#'why pregnancy' there were only so many books in the house in English okay

[phoenixyfriend]

it's fairly obvious in certain methods and opinions that can be witnessed on your blog that you were a horse girl

send me asks. make me tremble with fuckor

[wiggly hand gesture] kinda, I was a little obsessive about the one specific book on horses that we had, but the same could be said about the book on cats and the the several books on human pregnancy. I cycled.

#phoenix answers memes #'why pregnancy' there were only so many books in the house in English okay

[julemmaes]

Oksy so don’t feel like you have to do this but nesta and the kids go out grocery shopping and they bump into THOMAS FUCKING MANDARY and Nesta gets super overwhelmed but she’s got the kids and shit so she pretends she’s fine

But later cass comes home and the kids tell him what happens.

(and maybe they have a talk on important stuff about being with someone who loves you and if someone hurts you they don’t love you and it’s beautiful Idk)

Loving And Caring

Nessian modern au set in the The Seven Of Us universe (masterlist)

acotar next gen fan fiction

A/N: This is the reason I’m gonna fail my English exam, so please enjoy:)

The children’s ages: Ezra is 11, Cal is 6, Nora is 3 and Celia is 2. Andra is kinda not born yet.

DON’T COME FOR ME FOR BEING SLOW AS FUCK OR FOR WRITING SUCH ANGSTY PROMPTS. I HAVE 70+ IN MY ASKS BOX AND THEY’RE ALL SO ANSGTY

Word count: 8,185

"I want it!"

"I don't-"

"No, I want this!"

"I said I wanted it first."

"You did not!"

"Mom!"

Nesta Archeron had been called many things in her life. Daughter first. Then sister and friend, woman. She had been appreciated by all the professors she had had the honor of meeting during her studies, who had called her the best in her classes. She had finally found someone who had sincerely called her love and then wife, and she would not give up that last acquired, very important title of mom for anything in the world, but-

Right then she just wanted to strap her kids to the cart and run.

Walking down the cereal aisle, she ran a hand over her swollen, ready-to-burst belly, realizing that she would have to trip and fall on her bump if she wanted to end the problem for good. The baby girl, for whom they still hadn't chosen a name, would be born in a few weeks, and if she didn't get rid of her, too, she would never find peace.

She giggled - or at least she thought she did - at those morbid, disturbing thoughts for which many people would surely have her locked up in a mental hospital, if they found out how often she admitted to wanting to abandon her children.

It had been such a tiring day. She had been home from work for a couple of months now, this fifth pregnancy was breaking her down physically and mentally. She was at the end, in her eighth month, but she would much rather have the last baby out and inside the cart with her sisters by now.

Celia and Nora were babbling something in their imperfect language, and Nesta's heart clenched for her little men at the thought that they would be outnumbered in a few weeks. She and Cassian had experienced that feeling only three years before, and yet she still hadn't forgotten the terror she had felt at the idea of her children turning against them.

They had created a small army.

Casting a quick glance at Ezra who was sneaking something into the cart, she huffed. If the others noticed that he had put a package of junk food in the basket, that would be the end of it.

Moments later, in fact, Cal was looking at the colored bag in the still empty cart with suspicious eyes, and Nesta wasn't going to wait for the fight over who could buy the most junk food that day to begin.

"Ezra, put the snacks back," she said rubbing her hands over her eyes.

Celia mumbled something as she sat inside the cart, and Nora, silently settled next to her, nodded, as if she understood what the other was talking about. It shouldn't have shocked her, but Nesta never ceased to be amazed by that way of communicating that only the two of them understood.

Ezra's icy eyes turned sad when he looked at her and he pouted, "But mom I need them for snacks for school."

Cal looked at him with a furrowed brow, "No you don't. I need them." then he turned to Nesta, "But I don't like these, can I have those?" he asked with a bright smile pointing across the aisle with a wave of his arm.

She leaned forward, sighing and not answering him. Nora looked up at her and reached out her hands toward her mom, letting her know she wanted to be held, but Nesta was aching.

Cal and Ezra hadn't stopped bickering for half a second, and Celia had cried all day because she wanted her dada. Nora had stayed in Nesta's arms the entire walk to the grocery store, and one way or another she knew she would have to carry her all the way back home as well, despite the unbearable back pain. It was less than two kilometers, but with a pregnancy running out and only one hand to restrain any possible child who threatened to throw themselves under the cars whizzing by, it became more mental work than physical.

When Nesta smiled lovingly at her, trying to make her understand that she couldn't hold her right then, Cal burst into tears.

Her daughters' little heads snapped up at their brother, and Nesta cursed herself for deciding to do something as stupid as taking her four young children to the grocery store on an evening when they were all visibly on edge and stressed.

"Dear, what happened?" she asked without even an ounce of concern in her voice. She knew full well that it was just a tantrum. She got confirmation of that when Ezra replied in a whiny tone that they couldn't both buy snacks, or they wouldn't know how to carry them home. At that point Cal's cry became a proper scream and Nesta had to close her eyes to avoid the judgmental stares of the people passing by.

She brought her hands to her temples, massaging her forehead in circular motions, and when she thought she could handle it without throwing up on each of her children, she leaned against the cart, circling around Ezra and crouching with no small amount of difficulty in front of Cal. One hand on her back and the other still clinging to the cart, she grunted as she put one knee on the ground. She felt Nora's little hand rest on hers as she began to speak, "Listen kiddo, we're all very tired and now your brother is going to put his snacks down too," she explained, giving Ezra an inquisitive look over her shoulder. The eldest son rolled his eyes, but he had Celia hand him the package and snortingly put it back. Cal sobbed, sniffling, and Nesta laid a hand on his shoulder, massaging his arm. "How about we read a book together tonight before bed?"

The boy's face scrunched up in a grimace of sadness, "But I want snacks." he sobbed louder. Nesta bit her lip, knowing full well that the fat tears on his cheeks weren't really for the snacks and that she couldn't give in and let them all buy something or she'd end up with two bags full of junk food to carry.

Cal hadn't slept that afternoon, as had everyone else, because of Celia's endless crying, and she hadn't wanted to take her afternoon nap until it was too late and Nora and Cal had gotten out of bed to go play in their rooms. At that point Nesta had been forced to let Celia go, but she knew that had meant agreeing to spend an evening with frustrated and not-rested children.

She was about to respond when a couple of older ladies walked by them, casting an annoyed look at Cal. Nesta would have liked to respond with an ugly hand gesture, but she couldn't do it in front of her children.

In that moment of distraction she hadn't realized that Celia had also started calling her and now, casting a quick glance at her daughter, she felt a very bad feeling sink into her stomach at the sight of the little girl's tear-filled eyes.

She looked at Ezra, taking a deep breath, and noticed that even the oldest of her children seemed bothered by the course of action Nesta had taken. She felt tremendous guilt at seeing that the only one of her children who didn't seem disappointed or angry with her was Nora.

It all got worse when one of the two ladies who had just passed her said loud enough so she could hear her, "I don't understand why some people don't stop with their first child. It's obvious she can't even handle one, listen to her screaming."

Nesta felt the emotion grow in her throat.

"When someone isn't born to be a parent, it shows immediately. She's one of those awful mothers who doesn't know how to take care of her children." the other added.

Nesta caught her breath, fixing her gaze in Cal's. Celia was crying by now, spluttering to be picked up as she tried to keep her balance inside the cart.

She wasn't going to answer. She wasn't going to answer.

"Let's go home." she whispered suddenly, laying a hand on the small of her back and pulling herself up with a tremendous effort, a twinge of pain went through her legs and back, "Cal, dear, we'll buy the snacks another time, for now we'll just take the bread and milk, tomorrow come back with daddy and take whatever you want, okay?" she spoke quickly, in a high, steady voice so that all four of them could hear her. She just hoped they didn't hear how desperately she was trying not to burst into tears over what the ladies had just said.

Cal nodded, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt and immediately stopping crying. Ezra looked thoughtful, but he too had stopped pouting. The only one who still looked upset was Celia, who followed her by walking inside the cart, moving where she stood.

Seeing the little girl's red face and dripping nose, arms outstretched toward her, Nesta heard only the words "awful mother" repeated in her mind.

With a knot in her throat and a cry that she was sure would break free as soon as she stepped into the house, Nesta pushed forward, bumping the cart with her belly as she picked up Celia and placed her on her side. The little girl immediately stopped crying, resting her head on her mother's shoulder and cupping her tiny hand over her shirt.

Now, beyond the emotional wound that had just been inflicted on her, Nesta could feel the pain in her back growing with every step she took. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop a sob that threatened to break that composed attitude she had.

Everything hurt so bad.

Cal was running in front of them all, stomping his feet on the ground and making the little lights on his shoes glow. Ezra was walking beside her, one hand on the edge of the cart as he mouthed off to Nora, but he had to stop when Nesta froze in the middle of the aisle, taking an abrupt breath. She brought a hand to her belly, feeling the baby move and kick, only adding to the pain.

"Ezra, love," she breathed, stepping aside and holding Celia against her side, then asked between her teeth as the baby continued her assault inside her, "could you push the cart?"

He nodded, his face lighting up as if she had asked him to take control of a ship.

Celia began to squirm on her side and Nesta had the urge to drop her, not voluntarily, but it all hurt so much that her body was begging her to sit up, to take all that unnecessary weight off her arms.

At the idea that she would have to walk home she felt her eyes grow heavy with tears.

She put Celia back in the cart, breathing a sigh of relief as some of the pain eased in her lower back. Nora was now standing and smiling at Ezra, who was struggling to see where he was going past his sister.

Nesta looked up just as Cal hopped out of the aisle and fell to the ground, crashing into someone's cart. Or rather, as someone ran over him with their cart and slamming him to the ground.

She didn't even think about it as she started walking as fast as her body would allow towards her son, leaving the other three behind. By the time she reached him, Cal was standing there laughing in amusement and was running his hands over his pants to get the dust off his palms. Once she made sure he wasn't hurt, she was ready to yell at whoever had dropped her son, ready to take out all her frustration and doubts on the stranger, when she heard a voice that sent chills down her spine.

"Nesta Archeron?"

She moved her head so fast she was surprised she hadn't snapped her neck, but her brain didn't have time to process the pain the jolt had caused her, because there standing before her was Tomas Mandray.

She couldn't believe it.

Any thought of yelling at the stranger vanished like an echo in her mind.

How was it possible that he was there?

"Is it really you?" he asked her with wide eyes and an incredulous smile on his face. He circled the cart, shifting his gaze to Cal, and Nesta felt the overwhelming instinct to grab her son and hide him behind her. When Tomas reached out a hand toward him, ruffling his hair, she felt vomit rise in her throat. They had to get out of that place immediately. "I can't believe it." he voiced her thoughts, "Is this yours?" he asked looking into her eyes again.

This... he was talking about Cal.

She couldn't find the words and continued to stare at the man in front of her with wide eyes - scared eyes, if you knew Nesta, if you knew where to look. And Tomas knew it. Tomas had always known it.

She heard Ezra reach them, and then something slammed into her side. She didn't need to lower her head to catch a glimpse of Nora's little pigtails of black hair or hear Celia's amused giggle.

Tomas snorted a laugh out of his nose, crossing his arms over his chest, "Are they all yours?" then moved his gaze to her belly to bring it back up to her breasts and Nesta wanted to say something to him, to insult him, to hit him, to take him away from her children, but she felt her heart pounding in her throat and the air couldn't reach her lungs.

That tone-

That tone wasn't of someone who was happy to hear that you'd made a new life for yourself after they'd managed to destroy you completely. It wasn't the tone of an old friend who you hadn't seen in years and who you're about to agree to hang out with and tell them about everything that happened in your lives.

No, it was the tone he had used every day, every hour, when he needed to belittle her, when he needed to make her feel insignificant, worthless.

"Mom?"

Nesta turned her head so slowly toward her son, blinking, that she must have seemed like another person entirely. No longer the proud, strong woman she'd shown everyone for years on that side. Ezra had one eyebrow arched, as if wondering what was going on, and was clasping hands with a jumping Celia.

She didn't have the energy to turn around, to look at the man who had pushed her to the bottom of the barrel and destroyed her, but she managed to throw out a weak, "Kids we have to go, we're not taking anything." then turning to Cal, she took his arm, pulling him towards his siblings, "Let's go."

She felt Tomas' eyes creeping over her like slimy hands. She could still remember the last time he'd touched her, when she'd gone over the edge, offering herself to him to avoid yet another fight or worse.

For that, when his true hand tightened around her wrist, pulling her slightly to let her stay there, she flinched.

"Nesta."

She spun around, bringing her free hand to her belly for protection. When the little girl inside her kicked again, making her groan through her teeth in pain, Tomas smiled in a way that made Nesta hope she was anywhere but there.

"Is she kicking?"

And then it all happened quickly. She couldn't move, couldn't pull away, as the grip on her wrist tightened and Tomas pulled her closer to him and placed his other hand on her stomach, next to hers. A soundless sob escaped her control and her breath labored as she felt his fingers move over her shirt.

She was going to throw up.

She gave a tug so hard that the twinge of pain started at her wrist and reached her elbow, but she was free. She smacked the hand on her, taking several steps back and bringing Cal with her. She had started pushing the front of the cart, trying to position it in the direction they had come from.

She met Ezra's gaze for a moment, before her son's eyes slipped behind her, on Tomas' figure.

"Ezra." she called to him in a firm voice. Four pairs of eyes snapped in his direction. That was the tone of a tired mother issuing orders to her children at the end of the day, "Eyes on me."

She didn't want anything of Tomas's to come into contact with her children. She didn't want him to contaminate them the way he had contaminated her.

She lifted Cal off the ground and the child quietly let her pick him up without too much of a fuss. She didn't feel the strain at all as she pulled him high enough to put him in the cart with the girls. Looking at her oldest, she hoped she could secure him like she was doing with the other three, but he was too big to fit in the cart himself.

Before she could tell him to follow her without saying a word, Tomas spoke again.

"What a beautiful name, Ezra," she felt the venom bind each letter.

Ezra was about to turn around, probably to thank him, as she and Cassian had taught him, but Nesta squeezed his shoulder, "Keep looking ahead and walking, I don't want you talking to him."

"Always so fucking obnoxious," Tomas spat at that point.

Nesta froze in her tracks. She could feel him following them as he tortured her. Ezra froze beside her, tugging at her sleeve to get her attention.

Always so obnoxious. You're useless, worthless. I'm the only person who will ever be able to put up with your bullshit. You'll never find anyone else.

She felt the panic rise, the agitation for one of her children to realize how uncomfortable she was at that moment. She closed and opened her hands on the cart's handlebars, hoping to relieve some of that tension.

"I'm amazed to see you with so many children," he continued, creeping up beside her and stopping in front of her cart, blocking her way with his. She looked up at him, feeling the air scratch at her throat. He had aged, she could see it in the features around his eyes, his mouth - he had aged and yet still had the same look. "I didn't think you'd ever date again after I left you."

I left you. She wanted to tell him. I had the courage to leave.

She didn't answer him, straightening her back.

Tomas smirked, lowering his gaze to her daughters and his smile widened even more.

"Don't look at them," she snapped, still maintaining her composure.

The man looked up at her one more time, "They'll be just as pretty as their mother when they grow up." then looked at Cal and Ezra, sliding a finger over the edge of his cart. "Who's the father?"

"Dada." muttered Celia, flapping her little hands.

Nesta wanted to recoil at the sound. She didn't want Tomas to hear her talk, didn't want him to watch them. She didn't want them breathing his same air.

"It's none of your business and now move over," she whispered to him. All she could think about was the fact that she had to get her children out of there as soon as possible. Therefore, when he didn't move an inch, she added. "Please."

Tomas laughed. He laughed, leaning his head back and clutching his hand around the mesh of her cart. "Nessie Nessie," he clicked his tongue on his palate, a remnant of laughter in the tone of his voice that made the woman's gut tangle, "I haven't seen you in so long. I want to know everything."

"Please." she repeated, as her eyes filled with tears. His own widened slightly, surprised to see such a reaction in her. She didn't care if he saw her weak, she didn't care if she had to get down on her knees. He was keeping them trapped, and Nesta knew he wouldn't let them leave until he squeezed even the last drop of sanity out of her.

If Ezra still realized what was going on, she didn't know, and it scared her even more. Cal was looking at her and looked worried, probably having never seen her so shaken in her life.

She was about to beg him a third time. Beg him to free her from whatever that game was that they were stuck in at that moment, but someone said her name. Ezra looked behind them and Nesta saw the shadow of a smile on his face, prompting her to turn around in turn. A choked sound escaped her throat as she bit her upper lip to keep from bursting into tears, and a wave of gratitude washed over her.

"Miss Archeron," the man smiled at her. Drakon Cretea had been Nesta and Cassian's neighbor for years now. He and his wife Myriam had babysat their children so many times that they were their go-to people. In fact, Celia and Nora had snapped to their feet at the sound of the voice of the acquired grandfather they loved so much.

Nesta didn't waste a moment turning the cart so that it faced Drakon. The children, Ezra included, began to cheer happily at having met a familiar face, and Nesta allowed herself to look over her shoulder.

With such relief that she thought she might collapse to the ground, she saw that Tomas was already pulling away, and as he turned the corner, pulling into another aisle, she took a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes.

She had made it.

***

Cassian was exhausted.

He had spent the entire day grading exams for first-year students with his aide, and it was as if he could see the letters behind his eyelids every time he blinked. It was much more feasible to work in the university library, where he didn't risk being interrupted by a child every five minutes, but he only tried to do it once or twice a month during exam sessions, knowing full well how exhausting it was for Nesta to keep up with all the children together until late in the evening, especially now that Andra was about to arrive.

"Andra." he murmured into the silence of his car. Nesta kept telling him that they weren't sure that would be the name of their fifth child, but Cassian didn't care. He just needed to name his wife's belly when talking to his daughter.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he turned off the car in the driveway and stepped out, stretching his arms up just enough to make his back crack.

Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he huffed. It was too late for his girls to still be awake, but maybe he'd be able to say goodnight to Cal and Ezra.

He had warned Nesta that he was going to be late, and she had simply replied that she would leave dinner ready in the kitchen for when he returned.

Opening the front door, he immediately saw two little dark heads popping up from above the couch. Cal was already running at him when he closed the door behind him and jumped on him as soon as he had put his stuff down, "Dad!"

"Kiddo!" said Cassian throwing him into the air.

Cal laughed waving his arms, "Sssh," he scolded him still laughing, "the girls are sleeping."

"Oops," dad made a guilty face, stopping their game and putting Cal down.

Ezra was too focused on watching TV and wasn't paying the slightest attention to Cassian, but he walked over to the couch anyway, lowering himself just enough so he could leave a kiss on his hair, "Hi love." he murmured to him.

The little boy's head snapped toward him and with a crooked smile on his face and his pajama collar in his mouth, he said, "Hi dad."

Cassian scoffed amused, ripping his pajamas from between his teeth, "How many times have I told you not to eat your clothes?"

"Sorry," Ezra said, not sounding sorry at all.

Cal had gone back to lying next to his brother and they both seemed too caught up in the cartoon to pay any attention to it, so he went into the kitchen, loosening the tie around his neck and praying that Nesta had cooked something good - though the opposite was quite unlikely considering the woman's innate cooking skills.

He moaned with delight when he realized it was the meatballs she always made when she didn't feel like cooking and, taking the plate, he headed back to the living room. He plopped down in between his sons, taking the pajamas out of Ezra's mouth again and offering them both a meatball.

"So, what have you guys been up to today?" asked Cassian with a full mouth, slipping off his shoes and placing his feet on the coffee table.

First Cal and then Ezra told him in full detail about what they had done at school and then about the fact that none of them had slept that afternoon. Cassian was surprised to find out that Cal could still stand up without getting any rest.

When they got to the point where Nesta had taken them out walking and they had made it all the way to the supermarket, he had stopped them.

"Guys come on," he looked at them with incredulous eyes, "I told you to keep her home."

It was true. Lately Nesta had been pushing her limits when the doctors had told her to exert herself and stress as little as possible. With childbirth imminent too, it was risky for her to walk around without any other adults.

Ezra had the decency to look guilty, "I know, but-"

"We also met a weird dude," Cal interrupted him.

Cassian looked at him taking on a confused expression, "Weird?"

"Yeah, he knew mom," Ezra nodded, looking at the TV and talking thoughtlessly. He was bowing his head slowly and Cassian unconsciously extended a hand towards him, shutting his mouth before he could start chewing on the fabric once again. He looked at him at that point, continuing the story, "Mom was all weird, though."

"Weird." repeated Cassian.

"Yeah, weird." repeated Cal in turn, then chuckled, "He even hit me with the cart."

He and Ezra laughed together, remembering how Cal had fallen on his bum, but Cassian's thoughts were elsewhere. Clearly the fact that someone had rolled his son with a cart must not have been traumatic or painful, or Nesta would have called him and Cal wouldn't have been there laughing, but the fact that they had described her with an adjective like "weird" had him on high alert.

"Do you happen to know the man's name?" asked Cassian, pulling himself up and setting his plate down on the coffee table, keeping his gaze on his hands.

Ezra shook his head, "No, also because mom didn't talk to him much and then Drakon showed up."

"Oh, yeah," Cal repeated excitedly, his eyes glowing, "then Drakon showed up."

Cassian was on his feet before his youngest son had finished speaking. He started up the stairs to go upstairs, where he hoped he would find Nesta awake, but warned the two little men that he would go change and be back down to them in a jiffy.

With a strained expression and a bad feeling working its way through him, he walked down the hall, opening the door to his daughters' room slightly. Both Celia and Nora were already fast asleep, and Cassian felt a smile break out on his lips... his little gems. He couldn't believe yet another one would be arriving soon.

He closed the door, making sure not to make any noise, and then headed to his room, praying that Nesta was okay and that his children had misunderstood everything.

He heard her before he even entered. He could picture her pacing back and forth through their room, muttering about what was bothering her at the moment.

He took a deep breath, ready to fight whatever demons there would be to fight that night together, and tightening his hand around the doorknob, he lowered it, pushing himself into the room.

Nesta stopped short, both hands wrapped under her belly to help support that extra weight she was always complaining about.

The second Cassian's eyes found hers, her expression completely transformed and a desperate sob broke the silence that had formed between them.

"Nesta." he said as if someone had just sucked the air from his lungs. Reaching for her with two quick strides and wrapping her in his arms, Cassian heard all kinds of emotion in his wife's crying.

When he stroked her back, Nesta let go a wail of pain and he immediately pulled away, still keeping his hands around her elbows as much as her cold hands tightened around his forearms.

"God, Nesta what happened?"

She only cried harder, loosening her grip on him when she was sure he wouldn't pull away. She managed to say between sobs, "Everything hurts."

Cassian felt as if the floor has cracked open beneath them. "Is it the baby?"

Nesta's eyes went wide, probably only realizing at that moment what state he'd found her in, "No, she's fine." then, seeing his increasingly worried expression, she added, "I promise the baby's fine."

Cassian sagged at little, reducing his lips to a thin line, gently pushed her towards the bed to get her to sit up, but Nesta shook her head, taking short, overly fast breaths, "I can't."

Cassian paused, taking her hands and trying to restrain himself from asking her who they had met that afternoon that had managed to trigger such a reaction in her. There was no way she could have been in that state just from being tired.

"I can't." repeated Nesta sobbing and looking into his eyes. "Everything hurts, Cassian."

He sighed, closing his eyes. Seeing her in this state was nothing new unfortunately. With four pregnancies behind them and everything they'd been through in the years prior to their marriage, it wasn't unusual for either of them to be in such a condition.

He opened his eyes, trying to keep a firm tone, "How come you can't sit down?"

"If I sit the pain gets worse." she said between choked breaths.

Cassian furrowed his brow, wanting to yell at her about how stupid it had been of her to go walking that afternoon, but he restrained himself. "Have you tried lying down?" he proposed.

Nesta shook her head again, "Any position hurts my back or my legs," she explained.

"Tell you what," he began hesitantly, taking both of her hands, "why don't you put on those super pants that support your belly - or I'll help you put them on, it's no problem," he added quickly when he saw the pain in her features, "and then I'll give you a leg massage while you're standing?" he said smiling at her coyly. Nesta sniffed, nodding slowly. "And when sitting doesn't hurt anymore or is bearable you get on your knees on the bed or lean against the keyboard and I massage your back too, are you up for that?"

She squeezed his hands to let him know she was okay with everything, so Cassian smiled at her, returning the squeeze and starting to pull away from her to go get the leggings, but Nesta's eyes went wide and a few tears rolled down her cheeks, "Where are you going?"

Cassian grimaced worriedly.

Why hadn't she called him if she was feeling this bad?

He moved back as close as he could without crushing Andra between them, "I was just going to get my pajamas, Nes, and your pants." he placed a hand on her face, stroking away the remnants of her crying. Then he sighed, pushing her forehead into his and keeping his eyes open as he whispered, "I love you."

She repeated it quietly, almost a sigh.

He undressed quickly, slipping into his pajamas with equal haste as Nesta stood motionless in the center of the room, waiting for him to return to her.

"Listen," Cassian began, kneeling in front of her as he helped her out of the pajama pants she was wearing, "the boys told me you met someone today." he forced himself to look at her, when the grip on his shoulder suddenly tightened. Cassian studied the reaction he'd elicited from her and bit the inside of his cheek, seeing how Nesta had frozen and put her foot down. He took a deep breath, giving her knee a little tap to let her know she needed to get it back up, "They didn't tell me who it was and I don't think they know, but I got some ideas and I want-" he swallowed loudly, thinking seriously about what might have happened if his doubts were real, "If it's Tomas, I want to know if you're okay." he said in a lower voice, looking at her from under his lashes. Nesta didn't answer.

He had managed to get both of her feet into her pants and was pulling them up gently, trying not to hurt her. He had to pull up the skirt of the robe she used during all her pregnancies when none of her pajamas fit anymore, uncovering her belly and left a gentle kiss on her skin, smiling at his daughter, "Hello my little sunshine."

He felt Nesta shiver and thinking it was from the cold he hurried to cover her belly with her pants and then pull her nightgown down.

He looked at her more seriously than ever as he settled on the floor in front of her so he could massage her into a comfortable position. He was about to speak, to ask her again how she was doing, but she beat him to it.

"What did you do today?" she asked in a weak voice.

Cassian closed his mouth, bouncing his legs, pondering whether to insist that she spoke or let her distract him with that question. He decided for the latter, even though his wife already knew very well what he had done that day, "This morning there was an exam of Ancient History for the first years." he began to speak while pressing his thumbs on her left thigh. Nesta was leaning her hands on his shoulders. "I have to be honest, I've never seen exams as crappy and ignorant as this session's," he continued while keeping his gaze fixed on her face. "It's like people stopped studying all of a sudden and thought they could pass my exams by learning the bare minimum."

He shifted on her other thigh and Nesta snapped forward, groaning softly as Cassian touched a particularly numb muscle.

"Sorry." he smiled at her, "Then at lunch I stayed in the faculty with Gwyn and Luc, and by the way, they asked me if you'd be okay with organizing a lunch this weekend, with everyone?"

Nesta rolled her eyes, "I can't even walk, let alone plan a lunch with everyone," she pointed out to him in an irritated tone.

Cassian chuckled, "I'll let Gwyn know you told her to fuck off nicely."

"Yes, thank you," she replied to him. But then she bit her lip, thoughtfully, "But if they want to do something at her or Elain's that's fine. I can also cook, but not here, please, I don't feel like tidying up afterwards." she looked into his eyes with a pleading look.

"It's okay, it's not a problem," he shifted to her calves, "Although, if the only problem has to be the fact that you don't feel like tidying up, you know I wouldn't let you."

Nesta grunted, "I don't want you to do all the work yourself."

Cassian let out a puff of air through his nostrils, "You can't be the only one working hard in this house Nes, let me have some of the glory too." he joked.

"But I'm not the only one." she said in an overly serious tone, "You're always at work and I know you're working overtime, filling in for your colleagues, don't think I haven't noticed," she scolded him. Cassian lowered his head, feeling his cheeks turn red. "And I'm here at home and I can't work and I've been like this for months now and even before that with Celia-" she sighed, bringing a hand to her face, "I just wish I could help you bring something extra home."

Cassian stopped massaging her leg, surprised at what he was hearing. He moved away from her, enough so that he could stand up without bumping into her stomach and then looked at her, shaking his head, "What on earth are you talking about?" he asked, "Nesta you're raising our children. You're doing a much more tiring and exhausting job than mine ever will be." he pulled himself upright, "True, it's just as rewarding and enjoyable to be able to stay home and watch our children grow up, but you're the biggest help I could ever get right now. We don't need money right now."

"But-"

"No buts." he said arching his eyebrows and pushing her towards the bed, "Do you think you can sit?" she nodded pensively and let him help her up onto the mattress. "Nesta what you're doing is admirable and I'm sure not everyone could handle it as well as you can."

Nesta stopped in the middle of the bed, turning to look at him with a shocked expression.

Cassian was just as shocked. That she didn't realize how much she was actually helping him was beyond comprehension.

"I can only get by because you're there," she murmured, looking away, "I'd never make it on my own."

"And no one expects you to make it, Nes." he said stunned. He really couldn't understand where all the doubt was coming from, "You don't have to make it on your own and you're not doing it on your own."

He had her settled so that her back was to him and she was turned to the wall. He placed his hands over her back and began to make concise circles on the bottom, applying pressure where he knew the pain was most concentrated. Nesta's head fell forward in relief.

"You really don't think you're helping me in any way?"

"No, I-" she froze mid-sentence, "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" he asked, using his knuckles to massage her shoulder muscles.

Nesta groaned softly, "It's just that I wish I could go back to work and read all the books I want and I wish I could feel tired and be able to let my kids cry without anyone telling me what to do and how to do it. I wish I could move without the terror of going into labor at any moment and-" she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I wish I wasn't so hormonal right now."

He could tell that her thoughts were all over the place.

There had been other such crises during Celia's pregnancy. The fear that they wouldn't measure up as parents to so many children. They were in constant thought that they were not giving them enough, that they were teaching them the wrong lessons. Cassian had received some nasty comments himself about how they were raising their children, and he knew right away that someone must have said something to Nesta that day.

They had always had stronger, more heartfelt reactions on her, and now that she was pregnant it was all much more altered.

"What happened today?" he asked her under his breath after a few moments of silence.

"No one slept, I didn't have a moment's peace and then we left and walked to the mall. I had to carry Nora all the way there and-" her voice broke on the last sentence and Cassian stopped his ministrations on her. He laid both hands on her back, getting as close as he could, letting his hands slide down her hips and then over her belly, until his chest made contact with her back and Nesta pushed back against him.

She dropped her head onto Cassian's shoulder.

"And?" he murmured, spurring her on.

"Everything hurt so much, Cass," she replied in a watery voice, "It was like I was being stabbed in the back and I couldn't put Nora down because she'd start crying."

A sharp twinge of pain shot through his chest. He began to gently massage her belly and shortly after he felt her small hands settle on his, pushing harder, "No one would try to say you're a bad mother just because you don't pick up your daughter when you're hurting."

She didn't answer.

"Celia?" he asked.

"Ezra and Cal held her hand the whole way, she walked so much," she said with a half smile on her face. "When we walked in they immediately started acting up and then they started crying and I couldn't take it anymore and these ladies said I was an awful mother and it's true, Cassian." she jerked in his arms as she said those last words. He only held her tighter, taking a deep breath. "Who is the mother who can't calm her own children when they cry? Her own children." she shook her head, running a hand under her eyes.

He couldn't see her face, but he knew she had started crying again.

"Nesta listen to me." he whispered to her, kissing her shoulder and then the tip of her ear. "You are the most loving and caring mother I know. Your children are perfectly healthy and you've never let them lack for anything. You've never raised your voice to them. You've never threatened them or grounded them-"

"I'm not a monster," she muttered.

"And more importantly," he said smiling and holding her tighter, "your children are happy."

"But Cal today-"

"Cal is downstairs watching TV with his brother and he's been telling me about his day and he's the happiest kid ever," he interrupted her, "Just because he threw a tantrum and cried a little doesn't mean you're not a good mother."

She sighed and nodded, though she didn't look convinced.

Cassian continued to stroke the spots on her belly where he knew her skin pulled the most, her hand still on his playing with the wedding ring on his finger when Nesta said, "I saw Tomas today."

Cassian froze behind her, holding his breath. He'd known it, but hearing the fear in her voice now as she said the name of the man Cassian hated most in the world didn't stop him from wincing.

"He bumped Cal with the cart and knocked him over and I didn't realize it was him until he called me," Nesta continued.

When Cassian spoke, his voice came out much harsher and tighter than he intended, "Did he-" he cleared his throat, "Did he say anything?"

"No, he-" Nesta brought both hands to her stomach, shifting his. She moved uncomfortably in his arms and Cassian loosened his grip on his wife, realizing she wanted to move. He grabbed her by the hips, trying to pull her up so she could turn toward him, and when she was finally sitting up with her back against the headboard of the bed, she sighed. "I saw him, Cass, and I froze." she said under her breath, looking into his eyes. "He touched Cal's hair and it was like he was touching me, again, and I completely froze and then the baby kicked and he touched my-" she took a ragged breath as her eyes filled with tears. When she spoke again, her voice was so weak that Cassian had to appeal to every ounce of his reasoning not to get up and go find Tomas to kill him.

He took her hands, remaining silent as a revolting feeling took over his body. The idea of Nesta being touched by that filthy man made his guts turn. The idea of his children-

A choked sob brought him back into the room, "And I wanted him to go and stop looking at Ezra and Celia and Nora and I could only move when Ezra called me, but he followed us and blocked our way. He asked me about you, wanted to know who you were, and it was like going back in time and I couldn't- I couldn't, Cass-" Nesta brought a hand to her chest, her eyes and mouth wide as panic appeared in her gaze and air struggled to reach her lungs.

Cassian squeezed her hands, speaking softly, "Nesta, it's okay." a sob from her, "You're all home." he murmured starting to massage her palm, "You're home with me."

Her breathing became even more erratic and she shook her head, closing her eyes.

Cassian closed his eyes as well, "I'm sorry you had to see him again and I'm sorry you couldn't move, but it's understandable, sweetheart." he was trying to keep his tone of voice relatively low, to calm her down, but it was proving difficult for him as he viewed Tomas watching his daughters. "He shouldn't have touched your belly. He shouldn't have just touched you at all. And he shouldn't have gotten close to Cal or Andra." he seethed. "And if I could I would go to him and rip his hands off." he let slip as he imagined the terror Nesta must have felt at that moment.

Nesta sobbed and the sound broke Cassian's heart, "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry."

A pang of pain tightened in his chest as his face turned into a mask of controlled anger, "Don't ever apologize to me, please," he whispered, "Not for this stuff."

"But I couldn't do anything, even after all this time-" a hiccup broke the sentence, "He still has all this power over me. It's not fair."

It's not fair.

Cassian nodded, biting the inside of his cheek, "You're right, it's not fair." he squeezed her hands lightly, telling her to look at his face. She quickly did so. "You're not with him anymore. You're free. You don't owe him anything, just like you never owed him anything." Nesta took a shaky breath, stopping sobbing. "You have a family, you're a wonderful mother and wife. And you deserve all of this."

Nesta's eyes went wide, realizing where this was going.

Cassian took a deep breath, "You're not worthless, you're not hopeless or useless." he closed his eyes as Nesta mimicked him, breathing deeply in turn. "You are a strong, independent woman, it doesn't matter how much he said otherwise. It didn't matter before and it doesn't matter now. It's just meaningless words.

"I know you, Nesta, and you are the light of my life. The light of every person in this house. The only thing that keeps us going." he whispered in a weak voice, as Nesta leaned forward toward him and cried silently.

Cassian moved closer to her on the mattress so that she could rest her forehead against his chest, his shoulder, wherever she wanted, for support.

He had repeated those words to her so many times over the years. He didn't think he'd ever have to do it again, certainly not after so long that they both knew Tomas had moved to another continent entirely.

"I know you and you're nothing like he describes," he encircled her shoulders with arms when Nesta let go of a particularly loud sob. "You are the exact opposite of what he says." he kissed one temple, stroking the hair on her back.

She shivered in his arms, "I know." she whispered against his shirt.

Cassian managed to force a smile onto his lips, even though she couldn't see it, he knew she would hear it when he spoke, "I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because I can only imagine how hard it was for you to see him again, and although I would have appreciated a different approach to everything that happened this afternoon, you handled it perfectly and our kids are fine." he passed his hands over her shoulders and pushed her away from him so he could look at her face. "And it's okay that you broke down now, it's normal. I'm glad you told me about it. Thank you." he spoke against her lips.

She smiled, breathing a laugh through her tears, "I love you."

"I love you." repeated Cassian, sighing. He cupped her cheek, brushing a thumb under her eye, before kissing her. No rush or force, just pure, raw emotion as their lips caressed in a desperate kiss.

acotar taglist (if you wanna be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)

@sjm-things @kris10maas @awesomelena555 @sannelovesreading @queenamydien29 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @messyhairday-me @ncssian @observationanxioustheorist @my-fan-side @booksstorm @maastrash @sayosdreams @thedarkdemigod @courtofjurdan @thewayshedreamed @ladywitchling @nahthanks @archeron-queen @sleeping-and-books @bri-loves-sunflowers @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @queenestarcheron @oop-theregoesgravity @perseusannabeth @simping4bookboisngrls @anne-reads @fantastypenguins @laylaameer01 @thalia-2-rose @darkshadowqueensrule

#nessian #TSOU nessian fic #TSOU #the seven of us #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian baby #nessian child #nessian children #nessian angst #nessian fic #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #a court of silver flames

[amanda-glassen]

The Love of Her Life

Some Serena and baby Liv fluff for day 1 of @dailysvu Olivia Benson Week: The moment you fell in love with Olivia Benson. Prequel to The Wonder Years.

February 2009

From the moment she found out she was pregnant, Serena began reading pregnancy websites and parenting magazines, but the most sound parenting advice came from her own mother who told her that no book, magazine, or website could ever fully prepare her for what it’d be like when she actually held her baby for the first time. After Olivia had been dried off, she was placed tummy-down on Serena’s chest so the skin-to-skin contact could help Serena bond with Olivia during her first moments on this earth. She was wearing a little pink knit hat, but underneath it Serena could see Olivia’s soft dark hair. She’s a brunette like me. Feeling her baby against her skin as she held her for the first time was even more overwhelming than she thought it would be and Serena couldn’t help crying.

“You did good, baby,” her mom said as she kissed Serena’s temple. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Serena responded. “Mom, how is it possible to love someone so much? I thought I couldn’t love her more than I already did when she was in my womb, but that love doesn’t even compare to what I feel for her right now.”

The Bensons had a beach house in Malibu along Pacific Coast Highway and the sound of the waves at night had always been therapeutic for Serena. When her thoughts and the memories got to be too much for her after she had been raped, she’d sit outside on her balcony and listen to the waves while writing in her pregnancy journal. She filled page after page about what she was feeling and what her hopes were for Olivia. On more than one occasion, she wrote about how－if she closed her eyes really tight and just listened to her surroundings－she could be twelve-years-old again and riding boogie boards with her brother and sister or even six-years-old and making sandcastles with them. Some of her best memories were at the beach, but the one she knew she’d never be able to top was that first night she brought Olivia home.

Serena stood on the balcony in her Columbia University hoodie and a pair of pajama pants. Although February in Malibu was nowhere near as cold as February in New York, she made sure to dress Olivia in her warmest pajamas and wrap her in a blanket. 

“Sorry this isn’t skin-to-skin contact, but Mommy can’t be topless on the balcony,” she said as she held Olivia to her chest. “How about to make up for it, I let you drool all you want on my Columbia hoodie? We’ll be going back there in August. Columbia is Mommy’s school and she has to finish up her senior year.” Why am I talking about myself in the third person? I can’t believe I’ve become one of those moms already. “Everyone thinks it's going to be hard for me to be a full time student at an Ivy League school and be a mom living on my own, but I think we'll be okay. Your grandma is going to stay there from time to time and we have a great support system. It’s a lot colder in New York but it’s beautiful in autumn when the leaves change colors. In a couple of years, I’m going to take you trick-or-treating. I can’t wait. There’s a lot of things I can’t wait to do with you, but at the same time I want you to stay this small and cuddly.”

“The semester before I got pregnant with you, I was in a Shakespearean seminar and I got your name from Twelfth Night. My professor was really strict though. He started teaching in the early ‘80s and won’t even let us bring our laptops to class. We’re only allowed handwritten notes. After a three hour class, my right hand was so numb and I thought it was going to fall off. I want to be an English lit professor someday, but I promise I won’t be like him. I’ll actually acknowledge that it’s the 21st century. I’m sorry for rambling. I know it’s important to talk, read, and sing to your baby and trust me when I say you don’t want me singing so you’re stuck with me talking and reading to you. I have so many stories to tell you. There’s this cookie place that your aunt Lexie and uncle Kyle and I love. When you can start eating solids, you and I will share a cookie there. They’re open until 3 a.m. Can you believe it? I bet 3 a.m. is nothing for you, though. You’re a little party animal. You like to sleep all day and stay up all night, have a drink at midnight and 2 a.m.”

“Can you hear the waves?” Serena asked her daughter. “The sound is relaxing, isn’t it? My doctor told me that the most soothing sound for a baby when he or she is in the womb is their mother’s heartbeat. Now that you’re not in the womb anymore, you’re going to hear all types of sounds, some more soothing than others. I hope the ocean is one of them. Can you believe all the way across this big body of water, there’s other countries and people just like us? Maybe there’s a mommy and a baby listening to the waves on the baby’s first day at home just like we are.”

Although Olivia couldn’t understand a word she was saying, she felt as if she still had to get this next bit of information off of her chest. “I’m new to this, Olivia. Just nine months ago, I was a sorority girl who went to parties every Friday and Saturday night and then something really bad happened to me and my life took a turn I didn’t expect it to. Being a mom wasn’t what I had planned, but here you are and I never imagined loving someone so much. I’m probably going to get things wrong four out of five times, but I’m still learning and I promise you I’ll get better. I’m going to love you every single moment of every single day, Olivia, and nothing you do will ever make me stop loving you.”

Serena heard the sound of her sliding glass door opening. “Sweetheart, come inside,” her mom told her. “It’s getting cold out there for my grandbaby. Don’t you think you should put her in her crib now?”

“I was hoping I could sleep with her,” Serena responded as she gently rocked Olivia. “I’m not ready to let go.”

“My big baby,” Mrs. Benson shook her head. “I love how excited you are to spend time with Olivia, but it’s not safe for a newborn to sleep in a bed. She needs to be in her crib. Trust me, you won’t go long without holding her. Newborns don’t sleep through the night. She’ll wake up in around two hours and want you to feed her. Do you remember everything the lactation consultant told you? Or do you need me to help you? If you need me, just call, okay?”

It was supposed to be one of the most natural things a mother can do, but Serena still worried about Olivia not drinking enough of her milk, or too much, or not latching on properly. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll call you if I need help with anything.”

“You’re not ready to let go of her, are you?”

“I’ll never be ready to let go of her.”

“Come in,” Mrs. Benson insisted. “I promised I’d never tell another mom how to raise her child, but you’re my baby and she’s my grandbaby, so I’ll let you hold her longer but only if you come inside.”

There were three generations of Benson women on Serena’s bed, Serena and her mom sitting up, leaning against the headboard, and baby Olivia resting her head on her mommy’s chest. “Mom, what do you think she’ll be like when she gets older?”

Mrs. Benson put her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Let’s see. She’s being raised by you so she’ll be stubborn for sure, but she’ll also be kind, intelligent, and brave just like you.”

Ten minutes of holding Olivia turned into half an hour and eventually an hour until Mrs. Benson broke down and decided to make a baby nest so Serena could safely cuddle her daughter in bed. Serena didn't get more than a couple of hours of sleep that night, partly because Olivia kept waking her up, but mostly because she just wanted to admire her. There were so many mixed emotions for Serena. Her baby may have been conceived in an act of violence, but Olivia was so innocent. “You have nothing to do with him,” she said as she placed delicate kisses on her baby’s forehead. “I know I have a long road ahead of me and my healing can’t be dependent on you. It wouldn’t be fair to you, but just know that you’ve already helped me in so many ways and I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

#benson week #alex and liv: the wonder years #olivia benson #law and order svu #serena benson

[sliceofsky]

introducing : cary o’hare

〔 scott foley, 49, cis male, he/him ) cary o'hare was seen listening to “ just haven’t met you yet ” by michael buble. cary is the town’s weatherman and known to be bubbly & insecure

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚜

full name ~ cary michael o’hare birthday ~ OCTOBER / 15TH / 1971 job status ~ employed as a weatherman at the local news station relationship status ~ (currently) single orientation ~ gay (closeted)

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚒𝚘

tws for : strained family relationships , homophobia , discussion of sex

cary o’hare was the first born child of the upper-middle class o’hare family, named after his mother’s favorite movie star. it was one of the rare concessions at the o’hare patriarch gave to his mother, and he’d never let her forget about it.

from a young age, cary was the picture of raw charisma. grocery store trips took forever, with his mother being halted at every aisle by enchanted older women who wanted to catch a glimpse of the adorable baby cary. his cuteness almost made up for how busy his mom was at all hours of the day, especially when his younger sister became cary’s irish twin, born a little over 9 months after cary was.

his younger sister becomes the bane of his existence as soon as they’re both conscious enough to get on each other’s nerves. they’re close enough in age that the competition is always there, fueled by the teachers, friends, and extracurriculars that they share. they found their niches soon enough: cary was good at sports, while his sister was good at dancing (which elementary-age cary would vehemently insist was the exact OPPOSITE of a sport). their father would go to cary’s games, but not his sister’s recitals, a fact that he accepted without much thought. 

cary’s world, until middle school, was very small. the only people on his mind were him, his family, and his ever-shifting cast of close friends. there wasn’t much room in that world for insecurity or introspection, not when his biggest issue was the occasional fight he and his sister would get into over who’s turn it was on the remote. this all changed when cary was introduced to a fact about himself that made the world so much scarier: people were talking shit about him behind his back. it was the little things, of course- a comment about how stacy from english told someone who told someone who told someone that she thought he was short, or hearing a rumor about himself filter through the grapevine. it was startling, and cary reacted in kind, putting much more thought into his everything. he began to think about the way he dressed, and the way he smiled, and the way that when he answered questions in class, people would remember whether he got them wrong or right. 

suddenly, nothing was more important than his image. he wanted to smell nice, but not too nice, or else his dad would make some mean spirited quip about his son being fruity. he also needed to date girls, but not too many girls, or else they’d think he was a jerk. it was a careful, obsessive balance that he kept, one that dictated everything about the way he acted. 

against all odds, his mission was successful. he was generally well-liked. he had middling grades, and he wasn’t especially happy, but things were working. even the fact that his parents still picked his closest friends based on whether or not mr. o’hare liked their parents couldn’t break his stride. only one thing could truly break his stride, and that was the events of sleepaway camp, the summer before his sophomore year of high school.

sleepaway camp was fun. too fun. he was fast friends with jonah, who lived in a town four hours away from cary’s. over their three week stay at camp timber lake, cary and jonah ended up doing everything together. they shared secrets, snuck out of the cabin late at night to explore the woods, and on one memorable instance, went skinny dipping in the lake. near the end of their time at camp, things changed, suddenly and without warning- cary would blame the full moon. if you interrogated him, he’d insist that the only reason he kissed jonah was because the moon was full, it was the last night of camp, and they were alone in the woods in the dead of the night. he’d also insist that he didn’t mean anything by it, and that it didn’t mean he was gay. the truth, however? temporary insanity didn’t push cary to kiss jonah, and it wasn’t the reason that jonah pushed cary away with a horrified look on his face. much to cary’s relief, neither of them ever spoke about it. it became a secret just as soon as it became a memory, one that cary would agonize over for years after the fact.

cary walked into his sophomore year of high school with this secret heavy on his chest, paired with a desperate need to distract himself from it. he loaded his plate with all kinds of new activities, but the first one (aside from his regular slate of sports) to catch his fascination was learning to drive. he liked driving. he liked being the friend who knew how to do it, and he liked having jovial conversations with his dad about different types of vintage cars. he was the first of his friends to learn how to drive, and he used it to his social advantage. 

3 girlfriends, 2 state championships, and 1 prom king crown later, cary was a senior in high school, choosing between two football scholarships while desperately trying not to think about the gay thing. he would ask his parents for advice, if not for the fact that his dad would kick him out for even considering “the homosexual lifestyle” while his mom would tell him to “not think about it and move on”. he picks his college based on a coin flip, and keeps his mouth shut.

college is a new beast for cary, who’s suddenly thrust into a whole new world. the only time he’d lived somewhere other than the o’hare house (lovingly referred to as the o’house) was at sleepaway camp, but uni? that was a sleepaway camp where there were no rules. his major was undecided, and his time was mostly spent juggling gen eds, the football team, and the rowdy parties that he was invited to. 

the thing that made him decide his major, funnily enough, was a pregnancy scare. he’d hooked up with a cheerleader, more because she was a cheerleader while he was a football player than for any other reason, and three weeks later, she called him in tears, talking about a late period. on the drive to the doctor’s office to check, they got to talking about how they landed in this position. she admitted that she slept with him because he “reminded her of a weatherman”, and his career path was set. once his former hookup was given the clean bill of “not pregnant”, cary felt free to go along his way, rocking every public speaking class and doing pretty-okay on his meteorology courses, his road in life officially planned.

cary didn’t realize that he was capital g Gay until he actually had sex with a man. the process itself was undignified, beginning with eye contact across a dance floor and ending in a stranger’s bed. he was in a strange city, telling all of his friends that he was sick in the hotel while they were out at a bachelor party. he was paranoid at the gay bar, until he let himself get swept up in the music, and consequently, the spirit of lighthearted experimentation. even if when it happened, he’d already graduated from college, it still counted, right? either way, the end product was the same: him, in a stranger’s bed, trying to catch his breath. the guy’s name was paul, and the sex was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. it was electricity, and nerves, and magnetism, and cary was left without a doubt over the fact that he was exactly what he feared.

the years after that encounter moved in a predictable pattern, a cycle that he couldn’t break. first, he’d find some success in his career. then, he’d find a nice girl and try to make it work. then, the relationship would crash and burn. finally, he’d break again, and allow himself a weekend of gay debauchery. sometimes the cycle would take a few weeks to complete, and other times it would take a few years. this cycle filled up years, and then it filled up two decades, until he was 42 years old and truly exhausted. 

his parents wanted him to get married. more than anything, they wanted him to get married. it was one of the few things his mom and his dad agreed on, and in a way, they bonded over it. the whispers about why the local weatherman was a perennial bachelor certainly didn’t help his nerves, neither did the scores of posts from his high school and college friends announcing marriages and pregnancies. 

the big break from his cycle came in the form of hazel robson, a fellow member of a book club that he joined (he wasn’t super into reading, but the flow of a book club was deeply calming to him). their relationship blossomed over the book club pick of “love in the time of cholera”, following an especially insightful note from hazel. he asked her out to coffee, wanting to learn more about her opinion. their initial coffee date was legendary, their conversation lasting through two cups of coffee and an extended walk in the park. cary loved seeing the world through hazel’s eyes- she talked about literature with such a vivid intelligence that it was practically contagious. cary left that first date invigorated, like he was scores more intelligent just from having been in her vicinity. 

cary couldn’t put into words exactly why it worked so well with hazel, even though he didn’t like her that way. he knew, logically, that he was gay, and that he’d never wake up and love hazel the way she deserved to be loved. emotionally, however? he still kind of hoped that that day would come. their relationship continued to progress, without the dramatic endings that he’d gotten used to. what they had wasn’t going down in flames like his attempts at romance before- it was working. when he proposed, it was at the coffee shop where they had their first date, and he refused to let his guilt show on his face. 

things were exactly how his parents wanted it: he was married to a lovely woman, his career was booming, and the for-fun football team that he was a part of kept him in shape. it should’ve been perfect, but cary couldn’t help but feel restless. incomplete. not even his pre-game catchphrase (”my name is cary o’hare, and we are gonna win this thing fair and square!”) could keep that itch of the unfulfilled at bay. it only got worse when he met the living embodiment of everything he couldn’t have: liam lexington.

his father joked that a wandering eye was a normal part of being a married man, but cary suspected that his dad didn’t mean it like this. liam was bold, attractive, and shameless- cary couldn’t quite tell if he wanted to be him or be with him. he decided on the former, after some meaningful eye contact/hand on knee action at an applebee’s post-game celebration. it escalated into a torrid affair, one that he pointedly refused to talk about with liam or anyone else. 

it all fell apart on his 46th birthday. hazel walked into their house, ready to deliver his birthday surprise, only to walk in on liam delivering his birthday surprise. first there was the yelling, then there was the crying, until finally there were divorce papers. right after they both signed, there was a long stretch of silence, standing across from each other. then, cary broke the silence. “you know, hazel, i know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but i think one day, you and i are going to laugh about this. i know it’ll be far off in the future, and you hate me right now, but… one day, maybe when we’re old, we’ll be sitting on a porch, and we’ll be laughing about what happened.”

the official party line for the cause of the divorce was the question of kids, leaving cary right back at the start. he was a childless divorcee, and no longer his dad’s favorite. he’s gotten back into the routine of being single and publicly straight, something helped by his now-ex wife moving away. now that she’s back in town, and cary is finding less and less reasons to stay in the closet? it’s about to be a wild year for cary o’hare. 

#sero.intro #CARY O'HARE º ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ɪᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ #info : intro

[bumblebeereus]

Two Weeks. Marco Reus.

Word count: 2.623 A/N: Baby daddy feels were all over the place when I wrote this, that’s the only warning about this piece. He deserves this after winning another trophy with BVB and lifting it as a captain.  English is not my first language so sorry if there’s any typo. Sorry for the spacing if you’re reading this from your phone. Feedback is always welcomed  Hope you like it. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Two weeks. That’s the time she’s been hiding the good news, waiting for the best moment to spill the beans, she knew his birthday was around the corner so she has kept the secret from him until this day. There’s nothing better than being one year older and knowing you’re gonna be a dad, right? She looks at him, still sleeping, and he looks way younger than twenty-seven. His dirty blond hair a mess and the stubble, too lazy to shave in the past days and he knows how much she loves it so he’s kinda in the stubble club now. Just when she’s about to reach out her hand to touch his hair he opens his eyes smiling sleepily at her and she melts a little, doesn’t matter how many times she has seen him like this, still makes her weak in the knees. “Are you watching me while I sleep? Creepy.” She shows him her middle finger making him laugh and he moves to be on top of her. “To be twenty-seven you’re pretty agile still, I’m surprised.” She jokes and he sighs burying her face on the crack of her neck kissing the bare skin that somehow still smells like him “Happy birthday sunshine, you’re still my favourite man on Earth even tho you’re getting older…well, maybe Xabi Alonso’s still winning the competition but.” He doesn’t let her finish kissing her on the lips smiling through the kiss. “Still the worst at birthday wishes, you knew that? Why am I still dating you?” “You couldn’t live without me sunshine, accept the hard truth, swallow it.” She winks at him earning a bite on her shoulder making her slightly jump hitting him on the back.  She knows him too well to know what he wanted as a birthday party, family and closest friends in their house enjoying a chill afternoon and night. His friends said he was quite the life of the party before she appeared in his life and he’s still the life of the party but now he’s into chilled parties apparently. She’s looking at him, holding a bottle of beer while chatting with Mario, Julian and Roman all of them resting on the back of the couch, he looks away from his friends to look at her smiling widely when he catches her looking at him and he winks at her before going back to focus on his friends. “He’s glowing tonight but I can say the same about you, girl.” She turns her head to look at her friend that hugs her from behind. “I’m not glowing at all, believe me, I’ve been feeling sick since I woke up this morning.” Her friend knows, indeed she was with her when she found out that she was pregnant because it’s her gynaecologist. “Do you want me to cover you up while you go to throw up inside?” She shakes her head looking at her, she’s now used to the feeling and as long as she doesn’t eat a thing while feeling like this, everything is under control “I’m fine, at least for now. But believe me, you’re covering my ass if I need to run to the toilet.” She jokes excusing herself for a second to go and get a glass of iced water with lemon. She discovered that really helped her to calm the waves of nausea.  She feels a hand on her back and she turns her head to look at her mother in law with a sweet smile plastered on her face. She remembers who she was close to freaking out when she met his parents and almost three years later she has second parents in them, especially with Manuela, she’s been on her side since day one. “I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one that said this to you today but you’re looking gorgeous today, sweetie.” She shakes her head with a smile, she’s being like this with her since the day she met her “Can I ask you something?” She froze for a second when she hears the question, usually nothing good happens after that question being popped.  “Of course, sure, absolutely.” She’s nervous and her mother in law knows, Manuela puts a hand on her forearm as a way of calming her a bit. “Don’t worry honey, it’s nothing serious. Marco has been talking to me lately about you two, he thinks he has made something because he feels you’re treating him different in the past few weeks. Maybe it’s something he said or something he has done…I don’t know what my son did this time but.” “Oh no…” Her eyes scan their garden and he’s already looking at their direction and she smiles at him warmly as he does the same “He’s been incredible lately, he did nothing bad I swear, it’s just me.” “He thinks you’re about to break up with him and he doesn’t know why. And I’ve been looking at you two the whole night and something’s off darling.” He can read her like an open book and keeping a secret from him it’s been far from easy, she doesn’t know how to lie and she’s even worse at lying when it comes to him, so hiding such an important thing from him has been exhausting, to say the least. The smells of the dish of currywurst that Manuela is holding fills her nostrils and she feels sick again, feeling the urge of throwing up intensifying. She has to cover her mouth not to do it in front of her. “Sweetheart, are you sure you’re okay? You’re pale and I thought for a second you were about to throw…”She looks up at her for a second and by the look on her face, she knows that her pregnancy is no longer a secret for her. She looks at the glass of water she’s holding and it’s like another sign for her “There’s nothing off between you two. You’re pregnant and he doesn’t know it yet.” There’s no way she can lie to her as well, so she simply nods with a beaming smile on her face as she feels how her mother in law holds her hand “I’m not gonna hug you in front of him because he’d suspect something’s going on but I can’t wait to do it properly.” She has glassy eyes and her thumb is caressing her hand “You’re telling him tonight? Since when you’re keeping this from him? Are you okay? Feeling good?” She laughs at her interrogation preparing her answers. “As soon as we’re alone, yes. I wanted this day to be about him, it’s his birthday…I’m seven weeks pregnant now and I knew two weeks ago. I have morning sickness and apparently, I can’t stand certain smells but so far so good.” “Can’t believe my baby boy is gonna be a father. You’re gonna be incredible parents.” “I hope so, but I have no doubts about him, he’s gonna be the greatest dad.” She says looking at him, he’s lost in a conversation with his friends, and she can’t help but feeling a little off now that she knows what’s going on in his mind. It’s close to midnight when they finally say goodbye to the last few friends that were still with them at their house. He closes the door resting against it looking at her with his arms open waiting for her. “Another birthday party, another success. You can always change your work to an event planner or something like that.” He jokes as she snuggles against his chest, his hands travelling along her back while kissing her temple. “No way. I only go through this because it’s you and your birthday.” And she’s being honest, it takes her one or two months to have everything as she wants it to be for his birthday's parties. “That’s love. I wanna talk to you about something, but if you’re tired we can go to bed now and talk tomorrow. It’s totally fine.” She feels terrible because she knows what he wants to talk about and she can’t make him feel like that any longer. “We can talk as soon as you open my birthday presents for you.” He frowns because she gave him a watch he’s been looking for months “You really thought that a freaking watch was my present?” “It’s the hell of a watch if you ask me, it’s a good birthday present but I’m not complaining if you have something else for me.” He raises his eyebrows and she slaps him in the chest with her index finger close to her face as a warning “What? It wouldn’t be the first time, remember?” “Don’t make it the last then.” She jokes back grabbing his hand leading him towards their bedroom. She’s nervous, not because of his reaction because they’ve talked about it several times in the last few months, but she can’t wait to share the news with him. She laughs as he keeps telling her how much he’s gonna enjoy his birthday present even tho he doesn’t know what is it. She tries to escape his embrace but he’s not in the mood for letting her go yet. “You know I love you, right? That you’re the only one, that I’d die for you and if sometimes I have ever hurt you wasn’t intentioned.” She’s looking at him right in the eyes and she knows he’s feeling every single word he’s saying and she’s feeling guilty for making him feel like he has to apologize for something he didn’t do, or making sure she knows how he feels about her when she has no doubts about his feeling for her. “I know and you don’t have to say it out loud Marco, you make it very clear every time I look at you, okay? I have no doubts about your feelings for me, sunshine. I know where this is coming from but I guarantee you, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m not leaving you, I love you even more now than I did before.” She strokes his cheek with her thumb, he has glassy eyes and she has to bit her lip not to cry. “I’ve been panicking about losing you for the last week, I swear I thought I did something wrong you were off lately, mostly with me. I know that I’m annoying but this time I was confused because I  didn’t know what I had done this time” She laughs softly at that last part, he was indeed annoying sometimes, but she even loved that side of him even when he gets on her nerves because of it. He wouldn’t be Marco without his annoying side. “You know I can’t keep a secret from you, right? I suck at lying.” He nods rolling his eyes, he has seen here lie and it was terrible. Cringeworthy “Hey you, don’t roll your eyes at me. It’s rude” “I’ve seen you lie, and that’s rude.” He laughs tapping her nose and smile when she scrunch her nose “So…you lied to me?” “Kind of, I just wanted to keep the secret about your birthday present. That’s why I’ve been acting strange lately.” She can tell he’s getting anxious about the whole birthday present thing, it’s like a five-year-old on Christmas morning. She plays with the collar of his white t-shirt looking at him “Want your present now or…?” “Please.”  She walks towards their shared walk-in closet looking for the bag she’s been hiding for a week now, she had several doubts about what was the best gift for him but she couldn’t pick just one. She goes back with him, with the bag on one hand and her phone on the other one. “Before I give this to you, you need to see a little video to understand your present, deal?” He nods looking at the bag that she’s holding and then looking at her eyes with his own eyes shining bright. “Deal” She unlocks her phone sending him the video of her last scan, she recorded most of it just for this moment. She knew he would have been there if he had known she was pregnant, so this was her way of making him part of it as well. Even tho he wasn’t there that day. She hits the button and when she hears the sound of her message on his phone she starts to shake, she’s been thinking about this moment for two weeks and finally, he’s gonna find out. He unlocks his phone clicking the video she attached to their conversation and she swears she can hear her own heart beating. The bedroom is dead silent apart from the video playing on his phone, the voice of her friend echoing in the room. She sees his face changing as the video keep playing, his eyes watering when he starts connecting the dots. “Here’s your birthday present Marco, it’s little now I know, but I’m telling you, it’s gonna be bigger when you hold it in eight months” He almost let his phone fall to the floor, he’s shaking and he doesn’t realize that he started to cry seconds ago. She can count the times she has seen him cry in front of her, all of them football-related: when he won the Pokal, when he got injured and couldn’t play for months, when Germany was eliminated from the World Cup, when he won the Bundesliga with his childhood team, him being the captain and now. When he has just found out that he’s gonna be a dad within eight months. He opens his mouth but words don’t escape his mouth for probably the first time since he met her, and she wipes his tears from his eyes stroking his cheeks with her thumbs as she starts to cry too, all the emotions she has been containing exploding all at once. He sighs looking at the ceiling and burst into laughter holding her tight against his chest, his lips kissing her forehead several times. He breaks their embrace to wipe away her tears before kissing her lips not able to stop doing it until they need to breathe, he smiles against her lips both of his hands on her cheeks. “I can’t believe I’m gonna be a father…god. I don’t know what to say, I’ve been dreaming with this moment almost since I met you.” He’s literally glowing. She thought that the happiest she has seen him be was when he won the Bundesliga, but that’s not even close to seeing him like this. “You have eight months to believe it, and another scan in three weeks and this time you can come with me if you want…”She’s glad he’s holding her right now because she’s still shaking. “I’m going to be there for every single one, believe me. Oh, and prepare yourself because I’m gonna be a pain in the ass looking after you. And reading every single book about becoming a dad.” He strokes her belly under her shirt, with a beaming smile on his face “I still can’t believe it. If all the secrets you’re gonna keep from me are like this one…please keep doing it.” “Hey, you haven’t opened your presents.” She says happily stroking the back of her neck scratching his hair. “I don’t need more presents, Schatz. I have the most important thing I have ever had in my life, and another one coming. I don’t need a thing.” She tiptoes to kiss him holding her index finger centimetres away from his face, walking towards her nightstand opening the first drawer, picking up the echography handling it to him. “I bet you’d want to have this one as well.”

#football one shot #football fanfiction #football imagine #marco reus #harry winks #trent alexander arnold #federico bernardeschi #roman bürki #dele alli #jadon sancho #eric dier #leon goretzka #marco asensio #paulo dybala #jesse lingard #marcus rashford #julian draxler #john stones #kylian mbappe #antoine griezmann #ben chilwell #james maddison #hector bellerin #kepa arrizabalaga #eden hazard #ruben loftus cheek #mason mount #leroy sane #virgil van dijk #julian brandt

[fictionalabyss]

A masterpiece.

Pairing : Teacher!SamxReader., a few OC’s, Dean. Word count : 1,348 Written for : @spnaubingo Square filled : Art teacher!Sam. Warnings : Fluff. Mention of sex, but none written. Spanking.

SPN AU & Trope Bingo Masterlist.

“Come on, Sam.” You pouted.

He laughed. “I have to go, I have a class to teach.” He slipped out of bed, and you groaned at his naked form. “Don’t start.” He turned to you. “We don’t all have the luxury of making our own hours.”

You whimpered at him from bed as he stood up and went for his dresser to get dressed. “Shower?”

He laughed again. “That’s what started this.” He pointed out. “If I shower again, I’ll be late. If I shower with you.” He turned with a smirk. “I won’t be going in until tomorrow.”

“So.. shower it is?” You grinned. He shook his head, and you pouted again. “Fineeeee.” You huffed, kicking your feet a bit.

“I thought you had an event to plan anyways?” He glanced over his shoulder. “Shouldn’t you actually do that?”

“I guess.” You mumbled, kicking the blankets off and getting up. “You’re no fun.”

He pulled on his shirt, finishing off his outfit for the day. “I’m a highschool art teacher. I’m as fun as it gets.” He teased, before leaning over to kiss you. “I’ll see you later. I love you.”

“You’re lucky I love you too.” You teased. When he pulled away, you pulled him back in for one more kiss. “Why do you have to teach?”

He gave you a soft smile. “Because those who can’t do, teach.”

“Sam-”

“I’ll cook dinner tonight.” He said over his shoulder as he headed out of the room.

You sighed as you heard him finish getting ready and leave. Shaking your head, you got up and started getting ready for the day. There was a lot to prepare. You looked at the large painting of you sleeping nude that Sam had painted and hung over the head of the bed. You didn’t understand why he couldn’t see how talented he was.

“Hey Mrs. W.” a group of students sauntered into class. Sam wasn’t back from lunch yet. You had gotten word to his senior classes to come in a few minutes early so you could talk to them without Sam. “Everything okay with Mr. W?”

You smiled. “I have a secret to share.” The student who had spoken’s eye went wide as he sat down at one of the chairs. Murmurs began to spread through the class. “Friday, you’re going to have a field trip.” You pulled flyers out of your purse and started handing them out. “Sam can not know anything about it. Understand? This is very important.”

“An art show?” One of the kids looked confused. “Why can’t we tell him about some art show?”

“Because it’s his art show. Only he doesn’t know that yet.” You smiled. “Sean is going to be bringing you guys, so you’ll be leaving Friday during English. These flyers are for your parents. Do not let him see them! All he’s going to know, is that he’s helping Sean escort you guys to a museum. Nothing more.”

They all nodded as you handed out the last of the flyers. “Bells gonna ring in a minute.” one of the kids pointed out.

“Alright, those of you who don’t have art, get to class. I’ll see you all on Friday.” You smiled.

As students started to file out, one ran back in. “He’s coming!”

“Shit.. He doesn't know I’m here..”

“In there!” One student pointed to the closet. “He never uses it. And we’ll get him distracted so you can sneak out later.”

You nodded and hurried in, shutting the door just as Sam walked into the room. “Wow, you’re all early… what’s going on?”

“Did you even leave the house?” Sam teased as he walked in. You were sitting at the kitchen table in lounge pants and a tank top.

You looked up from your laptop. “I was out all afternoon, thank you very much.” You stuck your tongue out at him. “I went to the venue to make sure everything was set. I checked in with the caterer, in person, and tried a few samples so we could finish up the menu. And I bought a few last minute things.”

“Okay, okay, so you left the house. But did you get dressed?”

“I don’t go out in my pajama bottoms, Sam. I’m not you.” You teased back.

“Those are the kinda see through ones, aren’t they.”

“Your favorite.” You winked.

He groaned. “I need to cook.”

“You need to fuck me.” You grinned. “Preferably on this table.”

“God, I love you.” He pulled you up and out of your chair, his lips on yours hard before he turned you and pushed you down so your chest was against the table. You bit your bottom lip as he pulled the lounge pants down, and spanked your ass.

“By the way.” You looked back at him, and he glanced up, cocking an eyebrow. “Sean called. I  signed you up to help him on a field trip on Friday.”

“Without talking to me first?” You nodded. “Bad girl.” He spanked your ass harder making you yelp.

“You like it when I’m bad.” You grinned, then yelped again when he spanked the other cheek.

“I thought we were going to a museum?” Sam glanced to Sean as the students went into the building before them.

“Kinda?” Sean winced a bit. “It’s to look at art.” He shrugged.

“Why are you planning an art trip? That’s my department.” Sam asked, holding the door for the other teacher.

“I didn’t.” Sean shook his head.

“I did.” Sam looked up, and there you stood in one of his favorite dresses. He looked confused. “It’s an art show, Sammy. Your art show.”

“What?”

You motioned for him to follow you, and when he stepped into the mostly open space that showcased his work, he was surprised by how many people he saw there. Even his brother had made the drive in. “Hey, Sammy.” Dean smiled. “If I’d have know you had this talent hidden, I would have dragged you out of law school and put you in some fancy ass art school. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sam shrugged. “Mr W, you went to law school? How’d you end up an art teacher?”

Sam glanced to his students who were waiting for an explanation. “I took art when I was pre law. Fell in love.” Then he glanced at you. “Met a girl. Fell in love again.” He smiled and you blushed. “I didn’t like the person I was becoming as a lawyer. I wanted to help people, but I was stuck, so I left. Went back to school to teach. Married the girl who loved me and supported me through it all. I can’t believe you did this..”

“People are asking to buy, Sammy. You can do.”  He glanced around as people talked about his work. “There’s one piece that I just hung. It’s by a different artist, but I think you’ll like it.”

That confused him but he followed you. It was a centerpiece, hanging from the ceiling with a curtain covering it. “I did this one. I’m no artist like Sammy, it’s the best I could muster.” You chuckled. “Honestly, a bit of a collaboration piece..”

“With who?” Sam tried to peek under the material, but you slapped his hand away.

“With you.”

Sam looked even more confused until you pulled the curtain away and he saw what it was. It was a painting that looked like a very early ultrasound with a positive pregnancy test on it. An applause started, students hooting and cheering, but Sam just looked at you. “Is that..”

“Mhm.” You nodded. “I’m pregnant.”

He stood there frozen for a minute, looking at your rough painting like it was the most beautiful piece of art ever painted. “No wonder you’re so insatiable lately..” He mumbled, and you laughed. “Sell it all.” He turned to you. “Everything, but this. This.. this is going up in the house.” He smiled.

“You heard the man.” You called out to the gathered crowd. “Pull out your check books. We’ve got a baby to save for.”

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Tagging : New fics- @sandlee44 

Sam - @evyiione 

Supernatural - @roxyspearing @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels @mrs-celestial-dragneel-redfox23 @internationalmusicteacher @extreme-supernatural-lover @super100012 @legend-o-zelda @myloveforyouxx @kickasscas67 

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#spnaubingo #reader insert #eventplanner!reader #art teacher!sam #samxreader #sam x reader #sam #sam fics #sam winchester #sam winchester fics #sam fluff #fluff fics #fluff #spn #spnfics #supernatural #supernatural fics #pregnant!reader

[daddysfavouriteboytoy]

Wayne O’Pry

Name: Wayne O’Pry Age: 32 Birthday: 7th of September Gender: Male Sexuality: closet Pansexual Species: Human Ethnic: Irish Appearance: (Face-claim: Jake Gyllenhaal)

Clothing: Wayne prefers to wear comfortable clothes which are more often than not either modern or timeless. Height: 1,92 m Weight: 80,9 kg Personality: Wayne is an excellent manager of day-to-day tasks and routine maintenance, enjoying making sure that those who are close to him are well cared for, especially his kids. Since he’s alone with his children his sense of responsibility and duty increased a lot and he even grew quite overprotective of them. At the same time, he’s warm-hearted, affectionate, complimentary, loving and tends to put the needs of others over his own. Wayne values relationships and his family over economically success, as well as appreciating stability and security very highly, which makes him extremely loyal and trustworthy as relative, partner and friend. These qualities come together to make him social, comfortable and well-liked. Wayne has a strong need to “belong”, and has no problem with small talk or following social cues in order to help him take an active role in the community. These strengths are related to a main weakness: His preoccupation with social status and influence, which affects many decisions he makes, potentially limiting his open-mindedness at times. The man may also sometimes push his own beliefs too hard in an effort to establish them as mainstream. It can be especially challenging to change these tendencies because Wayne is so conflict-averse. He can become very defensive and hurt if someone, especially a person close to him, criticizes his habits, beliefs or traditions. Whenever Wayne is down he needs positive reinforcement to feel good about himself again, he needs to hear and see a great deal of appreciation and if he doesn’t get it, Wayne is known for inconspicuously compliment-fishing. On other side, Wayne sometimes tries to establish his value with doting attention, especially his children or close friends, something that can quickly overwhelm those who don’t need it, making it ultimately unwelcome. Furthermore, the man often neglects his own needs in the process. Therefore, it is quite easy to take advantage of Wayne. Relationships: Stella O’Pry – mother; 59 years old; English professor; married; alive Timothy O’Pry – father; 65 years old; retired; married; alive Jessica Peterson – younger sister; 29 years old; kindergarten teacher; married; alive Dustin Alex Peterson – brother-in-law; 35 years old; trucker; married; alive Jeannie O’Pry – wife; 30 years old; nurse; married; deceased Dean O’Pry – son; 6 years old; student; single; alive Ebony Jeannie O’Pry – daughter; 11 months old; -; single; alive Likes: his kids, taking care of people, compliments, AC/DC, hard rock, Guns ‘n Roses, watching football, reading to his kids, black and white movies, going to the beach Dislikes: loneliness, strangers talking to/about his kids, the taste of strong alcohol, having to be nice to rude clients, people thinking he’s bad at parenting because he’s a man/people telling he needs a wife for his kids, leaving his kids alone even when it’s only for a few minutes, cactuses, talking about his past wife, tattoos, the singles women of his son’s friends flirting with him (throwing themselves at him) Hobbies: drawing, painting, surfing, kick boxing, reading to his kids, playing badminton, playing cards with his son, taking walks in the nearby park with his children Occupation: Graphic Designer Position: Switch, mostly tops Virgin: No Turn-ons: a bit of roleplaying, hickeys, lingerie, pet names, blowjobs, public teasing Turn-offs: orgasm denial, choking, threesomes, degrading, daddy kink, acting childish Other:

owns two Holland lop, a brown one called Lucy and a white one called Sammy

is a vegetarian but still cooks meals with meat for his children

has always painkillers and band-aids with him whenever he goes out

is prone to easily get headaches when the weather changes

basically lives off coffee

Backstory: Wayne had a normal childhood, his parents showered him in love whenever they could and paid for everything he ever wanted, after all, he was their only child. That was until three years later his mother was pregnant again. Even though his parents couldn’t spend as much time with him as before, the boy was still just as excited to get a younger sibling as his parents were. To be honest, getting a sibling was the young boy’s secret but at the same time biggest wish come true. Although all the other kids in kindergarten seemed to always complain about their younger brothers and sisters, Wayne always thought they were exaggerating. He imagined, having someone to play with, tease, protected and most importantly blame all the silly things he did on, very nice and enjoyable. Not that his parents weren’t great playmates, they were just so boring sometimes with all their work and chores. A few months later it was finally the day his father and he visited his mother in the hospital and got to finally see the new baby. Not to lie, Wayne was a bit disappointed that his sibling was a girl, however, the euphoria was too much and kept him from sulking over the baby being a girl. At first, it was nothing like the young boy imagined it to have a sibling, as soon as his mother and sister came home, the baby was crying the whole time and kept the whole family awake during the night. To the family’s dismay, this didn’t change till Jessica was eventually around three and got her own room. During the next few years, the young girl grew a lot quieter while Wayne used his change to drag her along on each of his adventures in the neighbours’ gardens or the small nearby woods. The two kids often came back home with dirty clothes and scratched faces from running into twigs on their way through the “witches’ forest”, how the two kids liked to call it. Unfortunately, their fun soon had to stop because Wayne had to go to middle school and during those years he had to study a lot more than throughout his elementary school years. The normally so energetic boy began to spend more time in his room, doing homework, studying and sometimes drawing to pass the time when he was not in the mood for schoolwork. The thoughts of exploring the forest with his sister vanished and were replaced by the worries to live up to his parents’ new expectations of him. His best friend and school were the only reasons why he even left the house anymore. However, the boy who was once his closest friend had to move away when their first year of high school started. It seemed like Wayne was about to fall into a low-level depression. This was until he met Jeannie, the geeky but cute girl which sat next to him during the Mathematics, Physic and English lessons. At first, they only ever talked whenever one of them needed to borrow a pen or a piece of paper but soon they realized, they actually had a lot in common. Soon the two began spending more and more time together and Jeannie managed to get Wayne out of the house and introduced him to all of his friends and new opportunities. Once again, Wayne hung out with other people and pushed school a bit aside, of course still studying but just not as much anymore. At the same time, thanks to his new friends, Wayne found his passion for digital art and already decided to become a graphic designer during his sophomore year of high school. Also, a bit of a romance started to develop between Jeannie and Wayne throughout their last few high school years. Even though it took not quite a year and a half and a lot of help from his friends, the blonde boy eventually asked his crush out, who immediately accepted and told him, it took long enough to make the first move. After high school, Wayne went off to college where he wanted to study for his, still, dream job, graphic designer while Jeannie started working at her sister’s boutique in their hometown, being six hours away from each other. Neither his girlfriend nor he broke things off after their senior year, the two young adults had a long-distance relationship in which one of them always visited the other when they had time for a few days. Obviously, it was complicated for the both of them but they surprisingly managed to keep a steady relationship, at least, until Jeannie got pregnant after her boyfriend’s last visit. Even though Wayne didn’t graduate from college at that time, the young man was certain, he had learned enough to find a job, he moved back to his hometown in which his girlfriend was waiting for him. The two moved in together and Wayne began working for the town’s newspaper-agency as a photographer. The birth was not as bad as Wayne and Jeannie thought it would be, their baby boy was breathing and even though his girlfriend was exhausted, she was okay as well. A month later, the baby and the two young parents were at home, Jeannie cared for their son and decided to be a stay-at-home-mother while Wayne’s dad, who worked as an author since he retired, managed to get his son a few clients needing someone, who could design them a good-looking book cover. Slowly but surely Wayne made enough money to quit his old job and started his new self-employed career as a graphic designer. Life was good and everything went fine, so Wayne proposed to Jeannie, obviously, she said yes. The wedding was soon because the couple didn’t want to waste any more time, after all, they didn’t get any younger and both were sure to be soulmates. The event was big with all their friends, family and relatives were invited. At the same everything was beautifully decorated in white and light-blue. The night was just as exciting as the day and Jeannie got pregnant again. The pregnancy was fine until the birth, the baby’s head was too big and the child was stuck. Jeannie needed to have a C-section. This was where it went wrong, some of the surgical tools weren’t as sterile as they should be and Jeannie got a dangerous infection. At first, nobody noticed anything and the couple was just happy to see the beautiful face of their daughter. Unfortunately, the mother got a fever not too long after the operation, at first doctors thought it was only something harmless and gave her some drugs to calm the fever down. However, nothing seemed to work and while the baby was ready to leave the hospital with his father, the mother still had to stay because her conditions only seemed to worsen. Jeannie died not too long after on the infection, which was only found out when it was already too late. Wayne decided against suing the hospital, it wouldn’t make his wife come back from the dead and at least they managed to save his daughter during the birth. Since this tragic day, Wayne had to care for his children alone, only his sister-in-law is sometimes taking care of the kids whenever he has a longer meeting with a client.

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