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#((since she probably sometimes just wants to go out and have dinner or go to the movies without people hassling her))
AITA for asking my gf's son not to call me dad?
I (22M) have been dating my gf (24F) for 4 years now. She has a 7 year old whose dad isn't in the picture anymore - he hasn't been since the kid was born. My gf says he was abusive and I think there are some charges against him but as far as I know, nothing was proven. He has other kids too who he does have a relationship with but he doesn't have custody rights with my gf's son so they hasn't been allowed to have a relationship.
My gf and I live together and are both in college. I am going to be a surgeon and she wants to study science but she hasn't decided what to do with it yet. Because we're both busy with that, her son doesn't live with us full time. He stays with her parents during the week. This means that we have to dedicate our weekends to looking after the kid. I didn't really mind this at first but her parents are really pushing for her to look after him during the week now too, which we don't have time for. I hear how that doesn't sound great but the plan has always been that her parents will take care of the kid until she finishes with school. She has classes for 4+ hours from Mon-Thurs, plus she needs to spend a few hours studying every day, then she has labs on Friday for most of the day. I have classes all week for fewer hours each day but next semester I'll probably be doing an internship so I'll have more work to do. Then we pick up her kid on Friday evenings and spend the whole weekend with him. There's hardly any time for us to spend time alone together. I like her son and he's usually fun to have around but both of us are obviously stressed from having no down time so most weekends my gf and her son get into an argument or something and things escalate. I try not to get involved when that happens. Sometimes my gf and I are the ones who end up arguing and in that case, I usually go to my parents house.
Basically, I'm not super involved with the kid. Her parents want us to spend all of our free time on parenting despite originally agreeing that it was better if my gf focused on school. He has a dad who could probably be more involved but my gf and her family don't want him around. I've suggested that maybe it would be a better solution for her son to live with his dad full time, that way she can focus on school and then her career and still have time for herself and for us. I love her but she doesn't really have maternal instincts and she doesn't actually want kids, she has said a lot that she regrets not giving him up for adoption.
Recently, we were out for dinner with my gf's sister and kid, and the kid called me his dad. He's done this a lot and usually I just kind of ignore it, but no one else corrected him this time and I felt like the kid deserved the truth. I asked him then and there not to call me dad because he has a real dad who probably wouldn't like it. He didn't seem upset by it but my gf's sister lost it. She thinks I don't want the kid around and that I'm the reason my gf doesn't spend more time with him. She also thinks this was the first time my gf's son heard about his bio dad. Total conjecture, but she won't hear my side of it. The kid knows I havent been around since he was born so he obviously knows someone else must be his dad. I told my gf I don't think it's fair to let the kid call me dad when he has a real dad out there and she sort of agrees. She told her son not to call me dad anymore and they had a long talk about it. She still doesn't want the real dad involved but that's a whole other battle.
Here's why I think I might be the asshole: I said this to the kid in a moment of annoyance, which probably wasn't the way to bring it up. Like I said, he didn't seem upset by it but I wasn't there for the longer conversation so I don't know exactly. I think he's old enough to be allowed to know about his real dad in a more serious way. It's kind of messed up that he could run into his dad in the street (we live in a pretty small town) and wouldn't know it. I'm not his dad and for the foreseeable future, I won't be responsible for him as a parent because he still lives with his grandparents. I think it's reasonable to say that he shouldn't call me dad. So, AITA?
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Why is the first day back from break always the worst???
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targaryen-dynasty · 4 months
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MINE AND MINE ONLY.
Modern!Aemond Targaryen x wife!Reader
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Aemond has gotten you pregnant six months ago, and seeing him with his infant niece during dinner with his family sparks something inside of you only he can satisfy.
WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT—MINORS DNI; p in v, face sitting, slight anal play, slight breeding kink, pregnant sex, slight lactation kink
WORDS: 4.9 K
NOTES: Sorry, I’m kinda in baby fever right now don’t ask me why. 😭 This also is my gift for hitting 1850 followers a few days ago, which means I’m finally where I’ve been before deleting my old blog. Thanks for everyone following me on this journey. 🫶🏻
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The days between Christmas and New Years usually are meant for people to take some much-needed downtime from the stress of the past days or weeks – unless you are a Targaryen or married to one. 
It’s the fourth year in a row you’re spending one, sometimes even two, days at the large Targaryen mansion with every member of their family present. 
What started as an opportunity to celebrate the New Year early with her family four years ago, since Viserys and Alicent wanted to celebrate New Year’s Eve on a yacht somewhere in the Sea of Dorne back then, has quickly turned into a tradition that no one could escape. 
Not even the six-month pregnant you. 
As an excuse to not travel to the family’s vacation home on Dragonstone, Aemond has begged for you to allow him to tell his mother that your back pain has gotten so bad you couldn’t sit in the car for four hours. 
The fact that he didn’t fall to his knees while doing it was everything. 
But you have told him no, seeing that your back pains have eased two weeks ago, and it is one of the rare occasions he gets to spend with his whole family, not just his mother’s side. 
If he wants to or not. 
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“And how are you spending New Year’s?” you ask, lounging in the burgundy Lawson chair. 
Helaena sits in the chair next to yours, fidgeting with the stem of her wine glass. Every now and then you spot her lilac eyes flickering to your protruding bump, accentuated by the tight slip dress you wear. 
“This year we’re embracing a night in,” she answers, nursing her alcohol-free wine. “Cregan doesn’t want to leave the children with his parents, since Lyanna is still breastfeeding, and Edrick doesn’t want to go without his little sister.”
You nod along to her words, smiling softly at the mention of her sons‘ protectiveness, and glance past her to Aemond, Aegon and Cregan. The men are standing close to the fireplace, glasses of whiskey between their fingers. Normally, they would be tipsy by now – some more than others – if it wasn’t for the infant cradled in Cregan’s strong arms. 
Helaena follows your line of sight, the turning of her head prompting you to look at her again. 
“What are your plans?” she asks. 
You pucker your lips slightly, looking down at the glass of water you‘ve rested on your belly before meeting her eyes. 
“Aegon has invited us to a party in White Harbor, a formal dinner with some of his friends. We wanted to go, because the place is stunning and it’s overlooking the iconic harbor fireworks, but it’s such a long drive, and Aemond doesn’t want to risk anything by us taking the plane,” you sigh, “so, we’ll probably stay at home or just go out for dinner.”
Ever since you’ve handed him the gift box containing four identical, positive pregnancy tests, Aemond has taken over a protective aura and has found it incredibly difficult to keep his hands off of you. 
It’s a miracle he was able to talk to his brother and brother-in-law for so long without checking in on you once. 
But speak of the devil. 
What you aren’t expecting when Aemond makes his way over to where you’re conversing with his sister, is the little infant in his arms. Her head rests against his shoulder, while one of his large hands supports it and neck, and the other supports her bottom. 
He’s swaying her gently as he walks over, a proud smile on his lips as he can’t tear his eyes off of his niece, coming to stand next to Helaena’s chair. The sight makes your heart swell with love. 
Cregan trails behind him, and your eyes briefly fall to the abandoned Aegon still standing at the fireplace and balancing their three glasses in his hands. 
“Honey,” the Northener’s gruff voice rings out, “your mother said that Edrick’s made a mess. Could you change him while I clean up?” Still standing offset behind your husband, Cregan pats Aemond on the shoulder once. “Our girl’s in good hands, and Aemy here can already practice for what awaits him soon.”
Helaena raises her eyebrows, before snickering at her husband’s remark. She bows her head once, smiling at you, “excuse me, Y/N.”
“We’ll talk later,” you assure her. 
She brushes her hand over your swollen belly once as she rises, Cregan’s hand on the small of her back urging her out of the living space. 
Aemond carefully sinks into the chair, and changes the position of the sleeping infant so she’s cradled in his arms. 
“What have you been up to?” he asks, finally moving his head to look at you. 
You were wearing a knitted sweater over your dress when you two arrived a few hours earlier, but with hot flashes attacking you every now and then, you have long opted to slip out of it and hang the sweater over a chair. 
And the outfit change clearly is only now noticed by him.
His lilac eyes flickered between yours and your full breasts, and you can literally see the gears turning in his head. 
“You’re not wearing a bra,” he states, full on staring at your breasts. 
Fine, maybe you have also done it to tease him a bit. 
A blush creeps onto his cheeks, running down his neck, and he slightly shifts in his seat, turning his gaze away as he clears his throat. 
Pressing your lips into a thin line to stop them from curling into a smile, you quickly shush the urge by taking a swig of your water. “Wasn’t keen on spending the evening unable to think of anything else than how sore and uncomfortable I feel,” you tease. “Are you complaining?”
Aemond raises one hand in defeat, “certainly not, just pointing it out.”
You teasingly reach and bring your index finger to his chin, tilting it up for his eyes to meet yours again. “Then you better stop staring, we're not the only ones here.” 
You glance briefly at the gathered party around you, watching Alicent chat with Rhaenyra and her husband, while Aegon seems to be deep in a conversation with Daemon, no doubt talking about the latest match between the Casterly Rock Lions and the Oldtown Saints.
“Fair enough,” he answered with a low chuckle. 
The soft coos of his niece catch your attention, and you lean forwards to gauge at the little bundle. She’s stirring lightly in her sleep, grimaces and smiles alike gracing her scrunched features. Aemond brushes her cheek with his knuckles in feather light touches, until her coos are interrupted, and wide, blue eyes stare up at him. 
Lyanna smacks her lips slowly, bringing her small hand up to her mouth. “What is she doing?” Aemond whispers, not daring to pull his eyes away from her in case she starts to cry. 
“She’s hungry,” you answer with a chuckle, grinning as you notice his helplessness. 
It’s so brief, but you spot his eyes flickering towards your full breasts, and you have to stop yourself from hitting his shoulder. One wrong word. 
“You know there are barely four months left until your life looks like this, too, right?” you ask, cocking an eyebrow at him. 
“I do, but they have not yet told us about this at the prenatal class.”
“Oh, come on, she’s not your first niece, and she’s not even crying.”
The sigh of relief Aemond releases as he spots Helaena’s silver hair in the far distance has you shaking your head, bringing your index finger up to your smiling lips. 
“How did you three get on?” Helaena asks, noticing that her daughter is awake. 
Your husband rises to his feet, and hands his niece over to her. “Easy, she’s just woken up and seems really hungry,” he notes, as if he has figured it out all by himself. “And how did you fare?”
Helaena releases a dry chuckle, brushing her free hand up and down Aemond’s biceps. “I’ll tell you another time, don’t want to scare you.“ She briefly glances over at you. “Just know that Creg has to bathe him right now, because the wet wipes were useless.”
The grimace on Aemond’s face at his sister’s words has you choking on a laugh. 
Lyanna starts to whine and wiggle in her mother’s grasp, getting her attention. “Sorry again, it’s feeding time, obviously,” she states, muttering the last word under her breath, and shoots you an apologetic gaze before scurrying off. 
You hold out a hand, and knowing what it means, Aemond takes it to help you up from the chair. 
His heart melts at the sight of you before him, and he wraps an arm around you to pull you against his side as he brushes his hand over the gentle swell of your belly in tender affection. There were shy kicks meeting his hand, making him grin.
You return the embrace, and lean yourself against his frame, your head resting on his chest. “It’s different when it’s your own child, you know,” you say, the small glimmer of a smile blessing your features. 
His head dips forwards, and he presses his lips to your temple, mumbling the words against your skin, “I can’t wait to meet him.”
Aemond has his arm slung around your waist as everyone has gathered in the vast living space to watch the children perform a play they have practiced. 
Alicent, ever the proud grandmother, clings to Viserys as they watch in awe what the children of Rhaenyra have been up to. An oblivious Edrick appears in the middle of it all, but before Cregan can scoop him up, the little Viserys has taken his hands to include him in their mischief. 
“Have I already told you how good you look today?” Aemond whispers, his head dipping forwards so his lips are level with your ear. He rubs your bump gently, gazing at you with half-lidded eyes. 
You shiver from his touch, your body tingling from the attention your husband gives you. “You’re not paying attention,” you scold softly, nodding towards the children in the middle. A teenage Jacaerys, as well as Daemon’s daughters from his first marriage, stand before you, your view of the play slightly concealed. 
“I can’t help myself,” he whispers huskily, “you’re just too distracting, Mommy.” A smirk tugs on his lips as the name leaves them, and the sight is only topped by him leaning in to brush his lips over your ear, before they press to the sensitive skin behind it. The very spot that always makes you putty in his hands, and with your hormones in full swing, it does a little more than just melt you. 
“Aemond,” you whisper, though he can also hear the trace of a moan in it, “easy.”
His teeth graze your earlobe, and the ring of his baritone voice sends a shiver down your spine, “we should go to bed early tonight.”
You can’t help but to chuckle at his words. It’s his subtle way to ask for something without directly asking, though you know exactly what he means. You lean into him, pressing yourself against his side. 
Biting the tip of your tongue, it was impossible for you to stop your lips from pulling into a mischievous smirk. 
“Do you think your mother will notice if we leave now?” you ask, innocently. 
You’re greeted with a wide grin when your eyes meet Aemond’s, and the arm he has wrapped around you tightens just more, keeping you against his frame. 
His lips brush your ear again, trailing down to press a kiss to the side of your neck. “If she does, she can tell me later,” he raps into your ear, “besides, we wouldn‘t be gone for too long, sweetheart. Just long enough for a little… alone time. Who could blame us for wanting to savor the last weeks where it’s only the two of us, mh?”
Aemond looks around one last time, noticing how everyone around you is mostly focused on the children’s show. 
Bringing his hand to the small of your back, he gently guides you through the crowd of his relatives, before you’re on the way to his childhood bedroom. 
It’s furnished in a minimalistic style, making it obvious that Alicent has spent some time decluttering her children’s rooms to make them more presentable for whenever guests stay over. The room basically is Aemond’s, and the rest belongs to Alicent. 
Walking in behind you, he locks the door. You look around briefly before his firm chest is flush against your back with his arms around your waist, resting on your bump. He presses his lips to the curve of your neck, prompting you to tilt your head to the side, and a shuddered breath to escape your throat. 
The feeling of his hard, clothed cock against the curve of your ass drives you to insanity, making you eager for more. He grinds against you as his fingers travel over your curves, and greedily fist the fabric of your dress. 
“Let me help you undress, Mama,” he rasps against your skin, goosebumps prickling in its wake.
When he sinks to his knees behind you, you whimper quietly, immediately missing the heat of his breath and lips on your body. 
“Aemond,” you breathe, looking down at him as he pushes your dress up. 
The dumbfounded look that crosses his features with the skirt of your dress rucked up just shy beneath your bump has you chuckling, realization settling in. 
“You went commando?” 
Biting your bottom lip, you can basically see his excitement building, the bulge in the front of his slacks quite obvious despite him kneeling. “I was feeling… adventurous today,” you hum, a glint of mischief in your eyes. 
He can’t help but to grin at your comment, and, on his way up, Aemond starts to press several kisses to the outside of your thigh, his fingers following in their trail. 
Standing to full height again, looming over you, he keeps his hand beneath your bump, his fingers caressing your pubic mound. 
You squeeze your thighs together in a desperate attempt to soothe the aching at the apex of them, since his fingers aren’t touching you where you need them most. An anticipating moan slips past your lips, a shiver shaking your core. 
“I hope you’re prepared for me to be just as adventurous,” he hums, “... and thorough.”
His fingers hook under the thin straps of your dress, tugging them off your shoulders to push the elastic fabric down your curves and onto the ground. It’s pooling around your ankles in a white puddle, leaving you completely bare to him with just a few touches. 
You shudder under his intense gaze, practically devouring you with just his lilac eyes, and try to break the tension by pulling him in for a kiss. 
You turn around mid-kiss, your protruding belly a barrier between your bodies. Before your hands can entangle into his strands, Aemond catches them and intertwines your fingers. He creates a small distance between your bodies, taking a few steps back and pulling you with him. 
His steps are deliberately slow, careful, and you’re encouraged to climb his lap as he sits down at the edge of the bed. Both his feet are firmly planted on the ground, supporting your swollen body. 
He groans as you trap him between your legs, his hands roaming your curves almost immediately. The knowledge that he was the one responsible for the changes of your body, and that everybody else knew that as well, does something to him, making him all the more hungry for you. 
It was even more addicting to see you sit astride him like a goddess, ready to claim what was yours already anyways. Him.
Feeling his clothed member throb beneath you, the urge to grind above him is as inviting as never, and you’re more than ready to give into the urge. Your wetness soaks his slacks, and the groan Aemond releases at the friction has you whimpering with him. 
Your lips meet for a fervent kiss, and while your hands rest on his shoulders, his are eager to explore the swell of your belly. His tongue finds its way past your lips, swirling around yours in a way that turns the kiss into all teeth and tongue. 
Dragging your teeth over his kiss swollen bottom lip, he tilts his head upwards and nudges the tip of his nose against yours. You lick over his lips once, but when you lean in to connect your lips again, Aemond stops you with his hand around your throat. 
“I want you to sit on my face,” he rasps, his voice husky. 
You haven’t sat on his face in weeks, or rather ever since the round ligament pain kicked in and made even the simplest daily tasks difficult for you. 
Your eyes widen. “But– I–”
“No, you’re not too heavy,” he interrupts, cocking one eyebrow at you. 
There’s not even a chance for you to reject before he lies down and hooks his hands beneath your thighs, hoisting you up and pulling you towards his face. You sit on his chest, barely seeing his chiseled features from under your bump. 
As the position you are in truly settles in your mind, a bright blush starts to cover the apples of your cheeks. His angelic looks don't help either, strands of silver hair splayed out around his head like a halo, and his piercing lilac eyes fixed on you and you only. “But you tell me when it gets too much, no?” you ask, coyly. 
Aemond rubs his hands over your bare thighs in comfort, nodding. “Always.” Deep down you know it’s a lie, because he has told you on more than one occasion that he’d gladly leave the world suffocated by your delicious pussy, but you trust the feigned security he offers. 
“No promises about how long I’ll last, though,” you tell him. 
A gentle pat to your thigh is what has you eventually inching forwards until your knees are on either side of his head. 
With your bump being quite protruding, you can’t even see him anymore, you only hear his groans and growls when you cautiously settle in the new position.
The attempt to slightly hover your pussy over his face is fruitless the moment your husband’s hands fly to your hips, grabbing you and pulling you down onto his face. Just his nose perfectly teasing your clit has you moaning out loudly already, even though he hasn’t even used his tongue yet. 
And then it follows. 
Aemond greedily laps at your entrance as his hands grip your hips tightly, holding you in place and playing you like a fiddle. It circles around your clenching hole, teasing it but never one dipping it inside. 
You clench around nothing, and bring one hand to your bump while the other just rests above his hand on your hip, squeezing it. Chasing the friction and warmth of his tongue, you rock your hips back and forth as much as his grip allows, coaxing whimpers and mewls to leave your lips.
“Gods be good,” you whimper, the grip of your thighs around his face tightening. “I–I forgot how good you are at this.”
Seemingly keening at your praise, you’re almost disappointed when he pulls his hand off of yours to cup your ass cheeks, yanking you impossibly closer. The groans that vibrate against your pussy send shivers up your spine that make you lose yourself in the pleasure, not focusing on where his hands are. 
At this point, Aemond was feasting at you like a man starved, all but devouring you with newfound vigor. His nose flicks against your clit with expert precision every time he tilts his head or you move your hips, drawing you closer to your orgasm. 
His index finger comes into play, teasing your throbbing folds for a split second. His true intentions, however, only show the moment it starts to circle around your other hole. 
“Fuck, Aemond, I-” you manage as he carefully dips his finger into your hole, the added stimulation almost immediately tightening the coil in your belly. A muffled groan of appreciation shakes your core as he feels your unused hole tighten around his finger. 
You roll your hips against Aemond’s mouth on the race to completion, any thoughts of being too heavy for him long gone, and replaced by nothing else than raw need and desire. 
It’s almost too much. Straddling the fine line between overwhelming and just the right amount. His nose rubs your clit, his lips lap hungrily at your swollen folds, and his index finger fills you pleasantly – he is redoubling his efforts. 
You keep dragging your hips back and forth in rhythm with his movements, fucking his face on the brink of your release. 
“Oh God, you-you’re so good– Aemond, I’m–I’m–” you ramble, breathy whimpers filling in between the words. 
Hearing him slurp and groan beneath your trembling frame brings a blush to your face and stokes the fire in your belly, the sounds fanning through the room like your moans and whimpers. 
When the coil finally snaps, you throw your head back in ecstasy and clamp your thighs around his head, hot, white pleasure licking its way up your spine. His name topples off your lips more than once, accompanied by desperate mewls and whines. He is relentless, licking you through your orgasm. 
You don’t wait long enough for the aftershocks to fully subside, the overstimulation of his tongue dragging through your folds becoming too much, and cup your pregnant belly as you heave your frame off of his face, shifting backwards down his body. 
“Fuck, I–I need you,” you all but beg, eagerly tugging on the collar of his black shirt. 
Aemond seems to share your enthusiasm, and is quick to sit up again, meeting your lips for a deep kiss. Only when you cup his cheeks do you feel that they’re covered in your arousal, the taste of you on his tongue clouding your mind. 
Your belly is between you again, but Aemond manages to swiftly undo the zipper in the front of his slacks nevertheless, and shoves them down just enough to free his aching cock. 
“So desperate for my cock now, mh?” Aemond pants against your lips, a smug smirk tugging on the corners. 
His hand wraps around his stiff member, fisting himself raw twice, thrice, before another pat served to your thigh encourages you to raise your hips. He aligns himself with your soaked entrance, and you feel his tip prodding gingerly at it. 
As you sink down on him, your hands tightly gripping the collar of his shirt, you release a shuddered breath. Your husband, on the other hand, escapes a relieved groan, his head tipping back for a moment. 
With your limbs still tingling from your previous orgasm, you bow your head forwards, lowering yourself on him until he is balls deep inside of you. “Mh, fuck, you didn’t even bother to take off your pants,” you taunt, “so desperate to be inside me.”
Aemond’s words die on his tongue as you start to sensually roll your hips over his, the added weight of the bump not allowing you to bounce up and down on him with the vigor you had used before your pregnancy. 
But your husband doesn’t seem to mind, his eyes journeying into the back of his head at the sensation. 
Moving his hands to grope and grasp at every inch of your body, they eventually settle on your full breasts, tweaking and pinching your nipples between his nimble fingers while you unravel astride him. It prompts you to arch your back, all but shoving your breasts into his face. 
“So fucking good,” he grunts, embracing it and wrapping his lips around your pert nipple while his arms snake around your body. 
He licks and sucks at your little bud like he has done with your pussy before, and, just judging by the smacking and humming sounds he makes, it’s possible there ooze a few droplets of milk out of it. 
Aemond places his feet firmly on the ground, and starts to buck his hips up into yours, seemingly impatient for his own release as he meets the sensual rolls of your hips and bullies the spongy spot inside of you with more determination. 
Loud, wet sounds from where your bodies meet echo off the walls, indistinct to you with all you can focus on being his lips at your heavy breasts, and his cock deep inside of you. 
You bite your bottom lip and stop the rolling of your hips, making it evident that you were close to your orgasm. The tingling at the base of your spine makes it impossible to move any further and you rely on him to take over. 
Aemond pulls back and watches you gleefully as the force of his thrusts makes your body squirm and jerk, eagerly anticipating you to topple over the edge for the second time. 
“You’re gonna cum on my cock already?” he asks, almost mockingly. 
You frantically nod, breathing a yes.
His hands come to your hips, and with his fingers digging into your flesh, he drags your hips back and forth, your clit rubbing against the hem of his shirt with each movement. You’re not able to gasp more than yeses and pleases, clenching tightly around him. 
The intensity of his thrusts increases while you have stopped moving, toes curling as the taut string inside of you snaps without a warning and white stars cloud your vision. 
“Mh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whine, clawing at his shoulders as you ride out your high, grinding and rolling your hips against his. Your walls clamp around him like a vice, and he chokes on a husky groan. “Oh God, I love you.“
And even though your orgasm subsides slowly, Aemond refuses to slow down, keeping his heedless pace and pursuing his own completion. 
He has his lips around your other nipple by now, sucking and nibbling on it, the vibrations of his groans coursing through your veins. “Daddy, mh, cum for me, please,” you whine, desperate for his cum. 
Your body, however, contradicts your words and moans, your thighs squeezing his in a desperate attempt to stop him from pounding into your overstimulated pussy – but to no avail. 
“God, please.”
His pace is as reckless and merciless as before, his cock all but forcing its way in and out of your quivering walls as he doesn’t listen to your desperate pleas.
Pulling back from your nipple with a lewd pop, a string of saliva connects the dark areola and his swollen lips as he gazes up at you with half-lidded eyes. “Hush now, Mommy,” he murmurs, tilting his head up to kiss you. The nickname coaxes a smug smirk on his lips. “Taking me so well, such a good girl for Daddy.” With just his praise, a warmth overtakes your body that drowns out the burning, your chest swelling. 
You sling your arms around his neck, burying your fingers in the silver strands of his hair in a way that is destined to ruin the little updo he had put it in this morning. 
“Mh, fuck, I’m gonna–” his words are cut off with a stutter of his hips, and he feels his throbbing cock spill deep inside of you. 
You ride him through his high with lazy rolls of your hips, biting through the overstimulation, and clench and unclench around him as you milk him for every drop of his seed. 
If he hadn’t gotten you pregnant already, he surely would have knocked you up after this. 
Aemond languidly fucks up into you now as the last spurts of his warm release fill you to the brim, grunting and groaning until the euphoria fades. 
He collapses on the bed, a blissed out expression on his face, and reaches to trace his fingers over the swell of your bump up to the curve of your breasts. Rolling the darkened buds between them, he smirks as he watches you squirm, his softening cock still buried inside of you. 
“You know,” he starts, folding one arm behind his head. His voice is softer than before, but has a teasing edge to it. “I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew by now what we’ve been up to.”
You laugh breathlessly and plant your hands on his chest, rubbing your thumbs over it. “But at least they don’t have to worry about you getting me pregnant by accident,” you tease. 
“True enough,” he chuckles softly, “Fuck, I’m–I just can’t help myself. Seeing your body swell just because of my seed fucking does something to me.”
His words make you blush, and you appreciatively run your hands over your bump. 
You lean forwards and cup his face, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. He smirks against your mouth, and subconsciously bucks his hips into yours as he feels you clench around him. 
With a groan rumbling in his chest, he pulls back. Something dark flickers in his eyes, his intentions evident when he speaks again. 
“Once our boy’s born, I’ll make quick work of making you a mother of two.”
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Taglist: @heimtathurs @croatianprincess @nina2697 @sirenangelroyal @malfoytargaryen @thetaygaryen @wintrr13 @winter-soldier-101 @kyuupidwrites @boofy1998 @thekinslayersswordhand @sagelovesreading @jiminie-08 @doublesparrows @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @recorddust @tsujifreya @melsunshine @docmartinis @drwstarkeyy @kazuyatokue @nockerin @moonlightfoxx @bbgmonsay @thatmysteriousblog @ashovertheriver @black-dread @watercolorskyy @nothingqueens @urmomsgirlfriend1 @lovelykhaleesiii @hypocritic-trash-baby @darylandbethfanforever9 @snowystark @goldyfishsstuff @connorsui @ammo23
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totheblood · 1 year
Text
superposition. (one)
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pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader
summary: you've never been on a date, hell, you've never even kissed anyone. ellie decides to be a good best friend and teach you how! wow.. so kind of her..
warnings: 18+, nearly every chapter will have a somewhat sexual element to it (this one is probably the tamest?), cursing, alcohol/drug mention, suggestive themes... cheating if u squint
a/n: i want bff!ellie and that's all... friends to lovers??? fav trope. i hope i do this justice and i hope you guys like it... ai audios at the end as usual
"in every universe, you are my dark star."
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You felt like a fucking loser.
Well, you usually felt like a loser, but as you sat on Dina’s couch researching what to wear on a first date you felt absolutely lame. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been asked out on a date before, it’s just that no one you liked had asked you out on a date before. A girl had never asked you out on a date before. But since the cute girl from your chemistry lab had asked you if you wanted to go to dinner with her, you happily agreed.
You were just… inexperienced and although it never bothered you before as you approached the time for your date you were becoming increasingly more nervous. What to wear, what to order, and what to talk about were all things you were not familiar with and you wanted to be, if anything, overly prepared. So you did the only thing you knew how to: Google it. 
Your feet were tucked under your legs as you sat crisscrossed on the couch. From the living room, you could hear Dina and Jesse laughing in the kitchen as they snacked on whatever they had available in their pantry. Ellie was sat at the dining room table with a scale in front of her, measuring and sorting loose flowers into dime bags. This was what a regular Friday night looked like for your friends. It usually ended in Ellie passing around one of her pre-rolls as you watched a shitty movie Jesse had suggested, but tonight you planned to leave early for your date.
As if Ellie could sense the tension rolling off of you from her place at the table, she plopped herself next to you on the couch, startling you from your anxious state. 
“Jesus, fuck-” You looked at Ellie with wide eyes, her green ones staring back and searching your face as if she was analyzing you. “We need to put a bell on you. You scared the shit out of me.”
“I practically stomped over here, it’s not my fault that whatever-” She gestured back and forth between you and your phone. “Is going on with that stopped you from hearing me.” 
You rolled your eyes at her fully knowing she was right but not wanting to give her that satisfaction. “Yeah, whatever.”
“Soooo,” She began, drawing out the sound as she placed her arm behind you on the couch and leaned into you. “What’s got you all nervous today? I swear whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous.”
You groaned, leaning your head back and into Ellie’s arm. You tilted your head slightly to look at her. She looked comfortable in her grey hoodie, her other hand tucked into the pocket. Her eyes were locked on yours and her eyebrows knit together. She was concerned about you. If the reason you were freaking out wasn’t so juvenile you would be eating this up, but instead you just felt guilty. It annoyed you how well she knew you sometimes.
“It’s so stupid, El.” Your voice came out in a whisper almost as if you were telling her a secret. “You’re gonna laugh at me” Her face softened as she offered you a small smile.
“How much do you wanna bet it’s not stupid?” She leaned her head back on the couch, trying to match your posture. “And if I laugh you have full permission to punch me.” 
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a second. You knew that she would never make fun of you for freaking out over a date, but that didn’t stop you from being reluctant to say it out loud. 
“I have a date tonight.” When you opened your eyes you scanned her face looking for a hint of a smile, something that would tell you not to stress. Instead, you saw a different emotion flicker over her face, something you couldn’t quite place. Shock? No. Sadness? No. Disappointment? Close enough. It didn’t make much sense to you but as quick as it was there, it was gone.
“And?” She didn’t sound annoyed, but she didn’t sound happy for you. For the first time in your life, you were having a difficult time reading her.
“And I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been on a date before.” With your admission, you squinted your eyes causing your nose to scrunch. The reaction you were getting from Ellie was hard to read and you were already beginning to feel extremely embarrassed. When you finally did adjust your vision to look at her she just looked confused.
“Why did I not know you’ve never been on a date?” 
“Cause I never told you.” You laughed, a downturned smile on your face. “Not really the best talking point.” You were trying to lighten the mood but Ellie’s expression never changed.
“I mean, it makes sense.” She casually said. If you were anyone else you may have laughed it off, but the sentence cause a sharp pain in your chest. Your mouth fell open as you gasped and playfully pushed her shoulder.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Her eyes widened as she realized how you took her sentence.
“No, no- fuck. I just mean like you spend all your time with me. You never really talk about anyone, I’m not saying no one would date you cause obviously I know that’s not true, I just mean… I didn’t mean it like that.” She rambled out, a frantic look on her face.
“Damn, Ellie. Tell me how you really felt.” The smile crept back up on her face as she realized you were teasing her.
“So you’ve never been on a date? So what?” She shrugged, trying to steer the conversation back in it’s original direction.
“So I don’t know what to wear, or what to talk about, or howtokiss.” You mumbled the last part of your sentence together hoping she wouldn’t notice, but she was Ellie and she noticed almost everything.
“Wear that pink floral dress you have, the one that makes your boobs look amazing. Talk about yourself, it’s a date, the whole point is to get to know each other. And what was that last thing you said?” When she spoke to you everything she said seemed so casual, but you weren’t like her. You couldn’t brush over the fact that she just told you not only does she know your wardrobe without thinking too much about it, but also makes a note of how you look in them. How your tits look in them. 
“Uhm-” You cleared your throat. “I don’t know how to kiss. I’ve never done it before.” You reluctantly admitted. Again you expected Ellie to laugh at you, but she just stared at you, then your lips. 
“Well, I can show you.” She shrugged, eyes trained on you. Your mouth hung open, unsure of what to do. On one hand, kissing your best friend never seems like a good idea, on the other hand, you could use the practice.
“I mean… now?” You asked, your body heating up in anticipation. She looked completely serious, her lips were a straight line and her body seemed completely calm. She was the complete opposite of you. She slightly got up and leaned over you as she peered into the kitchen, presumably checking for Dina and Jesse. As she sat back down she took another quick glance at your lips. 
“Yeah, now. Just a quick lesson before your date.” She said it matter-of-factly almost as if this would just be a case of a friend helping another friend. Like she was offering to help you move or something. A part of you assumed you were overthinking it. If she was so nonchalant about it, then it must not be a big deal. Right? 
“Yeah, okay. It couldn’t hurt, right?” 
“Don’t think so.” She agreed.
“So, what do I do? Do I just-” You placed your phone on the couch between you before cupping her cheek. Ellie placed her hand that was previously in her pocket over yours and moved your hand down to her thigh before leaning in close to you.
“Just relax, I’ll show you how.” Her voice came out in a whisper that you could feel ghost your lips. You were unsure of when she got so close but you could smell her, feel her short and rapid breaths coming from her nose. If you moved an inch your lips would be on hers, but you decided to let her take control.
Your heart was pounding in your chest as she closed the small gap between your faces and pressed her chapped lips against yours. Your eyelids fluttered closed as you froze, unsure of what to do next. Her hand that was still resting on yours tapped the back of your hand. Almost instinctively you parted your lips and hummed when her tongue tentatively brushed against yours. It almost felt natural, her tongue in your mouth and your hand on your thigh, but as she slowly pulled her face back from you, you suddenly wanted more. 
Your free hand grabbed the back of her head, your lips capturing hers once again. You were fighting to feel her tongue in your mouth again but understood what she wanted when her lips parted. Her hand which had been resting behind your head for a better part of your conversation had made its way down to your waist and gently pulled you into her. Your chests were impossibly close together and every little noise you made caused her to get more and more aggressive. Your whole body was burning and you were attempting to ignore the wetness that was growing at your center, but Ellie just kept going. She guided your hand further up her thigh, humming into your mouth as you brushed your thumb over her inner thigh.
With the hand that was previously trapped in your hair, you steadied yourself with a hand on her shoulder as you pushed her back in an attempt to straddle her. Both your hands had moved. Her hands found their place at the base of your hips and yours were gripping the back of her neck. Her lips felt like fucking magic as she began to suck on your bottom lip. You could feel a tightness in your core, something you were all too familiar with. Your clothed hips ground down on hers, causing her to gasp and break away from you instantly.
“Fuck, fuck. Okay.” She sighed, leaning away from you and gently pushing you away from her. When you got a good look at her her lips were swollen and eyes red and glossy. You wanted to kiss her again, you wanted to relieve the pain you were beginning to feel, but the situation was beginning to set in for you. 
“I can’t believe you’ve never done that before.” She blinked up at you, her hands rubbing at your sides distracting you. Your mind was practically empty. 
“Was I okay?” You asked bashfully, causing her to snort. All she did was lean up and press a kiss to the side of your lips, before pushing you off of her and back onto the couch. 
“You were more than okay, that was-” She stopped herself as she looked at you. Her eyes scanned your face, staying too long on your lips. “I think your date will go great.” Something in her tone seemed solemn, but she had a gentle smile on her face, and her hand was still hoovering the side of your body.
“Thank you.” You said quietly, eyes never leaving her. 
“I should get back to work, and you should go get ready.” She pushed herself off the couch and made her way back to the dining room table, leaving you sitting there licking your lips just for the taste of her. A second after her you got up too, grabbing your bag from the coffee table in front of you. Ellie turned back around to look at you from the table. 
“Wear the dress, and uh-” She stopped to look you up and down. “Text me when you get home tonight.”
ai audios:
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barcaatthemoon · 26 days
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just a kid ii || alexia putellas x teen!reader ||
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alexia and the team meet your girlfriend, who looks oddly familiar.
"chiqui, come on, you promised that you would help with dinner!" alexia yelled from the kitchen. you looked over your outfit one more time, making sure that it was absolutely perfect before you finally walked out of your room. "i swear she spends more time getting ready than mapi does."
"cut her some slack, tonight is a big night," you heard olga defend you. you smiled, glad that alexia's girlfriend was staying for dinner. the last thing you wanted was to accidentally subject your girlfriend to being alone with alexia this early on. carmen was great, and you didn't trust alexia not to scare her off. olga wouldn't let her do that. alexia was always much calmer whenever olga was around.
"i do not take that long," you grumbled as you walked past alexia. she gave you a look, one that you knew meant not to argue with her. truthfully, you did take quite a while to get up and around most days, but whenever you had to do somewhere, you were always the first one dressed. if anything, alexia had a tendency to take a long time getting the little details of her outfits done, even when it was just her kit.
"both of you stop it before this turns into something else. (y/n), you look very beautiful. what time is your girlfriend coming?" olga asked. you knew that she was probably doing most of the cooking. alexia wasn't a bad cook, but she didn't really have the patience to do big meals like this. she'd make something small for you after practice sometimes, but preferred to order in for her actual meals.
"carmen will be here at 7. we'll eat dinner, and then she wanted to take me out," you told them. alexia looked surprised by the addition to dinner. "ale, please."
"i didn't say anything, but if i let you go out, you have to be back in by 9:30," alexia told you. she poked you in the chest, something that earned her a sharp smack to the back of the head from olga.
"i'll be back by your bed time, don't worry nana," you teased. alexia's jaw clenched as she glared daggers into the back of your head. things had been much calmer since the night you had gotten caught sneaking out. you hadn't really had a conversation about what happened, or why you had gotten so scared, but neither you nor alexia knew how to initiate that.
"one of these days…" alexia grumbled. you chose to ignore her, opting to do what you saw that you could in the kitchen. you didn't mess with anything that looked like it would stain your clothes. alexia set the table while olga finished getting everything ready. you went downstairs to walk carmen up whenever you got the text that she had arrived, just barely managing to talk alexia out of coming with you.
"hi," you greeted your girlfriend. carmen put her arm around you as she leaned in to kiss you. you were beyond nervous about alexia and carmen meeting, but even more so about carmen meeting the rest of the team. whenever you had first signed onto barcelona and started playing, some of the girls had teased you about your very obvious crush on jenni. even jenni had caught onto it, but she had always been nice about it, knowing that it was probably just your hormones. once they met carmen, who admittedly looked an awful lot like jenni, you knew that it would start up again.
"are you ready, mi amor?" carmen asked you.
"maybe a few more seconds of peace," you told her. she nodded, leaning in to press another kiss to your lips. you knew that you couldn't take too long or else alexia would definitely come down there to check on you. so, you opted for moving your little kissing session into the elevator. you were still pressed against each other, obviously engrossed in one another when the doors opened.
"ahem," alexia cleared her throat, causing both of you to jump apart. carmen didn't let you get too far though, holding onto your hand proudly as you were face to face with your guardian. "i was just about to see what the hold up was. everything is ready at the table."
"okay, thank you ale," you said. you tugged carmen along, careful not to let go of her hand as you did so. you had hoped that you'd be able to sit next to carmen, but alexia set the tables up so that you were forced to sit by either olga or her.
"hola," carmen greeted olga. you took the seat next to alexia, noting the frown on the older woman's face as you did. "i'm carmen."
"hola, i'm olga. this is alexia," olga said. you were grateful for her, especially as she steered the conversations over dinner. alexia had been quiet, but polite, allowing for olga to coax more and more information out of carmen throughout the night.
they learned that carmen was in school and played as captain for her school's rugby team. you had met carmen at one of the local gyms that patri and pina took you to during the offseason. alexia hated to admit it, but she really approved of carmen for you. the girl was responsible, and was on the path to playing for her sport's national team, something that alexia admired greatly.
"carmen, come with me, let's have a little chat," alexia said as she motioned towards the balcony. you felt yourself tense up as your girlfriend walked out there with alexia. they shut the door behind them, but you could see them both leaning against the railing as they spoke.
"she's a good one," olga said as she watched them. you smiled and nodded, having known that carmen was good for you for quite some time. there were moments when you thought she deserved someone who could be a little more present, but now that you didn't have to sneak around, you hoped things would change. "alexia approves of her, i can tell."
"really?" you didn't mean to sound so surprised, but you couldn't help it. alexia had driven off quite a few different people who seemed interested in you before, claiming that you didn't need to be dating while you were in the season. and if it wasn't that, she was going on about how you were too young for that sort of thing. "i was scared that she'd be upset about carmen being older."
"two years isn't bad," olga told you. you had turned 16 just a couple of months ago, and carmen had turned 18 barely two weeks ago. she had just gotten her license whenever she came to pick you up, having ridden around on her bike to see you before that. "you two look cute together, but i must say, she looks a little familiar."
"maybe you've seen her at work. carmen works at a coffee shop," you said. olga shook her head, smiling to herself. "i don't know where else you would have seen her then."
"no, no, not like that. she just looks sort of like someone i've met before." olga shot you a teasing smile, but didn't elaborate any more. she looked like she was about to say something else when carmen and alexia came back inside, the two of them laughing about something together.
"are you ready to go? i was thinking we could get ice cream. alexia just wants you back before 11," carmen told you. you glanced over at alexia, shocked that she had extended your curfew by almost two hours. you nodded and ran over to give alexia a hug goodbye, the woman more than a little surprised by the affection. carmen walked you out of the apartment after that, both of you in a good mood after such a successful introduction.
"she looks like jenni," olga noted. alexia nodded, smirking as she pulled her phone out. "what are you doing?"
"seeing if jenni has any family in barcelona. that's freaky," alexia answered. olga rolled her eyes, thinking that alexia was being way too dramatic.
"relax," alexia told you as she noticed you glance up at the stands for the tenth time in half as many minutes. "she's probably went to get something to eat. we're not even playing right now."
"i know, but i don't want her to miss my goal," you told her. alexia shook her head as she wrapped her arm around your shoulders. you kept your eyes back on the stand, smiling when you finally saw carmen return. she was sitting with olga and alexia's family, the group having immediately accepted her in as if she was one of their own.
you had waited a little over a week from introducing carmen to alexia and olga before you decided to bring her to a game. carmen meeting alba had been an accident, the two of them running into each other in alexia's apartment building. alba had practically come sprinting up to alexia's apartment to tell alexia all about the "jenni clone" in the lobby. you had rolled your eyes, despite knowing that was what initially attracted you to carmen in the first place.
"where is she going?" irene asked as she watched you sprint straight over to the stands. everybody was watching as you effortlessly jumped the barrier. alexia shook her head as you jumped over a few rows of chairs to get to carmen. she cradled your face as she gently kissed you before alba and eli took your attention. "she's dating, and you're okay with it?"
"apparently, she's been dating, but yeah, i am okay with it. her name is carmen, and she's very nice. (y/n) and her seem very happy. i hope they're together for a long time." alexia wouldn't have let herself get so sappy with anybody else, but she trusted her co-captain to keep it under wraps.
"they certainly do look like quite the couple. hmm, they kind of remind me of another couple…" irene trailed off, nudging alexia as she did. alexia rolled her eyes as she moved forward to join you. you brought carmen down to the pitch to meet some of your teammates, and by the time alexia got over there, jana, claudia, ona, and patri were all crowded around the young couple.
"you already know alexia, but that's irene. she's another one who tries to keep me away from these three." you were excitedly introducing carmen to as many of your teammates as you could, the older girl watching you in amusement. "oh shit, i forgot to ask, did you like the game? i scored a goal for you."
"i loved it, mi amor, it was great," carmen promised you. she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, prompting you to curl into her side. "hola, i'm carmen."
"irene, nice to meet you." irene watched in amusement as you dragged carmen all around the pitch to meet everybody that she could. "oh to be young and in love again."
"so, who is sending a picture to jenni?" ona asked. patri seemingly volunteered herself, walking right up to you and carmen to snap a picture of the three of you together. it was sent off, and alexia noticed the immediate 'read' without a reply.
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pelova4president · 25 days
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Wingteam
Grace Clinton x Reader
Summary~ You thought you could trust Beth with your secret crush… you thought wrong.
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“No Beth, i don’t like her!” you groaned. Why did they always do this to you. Everyone had their suspicions about your crush on the young Spurs talent but they didn’t have to out you like that, in front of the girl herself. You looked away from Grace with red cheeks and gave Beth a warning look.
Beth’s been a sort of mom to you. You stayed at her house when you started playing for the blue and white club. You were just sixteen and your parent lived at least four hours away. Traveling to training every day just wasn’t realistic like that so Beth took you in.
It’s been three years since then and you’ve finally moved out. Beth still had a room ready for you when you wanted to stay over but you both knew it would be better for you if you got your own apartment.
Your captain’s always been noisy. When you lived with the player she was asking for all your latest school and relationship drama. Most times you gave in and told her the gossip but you held some information to yourself, like some of your crushes. But now that you don’t share an apartment anymore she got even more noisy, she felt like she didn’t get all the details of your life so she was digging deep for your secrets.
Beth had invited you over for dinner one evening in the hopes to get an update on your seemingly dead love life. As soon as she opened the door she was asking you the most out of pocket questions.
“So you’ve got a crush hm?” she grinned. Ofcourse she knew you had a crush on someone but you had to deny. “Don’t know what you’re talking about old lady.” you shrugged her off, walking into the living room. Beth rolled her eyes at your nickname but didn’t give up.
“I know you’ve got one, come on tell me. I’m basically your mom by now. You’ve got to tell me kid.” she argued. Beth was pulling the ‘i raised you card’ and you had to give in to her. “Whatever, yeah so what? You’ve had crushes too.” you drowned in her couch cushions.
“I knew it! Oh my god is it someone from the team?” you blushed at that, how did she fucking know. “No way! It is! Is it Celin? Wait no no, is it Lenna? Oh my god is it Clinton..” you looked down. Beth’s mouth fell open, “No fucking way.. your crush is Grace Clinton.” she gasped.
“Don’t fucking tell anyone Bethany England. You may act like my mom but you’re not mom enough to go around and tell everyone and their gran my secrets.” you sighed. Why did you even come over in the first place.
“You know me, i wouldn’t tell a soul!” she said, her hand moving to her heart offended. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “Yeah, right..”
And just like you expected she just couldn’t keep your secret to herself. In no time Martha knew and told Rebecca who told Rosella and she basically told the whole team. And now you had to deal with their teasing too.
After winning a big North London derby a few of the girls went out to celebrate, including the smiling girl you’ve had your eyes on. And just like always, after a few shots and drinks Celin demanded everyone had to play a game.
“Everyone! Truuuuuuth or dare now.” she yelled across the room. It was hard to not participate or to get out of it since Celin and Grace would literally force you to sit down and play along.
Most of your older teammates had already gone home to their partners, boring. So you sat down in between Charlie and Lenna who had joined you earlier. Grace and Celin sat across from you, together like always.
Sometimes that made you a little jealous but you knew Celin had a boyfriend and Grace probably didn’t like her like that. And Lenna told you Grace saw Celin as her bestfriend, they were like sisters.
When Celin had everyone sitting in a circle the fun could begin. She dared Rosella to down two shot at the same time.
Lenna got asked who she wouldn’t let her kid date and after a bit of poking for an answer she said Celin. Charlie had to tell everyone her worst sex story, and surely no one could top that.
When it was Beth’s turn to ask someone she chose you. She was out to get you and you knew it. “Hmm truth or dare, pipsqueak?” she asked. She knew you absolutely hated that name, she was just trying to embarrass you.
It didn’t matter what you would chose, none of the options would be in your favour. “I hate you, dare.” you murmured under your breath. “Sorry, didn’t hear you there. Speak up.” she grinned from ear to ear.
“I said dare” you repeated. You didn’t think her smile could get any bigger but it was taking up her whole face now. What was she gonna say…
“Hmmm.. what should i say…” your captain pretended to think. “I dare you to… play seven minutes in heaven with…” she was teasing you, you knew it. This fucking hag. Beth was really playing out a whole theatre performance. She was looking around the room, pointing with her fingers until her pointer stopped. Grace.
“I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with Clinton.” she finished. You looked at your older teammate like she had just murdered your cat.
“You’ve already rejected your last truth so you can’t back out of this one.” your new Australian teammate reminded you.
You looked at Grace with pink cheeks. Grace gave you a shy smile and nodded, signalling she’d participate.
As you walked towards the nearest door you heard your football mom shout. “Have fun! But not too much!” did she really have to embarrass you so much in front of your crush..
Grace opened the door for you like a real gentlewoman. When she closed the door you looked at each other for a bit. You didn’t know what to say so you became red, your ears felt like they were on fire.
“Look, if you don’t want to do anything we can just talk for the next few minutes. All good.” the blonde spoke up. You looked up at Grace and knew that this was probably the best chance you would ever get. That and Beth would probably murder you if you didn’t make a move.
“I do not not want to kiss you.” you whispered softly but loud enough to reach the ears of the English girl. “Hmm, what’d you say. Didn’t really hear you?” she grinned.
Looking at her face you could see she had heard exactly what you had said. But how could you resist such a pretty face with those beautiful eyes and cute freckles. “We can kiss.” you spoke, this time louder.
Grace took that as her chance to take your face into her hands. Her thumb was tracing your bottom lip until you looked her in the eyes. “That’s all i needed to hear pretty girl.” she breathed.
Her pink lips finally touched yours. She was sweet just like you had imagined. She deepened the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth. Grace was rough this time, biting your lip and exploring your body with her hands.
And when the two of your broke the kiss, completely out of breath she spoke again. “Fuck, how much i’ve been wanting to do that. Seeing you staring at me in training gets me so worked up and you just didn’t seem to make a fucking move. Had to do it all myself hmm.” she laughed.
“Beth’s done half the work. You’ve got such a big ego Clinton, give the granny some credit.” you rolled your eyes.
Still, you’d never admit that Beth has actually helped you with all her secret spilling.
graceclinton_x
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liked by alessia and 109.728 others
had to do everything myself to get this girl
comments
y/n_y/l/n you’ve got such a big ego 😒
↳ graceclinton_x you love it tho 🫶
↳ y/n_y/l/n no, i don’t.
↳ graceclinton_x no need to lie love, i know you do
lennagw finally!!!!!! done with this shit
↳ charli_grant me too couldn’t see that shit show for an extra day
↳ y/n_y/l/n grace wasn’t that bad..
↳ charli_grant … wasn’t talking about grace
celinbizet she’s stolen my bestie
↳ graceclinton_x don’t worry, you can be the third wheel :)
↳ celinbizet fuck you grace clinton
bethanyengland4 all thanks to me, yet again
↳ graceclinton_x i’ve done all the hard work, i’ll give you 50% creds max
A/N made the fic different than i wanted but yeah didn’t have much inspiration
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jeneveuxrein · 5 months
Text
safety net [2/2] (BLACKPINK Rosé)
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word count: 25.8K
part 1 (14.8K) | part 2 (11K)
(yeah, lol)
Self-loathing has always been something you’ve done. It was likely the result of never being good enough for your parents even when you delivered on every single expectation they’ve had for you. 
At this current point in your life, you hate yourself for the situation you blindly agreed to. 
It’s been about a month since Rosie disturbed your peace in the library, asking if you’d teach her how to have sex, which translates into having sex with her. 
You haven’t had sex yet, but you’ve done everything else a lot. Rosie has been eager to finally do it, but there’s something that always stops you. She gets frustrated, but you eat her out, quickly bringing her to an orgasm, and all is forgotten until next time. You sense her getting impatient, but you’re scared that once you finally do, that’ll be it. 
And it’s been nice spending all this time with her. You see her pretty much every day. The only times you don’t is if she has to finish a project or if she has a date with Soohyun. When it’s the latter, you get all broody, but your mood immediately changes when she messages you as soon as she’s home. 
Rosie doesn’t tell you much about the dates unless you ask. She has shared that they’ve exchanged a couple kisses here and there, but she often compares Soohyun to you—too much teeth, too aggressive, too… everything she’s not used to. It goes straight to your ego because how could it not. 
The physical aspect of your relationship aside, you two are actually getting along. You still bicker, but it doesn’t end with her yelling anymore. 
Rosie’s a catch, which is understandable based on the amount of people that want to be with her. She’s funny. She’s kind. She’s driven. She’s sometimes in her own world, that you often get lost with her when she rambles on about her day. She’s someone you could see yourself with if it was under different circumstances. 
You hear your name being called, breaking you out of your thoughts as you stare at your computer screen. You see Rosie approaching you with Jisoo, waving as the other woman looks bored already. 
“Hey Rosie,” You greet affectionately. “Jisoo.” 
Jisoo gives you a wave, smiling, as Rosie walks behind your chair. 
“Whatcha working on?” Rosie peeks over your shoulder. 
It’s an expense report that your father sent you to look over, but you’ve been swamped with exams coming up. 
“Just work stuff,” You answer, stretching your arms and letting out a yawn. “Are you done with your project?” 
“Yeah, Jisoo and I were going to grab dinner but I wanted to find you before we left,” Rosie ruffles your hair. “I’ll come by after though?” 
Jisoo makes a gagging sound, earning a glare from the woman behind you. 
“Sure, I’ll be home around 8. I have a game today,” You inform her, checking the time. 
“Oh what? You should’ve told me, I would’ve came,” Rosie sounds disappointed. 
“It’s alright, I probably won’t play that much anyways,” You send her an easy smile. “I’ll see you later.” 
Rosie nods, blowing you a kiss that has you blushing while Jisoo makes the sound again. She grunts when Rosie hits her arm, a quick bye before getting dragged away. 
You watch their figures get smaller, suddenly missing Rosie that you can’t focus anymore on work. You sigh, shaking your head, deciding that you’ll just shoot around before your game. 
--
“Why,” Rosie tears her lips away from yours, tilting her head back that you attack her neck. “Won’t you have sex with me?” She pants when you suck on her skin, careful to not leave a mark because he might see it. 
“Are you in a rush?” You murmur, hand sneaking underneath her blouse to palm her breast. 
“Well—no,” She gasps when you gently pinch her nipple. “I just think I’m ready. We’ve done a lot and I—fuck.”
“You what?” You continue your ministrations on her chest, massaging each breast with equal attention. 
“I’ve been thinking about how you’d feel inside me,” You stop and she squirms underneath you. 
If you weren’t hard enough before, you’re about ready to bust through your briefs. 
You pull back, staring at her. Your mind’s going a mile a minute because you weren’t expecting to actually follow through tonight. 
“I want this with you,” Rosie whispers, sitting up slightly to kiss you on the lips. “If anything hurts, I’ll tell you.” 
Fuck fuck okay. It’s go time and you couldn’t talk yourself out of this. 
“Okay,” You nod, kissing her forehead. “Are you sure?” You have to ask one more time. 
“Yes,” Rosie tugs her blouse over her head, leaving her completely nude. “You’re overthinking this.” 
You are, but for reasons she doesn’t know. You don’t even know yourself. You’re acting as if it’s your first time. 
“Kiss me,” And you do, resting your weight on top of her. 
It’s slow and sensual, her lips soft on your as you trail your hand between her legs. You swipe a finger in between her folds to check and she’s wet. She moans at the contact, rolling her hips for more contact. You repeat the movement just to be sure. You’ve been told that you’re above average in the size department, and you don’t want her to be in any pain. 
Rosie gets impatient, tugging your waistband down to free your cock. You groan when her hand wraps around you, stroking you gently as you kick the material off. 
When you deem her wet enough, you meet her hand with yours, guiding your cock in between her lips. Your body screams at you to enter her, but instead with your control quickly slipping, you run your length in between, moaning at the first contact of her pussy. 
“Stop teasing,” Rosie pants, body trembling beneath you as you rock your hips. 
“I’m sorry,” You’re really not. You don’t know what comes over you, but you lean back, spreading her legs wider as you grip your cock, spreading the precum over. “I need to get a condom.” You reach over to your nightstand, but she stops you. 
“Have you had sex with anyone since?”
“No,” You’ve been too wrapped up in her that any woman that you’ve seen at a party or hooked up with previously hasn’t been on your mind. 
“Then no condom, I’m on the pill,” Rosie says softly. 
You stare at her for a moment, heart pounding against your chest at what she’s offering. Rationale goes out the window because even though you’ve had a condom rule for the past year, you’d love to feel her without one. 
“Trust me?” Rosie bites her lip, nodding, eyes locked at your cock as you rest the head at her entrance. “Tell me if it’s too much.” 
You take a breath, more for your sake, as your cock slowly enters her. Her hands shoot to your hip, stopping your movement instantly. 
You’ve barely made any headway, but from what you’re feeling so far is too much for you to handle. She’s warm, wet, and tight as her body tenses at the intrusion. You keep reminding yourself to go slow because this is still her first time and going at the pace your body is telling you to would not be fair to her. 
“Holy shit,” Rosie gasps as her hands move to grip your arms. “Keep going,” She breathes slowly, catching her breath as you press your hips slightly forward. 
Her heat envelops you, applying a delicious pressure the deeper you go. You glance down at where your bodies are joined and you’re barely halfway there. 
What you want to do is snap your hips forward, completely, but you’re aware of Rosie’s breathing and expressions for any signs of discomfort. 
Though that awareness is quickly getting lost. 
“Are you all the way?” Rosie asks weakly, eyes scrunched closed. 
“Uh, almost?” You’re able to say as you gently rock back and forth to get your cock inside more. “How are you feeling?” 
“It’s—fuck—not bad, but there’s just a lot of pressure,” Rosie breathes out. 
Tell me about it. 
You distract her by kissing her all over, keeping your rhythm as her body relaxes to take more of you in. Her nails scratch at your arms, but you’d take a little bit of pain any day. 
You don’t realize it, but in no time, you’re fully sheathed by her heat, letting out a whimper when you see your cock disappear inside her. 
“You doing okay?” You grunt, burying your face into her neck to keep yourself from cumming right then and there. 
“Yeah,” Rosie sighs, experimenting by squeezing her inner walls around you. 
“You’re so hot,” You murmur, trailing kisses along her neck. “Your pussy feels so good around me, you’re taking me so well.” Her body responds to your words—interesting—as she spreads her legs wider to take you in. “You like hearing how you make me feel, huh?” Rosie can only nod, tipping her head back.
You lean back, slowly pulling your hips back, and watch, entranced, as your cock slides out. It’s covered in her slick, and you’ve never seen anything hotter. You let out a sigh as you feel her contract around the tip. She moans and something snaps inside you that you suddenly thrust back in. 
Rosie screams at the pressure, letting out a filthy moan that has you groaning. Your body moves on its own accord, slowly pumping your cock in and out of her pussy that has you seeing stars. 
“Fuck, baby,” She moans, pants, as she starts to babble nonsense as her walls accommodate to your girth. “You feel so good.”
You try not to pay attention to the pet name, but it only spurs you on more.
Her walls rhythmically squeeze every time you bottom out. It doesn’t stop you. It makes you chase the feeling, an addiction that you wouldn’t mind having. 
You lose yourself in her body, watching her bite her lip and lose her breath as she grabs onto the sheets. Hearing your name fall from her lips wakes something up in you.The sounds she makes drive you to thrust into her, and when you hit a certain spot inside, she demands you don’t stop. You don’t break rhythm as she squirms. You grab her hips, letting out groans of your own as you feel your orgasm coming. 
“Chaeng,” Your hips falter as her pussy contracts after a particularly hard thrust, “I’m gonna cum.” 
“Inside,” Rosie locks eyes with you, “Cum inside me.” 
Your resolve snaps as you thrust wildly into her, chasing your orgasm as you feel the start of hers, walls squeezing your cocks so tightly you feel lightheaded. You feel her nails digging into your skin, holding onto like her life depends on it.
“Yes, yes,” Rosie chants like a song as her head snaps back, showing her neck as her body is wracked with pleasure.
Cum shoots from your cock inside her, painting her inner walls white, groaning as you rut into her. Your brain shuts off as you fall on top of her. She doesn’t seem to mind as she wraps her arms around you, placing soft kisses all over your face. You hear a contented sigh from her as you gasp for air. 
When you come to your senses, you automatically kiss Rosie on the lips—a simple, sweet one—as you catch her breath against your lips. She tries to deepen it, but you pull away, smiling softly as you fully take her in. Your heart has never felt so loud. 
“Hi,” You say quietly. 
“Hey yourself,” Rosie returns your smile. 
“You okay?” You glance down where you’re still connecting, hoping—praying—you weren’t too rough. 
“A little sore, but never better.” 
“ I wasn’t too rough right?”
“Nope,” Rosie shakes her head. 
You gently pull out, watching her face wince, but she lets out a quiet moan when your softened cock brushes against her clit. 
“Sorry!” You rush out, falling next to her as she chuckles. 
“Stop,” Rosie lightly slaps your arm, bringing it to rest on her stomach. 
“Sorry,” You mumble again. 
“I feel it leaking,” Rosie states simply, sitting up to look in between her legs. You join her and see a dribble of your cum peak through her folds. “That’s kind of hot.”
“Chaeng,” You groan, the image of what’s between her legs etched in your mind forever. 
“It is,” Rosie nudges your shoulder, laughing. “I’m exhausted. I hope I’m not too sore tomorrow, I have to carry a bunch of things to the studio.”
“I’ll help you.”
“Like actually?” Rosie sinks back into the pillow, turning to face you. 
You nod. 
“You don’t even have classes tomorrow?” 
“I know, but I’ll take you to school with all your stuff,” You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t help her, knowing that she’ll likely be sore because of you. That wouldn’t sit well with you. 
Rosie kisses you on the cheek, smiling before snuggling into you. It all feels very relationship-y, spiking your anxiety because you’re more attached to her than you ever intended. 
And that scares you the most. 
--
“Thanks Eunbi,” You send a grateful smile to the girl sitting across from you as you’re finishing up the group project that completely slipped your mind. 
“It’s fine oppa,” Eunbi laughs. “It’s a low-stakes project anyways.”
“Still,” You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself more than anything. “I would’ve literally forgotten about it if you didn’t say anything.” 
You and Eunbi were assigned as partners for a project that wasn’t worth much towards your grade, but it was supposed to help with the semester project that was worth your entire grade. Eunbi was someone you interacted with frequently, sharing the same classes, but spending the past couple days with her has kept your mind off a certain someone (who you’ve been actively avoiding for the past few days)z
The day after you and Rosie had sex, you did drop her off at school, carrying all her things to the studio so she wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Naturally, people saw you together, creating a small rumor about you dating. It freaked you out because everyone is aware of her and Soohyun that you needed to distance yourself from her. 
Of course, without her realizing what you’re doing. But Rosie was perceptive, so sooner or later, she’ll confront you. 
“Are you doing anything right now?” Eunbi asks after she finished packing her belongings. 
“Uh no?” 
“Did you want to get dinner?” 
“Sure why not,” You shrug because you’re not doing anything wrong, but why did you suddenly feel a weight on your shoulders? 
Eunbi smiles, and she’s pretty. She knows it too, but she doesn’t let that get to her head. She is someone you haven’t gone out with or slept with, so it couldn’t hurt to spend a little bit more time with her outside of school work. 
Right?
Wrong. 
The universe has a funny way of making things happen. 
As you’re exiting the library, Rosie’s outside. You try to avoid her, but she looks up at the right moment, eyes narrowing, and stomps her way over to you. 
“Seriously?” Is all she says, glancing behind you to see who you’re with. 
“What?” Your wall’s up, especially with people passing by. You pray to a higher being that she doesn’t make a scene. 
“You know what,” Rosie huffs, crossing her arms. 
“Uh, oppa,” Eunbi says before you could respond to the woman seething in front of you. “We can have dinner another time.” 
You turn your head, and Eunbi has an understanding smile on her face, nodding encouragingly while you feel the metaphorical daggers stabbing the side of your face. 
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you around okay?” Eunbi’s eyes crinkle, nodding politely at Rosie before walking away. 
Once Eunbi’s a good few meters away, Rosie tugs on your arm, “Seriously, what the fuck? You’ve been avoiding me.” 
Okay so maybe you haven’t been handling this the best. You’ve intentionally missed her phone calls and blatantly ignored her messages. You don’t know if it’s because of how you feel towards her, which you’re still trying to figure out, or if it’s because you thought that it was a one-time thing. 
“Can we not do this here?” You offer weakly, and her jaw noticeably clenches. 
“Fine,” Rosie relents, shaking her head, cursing you under her breath before walking towards the parking lot.
--
You’re sitting on the couch, watching Rosie pace back and forth across your living room. She didn’t say much to you on the car ride over except that she was playing music. She grunted a thanks when you opened the door for her, opting to change into more comfortable clothes, leaving her some on your bed in case she wanted to change. 
Other than that, she hasn’t said anything else. 
“Did you want me to cook something?”
No response, the sound of Rosie’s feet continues to shuffle on the hardwood. 
“You know,” Rosie stops in front of the window, back towards you as she looks out at the night city skyline, “I spent the last three days wracking my brain over why you weren’t talking to me.” 
“I can–” Rosie shakes her head, prompting you to not say anything more. 
“I thought everything between us was going well. Yeah we still bicker, but we aren’t arguing like we used to. We had sex. I thought it was great aside from the expected soreness, but then you just ghost me,” Thankfully she doesn’t see you wince. “I was like there’s no way he’s going to treat me like I’m one of his usual fucks, right? He has to have more respect for me.” Rosie turns around, eyes narrowed as she walks towards you. 
“Rosie–”
“I thought about it more and I even talked about it with Lisa and Jennie because I needed someone, anyone really, to make sure I wasn’t going crazy,” Rosie stands in between your legs, crossing her arms. “Lisa being Lisa said that I was overthinking it too much, but do you want to know what Jennie said?” 
“What?” You gulp, gaze locked on hers. 
“Since you and Jennie had a fling, or whatever,” You detect something off in her tone when she says that, but if you point it out, she’ll yell at you. “She said that maybe you had feelings for me.”
Fucking Jennie. 
“I called it absurd because it’s you and me. We set the rules, which for what it’s worth, we broke a couple of them, but that’s the one we absolutely couldn’t break,” Rosie’s eyes narrow, searching your face for truth. You hoped you weren’t giving anything away, but you weren’t too sure. 
Sentences weren’t forming under her intense gaze, so you could only nod. 
“I have to ask, do you have feelings for me?” Rosie asks point blank. 
Yes is the short answer. 
The long answer is much more complicated for you to put into words because you’re admitting to yourself that you do, and that’s what’s fucking you up more. 
“No.”
“No? Then why were you avoiding me? I called. I texted. I had half the mind of just coming over here to curse you out, but Jennie stopped me,” Her shoulders drop, defeated, as the hurt breaks through her façade. 
“I figured you were done with me,” You say softly. 
“Why would you think that?” Rosie kneels in between your legs, resting her hands on your thighs. Your brain short circuits because it’s a very familiar position that your body has become very conditioned to. 
“We had sex, isn’t that what you wanted? To just get it over with?” 
“Well yeah,” Rosie folds her arms, cradling her face in her hands as she stares at you. “But I still want to do more things with you. Soohyun and I have gone on a few dates, but we aren’t anything official.” 
“When he asks you out, that’s when this,” You gesture between your bodies, “Will be over?” 
Rosie nods, “It would make the most sense right? I would be cheating on him if we continued doing things and I called him my boyfriend.”
It stings to hear that more than you thought it would, but you swallow that, pushing it deep down. 
“That’s true. You’ll tell me when that happens?” You ask. You need to prepare yourself for a heartbreak you weren’t expecting. 
“You’ll be the first to know when he asks me out,” Rosie moves, straddling your lap. “But for now, I want to do things with you,” She grounds her hips down, showing you exactly what she wants to do. 
“Yeah?” Your cock starts to awaken, hardening as your hands grip her thighs. “Like what?” 
“Ride you,” Rosie brings her lips to yours, murmuring, “I’m not sore anymore.” 
You groan, mind clouded with her body bouncing on your cock—a very imminent reality as she pulls her top over her head, leaving her completely nude from the waist up.
“Go ahead, Chaeng,” You whisper against her lips, letting her take control of the night. 
And you know you’ll be absolutely fucked out by the end of it. 
--
--
Your hand contacts the flesh of her thigh, a loud smack rings through your room. 
“Fuck baby,” Rosie moans loudly, rolling her hips back, trying to get your cock where she needs you most. 
“Do you deserve it?” You bend forward, kissing her neck sweetly. 
“Yes,” She pants, nodding obediently, squirming in your grip as she continues her movement, brushing your cock in between her lower lips. 
Another loud smack echoes as Rosie nearly screams when you aim your cock at her opening, entering her in one swift thrust.
“Good girl,” You whisper, leaning back before watching your cock pull out just enough where your tip stays within her warmth. 
“Please,” Rosie turns her head around, biting her lip, nodding that she’s more than okay. You feel her walls contract on your tip, a groan falling from your lips before you thrust back in. 
You start off slow, wanting to savor this because whether Rosie knows it or not, this is the last time for this to happen. 
Another month has gone by and Soohyun still hasn’t asked her out. Everyone knows they’re an item, but it hasn’t happened—yet. 
Though everyone—besides her friends—doesn’t know that you fuck her every time after their dates. 
The universe still never works in your favor, so you just happened to be in line to get coffee behind Soohyun and one of his friends before you had class. They spoke loud enough for you to hear his friend ask Soohyun when he was going to ask Rosie to be his girlfriend officially. Curiosity got the best of you, and when Soohyun said tomorrow after dinner, you knew you had to see her tonight. 
It wasn’t out of the routine for you to see Rosie after school, but it was out of the routine for you to ask. You hardly initiated it because you didn’t want to assume, but the few times you did, it was because of your parents’ pressuring you to join them on an overseas trip to Japan to meet with the Nakamuras. You were overly stressed out and Rosie conditioned you to go to her to release any frustrations you had. 
Was she surprised when you walked up to her in front of her roommates? No, because you were friends with them too. Was she surprised when you asked if she wanted to come over tonight? You weren’t sure, but you saw her head tilt, questioning before answering sure. You ignored the smirks that formed on their faces. 
Rosie knew something was up the moment you pushed her against the front door as soon as it shut, dragging your lips across her neck. 
“Everything okay?” Rosie asked in between breaths, letting out a squeak when you grabbed one of her legs, wrapping it around your waist. 
“Yeah,” You answered, ignoring your thoughts as you grounded your hips over hers. 
She didn’t ask anything else, moaning softly as you sucked on her collarbone, lifting her other leg to carry her to your room.
Rosie’s inner walls tighten along your cock on every pull out, and she moans, chest heaving as she takes your cock. Her body quivers in your hands as you saw yourself in and out, in and out. 
“Baby,” The pet name falls from her lips. She only calls you it when your balls deep in her, and it spurs you on every single time. “You feel so good.”
“You’re a good girl,” You murmured, pressing your chest against her back. You stop your movements, leaving your length fully sheathed inside, “Show me what good girls do.”
Rosie lets out a small whine, squirming as she moves her body along your cock. Her hips gyrating on yours has you seeing stars, moaning in her ear. Her pussy tightens, rubbing itself over and over, and you scoff, knowing she found the special spot inside of her. 
One hand slaps her ass, and she stops. 
You’ve learned a lot about Rosie this past month. She may mouth off at you a lot in public, but behind closed doors, she’s obedient as ever, tapping into a side of you you hadn’t been since Nayeon. You both soon realized, after a particularly long night together, that it was something you both enjoyed with each other. Whenever she was particularly bratty, especially with her friends there, it would rile you up a lot. 
“Good girls don’t cum first,” You say flatly. “Guess we stop now.” You slowly pull out before her hand reaches for yours, stopping your exit. 
“No no no,” Rosie whines, vigorously shaking her head. “I’m sorry, you just feel too good.”
“Selfish,” You click your tongue, shaking your head. 
“Baby please,” Rosie begs. She squeezes her inner walls on what’s remaining inside her, a dangerous trick she learned quickly, that has you groaning, slipping your length back inside. “Oh shit,” She moans at being filled.
“Fuck fine,” You relent, but you had other plans for her. You stand upright. You reach for her long blonde hair, tugging with enough force to pull her back against your chest. “But I’m fucking your pussy. This,” You snap your hips against hers, “Is mine. Right?”
Eyes widening, Rosie nods enthusiastically, “Yes baby yes.” 
“Mine?” You snap your hips again, watching her breasts bounce. 
“Yes,” She moans. 
“Say it.” 
Her hand turns your head towards her, bringing you in for a lustful kiss, tongues dancing as she moans, yours, into your mouth. 
You suddenly drop the grip on her hair, her body falling onto the bed, taking you with her. You fall on top of her prone form and start hammering into her pussy. 
You hope her screaming doesn’t get you a noise complaint, but if it does, you don’t give a flying fuck. Especially with the pressure her pussy is, squeezing your cock for all you have. 
“Fuck you’re so good,” Rosie bites into her lip, eyes rolling back as she grips the sheets, crumpling in her hand. “So fucking good,” She repeats in between moans.
“You’re being good for me,” Her pussy tightens at the praise. “Keep being good for me.”
Your hands grip her ass, drilling your cock into her, and something snaps inside of you when she screams. 
“Fuck this pussy’s mine,” You groan against her tangled hair. 
“Yours, yours, yours—oh fuck,” Rosie chants, eyes shooting open as her orgasm surprises you both. 
You feel your cock get pushed out as Rosie begins to squirt against your body, and she fucking gushes.
You’ve never made a girl squirt before, and Rosie has never had such a bodily reaction. You feel a streak of possessiveness rolls through your body. You shove your cock through her wetness, and you feel another rush of liquid as you wildly thrust in and out of her body.
“Fuck Chaeng,” You moan, your mind screaming mine mine, as your orgasm hits, shooting your load deep inside her. It must’ve triggered another orgasm because her pussy tightens again, knocking the air from your lungs, as your hips stutter erratically. 
“Jesus fuck,” Rosie pants from underneath you, her body still quivering from her orgasm. Your chest heaves, hands slipping underneath her waist to hold her tightly. “That was…I don’t even know.��
“Yeah,” You grunt, kissing her hair before gently pulling your cock out. You don’t know either because you’ve taken Rosie roughly before, but never like this. She lets out a quiet moan, sighing, as you glance down to the mess between you. Quite a mess indeed. 
Your body collapses next to Rosie as exhaustion takes over, but she quickly snuggles into you, wrapping an arm over your back. 
“Are you okay?” Rosie mumbles into your ear, chin resting on your shoulder. 
“Are you?” You turn your head to face her. The guilt washing in after you realize how hard you were on her. 
“Well I know for a fact I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m great,” Rosie kisses your skin, mumbling out, “But seriously, are you okay?” 
“Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask quietly. 
Rosie stares at you, peeking her head over to search for an answer you’re scared she’ll find. She looks beautiful, and you’d love to tell her, but with the way she’s looking at you, something else might slip out. 
“You called me mine,” Rosie says softly, bringing her fingers to comb through your hair. 
“Sorry,” You bury your face into your pillow, embarrassed. “Heat of the moment,” You lie, knowing damn well it wasn’t. 
“Don’t be shy,” Rosie scratches your head. “It was cute,” Giggling softly before adding, “Being yours sounds nice.”
--
You’re at a bar with a few of your friends—Jennie and Lisa included. It’s a normal night out with your friends to celebrate making it another week. You couldn’t really enjoy it like you normally would because you’ve been checking your phone every couple minutes, waiting for a message you know is coming your way. 
“Oppa, pay attention to us,” Lisa whines next to you as Jennie chuckles on her lap. 
“If you want to have a threesome, just ask,” That comment earns you a hard smack on the arm from Jennie, huffing in her now-girlfriend’s lap. 
“Oh fuck off,” Jennie spits out, muttering to Lisa about how much of an asshole you are and why she ever slept with you. 
You check your phone for any notifications and your heart drops when you see one from Rosie. You casually glance to make sure neither of the girls are peering over your shoulder, while you hear them talking to Ryujin on their other side. 
You take a breath, tapping the screen to read the message. 
Soohyun asked me to be his girlfriend. 
You already knew it was coming, so why did it still hurt?
You lock your phone, shaking your head, as you try to process your emotions. 
The time you’ve been spending with Rosie is over, and you couldn’t help but feel sad over it. It feels like when you and Nayeon broke up, but a thousand times worse. It’s not like you two were actually a couple, mere fuck buddies that spent hours together watching shows, eating out with, and a lot of other things in between. 
But then why does it feel like it was more than a fuck? 
You were aware that you were growing attached to Rosie, but you feigned it off that it was just because of how much you saw each other. She became part of your routine, that you couldn’t remember the time when she wasn’t. 
Your attachment clearly was more because you developed feelings, actual feelings that weren’t revolving around lust. So yeah, you like Rosie, hell, you may even be in love with her at this point, but you lost your shot. 
And there probably won’t ever be another. 
You groan, slamming your hand on the table loud enough that it jolts the girls next to you. 
“Oppa, what the fuck?” Jennie asks, concerned with your sudden outburst. 
“I gotta go,” Your voice cracks, walking away before you break down completely.
“Wait!” Lisa yells after you, spurring you to move quicker through the crowd. 
You turn your head before you exit, but you can’t pinpoint their face in the sea of people. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing you lost them, before the thought of Rosie seeps back into your mind. 
You need something—anything—to get your thoughts and feelings off of her. An idea quickly comes to you, one that you regret having, but it’s your only option. 
You pull your phone out, scrolling through your contact list before hitting call. 
The line rings once before a concerned voice answers. 
“Book me a flight to Osaka.”
--
--
It’s been two weeks since you received a message that shattered you. 
It’s also been two weeks since you left for Osaka abruptly, deciding to join your parents to meet with the Nakamuras for another business formality. 
Your parents were surprised that you wanted to join, especially since the last discussion you had with your father had your mother having to step in between before either of you slammed the other into the wall. Your father was excited the moment you showed up at your childhood home straight after the club while your mother looked concerned. She asked if everything was alright, but you brushed her off, not wanting to get into it with her. 
Regardless, they were still happy you joined them. Your father more so as he made the off comment that it would be good to spend some time with Kazuha. 
Which you did, and with Satoshi. 
You gave Kazuha the heads up that you’d be arriving with your parents. She was another person surprised, but she welcomed you nonetheless. You also met her boyfriend, who you quickly became close to, much to Kazuha’s dismay. She’d tell anyone that she was the third wheel by how much you and Satoshi spoke. 
It was only meant to be a weeklong trip, but Kazuha and Satoshi invited you to stay for their school break, to visit Tokyo and Hiroshima. You jumped at the opportunity. Anything that kept you away from seeing Rosie and Soohyun holding hands on campus was what you wanted. 
Satoshi brought his younger sister along too, Kasumi. You thought she was a bit of a hothead, but she was pretty and you were in another country trying to get over someone. 
When it came down to actually hooking up, you couldn’t. Your body physically shut down from anything you two alluded to. Making out had no effect on you. Her rubbing her hand over your crotch felt nice, but not enough for you to get hard. You felt bad, but you explained that you just couldn’t because you weren’t in the right headspace for it. You were so caught up in your feelings with Rosie that you couldn’t perform, no matter how much Kasumi was interested. 
She understood, chuckling because she figured there was someone else, but she thought you were cute so she wanted to at least try. There weren’t any hard feelings, leaving Japan with two great friends. And Kazuha too, you guess. 
You hear your mother call your name out from across the aisle, motioning for you to sit next to her as the plane starts its descent. 
“How are you doing?” Your mother asks once you buckle your seatbelt. 
“I’m fine,” An automated response whenever either of your parents ask, but the difference between them is that your mother has a tendency to prod. 
“How was Tokyo?” 
“It was fun. Kazuha and Satoshi took me around,” You answer vaguely, knowing that if you shared actual details about what you did, she would have a heart attack. 
“That’s great,” Your mother nods, smiling. “How’s Chaeyoung?” 
You freeze. You knew your mothers spoke often, but she had rarely ever asked you about her. 
“I saw Alice a few weeks ago as I was coming home. She mentioned you and Chaeyoung had been spending some time together,” Your mother continues, noticing your sudden apprehension. 
Oh. 
That’s news to you because you didn’t think Rosie mentioned you to Alice of all people. The siblings were close, like really close, so if she talked about you, it probably meant something. But you were trying to get over her, and thinking about what it could mean would drive you crazy. 
“Oh, uh, Rosie’s doing well. I think she’s going abroad for her internship this summer, she just has to decide where she wants to go,” You say. Rosie had been bouncing ideas off you since she heard back. You were there when she received a couple emails, watching her shock and excitement paint her face. She nearly ripped your clothes off when she got accepted into the one she really wanted. 
“Fashion right? Chaeyoung always had an eye for that,” Your mother answers pensively. 
You’re inclined to say something else, but another question is thrown your way before you could. 
“Are you two dating?” 
“Mother,” You roll your eyes. 
“That’s not a no,” She quips, chuckling at your expense. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. You’ve always been fond of her ever since you were kids. We, her mother and I, have talked about it before.”
“What’re you even talking about?” You sigh, shaking your head. This conversation has taken a turn for the worse. You thought your mother wanted you to marry Kazuha, but apparently, she has been talking to Rosie’s mother about you two for years. 
“You don’t remember? You used to come home frustrated with Rosie, whining and grumbling about why she wouldn’t talk to you,” Her words unlock a box you kept hidden away. “It wasn’t until you hit high school where you pretty much gave up trying to be her friend. Even at that point, Rosie would talk to you, or maybe more antagonize you is a better description. You were beaming after those weekly dinners with the Parks.”
You didn’t comment as thoughts and feelings rushed to the surface. 
“Regardless, we thought you two would date at some point,” Your mother shrugged as if what she just said had no impact on you. 
Your mother doesn’t say anything else, opening one of her latest novels, signaling that the conversation is over. 
It really didn’t matter how you felt before, but then why does it feel like it’s making it a hundred times harder to get over her? 
--
You drop your duffel bag on the floor, kicking the door shut, as you’re finally home after two weeks. You plop your body on the couch, yawning from the flight. You have to go to campus tomorrow, which you weren’t entirely excited about. The chances of you seeing her were high, but you didn’t know what she was going to do. 
You’ve been avoiding all messages she sent you, which were a lot. She called you too, leaving a few voicemails that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. Kazuha caught you staring at your phone one night and made you promise not to open any messages that could derail your trip. It didn’t help Satoshi agreed, saying that it would be like a reset. 
You decide that now was the time to check them. 
Where are you? 
Can you answer the phone? 
I’m coming over. 
I’m outside, can you open the door? 
Fuck it, I know your code. 
Where the hell are you? 
Did you go to Osaka?
All those messages were from the day after Soohyun asked her to be his girlfriend. You saw she texted you everyday for a week asking if you could call her, but her last message broke you. 
I can only assume you went to Osaka. I hope everything’s okay. 
It takes everything in you to not reply now. If you do, you’d just be an asshole to her for no contact for two weeks. You’re an asshole either way, but it would rub salt in the wound. 
You check your other messages and see a few from Jennie, who rightfully curses you out for being a dick and to just respond so Rosie knows you're alive. Lisa sent one too, asking you where you are, but no threats. Jisoo’s message made you chuckle, a simple reply to her or else, was clear enough.
You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it on the coffee table. 
You’ll deal with everything tomorrow. 
--
The first person that approaches you on campus is Jennie. She shoves you, letting her when you know you could overpower her. 
“You’re a fucking ass,” Jennie pushes you again, enough force to lose your balance. 
“What did I do?” You stupidly ask, avoiding her piercing gaze. 
“You know what the hell you did, you better fucking talk to her,” Jennie says firmly, poking your shoulder. 
“If I see her,” You mumble, rubbing the spot. 
“You better,” You wait for her to say more, but the sound of her walking away brings your gaze to her retreating figure. 
Sighing as this isn’t how you want to start your day, you decide to be early for class.
The universe doesn’t even want you to be early because Nayeon stops you along the way.
“Hey I need a favor,” Nayeon asks, standing in front of you. 
“What?” You didn’t mean to sound irritated, but blame Jennie.
“Can you do this photoshoot for Mina and Sana? Their original photographer flaked, and they’re out of options,” Nayeon explains and you know she’s telling the truth. 
“Why me?” 
“I suggested you. I remember you taking photographs,” Nayeon smiles softly. “It’s a project that’s worth half their grade and their professor wants quality pictures.”
“What class is it for?” You prod, adding, “I’ve never done a modeling kind of shoot.”
“Their visual concepts class, I think. I don’t know. All I know is that they texted the group chat, stressing out,” Nayeon explains, shrugging since she was a film major. 
“Fine,” Nayeon claps happily, “Are you going to be there?” You had to ask, needing the time to mentally prepare yourself to spend, most likely, the whole day with her. 
“What? No,” Nayeon shakes her head. “I’ll be in Busan this weekend. Why did you want to hang out with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows. 
“Absolutely not,” You say firmly and her shoulders drop. 
“Fine whatever,” Nayeon huffs, hiking her bag on her shoulder. “Anyways, I’ll text you the details about it later. It’s tomorrow. I don’t think you need to bring anything, but bring your camera stuff just in case.” 
You nod, thinking about your schedule for tomorrow, which thankfully nothing was planned. 
“Oh,” Nayeon turns her head, adding one last detail before walking away, “Chaeyoung will be there too. She’s styling them.” 
Nayeon doesn’t wait for you to reply, leaving you speechless and even more irritated. 
Fucker. 
--
--
“Let’s take a break,” You announce after checking the shots you just took, satisfied with the outcome. “Fifteen?”
“Oh thank god,” Sana sinks to the ground as Mina chuckles next to her. “If we weren’t desperate, I wouldn’t have said yes.”
“Be thankful I care about this, or your project would be shit,” You answer, flicking through the pictures and thinking of how to change the lighting. 
“Thanks again for doing this, oppa,” Mina squeezes your arm before walking off to sit with Momo. 
You grumble a reply, turning without even thinking, and you accidentally bump into someone. 
“Shit sorry,” You look up to see Rosie five seconds away from losing the grip on the clothes she’s carrying. You immediately drop the camera against your chest, reaching for the items and taking it out of her hands. 
“It’s fine,” Rosie grabs the clothes back without another word, walking towards Mina. 
You sigh, shaking your head, trying not to lose focus on why you’re here. 
When you arrived this morning at one of the parks at the Han River, most of the crew was already present, setting up. You greeted everyone before seeing Rosie with Dahyun, discussing the outfits and concepts. 
“Hey good morning,” You greeted softly as you stood in front of them. 
Dahyun gave you a bright smile while Rosie forced hers, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. 
“Morning oppa!” Dahyun was as cheerful as ever at eight in the morning on a Saturday. “You could use the school’s equipment if you want,” She nods towards the table with the camera and lenses, “But feel free to use yours, whichever you feel comfortable with.” 
Another woman walked up to Dahyun, asking her to come with her to make sure they were correctly set up. Dahyun excused herself, leaving you alone with Rosie. 
“Chaeng—”
“Now you want to talk?” Rosie’s words cut sharply. “I don’t have anything to say to you right now, can we just get through today?” 
“Okay,” Was all you could say, nodding. You knew she had a lot to say, but neither of you could exactly hash it out with all these people around. 
“Okay,” Rosie nodded, grabbing whatever was near her, and walked away. 
Once Sana and Mina arrived, you quickly switched gears. You pushed whatever thoughts and feelings you had for Rosie aside, and went straight into work mode. 
You had zero experience taking photographs like this. Sure you’ve taken photos of your friends, and Nayeon would force you to take pictures of her whenever you went out. The last person you took a photo of was Rosie when you walked through the streets of Myeongdong a few weeks back. 
That was about as close as you got to taking pictures of people, but working like this was exhilarating.
You and Rosie worked well together too. It made you a lot more comfortable with directing with how seamlessly it went. You asked her opinion on what lighting should be used and she gave feedback that had the shots coming out great. Other than suggestions, your conversations had been minimal.
“You know,” Sana joins you in the empty seat next to you as you sift through the photos on the laptop, “You’re an asshole right?” 
“Okay what the fuck,” You break your attention away from the screen to a smirk on Sana’s face. 
“Chaeyoung-ah talks to us, and she sort of filled us in about this guy, who wasn’t Soohyun, that she had been seeing,” Sana sinks into the chair, glancing at the picture of her and Mina on the screen. “It wasn’t really hard to put two and two together about who she was referring to, and Nayeon confirmed something was going on between you.” 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You brush the woman off, rolling your eyes as you delete one of the blurry shots. 
“Sure you don’t,” Sana chuckles, “But regardless of whatever was going on between you two, you should know—if you don’t already—Rosie didn’t say yes to Soohyun when he asked her out.”
You don’t let her words faze you as you continue to delete shots you don’t deem worthy. 
“One could only wonder right?” Sana goes on, oblivious to your inner turmoil. “Soohyun’s a good-looking guy, nice enough, and spent a fair amount of time courting her, just for him to be rejected.”
“What are you getting at Sana?” You stop what you were doing, turning to face her. 
“Just wanted to figure out why Rosie said no,” Sana shrugs as Dahyun passes by, informing her that it’s time for the next outfit change. “Anyways, Rosie wouldn’t say, but it’s obvious why.”
“And why is that?” You take the bait, preparing yourself for whatever’s going to come out of Sana’s mouth next. 
“Because of you,” Sana stands, letting out a small yawn. “Anyways, let’s get this over with. I’m ready to drink. Don’t be a dick.” 
You aren’t sure if Sana was referring to herself or to Rosie, and you couldn’t ask since she left to go change into the next outfit. 
--
The rest of the photo shoot goes without a hitch. You tried your best to not let the conversation with Sana bleed into your work, and you hoped no one noticed. It was slightly harder than it was already to work with Rosie, but you maintained some sense of professionalism. 
There was a minor issue with the zipper breaking on Sana’s dress, but Rosie was quick to fix the problem by throwing a blazer over her. Other than that, everything went well. You thanked everyone for their help today, realizing it was a long day, which everyone was happy to hit the bar once everything was packed up. 
You offered to edit the pictures for them, since you didn’t exactly want to go out. Mina said you didn’t have to, but you were adamant about it. Sana shrugged, indifferent if you joined or not. 
You see Rosie talking to Momo and swallow your pride as you make your way to them. 
“Come on Chaeng,” You catch Momo say as you get closer. “It’ll be fun!” 
“I don’t think so Momo,” Rosie shakes her head. “I just want to stay in tonight.”
“One drink?” Momo begs as you stand next to the women. 
“Sorry Momo,” Rosie smiles, eyes falling on you before her smile slowly fades. 
“Oppa, convince her to go,” Momo pouts. 
“I’m with her on this one Momo,” She frowns, shaking her head, muttering something in Japanese that makes you laugh. “I understand, you know that right?” 
Momo’s eyes widened, cheeks starting to turn red before walking away. 
Once Momo’s a good distance away, you turn to Rosie, a sad smile forming on your face as she looks everywhere but at you. 
“Can we talk?” You ask quietly. 
“So talk,” Rosie crosses her arms. 
“Like in private? Please.”
Rosie relents, sighing. “Let’s just finish with cleaning up and we can go for a walk okay?” 
“Okay,” You nod, grateful that she’s giving you the time of day. 
You have to be honest with her, and if she rejects you completely, at least you can say you tried. 
Rosie shivers next to you, the chill of the sunset creeping in. You shrug your coat off, wrapping it around her shoulders. 
“Thanks,” Rosie mumbles out as you continue walking along the river. 
There are a few people out as well, mostly couples huddled together. It almost makes you want to wrap an arm around her to keep her warm. You won’t though because it’s awkward. 
Rosie walks into the convenience store without saying anything, which you follow her into. She grabs an instant coffee before turning to you, asking if you wanted anything. You shake your head, even though the bottle of soju behind the glass screams your name. 
When she goes to pay, you quickly swipe your card before she could say no. She scoffs, shaking her head, as she walks out. You follow her, keeping a small distance as you watch her take small sips with every step. She stops, leaning on the railing, and stares out to the river. 
Naturally you join her, letting the background noise fill the silence. 
After a few minutes, Rosie says, “You wanted to talk, so go ahead.” 
“First off, I’m sorry,” You say quietly. You apologize for not replying, and most likely worrying her. You explain that going to Osaka was an impulsive choice, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. 
“Well why? Did I do something?” Rosie turns to face you, lip quivering. You notice her eyes suddenly glossy, and it pangs you to see her like this. 
“No, no,” You shake your head firmly, closing your eyes as you choose your next words carefully. “When I got that text about Soohyun, I finally accepted something.” 
“What?” 
You slowly open your eyes, staring at her features, completely enamored by her. Like you always have been. 
“I’m in love with you,” You admit for the first time out loud, and you’re happy it’s to her. 
Rosie’s eyes widen, gaze looking away as her whole body shifts to face the water again. 
“You’re an asshole, you know that right?” Rosie says quietly. “And an idiot.” She adds, huffing. 
Not the response you were expecting, but before you could ask what she means, she tells you anyway. 
“I’ve spent mostly every day with you for the past month, then we have a really intense night of sex where you fucking claimed me,” You wince at her words, “Then you just leave for two weeks without any contact to come back and say you’re in love with me because of a text of someone asking me out?” 
“Well when you put—”
“I’m not finished,” Rosie huffs, facing you once again. “I’m in love with you, too dumbass. After that last night, I realized that as much as you piss me off, as much as you’re so fucking stubborn, that the idea of being yours felt real. I couldn’t say yes to Soohyun when I unknowingly said yes to you.” 
“You want to be with me?” You stare at her, dumbfounded. 
“If that wasn’t clear enough, yes,” Rosie rolls her eyes. “We’ve basically already been dating, so if you’d just stop running away after and just talk to—whoa,” She gasps when your arm snakes around her waist, pulling her into you, tilting her head up. 
“Say it,” You ghost your lips against hers, moving as she misses. 
“See, stubborn,” There’s a sharp inhale when you kiss her sweetly. 
“Say it,” You mumble, dipping your tongue in as she lets out a moan. 
“Yours,” Rosie wraps her arms around your neck, melting into you as the kiss deepens. 
“I love you,” You detach your lips, resting your forehead against hers. 
“I love you too,” Tracing her fingers along your neck, “Even though you’ve been a jerk these past two weeks. How are you going to make it up to me?” 
“I can think of a few ways.”
--
--
Rosie slams the door behind you, wincing at the frames rattling against the wall. She kicks her shoes off aggressively, barely sparing you a glance as she walks to your room. That door also slams. 
She’s pissed. 
Maybe it was your fault. Okay so it was your fault, but you didn’t mean for it to happen. 
You met up with a few of your friends to celebrate the end of exams and the school year. It was also a small farewell to you and Rosie as you were going to Paris together for the summer. Rosie took the internship at YSL and she was able to get you one too after she sneakily sent over the portfolio from the project. 
Your parents didn’t mind, figuring it would be good for you to take this time before you graduate into the real world. They were supportive that if you decided to do it for real, they’d be more than okay with it. That surprised you, but you couldn���t complain. Though the teasing from your mother was enough. 
You were at the bar, waiting to get your order when Ryujin sat in your lap. You couldn’t do anything as her weight pressed you down. 
“What the hell Ryujin?” You try to get her off you. 
“Oppa, come on. When are you going to ditch Chaeyoung and get back to bed with me?” Ryujin grounds her hips over your crotch, stealing a moan from you as the movement catches you off guard. 
“I’m not going to,” You grit out as she repeats the movement. 
“What the fuck?” You hear Rosie’s voice behind you, gathering the strength to push the woman off your lap. 
“I can explain!” You turn to face her, hands up. 
“Come on Chaeyoung, share him,” Ryujin trails a finger up your chest. “I miss him.” 
“Oh you fucking—” You step out of Ryujin’s hold, lungeing for your girlfriend before she mauls the other woman. 
“Let’s go,” You nearly carry Rosie out as she squirms against your hold. A few people stare as you walk by, but she was about five seconds away from causing a bigger scene, that you couldn’t care less. 
Once you got outside, Rosie ripped into you. She called you every name in the book for doing that. When you explained that you were pushing her off, she called you an idiot for even allowing it. You had no response, knowing it was a lost cause. 
Officially dating Rosie for the past few months, you learned a lot, especially the type of girlfriend she was. She’s more affectionate, tender, soft when it’s just you or with her closest friends. She does a lot for you without even realizing you need help. She acts indifferent to the public about things, but tells you how she feels and what she thinks in private. She shows you in more ways than one just how much she loves you. 
But she’s still the same too. 
She still argues with you over anything and everything. She mouths off whenever she doesn’t get her way (you give in anyways). She relentlessly teases you any chance she gets. 
She’s also very possessive of you. She hates when any girls glance your way. She especially despises any of your past flings (except Jennie) as they boldly ask you to hook up with her right there. She can’t stand it when you say she’s jealous because she’s not. But her use of mine is repeated multiple times as she fucks you to remind you who you belonged to, like you could forget. 
She’s still the biggest pain in your ass, but you love her anyway. 
You open your room door, surprised to see Rosie already changed for bed. She’s adorable dressed in your clothes, the size just a tad too big on her body. You quietly close the door, ignoring her movements as you grab clothes from the dresser. 
When you join her in bed, sliding under the covers, you lay on your side, staring at her scroll through her phone. 
“Chaeng,” You pout as she continues scrolling. “Come on, you know I didn’t do anything.” 
“Why’d you let her sit on your lap then?” Rosie says sarcastically. 
“I didn’t. She just sat there,” You reason, rolling your eyes at her pettiness. 
“Cause you just keep your lap available for anyone to sit on?” 
“Jesus christ, you know I don’t. You’re acting like a brat,” You huff, rolling onto your back. 
“I’m acting like a brat?” Rosie raises her voice, her phone tossed on the nightstand. She hovers over you, eyes narrowing, “I’m not the one letting girls openly sit on my lap when I’m clearly in a relationship.”
“Believe me, everyone knows that I am,” You glare, deciding right then and there you’re going to taunt her. “Not my fault my dick’s just that good they miss me.” 
“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Rosie scoffs, “It’s not even that good.” 
“What do you have to compare it to? You’ve only slept with me and clearly aren’t going after anyone else’s dick,” It’s a low blow, but she’s starting to piss you off. 
In a flurry of movements, Rosie swings her leg over you, cupping your chin rather aggressively before whispering, “Did you want me to? I’m sure there’s still a line of guys dying to get inside of me.”
Your temper flares, hands gripping her waist before flipping her over. 
Now if Rosie’s possessive of you, naturally you’re possessive of her. Probably worse. 
You find your hands underneath your shirt, and she shivers at your touch. 
“Is that a no?” Rosie moans when you pinch her nipples. 
You remove your hands, reaching for the hem of your shirt before throwing it somewhere off to the side. You rip the shirt off her body before slotting yourself in between her legs, pressing most of your weight on top of her. 
“I guess I have to ask,” You start peppering her jaw with kisses, “Do you want to be disappointed?” 
Rosie moans as you gently suck on her sweet spot, smirking against her skin as her hips roll against your crotch. Your cock twitches, but you don’t let your control slip that easily. 
“How-how would I be disappointed?” Rosie tilts her head back, granting you more access as you continue leaving marks along her neck. 
“You’d be comparing them to me,” You thrust against her, just so she could feel what she’s doing to you. 
“Doubtful,” Rosie’s hand slips underneath your waistband, taking hold of your cock as she strokes you. 
“I know you would,” You whisper against her ear, “You wouldn’t cum, I know that for sure.”
“What makes you so confident?” Her grip tightens, a groan falling from your lips. 
“Maybe cause you’re mine,” You nip at her ear, grounding your hips against hers. Her legs wrap around your waist, an all too familiar move that has you rutting into her, mimicking exactly what you were going to do to her. 
“Yours?” 
“Mine,” You tear the shirt over her head, whimpering at her hand leaving you. You tug her shorts down to see her bare pussy, wet and glistening under the low light of your room. You salivate, but tuck those thoughts away for later because you need to get inside her more than anything right now. 
“Better remind me,” Rosie sighs, breath stuttering, as she stares at the obvious bulge in between her legs. “I could probably walk outside and someone would wanna fuck me.”
Your control snaps, shoving your sweats to free your cock. You miss the gasp falling from her lips, but you hone in as you aim your cock at her entrance. 
“Absolutely not,” You snap your hips forward, giving her no time to adjust to the ruthless pace you set on her body. “Only I could do this.”
You spread her legs wider, watching her eyes roll back. Her hips meet every thrust, taking you just like she knows how to. Her long drawn out moans quickly turn into high pitched screams that ring in your ears. 
“Baby,” Rosie brings one hand in between her legs, furiously rubbing her clit as her walls clamp onto your length. “You fuck me so—fuck.” 
Your earlier irritation bleeds away, suddenly feeling the need to make sure Rosie doesn’t forget exactly who makes her feel this good. 
You fill her to the hilt, groaning into the crook of her neck as her pussy contracts around your cock. 
“Baby,” Rosie pants, chest heaving against yours as she tries to move. Your hips have her pinned against the bed, so it’s futile as she writhes underneath you. “Don’t stop, please.” She breathes out, her hand still moving in between you, creating a delicious friction. 
You want her to beg, but with the way she’s squeezing your cock like her life depended on it has you giving in 
“Tell me.”
“Yours-please, please,” Rosie shakes her head, the pressure in between her legs growing. 
“Mine?” You draw your hips back, leaving the head of your cock in. 
“Fuck, yours,” Rosie screams when you slam into her body, hooking her legs over your shoulders as you resume fucking her with everything you’ve got. 
You’re usually not this rough, but a more primal, baser, need takes over. She yelled at you for something that was completely out of your control. Could you have handled it differently? Sure, but she could have handled it differently too. 
You’ve spent enough time with Rosie to know she acts like this to rile you up. You honestly have no problem putting her in her place, especially if it’s in between her legs. 
Rosie’s orgasm rips through her body, back arching suddenly as her hands hold you close. Her nails dig into your skin, nails scratching down your back, which you know will leave marks. 
“Again,” You command, fucking her thoroughly as her pussy spasms around your cock. 
Rosie’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out as her lips form a perfect ‘O’ before a gush of wetness drenches you. 
You pull out quickly, deciding that she doesn’t get to feel you cum inside her—at least right now. It takes you no more than four pumps of your cock before you explode over her body. You aim in between her lower lips, making a bigger mess of her as your mind shuts off. 
You’re both gasping for air, but your eyes fixate on the rise and fall of Rosie’s chest. Moving on impulse alone, you lower yourself, peppering her chest with your lips. One hand lazily drapes over your neck, scratching softly as quiet moans leave her body. 
“Okay,” Rosie mumbles after a couple minutes, gently tugging you off. “You made your point. I don’t want anyone else to fuck me.”
“Good,” You roll off of her, but quickly pull her body into yours. 
“No one else can fuck you either,” Rosie musters out as threatening as possible. It falls short because she’s still trying to catch her breath, exhausted. 
“I know,” You kiss her temple. “Only want you anyways.” 
“Good,” She snuggles into your side, slotting a leg in between yours. 
You offer to clean up, but she pulls you tighter, telling you five more minutes. You chuckle, knowing her body well enough that she’s going to pass out. 
“Love you,” You murmur, lips on her skin again because you couldn’t get enough of her. 
“I love you,” Rosie sighs dreamily. 
You hear light snores after a minute, eyes rolling fondly. You sink into the embrace, closing your eyes as well. 
You’ll clean later, content with the woman in your arms, who will—if you had to bet—want to go again. 
--
--
--
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wandasfavreal · 1 month
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Make You Mine
Wanda x Fem!Reader
Summary: Ummm stepmom Wanda being upset with you for hosting a birthday party and not listening to her??
Idkkk this is my first time writing anything SO PLEASE just give me chance. I’m not really sure what I’m doing but like it’s something and I wrote this in one sitting. So please ignore any mistakes I made
Word count: 3.2k
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Stepmom!Wanda x Fem!Reader, alcohol, intoxicated r, non/con, somnophilia, mommy kink, oral(r receiving), jealousy, mentions of straight relationship, just Wanda being pervy
The floor trembled under you as music played obnoxiously through the speakers. You had the house to yourself and since it was your 21st birthday, you hosted a party at your house. There was around twenty people or so that you invited, having known them from college or even before.
With the promises of causing no trouble and being good, your father decided to give you permission to celebrate with your friends. Your step mom on the other hand, not so much.
“Y/N no, I told you already I don’t want you and your friends making a mess in the house that I know you’re not going clean,” Wanda said sternly as she set the dirty dishes in the sink. It was so rare for the older woman to ever let you do anything surrounding your friends. Despite being an adult, she’s always treated you as if you were a kid who never knew how to take care of yourself, and you hated it. Here she was doing that exact thing.
“I promise I’ll clean everything, Wanda. Just let me,” you responded, helping her clean up the table from dinner just to prove a point. She sighed before looking back up and at you, her expression displaying a displeasured look. You, being persistent, kept trying. Begged even as you put on a pleading face. “Please, I’ll do check ins and make sure nothing breaks or anything.”
Wanda found herself amused at your attempt of convincing her, the use of ‘please’ being sorta cute. However, you breaking stuff or making messes weren’t her actual concerns. She just didn’t trust you with your friends.
There were so many nights where she’d catch you trying to sneak out with them, sometimes not being able to and waking up to see you in the morning covered with marks and hickies from whatever. It made her feel an itch whenever she saw you unawarely show off anything that didn’t come from her. Plus, she was always worried about your friends taking advantage over you and making you do stuff she just thought you shouldn’t be doing. And now that you’re planning on a party where’d you be unsupervised, and possibly going to be doing more of these things, she just couldn’t bear the thought.
“For the last time. No-“
“Hey come on it’s fine. Let the kid do what she wants, it’s her 21st birthday,” your father intervened, not noticing the anger and frustration on his wife’s face. He smiled at you, and went his way to Wanda through the kitchen, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Let’s just take it as a chance to go on a date or something.”
The sight of him touching her and the word ‘date’ coming out of his mouth made your stomach churn. You didn’t know why though. Sure there were moments you found Wanda attractive and pretty even, but she was like a little less than twice your age and married to your father. It’d be weird to like her in any way like that. Right…?
“Well, thanks dad. I’ll go ahead and do it then,” you replied, your voice sounding taunting to Wanda as you glared up at her.
Excusing yourself, you went to your bedroom, trying to get the picture of the two out of your head. But before leaving, you noticed how Wanda somewhat pushed him away gently.
Back to the party, there you were taking shots and drinks down your throat like you’ve had before. Since you were now legally able to drink alcohol, everyone brought some combined with any that you found in the cabinets. You knew Wanda would probably be mad at you for taking some, but at least you left her favorite wine.
After a couple hours of playing games and enjoying your time letting the drunk feeling sink in, people began to leave, saying bye as they departed and said their birthday wishes to you. It was around 1am at this point, and you knew your dad and Wanda would be back soon. Though, you could barely see anything as you walked. After taking so much of the burning liquor and not considering the consequences, you felt completely sick and out of it, obviously not remembering your promises of cleaning up. Your phone was no where to be found and you had no clue about Wanda’s concerns.
Your last couple of friends helped you with a little bit of trash, picking up only after themselves however, and leaving most of it to you. Feeling lightheaded, you found your way to your room as you held onto the walls, plopping down on the bed once you were in as if you weren’t on the verge of throwing up. As you laid down comfortably, your eyes became heavy, leading you into a deep sleep in which you didn’t hear the car driving and parking onto the driveway.
Wanda came into the house, already prepared to yell at you after you didn’t answer her calls from earlier. She walked over the cups and napkins left on the floor toward your room, expecting you to be up and just ‘busy’ doing anything but cleaning like you said. But instead, she walked into you passed out on your bed, still in your uncomfortable clothing as you reeked of alcohol. She once again sighed out in irritation, not sure if she should be shouting at you or your father for letting you host a stupid a party.
She takes a few steps towards you, reaching her hand out to gently push the loose strand of hair from your face as you slept at the edge. Wanda couldn’t help but smile at your cute sleeping antics though, noticing your eyebrows create an indent in between and your nose twitch. Picking you up with her unusual strength, she put you into bed correctly, placing your head onto the soft pillow lightly. She paused for a moment thinking about her next move as she realized again the clothes you were wearing. They were revealing and provocative, something you’d never proudly wear in front of her or your father. Wanda bit her bottom lip, not knowing whether she should do what she’s thinking, but she did it anyway.
Slowly, she put her hands at the hem of your short top, trying her best to take it off you without you waking. She just didn’t want you to sleep in uncomfortable clothing, that’s all… Successfully pulling it off, she threw it down on the floor. Her eyes trailed down to your chest, which was still covered with your bra. She blushed a bit, finding your body beautiful yet so tempting her eyes then made their way to your bottom half, contemplating if it was a good idea to take your pants off too.
The sound of your father’s voice shook the thought out of her head. He called her name, wondering if everything was okay as the house was quiet, which wasn’t usual if it was Wanda yelling at you. She quickly got out of your room, hoping she wouldn’t be caught doing anything inappropriate with her husband’s daughter and went to her own bedroom, now ignoring the mess that surrounded her through the halls.
After about an hour, Wanda came back into your room. Just to check on you, maybe. She cleaned herself up, taking off any of the makeup she put on for the date she was just on, which was really just her having to suffer through pretending to enjoy whatever it was that they did. She was dressed in simple pajamas, just a shirt and shorts, and even then she looked perfect. Her oblivious husband was asleep now as well, and she took it as her chance to go back to your unconscious state. Walking gingerly to the side of the bed that you were on, she turned on the light on your nightstand and stared at your body again, thinking about taking off your pants like earlier. This time she did do it. Her hands went to the top of them, tugging them down with barely any force. Now leaving with you in only your undergarments, she found herself immersed in your entire being, her hand trailing down your body.
“Fuck, what am I doing…” Wanda whispered to herself as she bit the inside of her cheek in nervousness. You shifted in response to her touch, still in deep sleep as you unknowingly made her lose her composure. A soft groan left her mouth as you turned onto your side and had your back face her, exposing your ass. Looking back at the door and you, Wanda came to the conclusion that neither you or your father would be waking up anytime soon, so she crawled into bed with you on the other side, going under the cold sheets.
She’s never interacted with you with touch before, maybe just a couple hugs and light touches to your lower back, but never more as she didn’t really want to risk and indulge in anything. But seeing you now, your unconscious body, which wouldn’t know what’s about to happen, made her yearn for more.
Her hand made its way back to your face, cupping your cheek that’s faced up unlike the other which was adorably squished against the pillow. She leaned down placing a feather light kiss to your forehead to test you and to see if you really were heavily asleep. And you were. Receiving the green light to go further, her lips went father down to your nose, then to your mouth. Not caring if you were unconscious and intoxicated, she gently pushed her lips against yours, letting out a soft moan as she finally got to kiss you like she’s dreamt of from so many nights where she’d wake up with a mess in between her legs. Her hand went down to your waist, and squeezed it just a bit, but the action made you squirm and part from the kiss, once again turning and facing your back to Wanda.
Disappointed to not see your face, she breathed out. She still kept her hands on you though, wrapping an arm around your midsection and pulling you toward her body. She put her face into your neck, taking in your scent that remained besides the alcohol. “God, I need you so bad baby,” Wanda mumbled behind your ear. Her fingers from her other hand came up to unclip your bra, freeing your chest and allowing her to grope your breasts, still lightly as she wanted you to stay asleep. Her perverted actions were so different compared to how she’d usually behave around you.
Your body responded to her many ways as she touched you. You pushed your ass against her front, your panties being the only thing separating her from touching your father down. She groaned again at this, as if your body subconsciously wanted her to fuck you. And once a small and barely audible whimper escaped from your lips, she lost it. Her head spun from the way you acted, forcing her to find ways to control herself from just pinning you down and having her way with you. She bit down on your lower neck, making you once again let out another noise of disturbance.
“So needy even when you’re sleeping… fuck, I can’t stand you,” she said quietly against your skin, biting her lip and moving her hand down your tummy and further to your center. Her fingers reached the band of your underwear, causing her to huff out in annoyance of it being there still. Being a little less gentle, she tugged it down and immediately cupped your cunt. It was kinda rough as she desperately wanted to feel you. Her fingers went through your folds, collecting your wetness. Then, she reached up to her lips to taste you as she put them in her mouth, sucking your arousal off. She moaned, and already in love with how you tasted she wanted more of it.
Her body moved down, removing the sheets off of you and her. The soft yellow glow from the light on your body mesmerized her as she positioned herself between your legs. Parting them, she bent down and put her arm underneath your thighs before having them in a tight hold with her hands gripping the smooth flesh there. Wanda looked up at your sleeping self, admiring your beauty as her lip quivered from need with your pussy just centimeters away from her mouth. She stuck her tongue out, gently licking up and between your folds, up your clit. Your body quickly began to stir, and your eyes were forced shut as you turned your head. Wanda stopped momentarily, waiting for you to settle.
Once you stopped moving, she started to move her tongue against you again. Switching between licking around your sensitive nub and entering your cunt with her tongue, she moaned at how sweet you were, making her hold on you tighter to the point where light bruises were to form. Another small whimper mixed with a moan left your mouth as Wanda hit a particular spot within you. Your hips jerked up, and this only caused her to move roughly against and in your pussy. “Mm, waited so long to make you mine…”
Now that she was lost in pleasuring you and herself, you began to wake up from the slight aggressive movements. Your eyes opened, squinting from the bright light beaming beside your face. Confused, you closed your eyes again before recognizing a feeling between your thighs. Wanda noticed you waking up, no longer caring and actually glad you were. As you looked down you saw her face covered in your wetness mixed with her own saliva. Your jaw dropped from both shock and pleasure as she continued moving her tongue in and out of your increasingly soaked center. “W-Wanda..?” You shakily spoke, reaching down to her head, only to be stopped as her hands took yours and pinned them down beside your thighs.
“Shh… just let mommy take you, okay?” She said, noticing the way your hips bucked up against her face from the name she used for herself. “You’ve been so bad, you know that? You know how upset you made me, leaving a mess outside… and hanging out with all your dumb little friends…” she said lowly against your pussy, the vibrations of her voice making you moan and tilt your head back. Her mind shifted back to previous days at the mention of your friends. “So fucking annoying, coming home with all those marks on you and from who huh? Do they fuck you better than me baby?”
The constant questions and use of cuss words turned you on further as you never had nor expected Wanda to talk to you like this. Your mind was still hazy too, from just waking up and the after effects of drinking too much. “No… no m-mommy no,” you gasped, dumbly shaking your head. Wanda moaned, hearing you say her preferred term and getting drunk off your sounds. Her grip on your hands were now even tighter matching yours as you got closer to your orgasm.
Your moaning got louder as well, somewhat worrying Wanda as she didn’t want this time with you ruined by your dad waking up. So letting go of one of your hands, she reached up and covered your mouth, the pressure being harsh. Your noises were only muffled sounds of pleasure, still arousing to hear to Wanda. “Shut up sweetie, you don’t want your father to hear you, do you?” She questions, smirking slightly as you shook your head no. She loved the way you looked down at her, your eyebrows furrowed with a look of desperation and slight fear for bringing up that fact that he was in the other room down the hall.
As you were on the edge of cumming, your free hand went down to Wanda’s hair, grasping the soft locks of brown hair like you’ve always wanted. Her tongue kept going and swirled around the clit once again, really pushing you towards releasing all over her face and specifically in her mouth. You whined against her palm, signaling to her that you needed to let go. “You gonna cum, princess? Cum all over mommy’s tongue?” She asks in a condescending tone, smiling to herself as you tried to respond under her hand. She let her hand fall for you to speak and beg her for permission.
“P-Please mommy, please I wanna cum,” you begged, whimpering as you tried to hold back before she said yes. The hold on her hair got tighter, causing her groan again. Tears grew at the corners of your eyes and Wanda couldn’t help but get more aroused at the sight.
“Mhm, go ahead baby…” Wanda replied, going at a faster and rougher pace, battling against the tiring and numb feeling in her muscle. You let go the second you hear her, moving and grinding your cunt against her to ride out the orgasm that’s making your entire body tremble. Louder and higher pitched sounds from your mouth escaped, causing Wanda to instead move back up your body and shut you up by kissing you, shoving her tongue in your mouth and making you taste your own arousal.
“Uh-huh, good girl… so good for me,” she whispered, parting form the kiss and settling beside you in the bed, pulling you in her arms in a tight comforting hold laying down. The praise made you weaker, and with her pampering you by wiping your tears away while gently petting your head, it made you lost in your mind. You panted against her chest and held onto her hand still securely. She waited for you to calm down a bit before speaking again.
“Shhhh… it’s ok, just go back to sleep dear,” Wanda said softly and moving her arms to wrap around you. She figured you were still tired, from both the orgasm and the alcohol. She right of course, and you found yourself becoming drowsy in her arms.
“Wanda…” you suddenly said sleepily, catching her attention with your stable voice. She looked down at you, still comfortingly rubbing your side. The tired look on your face showing absolutely no signs of a single thought in your head was adorable to her and she smiled while responding to you with a small “hm?”
“I’m sorry for being bad,” you mumbled timidly, looking away for a moment as there was a permanent blush. Wanda laughed softly at you, her hands now to your cheek to make you look at her.
“You’re so cute… just make it up to me tomorrow okay, and then maybe we can do something like this again,” She responded, a loving grin on her face with a light pink tint on her cheeks. You nodded slowly and smiled at her. Wanda then kissed your head, shushing you to sleep. And you listened, saying a small goodnight before quickly beginning to snore softly into her neck once you shut your heavy eyelids just for a couple seconds in her warm embrace.
Part 2(Getting Closer)
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Hiyaaa
So I got another one...
Maybe ready who rambles a lot and gets embarrassed about it because they think it's annoying but Lando is like I like listening to you talk ( really want people to tell me that ) and they blurt out that love him because people usually tell them to shut up when they ramble. It's also like the first time they said it.
Byee love you :)
Every Syllable - LN
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Lando has spoken outwardly about how when he's not "performing" that he's pretty quiet and introverted. He likes to listen and he likes to let others talk because often he finds they have more interesting things to say.
Y/n is at the top of the list of those people.
Lando can and does listen to her for hours. Her voice, her ramblings, her redirection of thought mid-sentence. He's in constant awe of how many words she can fill empty space with.
"Oooh, do you know what I was thinking? You know how I was saying that we should try making a full three course." Y/n starts making Lando grin as he gets ready for the ready, pulling on his fireproofs. "I'm not sure what the dishes would actually be, but I think it'd just be cool. For a dinner party, or even just us really. No one ever makes three course dinners anymore unless it's like a special occasion or-"
She cuts herself off when noticing the McLaren photographer looking at her in confusion.
"Or?" Lando urges catching her attention back.
"Um...or...or eating out." Y/n mumbles then clearing her throat. "I should probably g-"
"No. Hey, mate. You think you can just give us some time alone?" Lando asks looking at the photographer who seems a little annoyed but leaves while he moves to lock the door once the man has exited from the room. "Baby..."
"It's almost race time." Y/n sighs but Lando pulls her over to himself.
"What have we talked about?" Lando questions earning a sigh from her.
"To not worry about talking too much. But it's easy for you to say, you don't talk too much." Y/n states watching him frown at her. "Sorry. Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick."
"I love hearing you talk, about anything and everything. If anyone gives you a look or tells you to stop. I'll handle it, because you don't have to deal with this stuff."
Y/n remains quiet only smiling a little when he kisses her.
"Stay and talk to me till I actually have to go." Lando instructs pointing for her to sit on the seat.
-
Oscar being caught in a conversation, he's polite enough to never speak up about how much she talks and Lando couldn't appreciate his teammate more for that.
"Hey, baby." Lando smiles when he spots them sitting down in the canteen. Him interrupting her excited rambles to Oscar who is just listening quietly. "What you talking about?"
"Y/n was telling me about the winter break plans the two of you have been figuring out." Oscar explains while y/n grins since she is really excited about it all.
"Yeah, skiing then home for Christmas, Bali, Australia, Finland. It's going to be so good. Plus I have the best Christmas presents lined up for everyone. Really I'm just excited to see all the photos you take, you always take the best photos." Y/n explains, her voice picking up in speed as she gets more excited and speaks faster. "Plus, your mum said I can help with making Christmas dinner and she's going to teach my some recipes that are your favourites."
Lando knows that Cisca is a huge fan of y/n's rambling too. His dad doesn't quite understand, he likes the girl but has somewhat told Lando that sometimes it's hard to have a conversation, though Cisca always immediately comes to her defence and insists that y/n just speaks everything she thinks and it is something that is very much endearing to her.
Clearly mother and son are alike for this.
-
Flights tend to be when Lando really gets the chance to sit and listen to y/n who, yes, can talk through an entire flight. She sleeps on longer flights too, but shorter flights are where you'll catch her just completely caught in her thoughts.
Today though, she catches an expression on Lando's face that makes her stutter and stumble to a silence.
"What?" Lando smiles as she looks at him.
"Just you're looking at me in that way." Y/n murmurs while Lando smirks a little.
"What way?"
"Like you know something I don't." Y/n sighs then moving to straddle one of his legs, a spark of thought behind her eyes which tells him that she is dropping the matter of his expression. "I was thinking-"
"As you always are."
"-obviously I've never been skiing or travelled much without you, so when we go...if there's something I want to do, it's alright if I go off and do it?" Y/n sighs earning a look from her boyfriend before he grins at her.
"Baby, I want to do new things with you. Can I do them with you too?" Lando pouts making her look at him for a moment.
A rambling splutter of words come out trying to assure him that she'd of course want to do everything with him but also knew he had activities planned with Martin that she wouldn’t want to interrupt.
“We can always just change plans. It doesn’t have to be that we can’t change things up.” Lando smiles then gently rubbing her thighs. “You don’t have to get so panicky with me baby.”
“I know, it’s just things a huge trip and obviously i don’t want anything to happen because i love you and spending the winter break with you feels huge and-“
“You love me?” Lando chokes out, cutting into her sentence while she freezes a little.
Y/n’s eyes widen and for once she has no words coming out her mouth. In fact she nearly scrambles to get off of her boyfriend and find somewhere to hide away from him.
“No. No. Y/n, stop. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Lando tries holding her down to make her stop and freeze. “Baby, I love you too. Ok? I love you too, it’s just it dawned on me that we really hadn’t said it to each other before and I…didn’t realise it had taken so long for us to actually pluck up the courage to say anything.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’m just glad one of us actually said something.”
Y/n smiles a little shyly before being pulled forward into a tight hug that she is more than happy to use as a means for her to hide her face in his neck and try to disappear from his sight.
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chaoticbardlady99 · 4 months
Text
I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! Reader)
Synopsis- It’s been 4 months since you last saw Astarion and 3 months since you killed the Netherbrain with your other companions. Shortly after, you settled down in Silverymoon to begin a life out there and try to push Astarion out of your mind- except it can never be that easy. You shortly discover you are pregnant with his child- a child that could kill you during childbirth. Scared and alone- Shadowheart stays with you to help you deliver the baby and keep you alive.
While out at the local market, Shadowheart runs into Gale and invites him over for dinner. Gale has unexpected company.
CW: Pregnancy, mentions of potential death during birth, mentions of nudity, mentions of NSFW smut
To my fellow DND fans- no this is probably not canon compliant, yes I’m upset about that, but look I really needed to write this so sue me I guess
Author note- Self indulgent, I have baby fever, but don’t want a baby fic. I’m unsure of how long this will be or if it will have more parts-it depends on how angsty I feel, but I need to have like six different ideas to think about at a time soooo 😂
*This hasn’t been edited ✨well✨so please forgive me
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*again, no fucking clue who’s picture it is, but it sure as shit isn’t mine so if it’s yours- reach out so I can give credit!
You keep yourself propped up against the sink in the kitchen as Shadowheart holds your hair out of your face and dabbing away the cold sweat that drips down your neck.
You are really sick of being morning sick. It’s absolutely the worst thing in the world- well besides your potential death from carrying your little girl inside of you. You sometimes think Astarion may get his wish- you may just die screaming.
You dry heave one last time- not a single thing comes up because you haven’t kept a single thing down since two mornings ago. Your morning sickness is inconsistent and comes on with little to no warning.
It’s been five months since you conceived this fricken kid, but it was like all the symptoms hit after you killed the Netherbrain.
A part of you really wishes you had somehow known before then- maybe it would have changed the cruel fate that ended your relationship with Astarion. You were literally pregnant in the middle of fighting Cazador. You think about what he last said to you all the time and just sob hysterically- like it happened yesterday.
A deeper part of you feels abandoned, but you blame yourself for him leaving. You should have been more convincing or maybe you shouldn’t have flat out told him no and explained why in the hells you didn’t want him to ascend.
For example- you didn’t want to lose him to some evil version of himself.
Ironically, you lost him anyway and are pregnant with his fucking child who insists on occasionally making you miserable.
Despite your inherent sadness, anger, and sickness, you find you are actually quite excited to meet her. You haven’t settled on a name yet and Shadowheart has been very helpful in regards to making sure you are healthy and strong for delivery. She’s your best friend and you could not be more grateful for her.
“I’ll go back to the market today and get you more of those herbs,” Shadowheart says quietly when she talks to you, “they seemed to help last time?”
You nod- exhausted and your head is pounding. You and this kid are going to need to have a serious conversation. You will not be letting a second Acunin make you miserable before she is ever born.
Shadowheart guides you to your bed upstairs, standing behind you in case you get hit with a wave of vertigo- which usually happens post vomit episode.
You pull your curtains closed- thankful that the desperate hope in your heart led you to buying black out curtains. You close your door and lay down on your bed- tears spilling down your cheeks freely.
You miss him terribly. You shouldn’t. You should positively hate him, but everyday of this pregnancy makes you ache for him. You should be doing this together.
You know it’s hormones- the weepiness, the intense longing, and the Gods awful horniness. Dreams are the worst. You wake up a squirming disaster at least three times a week with your skin burning hot with memories of Astarion touching you.
You are happy that isn’t the case currently, but the weepiness sucks too. Remembering how he used to curl around you, the way it felt to have him kiss you on the forehead, and all those late night conversations with (now empty) promises. You curl yourself around your pillows, willing your imagination to pretend it’s him, and you sob until you fall asleep.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Astarion tries to contain his excitement and fear as he follows Gale and Shadowheart to your home. Finally, after searching for literal months, he was going to see you again.
Astarion has been haunted by the last words he had said to you for what feels like eons now. He hadn’t meant it at the time and he certainly doesn’t mean it now.
He had been too afraid to come back to you after everything he had said. Astarion decided you probably hate him anyway so he tried to move on.
He tried being with other people (it always failed miserably because they weren’t you), he drank until he couldn’t remember a damn thing, and when all else failed, he began his search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.
After the nightlife of Baldur’s Gate lost it’s appeal and he finally found a ring location, Astarion found himself in front of Gale’s door in Waterdeep- begging him of all people to help him.
The wizard had been puzzled and melancholy when he realized Astarion was at his door. Astarion told him every little piece of how he feels about you, how much he misses you, and how he wants to be able to give you the life that you deserve. Astarion was practically on the verge of hysteria while trying to make his case.
Thus began the search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.
They were able to locate and obtain one after a grueling three month long journey and some help from one of Gale’s old friends. Then, they headed straight to Silverymoon- your last known whereabouts.
Running into Shadowheart had felt like a miracle, but to also have her living with you had made the trip even easier. Except Shadowheart was being really really weird towards him.
When Gale first asked if Astarion could come along too, Shadowheart had asked Astarion why he wanted to come and see the person he “hoped died screaming?”
Astarion had flinched at the anger and venom in Shadowheart’s voice. He figured the others would be mad, but he was hoping maybe Shadowheart would give him a little easier time like Gale had. Astarion was genuinely surprised by how quick she was to be defensive of you and your whereabouts. When Gale confirmed that Astarion was telling the truth, Shadowheart reluctantly said he could come.
The three arrive at the front of your shared townhome- it faces the beach and has the perfect amount of windows for the sun to light up the house, but one of the rooms is hidden from sight with heavy, black out curtains.
Shadowheart turns to both of them, “Tav might not be able to join us… she’s been sick for a bit now and is… recuperating.”
Astarion feels his heart drop to his stomach.
“Sick? For how long?”
Shadowheart shifts on her feet uncomfortably, “5 months, but it got worse around 3 months.”
“Tav has been sick for that long?” Gale exclaims, “why didn’t you write!? I could have helped.”
“This particular affliction is one you wouldn’t understand,” Shadowheart says with a finality that suggests the conversation is done as she leads them into the kitchen.
Shadowheart immediately gets fussing with the herbs while Gale looks around the house. Astarion is still unsure of what he should be doing. The house engulfs him in your scent and he feels positively intoxicated. You must be really sick though because your scent smells different- not bad at all, just different.
Does he talk to Shadowheart? Does he look around with Gale?
Or does he sneak off and find you? Astarion doesn’t want to waste anymore time than he already has. Slowly, he creeps towards the stairs.
“Don’t even think about it, Astarion,” Shadowheart warns.
Astarion looks at her and then back at the stairs. He does this a couple times until Shadowheart appears to be annoyed enough that she’s let her guard down a bit.
Astarion takes off up the steps and he hears Shadowheart and Gale coming up right behind him.
Astarion hears a dry heave from down the hallway and he goes racing for the door.
If you are as sick as Shadowheart has suggested (5 months is crazy long), Astarion may not have much time with you and Gods he needs to take advantage of the time he does have.
Shadowheart be damned.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You wake up feeling even worse than you did when you fell asleep. Your headache feels like it’s taken on a life on it’s own and Gods you are going to vomit all over the floor if you don’t move NOW!
You get up with an impossible amount of speed for how dizzy you are and you grab the pail on your nightstand and heave painfully.
You are rocking back and forth, groaning as more stomach acid comes up because again, not able to even keep anything down.
You hear a pair of footsteps and then Shadowheart screaming after-
“ASTARION! THEY ARE SICK! YOU NEED TO WAIT!”
“I have been looking for them for months now,” you hear him hiss, “if they are sick, I need to see them. If this has lasted five months- then who knows how much time I’ve wasted!”
“Will you stop being selfish for five minutes!? It’s not about you and who even says she wants to see you!?”
Shadowheart and Astarion are yelling in front of your door now. You feel tears prick your eyes- Astarion is here. Here here. A flurry of excited kicks from inside you catches your attention and a feeling of blissful happiness comes over you. Oh look, the nausea is gone. Of course it is.
“Traitor,” you whisper before laying down on your bed for a moment.
You are very happy that your unborn daughter appears to be pleased and feels good about her dad being on the other side of the door. You, on the other hand, are less than optimistic.
Wasted time doing what? And why did Shadowheart say I was sick!? In what world was that going to keep him from going upstairs!? Especially if he, your mind pauses, cares about me? Again?
Which you hope he does- you would hope Shadowheart wasn’t so sick of taking care of you that she brought him here to finish the job. Maybe this is all one big show.
Another, “I WILL DO WHAT I PLEASE” from Astarion, a “YOU SELFISH BASTARD” from Shadowheart, and a “Please can’t we all just be nice, catch up, and get along?” from Gale finally gives you the motivation to get up. The arguing feels far too much like being in camp again. You pinch the bridge of your nose, willing the growing headache to go away.
It doesn’t so you change into a pair of longer cotton pajama pants, a t-shirt that is unfortunately showing off your bump more than you’d like, and then you swing open the door in tired annoyance.
You are met with Astarion looking at you- his eyes scanning up and down your body- settling on your stomach. His expression is unreadable- it’s somewhere between lust, love, grief, and heartbreak. Embarrassed by Astarion’s intense gaze, you look over at Gale who is all smiles for you.
“Congratulations Tav!!!” Gale practically yells, making you wince, “the father is a lucky man.”
“I don’t think he considers himself a lucky man,” you say pointedly before turning to Astarion, “or do you?”
Astarion’s face changes entirely with your words. His eyes look at you, round and soft. His eyes are full of adoration and need- a look you never thought he would give you again. You have to fight the urge to grab him and drag him into your bedroom. You will not let the hormones win- you will be strong.
“I- it’s- I mean,” Astarion is fumbling over his words, “you are carrying my child?”
“Yes,” you say grumpily, crossing your arms,” and she’s been giving me nothing but trouble. Thanks to your genetics, I’m sure. This is day two of not being able to keep a damn thing down and this fucking headache is UNBEARABLE so please for the love of every God keep the arguing down.”
Astarion is still looking at you with a mystified expression- taking you in as if for the first time in his entire life. You look back towards Gale and Shadowheart- you are entirely too self-conscious and way too excited to see him for him to be looking at you like that. You are trying to be mad dammit!
Shadowheart gazes at you and your surely red tipped ears with amusement before she says, “I’ll go and get the potion ready for you- that should hopefully help.”
“I will- uh,” Gale says awkwardly, looking between you and Astarion, “join you! I might need to know which herbs to use… in the future?”
“Planning on getting pregnant Gale?” You say with a smirk.
Gale snorts at you, “Dear friend, as wonderful as you look right now- none of the side effects sound appealing.”
“Oh they most certainly aren’t,” you say,” but thanks for thinking I look ‘wonderful’. I feel, well, disgusting.”
“Gods, how could you even think that?” Astarion blurts out, appearing shocked that he even said it, “you look like…. A vision. A wonderful, stunning vision, Darling.”
Shadowheart and Gale excuse themselves as you struggle to find the words for Astarion’s comment. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire and you feel yourself begin to melt a little bit. You feel your emotions bloom into something resembling spring as he steps closer to you- looking at you with pleading eyes.
You clear your throat, “would you like to come into my room and talk?”
Astarion nods eagerly, following behind you so close that you once again have to remind yourself that ripping off the clothes of someone who literally told you they wanted you to die screaming was not healthy- at least not until you get a proper apology.
You sit against your headboard as Astarion walks around your room- running his fingers along the bassinet and rocking chair in the corner. You still can’t get a read on him.
“A girl?”
His question breaks the air.
“Yes,” you smile at him, “no name yet though.”
“I’m sure you’ll pick a nice one,” he says with a smile, but his tone is entirely too melancholic.
A painful thump in your heart fills your body with sadness. He doesn’t want to be involved. Of course he doesn’t want to be involved. You are his knocked up ex-girlfriend. What were you expecting? The lump forming in your throat is unbearable.
“You don’t want to be involved?”
Oh good Gods you are crying. Astarion rushes over to you the minute your tears begin to fall- sitting in front of you on the bed. He reaches out and gently wipes your tears away as he speaks.
“I want to be involved so badly it hurts,” his voice comes out scratchy and emotional, “but that is your decision, not mine. You have been on your own for months, my Love. Instead of trying to come back and make it better- I pushed it off until I thought I could give you what you deserved- a life in the sun.”
You almost whine in protest when his hands leave your face. He twists the ring around his index finger before continuing, avoiding your gaze, “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe what you deserve is a person that isn’t so damaged. Someone who can give you what you actually deserve which is a loving partner who hasn’t hurt you over and over again- a man worthy of being a father to ou- I mean your child.”
His confession and the tears that are streaming down his face are enough for you. Yes, you absolutely want to scream and yell at him, but you also ache for him. You can’t fault the man for being a slave for 200 years and then not taking it very well when you told him what to do. You always knew you would forgive him if he came back- you never thought he would, but here he is and like he said- there is no reason to keep wasting time.
“She is our child, Star,” you whisper and guide his eyes to look at you, “I want you to be involved. I don’t care what you think I deserve either. I have missed you so horribly since you left. It’s almost pathetic really. I’ve tried to blame it on the hormones, but… I don’t know. The picture has felt incomplete up until now.”
You absentmindedly put your hand on your stomach- receiving a kick. You glare at the place where your hand is resting.
“Will you stop kicking me for five minutes!?” You scream, “I WAS IN THIS BODY FIRST!”
Astarion looks at you bewildered and confused, but quickly realizes you aren’t talking about him. The smile that spreads across his face is wide and Astarion gingerly moves closer. You are still a little cautious- needing to protect not only yourself, but also your unborn child. He moves to the right of you and goes to move you just slightly so he can slip in behind you.
“Could I? I mean if it’s not crossing any boundaries!”
Astarion is on edge- you can tell that much, but he doesn’t look at you like he did that last time you saw him- Astarion is looking at you like you are the most precious individual who has ever walked this earth.
You nod shyly, and then Astarion slots himself behind you, your back against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck, and his legs on either side of yours. He cautiously puts his hands on your stomach and is immediately kicked.
Astarion laughs with joy, “she’s strong!”
“Strong willed and strong physically,” you shake your head and you are laughing a bit now too, “you may just get your wish yet.”
“What wish?”
It had slipped. You hadn’t meant to bring it up again- or maybe you did. You want to know for sure if he still feels that way, but the confusion in his voice says he doesn’t. You go rigid and go to dismiss it when you feel his posture change behind you, his grip loosening ever so slightly.
“Right… that.”
The silence is nerve-wracking. You’ve lost him again, you are sure of it. A stray tear begins to roll down your cheek.
“Astarion-“
“No, let me think, Darling. I want to make sure I say everything I want to say correctly.”
You continue to sit there in silence, he places soft kisses on your neck. You feel him smile against your skin at the needy moan that escapes your lips. You absentmindedly reach out for one of his hands and begin to play with his fingers while he thinks. Astarion used to let you do this all the time while you were traveling- it helps you feel grounded.
“I was so consumed by all that power in the moment,” he says slowly, “I wasn’t thinking. By the time I had realized what I had done, I felt like it was already too late- you most likely hated me and moved on.”
You have to bite your tongue- you want to scream. Hate him? Never. You had been miserable without him around for that last month of traveling. Your heart had felt like a dead weight in your chest and you had been moving around like a zombie.
“So I tried to move on… I even tried to be with others, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s selfish, but I want you. I never want anything bad to happen to you- I certainly don’t ever want you to die screaming. I don’t want you to ever carry a child that is not mine.”
You are surprised by the warmth in your core when he says his last sentence. There is something so primal there that you have to really focus on what he is saying next.
Astarion clears his throat before finishing speaking, “I don’t want to be without you anymore- four months is too long. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of your pregnancy and I want to be here for you- with you- doing this together like we should have been doing this whole time. I was a horrible fool- please give me another chance. Please, Darling. I love you- so so much more than I ever thought anyone could ever love someone.”
Astarion’s words hang in the air and you are trying not to begin crying for the 15th billion time. This is what you had wanted to hear all along. You can feel his tears on the collar of your shirt- the way he inhales as if to memorize your scent like this is the last time. Astarion is not expecting you to say yes- you know that because he’s starting to loosen up, pulling away from you so that he can respect your decision.
“I love you too,” you whisper, “I don’t want to be without you anymore either. I forgive you- please stay.”
“I won’t be going anywhere unless you want me too, my Love.”
746 notes · View notes
hughes86-43 · 2 months
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Always | L.Hughes
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warnings - none! probably some grammar errors!
summary - Dad!Luke fluff! (w a bit of sadness(?) for like two paragraphs)
“Daddy! Daddy! you’re home!” Your daughter said to Luke as soon as he had gotten in through the front door of your house.
As she said it, she was running as fast as she could to him, and as soon as she got to him, Luke scooped her up and held her in his arms, “I am baby, I missed you! Where is mommy at?”
“Mommas is in the kitchen, she’s getting dinner ready!” Your daughter said, her and Luke made their way in the kitchen to find you.
As soon as Luke said he was heading home, you got busy making dinner for all of you, like you always do. Looking up from your phone, where you were texting Luke’s mom Ellen about a recipe, you heard footsteps coming closer. Putting your phone down, you keep an eye on the doorway, slowly you see two sets of eyes look around the corner, along with some giggling.
Keeping up the same theatrics, you creep closer to them, trying not to giggle yourself. As you make it to the doorway, you say, “I’m going to get you two!”
“Ah mommy no!” As your daughter buries her face in Luke’s neck laughing.
“If you two are going to try to scare me, you at least have to be quieter,” You say looking up at your daughter and Luke. Luke just throws his head back laughing, and he pulls you into his side to hug you also.
“We will try better next time,” He says going for a kiss, “I’ve missed you both.”
He had been gone for a week long roadie, and you and your daughter had been calling and FaceTiming him all week any chance you could. Although, you were used to it, having been with him since you were 19, your daughter hasn’t fully gotten used to it. You two had her by accident when you were both 21, and although it was rough, with you still finishing school and Luke getting the hang of playing for the Devils, you both wouldn’t trade it for the world.
“We’ve missed you too, haven’t we honey?”, asking your daughter.
Nodding her head, she says, “Can I go play with my toys now?”
Laughing at her impatience, Luke sets her down and she’s off to play with her toys. Bringing you into a full on hug now, he says, “How have you been momma?”
“I’ve been good, she’s a handful sometimes, but other than that, it’s been good, but I’m so glad you’re home now.”
“Me too and we have home games for a bit, so I’ll be here for a while,” Luke kissed your forehead. “Now whatcha cooking? I’m starving”
“Babe you’re always hungry, but I’ve gotten a recipe for spaghetti from your mom that I’ve been wanting to try, it’s baked spaghetti, so it’s just finishing up in the oven,” He follows you back into the kitchen, “Do you want to go shower and change while it’s finishing up?”
“I took a shower before we boarded the plane, so I’ll just go change real quick,” giving you a quick pat on the butt, he turns and walks out of the kitchen, stopping to talk to your daughter real quick.
You hear their conversation from the kitchen, your daughter says, “Daddy! Look at the new Barbie mommy got me!”
You know what’s going to come next since you and Luke both told each other not to get your daughter anymore presents since her birthday is so soon. However, you couldn’t tell her no after she gave you puppy dog eyes at the toy store.
Replying back to her, Luke says with a laugh, “Oh did she now? Doesn’t she know that you have enough toys! I love it though baby, I’ll be right back.”
Hearing Luke come back into the kitchen, you go back to checking on the food, you hear him cough, “Hey babe?”
Slightly turning your head, you give him a shy smile, “Yes?”
You see him leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face, he asks, “What happened to not getting her anymore toys until her birthday?”
You shrug your shoulders, “Umm I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You couldn’t resist giving him a sweet smile, as you know he’s not really mad about it.
“Hmm sure you do,” he says with a wink, “As if you didn’t get on to me about bringing her home a stuffed bear two weeks ago.”
“Hey! You know as good as me that you can never say no to those puppy dog eyes!”, you say, and he makes his way around the kitchen island to you again.
Coming to stand behind you, he whispers into your ear, “Don’t worry I couldn’t resist not bringing her home another stuffed animal, I think we both have a problem babe.”
Leaning back into his chest, you laugh. “We better stop before we have to convert a whole other room into a play room just for her toys.”
“I know, I know. I just hate not coming back with anything, especially when I’m gone for so long,” he says resting his chin on your head.
Sighing you say, “I get it, we both know it’s hard, but she’ll understand eventually. She just misses her dad sometimes but she knows you’ll always come back home to her.”
Squeezing you tighter, he adds, “And I’ll always come back home to you too, always the both of you, forever.”
Turning around you kiss him, humming into the kiss, he pulls you into him and you run your hands up and down his back. The oven timer has you both pulling away, “I’ll get it out and get everything done, if you go change into something comfier and then check on her and bring her in here.”
“Sounds good, but don’t think I’m not going to continue this little make out session later tonight,” he says winking at you again. Even though you have been together for years, he never fails at making you blush.
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1nyourdr34ms · 2 months
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make you happy
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+18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
pairing: insecure bf mark x fem!reader
synopsis: mark becomes insecure about your sex life, so you decide to show him, how much you care for him.
warnings: giving him a blow job.
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you and mark are the quintessential power couple - living proof that true love is no fairy tale. but sometimes you don't even realize how you managed to snag this man.
first, you were close friends at university and now after uni you've become lovebirds. he comes from a picture-book family, super elitist and with endless money, while you see your biggest flex as having put the uni scrap behind you.
sometimes you really wonder what he sees in you to call you his girlfriend, whereas he had the choice of so many super hot girls at uni who were also in his league and would be a better match for him.
even his brother, jisung and his cousin, jaemin are totally on your side and rave about your relationship with mark. it all feels like a dream.
in comparison, your family was more of a nightmare - with parents who are characterized by mental health issues and emotional immaturity. they were always very strict, controlling and afraid of losing you. but somehow you managed to convince them to let you move out of your parents house.
you wanted to stand on your own two feet, take life by the horns and grow up. plus, you wanted to spend more time with mark, which was quite difficult with your parents at home.
your parents had no idea about your thing with mark. you were not sure how they would see him, or what mark and his family would think of yours. it was clear to you that if your two worlds collided, it would probably be the end of your love.
so you kept the thing with mark under the radar. you thought that at some point the puzzle would fall into place and that would be the perfect moment to let the cat out of the bag.
of course, mark had wanted to meet your parents for a long time, but at first he couldn't understand why you were constantly trying to get him to let go of this intention. but he slowly started to get suspicious.
when it came to moving in to your first own apartment, mark, jisung and jaemin were there to lend a hand. after around 1.5 months, everything was in place, perfectly furnished, just as you had always imagined.
as a thank you, you invited mark, jisung, jaemin and minji to dinner. minji was your only best female friend since high school.
dinner took place in a cozy atmosphere. the tv is ran in the background, but no one really paid any attention to it.
jaemin couldn‘t hide his admiration for your cooking skills. his eyes lit up as he looked at the various dishes on the table and finally slid a large piece of homemade lasagna onto his plate. "it all looks so incredibly delicious, noona."
jisung, who watched jaemin out of the corner of his eye and couldn‘t help but smile. it was the familiar atmosphere that made him giddy. jisung's smile widened when he saw jaemin's indulgence and he leaned back, taking in the scene.
at the other end of the table, you were chatting animatedly with minji. you swapped stories from your university days, laughed about past misadventures and planned future adventures.
"do you remember that crazy trip to barcelona during the spring semester?" minji interjected, her eyes twinkled with amusement. "and how could you forget that guy you used to see… what was his name again? mingyu?"
your heart stopped for a moment. mingyu was a name that mark was completely unfamiliar with.
you glanced quickly at mark, who is drinking a glass of beer. his face remained unreadable, and he set his glass down without showing any movement that would indicate he was paying particular attention to your conversation.
"ah, mingyu…" you began cautiously, trying to hide your surprise and quickly change the subject. "that was nothing serious. let's just remember the good old days, shall we?“
minji nodded, perhaps realizing she's broached a touchy subject, and deftly steered the conversation in a safer direction.
you continued chatting, jumping from one topic to the next, but yours and marks thoughts were circling in the back of your minds around another topic.
as a matter of fact, your family wasn't the only thing you were hiding from him.
it was also mingyu. your former fuck buddy. you and Mingyu had met in high school and were immediately strongly attracted physically without any feelings for each other.
it was absolutely instinct-based. you learned a lot from him about sex. he was already much more experienced than you and whenever you were bored or horny, he was always ready for you on the other end of the phone.
the thing with him continued even after you met mark. but as soon as you became an official couple, you stopped seeing him.
unfortunately, mark didn't know about it and thought you were always an angel. in the sense that he was your first real relationship (which was actually true) and also the first man you had your first sexual experience with (well, that wasn't quite true after all).
you were unsure how he would react or which secret was worse for your relationship: that your family is mentally ill or that you used to have a fuck buddy?
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after the others had left, mark stayed behind to help you with the washing up.
you stood next to each other in the cozy kitchen, which was still filled with the aroma of dinner. the soft lighting cast a warm glow on your faces, and the gentle splashing of water from the tap underscored the silence that spread between you.
mark handed you the last of the plates, you took them with a smile, dipped them in the dishwater and began to clean them carefully. the silence stretched on a moment too long and you felt mark clear his throat, a sign that something was on his mind.
"babe, when can i finally meet your parents?", his voice was soft, but you could detect a hint of uncertainty that caught you off guard.
your heart began to beat faster and you could feel your hands shaking in the dishwater. you tried to mask your excitement and focused on the plates as you frantically searched for an answer that would change the subject.
„you know, the weather's supposed to be lovely this weekend. maybe we could go on a trip, just the two of us?", your attempt to change the subject was obvious, you felt mark's eyes on you.
"are you all right?", his voice sounded more concerned now and you felt cornered, unable to avoid the direct confrontation. your mind was working at full speed as you searched for a plausible lie that would stop mark from asking any more questions about your parents.
"i… my parents are on a long trip at the moment", you lied, your voice shaking slightly. "they're very adventurous and often hard to reach. i don't want you to get a bad impression because they're not there to meet you", you hoped your words would convince him, avoiding looking him straight in his eyes.
mark seemed to hesitate for a moment, but suddenly you felt his arms wrap around you from behind and pull you into a warm embrace.
his kiss on your neck made you forget all your worries for a moment, so you leaned into his embrace.
but the peace didn't last long, because he broke the silence with a soft, almost innocent murmur, "and who is mingyu?"
this question hit you like a blow. your heart stopped for a moment. the warmth of his embrace suddenly felt suffocating as you struggled to catch your breath. your mind raced with thoughts of how to navigate this new turn of events without hurting ,ark or jeopardizing your relationship.
you pretended that his question did not upset you and tried to stay cool.
with a slightly forced smile, you turned slightly to him and asked, "how did you suddenly come up with that name?", your voice was light and casual, but inside you were seething.
mark continued to mumble into your neck as his eyes fixated on you doing the dishes.
"i heard you and minji talking earlier," he confessed quietly, "and you looked kind of uncomfortable with the name 'mingyu'. is he someone you should be uncomfortable around?", his words were gentle, but you sensed the meaning behind them.
you pondered for a moment as you turned off the water and slowly turned to face him.
your eyes search for an excuse, but the truth pushed itself inexorably to the forefront of your mind.
mark encouraged you with a gentle gesture. he placed his hand over your forehead and ran his fingers gently over your cheeks. "you can trust me, baby," he whispered, and there was a depth in his eyes that showed you he meant it.
despite your uncertainty, you let yourself be reassured by mark's assurance that he won't judge you or be angry with you if you tell him the true story. you asked for a promise.
deep down, you knew that this was the moment to open up, but the fear of losing him weighed heavily on your heart.
mark became uncomfortable as he sensed that what you have to say might be probably unpleasant. his jaw muscles tightened, but he nodded and said firmly, "i promise“,
with a deep breath that took more courage than you ever thought possible, you finally released the words you've kept hidden for so long.
"mingyu, he.. he was my… fuck buddy during college", you confessed softly, almost whispering, as if the softer mood might soften the harshness of your words.
every word was hard for you to say, as if you were destroying a piece of the image mark had of you.
mark's reaction could not be hidden. a shadow of shock and horror flit across his face, a sight that broke your heart.
the fear of looking him in the eye as you made your confession stopped you from seeking his gaze. instead, you focused your eyes on the wet tea towel in your hands, which you unconsciously twisted as if you could wring out your nervousness with it.
„it was before i met you," you continued, your voice shaking with every word. "i was young and… and i didn't really know what i wanted. mingyu was just… there. it was never emotional, always physical."
you felt the distance between you, though physically unchanged, became an unbridgeable gap emotionally. mark's silence was deafening. you didn't dare to reach for his hand.
in the oppressive silence that had spread between you, you almost didn't dare to speak, but the question escaped your lips like a whisper, "are you okay, mark?", your voice was so quiet that it was almost drowned out by the sound of the water still dripping slowly from the tap.
mark looked as if he was pulling himself back from a scene, as if his mind has been far away and needed to find his way back to reality. he blinked once or twice before turning his gaze to you, his eyes searching your face as if looking for an answer he couldn't find in your words.
"is that all?", his voice is calm, but there was a depth to it that left you confused.
your brows furrowed, confused by his question. "what do you mean?", your own voice sounded strange, as if you were speaking from a great distance.
mark took a deep breath, as if he needed to prepare for his next words. "was this dude all he was to you?", his question was direct and you sensed how important the answer was to him.
you nodded, the confirmation came quickly and without hesitation. "y-y-yes, he never meant anything more. i never loved him", you said emphatically, your voice stronger than before.
"you're my first real love, mark. i love you more than anything, and mingyu… he's just someone from my past", your words were honest, and you put all your feelings into each sentence, hoping he could see the truth in them.
mark looked down at the floor for a moment, as if he was weighing your words and considering what they meant to him. the silence stretched out, becoming another actor in this scene, charged with tension.
"are you angry?“, your voice was barely more than a breath, a mixture of fear and hope resonating in it.
mark forced a smile onto his lips, a faint sign of understanding, and shaked his head slowly.
"no, i'm not angry", he finally said, his voice firmer, as if he needed to convince himself of his words. "you said he is in the past. and your past won't change anything about my love for you", his words were like a balm for your torn soul, and you felt a weight fall from your shoulders.
touched by his generosity and understanding, you overcame the last distance between you and hug him tightly, „thank you“.
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although mark assured you that evening that he wasn't angry and that everything was fine, you noticed a noticeable change in his behavior in the days that followed.
he seemed more distant than usual, his answers were short and his usually lively eyes often seemed absent.
it was the little things that you noticed: how he sometimes paused in the middle of a conversation, as if his thoughts took him to distant worlds, or how his smile, which used to be so warm and sincere, now carried a hint of melancholy.
one evening, when you had snuggled up together in your bedroom to watch a movie, you became particularly aware of mark's changed mood.
you two lay snuggled up close on your bed, the soft comforter wrapped around you, and the flickering light from the tv cast shimmering patterns on the wall. but despite the supposed closeness, you felt a distance between you that weighed heavier than ever before.
during the movie, you noticed that mark was barely paying attention to the action.
when you asked him a question about a scene, he didn't respond, his gaze fixed on the screen, but his thoughts seemed far away.
you felt his arm tight around you, his fingers occasionally tracing gentle patterns on your bare thigh or waist, but these touches, once so full of affection, now seemed mechanical and lacking the usual warmth.
in the middle of the movie, you pressed pause and suggested to take a short break. mark just nodded, his gaze still absent, and got up to go to the bathroom. his reaction left you puzzled.
you had hoped that he would take the opportunity to talk to you, perhaps even talk about his obvious inner turmoil. but he chose to escape into the solitude of the bathroom, leaving you alone with your worries and the oppressive silence of the room.
when Mark returned from the bathroom, he grabbed the remote control without hesitation, as if he just wanted to pick up where you left off.
but you were quicker, snatched the remote control from him in one swift movement and put it aside. mark looked at you in astonishment, obviously surprised by your decisive gesture.
"there's something wrong with you", you said, your voice firm and determined as you looked directly at him.
"you have to speak to me. now.", your words were clear and left no room for evasive maneuvers.
mark avoided your gaze, his shoulders slumped a little. "it's nothing, really," he tried to deflect, his voice flat, as if he wanted to end the conversation as quickly as possible and return to the apparent normality of movie night.
but you didn't let up. with a mischievous twinkle in your eye and a playful tone in your voice, you jokingly threatened him, "if you don't open up now, i'll ban you from kissing me for the next two weeks", your attempt to lighten the situation carried a serious message: that he could trust you and open up.
mark hesitated for a moment, seeming almost shy, before asking the question that had obviously been on his mind for a while. "are you… happy with me?", his voice was quiet, almost uncertain, as if he was afraid of the answer.
your confusion was obvious. why was he suddenly doubting your relationship?
"of course i am," you replied reflexively, but mark didn't let up.
"again, are you really happy with me? can i satisfy you?“, his questions now came more fluently, revealing the deeper insecurities that were tormenting him.
the atmosphere in the room had changed.
what had just been a cozy movie night had turned into a serious conversation. the soft comforter that enveloped you and the flickering light of the tv in the background created an intimate setting for this unexpectedly profound conversation.
your mind was racing. where did his sudden doubts come from? was it because of your past with mingyu?
mark's voice carried a seriousness that made you stop and really listen.
"i don't want you to feel like you're missing anything when you’re with me or that anything is falling short", he said with a candor that touched you.
"please tell me, if i can do anything better to keep you happy."
as you processed his words, you were still trying to understand why he suddenly felt that way. "of course i'm happy with everything in our relationship", you assured him, putting all your conviction into those words. "i'm overjoyed with you, mark."
but mark didn't let up, his uncertainty was still palpable. "are you sure? are you… satisfied with our… sex life?", the way he said 'sex life' made him seem almost vulnerable, as if this was the core of his insecurities.
your first reaction was to giggle - not in derision, but because the phrase was so unexpected and somehow sweet. how could he possible come to the conclusion that you would question it? it never once crossed your mind.
you moved closer to him, grabbed his face gently with both hands and looked him straight in the eye. "i'm more than pleased with our sex life", you said with a mixture of tenderness and emphasis. "you are everything i could wish for and more."
the intimacy of that moment, the closeness and the honesty in your words seemed to touch mark.
there was a sparkle in his eyes that you had missed for so long. the cool distance that had built up between you began to melt away.
with a gentle tug, you moved so that you were now sitting on his legs, your knees gently wrapped around his sides. your hands, still cupping his face, gently pulled him closer to you.
mark responded to your invitation, his hands wrapping around your waist, gently, yet with a determination that betrayed his longing for closeness.
your first kiss that night washesitant. but with each subsequent kiss, which beame deeper and more passionate, the last trace of doubt dissolved.
a whimper escaped your lips as you felt his hand on the back of your knee, pulling you closer to him.
his other hand wrapped around your jaw, tilting your head and deepening the kiss.
your lips moved towards each other as your breathing quickend. your whole body was electrified.
mark pulled you even closer to him. you gasped as you could clearly feel how hard he had become beneath you.
you moaned softly as his lips moved sensually on yours and his mouth penetrated yours.
you've been playing with his hair the whole time, playing and pulling, now you ran your hands over his chest and even deeper until you were stroking his hard member.
mark let out a soft whimper.
you continued to stroke his member while he leaned his head back against the edge of the bed, breaking the kiss.
he looked so hot at this moment. the veins on his neck made him look so sexy everytime when he breathed out or swallowed, that you wanted to see more. you wanted to make him happy first.
"let me spoil you now, baby", you whispered in his ear.
then you reached for the hem of his pant, but before you could pull them down, you felt mark's hand on yours. "are you sure?", he asked with a shaky voice and innocent eyes.
you knew he was going for it. mark always liked it when you sucked his cock. you knew that he was just asking you out of politeness since it was in his nature.
you smiled and grabbed the hem of his jogging bottoms tighter without hesitation and pulled it down.
his member was literally crying out to be freed from his boxer shorts.
so you released his hard, pulsating cock from his boxers.
you bend down and gave him a little kiss on the tip before licking him from bottom to top.
you took his cock in your mouth and started bobbing your head up and down.
mark couldn't help but moan while he closed his eyes, his head still leaning on the edge of the bed.
"baby… this is… crazy…. fucking…", he moaned.
you moaned too as his cock rubbed against the inside of your mouth, filling it perfectly.
"yees… you're driving me crazy… you feel so… so… good…", he groaned.
your room was filled with your moans and the wet sound you made as you sucked mark's cock.
suddenly, mark started thrusting into your mouth.
he kept thrusting, touching the back of your throat.
"ahh… damn… i'm c-… close, y/n…. you can stop now…if you….if…", he murmured.
you shook your head as you groaned. you knew he didn't want you to stop.
he thrusted deeper until his tip touched the back of your throat.
your right hand lightly massaged his balls as your tongue was swirled around his cock.
"shit…. shit…", he cursed as you slowed down a little.
then you kept going as fast as you could while your mouth became sore from sliding his cock in and out of your mouth.
you could feel mark tensing up in your mouth just a few seconds before he came in your mouth.
after emptying all his seed down your throat, he pulled out. "you're amazing, babe…", he said while he rolled his eyes back and smiled lazily.
the room was filled with both of your breathless gasps.
you swallowed his cum and licked your lips.
"was that satisfying?", you asked.
mark chuckled, still trying to catch his breath as he watched at you.
"come here.", he held out his arm. you crawled to his side as he pulled you into his arms.
"man, this is going to be a long night", he said. you raised your eyebrows. "why?" you asked, puzzled.
"because i'll do anything to fucking satisfy you twice as much what you did to me", and with that, he pulled you in for another kiss.
it was so ridiculous of you to think that mark would leave you because of your past. after he was so understanding about your past habit, you thought that maybe it wouldn't be so wrong to introduce him to your family.
that night, mark gave you the best sex of your life. it was a moment in which the emotional closeness and mutual understanding you felt for each other was expressed in a physical union that further strengthened your relationship and made you feel truly one.
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amhrosina · 11 months
Text
It's Always Been You
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Summary: You and Miguel are forced to confront your feelings for one another after a dangerous mission goes awry.
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man 2099) x fem!Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
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a/n: i cannot stop thinking about this man ohmygod anyways im overwhelmed by the love being shown for my other miguel fic and cant wait to add more to this community!!! thank you!!! (should i do a part two with smut? like friends to lovers first time?? lemme know <;3)
warnings: friends to lovers, arguing, some angst, love confessions!!!!!, reader calls miguel a name, idiots in love tbh, references to a dangerous situation (but no details i kept it super vague lol), starts to get a little suggestive at the end but is like 99% fluff
Miguel was ignoring you. Not in the usual, self-brooding, grumpy way he sometimes did when he was having a bad day, but in the way that told you he was furious with you. Anger had been radiating off of him in waves since your chaotic return to Nueva York a few hours earlier, and you, along with every other Spider-person at headquarters, was avoiding his workspace like the plague. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to console him, but you knew, probably better than anyone, that when Miguel wanted to brood, he would. You would try again later, and eventually you’d make him laugh, and the world would right itself again. It always did.
Spider-Woman huffed, plopping into the seat next to yours in the cafeteria, slamming her tray down hard enough to knock your tablet on its side. Clearly, she was upset about something. 
“Is everyone pissed off today?” You asked indignantly.
She glared at you, shoving a bite of sandwich in her mouth before answering.
“Miguel’s being pissy.” She glared at you. “And it’s your fault.”
“I can’t imagine why. We got the guy, didn’t we?” 
“We both know what you did was reckless.” Her glare intensified, and your annoyance shifted to guilt. It was a reckless move, but it worked. 
“He was being torn to shreds. I did what any of us would’ve done. If he has a problem, he can come talk to me about it instead of hiding from all of us like a teenager.”
Her gaze softened. “He has a lot on his plate.”
“So?” You combatted, annoyed all over again.
“So, I think maybe what happened today scared him, and he doesn’t know how to process his feelings about it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shrugged, refusing to meet her gaze.
“You’re his best friend, and he almost lost you today. Go talk to him.” She suggested, patting your shoulder. “I think it’ll do everyone some good. And I do mean everyone. He’s scary when he’s mad.”
You shrugged her off, finishing your dinner in silence. If Miguel was so pissed, why couldn’t he come talk to you about it? Why, after years of knowing each other, were you still the one approaching him with an apology? Why couldn’t he just say what he meant for once?
But of course, after you finished your dinner and realized, hopelessly, that the only person you wanted to see was, in fact, Miguel, you huffed and began the trek to his office, where you knew he’d still be brooding.
The tension in the building had lessened after many of the spider-people had returned to their own universes, glad to get away from the uncomfortable elephant in the room, but that didn’t stop your stomach from clenching when you rounded the corner into Miguel’s dim, untidy workspace.
He was hunched over his desk, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. From your position, you had a clear view of the damage that had been done to his back earlier that day. You winced, thinking back to the few seconds of absolute terror you’d experienced when you’d seen the anomaly tearing into Miguel’s skin. The claw marks had already healed a little, now just raw, nasty looking scratches down the curve of his spine. 
He turned at the sound of your footsteps, though he had likely heard you coming since you stepped foot out of the cafeteria. Anger flickered in his cold gaze, but he was still here, decidedly not hiding from you, which was a good sign. You stepped into the workspace, setting the extra food you’d bought for him down before fully turning to face him.
“Hey.” You murmured. “Brought you some dinner.”
His gaze flicked from your awkward stance to the box of food on the table. “Thanks.”
Short. Blunt. To the point. You sighed.
“You’re still mad, then?” You asked, crossing your arms.
“Are you saying I shouldn’t be mad at the stunt you pulled today?” He glared, standing to his full height and towering over you.
“I’m saying you shouldn’t be mad at me for saving your life, asshole.” You looked up at him, refusing to back down.
“I had it under control. It was my anomaly to handle.” His nostrils flared with anger. 
You threw your hands up indignantly. “It was our anomaly to handle, and I handled it just fine! In case you don’t remember, I was good enough at handling myself to be recruited by you for this stupid team!”
“What you did was incredibly stupid. The anomaly could have killed you. Don’t you get that?”
“The anomaly was killing you. I did what I thought was best-”
“Exactly. You did what you thought was best and didn’t think once about the team. You risked an entire universe to show off!” He cut you off, slamming his hands on the desk on either side of you, effectively cornering you.
Your voices had risen considerably since your initial arrival, and you were now inches apart, screaming at each other.
“To show off?” You pushed at his enormous chest, vision blurred with a mixture of tears and anger. “I risked an entire universe to protect you, you asshole! Everything I do is to protect you.”
He grabbed your wrists, easily stopping your arms from pushing him again. 
“You could have died.” He grunted, squeezing your wrists.
“Why do you even care, Miguel? The anomaly was taken care of, just like it always is. We’ll go take care of another one tomorrow, just like we always do.”
“Because I love you, obviously!” He yelled, releasing his grip on you and taking a full step backwards. Stunned into silence, neither of you said anything for a full ten seconds. He began pacing in front of you, hands on his hips, breathing heavily as the magnitude of what he’d just revealed fully hit him. He paused when he heard you sniffle, and began speaking.
“I love you. Can’t you see that?” He asked, stepping close to you. Tears welled in your eyes, and you couldn’t bear to look up at him for fear that it might be a dream, or worse, a cruel trick of his. “I care because I love you, and I almost lost you. I-” he swallowed thickly, “I almost lost it when I realized what you were doing. And when we couldn’t find you after? That was the worst thirty seconds of my life.” He shook his head, clearing the thoughts from his mind. “I can’t lose you. Do you understand that? You’re mine. I can’t lose you, baby.”
You finally lifted your chin, meeting his gaze. He tentatively cradled your cheeks, wiping away the stray tears that had snuck down your face during his speech. 
“I love you, too.” You murmured, nuzzling into his palm. “But you can’t expect me to just watch while you’re being torn to shreds. I had to do something.”
He nodded, though it clearly pained him to agree with you about it. “I know. And I know you can handle yourself. I’m sorry for getting so angry, but you have to understand that your safety is the most important thing to me when we go chasing after anomalies. And I know that it should be saving the universes that we’re in, but it’s not. It’s you, and it’s always been you. Don’t ask me to change that. It will always be you.”
You blinked up at him in stunned silence, nodding. You couldn’t remember when your feelings for Miguel had shifted to something beyond friendly, but you’d never before allowed yourself the fantasy of him loving you in return. It was something you’d come to terms with months ago, accepting that you’d never get to hold him the way he deserved to be held. But now he was standing with you, holding you, begging you to understand that all of his anger has been out of pure, unselfish love for you. 
“I won’t ask you to change that.” You conceded, a small grin forming on your face, “As long as you promise to at least try to stay out of harm’s way.”
“I promise, but you know harm seems to seek me out no matter what.” His grin mirrored the one on your face. He shifted his head down, stopping only centimeters away from your lips. “If I asked you to kiss me right now, would you?”
“That depends.” You breathed, heart thundering in your chest. “Are you going to be this dramatic every time I save your ass, O’Hara?”
He chuckled, cradling your head in his massive hands. “Maybe. Yes. Definitely.”
You shrugged, nodding. “Okay.”
“Okay?” He asked, eyes flicking between your gaze and your lips.
“Okay.” You bobbed your head once and then leaned in.
He captured your lips in an earth-shattering kiss, exploring every inch of what you offered to him eagerly. His hands roamed the length of your body, pulling you fully against his heated skin. You melted into him, pliable to his every whim and desire, going exactly where he wanted you to go, doing exactly what he wanted you to do. Heat coiled in your entire body, poised to erupt at the slightest touch he offered. You reached forward, tugging at the material around his waist. If he wasn’t inside of you soon, you thought you might explode. His hands wandered below your waistband, too, eager to please.
A loud clunking sound from around the corner had you springing apart, panting, overheated, and completely high off one another’s touch. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed to be seen kissing Miguel. In fact, you were planning on kissing him at every moment possible, if he’d let you. It was the fact that you’d very nearly allowed him to strip you naked and have his way with you in his very public office. He seemed to be thinking the same thing, coming to his senses and adjusting the uncomfortable looking bulge in his pants as the sound of footsteps grew nearer.
“Miguel, you’re going to be in an even worse mood if you don’t just go talk to her. I mean, really, you’re both acting like idiots and clearly love each oth- oh!”
Spider-Woman came into view, waving her hands frantically and then doing her very best to hide the smile growing on her face. You shifted your feet awkwardly, trying your best to look like you hadn’t had Miguel’s tongue shoved down your throat ten seconds earlier. Miguel, as stoic and unperturbed as ever, had simply bent down and returned to scribbling on the paper from earlier, which made you involuntarily scowl. He always looked so cool. It was annoying.
“Am I…interrupting something?” Spider-Woman asked, smirking. Clearly, you weren’t doing a great job hiding anything from her. 
“What was that you were saying when you came in? Something about my mood?” Miguel asked, lifting his gaze to hers.
“Oh, nothing!” She grinned, turning on her heels and leaving the room as fast as she had entered it.
Miguel looked at you, suddenly shy now that you were alone together again. “Wanna bet how long it’ll be before she spills the beans to someone about us?”
You barked a laugh. “I’ll give you my entire paycheck if she hasn’t announced it to someone already.” 
Tag List:
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hier--soir · 5 months
Text
a lover's pinch | six
joel miller x f!reader
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pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: joel and rachel have dinner. a confession is made. warnings/tags: au, university professor joel, age gap [20 something years diff], ethically dubious relationship due to inherent power imbalance, JOEL POV, sexting/nudes, joel has bad restaurant etiquette lmao, descriptions of arousal, references to past smut, the guilt and shame that sometimes go so neatly hand in hand with wanting, miller daughter cameo, mild angst, discussion of a car accident. word count: 4.8k series masterlist | main masterlist a lover's pinch playlist a/n: just a reminder that this is set within ALP5, when joel goes to have dinner w rachel. just a short little peek into my beloved professor’s mind, and some context between j & r. hope you like it x follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing this is part six of ALP. you can read the previous parts here: one, two, three, four, five.
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Sunday.
“Nina thinks it’ll rain tomorrow. Overcast too, probably.”  
There’s a faint hum through the phone as she speaks. A vague buzz that crackles and pops in almost every beat of silence. Not for the first time, Joel wishes she would let him buy her a new phone.
A gust of wind whips against his face and he cringes, turning his back against the draft.
“Okay,” he replies. “That’s okay, right?”
“It’s fine,” she grumbles. “Wanted to take you to this bar, though. They do these tacos we love. Nina says it’s the best Mexican place in New York.”
“Now how many times do I have to tell you there’s no good Mexican food in New York?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Joel can practically hear her rolling her eyes. He chuckles.
“What time are you coming ‘round?” Ellie asks. “I’ll be in the studio for most of the day, but we normally get home around five. Could do dinner around eight?”
Joel hesitates, and then raises his voice to be heard over the rushing wind. “I was actually thinkin’ I’d come see your studio.”
A moment of humming, crackling silence.
“I’d love to see some of your work,” he continues, peering in through the window of the restaurant. He thinks he can see Rachel through the frosted glass – her mess of dark curls vaguely visible, tucked away somewhere in the corner of the space. He hears Ellie breathing through the phone as he looks. “And s’been too long since you showed your old man any of your paintings.”
“Joel,” she huffs, and it’s that smartass, pained tone that has him grinning wider than anything she’s said up until this point.
It’s few and far between lately – hearing that name coming from her mouth. Joel. Something that’s been intermittent for almost a decade, and has been steadily decreasing since she moved to New York five years ago.
Joel, Dad, Joel, Dad, Joel, Dad.
Joel for years, and then one day—Dad.
It was Summer; Ellie was eighteen and he was thirty-nine, and this word that he’d grown so accustomed to hearing suddenly felt like a fist squeezing around his heart. It became something new, something different. Because Joel knew that, for her, family had always meant mistrust. Had always meant loneliness. Knew that sometimes her childhood felt like a knife stuck in her throat, and on those days, she had to decide whether to leave it in and stem the blood flow, or pluck out the blade and watch everything turn red.
And then one day, years on, it seemed that she’d drawn that dagger enough times. The blood stopped, the mistrust fell away, and—Dad.
Dad to Sarah and now, finally, Dad to Ellie.
“Ellie,” he imitates her tone, well-versed in mirroring her attitude after so many years of practice.
A voice rears up directly behind him and Joel stiffens, glancing over his shoulder to watch a couple exit the restaurant. Coat collars dragged up to protect their necks, arms linked as they smile and start down the street. He imagines Rachel sitting inside, alone, and his smile falters. He knows he should go back in soon, but can’t quite bring himself to cut this short.
“Yeah, okay,” Ellie answers finally, and he can feel the weight that rests in those words.
The admission, but also everything that goes unsaid alongside it. A silent acknowledgement of years spent reading between the lines, trying to know each other; years of her locking her bedroom door, hiding her journals, her artbooks, her pencils. Anything to keep someone else from seeing the way she expresses herself – from understanding that she feels anything. And this yeah, okay – well, it’s as close to I love you as the two of them ever get.
Joel says, “I’ve been missin’ you, kiddo.”
And she says, “I know.”
More silence. More contemplation of how to respond, how to keep emotions level when he is not Joel in this moment, but Dad.
Plucking out the blade.
“Ten tomorrow morning. I’ll send you the address,” Ellie says after a while. “Don’t be late or I’m not showing you shit, old man.”
Heat blasts his face when he steps back inside the restaurant. He tugs his jacket off as he wanders his way toward their little corner table inside San Vecchio—old saint. A small Italian place that Rachel likes to visit whenever she’s the city, and has slowly but surely grown on him.
When he gets close enough to see the table his stomach drops, face twisting into something apologetic as he lowers himself into his chair.
“Shit,” Joel mutters, staring at their food. Brought out while he was on the phone, sitting untouched; she didn’t even pick up her fork in his absence. A shameful heat rises in his face. “I’m sorry, Rach.”
“Hon,” she just laughs him off. “It’s okay, it only just came out.”
He nods, grateful, and lets her pour him a generous glass of wine. Red. A bottle of the Carignan, please, he remembers her telling the waiter. Although, when he takes a sip, he can’t tell the difference between this and the twenty-dollar cabernet he buys once a fortnight from the grocer.
They press the lips of their glasses together and murmur soft calls of cheers and another conference done, the words all but swallowed up by the raucous sounds around them.
“How is she then?” she prompts, never able to tame her curiosity.
“Ellie?” Joel’s eyebrows jut up, and he sets his wine glass down. “Good, yeah, good. It was nice to hear her voice, I, uh, I’ve missed too many of that kid’s calls over the past few months.”
Rachel nods, and when she smiles his chest feels a little lighter, because it’s the type of smile that says it’s okay, everything is okay, you’re a good dad, you took the call. And she has always had that kind of soothing effect on him, since the day he met her all those years ago. There’s this compassion to her character; a warmth akin to that of a sister. Smarter than hell and kinder than she’s ever been given credit for.  
“Are you seeing her while you’re in town?”
“Mhm, tomorrow.”
“Well, that will be lovely,” she beams and takes a sip of her wine. Carignan stains her mouth. “Is she still with Nina?”
“She is.”
“God, that must be, what, four years they’ve been together now? That’s great, Joel.”
“I’m happy for her,” he smiles, gripping his fork. “They’re renting out this art studio together at the moment – Nina’s an artist too, did I—?”
“Yeah, you told me.”  
“Yeah, they’ve been using the space to work on some new stuff. Ellie was tellin’ me ‘bout this gallery downtown, how they’ve offered her some exhibit space. Gonna have a show down there in March.”
“Wow, that sounds amazing,” Rachel’s eyebrows raise, top lip quirking into a soft smirk as she twirls her fork through a mess of red pasta. “Do you think they’ll get married? Follow in Sarah and Tim’s footsteps?”
Joel can’t help but laugh at the idea. He tries to imagine Ellie and Nina in a chapel, or on a beach, or anywhere, professing their love for one another with friends and family watching on. Tries to imagine Ellie, all tattoos, messy hair, and gangly arms, tucked into a suit or a dress. The image doesn’t come easily.
“I don’t really think they’re the type,” he admits, and Rachel laughs too then.
“No,” she agrees. “I guess not.”
She asks more questions about the girls, the way she always does. Asks about Sarah’s job at the primary school, if teaching is all she thought it would be.
And something like halfway through their meal, around a mouthful of food, Rachel says, “You know I’m glad we’re here, because I need to ask you something.”
Joel’s hands still, face going slack as he meets her eye. There’s something conniving in them. Something sly in the way she smiles, baring her teeth at him. It makes his stomach twist into a tight, burning knot. What does she know?
“Okay,” he says slowly, lowering his knife.
“So,” she hums. “At the conference yesterday…”
“Yeah?” he rasps, blunt nails digging into his thigh beneath the table.
“I couldn’t ask you about it because I didn’t want anyone to overhear us, but… did you see what Professor Neilson was wearing? That blazer?”
“Jesus,” he deflates.
“Oh, come on,” she sputters, and there’s lipstick stained on her front teeth and he finds himself smiling too, relaxing.
“You’re a filthy gossip, you know that?” he raises an eyebrow.
She grins back at him. Winks and says, “Don’t act like you don’t love it, Miller.”
So, for an hour they eat, and talk, and drink. Don’t stop until their cheeks are sore from smiling and their ribs are tight and aching from laughter.  
With full bellies and rosy cheeks, they scrape their plates clean. Lips purse and pucker around final sips of wine, and then… and then Rachel reaches across the table and places her hand atop his.
And Joel has never noticed that she has sunspots across her knuckles. Never noticed that she wears a ring on her pinkie finger, one with a dark emerald stone in the middle. Never noticed the thin white scar beside the nail on her index. She squeezes his hand, the pad of a finger skimming his wrist, and he remembers how he held someone else’s wrist only hours before this. Felt her skin beneath his fingers – the frailty of the tendons and veins beneath it, swimming with life as his thumb pressed down.   
Joel feels his eye twitch. Works to keep his face relaxed, calm. And when she leaves her hand there, he laughs a little. A choked, wary sound. Turns his hand over so his knuckles are against the table and his palm is against her palm and squeezes once in return. Rachel isn’t smiling anymore.
“You okay, Rach?”
“Do you…” she pauses, mouth twisting into a shy smile as she clears her throat. Joel feels something heavy settle in his stomach. A type of dread that curdles and burns like red sky at morning. “Do you remember when Sarah was in that car accident a few years back?”
Joel swallows. Her hand feels too warm against his, her palm tacky with sweat.
“We were… we were at work, and… and Tim called you and told you she was in the hospital—”
He almost cringes at the memory. Her husband’s name flashing across his phone screen during a lecture. Stomach churning and why is Tim calling me, heart racingand Tim never calls. Remembers hearing those panicky breaths down the line and thinking Texas and Maine had never felt further apart than in that moment.
“You drove me to the airport,” he nods. His knuckles feel tight – he wants to pull his hand back and crack them. Wants to feel the joints pop beneath his skin, let the tension slip away like a sigh.
“You were so distraught,” Rachel sighs. “I’d never seen you like that. So uncomposed, so… chaotic.”
Joel huffs out an awkward laugh and tries to pull his hand back, but she squeezes harder. Keeps it in place beneath her own.
“What’s this all about?” his eyebrows furrow, face pinching into a sort of scowl. He can feel it, he can always feel it when his face does this. So unpleasant, so unwelcoming, and he knows it. Just never figured out how to stop it from happening.
“We were in the car,” she continues, and her eyes are so earnest now. So wide, the whites shining, her lashes darkened and fanned out around them in a way he’s never seen before. She’s wearing makeup. “And you didn’t even have a bag packed, you just wanted to get to your girl. Needed to see her with your own eyes, make sure she was okay.”
His jaw feels tight inside his head; teeth clenched painfully, digging into the gums around his molars as the memory plays in his mind.
Tim’s voice wavering, crying, she was unconscious when they pulled her out.
His hand is numb beneath Rachel’s. She’s fine, he reminds himself. Sarah’s fine, that was years ago.
“I think I knew then,” she says quietly.
“Knew what?” Joel tries to keep his voice level. Ignoring the odd feeling that twists in his chest and has his heart racing faster, so much faster than normal, faster than it has ever raced for Rachel.
“That I loved you.”
It’s almost dreamlike, the way everything seems to blur and fade around them after she says it. Or perhaps nightmarish is the right word. A sharp pain sparks between his ribs and he feels his body stiffen and then loosen all at once. Face, shoulders, hand beneath hers – everything softens. Fuck. His mouth tastes like sandpaper, tongue resting fat and gravelly against the roof of it as she stares at him.
When he doesn’t say a word, she says, “I’d always known you were so kind, so generous to the people around you. But to see the way you love? It’s… shit, Joel, I just knew.”
He’s convinced his throat is tightening.
“And I held it in all of these years, and I’m sorry for that. I was just never sure of how you felt, and you never tried anything with me, never hinted at any feelings. But after the conference yesterday...”
“The conference?” he whispers. He pictures that bench outside NYU. Remembers the nasty wind, an empty champagne flute on the ground, the side of his body going hot where it pressed against hers.
“Walking around that hall together,” Rachel smiles. “You kept holding your arm out for me to hold, and I thought, god, maybe this is it. Maybe you actually feel the same.”
Joel imagines that this must be what people describe as critical velocity. Everything that once was smooth turns turbulent. Every second, every minute, that he’s allowed himself to careen forward, wanton and reckless, on the deliciously destructive course he’s set for himself – all of it just for someone close to him to step directly into his line of fire.
And his silence is so painfully telling. He knows immediately when it’s been too long, too much quiet, too many seconds of nothing said, of no reassurances offered. The muscle in her jaw ticks, and a vertical line appears between pinched eyebrows. Confusion, surprise, hurt. Her hand pulls back, and he tucks his in his lap quickly.
“Oh,” she whispers. “Oh, shit.”  
Joel is suddenly certain that he’s going to be sick. His hands shake beneath the table, a violent tap tap tap where they’re clasped against the inside of his thigh.
“Rachel—”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Please, don’t apol—”
“I shouldn’t have said—”
“Rachel,” Joel’s voice raises, just a little, just enough to make her pause, enough for conversation at the table beside them to halt for a second. “If anythin’, I should be the one apologisin’.”
She laughs; a sad, quiet thing. Shakes her head at him.
“I guess I… somewhere in my head, I thought you knew,” Rachel says quietly. “Thought you….” The unspoken words hang in the air between them. Thought you felt the same.
And it hurts. His skin prickles at the sound of her voice; laced with pain, with rejection. Your fault, he thinks. That pain is your fault.
“Is there someone else?” she asks then, and her voice is so feeble. So small, so un-Rachel that it makes his chest feel tight. Your fault.
Joel sighs, cringes, fumbles for the right words. The words to explain something that he himself doesn’t even fully understand. Words that will make her feel better, that will put her at ease. Put him at ease.
“It’s not….” he trails off, half-prepared to lie. But then he meets her gaze. Sees the tears that have settled on her waterline and knows he can’t. Wants to hate her for asking, wants to beg her to take back the question. But in the end he just admits quietly, “I suppose there is.”
She sniffles, and when she speaks again, it almost sounds like a question.
“You never mentioned anyone.”  
“I know,” Joel nods. “I’m sorry, I think I just… it’s complicated, and it… it’s new.”
“New,” she repeats softly. “And you never… you never thought of me that way.” This time it isn’t posed like a question. There is nothing open ended about it. Instead it’s resigned; final.
The corners of her mouth are downturned, and her lower lip wobbles, a movement so miniscule that he could have missed it if his eyes weren’t trained on her face. Trying painfully to understand this situation that feels as if it has crept up on him in his sleep. 
“I’m sorry,” Joel finds himself saying again, and he thinks his eyes must be wide, unblinking, because they’re dry, and he feels panicked.  
In his mind all he can think of is every cup of coffee in her office, every borrowed book, every sly joke in the corridor at work. Comforting smiles offered at conferences, snarky notes passed back and forth during faculty meetings. His friend. One of the truest, longest, most persevering ones in his life. One so dear to his heart. The idea of all of that being no more seems almost too painful to contemplate in the middle of a restaurant, with your fault thundering in his chest.
Rachel waves a hand. Feigns nonchalance and offers a watery smile.
“I’m happy for you, Joel,” she says. He doesn’t miss the waver in her voice, nor the harsh splash of crimson humiliation that stains the skin of her face. “I am. Really.”
Except he doesn’t know how to respond to that, doesn’t know what there is to be happy for. Can only watch her face. Can only sit, and stare like a fool at the way the skin beneath her eyes tightens as she draws back tears.
“I’m—” Rachel swallows. Sucks in a huge breath and flattens her palms against the table. Her napkin, stained with soft blots of red and brown, is pressed beneath the fingers of her left hand. The one with the sunspots and the ring and the scar. “Sorry, if you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’m going to use the restroom—”
“Rach,” he tries, hand reaching across the table for—for what? Joel isn’t sure. What is there to do? To say? “What can I do?”
“It’s okay,” she stands, holds a hand out to silence him. Steps out from the behind table and squeezes past him. Her fingers brush against his arm as she goes. “It’s fine, I’m fine, I just need a second to freshen up.”
Joel watches her weave through the restaurant, shifting around tables, until her back disappears through a door at the far end of the room.
There’s a minute of painful quiet. A sort of buzzing in his ears that won’t go away. For a moment all he’s aware of is the look of disdain coming from the woman on the table to his left, and the sharp pain in his chest, and then the sounds of the restaurant come rushing back in. Cutlery scraping against plates, conversation, laughter, the sound of a bell ringing. And something buzzing, really truly buzzing this time. Something against his leg.
Joel pulls his phone out of his pocket and tries not to wince when he sees her name on the screen.
Are you enjoying your dinner?
The glance he spares over his shoulder is short, searching, looking to see if she’s coming back yet. Don’t make this worse than it already is.
Yeah, the restaurant is nice.
What are you doing? 
Well my bags are packed, and I just tucked myself into bed
Something tightens in his stomach, and he knows what she’s doing, knows this game so well. The way she always manages to creep beneath his skin. Knows exactly what to say, to do, to have him hanging on her every word.
His fingers hover over the screen, contemplating a response.
Is that right? he types out, and then grimaces, backspacing quickly.  
Want some company? he types next.
“Christ,” Joel mutters under his breath, erasing that too.
Embarrassment itches across his body. And then guilt, like a tidal wave chaser rushing to cool his inflamed skin, as he notices Rachel walking back toward him. You fucking asshole.
He straightens in his seat, tucking his phone out of sight as she hovers beside the table, eyes darting between him and her empty chair. She doesn’t sit down again.
“I think,” she takes a deep breath. “I think I should probably go. Early flight to catch, you know? I need to get some rest.”
“Yeah,” he says quietly.
He can feel his mouth hanging open, dumbfounded, ridiculous, as his brain scavenges for something to say. Never the right words, never when he needs them. Not for her, and not for Rachel.
Rachel reaches for her purse, and he holds out a hand. “Hey, let me… I’ll cover this.”
She pauses, nods. “Thanks.”
“Course,” he says gruffly. She pulls her coat from the back of her chair, wraps it around herself and does the buttons up slowly. Her mascara is smudged. “Hey, Rach, can we… should we talk about this some more? I don’t want to—”
“Not tonight,” she interrupts sharply. “Please, Joel, I’m sorry, just…. not tonight.”
—lose you.
“Sure, okay.” His throat is tight, your fault lodged heavy against his Adam’s apple. “You need help to get a taxi?”
“I’m fine,” she places a hand lightly on his shoulder, and presses her thumb against the skin beneath his collarbone. “Get home safe, okay? We can talk in Maine.”
“In Maine,” he repeats, and the words split and sour inside his mouth. “Okay.”
He doesn’t watch her leave. Doesn’t want to have to see her retreating from him. Doesn’t want to think about if this will be the last time they get to do this.
The waiter returns and he pays the bill, hastily jotting down a generous tip, and offers the women at the table on his left a tight-lipped smile before standing up.
When he finally makes his way outside, he finds a tax idling by the curb, lights on. The driver notices Joel staring; rolls down the window and raises his eyebrows. Where to?
Joel only shakes his head a little, leans his back against the dank, cold brick wall behind him. He takes a deep, shuddering breath before opening his phone, and sends two words.
Show me.
And then, when she doesn’t respond for a moment, he sends another message. Insistent now. Desperate, and even more desperate not to let it show.
I know you want to show me, sweetheart.
And when she does show him, it takes all of his might not to let this guilt consume him. Takes everything not to ruminate on how quickly he can shift from I’m sorry to Show me.
Because her skin.
So much skin.
Soft, smooth; shrouded in a robe that covers more than he’d like, and he knows how it tastes. Knows how it feels. Could press his fingers, his lips, his nose, to every part of it that he’s touched, in the exact same places, from memory alone.
It’s cold outside – windy, the beginnings of tomorrow’s storm twisting through the air. He feels it snake across his neck, curl beneath the lip of his collar, as he takes in the curve of her breast, the stiff point of her nipple, peeking out from behind white fabric. His cock stiffens in his pants.
He gazes at the softest part of her stomach, the thatch of curls that cover her mound, and wants to press his palms against the plush of her thighs. Wants to lay himself atop her, feel that skin against his again, hear her whimper and moan beneath the broad weight of him as he slips inside her. Wants to snatch her finger from her mouth and glide it inside his own. With her slick and her skin against his tongue, he’d sink his teeth in and inhale that warmth, that beating, pulsating force that he’s found himself so intoxicated by.
And to think, only hours ago, he was doing just that. Lowering himself to the ground in a public bathroom and drinking her down. Feeling the muscles in her thighs pull tight and then loose against the sides of his head. Anything to satisfy the craving that only she seems to inspire in him.
Resolute, persistent – a probing, prodding thing that nips at his heels and thrusts him forward at a double time pace.
A hunger that follows him down the nights and down the days.
A hunger that can only ever be sated like the taking of a sacrament – on his knees, devotion in his eyes.
Jesus.
Are you wet?
You know I am.
Are you touching yourself?
Joel’s jaw tightens. He holds his breath and waits. Can’t quite tell what would be worse; knowing that she’s touching herself, alone, thinking about him, or that she isn’t, that she’s waiting for him. He can feel his cock leaking against his thigh.
No.
He exhales heavily, and the faintest hint of a groan slips out with it. Fuck, pull yourself together.
Joel’s fingers float over the keyboard, and for a moment he thinks of Rachel.
Thinks that if he could only bring himself to look up, to look away from her, he might be able to see Rachel still. The back of her coat, the dark scrawl of her hair, disappearing into the night. Joel thinks of the tears in her eyes, taunting him, threatening to spill spill spill, to streak down rosy cheeks and wet the hollow of her throat. Feels something throb and crack in his chest – a painful, resounding ache that hurts so much like fear, like loss. 
Your fault, your fault, your fault.
And wouldn’t that be so much easier? If he were to look away, to chase his friend down the street and tell her that he was wrong, that he wants her, that it makes sense for them to be together. Wouldn’t it be easier if that were true?
But he doesn’t stop looking at her. He thinks of Pothos, of Himeros, and stares at the soft curve of her stomach, the indent of her belly button.  Looks at the way her lower lip rests below her finger and pictures it swollen, slick with a medley of her spit and his. Even notices a small mark, nestled in the crevice between her hip and the top of her thigh. A fading remnant of where his teeth had once pinched – like a tangible little footprint, whispering that he was there.
Longing and desire flame between the cracks of his ribs; a bright white heat that curls itself around your fault until he manages to shake the thought.
What was it that Kaminsky said? There was no mythology: Odysseus hanged himself. Homer drank to death and stank of mud.
And perhaps he was right; for there is no witness to this. No being over his shoulder, God or mortal, to lay their eyes upon this moment and understand that all he has ever known of love is deprivation. That fondest, blindest, weakest part of his being that has always yearned for, or perhaps grieved over, this love that once seemed so intangible and now, at last, maybe he has been deemed worthy of.
Alone so long, living in a body grown accustomed to such quiet. Familiar with no touch other than that of his own rough palms. And now… the intensity of it shakes within him. The urge to sink his teeth in like a bad dog and hold, hold, hold, to consume and be consumed, and never yield to anyone who wants to take this away from him.
No, there is no looking away from that, from her. Joel feels the noose tighten around his neck the longer he stares – a dog on the leash of its own longing, that need only sharpening with every second that dares to pass.
And Joel knows that nothing has ever been easy. Considers the idea that maybe that’s how it was supposed to be for him. And perhaps he doesn’t want easy, doesn’t want simple. No – Joel was always drawn to the flame.
Good.
Dinner finished early. Where are you?
And that flame welcomes him now in kind. The arms of a lover spread open for embrace; the address of her hotel sent directly to his phone.
Joel looks up and makes eye contact with the taxi driver again. Light still on.
Where to?
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**the Kaminsky mentioned in this is Ilya Kaminsky, and the quote is from Dancing in Odessa.
thank you for reading! x
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smutstevington · 5 months
Text
Resensitized (part 3) | Eddie Munson x Reader
Summary: You're dating your pornstar roommate. Everything is great! Well, except for the jealousy you're trying not to feel. (part one, part two)
Word Count: 4K
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Pornstar!Eddie x fem reader (no use of y/n), pwp and lots of feelings, reader tries being a soft dom (and succeeds), she’s jealous but also kinda into it. mild degradation, unprotected p in v, oral male receiving, fem self-gratification, he really do be begging for her, once again Eddie is a simp, playful banter, things get super romantic because that's all I know how to write
A/N: GUYS I FINALLY WROTE IT! So many of you wanted part three, and I really hope it meets expectations. This one is a bit different than the others because reader tries something new. I tried to take all your suggestions into account! Anyway, I think I am going to end this series, but thank you so much to all who read and enjoyed ♥️
------------------------------
It had been one week since you and Eddie decided to start dating, and it was working fine. Actually, it was easier than any of your previous relationships. You were already best friends, and you were already living together, so it’s not like you got tired of each other or were surprised by much. You spent more time together now, setting nights aside for movies and sex and cooking dinner together and having sex and grabbing a drink and then having sex. 
Yeah. You had sex a lot. The two of you were kind of crazy for each other, but it wasn’t like your relationship was only about sex, it just happened to be what you were doing a lot because you’d been doing all the other stuff already. You had a lot of sex to catch up on, and you took that seriously.
And when he wasn’t home….
Okay.
Was it fucked up that sometimes when you were alone in your room you watched your roommate’s porn videos to get off?
….Probably.
But did you care? Nope!
You tried not to think about the psychology behind it. It was probably something like a cuckolding thing, or whatever. It didn’t matter who he slept with on camera, because he slept with you off camera, and it was amazing. 
But then one day you stumbled across a video of him with a woman who looked remarkably like you, and that was the first time you felt that dreadful sting of jealousy. And then after that, you found out he had made a video with her recently, and that’s when your envy got much worse.
Fuck. 
You didn’t want to be jealous. You wanted to be the cool girl who was dating a porn star and didn’t feel weird about it, because you knew going into it that this was his job. You knew he was a porn star when you moved in and became best friends and you definitely knew when he offered to use his porn-star skills to blow your mind. And you knew when you went on a date, and when you had sex again, and when you agreed to keep dating. You knew it the whole time, and you told yourself over and over again that you could date him and not be jealous about how he was fucking other women at work during the day and coming home to you at night, but the truth was - 
Okay, this woman looked just like you. That’s fucked up! 
But you recognized that this was your issue, and you couldn’t possibly tell him this, because this was his career. He made good money from his work. If you told him you felt weird about it, you knew he’d feel at least a little pressured to re-evaluate his job or quit altogether, and you didn’t want to be that guy. But you also didn’t want to stop dating him, so…
It was time to quietly suffer just a little bit and hope he didn’t notice.
Besides, you’d be sitting at home feeling jealous or whatever while he was at work, and then you’d hear the front door open, and suddenly he’d be climbing on top of you and desperately reaching for any part of you to hold and squeeze and touch, and he was moaning and gasping into your mouth like he’d been suffocating and you were his only source of oxygen, and then it didn’t matter anymore if you were jealous, because you couldn’t think. 
The first thing he wanted when he came home from work was you. How could you ever complain?
-
“Something fucked up happened at work today.”
Um. Not really what you’d wanted to hear when Eddie got home, but okay. It was supposed to be one of your date nights, but then he came home from work looking…forlorn? Distracted? Nervous? You couldn’t tell.
He didn’t say anything at first. He just went straight to his room, and then to the shower. He used showers as therapy, basically. That’s what you’d figured out over the course of your lease thus far. Anyway, one of the perks of dating a porn star was that, when your partner came home looking sad like that, your first thought wasn’t “oh God, he fucked someone else.” Cuz, ya know, duh. That came with the territory. You hadn’t really talked about what cheating would entail, or if your relationship was exclusive, but he wasn’t seeing anyone outside of work, and you weren’t seeing anyone outside of him.
He satisfied you more than enough, so…
There was, of course, the one thing that did worry you. You were still feeling that burn of jealousy in your stomach about that video of him with your look-a-like. You repressed the feeling as much as you could, but it was still there, and you couldn’t help but wonder if his mood was related.
“What happened?” you asked. He shrugged, and you noticed his wet hair was leaving spots on his old t-shirt.
“Well, it was -” he stopped himself, palming the back of his neck. “It was while I was - uhh, you know. With someone else.”
You swallowed. “I figured,” you said.
Okay, it was gonna come to this eventually. He’d never been explicit with you about his work, and that was fine. Obviously you weren’t completely in the dark, thanks to your secret night-time habit, but he never told you about what it was like to be with someone else. It wasn’t like you were offended, it just wasn’t something you needed to know. You weren’t sure how you’d feel if you did know, and now you realized you were about to find out.
“Is it weird for me to tell you about it?” he wondered.
You stared at him, and you were pretty sure your expression would have been funny if you were looking at yourself and not panicking on the inside.
“I’m not sure,” you responded. “Probably. Tell me anyway and let’s find out.”
There was a shared nervous smile between the two of you. You couldn’t wait for the tension to dissipate. You had to know what was making him act like this.
“Okay, so -” he began, pacing the living room floor and avoiding eye contact. In all the time you’d known him, he rarely avoided eye contact. It was actually incredibly intimidating how much he stared deeply into your eyes when he talked to you.
Aaaand incredibly hot when he did it while having sex with you. Anyway.
“I couldn’t get off,” he continued. “And I’ve told you that happens pretty often for me, but this was even worse than usual. Like, I was nowhere close. So, that was frustrating, and then I - I started thinking about the other night. I started thinking about…you.”
He stopped pacing, but his gaze remained on the floor. Your eyes widened.
Oh.
“Did it work?” you asked. Something in your voice must have tipped him off that you weren’t angry - and you weren’t - far from it, actually. His eyes lifted to meet yours, and the tension in the room shifted to that of a different kind.
“Like a fucking charm,” he replied.
Oh.
If someone had told you before you met Eddie that this kind of thing would have gotten you hot and bothered, you would have been confused. You still would have been confused as you were feeling it, but you were too turned on to even focus on the confusion.
It was bad enough that you sometimes enjoyed watching him with other women, and now you were wet at the thought of him fucking someone else and having to think about you to enjoy it?
Wait, no. Actually, you were pretty sure that the second part was objectively hot.
“Well, you were right. That is fucked up,” you said. For a moment, his face fell. His eyebrows scrunched together, and concern flooded his expression again. He walked toward you to take your hands in his, bringing them to his lips.
“I know,” he said, kissing down your wrist. “Fuck, I - I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry -”
“No, no,” you interrupted, sliding your hands from his grasp up to either side of his face. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t really understand what I’m feeling, but for whatever reason I’m very, very into this.”
Eddie raised his eyebrows in disbelief.
“Seriously?” You nodded, hungry.
“Uh-huh.”
What you had was electric and powerful. It was like you were magnetically drawn to each other. Your lips quickly found his as your hands tangled in his wet hair, pulling it the way you knew he liked. You bit and nipped at him, resenting that you had to be gentle. You didn’t want to be gentle this time. You wanted nothing more than to ruin him. 
Because you had ruined him, clearly. You’d ruined all other women for him. You both knew it. 
You felt possessed by something so much bigger than the two of you. A deep, instinctual desire - an unstoppable desperation. You walked him backwards until you reached the couch in the living room, then pushed him until he was sitting down. He stared up at you, slack-jawed and panting, his swollen lips pink and shiny, his eyes dark and wide. 
You slipped your shirt off over your head and let it fall to the floor. He reached for you, but you shook your head. You wanted to undress for him, this time. Your fingers slowly trailed down your exposed stomach and to the button of your jeans, working them undone. He watched your every methodical, deliberate, tantalizing move, and you could see the shape of his hard dick growing beneath the fabric of his pajama pants. He palmed himself as you slid your jeans down your legs and kicked them off. Next came your bra, and then your underwear. 
You were standing fully naked in front of him, which would have been enough to drive him insane, but then you slowly got on your knees.
“Ohhhh, Sweetheart,” he drawled, his breathing getting more and more erratic. “What are you doing to me?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” you teased, tugging at his pants until they were past his hips. It took some squirming on his end, followed by giggles between the two of you, but then you were pushing his legs apart to get between them and leaning over to suck him off.
“Fuuuuck me,” he whined as your lips found his tip. His head fell back, his eyelids drooping. 
“I will,” you replied, coy. “But I want to try something first.”
The first time you’d hooked up, he’d told you he’d always wanted to try degradation and being a bit more of a sub, but since then you’d only ever fed into the kind of stuff he did at work. He focused a lot on your pleasure - and he always enjoyed himself too, but still. You wanted this time to be different.
You wanted to own him. 
“Anything,” he muttered. “Anything you want, it’s yours.”
He was taking to being submissive quite well, wasn’t he? And you were doing pretty well at the soft dom thing. 
(You may or may not have done some research on the subject)
“I’m the only one that can make you come, right?” you asked as you teased his cock with gentle licks and kisses. He groaned and moaned at your touch, then nodded viciously. “Okay. This time, I don’t want you to come until I say you can. Deal?”
He nodded so fucking fast you worried he would get whiplash. It was kinda cute how red in the face he was. He looked as if he was going to burst. 
And then he said something you didn’t expect.
“Am I - am I dreaming?”
You pulled away from him and sat back on your knees, looking up at his face and waiting for him to break and explain the joke, but he didn’t.
“What?”
“Am I - fuck, never mind,” he said with a sigh. “I don’t fucking care if I’m dreaming, just - just don’t stop, baby, please. I - I - don’t stop.”
God. His begging really did something to you. You smiled, and then your smile turned to a smirk as you decided to resume your work. The lust within you took over again, and suddenly you were climbing on top of him, straddling him, grinding against him until his eyes rolled back into his head.
It felt good for you too, of course, but that wasn’t what you were worried about. 
Degradation. That was the word he used when talking about what he was interested in. You also knew that sometimes, fantasies didn’t feel the way you thought they would when they actually played out. You were slightly worried about this next part, but figured it was worth a shot -
“All those women and I’m the only one that can get you off,” you said as you continued rocking your hips against his erection. “You’re not even inside me and you’re a fucking mess.” 
His mouth was open in a silent scream, his eyes fixed to the ceiling. 
“Please fuck me,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “Please, please fuck me.” 
You’d gotten tested for STI’s the day after you and Eddie agreed to keep dating, and everything came back clean. He was routinely tested as well, so…no need for condoms, really. Especially with you on birth control. The main reason you still sometimes used them was for easier cleanup, but considering how often you two had sex, it was far more convenient to go without and suffer the consequences as they came (pun intended).
You lifted yourself high enough to line him up with your entrance, then slowly sank back down. Immediately, he was melting beneath you, which only made you wetter for him. You slid him into you until he bottomed out, then stilled.
“Remember,” you whispered against his lips. “Don’t come until I say so. I wanna come first.” Immediately, his hand dove between the two of you as his fingers went to find your clit, but you grabbed him by the wrist. “No, I want to do it myself.”
And so, Eddie watched you. He watched as you touched yourself while bouncing up and down in a steady rhythm, progressively getting faster and deeper until you were clenching around him. It took everything in him not to grab you and fuck into you harder and faster. Never in his life had he tried so hard not to come, and that’s why this was all so pleasurable. 
When your moans sounded just the way he liked them to and he felt you get warmer and wetter around him, he nearly lost it. He almost spilled into you, but managed to hold off by digging his nails into the meat of his thighs. 
For your second orgasm, you let him use his fingers while you rode him, telling him exactly what to do. And after you’d settled, and your mind centered back in your body, you realized you’d put him through enough.
“Okay,” you exhaled. “I got mine.”
Eddie was so completely fucked out. He looked like you probably should have, but you still felt in control. It was a nice contrast to all the other times he’d had you screaming and whimpering his name. He didn’t even react - he seemed to have no idea what to do next.
“Aww,” you said, running your hands through his hair. “Did I fuck the thoughts out of that pretty head of yours? Come on, I know you know what to do next.”
“You want me to -?” he began. His voice was weak and hesitant. “You want me to fu - I mean, now?” Instead of answering, you slid off his lap and got on all fours beside him.
He was fucking you within probably about three seconds.
He grabbed your hips and pulled you into him, thrusting into you over and over again, faster and harder and causing all kinds of noises to echo in the room. The sounds of skin and desire, all culminating into something that sent you spiraling into orbit.
You almost didn’t notice when he spoke again.
“Tell me to come,” he pleaded. “Tell me I can come now.”
You were well past the point of teasing him, so instead you gave in.
“Do it,” you permitted. “Come inside me.”
So, he did. He filled you and continued fucking you until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up so your back was against his chest, then left desperate kisses on your cheek, neck, and shoulder - wherever his lips would reach. You felt his heavy breathing, the rise and fall of his ribs, the warmth of his skin. He wished the feeling would never end - he wished he could spend eternity doing just this, and then he wished he had several other eternities to spend doing nothing with you. He loved every moment. He was so far fucking gone into loving you. Perfect, beautiful, intoxicating, you.
-
There was a box of tissues on the coffee table, which ended up being a lifesaver in terms of cleanup. Of course, the two of you had to work together to reach over and get the box without toppling over. Then, you both wandered silently to your room, knowing that you’d be far more comfortable cuddling on a bed. 
He held you so close to him it almost felt more intimate than sex.
“That was -” he began, his tone calm and warm. “That was the first time I’ve done that.” You giggled, angling your neck to kiss him quickly before returning to lay your head back on his chest.
“Was it as good as you hoped it would be?” you asked.
“I still can’t really think straight, so yeah,” he replied. You laughed again. “Where’d you learn to do that?”
You bit your lip, the anxiety returning just a little bit. 
“There’s a lot of great info out there on the internet,” you responded. He chuckled, then kissed the top of your head.
“I know, I’m involved in a lot of it,” he said. And then he said something else, and your heart stopped. “You know, when you said - ‘Did I fuck the thoughts out of that pretty head of yours?’ - I was thinking about how that question was kind of familiar.”
You were so glad your ear was to his chest and it wasn’t the other way around, because he absolutely would have been able to hear your pulse rising. 
“It’s a common thing for people to say when they’re doing the degradation thing,” you quickly replied, hoping he’d drop it but knowing he wouldn’t.
“Oh, I know,” he continued. You could hear a smirk in his voice. “I’ve used that line a lot.”
Now your heart was beating so fast, you wondered if he could feel it pounding in your chest somehow. You sat up, noticing the way he was looking at you as if he was saying - Gotcha.
“It wasn’t -” you sputtered. You weren’t sure why you were even attempting to keep this from him anymore. “It’s not like you came up with it, Eddie. It’s - that’s -  it wasn’t -”
“Baby,” he said with a light laugh. “I’m just teasing you. But, your reaction is veeeeeery suspicious.” 
You were blushing so hard it burned your cheeks. Meanwhile, he was completely amused by the whole situation. 
“Okay, so I’ve watched more of your videos!” you confessed, probably too loudly. And then, the words kept flowing before you could stop them. “Sue me! My boyfriend is fucking other women and sometimes I get curious, and sometimes I think it’s hot - although, to be fair, I only focus on you, obviously. Except for when you’re paired with the woman who’s basically my twin, and then I just get - ugh, whatever. It’s not a big deal.”
He was grinning, practically giddy, and it drove you crazy. 
“Boyfriend?” he asked, chuffed. You rolled your eyes.
“Shut up, you’re obviously my boyfriend,” you shot back immediately. “Is that seriously all you got from my whole confession?”
“What do you think I am, your priest?” he teased. He put his arm around you to pull you back into him. “Don’t get any ideas, by the way. No way I’d ever do religion roleplay. That’s off limits, even for you.”
You had to admit - the phrase even for you gave you butterflies. 
“You’re not into the whole, ‘forgive me, father, for I’ve been a bad bad girl’ kind of thing?” you asked, allowing yourself to tease him back. He chuckled, running his fingers through your hair.
“Ah, so you do watch porn that’s not me,” he replied. You couldn’t help but smile at his joke, but you playfully smacked him on the arm in retaliation. 
“Of course I do,” you answered. “Not that kind though, don’t worry.”
“Hey, I don’t kinkshame,” he said, putting his hands in the air. “But that’s one you’d have to go find with someone else.”
“I don’t want anyone else,” you said back. Your words were decisive and stern. “Come on, let’s just be honest. I like you. I want to be with you. And I really try not to get jealous, and I don’t want to be jealous, but sometimes I am. Because I want to be the one for you. Like, that’s why I jumped you today. I know it’s your job, and I don’t want you to change your life for me. But yeah, I get jealous sometimes. And, like, this is less serious, but I wanna be able to bite you and not think about whether or not I’m leaving marks for someone else to see. For your partners or thousands of viewers to see. I just - I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.”
Eddie’s hands returned to your hair. He sighed, but it wasn’t a sigh of disappointment or anger - it was something else.
“You wanna mark me up, huh?” he responded. “Tell me more about that.”
You hated it when he got evasive like this. Lately it had been happening more and more.
“Oh my God,” you groaned. “Yeah, I do. I’ve been holding back, you know. I’m a biter.” Eddie’s eyes lit up.
“You’re reeeeeally fucking with my refractory period, baby,” he said. You rolled your eyes.
“Eddie, focus,” you told him. “This is serious.”
His last wall came down. You could practically see it happen.
“I know,” he said at last. “I know it’s serious, and - and I don’t want to be with anyone else either. Like, I’ve been really struggling with work and thinking about how I can get past it, but I can’t. And then they paired me with someone who - yeah, it’s freaky how much she looks like you, I agree - but I promise it was just weird for me, because she wasn’t you. No one is you. I don’t want to be with aaaaanybody else, honest to God. I just - I love you, okay? I’m in love with you.”
Of all the things he could have said - of all the things you wished for - all the things you hoped he’d say - this was better than all of them. This was - this was everything.
“You’re in love with me?” you echoed, your voice small and quiet. 
“Afraid so,” he replied with a slight smile. “Genuinely, it’s terrifying. I’ve never - Sweetheart, you’re it for me. You gotta know that.”
For a minute, you didn’t know how to respond. You wondered how long he’d loved you - how long he’d known that you were what he wanted. You thought about yourself, and how your feelings for him were clearly there, but love? You hadn’t considered being in love with him, and yet the moment he told you he loved you, it was as if all the puzzle pieces came together.
“I love you too,” you told him.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You continued cuddling and talking after that as you discussed what you were going to do next. More specifically, what he was going to do next. He’d have to take a pay cut and switch to solo stuff, but he had enough saved up to get by. There was also the option of you joining him for a video, but that was a question for another day.
You had time to think about it. In fact, it was possible you had your whole life.
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