#( ... it's neither fine nor terribly healthy but hey this is ... the other reason it means so much to me that he DOES loosen up and begin to

[lesbirdan]

dedue deserves the world & i just want him to be Cherished ... he’s so surprised, caught off-guard, a little wary, in all his C supports where someone first reaches out to him (mercedes, annette, ashe, sylvain ... byleth) and i want! him to know! that he is beloved! i want him to know how much he means to the Lions, how important he is to all of them -- i want him to have more than two people he believes he can trust and rely on. i need him to believe his life has meaning for its own sake, for what he means to the people around him, to his friends, not just for his role as protector.

(even felix. god i wish they had an a-support where felix apologizes for treating him like that. felix? apologize? never in a thousand years but STILL.)

it’s like. it’s the major draw to dedue/dimitri for me because it’s so, so plain that all of the trust & faith that dedue places in dimitri is returned with interest. "never throw your life away again.” “maybe you believe that i am someone special, but i believe the same of you. you are irreplaceable. cherished.” the scenes in Dedue’s paralogue -- Dimitri asking if Dedue wants to explain the Tragedy, or if it’s too difficult a subject, and accepting without a word Dedue’s affirmation that no, this is his to explain. “you will call me your friend, again and again! no matter how many hardships i must endure ... ” / “to be your friend ... is what i have always wanted.”

there is just ... so much softness and love between them, so much gently reciprocated respect and care, so much devotion freely given and returned -- the dedication to each other that comes from truly shared ideals and goals, from unity of purpose

and to return to my original point -- dedue finally allowing himself to be loved? finally believing that he is so, so loved? irreplaceable, and cherished?

it means the world to me and i care about this so much 😭

#fe3h #blue lions #dimidue #dedue molinaro #i have other thoughts about dedue's reservation and kind of #bricking himself into the protector/bodyguard role as a means of emotional self-protection #from the prejudice of others yes but ... also from loss #his family was murdered in a horrifically traumatic way when he was thirteen and #while he's definitely ... got healthier ways of coping with it than dimitri ... it's plainly impacted him just as harshly #if he doesn't let himself get close to people -- these people with whom he is semi-regularly in danger #these people he will see on the battlefield #will see wounded and maybe killed #he can't feel that loss again #can't feel that terror or the guilt of seeing someone he cares for in pain #if he makes himself a shield; if he takes every blow so no one else has to -- he will never have to feel grief again and that's fine. #( ... it's neither fine nor terribly healthy but hey this is ... the other reason it means so much to me that he DOES loosen up and begin to #heal and bond with the other Lions over the course of their support chains) #ha i should just make this another post huh #life of bird #what is their ship name anyway #fe3h tag #blue lions tag #dimidue tag

[comfort--cafe]

Self esteem and love issues:(

Hey, I don’t know how this works but today I feel like I can’t trust or talk to anyone who surrounds me:( The thing is that there’s a boy, he’s kind of a fuckboy, but not exactly. He gets along really REALLY well with girls, if you know what I mean, he’s always surrounded by them. He’s also so extrovert and confident, and then, there’s me, I used to be really really quiet until I started talking to him, we became close, and he used to talk about how in love he was with this girl or the other… I didn’t really care, I have boyfriend, but unfortunately he is also like this boy🤦🏻‍♀️😕, plus it seems I suck as girlfriend cause our relationship is basically death. For some reason I always end up with this kind of… assholes? Idk. I know my self esteem isn’t the best, and I am starting to think that this boys know it, and they always use me. But going back to this guy, well, our class started to bother us about being in love and that stuff a month ago, and then people started asking us for real if we were a couple and it became weird. Then I started to feel something for him (I never told anyone) but it was pretty obvious for me that he didn’t, and wouldn’t settle down, but then last weekend he told me he felt something for me, that he wanted something but he knows I have boyfriend, and he believes I feel nothing for him. To put you in context, I behave like a coldhearted person, with dry humour, etc. But at the same time, I look like a little girl, naive, sweet, etc. And because of that, everyone thinks I need protection. He told me that if I give him a chance, by the end of January I will be in love with him, and then, we will move to the next thing, and you know, until we date. He told me my relationship with my boyfriend wasn’t healthy or even a relationship. I told him I will give him a chance, but now I’m scared because I doubt he wants to settle down, and I’ve been through this a few times. But the other day a friend told me that she heard that some of his girl friends (who ship us btw) started to argue with him and told him that if he wanted something with me he needed to change, and he told them that he really wanted something real with me, he wanted to settle down. But they always say that when they are in love, aren’t they? And today I saw him talking to this girl, and I don’t know what exactly they had in the past but they had something. Of course I didn’t complain or ask him for explanations bc we aren’t anything now, and I don’t have a right to ask him I guess, but his best friend did, he argued with him, and then he said that this (me and him) doesn’t mean he can’t have a social life. So now I’m confused, and I don’t know if I should give him a chance. I low-key feel he is using me.

________________________________________________________________

Due to tumblr terrible system, I’ll have to answer this question through this formation, I apologies if this was of any inconvenience to you.

Salutations!

Since this will be a relatively large post, I’ll split this answer into 3 sections. The first section will provide a brief answer to your question, the second section will go into an explanation of the reason why I provided my first opinion as well as directly reference your ask, and lastly the third section will sum up everything mentioned previously. Each section will be broken with a provided line to make things easier to read. Please consider that this opinion is based on an external perspective, however, it’s something you should consider when making your final decision. I hope that this answer will help you.

 ______________________________________________________________

Beginning with the first section…

Just by reading your explanation of this boy (the fuckboy), my answer is no. Please don’t give him a chance to win you over, and please don’t consider dating him. He has repetitively shown personality traits that are considerably dangerous and manipulative. What we both want is for you to be in a healthy and stable relationship, and by judging based off the information you have provided, he has shown signs of being inexperienced and unreliable. Which, in-turn will affect your relationship with him. This doesn’t mean he is a bad person, but it does mean that he isn’t ready for a committed relationship. Perhaps he isn’t looking for a committed relationship, which is fine, but you should still consider how this type of relationship with him may affect your mental-well being.

Remember, a relationship requires two people working together. You need to have as much confidence in yourself, as equal confidence in him. If you two both don’t pull equal weights, then the relationship becomes unstable and conflicting.

______________________________________________________________

Second Section...

Based by your ask, it seems that you’re extremely unsure of how you should interact with this boy. Confused, doubtful, and nervous these emotions are normally a good indication of how you should treat this situation. What I find helps me is listing all of the pros and cons of a situation, considering both the logical response and your emotive response. This helps de-clutter everything and provide a physical and visual aid when deciding your actions.

Returning back to your ask, I’ll be taking direct references from your ask and explain why these descriptions are a cause of concern.

The thing is that there’s a boy, he’s kind of a fuckboy, but not exactly…

People’s behavior can range from bad, neutral, and good. However, when considering relationships, it’s always better to have a person that leans towards the good side. In direct terms, he either acts like a fuckboy or doesn’t. He might not act like a fuckboy all the time (which is most likely the case), however if he can act like a fuckboy it does mean he has the potential to be a fuckboy and the capacity to do it again. So, I would suggest monitoring his behavior, be objective when responding to his actions. The first impression of his actions are the most important as they are what you would be dealing with if you do decide to date or get into a relationship with him.

 Plus, it seems I suck as girlfriend cause our relationship is basically death...

Have you considered the idea that perhaps neither of you are prepared for a relationship, obviously death is bad. But what about these relationships that makes it like death, was it how you or your partner responded to the situation? Or was it how you resolved conflict and negotiation between each other. Don’t only consider your actions, your partner is also a key factor when looking into the problems of a relationship. Remember, for a relationship to work effectively and be healthy, both partners need to be equal to each other and work together. Being in a relationship takes a lot of time and committed effort, sometimes you have to be confidence within your own capabilities before you start looking for a relationship. Do you personally feel prepared/ready to be in a relationship?

 I know my self esteem isn’t the best, and I am starting to think that this boys know it, and they always use me...

Once again, understanding your own limits, flaws, and faults are an important part in creating a healthy stable relationship. Whilst it’s okay to have flaws, such as low-self esteem. You need to acknowledge this (which you have) and understand how this might affect your perspective and decisions on issues. Whilst the majority of individuals don’t have purposeful malicious intent, people can use others for their own gain. It is common for people who are manipulative, to pick individuals with low-self esteem. Look up the term “gaslighting”, now not all guys purposefully try to do this, nor are all guys manipulative. However, this is something you should keep in mind when considering a partner and what you wish to have with them.

 But then last weekend he told me he felt something for me, that he wanted something but he knows I have boyfriend...

This is a major warning sign, he knows that you’re in a committed relationship, yet he still decided to ask you. If he’s willing to do that for you, who says he isn’t willing to ask someone else while dating you. Plus, it shows that he didn’t consider your current relationship. In other words, a lack of relationship boundaries and respect are being shown through this action.

 I look like a little girl, naive, sweet, etc. And because of that, everyone thinks I need protection...

Whilst it isn’t a bad thing to appear naïve/sweet, and even if you wanted to change this you could adjust your behavior to act as an independent and strong individual. But it does mean that due to your appearance, people might take advantage of you. This doesn’t mean that you should treat everyone as an enemy or as a dangerous foe, but it is something you should consider. Remember this, but don’t actively refer to it unless you need to or you feel doubtful (like in this current situation)

 He told me that if I give him a chance, by the end of January I will be in love with him...

He’s placing a time limit? That again, is another major warning sign. Falling in love takes time and lots of meaningful interactions, by him saying this, he sounds overly confident that he will win your love. He can’t guarantee a time limit on your feelings, he is essentially trying to win you over by making a deal with you. This isn’t how you treat your partner or person who you have interest with, you slowly form a relationship together. Not make a bet and rush into it.

 He told me my relationship with my boyfriend wasn’t healthy or even a relationship...

Regardless of whether it’s true or not, he has no right to say that her relationship with her current boyfriend isn’t healthy.  It would be different if he said something like “I’m worried about your relationship with X because he does a, b, and c, which makes me think he’s using you.” When he says “your relationship with X isn’t healthy or even a relationship, he’s trying to assert that it’s a fact when he might not know all the details of her relationship with the boyfriend.  If he said the second variant, then he’s putting it on himself by saying “I feel this way, though I recognize that it might not actually be the case. I just want to know that you’re okay.” But once again, another warning sign since he’s pushing his perspective onto you. Without considering your feelings or opinion, he’s being overly assertive. This isn’t a good thing; a relationship requires the judgement of both yourself and your partner. Without considering your perspective, this sets you up for a codependent relationship.

 I’ve been through this a few times...

Take your past experiences as an indication of what people might try and do in these situations. Learn from the past and most importantly your mistakes. If you felt dodgy previously, then that should give you an individuation of now.

 So now I’m confused, and I don’t know if I should give him a chance. I low-key feel he is using me...

If you ever feel that someone is using you, then they must have given off some signals to give you that impression.  Always trust your instinct if you feel like someone’s being shady, because it’s your mind’s way of trying to tell you that someone’s words and actions don’t quite line up.

  ______________________________________________________________

 Third Section...

Now, as always you don’t have to take our advice. This is completely your decision, and you should make the decision that feels right and comfortable. With this, if you do decide to give him a chance. There are just a few things I’ll like to add…

Know your limits: if you don’t feel comfortable or secure in saying/doing something, don’t do it. Learn your limits and come to understand what you are personally okay with.

Look at warning signs, if he starts being physically, verbally, or emotionally abusive. Leave the relationship as soon as possible. The longer you stay with him, the harder it becomes to break it off.

Know some basically manipulation techniques (foot-in-door-technique, warning signs, guilt tripping), guilt tripping is especially important as your low-self-esteem would support this manipulation.

Always ask the opinion of others when you feel confused, getting more external advice and opinion can help clear away a bias or uncertain perspective.

Stay safe, you are responsible for your own health and care. Please take the time to take care of your own well being.

Don’t be afraid to say no, no means no. No matter what the situation is. 

I apologies if this ask was answered late, but hopefully I’ve covered everything that could help you with this situation. Hopefully this reaches you in time and that you can feel more secure in making your decision.

 Thank you for ordering at the comfort-café!

Come visit us again anytime!

Mod Chef

#relationships #anonymous #relation advice #manipulation #comfort cafe #well being #you are loved #you are worth the fight #you are strong #submission

[cetaceans-pls]

Knock Knock (It’s The Sound of the Police)

The perils of questionable visitors late in the night, and the best thing about having Yuu-chan on speed dial.

DGM real life au

-

Lavi wouldn’t describe himself as a scaredy-cat type. The last horror movie he saw was some high-budget Hollywood thing about aliens in the ISS, and he’d spent the entire time thinking that that’s a massive breach of good lab practice, hey, that’s a massive breach of good lab practice, whoa, that’s a massive breach of good-

In general, he watches ghosts and demons and vampires and murderers and goes, this is a massive breach of good sense, and he’ll get a kick of adrenaline from jump scares but the affects don’t last. 

Every dog has its day, the horror movie industry would probably scream back at him if they could.

He had clocked out of the lab a bit earlier than usual, citing a throbbing headache, but it was already dark out. The moon was heavy and full, the air was dead and muggy, and the streets were unusually quiet. Even the cicadas seemed to have taken a day off, but he lives in a pretty rural area, and there is not a rural area on this God’s green earth that isn’t borderline liminal space.

He comes home to two police cars parked in front of his small, rundown apartment complex, to find out that there had been a break-in at the landlord’s dingy single-family home that’s set a little apart from their complex, and the keys to all the apartments had been stolen. The landlord is sweating profusely, and Lavi feels pretty bad for the man; that kind of invasion of privacy must feel like sticky grease on the skin and heavy fog in the chest, urgh.

The landlord guarantees that all the locks will be changed tomorrow, first thing in the morning when the locksmith’s open, and Lavi tells him not to worry. Firstly, there’s not a lot of things of value in his apartment, most of his research stuff is safely tucked away in servers on campus grounds.

Secondly, he’s taller and broader than most people in Japan but also dresses like he’s half a hobo, which he doesn’t imagine makes for a particularly attractive target.

Thirdly, and maybe most importantly, Yuu-chan lives with him, and if there has ever a more menacing reason not to indulge in home invasion, Lavi’s never met them.

Yuu’s probably still at work, closing shift at the soba store right by the station. Lavi’s got time and a headache to kill, and after texting Yuu an update and slotting the deadbolt lock behind him, he goes to take a shower and illegally watch some movies.

-

Jeeze, what a frankly horrifying movie. It’s the dead of the night now, and Lavi’s tucked under the sheets, trying to avoid screaming as a creepy shadow softly, softly slithers through the front door. Run, you fucking idiot, is what he wants to say. Aaaaarghghghhghg is what comes out after he shoves his fist in his mouth, shadow and victim now in the same room.

It becomes “What th’fuck, the fuck!” when the doorbell suddenly rings, close to midnight. It’s not Yuu-chan, the customary “on the way back” text hasn’t come yet, so who could it be?

He’s not a fearful man, but between a robber on the loose, demons on the screen, and fuzziness in the head (courtesy of cough syrup he’d optimistically used when he found that they were out of aspirin), Lavi is half out of his goddamn mind.

So he keeps quiet as a mouse, glad that for the sake of Atmosphere he’s turned off all the lights and he’s got headphones on. The knocking comes again, and he feels his eye twitch. Gosh, isn’t this stressful! He has half a mind to call Yuu and demand a swifter return, but first he waits to see what the entity on the other side of the door decides to do.

The doorbell rings again, but it goes quiet after that, and he breathes out a sigh of relief. Maybe someone had come to visit a friend and had gotten a little turned around and gone to the wrong house. Maybe someone got a little drunk and can’t find their own house. Lots! Of logical possibilities!

He’s still not going to answer the door.

It’s all good, fine and well; Yuu-chan’s text comes around the time it usually does, which means that Lavi’s only going to be home alone and feeling low-key haunted for another 10, 20 minutes tops.

How bad could it be? The movie’s almost finished anyways, how much bad luck could befall Ben in the next 8 minutes, anyways-

The doorbell rings again, and Lavi honest to God screams, mimicking poor Ben getting terribly murdered onscreen. 

The scream seems to have made things worse, because immediately after that the thing on the other side of the door gives up on the doorbell and starts viciously knocking, outright banging on the door. 

He keeps his cool, enough to reach for his phone to call the police, but all thought leaves this mortal body of his when the lock starts turning, and it sounds like there’s a veritable flock of demons throwing themselves at the door.

Lord, God, the police, his grandfather; he forgets all of them, in favour of The Highest Power.

The call’s answered almost as soon as he presses the little green button; Yuu-chan is, at the end of the day, the most reliable of them all.

“The hell, Lavi.” Ah, the flat tone that could decimate the 7th circle of hell itself! Lavi loves it, loves it the very most when he has these kinds of nights where his grip on reality is a liiiiitle bit slippery.

“Babe,” he gasps, head fully under the sheets now, one earbud still in, Ben still screaming in torment. “Babe, uhm, not t’be dramatic, yeah, but there’s either some ghosts or a thief or a, a murderer out th’door, bangin’ it down, ‘nd they’re tryin’ to unlock th’door, ‘nd I am actually losing m’mind.” Ben, Christ, please stop. “You almost home?”

There’s a short pause on the other end of the line, and suddenly there’s the sound of air whistling by. How fast can a cyclist go and still be on the right side of the law?

Doesn’t sound like Yuu-chan gives a fuck.

“It’s probably in your stupid head. Just lock the bedroom door and watch a cat video or some shit. When I get home, you better pray there’s a demon out there I can beat up, or you’re going to be the one who gets it.”

Lavi expects the call to be ended, but it doesn’t; Yuu stops talking, but the wind, the rough grind of the chains when the bike goes uphill, the slightest hint of heavy breathing, it’s all clear.

Yuu is, in that most classical manner, coming to the rescue, and Lavi is already feeling better. The knocking is being accompanied by yelling, now, maybe grunts. It’s hard to tell through the front and bedroom door, but suddenly he hears Yuu-chan barking “Hey!” extremely angrily, and then the sounds at the door abruptly stop.

The cavalry! Has arrived! Lavi grabs the closest weapon he has, the jug of water on the nightstand, and runs for the front door. It’s easier to find strength when Yuu-chan’s there bulldozing down a path ahead.

He flings the door open, to the extraordinary sight of Yuu-chan throwing a stranger over her shoulder, following through to pull the arm back and plant her booted foot square in the centre of their back. The grip she has on the stranger’s arm is solid, and she twists the wrist just shy or breaking. 

Two more men are surrounding her, looking extremely wary. Possibly because she looks like she would break their companion’s wrist (she might), possibly because she might then come after them (she would).

“What the fuck were you all doing at my door?” she growls, digging her heel in, but addressing the men who were still upright and not currently whimpering. “If you’re robbers, just give up now or I’ll break 3 arms instead of just one.” She twists it, a little more, and the man underneath her moans piteously.

Lavi is cheering, while the taller stranger clears his throat, and very, very slowly reaches inside his coat to pull out an-

officer’s badge.

“Ma’am,” the man says in the calmest tone of voice Lavi has ever, ever heard, “we are hear to investigate the break-in at your landlord’s house. Fujimoto there was going door-to-door to ask if anyone heard or saw anything, when he heard screaming coming from your apartment. No one was answering, so he was trying to open the door with the master key we got from the landlord before you, uh,,,”

“Over-the-shoulder slammed him right to the ground,” Cop #2 adds almost too enthusiastically.

Yuu looks at them like she doesn’t really trust them, but lets go of poor, poor Fujimoto and steps back, arms at the side, stance loose and ready to fuckin’ rumble. She stands in front of their door, in front of Lavi, and it feels a lot like guardian deities at the gates to a temple. Fuck, people are one thing. It sure feels like it could have been an actual ghost and Yuu-chan would still fuck them up. 

“We didn’t see anything, we didn’t hear anything. Next time identify your damn selves before trying to break into people’s houses if you don’t want to get slammed to the ground. Bye.” She shoves Lavi further inside, slams the door, and clicks her tongue. “Idiots.”

She turns to Lavi, and gives him a once-over, probably to make sure that he’s healthy, hearty and whole. “Idiot,” she says again, smacking the back of his head almost fondly.

“Y’know how I get, babe,” Lavi’s smiling like a goddamn idiot. “It’s been one o’ those days, but ‘s all good, lady,” a peck on the lips, “thanks, my hero.”

“I don’t get paid enough for this bullshit,” Yuu says, pushing him away with a hand straight to the face, but she’s got her Scary Smirk on, which means she’s feeling pretty smug right about now (how well-earned!),

Neither thieves nor ghouls, nor robbers nor wraiths can stand in the way of Kanda Yuu, and days like these when it felt like all of ‘em were beating down their door, Lavi’s really glad he has the one-woman combination of both the Great Wall and the Conquering-Horde wonder in the world for a girlfriend.

It ends up being a pretty good night, all in all.

-

(A/N: aka my fucking thursday, minus a saviour gf)

#dgm #D.Gray-Man #laviyuu #lavi #kanda yuu #fanfic #regular life dgm au #it's been a fucky week for me ah #lady!kanda