends out of love, Y/N! He’s insane! Please, don’t let him get into your head. You’re not that kind of person.” Eric attempts to reason.
Maybe you weren’t. Maybe you were. Who knows? That didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that Hyunjae loved you. He loved you so much that he’d kill for you. Over and over and over again.
It was kind of comical that you loved him all the same. You, too, would kill for him. Over and over and over again.
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© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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dadsbongos · 29 days
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i loved that denji one ty 😝🤘u said u've been wanting to write for him? ur in luck cuz i can only think about him 😎😎
how about (fem) reader is sick or something and denji's there to take care of her but like he sucks at it and he doesnt know the fever temps (cuz that'd be pretty funny)
or switched and reader takes care of sick denji :)
ok i know... i know you said him being bad at it is funny... but i think aki having forced him to become a good nurse is sillier
645 words -- not proofread :/
~~~
“I knew you were hot,” Denji wiggles the thermometer in front of your sweaty face, grinning despite the miserable downturn of your lips.
“Denji.”
“Sorry,” he huffs, studying the dial again and sucking air through his jagged teeth, “This is shit, though. You’re boiling.”
You nod sluggishly, “I know, Denji.”
“That’s seriously bad.”
“I know, Denji.”
He frowns, bending down to wring a towel through cool water before laying it over your forehead. Smoothing down the cloth just because he feels useless otherwise. Denji gnaws his bottom lip as he thinks, sitting on the edge of your bed to hold your clammy hand.
“Do you want soup?” he murmurs unsurely, watching you wince and swallow hard before nodding slowly. With a new and apparent objective in mind, Denji beams down at you before rushing off, “Okay!”
Soon after, he returns with an off-white bowl shaking in his hands before sitting beside you again on the bed. You blink up at him with crinkly, boogery eyes and croak out desperately, “...chicken noodle?”
“Chicken noodle,” Denji nods surely, spooning soup up and into your mouth, “I tried not to make the broth too hate.”
“Thanks, Denji.”
“‘Cuz if I burned your tongue I think I’d skin my hand.”
You chuckle weakly, sputtering phlegm and wheezing as you do before soothing a hand over your chest, “Thanks, Denji.”
“Yeah, ‘course,” he happily feeds you more soup, feeling his whole body go lighter and lighter the longer you go eating his food without throwing it up. He knows it’s a little strange, but he remembers eating all of Aki’s cooking because he wanted Aki to know he appreciated it -- and he prays now that you might have the same motivation.
“Tea,” you’re mostly mouthing the word, desperate to avoid harsh scratching against the sore spot in the back of your throat. 
“Tea!” he hugs the emptied bowl to his chest (still getting the drippy remnants of chicken noodle soup on his shirt), prepared to rush out of your shared bedroom before pausing, “With honey, right?”
You nod sluggishly, yawning into the open air.
Denji’s eyes light up excitedly, “Lots of honey, right?”
Again, you nod. More so to entertain Denji than anything.
When he returns, it's with a steaming mug and a spoon in his mouth. You point at the spoon with a shaky finger and he speaks clumsily around it, “Honey!” he plucks out the spoon and lays it in his lap when he sits to avoid setting it on your nice dresser. Then he hands the warm mug to you, “And honey here, for my honey.”
You grimace playfully, rasping a “corny”, before blowing into the tea and sipping. 
“‘s true,” he wants to lay down with you, but you’d whack him upright -- too stacked with preemptive guilt of spreading germs onto Denji to let him cuddle you. 
“My neck feels slimy…”
“Shit,” he feels over the folded cloth on your head, “It’s warm!” he dips his fingertips into the large bowl of water he kept to re-moisten the cloth, “Warm!”
Denji runs off to the bathroom and soaks the cloth in cold water to slick over your feverish forehead before refilling the water bowl. Your heavy eyes follow him through the doorways, he stumbles and his hands are unsteady but he’s helpful. You’re sure Aki whipped him into shape on one of his rare sick days. Then, the thought of Power strikes and you’re almost giggling aloud -- what a nightmare that Fiend would be if she got ill.
“Back!” Denji cheers, settling the bowl down and stirring a single finger through the iced water, “Nice and cold for ya. If you overheated that’d be bad.”
“I know, Denji.”
“‘Cuz I don’t want you sick anymore,” he pouts.
Soothed by good humor, you smile genuinely and wave off his worry, “I know, Denji.”
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mikalame · 7 months
Note
can u pls do 2007 tom and f!reader having an angry love confession that ends up with sex but it's the f!readers first time doing it? btw i love ur writing sooo much!! 🩷
First time
taglist: @violentnewmarley @saumspam
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"GOD ___, YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW HE WAS LOOKING AT YOU!" tom yells, trying to defend him from the situation he got himself into back at the club the two of them went to as the others were off doing something else.
"SO DOESN'T MEAN YOU PUNCH THE GUY, HE WAS NICE" ___ yells back confused on why tom punched the guy she was talking to, the guy who had been cracking jokes, though they weren't funny it was the thought that counts.
"SURE, THE ONLY REASON HE WAS NICE WAS CAUSE YOUR ASS WAS PRACTICAL BEGGING FOR ATTENTION" immetatly regretting what he said and pit formed in his stomach from the words, he really did feel bad, he was just so jealous and seeing you talk to that dimwit got him so angry, mabey it was the alcohol that made him lash out, thats what toms gonna blame it on.
"W-WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH HUH" "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND, FUCK I GET SO JEALOUS WHEN YOUR LAUGHING CAUSE SO IDIOT SAID SOME HALF ASS JOKE" He yells his eyes widening after realising what he had said, he stutters trying to back track before soft lips were on his own.
Realising she was kissing him he pushed back, opening his mouth making hers open as well making there tongues fight for dominance (ew), tom wins all the adrenaline from confessing forcing itself out.
He grabs her butt patting it signalling that he wanted her to jump up, she took the hint hopping up, his hands how holding her firmly as he walks them over to his room in the hotel.
They keep kissing when they're in the room before he chucks her on the bed, he crawls on top of her, his thigh opening her own up, placing his leg between the two just where she needed it.
His hands move slowly up her top, making sure that if she needed to say no she could but with no complainants he decides to go for it and grope her boob over her bra, snaking the other own to undo the clip, beofre sliding the straps off along with her top, throwing it over his shoulder, in one smooth motion he takes his own off aswell
when looking back at the girl he sees she has her arms covering her tits "i haven't done this before tom... im kinda nervous" she mutters looking away embarrassed, wondering if he would think less of her now that he knows shes a virgin.
"That ok baby, ill make sure you feel good, so good" he says kissing down her neck leaving purple marks on it, finding her sweet spot and attacking it wanting her so feel as good as possible.
"Move your arms baby please, i love all of you" he whispers into her neck pulling her arms away slowly.
Once her arms are fully pulled away they cling onto his neck tracing patterns onto his tan skin, focusing on the feeling hes giving her, her eyebrows knitted together mouth slightly apart, enough to let his know he doing a good job.
He pulls back to admire his handy work, her neck littered in different shades of purple. He leans down again placing soft kisses on her chest and stomach before reaching the wait line of her low-rise jeans, just hours before he wished about this moment and now he actually doing it, he prays to what ever god there is that this isnt a dream.
"Please tom i need you" she groans pulling her jeans off impatiently, leaving her panties on though wanting him to pull them off, he pulled them off slowly, not pulling his eyes for her own.
"Fuck Schatzi, you dont know what your doing to me" Tom groans before placing wet kisses around her inner thigh sucking slightly in some areas.
"Please tom, dont tease" she whines, moaning when he finally kiss where she needs it, her hands clinging on his dreads when he starts using his tongue, his nose budging against her clit sending waves of pleasure all though out her body.
She hears some groaning from tom, looking up from her spot seeing him grinding against the bed, his thick eyebrows knitted together, his hand slowly moving to her heat, a finger prodding at her entrance before sliding in when he pulls his face away from her heat.
"There we go baby" he praises slowly trusting his finger in and out using his other hand to rub tight circles on her clit, making her back arch up from the bed, Tom adds another feeling his finger pump in and out smoothly from her.
"Tom please hurry, want you now" she whines her hands gripping the bed sheets tightly, "i know baby but i need to stretch you out before, or else it gonna hurt like a bitch" tom chuckles to himself.
A few minutes of this goes by ___ whines and moans getting louder and louder turning tom on even more before she can even start to beg again he takes his fingers out licking them clean before undo his belt and taking him boxers and jeans off, instant relief washes over him as he cock hits his stomach.
He crawls on top of her again rubbing his tip over her pussy collecting her wetness before pressing into her warmth, groans make there way through his throat tilting his head back enjoying the feeling, his ears picking up the little squeal ___ did moving his head down to check that she was okay.
Her breathing was heavy, knitted eyebrows, and knuckles white from holding the sheets so tightly, Tom leans down whispering sweet praises into her ear rubbing her soft skin.
"Please move tommy" she gasps out trying to regain her breathing, her arms wrapped over his neck, scratching lightly when he did some shallow thrusts becoming harder when he really starts to fuck her.
She moans loudly, her hand trying to grip something frantically when tom starts going faster he whispers how good she feels.
"Ah, fuck tom, so good.." she trails off her eyes rolling back, he grabs her thighs pushing them onto her chest, now ploughing in and out.
"Ha, yes right there... oh god yes" She moans loud "yeah r-right there baby" he groans back the knot in his stomach forming faltering some of his thrusts.
"Tom im-im gonna-" her moan cuts her off, back arching and nails digging deeper into his skin is enough for him, he pumps into her a few more times riding out her high before quickly pulling out pumping himself a few times and then cumming all over her stomach.
"be mine" he whispers looking down at the girl who was wiping off his cum, his heart beating nervously, a fear of getting rejected bouncing all around his head.
"you really think that i would just give anybody my virginity tom, i was yours as soon as you kissed back" she giggles kissing him sweetly.
Hope you guys like, i have major writers block so im really glad for this request please send more love you all
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munsonsprincess11111 · 2 months
Text
What now.
Eddie munson x reader
Summary: your Jim hoppers daughter and Eddie gets arrested by him. So you go down to the station to see him when hopper tells u. Keeping Eddie company while you wait for Wayne to bail him out.
You wake up Saturday morning going to the kitchen to make breakfast. Your dad comes walking out already dressed for work. "How was work-" You go to ask but get sut off by him taking your piece of toast and speaking.
"Munson boy was arrested by me at 10pm last night for speeding n having alcohol on him would've let him go if I didn't have Powell with me. He's at the station still you coming down or what." HE says eating while buttoning his chief shirt.
You stand there staring at your dad in shock. "Um yeah lemme get dressed." You say dropping the butter knife running to your bedroom. You hated when this happend. The thought of Eddie being sat cold n on his own.
You put on a pair of Eddie's grey sweats he left at yours once and a baggy tee then grabby a change of clothes for Eddie. For some reason the bot would give you his clothes cause he "loves you and wants you to have something so you feel safe when he's not around."
You get into the passenger side of your dad's vehicle and off he drives to the station. When you arrive Powells stood in the main bit and sees you. "NO. Nope. She can't be here." HE says trying to get hopper to make you leave.
"1) she's my kid. 2) I'm chief of police not you. 3) I Dont seem to give a fuck. 4) wheres the boy?" HE says looking Powell in the eyes. He then signals to the cells. Hop grabs the keys and leads you there. You arrive at a cell and see Eddie asleep in jeans and his keatger jacket on the uncomfortable bed. Hopper bangs his walkie against the bar which Eddie started awake to
"Rinse and shine dickhead you've got a visitor." Hop says smirking at Eddie when he falls off the bed.
"Thought people didn't get visitors when they were here. Unless it's Wayne here to kill me. If it is tell him I'm already dead?" Eddie says tryna sound cock not realising your stood behind your dad. You roll your eyes even though neither of the boys can see.
"OK fine common visitor let's get you in your way." Hop says walking off hand on your back. Then Eddie sees you.
"Fuck. Y/n hey babe. How are you?" HE says knowing your probably pissed.
"The fuck was you thinking speeding with beer in the van. N then getting cock to my fucking dad. Eddie you absolutely prick." You say looks frustrated. Eddie hold the bars putting his face in-between two and his arms through two other gaps. Putting his hands on your face.
"I wasn't drunk I did a beer run. N I didn't mean to speed. And I was bored." Eddie says running his thumb up the side of your face.
"As amusing as this is Eddie get off the bars n ill let her in." Hopper says approaching the lock. Eddie playfully throws himself to the back wall crossing his arms smirking. You enter and hopper locks the door behind you. "Don't do anything stupid I'm sat over there." HE said pointing a finger at Eddie before walking off.
Eddie walks over to you putting his arms around you pulling you in for a hug. You hug him back.
"Bought you change of clothes can't imagine Jens are comfy." You say golfing out sweats and a top for him. "Thanks princess." HE says kissing you sweetly. "Is anyone looking?" HE askes.
You giggle looking over your shoulder. "NO Eddie be quick." You say
The boy quickly drops his jeans kicking them behind him pulling the sweats up his legs. He notices you starring but doesn't say anything. He will tease you later. The he strips of his jackets and tee shirt. Sniffing the tee smirking and throwing it st your face. He laughs putting the fresh top as you throw the dirty one back at him.
"You stink." You say Pulling a face of disgust.
"I know you do but what do I?" HE says smugly. "Come sit on the floor." Eddie says dropping on the floor. You roll your eyes and ait next to him. His arm going around your shoulders and your head on his shoulder. "Thank you." HE mumbles kissing your head.
"For what?" You ask looking him in the eyes.
"Bringing me clean clothes. Sitting in here with me. Just everything. I love you." HE says kissing you softly. "I love you too." You mumble kissing him back.
Wayne soon arrives paying Eddie bail eith Eddie's stash of cash for moments like these.
"Alright munson your outta here." Hopper says unlocking the cell.
"Sweet." HE says standing up grabbing your hand snd pulling you up. You both walk out the cell holding hands. And Eddie holding his other clothes in his other hand. "Munson. Stop speeding when you onow you've got stuff your not allowed in the van for Christ's sake and y/n you can stay at Eddie tonight home by lunch time." Hopper says waving you both over to Wayne.
"Really Eddie." Wayne says looking annoyed.
"Whoops?" Eddie says but more like a question.
-one hour later-
"M telling ya if I knew he was out I wouldn't of swear baby." Eddie says walking into his bedroom holding his popcorn trying to defend himself about his situation.
"It's over now just be more careful." You say flopping on Eddie's bed crawling up to thr pillows. Eddie sets his popcorn on the bedside table jumping on you fo you kissing you passionately. The kiss escalates quick and sliding your (his) sweat pants down your legs when
BANG BANG BANG. on his bedroom door.
"DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOU 2 OR HOPPER WILL BE IN HERE ARRESTING YOU FOR WHAT YOUR ABOUT TO DO." Wayne shouts from the over side of the door.
"Kay." Eddie say not moving hearing his uncle foot steps get further away as he continues stripping you. "You still down?" HE askes kissing your neck. You nod and let out a quiet moan and he smirks into your neck.
"Good cause its gonna be a long night" he says grinding himself into your pussy that's covered by nothing as you wore no underwear that day. Eddie slides his trousers down his legs then his boxers leaving them around his thighs just incase. He puts the tip of his cock at your soppy hole.
"Ready?" HE askes as you nod. He slides in slow and you throw your head back. Eddie kisses you to stop you moaning loud. He starts to thrust in and out of you slowly. Your hands in his hair as he kisses you stopping both your moans.
His hands on your hips helping his thrusts so they wasn't to erratic. One of his hands goes under your shirt to your boob and he plays with your nipple between his thick fingers.
His thrusts are slow but deep hitting all the good spots. He slides his hand between your bodies slowing playing with your clit. You stangke a moan as he works his thrusts to playing with your clit making you feel like you was in heaven.
His mouth moves to your neck sucking and biting leaving dark marks. Then kissing the places he sucked and bite lightly. He removes jis hands from you propping himself on his forearms looking into your eyes.
"My pretty girl. Look so pretty like this hun. My cock deep inside you. Fuck I love you." HE says lowly. You clench around him ad your orgasm approaches. Eddie knows your body well enough to know when your gonna cum. "That's it baby let go cum for me." You bite own on his shoulder at his words and cum all over his cock.
Eddie thrusts slightly faster as you tighten from your orgams and cums after you dropping his head to your shoulder.
After coming down he looks you in the eyes and smiles hugging you. "I love you." HE says kissing you on the lips sweetly. "I love you too." You smile back into the kiss
"OH and by the way next time I'm gonna fuck you until you forget your name and only remember mine." HE says smirking so you knew you'd be getting it rough.
You slap his back playfully and he laughs. "Fucking freak" You giggle eing the only person who can call him that and him love it.
"Your fucking freak."
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watchyourbuck · 16 days
Text
We’re literally DAYS away from s7 but I just watched the graveyard scene™️ and I have,,,, thoughts
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I haven’t publicly discussed the lighting strike, the coma dream or the third kitchen scene yet, but there was something about this scene that irked me enough, so now im here
For starters this whole episode was centered around death. We have the Fake Funeral, Shannon’s grave, the Athena arc with the man who died then came back to life, and obviously,,, as one might imagine, we brushed Buck’s near-death experience (⚡️) — then at the end,,, the ever angering Buddie talk at a previous victim’s grave.
In this episode we meet Natalia, a death doula who Buck and the rest of the 118 tend to after an accident.
She quickly takes an interest in the recently Discharged™️ Evan Buckley, even asking him out on a date after finding out about his “acquaintance” (sic.) with death.
On the date per se she manifests her excitement towards Buck’s whole story, even prompting him to say ‘look at how excited you are. you’re like a real fangirl of this stuff.’
Upon research, I’ve found that death doulas are a real thing. Slow blink. I had no idea.
Thing is, she keeps saying how cool it is to have died and come back to life, imo pressuring him into discussing details he doesn’t seem all that ready himself to say out loud (he just seems to like her, however). He does anyway. She says how amazing and cool it is. Again.
We do not get more details of the date.
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Now to what brings us all here.
The scene starts with Buck and Eddie in front of Marie’s grave (a victim they knew). Buck explains how she died and mentions Natalia. Eddie says ‘we’re all gonna die alone’,,, which,, 👁️ ok mister Diaz a little somber but um– let him cook.
Buck seems a lil taken aback by this, turning to look at Eddie quietly until he explains that’s what Marie said to him and Hen. Buck disagrees with the statement.
Then it’s Eddie’s turn to mention Natalia. “That’s a beautiful thing Natalia did for her,” he says, looking at the ground. I’m not particularly a Natalia stan, but I can say that at this point of the conversation Eddie means no ill-will towards her. She’s actually somehow a… background character (of sorts) to this whole story.
This is when it gets,,,, interesting 🧍🏽‍♀️
As soon as Eddie speaks, Buck takes a small breath and smiles. Like WIDE. (Like guys that’s the picture I just put above this whole scene) — BUT he looks like he’s a bit hesitant in entrusting Eddie with the fact that he’s seeing her. He even ducks his head a little bit, which is a clear sign of cautiousness.
Before Buck’s even done speaking, Eddie sighs and throws his head slightly back. I don’t have the WORDS to explain to yall the way this man looks like he’s e x h a u s t e d (they haven’t even started the conversation bro 😭)
“Really? Dating someone you rescued?” OKAY LISTEN TO ME. This is what sets off the Marisol arc. Before Buck started dating Natalia, we hadn’t even heard about Marisol in the whole season !!!! She was gone, poof! Then Buck gets all deathy-snuggly with Natalia and suddenly Eddie’s really interested in her (when not even half an episode ago he was telling Tia Pepa he wasn’t ready even if he didn’t wanna be alone). Otherwise it would be awfully cynical of Eddie to be saying all this when he’s planning on going against his OWN words in like two episodes……….. 👨🏽‍🦯
Not only that, but it’s the fact that he looks completely against it from the very get go. Ummmm Taylor was someone they rescued, so was Ali. We never heard this speech before did we??? “You know that never ends well.” Also it’s the second fact that he says YOU know it never ends well. Excuse me? Wasn’t Ana someone you rescued also? 🤨 it just seems like he’s trying very hard to convince Buck to not do this. How do I know this you ask??? Bc I’ve been in that situation.
When Buck starts defending his choices, Eddie only nods. He can’t even look at him. He’s defeated, but not AS defeated as he’s about to be. “Anyway, she wanted to ask me about the lighting strike” “Right. You love being the guy with the answers.” This is NOT PLAYFUL. EDDIES NOT SAYING THAT ENDEARINGLY. Omg I can’t even- he’s not fooling around the way a friend would tease someone about their hot new date, he’s deliberately using the same PHRASING Buck used with him and Chris like a minute ago. He’s hurt. Eddie’s HURT. By now Eddie thinks Buck’s just playing around with this girl. And he’s hurt bc when he had his moment with Tia Pepa, he envisioned a life for himself with Buck (and I can’t tell you it was super romantic or platonic, but in his head it was a family. All three of them. This was clearly breaking that vision that he took so long to accept).
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Okay. “I feel like she sees me.” I have… I need to have extensive PTO rn cuz im seething. The way Eddie’s head immediately turns to Buck, even though he had been avoiding his eyes through the entirety of the scene. Another person said this so im not gonna take originality credit but: it’s like their whole friendship flashes through his mind, and his face contorts into a very painful ‘but I see you.’ I’m in so much pain lmao
Eddie’s literally scrambling now. He doesn’t know what to say, how to stop this pain. He’s lost Buck. He lost the man he’s been secretly and unawaringly in love with for over five years. He tries to be okay with this new reality asap. He hides his feelings. He starts joking. Buck’s not really laughing either, it’s futile.
“You haven’t been the same since it happened. But how could you be?” The last bit Eddie says to himself. He’s trying to adjust so fast he might have whiplash. It’s like he’s thinking: “if I had acted before this all happened, maybe I could have changed with you, instead of watching you change from a corner when im nothing but your best friend. No authority, no rights, no permission.” 😀 im ready to end it all btw
Thing is,,, Eddie STILL loves Buck, even if he’s convinced himself in his head right about now that he can’t have him. He’ll be happy (he’ll have to be) just being his friend, because losing his romantic love won’t ever be worse than losing him completely, so he says: “You don’t have to be anything for anybody.” Does this REMIND YALL OF SOMETHING ???
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(gently borrowed from @loveyourownsmiilee – although it was a gif but I’m kinda computer stupid)
Anyway, then Eddie becomes a little preachy, ending it w “so what changed you?” Which honestly he says quite angrily and accusatorially. If you watch the scene he even nods his head up, pointing at Buck and separating him from himself. He’s cutting their lines. YOU changed. YOU moved on. YOU died. YOU didn’t wait for me.
Then Buck kinda extends his hand back. “That has to mean something, right?” (Cheating death). He looks at Eddie with hope, but the man ISNT LOOKING BACK…. And the window is lost. Eddie’s joking again, Buck looks away.
Whatever, the scene ends with Eddie wanting but refusing to look at Buck, while Buck stares into a hypothetical horizon with a glimmer of a new, different hope. He never realized Eddie’s heart broke an inch away from him.
“It’s all a gift.”
Not to Eddie, it isn’t.
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mytheoristavenue · 2 years
Note
May I make a request where it’s donnie2k12 x reader and the reader is upset that Donnie always fawns over April and constantly asks the reader for help to be with her, and maybe the reader talks about it to Leo and Donnie overhears and when Leo holds the reader for comfort Donnie gets jealous. Ill leave the rest up to u <3
Sure, thanks for the ask!
TMNT 2012 Donatello x Reader x Leonardo - Unfair
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Warnings: jealousy, character x reader x character, angst, fluff
Summary: You've finally had enough of trying to help Donnie get April's attention, and Leo comforts you in your time of need.
You sat in the lab, pretending to listen to Donatello ramble about his latest plan to get April to go out with him. "That's where you come in." he chirped, gaining back your attention.
"Donnie, I already told you I wasn't comfortable with this anymore." you mumbled, not wanting to upset him, but also not wanting to put yourself through more torment.
"Oh, come on, (Y/N). I promise you won't have to do much! It'll be easy." he pushed. "You're my best friend, you're the only one I can trust to help me win April over." he stressed, holding both of your hands in his. “Please, just when you go to school tomorrow, give her this.” he pleaded, handing you a paper crane, seemingly made from a handwritten letter. You sighed and caved, taking it and walking out of the lab.
The following afternoon, you sighed sadly, wandering into the lair. To be honest, you didn’t even want to be here. Don’s plan had worked, and the letter had really gotten to April, so much so that she thanked you for ‘not letting her miss out on such a sweet guy’. You really didn’t even want to visit the turtles, all things considered, but you had a mandatory training session with Splinter so here you were.
Walking into the dojo, you dropped your bag into the corner,, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor and tape up your hands and feet. Just as you finished, the door slid open, Leo entering with a smile. “Hey, (Y/N), it’s nice to see you.” he said with a sweet smile.
“Oh, hey, Leo. Do you have  training with Splinter too?” you asked as he helped you to your feet.
“Actually, no.” he said, replacing his tape as well. “Splinter’s not feeling well, so he asked me to spar with you today. Is that alright?” 
“Of course,” you smiled, walking over to a rack of weapons in the opposite corner, picking out a blunt practice katana, and throwing one to Leo as well. “Honestly, I’m glad to see you.”
“Oh?” he asked with a small chuckled, catching the practice weapon, before following you to the middle of the dojo to take stance. “Are you not comfortable training with Splinter?”
“No, of course not,” you clarified, “I love Splinter, he just has a way of sniffing out things, ya know? You can’t hide anything for him.”
Leo smiled genuinely, lowering the wooden sword, leaning on it. “I get what you mean. If there’s something you need to get off your chest, we can do some stretches before we spar.” he offered sweetly. You nodded, dropping your weapon. 
“I’d like that, thanks.” You smiled, sitting in the middle of the floor with him, copying his movements. 
“So, what’s bothering you?” he asked, parting his legs, leaning toward his left foot to stretch his back and core. 
“Can you keep a secret?” you asked cautiously, following suit, counting to ten underneath your breath. 
“Obviously.” he snickered, switching sides. 
“I think I’m in love with Donnie.” you confessed, bringing your feet together between your legs and counting to ten.
“You call that a secret?” Leo snorted, crossing one leg over the other, looking over his shoulder and twisting his spine to the left, resulting in a satisfying string of pops.
“Well, yeah.” you rolled your eyes, coming out of the stretch to switch to the right. “But he keeps using me to help him get closer to April, even after I asked him to stop. And today...it worked.” you finally came back to the center, your shoulders slumping, and head dropping in defeat.
“That’s rough.” Leo winced, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You're not his monkey wrench, you deserve better.”
“Thank you, I appreciate that.” you smiled up at him. 
“You know, I think you’re wonderful.” he smiled, placing his free hand on yours. “I know you’re interested in Donnie, and I don’t want to take advantage of that, but do you...maybe wanna go get some pizza with me?” he asked, neglecting your hand to scratch the back of his neck.
“Like...a date?” you asked, a bit uncertain.
“No, just an excuse for two friends to blow off training.” he grinned, standing up ad offering you a hand, which you gladly took.
An hour passed, and the pair of you were walking down the streets of NYC, pizza box in hand. Leo had called in your favorite flavor, and given you money to go into the shop an pick it up. You were now on your way to the park to eat in seclusion. You both sat on the swings, eating (F/F) pizza, talking about life and enjoying each other's company, and for a bit, you entirely forgot about Don.
Nearby, Donnie and April were walking along, planning to have a study date at her favorite park. April was rambling on about how many exams she had that week, and how confident she was in each one, her fingers interlocked with his. He had originally been chatting along with her, but as soon as they entered vision of the park, his heart dropped.
Now that you were finished with your pizza, you and Leo were now having a very deep conversation about your feelings revolving Donnie. Actually you were more venting about it, and he was simply taking in information, and offering sweet reassurances when the occasion arose. “Leo, you’ve been so sweet today, I really appreciate it, truly.” you sighed, your voice strained from a few brief crying spells. You suddenly stood out of your swing, and stood in front of him, between his legs. 
“Awe, bring it in.” me whispered softly as you began to sniffle again, letting you fall into his arms. Leo pet your hair gently as you sobbed quietly into the chest plate of his shell, hushing you. “Shh, it’s ok, just let it out.”
“(Y/N)?” a voice broke through the moment you were sharing with Leo, prompting you both to separate like oil and water. 
“D-Don?” you asked, wiping your nose on your sleeve as your head snapped to a tall turtle and a human girl standing in an alley way. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? I’m on a date.” He shot back defensively. “What are you doing here?”
“We’re just hanging out.” you replied, sniffling, not understanding why he seemed so upset. “What’s the big deal?”
“I just feel like it’s kinda weird that the moment I get a girlfriend, you turn around and start hitting on my brothers. Are you trying to make me jealous?”
“That’s enough,” Leo spat, standing up out of the swing. “It’s not what it looks like, Donnie.”
“Oh, really?” the purple clad turtle snarled, yanking his hand out of April’s. “Because it looks like you’re on a date with my girlfriend.”
“Donnie!” the red head shouted. “I thought I was your girlfriend?” the younger brother’s face paled. 
“You are, I didn’t mean girlfriend, I meant best friend, that’s a girl, I swear!” 
As the pair bickered, Leo pulled you into his side, whispering into your ear. “You ok?” he asked, frowning at your teared eyed negative response. “Why don’t I take you home, huh?” he offered with a fake smile, wanting to do anything possible to calm you down. You nodded, and he scooped you up, turning to leave.
“Where are you going?” Donnie spat, grapping the other turtle by the shoulder. Leo sternly narrowed his eyes at his little brother.
“Don’t worry about it. Worry about your girlfriend, not mine.” he instructed, still holding you in his arms, ignoring your widened eyes as he lied.
“She’s not your girlfriend!” 
“And she’s not you’re toy.”
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jaeclerc · 9 months
Text
you&i ; maxiel; 1.6k
maybe a little different from something i usually post but i just needed to get this out!
tw: mentions of extensive mental illnesses, slightly unhealthy relationship, disordered eating, medication
it’s one of those days for max. he doesn’t really know why, he never knows why. all he knows is that the world is pressing down on him and he’s exhausted, his body already heavy even though he just woke up. his anxiety is already clutching his throat, squeezing down hard and then harder when he attempts to soothe it. it travels down to his diaphragm and causes everything to stop for a terrifying 1..2..3..4. he gasps. he sits up.
daniel already left for the morning, having to go off and deal with the little fires that seem to be popping up everyday on his new project. it just adds to the growing pressure in his stomach. daniel always knows when he wakes up like this, he always understands without max having to verbalize. without daniel, max feels like he’s already sealed within his walls and he’s left to rot.
there’s a sticky note on max’s phone when he picks it up to look at it, to doomscroll and add to his already terrible mood.
it reads: “love u! left breakfast in the fridge 4 u. remember to take ur meds, plz.” max feels like a slight failure, his husband having to remind him to take his pills so he doesn’t freak out (again) and end up hospitalized.
max gets out of bed, his body feeling like lead. daniel has been on a mission to get max eating twice a day, as his nutritionist recommended he bump up his meal count again, so he makes him breakfast and dinner every single day. max usually eats it. today he does not feel like eating it, so he forgoes it, the curling viper of anxiety just waiting to lunge.
he’ll put it into tupperware to eat tomorrow. daniel will be sad that he didn’t eat it, but he’ll also probably be happy that max didn’t hide it. he’s been working on that, not hiding when he hasn’t eaten. his therapist said that it’s small steps on the way, but it’s big to not hide it. to be honest with his loved ones about what’s going on in his brain.
the psychiatrist at the hospital that he was forced into told him that by lying and doing the things he does, he was acting just like his father. he’s been juggling that thought since then. he’s just like his father if he lies, he’s just like his father if he continues to not take his meds.
when he told daniel the psychiatrist said that, daniel flew into a rage because who says that to someone? but max internalized that. the last thing he ever wanted to be was just like his father and he feared turning into him.
max takes his pills out of the lion themed pill box, the ones that daniel dutifully puts out for him every morning and then locks the medication back up. his therapist also suggested they did that, so max wasn’t tempted to overuse when things weren’t going well in his mind. he hated the implication. he hated that she was right.
he throws back the three pills all together, washing it down with a redbull, chugging it so he can feel like it washed all the way down. at least he managed to do one thing today, which is always an accomplishment.
-
daniel calls on his lunch, his voice cheery through the phone as max curls up their couch with sassy and attempts to finish his homework for his class. he has a pretty low grade in this class and feels guilty if he has to use anymore of daniel’s money to retake it.
“did you eat, princess?” daniel asks him after max told him what he was doing.
his silence was enough to answer for daniel but he allows max to take time to speak.
“no.” he admits finally. “i woke up feeling too anxious. i took the pills.”
daniel hums happily at that, walking past max not eating, which max is happy for. he reminds himself it’s just the little things. the baby steps to get there.
he hears someone come into his office and daniel’s voice grows faint before he comes back on the line and tells max “i have to go, baby, but i’ll be home before three! love you.”
max hums and says “love you too.” before they hang up and he returns to his coursework, sighing in frustration at the fact that he couldn’t figure out the problem that was being proposed to him.
-
when max met daniel, he tried to hide everything that was going on with him, the raging mental health disorders, the serial lying, the eating disorder, the whole dad thing.
until one day, daniel looked at him, looked him dead in the eye and said “i know, max. you don’t have fucking to lie to me.” and suddenly the curtain was pulled back and all of max’s wounds were revealed to broad daylight and he hated it. but daniel didn’t leave, he pulled max close and let him be honest, no matter how hard it was to hear.
daniel loved max and made max want to seek out help instead of desperation and clinging to a facade.
daniel made max promise to at least always be honest with him. max promised. daniel promised as well.
max only ever truly lied once after that and he was so out of practice with daniel that his husband picked up on it immediately. he saved max’s life that night and when max woke up in the hospital, he figured that there was no use in lying to daniel anyways. he always knew.
-
there was a psychologist that asked max if maybe he was holding daniel back, burdening him when daniel was so successful. he could have built a beautiful life and had kids by now with anyone else. someone able to hold a job, someone who graduated high school, someone who didn’t have a diagnostic sheet a mile long.
max asked the psychologist why he wasn’t worthy of that good life as well. but he couldn’t help but let that conversation get to him. max was trying, but daniel was so wonderful and deserved that good life.
he asked daniel about it.
“max emilian ricciardo-verstappen.” his eyes looked troubled “who says you don’t give me a good life? i knew what i was getting myself into the moment you walked into that club and spilled your drink on me. you give me the life i want.” and max let that get to him as well. because everyone always acts like daniel never had a choice. to date him, to love him, to marry him. daniel knew it all. and he still chose max.
-
max was frowning at the stain in the sink when he heard the door open, the tub of ‘pink stuff’ being dropped as the lock clicked and startled him.
he picked up the tub and set it on the counter, digging through the sponge drawer for his handy orange scrub daddy to attempt to get the stains off his beautiful sink.
he leaned back against daniel when he felt the arms around his waist and the kiss to the side of his jaw, relaxing into his husband’s arms as he continued to scrub at the sink, fighting the good fight against the forever persistent water, wine, and food stains.
“still trying to get those out?” daniel teased. max rolled his eyes, turning to peak at daniel over his shoulder.
“i will get these stains out if it’s the last thing i do.” daniel just smiled at him, nodding like he believed him.
“oh absolutely, baby. it’s only a matter of time before you will them out of the century old porcelain. you got it!” he patted his ass and stepped away before max could turn and fully glare at him.
that was another thing his therapist suggested, for max to do something that he finds fulfilling. he doesn’t think she was thinking of him finally getting those stains that have been bugging him since they moved into their house, but when he told her, she just smiled and asked him what he’s tried.
when daniel comes back downstairs, dressed in his workout clothes and holding his phone, max sets down his scrub daddy and says, loudly “you said i couldn’t work out if i didn’t eat. so i’m of course not coming.” which meant that he really wanted to go.
daniel raised an eyebrow in his direction, his lips curling up as he asks “do you want to come and watch?” max practically sprints to get his own workout clothes on, even though daniel won’t let him work out but he likes watching anyways.
daniel has a meal supplement shake in his hand for him when he’s back down, whistling at him in his sweats and baggy tee, which is cut down to his hips practically. he’s pretty sure it’s daniel’s but he just threw on what he saw.
max chugs the shake and takes daniel’s hand as they walk to the gym, swinging his water bottle on the way as they chat about the day.
max wishes daniel didn’t have such an impact on his mood but he’s come to terms with it long ago when he realized that this was long term for them. so he tries to navigate as best as he can.
-
when they’re laying in bed, daniel tracing shapes on max’s back, daniel asks him what he asks every night:
“how was it today?” and max tells him honestly.
“i woke up anxious, that’s why i didn’t eat. i struggled with my class, and it made me very upset, of course. but going to the gym, eating dinner, and finally being able to orgasm made it better. i feel like today was a better day than last week’s tuesday.”
daniel’s fingers pause on his back and then resume, a small laugh falling from his lips as he looks down at max, whispering “i’m glad, baby. it’s the small steps.”
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josephquinnswhore · 11 months
Note
Hiiii bub thank you soooo much for the request here’s another one I have (based on me)
TW: blood & commit and anxiety attack
May you please do a Pedro pascal x plus size reader where readers worst fear is blood and any time they see it the feel nauseous and go in to an anxiety attack. Basically I was sick last week and had the absolute worst tummy bug (I’m all better) and threw up so hard my nose bled that I almost passed out and had an anxiety attack. Basically do it based off what happen to me and if u can add Bella and Nico and Gabriela calling Pedro bc he is the only one to calm reader down from these panic attacks.
Thank you in advance
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My Comfort
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Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Fem/Plus Size Reader!
Summary: you’re sick and Pedro’s called back from his luck to see you in a bad way.
Word Count: 2k
Content Warning: reader is sick, mentions of blood, panic attack, vomit.
Note: hi sun bun 🐰, I love you. We must be the same person fr cause I’ve been sick for over a month LMAO and I get so queasy when I see blood. UGH, hopefully this gives you what you need. I also throw up to the point where my throat bleeds lol it’s so fucked. 🫶🏼🥰 I made it pretty dramatic LOL. M sorry it’s short.
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You told yourself you were fine, you could do the filming through the sickness. You were sipping on your water and drinking your raspberry flavoured hydralyte, even though it tasted like shit. Just to try and get yourself through the day, unable to tell yourself you’re not sick enough to show up for work. It was too important, it came before everything else in your life, well, almost everything. It was second in line to your boyfriend and co-worker, Pedro.
“You’re okay. You’re okay. Just one more scene to shoot, then you can go home.” You chanted to yourself as you look in the mirror trying to convince yourself it to be true, thinking maybe if you said it aloud it would enforce some truth. Your face was losing colour with every passing minute, and the darkness around your eyes was a clear indication that everything was far from okay, that you were not okay.
But you felt guilty, you didn’t want to let the team down by going home and delaying the episode when you had one measly scene left to shoot, you may as well just tough it out and get through it as best you could. It would maybe take a couple hours at most, you could do that! Right? You started to doubt yourself at the way your limbs started to ache and feel heavy. It hurt to hold your head upright.
You turn on the tap to the cold water, letting the water gather into your cupped hands before you bring it to your face, the coolness is refreshing, you exhale a deep breath to try and relax, patting your face dry with some paper towel and throw it into the trash bin. You could do this. You couldn’t give up.
“Hey, are you feeling okay? You don’t look so hot.” Gabriel sets a hand on your shoulder, his thick black eyebrows were nearly touching as he frowned, his dark brown eyes squinted with concern at one look of you, his hand feels like it weighs a tonne on your aching shoulder. “I-I mean you are, but, you know.” He gestures to you and you raise an eyebrow at him, you didn’t wanna have to deal with this right now-as much as you liked him.
“Dude shut it, are you okay?” Bella asks, her face strewn with concern for your well-being. You swallow your spit loudly, gulping down the clump that sits in your throat, feeling more ill with every passing second. “Um…I’m ok, I think.” you can’t decide what to say, unsure of whether you even believe your obvious and blatant lies. Bella looks to Nico and they know you’re lying, sharing a look of sympathy toward you, watching as you slightly sway as you stand still.
“Why don’t you just sit down for a second, have some water.” You nod to Nico, “thanks,” you mumble in agreement as she sets a gentle hand on your back, helping you sit, agreeing it’s a good idea. The bright lights of the set don’t help the ache in your head that’s contributing to your illness. Your eyes squint as your brain throbs at how bright it is, you blink harshly, trying to rid the ache that’s set in motion, the shadow of a headache you knew would grow into a migraine.
“Wouldn’t hurt to sit for five minutes.” You mumble in an unintelligible slur, as you feel a wave of nausea coming over you, it shakes your whole body to the core, the feeling settles uncomfortably in the pit of your stomach. Your fingers grasp your bottle shakily with the hydralyte, desperate to rid your body of the nausea setting, but it wasn’t your bottle, and it wasn’t hydralyte. It was a bottle of soft drink, the fizz of the soda causes a rift in your stomach that feels like it’s about to explode. The feeling builds and builds until it feels like it’s going to erupt, from your mouth.
“Oh my god, someone get me a bucket.” You hunch over in your seat with one arm wrapped around your stomach, the other holding your hand over your mouth, the nausea rising up your throat that you have to swallow down the first time it attempts its exit because you would’ve just spewed all over the floor on set. You heave again, this time Gabriel is holding a bucket underneath your mouth, the taste of the liquid makes your stomach ache even though it barely has time to digest.
The same coloured liquid comes out as clear, mostly bile the first few times, until the stench of the contents in the bucket circulates through your nostrils and churns your stomach again, twisting until it shoots up your throat, this one hurt your throat badly, the sting it made coming out has you unable to breathe for a few seconds, your lash line full to the brim with unshed tears, coughing violently as someone rubs a hand along your back, trying to soothe you.
You feel something dribbling from your nose and you wipe it with the back of your hand, not caring how disgusting it would seem to anyone else. You expect to see snot or mucus on your hand associated with the tears brought to your eyes from the vomiting. To your surprise you see a bright red liquid, your blood was coating your hand in a rugged line on your hand, your nose was bleeding.
“Oh shit you’re bleeding.” Nico exclaims, panic evident in her voice, inspecting your nose and handing you a tissue, the blood filled the tissue within a few seconds, the flow from your nostril not giving up. You must’ve burst a blood vessel in your nostril with how it’s pouring out of you, you start to feel dizzy at the sight of how much blood you’re losing. You pull back the tissue and feel it leaking through the tissue, your fingertips were now stained red from how profusely it was bleeding.
It starts with your hands trembling, your body becomes stiff and you can hardly hear anyone around you. Your fingers are shaking that badly you drop the bloody tissue, your nose is now free bleeding all over you and your clothes. Your breaths are rugged and panicked. The ache in your neck causes it to fall, your whole body falling forward destined to hit the ground until Gabriel catches you, sitting you on the floor, lying you on your side.
“Call Pedro back from lunch, now. And get the damn medic.” Bella demands Gabriel who stands in a panic not knowing what to do, he rushes to get his phone and makes the call to Pedro, Nico rushes away to find the medic on set while Bella stays with you. She’s knelt down beside you, trying to pry you upright but your body is stiff and unmoving other than the small underlying tremble of your body.
The medic arrives first, she’s kneeling down beside Bella to look at you, eyeing the teenager in shock at the state of you. “Hey hun can you hear me? It’s Cas I’m here to help.” You feel a warm hand on your body as she rolls you onto your back, the ache from the touch alone causes you to whimper, your eyes are strewn shut at the brightness of the room, it was all too much, you just wanted Pedro.
She pulls out of her bag a cuff, to check your blood pressure, the tightening of the cuff on your arm was pleasantly satisfying, slightly grounding you with each notch of pressure that was released. “Okay, blood pressures a little low but nothing to be worried about. Just going to check your temperature sweetie.” She moves your arm, shoving a thermometer under your armpit and waits for it to beep. She checks it and purses her lips together on a thin line.
“Baby, oh my god is she okay?” Pedro kneels down next to you, his hands are holding your cheeks, cupped in his own large hands the warmth from them makes you sweat, a result of your ever rising temperature. “Is she okay?” Pedro asks Cas, she puts the thermometer away. “She had a reading of 39.2 degrees, she’s got a fever, not sure what’s causing it though.”
“Hey baby, hey can you hear me? It’s me baby I’m here.” You could barely find the strength in you to open your eyes, eyelids squinting to protect your eyes from the brightness of the room. “Hey.” You mutter, with the last of your strength you could muster before you fall unconscious.
-
Pedro’s leg is bouncing the whole time he’s sat in the chair beside your bed in the hospital. The beeping of the monitor keeping your reading would sometimes make a commotion in the event of a momentary spike in blood pressure, “it’s just trying to regulate itself.” The nurse offered, which didn’t make him feel any better.
“Mr Pascal, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Dr Wrent, we’ve been doing some tests on your girlfriend here today. We’ve come to find that she’s somehow contracted a deadly stomach bug, it’s rare but not unknown, we can give some anti biotics to take home and she should be fine within the week.” The doctor put your folder and hung it on the end of the bed, “by the way, make sure you enforce that she takes a break, tell her to stop working so hard.”
“Right, I’ll do that. Thanks for everything.” Pedro sunk back into his chair and waited for you to wake up, the small sandwich and juice from the cafeteria sitting unopened as you lie peacefully.
You start to stir right when Pedro feels his eyelids drooping, begging him to close so he can have a moments rest. He hears the shuffling before his brain has the chance to fully lull him into sleep, rustling around in the front of his mind to wake up, sending an alarm throughout his body that you were finally awake.
“God baby you’re awake. You scared the shit out of everyone you know that?” As if you hadn’t felt guilty enough, the worry on His face made it worse. You couldn’t look at him, avoidant in your stare towards him, looking quite literally elsewhere until he leaned over the bed and grabbed your face in his hands, forcing you to look up at him.
“I’m sorry baby- I didn’t mean,” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “We were worried about you, why didn’t you tell someone you weren’t feeling well?” You should’ve just done that to begin with you knew, but you were too stubborn.
“I just convinced myself I should do it, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone by delaying the season for one last scene.” Pedro’s hand caresses your hair, fingers gliding through your hair as he calms you. “From now on you put yourself forward okay? Promise me.”
You pull your bottom like between your teeth, enjoying the sting it brings when you bite down too hard, “okay, I promise.”
“I’m proud of you though, you saw that blood and didn’t die, soooo.” Pedro trails off with a small laugh and you groan and roll your eyes, shoving his arm. “Don’t remind me, that’s so embarrassing.”
Pedro stands from the bed, handing you a sandwich wrapped in a paper bag, “you know I think they’re gonna put a scene of you passing out in the show.” You stop feeling back the paper bag and look at him suspiciously, “they wouldn’t want to!”
He simply shrugs, “you didn’t hear that from me, now eat. Need my baby strong.” You unwrap and bite into the sandwich, it contained all your favourite fillings and you smile, stomach feeling settled and the ache of the emptiness was now gone as you’d managed to swallow some food. You’d sure learnt a valuable lesson; Gabriel is useless when it comes to emergency situations.
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✧ crimson-stained padisarah ✧ extra ✧
pairing - al-haitham x f!reader a/n - some bonus conversations after the events of this fic (if this is your first time reading ‘crimson-stained padisarah’ , i’ll suggest reading the main part first) content notes - ooc haitham??? inconsistent format cause these are brainrots that i had while writing the fic and i just wanted to throw them out :)
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i. you meant to say how long?!
yn: how long? haitham: hm? yn: have you known that you like…? me..? haitham: shortly after we joined the akademiya. yn: what?! that long?! how tf did you not get hanahaki????? haitham: i’m not weak lik-
yn: hey!  (yn yeets a pillow at him, which he just grabs it.)
haitham: i’m jesting. (closes his book and walks to where she was standing) you have always been more sensitive when it comes to the feelings of the heart. and it’s worse with your tendency to jump to conclusion right off the bat. (brushes her hair from her face) but, who knows. maybe years of being around you, i have gotten soft. yn: you? soft? hah. impossible. haitham: is that so? (takes her hand and place it on his chest, right above his heart, catching her off-guard and very obviously flustering her) can you feel it?
yn: y-your chest? (ogling)
haitham: my heart, you idiot. (sighs)
(upon realizing that it wasn’t just her whose heart is racing, she lift her gaze to meet those turquoise hues that were gazing upon hers with such gentleness. surprise fills her features when she notes how pink dusts his cheeks and the tips of his ears tinge with red.)
haitham: do you feel the effect you have on me?
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ii. the possessive childhood friend.
in a coffee shop,
kaveh: yn, your definition of perfect is truly terrible. (points a fork towards said-female’s direction) yn:  kaveh. u of all people shouldn’t be criticising me on something that’s subjective.
kaveh: but, seriously. yn. al-haitham? perfect? you could do better.
yn: there’s no one better. haitham is perfect. and there’s no one else i would want.
haitham: you hear her, kaveh. stop pestering my lover with your nonsense. (pulls out the chair next to her and takes a seat)
yn: haitham!! (her eyes lit up in joy at the sight of the acting grand sage) 
haitham: i came here when i heard that you’re here at the coffee shop. (his lips curve upwards into a small smile for a moment before returning to neutral when he gives kaveh a side glance) but, i didn’t expect that there would be another person with you.
kaveh: (scoffs and rolls eyes) archons. now he’s going to be even more insufferable. yn, what have you doneee.
yn: ??? (stares at the whining kaveh, her eyes blinking innocently at him)
kaveh: you don’t know? really? (in disbelief as the female shakes her head) no one’s allowed to speak ill of you lest they wish to cross him. (points forks at al-haitham’s very-unamused face) he has always being possessive of you, his childhood friend. now that you guys are officially together, no one can even lay their eyes on you.
yn: (turns to her grey-haired lover, her eyes wide in surprise) 
haitham: don’t listen to him. kaveh’s just rambling. (wipes a crumb from the corner of her lips with his thumb and then, licks his thumb all the while looking into her eyes)
cue the fork in yn’s hand dropping onto the table with a loud clank and her face turning beet red, while a loud, exasperated groan could be heard in the background. 
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ughgoaway · 4 months
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the sick dad matty blurb omfg ACE i’m literally unwell at the thought of mopey messy hair matty falling asleep in ur lap and being so flustered at u seeing him like that- brb fucking crying
also speaking of which genuinely insane timing how you always post smth after i’ve had a very long shift i swear theyre really the one thing i look forward to the most after work 😭😭 uninterrupted horizontal time with ur blurbs it’s true it literally is my fav thing-
also perhaps an extension of sick dad! matty but i just can’t shake the idea of teacher reader being worried about him still and asking annie about it at school the next day and annie just randomly drops a bombshell in the way kids do and says smth like ‘oh daddys so much better today! he’s all smiley and said that you chased the bad coughing monster away for him- can you come do that every time? daddy’s never had anyone do that before’ and it just b r e a ks teacher reader completely pls anyways crying throwing up
(- bff anon also has the can’t shut up disease i fear 😭)
OMG, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BFF!!! I just need to look after this man.
like imagine he eventually wakes up and its like 9pm at that point so you're like "okay let's get you to bed" and he's all sad and pouty and says "only if you stay over with me" but he's still half asleep and doesn't quite process what he said for a good few seconds...
wide-eyed, he tries to backtrack, "wait- I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that! obviously, we haven't slept together yet, but- NO, NOT LIKE 'SLEPT TOGETHER' SLEPT TOGETHER!!! I MEANT LIKE JUST SLEEPING!!! ohmygod-"
you're like "no that sounds nice, let's go upstairs," and matty is silently freaking out bc you're gonna be in his bed. with him. sleeping. he's thought about this scenario 1000 times, and none of them included him being dealthy ill and not having nice sheets on the bed first.
(more rambles below the cut as always)
you get matty to brush his teeth and get ready for bed, even rubbing some moisturiser on him (he just sits there with a dopey grin as you apply)
he always thought you'd be on his chest or he'd be spooning you, but he ends up with his face buried between your boobs and he's out within 10 mins.
oh and the morning after... so much potential...
I must have spidey senses for when you're at work bff!!! the fact that my blurbs make you so happy you look forward to them??? brb vomiting???? that is so kind. horizontal time on tumblr is my fav too, its unmatched.
OH, LITTLE ANNIE TALKING ABOUT HIM PLEASEEEEEE-
I can see her spending the night at hanns bc matty doesn't want her to get ill and doesn't trust George or Ross to keep her overnight.
"Do you even know what 5 year olds eat??"
"bro, why dont you trust us???"
"Yeah... like mushed carrots and shit right. "
you put the kids to work colouring something but secretly call Annie over yo your desk, "hi Annie! I just wanted to ask how your daddy is today, I know he's been a bit poorly"
"...please take her Adam"
she immediately lights up and starts chattering away, "Oh, daddy said he's feeling much better today. he even made me my toast this morning, and he was all smiley the whole time!!! he said you made him all better and played nurse!! can you do that every time he's poorly? he's much happier when you are his nurse than when he goes to the doctors"
obviously, internally you're like "ohmygod he really likes me, and I made him feel better. oh, he couldn't stop smiling, and annie noticed because he was so happy and -"
but externally, you play it cool like, "Oh, that's great, sweetheart! I'm sure next time he's poorly, you can help him feel better too"
Annie is like, "Oh!! I hope he's poorly again soon, I wanna play doctors with you!!!"
you try not to laugh at her wishing her dad ill and just send her back to her desk, but the grin doesn't leave your face all day. thinking about the fact you made matty giddy makes you just as giddy as him.
the next day a bouquet of flowers show up at your door with a note,
"dear nurse y/n,
thank you for coming to look after me even after I cancelled our date. whilst I am slightly mortified you saw me looking like that, I'm more grateful for your help. you made being sick worth it. Spending any time with you is always worth it.
love, matty x
ps, I hope the next time you stay in my bed, I'm substantially less sick, and we're both wearing substantially less clothes ;)"
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muldermuse · 10 months
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hi! fox mulder being all cutely sad and mopey when his crush (reader) takes a week off from work, making him miss her sm that dana finds it so silly of him to do! and maybe when the reader returns he’s all so happy and does the case better hahah
ty for the request!!! i did it like hcs bc it's fun to write
Fox Mulder is struggling, you are off with sickness and he's calling you every 3 hours to make sure you're okay. He's desperate to see you, just to try and make you feel even 1% better.
he's dropped off soup (your stomach is too upset to eat it)
he's dropped off a new vhs (your head hurts too much to look at a screen)
the last time, he dropped off a huge bouquet of flowers (your nose is too blocked to smell them)
the case that he has is not important, I mean Scully and Skinner are telling him that it is but to Fox?? nah, not interested
when he and Scully are out questioning ay leads and investigating the area, all she can hear is him huffing and tutting. When speaking to locals, he's doodling in his pad as Scully asks questions
in the office, he's not much better. He's completely unable to focus on the task at hand and is spending the majority of his time throwing self made paper balls through the basketball hoop on the back of the door
this goes on for a few days but as you still feel unwell- Fox goes from being largely uninterested in work to being outright miserable
when he walks in, there's no greeting, it's just a nod and straight to his desk. shoes on the table and staring at the ceiling until he's pleading with Scully to go upstairs and get him a coffee because he's too sad and mopey to do it himself
"she has the flu Mulder, she'll be back in a few days"
"you said that a few days ago and here we are" he shoots her a look and then IMMEDIATELY remembers that this is Dr Dana Scully, she raises an eyebrow at him and he mumbles an apology into his coffee cup
"how long are you going to be miserable for?" she asks with a smirk
"maybe forever" he sighs
"apparently, she's coming back to work tomorrow so..."
before Scully can even FINISH her sentence, he's sat up in his chair reaching for the phone, as he goes to dial the final digit in your number he hears a giggle from across the room and sees Scully laughing at him
"that's the quickest i've seen you move all week"
relief washes over him when you answer the phone and you sound BETTER like not as horrifically ill like u did previously, ur apologetic for not calling him earlier but you've been sleeping and he's apologising back for calling so much and he can see Scully shaking her head at the sap that he has become
once the phone call is done, he's a new man. seemingly reborn. he's quizzing Scully on her notes from the investigation and questioning all the motives of those involved
the case is basically cracked by the end of the day
but when he goes to look through his notes for clarification and it's just sad doodles of clouds and frowny faces lmao
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Migraine // Robin Buckley x Reader(Platonic) and Eddie Munson x Reader (Romantic)
request: Hiiii, can u write robin buckley x reader where theyre best friends and robin is taking care of an ill reader but is kind of lost so she calls the reader's bf eddie munson for help?
prompts: none!
summary: you and robin are having a movie marathon when you develop a migraine, panic ensues from the both of you as you’re facing some unpleasant symptoms, and robin has no idea how to help you feel better. luckily, your boyfriend eddie is there to help!
warnings: reader having a migraine, mentions of reader taking medication (i used the names of all the meds i take for migraines), nausea, mentions of throwing up, reader having emetophobia, panic attacks, allusions to the reader having other health problems, language, not proofread
word count: 1.7k
a/n: i decided to do a chronically ill reader instead of the reader just being sick because i'm also chronically ill so i figured it would be easier to write, and i have chronic migraines so this is heavily based on my experience with them, robin is reader's best friend, eddie is reader's boyfriend, gn reader
i know this isn’t exactly what you requested, but i hope you like it either way!
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“Ow! Shit!” you said, bringing your hand up to your head at the sudden pain.
“Y/n? Are you alright?” Robin asked, pausing the movie the two of you were watching, as she turned to look at you.
“Yeah, no everything’s fine. I just think I’ve got a migraine coming on.”
You gently rubbed the growing ache behind your eyebrow, feeling the pain begin to spread. You grumbled softly to yourself, knowing that it was going to be a bad one, since you had fallen asleep last night before taking your clonidine. You hadn’t thought much of it, but now you were beginning to regret not forcing yourself out of bed to take it.
“Is there anything I can do?” she asked you, growing concern present in her voice.
Robin knew how bad your migraines could get, but she had never actually been around you while one was happening. She had no clue how to help you, or if she even could. And she also didn’t know just how bad they could get.
“Not currently, thanks though.” You smiled softly at her, immediately wincing at the pain the action brought.
The two of you sat in silence for a moment. Robin had enough common sense to know that loud noises and bright lights made it worse, so she was careful not to make too much noise around you. She reached for the remote, and switched the television off, before standing up and quietly closing all of the windows in your bedroom. She walked back over towards your bed, and sat down on it beside you.
You tried to lay down in an effort to ease your pain, but the change in position brought upon a sudden wave of nausea, along with the feeling of panic. You jolted back up, trying to make the nausea go away, but your sudden movements only made the feeling worse, along with aggravating the pounding inside your head.
Seeing the panic on your face, Robin whispered, “What happened?”
You tried to speak, but the thought of opening your mouth only made you more afraid. For as long as you could remember, you had been deathly afraid of vomiting. Sure, you’ve done it before, it was inevitable. But you tried to ward it off as best as you could. Unfortunately, the panic that always came along with the nausea just seemed to make it worse. It was a never ending cycle.
You couldn’t think, the pounding behind your eyebrow echoing loudly throughout your head. You couldn’t speak, the nausea churning deep inside of you. You couldn’t even breathe, the building anxiety attack causing your lungs to constrict.
It was all getting too much. And you couldn’t even talk to Robin to get help to stop it. You knew what you needed, but you were far too ill to go and get it yourself, and you couldn’t communicate what you needed to Robin.
Robin watched the scene unfolding in front of her, feeling her own anxiety begin to stir just from how scared you looked. She saw your throat move, as if you were trying to speak, put you bit down hard on your lips to keep your mouth shut. She had no idea what to do, and seeing you, her best friend, in agony was breaking her heart.
Gently she reached over and tapped your hand lightly to get your attention. Your head slowly turned to face her, panic and pain written on your face.
“I’m gonna call Eddie, alright? I don’t know how to help you, but he’s done this with you before, right?”
You turned the hand that she tapped into a thumbs up, not wanting to nod and make the pain in your head worse.
“Great, alright, I’ll be right back.”
Robin quietly walked out of your room and shut the door, before bolting down the stairs to the phone in your living room. She dialed Eddie’s number, hoping that she had remembered it correctly. The phone rang for a few moments, and Robin anxiously tapped her foot, praying to a god she didn’t believe in that he would answer.
“Hello?” a voice she immediately recognized as Eddie’s, said from the other side of the call.
“Eddie! Oh thank god! It’s Robin. I’m at y/n’s house right now, and they have a migraine, and I have no clue what to do. They won’t talk, and they look terrified and I have no clue how to help! Can you please get here as fast as you can? I think that they-”
Eddie cut off Robin’s rambling, not wanting to waste anymore time. “Yeah, I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
Robin heard a click, and put the phone back down when she realized that Eddie had hung up. Now all she had to do was wait.
~
Not even five minutes later, Eddie’s van came to a screeching halt outside of your house. Robin immediately rushed to open the door, not wanting the sound of the doorbell to hurt your head.
Eddie practically jumped out of the van, and ran towards the door. Robin moved aside to let him in, and locked the door behind him.
“Where are they?” Eddie asked in a hushed voice, a shocking contrast to his overwhelmingly loud personality.
“In their room.”
Eddie nodded and walked over to your kitchen to grab you a glass of water, before heading upstairs to your bedroom. Gently pushing your door open, he walked inside with Robin following right behind him.
“Hey sweetheart,” Eddie whispered, walking over to you and gently placing the cup down on your nightstand.
“I’m gonna get you your meds, and you’ll feel better in no time, alright?”
You looked up at him, vision blurry from the tears streaming down your face. He didn’t know if you were crying from the pain of the growing panic attack, but the sight of you so miserable shattered his very being.
Eddie walked over to your dresser, being careful to take light footsteps, and found your set of pill cases. He picked them up one by one and looked at the labels placed on the bottom of the identical cases.
Morning
Evening
Emergency
Placing the morning and evening cases down, Eddie opened the emergency one and took out a zofran and an extra strength ibuprofen your neurologist had prescribed you. The pill was abnormally large, and Eddie was still baffled at how you managed to swallow it. But you claimed it worked wonders, so struggling to get the pill down was worth it.
After having been in a relationship with you for almost a year, Eddie knew what all your medications looked like, and didn’t have to ask you anymore which ones you needed. It took him some time to figure out which one was which, but saving you the struggle of digging through your pills yourself was worth it.
Eddie walked back over to you, the two pills in his hand, and he sat down beside you. He picked up your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, before turning it over and placing the zofran in your hand.
Your eyes widened and you shook your head, immediately wincing at the pain you caused. Taking pills meant opening your mouth, and opening your mouth meant it was more likely for you to vomit. And you weren’t about to let that happen.
“Come on sweetheart, you have to take it. It’ll make your nausea go away. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
You knew he was right, you’ve taken zofran so many times before, and it always worked almost immediately. But you were still too scared to open your mouth. The mere idea of it not working fast enough made you want to risk staying in pain. Anything was better than vomiting. Even if it meant your head would be throbbing mercilessly for the next few hours.
Eddie’s face fell slightly, and he reached over to grab your other hand, squeezing it tightly.
“I’m right here, y/n. Everything will be okay. I promise. Just please, let me help you feel better.”
You drew in a shaky breath, feeling tears begin to stream down your face once more. You looked up at Eddie, who nodded encouragingly, and then over to Robin, who mouthed, “It’s ok. You can do it.”
You closed your eyes tightly, and slowly unclenched your jaw. You brought your hand up to your mouth, and hesitated for a moment, but Eddie squeezed your hand tightly once more. You took a deep breath once more, before opening your mouth and placing the small pill under your tongue, letting it begin to dissolve. You mentally winced at the bitter taste of the pill, but felt relief wash over you as you felt your nausea dissipate in the moments after the pill finished dissolving.
“See? That wasn’t so bad.” Eddie smiled softly at you, still not letting go of your hand.
He held up the ibuprofen in the hand that wasn’t holding yours and said, “Are you ready to take this one?”
“Yeah,” you replied shakily, feeling the panic inside you begin to fade.
Grabbing the pill, you placed it inside your mouth before taking a sip from the water Eddie had brought up. You slowly finished the glass of water, before placing the empty cup back down on the table beside you.
Eddie leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“Go ahead and rest baby, Robin and I will be right downstairs.”
“Alright,” you replied, shimming yourself down on the bed.
You wanted Eddie to stay and cuddle with you, but it was best for you to be alone when you were sleeping off a migraine. The quieter the better.
Eddie stood up from your bed, and walked back to your dresser, turning the radio to the lowest volume before switching it on. Robin shot him a confused look, but Eddie just shrugged and said, “Y/n told me that music helps their head feel better. I don’t get how, but if it works it works.”
She nodded, not quite understanding it either. She walked over to your door and turned to look at your now sleeping form. A wave of relief washed over her as she realized that you were soon going to feel better, and that now she would be able to help you next time.
tags: @jamespotterslover @thatspookyagent @hallecarey1 @evilcr0ne @milly-louise
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lavender-at-heart · 1 year
Note
could u do dating bella swan as a werewolf!fem!reader?<33 loved your galadriel headcanons
𝐵𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑊𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑤𝑜𝑙𝑓:
Pairing: Bella Swan x fem!werewolf!reader
Warnings: a bit angsty
Notes: tysm for the request your so sweet! Sorry this took a little while to get out btw. Requests are open and feedback is welcomed and encouraged!
- Coco ❤️
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You were Jacobs cousin but spent most of your time with him and Billy rather than your family.
You had seen/met Bella once or twice but you were very little and don't remember much
But you have met Charlie Swan, he always seemed like a nice man and often invited you and your family over to watch a baseball game.
When news of the infamous Bellas moving to Forks you were relatively unfazed.
But Jacob was chomping at the bit to get to know her.
You met her the same time jacob did and it was hard to watch the two interact, but she seemed sweet(and very pretty).
Unlike your cousin you actually attended Forks high-school, it was closer to home.
You noticed Bella was a bit shy and socially awkward so you invited her into your friend group and hit it off well.
And when she started taking a interest in a certain blood sucking freak you were sure to steer her in the right direction.
And she listened to your advice
For three days.
She had said some bs about how you wouldn't be able to change her mind about seeing him so it's not worth the fight. And you gave up because you rlly wanted things to work between the two of you.
And you didn't really mind, I mean yes it was dangerous but Bella could take care of herself[and the fact that you had a real big crush on her]. You didn't mind that is until she started ditching you.
"Oh sorry y/n I can't tonight... I'm going to the movies with Edward"
Or "I promised Edward I'd study with him, can't jacob help you?"
It hurt you to say the least and Bella was so blinded by her crush for Edward she didnt even notice.
By Bellas birthday your relationship had practically withered away but you still got her a present. A handmade booksleeve in her favorite colour.
And then...the accident happened. The Cullens left Forks abruptly leaving a heartbroken Bella and a confused town.
You didn't really know what happened but according to Billy, nothing good.
And as selfish as it sounds you were glad you got to get back in touch with her.
You helped her get over her stupid breakup, reminding her that Edward didn't deserve her whatsoever.
You comforted her and let her cry in your arms
You made sure she ate well and got enough sleep
And you even made a bonfire with Jacob and your friends to burn all of Bellas photos, clothing and memories of Edward.
Things were going great until you started distancing yourself.
Making up illnesses and just flat our ignoring her seemed better than the truth, I mean you just couldn't tell her.
She thought that you were ignoring her because of how she treated you before. She felt like a jerk.
So of course when she shows up to Jacobs and demands to see you, things don't go swimmingly.
She finds out and she's...honestly not as shocked as she should have been
" look Bella I understand if you don't wanna talk to me anymore, I'm surprised you can even look at me-"
"Y/n I've already been through the whole my friend is a mythical creature thing. Besides who will I complain about the rain to?"
And then she realized she really did eff up pretty badly with you when she was dating Edward and it wasn't ok.
You were studying- or at least trying to study when you were interrupted by bella throwing rocks at your window.
You looked down onto the yard where she was standing and holding up a sign that read "I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE SAID THIS SOONER BUT WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? p.s im sorry for being a jerk :(" And a bouquet of your favorite flowers to top it off.
You excitedly nodded and quickly got ready for a impromptu date.
You guys went to a drive in movie, sat in the back of her truck and kissed under the stars~
Ok but Bella would be really good with dates
Like hiking to some obscure spot just cuz there's pretty flowers? It's a no brainer for her
You help her cook for her dad and Charlie loves you like a seccond daughter
You read and stargaze together on her roof
You make picture albums with the camera her dad got her for her birthday.
And she constantly finds she keeps "misplacing" her sweaters and flannels
You guys are really the power couple of Forks no matter what the creepy homophobic old guys say🏋‍♂️
Your families already get along great with each other so there's really no fuss when it comes to that.
Jacob is a little miffed that you "stole" Bella from him but she reassures him that he'd never stand a chance.
You get engaged 2 years after high-school, which seems pretty early but you know you'll never ever find someone as great as bells in Forks
The wedding is small but that's the way you both wanted it
It's in her backyard, in the forest and the reception is at her house.
Ok I lokey hate her wedding dress(no shade if you like it tho!) So let's say she wore this one, it's close enough but much better(in my opinion)!
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And ofc u wear whatever u want!
Bella lokey loves wolf version of you, I mean the piggyback rides are insane.
And your just so fluffy, great cuddle material.
You guys have a quiet simple life but it's never boring.
If you decide to have children I'm thanking the God's it won't be named Renesme.
You guys love to cook together and try new recipes
She eventually gets used to the rain and gloom of Forks. It seems to be growing on her tbh
Sometimes you'll be sitting on your bed watching a old movie and both of you will just sit and laugh about what life would gave been like if Edward had stayed in Forks.
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echantedtoon · 5 months
Text
Demon Bride Ch33 Bride Of The Kizuki
(This will HEAVILY reference s3 ep1 of Demon Slayer.
WARNINGS!!!:Gore, fighting , decapitation, limbs being cut off, some innuendos, blood, threats, cussing, and Enmu,Karaku, and Douma ARE their own warnings.
IMPORTANT INFO!!: I should've mentioned it earlier but Yahaba, Susamaru, Daki, Nakime, and OBVIOUSLY Rui and Zohakuten will NOT be a part of the love interest roster!! However Daki will be a wing woman to Gyutaro. And the place Y/n and Rui will be staying is in this beautiful mansion here in the picture shown above.)
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"WHAT?!"
Your head turned to Kaigaku who now decided to raise his head and looked a mixture of shocked and raged at the sentence that left the red eyed Demons mouth. You just sat there..your brain spaced out and there was a ringing in your ears as you blanked. Around her different demons had similar reactions to the news. Akaza only looked more shocked than he ever did I'm his life. Enmu lit up with a smile. Five brothers looked wide eyed and jaw dropped. The platinum-blonde demon blinked and hummed in slight curiosity. And other demons had similar reactions ranging between shock or just blank staring. Except for the tall demon with the ponytail. He stayed absolutely still, still facing away from you.
"I know. I know." This Muzan man raised a hand with a sigh. "All of you were expecting me to banish her or perhaps make you sever any ties you may have with her but I have decided to take my wife's advice and let you all be happy. But I don't want to see anymore mistakes."
"Oh, darling." A soft hand reached to caress Muzan's cheek. "I'm so happy you're taking this so well. Now doesn't this save so much time and energy?"
He smiled almost smugly at his mischief leaning into her touch. "Yes. And everyone will be happy to know that I blessed their happy engagement."
"Well I hope they just know that they have my blessing too."
He smiled wider. "I'm sure they'll be so happy to hear that. Why don't I take you both out for dinner now that I have more spare time?"
"Oh, that's a wonderful idea."
"YYYYAAAYY!!! I wanna go to that restaurant with the giant mochi cakes!," The little girl cheered throwing up her arms.
"Hmhm. Whatever my princess wants. You all are dismissed for now. But come back here in three months time on June first. That's when Ill be holding the initiation ceremony for our new Kizuki members. However the child and your...fiance shall stay within the infinity castle to better care for the boy. Kokushibo." Said tall ponytail wearing man tilted his head at Muzan. "See to it that the necessary arrangements for their stay are made, and over see the repairs to the Tsuzumi Mansion. And most of all make sure that the five responsible for it's destruction help rebuild it. I want the job completed before next month is over."
"Understood."
"Then the rest of you are dismissed and are to go back to work immediately. Nakime, you know where I want to go."
S T R U M!!
In an instant the entire small family unit disappeared and left everyone standing there in absolute shock... before Yahaba huffed and crossed his arms.
"Well I for one have no interest in the poverty poor! You all may have the honors of having her!"
"Yyyeeahh." Susamaru agreed next to him with a bored look. "Romancing doesn't sound very fun, besides she doesn't even look strong."
''On top of that we have no time with our very important job. Nakime, if you could do us the honors of sending us to the same location as our Lord?"
STRUM!!
In a blink of an eye two more demons disappeared by the strum of the black haired demon's biwa. "I also respectfully decline the offer. I see no need to pursue."
"I understand...I will make Lord...Muzan aware of your..choices.."
"Mother?" A small hand gently poked your cheek as Rui managed to wriggle from your grasp and stand. "You look as if you're going to die. Are you alright?"
Your thousand mile stare finally slowly refocused. "Oh. Yes. I'm alright......WHAT THE F U C K JUST HAPPENED?!'' Everyone except for the ponytailed demon turned to look at you as you jumped to your feet furiously. "ONE OF YOU BETTER TELL ME I DIDN'T HEAR THAT RIGHT!! KYOGAI!!" Said demon jumped being addressed. "Tell me I was hallucinating and I heard him say it wrong!!"
"....You...and we..did not hear it wrong," he settled on saying which made your jaw drop as he slowly stood back up. "Our Master has officially arranged an engagement between you and me..'' He then looked confused and slowly looked to about everyone else. "And Kaigaku I guess?..And.. everyone else here."
You could only stare at him jaw dropped. ..No. no. NONONONONONONONO!! N. O!!! THIS COULD NOT BE HAPPENING!! YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!! YOU RAN AWAY FOR THE SOLE REASON YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE FORCED INTO A MARRIAGE!!!....OK. GRANTED. An engagement is a lot different from a marriage and it's not like you would have to do anything anyone says. BUT YOU WERE ENGAGED TO MULTIPLE OF THESE DEMONS?! WAS THAT EVEN ALLOWED?!
"ALL OF YOU BACK OFF!! SHE WAS MY FIANCE FIRST YOU CREEP!!" Kaigaku hissed again and once again blocked Enmu whom had the most love strikken faces you'd ever seen on a man. 
"Oh Y/N-CHAAAAAANNN!!"~," Enmu called out to you waving an arm, pushing against the growling Kaigaku. "My love, my begonia, my FI-AN-CCCEEEEE!!~ I can't wait for you to get me in your arms once again!!~"
"Cut it out!!"
"ENOUGH." Both struggling demons stopped and looked up at the ponytail wearing demon whom still hadn't moved from his spot but tilted his head at them. "Both of you...are causing a disgraceful...scene. I recommend you stop."
To your surprise they did stop albeit Kaigaku reluctantly removed his hands from Enmu's front with a scowl.  You only shook your head and reached a hand up to rub your temples. Great. Just great! Now you went from misunderstandings to being engaged to multiple demons. How could this get any worse-...A blast of cold air hit you as a shadow blocked out the light above you. You froze as something very large towered over you and made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. Ever so slowly you looked up meeting a red shirt, and continued up, up, up until you met rainbow glassy eyes. And you felt your body going rigid as a pair of sharp nail lightly touched your cheek near the ear.
"Well I must say...When I was called here I was expecting a slew of things-," he spoke in a low, cool voice that sent a shiver of creeps down your spine."-but I wasn't expecting that I would meet my future spouse.~" He felt that shiver of disgust your body gave and smiled wider, sliding those nails along your jawline until his cold knuckles pushed your head up further to face him. "Aw. Look at that. We haven't even spent our wedding night together and already you're shivering.~ I seem to have that effect on so many people.~''
THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.
Many eyes turned and watched wide eyed as a powerful driving force began stepping over towards Douma's exposed back. Veins popped up along strong arms as fists clenched up and an fluffy pink eyelid twitched as narrowed eyes focused all his rage on one individual.
"...Are you serious?," You asked deadpanned frowning. Your blunt words caught the blonde demon off guard whom blinked and it made the demon with the long ponytail tilt his Head your direction. "This is the first time we met and you insinuate your perverted fantasies of me in front of my child?!" A small smack sound sounded as your hand made contact with his knocking it away. "How dare you?! You perverted piece of glass!!" A finger harshly poked him in the chest making him blink down at where you poked him. "Someone ought to teach you a lesson!!"
His smile temporary disappeared as he blinked curiously at your hand, and tilting his head like a puppy. As if he was unsure what to think of the action... before smiling way too wide and friendly for a normal person. "Oh I get it. You want to be courted first. After all, women love to be showered in affection and swooned." His eyes became half lidded. "I can't wait to-''
CRACK!!
Blood spattered. Talking stopped. And half of the blonde demon's head was completely gone. Behind him Akaza held his other fists was again covered in blood that dripped down his arm. You just froze again at the sight...but not being sick to the stomach at this anymore.
"She just told you she wasn't interested," Akaza spoke slowly to the frozen body standing. "Now back off before I tear-"
SHING!!
More blood gushed from Akaza's now decapitated hand as it fell to the floor with a thud leaving the pink haired demon looking slightly shocked at what happened... before he turned his head to the new figure next to him. The demon with the long ponytail. He held out a long blade that dripped red and still had his back turned towards you. Wait.. Where'd be come from?!
"Akaza," this new demon spoke lowly, "You always go too far..."
"It's alright, Lord Kokushibo," Douma's mouth spoke before with a crackling sound, his head regenerated completely and a smile was sent their way. "I don't mind in the slightest."
"It's not for your...own benefit..that I speak." With a clink noise his sword was resheathed. "He disrupts the hierarchy...which in turn gives...way to insubordination amongst...the ranks. It's unacceptable."
"...Oh. I see!," Douma spoke.
"Akaza...If you're unsatisfied with the ranks...then why not back up your...words and challenge him to a battle."
"Aw. C'mon. Cut him some slack. It wasn't that serious," Douma spoke waving a hand, "You know as well as I do that if he challenged us, he'd only embarrass himself. Look he's only angsty that's all.  Probably because I became a Kizuki after him, and still got promoted before him.  I'd be upset too if I were in his shoes. Don't be so hard on him.  I mean besides I didn't dodge his attack on purpose. It's harmless horseplay. It's our way of nurturing our friendship. Those on top shouldn't be giving out subordinates a hard time. Don't you think-"
"Akaza," the samurai demon spoke completely ignoring what Douma said, "From here on out...you are to show some respect...Do you understand?"
"Oh I understand." Akaza stiffly looked over his shoulder at the demon heaving. "I understand that I'm going to kill you if it's the last thing I do."
"Is that so?...Then I wish you the best....Now we will get this situation settled."
"What matter is that?!," Akaza growled.
"The legal start of courtship." About everyone froze at his suggestion but he continued on. "Those who don't wish to court the human....should say so now and eliminate themselves. If you do...then present her with a courting gift. Those who do shall be...seen."
You saw the monochrome demon huff in annoyance before leaving and some woman's voice came from above.
"Like I'd do that."
Then there was silence as everyone looked at one another seeming unsure... before Kaigaku spoke up.
"I already staked my claim," he spoke firmly and pointed right at you,  "That magatama around her neck is mine. She's wearing it right now showing her choice."
There was another pause as again everyone looked at one another before something came down over your head. You flinched and looked up but stopped when Akaza stared back at you. You stared as something smooth was slid along your neck and left there. Your hand immediately reached up to touch it and met smooth beads, immediately you looked down and saw one of the beaded ankles Akaza always wore gone. 
"Here! Take this as a symbol of my love, Begonia!" Enmu suddenly appeared before you and held out a-
"A bottle?," Kaigaku scoffed crossing his arms, "Seriously the best you can come up with?"
"Ah. You undermine me, Deal Kaigaku. This happens to be the best fever medicine for children~," Enmu bragged with a smile on his face making Kaigaku paused as he held it up to you. "It's guaranteed to cure the boys fevers instantly.~ Just be sure be doesn't take it on an empty stomach."
You stared in awe at the bottle of medicine.. before deciding to take it. For Rui not yourself.
"I'm not about to be out done so easily! I called dibs first anyways!!"
"No you didn't, Urogi. I called dibs wwwaaayyyy before you did if she was cute and she is.~"
"H-Hey. I-I-I want to be the o-one to have her h-hand.''
You blinked and looked up as not one not two not three but FOUR of the Hantengu Brothers came rushing over towards you and you jumped as you were bombarded with trinkets from the three shoved into your arms. A long pretty feather plucked from Urogi's wing. A leaf fan summoned from no where and shoved into your hand by Karaku who was specific to say-
"Even if you flap this fan nothing will happen. It's simply a dud and just for show, just in case so ya won't get blown away.~"
Gee. How considerant. The blue eyed demon, who introduced himself as Aizetsu, timidly offered just a simple chain of dark blue rope he cut off from the thick blue rope on his shoulders. His hands were trembling as they held it out to you. But you were really surprised when the red eyed demon stood there glowering at you... before just tossing a gold ring from his jingling staff at you and turned his head quickly with a growl.
"I'm only interested in making sure a strong mate is secured into my family, and you somehow saved two of my bumbling brothers! So I should at least give something in return!! ITS NOT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU AT ALL LET'S GET THAT CLEAR!" He wouldn't tell anyone he was enticed by your pretty purple eyes or how nice you smelled or when you didn't take his shit when you gave him a deadpanned look.
"...I'll accept your apology but if you ever try taking Rui again-," you growled making him lean back. "-Is will kill you! And be nicer to your brothers!! Dammit you remind me of a headache I used to have."
"WHAT?! IM GOING OUT OF MY WAY TO BE DECENT AND YO-"
"Shush." Your soft hand pressed to his mouth. "You stress too much." You removed your hand as he just stared at you.
He sputtered. "I-...WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"
You rolled your eyes. "Should I kiss you and make it feel better?"
"YES!!" Sekido yelled at your face angrily heart beating. You blinked as he snarled at you angrily...before Karaku snickered beside him making him pause. "...Wait a minute. I MEANT NO!! STOP MESSSING WITH MY HEAD!!"
"Aw. Do I need to kiss that better too?," You asked him raising a brow.
"I-.... RRRRRRAAAAAUUUUGGH!!! THIS IS HOPELESS!!!"  He then turned and stomped off past his brothers two of which burst out laughing at his reaction.
You only sighed struggling to hold all the items given to you, only added to when Kyogai timidly offered you a drum and you noticed the one from his right shoulder missing. He looked so red when you brushed against his hand taking it from him. Although you tried to back  away from Douma who just forced a...piece of ice shaped like a lotus?? Into your arms and looked pleased with himself.
"I don't think we've been introduced.~ I'm Douma and my aren't you radiant.~ I'm so glad the Master gifted me such a delicate smelling lotus flower.~," he purred making you deadpan. "Anyways. I don't think I got your name Miss??"
"Y/n." you stated flatly, "And thank you for the compliments-"
"Ah thank nothing of it." He flashed a fanged grin at you, "I know how it can be sometime meeting an Upper Moon and all that but it really is no big deal-"
"Oh you're right about that." He paused stopping, blinking wide eyed at your deadpanned face mouth agape in a smile as he processed what you had bluntly but politely stated. "You do seem REALLY nice and I really appreciate all the nice things you said to me but I'll have to stop you right there with the flirting. No offense to you of course, and I don't mean anything by it." You turned from him. "You just aren't my type. I'm sure you'll find a nice person soon tho with your looks and charms. So you might as well take back the ice."
Every. Paused. At what you just said...
Did...Douma just get..rejected? By a woman?...DOUMA?! WITH HIS GOOD LOOKS AND CHARMS AND HOW MANY WOMEN AND EVEN MEN SWOON FOR HIM?!?! Douma stood there blankly pupils small, mouth wide open still in a dumb smile, and mind reeling from being rejected so fast. This...had never happened before. No one spoke a word. There were no sounds-..Wait. There was one sound. The sound of someone chuckling amused.
"I see she....at least had..common sense. Now...if there's no one...else who will be joining then-"
FWUMP!!
You jumped as something red and black fell on your face and you blinked one uncovered eye at everyone else as some kind of cloth feeling thing fell directly on top of your head. Akaza was the one who took it off of you seeing as your arms were full and you finally got a good look at the thing, a smallish circular piece of cloth that reminded you of a headband that was mostly red but had a black vein-ish pattern to it. You all stared at it before Akaza looked up and so did you, all the way to the two people still on the ceiling. Hey. That was the skinny guy who told you to bow earlier. The man looked mortified while the woman next to him crossed her arms giving a 'are you happy now' look. You narrowed your eyes and noticed the man wore the same red garments on his arms. 
"Very well....If anyone else does not have anything...to say them we are...finished here."
''Wait a moment," you spoke up arms still full and staring at the back of this man. "I didn't agree to any of this! I hardly even know more than three of you here. Surely this type of thing isn't legal." In desperation you turned to Kyogai. "Right?"
Kyogai hissed through his teeth and looked unsure. "I am...unsure at this moment. The Master has the power to engage whom he wishes-" You frowned harder at him. "B-But I can look over the laws concerning this sort of thing and get back to you on the matter!"
"Which will be...after repairs are made.." The samurai demon spoke. "For now...if all your concerns are addressed....I will show you where... you shall be staying.."
You slowly looked back to the demon, frowned, and spoke. "Yes. I do have one concern. I didn't hear you apologize."
Silence.
No one reacted at first but slowly shocked faces looked to you like you were crazy. Well everyone except for Douma who looked mildly curious at your blunt statement. The samurais stiff form did not change.
"....Of course," he finally settled on in that monotonous voice that made you feel a powerful pulse behind it. This man was obviously very powerful in some way you didn't understand. "You probably were startled...by our sudden presence....If it brings comfort....you need not fear them...nor myself-"
"I'm not scared of any demon here! Which includes you!," You spoke feeling anger bubble up from your chest, "And you apologize shouldn't be directed at me, it should be towards Akaza!"
Akaza looked like he was about to die as he paled and again everyone looked between you and the samurai.
".....I disagree....He knows better too...strike a higher ranking moon...if he wishes to insinuate a fight...then he should do so by Blood Battle..."
"I don't think you understand what I'm saying."
"Y/n," Akaza gave a small warning look which you blatantly ignored.
"I don't want you to apologize for stopping them from fighting, I want you to apologize for insulting Akaza for defending me from the blonde pervert over there." You rose your head with a look that'd put a haughty rich noble to shame. "I thought he was doing me a grand favor. Next time I would prefer him NOT to be so bloody about it-" you have Akaza a look. "-especially in front of my child, but I appreciate his efforts nonetheless."
Everyone looked at you.... before simultaneously turning their heads to the tall samurai who still didn't move. As if thinking. 
"....I will...take that into consideration... however Akaza..." Said pink haired demon glared back at him. "..next time you wish...to challenge a rival...suitor...do so by proper battle...and not mindless violence...that angers Lord Muzan...Do you understand me?"
"....SURE," Akaza hissed out clenching a fist making it pop in anger. "As long as he doesn't provoke me." Douma cooed in response making him hiss back.
"ENOUGH. You two...return to your duties...as well as the rest of you..." A single hand pointed out at the five Hantengu Brothers. "You five however...remain here along with Kyogai...we have to fix..the Tsuzumi Mansion.."
"That's it? You won't apologize?"
"They were already warned."
"That's bullshit. Kaigaku defended me from Enmu's advances and you're not going to give him a lecture for Enmu being a rank higher than him?"
Kaigaku now looked pale but the samurai spoke again. "They were also warned...if it...happens again then there....will be greater consequences.."
"....I owe both Kaigaku and Akaza an apology then. THAT'S the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
"Hmm.... Normally others wouldn't talk...like that to me. ..Where does your... respect go in my presence?"
"I don't know what you mean. Respect is earnt not given. I can respect you for your difficult position but I won't just blindly give all my respect to a man who acts perverted to me upon first talking to me." You GLARED at the blonde demon. "Or those who tried to kidnap my child." You then glared at the Hantengu Brothers. "Or someone who disregards my concerns even if he does it in a respectful manner." You then glanced back to the samurai. "Going forward I hope you can show me you can get me to respect you not by intimidation, but by mutual respect."
".......... Interesting....I have never...been threatened by that ... before..."
"It's not a threat but an offer. I would like to get to know you in a respectful manner. Let's start by our names. My name is Y/n. What is yours?"
"..... Kokushibo."
"Kokushibo?...That name suits you. It sounds as powerful as you look."
He still didn't turn to you before he spoke again. "If there is nothing else...I will show you to your room."
"Sensai," Kaigaku spoke up with a serious frown, "I want to discuss something with you involving Enmu."
"..Very well...both of you...wait here with the others...The rest of you go...the human and child follows me."
You stood there for a moment before looking around you at everyone around her... before sighing deeply and starting to walk off after the tall samurai. Rui blinked before looking at Akaza.
"Good bye, Father. Come visit soon. Mother still needs to be proposed to," he spoke making the pink haired demon freeze as the pale demon scampered off after you.
Everyone slowly turned to the frozen demon.... before a hand with blue nails cooed and pinched his cheek. "Akaza.~ I didn't know you were planning on homewrecking us all.~"
"IM GOING TO MURDER YOU SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!! GET OFF!!"
You turned your head only once seeing Akaza about to strike the blonde demon again and you turned back around continuing to follow Kokushibo across a bridge away from the platform you were all on Rui right behind you. The lay out of this place was so baffling. There was more stairs here which was connected to more halls there which was right by a giant moving building there-You blinked as a massive square pillar of rooms, doors,and windows lowly moved passed you. From inside the rooms you could see a MULTITUDE OF DEMONS. But they looked.... different....more...
Fancy.
The men looked to be adorned in beautifully hand tailored clothes, but the woman looked even MORE fancy all dolled up in the level of oirans with layers of beautifully patterned silks and jewelry and expertly applied make up dripping from their faces. But that wasn't what creeped you out.
They were all staring right at you.
All of them gave you strange, curious, or outright sneers. You gave a frown back as the building passed and you looked at Kokushibo. 
"Those people were staring at me."
"When a member...of the Twelve Kizuki...is engaged to it is announced...to the other nobility here....No doubt someone..has already spread the rumors." He sighed. "This will...no doubt...cause problems I will have...to fix later. Your new placement...above them...will no doubt...anger a few..."
You stared at him wide eyed. "New placement? What on earth do you mean by that?!"
"You are now above them all...being the bride of the Kizuki...I can imagine how they will...take it. It would be best...to just keep to yourself..until I get this ....sorted. However do not be... alarmed... nothing shall happen to you...it would be stupid to...try anything to...a bride of more than one... Kizuki."
"Oh well thank goodness for that." You frowned. "I was hoping I'd get chased by women in so many layers of silk they'd trip and make me die laughing .And men so full of hot air that they'd use that hot air of there's to cook me alive. I always wanted to be bored to death by rich people talking about how much better they are because they use gold coins to wipe the gold nuggets they s-...?!"
You suddenly stopped just in time to not run into Kokushibo who stopped. "Do you... always show such disrespect?"
"I show what respect is shown me. If someone thinks they're better simply based on money then they have more problems then just getting my 'disrespect'." You frowned.
"... Interesting....What would you say would...make someone better?"
"I don't think anyone is better than anyone else unless they chose to be a bad person." You rose a brow. Why was he asking you this? "I don't think I'm better than you or Rui or anyone else because I'm human. Just like I don't believe Akaza believes he's better than humans because he happens to be a powerful demon. It's not that simple either however."
"..... Explain...."
"I just said it's not easy to explain. You may have a higher position than someone like the other Kizuki or any other person but I would still treat you as an equal and with respect as long as I see you treating others with the same respect and equality. If you believe something like strength or wealth makes you better then that's your own flaw." What would be a good way to explain this in a way A demon could understand A human? "...A painter may not have the strength of a blacksmith but that doesn't mean they both can't create beautiful masterpieces. A florist may not know how to till the land like a farmer but that doesn't mean they can't grow beautiful plants. A teacher may not be able to win against the strength of a sumo wrestler but that doesn't mean their different skills makes one more important than the other.," You explained making Rui look up in awe at you and the man tilt his head in your direction. Not turning fully around, but enough to know he acknowledged you're talking. "You can lose skills, you can gain skills. There's always going to be people that do things better than you, and there's always going to be people that do things way worse than you. But that shouldn't define the worth of a person. Whether it be a man, woman, child, or even a demon."
The head turned more and you could make out a mouth turned sideways but the long bangs blocked out the sight of the rest of his face. "Then...how do you...define...who is a good person?"
"That isn't as simple either."
"What do you mean?"
"Some people are just good. Some people are just bad....But a lot of times it's subjective to different people. Good people can do bad things especially if they think what they're doing justifies the greater good. Bad people can do good things if they want to, whether that's because they still have some kindness or because it's to get what they want I can't say. ...But most people I believe aren't inheritantly bad or good. Most fall in a place between." You winced pulling the things in your arms closer to yourself when you thought about the bad things you did. "I know I've done bad things. I've lied just to get away from a bad situation and I probably left a lot of people in trouble and angry at me. I got a friend of mine in trouble for convincing her to sneak out with me recently...I'm not really proud of it, but I won't deny what I did was wrong. That'll only make it worse."
"Then....What traits do you...use to judge others...if you yourself..have done wrong?," The mouth spoke to you.
You blinked surprised at all the sudden questions from Kokushibo but it was a nice change of pace from what he said earlier. "Well...Firstly Id admit what I did was wrong and not deny it. Secondly, I would judge someone else by what makes up that person." You gestured at him. "Their actions, their words, their morals, their personalities, and how they apply all of those things when interacting with me or anyone else. I'd also think about their point of view if I thought it would help me know how or why they would treat someone in a way."
There was silence afterwards for a long, long moment. You could feel him looking directly at you from behind the bangs calculating, as he was trying to figure out how he felt about what you just said to him. 
"Hydrangea."
You blinked. What did he say?"What?"
"Your scent has changed to...that of a hydrangea flower... suddenly....Hmm....Rather strange...for a human."
"I know," you said with a nod acknowledging what he said. "You wouldn't be the first one to say that..." Your head tilted and you could feel he was watching your every move carefully.
However he turned his head back around and continued walking. "Come...I have much work to do."
You all began to walk again and you fell quiet as he lead you past other confusing layouts. Every so often you'd see more demons in rooms, most of those demons were dressed fancily and carried an aura off 'I definitely think I'm better than you'. But most of the demons you saw here and there were servants of all kinds. There was a man serving food to what looked like a wealthy blue skinned demon couple. A maid sweeping the floor of a hallway you both walked through but bowed as soon as she saw Kokushibo. Another maid was polishing a nother hallway UPSIDE DOWN directly above you as you all walked by and you gazed up in awe at her. Not even the  literally bucket of water was spilling as she continued working. You all didn't stop until you all rounded a corner...and you stopped at what you saw. 
Darkness.
Everything was much darker than before but a blue hue of light gently lit up the giant thing before you. It was a mansion-...No. Not a mansion. IT WAS A BLOODY PALACE!! A giant palace like building stood before you smack dab in the middle of a glowing blue lake filled to o the brim with lilypads and lotus blooms floating in the water. Docks darted all around the water leading too and from the building in the center. The building itself must've been at least four stories tall with pure white walls and darkened tiled roofs, it was even bigger than the tall buildings in the Red Light District. Rui also looked around in awe before pointing. 
"What's that building for?"
"It is the home...for the families...of the Kizuki...so far you...are the only one...who is living here. The other Kizuki... currently have no other...family that would..live here."
"Mother," Rui said tugging on your kimono. "We'll have this entire place to ourselves."
"Not entirely...This is also...the home of the Kizuki whenever...they stay within the Infinity Castle. Come...I'll escort you...To the doors."
You still followed him across the docks towards the palace gazing down into the glowing blue water. Inside swam-
"Look, Mother. There's koi fish in the water," Rui said pointing out the many beautiful fish swimming in the water.
They shimmered in the light and seemed like beautiful ghosts in the heavens.  They also reminded you of Eri's fiance. You just continued to follow Kokushibo across this maze of docks until you reached the giant double doors and stopped. Looking up the shadow of the building loomed over you seeming threatening. Not as quant or as comforting as Kyogai's mansion. You just stood there until the door creaked open making you flinch and an older man in fancy looking black silk robes and a...too big smile on his face and at least one giant eye green blinking right at you. 
"Lord Kokushibo, we've been expecting you!," He spoke in a fancy nasally way as he bowed making you cringe at the sound of his skeezy, spoiled voice. "And this must be the Lady we've all heard about.~ Such lovely eyes.~ " You couldn't help but grimace at the words he spoke making your dislike clear, but if he did see it he ignored it. "Will you be coming in to inspect the magnificent Kizuki Dwell? Or maybe you'd like some tea before you leave?~"
"No....I must be on my way...You will be able to care for them?"
"Oh absolutely! Lest my head he lobed off my Lord Akaza." 
"Then I'll leave you with him." He again turned his head towards you. "This is...there I leave you....If there is anything else....you request please let me..know." he then turned to the left leaving you to stare at his back again. 
"Wait!" You shouted and would've held a hand up if you weren't carrying so many things, and he instantly paused. "I don't want or need anything materialistic from you, but I would like to request you to do one thing and it'll only be this once."
"Name it."
"I want to see your face. Especially your eyes."
The skeezy demon only blinked in confusion and intrigue as he looked between the two of you. Kokushibo remained cold, calm, still. Not responding or saying anything at all. You thought maybe perhaps you offended him for a moment before a small footsteps sounded out and the large body slowly turned. Slowly, slowly, slowly. You saw the side of his face. Silently, silently, silently. His whole front chest stood before you. You looked up at his face. 
Six eyes stared back at you.
Red sclera. Yellow irises. And the symbols of Upper Moon One printed right across the middle of pair as all six stared directly at you veins similar to Akaza's sprouted all over the sclera. On the upper left of his face and lower right of his chin had strange flame looking markings you hadn't seen any other demon have and his face was framed by long reddish-black bangs. Power. Lots of it. All of that radiated from him...but there was something almost...human about it underneath it all.  He remained silent in your silence..
".... You're different from all the others." He visibly stiffened at your words. "Your structure is beautiful that way."
He stopped fully just ... looking at you yellow irises expanding wider.
You smiled. "Just by looking at you, you're very powerful. I guess that's why you're the top Kizuki." You then bowed. "Thank you for honoring my request. I think our first impressions have gone well."
He continued to silently stared at her bow as if shocked... before relaxing and feeling one pulse from his chest to make a choice. ".....Three weeks."
You blinked looking back up. "Pardon?"
"Three weeks...Give me that time...and I will make proper arrangements...for me to start courting you properly." You stood there stunned as did Rui when a hand grabbed your own and lifted it up slowly shifting the objects in your arms until he held it up high near his face before bowing and pressing his forehead to your knuckles eyes closed as you stared at him wide eyed. "I will speak with..Lord Muzan about permanenting our... arrangements....In mean time..wait here." He slowly lowered your hand back and slowly releasing it. You stood frozen still as he wondered something first. ...And a hand gently grabbed your chin tilting it up to make your eyes meet his. "I have nothing to give...as a proper gift...but this should... suffice...for now..."
You still remained frozen as he leaned forward.
As he closed the distance.
As he almost touched your face.
As Rui peered around. And his eyes went wide. And he pointed. "Look, Mother! Father's here!"
"UPPER MOON ONE. I CHALLENGE YOU FOR THE RIGHT TO HER AFFECTIONS!!"
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ablackfangirl · 2 years
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Yeah so I think this is going to turn into a series cause this one started to get too long so im gonna put it in a part 3 if anything they'll be 4 parts too it maybe 5? Anyways ill call it arranged marriage with gojo and here's part 1 if u want to read it
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You were supposed to be getting married today but instead you were leaving the gojo estate
As you left one thing filled your mind
Relief
That was the main feeling you felt as you finally cut ties from that man
Relief with a twinge of sadness
After all it was years of your life basically waisted trying to win him over but he never even gave you a chance
At least not until he thought you were pretty enough
"He tried to apologize y/n...that has to count for something? You can't just throw all the time we've put into you away." You remembered your mother's words to you
Everyone was trying to make you go through with it but you're mind was made up
None of them could understand
No one would be able to understand what you had to go through mentally dealing with Gojo all these years
Yes when you were younger the two of you teased and messed with each other
But as you got older you stopped but he didn't
He only got worse
And at one point you understood why
Yeah it sucked being engaged to someone since the age of five with no choice in the matter
But he wasn't the only one going through that. You thought you'd find common ground in that but he only seemed to want to push you away
And he finally succeeded
"Y/n!"
Your name was called out right before you got in the backseat of the car to take you home
And then you saw Satoru running towards you
Your first reaction was to ignore him but he kept yelling for you until he finally caught up
"Gojo..."
"Don't leave." He told you breathing heavily
"Gojo I told you already I'm not marrying you and there is nothing you or anyone can say to change my mind."
"Look I get it, I was an ass-i am an ass but give me a chance?"
You wanted to laugh in face, "a chance?"
But gojo was serious, "look all this time together couldn't be for nothing."
You pushed his hand off your shoulder, "nothing? You made it for nothing Satoru. I had been patient I tried you were the asshole and now wh-"
"And now I'm asking you to give me another chance-"
"I'm not marrying you."
"I'm not asking for marriage I'm asking for a date."
"A date?"
Satoru took off his glasses, "just a date, that's all I'm asking we've been on play dates before so let's go on our first real one."
"Why should I?"
"Please just give me a chance to make it right let me show you I'm not only a dick...please."
You know you should get into the car and leave him
But a secret part of you that never wanted to admit it wished the last 15 years of your life wasn't a waste
You wished things did work out
So you closed your eyes and sighed "One date that's all."
"That's all I need." He smiled
You rolled your eyes as you got in the car
"Wait, I thought you said you'd give me a chance?"
"Yeah, but not today." You laughed, "call me when you have the date planned out. If you still have my number that is."
"Wait," gojo is smiling, "how do you know I don't already have it set?"
"Because I know you Satoru." And without saying anything else you rolled up the window left
Satoru couldn't deny the electricity he felt from just your words. How could he have been this oblivious to you until now?
"Fuck, I gotta marry her." Gojo said as he watched the car drive away
It's the same day when he's with Suguru talking trying to think of the perfect date
"What's something y/n likes? Like her favorite color? Or food? What does she even do for fun?"
Suguru rolls his eyes at him, "15 years you've known her and you can't even name one thing she likes."
Gojo rubbed his face getting frustrated "I know, I know im shitty Satoru...but I'm trying to do the right thing now." He snapped back, "Now tell me something- Anything about her."
Suguru isn't one hundred percent sure if he should help
Cause he saw how his friend hurt you over and over until you went away
And he didn't want to say it out loud but over the years he's grown quite the crush on you
Because unlike Gojo he stopped being immature and got to know you
And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little happy when he heard you canceled the wedding
He thought maybe this was the opportunity he always wanted
It wasn't like you and gojo had a good realtionship anyway so he never felt guilty about his feelings for you
But here you was giving him another chance why? He wanted to know
But also he wondered if he should help or potentially sabotage...but than again this was Gojo you were talking about
He was sure he'd figure out how to screw himself so maybe he should help
"(Favorite flower)"
"Huh?"
"She likes (fave flowers, color, food, animal.")
Satoru frowned, "You...know an awful lot about her..."
Suguru just shrugged before leaving , "I just listened to her when she talks."
Gojo sat there thinking about it but then he smiled he knew something about you
Granted it was stuff he should have already known
But he was determined the two of you were going to have the perfect date
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