Hiya! ◡‿◡✿
We already are 1k of flowers! For the followers, thank you so much for being part of my garden. You all are my flowers, one different from the other. Each one has an essence. I love you.
But if you’re just passing through here like a butterfly, welcome!
Lots of love, C. xx
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i.
their interest in each other is stuttering;
it's a slow growth. it's a plant, unwatered,
half dead, growing badly in a dark cupboard.
but growing.
ii.
he's not there when erik visits. call it luck or
call it disappointing.
there's guilt and a sense of comfort (a strange
and so far unidentified feeling to erik) in the
fact he knows how easily jakob's front door
falls open with no keys and the right leverage.
how many times has he been here unaccompanied?
twice? three times? four, if you count getting caught
by a girl curled in one of jakob's chairs like a tamed
guard dog? maybe five.
he doesn't do a routine at the door; doesn't put down
his bag, doesn't take off his shoes. his entrance is
almost medical, almost archeological; entering a
preserved tomb for inspection.
why he escapes to here, he doesn't know.
he stands in front of the old cooker for too long.
he rolls his sleeves up, as jakob does. he turns the
tap on with a slower hand, with a heavier touch than
his usual. it creaks before spitting water. he collects
the water in his palm, the smell of it metallic, and
practises cradling it as jakob would.
he flicks it off, shakes his sleeves down. the tiny kitchen
window looks out onto another apartment block, the
view all brick and concrete. no curious eyes witnessed
his strange acting, but he still retreats from it quickly.
he looks in the cupboards. he has little tenderness for
things, for inanimate objects, but he touches the cans
on the shelf anyway. three of them are past their sell-by.
he turns over a half empty bag of brown sugar in his
hands and skims the back of it. the ingredients are
written in polish jakob barely speaks.
he leaves the apartment as it is, door propped open,
and likes that it remains disturbed by his presence.
it's a slow wander to the polski corner shop at the
end of the road. the street, overcrowded, is a
bastardisation of more cultures than he can name.
he doesn't touch anything in the shop, he doesn't buy
anything. he goes from aisle to aisle, not knowing what
he's looking for. the women behind the counter don't
acknowledge him as he leaves empty handed, two old
sisters laughing in croaky polish and filling the liqueur
cabinet behind the till with minty cigarette smoke.
he makes his way back to find jakob pulling his bike up
the front stairs. the urge to leave before he's seen
passes.
iii.
"you've looked at her shoes four times in the last two
minutes. do you want to talk about it?"
jakob's voice is impatient. not unkind. he doesn't let
the question break his stride with his spaghetti.
(does raven, at the mansion, even realise she's
missing them? or, here, are they not missing?)
erik wonders if jakob leans over the table for everyone;
whether his elbows either side of the plate and his
hands gesturing well into the middle of the table are
an imposing overfamiliarity everyone is subjected to.
"we don't have to talk about it."
they speak in german, a kindness only offered recently,
for the english jakob forgets chunks of on late nights like
this.
"but you want to."
his fork scrapes against the plate.
"she's a good friend."
"is this a warning?"
"i'll get there."
"why do you think you have to?"
erik chews and finishes his mouthful, staring at the door.
"because i think you have nothing to lose from this."
jakob's eyes are dark and flat, staring at him, before
they flicker back to his plate.
i think you thought 'why not?'. i think you haven't
been responsible for anyone but yourself in a long
time.
(is there something familiar about that, boytchik?
is the warning visceral?)
v.
erik's visits are unarranged, are invasive, are characterised
by him talking in a distracted way, looking around the
apartment with wandering eyes. jakob's visit is planned
between them. scheduled. he arrives on time, out of
breath from the bike ride.
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wнy do yoυ reмαιɴ? ιѕ eтerɴαl reѕт ɴoт preғerαвle тo eхιѕтeɴce αмoɴɢ ѕυcн pαтнeтιc rαceѕ?
❅—”Can you hear them? It was not a question warranting a simple answer, and neither was the inquirer. But long had the San’layn contended with this dilemma. His words were carefully laced together, the immensity of emotion they deserved, mitigated by the stillness of an undead spirit. ❝You know much of this story- for we share much of its history. But I once lived in a manner more lavish and more replete with decadence than any mortal king this Age can claim. As a youth, I watched the seas swallow that place in a fury of contempt and destruction. I knew no home. I was then herded into a civilization that reviled me, to my very spirit. And I knew no home.
Then, an elf named Dath’Remar Sunstrider spoke of a place, of a kingdom, that would embrace my gifts, be borne of them. And I gladly accepted exile in exchange for the offer to live within this vision. And it was a vision; resplendence from edge to edge. It was like living within an embrace.
It was not a replica of my former Quel’dorei civilization that I found within Quel’Thalas; it was not even a replacement. But gazing upon the majesty of the Eternal Land, I had found home. You see, for me, home comes with kin, it arrives bearing purpose. The petty races that surround me exist in nigh irrelevancy.
I offered Quel’Thalas my undying dedication long ago, as a High Elf youngling, and I suppose she yet holds me to it, for I have not found sleep despite the wars and in spite of the ferocity of her enemies. The ties I have that bind me to others is tenuous. But by the time I was lich-touched, my love of my kingdom and her people had seeped far deeper than the curse of undeath could reach. My selfish will is endless. I will persist for as long as Quel’Thas has need of a ruinous protector.”
—The restless dead weep for at last, to sleep.”
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"We're a good group of players. We'll do our best to have a good season and get back our place in Europe. We can only learn from games like today's. The way we played during the second half is the one we must build upon. I feel very happy, very comfortable here. I feel like I'm adapting nicely and I'm really grateful for how helpful everyone at the club has been so far: my teammates, the manager, the staff. It's up to me now, I must work hard to be able to give it back to them with goals and good performances, so at the end of the season we can all say it was worth it." - Fernando Torres (x)
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