#( going back and forth on whether or not to leave in the fact that partway through i realized ;;

[sister2of5]

Saga of the Aesthetic Book Stack, Parts 1 and 2

Well, it’s certainly been a long time since I’ve blogged on this account...

For Christmas last year, my mother purchased an aesthetic book stack in blue-green for me. I plan to read that foot of books with similarly colored bindings. I’m going to babble about it too.

Definitely spoilers ahead.

These will probably get quite long, so...

I have a bad habit of reading more than one book at a time and flipping back and forth between them in little chunks. It’s partly a focus issue and partly because digesting things a snippet at a time works well for me.

I’m already partway through the first two books, but my goal going forward is to write a little a bit about my impressions once a week as I go.

Once I have finished any of the books, I will give an overall assessment of whether I would recommend them, and to whom.

The first two books are “A Pirate Looks at Fifty” and “Where is Joe Merchant?” both by Jimmy Buffet. These two books actually work very well in conjunction with each other, even though one is a novel and the other is not. Thanks to Jimmy’s publishers for liking blue-green binding, I guess?

“Pirate” was written after “Joe Merchant”, but Jimmy references the novel multiple times in the non-fiction piece. For a work of fiction, there’s a lot of autobiographical Jimmy Buffet tidbits and Easter eggs in it that I probably wouldn’t notice if I weren’t reading both books together.

For grins, we’ll start with the first chronologically.

“Where is Joe Merchant?” is about a sea plane charter pilot named Frank Bama who is a bit down on his luck in the business department. To keep his plane from being repossessed by the bank, he plans to run away to Alaska, but circumstances keep making that unlikely.

I have spent very little time in either Florida or the Caribbean, the main locations in the story thus far. I am also not very into either aviation or fishing, the main loves of the main character.

Frank’s a bit of a disaster, which I guess is more interesting to read that someone who has their act together, but most of the time I’m shaking my head going, “Why, though?” Ah well. I’m just boring like that.

Mr. Buffet likes to info dump a lot of airplane facts and figures, which would absolutely be more interesting to me if I cared. There’s a whole a paragraph of a character straight up listing plane parts and parameters in dialogue. Granted, the character is trying to weasel his way into the marginally better graces of the main character by showing how much he knows about his plane, and it’s not supposed to work, but it’s a bit of a slog for a non plane person.

Who is Joe Merchant? A rock star who disappeared off the back of a cruise ship and is presumed dead. His younger? I think? sister sort of dated Frank Bama for a while, though apparently nothing was official. She pops up again because she thinks her brother might still be alive and wants Frank to help her go looking for him. She’s even willing to fund the Alaska escape plan in exchange.

Given that there’s a little heart with wings all over the book, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess their romance will rekindle. We’ll see, I guess.

On to “A Pirate Looks at Fifty”. This one is basically a stream of consciousness journal of sorts that is kind of about a trip Jimmy Buffet took for his 50th birthday but also kind of...not. It’s a solid 1/4 of the way into the book before they even leave on the trip.

Anyone want to guess three things Jimmy Buffet really likes? Planes, fishing, and the Caribbean. If you are curious about the inner workings of the mind of Jimmy Buffet and want to hear about his thoughts and recollections of a wide variety of topics, you’ll definitely enjoy this. It will also help if you are very comfortable with a non-linear narrative.

This is a good book for taking in small chunks, though, because that’s how it’s written. I am hopeful there will be a bit more about the traveling as it continues. Anecdotes are fun and all, Jimmy, but you can’t call it a trip journal without actually writing about the trip.

Until next week...

#as i read #A Pirate Looks at Fifty #Where Is Joe Merchant #Jimmy Buffet #currently reading

[itheume]

local guy shows up in one game and is never seen again more @ 11 ( @stephschoices )

#the vampire house #vampire house #choice of games #( someone : gee kam why is it Like That / me booting up paint tool to see all my brushes Gone : #like i can remake them it's no biggie and it was fun messing around w the binary tool but also the timing ;; #anyways i would like to talk abt this man :) #litcherally remember almost nothing abt damien and i havent checked through the el abrigo events w him #which means all of this is just from memory and from crawling through the forums but im v hurt that he doesnt comment on ur fit #like u wear popular clothes and he's just vibing and minding his business #but if u wear goth clothes after the v first outing opportunity suddenly u have a bunch of dialogue centered around it #and malka explicitly states that ur not dressed properly for smth too if u dont have the goth clothes but w damien its just #one big figure it out ig like u now have good fashion sense tm good luck #do like how casual and relaxed he was esp during the particular bit where he's drinking the blue drink and the mc mentions a thermos #and he just kinda goes ' oh. i actually havent thought of that hold on ' ) #( going back and forth on whether or not to leave in the fact that partway through i realized ;; #that he probably smells like the inside of an aeropostale #so im putting it @ the end where no one will read amen amen ) #arting

[bedlamsbard]

fascinated by the distinction drawn between "audience member" and "fic writer" bc I think I know what you mean in regards to kind of re-writing it in your own head not as the secondary way of interacting with it but as the first. But I would not have thought of putting it that way!

A lot of it has to do with the specific fic genre I write in, which is long plotty AUs that I’ll probably be working on for years -- to some extent I can set aside everything in canon that occurs in in-universe chronology after the span of my story; Backbone and Crown doesn’t have to take into account the events of the OT and ST because they haven’t occurred yet.  On the other hand, I can’t totally set aside major set piece events that involve causes and players outside of whatever characters and timeline I’m working with, because depending what I’m working with things are still going to happen whether or not my characters are involved.

And I make compromises all the time about whether things are going to make it into the story -- there’s a whole discarded Backbone subplot about Zare Leonis that I considered really carefully before not including, even with the knowledge that leaving him and his interaction with Ezra out of the story meant that his arc in the Servants of the Empire novels will be completely changed.  Backbone covers about half the span of S1, maybe less; I was always running out the timeline of S1 to figure out what events would be happening that would or would or not be affected by the Ghosts’ changed circumstances and if that merited being included in the story.  Rebels S1 is very small-scale; going further into the timeline of the show means that opens up further and further and a lot of other factors are in play.  The earliest version of Backbone was also quite different; the Free Ryloth fleet didn’t exist, Cham and Alecto were members of the Rebel Alliance, a number of other Rebel Alliance characters were there; I reworked it after Siege came out and it was revealed that the Rebel Alliance wasn’t yet a thing.

With Gambit, otoh, there were a lot of galactic-scale repercussions; I was always running the timeline back and forth and figuring out what the originating events were and how those would play out in the altered timeline of this single-point divergence AU.  But the crucial difference is that for Gambit (and Wake), I was working is that I was working with a closed canon -- I didn’t have to worry about something down the line adding something to the in-universe chronology, and a lot of it was heavily altered by the divergence point anyway.  (Actually, that canon reopened partway through Wake when The Lost Missions dropped in a way that was relevant; the chip scenes were somewhat shoehorned in because I couldn’t leave that out.)  Crown is working in a tighter timeline but one that comes a lot closer to the set piece events of the saga; I have “where is this in relation to Rogue One?” running through my head when I’m working through any of the Rebel Alliance scenes.  There are a number of small-scale changes that aren’t immediately clear (because the story’s not finished) that have come about because of the story’s divergence point that would have a much greater influence on galactic events than they did in canon.

When it comes to out-of-universe chronology, the added canon that comes out after I’ve already started working on a story, it can be a lot harder to deal with.  95% of the time, if the additional canon deals with the character/setting of my WIP, I’m going to ignore the bulk of it but occasionally integrate details here and there as relevant (such as the name of the Tann Province in Backbone -- you may note it doesn’t show up until quite late in the story, after the S3 ep aired).  I didn’t change the names of the Inquisitors -- in fact, I made the decision early on that however I named the Inquisitors it would be different from what canon did, as that was prior to them being called “Seventh Sister”, “Fifth Brother,” etc.  5% of the time it’s something that I cannot ignore, like the clones and the chips -- that’s pretty rare, tbh, but it happens.  (I’ve scrapped a story because of additional canon; I had a chunk of Kanan/Hera time travel written where they both got thrown back to the Clone Wars, but the Kanan - The Last Padawan comic coming out threw me too badly with their clones as opposed to my OCs.)  To some extent, I try to only work with the canon that was available when I started writing that story; that’s not entirely sustainable with canon coming out so rapidly, and sometimes it can throw out a reader.

The worst part, as a fic writer, about dealing with additional canon isn’t trying to integrate it into an ongoing story: it’s that it may change how I feel about Star Wars, or if it’s done poorly, I may end up in the kind of mental place where I get very “why am I doing this when the canon doesn’t even care.”  There’s a scene in the Darth Vader comics where the Inquisitors are doing shots after killing a Jedi and stealing his baby.  When that particular issue came out, I was working on the big Inquisitors vs. Kanan & Ahsoka fight scene in Backbone, and I was so badly thrown by the disconnect that I had to step away for a few days.  I hated the Rebels finale so much that I couldn’t work on Backbone for a while even though it’a completely different universe.  A lot of what canon did with Ahsoka post-S2, and the way she gets idolized by both fandom and the PTB, has messed with my perception of her so much that with Crown Ahsoka and the backend of Backbone Ahsoka I didn’t trust myself writing her and had to have multiple beta readers just for her characterization, something I have never worried about before.  (This is one reason I did that deep dive the other week to figure out what the hell was going on in the writers room about her, and honestly?  I feel better about it now that I’ve rationalized what was going on in a way that makes sense to me.)  I had to stop reading the Doctor Aphra comics because Hera was so out of character there that I was getting really, really upset (and also the animal harm), and then I just stopped reading all the SW comics because they were making me mad and I wasn’t enjoying myself.  Sometimes you get big universe consequences stuff that doesn’t deal with your main characters (looking at you, TROS) and it’s frustrating if you don’t like it!  Then I have to sit down and try to decide “hey, am I going to use any of this Palpatine stuff?” -- this was actually a problem for Crown, because the Palpatine scenes weren’t written yet when TROS came out, and I was so badly thrown by TROS that I didn’t know how to deal with that in Crown even though it’s mostly not relevant.  Would I be happiest if I was working in a closed canon, or if at least I knew (or thought) my main characters weren’t going to get any more canon stories about them? GODS, YES, THIS IS WHY I STARTED WRITING PREQUEL FIC BACK IN THE LATE 2000S.  (Ironically, I started writing PT fic before TCW came out, then flipped fandoms and came back in 2012 -- but all my 2012 PT fic only used the closed canon of the EU Clone Wars/Republic comics, not TCW.)

Mostly as an audience member I don’t want to see my writing characters on the screen anymore -- there’s a certain amount of hypervigilance that comes with having your writing characters or settings active in canon, even if you don’t intend to integrate any of that.  I watch and read Star Wars very differently than I watch and read anything else; I mostly don’t find it relaxing because I’m always aware of the fact that the stuff I care about could pop up at any moment, or because I’m concentrating so hard on characterization/nuance/worldbuilding that my brain is going 150 mph, or because I have very specific deal-breakers.  (I do find reading in the EU relaxing because bro, that is CLOSED CANON.)  I would like to relax!  If canon finally contorts itself to the point I can relax again that will be a relief, tbh, even as frustrating as it would also be.

...this is probably a much longer response than you expected.

#also I could probably clean this up but I need to go! #I got distracted writing it! #eri-223 #bedlam answers

[cat-brodsky]

richard pipen is the worst pre-med student ever: death caps in the secret history

"Judy, what would you do if you had a hundred and three degrees of fever?” “I would go to the fucking doctor,” she said without looking away from the TV.

must i say anything else

This post may contain errors, and anyone is welcome to point them out.

@sadbabywltch gets a thanks for the inspiration

some context

"You studied medicine for a while, didn't you?” [Henry] said.

I knew this to be a prelude to some health-related inquiry. My one year of pre-med had provided scanty knowledge at best...

I’m going to cite some parts of The Secret History, but I cannot copy the entire text of the scene in question. If you haven’t read it, this scene won’t make as much sense.

This post contains extensive discussion of mushroom poisoning as a murder method, so consider yourself warned. This post also contains math and biology, so people allergic to either should turn back.

Richard Pipen knows absolutely nothing about medicine. And I intend to prove that.

on amanita phalloides

Aka, death cap. The most poisonous out of all known mushrooms - half a mushroom (30 grams) is enough to kill a grown human. If Henry had really done extensive research, he should know that - and he said that he has.

“You have no idea how much thought I've put into this. Even to the strain of poison. It's said to make the throat swell, do you know that? Victims are said to be struck dumb, unable to name their poisoner.”

He should also know that the throat swelling is a myth. A.phalloides cause gradual organ failure. Symptoms of poisoning occur twelve hours later, too late to seek treatment, and death generally occurs six to sixteen days after the poisoning.

He should also know that there are less toxic species of Amanita. For instance, Amanita muscaria (fly agaric) is a hallucinogen, and symptoms take only thirty to ninety minutes to appear. Considering that the entire friend group has already been taking drugs regularly, Henry could offer Bunny a lethal dose, ingest a small one, and seek treatment.

There is also Coprinopsis atramentaria - the common ink cap, or tippler’s bane. This mushroom is poisonous, even lethally so, if combined with alcohol. I don’t need to spell the murder method out.

But, of course, Henry is high Intelligence low Wisdom and obsessed with ancient history; if Claudius allegedly died via death caps getting mixed with Caesar’s mushrooms, then it must clearly be the best way to poison someone.

on advanced calculus

“Let's say we know, for instance, that x amount of the drug in question is enough to affect a seventy pound animal and another, slightly larger amount is sufficient to kill it. I've figured out a rough formula, but still we are talking about a very fine distinction. So, knowing this much, how do I go about calculating the rest?”

Quick reminder that Henry killed one dog and poisoned another.

I’m not going to do calculations on A.muscaria or any other method of murder - A.phalloides is what the characters were poring over. I’m going to explain the calculations as simply as I can, and then provide some references for those of you who are interested in biology.

The characters don’t have the internet available, but they have the whole college library, a virtually unlimited amount of money, and a town where everyone takes illegal substances at their disposal. What they need is a pharmacology textbook (to look up the necessary equations), a reference on poisonous mushrooms (to look up death caps), and perhaps a handbook on toxins. 

LD50 is what Henry is after - that is, “the dose required to kill half the members of a tested population after a specified test duration.” (I hope that the readers can already see that two dogs are not a large enough sample size.) LD50 is conveniently measured in mg/kg. We have the characters’ exact weights: Bunny is 86 kg, Henry is 97.5 kg.

Amatoxins are a group of toxins contained in A.phalloides, and the one that causes symptoms of death cap poisoning. LD50 of amatoxins in humans is estimated to be 0.1 mg/kg. Thus, Bunny would need to ingest 0.1*86 = 8.6 mg amatoxins, perhaps less, preferrably more, to be stone dead. Here I make an assumption that 0.05 mg/kg is not lethal; with Henry’s poor health, it might be. Henry would need to ingest under 0.05*97.5 = 4.87 mg to not be dead.

Oral LD50 for amatoxins in dogs is 0.5 mg/kg. Finding out the amatoxin content should be an easy calculation: X grams divided by 31 kg contains 0.5 mg. We know that X grams minus one gram failed to kill the other dog, so we can assume this is not low-balling the dose.

For the sake of ease, let’s say X = 31 -> 0.5 mg amatoxins in one gram of locally harvested, organic death cap. This looks close to reality. Per Yilmaz et al (2015) a death cap ingested by a patient contained 0.426 mg amatoxins per gram, and you can calculate that yourself.

And now a simple proportion:

0.5 mg (per gram) / N mg (lethal dose) = 1 gram / X grams (of mushroom)

Bunny: 8.6/0.5 = 17.2 grams (ingest more than that)

Henry: 4.87/0.5 = 9.74 grams (ingest less than that)

partway disclaimer

Of course, I wouldn’t stake my life, or anyone’s, on those calculations.

The toxin content of the A.phalloides can vary drastically depending on geographical location, season, maturity, etc. This could be remedied, I guess, by gathering a large amount of them, mixing them and chopping them into paste, then testing some of the mixture to determine LD50 and the amatoxin content.

From the data at hand, the exact content of amatoxins cannot be precisely determined. But, hey, Henry only needs to poison more dogs to find out!

and now for some more science

A.phalloides contains two main groups of toxins: amatoxins and phallotoxins, and also phallolysin. Phallolysin is not toxic if taken orally, so that’s out. Phallotoxins were found to have little contribution to death cap toxicity, perhaps because they are not absorbed through the gut. (Though it’s not certain whether the characters would have this information in 1982.) This leaves us with amatoxins.

Yilmaz et al (2015) describe a patient who recovered after ingesting approximately 0.32 mg/kg amatoxins (but after developing liver failure). This is why I’m assuming 0.05 mg/kg is non-lethal.

LD50 for amatoxins in dogs has been calculated for α-amanitin and methyl-γ-amanitin.

Garcia et al (2015) gives the amount of a-amanitin in different tissues of A.phalloides as follows (mg/gram dry weight): 0.67 to 0.78 in caps, 0.30 to 0.32 in stipes and 0.07 to 0.10 in volvas.

why richard is an idiot sandwich

Look, perhaps I’m misunderstanding what Donna Tartt has written, but Richard comes across as right for the wrong reasons. He’s right in that trying to non-lethally poison yourself with something so deadly as A.phalloides is a monumentally stupid affair. He’s wrong about everything else.

Faced with a simple calculation like the above, how does Richard go about it?

Equations about chemical concentration were never my strong point in chemistry, and they are difficult enough when you are trying to figure a fixed concentration in a suspension of distilled water; but this, dealing as it did with varying concentrations in irregularly shaped objects, was virtually impossible. He had probably used all the elementary algebra he knew in figuring this, and as far as I could follow him he hadn't done a bad job; but this wasn't a problem that could be worked with algebra, if it could be worked at all. Someone with three or four years of college calculus might have been able to come up with something that at least looked more convincing; by tinkering, I was able to narrow his ratio slightly but I had forgotten most of the little calculus I knew and the answer I wound up with, though probably closer than his own, was far from correct.

I didn’t know proportions required three or four years of college calculus. If the mushrooms are irregularly shaped, why not weigh them?

“It's a good try, but just by looking at it I can tell that it's insolvable without chemical tables and a good working knowledge of calculus and chemistry proper. There's no way to figure it otherwise. I mean, chemical concentrations aren't even measured in terms of grams and milligrams but in something called moles.”

There are different kinds of chemical concentration, and molar concentration is just one of them. “Something called moles”? A mole is, simply, an amount of substance that contains 6.02214076×1023 molecules (Avogadro number). This is sixth-grade chemistry. It’s also completely irrelevant here.

It’s a miracle Richard ever got into pre-med.

Henry, paraphrased: Oh, well, if I overdose - which I can totally figure out despite the fact that the symptoms take twelve hours to show when the damage is already done - I can just have some atropine. Atropine will totally counteract amatoxins.

...Never mind, Henry is also an idiot - though, at least, that is highlighted in-story. What does he plan on doing, drinking a whole bunch of atropine without knowing the precise dose he ingested?

“They are exactly opposite in effect. Atropine speeds the nervous system, rapid heartbeat and so forth. Amatoxins slow it down.”

No, they are not. To put it in plain English, amatoxins cause cell death - nothing about nervous system. Atropine basically counters the parasympathetic system, kicks your organism into fight or flight mode.

Do you know what atropine is an antidote to? Muscarine. It’s a compound found in certain mushrooms - such as A.muscaria, though only in trace amounts. Atropine and muscarine both bind to muscarinic acetylcholine receptors. Muscarine is not found in A.phalloides. Confusing amatoxins with muscarine is... I imagine it’s excusable if ancient Persian texts are your most recent source.

Oh, and one more thing while I’m at it.

“The Persians? I didn't know you read Arabic.”

In Persia (modern Iran), they speak Farsi, not Arabic. Oh, Richard. I imagine Henry took pity on him and didn’t correct the poor fool.

conclusion

There are two ways to engage with canon - from an in-story perspective (Watsonian) or an outside perspective (Doylist). I’ll leave you to discover what the third (Forsythian) perspective is.

From an in-story perspective, I am drawing the conclusion that both Richard and Henry are utterly inept at math, biology, medicine, and common sense; heaven only knows what “algebraic equations” they spent a good half hour going over.

From an outside perspective... well, if Tartt wrote all those errors purposefully, then it’s a nice bonus for any reader who knows basic medicine. If she didn’t, then I can fault her for not doing enough research. A middle ground is more likely: I’m certain that the 103F episode was intentional, but the Arabic in Persia wasn’t, since Henry of all people would lambast Richard for this error mercilessly.

half-assed references

Garcia, J et al. Determination of amatoxins and phallotoxins in Amanita phalloides mushrooms from northeastern Portugal by HPLC-DAD-MS. Mycologia, 107(4): 679-687. 2015.

Hooser, S.; Khan, S. Common Toxicologic Issues in Small Animals: An Update, An Issue of Veterinary Clinics of North America: Small Animal Practice: Ebook. Elsevier Health Sciences. 2018.

Tu, A.; ed. Handbook of Natural Toxins: Food Poisoning (1st edition). CRC Press.1992.

Wieland, T. Peptides of poisonous Amanita mushrooms. Springer-Verlag.1986.

Yilmaz, I et al. A Case Study: What Doses of Amanita phalloides and Amatoxins Are Lethal to Humans? Wilderness Environ Med. 26(4): 491–496. 2015.

#dark academia #the secret history #henry winter #richard papen #donna tartt #poisonous mushrooms #amanita phalloides #biology #studyblr #book analysis

[twilights-800-cats]

<< Allegiances || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || From the Beginning >>

Chapter 12

Mistyfoot relished the cooler dawn temperatures as she settled down with a starling, making sure to first brush away the dew from her spot with a sweep of her plumed tail. Most warriors had just gotten up and moving, and though Mistyfoot had wanted to sleep off yesterday’s journey she had one more thing to take care of that she hadn’t been able to do last night.

Nightpaw.

The small apprentice was busy this morning. Mistyfoot watched him travel in and out of the nursery with moss, looking more and more annoyed each time he was sent away. Mistyfoot had a moment to start her breakfast before Nightpaw would be available to talk, she guessed.

As she chewed her starling, Mistyfoot spotted Shadepaw heading for the elder’s den. The she-cat’s gait was stiff and her tail-tip was twitching, and beyond that, Mistyfoot recognized the spark in her eyes.

What has her tail in a twist? Mistyfoot wondered. Shadepaw had inherited her father’s temper – that much was public knowledge in ThunderClan – but otherwise she was a rather calm and collected cat. Now it seemed like she was barely keeping her frustration in her pelt. Must be some medicine cat thing.

Finally it seemed like Nightpaw was free from the nursery. The small tom staggered over to Mistyfoot, looking tired already. He flopped down and groaned, “Queens!”

“Ferncloud giving you a hard time?” Mistyfoot guessed.

“I’ve been running back and forth for moss since I woke up!” Nightpaw complained. “Ferncloud and Snowstep kept sending me back! Now my paws stink!”

Mistyfoot’s whiskers twitched with amusement. “This is their first litter,” she pointed out. “They want everything to be perfect. You can’t blame them for that.”

Nightpaw still looked cross. “Oh, as if you’d know!” he huffed. Mistyfoot took no offense from his tone, which was joking despite his annoyance. It all quickly faded. “What did you want to talk about? You’ve had another sign?”

“Hush!” Mistyfoot hissed, suddenly aware of every eye in camp. She took a moment to examine the warriors around them, looking for cats who might be staring… and unfortunately, locked eyes with the one cat she wished hadn’t been looking in her direction.

Tinystar.

“Not here,” Mistyfoot decided. There was something about Tinystar’s gaze, the way he was staring at her, that made her fur prickle. “In the forest. Sunhigh?”

Nightpaw nodded wordlessly.

Tinystar got to his paws and padded over. Mistyfoot’s heart thudded with every paw step he took. Had he overheard? Did he know? She fought not to tremble.

“Nightpaw, I want you to go on patrol with Graystripe and Whitepaw,” Tinystar meowed. “They’re heading to Fourtrees.”

Nightpaw looked perplexed. “But… Dustpelt had me on camp duties today,” he reminded his father.

Tinystar’s tail flicked. “Are you going to disobey your leader?” he queried, his tone low and serious.

Nightpaw’s eyes widened, and Mistyfoot’s saw them flash with rebelliousness – yet they tempered into a cold resignment. “No, Father,” he muttered, before turning and loping away.

Mistyfoot blinked in confusion – especially when Nightpaw met up with Graystripe and stated he was joining them. The thick-furred gray warrior looked surprised to see him.

Tinystar was already padding away when Mistyfoot switched her gaze to him. He never acts like that! She thought. Suddenly the starling between her paws seemed stale and unappetizing. Tinystar had only intervened in Nightpaw’s duties when he’d come to see her.

Did he… did he just try to stop Nightpaw from talking to me? Mistyfoot’s throat clenched, and a stone of guilt settled in her stomach. Has he just decided I’m not to interact with any apprentice? Does he think I’ll get his son killed?

“Hey, Mistyfoot?”

Cloudtail’s voice brought her out of her gloomy thoughts. The fluffy ginger-and-white she-cat was standing over her, tail-tip flicking from side to side. Her blue eyes sparked as she asked, “Want to come hunting?”

Mistyfoot nodded. She took one last bite of the starling, knowing it’d be wasted otherwise. Though it felt like eating bark, she swallowed. Hunting would be good, yes; it would get herself out of her own mind.

And maybe I can see Nightpaw in the forest while we’re out, Mistyfoot thought, trotting after Cloudtail. Maybe it’s all in my head, and Tinystar really wanted Nightpaw on that patrol…

———————————————————-

Mistyfoot did not end up meeting with Nightpaw at all for the rest of the the day. Every time she thought she had a chance, he’d been swept off on some other task, or she’d been asked to join another patrol, until finally Mistyfoot had padded in to camp to find Nightpaw sound asleep.

She felt badly. She didn’t want to keep him out of the loop – she’d promised, even if he didn’t end up leaving the Clan with her. As she settled down to sleep she resolved to meet with him the next morning – but the moment she left the warrior’s den she was swept up in the dawn patrol without a moment to check for Nightpaw’s whereabouts.

As she padded in to camp, muscles awake and ready for the day, she focused her attention on looking for Nightpaw. I just need to tell him one thing! She thought, annoyed. Why is everything conspiring to keep me from doing that?

Mistyfoot ducked her head into the apprentice’s den and sighed. Nightpaw was gone, and a quick look and scent around the clearing showed that Dustpelt was gone, too. Mistyfoot’s tail lashed. What in StarClan’s name was going on? Other apprentices weren’t even as busy as Nightpaw suddenly was! Had he misbehaved in some way? Have I?

Still, no cat was hounding her for a patrol – Mistyfoot had time to stretch her legs and look for Nightpaw herself, and maybe hunt on the way, too. She headed for the gorse tunnel, resolved.

“Mistyfoot?”

Mistyfoot halted, trying to keep her pelt from bristling at Graystripe as he approached. Whitepaw, his apprentice, padded up beside him.

“Want to come training with Whitepaw and I?” the older gray warrior asked.

Mistyfoot frowned, confused. “Why?” she asked. Crowding the training hollow with warriors who weren’t mentoring the apprentices within just wasn’t something ThunderClan did. What was the point?

Graystripe shrugged. “Something Tinystar wants to try,” he mewed. Mistyfoot found he was pointedly avoiding meeting her eye. “An order’s an order.”

It’s an order? She thought, her stomach twisting. Tinystar ordered this? Why? To rub in the fact that I’ll probably never have an apprentice again? To remind me of how badly I screwed it up with Shrewpaw?

Guilt would have pricked her paws yesterday, but now it was annoyance. She was tired of being constantly reminded that she had failed as a mentor. Still, an order was an order – Mistyfoot had to follow Graystripe to the training hollow, and look as if she was just fine with it.

———————————————————-

The sun was climbing overhead, and Mistyfoot was bored.

Graystripe and Whitepaw were training in the hollow, yes, but there was just nothing for Mistyfoot to do – Whitepaw was an older apprentice, and had already mastered basic techniques. Now it was up to Graystripe to cater the more advanced moves to his apprentice’s needs.

Spiderpaw and Mousefur joined them partway through, leaving Mistyfoot with even less to do. Despite her friendship with Mousefur, Mistyfoot couldn’t interrupt Spiderpaw’s training. All this was doing was making Mistyfoot miss Shrewpaw, making her agitated and anxious as she thought of all the things she could have done with him, had he lived.

Tinystar really must be punishing me, she decided. Because this is torture.

———————————————————-

Finally, after what seemed like an age, the training session was over.

Mistyfoot’s skull was pounding, her paws itching to be doing anything but sitting and watching. She looked up at the sky with dismay – evening was already upon the forest. She dug her claws into the sand. Was I really ordered to just waste an entire day doing nothing?

Punishing her was one thing – but making her sit like a lump was surely punishing the Clan as well! I could have been hunting or patrolling at least! She thought, lashing her tail. This is ridiculous!

Mistyfoot followed Graystripe and Whitepaw into camp, her tail dragging in the dust. Maybe I can go hunting to make up for it, she thought.

A flash of black caught her eye – Nightpaw was passing her!

Quickly Mistyfoot leaned down and hissed, “Meet me behind the nursery, as soon as possible!”

Whether Nightpaw had heard or not, Mistyfoot excused herself from Graystripe’s company and headed for the nursery. When she was sure no cat was watching, she slipped behind the brambles and into a small pocket of space between the nursery and the camp boundary. She waited there in the shadows, thorns pricking her pelt.

Finally Nightpaw appeared.

“I’m sorry!” he meowed immediately, his eyes wide. “I haven’t been able to get away at all!”

“Neither have I!” Mistyfoot breathed. “It’s been ridiculous – I just spent half the day sitting on my haunches watching apprentices train!”

Nightpaw looked ready to wail. “I-I don’t know what I did!” he sputtered. “Suddenly Tinystar is on my tail about everything I do! Even Dustpelt isn’t this bad! I didn’t tell anyone, Mistyfoot – not even Shadepaw, though I doubt she’d even listen to me… I swear it on my whiskers!”

Mistyfoot believed him; it was hard not to, from the earnest look in his eyes. She rested her tail on his shoulder. She couldn’t imagine being Tinystar’s kit – being Bluestar’s was bad enough. “We have time now,” she mewed. “And I do have more to say about my dreams.”

“Then hurry and tell me!” Nightpaw insisted. “Before we get caught!”

Mistyfoot opened her mouth to tell him about the lake and her plans to leave – but the brambles rustled at almost the exact same moment, and Tinystar pushed his way into the gap. His eyes were cold as ice as he looked upon his son and his former apprentice, his tail bristling with annoyance.

“What are you two doing here?” he demanded coldly.

Nightpaw flinched against Mistyfoot at his father’s tone. Mistyfoot frowned at Tinystar. “We’re just talking,” she insisted. “There’s no harm in that.”

Tinystar narrowed his eyes. “There is when it’s out of sight, when there’s work to be done,” he stated simply.

“I’ve been working all day,” Nightpaw complained. “I’m tired, Father!”

“So am I,” Mistyfoot agreed. Frustration smoldered in her belly. “We’ve been working twice as hard as any cat – I demand to know why!”

Tinystar’s silence filled the space behind the nursery with a chill that rivaled leaf-bare nights. It took all Mistyfoot had to keep her eyes locked on his. Nightpaw trembled beside her.

“I am Clan leader,” Tinystar hissed. “My word is law, and by the warrior code I expect obedience!”

Mistyfoot bristled.

“I will not have cats idling their time chatting when there is work to be done!” Tinystar went on, teeth bared. “Mistyfoot – since you seem to be obsessed with apprentices lately, you won’t mind taking care of the elders for the rest of the day. And Nightpaw – you will do anything but associate with this lazy excuse for a warrior - is that clear?”

Tinystar turned his back and pushed back out into camp, taking the coldness with him. Nightpaw slithered onto his belly, trembling, and whimpered.

Mistyfoot dug her claws into the earth, staring at the space her former mentor had been. He was right – his word was law – but he had never been this unfair or unreasonable before. What in StarClan’s name has gotten into him? He’s acting like…

Mistyfoot hunched her shoulders. For once, the thought of leaving the Clan seemed a good thing – even if it meant earning Tinystar’s anger legitimately.

#tb au #tb midnight

[zukalations]

'I want to be a performer who values heart' - Takarazuka Star Interview: Mano Sugata (March 2006 MUSICAL)

The mainstream musical theater magazine MUSICAL features various interviews with Takarasiennes in every issue. The regular feature ‘Takarazuka Star Interview’ focuses on an up-and-coming young otokoyaku performer.

This interview with Mano Sugata, who was then in Moon Troupe, was published in the March 2006 issue.

'I want to be a performer who values heart' - Takarazuka Star Interview: Mano Sugata (March 2006)

Takarazuka Moon Troupe's Mano Sugata. She debuted in 1999, with the Snow Troupe performance Nova Bossa Nova. She has a gentle atmosphere and is a traditional 'Takarazuka-style' handsome otokoyaku. She has performed in a succession of large roles in junior performances, starting with Franz Josef in Elisabeth, and finally has had her first lead role in the junior performance of Jazzy Fairies. She skillfully portrayed the role of Patrick, who is kind but strongwilled and full of love.

~ How did you feel when you heard you would have your first junior performance lead? At the start I was just happy, but then in reality everything I had to do increased, and of course if you're the lead the amount of lines and songs you have has to increase, so it was my first time experience how different it is to have a lead role, and after that the pressure and fear of it felt like it was going to crush me.

~ How did you go about creating the character of Patrick? In the main cast, ever since rehearsals there was an atmosphere that we all wanted to do our best to make Sena (Jun)-san happy, and I think onstage Patrick was also leading everyone else. But I don't currently have that kind of power, so I really wanted to focus on his kindness towards Shannon, and his strong sense of loyalty. Also, I was very conscious of the fact that I didn't just want to be an archetypical handsome otokoyaku, but make sure that I had strength and passion as well.

~ Did you receive any advice from Sena-san, who played the role in the main performance? In the Grand Theatre junior performance, I felt "who cares about becoming president, I need to focus on Shannon's treatment", but then I heard Sena-san saying "I think that after Shannon died, Patrick definitely achieved his goal of becoming president" and I thought "ah, that's exactly right". When we went to Tokyo, I started rehearsing it as if it was part of the president's reminiscence on his past, so what Sena-san said was a big turning point for me.

~ What has stuck with you after the Tokyo junior performance? It was my first time being allowed to stand at center stage, so I realized what kind of power you need to be able to fill and control the whole theatre space. Although there were many things where I all I could do was acknowledge "I can't do that", but in substitution for what I couldn't do, felt that I needed even more and more energy in order to fill the space.

~ By the way, what caused you to aim for Takarazuka? One of my school classmates was a Takarazuka fan, so she recommended it to me and I got really into it after borrowing some videos from her, so I thought I would try out. The first show I saw live was Heaven and Hell/TAKE OFF, and I'll never forget sitting in the second row on the right side of the stage. When Ichiro Maki-san came onto the Silver Bridge, I felt like our eyes met (laughs), and I became even more obsessed, and after that I started studying singing and dancing.

~ Are there any senior actresses who have had a particularly big impact on you? With each performance I am struck by different people, but when I was doing all sorts of junior performance roles I learned a lot from the Top Star back then, Shibuki (Jun)-san. She caused me to value my individuality and consider what exactly my own appeal is.

~ What shows and roles have had a big impact on you? My first time getting a second supporting role was in the junior performance of Senor Don Juan, where I played Rodolfo. He's a villain obsessed with the main character, a designer, and it really let me feel how fun being an otokoyaku and acting is. Also, Rika-san (Shibuki Jun)'s concert Lica-Rica/L.R. I learned how fun it is to let loose on stage, and that if you're having fun on stage, that energy will be conveyed to the audience.

~ How do you progress through your character creation? When I am given my role, I search for some feeling within myself that I can use to link myself with that character. This time I had a lead role, and I've realized how hard it is both to look cool onstage and delve deeply into the character at the same time. Being an otokoyaku is character creation in and of itself, after all.

~ Are you able to display your own appeal during revues? In revues it's important to have the power to fill the theatre, and there is no character, I am only there as my stage-name self, so it's a matter of how much appeal I can give the person of 'Mano Sugata'. I hope that I can put forth different kinds of styles depending on the costumes and the scenes I am in.

~ Is there something you feel is important to yourself as an otokoyaku? I don't want to look disheveled while I'm dancing, so I pay a lot of attention to how I am wearing my costumes.

~ How do you spend your time offstage? Whether I'm waking or sleeping, all I think about is performing, so I don't really have any hobbies... (laughs) When I was Ken-1, I had to leave off learning to drive partway, without getting a license, so if I got time I would like to take the driving exam. I love movies and theatre. I recently saw ALWAYS: Sunset on Third Street, which was very good, and I love Les Miserables, so if it's performed again I definitely want to see it.

~ Are there any shows or types of roles that you would like to do in the future? I want to be in a tragedy or a serious drama. Also I want to do a ton of revues. I want to do things like sexy otokoyaku dances, or pair dances with a musumeyaku.

~ What kind of performer do you want to be? I'm still developing, so I want to stay myself and believe in my own possibility for advancement. Also, I want to have a pure white base as a Takarazuka-esque otokoyaku so that I can take on various colors, and I want to be someone who values heart when I am performing.

#takarazuka #article translation #mag: Musical #troupe: tsuki #sienne: mano sugata #show: jazzy fairies

[entergamingxp]

The Smash Bros. and Sky Williams Controversy, Explained

July 13, 2020 11:30 AM EST

After several accounts of misconduct, Sky Williams is the latest member of the Smash community outed for mistreatment and fraud.

Over the past week, we have seen numerous popular figureheads in the Smash Bros. community being accused of heinous crimes such as sexual harassment and pedophilia, with even more similar accusations coming about by the day. Earlier this week, however, a new allegation came to light and became the newest hot topic on social media.

Greg “Sky” Williams, a well-known and once-beloved Smash content creator, has been accused of terrible living experiences at the properties he managed, resulting in fraud. In addition, he has also been accused of owing several friends and members in the community a large abundance of money that was loaned to him due to reasons that ended up not being true.

The truth about Zero, Katie, and Skyhttps://t.co/lL9SluWR0X

— Jisu (@JisuArtist) July 5, 2020

Williams is known for housing prominent Smash players along with others at his “Sky Houses” in Southern California, which went on from 2014 to now. The accusations began after a former resident, Jacqueline “Jisu” Choe, wrote about her experiences inside the house she lived in and her interactions with Williams.

“Have you ever talked to someone where every single thing they say doesn’t seem to make sense, and yet they’re so adamant you might start to believe them,” Choe rhetorically asked. She added:

“To be honest, I don’t know why I didn’t come forward about this sooner; maybe it’s his large following, maybe it’s just because he physically towers over me, or threatened to ‘beat me’ several times at the house — I don’t know. Even as ‘jokes,’ I slowly grew to learn over the years that he is so full of shit and insane that I can’t trust him.”

Choe also went into more detail about how Williams would harass her to make commissions for him and that the one time she did, she wasn’t paid for her work. 

My experience as a roommate in the Sky house

Read: https://t.co/d0SK84WlH0

— Amphy

(@AmphyPop) July 9, 2020

Another artist, known as “JollyOxen” on Twitter, was specifically hired by Williams to move to one of the houses to work on video editing for him. According to JollyOxen’s fiance “Amphy”, things started out well until they got on Williams’s bad side. Sky told the tenants that they had to find a new location due to being evicted from the house they were currently at, leading to approximately ten people sharing a hotel room together until Williams found a new place in Hacienda, which specifically was know as the “Sky Mansion.”

After being promised the maid quarters of the mansion, the couple was instead forced to live in the garage with two other roommates, which they were told was insulated (it wasn’t), which caused them to suffer through heatwaves with no air conditioning. Another roommate was later added to their room along with a different tenant residing in the house storing extra belongings in their room. There was even a house cat that would leave rat heads in the garage. Amphy also explains how they were called derogatory terms like “garbage rats” and “slaves,” not being paid for work, but given an allowance of $100 a week, as well as being forced to share a single bagel with other people after giving Williams money to get them something to eat during food runs.

some notes on how the sky williams house worked https://t.co/i2lpmi0L4c

— ffSade (@ffSade) July 6, 2020

Melissa “ffSade” Yabumoto, who lived there at the same time, detailed how the house was structured like a pyramid with Sky naturally on top. Depending on the relationship one had with a roommate would determine how much rent they would pay, which could always change. Sade explained, “If Sky or a ‘higher tier resident’ did not like you, then chances were that you had to pay an additional fee. Furthermore, romantic couples were given a fee in the form of a ‘couples tax’.” He would allegedly use animals as nicknames for roommates including “Monkey” and “Gorilla,” plus the usage of racial-related nicknames as well. Williams apparently had money issues, but whenever he had it, he would waste it either on luxury items or through gambling in Las Vegas.

An incident that was mentioned by many former roommates in the past week involved Sky threatening the entire house that he would break their valuables unless they gave him $350 after a guest visited without his knowledge. Other allegations given to Williams included poor treatment of women at the mansion and minors who were offered alcohol with his knowledge or at the very least, his complicity.

Sky owes me 55,000 dollars

Read: https://t.co/aDMcghZIxs

— Samuelson (@iamaSamuelson) July 8, 2020

Following the revelation of these experiences, a current tenant of the house named Samuelson went to Twitter and explained how Williams owed him $55,000. This incident caused numerous people to come forward and do the same, leading to an approximate sum of nearly $360,000. “Sky and I go way back to the Brawl days, I’ve known him since 2008,” said Samuelson. He explained further in his statement:

“I left the Smash scene and didn’t talk to him very much at all after my departure, but I still had fond memories of him going to Smash tournaments together and whatnot. We barely talked up until 2017 which is when he messaged me out of the blue saying he’s in serious debt to the IRS. He told me he would go to prison and his career would be over unless he received a significant amount of money. After several back and forth messages, I eventually agreed to lend him 55,000 dollars.”

Back in 2017, Sky posted a video on his YouTube channel explaining his massive debt to the IRS, which was the same year that he leased out the Sky Mansion.

Jesus Christ how much fucking debt does Sky Williams have at this point I’ve seen 4+ people say Sky owes them over 10k

— h (@on11Lum) July 8, 2020

Samuelson explained the deal they made where Williams would pay him back a thousand dollars a month for ninety days after giving out the loan. Instead of using the money towards his debt, Sky used it to lease the now “Sky Mansion.” Before learning the truth, Williams told Samuelson that he didn’t use the money as planned because his dad had cancer, which he could relate to with his own mother previously having the illness. Sam later found out that his dad never had cancer, with Sky’s excuse being that his own dad lied to him about it and used the money to get cosmetic surgery on his penis. In his statement, Samuelson also added that he backs everything that Yabumoto “ffSade” said regarding the social structure of the house and that Williams hasn’t paid him back any of the money that he owes him.

https://t.co/yGejBEJKUj

The Sky House. My Statement.

— ♡♪!? (@SkyWilliams) July 7, 2020

After the toppling of accusations, Sky decided to make a statement through a livestream on his Twitch channel. The stream ran for a little over two hours where Williams primarily focused on the allegations made by Choe and Yabumoto, which began with him taking ownership of everything that has taken place inside the house, whether he was ignorant about it or not. As the stream continued, Williams began to go off-topic, talking about other victims’ experiences without their consent and tried to shift himself as a victim, progressing him to eventually break down partway through. It wasn’t until Samuelson unplugged the router in their house where the stream ended.

The live stream statement was a massive mistake. I elected to not listen to any comments to not get distracted and I ended up hurting even more people than I already have with my actions for the past 7 years. I did it live because I felt it was the only non edited way to do this.

— ♡♪!? (@SkyWilliams) July 8, 2020

Following the stream, Williams made a lengthy Twitter thread apologizing for the stream and explained what his current actions will be moving forward, which involves working to clear all his debt and making a Google doc with all the facts. “…this isn’t a document about defending me, it’s about the raw truth – and making sure that everything I’m saying is just the facts of the matter takes a LOT of time, but I’m getting it done,” Williams explained. He finished his statement by saying “never in my life would I want to hurt this many people and I’m more sorry than words can express, so I just hope my actions of contrition to follow convey how much I want to truly make things right for all involved.”

As of now, Williams has yet to post the document he has said to be working on or any update regarding the clearance of his debt.

July 13, 2020 11:30 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/the-smash-bros-and-sky-williams-controversy-explained/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-smash-bros-and-sky-williams-controversy-explained