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#((Maybe I was just isolated from the world or something. 😭))
paraesthetics · 12 days ago
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got to finally watch the docuseries like I wanted, didn’t get home until 6:30 this morning so I went right to bed. Now that I’ve been up for a few hours I’m 🤔🤔🤔
just general discussion of serial killer things under the cut
Firstly, the only reason I have other sk paras in Mem Am is for worldbuilding purposes. They were to be name dropped in the docuseries, then I thought to make it feel more authentic, they could be Easter egged throughout the story (Massey’s arrest being broadcasted over the car radio, Samson’s arrest on newspaper/magazine headlines in the background, news coverage of Buni’s trial plays on televisions in the display window of an electronics store, etc)
And I knew there would be elements from these other crimes that... Horrance would find noteworthy, ig? (Like TB’s crime spree in Fl, that’s basically the level Horrance is operating at from Day 1) but after watching the docuseries last night, it’s got me actually seriously thinking about what these other crimes mean to Horrance, the headspace Horrance is in after he’s committed his first murder, where he’s at emotionally after enduring so much pain and abuse and trauma, how he’s at this breaking point and he doesn’t want to just tip the scales in his favor, he wants to overturn the entire god damn table. He’s got all these... thoughts and feelings and emotions about his first murder, and he’s not sure like... how to navigate all that. And regardless what I end up doing with Samson, whether he was part of a cult or is neurodivergent or some mix of the two, the letters that were left behind at his crime scenes resonate with Horrance.
(Oof this may have an impact on his dynamic w Hartley 😭😭😭) I think I’ve touched on this before already but, at this current point in his life, Horrance is always hiding some massive part of himself: his mother’s death, his father’s abuse, PJ’s abuse. When he meets Audrei and Breighton, they bond over religious trauma, being outcasts, and homeless drug addicts. But Audrei and Breighton don’t know Horrance witnesses his mother’s suicide or that he’s a CSA victim, or that he’s already started hurting people before he left Texas. And then he looses them, and he losses Laurel. And he’s just full of so much hurt, and anger at a world that he feels has turned its back on him. And then he kills a woman, and... his world changes. And he’s not sure how to navigate all this. Then there he is, at nineteen, reading about other killers, reading about the Samson case, reading the letters, reading about parental abuse and neglect, reading about that pain and anger towards a world that turns its back on you, about wanting revenge, not against a single person, but society as a whole. And it just... fits for Horrance.
And now I’ve hurt myself thinking of the implication that Horrance is just so... isolated and alone and starved in a sense, for some kind of connection, of sense of belonging but HES been hurt by other humans too many times so the only connection he can make is with this..... concept, this movement. The ideology of serial killers that were operating nearly ten years prior. Just so won’t have to feel so alone, so he can have some sense of identity, of purpose.
I don’t even know what this means for Horrance in terms of Hartley, who sees the worst of Horrance and not only accepts but emulates him, just like he did with other killers... I think maybe it just deepens what’s already there, he seems himself reflected in her and hates that, hates seeing himself like that, he’s terrified that someone does see the worst in him and accept him anyways (rejection, hate and abuse are easier for him to deal with, it’s what he knows. He spends the six weeks theyre together constantly waiting for her to do something to him, the only way he knows to justify to himself when she doesn’t is that “she would if she knew the truth”. )
Secondly, got some info about how Kimrey’s interviews could actually work :D which I need to be working on 👀😔
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