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#((Things are really going full circle rn.))
untouchabyeolman · 18 days ago
#finished my thesis#finished my final#had my virtual ''ceremony'' earlier today#and now all i gotta do is wait for my degree to be processed#bc of everything that's happening rn it doesnt really feel much different??#i'm still sad about not being able to walk bc i think my parents would have loved to see that#but even tho it was only on zoom and it wasnt anything formal my mom still recorded the whole thing#tbh i've felt weird about only being able to graduate now even tho there were students in my classes my age or older#but i think that was just me being hard on myself which i can't really help...#but the undergrad who gave a speech graduated hs in 2007 which was earlier than mine#but hearing her speech really comforted me bc i've felt like a failure all this time that i've been going in and out of school#floating around not really knowing what to do#and i mean i still dont know what to do but i finally did it!#there was a point where i thought i wouldnt even be able to reach this goal but here i am#my first year of college i actually did think about majoring in math but went nAAAHHHH I DONT WANNA BE A TEACHER#and i still dont want to be a teacher but i am...soon going to have my B.S. in applied math#like it all just came full circle it's kind of funny to me#anyway i'm blabbing but i'm just so soooo relieved to be finished#i dont have to worry about hw and exams FORREAL THIS TIME#/pls dont ask me about jobs/future plans i am basking in this glory of no longer having any type of academic responsibility thank u aksjdkas#personal
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bryn-nae-nae · a month ago
((After I finished drawing Kireina in her school outfit I couldn't stop myself, and now i'm making handmade sprites so I can make a side blog dedicated to her.))
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vulcannic · 12 months ago
hmm feeling very discouraged about my art and what i can do with it and whether its even worth it to try to make a living out of it eventually
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louinlavender · 5 days ago
twenty questions
tagged by @are-you-quite-finished-giovanna thank you babe!! 🥰
1. why did you choose your url?
simply put i adore louis and i like purple and it just rolled off the tongue lol, but i also had a list of possible urls i also liked and i had to snatch this one up while i could!
2. any side blogs?
yes i have four....i'm not one of those 'everything goes on main and you can deal with it' type people.... but i have an inspiration blog @prickelndauge (art insp, lots of fashion, cool photography), an art-only blog @swmpwxtch, one just for spooky/creepy content because i'm really into horror manga and scary movies and that kind of stuff but i keep it off of main because i know a lot of it can often be triggering to others! (i also don't post much there but @bonepickng) and one for art references, life tips, random resources, and more donation sharing @am-ref!
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
soooo long i thought i'd be gone by now tbh. i know i signed up in 2011 after just browsing the site through random blogs and tags for ages, but i didn't start actively using my own account until early 2012!
4. do you have a queue tag?
when i actually remember to tag things i have queued i'll use 'i'm sleep queue' because all my early morning posts everyday are queued....i am an insomniac rip
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
keeping up with my interests better! i was like 15/16 at the time so it made sense. back in Ye Olde Days much like now—i really have come full circle lmao—it was mostly just for 1d and then some random tv shows/franchises i just to see content of semi-often, as well as finding cool art!
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
rn it's just a regular pic of louis! as much as i like using my collages or little edits as my icons, you can't see much of anything and it looks too busy sometimes (but also the photo i have rn....i am always thinking thoughts about it soooo)
7. why did you choose your header?
it's pretty! i wanted everything to follow a color scheme + i love embroidery and fancy gowns!
8. what's your post with the most notes?
ok i thought it was gonna be one of my old larry chibi doodles because i know a few of them hit 1k+ notes, but i deleted those in 2017 and apparently now it's this 6 year old like....funky photo study i did of dan howell from 2015 when i still watched him and amazingphil a lot?? i mean at least it's something i was once proud of lmao....there's a few art posts i have with semi decent notes that i pretend i Do Not See
9. how many mutuals do you have?
i think rn 40 something so not very many, although i unfollowed a lot of people i was moots with when i left my last fanbase so that's probably why 😬 i've been meaning to check out more HL/ot5 people though!! i love mutual interaction but i'm afraid of being annoying if i'm any degree of attentive
10. how many followers do you have?
overall i have almost 2.4k rn, but there's a decent amount that are totally inactive or at least don't interact with me so it feels like....a lot less lmao but since re-joining 1d i've already made up like all the people i lost when i left my other fanbase of almost three and more so thank you for actually liking my work and maybe me as well 🥺💗
11. how many ppl do you follow?
around 370 rn!
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is a shitpost fdngjkdf like my tags are bad enough lmao, no one needs to properly share the bs i have to say
13. how often do you use tumblr?
pretty regularly rn but there are times i'll go completely MIA depending on what i'm into/how busy i am!
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog?
in the past i have had some....issues with other people i've met on here but never directly had confrontation with them? most of the time that's happened i figure it's been one-sided though because i can get irritated with certain behavior really quickly—like i always say my heart is big and open but my bullshit tolerance is dangerously low—but when that's the case i'll just unfollow or block without saying anything?
although back in the day there was one instance (and seriously if anyone remembers this you deserve a medal because this shit was Ridiculous) where i kinda but not really called out another 1d fanartist who posted untagged noncon fanart they'd done of at least two of the boys, and then acted like it was no big deal (like. 1. those are irl people my dude and 2. untagged noncon art?? in front of my salad??) and their friends kept defending them for it and tried to come for me claiming i was a proponent of Purity Culture when i'm not and literally all i said in my post on it was that in my own opinion it was kinda fucked up to draw noncon art of real life people—not characters played by actors! but actual real people as themselves—in the first place, but if you felt the need to post highly triggering content like that the least you could do was tag it accordingly
but i think that was the last time properly so i guess times within this fanbase are still chaotic as ever just in a different way?
15. how do you feel about "you need to rb this" posts?
Annoyed™️ like don't guilt trip me over a post lmao i do what i want !!
16. do you like tag games?
YES i love to talk about myself after years of trying not to show any personality online out of fear of judgement dfjkngdf
17. do you like ask games?
yes! i want to do them more but i'm always afraid of reblogging one and then getting nothing and looking like a Fool :'(
18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?
i guess i have a few moots that are kinda well-known or at least get good interaction within the community we're a part of? also isn't that phrase kind of an oxymoron at this point adfjkdf
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
not past platonic friendly affection lmao but honestly what is it like to have a realistic crush on an actual tangible person versus someone in the public eye who doesn't even know i's been so long and i am so lonely please send help
20. tags?
@niallnailme @bolitodequeso @milkcurls @exzouis @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @got-my-devotion @aliensyndrome uhhh anyone who'd like to please consider yourself tagged by me! literally if there was an 'all my moots' button i'd just pick that lmao and as always no pressure/sorry if you've already done this and i haven't seen!
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Let’s talk about the Vaincre trade:
(As I am writing this, only the first full chapter, July, has been published)
I’ve said before that I’m fairly certain it’s going to be Leo, but I want to walk through the thought process that got me there (this is long and unedited. You’ve been warned).
First, since this is going to be such a major plot point, I think it’s going to be a character who’s inner circle had at least a minor spotlight in the first chapter. These were Coops, O’knutzy, O’darwin, Thomas & Noelle (do they have a ship name???), Regulus (tho he’s obviously disqualified for not being a pro player rn), and Cole (with a bit of Dumo).
Additionally, I think a key component of this plotline will be developing characters so that they can stand on their own once separated from a crucial relationship (thematically, it makes the most sense to me).
With that in mind, let’s do some quick (yeah lol prob not quick) disqualifications from the list:
Remus: I know this is a more common theory (and god would it hurt) but Remus’ storyline is already jampacked with living up to the standards of the league, team, and public, as well as adjust to a new relationship dynamic with Sirius. On a more heavy note, Remus will have to navigate how playing hockey will interact with the trauma of Greyback’s attack and the resulting injury. I’m sure most of us inferred that this would be a plot point, but the idea was solidified in a snippet of Remus and the team discussing predictions for the top teams of the season.
Sirius: while narratively, I actually think it would be fascinating to see the lions learn to be a team without their leader and to see Sirius have to learn that there are other parts of the world he can trust, this one falls apart in both logistics and clues Hazel has already given us. Truly, I cannot imagine a trade in which it would make sense for the Lions to give up their beloved, talented, effective captain and first line center, especially after he just led them to Stanley Cup. And when someone asked Hazel about (I believe) what relationships would be highlighted in Vaincre, Coops made the list with the qualification that their storyline would largely center around Remus’s adjustment to the team. A Sirius trade requires long-distance Coops angst which, while possible, would be both difficult and against the spirit of the statement.
O’Darwin and Thomas & Noelle already have long-distance angst happening in July, so trading either Kasey or Thomas would miss some of the emotional punch we know Hazel is going to give us.
Cole: I mean, the kid’s a rookie. It doesn’t really make sense. Threads seem to be being set up with the Dumais’ baby sitter and maybe one of the new PTs? (I don’t remember exactly where I’m getting this from, but I’m near certain it was from Hazel’s tumblr). It seems like physical encounters are going to be a big thing with both of these relationships, plus all the obvious great storylines of a new rookie getting comfortable in the team, make it unlikely Cole will be the trade. Not to mention, there are no guts to punch with Cole. We love him already, but he isn’t close with anyone on the team yet. We’d feel disappointed, not devastated, if he got traded. We all know Hazel’s going for devastation.
Dumo: this one approaches probability for me. Dumo would be heartbreaking for every member of the team, but especially Sirius and Logan. It would also sort of follow through on a previous idea from a rough draft of SW where Dumo has a career-ending injury. All the players would have to learn to navigate life without a father figure, and it would break down the system of where many Lions rookies live. But this one’s all speculation, at least as far as I know. It’s not hinted at in July, and I can’t think of any snippets that suggest Dumo. Plus, it feels like all of the main POVs have been set up in July, and we know from the dreaded “of being a lion” snippet (in which said player gets called about the trade) that we do get POV chapters from the player who’s traded.
We’ll get back to O’knutzy later. First, some people who aren’t on the list that I feel are worth discussing briefly (tho these are unlikely for the reasons at the end of Dumo’s):
Kuny & Nado: Now, I remember Kuny’s “no trades, no trades” thing from Hazel’s tumblr. It hurts. It feels like foreshadowing. But, remember, Hazel has also said that these boys will both play a more secondary role in Vaincre. They’re both safe.
James: I go back and forth on this one all the time. Thematically, separating Sirius and James would be both heartbreaking and deeply interesting. James was a major force in bringing Sirius out of his shell, and Sirius would have to learn to maintain that without his best friend always by his side. James and Lily are also suspiciously absent from July. I know Hazel said they’re on their honeymoon, and I’m not disputing that in any way, shape, or form. However, it does provide ample excuse to become a new POV in August. However, I can’t find any snippets to really support it. And, just, in general, James as a character in Hazel’s fics (or at least in Solntse and SW) provides a stable backbone for the other characters. He’a developed as a character but stable and happy. This could be the thing that changes that, but, at the very least, it doesn’t fit the narrative role he serves in SW, and I think it would change the feel and character dynamic of the fic as a whole (not just of the team) too much for that to be the choice.
And then there’s O’knutzy:
Going into Vaincre, I asked myself: what are everyone’s plotlines going to be? Remus will adjust to the team and playing Greyback. Sirius will largely be his support system, tho some stuff may be done with his relationship with Regulus and/or moving on from any semblance of his parents’ influence. Dumo will welcome rookie Cole onto the team. James will be a new father. Thomas and Noelle will have long-distance relationship feels. Kasey will adjust to O’darwin, and probably also deal with his reoccurring injury.
And the cubs? Are in a happy, stable relationship with everything they’ve ever wanted. The seeds to a storyline regarding whether or not they choose to come out was definitely hinted at in July, but I don’t think it will be their sole focus. Thankfully, there is nothing pressuring them to come out currently. They think about it. They long to do it. But nothing has changed since the end of SW/CtC. If one of them was long-distance, that would change the dynamic. When you can always go home to your two loving boyfriends, it doesn’t hurt quite as bad when you can’t be affectionate when out with them in public. When you’re only in the same city for a day or two roughly every month (depending on which team the trade is with), every second you could spend holding them and don’t hurts more and more. Whether I think they choose to come out or not, I really don’t know. I think so, but I’m definitely not sure. But the real question is, which cub goes away and prompts this?
If it’s a cub, it’s definitely Leo. Hazel posted a snippet that just...says so much.
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Do I even need to explain? She practically told us. I’ve spent over an hour analyzing nearly every prominent Lion when Hazel practically told us Leo was going to be the trade with this right here.
But I do have more to say. I don’t think either Finn or Logan would work well as the trade. The plot of them being separated was well explored in CtC, and I honestly just don’t think it needs more examination. They learned to cherish each other, talk to each other, love each other freely and honestly. Them being separated again would just hurt. It wouldn’t serve a narrative purpose.
On the other hand, I do think Leo’s character could actually benefit from some time alone. He had barely a few months as a full-blown adult, working in the NHL, before he entered a committed relationship with his two lovely boyfriends, both of whom had had years more time to live with and explore themselves (tho it’s not as if they were doing that freely). A couple of months or even years dating long-distance could force Leo to have some more adventures on his own and come into himself more. Then, he can fully return to his boys, his “long-lost lover[s],” and be more stable in his love.
In a similar vein, Logan and Finn have only had short amounts of time to make their leg of the relationship stable and happy in comparison to the time they spent yearning or heartbroken. Even in CtC, their reflex is to go to Leo first, which is, of course, perfectly fine and lovely and adorable, but I think they need to spend some time unlearning that knee jerk reaction.
Then, when Leo comes back (because one way or another, in canon or in my head, he will), all three are confident in themselves as individuals and in each leg of the relationship as well as the three of them as group. No one and no couple n e e d s anything, but they come back together because they all love each other, more than anything.
That’s what I think will see in Vaincre. At the very least, it’s what I want.
Vaincre is by the one and only @lumosinlove
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i-just-want-to-destroy · 10 days ago
WAIT I THINK I MISSED THE ASK POST BUT IF UR STILL UP FOR IT homie how about 14, 15, 18, and/or 27 if you’re up for it??? if they’ve been answered already and i missed them no worries about it!!
hello, thanks very much for the ask!!!!! :)
14. If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?
ive never written him, probably never will, but absolutely saiki kusuo. 
if its a character that i have written, probably aizawa. he seems reliable. im sure he’ll figure it out. or we’d die together which is also cool.
15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?
my fics are all too shitty to be made into films but hollywood movies are mostly shitty anyway. so, demonology. would love to see demonology matrix style.
18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.
i love chapter 6 of misdirection. the whole card scene. it was hell to write, but the pay off was amazing.
i remember i held off that chapter for like a month or so bc i was stuck lol. nusm-deku isnt a fighting guy.. he wouldn’t physically fight his enemies; thats his whole thing. and aizawa, though not infallible, wouldnt physically fight deku either. for one thing, hes against a kid, and secondly, he probably wouldnt lose. hes a seasoned pro hero, it just doesnt make sense if he loses (i dont want to nuke a character’s strength for the sake of making another character look cool). and if nusm-deku does pull out some trick that actually manages to beat aizawa in a fight, that wouldnt lead aizawa to be inclined in working with deku either--aizawa isnt that kind of guy.
so how was i gonna have them face off against each other with cooperation as the endgame? this was like the biggest issue with this fic when i started writing it, how to write their confrontation. but then it clicked.. mind game + bargaining would be the answer. both of them have a bargaining chip that the other wants. ta-dah. 
i always knew there was going to be a card game, so i decided ok, this is it, lets put it here. blackjack is simple enough. now another issue is that... who’d win? (yes i didnt plan this out. i dont plan anything when i write) if deku wins, again, it feels like im lowballing aizawa’s character... “losing” wouldn’t be a motivation for someone with aizawa’s principle; i feel like if he loses, he would find another way, he just won’t give in. but if aizawa wins, then what’s the point of the fic, right? this au deku isn’t someone who gives in either, he would definitely find another way too. in a sense both of their characters are a bit too similar to each other, in their principles--its a struggle for control between the two. so how was this story going to achieve a satisfying conclusion that a) makes sense, b) cool as fuck, c) respect both of their characters?
it takes a while to figure out that i have to somehow make the both of them lose and win at the same time. that kind of bittersweet, imperfect achievement just works and it just.. makes their whole dynamic. it works perfectly. and then the last chapter manages to become full circle to the first chapter. 
its one of the most satisfying conclusions ive ever done personally. love that chapter.
27. If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it?
i think the only “discontinued” bnha fic rn is homecoming king. 
im really curious whats gonna happen in homecoming tbh. my first idea about it was actually what if nomu deku is enrolled in 1-A lol? that would be super interesting. makes no sense (danger to the rest of the kids etc), but that’s fanfiction for you. i would like to see that happen.  
but the most logical turn of events, i think, is that the commission is absolutely going to attempt to control nomu deku and use him as a weapon slash guinea pig for their own use. aizawa, on the other hand, would feel some kind of weird obligation to deku and try his best to get the kid some sort of semblance of a normal life--to no avail, ofc. and this is where bkg comes to picture.. i think it would be interesting if this deku gets attached to bkg bc bkg is the only recollection he has of his “previous” life. thus, bkg will be used by the commission to “control” this nomu deku. like they would let deku to meet bkg as a reward. and bkg? bkg, seeing his childhood friend slash ex-bullying victim become an inhumane creature slash hero commission’s attack dog? oh.. bkg’s gonna have his own mental health shot to hell.
this, i think, is the plot that makes most sense. a bit fucked up huh? now i wanna write it.
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oceanbaby888 · 16 days ago
This lunar eclipse may be heavy on mutable signs since it's in Sagittarius. Heavy meaning you guys may really feel pulled to change or start feeling like where you are now needs to be scraped or changed. This doesn't just have to be mutable signs, but mutables you may feel it the most depending on where you have mutable energy placed in your natal chart.
Since it's in the sign of sagittarius, you may want to change things according to your belief systems, how you look at travelling (especially in the midst of a pandemic), whether or not the life you lead spiritually fulfills you, your thoughts on school and academia, and if the experiences you have in your life give you wisdom and how can you apply it to decisions in your life.
You may also feel more ready to release things weighing you down, full moons usually represent releasing or things coming full circle. Do be mindful not to rush though since Mercury retrograde is in preshadow, but hey if you know you wanna do it dont let Mercury stop you neither!
Understand as well mutable energy is more free flowing, so it's also okay to not have an answer today but maybe tomorrow or another day, hell that's life anyway, but dont be discouraged if you arent sure rn. Just take time to think of what's important and not important to you, and go from there!
Hope this helps you understand the power of the lunar eclispe today! Love yall!
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echowriters · 17 days ago
soothe - chae hyungwon
pairing: boyfriend hyungwon + female reader
genre: fluff
word count: 1k+
warnings: suggestive sexual content
summary: the morning after.
author’s note: omg something that is actually kinda drabble length? anyways if u peeped my previous post, i’m going on a short hiatus because school is getting pretty overwhelming rn. this is gonna be my last thing i’m gonna post writing wise until i’m back in a month or two. see y’all soon.
[library] [monsta x library]
Hyungwon looks peaceful when he sleeps.
He’s a side sleeper, you’re finding out. The room is quiet and tranquil, his cheeks pressed against the bulk of the pillow, causing his plush lips to pout cutely; likely unintentional. 
He must be especially comfortable; one of his arms are currently tucked underneath his pillow, the other loosely wrapped around your naked waist. Expression soft with a smoothed-out brow, you can’t help but reach out to trace the lines of his face, rubbing your thumb against the fullness of his cheek before sliding your hand down. Resting your palm against his bare chest, you feel the barely-there thud of his heartbeat against your skin, comforting you.
You aren’t surprised to see him stir at your touch, his arm tightening around your naked body as a response, bringing you closer. It allows you to reach up to his dark hair, running your fingers through the locks in appreciation. His longer hair is definitely your favourite, you admit, reminiscing the way your hands tugged and clutched at it the night before, his mouth working wonders between your legs for the very first time.
Your cheeks heat up at the memory as Hyungwon takes a deep breath, opening his eyes to see your awaiting face.
“Hi,” you whisper, the tenderness of your voice breaking through the hushed silence of the room. A warm smile slips onto your lips as your hand glides down to his stubbled chin, stroking it with a gentle hand.
Hyungwon’s gaze softens immediately at the gesture, his arm drawing your body even closer towards his, lips finding your forehead with ardor. Your heart instantaneously melts at the affectionate nature of his action.
“Mornin’”, he murmurs groggily against your skin, voice low and raspy due to just waking up. His thumb rubs soothing circles into your back, making you hum contently in response.
Lazily, you encircle your arms around his neck, face tilting up to meet his. Your mouth briefly touches his jaw twice before he tips his head down, capturing your lips in a chaste kiss. His calloused palm slowly slides up, a hitched breath escaping your mouth as he cups the base of your neck, effectively deepening the kiss. Starved for oxygen, you pull away to break the kiss, breathing laboured.
“Good morning to you too,” you breathe, grinning before leisurely moving your body on top of his, pressing your breasts against his chest as his back meets the plush mattress underneath. Propping your face up on his chest, it allows him to take in your fresh face and messy hair. His eyes trail to the dark marks he left on your skin from the night before, satisfaction rushing through him as he remembers the way you writhed underneath him, the breathless gasps and throaty moans you made when he gave them to you.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, calloused hands palming at your thighs.
“Good. Really good,” you admit.
He gifts you with a small, charming smile before giving you another kiss, moving his mouth sensually over yours. Your hands manage to find its way back into his hair, fingers fishing through the knots and tangles before tugging at the strands lightly. It’s almost as if you’re asking for something.
Hyungwon smiles lazily against your lips, surrendering himself to the feel of your bare skin against his. He slides his palms from your thighs to grasp at your ass briefly, eventually deciding to move upwards instead to wrap his arms around your waist protectively. He kisses you slowly, full of intent, taking all the time in the world to convey the immense love that he feels for you.
He’s so tender, so loving in the moment, leaving you a breathless mess once he pulls away from your lips. He gazes at you with such warmth and gentleness that your heart pounds out of your chest, stomach fluttering.
“I love you,” you say in a hushed whisper, placing a hand on his cheek as you give him a shy smile.
He hums in response, placing his hand over your own.
“I love you too,” he responds fondly, pressing his lips against the back of your hand before moving to kiss each knuckle devotedly.
You get up some time later, fully naked as you peruse through your closet. However, you couldn’t even focus on finding what you need, not when you can practically feel Hyungwon’s eyes tracing every single inch of your bare body.
“Stop staring,” you mutter, one of your arms wrapping around your breasts, flushing modestly as the other free hand shuffles through the contents of your closet, “You’re making me nervous.”
His brow raises, a sly grin creeping onto his face as he leans back against the headboard. Head tilting to the side, he stares even more, gaze heating up.
“That didn’t bother you last night,” he quips, finally making his way off the comfort of your bed.
This makes you heat up, adverting your eyes where he stands. Clearly, Hyungwon is amused at how bashful you’re becoming, watching you pout after puffing out your cheeks petulantly.
“Ok, but it was dark and now you can see… Everything,” you reply quietly, shifting your weight nervously as your hands swing idly beside you.
Your insecurities are comforted when you feel the warmth of his body behind you, pressing against your back. His face buries itself into your neck, his hands running down your arms gingerly. He reassures you by brushing his hands over yours, coaxing your hands away to keep yourself from hiding any longer.
The adoration and tenderness of his touch prompts you to reveal your body to him reluctantly, resting the back of your head against his shoulder. Cupping your chest in his palm, he strokes at the flesh lovingly, causing you to bite back a sigh at his touch.
“Shut up,” he starts crassly, oddly making you laugh in the soft moment, “You’re perfect the way you are,” he continues softly, brushing his lips against your ear.
all rights reserved © 2021 echowriters
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zenith-impact · 21 days ago
i don’t know if you’re still accepting may prompt requests, so if you aren’t, just ignore this!
could i get either memory lane + xiao or albedo + homecoming? i adore your writing btw!! you’re probably my favorite genshin author as of rn. i hope you have a great/day night— oh, and happy anniversary to you and your husband!! 💞
Thank you so much ☆ ~('▽^人) Reading that really made my day!
I went ahead and did both prompts! Albedo's half will be under the cut. Thank you for the request!
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The rain drizzles off of the roof of the inn, catching the light from the sun as it slips gently out of the sky. A rainbow curves in the distance, but it too is starting to fade. Some, like the people standing on the balcony below, might call a day such as this beautiful. Others, like the guests curled up by the fire or locked up in their rooms might call it a bother. For Xiao, it was a time to reminisce. A time to think on the centuries he's lived and piece together the small things that keep him going. The voices in his head retreat, leaving only the sound of the water plopping against the wood. His skin is covered in droplets but he ignores them, preferring to stare into the horizon.
Memories were difficult for Xiao. Not because he has a bad memory, but because he doesn’t have very many good ones. Meeting Rex Lapis was a shining beacon in a sea of violence and chaos. Darkness is often the only thing he sees. A haze in which he is disconnected from the pain he suffered in his early years. Other times his memories are crystal clear- something the voices that plague him make sure of. He reflects on all of this, ignoring the rain as it seeps into his skin. He is an adepti. The cold doesn't bother him, nor will it ever.
And yet, as he tries to focus on the karmic debt he holds, he finds his mind drifting back to you. The moments you share are much more recent. They are events that he never thought he'd experience. Memories that he never imagined would be his own. Laughter that makes his heart race. The gentle caress of fingers on his battle hardened skin and scars. The feeling of your hand in his, squeezing as you tell him another story of the life he has become a part of.
Years ago, he almost rejected you. Now, he can't imagine a world without you in his life.
He looks down, realizing that the balcony is now empty save for you and the towel in your hand. The rain has ceased as the sun dips below the horizon, giving way to the full moon. You are as captivating as ever, drawing his attention like a moth to a flame. "Why are you here?" He says.
You smile. "Because you are."
He huffs as he hops off the rooftop. "And if I wasn't?"
"Then I would have waited for you."
"For how long?"
"As long as it took."
Satisfied, he leans on the railing overlooking the Dihua Marsh. You join him, still smiling. "I can fix that you know."
"Fix what?"
You gesture to him in a dramatic fashion. "All of that."
"Are you implying I need fixing?"
You roll your eyes. "I'd just be drying you off, silly."
"I do not need your help," He says, though his dripping hair betrays him as water slithers down his face.
"Please," you say, holding out the towel. Your Hydro vision glitters, taunting him. "Water is my specialty."
Xiao huffs, crossing his arms. "Do what you will." You were moving before he even finished his sentence, dropping the towel on his head with little fanfare. He glares at you, but you just laugh as you massage his scalp. He feels the water seeping into the towel, drying his hair in record time. You leave it there as you take a step back, drawing a circle in the air with your finger. Water rises off his body and clothes, gathering in a ball in front of him. You reach your hands out, directing the ball to float between them as you draw more in. The dampness on his skin fades. His clothes return to their normal softness. The last of the drops that cling to his mask slip away. You grin, mesmerized by your own handiwork.
Xiao's expression softens as he watches you, committing every detail of this moment to memory. The way your eyes glisten. The way your skin and muscles move with every small flick of your wrist or twist of your arm. The way the clothes fold and stretch with your body. The rising moon that fills the background with silver light and accentuates everything about you. The grin you give him as you make the water disappear. "Come on " you say, looping your arm in his. "Let's get out of the cold." With that, you guide him back to the room that has become your second home. Xiao follows, his heart yearning for you every step of the way.
Of all the memories Xiao has tucked away over the years, he decides that you will always be his favorite.
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Albedo liked to think he was good at managing his stress. Experiments often went awry and he was always there to calm everybody down and get it under control. His time on Dragonspine was inherently stressful but he never let it get to him as it was just another experiment but in colder weather. Oftentimes he didn't even acknowledge things that should have been stressful to begin with. He doesn't have the same worries as someone like Sucrose or Timaeus. Albedo simply focuses on the task at hand and gets it all done.
But today was the day you were coming home after nearly two months away, and Albedo felt nothing but sheer anxiety.
"Albedo?" Sucrose said, peering over her notes. At first he said nothing, staring down at his sketchbook without actually seeing anything. He swore he heard his name, but his brain doesn't connect the dots. It wasn't until Sucrose cleared her throat and tried again that he was actually able to listen. "Albedo!"
"Yes?" He said, glancing up at her. His posture was rigid. His hand was tight on the pencil. His eyes felt the urge to dart around the room as the rest of him wished he could pace to relieve some stress. It is an uncomfortable position to be in, and Albedo couldn't help but feel bad as worry flickered across Sucrose's face.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
Albedo sighs. “They are coming home today.” Sucrose nods, her expression flickering to understanding.
“Why does that worry you?”
“It’s been so long…”
“Two months isn’t very long.” Sucrose puts a finger to her chin in thought. “Actually… this is the first time that they’ve left Mondstadt, isn’t it? Usually its you that has to go on these excursions.”
“That is the most common scenario in our relationship, yes.”
“But they’ve started coming with you,” Sucrose said.
Albedo nodded. “During our last two investigations.”
“But you had work to do for the Knights.”
“Are you worried they won’t come back?”
He ponders this. He is not worried that you ran away or something like that. Your entire life is in Mondstadt. Not just your relationship with him, but your family, all of your friends, your livelihood… you weren’t the kind of person to abandon everything on a whim. You’d even been slightly nervous about the trip, as it was rare for you to leave the city without him or your family by your side. You were a capable person, yes, and you’d trained for years to defend yourself. Anything life threw at you, Albedo was confident you could handle. So, he said, “No I’m not.”
“Are you worried they don’t love you anymore?”
Albedo froze at that statement, but quickly parsed through it. The two of you had been together for quite some time now, and he had long since gotten over his fear of losing you. He couldn’t think of any glaring holes in your relationship. You had left for this excursion on the best of terms with both of you taking a few days off before the event to enjoy your time together. You had even expressed sincere regret that you could not take him with you. So, once again, he said, “No I’m not.”
“Then what is there to worry about?”
Albedo didn’t know, yet his stress didn’t dissipate. Sucrose seemed to notice this, for she just tilted her head and smiled. “You’re worried about seeing them again.”
“I… don’t follow.”
“It’s been so long,” She said, putting her notes down on the table. “You probably want everything to be perfect.” She sat at the seat next to him, reaching for her own pencil. “You probably imagine them running through the gates of Mondstadt and straight into your waiting arms. Maybe you’re even holding flowers or a nice gift. Maybe you’ve planned the perfect dinner or cleaned the house. Maybe you just want to spend time with them, just the two of you.”
“None of that is inherently stressful.”
“But the idea that things might not be perfect is to you,” She said. “But you know them. They’ll want to return to life as seamlessly as possible. No fanfare. No worries. No problem.” She pointed the end of her pencil at Albedo. “You just want them to know how much you love them.”
Albedo glanced down at his sketchbook where an unfinished drawing of you lay. It was one of his slowest drawings to date as he worked between his experiments, only committing to paper what he was absolutely certain was perfect from his memories. He’d started it the day you left, reflecting on everything that made you, well, you. He’d taken multiple pages just sketching your eyes, your hands, your feet. He’d spent an entire day working on the various ways you might mess with your hair during the excursion and imagined the clothes he knew you took with you. But even now, the day you were meant to come home, his image wasn’t quite done. He needed to see you again. Commit another version of your form to his memory so that the image was as perfect as you were.
“Perfection,” He muttered.
“Don’t worry about that,” Sucrose said. “Just be yourself.”
Albedo turned back to his drawing and got to work, pulling on the images that filled his mind on a daily basis. He drew the gates of Mondstadt, open and inviting. He drew the dandelions floating in the wind outside and the grass just on the edges. In the center, he finished his sketch of you - bright eyed and smiling like you always did. He picked apart every detail down to the laces on your shoes. The more he drew, the more his anxiety slipped away. This was his comfort zone. This was what reminded him of the person he was waiting for.
He rose at the sound of your voice, sketchbook in hand as he rushed to meet you, his stress finally forgotten.
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froog-water · 23 days ago
howdy y'all, again! 
just quickly before the chapter starts, i wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who reads this! i have received a lot of support for this thing (more than i had hoped) and i am beyond grateful for it!
again, if there are any mistakes in this chapter, just hmu and i will fix it. i am just tired rn :)
also, slight warning for the beginning of the chapter, there are vivid descriptions of blood and gore and death. but nothing really troubling past that ;P
be safe out there my friends and thank you again
Upwards Over the Mountain
(Bloodhound x Reader)
previous; Chapter 2
Winter is in full swing and the entire world is covered in a thick blanket of white snow and eternal cold. For the most part, you had forgotten all about Bloodhound and the stranger circumstance of your meeting. Because there was not much for a bunch of fishermen and farmers to do during the stagnant times of chill, your bar had become a most frequented hotspot for these idle workers meaning you had very little time to yourself. Busy hands kept your mind busy too and soon some, if not most, of that night had been pushed back to the recesses of your consciousness.  It also did not help that they never took you up on your offer of returning to the bar. They retreated back into being merely a story to you, a faint memory of a person long moved on. You could hardly even remember if it had even really happened at all. Oh well, you supposed they had better things to do.
Early morning light was barely seeping in through your bedroom window when you managed to open your eyes. Groggily you yawn and stretch and slowly go to open the curtains. Greeting you was the pleasant sight of a land half-asleep, the sky a brilliant warm pink despite the rest being draped in an unimaginable freeze. Your breath collected as fog on the frozen glass and tentatively you reach out to touch it. It was a lovely morning indeed and it would have stayed that way had you not looked up into the sky.
In the distance, large birds circled. Tiredness shifts to dread as you adjust your eyes to try to get a better look. Those were no ordinary birds, you remark taking note of how large their bodies were and of the swooping patterns of their flight. Those were scavenging birds. And there is only one thing to bring scavengers out during Winter.
You dress quickly, putting on your best and thickest jacket and pants, before grabbing your hunter's knife and bow. Andante was a man of many talents, most of which he passed on to you. One of those talents was his hunting skills. The summer before his knees went, was spent mostly out in the heart of the wild woods. It was an interesting experience, to say the least, and though you were nowhere near what could be considered good, you understood the basics of the hunt and of the weapons you wielded and you knew how to read signs. Signs like scavenger birds circling in the sky. Signs like there was something dying.
Into the snow you run without much of a second thought, your head locked upwards as you follow the shapes of the birds eyeing their next meal. What confused you most about this strange encounter was not the presence of the birds themselves, but the proximity that they were to you and the rest of the town. This was wild country, home of beasts and lands untamed and untouched by man’s iron hand. That much you knew, encounters like this were commonplace if you dared to leave the safety of human comforts. But you were not out in the uncomfortable forest which meant that whatever had caught the bird's attention was either very far from home or of a more concerning matter.
You edge into the outskirts of the white forest, the trees around you nothing more than empty sticks bearing only wind and ice. Overhead, the birds caw and swoop and through the boney fingers of branches, you can see that they are getting lower. You had to move quickly before they did. As you go deeper in, approaching what you assumed to be the border of someone's field, you hear something. Faintly, carried on the morning breeze, was the mewling of an animal. Your pace quickens and quietens as you zone in on the source, painfully aware of how loud the snow was underfoot but pushing on regardless. The relief that you had felt at knowing it was not a person in danger eases some of your mounting anxieties and offers you momentary strength to continue on in pursuit. If given the choice, you would have gladly left whatever animal lay in wait to its own devices, you had no business intruding in on their affairs - your presence would only bring them distress no matter your intentions. But something about this situation told you otherwise and guided your feet to where you would most certainly be needed. On the outskirts of a clearing, you spot something and crouch behind a leafless brush.
There before you, not even 20 meters away, was a fallen elk. You swallow down your gasp and try to focus over the noise of your beating heart, which becomes only louder as you start to take in the entire situation. The animal has toppled over a wired fence of some farmer's land, its hind leg still entangled and bleeding from its restraints, held high above the rest of its body at an uncomfortable angle. From its bloody mouth, it screamed weakly, puffs of dying hot breath escaping with the haunting noise. Your first guess was that this misdirected elk had simply gotten itself stuck in the fence, a most unfortunate event but not entirely implausible, but upon closer inspection at the rest of its heaving body, your guess died on your tongue.
Horrible, long gashes run down the length of the animal's side, pooling blood into the snow around it turning white to red. Its powerful neck was sliced deep in odd places and one of its front legs looked twisted or broken. This creature had not done this kind of destruction to itself - it was attacked. By something. You slowly turn your head around to scan the morning shadows of the forest clearing for any glowing eyes of an animal on the hunt. But there was no predator to be found. There would be none of course, because if there was such a predator here, then why would it not have killed its prey by now? Animals do not find enjoyment in torture and no man, you hoped, would ever do such heinous crimes to such innocent life. For now, at least, it was only you and the elk and the circling, hungry birds.
The elk cries again and you notice how its kicks have become lethargic and stifled by freezing joints and waning energy. It was suffering. Without much debate you ready an arrow in your bow, pulling taut the string with trained proficiency. You whisper to yourself a prayer, hoping that it would only take one arrow to kill the poor thing. You line your aim up, try to cease the shaking in your hands and shoulders, breathing deeply. Your arrow flies prematurely and misses its target, rather than piercing its skull you instead strike it in its neck, right behind its ear. The thing wails, although much softer and with more subtle movements - you must have hit its spine. Seizing the opportunity, you rush forward, ignoring the lurching of your stomach and pulling out your knife. Without a moment's hesitation, you drive it deep into the elk’s heart, right to the hilt of the blade. A little excessive, you deride, but a necessity given your previous inability to finish it quickly.
The thing stops moving. The pained cries fade off into the cold wind. You are left alone with your thoughts and the smell of fresh blood. Beneath your hands the elk lay motionless, its beautiful, soft fur a gentle texture against your trembling form. Andante had made sure that you had killed a few animals before he had honored you with a knife of your own. Still, experience did not dull the sharp sting of shock nor quell the rising weight in your chest. It was suffering, you reminded yourself, lightly dragging your fingers down the side of the animal's large and strong back.
These elk were beautiful creatures, graceful and nimble; they pranced through the wilderness in powerful, delicate strides showcasing the ultimate wonder of the natural world. You had encountered a herd of them once, all the while mesmerized as they strode past your hiding spot without a care in the world. It was quite distressing to see one now crumpled and lifeless. Emptiness sits heavy in your chest and though you know you are not going to throw up, the pressure erupts and you fall to your knees. A red hand clasps the arrow lodged deep in the neck of the animal and sharply pulls it out. You blink hard but cannot stop the tears that threaten to burn your eyes.
It was an animal. It was suffering. You did the right thing.
From somewhere behind you, the softest snow crunches, and your pity party abruptly ends as you draw another arrow and spin around. For a few tense seconds, your fingers quiver around the bow’s string, ready to shoot down if you so dared it. You only hesitate when you finally recognize the figure.
Bloodhound quietly raises both their gloved hands, fingers spread apart in an unarmed, peaceful gesture. You remain poised a moment longer until your eyes start to prick with new tears and you are forced to look away. You drop your arrow and turn back around to the elk, furiously trying to wipe your face with the clean sleeve of your jacket. Now, this was a predicament. What god had you spite so hard to deserve this kind of cruelty? True embarrassment blends with your established disgust and you fear now you may really throw up. Here was a true hunter, a beast born in blood and forged to kill. And here also was you, wallowing in pity. If only you could sink into the floor.
You can hear Bloodhound approach and soon feel their impending presence standing right next to you, taking in the sight of the poor thing on the ground. No one spoke, only the wind dared whisper in the dead world around you. The silence was stretching on for far too long and you knew you had to break it before it became too uncomfortable.
“I’m…” You sniffle hard, trying to force strength into your voice knowing full well that you had very little left to offer. You cough and stand up straight. “I’m not going to do you the dishonor and assume this was your kill.” You say, your voice somehow managing to sustain itself despite your state. Bloodhound does not respond right away, instead, they remain motionless, eyes scanning every detail of the elk and committing it to memory. You shake loose the last of your unstable emotions and grab ahold of your knife again. You move to the elk’s tangled leg and set to work cut free the wires.
“You cry for the animal.” Bloodhound finally speaks, sounding more like an observation rather than a question. With your attention focused on your task, you manage to answer in a more steady and calm attitude.
“Yes.” This was your admission of guilt, not just to Bloodhound but to yourself as well. God, how pathetic you were. “Yes, I cried. I know it is natural. That this is how it is meant to be but,” You hesitate, your lapse in concentration misguiding your knife and almost slicing the tip of our index finger. “This is not a hunt nor a kill. This poor creature was driven away from its home and family and pushed to our borders by some deranged and cruel beast. This is not natural. It was not killed to feed mouths. It was tortured. And it died confused and alone.” The leg snaps free from the wired fence and you wipe your blade clean on the snowy floor, ugly red stains being the only reminder of your deed.
“There is no shame in veeping.” Bloodhound murmurs a brash reassurance and kneels down, tracing their fingers from the elk’s wounds. “Vhat did this?”
“My guess is,” You state taking a step back and allowing Bloodhound to proceed with whatever they were wanting to do with the body, “A few years back, an illegal trading ship hit a bit of trouble just beyond our planet's frontier and had to quickly dump its cargo on the East mountains. Some of that cargo was the creatures we call ‘Shrieks’. They are alien to this ecosystem but even though they are terribly small and their numbers were minimal, they dominated the local wildlife - killing not just for food but for fun. The town’s people tried to cull some of their numbers but,” You explanation stutters off and you hastily take in a sharp breath, the icy air burning your nose and lungs. “Well, they could not get them all. It appears now that they are growing in size again. And in courage.”
Bloodhound does not respond, their attention wholly directed at the study of the animal. You wait a moment longer, the adrenaline of the moment finally ebbing off and allowing the freezing cold to seep into your bones. You shiver and wrap your arms around your body. Bloodhound stands, all the while their attention remains downward.
“You can leave it there.” You say, passing one more glance over the body before averting your gaze elsewhere. “If you want nothing from it, leave it for the birds. They could use the meal.” As if aware of their mention, the still-waiting scavengers call loudly from the tree-top. A raven answers with a caw and you look around to find many black birds scattered around the clearing. The birds do seem to follow their raven stranger everywhere they went. The wind howled through the desolate forest and you grimace upon thinking of returning to your empty house with such a shallow heart. The smell of blood lingers cruelly to your clothes, reminding you of what you had just witnessed. You had to think of something to keep your mind off it, thinking of your act for people, play your part until you finally were normal again. But your bar would not be open until at least noon and there was no one else who would be willing to distract you.
“Did you track it all the way here?” Your voice breaks the silence, your mind subconsciously switching to your more charming persona. They do not answer immediately.
“I sensed distress and followed its blood.” They weren’t giving you much to work off of and you shuffle in place.
“Then I suppose you will need a ride back?” This garners their attention and they turn to face you, the nerve of being under their masked gaze still sending jolts up and down your spine.
“I cannot accept your generosity again.” Bloodhound tries to talk you down but you scoff and lift a hand to silence them.
“Please, I won't be needed until lunch and I really don't mind.” Your tone successfully managed to hide that you had a third reason to be so insistent - you just hoped that they could not see the desperation in your face. They could. They take a moment to consider your offer, whatever expression lay under their mask you would never know. The raven to their left caws and they turn to look at it. It takes off after a final noise and Bloodhound lowers their head back to you - some secret understanding passing between bird and hunter.
“Then,” Bloodhound motions for you to lead the way, “By all means.” Though strained and almost painful, your first smile of the day pulls at your lips and you turn around to walk back to your house.
Bloodhound, as bizarre and strange as they were, never afforded you the opportunity to truly draw a defined picture of their personality. Wrapped so totally in mystery and gear, your perception of them was created on a flimsy base of shadows - beyond what they portrayed on T.V, you knew nothing of. But in the frozen forest of that Winter’s morning, something changed and you felt your world flip upside down onto its head.
Bloodhound was a lot more talkative on the way to their cabin than they had been the first time. Or any time really that you had interacted with them. It had started with you asking them the simple question of how they managed to track the injured elk and although their initial answer remained vague, a tangent soon manifested and from there the spiral began. To your utter surprise, and mild enjoyment, they proved themselves to be a great storyteller and had many wonderful and whimsical tales about their Gods and hunts that had made the drive over to their place seem almost too short.
“Most people stop me at this point.” Bloodhound commented, drawing a snicker from you as your eyes were glued to the ice-capped road ahead.
“Well, most people are not here. And I am very much enjoying myself. I love stories.” You could not see it, but your response brought a cracked smile to Bloodhound's hidden face.
By the time you had reached their cabin, they had entranced you in a tale about wolves and the true essence of the hunt. Though you thought your morning could not get any more surprising, Bloodhound steps out of your truck and extends an offer to share warm drinks with them inside. In the heart of Winter, you could not resist the temptation.
The interior of their cabin was much as you expected - totally unpredictable. It was like a bear and a machine had a fight, a complete subversion of everything you had come to know as normal. On the floor was a multitude of animal rugs, the couches too were draped with the furs of Bloodhound’s past, presumed, victories. Yet despite the clear aesthetic for ruggedness, a definite sense of modern order was showing through. The fireplace was quaint in its design but unmistakable retro. The furniture too, the chairs and tables, shelves and windows, were all of a very contemporary era. A perfect combination of the comforts of the past and the conveniences of the present. But all and all, the only word that came to your head when you first stepped in through their front door was - cozy.
Bloodhound leads you through their small cabin, past the living room, and into the small kitchen. They motion for you to take a seat at the wooden table in the center of the room and you marvel at the smells and sights around you. Hanging from strings draped across the walls were various herbs and spices and on the counter in bowls were fresh fruit and vegetables. They must have visited the town if this was their food supply and you feel a twinge of apprehension pluck at your light mood. You brush it off as Bloodhound asks if you would prefer tea or coffee.
“I find myself the one in honor of sharing breakfast with you this morning. Fair varning must be made, however,” Bloodhound extends a steaming cup towards you, “I have been told I am not the most accomplished of hosts.” You smile gratefully and take the cup into your shivering hands. The drink was shockingly and terribly bitter and you barely manage to hold back your gag at the first sip. Bloodhound snickers at your reaction and produces a tub of honey for you to add to your drink. “And that my tastes are mostly unagreeable.”
“Oh please,” You wheeze weakly after drowning your taste buds in the soothing honey, “This is nothing. Besides, I assume that, with your choice of isolation, you don’t particularly want to be anyone's host.” Bloodhound hums at your comment, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with it. They pull up to the opposite chair and take a seat and you notice how their drink has a straw in it.
“I am not entirely opposed to indulging certain people. And even fewer dare to give my delights a try. Therefore I rather keep them to myself. I do, however, give special heed to those vho show interest in my stories.” This draws a smirk from your lips as you bring the hot liquid up to your mouth for another sip. Content silence passes through the room and you focus intently on the warmth now spreading through your hands and to the rest of your body. “I did not think that anyone vould be out on such a morning like this.” Bloodhound admits, causing you to slowly look at them and lower your cup.
“Most are too old or too busy to take time out of their day to notice these things, or to even care. And I do not do well in the cold. Today was a special exception.” At the mention of the temperature outside you quickly raise your cup to your mouth and down another gulp. When you open your eyes again, you finally notice the bird in the room who had before blended so seamlessly in with the other oddities of the kitchen. Sat on a perch made of carved wood to the left of Bloodhound was their signature raven. It tilts its head at your attention, letting out a meek calling before eyeing you up and down. Bloodhound must really like their raven friend if they were kind enough to invite them inside. The sight alone was enough to bring a bemused grin to your chapped lips and Bloodhound watched it all happen in mild fascination.
“Do you often listen to birds?” They ask, breaking you out of an almost trance and extending to their raven a piece of freshly sliced apple.
“It is not so strange.” You breathe a laugh, “It was what led me to finding you in the rain that first evening.” Bloodhound turns their disk-like lenses towards your face and wordlessly implores you to continue. Despite the warmth now residing in your bones, you still shiver under their daunting gaze. “Your friend I mean,” You motion to the raven who has also turned to look at you with its beady, brown eyes as if aware that it was the topic of conversation, “Its cries were all I could hear. Which is saying something, considering it was storming pretty hard.”
“I do not think it skrýtinn.” Bloodhound replies without missing a beat, their voice mellow and their words an alluring symphony of strange syllables, a true joy to listen to. “Just an uncommon trait in most people. And his name is Artur.” You pass the bird a look and slightly tip your head in acknowledgment of his name. He squawks and fluffs his chest feathers, clearly enjoying being the center of attention. Bloodhound smiles at the bird. “Ravens are the messengers of the Allfather. They guide and aid me on my hunts. I do not think it skrýtinn to listen to them. Only that someone else does also.”
“You give me too much credit.” You bashfully avert your gaze, dropping your eye level to the rim of your mug no longer steaming. “It has only been a few, very odd occasions. Mere coincidences if nothing else.” Bloodhound shrugs off your deflection, unpersuaded by your argument.
“Even so.” The room falls into a content stillness after their last comment and you are left wondering how you had even ended up here. On T.V, Bloodhound was a truly mysterious character, never talking or partaking in the more rowdy activities as the others did. Sure, you were not an avid watcher, but from what little time you had spent gazing at the screen, you had made Bloodhound out to be a vastly stoic, isolated person. And by all means, they had mostly proven themselves to be exactly that person, what with their initial reluctance to meet your extended friendliness and the way they had so precariously placed themselves on this mountain all alone. However, sitting now with them in their own house, you did not feel intruding or unwelcome. And the way they spoke to you, the ease of words and conversation, came as soft and comfortable as if from someone you had known before. From them, you could feel nothing but gentle amity.
“Do you hunt?” Bloodhound’s voice wafts through the air and to your ears, bringing your head up in a hum. You snicker, a twinge of embarrassment pulling at your chest.
“Not if I can help it. Though Andante did try, I simply cannot,” you inhale deeply through your nose, suddenly aware of the gaze trained attentively on you, “Find the strength to actually kill anything. Much to the dismay of my patrons.” This peaks Bloodhounds attention and they motion for you to explain yourself.
“Every year around the beginning of Summer, before the birth of the first lambs, the town gathers for a sort of Summer festival. With my bar being the sole provider of food and alcohol for such an event, it normally fell upon Andante to supply the people with a freshly killed elk. A make-shift banquet we would all share. Everyone has so much fun.” Your head drops and your shoulders give inwards.
“But with him gone, I doubt I would be able to give the people what they want. Last year I barely managed to scrape by, I had to do a lot of ass-kissing to get the more hardened townsfolk back on my side. But this year,” Your story fades and you sigh miserably, the relief of finally expressing this concern aloud only seeming to momentarily dull the growing sense of shame.
“It is stupid, I know.” You run a hand through your hair, the bubbling self-hatred in your stomach threatening to go overboard. You were oversharing again. A lot. But you could not find a way to stop. “But, what right do I have to take the life of an animal when I already have frozen meat stored in my fridge?” Strength wanes from your knees and you are glad to be sitting down - oh, you were definitely going to kick yourself over this one later. Perhaps staying at home all alone would have been the better option after all.
In the silence that followed your last words, you felt incredible judgment bare down upon your shoulders and you wanted nothing more than to shrink away from it. Under the menace that was your own self-scrutiny, you were unable to recognize that Bloodhound was not, in fact, judging you. From behind their goggles, they watched you closely, noticing the subtle shudder of your shoulders, the downward twinge of your head, and the way your eyes seem to have lost that burning. This was something that troubled you deeply and for a terribly long time as well. So instead of what might be predicted of them to feel or do, mainly berate you for your lack of spine in the face of their profession, Bloodhound only leaned back in their chair and their mind wondering on how best to help you.
“It is not about vhat is right or vhat is not.” Bloodhound finally speaks, their tone mellow and coaxing you to look up at them again. At your acknowledgment, they continue with their explanation. “The hunt is a matter of vill - the vill of the hunter and of their prey. If your vill as a hunter surpasses that of the prey's vill to live, then you have every right to take it.” They ball their hand into a fist in an expression of power, shaking it slightly for emphasis. “You as a hunter must have an unwavering ákveðni, and strong belief in your skills. Trust your veapons and abilities, know that you are verðugt of the hunt.” Their voice lowers and they watch you for any signs of apprehension or disagreement. You only manage to look at them, eyes an unreadable ocean of something at war. They bring their fist to their chest and hammer it hard on the fabric, an attempt to ignite passion from you.
“If the hunter is humble and honors the hunt, then they have every right to taka their prey. Reap their rewards. You must just believe yourself vorthy of it. I have already seen that you have the ability and skill. Your bow, through troubled, aimed sure. And your knife brought a swift death. Now…”
“Just need to practice it.” You finish their statement, your gaze drifting a thousand miles away. Sure their wisdom was easy to take, generous even given the circumstances, but your mind was too frazzled to digest even a single word. Worthy? Not someone who hides in the forest and plays pretend bar-keeper. Bloodhound could see how you hesitated at their words, not necessarily rejecting it but not truly considering them either. They felt the urge to lean in more, to keep talking and chipping away at your pseudo mask until finally, they struck home. What were you thinking right now? Why were you so disgruntled at the thought of being worth something?
“You listen but my vords are not heard. You disagree vith vhat I say?” Bloodhound asks, their arms folding over their torso as they sit themselves upright, alert to your every movement and utterance. At their question you stir, a tired laugh that sounds more like a sigh escaping your nose and your eyes dropping their gaze.
“No, not at all. I am just… surprised.” Your response is framed with quiet complacency, your expression shifting to one of meek placidness. Bloodhound could tell that you were retreating back inside yourself, falling behind curtains of a trained profession such as the first night they met you. No longer were you that desperate person standing in the woods over a kill they mourned, instead you were a fake silhouette of someone who once was. They frown, unsure why they felt so unhappy to watch you shrink away again. Without speaking, Bloodhound asks you to elaborate.
“Forgive my rudeness but,” Your eyes snap up again and Bloodhound sees nothing in them. “I don’t really know you. And what little I do know, well, is that you are a most proficient hunter of both man and beast.” A hand lifts to your chest and you laugh. “You have seen it all and must think I am most annoying. Yet,” You pause, Bloodhound hanging off every one of your words, “You are so kind to my troubles.”
“I do not hunt in the Apex Games to prove anything. I do it for my folk and for the Allfather. I am no better than any other hunter.” Bloodhound speaks plainly, their heart thumping in their chest and their stare never once leaving your face. You smile unknowingly under their attention and they stare at your weak imitation of the real thing. Your true smile was the one they saw whilst sitting on the grass with you or when they told you stories in the car. Right now, you were faking it. Pulling away from them. Returning once more to your charade of sensibility. Whatever genuineness they had somehow managed to draw out of you was waning and they could do nothing but look on as you slipped away from them.
“I didn't mean to offend.” You ease them, your words lacing themselves with accommodation. “Your people must be very proud of all your titles however. No denying that it is impressive regardless of your motive.” You chuckle lightly. Suddenly you frown and you tilt your head at them. “May I ask,” When they did not oppose, you continued, “Why are you here? On this planet I mean. Why are you not with your people?” Bloodhound looks on like a marble statue, hardly even breathing beneath all their armor. You worry you might have overstepped your boundary and you open your mouth to apologize but they quickly cut you off.
“My folk vould not understand my decisions. Nor vould they approve of most that I do.” You can tell that the conversation was over and the warmth your bitter, hot drink had offered you only minutes earlier faded with the atmosphere. You nod in resignation.
“Then,” You say, standing and bowing your head in anticipated gratitude, the raven stranger’s attentive gaze not once shifting off your form, “I look forward to the Winter when I do not hear your Artur's call.”
“Oh my sweet, gentle Bar-keep, I am in need of your assistance!” Your eyes snap upwards from their work of stacking away cleaned glasses and you cannot help but grin at the one calling you. Seated at a table in the middle of your bar was a very drunk Thomas waving you over in exaggerated and hurried movements. He rocked backward in his seat and nearly looked as if he would fall over. You sigh and think it better to listen to him, lest your bar never know quiet again for the remainder of the evening. You step out from behind your bar table and carefully stroll over to him, a playfully condescending expression plastered to your face. Thomas beams a lop-sided smile and extends his hand, which you ignore and instead pat him lightly on his shoulder. He hums and overlaps your hand with his own seemingly unperturbed by your refusal.
“Ah my dear,” Thomas hiccups, swaying slightly in place despite being perfectly still, “Do not worry. I have not called you here to cause trouble. I just could not bear to see you stand behind your bar so lonely. I simply had to call you here. So troubled and worried over something.” Thomas squeezes your hand lightly and you roll your eyes at his obnoxious and misplaced concern.
“Though his words are slurred, they come from a genuine place.” From across the table, the farmer Mallory spoke. She offers you a sympathetic smile and silently apologies for her friend’s unruly behavior. Her heavy arms fold defensively over her large chest and she scowls at Thomas who sheepishly chuckles under her glare, retracting his hand and shrinking away slightly. Mallory sighs and looks to you again, the same concern that claimed her companion now sprinkled into her brown eyes. “You look a thousand years away tonight. What has upset you so?”
The two patrons turn their attention onto you and you gently shrug off their worries with a mild hand wave and flash of your smile. “You are looking for smoke signals when there is none, Mallory. And Mr. Thomas, you are concerned over the wrong things. You should be more concerned about returning to your own home before it gets too dark and I have to phone Rohan to come fetch you again.” Though the woman remains unmoved by your deflection, Thomas scoffs and shakes his head.
“Rohan’s bed will stay warm regardless of where I am. And he would excuse whatever lateness I cause if he had also seen how,” he stutters, his fingers flexing as he tried feebly to grasp at words that would not come, “ sad you look tonight.” You let out a tired laugh at the drunk fisherman’s antics and punch lightly at his shoulder.
“I assure you, my ‘sad looks’ are merely just that. Looks.” You gesture to the various empty beer glasses scattered around the table and after a nod from Mallory, you begin to place them on a tray to take back to the kitchen to be washed. “How ever could I be sad when I have your fine company to make my evenings so noisy?” This draws a cackle from the bitter woman, who relishes in your pecking at the man. Thomas gasps and feigns hurt under your judgments, a teasing hand placing pitifully over his broken heart.
It was all a lie, of course. There was some deep sincerity to your sadness that evening and it was not over Thomas’ painful crooning. Try as you might, your mind could not rid itself from the events that had occurred only the day before. What had happened with Bloodhound plagued your every waking moment. During the more lively hours of the day, when your bar was packed with singing, intoxicated patrons, you thankfully had a very loud and engrossing distraction. But now, as the evening winded down and the last table still waited to be cleared, your mind was awash with bitter thoughts.
It was all going so well, they had been so welcoming and friendly and you sat in their home confident and assured. They had shared in you their many stories and experiences, pulling you deeper into a conversation than you had ever been with them. And yet the moment you opened your mouth, allowed it to run unchecked and unguarded, the walls came down and the party ended. You were a fool, you kicked yourself. A damn, stupid fool for allowing yourself to speak so freely. To express to them a most sensitive part of yourself that not even your bathroom mirror had known. It was because of your inability to keep yourself in line that caused the rift to tear and now separate you from the person of your interest. Bloodhound told you such wonderful stories and now you were sure they would never want to speak to you again.
But you put on your brave face and pretend as if nothing is wrong. And that is true, of course. Nothing is wrong. Your life was fine before their intrusion and it shall be fine thereafter. The show must and will go on. Eventually, forced routine will become natural again and you will slip back into ease and complicit quietness. You will learn to move on and most certainly, so will they. If ever, you doubted greatly, you even left that much of an impact on them and all their glory.
“It is because you are so lonely, that's why you are so sad.” Thomas chimes, drawing both yours and Mallory’s attention back on him. He hums with content and leans back in his chair, sure that if he had a beard he would be stroking it thoughtfully. “We must find you someone to work with. Someone you can boss around and pull on their ear.” He winks at you and you smirk back, playing into his needful childishness.
“This is not the dark ages, Mr. Thomas.” You tease, taking your loaded tray to the bar counter and speaking over your shoulder. “We do not arrange marriages anymore.” The fisherman jeers and Mallory kicks him under the table. You return to them quickly, bringing with you a wet cloth and a glass of water requested by the woman. She presses it to Thomas’ face and commands him to sober up.
“Then how else are we supposed to get you hitched?” Thomas continues, paying no heed to the violent death stares of the woman sat across from him. Mallory kicks him again and he nearly spills his drink from the movement. You grin at the two of them, stepping back from the freshly wiped table with your arms folded over your chest.
“People don't need to be with others to be happy. I am perfectly content with myself as company.” You announce with your nose pointed in the air. “And you, as occasional annoyances.” The man chokes on his drink and Mallory snorts at your comment. You decide to continue playing along, matching their extended friendliness with your own enthusiasm.
“Y’know, I always thought it a vile rumor that fishermen were mad people.” You joke, taking the cloth and wringing it out before throwing it over your shoulder. “Nothing to do all day but sit in boats and think. But with every word you speak, my dear Thomas, I begin to believe that the rumor has some truth behind it." This arouses a snicker from the woman farmer and she shakes her head in amusement over you and disappointment for her friend. Thomas whines a noise that does not sound like any language you would know and Mallory leans forward.
"Finish your drink, my friend. I will see you home tonight." She urges the glass of water to his attention. "I cannot bear to watch you be torn apart any longer." Thomas darts his eyes between Mallory and you, his mouth opening and closing wordlessly like a fish out of water. You smugly smile at him, charming with all the beauty and grace of a snake. After a moment he relents, slumping down into his seat with a defeated huff, the water glass in hand.
“I swear, that mouth of yours,” Thomas moans into his glass weakly as if greatly wounded on a battlefield, “It is more vicious than any beast I’ve come across. Godspeed to anyone who dares to try to face such a monster.” At his last comment, you exhale loudly through your nose and shake your head dismissively. With one final look from Mallory, you leave the two late-evening patrons to finish their drinks and return to your work behind the bar.
The mood in the bar is somewhat lighter now and your hands worked at an easier pace with your mind quietly wondering over Thomas’ words. This was not the first time you had been scolded over your sharp words and you were sure it would not be your last. Conversation was your master and you were always one quick with your words, whether that be for the better or worse. Over the sound of you wiping down plates and glasses with a cloth, you could hear Thomas and Mallory talking faintly, the wind whispering outside your walls, and the gentle nothing of the world beyond. It was a peaceful evening, much more so now that you had dealt with your rowdy patron and the thoughts that curled like rats in a drowning cage. Though his comments were unnecessary, you thank Thomas for his distraction and for his unwitting lifting of your spirits. At least now you would be able to sleep soundly and with less of a worried mind.
Suddenly, a knock at the front door. Curious, unsure if it had even happened, you cast your attention over to it. It was far too late for anyone wanting to pop in for a drink and even if it was you were sure to turn them away. But still; there was no denying that you had, in fact, heard something. Or someone. Wordlessly, you slip out from your bar and quickly stroll to the door, pulling it swiftly open to reveal a cold night and a strange visitor.
“Oh,” You mumble, blinking numbly like a star-struck owl. You shake your head and revive your best smile to be planted on your lips. “What a lovely surprise.”
Standing before you, Bloodhound tipped their helmet, specks of accumulated snow falling off in the process. “Good evening,” They respond formally.
“And to you.” You nod back, familiar shivers running up and down your spine as you stood under their gaze. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” You swoon, curling your words with over-exaggerated sweetness so as to hopefully hide your utter shock at their being here. They always seem to have a knack for popping back into your life when you least expected it. But now of all time, why?! You could hardly even look at them straight after what had happened not even the day before! Fresh embarrassment boiled in our stomach and you wanted nothing more but to go back into your quiet existence. This had to be some cruel dream from a most hateful deity, cursing you out for some horrible act you had unwittingly done. Why could they not just go back to being a figure on the T.V, an unknown? Why did they have to be here, standing before you, talking to you?!
“I vish to speak with you.” Bloodhound says, voice terribly low and near-emotionless. It caught you off guard slightly at how plain and devoid of anything they sounded, nothing at all like the passionate hunter you sat and drank with yesterday.
“My bar will be closed soon.” You explain after a moment of debating on what to say. A strong part of you begged for an excuse to say no, the refusal even gracing the tip of your tongue in eager desperation. But your hospitality overrode your anxiety and you stepped to the side to allow entry into your bar. “If you do not mind waiting a few minutes then you will have my undivided attention.”
Bloodhound considers your words, eyes darting between your face and the warm interior of the business. They too notice how your own words seem guarded this evening, jaded behind bars of entertainment and false care. You smiled, yes, but it was not genuine. Again, you reeked of fakeness and it irked them for some unknown reason. They hum their agreement and stride quickly inside. Upon their entrance, two faces turn to look at them.
You shuffle between Bloodhound and the skeptical table, closing the door and guiding your new patron over to the bar. They follow closely behind you and seat themselves on a red cushion stool. You resume your position as host and perform your duties accordingly, offering them something to drink while they wait. Bloodhound silently refused, only lifting their hand and shaking their head.
“I don’t think I mentioned it before,” You say, works trickling out like a spring in a dessert, soothing all worries with a trained presentation. “A while ago we had a fellow pass through our humble town who had a similar accent to yours. He was a swindler and tried to persuade me to purchase from him strange pickled meats and other strange things.” While you spoke, you resumed your wiping of the glasses and plates, talking over your shoulder as you worked in a most casual manner.
“Though everyone tried to steady my hand, he just was so compelling and I caved. And now I have, stored in the back for the foreseeable future, a bottle of the most potent alcohol anyone has ever seen.” Your face softens into a smile as you recall the memories of that night when a brave soul tried to drink from that poison. “Someone once tried and no one has since. Perhaps it is a drink you know?” You cock your question at Bloodhound, leaning over the bar table and grinning.
“Your intuition values you, but perhaps another night I can provide you an answer.” You take Bloodhound dismissal with grace and nod your head in swift acknowledgment. They were cold tonight, the very definition of stoic. Whatever they wanted to discuss with you, you could only hope would somehow be more lighthearted than this. From behind the hunter, movement erupts as the two patrons stand up.
“We are off, my dear Bar-Keep.” Thomas sings, waving a hand at you in an irritating manner. Mallory follows close as they make their way to the front door, her eyes practically burning holes into the raven stranger’s dead-straight back. She passes you a flash of a concerned look and you calm her down with a cool smile.
“Have a good night and a safe journey home.” You call after them, mildly glad that now your ears would know rest from the fisherman’s chanting. However, as his hands grace the front door’s handle, Thomas quickly spins on his heels and points towards you and your new arrival.
“Don’t you dare try anything with my Bar-keep!” Thomas threatens, standing with his hackles raised like a chihuahua to a bear, “If I hear that you have touched even a single hair, so help me I’ll-”
“Thomas.” Mallory punches the man's shoulder causing him to drop his ill-backed threat and wince in pain. Without a moment more, the farmer shoves the man out the door and the two disappear into the night with the door closely swiftly behind. You stare after them, the atmosphere suddenly seeming to shrink and grow cold as you become painfully aware of your aloneness with the hunter.
“They seem nice.” Bloodhound remarks and you are so stunned by their nonchalant attitude you nearly snort.
“It is a small town. Everyone here is like family.” You explain, turning to face those unreadable, immovable lenses. “Besides, I serve him beer. I get special privileges.” At this Bloodhound seems to stir and you feel slightly more room to breathe. Relax, it was just conversation. Don’t get carried away again and you will be fine.
The conversation halted, however, neither you nor Bloodhound knowing what next to say to break the forming ice that had started growing between you two. Though you wanted to know what exactly had compelled them to travel all the way to visit you on such an odd evening, you could tell that they were not ready to answer so instead you plucked random topics from the top of your head.
“Winter is moving slowly this year,” You begin, regaling the exact dialogue you had shared that afternoon prior with a patron and reusing it word for word, “No big snow storms as of yet. But that just means that towards the end of the season, Mother Nature will rear her true head and drive us all inside our houses.” You sigh and rest your elbow on the tables’ surface, your busy work of drying cutlery all finished and packed away. “Many people tell me, warn me in fact, that the late-season storms are the worst kinds. Impossible snow and hail and everything else to make the shit pie complete. And I thought the cold now is hard to handle. I have no idea how I’ll-”
“Stop that.” Bloodhound interrupts you harshly, their voice an almost growl as they sit behind their undecipherable armor. You are slightly taken aback by their outright force at the command, flashbacks to the first time you met them in all their rage reappearing in your mind. Bloodhound remains still, fists clenched over the table, shaking beneath the heavy red fabric gloves.
Though you cannot see, they squeeze their eyes shut in an effort to understand why, so suddenly, they were getting so worked up. Why were you just talking to them? So nonchalant and practiced - it felt as if talking to them was a chore. Some kind of business transaction or task that was only being done as a means to an end. But that is not what muddled Bloodhound’s mind, not your lack of genuine interaction, your quiet was not what drove them out of their house and to your bar this evening. What made them toil in confused agony, was why they even cared so much for your genuine company?
“What?” You murmur after a minute of stale silence, the wind picking up the rising atmosphere inside the bar and clawing at the windows to join in. The raven stranger does not respond right away, instead they fight with what words would be best used in this kind of delicate situation.
“Stop that.” They repeat their vague statement sternly, staring at you through their goggles with great intent, noticing any slight change in your features or body language. “Stop trying to sell me your company. I do not vant it.” At this you frown and straighten your back, confused beyond anything at what they could mean. You open your mouth to speak but Bloodhound stops you with a raised hand.
“You talk but there is no life. You smile but there is no light behind it. Do you think I am not worthy of your trueness? I have seen your true self but always you hide it. Do you think you are not worthy of enjoying yourself?” Utterly and so completely shocked at what was being said, you stood wordless with your face a mix between anger and bewilderment. Bloodhound watched you, eyes scanning up and down your form for any signs of egregious discontent. Why weren’t you speaking? Why weren’t you reacting in any way? Had their visit and accusations not even struck a nerve with you? You only stood there, placid and unwavering, like ice waiting for the sun to melt it.
“I have talked vith this free person, sat in silence vith them and felt þægilegt , calm. And I came here this evening because…” Bloodhound falters at this, unsure at what best to say when describing the reason they themselves still had no answer to. Why had they come here to bother you? Why had you not left their thoughts since yesterday, or even, since that afternoon on the grass? Why is it that when the world goes quiet and they stand still to listen, it is you who looms in the corner of their vision, beckoning for them to find you? In such a short time of meeting, somehow you had trapped them in some unforeseen and unbreakable cage - an ever-present urge to lean in more, to seek you out. But why, exactly, it was you of all people who had proclaimed that spot of interest, was a mystery that the Allfather cruelly hid from them.
“Vhat is it you vant from me?” Bloodhound lowly asks, their tone hollow and their demeanor stone-cold. Perhaps that was the reason for their spontaneous visit - to search for an answer themselves. To find out if maybe you felt at all the same way they did.
“Nothing.” The words leak from your lips like a whisper yet hold the strength and bite of a scream. Devoid of all anger, hostility, confusion, and regret, you gaze back at the raven stranger, “What ever could I possibly want from you?” And there it was - their answer.
“Now if that is all you came to ask me, then I must now say good night.” You motion with your attention towards the door, still shell-shocked over what had just transpired. Why are they so angry towards you? So taken aback by, what you were sure to be, great and comforting hospitality? This was the reason you had so ardently avoided opening yourself up to people, allowing yourself to talk unchecked often leads to situations where people get angry. And now Bloodhound was angry and you were sure you could never fix it.
The raven stranger slowly rises from their seat, tipping their helmet in a stiff manner before silently making their way over to the front door. This is how it will be, forever. You made a mistake, let your mouth have free rein over your conversations, and brought ruin to a person that made your chest ache. And as you watched them slip away into the snowy night, the only thing you can say was, “Have a safe journey home.”
28 notes · View notes
c0rncheez · 26 days ago
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Feat ~ Yuji, Megumi, Gojo, and Nanami
Summary ~ When they overhear you talking to your friend/s about faking an orgasm…
Cw ~ NSFW 18+, Some Crack, Some fluff, 3rd Year! Yuji & Megumi, Sub Fem! Reader, Kinda Long, Face Sitting, Established Relationships, Aggressive Megumi, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Squirting, Exhibition?, Gojo’s has a lil angst, Soft Morning Sex + Praise, Nanami Favoritism, Just Nanami being the love my life and the most perfect man ever
A/n ~ I feel like I wrote the Gojo one so bad 💀 omg pls let me know what y’all think!
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⭒ You and Nobara were just having your daily girl talk, till the conversation went to your sex life
⭒ You and Yuji had been together since 1st year and recently became sexually active
⭒ The sex was great (let em know) but he wanted to fuck literally every second of every day💀
⭒ You’re definitely sure you’ve acquired a permanent limp (Queue Nobara laughing her ass off)
⭒ “But last night I pretended to orgasm and I feel so bad about it,” You confided without knowing who was coming up behind you
⭒ Little did you know Yuji spotted you across the courtyard and ran over to greet you (bestie stop ✋🏽)
⭒ “Wait, what??”
⭒ He literally hesitated to give you a hug!! He looked like a kicked puppy :(
⭒ Nobara decided to excuse herself lmao (she started this convo - COME BACK HOE)
⭒ He turned you around by your shoulders, “ Is that true Y/n?” He asked seriously (oh the duality)
⭒ “ Babe! It’s not that it doesn’t feel good-“
⭒ “ Answer the questions, Y/n”
⭒ You averted your attention to the ground, “ Y-yes”
⭒ Once y’all get there and he closed his door, you started trying to explain yourself
⭒ “Yuji, I was really tired-“
⭒ “Are you tired right now?” He asks as he casually takes off his top
⭒ “ N-no”
⭒ You watched as he literally laid on the bed before pointing to his mouth 👄
⭒ “Come sit here then, lemme check somethin’.”
⭒ SIR 😭✋🏽
⭒ Literally made you cum on his face all day, y’all didn’t even HAVE sex, it was just all about you bb (AHEM sukuna might’ve helped out- 👀)
⭒ Before you knocked tf out he kissed your forehead
⭒ “Next time just tell me you’re tired baby.”
⭒ Pls, makes sure to say he loved you before cuddling and falling asleep together (brb cryin rn, lucky bitch)
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⭒ Again the convo was spurred on by Nobara HAHAHA but Maki was there as well (also Panda and Inumaki)
⭒ You actually were being kinda distant with Megs because you couldn’t look him in the face after faking the big “O” a couple days prior
⭒ And he noticed your distance, but instead of asking what was wrong he listened in on the group convo from a distance (no one noticed him)
⭒ “ Did you and Megumi have an argument or something?” Nobara asked (everyone was sitting in a circle on the training grounds)
⭒ “ Yeah, you guys seem distant,” Maki added
⭒ “ Salmon, salmon”
⭒ Not you feeling attacked LMAO 👄
⭒ “ It’ wasn’t an argument but,” you hesitated,” It’s kinda sex r-related… though”
⭒ Megumi legit made the face in the pic above ^
⭒ He thought he was pleasing you the way you wanted? Did he have an off day or something?? Also why couldn’t you have this talk with him instead? (He was literally wracking his brain trying to understand)
⭒ “ He was having a hard time um, hitting THAT spot,” you buried your head in your hands,” So I kinda faked a you know what before he could get frustrated…”
⭒ Now, what really pissed Megs off was not only did you expose your shared sex life with friends but the fact that they made a complete JOKE out of him
⭒ “Aww Megumi’s still a little baby” Maki cried.
⭒ Everyone were making little digs about him as if he couldn’t fuck you right, you honestly regretted saying anything to them now but it was too late
⭒ Megumi was LIVID, he texted you “come to my room right fucking now” before storming off (ya done goofed y/n)
⭒ The text definitely caught you off guard but you quickly excused yourself from the group to check on him
⭒ When you finally got there his door was already open, “Megumi, are you ok-“
⭒ “Get on the fucking bed” (THE DIFFERENCE FROM HIM AND YUJI LMAO)
⭒ You scurried in forgetting to close the door, “Megumi, did I do-“
⭒ “ I don’t want to hear that fucking question out of your mouth”
⭒ *pikachu face*
⭒ “ D-did you hear-“
⭒ He glared at you, “ you make a fool out of me? Loud and clear Y/n”
⭒ “Meg-“
⭒ “I told you to get on the fucking bed” he grunted as he pushed you down ( my couchie 💦)
⭒ When I tell you he dipped his hands in your panties so quick
⭒ “ Now, what you’re gonna do is let everyone hear your pathetic moans” He declared already inserting two fingers inside you (you were already soaked)
⭒ Before you could even apologize he hooked his fingers up so aggressively against your g-spot, causing you to arch sharply into the bed
⭒ “ What could this be, Y/n?” He mocked in your ear before adding his thumb to your clit
⭒ ” You better earn my forgiveness, pet.” (This man has a dark side, runs in the fam 🏃‍♀️)
⭒ When I tell you he had you screaming and squirting till you ruined your underwear (and his sheets)
⭒ Anyone who passed by that hall could hear everything from your wet pussy sounds to you sobbing for forgiveness and confessing how much you loved him
⭒ Don’t even get me started when he finally decided to fuck you ✨✨ (tell me why sukuna was so proud HAHA) (domain expansion on that puthy-)
⭒ Let’s just say that Nobara, Maki, Panda, and Inumaki were real quiet the next day 🥴
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⭒ I could see you both having makeup sex after an small argument but you were still pissed specifically at his smart mouth
⭒ He would say things in your ear like “ Miss dramatic” or “ See, there was no problem” or “If you wanted makeup sex just say so, baby” between thrusts as if that was what you wanted to hear (sir 😭 read the room)
⭒ You literally fake orgasmed and then rolled over and went to sleep after he finished, see what he’s not gonna do is act all cocky and play down you being legitimately upset
⭒ He felt the tension but he thought you were just being extra so he left it alone and went to sleep too (tried to cuddle but you shrugged him off)
⭒ Gojo didn’t like to go to bed mad, and he also was the type of person who would wake up the next day and expected everyone else to be over any issues from the previous day
⭒ So when he noticed the next day that you still weren’t back to normal he was perplexed, but still kissed your forehead with a, “love you, I’m off” before heading to work
⭒ If Gojo wasn’t upset then it’s almost as if nobody else possibly could be either, once he’s moved on from a situation he expects the same for everyone else (which is ✨unrealistic✨)
⭒ When it was time to head home in the afternoon he made sure to pick up your favorite food as always
⭒ He may laugh and make light of most situations but he did love you more than anything and wanted you happy (but he still hadnt realized that it was his fresh mouth that started all this in the first place)
⭒ So IMAGINE his shock when he came through the door and heard you on the phone saying you faked your orgasm to a friend 👁 (and with attitude too)
⭒ Mans was buffering at the door
⭒ Instant denial, He cannot believe nor accept that he couldn’t make you cum, he’s the best at everything, especially fucking you stupid
⭒ “Y/n, you can be mad all you want but you shouldn’t lie to your friends.”
⭒ THE AUDACITY and he said it with the straightest face too
⭒ “Girl I gotta go, bye”
⭒ He brought the food to the kitchen counter before continuing.
⭒ “ So, why are you lying on my sex game Y/n? That’s petty”
⭒ Thisssss man is so irritating LMAO (don’t get it confused I love him still)
⭒ “ I wasn’t lying,” you sighed as you joined him in the kitchen, “ I don’t like when you make it seem as if I never have a right to be upset about anything you say or do.”
⭒ “… So how does that correlate to you “faking” an orgasm?” He chuckled. Still couldn’t believe you.
⭒ You don’t know if it was the fact that he still didn’t believe you, or that he laughed but you started sniffling (aww bb)
⭒ “ Y/nnnn, whats wrong?” He leaned down to your level with his large hand on top of your head,” You’re not pregnant, are you?”
⭒ I- 😭 nanami come get him before I do
⭒ “ NO, I’m not fucking pregnant you asshole!” You brushed his hand off your head,” When you talk down to me like a baby, when you say things like “Miss dramatic” or “see, there was no problem” it invalidates my feelings! I was actually mad yesterday but you completely disregarded that possibility. So YES I faked an orgasm because I didn’t want to bother with you in that MOMENT!”
⭒ … well you totally exploded
⭒ It was eerily silent, the only sound being your heavy breathing
⭒ Gojo slowly bent back up to his full height, not before wiping your stray tear with his thumb
⭒ He sighed before pulling you into his chest
⭒ “… Listen baby,” he paused before continuing, “ I’m sorry for making you feel like that, alright?”
⭒ He leaned down to kiss your forehead, “ It was never my intent to upset you to the point of feeling the need to fake your pleasure, you know I love you right?”
⭒ You remained silent trying not to completely combust into tears
⭒ “Y/n”
⭒ “Y-yes, I know… and I love you too”
⭒ The rest of the evening was spent cuddling and talking as you guys ate the food he brought home
⭒ There were a lot of pent of emotions and you both needed to work on your communication
⭒ Gojo was now more aware of how his word choice could really affect you and promised to do better
⭒ You also promised to come straight to him whenever you had an issue instead of bottling it up
⭒ Y’all didn’t have sex that night, but the next morning he softly made love to you, constantly whispering praises in your ear till he was late for work 💓
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⭒ So thanks for reading! Pls comment which was your fav✨
⭒ Ok I’m kidding (I’m not) but let me try anyways
⭒ Um (not me scratching my head rn), okay I got something
⭒ Nanami is a very dutiful and loyal husband
⭒ His only priority is making sure you are 100% taken care of
⭒ So this leads into him literally fucking you everyday after 8:30 pm 😭, he kinda subconsciously does everything on an internal clock
⭒ Doesn’t matter if he is tired, hungry, or sick, he is fulfilling his duty of making sure you get a preview of heaven’s gates every night 😌
⭒ It’s very sweet at it’s core but sometimes it felt like it was a chore for him and it kinda made you unsure of yourself
⭒ You want to know that he was doing you because he wanted to, not because he had to
⭒ It probably all came to a head one day when he was drilling your shit at exactly 8:53 pm
⭒ It was amazing, wonderful, mind shattering...
⭒ Till you noticed the occasional cough
⭒ He wasn’t letting up on his thrusts though, but you started to worry about his cough
⭒ So you faked an orgasm because you didn’t want him to strain himself anymore
⭒ And guess what?? The next day he had to stay home from work because he was fucking sick
⭒ Being the best wife ever of course you took care of him, and gave him soup, medicine, and changed his towels
⭒ He looked like he wanted to say something to you the whole time but nothing ever came up though
⭒ When he was taking a nap some time in the afternoon you called your friend to pass some time
⭒ An innocent phone call turned into a whole vent session
⭒ You expressed that you should’ve noticed Nanami wasn’t feeling well the second he came home
⭒ You felt horrible knowing that he exerted his energy like that just for you and now he was sick
⭒ You honestly just spilled everything to them not knowing that Nanami was very much awake and listening
⭒ “ When I heard him coughing I faked my orgasm so he could rest,” you said quietly,” I don’t want him to force himself for-“
⭒ “Y/n, come here”
⭒ You literally squeaked when you heard him lmao (caught in 4k 📸)
⭒ You quickly hung up your phone (didn’t even say bye) and shuffled to your shared bedroom
⭒ “Baby, I-“
⭒ “Look at me”
⭒ You looked up at him as you sat on the bed
⭒ “ Nanami-“
⭒ “ I don’t make love to you every day because I have to Y/n,” he stopped to cough (the only man that can interrupt me 🥴)
⭒ “ I do it because you’re all I think about during my day, you’re all I dream about at night. I don’t do it because it’s my duty I do it because I desperately yearn for you, Y/n. Every. Single. Day”
⭒ You felt you chest heat up as he gazed intensely at you and your figure before he chuckled
⭒ “What man in his right mind would ever need to be “forced” to sleep with you?”
⭒ At this point you couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore
⭒ “Uh l-let me change your towel~aH!”
⭒ He expertly pinned you beneath him, his eyes playful as he began trailing hot kisses down your neck.
⭒ “Nanami! Your sick, let me up you need to rest” You weakly pressed against his chest
⭒ “ Hey Y/n” he trailed the wet kisses back up to your ear before smirking
⭒ “ You think I don’t know how it feels when you really cum?”
⭒ (😭✋🏽 not me getting giddy right now)
⭒ “ Y-you knew already?!,” you really couldn’t handle all the embarrassment, “ Why didn’t you say anything?”
⭒ He leaned up to pull off his shirt, “ I knew you meant well… I didn’t mind seeing you fuss over me for a bit”
⭒ Before you could even retort he covered your lips with his, hands already pulling down your underwear
⭒ Any resolve you had left was long gone as you softly moaned against him
⭒ “ Look Y/n” he mumbled guiding your hand to his heavy erection
⭒ “ This …is what you do to me”
⭒ “ So take accountability”
⭒ HA good luck walking tomorrow and ps. Your ass got sick too LMAOOO
⭒ No fr Nanami may be the more quiet type but he’s still a beast, so don’t worry about him too much bb :*
⭒ Worry about your cervix ^_−☆
A/n ~ This was so long lmaooo, idk why but I’m nervous if this was any good but again, thanks for reading
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noizi · 26 days ago
life update 
it’s been a while... i don’t know how many people will see this or will scroll by but if you do, howdy. hope you’ve been in good health and that you’re somewhere safe
july 2020 i think is when i really decided i wanted change in my life haha... i was at a job i loved (it gave me a lot of time to do w/e i wanted, i was busy on like, 2 days out of the work week, and i got to work for a good cause) but the people i worked with, namely my boss, were not really... leader types. eventually i felt the brunt of the work being pushed on me and it wasn’t until a talked with a friend i hadn’t hung out with in a while, that i realized. she just kinda said it straight out and i was like. OH......................... 
anyways... in the coming weeks, i was desperately looking for something else... maybe somewhere else. i also tried convincing myself that i could deal with her and her absences (i would get calls for her that only she could answer and i would have to say ‘she’s not here’ or tell them she just left...) but uh, not a good feeling to have to make excuses for your own boss lol...... but um
anyways, i enrolled in a LPN course ! 
idk it felt like a saving grace... 
i didn’t even think i’d get in bc it was a while before i heard back. but i got in ! i submitted my 2 weeks notice, and 3 weeks later (i used last of my vacation heh) i was sitting in class...
fast forward to mid-march and i started my 13 week practicum *______* ,,, can’t believe i’ve made it this far
because of the pandemic, we weren’t able to do our practicum at the hospital but that was okay because our teacher said we only do phlebotomy/pharmaco/other stuff next year and the first year is just like. geriatric and long term care. 
so i then ended up at a nursing home. was really surprised my first day. first week even. didn’t expect the inside of the home to look like that, it felt almost like a facility haha.... and then came the work and hooh... let me tell ya, i worked up a sweat ! 
i’ve learned a lot though ! i learned a lot about myself, and so so much on the job. like wow, that nursing persona just popped right out there. i’m kind of amazed at myself... i really didn’t think i’d be well suited for this yknow. like wow, me, a nurse lmaooo and to think i want to become a RN now? maybe even NP? who knows ! i feel like the world has suddenly just opened up and i can see smth in the distance.
despite the pandemic, i think the last year has been amazing for me. a lot of things are going so well for me ! like, cannot even believe... i’ve become so much closer with my family too ! i travelled a lot at the beginning of the year, when the pandemic first hit. i live in an area that’s far off from large epicenters and we’ve had very few cases so life has been. normal? kinda. our community has only had a handful of cases because of the strict mandates that were put into place (masks, social distancing, hand washing stations and the like) right at the beginning which i am very grateful for. 
but yeah travelling. just around the area, yknow? like, seeing what sites there are to be had and i’m really grateful for the opportunity. i would’ve never known what treasures there are around where i live ! waterfalls, trails and rivers galore ! beautiful seascape, old houses (thats one of my fav activities... just lookin at houses) 
we had over 2 months off at the beginning. full pay, then modified work hours so i had plenty of time to fill up. it was, really refreshing and idk i’m just really grateful...
but yeah other than school and now practicum, that’s all i’ve been doing ! the art department has been very slow haha ! and while i do want to draw more, i feel like the longer i go, the less i want to, yknow? i think i’m burnt out honestly... from practicum and homeworks, how to care for elderly with alzheimer’s/various situations of loss of autonomy (it’s heavy on the mind... including end of life care...)
i took care of an old lady, beginning of practicum. she was little more than a husk and was no longer aware of anything and she was near the cusp of palliative. i cared for her my first week and just last week, she finally passed the morning we were taking our beginning of shift report. that day, i felt someone brush the side of my head, as if combing through my hair, like i did to that one lady when i tried getting her to eat just a few bites of oatmeal. truly, special... 
i’ve met women in their 100s there, laughed with them and watched them play crosswords, their minds still sharp and then over a weekend, complications arised and they were gone when i was back monday. i met a lady who just turned 101 yesterday ! she told me her birthday her daughter was going to come pick her up and they were gonna eat dinner and she would see her grandchildren. she is very loved and yknow, i think i love her too. she is such a light.
i’ve met old men who used to ride horses and their atvs, who cannot understand why there are there in the home or don’t understand they cannot leave their wheelchairs (their legs are no longer strong as they once were). i’ve seen people who didn’t know who i was after i’d leave for a few minutes, or who’d forget conversations mid-sentence or would go into loops and circles, or every day they’d tell me the story of their father going off to war in germany. i’ve seen people who were inconsolably sad and would cry every day without warning and would repeat themselves. or those who thought they were wrongfully imprisoned. 
i feel like i’ve aged 10 yrs tbh especially hearing all the stories, and hearing the way even some of the staff behaved (truly, some should not be there oof) 
but yeah, i’m really glad for this experience. somehow, things are just right and i’m just really grateful to be here... anyways thank u if you made it this far. i just haven’t talked to many people in a while and twitter feels too fast sometimes. it feels even more like a void there than it does here. somehow, tumblr just feels cozier
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1995lahaine · a month ago
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unfortunately this is a desktop screenshot bc i cannot type this out on phone rn i cannot. but OKAY. as established: inej gives the knife back, for a final time, and she is gone. everything is gone. inej is gone, too. the child she was is dead the ghost she became is dead the worshipper the holy knight inej is is dead too, now. she is gone because alina is gone. she finds herself holding her, cradling her, though she knows it is nothing to alina now. everything feels unreal. and for the first time in perhaps her entire life, something new awakens within inej: something that wants to own, to hold, to stop others from having. the saint was her saint. alina was hers. nobody survived this final act but inej (she did not survive though, not really). it is hers to hold and carry forever. and alina was hers is hers will always be hers.
and she cannot bear that she was the last one to give the knife. she cannot bear that it did not come full circle. she cannot bear that this is what it is and always was going to be. inej thought she had been prepared. she was not. how could she have been? how could anyone? how could she have ever believed she could walk out of here alive without alina? before she knows it her hands are moving, desecrating again. she killed her. what is one more thing to take? what is one bone to her now? saints bones are holy, they are filled with power, they are precious. she needs one. she needs one single part of alina that will sit in her hand forever. what a violent, monstrous end. what a violation. inej has learned to love violations.
she would have liked this, inej thinks. those monster-saints they were would do a thing like this. they would have taken every bone and built a city from them, a world in their own image. she pulls a bone from her and she vomits with the feeling. and then she smiles. her hand was alina’s, alina’s body was hers. it will forever be hers. it is a perfect fit. it hums in her hand with something awful and something beautiful. she gave it back, she thinks once the blade is sewn on. the handle is the colour her hair had been. she gave you a knife, in the end, after all.
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ramzawrites · a month ago
Hey, so I'm having a really rough time rn (dealing with bs from my friend group, we have to take my really old dog to the vet today bc we found blood in her pee and we're scared that she won't make it this time, I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just kinda goin thru it rn ig) so I would love a comfort fic with the sbi maybe with the reader as their sibling where the reader is the one that always comforts the fam, but hides their emotions until (1/2, very sorry about splitting it)
(2/2) something happens that makes the reader have a full on breakdown? I'll leave the rest to you, it can be a good or bad ending, headcanons or one shots, anything. You can ignore this request if you want/if it makes you uncomfortable. Please don't feel pressured/guilt tripped to write anything from this, your mental health comes first and I'm sure you're already really busy. Reminder to eat something today if you haven't yet and get a drink of water <3
We are family - Reader and SBI!Brothers
Pairings: none
Characters included: Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, (mentioned) Niki, (mentioned) Schlatt
Warnings: n/a
Series: a request <3
Summary: Y/N came back from an errand and surprises their brothers with their weird behavior. Trying to put on their usual smile, trying to hide away their real emotions but their brothers know them better than they inititally suspected. They could immediately tell that something must have happened.
Words count: 2060
Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long! I hope you and your dog are doing better! 💙 I wish I could give you more than words of encouragement and that I managed to get faster to this request, I apologize Please make sure to take care of yourself, alright? Take time for yourself to deal with the stress and anxiety! Make sure to stay hydrated and remember to eat! Even if it’s just something small!
Once again I apologize for the long wait, I felt really bad already and then I kinda put it off because I felt bad.
adhd hit hard again and haven’t checked for typos yet, but will get on it as soon as I can o7
On another note if you want to read another comfort fic; I have a small series called “A Painful Reminder” which is more angsty but the 2nd part is more about the comfort, if that is something for you 
Living in the SMP was chaotic, turbulent and at times downright painful.
Most people tended to gravitate to one cause or other people to deal with this. Holding on to something so they don’t get pulled under. Get buried beneath the chaos and the violence.
So having people like Y/N around was like a godsend. They were one of the few people that seemed to be able to withstand the constant waves of misfortune and stand strong. Be the rock to hold onto when everything got too overwhelming.
Wilbur, Technoblade and Tommy loved their sibling for it.
After Wilbur and Tommy got exiled with Y/N out of L’Manberg, they were there and cheered both of their siblings up. Immediately making plans on how to set up a safe home and collecting ideas on how to get back. They were the one who managed to get a message out to Technoblade and asked him to visit them. Maybe help them.
Wilbur often jokingly said that Y/N was the glue that held the family together, to which they would always reply with the warmest of smiles “I’m glad.”
And what he said was true. Whenever the family fell on hard times and they began to drift apart it was Y/N who pulled all of them back. Pulling them back to reality and giving solutions for their problems if needed.
Sitting down with Wilbur when things got to much. Listening to his thoughts and worries, letting his emotion run freely without judgement. While they looked worried for him, their comforting smile never faltered. Offering him solutions to problems if he wanted it, otherwise they gave him the chance to just air his own thoughts out. To be angry with him. Sad with him.
Working with Tommy on his own projects. Listening to his ideas and giving him a different perspective that could improve some things but also respecting it when Tommy wanted to do this his way. And while he liked to brag and pretend that some things didn’t hit him that hard, they were still patiently listening to him as he spoke about his own pain in a more roundabout way. Telling him that he was not alone and making him feel heard.
Talking to Technoblade whenever the voices got too loud or out of hand again. He would just walk over to them and nudge them away, asking them to talk about something, no matter what. He just needed to hear their voice and be able to concentrate on it. Tune out the garbled voices in his head with a familiar sound that calmed him down no matter what. Leaning against them, slowly falling asleep as Y/N told all about how they were happily working on their own farm and what shenanigans they got up to.
Y/N really was like the warm sun on a cold day. Warming them up and protecting them.
Yes, Y/N was strong. So strong that even Technoblade considered them stronger than him. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally.
A clanging of metal rung through the cave. Techno was training with Wilbur while Tommy was just watching. Cheering on Techno.
It wasn’t an unusual situation and something Y/N expected to see as they made their way down the staircase. Wilbur in full iron armor and weapon while Techno just fought back with his own iron sword.
“Hey, Y/N! Welcome back!” Wilbur breathed out. Sweat running down the side of his face as he stopped attacking his brother.
The three men looked happily over to their sibling who slowly walked towards them but soon their expressions fell. Something was off about Y/N and it confused the three.
Their smile was as always plastered on their face but it looked strained. Their eyes wide open, trying to look sincere and loving but the glassy look of them gave off a different picture.
“Y/N? You okay?” Tommy asked as he stood up from the ground. Taking a step closer to them which made them in return stop in their tracks.
Y/N was hugging themself, shakily opening up their mouth to answer but nothing came out. It was then when Techno got very aware of how they were shaking in general.
This all seemed so wrong. This shouldn’t be possible. It just didn’t seem to register fully inside their minds.
Wilbur made sure to get rid off his sword and armor as fast as he could, walking over to his sibling, trying to get a better look at them but they just avoided his gaze.
Staring at the ground, slowly shaking their head “It’s- It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“You aren’t. You really aren’t. What happened? Did they find you?” Techno asked, his voice full with worry. A bit of anger hidden as well.
Y/N had their own little farm in order to support Pogtopia. The potatoes from Techno were great but variety is important after all. Though they also had an abundance of wheat they usually tried to smuggle into Manberg for Niki. Trying to help her out as much as possible with her taxes and work.
This time Y/N nodded “They did… It’s fine though. I’m fine. I’m not hurt. It’s all good.”
Wilbur’s frown deepened “Usually when people have to be so adamant about being okay something isn’t alright.”
Tommy nodded, supporting his statement only to whisper to himself “Adamant? What does-“
But Wilbur continued “We are your family, talk to us.”
Y/N licked their chapped lips “I’m-“
The tears finally escaped their eyes and begun streaming down their face. Sobbing they fell down on the ground. Wilbur immediately followed suit, laying his arm around them and pulling them against his chest. His hand flew up to their head and begun going through their hair, trying to calm them down. Humming a soft tune from their childhood.
It was the first time in their lives they saw Y/N break down like that and it was quite frankly shocking.
Unsure what to do with himself Tommy squatted down “Um, uh, what- what happened?”
Techno was still gripping the iron sword in his hand. Pacing up and down. Manberg found them? What the hell did they do to make Y/N break down like that? His own sibling! Whatever it was he would make sure to pay it back a thousand times over.
“Tommy can you grab them some water?” Wilbur laid his chin on top of Y/N’s head, rubbing circles now on their back.
He didn’t even hesitate, jumping up to run towards one of the chests with food items that Y/N had always ready for them. Grabbing a water bottle and running back over. Happy that he could do something else besides staring.
Tommy then pushed the bottle towards Y/N who gratefully took it, putting some space between them and Wilbur as they drank some of the cold liquid which helped them to calm down.
“You ready to tell us what happened?” Techno stopped pacing around. His gaze purely trained on his crying sibling. Anger still rising in him just like the voices.
Screaming things like “Technosib! How dare they hurt them! Protect them! I love Y/N so much! Why would anyone hurt Y/N! They always help us! Let’s help them for a change! Technosib! Let’s go out and fight them! Yeah! Blood for the Blood God and Y/N!”
Y/N’s voice was still wavering and a bit scratchy from their sobbing as they begun speaking “Hey, hey! Techno don’t concentrate on the voices. Listen to me. It’s all good.”
This somehow made Techno angry. He threw the sword away and finally knelt down next to them as well so his face was on the same eye level as theirs “Stop. Please. Stop thinking about us for one second. Stop trying to not make us uncomfortable or worried! Tell us what happened! Please.”
He was basically begging at the last part. All his worry packed into it.
“Yeah, honestly you trying to make sure everything is okay for us makes us even more worried.” It surprised the others a bit that this came from Tommy but he was correct.
Tears fell down their face again “I- I was just delivering more wheat to Niki and someone must have followed me. They followed me back to my farm and- and- they burned my fields down. There were explosions. I- it was just my farm. I did not harm. Just, why does it always have to end like this. Why do all the good things always end like this. Why can’t this place let something be. There is always something.”
The farm was so important to Y/N. It was their little project they put so much sweat, love and work into. It was their home away from home. A place to retreat and enjoy some peace. This obviously was devastating. It was their one thing they had for themself. The one thing that wasn’t there for anyone else but them.
It was also clear that this seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and it broke the three a bit that they only now seemed to notice this. That it took that long and their whole farm being destroyed for the realize this was heartbreaking.
“Who?” Techno urged but Y/N shook their head.
“I don’t know. Everything went so fast and I tried to save as much as I could but- but it’s all gone. It’s all gone.” Their voice jumped up an octave at the end, burying their face against Wilbur’s shoulder again. Silently sobbing.
It should have been impossible but Wilbur’s frown deepened and his expression turned more grim “Don’t worry. We will get back at them. We will get our revenge. They will see firsthand what they did to you, I promise.”
Shocked Y/N looked up, their red and puffy eyes wide open “Wil, that’s not what I- no revenge. There is already too much misery going around I just want this to stop. I just want all of us being able to live in peace.”
Wilbur should have known that Y/N was too good natured for that but he couldn’t help himself. He was just so angry. Angry at Schlatt and Manberg. That they went for him was one thing but to go out of their way to treat Y/N like this? Let’s just say he put it on the list in bold letters with reasonings on why he will get back at the Manberg faction.
“Listen Y/N.” Techno begun, his voice now calm again “Stop it. Just for once think about yourself. Stop thinking about others for once. You are also worthy of the same care you give us. Let us at least help rebuild your farm. You always help us with our projects, let us help you with yours.”
Tommy seemed to lit up at that “That sounds like a good idea! We could build towers around your new farm and make sure no one gets in! We could put down traps and all!”
He really wasn’t sure how to react but that was at least something he could do for them. As the past General’s right hand man, this should be something he can do. If he couldn’t protect his sibling how could he ever hope to get L’Manberg back.
Wilbur seemed to think about it for a bit but agreed “Yeah, how does that sound?” Though the dark glint in his eyes stayed. The cogs in head still running off with his own thoughts.
“You guys would? Since when can you guys build?” a dry laugh escaped them but it was a laugh nonetheless.
Both Tommy and Wilbur looked almost appalled at that claim while Techno just shrugged and nodded. Just looking around Pogtopia was more functioning than good looking after all. Y/N tried to pretty it up a bit but usually something always happened around here.
“Also Y/N, please talk to us more. Don’t bottle everything up. Please. We worry a lot about you and we love you. You always do so much for us, let us do the same.” Wilbur pushed Y/N a bit off of him and looked them deep into their eyes, hoping that this would really hammer in that this was a genuine plea.
As a respone Y/N wiped the tears off their face “I understand. I’ll try to remember that.”
“Don’t try just do it.”
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helliontherapscallion · a month ago
Highlights from the google forms thing I sent out a bit ago
Here are some of the highlights from the google forms thing I sent out :D
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The German alligator in my closet is very valid
Aquarius at 16.4% (aw hell yeah)
Libra at 10%
Pisces, Leo, and Virgo tied at 9%
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Intriguiging (I do not know how to spell but I’m also too lazy rn to google spellings)
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I’m vv happy Lucius is getting some love :D He’s gonna get some lore REAL soon
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Very valid, very happy Arthur didn’t get any votes
died and came back as a cowboy, call that reintarnation
Roses are red, walls are made of plaster, the children are fast, but big bird is faster
nurses/doctors who take ur blood in hospitals are really just haemogoblins
What do you call a skeleton having fun at a party? An osetoblast
Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it
What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
Dark humor is just like food. Not everyone gets it.
The average amount of 5 year olds that could be taken in a fight before one was overtaken was about 7-15, here are some of my favorite responses (might do a little ‘what would the DSMP do if they had to fight 5 year olds’ post thing based on the responses):
Probably like around say 5-7 because I can punch children well it’s just I don’t have a lot of stamina.
About 30-ish? I have the heaight and weight on the little gremlins, and my legs are really strong. I think realistically I'll be able to punt quite a few before they overcome me and Ill have to use my hands.
One limb
At least 7. I’ve worked as a camp CIT, Junior Counselor and So enough a full time Counselor and I’ve fought many 5 year olds. They can all go down in seconds when you get thin in the ankles, bonus if you bite them, intimidates the weak ones
~15. im tall, nimble, and hate children. they simply stand no chance. birds, however, are a different story.
at least 3. emotionally i couldnt do it unless it was a Bad day or they pissed me off just right but if theyre coming at me with a knife, sleep well little sarah your parents are about to blow a few thousand on your child sized funeral. physica5lly i also couldnt cause small arms unless i get the leverage to stomp but dear god the Sounds. yeah no. itd be hard to be 100% accurate without an actual trial run in my opinion though so lets get started on some Realistic androids for me to beat the shit out of. :)
2, deadass built like a baked bean
Just checked, 3
10. they will instinctively crowd around me to create a force field of toddlers that they think I cannot escape. boy are they wrong. I will lunge at one, taking it down with an uppercut, and take it by it's feeble little arms to swing around like a helicopter, toppling down the other five year olds lined up like a dominoes circle. yes, I have thought this out before. this is one of many ways I will win.
No one can survive being on fire
The question is: would I also have to take their parents?
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I appreciate the honesty, besties :D (and nice! That’s the funny number)
Ranboo at 19%
Technoblade at 15.5%
Tubbo and Tommy at 7%
Philza and Vilbur at 6% (Vilbur kinnies,,, are yall ok???)
Eret, Karl, and Wilbur at 5%
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Found family at 41%
Enemies to lovers at 15%
Friends to lovers at 9%
Friends to enemies to lovers at 7.5%
Fake dating at 6%
Soulmate AU at 24.5%
God AU at 14.5%
Mafia AU at 11.6%
Apocalypse AU at 10%
High school AU at 9%
Thank you all for participating in the quiz! I really liked reading all the responses <3
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omegaken-stan · a month ago
Part: 5
Pairings: Matt Jackson x ofc
“Nick?” Nat asked, his hands were in his pockets and he was bouncing on his heels. “Hey sorry I just wanted to apologize for earlier” he said sheepishly. She gave him a sad smile and let him in “it’s not your fault” he nodded sitting on the couch. “You okay?” He asked. Nat sat next to him “yeah fine” she nodded. “Can I ask you something?” She said.
“Of course” he looked at her “is Matt embarrassed of me?” She asked him. “What? Why would you think that?” Nick shook his head. “N-never mind” she said wiping her hands on her shirt “listen Nat idk what happened before I came but I know he really likes you” he told her. She nodded giving him a tight smile.
It was now a few weeks later and no missed calls or messages from Matt. Nat was back home in Texas, that day Matt left she didn’t see him again. It was Tuesday she was packing her stuff to fly out to Jacksonville, she was putting her shoes in when she heard her phone ring.
It was a message from Nick asking how she was doing. Within the week she got closer to him texting and calling he really wanted her and Matt to work things out. Nat messaged him back telling him she was packing and almost ready for her flight.
[you should come down to Cali for new years] she read. She froze did he really just invite her to their hometown? She bit her lip, she could use a distraction [sure] she replied.
After a couple hours Nat was finally on the plane to Jacksonville. She was on her phone scrolling on her Instagram when she seen a post Matt put of him and Nick with their book. She smiled liking it, then sighed locking her phone, leaning her head back she closed her eyes drifting off to sleep.
A couple hours later she arrived to the hotel checking in “hi” she heard someone whisper behind her. She squealed and turned to see Nick “what the hell jackson!” She exclaimed turning to him, he laughed “sorry didn’t mean to scare you” he leaned forward to hug her, she embraced him. Looking over his shoulder to see Matt frozen staring at her.
She froze pulling back slowly, he walked toward them about to say something when someone interrupted him. “Nat?” They all turned to see cash and Dax looking at them. “Uh hey” she said sheepishly. “Hi” he smiled softly. Matt felt his heart beating rapidly, there was that feeling again
“I didn’t hear from you all last week, everything okay?” He grabbed her shoulder and Matt’s eyes zeroed in on them. “Yeah fine i- I was just busy” she fake smiled. Dax looked to see Matt glaring at his best friend “that’s good, so listen how about we catch up... tonight maybe?” His hand massaging her arm up and down. That was all it took for Matt to snap
“She’s busy” he grabbed Nat’s hand and luggage pulling them to the elevator. They all stared at him in shock including her “what the hell Matt” she exclaimed as they walked into the elevator, he stayed quiet “I didn’t even get to check in” she protested. “Don’t bother” he whispered “what?” She looked at him “you’re staying with me” he said avoiding eye contact.
She scoffed “like hell I am, I could probably room with Britt” she walked out when the doors opened but he stopped her pulling her back in. He pressed stop on the elevator “I’m sorry... it seems like I always screw things up but I’m scared Natalie. I’m terrified of the feelings I have for you. And what everyone else will think of you and me together” he caged her in between his arms.
Her breathing was hard her eyes moving from his eyes to his lips “who cares what people say. I like you too Matt I really do, I promised myself I wouldn’t catch feelings for anyone I work with but my heart can’t help what it feels for you” she grabbed his hand. His eyes searched hers, he leaned in slowly kissing her gently. She moaned wrapping her arms around his neck they kissed passionately, until he pulled back.
“I hope you’re right, because people will talk” he said his lips just over hers. “Let them talk” she pulled him back in. Matt pressed the button to open the doors and pulled her to his room quickly opening it and pushing her against the wall kissing her passionately “I missed you” he said in between kisses.
Nat tugged his shirt “I’ve missed you, and this beard” she kissed all over his face. His shirt finally coming off, she kissed all over his chest Matt closed his eyes enjoying the feeling. Then tugged her shirt over her shoulders he admired her breasts. His hands roaming all over her body she was perfect exactly what he loves. She was curvy in all the right places, lips full breasts full he thought... she was a goddess.
He placed kisses on her neck moving down to the top of her breast and slowly sucking “ah”Nat moaned arching herself into him. He pulled back a smirk on his face “what?” She asked. “Oh nothing” he looked down at her breasts then tugged at her bra Strap. Pulling out her boob he tugged on her nipple causing her to let out a soft moan he bent down a bit and took her soft bud into his mouth sucking
“Fuck Matt” she gripped his hair. He pulled it off leaving her topless, massaging her other boob as he sucked and kissed the other one. Nat opened her eyes at the same time as the door opened, she screamed pushing Matt off “Jesus Christ” Nick shouted frozen staring at her. Matt turned to see Nick then back to quickly cover Nat with his shirt. “Knock much?” Matt snapped at him.
Nick broke out of his trance “It’s my room too” he said avoiding eye contact. “Sorry Nick, um I think I’ll go get my own room” she was walking away when Matt pulled her back “no it’s fine you’re staying with me- us” he corrected. She looked at him deciding not to fight with him she nodded. “Let me just set my breasts- I mean bag shit I meant bad down uh I’m going to the restroom” Nick practically ran to the bathroom.
Nat crossed her arms and leaned into Matt. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder kissing her forehead, she looked up at him “are you sure this is okay?” She whispered, he nodded “you’re my girl, of course” he smiled pecking her lips. Nat blinked “what?” He asked.
“Your girl?” She blushed. “Of course” he said “mm but you haven’t asked me” she kissed him softly. He looked at her blinking “you want to go on a date tonight?” He asked her. Nat smiled “I’d love too” she kissed him. Someone cleared their throat causing them to pull away.
“So uh sorry again” Nick said rubbing his back. They stared at him Nat avoiding eye contact, “enjoy the free show?” Matt smirked his arm around Nat, she elbowed him. “I’m sorry for intruding Nick, maybe I should get my own room?” She suggested. He shook his head “no it’s fine, I’m glad you guys made up” he smiled at her.
“So how are things with Emily” she sat on the bed while Matt fixed their clothes. Nick sat on his bed facing her “we haven’t spoken since that day” he smiled sadly. “Oh... I’m sorry Nick” she said. He shook his head “it’s not your fault, what she said was out of line” he told her. Matt nodded “way out of line” he crossed his arms.
They looked at him “should I talk to her?” Nat cringed when she said that regretting it instantly. “No it’s okay. She needs to apologize” they all nodded. Nick cleared his throat “so up coming match against shida how you feel?” He smiled at her. Matt frowned he never even heard about this “wait what I didn’t know you were going for the title?” He said Nat smiled “yeah not yet but soon Kenny talked to me the other day about it” she smiled softly “that’s great” he hugged her.
Nat was currently getting ready for her match, she was changed walking out to see the name on the board was changed to her and Emily’s name. “You gotta be kidding” she whispered. She felt a presence behind her, Emily was glaring at her “you did this” she spat, Nat scoffed “me?”
“Actually i did” they turned to see Kenny. “What the hell! Why?” Aria exclaimed. “Well I can only give one a title shot so might as well compete for the spot now... may the best women win” he walked off. They glared at each other aria stomping off “woah where you rushing too” Matt grabbed her by the hips.
“Kenny put me and nicks little
Girlfriend in a Match NEXT” she crossed her arms. Matt looked at Nick who was just as surprised as him “Emily in a match?” Nick questioned “yeah with me” she said “she never mentioned wanting to go for the title” Nat scoffed rolling her eyes “I got to go” she tried getting past Matt. “Hey... good luck” Matt kissed her softly.
Nat melted she felt way better now. They pulled away “mm thank you just the motivation I needed” she winked waking to the gorilla just as her music hit (reincarnate). She heard Emily’s as she was pacing in the ring , Nat didn’t want to admit how nervous she really was. Emily walked in glaring at her rn wh circled each other, “let’s go Nat” she turned to see Matt and Nick watching them matt had a big smile on his face while Nick looked worried.
She smiled turning only to be super kicked I’m the face “you think this would be easy princess” Emily smirked picking her up by the hair, Nat snapped out of it pushing her back and slapped her. They stared at each other Emily tackling her but Nat moved, it was now her turn to return the super kick. She heard Matt clap, she grabbed Emily by the hair running till her face hit the apron. She went for a cover but Emily kicked out Nat groaned, she grabbed her again but Emily got her pants and rolled her up thankfully Nat kicked out.
After a few minutes of them fighting Nat decided it was time to end it she was bored. Emily ran for a close line but Nat ducked grabbing her arm and wrapping her legs around her neck getting into her submission maneuver black
Widow. Emily screamed tapping on her thigh but Nat didn’t let go even when her music hit she squeezed tighter “Nat it’s over” she heard Aubrey yell. Nat finally let go Emily grabbing her arm in pain “ you were never a real threat just wanted to see what you had in you” Nat smirked walking off the ring and backstage.
Matt was waiting there for her but Nick rushed to her “the hell was that?” He told her. Nat took a step back “you mean me winning?” She crossed her arms. “She tapped and you didn’t let go” Nat scoffed “after everything she said she deserved that” Matt scratched his head. Nick shook his head “you could have hurt her” “she’ll live” Emily past by them bumping into Nat. Nat turned about to follow her but Matt grabbed her arm “hey you did great baby”
He kissed her head she calmed down a bit “she deserved it” she whispered “I know” he told her. Nick was long gone following Emily “so about our date” Matt said. “Mhm” she wrapped her arms around his neck “I was thinking since were free tomorrow how about we stay another night” Nat smiled but remembered Nick had invited her to their house the rest of the week.
“Actually Nick invited me to your guys house for the week” Matt raised an eyebrow “oh” Nat stiffened “something wrong?” Matt shook his head no “well of course idk if the offer is still on the table” she said. Matt was about to answer when Nick came back “of course it is... sorry about earlier” he put his hands in his pockets. Nat brushed him off “it’s understandable” she smiled softly
“So Cali?” She wiggled her brows. She turned to see Matt looking off “you okay?” She asked. He nodded not even looking at her, they walked to their room Nat going to shower. While she was in there she could hear them arguing but wasn’t sure what about. She shut the water off but couldn’t hear them anymore, she grabbed a towel wrapping it around her.
She changed quickly walking out to see Nick grabbing clothes she looked for Matt “where’s Matt?” She asked walking to their bed. Nick jumped “oh Uh he went to talk
To Kenny real quick” Nat nodded sitting down. Nick sighed “work stuff” Nat nodded getting under the covers, she laid there hearing Nick get in the shower. She slowly drifted off to sleep, she was in a peaceful sleep when she heard people whispering.
She slowly opened her eyes it was dark the lights were out, Nat reached for her phone seeing that it was 1 in the morning, they didn’t even get to go on their first date. “What do you want me to say Matt?” She heard a voice. She turned to see Matt and Nick arguing they didn’t see her “nothing just forget it” Matt shrugged. “Why did you take so long” “I was busy” Matt said. Nick scoffed “busy? Doing what” Nick put his hands on his hips
“I was talking to someone I just needed air” Matt sighed. Nat moved the blankets a bit “Matt?” She whispered. They both turned looking at her “yeah I’m here” he said sighing, “okay good” she said turning back to sleep, they eyed her as she rolled over. They stayed quiet making sure she was fully asleep.
Once they seen she was they continued “what’s up with you?” Nick asked Matt. Matt sighed “I-I don’t know man” Nick looked at him “is it about Nat?” Matt didn’t say anything pretty much answering nicks question “what is it now?” He rolled his eyes. What they didn’t know was Nat was awake she was pretending so she can hear the whole thing.
“You invited her to Cali??” Matt whispered ,”that’s why you’re freaking out?” He sighed “yes! You invited her to our home, where my kids are my w-ex wife.” Matt gritted. Nat felt her heart drop, that’s what he was worried about. He didn’t want his ex wife or kids to know about her that made her feel like crap
She could feel a tear slipping out of her eye. “Your divorced and grown as hell they’ll be fine” Nick rolled his eyes. “You don’t get it” “no you don’t get it, she’s a good person and you’re hurting her every chance you get. Anyways she’s not going for you... she’s going for me. So she can stay with me” Nick walked off to his bed, he looked at Nat seeing her asleep.
He paused for a second looking at her it looked like she was cringe. “No she’s not. “ Matt finally said. “You live alone!” “And?” Nick asked. “You’re okay with her staying with you ang and the kids?.. oh that’s right she doesn’t know you’re still living together” Nick scoffed
“Just until she finds a house” Matt sat at the bed turning to see Nat had already turned facing the wall. He sighed , he removed his clothes and changed climbing into bed. He tried to pull her to him but she was like a rock not moving. Matt frowned “Nat?” He whispered but she didn’t answer he sighed and gave up. He turned to face away from her drifting off to sleep, Nat waited till they both fell asleep once they were snoring she grabbed her things and left.
She texted the one person she could count on right now and knew they would let her in. She made it to the door knocking on it , it opened up “hey” cash said
Nat smiled softly “can I stay here?” She said sheepishly, he smiled “come on” he grabbed her things and let her walk in.
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richgirl528 · a month ago
the starting point <3
honestly im just writing this post for fun. ik nobody reading this blog anyway but this is to my future self. well this is my plan for my future and career so enjoy.
im at the starting point rn. i win the lottery, around 10-20m us dollars. i get the money within 2 weeks. its in my bank account and i have full access and control over it. then i get this one apartment downtown that I’ve been waiting to get for the past 7 months at least. then i move there with all my shit and think about the next steps. the next step is this one house in Hollywood Hills, its not that expensive for a house in a neighborhood like that. it has the perfect view and pool omg its so amazing tbh. so i start off with contacting the agent from my living room in the apartment that i just got and we schedule a tour. in the meantime i get vaccinated bc well i have to do so if i want to travel. i don’t pack that much shit because i still have stuff from high school waiting for me in there. i fly first class for the first tie in my life since i already won the money and can finally afford a decent 16 hour flight. i get to lax and i probably have to ask my dad again to get me an uber because holy fuck i never have service or data outside of international arrivals but thank god there’s this one free wifi spot that i can connect to. the connection is kinda shitty and it often goes out but whatever. i make it to the uber and it gets me to my hotel the hotel that i booked is the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel on Hollywood boulevard. i already have a picture of it right besides me on the wall lol. im probably jet lagged and tired as fuck so i go to sleep bc its like 8 pm and if i fall asleep i won’t fuck up my sleeping schedule. in 2 days i have the meeting with an agent to look at the house. im already sure that i want the house and that its already mine. the next day i take an uber to get my shit from Santa Monica where its at. i get back and just chill and go through it for like an hour. shits boring and i don’t care that much but there my first research paper from my senior year of high school so its nice to see it again. then i go to dinner probably in n out bc bro its so addicting. when i lived in la i just couldn’t stop getting it lol. there’s one near Hollywood Boulevard so its not a big deal i can even walk or take an uber if im lazy. well im already tired so i go to sleep. the next day im going to see the house at like 12pm. i have to dress properly and nice. i have this blazer that actually fits me (lol never seen before), a blue shirt and my black flared plants. i get there 10 minutes early so i just walk around the house and the neighborhood. its so nice. literally my dream place to stay. i get a little nervous and stressed out because bro wtf im like right here right now. its July so its hot as fuck, i take off my blazer because low key im starting to sweat. im trying to focus on the temperature and how its not actually that hot to stop sweating. it 11:56, i go back net the house and at 11:58 i ring the bell. i suppose the agency is owned by somebody of asian ethnicity and so is an asian woman walking me through the house. she’s shorter than me and is always wearing a abler but a black one. her hair in a little longer than shoulder length. she’s really nice actually. she starts with showing me the kitchen and living room. i already know the entire house even though its my first time seeing it. then she shows me the master bedroom, and the other two bedrooms. we got to the 2 car garage and she shows me how to find the door that take me there. that’s basically the entire house. we go back to the living room and she shows me the backyard and the pool. its so beautiful and the view is almost break taking, i still can’t believe that im here right now. she shows me the eastern side of the house and we go back from there through that one room with a bookshelf and a sofa. i tell her immediately that im taking the house. im trying to convince her that the price its listed for is a little too high. I’ve done my research and looked at the prices of the houses in the neighborhood. we agree on 2.100.00 instead of 2.950.00. we make the deal and sign some papers. she said that we will stay in touch. the next day. go pick up the papers from the notary or whatever idk what its like to buy a house actually im free styling rn. the entire process of buying the house was around 2 week because i bought it with cash. that was one of the reasons why the lady that was showing me the place agreed to my price. the fact that i had the cash in my bank account just made everything easier and faster. in the meantime i apply for driving lessons. im so excited to finally learn how to drive and get a car holy fuck omg. im still staying at the hotel bc its close to literally every place that i have to go takes me less than a month to get my license. i get my license form the east Hollywood dmv. i can legally drive now so i get a car. right after getting my license i go to get a car. i go to Jim Falk Lexus of Bevel Hills. they have a black Lexus NX that i want. it has amazing audio set, just perfect for listening to music. i go sign the papers and some insurance stuff. idk but its a good deal. i don’t remember what they told me but if i crash they got my back. whatever that’s all that matters and its not that much a month anyway. the moment I’ve been waiting for since my senior year of high school, since august 2018. i get into my new car, my 2021 Lexus NX. i put my hands on the wheel and just feel whatever material its made out of. i feel like im on top of the world. I’ve waited so much for this moment. i already have a playlist for my car rides but the first song that i put on is obviously want some more by nicki mine, my favorite song of hers. as i drive away from Jim Falk Lexus of Beverly Hills, i sing with Nicki “im in this bitch im getting money, one minute they hate me then they love me”. i go to the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel to pick up my shit and i drive to Hollywood Hills, Deronda drive. i have like two boxes so i just leave them in the garage idgaf. now im gonna do this one thing that i always wanted to do throughout my entire year of senior year. just drive around the neighborhood and my school bc i couldn’t before. fuck i love driving so much. its like around 5.30, the sun is setting a little. first i go to my old high school on circle blocks till im dizzy. its so weird to be here in a car damn. i drive around the neighborhood and my old house. then i go to carls junior like i used to. damn its been a while. i get the usual, super star combo with a sprite. i also get their little donuts, they are so cute honestly. my first time not eating in a restaurant, and my first time at the drive through by myself. i eat in the car in the parking lot across the street. i remember when i stayed at this Starbucks for hours doing maths with kayak in 2018, the good times before we stopped talking for whatever reasons. now i have to go the that one dollar store in the platt village. yk like i used to. they still have that lemon cookies that i used to get so often, its crazy bro to come back. im going home now. im saving Westfield toping for tomorrow, i don’t want to do everything in one day.
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chironmybeloved · a month ago
Moonlight was such a beautiful movie. What about it resonated so deeply with you?
hi hello so first of all thank u so so much for this ask i cannot tell u how happy it made me to see this i’m wishing u a wonderful day and weekend thank u!!!!!!! i’m actually planning on making a whole post for my one year anniversary since seeing the movie next week so this isn’t going to include everything but i will still make it very thorough!!!! 
so onto the question gosh there’s so many incredible things ab this film i could go on. one of my favorite aspects of it was the intimacy there’s so many sweet and genuine relationships between the characters and a certain gentleness and tenderness that made me incredibly soft. so for example little and juan very much had a father and son relationship and juan was always so kind to him. he allowed little to be who he was and taught him how to swim and instilled a lot of love and confidence in him!!!! i love how he nurtured him and wanted to teach him about life (that speech in the ocean and when little asked about being gay!!!). there’s a post where mahershala talks about how juan saw a bit of himself in little and wanted to do right by him and god i absolutely love that!!!! the connections between these two characters only grows and it’s so interesting how we see little morph into juan by the end of the film (a whole separate convo that i’ll probs talk about that in the other post!!). then there’s teresa who was absolutely a mother to him (as paxyshia said they really are a found family!!!) and also let little exist how he was and never forced any societal pressures onto him like the rest of the world. she respected him (called him by his name!!) and took care of him like he was her son. i love the fact that she maintains a relationship with him throughout his life and takes care of chiron during his teenage years and offers him a safe space and support. it just shows how much she cared for him (when she said ‘all love and pride in this house’ and just wanted to instill confidence and self respect in him!!!). they were both so good to him and just wanted the best for him and tried to give him that and that’s such a beautiful and lovely thing!!!!
obviously i have to talk about kevin god their relationship is so so lovely albeit complications of course!!! the way kevin always included little when they were kids and that speech at the fields when he told little he needed to be hard like obviously that was a bit toxic but it also goes to show how kevin was looking out for him and didn’t want any harm done to him so he went out of his way to teach little how he could prevent that!!!!! and then there’s their teen years which are a whole other thing god ok so we first see kevin after school and that entire exchange PLS once again kevin was 100% looking out for him there’s no way he just magically showed up right when chiron was all anxious like that and about to confront terrel hello!!!! im focusing on intimacy rn so not gonna go into other stuff ab this scene but pls know there’s a million things i could (and will next week!) say. ok so now we have the beach scene which like. literally the most tender scene in all of humanity GOD it’s so beautiful and sweet. once again kevin showing up when chiron needs him sir!!!!!! like it’s so obvious kevin likes and cares for him throughout the film and does it by showing up and proving his support (which is why the fight scene is soo meaningful but i will go into that later).
also their entire dialogue like… i love how they have this rhythm and banter and we really see chiron break out of his shell when he’s around kevin and open up because he doesn’t with most people but kevin has that effect on him!!! once again a safe and trusted space for him which is such a wonderful thing that chiron needed and deserved!!!!! the last thing ab this scene is when they’re having sex and kevin’s like holding onto chiron’s and brushing his hair it’s such a small but sweet thing ah it reminds me of the post where jharrel jerome and barry talked about the scene and how it was chiron’s first kiss and jerome ran with that and knew kevin would treat him well and make it special and meaningful and good yk…. (also how we see kevin return to this in the second to last scene when they’re adults hello!!!!!). ok so then there’s the fight scene (skipping the cafeteria one) which wow WOW i'm not sure i have the language to do this scene justice but the way they build kevin and chiron’s relationship right up (they LITERALLY kissed last night) only for kevin to punch him and destroy all of that and send chiron into this spiral of becoming hard and getting rid of any traces of his softness which is what made him unique and just himself literally chef’s kiss.
there’s also smth so specific ab the person you love and have for years being the one to break your heart like !!!!! it’s just so powerful. OK so fast forward to adulthood and we see kevin call black and god . god! what a time the fact that he went out of his way to contact teresa and get his number and thought of him because of a SONG and wants to fucking cook for him that’s romance and a date baby!!!!! the fact that black literally drops everything he’s doing and fucking visits him right after goes to show their connection and how much the two still and always have loved each other and want to be together. the diner scene is also the most beautiful thing in the entire world i mean the absolute intimacy of it all!!!! the fact that within seconds they’re able to return to that banter and comfort as if no time has passed…. the way kevin goes out of his way to make a special meal for chiron the way kevin KNOWS this isn’t who chiron is when he’s the one who set him down that path!!!!! the fucking SONG this man plays the lyrics like god they’re so representative of their relationship and the fact that it begins with ‘my baby’ and talks about missing someone and not seeing them for a while jesus… also the looks kevin gives him like yeah!!! im playing u this fucking song how does it feel and chiron’s obviously shocked out of his mind and overwhelmed and there’s this recognition that he drove all the way to come here and kevin still feels a certain way about him and wow...WOW. ok so now we’re back at the house and kevin makes him tea and wants to take care of him as always and chiron fucking says ‘you the only man whos ever touched me you the only one’ and i SPIRAL to think chiron hasn’t allowed himself to be close to anyone in a DECADE and only got to experience one moment of tenderness and physical intimacy my god…. the fact that the movie ends with kevin and chiron embracing and kevin giving him the love he’s been missing for so many years and couldn’t allow himself to experience but does with kevin like he is his person kevin IS chiron’s person. and ah someone else said this but the way the film ends on little as if chiron is finally returning to his youth and might get to experience the freedom that comes with it as an adult!!!! full circle baby i love it sm. 
ok so now that we’ve talked about relationships let’s discuss chiron on his own aka my beloved!!! i relate to this character soo so much like wow the way he’s forced to be an outsider from the beginning and doesn’t have a lot of people in his life he can trust esp family it’s all so much. i love how little on his own is carefree and has these moments of happiness despite all that like dancing at school and learning to swim!!!! it just shows how like any kid he’s full of life and joy but it’s the people around him taking that away and forcing it to be lost. i lovee chiron as a teen specifically the way he maintains this gentle and goodness to him despite being beaten down over the years. he’s so fragile though and vulnerable and emotional but like he allows himself to be!!!! the fact that he cries a lot and admitted to it and just wants to be loved and comforted and feel safe like those are such basic things and yes he receives it from juan and teresa but it’s his mom he lives with and who takes this away. with that the mother son relationship was also quite relatable not the specifics of it like addiction and what not but having a parent who tears u down and doesn’t give u the love and attention u need and deserve and i love how they have chiron still show up for paula at the end and how he can’t quite let that relationship go despite the hurt she’s done. speaking of which the way black becomes hard and transforms into this completely other person like god the way not receiving kindness and compassion and just being hurt so much can drive u to this like. again it’s all so very relatable. i think overall the way the film gives us such complex characters is amazing with the writing and acting and i think that representation is so so crucial. black people deserve stories like these where they feel seen and represented and aren’t stereotyped and i think it’s wonderful how the movie incorporated so many things that must feel like home for them and their community!!!! 
now im gna move on to other stuff so ok i absolutely love how the movie tackles so many societal things so being poor homophobia + toxic masculinity and how they exist and interact with each other (and how black men specifically have to navigate this) drug dealing and addictions like there’s so many things covered but the best part is how the film humanizes these people (which the cast esp mahershala has talked and how he felt seen on screen!!!!). the way little from early on has to deal with being called slurs and is persecuted by the other boys automatically the viewer understands that this is a person who’s been deemed an outsider and is tormented for it. and as he grows older he continues to face this kind of treatment in various ways (terrel bullying him, the principle calling him a boy and saying there should be other guys  there, his own mom making fun of him, etc). the film shows just how violent and painful homophobia + toxic masculinity is because we see chiron lose more of himself through the years until his adulthood where he’s completely changed and has lost all evidence of his actual personality and being. the fact that chiron faces this from his own community goes to show how deep it runs and how poisonous it can be!!!! then there’s the addiction/drug dealing storyline which is done so masterfully we see how it affects the town with little being exposed to it so young (both at the crack house he runs to and his own mom doing drugs). and because the story is told from his pov we see the many ways he comes head to head with it and how it really does affect not just the user. also the fact that paula was indirectly receiving these drugs from juan makes it that much more complicated because he’s simultaneously parenting little while also hurting the person who’s supposed to be doing it!!!! also the way this escalates into chiron’s teen years is done so well like when she demands money from chiron (ah someone commented on this and how despite harming him she still tells him to go to school and wants to be a parent) so again there’s this complexity and paula hurting her own child but still having motherly qualities peek through!!!! also their discussion at the end when he visits her gosh that was smth the fact that paula recognized the damage she’d done and apologized but chiron had already been abused and mistreated so badly like again despite paula not being there for him we feel for her and their relationship so the humanization really is there!!!! ah also i didn’t discuss chiron being poor that was smth else done super well i think this was incorporated really seamlessly into the story through small things like terrel pointing out his clothes and the area he lives in. it just added another reason for people to bully and isolate him so with that we see how different factors come together (all four things mentioned here) to create a really painful experience and struggle. AH ok so final thing is the music and cinematography !!!!! every single shot and sound choice feels so purposeful in this film i always think about the swimming scene and how the camera was literally in the ocean and made the viewer feel like they were there witnessing this spectacular and beautiful thing. also all the closeups mixed with shots from behind the person the movie feels so personal and intimate!!!! i love how there’s both warm and cool colors and how safe the settings feel they’re real and personal and just aesthetically pleasing!!! the music is insane too i mean u could write a whole essay on that and how it’s used to build tension or whatever emotion the scene is trying to convey. the middle of the world is one people talk about a lot and rightfully so because it makes that scene feel godly and so powerful and like a rebirth!!!! ah also the way water and its sound are used to reference childhood and serenity gosh!!!!! like kevin living near the water and their kiss happening there and juan teaching little to swim like water is such a constant and reminder of another time and i just fucking love how every single thing in this
movie has a purpose and was a choice and god they just do everything right!!!
this is like. a good overview of why i love this film so much again there’s a ton more which ill hopefully incorporate into my post next week but ah thank u again this was an absolute joy to write and i appreciate u asking this question sooo so much!!!!
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session 19
Session 19 Sunday, April 25, 2021 7:47 PM
- I'm cold :[ the window is open - Last week on dnd: we went to a place mirt tipped us abt; activity around stone in castle ward o Explored a bunch of rooms and snuck around o Got to arena w prisoners made to fight, came across vats filled w dead beholders o Cel theo and adam discover the kitchenso Asyna and aerana went upstairs hearing commotion not knowing from where - Adam was instructed to head down the hallway to the left and go upstairs, pass through the meeting room and go through first door to right o Currently on lower level, heading towards noisy area - Adam kachunk kachunk kachunks up the stairs o Cel is slightly concerned abt adam's trolley driving ability, theo is holding onto the trolley for dear life bc adam cannot push this cart - Confronted w wall of noise, music o Passes through open door and sees two mess tables, full of diverse set of ppl generally looking shabby/down on their luck o They look mean and shifty but they're having a good time rn o Someone in corner sees adam with the cart ■ "looks at you and says" *dom waves, not saying a word* ■ Adam goes toward person and sees staircase ■ It is a human w a shaved head and an eye tattoo on the back of his head like the motifs in the dungeon ■ "when's my order coming sir" □ "sorry sir we're a little backlogged rn and I'm not your waiter if u tell me who ur waiter is I can find them n give u an update" □ Man sighs n grumbles bc they're v hungry ◆ Adam offers one appetizer to them; one big whole crab ◆ The ppl lean back and look at adam ◆ "just don't tell the chef," adam says, then trolleys away, full steam ahead - Confronted w sheer staircase, no ramp o Adam is gonna try to pull it up, strength check ■ Rolls a 7 ■ Halflings must make stealth check □ Pass without a trace thing is still active ◆ Theo rolls 21 ◆ Cel rolls 34 o Adam can get them up a couple of steps, but after a bit of trying some of the ppl at the party r just . Looking at adam■ "is there a . Strong dude . Just sitting down anywhere"□ "that dude and a couple of the guys" the crab ppl□ They stand up and start heading over to adam◆ "hello friends ! Did you like the crab?"◊ Human guy, half-orc woman, two dwarves w pleated beards► Human : " you want a . Hand ?"- Adam says he's feeding royaltyo The four of them get around the cart and hoist it up the stairs
o Cel's internal screaming gets loudero "I'd just like to thank you guys so much for helping me out"■ Adam winks at one of the dwarves, but why?- Top of the stairs, 150 feet hallway that starts to curve towards endo In front and to right, set of double doors followed by another doorwayo Also a set of double doors to far left and one perpendicular from thato Tl;dr: Facing three doors and one at the end of the hallo Adam is going to follow the directions, sees a passageway as he walkso Lots of ornate carving in the door, door carved to look like a piece of funguso Adam rolls perception, 6■ Doesn't see any other door but hears talking behind this one■ Hears ppl clapping and cheering; otherwise just hears deep booming voice that's difficult to make out- Adam bends down to cart and pokes head insideo "so we're here" adamo "thank god" theoo Left are snails, whole turkey, blueberry pie on carto Plan is to go inside, give them food, grab lord silgaro Cel asks if adam wants fake lord silgar now or later■ Adam puts fake lord silgar on head and pulls chef's hat over■ Except nvm■ He can't do that so uses empty crab dish instead□ Remembers where he puts it to avoid giving fake lord silgar out- Adam opens door and starts wheeling cart ino Theo n cel holding hands- Meanwhile !!- Asyna and aerana just finished going up spiraling staircase stealthilyo Poke heads around corner, notice passageway moving forward {straight) and one offshoot to right, further down there are two more branching pathso Aerana rolls 19 perception■ Can hear some ppl chatting■ Aerana can understand undercommon□ Ppl arguing, that there's no ghost "you're a moron if you think you saw a ghost" "no I'm not gonna check"□ They sound wet, dom says, and lillian and marguerite stare me down :{■ One thinks they saw the ghost, hear them to our righto Naya turns in circles then walks into wall■ Goes behind■ 17 investigation check□ No buttons on wall□ Nothing on the floor□ Nothing on the ceiling, no eye things; down 50ish feet can see an ornately carved door, looks drow-related w spider motifso Not sure if guards would see us if we went down hallway■ We poke our heads in and go OOP did u see the ghost in undercommon■ See big chamber■ Three doorways in diff sections of the room, in between two of the doors, a wider portcullis that's been lowered■ A bunch of fish looking bipedal creatures w spears digging into food, they're called kuo-toa■ One of them turns around and stands up, eating tough cured meat■ "do you know where it went ? I'm scared"□ Deception, 7
□ Short thingy but has a long whip in his hand□ Stares us down "you two aren't authorized to be here"□ "but she's a chef, so" asyna "we're lost"□ Asyna asks what they're up to◆ One of the fishy guys says he saw the ghost go a certain way, pointed towards a hallway leading off to the right in the room□ The main guy staring at us cracks his whip and says "we're busy"■ We back out and head into area we were first in- We go back to kitchen to grab food, off in distance we here loud banging crash from behind us- Adam wheels out the carto The floor drops bc there are stairs; a dozen or so cheering warriors in a wide chambero Make acrobatics checks■ "stairs have been the ultimate enemy in this session" jacob, 2021■ 16 for theo, 7 for celo Adam pushes cart out, and as it leans down, it's a little too heavy and turns to sideo Platters clatter open, except for the one containing the fish {stays upside down)■ Two dishes splatter onto floor, along with a halfling■ Theo stays inside the cart■ Cel tumbles outo Everyone looking at them■ "did anyone order a halfling and blueberry pie?"- Adam must make performance checko 14o Everyone in the room draws their weapono Floating creature descends and hisses, drow gathering energyo Sylvia has an idea■ Adam is telling everyone to calm down bc he has a pieo Cel stands up, hand on dust of disappearance subtlyo But they hear low rumbling sound- Adam yells "WAIT ! I know this looks bad ! But there is a much more pressing manner" as he pulls out the fish foodo Grumbling turning into laughter■ Really creepy uncomfy laughtero "halfling pie" ahahahahao Adam starts laughingo Cel halfheartedly laughso Can't see anything but can hearo Looking at ceiling just see large circle bowl attached to ceiling- Adam "I have been informed - praise xanathar by the way - I've been informed by ot to feed lord silgar his daily sustenance and if I don't get this to him soon things aren't going to b looking too hot for the xanathar guild"o Everyone kinda chuckling to themselves■ Cel makes 21, adam makes 13 or smth for insight check; theo rolls 3o The ppl don't think the joke is funny but they're laughing anywayso Voice echoes "v mysterious . ot went missing"■ "well he hasn't been to work in awhile" adam says□ Adam makes persuasion check□ Adam rolls nat 1◆ Hears deep imposing resonance◆ "deliver your food and then be gone from this ?? Space -- if you should trifle, then perhaps we shall enjoy the new employee with the pie"□ Adam tells cel to wait here and cel Is like :I◆ Adam casts message and tells cel that if things go south to find aerana and
asyna◆ Adam takes theo with him□ Cel messages back for adam to keep an eye on the plushie◆ Cel standing by door, adam wheeling cart with one hand, sets pie on table by buff guys and keeps going◆ Cel looking around room and doesn't see anything that doesn't look humanoid, sees two other doors not including one she came from- Human woman tells cel that she better leaveo "I think you should leave before he changes his mind"o Cel tries the door she came in from, it's unlockedo Adam is going for door closest to him firsto Cel leaves room going back way she came■ Right as she goes to leave, booming voice says "wait. You there . Halfling . Tell us a story . And you tiefling fellow . If you encounter ot, give him my best wishes . And then come back . say . Which door is ot behind, my friend?"■ Jacob: "I'm gonna roll a d2"□ "is this a test ?? I still just started this job" adamo Cel tries to leave, makes acrobatics check 18■ Human woman rolls nat 20 and cel cannot leaveo Jacob rolls 24 to ask for a hint■ "it is not the door on your left !!"■ Adam insight checks, 15; voice is odd and adam can't tell what's going on■ Adam says he loves the voice and opens the door right next to him■ Cold rush fills adam's body, just fear□ "give my regards to ot! You passed :)"■ Adam feels push and door shuts behind him, without theo■ Adam has darkvision, sees gigantic 20x20 fish bowl with aquatic plants and gravel inside and a miniature castle + sizable treasure chest at bottom of bowl■ Inside is a familiar looking dwarf with a strange helmet on□ Turns around and yells◆ "OT"◆ Adam goes over and puts two hands on his shoulders◆ Ot is holding smaller fishbowl with a goldfish◆ "I need that goldfish"- Back to asyna and aeranao We go get food from the kitchen, two souffleso We hear more argument back at stairs, sounds like ringleader from before in undercommon saying "well no sir according to my observation did not see any ghost . Well I should hope not but we can investigate for you if you desire"o We walk down left hallway, see tall pillars■ Passageway to left back in direction we came□ Door, passageway, passageway that goes sort of back way we cameo We keep going down passageway■ 17 perception check at ornate door■ We can hear cel talking and occasionally a deep booming interjecting voice■ We listen by other door, can hear fish people talking through there■ 18 perception down other passageway, looking down catches glimpse of a halfling being dragged off□ Halfling doesn't look like someone we recognize- 28 stealth check to pull open door a little bito See big group of ppl, knocked over cart that looks like one adam was pushing, cel- Back to cel, cel telling a storyo "have you ever heard the story of the yawning portal"
o "no . I've heard it's a terrible place"o "yeah it's an awful place with mystery that I want to explore"o Cel relays things durnan has told about typ, rolls performanceo 11 performance check■ Is talking for awhileo Aerana and asyna can hear clearly- Theo still inside fallen carto Is close to door adam went througho Everyone is watching celo Door adam went through is probably unlocked■ Stealth check, 17 w pass without a trace- Theo makes it through unscathedo Sees ot and adam chatting- Back to adamo "OT I need that fish"o adam slaps himo Adam makes strength check of 5o Theo has sneak attack and is gonna bonk ot on the head■ 13 to hit, stun attack and ot drops bowl□ Adam makes dex check, 14, catches bowl□ Looks like the fish adam saw in that painting but also looks p mundaneo Theo has other fish, other fish kinda looks like lord silgaro Adam gets lord silgar and puts him underneath chef's hato Fake fish named filgar■ See passageway leading out and sloping up {like a ramp) + locked double door against wallo Ot says "we spoke of the stone"■ Ot begging for fish, adam says give stone ot says I don't know where stone is■ Adam rolls 18 for insight, but ot blocking big bowl■ No fish in the bowl just a rocky sandy bottom, faux treasure chest, faux castle- Adam walks up to bowl, tips it overo Adam mage hands down into fish bowl, opens chest, sees oval, uses mage hand to grab rocko Ot starts crying bc he doesn't want to fail at his jobo Adam gives him filgar and brings ot close■ "you saw nothing"- Adam puts rock in pocketo Jk adam hands stone to theo and tells her to get out, adam is gonna go get celo Adam tells theo to meet at kitcheno Jk we'll meet outside the guildo Theo just needs to book it- Adam and theo high five, adam walks back out and claps "he ate"o "very good" booming voice sayso Says they're gonna finish eating the halfling but adam offers his entertainment skills■ Cel dips out, sees asyna and aerana and we hand her the souffles■ Keep door pried open- Theo follows passageway as far out as she can go- Adam starts storyo "there once was a young man in a fallen city . This city had many factions . This young boy was the leader of the smallest . His faction was growing smaller and weaker until one day he made a deal with a devil . Devil asks for an heir, man agrees, came at cost of best friend, but man receives great power and influence in city; one morning realizes consequences and at his doorstep were two baby twin tieflingso One crying one laughing
o Man takes it upon self to raise tieflings in secret, can't kill tieflings bc agreement- Theo running down hallway, sees heavily armed fish folk and head to double doors, walk through; four of us now togethero As adam giving speech, is casually inching towards door he came from, preparing darknesso Voice is just listening to storyo "Man raises two tieflings in secret, one void of powers other great sorcerer; tutor hired to teach lesser tiefling . Tutor was kind and only friend of younger tiefling and realized younger tiefling needed to escape; when younger tiefling turned 17, led tiefling out of city; older tiefling told father of plano Adam's voice cracks :{o "tutor was killed but the younger one got away"o "you know the younger one should've been stronger" voice sayso Adam's voice cracks, stops movements■ Looks at tentacle monster, cross and a little angry, hands shaking behind backo Is close to door
• We ALL run■ "and with that story that has ended with no happy ending, I will bid you adieu" calls darkness, YEETS away■ Adam running
- Naya pokes head out of wall, we run and cel recasts pass without a traceo 13 celo 20 aeranao 19 adamo 11 theoo 10 asyna- Running down hallway back towards kitchenso Behind can hear someone shouting "there you are" from behind us■ Adam casts hypnotic pattern on stairs for next minute■ Aerana launches bow, 6 damage on the jailer dwarf who was immediately chasing us
□- We keep runningDwarf is incapacitated and stands still on stairs
o Following pathway we came through
o Dex saves bc adam's pyrotechnics doesn't work
■ Aerana rolls nat 1
■ Adam nat 20
■ Theo 23
■ Cel 19???
■ Asyna 12
□ Everyone takes 5 damage, except aerana who takes 10
- Adam casts healing words to take aerana to 6 hp
o Adam casts hellish rebuke, 20 fire damage
o Aerana hits 15 damage and yeets out of room
o Asyna rolls 6 dex save, as running out asyna feels incredible slowness; can make door but still slow
■ Halved speed
- We round corner and go up the stairs
o "rat might actually work because rat is rat"
- Aerana turns into squirrel, speed returns
- We get to sewer we entered from and for the moment it looks as we've escaped
o We have lord silgar and the stone
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