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erwinsvow · 3 years

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𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

summary: zeke knows it’s wrong. you know it’s wrong. yet something always brings you back to your step-dad when your mom’s not around.

warnings: step-cest, manipulation, infidelity, mommy issues, zeke is the devil incarnate and reader is an angel (figuratively.. for now), oral sex (f receiving), fingering, dacryphilia, daddy kink, praise kink, rough sex, creampie, you've been warned!

author's note: lord knows how long i've been thinking about this one. zeke fuckers, this one is for you. tagging @colossalnova ! hope everyone likes it!

“It must be so nice to have such a good daughter to take care of you,” Mr. Ksaver comments without a second thought, as you head towards the kitchen to get two cups of coffee for Zeke and his friend. Your lips turn up into a pleased smile as soon as you hear the words, delighted with the praise from someone so close to your step-father.

Zeke makes an effort to hide the smirk that comes to him so naturally, because if only Mr. Ksaver knew just how good of a daughter you were for him. But that’s a conversation for another day, he finally decides, turning back to his guest with a smile.

“Step-daughter,” he corrects with the most genuine look he can muster. He could fool a priest with that aura of ingenuity that he gives off without any effort, because after all, that’s how he had gotten you into this position in the first place.

Mr. Ksaver beams back at him, his close friend still completely in the dark.

“Oh, of course, but you two could fool anyone. Say, where’s your wife? I haven’t seen her in a while..” Tom trails off, and Zeke is glad for it. He doesn’t like talking about your mother, his new wife, if he can help it. Business trips and commitments at the salon kept much of her time occupied, leaving only brief interactions with you two, her so-called family. It didn’t take long for him to realize she had been this way most of your life, an absent parental figure since the departure of your father. As cruel as it was, he could easily see why you were the way you were.

Zeke thought you were a lot of things. Pretty was at the top of the list, along with innocent and insecure, but the biggest quality he could see in you, the one that just screamed out at him ever since that first time he had laid eyes on you, was people-pleaser.

It was so apparent in everything you did, from the modest way you dressed to the try-hard behavior you exhibited with teachers and your friends’ parents. He recognized quickly it was because your mother didn’t acknowledge any of it, not the dinners you made for the three of you or the sweet, thoughtful gifts and flowers on special occasions.

It was actually on Mother’s Day the previous year when he had been able to get you alone for the first time. The then-new Mrs. Yeager had booked a full day at the spa as a treat for herself, even though she barely had an ounce of motherly qualities in her body. She had tossed aside the bouquet you had gifted her with, skimmed the card with your sweet, handwritten note, and rolled her eyes at your own watery ones after seeing just how little she cared about this holiday that was meant for you both to celebrate.

After she had left, Zeke had knocked on your door tentatively. It was wrong of him to be as gleeful as he was on the inside, but he’d been waiting for a moment like this for the last several months. He even let twenty minutes pass before coming up to your room to make sure he would get you teary-eyed and upset, just how he wanted.

Any other girl might have told her new step-father to fuck right off, given that he had done nothing to defend you or ask your mother to be kinder towards you, but not you. Ever the people-pleaser, you wiped away your tears with the sleeves of the cardigan you’d been wearing all day, fixed yourself from the position you had been in while weeping on your bed, and told him to come in.

Zeke was fucked the minute he saw you sitting there, dressed purely like an angel in a sundress that had ridden up in your distress and with tear-lidden eyelashes blinking slowly at him. The redness of your nose and cheeks, mixed with how your hair was just a little messed up and your hiccuping whimpers painted an entirely different picture for him. At first, it had just been a game, just to see how long it would take him to seduce his new wife’s daughter, but now it was something else altogether.

But it’s the first sentence you say to him, alone in the house without your wretched mother for the first time, that breaks him.

“S-Sorry Zeke. I didn’t want to eat after that, but I can go get everything ready again for you.” For him. Your mother’s cold behavior had you crying your eyes out before noon, and yet you were still concerned about the lunch you had prepared and if he wanted to eat.

It made his heart burn in a lecherous way, with thoughts in his head about why he hadn’t married you instead of her.

“That’s okay, honey, don’t worry about me. I came to check up on you.” He’s holding up the facade well, he thinks, closing the door gently behind him and hearing the click of the latch. He’s only been in your room a handful of times, and for most of those occasions, you hadn’t been there, so he couldn’t act too comfortable. His eyes roamed around the space, taking in the sweet scent of your perfume that lingered on every object and shoving his hands into his pockets to seem as unassuming as possible.

You wipe away a stray tear, blinking quickly and looking back at him with big eyes. Damn your eyes, honestly, because he knows he doesn’t stand a chance against them, especially when they’re so watery like that.

“Check up on me?” you let out in a soft voice. It’s adorable, honestly, how you think your new step-father would be just like your mother and not care about you at all. You’re not used to this kind of affection from anyone besides your friends from school, and even they don’t know about the reality of your home life. You don’t know what it’s like to have a parent check up on you, to have them want to make sure you’re okay, and suddenly you can feel your face burning with heat at the realization that you and Zeke are all alone in your bedroom.

Zeke is handsome according to anyone’s standards, but for some reason, you can never tear your eyes away from him when he doesn’t know you’re looking. He’s old enough to be your father—your real father, that is—but that doesn’t stop you. You always find yourself staring at his golden locks that shine especially bright when he’s in the sun after his daily run, when you’re watering your garden and your mother isn’t home from work yet. Or when he’s just left the shower and every part of his body is dripping wet, walking back to his bedroom and you catch a glimpse through your open door.

It’s easy to think of him as off-limits, though, since you would never hurt your mother like that. She doesn’t show you affection, or care about you like how your friends’ mothers care for them, but she’s still your mom. Nothing would ever justify betraying her like this, by having these illicit thoughts about your step-father. So you make sure you stop staring, avoid being alone with him as much as you can and create excuses to get out of spending time with him, but you don’t think any of that is really working.

Because now, with Zeke in your bedroom and the sleeves of your cardigan wet with far too many tears, you don’t really care if this is wrong. All you care about is how Zeke is inching closer to your bed with every step.

“Yeah, sweetheart, I wanted to make sure you were okay after all that. It’s not easy, I know,” he says in such a soothing tone that you feel yourself getting lost in the daze of it.

“You know?” you question again, wondering if Zeke could really relate to you. You had always felt like such an outcast, the poor girl nobody loved or wanted, without any love in her life at all.

“Uh-huh, I know. I really hate that your mother won’t treat you better, but you know her, she’s not gonna change,” he watches your nodding face and resigned expression. “Can I-?” he motions to the space next to you on the bed.

“Oh, sure, please,” you say quickly, moving yourself over a bit and making room for him, dress exposing even more of the soft skin of your legs now. He tries not to stare, and every part of him wants to put a hand on your thigh and stroke softly, but he doesn’t want to scare you off. Not yet. He’ll take his time.

“Thank you for saying that.” Your voice is so quiet he almost doesn’t hear it.

“Of course. I mean, you are my daughter now, aren’t you?” He’s pushing his luck, but oh well. “I guess… it’s sort of my responsibility to take care of you, right?”

He sees your eyes widen a little, probably a million thoughts running through your little head. You’re so used to being alone, not having anyone’s affection, that a few simple words from Zeke have you fucked. Probably feeling the same way he is in this moment, eager and affectionate and ready. You find yourself nodding at his sweet words.

Any other day, you might have doubted the sincerity of what he was feeding you, but your mind was already a little fuzzy from the interaction with your mother. You still don’t know why you had gotten your hopes up so much, when it always led to disappointment in the end. You wish you could go back and warn yourself not to expect so much from your mother, who was almost as absent a parental figure as your father.

In that moment, Zeke’s kind words and welcoming arms didn’t seem so bad. You could only imagine that he felt the same way you did, as you doubted your mother was being a good wife to him from the interactions you observed.

“I…” you begin, but trail off when you notice the way Zeke’s eyes are looking at you. You almost instinctively lean back and away from him, like a lamb avoiding a predator, when you focus on how he’s much too close to you.

You’re entirely overwhelmed by his piercing, concerned gaze and the uncomfortable heat you feel between your thighs—your throat runs dry and you know it’s not from the crying. You think he must notice it too, with the way he leans forward, one more movement from him and you’d be trapped between Zeke’s broad figure and your bed.

He supposes that was the make-or-break moment in this little dalliance between you two. In that moment, had you been uncertain or asked him to leave, he would have listened to you and likely never bothered you again. All the same, he knew you wouldn’t.

You look back fondly on that Mother’s Day, the day you gave yourself over to Zeke without the slightest bit of regret. Your mother had returned home later that night, with nails and hair freshly done, acting as though there could have been no better way to spend Mother’s Day. She walked right past you sitting on the couch with Zeke, ignoring his tousled hair and your swollen lips.

Since then, it had been a fun sort of game. You felt guilty, of course, but nothing could compare to the thrill of the secret you had with Zeke, just for you two and no one else. He was more adventurous than you, always sneaking kisses and lingering touches when your mother was just a room away, fucking you roughly with a hand clasped over your mouth while she was on a conference call in her office down the hall.

Over time, you felt yourself becoming adventurous too. You had never done anything like this before, anything remotely bad or wrong, and it was safe to say that you were sinking further and further into the pit of corruption that Zeke had created.

Which is how you ended up here today.

You brought back two steaming cups of coffee on a platter to the living room, setting them down and mixing in cream and sugar for Zeke’s. You hand the cup to him with a sweet smile, and he takes a sip contentedly.

“Just perfect, like always.” The praise makes you smile widely, cheeks feeling warm despite the fact that you had a guest.

“How do you take your coffee, Mr. Ksaver?” you ask politely, as the elderly man laughs and takes the cup into his hand.

“Just plain black, thank you. I never had a taste for sweet things, like Zeke does.” If only he knew.

You smile again and bid goodbye, taking the tray with you as you leave and heading back to your room. You knew Zeke would be up as soon as he was done, since your mother was still out and you had precious time together, all alone.

As soon as you heard the front door close, and the sound of ignition starting from outside your window, you were alert. You could hear Zeke’s footsteps coming up the staircase, eagerly anticipating him this time.

He doesn’t knock anymore, letting himself in and closing the door gently behind him, as always. You hear the lock click quietly.

“Daddy,” you mumble from your place on your bed. You’re lying against the pillows now, fully on display for him in his favorite dress and already wet at the thought of what he would do to you once he got you alone.

“Yes, honey?” He says, in a tone that’s sincere and mocking at the same time. He’s still by the door, not coming in further like you want him to. He wants you to use your words.

“You said once we were alone..”

“Once we were alone, what? That I’d play with you?” You nod dumbly at his words. He inches closer to you, but still entirely too far away for your liking.

“I want you, Daddy. We only have a little bit before she gets back,” and you know you’re in for it now.

“Oh, is that so? We only have a little time?” Before you can process it, Zeke is hovering above you, a firm hand on your wetness teasing you and making you cry out at the sudden pressure. His hand moves slowly, just barely grazing your clothed clit and you whimper. “Let me tell you something, baby,” he whispers right next to your ear. “I’ll take as much time with you as I want, no matter who else is in this house. You got that?”

You let out a strangled moan at his words, knowing the effect they have on you and the uncomfortable wetness between your legs becoming even more prominent. You could swear that he can see how wet you are, even with your panties still on, and you desperately jerk up onto his hand to get some, any, contact.

“D-daddy, please! I-” you break off into another moan as he rubs your clit firmly. You’re not even sure when he took your panties off, but you can feel two of his fingers prodding at your slit, just waiting as he continues his work.

“Does that feel good, baby? Use your words,” he says, teasing you despite how badly you want him to stop and just be inside you already. Another strange feeling bubbles in your chest, knowing that your mother would be home soon and could be pulling into the driveway right now. You can hardly focus on those thoughts though, letting out a loud squeal when Zeke pushes two fingers into your soaking wetness, stopping at his knuckles.

“Oh god, Daddy, that feels so good, please, please keep going-” the rest of your words disappear as he pushes his thick fingers completely in, marveling at the way you’re so stretched out around them.

“Good girl, baby, you’re doing so well.” You keen at the praise, moaning loudly as he continues fingering you, scissoring his digits inside you and getting you prepared for his cock. He knows he’s on a time limit too, but he’ll be damned if he lets that rush him. No, he needs to take his time with you.

Every time he feels the tightness of your hole, it takes him back to that first time, and he refuses to hurry up.

His thumb rubbing circles on your clit as he pumps his fingers in and out quickly, filling the room with a lewd squelching noise, have you seeing stars before long. Every time Zeke touches you, you wonder how you went so long without it. Your own actions when you touch yourself are nothing compared to his anymore. He’s got you so dependent on him, so reliant that you barely want to cum by yourself anymore.

He slows his actions just for a second, just to pull down the front of your sundress and reveal your tits to him. Zeke increases his speed as he latches his mouth around your hardening nipple, flicking with his tongue and taking the pebbled bud between his teeth, tugging slightly and making you cry out as it suddenly becomes too much to handle.

You’re succumbing to the orgasm before you even know it, waves of pleasure washing over your body as the knot in your stomach finally releases and fills your core with heat.

“Good girl, baby, cum for Daddy now,” he says from his place on your chest.

“Daddy! Daddy, I-! Oh!” You know how pathetic you must sound, screaming and moaning helplessly as Zeke doesn’t let up on his actions. You finally put your hand on top of his and make him look up, into your eyes, and press his lips to yours.

A sloppy, hot kiss in the aftermath of your orgasm has you shaking under his grip, entire body feeling hot and sweaty. He pushes his fingers, slick with your wetness, to your lips and you open without any request for him, sucking and rolling your tongue over the digits until they’re all clean.

“Good girl,” he breathes into your neck, whether he places more sloppy kisses. “You ready for Daddy to fuck you?”

You nod meekly, moaning loudly as you feel Zeke align himself with your slit, and letting out a high-pitched squeal when he pushes himself into you entirely. You choke on your breath at the sudden feeling of fullness, completely ignoring the way Zeke’s focus seems to be on something else.

Perfect timing, he thinks to himself, hearing the car pull into the driveway and knowing his dear wife had arrived home. He was too deep inside of you to care, though.

Zeke pulled his hips back slowly, wanting you to feel every inch of him, and then slammed them down harshly. For every motion of his hips, you released a loud, obscene moan, babbling on without making any sense at all as Zeke fucked you.

All you could process were Zeke’s reassuring praises, calling you a good girl as he continued at a brutal pace, fucking you so hard you couldn’t figure out where you stopped and he began.

He picked up the pace and the angle of his cock stretched you out so perfectly, he was hitting against your clit with every thrust and you could swear you were seeing stars again, so close to the edge and screaming out for him, when he clasps a hand over your mouth quickly.

You reacted with a jolt, unsure of why he suddenly silenced you when he placed a kiss right next to your ear, whispering quietly.

“Looks like she’s home. Be quiet for Daddy, okay, baby?” Your eyes widen in panic, flustered with shame and another feeling you can’t put together when Zeke goes back to his quick pace, fucking you rapidly and giving your clit the contact you so desperately needed. You cum again with a stifled, broken noise leaving your mouth and your body jerking up against his, the hand that wasn’t covering your mouth holding you down in place. You feel yourself clench down on his cock, as he rides you through it, thrusting in and out and doing nothing to stop the vulgar noises that fill the room.

You can hear it now—the steps of your mother coming into the house, and probably up the stairs to her office soon enough. Your heavy breathing coupled with Zeke’s grunts are the only sound left as his hips stutter and you feel hot ropes of cum shoot inside you, filling you up. Zeke finally comes to a halt, pressing a kiss to your lips as you hear your mother walk right outside your door, talking to someone on the phone.

Your panicked eyes meet his perfectly calm ones, a devilish smirk playing at his lips as you hear the steps halt and then continue again, walking by your room as though you didn’t even exist.

You release a sigh, Zeke pressing another kiss to you that you return eagerly.

“Good girl. Now clean up while Daddy goes and deals with her.”

You feel suddenly emptier, lighter as Zeke lifts his weight off of you and adjusts his clothes. You sit back up slowly, careful to not make an even bigger mess and ruin your dress, as Zeke grabs your panties off the floor and hands them to you with a smile. You pull them up, fixing your dress and realizing that you need to run a brush through your hair before you see your mother again.

Zeke unlocks the door and leaves with one last smile gracing his face, as you sit up and feel remnants of your encounter inside you.

Moments later, your mother walks by and glances at your open door, which was locked before. She pushes it open, taking a look at you on the bed. You’re certain you look like a mess, hair disheveled and sweat on your body, with limbs feeling like jelly.

“Hi, mom,” you greet, with the most false enthusiasm you can muster. “What is it?” She looks at you coldly, almost as if she knew something was going on and couldn’t quite place it.

“Clean yourself up, honey, Uncle Eren is coming over for the weekend.”

#zeke yeager #zeke jaeger #zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager smut #zeke yeager imagine #zeke x reader #zeke smut #zeke jaeger smut #zeke jaeger x reader #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot smut #fics #tw stepcest

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roger-that-cap · 3 years

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peace

natasha romanoff x fem!reader

summary: natasha wanted to marry you more than she wanted everything, but how was she supposed to propose to you and ask you to be hers forever when she couldn’t give you even the simplest of things?

warnings: so this is minimal angst, don’t be fooled, this is fluff, ya know the drill. this may or may not be cheesy, but i tried

word count: 6.4k, short and sweet

so, i listened to peace by taylor swift while i wrote this one. take that information how you wish lollll. also, not edited!

Natasha met you years ago. You were the bright eyed girl at the front counter of an ice cream shop near the tower, soft serve shop. Natasha, ever the reader of mankind, immediately knew that you were kind, patient and simply sweet. Sweeter than the vanilla cone she had treated herself to, the one that you had made yourself because your coworkers were on an extra long break that wasn’t exactly authorized.

You knew who she was, but you didn’t ask her for anything. No autograph, no murmuring of a catchphrase, nothing about whether or not Captain America would be into you. Natasha admired that. She loved that she saw the flash of excitement and recognition in your eyes, but that it never went further than you asking her if she wanted sprinkles.

That one encounter led to many more. Soon, you two were on a date, after you had been brave enough to ask if she wanted to go on a picnic in the park after she kept coming into the store. And that one date was enough for you both to know that you wanted to see each other again, and again, and again.

You and Natasha spent two months dating each other before making it official, and it was the best decision either of you had ever made.

You made her feel like she was needed and loved, and she made you feel like you were cherished and safe. The feeling that you got when you looked at her was just so… natural. You weren’t worried about angering her, or about messing up in front of her. She made you feel calm, and one look at her washed all the jitters out of your nerves easily.

And in return, there was no one on the entire planet that made Natasha as happy as you did. You were the one, and it was almost over night when she realized that you were it.

One night, she was in bed next to you after a long day of training recruits and having a briefing for an upcoming mission. She had only been in your apartment for about twenty minutes, just lying in your gentle and welcoming arms, and she was fighting the urge to nod off where she felt safest. She was tired, but she knew one thing above everything else, and it was that she wasn’t going to waste an entire night with you because she wanted to sleep.

“You don’t have to stay awake, sprinkles.” You said to her in the dark room, your hand smoothing her hair. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day.” Maybe that’s when Natasha should have noticed. When the urge to talk to you was stronger than the drive that she had while training recruits, or when she nearly forgot that she couldn’t go home early because of how much she was just ready to.

“I won’t be upset, you work hard,” you said softly. “You deserve some peace and quiet. Sleep, I’ve got you.”

Natasha did a few things for the first time in a long time that night.

One: she felt at peace enough to fall asleep immediately.

Two: she went to sleep with the sound of someone humming in her ear.

Three: she realized that she was completely in love with her girlfriend.

There were plenty of times that hinted to her that she was falling in love. She looked for you or an essence of you everywhere, from seeing something the color of your eyes to looking over at your favorite brand of yogurt in the grocery store and contemplating buying it. Whenever you smiled, she couldn’t help but grin twice as big. If you laughed, she was happy. When you were upset, she wanted nothing more than to make it better, than to eliminate whatever it had been that made you feel that way. She would do anything for you. And she really believed that you would do anything for her right back.

Your relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was damn near it. It was the thing Natasha was most proud of, just like you were the person that Natasha was proudest of to call hers. And she wanted that. She wanted you to be hers for the rest of your life, and she wanted nothing more than to be officially yours.

And that was why she stood in a high end jewelry store that specialized in special rings, closed for two hours from the public just for her. And Tony and Steve, who desperately wanted to tag along.

Tony was more of the planner and the doer. He was the one pointing out the rings that seemed pretty, the ones that looked like they would fit your style. He was the businessman, ready to negotiate price even though he could easily afford the entire store ten times over. Steve, however, was the mother hen. Hovering mostly silently, an excited buzz flowing out and touching everyone else in the vicinity. He was excited for Natasha, it was obvious, and he also wanted to make her feel as comfortable and ready as possible.

“That one’s pretty, isn’t it?” Tony muttered, pointing towards an intricate ring with a diamond in the middle of the studded band. “Y/N likes stuff like that.”

“No she doesn’t,” Steve cut in, and he pointed to a ring that was quite literally the opposite of the one Tony was referring to. It was a simple ring, one with a silver band and a decently sized diamond in the middle. It was clearly an engagement ring, but it wasn’t flashy. “That one is probably closer to what she’d like.”

Everyone in the tower knew you well. Natasha made sure that you knew her friends well when you two started to get really involved. You introduced her to your siblings and parents, and she let you meet her own family, the Avengers. Natasha remembered the day that you met everyone vividly. Everyone had loved you immediately, and she was so proud of the way that you handled yourself while being so nervous. Hell, she was always proud of you.

You made fast and sturdy friendships with everyone and fit in well, and that was all Natasha could ever ask for. Eventually, she started to bring you over at least once a week just to hang out with everyone, to get you familiar with every member of her found family.

Perhaps that was another sign that she should have taken and read. She had never introduced a significant other to the family that she cherished so much, not once before you.

“Steve’s right,” Natasha murmured, and she heard Tony’s playful scoff. “But I have no idea when I’m going to actually do it.”

“You don’t have a trip planned?” Tony asked incredulously. “Well, I can schedule anything you want, whenever you want. Just ask me.”

Natasha knew exactly what Tony was referring to. He had gone above and beyond for every romantic gesture that was ever for Pepper, and Natasha knew that your relationship wasn’t like that. You didn’t need grand gestures or long trips to beaches. The both of you were happier than ever just being with each other. She knew that you would cry in the middle of a Wendy’s if she popped the question there and held her hand patiently waiting for the ring. The location mattered the least.

“We probably won’t do a trip, that’ll make it obvious.” There was one thing that Natasha was very picky about that had to do with the whole affair, and that was surprise. She wanted you to be the most pleasantly surprised you had ever been in your life, and she wanted to watch those beautiful eyes of yours light up and start to water in the most joyous of ways. She wanted the cheesy hand-over-heart move, the hand grabbing, the excited chatter of a small gathering of random people looking. And most of all, she wanted to hear your elated yes and she wanted to slip the ring onto your ring finger, and she never wanted to see it off from that moment on.

But that was just her.

Natasha, Steve, and Tony spent another hour in the jewelry store. The owner was buzzing around, clearly excited for the amount of business that their presence was sure to rope in. He took a picture of them and promised not to release it until Natasha proposed, even though he was quite literally bursting at the seams to brag about it. In the end, Natasha ended up getting a pretty ring with a silver band and a nice sized diamond, simple and just your type.

They were on their way out when Tony spotted paparazzi. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. “Okay, I’ll go first to lead them away.”

“Why?”

“If Y/N sees you on a tabloid at a ring shop with me and Steve… the surprise is up.” Tony made a clicking noise with his tongue and left without anything else to say, strolling out and indeed leading all of the people with cameras away from the shop, all of them entranced by the billionaire.

To be safe, Natasha and Steve waited for a few more minutes before walking out and getting jumbled in with the crowd. Her grip on the bag was tight, and she was holding the box in her hand through it. So, are you excited?”

“Not as excited as you,” she teased, but even she could hear the nerves in her voice. “I just don’t wanna ruin anything.”

“Please,” Steve scoffed. “Y/N is so in love with you that I forget that you two aren’t already married, honestly.”

Steve saying it aloud made Natasha’s heart race, even though she already knew that. That was one of the million wonderful qualities about you. She never had to ask you for validation, because you told her with everything you did. You tapped her hand three times at parties. You whispered it into her ear before you both went to sleep. You kissed her cheek or her jaw when she started to get antsy, and rubbed her back while you did it. Every touch, every kiss, every breath that the both of you took told the other that you loved them. There was no question about that.

“So, what are you worried about? She’ll say yes. Everyone knows that.”

If only Steve knew that it was so much more than you saying a three letter word instead of a two letter one.

They walked back in silence to the tower, comfortable silence between two friends who were both deep in their own heads even as they swiped their clearance cards and went into the elevator.

§§

Natasha always felt bad when she lied to you, no matter how small or white the lie was. One day, it was small and for the both of you, but it still didn’t smooth the guilt.

She had told you that she had a late night meeting, top secret, and that she would call you when you could come up in her room. “So, that’s the plan.”

“You’re gonna pop the question of your lives in the park?” Tony asked, a brow quirked upwards. “Well, to each their own.”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “That’s a really sweet idea, Nat. Tony, here, is just annoying.”

“Thank you, Wanda.” Natasha said, and then turned to the billionaire. “So, what would you do, then?”

“I would go on a crui-”

“Yeah, I’m thinking Nat wants a more casual approach,” Sam said, giving Tony a once over. “So the park would be great.”

“I know,” she said absentmindedly, thoughts already on the next hour, where she would be on the couch in her quarters with you, watching one of your favorite shows together.

“We’re still allowed to come, right?” Wanda asked, gently bringing Natasha out of her thoughts.

“Of course.” That was another thing she really wanted. Her family had to see everything happen first hand, that was non negotiable. “Just lurk in the shadows, she’ll know what's happening if she sees all of you.”

That night, she left the tower to go to your apartment rather than just have you come over and swipe your card that Tony had made you. She figured that the less people around that knew about the proposal, the less likely it was that someone was going to spoil it.

She wasn’t an idiot. Weddings were special to you. Hell, when you were younger, you used to want to be a wedding planner. Natasha knew that a goal in your life was to be loved by someone so much that they wanted to spend their life with you, and luckily, the both of you found that in each other.

“Baby,” Natasha called when she stepped through the threshold of your apartment, her ears already pricked up as she heard the television coming from the room that you had moved half of her belongings into. She smiled as she walked closer, purposely making her footfalls a little louder so that she didn’t startle you.

You were smiling at her when she opened the door to the bedroom, and Natasha felt her heart stutter for a second as she caught her bearings. “Hi, sprinkles. How was work?”

She would never get tired of the sound of your voice. “It was alright.” Natasha walked over to you, and you leaned into her hand, the same one that always reached for your face and cradled your cheek, her own little greeting. “You weren’t there, so.”

“Sadly I was doing soft serve,” you said, rolling your eyes at the customers you had encountered. “And one woman was particularly… not nice.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby.” Natasha said softly, pulling you closer. “At least now all you have to worry about is sitting down in time to catch your show.”

“That is my only worry,” You agreed playfully. “Come sit, I’m tired. And I know you are, too.”

§§

Natasha thought that she was going to do it as you walked through the park, on a trail that the rest of the Avengers were following you on flawlessly. She was surprised that they could keep that quiet for that long, especially Steve, with his non-stealthy physique and training. But they were doing it. In a way, it made Natasha worried out of her mind that you couldn’t feel that five people were trailing you. But she forced that part of her mind, the one that was always so overwhelmed with the need to keep you close and safe, to the back of her mind, and instead felt for the little box in her pocket.

“Oh, do you hear that bird singing?” You asked softly, trying not to disturb the peace. She watched your eyes scan the tips of the trees, watching as a smile grew on your face and planting one of her own. “I wish I could see it.”

“You go bird watching all the time,” Natasha mused at you, and you snorted a bit.

“But we never really sit down and do it together,” you said after a moment, and just like that, Natasha’s excitement was dried out. Her fingers left the box in her jacket pocket, and her hand swung at her side with the other held by your hand.

“What?”

“We just don’t do it much, ‘s all.” Like you sensed that you had said something that changed the mood of your little stroll, you turned to look at her. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

But there was. There was everything wrong with that statement. Mostly because it was one hundred percent true. The two of you didn’t have any time to bird watch or stargaze like you wanted to. And it wasn’t on your end, no, it was on her’s.

She came home late more often than not. She left early in the morning, sometimes before the sun even rose. She was sent on missions that were weeks long, sometimes even months. Sometimes, she didn’t even get to warn you or say goodbye before she had to get on a quinjet, just up and leaving and sending a text, apologizing for things she couldn’t control.

“Nat?” She hadn’t even realized that she stopped walking. But she had. Her arm was stretched out towards you because you hadn’t dropped her hand yet, and you closed the gap between the two of you with a look of concern on your face. “You okay?”

“Um, yeah.” She cleared her throat and rubbed her face with her hand, blinking a few times as the familiar guilty feeling burned in her chest like acid. “Wanna keep walking?”

For the rest of the walk, Natasha was stuck in her head. She was good at multitasking, so she indulged you and your words to the best of her ability while she thought about how terrible she felt for you. She couldn’t even take you birdwatching. And she thought that you would want to marry her?

“Are you ready to head back, darling?” Natasha asked once the sun started to finally make its retreat, and after she felt that the others had left and were far ahead of them. They knew her just as well as you did, and they knew that it wasn’t the day that she was going to ask.

“As long as it’s with you,” you murmured, and then you turned around to press your lips to hers in an innocent, binding kiss, and then pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Natasha said back just as sincerely, wrapping her arms around you and hugging you right in the trail, closing her eyes tight and waiting for the feet and doubt to subside.

It didn’t.

§§

It took two more failed attempts for Steve to finally come knocking on her door one night. The night of the third failed proposal attempt, everyone was anxious to see a ring on your finger, and everyone just wanted it to be done so that they could plan the wedding.

Natasha was not on the same page.

At first, the team was confused. Natasha’s love for you never wavered. It was as certain as the sun rising and falling, as the tide coming in and going out. It was constant, and it never faltered. So her backing out of making it official, of finally tying to knot with you, confused everyone. And then, they thought about what exactly made the change in conversation.

Wanda was the one to crack the code. She subtly picked at Natasha’s mind during the last of the failed proposals, and when she came back out into the present, she didn’t seem surprised at all.

The first thing that Wanda said when they all got back to the car was, “she doesn’t think that she’s enough.”

Doubt.

Natasha Romanoff never doubted herself. She was the best assassin in the world, capable of literally anything that she put her mind to. She had no reason to doubt herself. Until she started to work for someone else, not just for herself.

“What is she doubting?” Tony muttered, the exhaustion at watching one of the boldest people he knew dancing around a woman who clearly loved her to death. “Y/N is going to say yes. She would say it if Nat asked her on the toilet.”

“No, it’s not that,” Wanda said softly, shaking her head. “She thinks that she’s… neglecting her. That her presence isn’t often enough. She feels guilty about her job.”

Silence.

That was something many of them who had relationships dealt with. The balance between domestic life and life as an Avenger was hard to achieve. Not only did the Avenger have to know when to separate things. The Avenger also had to find someone who knew what they did, what their job entailed, and that they would both have to make sacrifices. You knew how to do those things. So what was the problem?

“Y/N takes the distance and the danger really well,” Steve stated. “So, what’s the problem?”

Wanda shrugged. “There was… there was more. But I didn’t have enough time to really see.”

While the others tried to figure out what was going on the the former assassin’s brain, Natasha was back in her room, sitting and twiddling her thumbs as she thought. Her eyes kept going back to the box, resting on it very now and then before she looked away in apprehension.

There were three knocks on her door, way too harsh and precise to be you. Besides, you hardly ever knocked, just as she never knocked on your door. “Um,” Natasha started, and then her brows furrowed as she put the ring in a drawer just in case. “Come in.”

Steve Rogers was standing at her door, arms crossed, a slightly disappointed look set on his face. “What’s up?”

Natasha raised a perfect brow. “You came to my room, Cap.” She crossed her arms as well, even though they both knew that neither was on the defensive. “Are you okay?”

“Why haven’t you done it yet?”

Her heart dropped to her toes, but she knew how to control her facial expressions. She was sure that she would never lose that skill, no matter how old she got and how much she would start to forget things. “Done what?”

Steve shut the door. “You haven’t proposed to her yet. Why not?”

“The time wasn’t right.”

“That’s a lie.”

She wasn’t used to Rogers calling her out so fast. Typically, she was an A list liar, and the only person she failed at lying to was you. She rarely ever did that, and when she did, it was for the better. Like, when she would tell you that she would be back within a few hours knowing that it would be about two nights still. Or when she would tell you that she wasn’t hurt, knowing good and well she had been bleeding out five minutes not even two minutes before she made the call.

The second lie that came to mind came flying out of her mouth. “I’m scared she’ll say no.”

Steve rolled his eyes, to Natasha’s surprise and sligh humor. “She’d find a way to say yes to you even in the afterlife, Natasha. You can’t play the lying game. Not with me, not with us, and especially not with her.”

“Why are you so worked up right now?”

“Because you deserve happiness, and it’s right there in front of you. You’re throwing it away, for what?”

“I never said that I wasn’t going to propose,” the redhead defended, but Steve just put his hands on his hips.

“I can see it in your eyes. You’re not going to unless someone pushes you, and because Y/N can’t in this situation, then I will.” His “Captain” voice was on. “It’s much more than you being worried about something that won’t ever happen, so what’s wrong, Natasha?”

Natasha stood there for a second, her eyes narrowed on him as her face stayed still, and her mind raced a thousand miles an hour. She pursed her lips after a few seconds and breathed in, trying to decide whether or not to spill everything to one of the people that she trusted the most in life, one of the few that she trusted with her very life itself. Her mouth started moving before she could even approve its speech.

“Because of who I am and what I do, I can never give her what she deserves. I can never give her the suburban life, the calm life, the one where all she has to worry about is whether or not she’ll have to go to the store to get more cheese. I can never give her that.”

“I have money, she’ll never have to worry about going hungry or not being able to do things, yes, but at what cost? At the cost of me leaving her by herself one day for forever because of one wrong step? At the cost of me not being there to hold her at night or wake up with her in the morning? I can’t even do simple things with her like stargazing because I don’t have time for it. I don’t have time for her, do you realize how horrible that is? How terrible I feel?”

Whatever Steve was expecting, it surely wasn’t that. Natasha was never one to have an outburst, even with the people she was the most comfortable with. But there she was, spilling all of the feelings she had been harboring within seconds, her eyes resting on Steve’s as they both refused to look away for more than a few seconds at a time.

“I can never give her a calm life without worry, or without pain. She’ll have to be scared about whether or not I got shot in Siberia, or if I’m rotting somewhere at the bottom of a cliff, or if I’m a prisoner halfway across the world. All I bring to the table is worry, and all I want to give her is what she gives me every second I’m with her. Peace. I want that so badly, and she deserves it more than anything. And I can’t give it to her.”

Steve was silent for a moment, and a singular moment turned into two. “Have you ever asked her what she wants?”

The question stopped Natasha’s erratic thoughts in their tracks. “What?”

“Natasha, she’s been with you for years now, and I’ve never heard her complain about your job. I’ve never even seen her cry about you being gone more than anyone else would. She knows what you do, and she knew that when she agreed to be your girlfriend. She wouldn’t have stayed with you if she couldn’t handle it.”

“How do I know she’s handling it?”

“Ask her.” Steve said softly, like he was nudging her with his words alone. “You’ll only know if you ask her.”

As she drove to your apartment that night, her mind was buzzing with nerves. “Ask her,” she mocked, making her voice deeper. “Not that easy.”

The door was open when she got there, enough to make Natasha shout your name with anxiety in her voice, and that sound was enough to make you come poking your head out from the kitchen.

“You alright, sprinkles?”

Natasha could breathe again. And when she inhaled, she smelled chicken in the air. She grinned. “Perfect now,” she said, shutting the door, locking it, and walking over to you.

§§

It hit her in bed with you that she should bring it up. You two always had conversations before bed, it didn’t matter what about. Sometimes, the conversations were as serious as a heart attack, and other times, they were about whether or not Candyland was a good game. That night, it was leaning on the more serious side.

“Y/N,” Natasha called softly, and you hummed in response. “Do you… are you happy? With me?”

The soft humming that was coming from your throat cut off abruptly at the question, a question Natasha had never asked you before. To say that you were confused was an understatement. You two had almost always been on the same page, and if one of you were to be unhappy, the other would know. “Of course I am, Natasha. Why? What’s wrong?”

“Do you think that my job complicates things between us?”

Natasha sat up after you did, looking at her like she was in the process of growing a second head. “What?” Before she couldn’t say much else, you were talking again. “Who put that idea into your head? No, your job doesn’t put a strain on us, unless you feel something on your side?”

“No, no,” Natasha rushed out. “I just… I don't want you to feel like I’m neglecting you. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not getting what you need from me, as a w-girlfriend.”

“Natasha,” your voice was soft in the night, a satisfied and sweet whisper that never failed to calm her nerves. “You give me everything I could ever ask for. You always have, and I think you always will. Is this about stargazing?”

“What?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you got weird when we were walking in the park,” you said softly, your fingers tracing little hearts on her back. “I told you that we didn’t go stargaze or bird watching together, and you got upset. Is that what this is about?”

She couldn’t lie to you. “Somewhat.”

“Oh, Nat,” you said, and you pulled her closer to you, resting your head on her chest and listening to her heartbeat, steady and constant. “I don’t care about that. All I care about is you.”

“Do you even see enough of me?”

“Your job does not affect me whatsoever,” you answered. “I knew who you were and what you did when I asked you to go to that picnic with me, remember? I knew exactly what you did, and I knew around how much I could or could not be seeing you. I knew everything. So, why would I back out now after all these years? And why would I leave you?”

You had no idea how soothing your words were to Natasha in that moment. To you, it was just reassurance, affirmative words. To her, it was everything. It was the solution to all of her worries regarding the ring that was in her dresser back at the Tower.

“The point is, I could wait up for you to get home until four in the morning and make dinner for you after a long mission every day for the rest of my life, if you wanted me to.” The tracing of hearts never stopped on Natasha’s skin, but her breathing surely did for a second. “Because, what’s losing a few days compared to sharing a lifetime?”

Natasha smiled as the fear washed out of her system like it had never been there. More or less, you had just confessed to her that you wanted to be with her for a lifetime, and that for that lifetime, you didn’t mind any of the things that she was worried about. She was going to do it.

§§

After a short chat with the team, Natasha was finally ready. Like they could all tell that it was the day, they gave her a serious pep talk and Tony even muttered his premature congratulations, even though Wanda insisted that saying it before was a form of bad luck.

The plan was set. She was going to get you from work, pretend like you were going to go to dinner, and then take you stargazing. And then, she was going to pop the question. And hopefully, most likely, you were going to say “yes”.

When her car rolled up to the windows of your store while you were cleaning, you laughed. “Hi, Nat! What’s up?”

“Just here to pick you up,” she said with a smile, and your grinned at her.

“Alright, give me fifteen.”

By the time you had gotten home, gotten dressed and were both seated in the car, Natasha’s hands were sweaty, and the weight of the little box was somehow heavier than anything Natasha had ever carried before. Her leg was bouncing up and down in the driver’s seat, and she hoped that you paid no mind to it.

“It’s pretty tonight,” you mused, and she nodded.

“Yep, very clear.” And it was pure luck. She thanked all the gods that were ever worshipped that it was a clear night. “You can see everything.”

“Yeah, you can.”

“Do you… do you wanna go look at the stars?” She asked, and you turned your head to the side to look at her, a spark in your eyes that had just caught flame.

“You didn’t reserve anything, right?”

Natasha had forgotten about the fake dinner already, her eager mind already onto the next stage. “Oh? No. I didn’t.”

“Then, we should ditch the food and do that. I’ll make you dinner after.”

When Natasha parked on the side of the road, it was empty. It was emptier than it usually was at night, and the closest street lights were off. It made it much easier to see the stars. You were the first one to sit down on the dry grass, and you patted the spot beside you, urging Natasha to sit down with you. The second she did, you laid down and sighed, eyes on the sky.

After a few moments of holding hands with eyes to the stars, roaming the dark blue sky in silence, you quietly began to speak. “It’s so pretty,” you murmured. “I haven’t done this in forever, and I hardly remember what it was like, but I can’t imagine that any other time could have been better than a time with you.”

Natasha turned her head into your neck, resting it there like she always did. “I love you,” she whispered, and you shivered at the intensity laced between the three words, the sincerity warming your heart. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” you responded, just as genuinely. You tapped her hand three times with your pointer finger, saying it twice. “More than I love the stars.”

You two stayed there for hours, just watching the sky and ignoring the dull hunger pains that kept leaving and coming back. You spent a little time pointing out constellations, and Natasha told you how to navigate using the stars. Eventually, it was time to leave, and Natasha reached her hand out to you once she stood up.

Natasha slowly walked you towards the car, but you didn’t notice how out of character it was for her to walk without a sense of urgency in the moment. She knew that you couldn’t hear their footsteps, but she could. They were soft and familiar, trying not to alert you of their presence, and they were succeeding. Natasha cleared her throat softly and swallowed her fears.

“Y/N,” she started, and you furrowed your brows at the usage of your name. “Do you remember how we first met?”

You stopped walking, your back towards the approaching people. “Of course I do,” you responded, a smile on your face as you reminisced. “You ordered a cone with no sprinkles, what a weirdo.”

“Is it weird for me to say that I knew?”

“Knew what?”

“I knew that you were going to be a part of my life somehow. Whether it was going to be a friendship, a relationship, or even just an acquaintanceship, I didn’t know. But I knew you’d be around.”

“That’s so sweet, Tasha.” Your bottom lip poked out and you went in to hug her, closing your eyes as you held her tight and then pulled away. “I think I knew after our third date.”

Natasha cracked a smile, even though she felt like she was going to throw up. “Coney Island?”

“Coney Island,” you confirmed, eyes glimmering under the starlight. Natasha was about to get lost in them, well on her way, before she shook her head and cleared her throat again, checking behind you discreetly to make sure that everyone was hiding before she turned you both sideways, so that your side profiles were visible to the others.

“But… you have the most beautiful soul that I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. You're everything I could ever dream of asking for, and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. You’re my day and night, my high tide and low tide, and you’re the only person I’ll ever admit that I need. Because it’s true. You give me a peace that I never hoped to ever receive from anything, and I love you even more for that. You are just… you’re the one for me. And I…” she swallowed as her eyes tore away from yours, and she wiped her sweaty palms on her jacket. “I’m sorry I’m no good at speeches, but I...”

She reached into both pockets at the same time and pulled the box out in a swift movement, and before you even knew what she had done, she was on one knee right in front of you. A strangled noise came from your throat, a gasp and a sigh all the same, and then you put one hand over your mouth.

Natasha’s eyes were watering, and so were yours. “I would be the luckiest woman in the world, the most privileged and honored person in the entire universe, if you let me marry you.”

There was utter silence for a second besides your harsh and surprised breathing. Then, a gasp left your mouth. “Natasha!” You shrieked, a hand still over your mouth as the tears ran down your face, reflecting the joy you felt on the inside. Your emotions roared and rushed inside of you, like a furious river of elation. You blinked rapidly, but you were so happy that your eyes didn’t even get that familiar burning feeling that came with the tears.

“Is that even a fucking question?” You bent down to her level and your lips met hers, passionately and full of love and relief. Neither of you noticed the clapping and cheers after being so immersed in each other.

Natasha pulled away, a shit-eating grin on her face as she started to say something to you, right when you noticed everyone else around you. “Wait, baby, let me put the-”

“Have you been here the whole time?” You shouted towards the rest of the team, who were all watching with proud and excited expressions, and Wanda nodded.

“Most of the time,” she grinned, and you wiped the tears from your face, only to see the one and only Tony Stark recording you and Natasha, who was still on one knee in front of you, holding one of your hands.

“Can I?” Natasha asked from her kneeling position, gesturing towards the ring, and you nodded excitedly. She slipped it on your left ring finger, and you yanked her up with such excitement that she was sure that one of her bones popped, but she didn’t care. She kissed you again, a sweet and meaningful kiss, before she hugged you tightly.

“Thank you.”

You would have been confused if you weren’t on a high. You were going to get married. To Natasha. You were going to have forever with her, like you always wanted. “For what?”

She kissed the shell of your ear softly, and then your jaw and cheek, right where you always kissed her. “For everything, darling.” You leaned back into her, your face in her neck, and she made brief eye contact with her friends, who were all looking at the display of affection with soft eyes and even more tender hearts. She closed her eyes as she felt your heart beating against her chest, savoring the feeling of being so close to the woman that she loved unconditionally, her soon-to-be wife. “For everything.”

****

hey guys! hope y’all liked this one, i wrote it in two hours, and then thought about deleting it, but here she stands. if you liked it, feel free to like and reblog! comments are also widely appreciated, i love those! also, i wanna make friends up here so feel free to blow up my messages! hope you have a great day/night 💕

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #lgbt #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #natasha x you #the avengers #black widow #natasha fluff

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artaefact · 3 years

Text

say, cheese!

↳ when you meet a charming stranger in the ferris wheel

➳ 1.3k+ words | fluff, photographer!hoseok, s2l au | jung hoseok x f reader | pg-15 | brief mention of infidelity, usage of the finger, swearing

author’s note: this is part of the BGW drabble marathon !! and also thank you mo ( @suhdays ) for beta-reading and hyping me up 🥺💖

prompt: meet-cute (tropes)

You lost count over how long you have been running, trying to lose your boyfriend, no, ex-boyfriend in the crowd. It’s a cowardly move, yeah, but you needed the time to process everything slowly. After all, getting dumped in an amusement park is the last thing you expect to happen.

When you’re sure the prick isn’t hot on your trail anymore, you head to the Ferris wheel, bypassing the waiting line easily before a group of people joins in behind you. You enter a moving carriage quickly and settle on its seat.

Exhaustion settles over you, and you’re about to go on a crying fest when you notice another passenger sits across from you. You blink rapidly, stopping your tears from falling and letting out a sigh instead.

You suppose it’s better than having more people in the carriage. The stranger barely gives you a look as he’s focused on taking photographs of the view outside.

The carriage makes its way to the top, and your glassy gaze remains on the window on your side. Everything looks bright and lively, which contrasts with what you’re feeling right now as your heart weighs heavily inside your chest.

Today is supposed to be your first anniversary with your ex. You were so excited when he planned to go to the amusement park to celebrate today. Until he decided to throw the “it’s not you, it’s me” bomb on you when you damn well knew it has got to do with that chick he’s been texting recently.

After dumping your snow cone and flipping the finger on his face, you ran into the crowd, not once looking back as he called your name.

Your mind engulfs you deep into your own world when the stranger in front of you clears his throat. You blink in confusion. “Yes?”

“The ferris wheel has technical issues. So, we’re stuck for the time being.”

“What?”

“Yeah, and— uh, are you okay, miss?”

“Huh?”

The stranger looks flustered as he points out, “You’re crying...” Your hand instinctively touches your wet cheek then quickly puts an attempt to wipe your tears. “Here,” he says gently, offering you a kleenex. You take it, muttering ‘thanks’ before dabbing it on your face while sniffling.

The chatter of people from below fills the silence in the carriage as you stare out the window, adamant to not meet the stranger’s eyes with your puffy ones.

“Have you tried the cotton candy from the food stall near the castle?” You glance at the stranger, who’s looking out of the window too. “There’s some churros and ice cream if I’m not mistaken. God, now all I can think of is food since I haven’t eaten all day.” He pouts, patting on his stomach.

As if on cue, his stomach rumbles loudly, and he lets out a sheepish chuckle. “Sorry, I didn’t know it’ll be that loud.”

You let out a chuckle. “That’s okay.”

The air feels warmer between the two of you, and he extends a hand to you. “I’m Hoseok, by the way.”

“Y/N…” You reply, taking his hand in yours.

“So, Y/N… Since we’re still stuck here, do you want to see some pictures I’ve taken?” He lifts his camera in emphasis, his smile never leaving his face.

You gape at him for a moment before nodding reluctantly.

“But you have to be honest, okay?” He clarifies as he shows you the first picture. And you let out a bark of laughter. “Shit!” He changed the screen quickly. “I wasn’t supposed to show you that.”

A small smile stays on your lips. “You look good though.”

“I do, huh?” He grins at your reaction. “I always took pictures of people, but never myself. So, I have been trying to take a selfie with my camera.”

“Why don’t you use your phone? Isn’t it easier?”

He shakes his head. “The quality from my camera looks way better than my phone.”

Then Hoseok continues to show you all the other pictures he took. You are amazed at how he can make everything in the amusement park photogenic—all except the failed selfies he took.

“Um, if you want I can take a picture of you here? Since you know, we’re stuck at the top of the ferris wheel, might as well take advantage of it,” you ramble. “But it’s okay if you don’t want to since uh, expensive camera and all its hard to trust strangers—”

“Sure,” he answers quickly, moving to sit right next to you as he loops the strap of the camera on your neck. “It’s easy to use this. Just press this button and—“

You nod at his instructions, focusing on the camera so hard despite his proximity until you can smell his musky, fresh scent. Hoseok then moves back to his original seat, leaning closer to the window. You adjust the angle of the camera and count down from three. “Say ‘cheese’!”

Hoseok giggles and repeats it. “Cheese!”

After the shutters close with a click, he sits beside you excitedly as you hand him his camera. “Wow! For a beginner, you sure do know your angles.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle, standing up to move across from him. Not a moment later, the carriage starts to move again, causing you to yelp as you stagger back.

“Whoa! Be careful, Y/N!” Instead of finding yourself on the seat again, you find yourself on Hoseok’s lap. One arm holding his camera and the other wrapping around your waist, keeping you steady.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” You move quickly to the seat across.

“It’s okay,” he laughs at your flustered state. “Glad you didn’t hurt yourself, though.”

The carriage arrives at the bottom quickly, and you find yourself disappointed in having to bid Hoseok farewell. You never expect to be comfortable with someone new so fast. But his presence manages to cheer you up after what happened between you and your ex.

Stepping out of the carriage, you make a beeline to the exit gate with Hoseok following suit. You turn to him, giving him a genuine smile.” So, I guess this is where we say goodbye?”

For a moment, Hoseok stares at you in wonder. Your sentence seems to register inside his head quite late as he flounders, “Oh! Uh… It doesn’t have to be.” He scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I mean, we can still go to the food stall together if you’d like? Or is that too creepy with someone you just met? I—”

“Okay,” you agree.” I’ll go with you to grab something to eat.”

And you swear his chocolate eyes brighten up instantly,” Great—! I mean, cool, okay, I’ll uh, show you where the cotton candies are—” He blabbers as you watch him in amusement. “And the ice cream! They say sweets make pretty girls smile!” He realises what he said before he shakes his palms rapidly. “I’m not talking about you, not that you aren’t pretty. In fact, you’re beautiful especially when you smile. Shit, I don’t mean to sound creepy! I swear I’m not; I’m just a freelance photographer!”

You giggle at his ramblings. “I get what you mean, Hoseok.”

He barely can look at you afterwards, eyes glancing everywhere but you. By the time you reach the food stalls, his face is burning. You chortle at his cute reaction.

After spending time with him in the Ferris wheel, somehow, the heavyweight in your heart gradually lightens. Yes, you still can feel the ache inside, but Hoseok seems to know how to ease them with his antics. And you know he purposely showed you his bad selfie, which is merely taken in a weird angle because selfies with that face can never go wrong.

So, as you’re waiting for the ice cream, you nudge him gently, earning his attention. He holds your stare even when his eyes are shaking, and you smile at him. “Thank you, Hoseok. I really needed this.”

He grins back. “Anything to make you smile.”

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paper-n-ashes · 3 years

Text

sparks and embers - chapter 3

Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Chapter 3 - The Return

Words: 4k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: medical descriptions and procedures, some sexual themes - mainly in the form of OC being thirsty AF

Read on AO3 or Start from the beginning

On the way back from the East village, filled with the Gossams, humans and other alien species who had similarly escaped to a simpler life, I couldn’t help but curse at myself for giving in so easily to the pleas of a good-looking stranger.

Aiding someone merely for their physical appearance? How horribly unprofessional.

The voice in the back of my mind was loud. And curiously judgemental.

It had been over a full day cycle since I’d departed the clinic, making Poe vow to remain within the confines of his bed until I had returned. I’d left him with enough food for two days of my travelling, hygiene supplies, a drip running slowly for some pain relief and range of tools for him to attempt getting BB-8 up and running, hoping he wouldn’t have any reason to struggle getting out of bed.

The thought of his still fragile femur bone breaking and splitting the artery I’d spent all my energy on mending was beyond frightening. I worried about him every minute I was awake, imagining any number of complications that would leave me a corpse to find when I arrived back.

Bleeding, clots, stroke, infection, sepsis.

It wasn’t easy to slip those thoughts from my mind in the lone starkness of the Raxus countryside. There wasn’t really anything to look at except grass and sky, nothing to distract me from the worst case scenarios.

I’d convinced some of my old patients to join my cause, promising them better medicine and equipment if I was only able to have a comm-tower to order everything I needed. It didn’t seem like lying. The comm-tower really was my only link to the rest of the galaxy, and I would have needed it fixed anyway. Only now, time seemed to be more of the essence.

After spending the night amongst the locals I had grown to be familiar with over the last few years, I’d begun the trek back with the knowledge at least one problem had been solved. Some promised spare parts, others were going to follow my path within the next day cycle to get my comm-link back online. I hadn’t divulged all the story, at least not the part about this repair job apparently being a determining factor in the fate of the galaxy.

I hadn’t pressed Poe about what that meant exactly. I was used to the Resistance and their soldiers having somewhat of a flair for the dramatic when it came to war, after healing many of their battle wounds in years past. I knew how fervently they believed in their cause - that they were the only thing standing between galaxy wide harmony and First Order dictatorship.

I understood their hope of peace in our lifetime, but I’d lost mine a long time ago. Good, bad, they were just two sides of a coin that would flip for eternity, desperately chasing power for their own reasons.

In truth, I didn’t particularly care. I just hoped to live my life somewhat free from the burden of picking a side.

Before unlocking the clinic door, my feet aching from hiking for 6 straight hours, I drew in a long breath with a silent prayer I wouldn’t be walking in to find a dead body. With a fluid motion I turned the handle and pushed the door open, my head popping in first around the entryway to where Poe’s hospital bed stood. He immediately heard the latch clicking and shot his head up to meet with my eyes.

“You’re back,” he smiled, as I noted how much colour had returned to his face during my absence.

He looked so much better.

For the first time, I found myself studying his face, my stare tracing from his strong angular jawline to his high cheekbones, the prominence of his nose, the whiskey colour of his large cheerful eyes, his tousled deep brown hair. Then I took in his wide grin, shapely pink lips curled upwards to show perfectly set white teeth.

Stars, he’s so handsome.

In the muddle of memories I’d conceived from the night of his crash I’d not recognised, at least not during the time I was struggling to keep him alive, how attractive he was. And now with his health a far better picture than the last time I’d seen him, it was all I could notice. My heart quivered through a beat as he beamed at me, soon realising his smile was more a reflection of the prospective good news I brought with my return, making it settle back into a normal rhythm.

“Hi,” I breathed, walking closer and setting my pack down at the foot of the hospital bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he answered, “The smaller burns are almost gone, and my chest wound is closed, look!” He pulled up the grey hospital shirt I’d managed to change him into before I had to leave. This time when I saw the nakedness of his chest and abdomen I couldn’t help but stare at his softly defined muscles, all tensing during his movement. He was right, the hole below his rib now sealed, a newly-formed, pink scar in its place. The chest tube was still secured above it, now redundant.

“Gotta love bacta,” I hummed. “I can take that drain out now if you like.”

He looked at me incredulously. “You’ve just done a 30 hour round trip for me, not even sat down, and you want to dive head first into more treatment?”

“I... uh... I mean... I just wanted to help you feel better,” I stammered.

Poe shook his head, smirking. “It’s okay, I appreciate it. Really, I do. But I’m alright, the tube can wait. How about you rest for a second and tell me how the mission- I mean, trip, went?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Two days ago you were begging me to get going so I couldn’t waste any time, now you’re telling me I can take a load off?”

"Uh, yeah… Sorry about that,” he grimaced. “Having some time to think while you were gone... It made me realise everything you’d done and were doing for me - a stranger you had no reason to help." Poe took a long exhale before speaking again, his tone serious. "I was in a lot of pain, just woken up in a strange place. It’s still imperative to get a message back to the Resistance as soon as possible but... that’s not your burden to bear. I can't thank you enough for your help, but I'll try not to ask too much more of you.”

It seemed not only had his physical health improved, but logical thought and patience had returned.

I took my cue to sit on one of the opposite hospital beds, letting my feet dangle over the edge to kick my shoes off, feet pulsing with gratitude at their release. “There’s some villagers coming tomorrow,” I started. “They will hopefully have a new comm-tower up and running within the next couple of days. I told them about your droid too. There’s some spare parts in that bag.” I pointed my hand out to the satchel at Poe’s feet, glancing at the L shaped table beside his bed I’d set up. BB-8 was sitting on top of it, head and body still separated and now unbolted at separate points, wires haphazardly sticking out in different directions. Falling back into the mattress, I let out an exhausted sigh, relishing the feel of the squeaky mattress under my body.

“I really owe you. The Resistance owes you,” Poe praised after a few moments of silence, as I heard him begin to rummage through the satchel. I held back a frown, even when I knew he wouldn’t be able to catch sight of my face.

I didn’t do any of this for the Resistance.

It occurred to me then I wasn’t really sure why I’d done it at all. I had always been a sucker for those in poor predicaments, hence why I became a doctor in the first place. But the trek had nothing to do with treatment or medicine. It was purely at the behest of this pilot, who’s charming appearance in the dimmed orange light of the evening made my skin feel hot.

“So, how did a girl like you find herself in the middle of nowhere on the Outer Rim?” Poe questioned, fiddling with some of the parts.

I sat back up. “I’m not a girl. I’m 28. That’s a little too old to be called girl anymore.”

Poe chuckled, the sound of his laugh both warming and positively thrilling. “I apologise. How did a woman like you end up here?”

“I used to work on Coruscant, that’s where I started my medical training,” I explained, remembering the glittering planet I’d spent much of my young life on. “Then moved into the war relief efforts on medical frigates scattered throughout the galaxy. Treating wounded soldiers day in day out took its toll, having people constantly injured and almost dying for a war they didn’t start.” I glanced to Poe's expression, seeing a glow of understanding behind his eyes before I continued. “Plus, there were more than a few times I felt a little redundant. The medical droids they have kind of... made my treatment obsolete. I wanted to practice medicine in a place where adequate health care was rare or non-existent. I wanted to help those who were most desperate, who otherwise couldn’t afford it, those who would actually value the care of a live human doctor. So I picked a planet at random, and settled here."

The random part was an utter lie. No one had cared about Raxus since the Clone Wars, and the First Order wouldn’t make it their priority to conquer Outer Rim worlds for a while yet. It was a quiet, calm planet with countless refugees fleeing here to make peaceful new lives. They wouldn’t be concerned about old, rusty equipment, lower quality bacta or no medical droids. They would simply be happy at having a doctor within a day’s trek.

And no one would think of looking here for a Force user.

Poe studied me in quiet thought for a moment, taking in what I’d divulged. “Well, they're damn lucky, with how nicely you patched me up. You’d run circles around some of the doctors and medical droids at the Resistance base.” He grinned at me again, earnestly, another attempt to thank me for my work. I felt the pit of my stomach tense, and it wouldn’t retreat, the thought of his smile lingering in my mind even after he’d gone back to his tinkering.

It had to be because I’d been in isolation for so long, why I was reacting so strongly to the innocent smiles and compliments of a man I barely knew. I definitely wasn’t used to conversing with men so close in age to my own. Most of the local humans were older, married with children, and I rarely made conversation around any other topic than their illnesses.

“What... uh... Why were you flying over Raxus?” I asked awkwardly.

His eyebrows creased together as he looked back at me. “Raxus wasn’t my destination, but I... can’t tell you any more than that.”

“Oh…”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he urged. “It’s just, you know, highly confidential.” He seemed apologetic, like he owed me more of an explanation.

I nodded, agreeing the less I knew about the Resistance and their missions the better. “Well, you’ll be able to get back to it in a couple of days,” I insisted, breaking the awkward silence that had lingered. “Some time and a little bit more bacta and you’ll be like new again.”

“Actually, speaking of that,” he started, an uneasy expression now settling in his features. “I was wondering when you were thinking of letting me get out of this bed.”

“Depends on the reason Poe. I’d recommend starting your formal rehab tomorrow at the absolute earliest, otherwise we can get you up and walking if you need to do something… uh… specific.” There was no hiding the waver in my voice.

He laughed, louder than he had before, the sound making it difficult for me not to blush. “Aren’t you a doctor? Why are you embarrassed for me to use the bathroom?”

“Hey!” I frowned. “I was trying to save you from being embarrassed.”

He shook his head, still chuckling. “I’m alright on that front for now. I was actually hoping to use your refresher. It’s been a few days…”

“Oh of course!” I’d cleaned him up as much as I could before I’d left, getting rid of his obliterated flight suit and helping change into the bland hospital outfit I reserved for overnighters, but even to myself the idea of a shower was enticing.

A thought flashed into my mind of steaming water hitting Poe’s sun darkened skin, trickling down his toned body as he lathered himself in soap suds.

Woah.

Okay.

That was new.

It had been such a long time since I’d felt the fire of blood rushing to the lower portion of my abdomen, insides clenching at the heat so suddenly ignited.

Poe was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. I internally shook away the incriminating thoughts before they could be conveyed on my face. “How about I get that chest tube out first? Then I can help you to the ‘fresher?”

He breathed out in relief. “That would be fantastic.”

I stepped lightly off the hospital bed, walking shoe-less over to my medical trolley to drag it back to Poe’s side. And immediately, without me asking, he sat up and began a haphazard attempt to pull off his shirt, left arm bandaged and stiff, right arm enveloped in the cast I’d made and evidently still painful to move.

In a wordless reply, I helped him pull the fabric over his head, confronted with the image of a half-naked, strikingly handsome man in front of me.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t recognised any of his raw allure when he’d been almost stripped completely bare by my own hands on the night of his crash. It seemed bizarre I wouldn’t have noted the strong, broadness of his shoulders, his armoured chest littered deliciously with dark hair, carved abdominal muscles tensed in waiting.

I swallowed hard, hoping Poe wouldn’t register my shaking hands as I prepared the tube removal kit. Snipping the sutures around the plastic, unsteady gloved fingers pulled out the tube as smoothly as I could manage, Poe flinching slightly at the sensation. He continued to look away as I injected some bacta gel into the wound, sealing it closed with a few new sutures and placing a waterproof dressing over the site.

“All done,” I settled. “Like nothing happened at all.”

Poe looked back to me and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. It was obvious he remained troubled by the memories of his crash, and understandably so. I’d seen the same look in many other military personnel, the attempt to put on a brave face when images of fire, blood and terror pierced their thoughts. I desperately wanted to take his mind to a brighter place. “So, ready to try walking?”

“Absolutely! Lead the way doc.”

Ugh. Eventually I would have to correct him on that.

I stepped back from the side of the bed, arms stretched in readiness for when he inevitably stumbled. “Please take it slowly. Your muscles aren’t going to be pleased with what you’re doing after over two days of bed rest.”

“Sure thing,” Poe scoffed.

Typical male.

Initially he seemed to take my direction, moving his legs slowly from under the blanket, pain now registering on his features. He swivelled himself sluggishly to let his legs fall over the side of the mattress, breathing slightly heavier to push through the discomfort.

He was leaning more on his left side, right arm hovering over his thigh. Tentatively, he slipped his left foot onto the floor and shifted his weight onto it, pushing his hand into the mattress to help himself up.

Soon he was standing in front of me for the first time since we’d met, and even amongst all the burns, bruises, dressings and bandages, he looked impossibly strong, toned muscles wrapping his form.

He noticed the timid smile form on my lips.

“Hey don’t start laughing at me. I don’t think I could handle my ego being bruised along with the rest of me.”

“Oh... I wasn’t-,” I stumbled, quietly relieved he’d misread the reason behind my smirk.

He held his hand up in protest, grinning. “I was kidding. You’re welcome to laugh at the adult sized toddler learning to walk again.”

It was difficult not to snicker at his words. “Come on,” I encouraged. “Just think of how nice that hot water will feel.”

He sighed in agreement and moved, taking a hesitant step onto the previously fractured leg. I swiftly froze with anxiety, even when the logical side of my brain told me both the break and the artery would have stabilised exponentially by now. But the emotional side, the part that remembered the rush of blood that had exploded from the wound site, nagged incessantly at me, insisting that this was a very bad idea.

My eyes were glued to Poe’s figure as he shifted his weight deliberately, muscles tensing at the trigger of pain he was likely feeling, before he made a delicate hop to move back onto his left leg.

Even that one haggard step appeared to take a lot out of him, but he seemed determined, eyebrows already wrinkled in concentration. He continued the process a few times over, my arms still poised in waiting for the foreseeable stumble as I walked backwards. I couldn’t help but hold my breath as he limped, following me out of the clinic room into the hallway that lead to my office, the ‘fresher, and my living quarters all the way at the end.

His steps became faster, more confident, when all of a sudden, his balance wavered.

Reacting quickly, I stepped forward to catch him, arms circling under his own and around his torso, hands now gripping the muscles on his back as he crashed into me. I would have stayed there for a moment, my fingertips registering the warmth radiating off his skin, until I became fully aware where his face had fallen into.

I felt Poe’s heated exhale through the cotton of my white shirt after his face had collided into my chest, directly between my breasts. The twinge in my lower abdomen occurred again, breath hitching in my throat.

He scrambled to push himself back into a standing position, my arms releasing from around him, his hands clamping around my biceps as he fought to reclaim his steadiness again.

“I am so sorry!” he blurted, his face dangerously close to mine, only a small touch of redness visible under his caramel skinned cheeks. I knew my blushing would be much more pronounced.

“It’s okay,” I breathed. “I was waiting for that to happen.”

His eyes widened.

“Not that!” I yelped. “I meant you falling! I was waiting for you to fall!”

Poe’s face illuminated into a beaming grin. “Sure you did.”

I frowned in protest, but couldn’t stop the chuckle escaping. I shifted to face the same way as him, an arm curling around his torso, angling my body under his own. “How about I help you the rest of the way?”

His hand gripped onto my shoulder, the hardened squeeze making the tensing inside me ripple even faster.

Focus Alex.

Poe let me support him as he limped down the hallway, and I desperately tried to distance myself from the thoughts that swirled in my mind at being connected so closely.

Eventually we made it into the ‘fresher, a white and grey tiled room with the large, frameless shower enclosure taking up most of the space, the only privacy a plastic curtain that could be pulled across the entire spans of the room. I’d designed it with the idea there would be enough space to assist overnighter patient’s in washing themselves, since I didn’t have a nurse to do it for me. Yet, it still gave me the ability to provide some discretion by stepping out past the other side of the curtain, ready to swoop in if I was needed.

And that’s what I’d planned for Poe, knowing he was hardly the type of patient that was going to let me do anything for him if he could help it. Guiding him to the backless shower chair, I released him to his own devices and quickly pulled the curtain across. It was more for my own concealment at this point, needing to take a moment to settle myself down, the memory of his hold still lingering on my skin.

“I’ll be right here if you need any help okay? Everything you need will be on the shelf under the shower start button.”

“Thanks Alex,” he answered, his voice huffing out as I could hear he’d already started to shimmy down his pants.

Stop imagining it Alex. Stop thinking about him naked, a metre away, behind that thin curtain.

The sound of water rushing into the tile floor pulled me back into some impression of reality. I busied myself with organising my own hygienic supplies in the mirrored cupboard, desperately trying to think of anything other than the man hidden from my view, steam swirling around his figure, water dribbling down his bare skin. From behind the screen I heard a pleasant moan leave him, obviously enjoying the hot water battering into his aching muscles for the first time in days.

And with that sound I felt a twinge between my legs, heat swelling and rippling outwards through my body.

Stars, that was... hot.

It felt so unprofessional, to be tantalized by the thought of a man, a patient, in the middle of such a basic act of human hygiene. But I couldn’t deny he was more attractive than any patient I’d ever had in my life, and the thought of ripping open the curtain so I could join him was suddenly the most tempting thing in the galaxy.

I locked my hands onto the basin that stood in front of me, trying not to be overwhelmed by the sound of Poe lathering soap between his hands, then sliding over an unseen portion of his body.

It was then I started to pace, hoping the repetitive movement would stop me ruminating over the indecent notions my mind was conjuring. Minutes ticked by too slowly as I waited for him to finish his routine, begging for the irresistible pull of craving to be released from me.

“Hey Alex?” Poe suddenly called.

“What's wrong?” I squeaked, cursing at myself for sounding so startled.

“I actually need some help.”

Oh maker, why do you do this to me?

I swallowed hard. “Y-yeah. Sure. Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he began, voice sounding a little forced. “It’s just... with my left arm still bandaged, and my right arm still in the cast, I can’t wash my hair. I know it’s a little strange, but could you help me out?”

My heart ricocheted inside my rib cage, frolicking at the thought of seeing him soaked in water, fingers raking through his dampened hair.

Come on Alex, try to keep at least one shred of professionalism.

“Sure,” I agreed, a more competent tone saturating my voice as I withheld my internal fluttering. “Make yourself… uh… decent, and I’ll open the curtain.”

I heard Poe’s movement as he reached for one of the towels hanging on the rail nearby and wrapped it around his lower body. The flowing water soon came to a stop, the sudden silence making me feel uneasy.

“Ready.”

I placed myself in front of the curtain between us, his stature only barely visible through the clouded screen. My jaw was locked as I took a deep breath through my nose, meditating in thought, frantically clawing at a sense of calm.

Then I reached towards the plastic, clenched my hand around it, and pulled.

Next Chapter

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#poe dameron #poe dameron x original female character #kylo ren #kylo ren x original female character #star wars #star wars fanfiction #adcu #adcu fanfiction

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hermit-pistol · 4 years

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Bruno Bucciarati Fluff Alphabet:

Here’s my first full alphabet for the 600 follower special! It was so fun to write. Enjoy and click under the cut!

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Bruno loves taking you around the town in your free time. This includes walks in the park and dining at the best restaurants. When it's a lazy day at home he'll either lounge around with you or do some paperwork. A capo's job is never done.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Physically? He loves your eyes and how expressive they are. No matter what you say your eyes will always tell him how you're truly feeling. Another trait he really loves is your sense of humor, complete with a never-ending supply of inside jokes!

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Bruno will take you into a quiet space, rubbing small circles on your back as you take short, shallow breaths. No matter what you were going through at the time you know that he will be there to console and take care of you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Even though he shouldn't be getting ahead of himself, Bruno is always thinking in the long term since his future with being in the mafia is uncertain. If all goes well he would love to build a life with you and would hope for marriage and children. He wants to teach his kids how to fish 🥺

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He considers your relationship to be completely equal. In order for the relationship to work there has to be an equal amount of give and take. All decisions are taken on as a team.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

With the information given in B, fights with his s/o can be dissolved rather quickly. While you may say hurtful things your eyes tell him that you don't truly mean what you say whether the conflict was minor or not so much. He hates confrontation, which he deals with enough given his line of work, therefore fights are few and far between.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Bruno clearly sees when you're putting forth the extra effort. If he was telling you about a rough day at work, he would be surprised with breakfast in bed the following morning. He’ll shower you with kisses and lets you know how grateful he is to have you in his life.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Being in the mafia requires keeping many secrets, and being good at it too. He's very upfront at the beginning of the relationship that there are just some things he won't be allowed to tell you. You understand. Other than that, he tells you everything.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

If anything, being with you has taught Bruno how to care and be emotionally available for another person. He's spent most of his life fending for himself, so when you came into his life it was a very eye-opening experience. It was something he never thought that he would get to experience, and he's so thankful that you're his inspiration everyday!

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Bruno will get a little handsy when jealous, in a 'Hey, back off buddy.' kinda way. On the rare occasion that you see his jealousy getting the best of him you're rather amused. You're not used to seeing this side of your otherwise calm, cool, and collected boyfriend.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Bruno is such a romantic that kissing comes naturally to him. They're soft, unless you specify otherwise hehehe.... Your first kiss was a little awkward given the circumstances and nervous atmosphere, but once you jumped that small hurdle he was a natural.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It would be after a particularly fun date, and Bruno, being the gentleman he was, was driving you back to your place. There's a comfortable silence between you until his car pulls into your driveway. Just as you're about to open the door, he just blurts out a simple "I love you-" and you smile. You still make jokes about it to this day, and he gets soo embarrassed when you bring it up.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Bruno is getting married, there is no question about it. Even though you could see the proposal coming from a mile away, of course you accepted! The wedding itself is on a boat, and is a rather small ceremony with his gang and a couple of your family members. He just wishes his father could see him on his special day, but he knows he's there in spirit. Also, marriage with Bruno would be the best. He cooks, cleans, and can give massages~ This man is the whole package.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Hmm, Bruno would call you "dear" whether in public or private change my mind, along with your name of course. When in private he'll get more creative and sappy, with pet names such as baby and the like.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He may act composed, but when he's got a certain someone on his mind he gets a little sloppy. This could include losing his train of thought and needing Giorno to snap in his fingers a couple times for him to snap back to reality. Yep, he was thinking about you again.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

This one is similar to the letter X, but basically he has to be careful since he's a capo of Passione. As for bragging, he's very prideful of his relationship with you but would never flaunt it in front of his team or others. Humble king. 😤

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Not sure if this counts as a quirk but he’s very personable, and he can use that quality to his advantage. His charisma on top of his status as capo can get you some pretty sweet deals. This includes the best seats at the movie theater and extra bread at the restaurant. True story.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Bruno is a very romantic man, and knows how to treat his partner. We're talking roses and chocolate and all that good stuff. He really has a way with words and can make you swoon with only a sentence. It's his gift. ;)

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He believes in you 100%! If you're feeling unsure about pursuing a goal or dream he'll give you a pep talk to set you straight. You sometimes joke that he should become an emotional speaker.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He doesn't really feel the need to change things because he never really gets bored of you/ being with you. He is habitual with meetings and such, but most spontaneous he'll get is the occasional surprise date where he doesn't tell you the location. He’s a “close your eyes until we get there” type of guy.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Bruno is very intuitive and is also very detail-oriented. In the same vein, he will be empathetic when you're grieving or feeling down.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Bruno's relationship with you is very important, and he values it more than anything else. Other than his gang and you, he doesn't have anyone left. Therefore, he treasures the few relationships that he does have.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Every morning when he leaves for work he asks you to braid his hair for him. He could obviously do it himself, but he lives for the intimacy that comes with having you play with his hair. Bonus points if you brush it.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Since he has a reputation to uphold, he's conscious of what the public eye can see. The most he'll do is a quick kiss or holding hands in public. In private though, you better watch out. The man's a cuddling fiend, and when you have days off you won't leave the bed.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Bruno has to go away for missions and meetings all of the time, so phone calls are a must! He loves hearing your voice at the end of a long day, and sometimes keeps you on the line for hours. Before he leaves you also make sure to leave him a little handwritten note. He keeps them all in a desk drawer to look at later. :)

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

I can see Bruno eventually wanting to buy big things for his s/o, and he definitely has the monetary means to do so. Surprising you with jewelry just because, or a piece of clothing. He doesn't have to do these things though, they're just some perks of being the capo's partner!

#bruh bruno is so fun to write #so many possibilties #600 follower special #fluff alphabet #jojos bizarre adventure #jojos bizzare adventure x reader #jojo #jjba #jojo headcanons #jjba headcanons #Bruno Bucciarati #bruno x reader #vento aureo headcanons

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wayhavnsfinest · 4 years

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Reading Lessons

I wrote another little thing! This idea came to me as I was recording phonics lessons for my Kinders! It feels nice to write something that isn’t work related.

Pairing: Damon x Reader

Damon can’t read. The thought strikes you like a punch to the gut. It makes sense. He grew up on Cursa. It’s a city of sin divided into fifteen hellish districts. There are no schools on Cursa, the council abandoned it; why would the crown send the resources needed for schools? No one talks about Cursa. No one cares about Cursa.

He hides it well. If it weren’t for your mild obsession with the assassin you probably would have never noticed. It was the little things that tipped you off.

Damon’s orders always being verbal; whether in person or through an audio message. Where as Ryona, Bash and the others would get their updates or orders through written messages. How Damon would always use the voice commands instead of typing. Little clues here and there finally clicking.

He can’t read.

The thought bounces around the back of your mind while you train. You try to picture a tiny, toothless Damon going to school. Instead your mind conjures the image of ten year old Damon covered in the blood of his first kill. The violent image has you misstepping causing June to accidentally hit you.

“Crap!” June rushes over to help you up and inspect the damage. “I’m so sorry Princess! I didn’t mean… the move has you sidestepping the other direction!”

“I’m okay” you smile. June always pulls his punches with you. “My fencing instructor used to hit me harder.”

After a very thorough inspection of the injury June releases you for the rest of the afternoon. You walk down the hall to your room and enter the adjoining bathroom. The thought still nags at you.

Why didn’t any of the crew offer to teach him?! Ryona and Cal with their fancy educations could have easily. Hell Bash with his basic education or Aya being educated through the military academy could have helped him out. June was the only one you gave the benefit of the doubt. You knew he could read, but you assume he was taught by Jules and that isn’t the same as a formal education.

Then again, it could be that none of them noticed… that thought doesn’t sit with you any better.

Once the water starts to cool, you hop out of the shower and towel off. Changing into your comfiest pair of clothes you settle into your bed and pull up the holo Cal gave you.

He can’t read.

The thought makes your stomach twist, it keeps you up at night, it makes you sick.

Which is how you ended up in front of Damon’s door at two in the morning armed with the phonics program your private tutor used with you. Before you can even register what you’re doing, you knock quietly on his door. You stand there awkwardly wondering how the hell you're going to explain this to him, well to anyone who might see you. It just occurred to you that you probably should have waited for an hour that isn’t known for booty calls.

When a shirtless Damon answers. You lose your train of thought and ability to speak.

“Well, this is a surprise. If I would have known you were stopping by I would have lit some candles.” He smirks and leans against the door frame. “You do know what time it is right?”

Mistake o’clock is what it is.

As you try to think of a reason why you’re in this predicament it just slips out. “You can’t read.”

All the mirth that was in his eyes two seconds ago vanishes. “The fuck did you say?”

“You-“ before you can finish he pulls you into his room. Between Damon towering over you and the one lamp that’s on, you are barely able to see the red tint across his face and neck.

“I-“ you realize Damon can and will probably kill you for even voicing the discovery. “You can’t read.”

You notice his jaw clench and unclench. “ I underestimated you. You’re much more perceptive than I gave you credit for.” He grins, it’s sinister, not like the lazy ones he normally sends your way.

“I want to teach you.”

“What?”

“I want to teach you.”

“Why?” He studies you. You can’t help but think he’s sizing you up. Like a predator watching his prey.

“Do I need a why?.”

“People don’t help people without wanting something in return.” He turns to sit in his desk chair.

“Friends help each other.” You reply.

“We’re not friends. And before you go saying ’I know you’, you don’t.”

You feel the heat creep across your cheeks and pressure builds in your throat. You blink several times to keep the tears away. “That’s not-“

“That’s not what? I don’t need your pity. I’ve gotten by just fine.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair Princess, maybe you should learn that lesson before offering lessons of your own.”

You turn to leave before he can see how much his words affect you.

He lets out a heavy sigh. “That was…. that was uncalled for. I know you weren’t well…. being like me and pointing out flaws to hurt me. It’s just, it’s the one thing I couldn’t teach myself ya know.” His voice is soft and you turn to look at him. He’s ashamed, embarrassed. “Ya know, I never needed to know how to read. Was always told to ‘leave it to my betters.’ Not that many people are better than me.” He grins, but it’s forced. “I’m trying to change; maybe accepting help is the first step to that. That is if you’re still willing to teach me.”

Swallowing you nod. “We can start tomorrow.”

The next evening, after you finish dishes, you find Damon waiting for you on your bed. “How do we do this?”

“I figured we could start with the basics. We can work on the lessons daily.” Sitting next to him you open up the holo and navigate to the saved lessons.

Damon is intelligent and picks it up quickly. Soon he’s reading everything you assign him. The two of you fall into a comfortable routine. After dinner, you meet in one of your two rooms and settle on the bed; Damon reads aloud to you, you only interrupt to correct. It becomes quickly evident that Damon doesn’t need your help anymore but you don’t want to be the one to say it. Quite frankly you don’t want the quality time to end.

“Princess?”

Damon’s voice departing from the narrative pulls you back to reality. “yes?”

“I never said thank you, did I?”

“Oh. Well you’re welcome. You’re a good student, you made it easy.”

Damon smiles a rare, genuine smile. You can’t help but focus on his lips. They look so kissable. You’ve imagined kissing him so many times. After all your attraction to him is what led you to discover his reading ability. He leans forward on the bed, you lean forward to meet him. He hands you the book. Your face heats up and Damon bursts into laughter.

“What were you expecting princess?”

Blushing, you don’t respond. You let out a surprised squeak as Damon pulls you into a surprisingly gentle kiss.

Breaking the kiss, you finally find your voice. “That, that is what I was expecting.”

#andromeda six fanfic #andromeda six traveler #andromeda six damon #andromeda six #damon renzor #traveler #damon x reader #damon x traveler #a6 game #a6 fanfic #a6 #andromeda 6

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svt13roses · 4 years

Text

All Your Beautiful Lies

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Words: 1.4k

Summary: Everything is picture perfect. But what’s hidden behind it?

Pairing: Boo Seungkwan x Reader

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A/n: When I first decided to get back into writing after taking a break for a few years, I initially wrote a short Seungkwan blurb that wasn’t more than 200 words. I decided “hey you know what, it’s probably time you built on that, loser”. So, here it is! Angst isn’t really my strong suit, but I hope you all enjoy nonetheless!

One year. It’s been one year living in this beautiful, utterly fantastic lie. The line between being naive and playing along was blurred a long time ago. Every day is like a limbo of being in perfect paradise while this dark monster whispers in your ear that it’s fake. You know it’s fake, and you’ve known for a while. But why do you believe it?

It didn’t take long for you to realize the reality of the situation. When you became a concept, something with no actual sustenance. In fact, the day he asked you to be his was a dream in and of itself. Boo Seungkwan, in all his beautiful glory, had asked you of all people to be his partner. The one who sticks by his side no matter what, and ideally he’d do the same for you. You give and you give and you give, and he accepts. You give and he takes. He does give back, in a way. You lived in a picture-perfect apartment with him, with only the best clothes and eating the highest quality of foods. In your eyes, it was all you could ever want. But one day waking up, it all felt fake. Truly, fake.

You initially found it suspicious about how fast your relationship moved with Seungkwan. He swept you off your feet so easily, by the end of the first week you were saying your “I love you’s”. By the second month, he had asked you to move in with him. By the end of the year, you were his on paper. Sealed by the perfect ring that you had dreamed about since childhood. Everyone in your life was so proud of your accomplishment. You had a trophy husband, a job you loved, and a home that was yours. Trophy husband. The words your friends always used to describe Seungkwan. You always laughed it off, playing along with their antics. But when did the roles reverse? When did you become the final piece in the picture-perfect puzzle of life?

That night you lie awake in your bed that’s too big for one person. But tonight, like many nights previously, you’re the only occupant. Rustling around, you decide that the bed was too comfortable to sleep. You got out of your bed, taking your phone off the charger on the bedside table, and checked the time. 1:54 in the morning. A part of you hoped that maybe he would come home. He had late nights in the past, resulting in him coming home in the early hours of 5-6 am. You would both lie in a peaceful slumber that was inevitably interrupted by both of your responsibilities of the day. Lately, however, a simple text of “practicing. Don’t wait up.” was all that you received as an indication that he would not be returning home that night.

You decided that it would be a while before you fell back asleep, so you would might as well get some work done. Entering the kitchen, you were temporarily blinded by turning on the bright lights. You grabbed a bag of your favorite snack and a glass of water, making your way to your office area. Learning from your mistake in the kitchen, you opted to let the light of your laptop illuminate the room as it powered on. As you began to log in, you thought you heard the front door open. Your suspicions were confirmed when you heard his distinctive padding along the floors, trying to be as quiet as possible. You chuckled to yourself; if only he knew how many nights you laid awake hoping that he would decide that coming home was more important than perfecting that last step in whatever dance he was learning.

The bedroom door down the hall slowly creaked open, then clicked shut. Silence. You waited another 10 minutes to see if he realized that you weren’t in bed and silently prayed that he would come looking for you, saying you needed to sleep with a pout adorning his face. The house stayed silent, just as it was before he came home. The only indication of any life being the kitchen light that was, to your knowledge, still turned on, and the gentle hum of your laptop. You looked at your laptop home screen and couldn’t help but smile painfully. The background was one of your favorite pictures of you two, taken when he brought you back to his home to meet his family. You both sat on a bench wearing matching sweaters, the trees turning beautiful shades of red and yellow around you. You had stars in your eyes as you took in the beautiful scenery around you. Even now, you can smell how crisp the air smelled, how soft the sweater felt, and how warm your heart felt. You looked at Seungkwan in particular. Of course, he looked ethereal as he always did but you looked at his eyes. You had been told many times growing up that eyes show the true emotions that people are feeling, but you would roll your eyes. His eyes showed no warmth, no happiness. He was just simply looking like he would at any other person.

Those eyes haunted you. Every picture around your apartment, which you had taken the effort to do, was the same. You held the purest love and adoration while he just smiled. Posed. You unlocked your phone and looked at a picture you had taken together at a cafe two weeks ago, the same one where you two met. Tears slowly welled up as you saw two people with bright smiles. From anyone else’s perspective, you two would look like a perfectly happy couple. But looking at your screen you couldn’t help but feel like an imposter in your own body.

You quickly closed your laptop, deciding you weren’t in the right headspace to work anymore.

“I’ll just go to sleep. Get some rest, wake up, and it’ll be ok. That’s how it always is.” You shakily told yourself, making your way to the bedroom. Standing outside, you felt like there was some force preventing you to go in. The perfect you could be in there, the one that happily greets her husband with no care in the world about how you both really feel. The one who kisses their husband on the cheek goodnight, telling him to have the sweetest dreams about them and snuggling into the blankets silently hoping that maybe he’ll hold her for once. But you weren’t that person. You were a culmination of a person built from a year of lies and dreams. You wanted to tell Seungkwan so bad that you know what he feels isn’t real, you realized it a long time ago. You wanted to tell him that you played your part as a puppet to see him happy. But if he wasn’t happy then what was the point? He clearly put on the same show you did. You just wanted to know what was going on inside his head that let him come as far as this. What’s his motive? Did he want to believe that this wasn’t some show just as bad as you did?

Taking a deep breath, you reach for the door handle, opening it as quietly as you can. The door creaks and you curse internally. You softly shuffle inside, making no acknowledgment that you were even gone from bed at this house. And there he lies on his side of the bed, scrolling through his phone. He makes no effort to let you know that he’s aware that you’ve come to bed. You gingerly lift the covers, trying to make your movements as small as possible as if that would make you disappear. Once safely inside the covers, you contemplate your next move.

“Seungkwan?” You whisper out. You feel the bed move and the sheets rustle as he puts his phone down to face you.

“Hm? What’s up, love?” You almost wince at the pet name. Staring into his eyes, you search for the words you want to say. The truth, about everything you’ve been hiding from him for the past year. You let yourself smile a little and scooch closer to him. You cup his face and kiss his cheek.

“Nothing,” you hum, “just heard you come home and decided I should probably go to bed too. Make sure you dream only the sweetest dreams of me tonight.” You roll over, not daring to look at what expression he could be wearing. You hear a small laugh.

“I always do, I always have and I always will.” You feel your heart stop. You bite your lip, willing to not let any tears slip. Tomorrow will be better, you think to yourself as you drift off, warmed by the blankets and not by the arms you dream to be in.

#seventeen #seventeen au #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #angst #svt #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seungkwan #seungkwan x reader #boo seungkwan #boo seungkwan x reader #rose writes #all your beautiful lies

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gr-ogu · 4 years

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Soph’s Header + Doodle Tutorial (requested by anonymous)

Hi! I’m back again with the sequel to my icon + colouring tutorial, this time with headers and doodles! 🥰 You will need:

I’m using Photoshop CC 2018 to make these headers and doodles, but you could easily make them with earlier/other versions.

Basic gif making knowledge.

A screencap you want to use, some fun textures, and some time and patience!

I always start off with my headers as size 500 by 281 pixels. It doesn’t really matter necessarily, as long as the size is in line with the tumblr dimensions and fits. I find these sizes work to keep a gif or header small, so you can make it a bit longer without going over the tumblr size limit. I know technically tumblr doesn’t have a size limit any more, but I do still try to stick to the 3 MB limit when I can. This is because sometimes gifs lose their quality if you go over. In my opinion, you can afford to go over a bit, but if you go too far, the quality of the gif gets destroyed, and sometimes for me even on 4 MB they just don't play, so 6 MB or 8 MB doesn’t stand a chance. Not sure if anyone else has run into this problem, but you can read more about what I mean here and here.

Okay, so. Making simple headers is actually pretty easy, it’s just a lot of layering of the right things. Once you have your base size, pick a nice gradient to put on it. For me, I’m going with a light purple to a slightly darker purple:

It’s important that you have video timeline turned on for this. If you are not familiar with frame animation and video timeline, I suggest you take a look at this, since we are going to be using both quite a lot in this tutorial.

Next, you want a nice background texture for your header. You don’t have to, but I think it just gives it a little something extra. You can find some textures here they have A LOT to choose from.

Once you have your texture, make it black and white and set it to soft light (unless the texture is the same colour as your background, then sometimes leaving it in colour can enhance the whole thing). Then you should have something that looks like this:

Now add your cap, coloured + smart sharpened and whatever other adjustments you want to make, on top of these layers. If you don’t know how to do this, please see my icon tutorial, where I explain how to do these steps in depth.

Obviously in this instance, Steve is much larger than if this was an icon. Make the picture proportional to the header size, but it’s up to you how big or small you want that to be! So, you could just save the header like that, if you wanted to. BUT, since we’re going to be adding gifs + doodles, I’ve had to make some special adjustments. As you can see down the right-hand side in the layers tab, I’ve added some purple colour over and under Steve (set to soft light, opacity anywhere between 5-30%, whatever suits you) and also lightened the background A LOT. There is a reason for this, which you wouldn’t need to do if you weren’t going to add gifs (unless you wanted the background to be lighter, of course).

So, for the gifs underneath your cap. Here is a pack of gif overlays that I love and adore, once you have chosen one of those, you want to put it underneath your cap. To do this, open the overlay gif, it will look like this:

And you can just drag it across from one file to another, underneath your cap.

I turned off all the layers above the gif, temporarily, so I could move it into place. Once it’s in your header file, make sure to change the gif to “overlay”, which will then bring back your nice background colour. Setting something to overlay makes everything underneath it look darker, hence why we lightened the background before, as I personally didn’t want it to look too dark for the overall header. (You could also put your cap underneath it if you wanted the gif to go over the person, but you’ll have to do extra editing to make sure the cap isn’t too dark if you do so).

Now you should have something that looks like this:

You want to make sure you end the header where the gif ends, even if your layers are “longer”, as you can see above. Again, this is a perfectly acceptable place to leave your header and save it, but this is where I tend to add the doodles!

Open a new file, I usually make them quite big say 800 by 400 px, as you can scale the doodle down later on, rather than starting small and working in a small space, which makes things unnecessarily difficult. If you would like to add some premade doodles onto your gifs, you can find some here, but I will show you how to make your own below!

You could draw the doodles yourself, probably making your life a lot easier, but if you’re like me and you don’t want to do that (for me it’s because I suck at drawing on ps, LMAO) you can use a picture too. Find a picture of what you want, I usually just google it, so here I’ve got a simple crown:

I used the magic wand tool to cut it out, and now we have this:

Now what you want to do is change the video timeline to frame animation. Click the “creative video timeline” button if video timeline isn’t already displayed, then the three dots in the left-hand corner to convert to frame animation, and you should get something like this:

Now, here’s the long-winded bit. It’s slightly odd and a bit complicated, so if this doesn’t make sense, please feel free to message me and ask further questions.

So, we want the doodle to look like it draws itself, right? What you want to do is crop the image so bits of it are added as the frames go on, thus achieving that effect. The key to this is turning layers on and off on the right-hand side, so only certain parts of the image show themselves one after the other.

Firstly, duplicate Layer 1 and turn the original image off. This is a safety in case we mess something up later and need to revert to the original image. Now, crop out the first part of your picture. I’m going to start on the bottom of the crown and work my way around clockwise. Use the marquee tool (I’m using the elliptical one) to cut out one section of the image, then right click and select ‘layer via cut’.

Then turn off the rest of the layer, so you’re only left with this tiny piece:

Now, add a new frame. On the bottom bar there is a button, next to the bin/trash, that looks like a sheet of paper, which says “duplicate frame” if you click on it. Do that. Now is where the turning off and on part comes in. Each layer on the right-hand side corresponds to a frame on the bottom, and you want to build up what is shown in each frame every time.

This is going to involve a lot of duplicating and merging of layers, because I haven’t found a better way to do it currently.

First you want to turn off all the layers when you have Frame 2 selected. When you’re on Frame 1 your tiny piece (Layer 2) should be turned on (you turn layers on and off on the right-hand side, toggling the little eye icon). Like so:

You want to be working with Frame 2 selected for these next parts. Then you want to duplicate the tiny piece layer (so now we have Layer 2 copy). By turning the Layer 1 copy on briefly, you can cut out the next part of your image, so use the marquee tool again to cut out the next little piece. Make sure you have the layer with the rest of the image selected when you do this, otherwise you could be cropping nothing, since the other layers should still be turned off. Once you’ve done that (once again using layer via cut!) you should now have Layer 3. Move this to the top, turn off Layer 1 copy, and turn on Layer 2 copy, like so:

You may not be able to see in the picture, but the two layers aren’t quite touching. Since it doesn’t matter what the original image looks like for the end result of the doodle, you can move Layer 3 in line with your first piece. DO NOT move the original small layer, Layer 2, as then it will be in a different place on Frame 1 and Frame 2, and you’ll have to try to move it back, and that will be a mess. Always adjust the newest layer in line with the previously existing layers so this doesn’t happen.

When you’ve done that, select both Layer 2 copy and Layer 3 at the same time. I usually use the ctrl key to do this, which I think is command on macs, then when you’ve done that, right click on those layers and select merge layers from the menu that appears. They should now be one layer called Layer 3.

The problem is, when you do this in the second frame, it usually turns itself on in the first frame too, which you don’t want. So click on Frame 1, and make sure to toggle Layer 3 off for Frame 1, and on for Frame 2. And the opposite with Layer 2: make sure it is on for Frame 1, and off for Frame 2, like this:

Now, you want to repeat the process. So, add a new frame at the bottom, so you have three frames. Turn all the layers off when Frame 3 is selected. Duplicate Layer 3. Cut out the next piece from Layer 1 copy, and make sure it aligns with the other layers without moving the previous pieces. Merge Layer 3 copy and Layer 4. Make sure Layer 4 is turned off in Frame 1, because the newest layer WILL turn itself on there every time. Go back to Frame 3, and turn Layer 4 on again.

You should have something that is looking like this:

Can you see how all the different layers are corresponding to the different frames? I don’t mean to be patronising at all, so I hope it doesn’t come across that way. I just know that some people don’t understand how frame animation works, so I’m trying to be as clear as possible.

It doesn’t matter if your doodle is moving away from your original image, because you won’t be seeing the original image when the doodle is done, only the doodle. As long as the layers that correspond to your frames aren’t moved during the process, then don’t worry.

Continue to do this until the whole doodle is made, like so:

I ended up with 15 frames, and 16 layers. You can set this to whatever speed you think is best by highlighting all the Frames. If you click the thee little lines on the right-hand side of the frame animation window, a little menu pops up, and there you can select all frames (or hold shift and click on the first and the last frame). From there, you click on the time underneath the frames and adjust it whatever looks best for your gif, 0.05 usually works well.

Now, you want to convert the doodle into one object that you can move. To do this, click on the little lines in the left-hand corner (where the frame animation dots were before), and all the framers will turn into layers in video timeline. Then, to make them all one object, select all the layers at once on the right-hand side, and go to filter > convert for smart filters.

You should now be able to drag your doodle into your header file! Like so:

As you can see, sometimes the doodle isn’t as long as the loop of your gif, but that’s okay. What you can do is use the marquee tool and right click when you’ve selected the doodle, choosing layer via copy. This will create a still image of your doodle, which you can place after it ends to ensure it stays on the header until your gif is ready to loop again, as you can see here:

As you can see here, I decided to make the crown white, since I felt it fit better with the header’s aesthetic. To do that, I inverted the gif and the still shape, and set them both to lighten. I also added a white stroke of 1px just to make it stand out (double click your layer on th right-hand side, and find stroke in the pop up that appears, adjust to your liking!)

I also added another doodle to mine, using the same process as before. Spelling out ‘king steve’ had a lot more layers and frames, but it was the same process. Then I dragged it over, and copied the layer just before it re-looped so I could have it as a still image for a portion of the gif. You may need to duplicate your overlay gif underneath the cap to ensure eveything has enough time to loop properly, like so:

And that’s it really! If you would like to add a divider on top of your header AKA a header template, these are the ones I use (one, two). To add it, open the file and drag it onto your gif file, then place it where you want it to be. Once you’ve done that, set the layer to screen (here is a tutorial from the op) if you want it to be white, or invert the image (image > adjustments > invert) and then set it to darken if you want it to be black. If you want it to be a different colour, you’ll have to cut out the divider from the background image, and then double click the layer to get the style menu. In layer style, you can select ‘colour overlay’ and make it whatever colour you want!

To save your gif, go to file > export > save for web (legacy). It may take a while, so just let ps do its thing until the bar has loaded. You can preview the gif by clicking preview in the bottom left-hand corner, in case you want to cancel and make some changes to your gif before you save it. These are my settings:

And voilà, you have a bright and shiny new gif, doodle, header! If you’d like to use this, you can find it here 💜

#tutorial #header tutorial #tutorial*#resources #headers #chaoticresources #completeresources #yeahps #i hope this helps!!!#thank you to ally @siriusblacks for reading this over for me 🥰

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infinitypassiveincome · 3 years

Text

SociRobotic Review

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Create & Reuse Captions In 1 Click: With this, you can create short captions inside SociRobotic and reuse them over and over and over again any time you want to create a new post.

Add Unlimited Accounts And Group Them By Niche/Businesses: You can create as many accounts as you want inside SociRobotic, and group them according to niches or businesses. And since you’re getting a commercial license with this version of SociRobotic, it means you can create accounts for other businesses as well and help them run their social media activities.

Never Lack Content For Your Social Media Audience: You can integrate RSS feeds from blogs and websites that posts content relevant to your niche. It will pick up those contents when they release it, and share it with your social media audience automatically.

2GB Free Image Storage Included For You: It allows you to save up to 2GB in image files inside the app. With this, you can store up images there so the software can easily pick it up when it wants to make a post for you. You can also import content from Dropbox with ease inside the software.

All The Images You Will Ever Need For Your Social Media Posts: Using images downloaded from Google on your social media posts can get you into trouble. They don’t want that to happen to you, and that’s why they built in over 1 million royalty free images you can use for your social media posts.

Never Miss A Trend; Ride On It To Get More Traffic Using SociRobotic: You can simply enter a keyword within the app to find the trending hashtags for you related to that keyword on Instagram and Twitter. With this you can simply plug it into your posts and get more attention and traffic from your posts.

Post On Your Blog Too Without Logging Into Your WordPress Admin Area: You can connect your blogging platform to SociRobotic and post your articles directly to it without leaving SociRobotic.

2 Inbuilt Photoshop Like Image Editors: It also comes with dozens of templates so you do not need to brainstorm on designs to post etc.

Unlimited Social Media Management: You literally get unlimited use on all the features of SociRobotic on this page NO CAP.

Commercial License Included: Never post boring images ever again, with their inbuilt image editors, you will be able to edit pictures right before you post them on your social media handles.

SociRobotic Review – How does it work?

It’s so simple to use that there are only three steps:

Step 1: Log in to SociRobotic

Step 2: Connect your social media accounts. You can connect as many as you want…no limits

Step 3: Post your content and SociRobotic will push it to 11 social networks for you, bringing you loads of traffic.

It is now the best software for social media management and traffic generation. So sign up for SociRobotic right now. Connect it to the 11 social media sites that are associated with it. Experiment with the many amazing features it contains.

SociRobotic Review – My experience in using it

I have the chance to try using SociRoboticas as a beta user so you can totally trust me with my honest review about my thoughts and experience with this software.

But before that, I would like to walk you through all the fun and powerful features so that you can have a clear overview of the product and what it can really do.

Here I’m inside the SociRobotic Dashboard. It gives you a quick overview of the total number of posts including succeeded posts and failed posts. You can view it in total or in each social media just by choosing from the left column.

In the “Publish all” section, you can write your post from here and publish it to your favorite sites. You can upload any kind of media including photos, videos, links, or text. To post it directly, just click the “Post now” button. Or else you can choose to schedule.

Switching between platforms can be done with ease by just clicking at the icon of the social media you want to post to.

You can do that separately with each social media platform. For example, here I am writing my post for Facebook Also, you are able to add as many accounts as you like.

Similarly with any other platforms including Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin, Tumblr, and Reddit.

As I have mentioned before, you can schedule your posting. Free to check the posting calendar in the Schedules section. Everything is laid out logically, which makes it so easy to keep track.

Another feature that I like is that SociRobotic allows you to upload files from your Drive, Dropbox, or Cloud. You can see all of your files here.

You can also add and write a new caption. Just type in the caption box and click the Submit button below

One more thing that is extremely useful is that you can add watermarks to your post. All you need to do is upload the picture you want to make your watermark, adjust its size, position, transparency and finally save it. Then you have your watermark. How easy and simple.

MY OPINION:

SociRobotic allows you to add multiple profiles from various platforms and schedule social media updates at your leisure or utilizing a queue with times that you set.

You can configure the listening stream to display whatever profiles/hashtags you desire at any given time. From the news feed, you can reply, assign posts, forward posts, retweet, and retweet with comments.

They can also integrate with sponsored adverts, although we don’t utilize them for that. I like that you can view an upcoming post calendar so I can know if there are any holes in our schedule.

The dashboard is simple to use and offers a variety of views, including a calendar, so you can see whether you have a lot of messages that need to be spaced out. The SociRobotic All-Stars Slack channel is another source of information and support.

SociRobotic also has incredibly detailed reporting for each platform, which has given me a better understanding of how our accounts and postings are performing. It’s been quite beneficial. I used to always forget to publish before, but this has made it much easier to prepare ahead!

Who should buy it?

You’re already aware of SociRobotic’s ability to assist you with your internet business. It doesn’t matter if you’re a marketer, a realtor, a coach, or if you sell digital downloads, eCommerce products, or other services.

However, if you truly wanted to boost SociRobotic’s earning potential and establish a separate full-time income with only part-time effort, you could use SociRobotic to run your own posting service for both online and offline businesses.

Pros and Cons

SociRobotic Review – Pros:

Simple Yet Powerful User Interface

Easy To Use Graphic Ready Made Templates

Emoji Library To Make Your Posts Pop

Track Everything From One Dashboard

Create Amazing Looking Blog Posts

Upload Video and Images To Increase Engagement

Send Email To Multiple Contacts In One Click

Commercial Agency License Included

SociRobotic Review – Cons:

So far, there are no downsides for SociRobotic. My experience using SociRobotic has been flawless.

Price and Evaluation

FE (SociRobotic Pro – $21/$27):

One-Click Posting on Facebook pages, Facebook groups, Instagram, Linkedin, Twitter, Pinterest, Telegram and YouTube (plus Reddit) 8 Social Media Platforms

Facebook Group (Admin) & Page Posting

Reach 6.7 Billion Active users on Major Platforms

Organic Leads Without The Need To Advertise

Connect Unlimited Social Media Accounts

Schedule and Post Unlimited Posts Monthly

Create Unlimited Social Media Graphics Using Our Next Gen Image & Graphics Editors

2GB File Manager for Media Upload

Easy Media File Browsing

Drag-And-Drop Social Media Account Group Manager

Social Media Post Preview

Next-Gen Image Editors

Text, Link, Image & Video Posting

Captions Library for Your Favorite Post Captions

Clear Reporting per Social Media Platform

Post Planner for Queued, Published and Unpublished Posts

Instagram Story & Carrousel Posts with Geo Targeting

Commercial License for Sale of Commercial Products

Connect Unlimited Social Media Accounts

30-Day Money Back Guarantee

SociRobotic OTO 1 (SociRobotic Agency – $47):

Your Own Dashboard to Add & Manage Team/Clients

Complete User Management Ability

User Activity Reporting

SociRobotic Max Functionality to Publish on the 11 BIGGEST Social Media Platforms

An All In One Agency Suite that gives you 360 degrees management of your agency. From invoices to quotes to billing etc.

A Website to Gain New Local Business Clients (Including Instructions on how to deploy it)

A Sales Video Presentation you can easily edit with your logo and agency details.

A Professional PowerPoint Presentation For Your Sales Meetings

A Work Agreement Template

SociRobotic OTO 2 (SociRobotic DFY – $197):

We will brainstorm an agency name for you.

We will design a unique logo for you.

We will set up your agency website with all you need to get started.

We will set up your client manager account with your agency details.

SociRobotic OTO 3 (SociRobotic Whitelabel – $497):

We will set up SociRobotic on your own server with all our sales materials customized to fit your new software.

Conclusion

This is the end of my SociRobotic Review. I hope it will give you some useful insights about the product and how it can leverage your business. Don’t hesitate and click the sales button now to own such a great product and upgrade your business. Lastly, if you like this product or have any comments/questions, leave them below and let me know!

NOTE: THIS IS THE SPECIAL DEAL FROM ME: I Will Support You Whenever You Want. (Just Add My Skype: rick.nguyen61). If You Buy This Product From My Site, You Can Ask Me Anything You Want.

https://youtu.be/2q76-LjaGDE

#SociRobotic Whitelabel

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writerforfun · 3 years

Text

Book cover: Do It Right,

CHECK THIS OVER!

I'm not good at this either, so lets work on it together.

I have added videos and tips to help you.

#1 Cover Power

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Focus on the emotion, not the details. Authors get too caught up in the exact details of the book, and they want their cover to match. But readers who haven’t read the book yet don’t care about those details. It’s much better to use a strong, powerful cover that gets them reading the book than to use a less powerful but more accurate one.

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Find the best picture you can. Start with a beautiful picture and the rest will be much easier. Get a picture that represents the emotional experience your book is promising – if it’s a thriller, the picture should be dark and scary; if a romance, it should be light and romantic.

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Use the right colors. You can easily change the color scheme of any picture by adding a color wash or gradient over the top – easy to do in Photoshop or with my online design tool. Each color evokes certain universal emotions, which is why certain genres will usually use its own palette. Take good images and make them even more powerful by adding strong colors.

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Use contrast. Use lots of contrast between light and dark, but also color contrasts – take a look at a color wheel to see color opposites that harmonize well. Green and red and hard to pull off without looking Christmasy – but teal and orange are always winners, and purple and yellow can also work. Red only goes well with whites and blacks. You can use a vignette effect around the edges to get that extra “pop.”

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Avoid bevel and drop shadow. The #1 indicator of an unprofessional cover is heavy bevel or dropshadow effects on your text. Amateur designers usually add it because they don’t know how else to make their text stand out against the background art.

First of all, your cover text doesn’t need to be as bold as you think it needs to be. Professional book designs have text with natural contrast but still with patches where the text may not be super clear. That’s fine. “Needs to be legible as a thumbnail” is a myth – your cover will also be displayed online right by its title in clear print. Having an impactful cover is more important than having text that is easy to read.

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Choose your emphasis. A lot of authors aren’t sure whether to stress their series title, book title or author name. You can’t stress everything. Almost always, stress the title and have the series title very small. You can’t give readers so much information that they’re distracted from the images – because the image is what should be causing that emotional gut reaction. Hook their interest first, then they’ll click the thumb to read all the details. But they aren’t going to try and figure everything out if your cover hasn’t already hooked their hearts somehow.

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Don’t be interesting. A lot of authors think they need to be novel, different or interesting to stand out or surprise readers. For almost all genres, that’s a big mistake. Readers have developed genre expectations; they’ve gotten used to how books in their favorite genres are ‘supposed’ to look. For non-fiction, it’s OK to have a very interesting central image, but that’s because it’s expected for that genre. If you’re famous, and have a million people ready to buy your book, you can do whatever you want with your cover. But for the rest of us, your cover is the advertisement – it’s probably the first and only thing potential readers will ever see of your book; and if it isn’t good enough to punch them in the stomach or pull at their heartstrings, they’ll never even read the summary. Don’t take risky chances. Make the cover tell readers very clearly the genre, setting and major conflict.

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No collages. Authors usually think in terms of a “scene” – so they ask designers to make them this specific episode from the book. That’s very hard to pull off with stock photography and Photoshop, and will probably look bad. It’s also hard to match characters exactly. Don’t cram in 5 characters all doing something with their unique superpowers and pets and clothing, being chased by their nemesis. It’s almost always better to go simple, with one or two main characters (or none) with one main background behind them for setting.

Remember, it’s always better to make a powerful emotional impact than to be accurate.

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Should you use stock photography? In my opinion, yes, always, because it’s usually good quality. Illustration or art doesn’t work well except in some non-fiction, children’s books or chick-lit. The danger is that other authors are going to use the same photo – that’s true, but in my experience it’s better to use a great photo that sells more books than it is to use something unique but weak. Just search the top 40 or so in your categories to make sure nobody else is using the photo you chose. Also, you shouldn’t really use a stock photo exactly as is, with no changes, especially if it’s something special like a vampire image. Especially if it’s amazing, a lot of other people are going to use it. It’s better to find a model and turn them into a vampire with Photoshop (you can hire someone to do that for you).good

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Happy Writing!

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justforbooks · 3 years

Photo

The Lisa Computer System – Apple designs a new kind of machine

Gregg Williams Senior Editor

I had an interesting conversation with an engineer on a recent flight from San Francisco to New York. He knew only a little about microcomputers, but he was aware that their presence is slowly becoming more common in the workplace. “Sure, the industry is healthy, but it’s still only reaching a few people,” he said. “Most people won’t use computers they’re afraid of them, they don’t know what to use them for, or it’s too much trouble to use them. Before computers become really profitable, they’re going to have to be very easy to use. They have to be simpler. They’ve got to be useful in the office.”

He continued, “We’ve got to stop using paper which means the computer has to do word processing, filing, electronic mail, everything or it’ll be too much trouble having some things on the computer and others on paper. Then you’ve got to be able to talk to other computers other computers like yours and some big corporate computer that’s halfway across the country. Sure, it’s a lot of stuff, but when you get all that together, then you’ll see computers really take off.” What could I say? Not very much, for two reasons. First, he was absolutely right we need all that and more before computers become as commonplace as color TVs and electric typewriters. Second, I had agreed not to talk about a computer I had just seen that meets many of his points: Apple Computer’s highly secret Lisa computer (see photo 1).

The Lisa at Work

Before we take a detailed look at what the Lisa is and how it came about, let’s look at an example of what it can do. Suppose I’m writing a report for my boss and I want to prepare a chart to illustrate a certain point. With a few movements of the mouse (more on this pointing device later), I “tear off” a sheet of Lisa Graph “paper” (thus activating a program called Lisa Calc and displaying an empty grid on the screen) and give it the heading “Annual Sales.” I then type my numbers into the grid, name the graph and the x and y axes, and request a bar graph.

Voila: I get the bar graph (superimposed on top of the data) shown in photo 2a. At this point, I can simply print the graph or save it for inclusion with my report, but I’m not satisfied with the way it looks. I then use the mouse to “cut” the graph from the Lisa Graph paper and put it in a temporary storage place called the clipboard. I can then “throw away” the Lisa Graph “paper” I was using.

My next step is to “tear off” a sheet of Lisa Calc “paper” and paste my “Annual Sales” bar chart from the clipboard onto it. Photo 2b shows the result.

I want to make the bars darker, so I use the mouse to move the cursor (the arrow pointing diagonally up in photo 2b) onto the rectangle and tell the computer that I want to work on that bar by clicking the button on top of the mouse twice. (I could almost as easily have selected all four bars, but I’ll just do one here.) As a result, the bar is selected, as shown in photo 2c. (In the Lisa system, you first select what you want to work on, then you select the action you want performed.) The small black squares that appear on the edge of the object are called handles; not only do they show which object has been selected, they also serve as “handles” by which the cursor can move or alter a shape.

Now that the bar is selected, I move the cursor to one of the menu titles at the top of the screen (also shown in photo 2c). I see the menu of possible actions by pointing the cursor at the menu title and holding down the mouse button (photo 2d). Here, the menu is a grid of 36 varieties of shading that can be used to fill the selected area. When I move the cursor to the desired shade box and let up on the mouse button, the pop-up menu, as it is called, disappears and the shading fills the box (photo 2e).

It is equally simple to change the size, type style, and position of the title “Gross Sales.” By holding down the mouse button when the cursor points just to the left of the first letter and letting it up when the cursor points just past the last letter, I can select an area of text that the Lisa then puts in reverse video (photo 2f). When I select an option from the ‘Type Style” menu (photo 2g), the text is redisplayed in its new size and style (photo 2h). I then modify the title to an italic font in a similar way (photo 2i). Finally, I pick up the title with the cursor, “drag” it to a new location, and leave it there (photo 2j). Many other alterations are possible. When I’m satisfied with the graph, I can print it, save it, or do both.

This example conveys only a fraction of the speed and the ease of use associated with the Lisa computer and the programs that go with it. Now that we’ve seen the system at work, let’s take a look at what makes it so different.

Foundations of the Lisa Design

The design effort that resulted in the Lisa computer is remarkably innovative because the designers did what designers should do define the product’s prospective customers, determine their needs, and then design a product to meet those needs. Apple was also willing to give its designers enough time and money (with no marketing restrictions attached) to first design and then create a computer that redefines the expression “state of the art.” Granted, the Lisa’s designers drew heavily on previous work done at Xerox PARC (Palo Alto Research Center), but they refined several borrowed elements and combined them with numerous innovations. (For further information on the design process, see “An Interview with Wayne Rosing, Bruce Daniels, and Larry Tesler” on page 90.) Apple started this project with the intention of creating not only a product but the foundation for a whole new computer technology, one that would create computers literally anybody can use. The company’s first task was to devise a new user interface that is, a new and better way for humans to interact with the computer. The result was an internal (to Apple Computer Inc.) “User Interface Standards” document that describes how a user interacts with the Lisa system.

Although the Lisa design has several important elements, four stand out: the machine’s graphics-mouse orientation, the “desktop” and “data-as-concrete-object” metaphors, and the integrated design of the hardware and software. Let’s look at each of these in turn.

The graphics-mouse orientation: The traditional text display and keyboard input device make for a computer that is let’s face it not too easy to use. Apple decided that the graphics resolution of the machine had to be high enough to use pictures (often called icons by Apple) in place of text. (For example, see the icons on the right-hand side of photo 2a.) Pictures are more easily recognized and understood than text. Because of this, you can probably figure out that the garbage-can icon in photo 2a is used to throw something away.

Apple also knew that it needed a new, easier-to-use input device to move the frequently used arrow-shaped cursor. The designers passed over such devices as light pens and touch-sensitive video panels in favor of the mouse, a pointing device used in several Xerox PARC machines. The mouse, which is about the size of a pack of cigarettes, has a small bearing on the bottom and one or more buttons on the top (see photo 3). When you hold it in your hand and slide it across a flat surface, the mouse sends signals to the computer, which guide the video cursor in the direction that you’ve moved the mouse. The mouse Apple designed has only one button; Apple broke with the conventional wisdom of two- and three-button mice after user tests indicated that people aren’t always sure which button to push on a multiple-button mouse.

With graphics of sufficient quality and a mouse, the Lisa lets you get what you want by pointing at it. Because the video cursor moves in direct response to the way the hand moves the mouse, you feel as if you’re actually pointing at something on the screen. This has the positive psychological effect of making you feel in control.

The “desktop” metaphor: When you turn on the Lisa system, the screen is empty except for the presence of several icons. The Lisa computer depends on the metaphor that the video display is a desktop, while the icons are objects on the desktop. Each peripheral connected to the Lisa (floppy and hard disks, printers, and other peripherals connected by interface cards) is represented on the desktop by either an icon (if it is not in use) or a rectangular area called a window (if it is available for use). The Lisa computer normally replaces the conventional file directory with a collection of objects displayed in the window of the associated mass-storage device. Each file is represented by an object of some sort usually a report, a tool, or a document and objects can be grouped together in folders, which are also treated as objects. (Actually, the computer can give you a conventional directory on request, but only traditional computer users will ask for this option.) An example of the Lisa file system will illustrate how useful this metaphor is. From a cleaned-up desktop with nothing but icons on the right of the screen, I use the mouse to point to the Profile (hard disk) icon and click the mouse button twice; this has the effect of “opening” the Profile and displaying its contents. The Profile icon changes to a white silhouette and its original black-on-white shape expands to a window named “Profile.” ( Photo 4a was taken after three items shown as black icons had been selected for manipulation. When the Profile icon is first opened, all of the icons inside it are white that is, unselected.) To view and then work with the contents of the Tools folder, I put the cursor on the folder and click the mouse button twice. The icon expands, leaving a gray silhouette and a window named “Tools,” as shown in photo 4b. The window is just that a window into whatever the Tools folder contains. The symbols on the margin of each window are points from which the cursor can direct several operations on the window. For example, when the cursor points to the small folder icon in the upper left-hand corner of the Tools window and the mouse button is clicked twice, the folder “closes” and the video display reverts to the image it had before the folder was opened.

If the Tools folder contains more than the window can show, you can do one of two things to see the additional contents. First, you can scroll the window either horizontally or vertically. Second, you can put the cursor on the expand/contract icon (in the lower right-hand corner of the window), hold down the mouse button, and move the cursor. An outline of the window follows the cursor (photo 4c); when the mouse button is released, the window grows to its new size (photo 4d).

Once you’ve been shown the mechanics of manipulating objects and windows, you have a working knowledge of several essential operations of the Lisa file system (called the “Desktop Manager”). The desktop metaphor does two things for you. It helps you to remember certain operations because they make sense in the context of the object-related icons. Second, it draws on your general knowledge of office supplies and how they are used. These elements help Apple achieve its objective of creating a system that people can learn to use some aspect of in under 30 minutes.

The “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor: More than anything else, this metaphor is the foundation of the Lisa computer design and its probable success. As you can see from the example above, the Lisa file system makes you feel as if you are actually moving and changing objects, not merely manipulating abstract data. The Lisa Graph/Lisa Draw example shown in photos 2a through 2j creates the same illusion, as do all the other Lisa application programs.

The “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor depends on a condition most computer programs don’t fulfill: that intuitively reasonable operations can be performed on objects at any time. Most computer programs have modes that restrict your activities at any given time; for example, many word-processing programs don’t let you do numeric calculations and then incorporate them into the document you’re writing. With the Lisa application programs, however, you can switch your attention from a sheet of Lisa Write “paper” to a sheet of Lisa Calc “paper” and back with no problem, just as you could if they were two sheets of paper on your desk.

Because you deal with recognizable objects such as folders and reports, you feel secure in the knowledge that your data will not disappear. “After all,” it seems to be telling you, “computer files can mysteriously disappear, but folders, reports, and tools do not. If a file disappears, there’s a logical explanation â€” either you threw it away or you filed it elsewhere. In either case, the situation is still under your control.” In other words, the “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor demystifies the computer by transforming data into physical objects that behave in a predictable and reasonable way.

Integrated design: Not only is the Lisa computer the result of an integrated design, it is also the result of an iterated one. The Lisa hardware and software were designed only after Apple had identified the needs of its target users. Once a given version of the system was implemented, it was tested by the kind of people who would eventually be using it. The test findings dictated hardware and software changes, and Apple went through the design/test/revise cycle several times until everybody was satisfied with the result. This ensures that the Lisa does not fall prey to a problem common to microcomputers: being technologically sophisticated, but still hard or inconvenient to use.

During the iterations of the design process, the Apple design team looked for opportunities to have separate Lisa programs do their tasks in the same way. It then incorporated these common operating procedures into the Apple user-interface standard and tried to apply them to other Lisa programs. The result is a large amount of common behavior and structure among all the Lisa programs. For example, you enlarge or move a window the same way whether it is a Lisa Calc window or a Lisa Draw window. You also open, close, copy, and rename objects the same way throughout the system.

According to Apple, this attempt at standardization has two advantages. First, it shortens the time an average person takes to become comfortable with a system from a range of 20 to 40 hours (Apple’s estimate, based on tests it conducted) to several hours. Second, it lets you apply what you learn in one program to all other programs.

This commonality among Lisa programs is largely ‘ responsible for the ease with which beginners learn how to do something useful on the Lisa computer; it usually takes less than half an hour, even for people who have never sat in front of a computer before.

The Lisa Application Programs

The Lisa system will be offered with six application programs. Both new packages and improved versions of the first six programs will be offered at a later date, and in time third-party software developers working with cooperation from Apple will create additional programs. At this writing, no price had been set for the programs, but Apple expects them to cost between $300 and $500 each, a justifiable price for programs of this caliber.

I don’t have room here to describe all the features of each program. Instead, I will comment briefly on each one and say that, in general, all of them have more options and features than most people will use. (See photos in which popup menus are visible for an idea of some of the commands available.) One in particular deserves mention: the “Undo Last Change” command, which is available in every program. This wonderful command lets you undo the effects of the last one you issued. It’s a tremendous security blanket that enables you to experiment and work without worrying about making an irrevocable mistake.

Here are the six application programs (a telecommunications program, Lisa Terminal, is covered in the section on “Communications and Databases.”): Lisa Draw is easily the showpiece of the Lisa system. The example in photos 2b through 2j shows only a small part of what it can do. See photos 2d, 2g, and 5a through 5d for some of the pop-up menus. Lisa Draw enables you to draw lines, boxes, circles and * ellipses, arcs, and polygons all with the mouse. You can add text at any place in any of 11 typeface/size combinations. In addition, you can modify any typeface with any combination of underline, bold, italic, hollow, and shadow styles for a combination of 11 X 25 or 352 distinct kinds of type. Lisa Draw has grids and rulers that can be displayed to help make drawings neat. Shapes can be selected and centered by a given horizontal or vertical edge. You also put Lisa Draw in an “auto-grid” mode that causes lines and shapes to align themselves with the grid you have chosen. Drawings can cover as many as 25 pages; Lisa Draw prints them out a page at a time and you join the edges together to make a larger drawing a convenient feature if your drawing can’t fit on one page. This program is a joy to use.

Lisa Write is the best “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” word processor I’ve seen. Between the keyboard and the mouse, you can add, change, delete, and move text, change its appearance, reformat it, and do just about anything you’d want to in a word processor. Of course, you can see each page exactly as it will appear on paper (see photo 6). My only criticism of the program is that the version I saw paused a second or so between when I typed a phrase and when it appeared on the screen. The delay is due to the large amount of processing the machine has to do before it can display the new text (and perhaps scroll other text down), but the designers are aware of the problem and are working on minimizing the time delay in the final version.

Lisa Project is used to keep track of projects and personnel, and it does so using PERT (Program Evaluation and Review Technique), Gantt, and task charts. Using the mouse and the keyboard, you can add, delete, move, change, and label activity boxes. Each box contains the activity name and its personnel and time requirements. The Lisa Project program displays the PERT chart (see photo 7a), drawing a heavy outline around the activity boxes on the critical path (a path of activities for which delays will lengthen the duration of the project). The program can also optionally use such information as worker vacation times and the length of the work week to influence the final chart. You can also have the program show the early-start, early-finish, late-start, and late-finish dates associated with the PERT method. The Gantt chart (photo 7b) shows resource utilization over time, including unutilized resources (shown in gray). The task chart (not shown) displays tasks by their early-start date.

Like the rest of the Lisa system, Lisa Project gives you incredibly clear error messages. For example, when you try to take the “end” circle off the screen, you get the error shown in photo 7c, which must be answered before you can continue.

Lisa Calc is as sophisticated a spreadsheet program as any other on the market. In this instance, I don’t think the mouse improves on cursor keys because one hand has to alternate between the mouse (to move the spreadsheet cursor) and the keyboard (to enter data into the spreadsheet cells). In any case, most people who want a Lisa computer are interested in the kind of structured numeric recalculation that spreadsheets are good at, and Lisa Calc certainly fills this need. Of course, data can be traded between Lisa Calc and other Lisa programs without restriction, which means, for example, that you can “paste” a section of spreadsheet data into a document being prepared by Lisa Write. Photos 8a and 8b show the process of displaying the formula of each cell along with its value.

Lisa List, a single-user database that permits records of up to 100 fields totaling 1000 bytes, probably illustrates best the “data-as-concrete-object” metaphor. When you add, change, or search for records, you work directly on the list visible in the window, not on an auxiliary display (like a data-entry screen) that limits you to working on the current record only. Record fields are defined as being one of eight data types (text, number, date, money, time, social-security number, phone number, or zip code), and Lisa List does automatic type-checking during data entry. Photo 9 shows an example of a Lisa List window. One slight problem is that the social-security number, phone number, and zip code fields have fixed formats for example, zip codes are limited to five digits. You must revert to the general-purpose text format if you want to be able to convert to 9-digit zip codes or use foreign telephone numbers.

Lisa List has many attractive features. Of course, you can display or print parts of the list in many ways; you can sort the list in several ways or select records according to given criteria. You can move the cursor with either the mouse or the arrow keys. The contents of fields are stored internally in a compact form to increase the overall storage capacity of the program. In addition, Lisa List has two very useful features that every database should have: the ability to add fields to or change field widths in an existing file and the ability to put any amount of information in a field regardless of its stated width (field width influences only how much data is visible).

Lisa Graph is an application program that creates a bridge between the number-oriented Lisa Calc and the picture-oriented Lisa Draw. Lisa Graph takes a matrix of numbers (entered either by the user from Lisa Graph or transferred from another source) and creates virtually instantly a bar, line, mixed bar and line, scatter (x-y plot), or pie chart. Photo 2a shows a typical Lisa Graph window, and the sequence of photos 2a through 2j shows how Lisa Draw can customize a drawing from Lisa Graph.

Reliability

Computers are worthless if nobody uses them, and the i Lisa system has made great strides toward eliminating that possibility. Certainly, it has been designed to be easy to use. But the Lisa system will probably be used by computer novices because of its reliability, both in the physical and psychological sense.

Physical reliability is the kind that makes an engineer feel secure. Apple IIs, for instance, have a reputation for being very reliable, and I’m sure that the Lisa computer was engineered with even more care. (For example, the Lisa is constructed as a series of modules, any one of which you can pull out without tools. And despite its internal complexity, it was engineered to dissipate excess heat without a cooling fan that’s engineering!) I can’t say how reliable the Lisa is overall because I don’t have enough direct experience with it. But I do know that Apple has concentrated on improving the reliability of the source of a great many problems: the floppy disk. Despite the features of the Lisa disk drive that put it at the leading edge of disk technology (see the text box “The Lisa Hardware” for more details), Apple claims that the hardware (assisted by its sophisticated disk-accessing software) has an error rate so low that Apple couldn’t quantify it during tests. Apple said, however, that the hardware makes less than one error in one trillion (1012) operations.

Apple has also adopted a redundant data structure for information on the disk that lessens (or sometimes eliminates) the effect of losing a sector of information. This redundancy is on three levels blocks, files, and The Lisa Hardware.

Reporting on the technical specifications of a computer toward the end of an article is unusual for BYTE, but it emphasizes that the why of Lisa is more important than the what. For part of the market, at least, the Lisa computer will change the emphasis of microcomputing from “How much RAM does it have?” to “What can it do for me?” For example, it is almost misleading to say that the Lisa comes with one megabyte of RAM, even though the fact itself is true. That doesn’t mean that the Lisa is sixteen times better than machines that have 64K bytes of RAM. Nor does it necessarily mean that the Lisa can work on much larger data files than other computers; its application programs each take 200K to 300K bytes, which significantly reduces the memory available for data. It’s more instructive to say, for example, that the Lisa with one megabyte can hold a 100-row by 50-column spreadsheet (as its advertisements state). With this in mind, let’s take a look at the Lisa.

“Lisa” stands for Local Integrated Software Architecture, but it’s really just an excuse to retain Apple’s pet name for the project. The Lisa has a 68000 microprocessor, which is a true 16-bit microcomputer that has a 16-bit data bus, a 24-bit address bus (giving access to 16 megabytes of memory), and 32-bit-wide registers (all but the 16-bit status register). The 68000 in the Lisa runs at a frequency of 5 MHz. It can have up to 1 megabyte of memory with parity and comes standard with one megabyte (1024K bytes).

The video display is a 12-inch monochrome monitor (black and white, not tinted) with a resolution of 720 by 364 pixels. The interlaced image is refreshed at 60 Hz, which eliminates the possibility of eyestrain from subliminal flickering. The video display is completely generated by internal software, so the Lisa can use multiple character sizes and fonts without restriction. It also means that Apple is not restricted to any one style of video image; the designers can radically change the behavior of the system with a new release of software.

The Apple 871 disk drives design (called “twiggy drives” inside the company) are significantly different from conventional floppy-disk drives. Each one uses a 6504 microprocessor as a “smart” interface between it and the Lisa. The drives use special high-density, double-sided floppy disks that have two oval cutouts in the jacket (see photo below). These are essential because the two disk heads, in addition to being on opposite sides of the flat magnetic media, are not pointed at each other with the magnetic media between them, as is the case in all other double-sided floppy-disk drives. Instead, a pad presses the rotating magnetic media to the disk head on the opposite side of the media as is conventionally done with single-headed floppy disks.

Each formatted disk holds 860K bytes of information at a density of 62.5 tracks per inch; together the two drives (standard on the Lisa) hold 1.72 megabytes of data. Each drive also contains a mechanism that releases the disk for removal under program control, which prevents the user from removing a floppy disk prematurely. As with other Apple products, the floppy disks rotate only when the drives are reading or writing data, thus extending the lives of both the drives and the medium.

Apple has done several things to achieve its unusually high data density. The designers used an encoding scheme that keeps a constant data density of 10,000 bits per linear inch; this allows the outer floppy-disk tracks, which have a larger circumference, to store more data than the tracks nearest the center of the disk. In addition, the disk-access system software can move the disk heads in fractions of a track width to search for and find the middle of the track. That’s an important feature when you’re reading disks with small variations in track width.

In addition, the Lisa comes with one Profile (Apple’s 5-1/4-inch Winchester-type hard disk) to the Lisa through its parallel port. It adds 5 megabytes of magnetic storage to the Lisa system, and speeds up the overall operation of the system. Additional Profiles can be added via interface cards.

The Lisa computer is never really turned off. It stores “system preferences” (things like speaker volume and video contrast) and system-configuration information inside the computer. Even when it is turned “off,” it draws enough power to keep the clock/calendar and CMOS memory containing the above information working. When it’s unplugged (for example, when it’s being moved to another location), internal batteries preserve the clock/calendar status and CMOS memory for up to 20 hours.

The Lisa includes two programmable serial ports and one parallel port as well as three expansion-board slots, each of which connects directly to the system bus and has direct memory access (DMA) capabilities. Because none of these slots is filled in any “basic” configuration of the Lisa, they are available for future expansion (unlike the IBM Personal Computer’s five slots, most or all of which are used for much-needed video-display and memory cards). Other features include a built-in speaker and a real-time clock (which can be programmed to execute tasks or turn the computer itself on or off at a given time), a microprocessor-controlled detachable Selectric-style keyboard, and a mouse.

I must thank Apple for including something I’ve wanted to see for a long time: unique serial numbers encoded into memory. The Lisa has two of these: an actual serial number disks and a given level in error is correctable by data in the next lower level. On the block level, each 512-byte block of data has a 24-byte area of hint bytes. These identify the file to which the block belongs and its block number within the file. On the file level, each file contains a header that duplicates information in the disk catalog. On the disk level, each floppy disk keeps a file of information about the status of each file on the disk. The Lisa system software automatically tries to reconstruct information that is lost, so it recovers from errors that would halt other computers.

Psychological reliability is the kind that makes an office worker secure. The Lisa floppy-disk drive is unique in this respect. On the Lisa computer, you can’t yank your floppy disk out any time you want to (if you could, you might, for example, remove the disk before files on it are updated). Instead, you press the Disk Request button beside the disk-drive slot. The software in the Lisa computer checks your work space, closes any files belonging to that disk (thus updating the file), then ejects the floppy disk so you can remove it.

A similar thing happens when you turn the Lisa “off” (actually, it’s never completely off; it just goes into a low-power mode). In any case, when you hit Off button, system software automatically closes all open files, thus transferring the information in them to their respective floppy disks, and releases the disks from the Lisa disk drives. In addition, the software records the status of the “desktop” so that, when the computer is reactivated, Lisa automatically returns it to the appearance and state it was in when the Lisa was turned “off.” Although those who have worked with computers before will find these features hard to get used to, most newcomers will be reassured by them.

The design of the Lisa application programs (which are the only things most Lisa users will see) is another example of psychological reliability. Many people have vague fears of computer programs because they think they’ll do something wrong and cause a catastrophe that will make them look foolish. This won’t happen with the Lisa system for two reasons. First, the Lisa software is designed to be very understandable. The metaphors make people comfortable with the manipulation of data, error messages are both clear and complete and tell you what alternatives you have, and, in general, the programs let you know where you stand and the consequences of a given action. Second, the Lisa computer has the “Undo Last Change” command mentioned earlier. With this command, even the most uncertain users will not hesitate to act in a way they think is appropriate. The way Lisa programs work, the user probably is right, and if he isn’t, he knows he can undo whatever happens. People who won’t trust most computer programs will trust Lisa programs.

Communications and Databases

As the engineer I talked to pointed out, no computer is going to be the most important piece of equipment in an office unless it can easily interact with other computers. This need has been integrated into the design of the Lisa system in several ways.

First, a communications program called Lisa Terminal allows the Lisa computer to emulate several popular terminals (Digital Equipment Corporation’s VT52 and VT100 terminals and Teletype Corporation’s ASR-33). The Lisa Terminal program includes all the options that a given terminal allows, even down to simulated status lights. A future Apple terminal program will enable the Lisa to emulate the IBM 3270 family of terminals.

Second, Lisa computers can be connected together via a new local network called Apple Net, which Apple hopes to promote as an industry standard because it feels that other networks have major cost or performance problems. According to Apple, Apple Net meets four criteria that it thinks are important: it can be easily installed by the user, it is highly reliable, it is easily extendable to include more nodes or to interface with other networks (like Ethernet and other Apple Net networks), and it has a low per-node (under $500) cost. A-Net has a bandwidth of 1 megabit per second, can have up to 128 nodes, uses a shielded two-conductor wire for interconnecting nodes, and can have a maximum node-to-node distance of 2200 feet. Apple Net uses the same method as Ethernet to avoid message collisions (CSMA/CD carrier-sense, multiple access with collision detection) and is compatible with the Ethernet on the top five of the seven levels of communication protocol. For those who want it, though, Apple will also make Ethernet interfaces available at a cost of about $1500 per node.

Third, Apple has distant plans to make it possible for Lisa computers to talk to non-Lisa computers and to shared or remote databases. Although the people at Apple did not discuss specific products, they told me enough to assure me that they are planning extensions in this direction that will make it even more useful.

When these items are available for the Lisa, Apple will have overcome a very big problem: really integrating the computer into the full office environment. That usually includes both local and remote computers. Whatever the needs of a given office, the above products ensure that the Lisa computer will be as useful as any other “office automation” product available from other companies.

Service

The people I talked to at Apple made it clear that, with regard to Lisa, they were going to offer better service options than any other computer company, including IBM, DEC (Digital Equipment Corporation), and Wang. A diagnostic program called Lisa Test (supplied with the Lisa) enable it to isolate the computer failure to a single board or component; in the case of severe problems (when the disk drives aren’t working, for example), a built-in test program that runs whenever the Lisa is turned on will diagnose and report on the problem. As I mentioned before, the Lisa is designed so that you can take it apart without tools (a detailed manual explains how).

Apple offers several service options. If you have on-site service (available through a joint agreement with RCA), you simply call Apple and let a service person fix the problem. For large-quantity customers, Apple can provide training to teach employees how to do in-house repairs. For individuals, Apple Care Carry-In Service is available.

In addition, Apple is planning what it calls Direct Phone Support. For a yearly fee, the user will have access to a toll-free number that is answered by a highly trained support person. Apple has high standards for this service, and I’m sure that, once the service has started and is running smoothly, Apple will deliver what it promises. The company expects its representatives to answer 90 percent of the calls received; people whose problems cannot be answered immediately will be called back when the answer is found. If equipment needs to be repaired, the Direct Phone Support person will call the appropriate repair people and dispatch working modules, so that one call will usually solve the problem. Different support-option plans available will range from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekday service to 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week call-in support. Apple also plans to provide software revisions and support through this option, although details had not been decided on at this writing.

Documentation and Training

I have seen only drafts of miscellaneous pieces of Lisa documentation, but they indicate that the final documentation will be superb. Apple plans to provide the Lisa Guide, an interactive teaching program about the Lisa system, and reference books for each application package; each reference book will begin with a short tutorial section that will get users doing useful tasks in under half an hour. Other documentation may be included, but the information was not available at the time we went to press.

Even though the Lisa is meant to be a very easy product to use, Apple will provide training to make sure that people learn how to use it. As one Apple spokesperson put it, “Training is part of the Lisa product.” Apple will offer extensive training to all Apple dealers and to selected groups from companies that make large-volume Lisa purchases. Apple will also make training kits available to multiple-unit purchasers to help them train their employees. Individual Apple dealers may offer additional special training.

Future Plans

In the microcomputer industry, products are generally announced early (sometimes before they are designed) and released in preliminary versions before all the features have been integrated into them. Apple is to be commended for resisting this practice. In fact, the company seems to have released a more complete first version of the Lisa than most companies do with their products; the first Lisa sold will be a fine machine.

However, the ambitious and talented people who designed and implemented the Lisa computer have already envisioned and planned for quite a bit more than they can implement by release date. I’m sure they have some ideas they don’t want to publicize (and rightly so), but here are some things they were willing to talk about: By 1984, Apple plans to replace its 512K-byte memory card (two of which can be fitted into the Lisa computer) with 1-megabyte cards, thus increasing the memory capacity from 1 to 2 megabytes.

As soon as possible, Apple plans to introduce versions of BASIC, Pascal, and COBOL for the Lisa. The BASIC will be compatible with Digital Equipment Corporation’s BASIC Plus (unlike IBM Personal Computer BASIC, it will be able to use the extra memory above the first 64K bytes). The first releases of these languages will be “plain vanilla” versions that don’t interact with the computer’s special features (e.g., mouse control of the cursor, windows, the “desktop” metaphor), but later versions will probably integrate these languages into the Lisa system. Another language that will be available for the Lisa computer is Smalltalk. I was pleased to see Smalltalk working on a Lisa computer a year and a half has passed since our special Smalltalk issue in August 1981, and no commercially available computer to date has used it. Smalltalk on the Lisa computer will change that. It is a very “possessive” language that directly controls the machine it is implemented on, so it will probably never be integrated into the Lisa environment but then, it doesn’t need to be.

Smalltalk is just one example of a language/operating system that can occupy the Lisa machine. The Lisa will also support Digital Research’s CP/M family of operating systems and Microsoft’s Xenix (a licensed version of Unix that includes business-related extensions). Outside developers will be encouraged to carry operating systems acrossâ€”one such possibility is Softech Microsystems’ UCSD p-system.

Apple will be making enhancements to the existing Lisa application programs. On first release, the only limitation in sharing data among Lisa application programs is that you won’t be able to “paste” graphic images into a Lisa Word text document (you can, however, add text to a Lisa Draw drawing). Bruce Daniels, one of the Lisa designers, told me that the design allows for adding graphics to a text document but that they simply can’t implement the feature in time for the first software release. It will be added by the next release.

Apple is very conscious of the fact that the success of the Lisa will be heavily influenced by the availability of good third-party software. To encourage such software, the company will make available a “programmer’s toolkit” package of software and documentation sometime this year. This toolkit will give third-party programmers all the information they need to build on the considerable utility software (window-control, disk-accessing, intelligent graphic-redrawng, and memory-management routines, for example) already available in the Lisa operating system. (The operating system itself is about half a megabyte of code, though only 200K to 300K bytes of it are resident in memory at the same time.) In addition, the toolkit will list the user-interface conventions that were used to create the existing six application pack-ages and will strongly suggest that third-party software will be better received (by both Apple and the consumer) if it follows these conventions. The Apple-generated application programs are so wonderful that most programmers will consider it an achievement to create similar software.

Caveats

I wrote this article after working with a Lisa computer for several hours and studying various Lisa documents. The application packages were completely functional, but I was told changes were still being made to them. The released versions of software may be faster because debugging aids were probably slowing down the version I saw.

Performance

The Apple Lisa was faster than I remembered a similar machine being (an experimental Xerox machine running Smalltalk) and faster than I expected it to be. Granted, a 68000 microprocessor is in the computer, but it was being asked to do a lot including the manipulation of 32K bytes of video-display memory. Objectively, I must report some delays (30 seconds, maybe) when loading in files, but these were shorter than what I usually encounter using CP/M-based business programs. In any case, I didn’t notice any delays while actually using a given program, which is where you spend most of your time, anyway. I expect that the Lisa computer you’ll see in Apple showrooms will be slightly faster than the one I saw.

Conclusions

As you can tell, I am very impressed with the Lisa. I also admire Apple for deciding to make the system with-out being unduly influenced by cost or marketing constraints. The Lisa couldn’t have been developed without such a deep commitment, and no other company I can think of could afford such a project or would be interested in doing it this way (the Lisa project reportedly cost over $50 million and used more than 200 person-years of effort!). In terms of the actual, as opposed to symbolic, effect it will have on both the microcomputer and the larger-computer market, the Lisa system is the most important development in computers in the last five years, easily outplacing IBM’s introduction of the Personal Computer in August, 1981.

As this went to press, Apple announced that the Lisa will be sold in one configuration only: the computer with 1 megabyte of RAM, two floppy-disk drives, the Profile hard disk, the six application programs (Lisa Draw, Lisa Write, Lisa Project, Lisa Calc, Lisa List, and Lisa Graph), and Lisa Test diagnostic program; the price of this package is $9995; it will be available in the U.S. this spring, and modified foreign-language versions will be available this summer.

Fortunately for us, the history of computing does not stop with the Lisa. Technology, while expensive to create, is much cheaper to distribute. Apple knows this machine is expensive and is also not unaware that most people would be incredibly interested in a similar but less expensive machine. Well see what happens.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #Apple Lisa

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iffyswriting · 4 years

Text

Star Quality

Pairing: Pardison Fontaine x Black! Thick! OC

Summary: A story with some smut at the end. May give it a part two, I don't know yet.

I don’t know about y’all but that fine ass man right there got my ovaries on LOCK.

I blame my friend, Dom for this. She encourage the whortivity.

Anyway enjoy,☺🥴

The light shined bright on my face, my eyes slightly blinded. Anxiety rested in my chest as I looked over all the people in the stands. So many of them were screaming, pumped up with excitement. So many were screaming my name.

All these people here just to see lil ole me.

I searched through the crowd, hopeful to see his face but I knew he wasn't going to be here.

I wanted to be wrong but what's true is just what it is.

I blinked back my tears as I began with my first song of the night 'Heartbreak'. I started strong, singing my heart out as things went on my lyrics hitting closer to home.

My mama told me to stay away from the industry niggas.

If we both wanted a career, it'd never work she said. I didn't listen because I figured who better to understand me, than someone with my exact goals- we could be an it couple, we could be successful together.

I should've listened.

The year before.

"And you said we'd be late." I teased, taking my bodyguard, Tommy's hand as I stepped down from the car.

"You took your sweet ass time at the Hotel."

"My makeup is a whole regime- one lash out of place and my whole energy is off." I said matter of factually, pleased when he didn’t reply.

I looked up at the radio station, my heart swelling with happiness. I'd never been invited to do an interview before- I've never been famous before either. This year was full of firsts for me and honestly, I'm ready to accept it all.

"Nervous?"

"Not nervous- terrifyingly happy, I'll say."

"Those don't go together."

"A lot of things I do don't but I make it work." He chuckled to my side, his laughter easing my nerves.

Plopping into a chair, I bounced in my seat giving the biggest grin I could to everyone in the room. You could say I was a little too eager.

"We got brand new artist- Sincerity in the building!" He started off cupping his mouth to make an echo effect.

"Wassup y'all!" I said excitedly, my bubbly giggle bursting through.

"I see your animated this afternoon.”

"I'm grateful as hell to be here, that's why."

"We're just as happy to have you." He spoke returning my grin. "Let's talk about your new hit single, Black Jack that just hit number 2 on the top 100 in the U.S. and number 12 worldwide. How does it feel as a new artist to become this popular, this fast?"

"It feels so good and so unexpected. When I recorded it, I had high hopes but they never went up this high."

"I guess that's on me for having such low expectations," I said shaking my head.

"Could you tell me the meaning of the song? Give a little insight."

"Black Jack is about gambling with your life and all the decisions you want to make with so little time. Everything we do feels like we're playing a game of chance and I think my song with its fast-paced beat really gives you that feeling."

"Any inspirations?"

"You'd be surprised to hear this but I had such a huge mixture of music growing up." "Like from Lauryn Hill to Bjork, I was everywhere and I think that really shows in the songs that I make. I like to be versatile.”

The energy in the room shifted slightly and I braced what was he was going to say.

"So recently you've taken pictures with New York rapper, Pardison Fontaine." Tommy gave me a look and I sat up straighter, paying attention. Nervousness started to run through me because anything I say could be critical to my career.

Junior was a lot like other radio people, messy as hell because that's what people like to hear. They're interested in you but they're more interested in the drama that surrounds you because it creates traction.

My manager, Shanice couldn't come but she prepped me the night before telling me what to do.

"Yeah, we took them at Meg's birthday party! It was so much fun." I said nodding my head at the memory. " I took pictures with a bunch of other people too."

"But Pardi is in all of them, one way or another."

"We were sitting together. We talked throughout the party."

"About what?" Junior looked me in the eye, his slick smirk making me scoff. He was trying to get into my head but I stayed resilient.

"About business deals and music really," Pausing, I leaned into the mic closer continuing to talk.

"I can admit he cute or whatever," I said with an eye-roll, everyone else laughing with me.

"But there's literally nothing between us, I super duper promise," I say crossing my heart. " We're just friends- friends, who when they cross paths, take a whole lot of pictures and talk."

"That's it?"

"Dassit." I said quickly, laughing afterward. The disappointment in his face spoke volumes and He looked like he wanted to press further but he knew he couldn't. He moved onto the next question, my interview going much smoother.

Finally leaving the radio station, my phone started to buzz in my hands. I already knew he was gonna call me the minute it ended and I took my time to answer letting it ring a little longer.

"You make me sick."

"Now, I know that's a lie." Pardi, or Jordan as I called him said, I could practically see his smirk over the phone.

"You don't know shit."

"So, I'm just cute or whatever?"

"Ain't that what I said?"

"You've said more than that."

"I been lying." I admitted playfully

"That easily? Wowww-" He faked shock and I bit back a smile, scratching at my hand. Despite my dodging, he did make my stomach flip inside out and made me think things I know I shouldn’t have been.

"You seemed to be so tuned into the radio today- I thought you didn't listen unless you were on it?"

"I had to support my girl."

"I'm your girl? That's crazy."

"You always gonna be my girl." I let out a breathless laugh, my heart thumping in my chest like a drum.

"Okay, Jordan."

"Come see me." He said confidently making me raise an eyebrow.

"See you where?"

"At the studio. You know that's my second home." It was mine too and my mama was constantly down my throat about not being stable with my sleeping.

"Who else gon' be there?"

"Nobody. Just the two of us." Blinking, I opened my mouth trying to find a response.

"You plotting, you're trying to get me all alone."

"You gonna fall for the trap?"

"Maybe” Feeling frisky, I pushed harder. “I don’t feel so convinced, though.”

"If you come, I'll mix something for you."

"Something new?"

"Brand spanking new, baby." He slapped something for emphasis and I shrugged my shoulders like he could see me.

"I'm feeling a little persuaded-"

"I also happen to have some new music- you know I trust your judgment." He came to me for a-lot of things, whether it be a critique or some advice we talked about so much.

"Since you're begging me at this point, I'll show up."

"I can't wait." I could hear his grin and I couldn’t suppress my own anymore, full on biting my lip as a smiled.

"Don't cream your pants, now."

”I won’t even say what I’m thinking,” He chuckled. “See you in a second, Nelle.”

“Bye, Jordan. “ Clicking off my phone, Tommy stared at me- a smirk on his lips. The kind i absolutely hated.

"What?"

"Nose wide open over that boy."

"Just like I told Junior, I'm gonna tell you."

"We're just friends."

*********

Watching intently as his fingers danced over the keys, one by one he let my head lean on his shoulder. He made me feel so comfortable, his shoulder felt like a hard pillow.

"How long you been playing the piano?"

“A long ass time.”He thought for a second. “My mom’s wanted me to be productive with something and music became that something.”

"I want a kind of interlude, you know with the piano playing the back. Soften the soul you know?"

“Yeah, I can see it.”

I opened my mouth to sing a couple of notes as he kept going. He went up higher and I followed suit, going low when he went he low too. He found somewhere steady and I let my voice rest there with him, finishing softly.

The way he looked at me, his eyes trained on my face so hard it's like he was entranced. Being his center of attention made my heart swell.

"I ever tell you, how much I wish I could sing."

"You know how to hold a tune."

"Nah but if I could belt out like I want, I'd be all over the place."

"How you feel singing from your chest." Taking his hand I pressed it right to my breast, and looked him in his eyes.

"It's like grabbing something from within and pushing it out." I took one deep breath and then another his hand rising with each breath I took.

His hand slowly dragged up my neck to touch my cheek. He seemed hesitant at first but I leaned further into his hand, moving in closer.

We kissed softly to test the waters but we weren’t gentle kind of people. The second kiss felt more impassioned and aggressive, as I sighed behind his lips his touches all over my body jolting me.

He placed his hands on my waist pulling me onto his lap. With my legs on either side, I pressed my panties against his clothed shorts grinding on him so he could feel how wet he was making me.

"What we about to do here?"

“The fuck you think.” I said impatiently, swiping my gloss off his bottom lip even though I was going to stain it some more.

“I’m just wanna know before, we get too deep.”

"I know what I want."

"Do you?" Pressing my hand against his chest I started to unbutton his shirt, keeping up eye contact.

"I do."

Scrunching my dress up around my hips, he pushed my thighs apart pressing his fingers onto my clit. He was gentle swiping against it but I want him to be rougher.

He lined up his tip and slid inside making me gasp. I threw my arms over his shoulder, my fingers becoming entangled in his curls as I bounced on his dick our cum echoing in the room.

He gripped my ass, making me bounce faster.

Standing up from the chair, we kissed as he stroked up into me. My back hit the cold glass and something clicked on behind me but with how good he was fucking me I couldn't care less.

"You feel so fucking good-" One of his hands grasped my neck, the other touching the dip of my back to get in deeper. I bit back a smirk, my breasts heaving up and down as he picked up speed.

His deep groans of pleasure, rumbled in my ear and into the pit of my stomach.

I clenched around him slowing things down, his hand tightening it's grip. He guided my face up, sloppily french kissing me our tongues melding together. He pecked my lips one more time gazing at me.

“You gotta take it.” He mumbled, making me wrap my legs around his waist entrapping him.

I pushed him back onto his chair, plunging him back inside of me.

“I’m not the one who needs to take it.” I said breathlessly, kissing his neck lining hickies where his tattoos were.

His chest rose and he shuddered underneath me, his big hands on my back rolls guiding me clearly as I fucked him into the chair. My thighs clapped together and I moaned quietly stopping in my tracks as my orgasm started to crash onto the horizon.

He pushed my thighs back open, circling my clit so I could cum all over his dick. He pulsated inside me and every movement made me feel more sensitive as minutes ticked on.

“Gon head and cum.” He teased me, bringing our lips together once more. He swallowed back my moans, easing me into a steady lull of pleasure.

I came seconds later, a trembling mess. His name tumbled from my mouth in repeated chants, his strong arms surrounding my hips to keep me in place. He sat still in me, his own body barely holding on.

I couldn’t tell if you it was lust, or the fact I had in the palm in my hand but as I ground onto him knowing he was going to cum in me, the power and love I felt was unmatched.

He stopped trying to stop me, relishing in his satisfaction as he painted my walls white. His cum filled me up to the brim and I slid back watching it ooze out a little, the sweat on pooling my forehead sliding between my breasts.

He caressed each part of fat on my body the look in his eyes so intense, my heart barely matched it. He said 4 words that cemented everything and from there I was locked in.

“Let’s do this again.”

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