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softomi · 3 years

Text

now accepting boyfriend applications.

based on my fic idea: you’ve just become newly single, in a drunken fit, you posted a status indicating you’re accepting applications for your next boyfriend. Oddly, three boys take you up on that; sending in their most professional resumes for the position. It seems there’s some fierce competitors.

next up: literature

It hurt, why wouldn’t it hurt. Your boyfriend of almost two years dumped you over text message with no warning and his reason? He just wasn’t feeling it anymore, what the fuck. Well, twenty phone calls, a hundred text messages sent to him, and a pretty nasty voicemail. The moment you realized just how crazy you were being was when you began pounding on his door at almost ten at night. His neighbors poking their head out to stare, and it really smacked you in the face how stupid you were being.

So you threw caution into the wind. it’s a Wednesday night, your first class tomorrow didn’t start until noon and you’re literature teacher was more of a lecturer so she probably won’t notice if you’re hung over. If anything, you could always ask the guy next to you for the notes.

Thus, you decide to throw back shots to your heart’s desire, sitting in the middle of your tiny studio apartment, on your bed to scream and cry at the romance movie. Love is dead. You groan loudly when your neighbor knocks against the wall, trying to tell you to promptly shut the fuck up.

Halfway through the movie, your mind is already swaying. Your throat stings just momentarily and you sip your cheap wine in hope it’ll dull the shots you had taken previously. When the male protagonist kisses the beautiful female of his dreams, you promptly chug the rest of the wine in your glass. Upset at their love, you wrap your lips around the tip of the wine bottle, drinking straight from it.

“I can find someone better.” You’ve reached a different point in your post break up sadness, you were mixed with anger, sadness, and an overall feeling of I’ll find someone with a better dick.

It’s never a good decision to post on social media while drunk, but it’s a great decision right now. You were going to post a ‘newly single’ status. Just to be nice and not spam everyone, you think you’ll just post it to your private account for your five friends to see. You’ve clearly neglected that step when you press post and it uploads to your public twitter account.

The urge to hurl takes priority over the sudden notifications on your phone. Your hair disheveled as you’re trying to hold onto the toilet, hold onto your hair, and throw up at the same time. The romance film comes to an end once you’ve fully emptied your stomach. You shove all the things off your bed, food falling onto the floor, empty bottle of wine rolled under your bed, remote lost somewhere. You fall asleep despite your cell phone going off.

The alarm jolts you, it causes you to scream, your palm slapping the snooze button and you aggressively pull the wire so that it comes out of the socket. Your head is throbbing and your cell phone is ringing at the same time. Annoyed, your hand stretches along the bed trying to find your cell. When you come emptyhanded, you sit up. Your hand steading the pulsing of your brain and you spot your phone ringing and vibrating on the ground.

“What?” You spit out, not bothering to look at the contact as you try to block out the sun.

“What do you mean what?” The voice snaps at you, “You post about boyfriend applications all of a sudden, did you guys break up?”

Of course he would be the one calling you, the person who loves gossip more than you do, “Tooru, can you like shut up for a second.” Your brain is dying and he’s over here trying to get the latest dish on your love life, “He dumped me okay.”

“That asshole.” He gasps, “Do you want me to come over?”

You look at the time on your cell briefly, “No. I have class all day. If you’re free later?”

“Of course!”

The phone call ends and rather than getting ready for the class you have in an hour, you’re checking your notifications. You have about twenty missed calls from Oikawa, another thirty text messages from him, he even left a voicemail; god he must have been desperate. Facebook is bland, you spent most of your time on Instagram deleting the photos of your now ex, and rarely do you ever get Twitter notifications. Oddly, you have fifteen notifications; all coming from your public account.

haha, boyfriend applications are official open. only taking serious apps lol

“No.” You sit up.

It wasn’t your post that freaked you out, it wasn’t that somehow it ended up on your public account, no you could delete it and pretend as if no one saw it but people saw it.

Is she serious?

If she is, I’m down.

What does serious applications mean?

Three comments, five likes, and four retweets.

And three unread messages.

Your finger rushes to delete the tweet before it can be retweeted even more by random classmates. All was good now. Your finger presses onto the message icon, you’re confronted with the icons of three of your classmates.

The most recent is from Miya Atsumu, a terrible flirt in your biology class. He chose the seat next to you in lab when his friends ditched him and hoarded their own table. He spun around in his chair, shooting you a cheeky grin when you briefly looked at him.

His first sentence was, “Hey you’re cute.”

And yours was, “I have a boyfriend.”.

You skip over his message upon spotting his use of sweetheart in the preview.

The next icon is of the guy in your intro to business class, Kuroo Tetsuro. The first time you saw him was outside of the classroom, you two ended up accidentally reaching the doors at the same time. He lets you go in first and the both of you chose the seats farthest from the board, and closest to the door. Despite his bed hair that made him look like he was going to sleep the entire class, he was a rather studious guy; chill but smart, he was a business major after all.

“Did you understand anything he was saying?” You murmur to him as you grab your bag.

“Of course!” He states, “I don’t look at twitter on my laptop when he’s lecturing.” Ah, he caught you.

Your eyes briefly scan the preview, he’s saying something about a resume and you think he’s talking about the homework assignment. You’re about to click on his first when the last catches your eye.

It’s from Akaashi Keiji. On the first day of class, you were late due to waiting in line for coffee. You awkwardly opened the door to the classroom, everyone turning to stare, and you lower your head, choosing a random seat that now you’re stuck with for the rest of the semester because that’s just how college works. The professor goes over the syllabus and suddenly announces that the person sitting to your right will be your revision partner for the semester.

“Hey.” You stop him and for a brief minute you feel your heart skip a beat because he was absolutely pretty, “Sorry, I’m Y/n. Since we’re going to be partners, do you want to exchange info?”.

“Uh. Sure. I’m Akaashi Keiji.”

“I’m going to be late for my business class. Do you have twitter?” You were never a fan of giving your phone number out. Before he can answer, you’re scribbling your username onto a piece of paper, placing it on his desk before running out to catch your next class.

His message is brief: Did you get my email?

You click his message first; it must have been urgent if he messaged and emailed you. There’s nothing else to his message, his previous one dates almost a week before his current one, telling you that he finished reading the book you recommended and that he enjoyed it.

The screen is pulled up with your finger, alternating apps to your personal email. The subject of his email simply reads Application.

Curiously, you click the attachment he’s sent with no body text. Your jaw dropped, hand placed over your open mouth and a small scream emitting.

“Is he fucking serious?”

His name is displayed at the top, along with his birthday, star sign, zodiac sign, age, even the pronouns he uses. There’s a short sentence under it. I am submitting an application for the position of Boyfriend. You’re internally screaming, blinking fast hoping that this was a joke but his ‘application’ reads like a resume. It lists his education from middle school to his current, his previous jobs, his skills, and his own personal goals for the future.

Your blushing profusely, you want to pull your hair, scream, even throw your phone but you shove down the feelings that want to have you die of embarrassment. You don’t have the energy to sadly explain to him that you were drunk and weren’t serious; ugh and you’re going to have to continue seeing him for the rest of the semester.

You revert back to twitter; your heart suddenly drops when you think about Kuroo’s message. Quickly, you pull up the messages, clicking his and suddenly you want dig yourself a grave because he’s sent a link to a pdf and it’s simply titled Resume. He probably used a resume template and never changed the title.

And sure enough, it’s a fucking professional resume declaring the certain skills he has to be your boyfriend. In fact, like the professional business major he is, he includes a letter of intent; indicating his reasons of interest for the position. It details the little quirks he finds cute about you. You want to break your phone in half with how red in the face you feel.

As you exit his message, you’re slowly praying that Atsumu’s message is just a random flirty comment that he occasionally likes to throw you once in a while or perhaps you’re hoping that he fell in a ditch and you won’t have to work with him for the rest of the semester since he almost blew up the lab station last time.

Nope, it’s a link to a google document. Oddly, you click it. Your heart has sunk to the pit of the earth because when you open the document, you see his fucking name in the upper right corner indicating he’s still on the stupid document.

Fuck fuck fuck. You’re running away from the document, aggressively leaving the page but it doesn’t help that when you end up back at your twitter messages, you can see the three dots, telling you he’s typing.

Morning sweetheart hope you enjoy the app

He sends it with a flirty wink and you stare at it for five full minutes. Curiosity gets the best of you and you click back onto his link, he’s no longer on the same document and you sigh safely. For someone who’s barely passing biology, his document was rather professionally detailed. Damn, he’s on the school’s volleyball team? Weirdly the page cuts off halfway, you continue to scroll until the next title page boldly states: Bedroom skills.

It didn’t help that you were scrolling a little too fast and caught sight of an image showing off his toned upper body. There goes his professionalism.

Your phone suddenly blares low battery, your screen turns black and now your anxiety is through the roof. You jump on your bed, trying to plug in your phone and you’ve just now realized that it is thirty minutes until your first class starts and it is literature. You’re scrambling to find your laptop, you trip on the bag of chips from last night, awkwardly trying to stand as you reach for your school bag.

“Shit!” You scream. You suddenly remember letting your stupid ex-boyfriend borrow your laptop.

You fall to the floor, fingers pulling your hair as you suddenly think about the deep shit your in. First, your boyfriend dumped you, now you randomly have three guys who sent you applications to be your next boyfriend and you’re still going to have to see them for the rest of the semester if you reject them. Lastly, you’re going to have to go to your ex’s place to get your laptop after having made a scene yesterday, and your phone is dead so you can’t cry to Oikawa about the deep shit you’re in.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #atsumu x reader #akaashi x reader #haikyuu scenarios #atsumu scenarios #kuroo scenarios #akaashi scenarios #kuroo #atsumu #akaashi #kuroo tetsurou #atsumu miya #akaashi keiji #hq #hq scenarios

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spacebunnywrites · 4 years

Text

Fenk8- Denki Kaminari x Male Reader

After hours of having to rewrite this piece, another half hour of tumblr simply not co-operating, and a few minutes of needing to convince myself that my piece wasn’t trash... I present to you my submission to the BNHA Server Collab. Our prompt was plain and simple, Pen Pals.

Pairing: Kaminari Denki/ Male Reader

Rating: E for Explicit. And C for Crackhead Energy

Kinks: Cyber Sex, Semi-Anonymous Sex, Penpal Sex, Dom!Denki, Daddy Kink, Premature Ejaculation, Cum Eating Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Flexibility, Dumbasses in love

Word Count: 2930

QUICK NOTE BECAUSE I AM A DUMBASS- Paladin is our boy Icyhot... dumbass needed a real Hero name and in a fic I enjoy that is the one he chose. And Flashpoint is our favourite boy Touya Todoroki AKA Dabi. I made him a damn hero because baby deserves it.

His username had been Fenk8, of which you weren't certain why. The penpal website was known for people seeking out more adult interactions, but you hadn't been looking for that. Not at first, really. Charming messages such as, "Hey sweet thing" and "If we were the alphabet I'd put U and I together" changed that slightly. The message that made you laugh the most had been the U and I joke. Corny pickup lines were the way into your heart. Of course you had to respond with your own corny pickup line, "Did you just shock me, or was it your electric personality?" Of course he freaked out a little at that, which you didn't understand. Fenk8 got a little wiggy when anything mentioning electric personalities was brought up. So you tried to avoid it. But you couldn’t help that he sparked your interest.

>>Hey sweetness. Birthday cake can be any flavour. But birthday cake is a flavour

>>What is up, hot stuff? The opposite of waterfall is firefly.

>>My sugarcube, the oldest person alive was born with an entirely different set of humans around.

>>Technichally… if we made everything legal the crime rate would be zero. I'M JUST SAYING!

>>Woah, sunshine… if we can't see air… can fish see water?

>>Orange is the only colour you can taste. I'm just saying.

Every conversation started with something random. Something that had you scratching your head, or made your eyes go wide because holy fuck he wasn't wrong. It was chaotic, but you loved it. He also tried out different pet names most of the time. Your favourite was Sugarcube. It was cute and different. You loved talking with him, it was like talking to your best friend. Only you didn't know your best friend's name, or what he looked like. Or what he did for a living. But Fenk8 was your best friend, nonetheless. The friend that had the nerve to ask you who put the alphabet in alphabetical order. But still your best friend. Days of talking turned into weeks. Weeks into months. The two of you had yet to share photos of yourselves yet, and that was fine. He sent you pictures of dogs he saw on walks, of beautiful flowers, and occasionally the most beautiful sunrises. He worked strange hours, often all over Tokyo and surrounding cities. But it just meant you never got the same scenery twice. Once he had been in the same area as you, sent photos of the bakery you worked at. He didn’t know you worked there, just sent a picture of a little pastry you had made. Said it reminded him of you. That same day Chargebolt had come in and bought one of your pastries. The two of you were excited for different reasons that day. Him because he found out that you made pastries, you because your favourite hero had bought something you made and even came up after and said it was delicious. You hadn't told him about that, you did tell him that you had a small obsession with the electric pro hero. Your potential friend(?) didn't need to know that your favourite sleepwear was an oversized t-shirt from the very first line of Chargebolt merch.

>>Hey sweetheart! Saw the cutest little dog today, thought you would love him as much as I did. His name was Chowchan!

>>How was your day??? I hope you didn't work too hard! I've missed talkin' to ya. Sorry I've been so busy, sweetcheeks.

Attached to his messages was a picture of the most obnoxiously fluffy Chowchow curled into a ball at the feet of… holy fuck was that Pro-Hero Dauntless!? Fenk8 got that close to the Number One hero, got a picture of his dog, and it looked like they were having a casual conversation based on the flush covering Dauntless' cheeks and the adorable pikachu bag you knew belonged to Fenk8 sitting beside him. Just what did Fenk8 do for work that he was chummy with a pro!? Reporter? Maybe he was a PR agent? Or a personal assistant? The last two would make a lot of sense, given that he travelled a lot for work.

<<OH MY FUCKING GODS FENK8. YOU GOT SUCH A CUTE PICTURE OF CHOWCHAN!

<<you even got Dauntless out of his hero gear, sitting still… a god. You're a god.

After a few moments of silence, your phone dinged with another notification.

>>I guess Dauntless is your favourite pro then? Makes sense, he is pretty hot.

<<No? Chargebolt is my favourite. He's been to my bakery a few times, compliments my pastries. Sure, his quirk has a pretty big drawback… but over the years he has really gotten good at controlling his output. Did you see his most recent thwart of a bank robbery!? He got the emergency backups back up and running using his quirk! And when he let himself be the backup generator for the children's hospital last winter…

<<Sorry… rambling. I just… Chargebolt is the best. Some are born for greatness, others have to work for it. He works for it. He said my Lemon Puffs are his favourite, which is good because he inspired them. The popping candy in the dough represents static electricity! I can't believe that Chargebolt likes my sweets… sorry. I'm sure you don't want to talk about pros.

>>Honestly, reading you so passionate is amazing. I can't believe that someone would be so vocally passionate about a hero only in the top fifty. Ground Zero, Dauntless, Flashpoint, Paladin… even Uravity and Froppy. I hear so much about them. But never someone so excited about Chargebolt.

<<He is an amazing hero. I watched his first Sports Festival… all of his Sports Festivals really. I really love him as a hero. But ue never does press events, not like the top ten. And I work when he does patrols. So I've never interacted with him outside of work… but man what I wouldn't give to meet the man. I'm sure you have a favourite pro?

>>Honestly, I do. Red Riot is one of my favourites. Ever heard him sing Karaoke? I'll have to send you a video I have of it. Guy goes all out.

<<Red Riot is pretty cool. But Chargebolt will always be my favourite.

How had you gone off on a full rant about a pro hero? Especially to your internet friend. He was going to think you are such a weirdo now. But apparently he didn't, because he requested a faceless video call for that night. Something about needing to get off, and hoping you would help. Sure, he was a little more smooth than that, but all you cared about was actually getting to see part of Fenk8. You two had only done something similar once, and it had been through text alone. Now you got to attach a voice and a faceless body to Fenk8. You only hoped you still found him sexually attractive after this. What if he was too muscular, like Red Riot. Or covered in deep scarring like Flashpoint. Not that you didn't find them attractive, but with Chargebolt as the man in your fantasies anyone else would pale. He was your number one fantasy, could you really be blamed though? It didn't occur to you that Fenk8 could be a creepy old man, or a murderer or something. Surely the man who seemed chummy with Dauntless couldn't have even an evil bone in his body. Dauntless was too pure to be friends with someone who was genuinely bad.

So when the evening rolled around you found yourself in just an oversized fleece sweater and a pair of black boxer briefs. Your already straining erection begging to be touched as you looked over the thin yet very toned torso before you. Fenk8 was built just like you imagined Chargebolt would be. Lean and just toned enough to show he worked out. You noticed a faint glimmer in his nipples, holy fuck Fenk8 had them pierced! A tiny barbell in each dusky nipple, catching the light just right every time he moved. Below that was a navel piercing, man did he have a lot of piercings apparently. Because he had mentioned his tongue, and webbing in an earlier message you guys had shared.

"Like what you see, Sugarcube?" You could hear the smirk in his words. And the chuckle he made when you whimpered an affirmative was divine. "Why don't you take that sweater off, I had a long day at work and watching my Sugarcube stroke himself would really make my day." The man already stroking himself. A nice thick cock in his hand, nestled nicely beneath a cute nest of blond curls. Faintly you wondered if you would ever get to sit on it, positive that it would be a perfect stretch. Quick to comply you pulled the sweater over your head and let him see your chest in its entirety. A deep blush staining your chest, lower lip pulled between your teeth. Removing your underwear took a little more courage, your member was not as nice to look at as Fenk8's. You would call Fenk8's cock attractive. Thick, long, nicely curved. You would probably call yours cute. It was smaller than his, and looked smaller beneath your curls that were a little darker than the rest of your hair.

"That's a good boy. Now why don't you stroke yourself for Daddy. Let me hear you whine and whimper for my cock to stretch you out." You imagined a wicked smile on his face as he spoke. Eyes locked on the cock in his hands, mouth falling open when you finally noticed the glimmering bits of metal. A three piece bottom ladder, a two piece scrotum ladder, his lorem, a King’s Crown and an Albert. Eight piercings in his dick alone. Was there anywhere he didn't have pierced?!

"Y-yes, Daddy." Finally spoken as you wrapped a hand daintily around your length and began to softly stroke. A soft whimper ringing out before you could stop it. You had been pent up all day, ever since the message he sent asking for this call. Already your body threatened to betray you and make Fenk8 think you were some pathetic virgin. Which you weren't! And even if you were… it was no one's business.

"F-fuck!" You whined out and tensed as you came. Embarassed that you finished so quickly. But it wasn't entirely your fault. Fenk8 got you so worked up earlier. White ropes splattering your chest and stomach as you tried to hide your face from him while slowly slumping down.

"That was so hot baby. A few strokes and you're already cumming for Daddy. I'm so proud of you for wanting to make me happy. Want your reward, Sugarcube?" His voice was thickened, dripping like honey as he spoke to you. Opening your eyes you saw his hand lazily stroking over his length while the other reached toward the camera to adjust it. Raising it and- HOLY FUCK. Fenk8 is Chargebolt.

"Hey, Sugarcube. Heard you have a favourite pro." His charming smile on full display, the hand that had adjusted the camera shooting you a finger gun. Your eyes went wide and he licked over his lips. That tongue piercing you dreamed of, the one positioned a little off to the left, darting out and teasing you. The blond kept amber eyes locked on your frame while keeping the slight motion of him playing with his dick.

Never once did you think that Chargebolt would be a dominant. Or have a daddy kink. Nor did you think he would ever call you cumming in less than thirty seconds hot. Yet here he was with a straining erection, his plush tip glistening with pre, demanding you call him Daddy. Honestly, you had never been more aroused either. "Ch-char… holy fuck." Your own words stammered and stuck in your throat. The blond chuckling warmly as you seemed awestruck.

"Don't be like that, Sugarcube. Your mouth has better uses. Clean yourself up. Scoop all that cum into your cute little mouth. Show Daddy how badly you want his cum." Instructions you quickly followed. Two fingers sliding through the mess on your belly and bringing it to your waiting mouth. Lewdly moaning to make sure your dream man had the best show in the world. You wanted him to never end this, and if happily eating your own cum was what he wanted… it was what he would get. Your tongue pushing apart your fingers to clean between them before you repeated the action. Another scoop of your own cum dancing on your tongue. Fuck, were you already getting hard again? You supposed that was the best part of cumming so quickly anytime you got into it, you were always ready to go again real soon. Apparently he noticed you growing hard too, because your next instructions followed not long after.

"Sugar cube, you're going to cum directly into your own mouth this time. Lay on your shoulders, and bend those pretty legs over to rest at your head. Use the wall to help support you if you need to. I just wanna watch you get all cute and cum drunk on your own cum. Can you do that for Daddy?” His instructions weren’t hard in theory. But actually maneuvering your body to make it work was actually kind of hard to do. But after a few minutes, and comments from the man about how juicy your ass looked, you managed to get the position perfect. Your tight asshole on display as well, but Chargebolt wasn’t looking for that yet. He wanted you to eat your own cum. Tentatively you began to stroke your length again, at least you would last longer than thirty seconds this time. You hoped so at least. It would be pretty fucking embarassing if you only lasted less than a minute again. You might as well just end the call, move away from Japan, change your name., and start a new life as a Norwegian sheep farmer or something if that happened. Premature ejaculation wasn’t cute, no one would want you if they knew you only lasted a few seconds. Your soft moans filled the air, and you felt something bubbling in your stomach. Only a few strokes in and already you were getting closer by the second.

“Cum for me, Sugarcube. Open your mouth and cum on that pretty tongue of yours for Daddy. I love how quickly you cum. I can already hear how needy you are. Just like last time, you get so pink when you need to cum. And look at all your precum dripping onto your pretty lips. Perfect lips for wrapping around Daddy’s cock. Cum for Daddy so he can cum too.” Honeyed words low and sultry. If you opened your eyes you would see his hand flying furiously over his length. The blond trying to cum at the same time you did. But he wouldn't get there before you did, already you were spilling down into your waiting mouth. Groaning at the slightly sweet taste blossoming over your tastebuds. Legs collapsing by your head, your body almost falling off the bed as you tried to right yourself again.

It was amazing the sight you saw. The blond man, basically a twink in his own right, completely debauched. Chest covered in his own spunk, a dazed look on his face, both thumbs sticking up as he blinked a few times as his only response to you asking if he was alright. Did he always overcharge when he came? Was this normal for him? Part of you wanted to try and contact someone to check on him, but the better part of you knew to just give him a few minutes to recover. Grabbing a tissue from your bedside table and cleaning your chest off slowly, keeping an eye on the man filling your laptop screen. Making sure he didn’t like, die or something. Could you die from cumming to hard? Was it possible for his quirk to completely fry his brain? But then you heard him say something other than whey. At least he wasn’t brain dead. That was good.

“Denki. S’my name. Use it… Kaminari Denki.” Words slightly slurred, but clearly understandable. He was giving you open permission to not only use his name… But his given name. Holy fuck. Of course you whispered back your own name. Letting him know he was free to use yours. The two of you had a good connection, and continued this on for a while longer.

BONUS

“So… Denks. Why the ever loving fuck did you choose Fenk8?” It was Kirishima that asked that while you all lounged on your couch. The entire squad knew how you and Danki got together, apparently he never shut up about you in the beginning. Always mentioning the really cool baker guy that made the best sweets. It was actually Bakugou that stole Denki’s phone and made the request for the video call that night. Tired of hearing the electric blond complaining over how awesome you were.“Heh… Funny story. It was supposed to be Denk8, but I misspelt it while signing up and didn’t notice. Cn’t change your username, even if you’re a pro apparently. If you said it out loud it was supposed to sound like my name. The 8 was for my di-” Cut off by a pillow thrown at him by Hanta while Mina died laughing. You even couldn’t help the laughter as you heard what was shouted through the pillow over his mouth. “-CK PIERCINGS! BECAUSE I HAVE ONE FOR EACH INCH OF MY COCK!”

#denki #kaminari #denki kaminari #kaminari denki #chargebolt #reader #male reader #fanfic #kaminari x reader #denki x reader #chargebolt x reader #yaoi #listen this is a whole mess #bnha harem server #server collab #bnha server collab #dumbasses in love #denki is pretty chaotic

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ghoste-catte · 3 years

Note

multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee

@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol

This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...”

It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.

6. least popular fic this year

By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention.

9. longest wip of the year

If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever?

12. favorite character to write about this year

Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.

15. something you learned this year

I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!)

18. current number of WIPs

Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)

21. most memorable comment/review

This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?

24. favorite fic you read this year

You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:

Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words.

Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.

The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat.

Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series.

I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.

Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast

I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this.

And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges.

Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it.

Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?

the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered.

Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good.

heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line.

Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous.

Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life.

Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++.

Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough.

Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny.

To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect.

affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure.

Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed.

a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this.

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff.

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well!

fanfic end of the year asks!

#answered #ask meme #sagemoderocklee #Anonymous

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calligraphist-artemisia · 4 years

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Harry Potter and the Best Summer (4 | Friendship)

Summary: AU - canon divergence. Harry had barely been back at the Dursley’s for two weeks, when an unexpected visitor arrived at the door. He quickly finds himself spirited away back to the wizarding world and learns some secrets that have long been kept from him.

A sequel to Of Family and Unexpected Friendship. Also posted on AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune.

And for anyone who’s interested, I made a Harry Potter discord server! Introducing, Virtu Alley! (like “virtually”, get it?) Feel free to pop by and chat if you’d like. (https://discord.gg/AUq3eXY)

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4 | Friendship

Hermione was worried.

How could she not be, after each letter she sent to Harry went unanswered? She even checked with Ron and got a response back the same day saying that he hadn't heard from their friend either. Two weeks was simply too long to not hear from him, especially after he promised to write.

She worried her lower lip as she reread the same paragraph in her book for the fifth time.

If she didn't hear from him soon, she would have to find a way to meet up with Ron and his family. Or perhaps Leona would have better advice for what to do. There had to be someone who could help find out what was wrong – because something was very clearly wrong.

Hermione wasn't blind to the signs of abuse her friend exhibited. He never said a word, but she noticed the way he kept his head down and didn't ask their professors any questions. She noticed the ill-fitting muggle clothing that belonged to someone much bigger than Harry. She noticed how thin and small he was. The tape that one held his glasses together until she fixed them with a simple reparo. How he remained behind during the holidays and mentioned more than once how he wished he could stay at Hogwarts over the summer.

“Is everything alright, sweetheart? You've been glaring at your book for some time,” Mrs. Granger remarked.

Hermione glanced up, a little startled to find both of her parents sitting with her at the kitchen table. She hadn't heard either of them come into the room.

Before her letter, she had been exceptionally close to her parents. She could talk to them about nearly anything and they would understand – they were the closest she had to friends, as she had trouble relating to anyone her own age. And then her letter came and opened her eyes up to an entirely new world for her to explore, but it was a world that her parents would never fully understand. Suddenly, whenever she went to talk about her new textbooks or interesting details she had read, they both struggled to keep up.

They still cared. Hermione would never think otherwise. But there was a wedge forming between them brought about by her magic and she had spent the past two weeks trying to figure out how to bridge that gap when she wasn't worrying about Harry.

“It's my friend, Harry,” she admitted cautiously. “He hasn't written to any of us even though he promised he would and I'm concerned something might be wrong.”

“It could just be that he's been busy...” Mr. Granger trailed off as he took in the expression on his daughter's face.

Mrs. Granger reached across the table and gently squeezed Hermione's hand. “Is there any way we can help? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Harry lives with his Aunt and Uncle and... I don't think they treat him nicely. He's never said anything about it. Not really. But he's smaller than I am and I've seen the muggle clothing he wore when we returned from Hogwarts. It's like it was meant for someone three-times his size!” Hermione let the words flow, knowing her parents would be able to keep up with her train of thought. She bulldozed her way through her concerns, glad for the chance to rant, and when she was done both of her parents looked pensive.

“You're certain about all of this? Child abuse is a serious claim, Hermione,” reminded Mr. Granger.

Hermione nodded.

Knowing that they were taking her seriously, she gave them all of the details she knew about Vernon and Petunia Dursley and hoped that it would be enough to make some sort of change in her friend's life. Her parents left her alone once she finished and Hermione went back to her book, only to be interrupted a few minutes later by a persistent tap against the window.

She looked up.

Perched on the stand her parents placed specifically for owls was a wide-eyed bird with tall ears and an orange-brown face. White spots dotted its brown chest.

Hermione felt a flash of disappointment that it wasn't Hedwig but still stood to allow it inside. It hooted softly as it stepped up onto her arm and then stuck out its leg so she could open the attached capsule and remove a letter, which magically expanded back to its full size once it was in her hand.

She carried the owl over to the perch she bought and gave it a treat before settling back at the table to examine her letter.

The envelope was sealed with a thin layer of blue wax and stamped with a crest bearing a dog – maybe a greyhound? It seemed familiar, but Hermione couldn't place where she'd seen it before, so she cautiously broke the seal and pulled out the letter, her eyes scanning over unfamiliar handwriting before she actually took in any of the words.

To Miss Hermione Granger,

My name is Aquarius Black and I'm writing to you for Harry. We think he has a block on his mail, which is why you have not heard from him this summer and why he has not received any of your letters. To get around this, I'm writing instead.

Harry is here with me and Leona and our family and will not be going back to his muggle relatives. You can write to him at Oakstone Manor, but for now you should address your letters to Leona until we find out what's blocking Harry's mail.

There's a lot going on right now, but Leona says you're welcome to join us at the manor in a week or two. Hopefully by then Harry will be able to send you a letter without our help.

Sincerely,

Aquarius Lily Black

P.S. The owl is named Butternut and she is a long-eared owl. She'll wait until you're ready to send a letter back, since Harry says you don't have one of your own.

Harry was alright.

He was safe and with Leona and her family.

A weight lifted from Hermione's shoulders as she reread the letter from Aquarius, belatedly recalling that Leona had mentioned something about having a little sister.

It was strange that Harry's mail was blocked, especially considering he hadn't had that problem while he was at school. Maybe that was what Aquarius meant when she said they had “a lot going on”. Well, that and getting custody over Harry, which couldn't be as easy as picking him up and refusing the return him to his Aunt and Uncle.

Hermione looked over at Butternut the owl, who was happily settling down for a nap after her long flight. She would write a letter back in a while, but first Hermione needed to tell her parents what happened.

She stood up and hurried away to find them.

- - - - - - -

With every ounce of the famed Gryffindor courage that he possessed, Harry knocked on Remy's office door and waited until she welcomed him inside before opening the door. As he looked around, he found it was nothing like what he expected an office to look like and yet, at the same time, exactly what he expected.

A massive bookcase made up an entire wall of the room, filled to the brim with books of varying sizes as well as unusual orbs and other items. A desk was pushed up against the opposite side and had its own shelves on either side of it, which contained everything a person would ever need to write a letter. A plush amber rug patterned with roses rested in the center of the room. And opposite the door was a tea table with two chairs, which allowed for a view over the side yard.

Remy was seated at the table.

“You wanted to see me?” Harry asked, unable to shake the feeling of being called to the teacher's office to explain some imagined “misbehavior”. (Which usually had something to do with whatever excuse the Dursley's invented to explain why he lived with them.)

Remy gestured to the empty seat with a smile. “Come join me.”

The smile did little to ease his fears and Harry had to take a moment to remind himself that Remy was Leona's mum and that she wasn't anything like his family or the teachers he dealt with while growing up. He couldn't imagine what she wanted to talk to him about. Unless...

Harry swallowed as he sat down.

He'd known it was all too good to be true. Remy and Andromeda already had a house full and it was one thing to invite him to stay for one summer, but taking him in permanently was something far different.

“I want to apologize, Harry.”

He closed his eyes, already accepting what he knew he was about to hear.

“I can't help but feel as though I've failed you as your magical guardian. First by allowing my grief to overcome me so badly that I never tried to check in on you until it was too late and then in not insisting on being allowed to visit. And in failing you, I failed James and Lily,” Remy said softly.

Harry dared to look up, disbelief keeping him from speaking. He wasn't getting sent away...?

“On top of that, today I learned that Sirius has been innocent all along and I allowed myself to get swept right back up into my grief, never thinking to stop and ask you how you feel about all of this.” Remy paused for a moment to lift her eyes and look at him. “Andromeda mentioned you didn't ask many questions about your Inheritance test. Is there anything you wanted to talk about?”

Harry shrugged. He had plenty of questions, but no idea where to start with any of it.

Remy was quiet for a moment, giving him plenty of time to speak up, and then began to explain their plans for the next week. “We received a letter from Madam Bones saying that Sirius is no longer in Azkaban and is in a Ministry holding cell instead. He's being treated by a team of hand-picked Healers to make sure he's ready to stand trial at the end of the week. We won't be allowed to visit until then.

“While we wait, Ted had a few suggestions to make sure no one has real reason to fight my claim as magical guardian. You'll need to make a trip to St. Mungo's to get the core block cleared up and so they can examine the damage left by your scar. Ted thinks the block made it so your magic couldn't respond to the injury effectively and that it'll be an easy fix, but it's always better to be careful. While you're there, you'll also get a basic check-up and they'll make sure you're up-to-date on magical vaccinations. If it's alright with you, we have already scheduled that for tomorrow.”

Harry nodded in agreement. He didn't see any reason not to.

“Excellent,” Remy said, her smile returning. “Now, I know you said you don't have any questions, but I thought we could review your Inheritance test. There are a few things Leona is unlikely to have had time to teach you yet.”

Harry sat up a little straighter as she removed a folded up copy of his test from her pocket and smoothed it out over the table. The name Slytherin beckoned to him but he remained quiet.

“House Inheritance is always listed in order of importance,” she said, beginning at the bottom of the list. “House Potter, while well-respected in our society, is only a Noble House. In terms of power, it means it carries a single vote within the Wizengamot. Have you heard much about what the Wizengamot does, Harry?”

He had to think for a moment. “They... make laws?”

“It is the lawmaking body of the British magical community,” Remy confirmed. “As I was saying, House Potter carries one vote. Next is House Peverell, which is a Noble and Most Ancient House. While no one carries the surname any longer, there are those in higher circles who have always remained aware that the main line married into the Potter family. James was a Peverell Heir as well, though he never had time to take up the Lordship with the war going on.” She paused for a moment. “Noble and Most Ancient Houses carry three votes within the Wizengamot. For several hundred years, they have held the most voting power.”

Remy slid her finger up to Slytherin. “The Founder Houses earned the title Noble and Ancient long after their lines faded away. Despite only being Noble and Ancient, which in most cases allowed for two votes, they have four votes within the Wizengamot.”

“What does the part after it mean? The conquest thing?” Harry blurted out.

Remy didn't appear at all bothered by the interruption. “It's a rare form of bloodline transfer. It only occurs when the last members of two bloodlines meet each other in battle with the intent to kill. We believe Voldemort-” (She shuddered as she spoke the name.) “-was the last remaining Heir of Slytherin. When he turned his wand onto you and his magic rebounded, Magic passed along the line of Slytherin to you.”

“So we're not related?” Harry had to double-check.

“No,” Remy said, shaking her head. “Perhaps distantly; most purebloods are related in some way, but it wouldn't be closely.”

That was the most relieving thing Harry had heard since Leona said he wouldn't have to go back to the Dursley's. The very thought of being related to Voldemort...

Harry clenched his hand into the fabric of his too-large pants. “Do I have to be the Heir?”

“Well, I don't think you have to announce it to everyone,” Remy said slowly. “When you turn seventeen you'll take the Inheritance test again to see if any other lines have accepted you and then you'll be given your Lordship rings. Even if magic declares you the Heir to a line, the family magics may still reject your claim to Lordship. After that, however, it won't be something you can hide.”

Privately, Harry hoped the magic of Slytherin would reject him and he wouldn't have to be Heir or Lord.

“On to your final House...” Remy moved her finger to the top of the list. “The Royal House of Emrys, of Merlin himself.”

Even though he already knew that Emrys was the House of Merlin, Harry still shivered as he realized he was heir to one of the most powerful magical Houses in Britain.

“I can't say that I understand all of it myself, but I wasn't born into any kind of Noble or Ancient House,” Remy admitted. “The one thing I do know is that Magic Herself chose you to be Heir of that line.”

“What does that mean?” Harry asked.

“Historically, it means that change is coming. Where one Royal House shows up, the others quickly follow,” Remy told him. “But you don't need to worry about any of that right now. We'll take this one step at a time, starting with your family House.”

Harry nodded. He already felt better after listening to her explain a few things. And she hadn't reacted poorly when he asked questions, instead seeming happy to answer each one. “So what about the, um, recessive lines?”

Remy looked delighted by the question and slowly took the time to talk a little about each one. House Evans was started by Lily, of course, as the first of her name. It was likely to be a matriarchal line which would pass to any of Harry's daughters, if he had any.

House Larkspur also came through Lily and was a very old House whose last member passed away nearly three-hundred years prior. They were once famed for their production of blue inks derived from the flower for which they were named. Remy further explained that Lily came into the inheritance through a squib ancestor.

And the last was House Eerie, an Ancient House that merged with Peverell in the 1600s. The title had been a dormant one since then, with no one being named Heir nor Lord. It was unlikely that Harry would be granted to title either, but the fact that it remained strong enough in their bloodline that it routinely appeared in the Inheritance tests meant that one day the Ancient House would return to its former glory.

Harry lost track of time as he sat and listened to Remy talk. He didn't hesitate to ask questions as they came to mind, helped along by the fact that his new guardian never once made him feel as though he wasn't allowed.

“I was wondering about my core. Leona said there would be things she couldn't teach me because the Potter's are a Light family, but my test says that have a Dark core,” Harry said.

Remy thought for a moment. “That... I'm unsure about. It's true that House Potter has always had Light leanings, but I don't believe it's a requirement. Sirius would know for certain. He was informally adopted by your grandparents when he was sixteen. Was there something specific you wanted to know about your core orientation?”

“I-I guess I was just wondering... I mean, isn't Dark magic bad?” Harry asked hesitantly.

“Unfortunately, that is not a question that can be answered with a simple yes or no, but I can tell you that having a Dark core does not make you a bad person. With the exception of Ted, who has a Gray core, everyone living here in Oakstone is Dark,” Remy said.

“You too?” Harry asked in surprise.

Remy nodded. “Me too. It's not typical of the Lupin family, but... there are extenuating circumstances...”

For the first time, Harry thought she looked uneasy.

“There's something you should know about me if you want to stay here. It's part of the reason why I never tried to fight for custody of you. Why no one wanted to listen when I protested Sirius' arrest at first.

“I'm a werewolf.”

The word drew up stories of full moons and wolf-like creatures hunting in dark forests in search of prey. Harry hadn't stopped to think that maybe some of the muggle ghost-stories he grew up hearing other kids talk about might have some sort of truth to them in the wizarding world and he wished that he paid more attention to them.

Looking at Remy, he couldn't see her as a bloodthirsty monster however, there was no reason for her to lie about something like that. So she was a werewolf. But what did that mean in the wizarding world?

Judging by the way Remy was acting it wasn't a good thing. It was enough to stop anyone from listening to her about serious matters, but not enough for them to take Leona and Aquarius out of her care. Would it be something that would nullify her guardianship of him? Or...

“Did my parents know?” he asked.

“They did,” Remy confirmed. “Your father figured it out fairly early on in school but didn't confront me about it until our third year. As for Lily, she never said when she found out. I think I mentioned in my letters how I never got to know your mother until our final two years. I remember vividly the first time she made a joke about it – calling it my 'furry little problem' with such ease that I wouldn't have caught on if it weren't for James and Sirius. They thought it was hilarious, of course, and referred to my condition in that way ever since.”

Harry did his best to gather his thoughts before saying anything else. “Okay, so you're a werewolf. And my mum and dad knew. And everyone here?”

“Leona and Aquarius have known since they were old enough to understand what it meant. I want to assure you, Harry, that I take every precaution possible during the full moon. Ted isn't a master, but as a healer, he has some skill in potions, and he brews me the Wolfsbane potion every month. It helps me keep my human mind so that I don't try to attack anyone. I also leave for a cottage that exists behind a number of protective wards designed to keep me in and everyone else out. I would never put you or anyone else in danger,” Remy said quickly.

Harry thought he'd much rather take the risk of being in a house with a werewolf than go back to the Dursley's, especially when said werewolf actually cared about his well-being. So he shrugged and turned his attention back to his Inheritance test, completely missing the shocked expression that came across Remy's face.

“So what about these abilities? Parseltongue is the snake language one, right? Does that mean dragonspeak is talking to actual dragons?”

“I- er, yes,” Remy said, her voice a little strained. “Dragonspeak is an incredibly rare ability. I'm afraid not much is known about it, but I'll be glad to help you research, if you'd like.”

Harry nodded and their conversation continued on, lightly covering the topic of the properties and vaults which he inherited - “You'll learn more about those through Gringotts.” - and then onto stories about his parents. Neither seemed to notice exactly how much time had passed until Andromeda knocked on the door to inform them that it was nearing midnight and that they had another busy day ahead of them.

Harry crawled into bed with thoughts of his parents and their friends, back when times were peaceful and easy.

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter fanfiction #Harry Potter AU #HP and the traditions of the magical world #wizarding inheritance

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tayyabarhsad-blog · 5 years

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Utopia A New Decentralized Ecosystem And Blockchain

Utopia — Revolutionary Decentralized P2P Ecosystem

Would it fascinate you if you would stumble upon a decentralized peer-to-peer ecosystem that consists of instant secure messenger, mail system, mineable cryptocurrency, file storage and a built-in browser ?

If any of the above mentioned aspects and the video you just watched got your attention, you are in for a great treat today. Keep on reading because you will be impressed with what I am going to share.

Email with Digital Utopian Claims

It started with an ordinary outreach email , where the media firm was asking for advertisement of their ‘Program’ , but when I read through the email and the claims it made I was certain that either its another scam or something really big (i was bit inclined towards the scam thing) , quoting text from email

30MilesNorth PR Firm further outsourced their campaign to another marketing firm while ‘CryptoHill.io’ didn’t even bother to get back to me when I replied to the email. Not a good start.

Update: CryptoHill contacted and outsourced 30MileNorth and not the other way.

Little I knew that my opinions would change when would visit their beta portal and as I started digging , I found the concept intriguing with potential and an actual ‘working’ beta product for us to take out for a ride.

Utopia — Anti 1984 Ecosystem

Utopia is a decentralized peer-to-peer network, With Utopia you can send instant text and voice messages, transfer files, create group chats and channels, send emails and conduct a private discussion. Currently Utopia is an application for Windows, iOS and Linux which offers all the features within one application. Utopia users get on their ‘Utopia ecosystem‘ as the application also provides a built-in Idyll browser to view websites within Utopia peer-to-peer network . Utopia comes with a Cryptocurrency which is called ‘Crypton‘ and is Proof-of-Stake. uWallet allows you to store,transfer your Crypton(CRP) or even create vouchers and credit cards, Utopia Network includes Utopia Name System (UNS) which is a decentralized registry of names that are impossible to expropriate, freeze or corrupt by 3rd-party as no one has control over the system rather its self-governed by rules set in place which are applicable to everyone. After you join Utopia you may wanna drop by our Hackology channel, which you can search in the Channel Manager

JOIN UTOPIA

Register yourself as a Beta Tester, Contributor or a Promoter. Each category gets to enjoy the ecosystem while the rewards vary (reward system will be explained shortly).

Utopia ecosystem is a culmination of multi-year effort by a group of technology enthusiasts dedicated to freedom of self-expression and privacy. We call ourselves a 1984 Group. Among us there are top-notch professionals in almost every IT field, such as cryptographic, software, networking engineers and many more. This has been a long and challenging journey. After all this had never been done before! Finally, we present an ecosystem that will change the way World communicates and handles financial transactions.

Utopia brief taken from their official website. Mentioning ‘financial transactions’ makes one wonder that Bitcoin was also disrupting the conventional financial system

Utopia Encryption

Each user participates in transmission of network data but only the recipient can decrypt the data. Advanced encryption ensures interception-proof communication channel to all Utopia users. All communication is secure and protected by Curve25519 high-speed elliptic curve cryptographywhile local storage is encrypted by 256-bit AES. Big Brother is no longer watching you!

Installing Utopia

Once you register on the Beta Portal you have to download Utopia Application. After installing the application you will be given a Hardware ID and a Private Key, these keys are required to activate your beta license which can be done from the Activation Page. Please keep in mind that your beta portal website login credentials are not linked with Utopia Application and you can have a different username for the app and the website. Once you activate the license your utopia account will be tied with your beta portal account. A step by step procedure for easy understanding of the activation procedure:

Download Utopia software

Install the program by following simple instructions on installation wizard

Run Utopia and Create your account. You will be provided with Public Key and Hardware ID. Those are needed to activate your Utopia software

Click on JOIN BETA

Agree to the Rules and click SUBMIT

Click on NEW ACTIVATION and Enter Public Key and Hardware ID

Click ADD

Now your Utopia is activated and you are ready to test it

Utopia Dashboard

Utopia is a feature-rich platform that is specifically designed to protect privacy of communication, confidentiality and security of personal data. It was created for privacy-conscious public who believe that privacy is paramount. Utopia is a decentralized network, with no central server involved in data transmission or storage. The network is supported by people who use it’s many high quality features.

The first glimpse we get of the application is at the Dashboard which has navigational menu for easy access to all of its many features for us to explore, use and report bugs while it is in beta testing phase.

uMail (Utopia Mail)

uMail is a secure alternative to classic e-mail. uMail can be sent to Utopia users that are in your contact list for now. uMail has all functionality of email localized to Utopia ecosystem. No servers are used for mail transmission or storage. uMail account, that is created by default when you join the Utopia network, enables unlimited messaging and attachment storage. Utopia ecosystem encryption guarantees the security of mail transmission and storage. Your uMail, as an internal part of Utopia, cannot be blocked or seized.

All those who value their data privacy would find this useful including activists and journalists knowing that their data is going straight to the designated user and no 3rd party can intercept their data. Currently the limit set for the attachments is 100 MB but as per the team it may be increased in future.

uWallet (Utopia Wallet)

All financial functionality can be found in Utopia built-in uWallet. uWallet allows you to make and accept payments denominated in Utopia cryptocurrency ‘Crypton‘, accept payments at your website, pay by Crypto Cards without revealing your Identity or bill fellow Utopia users for your services. With uWallet you can store value in Cryptons, receive mining rewards, use uVouchers, request payments and accept payments using the built-in API.

All of this while you remain anonymous. All payments are instant and cannot be reversed. Decentralized nature of Utopia ensures that your balance cannot be expropriated.

Utopia Mining — Crypton

Utopia has an inbuilt cryptocurrency called Crypton (CRP), which is proof-of-stake therefore a modest machine can also be used to mine cryptons through the GUI based Utopia application or with terminal based Mining bot which comes with the application.

Utopia rewards users that support the ecosystem through Mining by emission of new Cryptons. When you run your Utopia software or bot you will receive your share of collective reward. Mining does not slow your computer down and is environmentally friendly. You may also run a number of bots at several servers or computers to multiply the Crypton mining speed.

uNS (Utopia Naming System)

Utopia has introduced uNS (Utopia Naming System) which is a unique naming system and independent from the conventional Domain Naming System. DNS is subject to pressure and censorship from less than prefect international laws. Domains can be revoked or suspended due to multiple reasons, such as non-response to WhoIS inquiry or other register policies, non-payment, government actions and so on.

uNS, in contrast, is a truly decentralized non-censored registry hosted by Utopia Network participants with no expiration dates, renewal fees, suspensions and revocations. There is only one rule: First come, First served.

uNS registered name should be unique. You may register as many uNS registered names as you want while registration is not free and costs are paid in crypton:

Single letter uNS costs 1000 CRP

Two letter uNS costs 500 CRP

Three letter uNS costs 5 CRP

Four letter or more costs 0.1 CRP

Miscellaneous Features

Making Groups, Adding users, Chatting and Emailing, Sending Mails and Mining Cryptons might be the highlights but Utopia claims to be an ecosystem therefore they had to incorporate many more features so that users of Utopia ecosystem do not feel the need to go out of the system. List of other useful features within the Utopia Application are listed

Packet Forwarding : uNS Manager lists option of ‘Packet Forwarding’ which is an internal system allowing any utopian user to host a website which can be accessed by the Idyll browser, the naming system of the website is explained above, if you register hackology uNS you can make a website and it will open when you visit http://hackology/ and that is it. This option allows to tunnel any kind of data between users in ecosystem, making possible to host different types of resources including websites inside Utopia Network. At the time of writing few fellow Utopia users made Utopia sites which can be accessed at utopia://trade/ and at utopia://crystalforest etc. If you have ported your site to Utopia let me know so I may add it here aswell. I am ported some of my sites to Utopia aswell, utopia://blog.drhack.net , utopia://paste.drhack.net, utopia://drhack.net can all be accessed in Idyl Browser inside utopia.

File Manager : All files which are sent or received in Utopia can be accessed from the builtin file manager which also includes an image viewer. As of now the file transfers are limited to 100MB.

Voice Notes : Utopia also supports sending and receiving of Voice messages which you can send to those who are added with you.

Dark Theme : The program comes in standard theme but how can they miss out a Dark Theme for the privacy savvy ? Users can opt for dark theme by going to Tools > Settings > Interface and selecting the ‘Dark Space‘ theme

Utopia API : Utopia comes with a comprehensive API for users to incorporate in their own projects. For instance, using API you can accept payments denominated in Crypton at your website, automatically manage your channels, send instant messages and much more. To get started once you enable the API you can also access the API documentation.

Network Fee Structure : Utopia provides us with an option to view all the network enforced fee and they are updated live on the network as the fee structure changes, thus one can stay updated with the current fee structure. You can access the Network Fee from uWallet > Treasury Data > Network Fee

Game : Utopia also supports in-app games which can be played in multiplayer, as of writing there is a working Chess game.

File Storage / Hosting : A team user nickname 1984 in Utopia Chat Lobby mentioned that as of now there is no File storage. But In future Utopia will have some kind of music and video streaming online services, decentralized file, image and blog hosting. The reserved amount of RAM for mining ‘ll be used as cache for the whole network. For example 1,300,000 online users with current RAM allocation will provide about 1 Petabyte of raw storage for caching purposes.

Utopia Reward System

Utopia is providing a very lucrative reward system, where Beta Testers, Contributors & Promoters all can join the beta portal and help test and find bugs which in return gets you ‘pts‘ where 1 pt equals to 1 USD which are paid in BTC.

We truly believe that your participation has to be exciting and mutually beneficial. Utopia Beta Program rewards your enthusiasm, commitment and dedication. No matter what is your skill set you will find an opportunity to contribute to Utopia P2P Project development.

At the time of writing I have already cashed out $560 and transferred them to my own bitcoin wallet. I can vouch that if you have the eye to spot bugs it is a good place to help them and in return get paid. Uptil now Utopia team has paid out $7683 to beta testers which is a decent figure keeping in view that they launched 35 days back and still 2 months of beta testing period is left.

If you are not a bug finding sort you can still help and give them suggestions and ideas on how to improve their application or go ahead and share this on social media pages and get paid for being a ‘promoter’. Withdrawals are done manually and as per the rule it can take up-to 48 hours, but I have noticed that within an hour or so they release the funds.

Do Earn but DONT SPAM they have mentioned categorically that have zero spam tolerance

Trust Utopia or NOT

Utopia might be very good project but it does give birth to some questions.

Anonymous Creators : Here is an example, Utopia was created by a group of LEA’s to cater for a particular drug mafia and they made an app for it and will let it float and gain credibility and as we don’t know who made the App we have no idea to know what the ‘real’ intent was.

Closed Source : Lets not disclose the owners but why would the App source be closed ? Ok Fine it is not infected with malware but how can the community trust a closed source eco-system ? How can we take their word for it ?

Forced Alteration : Another scenario is that we don’t know but somehow the founders of the application are exposed at some level and are being forced to enter backdoor into the software what indications will we have that it is still pure ?

Long Way to Go : Utopia will be out of Beta by October 2019 , there are alot of things which the team is actively addressing and improving. Many of the queries will also be answered by then aswell and having an alternative in this era is a great thing. An alternative which is not monitored and controlled and promises to give us the privacy of our data which we deserve and is our right.

Peers Control : In later stages the peer count might increase to give stability to the system but blocking network peers by an ISP could result in disrupting the ecosystem, as of now we have 8–14 peers to which our Utopia network connects and the transmission although encrypted goes to these IP addresses which are in clear plain-text. As the network is closed source, only those peers can be add to the network which are selected by Utopia Team thus the process would require constant involvement of the team to keep the network running and stabilized. What Software is run on the Peers ? No one knows answer to that until one day someone exploits a system running the network-peer-control-system.

Utopia Team Responds

I asked the queries from Utopia to get their feedback, I raised the same questions which I have stated above, carry on to read their response

Anonymous Creators : I have to say that given the scope and nature of the project, disclosing the identity of creators is not really an option. Think about it, Utopia ecosystem is literally a game changer in secure communication. There is no need to worry about censorship, surveillance, deanonymization and so on. The software is destined to make an impact and that impact comes with unpredictable consequences. We simply do not want our team to be subjected to any kind of pressure.

Closed Source : We may disclose certain parts of code, specifically related to communication and encryption. However, decentralized protocol will not be released. Utopia is a very knowledge intensive software. A lot of time, effort and resources went into this product and we do not want to share all of our know-how as it will result in forks which in turn may result in instability of our main network. Fork will lead to division of the community, while our intention is unification of community of like-minded individuals. The bottom line here is that a lot of software is closed source and this does not hurt them a bit.

Forced Alteration : In addition to the Anonymous Creators point, we can implement a warrant canary and place it right into About section of software.

Community Trust Options : On Anonymous Founders and Source Code, we will try to think about other ideas that will assure community to trust Utopia.

Peer Control : Peers are people who use Utopia and mining bots. Obviously they are the key to network stability and performance as they provide connectivity i.e. they participate in data transmission in encrypted mode. The reason why we implemented such an unusual mining model, is that we want to motivate and reward users to stay online/keep bots online hence provide a lot of routing options. If a peer is disconnected, Utopia client will automatically connect to another peer and so on.

Crypton on External Crypto Exchanges : The decision to list Crypton is the discretion of the exchanges. However, we plan to implement our own built-in exchange.

Why Crypton : Crypton is meant to serve as means of payment within Utopia. It is fast and convenient to use. The fees collected will go towards maintaining the network and is a way to control total amount of Cryptons in circulation. Mining, by definition, is emission. Fees, on the other hand, is a way to compensate for this emission by extracting the Cryptons from circulation.

Conclusion

I am impressed by Utopia ecosystem and we should let such systems mature so that they can reach their true potential because I truly believe we need a system were our privacy and our data can stay truly ours, a system where my messages are delivered and read by the recipient I intend sending too, a system where my identity stays private as long as I want it. As of now internet is changing into a place where our identity and our privacy is sold to make other companies profit, profits are done by selling us off. Many say that they do not mind if their data is sold off — It is a matter of time those will also realize the hard way that how much it costs when you are being sold off. Join Utopia, Become a Tester and be part of something unique.

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thfox724 · 3 years

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Keylogger For Mac Os Free

Every month or so I get scam messages demanding payments in Bitcoins for the images of me they allegedly took using my webcam. They claim that they use keyloggers to control my computer.

So, how to know if your Mac has a keyLogger? There are two types of keyloggers: hardware and software. Examine external USB devices connected to the Mac for hardware keyloggers. Use Activity Monitor to look for unknown processes when checking for software keylogger. Check Privacy options in System Preferences for applications with too much privileges. Install tools such as Malwarebytes and MacScan and scan computer.

It’s pretty easy to guess that this software is designed for parental monitoring of. Anti-keylogger for Mac OS X, download best alternative solutions carefully chosen by our editors and user community. Anti-keylogger for Mac: download free alternatives OTHER PROJECTS. Free Elite Keylogger for Mac: Free Elite Keylogger for Mac easily records everything a Mac user types on the monitored computer. Easily capture what they are emailing about, discussing on chats.

How do Keyloggers Work

Keylogger or keystroke logger is a spyware application that runs invisibly for users and logs (saves on the local disk or sends to the cloud) every key that users press on the computer.

Usually, keyloggers are used by hackers to collect your credit card information you enter on various web sites. They also collect your usernames and passwords, so they can steal money from your bank accounts.

The goal of a keylogger is not to collect information for as long as possible, that’s why you may never know that it was installed.

It does not suddenly slow down your computer (unless it is sending information over the internet), it does not pop up scary messages in Safari or Chrome, it does not redirect your browser to wrong web sites. It just quietly hides on your computer and gathers your data in order to use it later.

How keyloggers get installed

Typically, they get installed as part of free software you download from the Internet. The free software may contain a keylogger code inside of it so the former installs the latter on the computer.

Once installed the keyloggers starts collecting information and sends it to storage in the cloud where the hacker can access it. Keyloggers can also be installed as browser extensions.

Hardware keyloggers

There are two types of keyloggers: hardware and software. While hardware keyloggers apply mostly to desktops they are impossible to detect with the software. The hardware keylogger is usually attached to the computer and a keyboard is attached to the device.

Every time you press a key on the keyboard the device records it in its local storage and then passes the key information to the computer. If you want, you can buy a hardware keylogger on Amazon.

Software-based keystroke loggers are much more powerful because they run on the computer itself and they have access to the entire computer, not just a keyboard.

Is Keylogger Malware?

A keylogger can be either malware, like rootkit, or legitimate software installed on your computer. Commercial applications that log the keyboard input on the computer can be installed by parents who want to monitor which sites their children are visiting on the Internet. Or the company may want to track employee activities.

Believe it or not, you can easily download and install a keylogger on your own Mac. Most popular keyloggers for Mac OS are:

Perfect Keylogger for Mac

Besides recording key presses these tools are capable of capturing screenshots, data in the clipboard, keep web browsing history.

In case of chat applications such as Skype, Viber or iMessage they can log messages from both sides: anything typed on your computer and incoming chat messages.

Some keyloggers are equipped with geolocation features. If the MacBook was stolen, they can be used to track it down because they will secretly send keystrokes and screenshots to the cloud. Keyloggers can also control your webcam and record videos or you can watch live from another computer.

You decide if it is ethical or legal to spy after children, spouse or employees. The goal of this article is to educate people about possibilities and describe ways to protect yourself from spying.

How to Install a Keylogger on Mac

To test how MacScan and Malwarebytes are capable of finding keyloggers I decided to install all four keyloggers on my Mac.

IMPORTANT: I don’t endorse any keylogger here. Moreover, if you want to avoid getting malware on your Mac, do not download software from anywhere except Apple App Store. Personally, I do not trust any of the above-mentioned keyloggers, so before installing them on my MacBook I did the following:

Took a backup of my drive

Reset MacBook to factory settings

Installed and tested keyloggers so I can report my findings here

Restored everything from the backup.

There is something fundamentally sleazy about spying after other people. No wonder that installing a keylogger reminded me of installing apps with potential viruses in it.

Elite Keylogger sent me to a jumpshare url, it didn’t let me download from their site. The problem I had with installing Elite is that its installer did not want to close, so I had to force shutdown my Mac. Check here if you want to know more about potential issues with force shutdowns.

The Perfect Keylogger sent me two emails: one with the link from which I could download an encrypted zip file and another with the password for the zip file. Google immediately flagged both messages as dangerous spam.

Spyrix and Aobo didn’t have such problems and Refog looked like a legit app with a proper installer. The interesting thing is that I was able to install all 5 of them at the same time and all four of them were recording keystrokes.

Does Malwarebytes or MacScan detect keyloggers?

Once I installed Malwarebytes it immediately recognized Elite keylogger as malware and put into quarantine. It was also able to detect Aobo and Refog. Unfortunately, it didn’t find anything wrong with Perfect Keylogger and Spyrix.

MacScan was more successful: it found 4 out of 5 apps, but it still missed Perfect Keylogger.

Conclusion: If you want to install a keylogger on your Mac go with Perfect one from Blazing tools. It didn’t get detected by either Malwarebytes or MacScan.

But again, do it at your own risk. If you ask my opinion, I would never install such an application on the computer where I entered my credit card information or password to my bank accounts.

On the other hand, I was disappointed with Malwarebytes and MacScan missing some apps. This experiment does not give me high confidence in malware protection tools.

So, what would I recommend you do if you believe that there is a keylogger app on your MacBook? Reset and reinstall your MacOS and immediately change all passwords for all web sites you were using.

Keylogger myths

Some people suggest a couple of workarounds that in their opinion can trick keyloggers. One of them is to use software-based keyboards. You can start such a keyboard by going to System Preferences and clicking on the “Keyboard” icon.

In “Input Sources” tab click on “Show input menu in menu bar”. Once you do it you can see a keyboard icon in the top bar near the battery icon. If you click on that icon and select “Show Keyboard Viewer” it will bring a software keyboard which you can use to type information and which supposedly will not be tracked by a keylogger.

Another workaround is to type a part of the password or the credit card number in the browser, then bring up a text editor, type a garbage text in it, switch back to the browser and type the second part of the secret password.

These workarounds possibly worked a long time ago when malware was not sophisticated, but now when they can take screenshots and have some intelligent software, I would not rely on the workarounds anymore.

Free Keylogger For Mac Os X

How to Detect Keylogger on Mac with Activity Monitor

Some people suggest checking for malware in Activity Monitor. The typical suggestion is to bring up the Activity Monitor and find the application that looks suspicious or you do not recognize.

This advice may work for someone who knows all applications running on Mac, but for an average user, all applications running on Mac are unfamiliar.

I am not claiming this is impossible however. For instance, Spyrix Keylogger appear in Activity Monitor as skm, and Perfect Keylogger as DashboardClient.

What to do when getting a scam email?

As said in the beginning everyone is getting emails which state that they set up malware on the certain web sites and “your browser began working as a RDP that has a key logger which provided me access to your display as well as cam”. It continues with a threat to send embarrassing information to your friends unless “you will make the payment via Bitcoin”.

Normally, these emails end up in a Spam folder, but if you are using an email other than Gmail chances are that they will appear in your Inbox. So, what should you do in this case? The answer is to Delete the email. This is called extortion

The hackers send such emails to millions of people with the hope that someone will be scared and will pay a ransom. They do not install keyloggers, it is cheaper to scare people by sending emails then target specific people.

How to Detect Commercial Keyloggers on Mac?

If you suspect that someone you know (your employer, spouse, parent, friend or enemy) is spying after you chances are that they installed one of the commercial keyloggers.

There is very little chance that they were able to find a malware soft built by hackers to infect your system because the malware will be sending your information to the hacker, not your personal enemy.

If you are looking to find if commercial keyloggers have been installed on your Mac, there are three ways to find: using Activity Monitor, checking default key combinations and checking the list of application with Full Disk Access.

Using Activity Monitor

Activity Monitor is still a good way to quickly find applications as long as you know their names:

Perfect Keylogger appears as DashboardClient in the monitor

Spyrix as skm

Look for ‘coreservicesd’ to find Aobo

Check for ‘Elite Keylogger’ when searching Elite Keylogger. However, the version I installed was free and it did not hide, so I don’t know how the process name will change for someone who buys a product.

And finally, ‘Refog’ appears as ‘syslogd’

Note: there are legit services called ‘syslogd‘ and ‘coreservicesd‘, so their presence doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a keylogger. To find out if the Mac was infected, scan it with the free version of Malwarebytes.

Using default key combinations

All keyloggers have secret key combinations which will bring them from the place they are hiding to the screen. After all, if you can get to the data collected by a keylogger it is pretty much useless.

Default key combinations for keyloggers are:

But, what if whoever was installing the spyware was smart enough to change the default key combination. Then you won’t be able to find keyloggers by a key combination.

Check which applications have Full Disk Access

In order to do their job, most keyloggers must have full access to the disk or accessibility option.

Go to System Preferences -> Security and Privacy, click on the Privacy tab and check two sections: Accessibility and Full Disk Access.

Here how it may look like on your Mac if the app was installed:

How to Detect Malware Keystroke Loggers on Mac?

If you think that your Mac was infected by a keylogger when you’ve been browsing the internet or opened an email then steps above will not help because hackers do not use commercial keyloggers as malware.

You can still try to open the Activity Monitor, go over each process in it and search Google for the process name. This way, you can at least eliminate the good applications from the keyloggers (note, however, a good process can still be infected with a malware which installs a keylogger on Mac).

For instance, if you don’t know what “cloudd” process is on Mac then Google following: cloudd mac

The first response will say something like “This process is part of macOS and is related to iCloud”. So now you can move to the next process in the list.

Another option is to install Malwarebytes, MacScan, Intego Mac Internet Security or another antivirus and antimalware application. Some people suggested ReiKey for keystroke logger detection, but last time I checked the code was not updated for more than 8 months, which means is not being actively maintained.

And finally, the best way to get rid off a malware is remove the macOS and reinstall everything from scratch.

Other resources:

If you still feel that you are being watched then:

Free Keylogger For Mac

buy a webcam cover: recommended webcam covers for MacBooks

check my other article:How to Tell if Someone is Remotely Accessing Your Mac

Best Keylogger For Mac

Topics:

Download Keylogger For Mac

Image Credit: Flikr

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drferox · 6 years

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20 Questions with Dr Ferox #23

Whelp, time for another blast of 20 questions and comments from the inbox. If you were brave enough to use your username I’ve tried to tag you (Thanks Tumblr) but if you were on anon, you’ll have to look yourself.

Would you folks be interested in me answering these sort of short questions in a video instead? Let me know in the replies. Now here we go!

Anonymous said: do u play mobile games on your phone, like animal crossing pocket camp? :O

No, should I? I haven't heard much about it.

@trisaratops45 said: Dr. Ferox, First off I just started following your blog and love it! I'm stuck using mobile so I can't see your faq information. I was just wondering if the clinic you work at sees any exotic or pocket pets? Of so what is your favorite to see and treat? Thank you!

Welcome! We don't see a huge amount of exotics at my clinic, we're not well set up for them, but ferrets are probably my favorites.

Anonymous said: do you follow any medblr blogs? and if you do, are you ever like 'thank goodness i don't have to deal with that' or 'man i wish it was that easy'? question tax: what is your favorite depiction of dragons from fantasy media

I actually had to go check which blogs I was following. No active medblr blogs in the list anyway. I often see real clients, in the flesh, and think 'Im glad i don't have to deal with that', especially when they describe to me their own gross medical problems as though I want to know exactly what's coming out of their orifices. All dragons are good dragons. I don't think i could pick a favorite.

@the-noble-banana said: What style of nail clippers are best for trimming a cat's claws?

Whatever you're comfortable with. I like these ones

Anonymous said: Do dogs get acne? Is that a thing? Just curious! Question tax: if you could shoot something out of your finger, what would it be?

They can get comedones with certain hormonal conditions (black heads) and can get pimple-like lesions with skin infections. I would shoot icy cold water out of my fingers. Great for hot days, and for stupid faces.

Anonymous said: Do you typically bandage and cover amputations? At the vet I worked at (I was only kennel so everything I saw was in passing) every animal who had limb amputation left after a day or two with the incision fully bandaged. My dog had her hind leg amputated and the vet (different one) had her in and out in under three hours and sent her home unbandage. Just out of curiosity is it case by case that you decide to bandage? Gave my mom a little heart attack seeing her all bloody and swollen

We might but a light dressing over them, but in an amputation of anything more than a toe there's often not much to bandage. Limb amputations are typically very high up the limb in dogs and cats and it's hard to bandage something in that position. Also, sometimes dogs eat the dressing.

@crimsonrose95 said: I'm not vet med, but I am into chemistry and physical sciences and the ask talking about chemistry being inconsistent is so weird a thought to me. Biology is way less consistent than chemistry like chemistry is mostly math with elements and compounds while biology is mostly names. It's just really interesting how most people start to think a science they don't like and have trouble in is just the science being completely inconsistent to them. Me included.

I get what you mean. Chemistry has a fairly distinct set of rules, even if they're rules you've not encountered outide of chemistry before. I was never a fan of physics, but it is consistent. Biology likes to bend rules. Life finds a way.

Anonymous said: Why does my cat yell when I try to use the bathroom alone? Question tax: what's your favorite thing about Australia?

Possibly he thinks you need moral support? Or that there's demons in there. My favorite thing about Australia is our universal healthcare system and gun control.

@foxtrottarts said: How common is dewclaw removal in dogs, and what are the benefits/downsides?

Hind dewclaw removal is relatively common at the time of deseing, if they're the sort that flop all over the place and lack a boney attachment. Front dewclaws are usually left, unless removed for a medical reason. I've written about it before here. https://drferox.tumblr.com/search/dewclaw

Anonymous said: Can a dog still have the MDR1 gene if they have never reacted to those drugs in the past (lets says a dog that has regular flea prevention of selemectin)

If the dog has only had a popular flea product containing selamectin but has never had ivermectin, yes they could still have it. MDR1 dogs typically don't react to that product, nor do they react to the annual heartworm injection.

Anonymous said: Hello, I had a question as google only takes me but so far, and the results were iffy at best since it's difficult to locate a vet or someone in a position who would know the answer. How much of a danger is animal or human saliva to pet birds? Some people say kissing the bird, or having another pet such as a dog lick/groom them is an issue, but I'm just lost on if any is true, and would love to find the answer. Thanks a ton in advance since it's all pretty confusing.

It is a potential issue. Carnivore saliva contains many bacterial species that can be devastating to birds or other mammals even through relatively small abrasions. Carnivores should not be permitted to interact with prey species and birds. Cats are especially risky because they're so pointy and because they effectively coat themselves in saliva when grooming. You can find some more information here.

Anonymous said: Hi Dr. Ferox, we recently had to put our cat down due to health issues. We're pretty sure he had FIP as the last week of his life he had every symptom but one. A website we saw said the virus can live in the environment for weeks afterwards and I was wondering if you knew any sort of approximate time. We aren't ready for another cat yet but occasionally foster a kitten and don't want to bring one into the house and have it get sick

I typically reccomnd 4 months, and replacing bedding, litter trays and food dishes. While you are probably fine with 3 months, given the incurable and devestating nature of FIP (Feline Infection Peritonitis) I prefer to err on the side of caution.

@kumoi-no-hikari said: I got a couple rats a few months ago and the lady I bought them from mentioned that most vets don't know much about rats and will probably do more harm than good unless the situation is extreme. Is that true? They haven't had any issues, but I'm worried about traumatizing them or wasting money if they ever have a problem.

Some vets will certainly be better equiped or more interested in treating rats than others, but you'll only know if you call around and ask them. If they're not keen on seeing rats, they might know somebody who is. I think saying 'most vets don't know X' is unfair when you look at the diversity of vets in the world. Call around, plan for the worst ahead of time.

Anonymous said: Do you know how taxidermy works? I plan this route for my cat when she's passes, do I have to contact them before the body stiffens or position her first?

No idea. But I would contact them well in advance incase they have waiting lists or something. But I would think very carefully about whether taxidermy of a pet is something you definitely want.

Anonymous said: Hey there! What’s your favorite brand of stethoscope?

The Littman is what I use and have been very happy with my Classic II.

Anonymous said:Our poodle mix loved grabbing a mouthful of food then running to the living room to eat it - not necessarily to be near us, he just would eat over carpet. Sometimes we'd rearrange the living room so it wasn't a direct shot from the dining room and he'd still run around the furniture to eat there. He also once pooped one piece on each stair when we were gone all day for some unfathomable reason.

There is so much that could be going on there, but since you didn't seem to ask a question I'm not sure what you'd like me to say.

Anonymous said: On the topic if dog eating things they shouldn't. A shitzu swallowed the end of a large chew bone whole and when she puked It up it was about the size of my fist.

Little dogs often seem to overestimate what they can safely eat. Westies seem to be the worst for this though, and are a common breed to see for stuff getting stuck in their oesophagus.

Anonymous said: About people thinking vets are scammers, my family was so bad with this when I was a child. I remember I had a sick kitten, I was around 8, it had some lung issues and I begged and cried to vet it and my dad said "pray really really really hard to God every hour, and maybe he'll bring a miracle!" and the cat died the next day :( I get so LIVID when people refuse taking their pets to vets for stuff that cannot wait. Makes me wanna slap those people senseless!

Your Dad sounds like a lazy asshole and a cheapskate. Even if god existed, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate being dialed up for a miracle like a pizza delivery.

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that i recently adopted an older orange tabby cat (dsh) and he is large. like not just fat (which we are working on), but unusually tall and long. like. maine coon size. he has so far used his size to swipe bacon off a kitchen counter and remain an effective roadblock. he's very calm and sweet, i love my big fat baby.

Congratulations on your new addition! I'm sure your big orange boy loves you back too.

@mise-en--place said: Thought you might appreciate this. We got records on a cat today and on a previous visit they stated; "BCS 5/9. Cat appears to be about 7lbs through the gloves and towel." We got a good laugh, cat was actually quite calm for her visit.

I received a history for my old cat Dippa who had once very badly bitten this other vet that only said "Appears healthy in cage. Vaccinated in cage. Dr Ferox is welcome to come and perform a dental on her own cat any time she likes." I took that to mean "I'm not touching this hellbeast. You deal with her."

#20 questions #dr ferox #veterinarian #vetblr #animal death #death #pet death #taxidermy

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imagestag · 4 years

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700+ Best Instagram Captions & Quotes for Friends Instagram app is without doubt one of the finest social app for all cell phone. It is fascinating that Instagram is among the many prime 5 purposes at the moment on this planet. Today, we are going to search for prime finest Instagram captions and selfie quotes. Instagram is a social sharing app that was began by two individuals, and it was later bought by Facebook for $19billion. It is one of the finest Facebook’s funding. Your selfies on Instagram interpret so many issues, however as an Instagram consumer, you may add superb captions to your photographs and your are not directly telling your pals, or followers all about that individual picture.

What is Instagram Captions?

You might be wondering, what is Instagram captions? It is either a short / long words, emojis, hashtags, and tags written in Instagram’s description or status box. And it helps you as a user to complete your post on the photo sharing app. With the addition of Instagram caption, you can easily complete different tasks and direct customers to your bio link. A user can add a caption to an image to explain and contextualize the subject of the photo. Instagram captions can include hashtags and tags. The definition of a caption is a heading or title, or words on a screen that communicate what is being said. An example of a caption is the title of a magazine article. An example of a caption is a descriptive title under a photograph. With Instagram captions added to your selfies, you are directly pointing your selfies to a definite sight and definition. Your followers will understand and can easily share those alluring selfie quotes, and you can also increase social media engagement. Having knowing all this, lets get started with all Instagram captions for selfies, friends, funny, cool, sassy, best and rare Instagram captions.

11 ways to make a great Instagram captions

As we all know, Instagram captions character limit is 2,200 characters, and they might increase it in few years to come. But to make a great Instagram captions for your pictures, selfies, you will be promoted to show off your brand’s personality, entertain the audience, and/or compel people to take action. In order to get the main and actual Instagram Captions, you must be required to add up simple, and easy to read and follow short words, long words, 30 hashtags, emojis and tags.

Try to be professional

Getting professional and being professional comes from one way, it is from the brain. You know who you are, where you are going for and what you want. You have to present a captivating caption for that particular products, image, selfie or any other important signatories. When we mention about one getting professional, we are not talking about speaking those high standard English word, that will require the help of dictionary to understand the words. But you can attached the best of the best English.

Know who is following you

You are now professional, well to do but do you really understand your followers? do you understand who is following you, do you understand the group of people that interest you? There are ways to find out your audience. Instagram has 1 billions users and still counting, those certain amount of people behind you, are there for a reason. Find out that reason, find that particular Instagram image captions that brings their audience to one piece and invest in that.

Little Sense of Humor is Needed

In opposite, am literally asking you to be an humorist. Having a huge sense of humor starts from yourself, and expanding that to your followers requires an extra sensible skill. Sense of humor is built straight into our body system. Right inside our brain, we have a touch of an humorist, which is different from a comedian. You can’t publish a product and talk extreme professional about that product. Instead, add some funny or witty words, which will definitely make your audience more interesting and confidential.

Understand your brand

If it is about product company, your captions is totally different from celebrities and how they use and engage their audience. Although, a bunch of this is explained in the above article, about being professional. You know what you are advertising, do it much more better and follow the trend, follow the natural phenomenon and how people are going with. Meanwhile, if you are celebrity advertising a product, go straight to the details and add a little funny words.

Don’t add much words

Leave it, kill it, Want it, but this is it. When creating a publication in your Instagram post, or Instagram status, don’t add much words. Your fans, or audience aren’t interesting in reading the whole book of what you are saying. They are only interested in its meaning and the actual message you are passing forward. You are advised to increasingly leave everything behind and focused on the main thing. Short words brings great understanding!

Important words comes first

This might stand as an opposite to ‘do not add too much words’ The people you are sending the message to, might not be really interested in your story. If you are interested in the whole store, just add the important words first. They are not interested in reading the complete bible from you, give them a tip at the beginning of your starting sentence and you will receive over flowing responses. Important words comes first, is like a short briefing, before the main story!

Is it lengthy, try to edit

Your selfie captions, products captions, is important as any other stuff around you. Are you trying to form an interesting caption that will attract the attention of your audience, please edit your words. Probably, you have written blockbusters of words, intriguing vast words of wisdom, that might interest one or two persons in your audience. But it is highly advisable and recommendable to edit and re-edit your captions before going wide. People don’t want to visit an Instagram block or wall, where they always publish wrong sentence, wrong spellings and many more. When typing, our brains think faster than our hands, the impulse that is sent to our hands are slower than our brains.

Hashtags helps a lot

‘Yep, this is the #beardgang’ or ‘We are in the era of #bezel-less Smartphone’ These are the main important of hashtags, they bring you to the limelight. With hashtags, you can learn what other people are saying and join the trend. Thankfully, you can hashtags to your captions but wait, this shouldn’t be too much. It is advisable to add hashtags to your Instagram captions but it should be situated at the last of them all. And you must follow the trending hashtags, don’t publish an Instagram captions concerning Christmas celebration, when it is time for Easter celebration. As we know the popular hashtags, MCM, WCW, throwbackthursday and many others

Questions attracts

Questions brings more audience, increases your chance of becoming the best, increases user’s engagement and brings some famous popularity among your peers. Have anything in mind, ask your audience and watch the replies you will get. Although, you can’t build ROME (followers) with questions, but you can easily do much more better with questions and replies from your audience. Asking intriguing questions or brain storming questions, will quickly boost your Instagram’s presence.

Use the @mention

This is one of the most interesting part, which you must learn. And it is specially made for group of photos captions. If you take a picture with your friend, try to be familiar and sharing by adding their username with @mention With the CTA button, you are either prompting your users or audience to follow that particular user or like their most recent photo captions. You are slowly establishing your horizon on the photo sharing app.

Quotes and Emoji also works

Quotes won’t kill you, and Emojis will work accurately. Add some important quotes to your Instagram selfies or photos. Or probably, add some emojis to your recent publications. Emojis is a little bit more understanding that images, that pictures, than selfies and with emojis, you can bring in that little sense of humor. Try it and watch how your Instagram presence will grow. [caption id="attachment_746" align="alignnone" width="1080"] 700 Best Instagram Captions For Friends, Pictures And Selfie Quotes[/caption]

Instagram captions for Friends

❁ For your true friends, no need to think twice. ❁ Good friends are like stars. ❁ All the best people are crazy ❁ Strangers think I’m quiet, My friends know that I’m completely Insane. ❁ I can send my ugly selfies to my real friends. ❁ I like you because you join in on my weirdness ❁ Disturb your friends all time. ❁ Sometimes, being silly with a friend is the best therapy! ❁ Best Friends we fight, we argue, we got mad at each other. But we have each other until we die. ❁ One friend does not know how to whisper. ❁ Rain or Shine. I will always be here for you. ❁ Coffee and Friends make the perfect blend ❁ In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies. But we remember the silence of our friends. ❁ My best friend is a secret FBI agent, he collects all my secrets and reveal to my parents! ❁ Our friendship knows no distance ❁ The most discovery true friends make is that they can’t grow separately until they grow apart. ❁ It is easy to find a friend, but difficult to find true friend. ❁ Our friendship is..awesome!! ❁ Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest it is who came and never left your side. ❁ Best friends help you to create memories. ❁ I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship! ❁ “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” —Helen Keller ❁ Best Friends make good times better and hard times easier! ❁ I don’t know what I did to have a best friend like you. ❁ Life was meant for Best Friends and Good Adventures! ❁ She is my Best Friend. You break her heart, I will break your face. ❁ Meet my Partner in Crime ❁ It’s me and my Best Friend for Life! ❁ Good Times + Crazy Friends = Great Memories! ❁ Sometimes, being with your bff is all the therapy you need!

Funny Instagram captions for friends

❁ Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life and said, I am here for you and proved it. ❁ Throughout, your life can find a person who never gets bore with your talks. ❁ Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things ❁ Pumpkin spice and everything nice. ❁ Fall so hard motherpumpkins wanna spice me. ❁ The only thing getting ‘lit’ this weekend are my fall scented candles. ❁ At this point, my blood type is pumpkin spice. ❁ I’d like to see you s’more. ❁ An apple a day keeps away anyone if you throw it far enough. ❁ I have never met a pumpkin I didn’t like. ❁ Fall is my excuse for pumpkin everything. ❁ Stressed, blessed, pumpkin obsessed. ❁ UnbeLEAFable. ❁ If you don’t like fall, you can leaf me alone with my pumpkin spice latte. ❁ Autumn leaves and pumpkins, please! ❁ Friendship isn’t about who you know the longest. It’s about who walked into your life and said I’m here for you. ❁ There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you. ❁ Way to have a best friend is to be one. ❁ There’s something about childhood friends that you just can’t replace ❁ Friends are medicine for a wounded heart. ❁ A big hug from a Small person! ❁ People say it is hard to find friends, just because best one is with me. ❁ No man is a failure who has friends ❁ I was thinking of you and feeling fortunate that life brought us together and made “BEST FRIENDS”. ❁ Your vibe attracts your tribe. ❁ It is Priceless to find friends with same mental disorder. ❁ Strangers think I’m quiet, my friends think I’m outgoing, but my best friends know that I’m completely insane. ❁ It’s not how many friends you can count, it’s how many of those you can count on ❁ The great thing about new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul.# ❁ Hope to be your friend until we die, become best ghosts after death. ❁ Best friend? Nah. She’s my sister. ❁ Friends are like flowers, they add color to your life..!! ❁ She is my Best Friend. You break her heart, and I will break your face. ❁ Friends make the world beautiful. Thanks for being mine. ❁ Dear best friend please stay in my life forever. ❁ I don’t know what I did to have a best friend like you. ❁ Girl can survive without a boyfriend, not best friend. ❁ Best friends are hard to find cuz the very best one is already mine

Good Instagram Captions

❁ I never let my best friend do stupid things… alone ❁ Life’s too short and so are we ❁ You’re the Betty to my Veronica (or vice versa) ❁ Always better together xx ❁ We do a thing called what we want ❁ Very pretty and we sure know how to run things ❁ We only roll with goddesses ❁ Victoria’s Secret models, we comin’ for your careers ❁ We don’t see any competition ❁ Real queens fix each other’s crowns ❁ The sunshines of my life ❁ We all scream for ice cream ❁ We create our own sunshine ❁ We shore do love each other ❁ Future’s so bright we need shades ❁ See you on the next wave ❁ These are the days that we live for ❁ High tides & summer vibes ❁ Beach days always ❁ Ocean air, salty hair ❁ Girls just wanna have sun ❁ Suns out, buns out ❁ Stay wavy, baby ❁ Just keep swimming… ❁ We got our pockets full of sunshine ❁ Serving mermaid realness. ❁ Summer nights ‘n’ city lights ❁ Seas the day

Best Instagram Captions

❁ It is what it is, we still slayin’ ❁ Reality called, school’s back, so we hung up ❁ And so the adventure begins… ❁ You CAN sit with us ❁ Bienvenue au paradis (welcome to paradise) ❁ We told you the world was ours ❁ Being so bad, got us feelin’ so good ❁ Friends who slay together, stay together ❁ Too glam to give a damn ❁ Wonderfully made… And I’m not just talking about our outfits 😉 ❁ She been breaking hearts since *year your BFF was born in* 🌹 ✨ ❁ Life’s better when you’re *your BFF’s age* 😇 happy birthday sister ❁ Chin up darling, your tiara’s falling 👑 it’s your *your BFF’s age* birthday xo ❁ Another year down, so many more with you to go. Happy birthday to my other half

Instagram Captions for Selfies

❁ Maybe she’s born with it… ❁ Salty BUT sweet. ❁ Never let anyone treat you like you’re ordinary. ❁ Be yourself, there’s no one better. ❁ Make them stop and stare. ❁ She acts like summer and walks like rain. ❁ Life is better when you’re laughing. ❁ Be more of you, and less of them. ❁ Pizza and you are all I need ❁ To the 🌙 and back ❁ On our worst behavior ❁ Ain’t McDonald’s but you lovin’ it ❁ Let’s wander ❁ We find comfort in the chaos ❁ The bags under our eyes are Gucci ❁ They’re lactose intolerant so we had to cheese on ‘em ❁ It’s not a phase mom, it’s who I am. ❁ Self love is the best love. ❁ As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside. ❁ Be a stiletto in a room full of flats. ❁ Smile big, laugh often. ❁ Some days you just have to create your own sunshine ❁ Being happy never goes out of style. ❁ I woke up like this. ❁ Crazy hair, don’t care. ❁ Morning coffee, because anything else is worthless. ❁ Coffee and confidence. ❁ Fresh out of the shower, no makeup on. ❁ May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.

Selfie Quotes

❁ “Maybe she’s born with it…maybe it’s an Instagram filter.” ❁ “Reality called, so I hung up.” ❁ “When you take a selfie so good, you can’t believe it’s you.” ❁ “But first, let me take a selfie.” ❁ “Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.” ❁ “If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.” ❁ “I need a six month holiday, twice a year.” ❁ “Puts selfie on top of tree because I’m the star.” Food selfie captions: ❁ “There is no we in food.” ❁ “You’re one in a melon.” ❁ “We go together like cupcakes and frosting.” ❁ “You can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.” ❁ “At least my pizza still loves me.” ❁ “Yea, dating is cool. But, have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?” OOTD selfie captions: ❁ “Life isn’t perfect but your outfit can be.” ❁ “I’m nicer when I like my outfit.” ❁ “Glitter is always an option.” ❁ “Caring doesn’t really go with my outfit.” ❁ “People will stare. Make it worth their while.” ❁ “Too glam to give a damn.” ❁ “My fave part of this outfit is the invisible crown.” Inspirational selfie captions: ❁ “They told me I couldn’t. That’s why I did.” ❁ “Live more, worry less.” ❁ “You have to believe the changes you’ve already made.” ❁ “Life is way too short for bad vibes.” ❁ “Don’t dream of it. Train for it.” ❁ “The way you speak to yourself matters the most.” ❁ “Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.”

Good Captions for Selfies

❁ Morning Gram ❁ Mentally on the beach ❁ Some days start better than others ❁ All about the vibe ❁ Only a cupcake searching for a stud biscuit ❁ The wasted years, the wasted youth, the pretty lies and the ugly truth ❁ I am that clumsy person, always loving and never leaving ❁ Dear cupid, next time shoot us both ❁ Mellow vibes and everything nice. ❁ Why so serious? ❁ I woke up like this ❁ Getting my pose on! ❁ Be a more of you, less of them. ❁ Smile a little more, regret a little less. ❁ Clever as a devil, twice as pretty. ❁ Grow through what you go through. ❁ Self love is the best love. ❁ Why you chase when I am the catch. ❁ Escape the ordinary. ❁ Mon tre’sor. ❁ Sunshine on my head. ❁ Let it hurt and then let it go. ❁ Don’t be eye candy, be Soul Food. ❁ Salty BUT Sweet. ❁ Own who you are! ❁ FRI-NALLY! ❁ Choose Yourself ❁ Do ya thing B! ❁ I am Prada. You are NADA ❁ Eyes are never Quiet ❁ Confidence Level: Selfie with no Filter. ❁ Saturdaze! ❁ I always bring my Slay game. ❁ Less Perfection, more Authenticity. ❁ Make them stop and Stare. ❁ Life Happens, Coffee Helps. ❁ Everything’s blurry but the feeling’s real ❁ Life is like photography, we develop from negatives! ❁ Thick thighs, thin patience. ❁ And it’s all fun and games until somebody falls in love ❁ SO young, SO High ❁ Glazed eyes, empty hearts ❁ Love me now cause forevers don’t last ❁ Things I used to trip on, I walk over now ❁ I like it better when my jeans are ripped up ❁ You can’t airbrush personality ❁ A little contour and confidence ❁ If I can’t wear my sneakers, I ain’t goin’ ❁ Flexin’my complexion ❁ Fall in love with being alive ❁ Don’t play hard to get, play hard to forget ❁ I am too full of life, to be half loved ❁ Temptation isn’t sin.

Captions of Pictures of Yourself

I don’t need your approval to be me. Why chase you, when I am the catch! I am who I am, I am what I am, I do what I do and I ain’t never gonna do it any different. I don’t care who likes it and who doesn’t. Take me as I am, or watch me as I go. If I were you, I would adore me. Me? Weird? Bitch Please! I am Limited Edition. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. But when I say Sorry… I mean it! I am not trying to give an image of a fairy-tale, perfect, everything else, I am just being myself. I was both loved and hated for being upfront. But I was just being myself. I like being myself. Maybe just slimmer, with a fewer wrinkles. I take a lot of pride in being myself. I’m comfortable with who I am. Everyone said I could be Anything.. So I became Sexy!

Rare Instagram Captions

❁ Do you sit in a pile of sugar? cause you got a pretty sweet ass! ❁ They say tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight? ❁ Did you swallow magnets? cause you are attractive! ❁ Kiss me if I’m wrong but Dinosaurs still exist? Right? ❁ Nice t-shirt. Can I talk you out of it? ❁ Do you have a name or can I call you Mine? ❁ Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes! ❁ Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back. ❁ Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? ❁ Do you live in a cornfield, coz I’m stalking you. ❁ Never do the same mistake twice, unless he’s hot! ❁ My mind is full of You! ❁ Can I keep You? ❁ Hey You! I love your face! ❁ You don’t cross my mind. You live there! ❁ As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside. ❁ Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material. ❁ Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite. ❁ Smile. It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips. ❁ In a room full of art, I would still stare at you. ❁ Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove. ❁ Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit. ❁ It always seems impossible until it’s done. ❁ Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery. ❁ Be honest. ❁ Invest the now in tomorrow’s dream. ❁ Some Girls want superman but walk past Clark kent every day! ❁ Good things come to those who hustle. ❁ If you want to succeed, you have to let failure be your best friend! ❁ You can’t do epic shit with basic people! ❁ Be self-starter. ❁ If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. ❁ I didn’t come here to lose. ❁ Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.

Instagram Captions Lyrics

❁ I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down. ❁ With your phone out, gotta hit them angles. With your phone out, snappin’ like you Fabo. And you showin’ off, but it’s alright. It’s a short life. ❁ Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream. ❁ Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else. ❁ No scars to your beautiful. We’re stars and we’re beautiful. ❁ When it comes to me I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else. ❁ We ain’t picture perfect but we worth the picture still. ❁ You the best I ever had ❁ Let’s celebrate with a toast and get lost in tonight ❁ Twenty-four-hour champagne diet ❁ Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight ❁ I’m here for a good time not a long time ❁ On my worst behavior ❁ My excuse is that I’m young ❁ You only live once ❁ Worrying about your followers, you need to get your dollars up ❁ I’m up right now and you suck right now ❁ I’m just saying you could do better ❁ Think before you come for the great one ❁ If I die all i know is I’m a legend ❁ Know yourself, know your worth ❁ Every time you see me I look like I hit the lotto twice ❁ Call me the referee because I be so official ❁ Last name ever, first name greatest ❁ Started from the bottom now we’re here ❁ Fresher than a pillow with a mint on it ❁ All we want is hot hot boys boys boys. ❁ So baby raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts of all my wrecked up friends. ❁ Some girls won’t dance to the beat of the track. ❁ Stars in our eyes ‘cuz we’re having a good time. ❁ Put some lipstick on, perfume your neck and slip your high heels on, rinse and curl your hair, loosen your hips and get a dress to wear. ❁ Don’t tell me I’m less than my freedom. ❁ I can’t believe I’m telling you this but I’ve had a couple of drinks and…oh my god! ❁ Write what you want, say what you want ‘bout me, if you’re wondering, know that I’m not sorry. ❁ I don’t wanna be alone forever, but I love gypsy life. ❁ It’s good to live expensively, you know it. ❁ Out in the club and I’m sipping’ that bub and you’re not gonna reach my telephone. ❁ I should’ve left my phone at home ‘cause this is a disaster. ❁ Get your hot rods ready to rumble ‘cause we’re gonna drink until we die.

Cool Instagram Captions

❁ Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings. ❁ You can ask tommy, Hilfiger it out! ❁ You are a tornado with pretty eyes and a heartbeat. ❁ In a room of arts, I would still stare at you. ❁ I am a gold, you can prefer Silver and it’s okay. ❁ Get you a Me, I am LIT. ❁ I am not picky, I just know what I want. ❁ Braless is flawless. ❁ Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane. ❁ If you ran like your mouth, you would be in good shape. ❁ I accept my time, back in cash. ❁ Soul over ego. ❁ I’m fall-ing for you.” ❁ I’m going to go out on a limb and say I be-leaf in you. ❁ After a good summer fling, it’s time to fall in love. ❁ Sweater weather is better together. ❁ Autumn leaves and pumpkins please. ❁ Fall is the perfect time of year to spice things up. ❁ You are unbe-leaf-able. ❁ Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go. ❁ Sweet like pumpkin pie. ❁ You are the pick of the patch. ❁ You’re the apple of my eye. ❁ Happiness is a hot drink on a cold day. ❁ Is it really a pile of leaves if you haven’t jumped in it? ❁ I haven’t tripped, but here I am in the fall. ❁ Channel the flannel. ❁ But my personality is lit. ❁ No guts, no Glory. ❁ Forever is composed of nows. ❁ Let the good times roll! ❁ Stay real or stay away from me. ❁ Accept yourself unless you are a serial killer. ❁ We serve drinks cheaper and colder than your EX.

IG Captions and Quotes

❁ “October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins.” – Rainbow Rowell, Attachments ❁ “If a year was tucked inside a clock, then autumn would be the magic hour.” – Victoria Erickson ❁ “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” – L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables ❁ “Autumn, the year’s last loveliest smile.” – William Cullen Bryant ❁ “There is a subtle magic in the falling of old leaves.” ― Avijeet Das ❁ “We pretended she’d only gotten lost in the colors of fall.” ― Tammy Greenwood, Undressing the Moon ❁ “Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” – Albert Camus ❁ “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald ❁ “Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.” — Lauren DeStefano ❁ A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. ❁ You are my sunshine on a rainy day. ❁ My best friend is the partner in all my secrets. ❁ A friend is a second self ❁ I will always have this piece of my heart that smiles whenever I think about you. ❁ I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light. ❁ Don’t ever think to hurt me a little because my best friend will kill you and make your death looks like an accident! ❁ Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one. ❁ Nothing compares to the stomach ache you get from laughing with your best friends ❁ Girlfriends come and go, like the waves of the ocean but the true friend stays with you forever. ❁ I am lucky to have a friend like you! ❁ Best friends believe you, when you do not believe yourself. ❁ Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes. ❁ If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need ❁ I may not always be there with you, but I will always be there for you. ❁ Side by side or miles apart, real friends are always close to the heart. ❁ Best friends have all the therapy you need. ❁ I don’t even need to ask. I got you! ❁ Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one! ❁ If there ever comes a day when we can’t together keep me in your heart, I will stay there forever. ❁ Things are never quite as scary when you have a best friend. ❁ We are best friends, as we both are weird. ❁ You’re one of those people who make my life better just by being in it ❁ Best Friend: Thank you for standing by my side when times get harder, Thank you for making laugh longer when I didn’t even want to smile. ❁ Everything changes and nothing stays the same, but as we grow up, one thing does remain: I was with you before and will be until the end. Nothing could ever replace my best friend. ❁ When you forget to love you, even then your friend always loves. ❁ Sorry only my best friend is the best. ❁ Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less and smile a lot more ❁ Making memories with you, Is my favorite thing to do. ❁ Best Friend: the one with whom you can be mad for a while because you have important things to tell. ❁ Time to create millions of memories filled with funny jokes with your best friends. ❁ You make me laugh even when I don’t want to smile ❁ I don’t know what’s tighter Our jeans or Our Friendship 🙂 ❁ Life was meant for Best Friends and Good Adventures!

Good Instagram Captions

❁ Strangers know my innocent side of my personality…Best friends know my dirty Insane side of my personality! ❁ Friends make you laugh till your cheeks hurt ❁ Sitting silently beside a friend who is hurting may be the best gift we can give them. ❁ Friendship isn’t a big thing. It’s millions of small things. ❁ My best friend is like a cute egg… I love him although he/she is little crack! ❁ Watch more sunsets than Netflix. ❁ Hey, I just met you, this is crazy. ❁ At least this balloon is attracted to me! ❁ I must destroy you with hugs and kisses ❁ Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it. ❁ I woke up like this. ❁ I decide the vibe. ❁ If we could only turn back time… ❁ Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about. ❁ No one is you. That’s your power! ❁ Got my coffee and donut. ❁ Escape the ordinary. ❁ Sweeter than honey. ❁ Proof that I can do selfies better than you ❁ When your mom lectures you about how you need to lose weight for an hour and you’re like ‘shit I don’t care I have got a skinny mirror to make me look good’! ❁ A friend will always make you Smile, especially when you don’t want to… ❁ Life is like a balloon..If you never let go, you will not know how high can you rise. ❁ Sometimes life can surprise you with a happy coincidence. ❁ You can’t afford my Swag Bitch! #selfie ❁ This is to the Echos of our laughter. The looks That we Share. The never-ending gossips. and the Sudden amazing getaways. This is to our Past And This is to Our Future. This is to our Friendship that will Never Fade. ❁ Life isn’t perfect…But my Hair is! #selfieaddict ❁ Always classy, never trashy, and a little bit sassy. ❁ Be a Warrior, not a Worrier. ❁ Go wild for a while. ❁ Rolling with the homies. ❁ When you are Downie, eat a brownie. ❁ All we have is NOW. ❁ We got that Friday feeling. ❁ Catch flights, not Feelings. ❁ Disappointed but not surprised. ❁ How I feel when there is no Coffee. DEPRESSO! ❁ 50% Savage. 50% Sweetness. ❁ You can’t do epic shit with basic people. ❁ I myself never feel that I’m sexy. If people call me cute, I am happier. ❁ It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. ❁ The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters. ❁ Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. ❁ I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death. ❁ It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. ❁ Love can be unselfish, in the sense of being benevolent and generous, without being selfless. ❁ When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance ❁ Women drivers rev my engine.

Cute Instagram Captions

❁ With You, I forget all my problems. With You, Time Stands Still. ❁ We come to love by not finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. ❁ When I fell for you, I fell Hard ❁ If I ever write a story about my life, don’t be surprised if your name appears billion times. ❁ I want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy with Me. ❁ It will be Always YOU. ❁ If you are Mine, You are Mine. I don’t like Sharing. ❁ Nothing Can replace you! ❁ I love you. That’s all I know. ❁ I’m not perfect but I am Loyal. ❁ What happens under the mistletoe, stays under the mistletoe ❁ Sweater weather is better together ❁ If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard. ❁ Meet me under the mistletoe. ❁ Merry Christmas you filthy animals! ❁ The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. ❁ Do you want to build a snowman? ❁ Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store…maybe Christmas means a little bit more. ❁ First, we’ll make snow angels for two hours, and then we’ll eat a whole roll of Toll House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then, to finish, we’ll snuggle. ❁ I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel. ❁ It’s all humbug, I tell you. Humbug! ❁ We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. ❁ It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! ❁ I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. ❁ All I want for Christmas is you. ❁ We can hardly stand the wait. Please Christmas, don’t be late. ❁ Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Funny Instagram Captions

❁ She was simple like quantum physics ❁ Today I will be as useless as the g in lasagna ❁ Kanye attitude with drake feelings ❁ Hella heart eyes for you ❁ Throw sass around like confetti ❁ Sending my selfie to NASA, because I am a star! ❁ Life isn’t perfect but your outfit can be ❁ Moonwalks out of an awkward situation ❁ All the jingle ladies. ❁ Sleigh my name, sleigh my name. ❁ Sleigh-in it. ❁ Believe in your elf. ❁ Me every day: slay. Me in December: sleigh. ❁ But first, let me take an Selfie. ❁ Dear Santa…I can explain. ❁ All spruced up. ❁ Totally sleighed it. ❁ Tis the season to sparkle.” ❁ The elf did it. ❁ There’s snow place like home. ❁ Tis the season! Let the overeating begin! ❁ Dear Santa, define ‘nice.’ ❁ I’m only a morning person on December 25th. ❁ Dear Santa, is it too late now to say sorry? ❁ I hope Rudolph eats the naughty list. ❁ Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Nevermind, I’ll buy my own stuff. ❁ Friday, my second favorite F word ❁ Life isn’t perfect…But my Hair is! #selfieaddict ❁ I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me. ❁ When I was Rome.. I did what the Romans did. ❁ I got back with my Ex…Box 360 ❁ Lost in the world that doesn’t exist. ❁ Today I will be as useless as letter g in lasagna. ❁ You only drink diet soda? You must be so healthy. ❁ The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. ❁ The moment when she says you’re cute. ❁ If we could only turn back time… ❁ You are my best friend because…you are you, you let me be me, and still we love each other! ❁ No matter how serious life get, You still gotta have that one person who is your friend.

Instagram Caption Family

❁ Family make the good times better and bad times easier. ❁ A good Family knows your strength, and knows your weakness! ❁ I don’t know how to thank you but I’m lucky to have you in my life ❁ If camera lenses are round, Why are the picture square? ❁ Families are like Stars. You don’t always see them but you know they will be with you forever. ❁ I am quiet for the strangers, but insane for my Family. ❁ Families make the good times better and the hard times easier ❁ I will slap you so hard even Google won’t be able to find you. ❁ You and I are more than families. We’re like a really small gang. ❁ I’m truly grateful to have you. ❁ Families isn’t about whom you have known the longest. It’s about who came, and never left your side.

Best Instagram Captions

❁ Life is better when you’re with friends ❁ I still remember the feeling I felt when I first started talking to you. ❁ A sweet friendship refreshes the soul! ❁ True friends show their love in trouble and happiness. ❁ Life goes on, with or without you. ❁ 5’2 my height but my attitude 6’1 ❁ Don’t Study me. You won’t Graduate! ❁ If you’re honestly happy, fuck what people think. ❁ Being pissed off gets old. I’m just at a whole new ‘fuck it’ level. ❁ Her attitude savage but her heart is gold. ❁ Own what’s yours, or else others will try to. ❁ Life goes on, with or without you. ❁ Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, bitch. ❁ You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions. ❁ Forgive, yes. Forget, never. ❁ There’s a hole in my heart where you use to be. ❁ I don’t need any part-time people in my life. ❁ Exhale the bullshit. ❁ I got it from my mama. ❁ Thick thighs and pretty eyes. ❁ Good Times + Crazy Friends = Great Memories! ❁ Life is a lot better when you have someone to share it with ❁ More beautiful then all the stars is the sign in my heart that is my loving friend.# ❁ Friends become our chosen family! ❁ The Valuable thing in life is True Friends. ❁ We will always be friends until we are old and senile. Then we can be new friends. ❁ Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf, and I don’t speak English. ❁ Always better together ❁ A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart. ❁ Friendship is not a big thing, rather than million things. ❁ We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home. ❁ We go together like cupcakes & frosting ❁ To my friend’s Thanks for being there for me. ❁ Don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship! ❁ Trust the one who can see sorrow behind your smile. ❁ Love is beautiful, friendship is better ❁ We go together like coffee & donuts ❁ But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold. ❁ Finding friends with the same mental disorder: priceless! ❁ Friends are the one start discovering the world together. ❁ We go together like drunk and disorderly. ❁ Life is sweet with friends like you!! ❁ Always remember and idiots who make you laugh in his presence will definitely make you cry in his absence, Those idiots are our best friends. ❁ I hope we’re friends until we die. Then, I hope we stay ghost friends so we can walk through walls and scare the crap out of people. ❁ You should not lie to the one trust you; never trust the one who lie you. ❁ You will always be my best friend, you know me too much. ❁ Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite ❁ Best friends are the people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little brighter and live a little better.

Good Captions for Pictures

❁ Treat yourself like a King and you’ll attract your Queen ❁ Don’t judge someone by their mistakes but on how they fix them ❁ If I don’t post a picture, did it even really happen? ❁ You know you’ve made it when your idols become your rivals ❁ They call me ranch ‘cuz I be dressing ❁ One does not simply create a clever Instagram caption ❁ Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the Clarendon filter ❁ If the world was created in 7 days but it took 9 months to make me, I’m clearly a big deal ❁ People will judge everything you do, so you do you ❁ I just rolled my eyes so hard I saw my brain ❁ You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you do for fun

Short Instagram captions

❁ Be the type of person you want to meet ❁ Just two friends having a good time ❁ Guess who I just met? ❁ Best. Day. EVER! ❁ What just happened? ❁ Go BIG or go home ❁ This is GOLD ❁ This is it! ❁ Express gratitude. Regret nothing. ❁ So much to be thankful for ❁ Nothing shines brighter than a heart of gold ❁ Mistakes are proof that you’ve tried ❁ The journey is always the best part ❁ Today’s the best kind of day ❁ Life is only as legendary as you make it ❁ Good vibes only ❁ Livin’ the good life

Sassy Instagram captions

❁ It’s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly. ❁ When you actually matter to a person, they’ll make time for you. No lies, No excuses. ❁ Because she competes with no one, no one can compete with her. ❁ You will never be truly happy if you continuously hold on to the things that make you sad. ❁ Change your thoughts and you’ll change your world. ❁ Never be controlled by three things: Your past, Money, and People. ❁ But without the dark, we’d never see the stars. ❁ She says nothing when she wants to say everything. ❁ You can’t just come into someone’s life, make them special and then leave. ❁ One day you will find the one who makes all the others disappear. ❁ No, I checked my receipt. I didn’t buy any of your bullshit. ❁ Do expect me to get pissed off when you don’t answer!? Who do you think you are!? The delivery guy? ❁ If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you. ❁ I didn’t kill anyone, jealousy did. ❁ If you are testing my water, you better know how to swim. ❁ I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship. ❁ I swear I’m nice girl until you do something that pisses me off.. then the bitch will come out to play. ❁ I want a relationship like “Tom & Jerry” fight daily, still can’t live without each other. ❁ Cry only for cuts and stitches not for bastards and bitches. ❁ My biggest problem? I notice everything. ❁ It’s sad but life is full of sudden good bye’s. ❁ I gave so much to someone who never appreciated it. ❁ I’m a good person. But don’t give me a reason to show you my evil side. ❁ Pay close attention to people who don’t clap when you win. ❁ There are two reasons why we don’t trust people. First, we don’t know them. Second, we know them. ❁ Be careful who you push away. Some of us don’t come back. ❁ Some people are not your friend, they are just scared to be your enemy. ❁ I am who I am, I am what I am, I do what I do and I ain’t never gonna do it any different. I don’t care who likes it and who doesn’t. ❁ The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters. ❁ Take every chance you get in life because some things only happen once. ❁ I myself never feel that I’m sexy. If people call me cute, I am happier. ❁ Women drivers rev my engine ❁ I like foodies ❁ Hey, I just met you, this is crazy ❁ At least this balloon is attracted to me! ❁ I must destroy you with hugs and kisses ❁ Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it. ❁ I woke up like this ❁ If we could only turn back time… ❁ Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about. ❁ Beauty is power, a smile is its sword ❁ My autobiography is this ❁ Last day of class ❁ Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive ❁ Chilling like a gangster. Are you satisfied with the above Instagram captions for your friends, selfie quotes, Instagram quotes and many others? If you are satisfied, please do well to use the below share buttons to your friends, such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. #bestinstagramcaptions #captionsofpicturesofyourself #coolinstagramcaptions #cuteinstagramcaptions #funnyinstagramcaptions #funnyinstagramcaptionsforfriends #goodcaptionsforpictures #goodcaptionsforselfies #goodinstagramcaptions #igcaptionsandquotes #instagramcaptionfamily #instagramcaptionsforfriends #instagramcaptionsforselfies #instagramcaptionslyrics #rareinstagramcaptions #sassyinstagramcaptions #selfiequotescaptions #shortinstagramcaptions

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quinnlocke · 6 years

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Author About Me

tagged by both @mystictrashheap and @foxyena, thanks :)

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

Quinn Locke is my halfling rogue from a D&D campaign I was in with some friends. When I first started publishing fanfic I didn’t want anyone in my real life to find it and only 4 people knew of the character but never remembered her last name so it worked.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

It Was Always You - 237 comments, 4995 hits

Sincerely Yours - 389 kudos, 124 subscriptions, 73 bookmarks

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

A picture of Bokuto and Akaashi from the mange edited to look like they are conspiring together. I chose it cause I love Bokuaka and I seem to write them more than anyone else.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I have quite a few regulars and I very much look forward to their comments. I have one who leaves me paragraph long reviews and I honestly tear up a little every time.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Hehehehehe, you do not want to see the hit count for a few fics. I have about 3 or 4 that I always go back to for a quick read to make me smile.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

142 bookmarks and I am subscribed to 6 authors

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

It varies, though I seem to always end up falling into the University setting

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

50 user subscriptions (are you kidding me???) and 408 bookmarks. You mean to tell me 50 people get an email that I posted something???

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

There are some pairings I would love to write but worry no one will like, or even worse tell me that its the wrong ship and to ship this instead.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Building a proper world and managing to follow that worlds rules. I’d also like to finally figure out how to break up sentence structure and maybe stop using the term “felt like”

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Popular ships with a couple minor rare pairs thrown into the background

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

For my own well being I will not even look.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

both depending on if I feel I absolutely must write it immediately

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yes and let’s not talk about it thank you very much

16. How did you discover AO3?

Deviant art had some fanfic attached to pictures and then I googled fanfiction for dragon age and lo and behold there it was

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

hardly

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

most people seem to call me quinn, i do not have a name for my readers en masse, i do have nicknames for the people i interact with the most

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

loquaciousquark and rannadylin were the first authors whose work had me hooked in the dragon age fandom. silvercistern is the author who ensured I was trapped in haikyuu forever, if only for the magic of bokuaka. To be honest I am inspired by anyone who wants to write and has a story to tell.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Write for you first. If you want to see your two favorite characters meet in a coffee shop and bond over a love of the same book, the write it. If you want to write the au based on that obscure TV show from your childhood, do it. Write what makes you happy first.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Both honestly. I have outlines for long fics and then there are times I just pull a story out of nowhere and go... well here it is.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Yes, I deleted it and chose to ignore a message sent to me by the person who commented. They criticized my work, then asked to use whatever prompt I had gotten to write my story. The best part was there was no prompt. I came up with the idea on my own. Now, I usually just ignore rude comments and try not to let them bother me. I don’t get many.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

smut will be the death of me

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Sincerely Yours, Faded Trees (a tensemi fantasy au), Giving In (long fic planned for the bsd bb), Date Me...For Science! (fake dating au) and a host of other small projects

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I am always plotting something even if I never end up writing it

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

I don’t even have a goal on the days I do write

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Good god I hope so!

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Flowers and Feathers, I wrote it in a day and I can’t help but smile when I see it gets kudos

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

Tale of the Champion(s Heart), because I will never finish it, and it was my first fanfic ever so its full of mistakes and tired tropes. For Haikyuu it would be Six Minutes to Say Goodbye. It was my first Haikyuu fic and it was my first fic after a 4 month long writers block.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Probably writing for new fandoms, or at the very least having more fandoms to write for. I doubt I will ever stop writing

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

When you actually hit that groove where all your ideas come together and the words just fucking flow

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Fucking summaries can go to hell

33. Why do you write?

Because I have stories to share

tagging @talkativelock, @therealmnemo, @rannadylin, and anyone else who wants to get their hands on this

#tag memes #god this was long #i'm exhausted

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onceandfuturekiki · 7 years

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I've received a number of questions over the past few weeks about how to use statcounter, how to figure out various things, etc. So I figured one big post would be a good idea.

I'm sure there are people who are far better at using statcounter than I am, so any added advice would be appreciated.

To start with, if you message me under off of anon I will consider giving you various ips to look out for, and in the few instances that I have them, the usernames that I know are attached. That alone should help you to identify various behavior.

A good way to make note of suspicious ips is to match them up to anon hate. If someone visits your ask box to send you a message, it will be logged on your statcounter, telling you they went to that page. So you can look at the time on the message and match it to the ip that was on that page around the same time.

Statcounter has that handy "label ip address" function so if you spot something suspicious you can mark it and then you'll be able to see every time that ip visits your blog so you don't have to try to memorize the ips that are suspicious. This also is useful so you can label the ips of the users you know for certain.

I've received a few questions about how to tell if someone is posting links to your blog without actually having to go to that blog. One way to do this is to look at the referring link. If they post a link to your page on their page and people click that link to visit your posts, the referring link will be their blog. If it's a blog of someone you know to be a stalker or a bully, this is a good way to make note of suspicious ips because the people who visit from that link are likely to not be the kind of people you want browsing through your stuff.

A less reliable way to make note of these people is when you see the referring link is just tumblr.com (or some variation thereof, sometimes there's a -dot- elsewhere in the address). This usually means that someone has clicked a link to your blog on their dash. It's less reliable because it doesn't necessarily mean the link they're clicking was posted by a stalker or a bully, but often times it does.

Sometimes people are smarter and they don't click the link, so it doesn't show up as a referring link. But if you notice an ip that you're SURE is suspicious has been on a specific post, or even just on your blog, and all of a sudden you're getting an influx of visits to one specific post in its wake, that's a decent indication, too.

People will often try to get tricksy with their ips. Some people use various methods to change their ip constantly. Others will visit your blog from different locations. They might visit from home, and then work, and then their phone, and then maybe other places. So the ip address will be different but the locations will often be the same or they will be cities that are close to each other.

But the ip-changing and whatnot often means that you need to make note of various browsing behavior. How much time is spent on your blog, what time (or times) of day they visit, what kinds of posts they click on and how long they spend on those posts, what the referring links might be.

If you're looking at an ip and you're not sure if it's hinky or not, a good way to get a better sense is to check if there's a referring ip. If the referring ip is another blog that you know they stalk, especially if it's a blog that you interact with and have recently reblogged a post from or sent an ask to, it's a pretty good indication of who the ip might belong to or, at the very least, that the ip is suspicious (seriously, you'd be amazed at how often this happens. The amount of time these people spend going from blog to blog to blog is ridiculous).

Sometimes people will see that someone has been going through pages and pages and pages of their blog and automatically assume that it's someone suspicious. But this isn't always the case. Sometimes when people discover your blog and they like what they see they want to go through your posts to see more. But it's definitely a good indication if there are other things that seem hinky. If there are things you're already suspicious about. If you're looking at the location, or other browsing patterns and think "hmm" and then you see them doing this, it's a good indication.

Generally, if anything gives you pause and makes you suspicious, it's not a bad idea to label it, even if it's just with a question mark, so that you can keep track of it and note any future suspicious behavior.

Every stalker has their own behaviors and patterns when they look at your blog and you'll be able to notice them and figure it out the longer you use statcounter. And the people who are just looking at your blog because they like you and like what you have to say... well, they're not usually going to do anything suspicious, any thing to make note of, so they shouldn't need to worry.

I hope this makes sense. It's all off the top of my head so it might be rambly. If you have any other questions, just ask. And if you have anything to add, please do.

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utopia-p2p-ecosystem · 5 years

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Utopia — Revolutionary Decentralized P2P Ecosystem

Introduction :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvF4LN7FdQs

Email with Digital Utopian Claims

We spent more than five years secretly working on its development. At the moment, it is at a beta stage and we are ready to introduce it to the community. With your help, we would like to invite as many beta testers and specialists in this sphere as possible to take part in the testing of our product. You can also help us to inform the community about the launch of our beta testing and to tell people about our unique solution.30MilesNorth PR Firm further outsourced their campaign to another marketing firm while ‘CryptoHill.io’ didn’t even bother to get back to me when I replied to the email. Not a good start.

Update: CryptoHill contacted and outsourced 30MileNorth and not the other way.

Utopia — Anti 1984 Ecosystem

JOIN UTOPIA

Register yourself as a Beta Tester, Contributor or a Promoter. Each category gets to enjoy the ecosystem while the rewards vary (reward system will be explained shortly).

Lets Explore Utopia and all the features in detail. please note as this is a beta application many of the features might change in future or some even get removed.

Utopia Encryption

Installing Utopia

Download Utopia software

Install the program by following simple instructions on installation wizard

Run Utopia and Create your account. You will be provided with Public Key and Hardware ID. Those are needed to activate your Utopia software

Click on JOIN BETA

Agree to the Rules and click SUBMIT

Click on NEW ACTIVATION and Enter Public Key and Hardware ID

Click ADD

Now your Utopia is activated and you are ready to test it

Find me in #Hackology Channel

Utopia Dashboard

uMail (Utopia Mail)

uWallet (Utopia Wallet)

All of this while you remain anonymous. All payments are instant and cannot be reversed. Decentralized nature of Utopia ensures that your balance cannot be expropriated.

Utopia Mining — Crypton

uNS (Utopia Naming System)

uNS registered name should be unique. You may register as many uNS registered names as you want while registration is not free and costs are paid in crypton:

Single letter uNS costs 1000 CRP

Two letter uNS costs 500 CRP

Three letter uNS costs 5 CRP

Four letter or more costs 0.1 CRP

Miscellaneous Features

File Manager : All files which are sent or received in Utopia can be accessed from the builtin file manager which also includes an image viewer. As of now the file transfers are limited to 100MB.

Voice Notes : Utopia also supports sending and receiving of Voice messages which you can send to those who are added with you.

Game : Utopia also supports in-app games which can be played in multiplayer, as of writing there is a working Chess game.

Utopia Reward System

At the time of writing I have already cashed out $560 and transferred them to my own bitcoin wallet. I can vouch that if you have the eye to spot bugs it is a good place to help them and in return get paid. Uptil now Utopia team has paid out $3583 to beta testers which is a decent figure keeping in view that they launched 7 days back and still 3 months of beta testing period is left.

Do Earn but DONT SPAM they have mentioned categorically that have zero spam tolerance

Who Owns Utopia

Creators of Utopia plan to stay anonymous as they have stated in the help documents

Utopia has been developed by a group of networking technology enthusiasts over the last 5 years. To eliminate any impact on the project, developers of Utopia will forever remain anonymous. We will not be able to alter the algorithms of the ecosystem once it has been launched.It is currently not known how they will not be able to alter the algorithms once the platform moves out of Beta, that we will know once it is launched

There is limited we know right now about Utopia team. We know that u.is is the domain and they are hosting it on 1984.iswhile *.is is TLD for Iceland. Web hosting company 1984 and Utopia both launched almost together therefore it can be said that the web hosting company was made solely for the purpose of hosting Utopia website project. Some details from Whois of u.is domain shows that the domain was registered back in 2010, which might give credibility to their claims of 5–6 years of development. On the other hand u.is domain was also offering hosting services at one pointwhere one can see mentions of a ‘Umbra System‘. I will leave all this for someone else to do research on as the point is not to find out who wants to stay hidden. But to point out that for how long one can stay hidden ?

Domain : u.is ( 190.115.19.82 ) Registrant name 1984 GROUP LP Address 18/2 Royston Mains Street City/Municipality Edinbourg Postal code EH51LB Country GB Registered 28. July 2010 Expires 28. July 2024 Last change 24. June 2019

Whois information of the Webhosting domain 1984.is :

Domain 1984.is Registrant name 1984 ehf. Address P.O. Box 126 City/Municipality Reykjavík Postal code 121 Country IS Phone +354 546 1984 Registered 15. May 2006 Expires 15. May 2022 Last change 5. November 2018

1984hosting.com is also a mirror of 1984.is thus is linked with the 1984 Group LP.

No one knows ‘for now’ who is behind the project Utopia and the intentions to hide the identities might seem like a good idea aswell. It would allow creators to work without any pressure or involvement in their project and they can keep it safe and secure for everyone.

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