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boobchuy · 2 years

Note

ok talk 2 me about amphibia wandersong au. what are the plantars/grime up to. is andrias the baron

JHSGJHG OK OK OK

First off.. anyone who wants to play wandersong for themselves or watch a playthrough of it I recommend not reading this post to avoid SPOILERS!!! There will be lots of that here (and I also recommend not reading it even if u don’t mind, wandersong is something best experienced for urself blind :’) but again, that’s just my own opinion! Feel free to do whatever u want :thumbsup: )

This is all under read more for above reason… and the undeniable fact that this will be novella type long ramblings. I am so sorry.

I have to admit before anything else that I haven’t been able to give much thought to what happens to the other characters in this au ToT. amphibia’s cast doesn’t compare to the whole of wandersong’s ! so ive thought of keeping most of the characters in the game to here and maybe swapping a few of them where it most fits… most of everything im gonna be saying here is highly subject to change!!

NOW ONTO THE ACTUAL CHARACTERS U ASKED LMFAO SORRY THIS IS… SO LONG.

Im not actually sure whether its best to make the amphibians human or keep them as amphibians. Making them human seems like the logical choice, but wandersong as a world is quirky enough where no one would bat an eye at humanoid frog people, lol, but I digress! Anything would work, really

The most ive thought about the plantars is that anne lives w them over at Delphi! Some wartwoodian folk live at the town, some don’t. most of them fit more in langtree tbh, but whatever fits whatever. Annes backstory has changed a lot too. For one thing, she and the plantars aren’t related by blood, and so she is the only witch known to live in the town. (she was kinda regarded similarly in season 1 canon as a ‘monster’) in short, annes adopted! And the plantars were the only ones willing to take her in to their home. And yes they are still farmers in this au.

Grime (and the toads in general) is……………. difficult to think about since like, they don’t have any sort of foundation for them T_________T one of the saddest things abt Audrey is how she literally had… no one on her side that she was close to on a personal level, or at the very least no one was shown or was there any implication that there was. Eyala is there, but that was only due to circumstance, and everyone who has played wandersong knows how that even ended up in canon. And as such, m’not sure what to make of grime’s role o(-( I am so sorry. Ive thought of swapping him w eyala, but that does NOT fit at all. The next best thing is that the toads would be new characters and that sasha would actually have other support systems throughout the whole plot, but she’d probably be more distant from them in comparison to canon.

As for the newts. Oh boy. Another difficult thing to tackle, though a bit less than the toads since theres something to scrounge for here. Andrias could def fit the baron! Regarding him as like, the Big Guy and santa claus and all. But as marcy’s dad? That’s where it gets complicated I think kjhkjhsdfjk. Man its so hard to think about their families in this when we’ve got little to no content of them in canon :’) annes was easy since in-game theyre… *coughs*, but anyways back to marcy

Im not sure on what to do w her parents, of keeping them as in the game or in amphibia. Marcy kinda fits kiwis personality to a certain extent if I kept them as the former. Like, I imagine her moving away from home to get away from her fam and Chismet in general. [holding back from rambling abt marcys relationship w everyone bc im trying to focus on the newts] UHUH UHUH UH I have a feeling its best to keep her parents as in the game (viable to change if her parents in the show are ever revealed) and some newts in the show live in chismet

Andrias… what do I do with you big guy… Whatever it is he works in the factory, too. If he WERE to be the baron though, then thats a whole nother can of worms to open. So much stuff to unpack here in regards to what happened to him and how he got there. (oh my god imagine the core as the stupid happy kid toy. That’s so.)

as for Olivia and yunan. They live in chismet and work for the factory as well, Olivia can fit elmer to a certain degree, though except of being… what he is in the game, she’d kinda be less intense and is actually privy to the plan to take the factory down. Yunan is also a part of said plan, whether she takes elara’s role is something im not sure of. I imagine yulivia to just kinda be these two dancing around each other, and in the end of everything is when they talk things out :’)

GOD ALRIGHT. UHM. This is long. And this doesn’t even cover HALF of what wandersong is. Lots of stuff to work on here. If anyone else has ideas feel free to send em to me whether in asks or like, reblog this post!!

And again, this is all subject 2 change !!! this au is less of fitting everything and more of me having fun w the calamity trio and cramming them into kiwi, miriam and audrey’s roles in wandersong lol. I cant even begin to think of how to manage all of that the other way around kjhdfkhdfg

That said, if the person reading this hasn’t, please check out wandersong!!!! It is so deeply, deeply underrated, and it has given me so many reasons to smile in the past few years ive known it!!! If u have time of ur day where u just want to relax and be a bard and save the world and sing ur silly little songs, this game is a must >:D

#talking to frogs #ws au #i spent an hour writing this on a ms word doc.#thank you so much #dragon if u have any of ur own ideas please... plesase trell me them.... i have a need #THIS GOES TO ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS PLAYED WANDERSONG AND IS AN AMPHIBIA ENJOYER ACTUALLY #also GO CHECK OUT WANDERSONG #CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH

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dreamsafterhours · 4 years

Text

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: III (mark’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: mark+my/n (fem), donghyuk+dy/n (fem), platonic!mark+dy/n, platonic!donghyuk+my/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college bf warning: some swearing

masterlist

or click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

III: 별빛이 내린다 샤라랄라랄라라 (2+2=4)

the meeting of two souls: mark & my/n

hi hello good day how are you? i hope you're well today/tonight this is like 3 weeks late isn't it :D pls don't come after me i lost some motivation to write for a while but here i am now so let's get to it!!

aight so you met donghyuk's roommate for the first time yesterday and,,

you honestly had NO IDEA someone could be that cute

highkey regretting not asking for his name but you were so caught up in lingering on the fact that he implied you were pretty , like wHO DOES THAT ASDFKJL

you highkey shouted the verbal equivalent of a keyboard smash with ur roommate and she was all !! oh so this guy cute cute

you were contemplating whether or not to sneakily ask donghyuk for his name but you were worried bc hyuk has,, crazy sense when it comes to reading people and seeing through their words

and honestly you didn’t want to have to deal with hyuk potentially teasing the shit out of u for having a maybe crush on his roommate whom u’d just met

so you just beat your pillow sleep on it after your roommate reminds you it’s getting late and no life decisions should be made after 12am!! live by it

you wake up craving jjajangmyeon but alas if you were to get any satisfaction of that kind of hunger, it was going to have to wait because

~~ we love ~~ packed schedules ~~ in this house ~~

i hopes the sarcasm was noted in that previous sentence bc now u wish for life to cease

4 weeks into the semester and you were drowning in the midst of reports and lab pracs and content and revision

you were ready to ascend to the next life with only regret and an ability to vaguely explain the properties of a prokaryotic cell and endosymbiosis

but honestly donghyuk’s been a big help throughout the past month

your only friend in classes

official study buddy

2am revision session consultant

personal older brother bc he claimed you as his adoptive sister

another reason your roommate told you to go to bed was bc you literally have

a tutorial class + 2 consecutive 1.5 hour lectures + a 3 hour lab class to finish your day off

with no break for lunch in between :’((

looks like you’ll be starving through your library study session with dy/n

but oop

you find that dy/n had stayed up long after you’d fallen asleep writing her essay

leaving your dorm feeling a twinge of guilt that u might have distracted her from focusing on her work to listen to your rambles and kept her up later than she should have been

but a text from her in the afternoon reassures u that honestly she wasn’t even planning to write that essay and The Feels™ had just hit her last night and that she made it to class

you: oh PHEW that’s good

you: sorry i didn’t wake you up on my way out, u looked so peaceful i couldn’t bear to disturb

dy/n 🦁: dw dw it’s all g i made it n e way

dy/n 🦁: also is it cool if my friend and his friend comes to the study sesh as well we have to go through some lecture content

you: ah yes don’t see why not :)) i’ll probs have my earphones in the entire time anyways lmao won’t affect me

but will it

“who u texting in the middle of diffusion” cue hyuk peering over at the phone you’re hiding in your lap

you click your tongue at him and lock your phone, “someone twice the man you’ll ever be”

he gasps in mock horror like he’d just witnessed a murder as quietly as he can ,,

“you’re texting a guy? in the middle of diffusion?”

“no. my roommate lmao”

“and what? is it me or your roomma—”

“—my roommate” you glance back up at the prof without looking at him

“ouch”

“you dare?”

“if i don’t dare, who will”

and due to this exchange, you miss the osmosis slide

“ah shit what was osmosis again”

“lmfao what makes u think i know that”

(pause)

“isn't it just.. net movement of free water molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration”

sorry my bio neural pathways are being excited again after being revisited for the first time in two years

/stares at him/ “why was that infuriating to hear from u”

after class you prepare to head to your dreaded 3-hour lab class you have with donghyuk but he stands up and stares into the void blankly

“where am i going”

“where do u think”

“oh, hell, most likely”

you scoff at the accuracy and drag him out of the lecture hall

you look at donghyuk and he’s visibly resisting the urge to poke your cheek when he first puts on his gloves

“what’s with you today”

he stares at his hands forlornly, “idk ask that to my timetable”

“week 4 got u dead huh”

he glances at you with a frown, “don’t act like u’re not dying too”

“damn. touché”

to your dismay, the lab class runs later than scheduled and you get out of it 20 minutes after it was meant to finish but luckily it’s your last class

with a quick goodbye to donghyuk and a text letting dy/n know you were going to be a lil late, u stop by ur dorm to pick up ur textbook before rushing to the library

you were highkey exhausted and just. famished by that point

but a promise is a promise and you weren’t going to back out of one now

especially when you felt like you owed your roommate one and it was you who originally suggested a library session

so you get to the library, bag strap slung over your shoulder, checking the photo of the seats dy/n had saved for you in the library

highkey getting lost once or twice but you manage

you get to the general area and spot dy/n sitting at a four-seater (wow how’d they get that) but you

freeze when you see who’s sitting next to her

it’s ??

????????

????????????????

/error 404/

????????????????

????????

ur heart goes into panic mode bc

it’s not even kidding it’s donghyuk’s roommate

and despite ur brain short-circuiting

you manage to remember that dy/n had said that mentioned her friend’s.. roommate.. also coming along..

and if her friend was donghyuk’s.. roommate..

you: : )

you: oh my god they were roommates

and speak of the devil

“oh hey fancy seeing u here”

you turn around and it’s donghyuk legit chills right there

you barely reply a “hi”

“i thought u were going to ur dorm for dinner”

“ah yeah—no i’m.. gonna go over some.. diffusion”

“oii! over here dude” his roommate whisper-yells out at donghyuk

dy/n waves at you “heYY my/n”

donghyuk waves and turns back to you “welp i’m gonna join a study group.. you could join if you came alone? i’m sure they won’t mind”

“about that”

“u waiting for someone?”

“i’m going over there too”

“what?”

he glances over at the table and then back to you

“that’s my roommate. right there next to your roommate”

you point her out and then donghyuk’s jaw drops

“what the fUC—” and you both. burst iinto laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation

like ?? how???

“wOW r u KIDDING”

“HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN”

“talk about a coincidence.. oh my god my cheekbones hurt” he says as he clutches his side

so you get to the table and dy/n tries to introduce u to donghyuk’s roommate

“mark, this is my/n, my/n this is mark”

ah yes so mark is his name, you think

cute name for a cute boi

“nice to meet you again, mark”

dy/n: “?? again?”

mark gives u a rlly wide smile “yeah we’ve met. hi my/n”

you swear you’ve never had your heart flutter like this

fdksoafjadgioarigilf

then mark introduces dy/n to donghyuk and they start talking about how they’re your legal guardian and telling the other to “get in line”

leaving you in middle like “ok mum and dad” but also thinking back to when donghyuk was highkey flirting with you,, and now how he’s flirting with dy/n ,, oh dude he’s flirting

and highkey ,,, you don’t have any hard feelings about it ,, you know she’s also got this kind of humour code and she’s far more comfortable with meeting new people

until dy/n jokes about custody rules and donghyuk replies with “who says we’re split”

ok mum and dad

n e ways you came to study and study you will

so you settle down and go through your notes for the day

albeit being a lil distracted by mark who sits right across from you somehow, somewhy,,

somewhy should be a word you can’t tell me how to english

you keep wanting to steal glances at him but you have to physically restrain yourself from doing so

and also donghyuk who keeps poking u under the table and texting u even though he’s right next to you

💩hyuk: bro

you: wHAT

💩hyuk: nvm lol

you: im boutta slap u. give me my pen back i saw that

💩hyuk: damn

💩hyuk: also r u hungry

you: terribly

you: why

💩hyuk: does ur roommate have any allergies

you: not that i know of

you: again

you: why

you: u buyin?

💩hyuk: 🤡<- you

💩hyuk: 🤡, how do you feel about dinner

you: invalid question. no variable answer

💩hyuk: alright, 🤡. im not buying for u

you glower at him but he isn’t looking at u,, he leans back and laments about how he’s craving chinese food

did he read your damn mind how did he know

and apparently he’s read dy/n’s mind too at how she jumps up at the mention of chinese and agrees profusely

so you find yourself abandoning your studies for the rest of the night and in a restaurant lmfao

“chill,, guys,,, jjajang is fine”

rock paper scissors for the cheque ends in mark’s tears

“no it’s ok. i’m ok it’s our first meeting as a fateful group and it makes sense! for me to pay”

after you satisfy your cravings the boys walk dy/n and you back to your dorm

mark tells dy/n to give him her bag for him to carry and while she practically gives it up to him, he has to insist that he’ll carry yours too

to which you’re like omg no it’s fine i can carry it it’s not that heavy i swear—

until donghyuk takes ur bag off ur shoulder and passes it to mark

because of the narrow path, you’re forced to walk in pairs and you end up walking next to donghyuk who makes happy sounds about how good that food was and how priceless mark’s face was when he lost rock paper scissors

then dy/n takes the initiative to make a group chat for you four,, asking for donghyuk’s number to add

you give her a look like damn gurl but you have no idea if she saw or if she just ignored you on purpose lmfao

also donghyuk looked way too happy afterwards

either way you slapped her when you got back to the dorm like “SINCE WHEN WERE YOU SO ?? BRAVE?”

dy/n: um

dy/n: honey

dy/n: have you met me

and thus the chaos of a group chat was born and just like a real child, you spent hours on it

dy/n 🦁: ok we inside

you: thanks for dinner again mark!

💩hyuk: he says you’re welcome

💩hyuk: i say we “accidentally” lose our purses next time we go out

you: nah you’re paying next

💩hyuk: y

💩hyuk: y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: yes y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: HAHAH WHY IS SHE 🤡

💩hyuk: i thought you of all people would know

dy/n 🦁: why is she just as dumb in class as she is in the dorm?

💩hyuk: i knew it

dy/n 🦁: she poured too much hot water into her tea the other day it overflowed and spilt onto her foot

mark: oh no were u okay

💩hyuk: looks like you’re gonna have to study osomsis

💩hyuk: osmoiss

💩hyuk: fuck

you: yes i’m okay it wasn’t that hot i had socks on too

💩hyuk: osmosis

dy/n 🦁: avoided tragedy luckily

💩hyuk: finally

you: there is a reason you’re saved as 💩hyuk on my phone

dy/n 🦁: HAAHAHAHAHHAHAH

seriously you just don’t know just how much this group was going to mean to you yet

click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

shoot me an ask if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!

#dreamwritersnet #kwritersworldnet #neowriters #nct au #nct 127 au #nct dream au #markhyuck #markhyuck au #markhyuck x reader #mark x reader #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #mark au #haechan au #donghyuck au #nct college #nct college au #eng lit mark #paediatrics haechan

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riskeith · 3 years

Note

hi babe, hope you slept well.. ♥️

answering on the phone is just *takes screenshots* *opens tumblr app* *switch between screenshots and answering* do you also put on my messages on the laptop and answering with your phone usually, because that’s what i do lmao sjshdks. thank god for technology.

(I LOVE BEING CALLED BRO.. i believe that i would’ve been a dudebro in another life tbh..) there is? i’m not super immersed in the fandom actually so i had no idea, do you have any examples? ofc only if you wanna talk about it i know these topics can sometimes be annoying to think about. also you’re right! ‘don’t like don’t read’ is the law. follow it. i can’t believe how some people have the nerve to talk about what other people do creatively... yikes

you should if you ever find yourself not knowing what to read! i think their fics were some of my first in the fandom and they set the bar so high hehe. dude i love how oikawa just wants to see kageyama burn it’s so funny..... he’s so cocky about it while kageyama’s just his moody self. speaking of; one of my fave fics of yours is the swapping jerseys one!

WTF 😭 BABY POOLS AND POOL FLOATIES..... razor please come back to us please. sidenote but do you also think that his powers are 5 star level? hes soo powerful it’s so odd how he’s only 4 star haha... or maybe it’s just me being biased.

YEAH! THE SAVING SCENE IS SO AHHHHH. god especially if they have dialogue while person a is hurting and person b just spills all their feelings and becomes so erratic and scared and person a is like holy shit you love me.... and after everything is okay there’s still some awkwardness and tension and aaa.... 💢💔

OOO. sadly the ps5 is always out of stock it’s crazy how fast it sold out. but i mean it makes sense it’s arguably the most popular console so.. hopefully they restock soon. last of us is such a fun game! and the second part is ~gay~ which is always a plus. i’m not sure which memes you mean? tell me 👁 HAHA that makes sense actually omg... lumine and aether reunion won’t happen until like two years if the updates keep coming the way they are (STOP THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE SO FUNNY.... like hello if you want to unlock the rest of the story you either gacha $pin for it or you imagine it yourself love ♥️😗) talking about this makes me wonder what the other worlds might look like....

your followers are just here to witness us planning our co-op date sjsjdkdjskz. speaking of,,, hehe. i have some fantastic news. i’m at ar level 11 right now and co-op unlocks at level 16... i might just reach that tomorrow (today for you) so i’m just saying hehehehehehehehehehehe.... 😏♥️

BOWL CUT. my cutie little baby. also mullet? sounds nice omg you will probably rock that look... 😳 i’m a non mullet supporter but if cluna has a mullet then call me a yeehaw mullet lover i suppose. can’t believe my wife is a cowboy. OMG YEAH IT MUST FEEL SO NICE your head went bzz bzz. how long did it take for them to accept it? and yeah god ikr some people take hair so seriously which is fair but also i’ve never understood it... like it grows out..? wow you really went from a ballet girl to punk rock style huh. i feel like you’re the both sides of the ‘she was a punk she did ballet’ meme.

memo fic is a jealous fic? mmm smells good. I FIGURED jshdjdkhsjs slow songs are just not your forte, huh? rip. langst is the best yet worst thing ever tbh. and YEAH I DO we’re truly 🤝 ok literally mood sometimes it’s just nice to talk about how much you love a character through another character in a fic yk? so what if this 2k fic contains 1k words about how beautiful oikawa looks? it’s what iwa feels <3 (YOU’RE LEARNING!!!!!!! THATS SO EXCITING!! i guess you just have to drive me around, huh?)

oh i’m in love i’m with that fic my girl. and i knew about that spoiler it’s kind of hard to miss it since it’s everywhere skdhdkdhdk... god, that sounds so good thank you for sharing it. pining iwaizumi hajime >>>>>>>> the air i need to exist 🥺

THE DAY IS SO SOON CLUNA, it’s literally here soooo soon holy shit i just can’t wait. i played for almost 6 hours today in a row like an idiot and now i never wanna see hilichurls again in my life but hey, one step closer to my baby. prepare yourself.. 😏

AWWW i had a feeling you’d be a tea person. but omg tea effects your sleep? how late is too late for you to drink it? what’s your favorite flavors? 👁 and i’m addicted to both shdkdhsks. i say addicted bc i literally have 6 cups of tea per day easily and like.. 1 or 2 coffee cups per day. it’s really bad but i can’t stop so.. 🙇🏽‍♀️

COLLEGE BOYFIES CLUNA. COLLEGE BOYFIES WITH DIP DYE HAIR. imagine them doing each other’s make up and nails before going to concerts together. imagine xiao in euphoria kind of make up. holy shit. here’s something for your overwhelmed heart jsdhjshska. xiaoven soulmates girl, no doubt about it. THE EDIT THE EDIT THE EDIT!!!! they just look so beautiful. we need scenes with them like Asap. the edit is based on a fic... notes down.

can’t wait to see your screenshots. super excited!!

xo, m.a. (i almost wrote my name down in a haste shshskdjdk... although you’ll find it out soon...)

hiya!! i slept alright~ ahaha

:o that’s smart! but no i don’t LOL whether i’m on my phone or my laptop i just continuously scroll up and down fhdskjfkhsdf i think that’s why i come close to missing some paragraphs some times oops. yay for the ~wonders of technology~

(AIGHT NICE AHAHHA fhsdkjfsh does that mean you’re a bit of a tomboy?) actually coincidentally i came across this thread: https://twitter.com/maxatsuomi/status/1350145589296685057 which gives you an idea lmao (also some things on there i wasn’t even aware of wtf) EXACTLY??? it’s even worse when non content creators try to come for content creators like?????????/ um you’re getting all this food for FREE and yet?????? lmfao the nerve of some people

i def will!! FKJSHFDSKJ yeah that do be their dynamic lolol. and thank you!! i too think i snapped on that one 😩😩 glad others agree ahahah

i actually haven’t really seen him in combat... and when we could trial him i was too busy trying to pass the quests to focus on how he fought fhdkfhsdkfjshf but i do think his abilities are cool!! he have wolf above head 🥺

YEAHHH BOYEEEEEEEEEEE god that reminds me of a scene from a drarry fic (What We Pretend We Can't See wink wonk)

oh damn!! hope they restock soon for your sake~ yissss ive watched a playthrough and omg lev.... my Son. i don’t think i can find the memes again but it was just about the bugs like how if you throw a grenade on the highway everyone will run out of their cars like a flashmob or something hfskfhsdjfkds. (LMAOOOOO) there’s actually a trailer with the other worlds! https://youtu.be/TAlKhARUcoY (it has spoilers tho supposedly lol. none we understand rn at least)

hdsfkhjs. omg you absolute legend!!!! but i also hope that you’re taking care of yourself and prioritising the important things too fhsfhdksdhf. but i am excited hehehehehe

AHHAAHKFHDSKJFSD pls... once i saw someone with an actual proper mullet on the bus and i was like “ew... keith would look like this irl?” FJSDHKFSAHKDASHDFSDJFKJFDSHFKJS. but what can i say i got influenced by all the kpop bois 😔 and hmmm idk? i think my dad didn’t care too much but ik my mum did/does fhsfskfsdfhkf so who knows lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. IT REALLY DOES GROW OUT LMAO LIKE. fhkshkfsdkj my cousin called me a rockstar when she saw it LOL so you’re prob right 🤪

yeah slow songs really just. aren’t LMAO ‘behind this mask of mine’ was based on a slow bts song and i put it in the playlist i had for it (bc obviously) but i wanted to skip it every time hfksjdhfskjdfhskfdkfhkslfhadksfjsdjhfkashkfjsdh. EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! you are so correct. (hehehe i was gonna say that too that you don’t need to drive bc it’ll take you around 😏 LMAO)

fhkdsj thank!! legit pining iwa.......... more like pining ME mayhaps i just be self projecting 🤪🤪

lolol dw i can fight the hilichurls for you 😩 also who’s your fave enemy to fight! i used to like fighting the treasure hoarders most but the hilichurls are cute.. FHSKJDHFSDFKJSD plus i need their fucking masks my god why are their drop rates so shit hfsdhjfks

i’m not too sure actually? i’ve never been up early enough to test it but i like drinking tea like after dinner... which is the problem AHAHA. hmm well i like matcha a lot LOL but also chai? and then like black tea.... all the other ones too... i used to drink some fruity ones which were nice but we have a lot of the like basic chinese ones at home too and i enjoy those as well lol. wbu?? omg.... m.a........... dfhksdfkjhfkjshfksjd that’s a lot!!!!!!! do you even need to drink water then HKDSJFHKSDFHDKDSHFJKSDH

omg............. ive never seen euphoria LOL but ............. omg ...................... i cannot process thoughts rn.....

xoxo!! c.r. (you mean bc we’ll be playing co-op? you don’t have to if you’re uncomfy fhdskjf my genshin name was literally ‘aether’ up until yesterday FHDFHSDKFSDFJSHFKSDF)

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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i'd like to hear about your resentment and distrust of tom hanks

i’ve been trying to think of how i could answer in a funny enough way lmfao i’m always too close to [getting genuinely annoyed] and just not good at writing anything, i am here to use too many words and go off on tangents.........you’d think it’d be slightly easier to be Humorous about it b/c tom hanks is really on the low-tier of my celebrity [haters list]......i don’t know much about him and i’m not that serious about my ire for him. low stakes. sort of like alex trebek.

probably the primary factors here are “i never see a lot of shit and like [whatever actor or franchise or anything else] is rarely like, oh this is Longtime Beloved Whatever to me,” also i’m easily annoyed, and also god knows i’m always like so averse to Wholesomeness lmfaooo

you know how tom hanks has the whole brand as like, the safely likeable hero by now lol, well the first time i really remember ever taking specific note of tom hanks was eons ago when whatever film got thrown out where he’s our hero and those nefarious Somalian Pirates push him around and i’m seeing these trailers like, our marketing strategy is just racism huh????? like prior to this i dont know that id ever actually watched anything w/ tom hanks but say toy story a couple times, im neutral on him but now my first like particular association makes his “america’s wholesome dad” image totally un-neutral lmao like get out of here with that, every time i’m just made to remember the shittiest use of it. for another thing i’m not gonna enjoy anyone’s Dad energy lol 9/10 dads line up to get beat up in a parking lot please! or get out of here. plus he’s an actual dad? cringe af

i resent all that and i distrust like, Universally Beloved Perfectly Harmless lmao.......there’s this nuance where like. if you someone who Acts Nice to people that’s whatevs. but when it’s like, oh this is So Genuine, this is Not An Act, this person just isn’t even choosing to be kind and likeable b/c they simply Are so inherently purely wholesome and i’m like, fuck off with that lmfao!!! i don’t know much about tom hanks and would choose to keep it that way and i know he’s Known for being nice but i feel like he is also reasonably in the Acting Nice As A Choice And You’re Not Really Meant to Think He’s Just Pure And Wholesome category, but like, i Can and Will start to pettily dislike people when Everyone Else starts to construct this concept of this like soft bean celeb who is pure and so objectively likeable and that’s all totally Genuine.......afaik there’s no big Tom Hanks Stans content activity that any of us would have to try to evade. ooh here we go the tldr feels like i don’t like whenever the concept of some person being [genuinely harmless] is out there lmfao. it’s a lot worse when someone’s trying to put it out there Themself and i at least get the idea that this is more of the Persona that other people have put uponst tom the hanks engine but i will still slightly distrust it.

total sidenote but the other way that [wholesomeness] really rankles me, essentially unrelated here, is when it’s got that ~juxtaposition~ where it’s like oh check out this cute soft content BUT WAIT.......what if there was the f-word also, or talking about Sex, or otherwise ~edgier~ or Mature content!!!! sure would be a shame if this was like 90% of the shtick.............like don’t try to tell me how to react to your content. don’t put the painfully cutesy music over an Playing-Around Animal vid, i will be the judge of whether it’s adorable or not, i don’t need you to cue me in with a xylophone or something. just like i don’t need you attempting to blow my mind by dropping “fuck” or “penis” in the next-to-last line of the first verse of your song even though you are entirely gently playing the ukulele, holy fucking shit right.......no [comic w/ like pbs-kids-esque character design but for grown up people who aa] will go like two strips without starting to grate on me like hell lmao i Will be a killjoy and a hater.....not on my watch. not today. not in my content feeds. that’s a tangential gripe

and as a postscript the podcast that i thought was going to be ironically anti-hanks but which instead disappoints me with regular disclaimers that it’s not anti-hanks at all is called dead eyes. i mention it because ive continued to listen anyways b/c i thought the host was kinda funny and i’m biased now towards nasal-voiced not-super-Known actors, which he is. except then also in the weeks since it debuted i started to see a good handful of disparate sources recommending it also. i feel like i don’t 100% *get* what the show is even now lol, but i do like, enjoy listening to it enough that i still listened to an ep just two days ago, so idk. it’s Out There. and i guess if you *like* tom hanks it’s also like, got some indirect content for all the hankies of the world? or something.

#was gonna give it a shot answering this as soon as i saw Tom Hanks Has Covid-19 Now lmfao #but i was bingeing this totally different Nonfiction Podcast #and it ft. a loooot of interviews of this clearly really shitty guy #who was like. definitely always trying to cast himself as blameless and was very much always putting on this Act yet trying to make it seem #like the scummy creep guy version of it lol. he loved to oscillate between getting all confrontational and like #then putting on this ''nahhh cmaannn'' sort of act like he's all ~being real with you~ when he obviously isn't and is just trying to be a ma #he was at least in the category of like....a guy who maybe doesn't quiiiite have peak self awareness re the shit that he's pulling constantl #not like it really Matters but it feels like when ppl very much Are aware of it they just inherently have even more control / strategy about #anyways he was a supremely annoying creep & i was Freshly Worked Up about how much i hated him and people who act like that lmfao #like i Cannot answer this question like this...i'm too close to the [actually pissed off] zone even though what im pissed abt is tangential #cuz like there's times there'll be like check out this content of this A-lister being so relatably Genuinely Harmlessly awkward in a totally #and i'm like. i don't like this vibe actually. and it doesn't seem genuine to me but does kinda seem like they're Trying to seem genuine #and that's what i don't trust and then they turn out to be some degree of Asshole &/or Actual Creep & it's like [...]#so i was like i gotta simmer down abt this and even then i know i won't manage to give an adequately humorous response lmao....#coz my beef with hanks is very low stakes and not the most earnest tier in my Haters Zone ranking lol #it's like how i enjoy knowing there's this guy who just crank called alex trebek with a fake Delivery of like a freighter of Sod #kept up the act for like. a good half an hour / several phone calls. that's pretty proportional to the irritation he inspires in me #nothingunrealistic1

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