#'why did you do it cloud'

[himemiyasanthy]

rescuing cloud from hojo in nibelheim 

#zack fair #cloud strife #crisis core #crisis core reunion #final fantasy #hey gamers! i was wondering.... why tf did he hold him that long? #hey gamers? do you know ? #gamers please im crying #first gifs for like 6 years sry about the quality #mine

[sealrock]

tell me, what makes a human?

#mypost. #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv oc #gifs. #first official gpose of the yearrr #this is for kirke's no. 1 fan (thefreelanceangel) #this is the only time i'm glad for the blurriness. it adds to the creepiness of it and how you can't /exactly/ see what you're looking at #these were meant to be still images since it was vertical but i had the idea of doing a gif like i did for hector #kinda hard to see as a result but open for full size #so kirke's new lore centers around transhumanism. i'm currently redoing it and she's. this now #kirke's technically not 'human' anymore. she's a cluster of sentinent allagan nanites (made by amon) who takes over the brains of the dead #to combat decomposition she's been adding cyberkinetic addons to it overtime because she likes this body #it's hard to tell but her torso down to her pelvis has been replaced. no more flesh #'but kirke why not just make a new body from scratch?' where's the fun in that #and similar to yves she needs aether to animate her body; but instead of needing aether for consumption she uses it as a 'battery' to move #since she's a big cloud of nanites if she runs out of aether she will more or less 'die' #and it takes a lot more aether to move a dead body it takes less power to animate a robot body #she's like a deranged energizer bunny #it's not surprising that yves and kirke ended up together. he's her own charger #also didn't use her normal hair here because her eyes are integral #body horror cw #glitch cw #flashing cw #q.

[lilnasxvevo]

Lan Wangji picking up some of Wei Wuxian’s speech patterns unconsciously and then being horrified to find out that they were originally Jiang Cheng’s speech patterns that Wei Wuxian picked up from HIM

#Jiang Cheng visiting Cloud Recesses: why does your wretched husband have one of my charming little mannerisms now Wei Wuxian what did you DO

[fromtheseventhhell]

Saw a Sansa fan say this about Arya when ranting about how unfair it is how everyone is treating Septa Mordane. "Ned gave her the impossible task of making a lady out of Arya, but he indulges his daughter when she rolls on mud or behaves in a socially unacceptable way. So Arya obviously doesn’t listen to Septa Mordane (or Catelyn, for that matter) when she tries to correct her behavior. Why would she? Septa Mordane’s power comes from Ned, and with his behavior he’s taking away her authority to establish rules and to enforce discipline". They just want to completely ignore the fact that Septa Mordane bullied Arya to the point of tears, attempting to embarrass her in front of Myrcella.

The "Septa Mordane was trying her best" takes are always hilarious because they always ignore the context of the situation. They act like she was some poor, frazzled old woman who was at her wit's end when it came to dealing with Arya.

First, nowhere is it that Arya routinely disregards Septa Mordane. I know people have this idea that Arya was just running around Winterfell doing whatever she wanted, but it's clear she was subject to very structured learning practices. The two major examples of her disobeying Septa Mordane are both under uncommon circumstances. If Arya was truly so disobedient and never faced consequences for her actions, then she wouldn't have been in her sewing lesson and attempting her work in the first place. Instead, she is working on her lesson without issue until the moment when Mordane remarks negatively on her work and embarrasses her to the point of tears. Arya's remark that she's going to "shoe a horse" is in response to Mordae telling her she has the hands of a Blacksmith, so it's obvious that her insulting Arya's work and making an example of her was a fairly common occurrence. She also uses her as a measure of bad behavior; she tells Sansa that she is "as willful as Arya" when she's behaving "improperly" and Sansa internalizes this + later thinks she felt as "wicked as Arya".

The second time is when Arya leaves a meal without permission. The lack of empathy for Arya is just so blatant because moment's before we have Arya's internal monologue of mourning her friend's death and thinking she doesn't feel safe among her father's men like she used to. All of this gets ignored and this moment is reduced to Arya being difficult. This person used Ned's quote about Septa Mordane turning Arya into a Lady but apparently, they neglected to read the entire conversation.

"I wasn't playing," Arya insisted. "I hate Septa Mordane." "That's enough." Her father's voice was curt and hard. "The septa is doing no more than is her duty, though gods know you have made it a struggle for the poor woman. Your mother and I have charged her with the impossible task of making you a lady."

This moment that they quoted is Ned doing exactly what he, supposedly, never does and supporting Septa Mordane + disciplining Arya. This entire conversation between the two is Ned telling Arya that she has to grow out of her wild behavior and listen to her teacher. And the only reason that they're having that conversation in the first place is because she went and told Ned of Arya's behavior. So I'm really lost on this logic. There is not a single moment in the story where Septa Mordane is undermined by either Ned or Cat. She has their support in both instances of Arya disobeying her. She isn't even ever faulted for Arya's lack of progress. She is allowed to be incompetent at her job with full authority. So I guess??? Ned and Cat were just never supposed to be nice to Arya or allow her to have fun??? I'm not sure what their idea of Ned "properly" supporting Septa Mordane looks like since we already have that in the story.

Septa Mordane as a teacher, and an adult, has authority over Arya. Whether or not her every word is being directly enforced by either Ned or Cat, that power dynamic still exists. And again, both times that Arya disobeys Septa Mordane she faces consequences. I'm not sure how Arya playing on the way to KL is an example since literally nobody but Sansa remarks on such as an issue, but it's obvious this person is just in the camp of "Arya's behavior is unacceptable". That's why they want her to be constantly corrected by everybody and think it's a failure on Ned's part that he *checks notes* allows his daughter to have fun while they're on a very long and tedious journey. I'm sure this person was also upset when Ned comforted Arya after her emotional outburst. As for Septa Mordane's abilities as a teacher, I think the fact that we never actually witness her teaching anything says it all.

#ask #anon #arya stark #septa mordane #ned stark #asoiaf #Septa Mordane was an incompetent teacher who let her own bias cloud her from doing her job properly #she was fr beefing with a fucking 9 year old and throwing her authority around to try and brow-beat Arya into place #/what did you expect her to do/ uhhmmmm her job?? maybe actually try and teach instead of just berating a child? #you don't have to be a certified teacher to know that's a horrible method that's not going to produce results #people are too busy justifying characters actions without looking at /why/ they're written that way though

[serasennatonen]

I just want to say that even THOUGH I grew to dislike Jin, I UNDERSTAND him. When he was upset with Phee at the beginning of the show and we couldn't figure out why and stayed baffled til episode 9.

Phee turned that boy every which way but LOOSE and his anger was justified.

You just gonna dick him down like it's yall last day on earth then ditch him and try to act like nothing happened.

EXCUSE ME SIR! WHO THE HELL ELSE ARE YOU OUT HERE FUCKING LIKE THAT AND WHY ISN'T IT ME????

#pheejin #dff #dff the series #ta nannakun #copper #tacopper #he had every right to be mad #who else are you doing this to? #WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME? #be on cloud #phee x jin

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

#asks #Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole) #I know exactly how these people function because I was there once... #When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do #Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care #All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did) #I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing? #I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else #People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified #It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic #I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally #I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol #Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized #'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man' #It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly. #There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now #Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently #Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context #So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care

[merrymorningofmay]

saw a XXk notes post about how hard it is for people in peaceful countries to keep up with their daily life while there's genocide happening elsewhere and got unsurprisingly salty because wow, poor you, now imagine how it is to do dishes/go to school/work while there's genocide happening in YOUR country to YOUR relatives, friends, coworkers etc as opposed to Some Guys on The Internet

then thought "no, i'm being uncharitable, op probably didn't expect their post to go beyond their bubble which likely doesn't include any palestinians, armenians, ukrainians etc, otherwise they wouldn't have made this tone deaf post"

then realised that it would actually be really sad if that's the case because if you care about another group's suffering why wouldn't it result in your including people from said group in your media/info bubble, why wouldn't you make their voices present in your life and ensure your perspective reflects that

#i mean i can guess why. i'm just pretending i'm asking gentle well-meaning questions and not old-man-yells-at-cloud-ing #i also feel funny whenever they do the 'biden evil!' 'he made the temp ceasefire happen' 'well that doesn't count!' bit #like. did the gazans tell you it didn't help them or is it just not good enough *for you* who has no real stake in this #i won't pretend i know though. it might well be the former! but that's not what people talk about when they make that argument #mari rambles

[makerscockandballs]

HELLO MAYBE DO NOT GLORIFY THE GDR JUST BECAUSE THE USA SUCK

#i dont like interacting with posts that do shit like that bc i dont like fighting #but hey remember you can like some parts of what it did politically #without denying the FACT that it was a horrific government that practically imprisoned and tortured its subjects regularly #i'll assume ignorance and will ask you #go to one GDR ex-jail and then tell me this is something worth defending. #i know people personally who lived through it. heard their good and bad about it. #know people who smuggled others across the border to the BRD #saw the prisons laid out for torture and to break a person #dont you dare say shit about how the usa has that too #it does not matter. comparisons are nothing when a state does these things. #fucking hell read a history book. #basil yells at cloud #ok to rb #just. why are you so hellbent on making it black and white when it is not

[nefelibata-cloud]

a thought came to my head the other day and it hasn’t left…

so basically, diluc has been stuck in his office working since before the break of dawn. you decide to poke your head in at around lunch and give him a little shoulder and back massage. you had done this before, and even though he never said anything but a simple “thank you,” you could tell it sorta rejuvenated him. so you tried to do it everyday. your man is working non stop and constantly on the grind, he deserves a nice massage!

later that night, you visit him at Angel Share, and when you walk in he calls you over to the bar. taking a seat, he takes a hold of your hands and starts massaging them as he asks about your day, listening attentively. it’s subtle, and so very sweet.

diluc cherishes you, and loves your hands for how attentive they are to his sore and tight muscles. you try and give him a massage every chance you get. he loves your massages, but he knows with the amount of kinks and tight muscles in his neck alone that your hands must get tired quickly. so he always tries to repay you and show you how grateful he is by taking care of your hands, and massaging the area between your thumb and pointer as well as he can.

#IDK IF I MADE ANY SENSE BUT PLEASE SOMEBODY DRAW OR ANIMATE THIS #LIKE I WONT BREATHE UNTIL SOMEBODY DOES #if any of you find this weird… #LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN #GIVING MASSAGES IS LIKE ONE OF MY WEIRD LOVE LANGUAGES #I JUST WANNA GIVE MY HUSBAND A MASSAGE #HE DESERVES IT #i mean he gets up early to do his winery work and whatever else #and then at night he’s SAVING MONDSTADT #omg and him paying back with giving a little hand massage!! #why did my brain bless me with this when it won’t ever actually happen to me in TT #anyways thanks for listening to my ted talk <3 #cloud-talks #genshin impact #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #fluff

[pangolen]

i understand why official translation subs for anime tend to localize more of the dialogue to be more accessible to a broader audience. but i still miss the unofficial subs that kept all the honorifics and translator's notes and sentences that weren't quite naturalistic to english but that you still understood.

#old man sighs wistfully at cloud #idk i KNOW it's weeby of me #and yeah ok it was a little bit because it felt like being in a Special Club #but also it was like... you got to osmose a little bit more about the culture and maybe understand a little better about why characters #were acting the way they were #without having to stop everything to go google ''why did bradley give ed a melon'' #pangorambles #anyway the real reason i brought this up is that in tg cf and md zs they change the 'ge's to the character's given name #which is fine and a totally sensible thing to do #but my weebass brain is like :( why are they putting a different word :( i can hear the different word :( they're lying to us :( #which is silly #and i acknowledge that #however......... #:(

[iniziare]

Muse Aesthetic / Feelings

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒.  being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laughter lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.

𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit (excessive training). withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑.  wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot (!!!) making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.

𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.  constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.” shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired.passing out.

Tagged by: @militus an age and a half ago 🤍 Thank you, I had fun! Tagging: /cracks knuckles. @sicsemper (Gee, I wonder who), @rcdfcxr (initially I wanted to request just Rufus, but I'm really interested in Reno as well, so both!), @inventorem (@aworldofyou because I don't know if you'll see this otherwise), @svnsworn (Jessie), @blitzrod, @tscng, @sentmail (I'm on the 'Lemme learn about Kunsel' train, shh), @lionfated (I've been missing Leon, pretty please), @annjiru (I also am on the Angael train still), @cwarscars (I need you to envision me as a koala very dramatically clinging to your leg), @spynorth (if you tell me you've done it already Lucas, it doesn't matter, do it again and again!), @trickstercaptain, @freedomhasfangs, @lighthouseborn (I can never have enough Henry Turner in my life, ever), @weaponiised, but also— @liifestreams (please give me Reeve, the novel is killing me slowly and he killed me a little). And anyone else? Steal it, I'm sure I've forgotten people and it's nothing personal whatsoever!

#[ tifa lockhart. ] she had buried the twinges of guilt beneath the narcissism of self-sacrifice. beneath the belief of 'the greater good'. #[ tifa lockhart / et cetera. ] but i work for shinra. i'm the enemy. / i don't care. i don't want anyone to die. please! #[ tifa lockhart / meta. ] people have many things pent up inside of themselves. so many things they can never forget. strange isn't it? #[ it has been years and i still never can decide what to 'file' this stuff under. probably just a me problem. ] #[ it's not quite meta because i didn't write it-- it's also not 'relevance' because-- well. not using it for this. ] #[ any way-- this was /very/ fun actually. and i sat here in contemplation for a few of them. ] #[ this actually puts into perspective; again; why i love the nuance of animation that remake gives tifa. ] #[ the voice and animation definitely added to just about anyone; i always want to point out how much of tifa is in the subtleties. ] #[ the clenched fists-- the self-hugging. the doubt that lingers within regardless of anger. and how it's shown even in little gestures. ] #[ like when she suggests going out on the town with cloud and he questions her for half a moment-- she folds back in on herself. ] #[ same thing with the train for example-- literally rooted in place. and it's not taking away from the bravery she holds on many levels. ] #[ it's the nuance of bravery-- that it isn't black or white. you can have doubt and i think the remake did a chef's kiss job with that. ] #[ because we're so immensely layers as human beings-- so it's incredible to me to see a game reflect on that so heavily. ] #[ that game is incredibly human. it's an incredibly good depiction of human nature and reactions. ] #[ and god-- the VAs add to that magnificently. truly. ] #[ i literally cannot praise britt enough. she was so nervous and she aced it. they all did. ] #[ god; all i can think about (especially) is the 'what-ifs'-- literally. doubt. /doubt/. and that is what makes her so good. so real. ] #[ i'm gonna ramble a little more; excuse me-- can we talk about how realistic that is? no one who's brave won't doubt their actions. ] #[ tifa has lost everything to shinra-- sephiroth is shinra 'gone wrong'. she lost everything at his hands and no one could stop him. ] #[ not even shinra itself and that's very important. there's so much anger there that drives her to do selfish things. ] #[ and i note selfish because on the way to a smile has touched on this magnificently as i'd hoped it would. ] #[ she wants them to pay-- she wants her revenge. but she; arguably more than anyone; is aware of what that costs. ] #[ if avalanche goes through with this-- and she helps-- AND SHE DOES. she is responsible for people losing... ] #[ what she once lost. ] #[ and that is /so important/ to her character. before that happens; she is riddled with doubt. before she boards the train-- ] #[ when she's boarded the train and needs to jump off. that moment is /the/ moment where she makes a huge decision. ] #[ because look at how she is once she's jumped off. that entire chapter. she's relatively certain. she's going through with it. ] #[ no way back. ] #[ and then the plate falls not long after. /and then the plate is dropped/. yep. ] #[ ... i'm about to hit tag limit; don't worry-- i'll type about this soon. it's in my onenote! ]

[lizhly-writes]

utterly non-canon thing in my villain fiancee cnovel. in which i give our mc his original older sister back.

Yang Haoran had really thought he’d forgotten what Andrew Li’s family had looked like.  He had tried so hard to keep their faces in his memory, but they’d grown blurry, anyway.  Had his mother had short hair?  Long?  What was the shape of his father’s eyes?  The shape of his nose?  His chin?  

In the end, he couldn’t remember.

But the girl coughing smoke in front of him…

He hadn’t needed to even think for even a second to know who she was.

“Haha, this is not what I was trying to do,” the hallucination that is his older sister says in English, rubbing her temples.  “Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea, what even happened…”

“Li Yizhen?” Yang Haoran says blankly.

She jolts upright, flashing an awkward smile when she catches sight of him.  “Um!  Hi.  Yeees, that’s me!  You’ve, uh–” she switches to vaguely American-accented, vaguely Taiwainese-accented Mandarin “– you’ve heard of me?  Like, exclusively by my Chinese name?  That’s kind of funny, since I… have no idea who you are. Sorry.  Have we met before somewhere?  Like, ACA stuff, maybe?”

She smooths a lock of hair behind her ear, does it so not a strand is out of place.  She’d always been so careful about her appearance.  Hair always perfectly straight, clothes always wrinkle-free, as if she printed herself out on paper instead of getting ready in the morning.  That was just the kind of person she was – clinical perfection in her dress, as if to make up for the general imperfection of everything else about her, as if the perfect knife-edge of her eyeliner could hide the shadows under her eyes she never bothered to cover up.

Always the insomniac, his sister.

“You need more sleep,” he says.

Claire Li lets out an agitated groan. “Everybody tells me that!” she cries, throwing her hands up in the air.  “Why does everyone keep telling me that!  Do they think I don’t know?  I want to sleep, too!  It just doesn’t happen!” 

He really thought he had forgotten.  It had been so long.  But this – like this, all the memories are coming back to him.  

“Uh.  Hey, are you crying?” Claire Li says worriedly.  “I mean, that’s a dumb question, clearly you – I mean.  You know what, I’ll just shut up now.” 

…Well.  He supposes he really is crying.

“Um.  I mean.  Do you… do you need tissues or something, I’ve got a pack in my pockets if you want it?  Ah, here it is!”  

She holds out the pack of tissues like a lifeline.  Yang Haoran stares blankly at it.

“Uh, just… just hold out your hand.  Just take the tissues.  Here, I’ll just –” she inches forward gingerly, pokes tissues against his hand.    

It’s real.  

She’s real.

"Shit, are you crying harder.  Hahahaaaa aaaah no, help.”

#my writing #original fiction #i'm a boy who transmigrated into a gl novel what am i supposed to do now?! #transmigrated as the female lead's villain fiance #eyes open wide #yang haoran #claire li #okay but imagine this. you're 18 and suddenly you've magically appeared in a cloud of smoke in front of a guy in his mid twenties #guy recognizes you -- not by the english name you tell everyone but by the mandarin one that mostly only your family uses #so you're like. shit. is this a family member i forgot. is this some guy that my mom was talking to #and then SUDDENLY he starts crying on you #so it's like. shit. SHIT. what did you do. why is he crying. #why are you now capable of making grown men cry??? #is it this easy to make grown men cry??? #shit. how do you fix this. #you got no clue #well actually you're pretty sure the answer is therapy but you're not qualified for that #everything

[regicidal-defenestration]

They killed the Glow Cloud,

#'how did they kill a cloud' why dont you listen to wtnv ep 221 and get really sad when they do in fact kill a cloud #welcome to night vale

[autism-corner]

im actually very glad it rained a bit tonight =w=b

#friends bday party was 40min. bike ride away through a sometimes-entirely-not-lit path through some fields. #also i went back just after midnight. the 40 min. ride through entire darkness. #alright the lighting wasnt that bad in most places but there certainly was a bit without any streetlights <3 #it was all good tho i totally survived =w=bb i even had fun. #the few times i do 'heavy' stuff like this i find to actually really enjoy it somewhy. #ig i like it but doing stuff like this spontaneously is hard. #sillyposting #anyway back to why im glad it rained: clouds. #i am not totally over my fear of a starry night. something about the openness and emptyness and stars etcetc is just triggering to me. #i am better now but thats mostly because im not yearly going to campsites where theres way less lightpollution aka bright skies. #anyway i think i would be fine with clear skies but it certainly wouldnt be pleasant.... #lemme tell you the bit of actual sky i did see sure looked nice but was already a little triggering. #its such a shame because its sosososo pretty but :/ #thats what irrational fear does to a guy ig :( #also this same fear makes it hard for me to just look at pictures of space. idk why. #argh. #talk about the irony of liking belphie huh.

[starlitwishes]

((Writes up my two cents. Thinks about it. Deletes it.))

((Anyway, while it doesn't pertain to my current muses (and I'll try to keep track of canon divergencies on my dash) please remind me if I forget that your character is Canon Divergent now.))

#ooc #I totally understand where people are coming from #but.... slight opinion about vague spoilers alert #I am worried that the trailer clouded people's perspectives on the character's actions #My experience with the AQ was severely tainted because of the trailer since I knew the consequence that was coming #the characters? They did Not #It took me an hour after the quest to fully realize that as a reader/player I had more information than the characters ever could #so yeah #just mildly worried people might take what happened the wrong way I guess? #dnsjfnjkfnjdksf #idk how to word things right #ala why I'm not gonna go fully into it but yeah #you do you guys!!!

[blackkewpie]

not to expound upon the political implications of fandom every chance i get but noel gruber is revolutionary gay representation because he wants to be fucked up and evil and it is so disheartening to see transformative works where they act like his wants and personality are character flaws. roadblocks in the way of the most conventional and milquetoast gay romance story ever put to word document. which isn’t terrible but the fact of the matter is noel gruber exists to say not every gay person wants to be normal or wants to have a normal easy heteroimitative life. marlene dietrich was a bisexual woman who endured mountains of hardship on every level and did important things and made important art. jean genet was a writer and activist who lived on the fringes of society doing survival sex work for most of his youth. liberace was never *out* out and was torn apart relentlessly by tabloids about his life. these are the people he canonically admires, he wants to be a starving artist and live a fantastic, queer, risky life that offends and challenges the mainstream. not because he is too naive to want a normal quiet life, but because he was raised in the bosom of the most banal, sterile, conservative small town existence he could have possibly been in and knows for a fact he wants the complete opposite. queer assimilation to the heteronormative standards of life has been a powerful tool in our survival, yes, but the point of that is to survive to make a world where that isn’t necessary anymore. the ease straight white cis abled society offers is one that exists at the expense of those who do not fit it. that is why the girl is fucked up. in a perfect world she shouldn’t have to be any other way.

#idk I just started reading a massively hyped transformative work in the fandom and jfc #it doesn’t hurt anybody and I know why it’s there #but dear lord #the amount of times they go out of their way to either implicitly or explicitly #punish or contort the aspects of Noel that make him fucked up #it’s just interesting #esp because they also make him trans which is why I’m reserving judgement #obviously they’ve done some of the work bc they’re not being weird about his gender expression #but OOOF you’re so close come on come on you can do it #also my other favorite character is constance and I can talk about black joy and radical acceptance with her for hours #but understanding what is oppressive about small conservative hegemony is crucial to understanding noel #and tbh thats his flaw to overcome by the end of the show imo #going from take me up and away above this small town cliche #to befriending mischa and sharing Constance’s joy during sugar cloud #realizing he did challenge people and was tragic and counter culture in his own way #in his own silly little small town #that’s the mountain he scales #to stop reducing his own accomplishments #but that has nothing to do with changing the fact that he doesn’t want to be like everyone else #and would have taken his queer rebellion further if he could have #ride the cyclone